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wu-sisyphus-gang · 1 day

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Weiss: We need to get you something casual to wear. Even I don't just have dresses. I have skirts, and jeans and yoga pants.

Jaune: What's wrong with this shirt? It's cotton. It's comfortable.

Weiss: You don't have any other shoes just those heavy boots.

Jaune: What's wrong with my boots? They're comfortable and I know if I have to I can crush somebody's skull with them.

Weiss: Besides the fact they are on my new coffee table? Get some slippers, sandals, or tennis shoes and I'll let the shirt and pants go.

Jaune: I have jeans...

Weiss: One pair? I've seen your closet. Face it. You've gone all hunter with no relaxation.

Jaune: I sleep shirtless in gym shorts. Are you complaining about that? It's not typically something a loving wife tells their husband. 'Put on more clothes.'

Weiss: You also only have one pair of gym shorts. You're so military it would make a Spartan cringe. It's not like you don't have the money for clothes.

Jaune: I've been busy.

Weiss: But now you're not.

Ruby: Ooh! We should dress him up!

Jaune: What am I? A doll?

Weiss: It's settled then.

Jaune: Settled how? Since when are we putting things to a vote. That's not allowed. Everyone has to be onboard.

Ruby: Get democratized.

Weiss: What happened to your onesie? At least you had that. At least it existed even if I am glad you just sleep in gym shorts.

Ruby: Your chest is nice to sleep on. How is it soft and hard at the same time? But we aren't hoofing it around anima anymore and you're not clawing your way back to Vale. Let us dress you up.

Jaune: Again like a doll?

Ruby: Yeah. But you're our doll. Please? For me?

Jaune: *makes the mistake of looking into her eyes, gets up with a sigh*

Weiss: We don't mean right this minute. Good gods.

Jaune: *sits back down* You know where to find me.

Weiss: You have to teach me how to do that Ruby.

Jaune: You both do that to me. You looked at me, folded your arms, and told me to get a psychiatrist and I did.

Weiss: True. But there’s something special about the way Ruby says ‘please? For me?’ Isn’t there? She does it to me too. She’s like ‘I know you like this color of paint for the bedroom but I like this one. Won’t you agree to it? For me?

Ruby: *has this look of 'who? Me? I'm not familiar*

Jaune: As far as I’m concerned you both cheat hard and ruthlessly. How often do you walk around singing in the kitchen while you’re making coffee? You cheat. You both do. You both do it as much as you can get away with and that’s quite a lot. And what am I supposed to do? I’ve got nothing. I have neither defense or offense.

Weiss: How is doing things you love cheating? I happen to sing while I’m doing chores. That’s for me. If you happen to like it, then that is on you. I am talking about how Ruby actively uses her charms to get us both to do what she wants.

Jaune: And I’m just saying you’re not innocent. As soon as you found out it turns me on when you sing you started singing at me all the time.

Weiss: Okay. I did do that.

Jaune: Bangarang. And everyone in this house knows that Ruby just looks up at you with those big silver eyes and asks nicely and gets her wishes granted. Everyone knows that. Especially Ruby. She knows we can’t help ourselves and she knows that we know that she knows. But there’s nothing to be done. What am I going to do to get what I want?

Weiss: You don’t want anything though. You don’t really care what color the annex office gets painted. You hardly care what you eat for dinner. You could probably eat the same thing every day without complaint.

Jaune: That’s exactly what I used to do at Beacon until you moved in with me. I ate the same thing every single day. And you know what? I liked it.

Weiss: You’re schizophrenic. You have to stop with these mentally unwell behaviors. That’s a part of fighting back against your illness. It’s not enough to just take the meds.

Ruby: Yeah, that’s a sign of mental unwellness… You should eat different things…

Jaune: Exactly how long term am I supposed to be thinking here?

Weiss: *Smacks his chest gently with the back of her hand*

Ruby: *much less flirtatiously and aggressively hits the inside of his thigh*

Jaune: And you both abuse me.

Weiss: Oh shut up.

Ruby: Big baby.

#rwby #rwby incorrect quotes #jaune arc #weiss schnee #whiteknight #white knight #motion sickness #ruby rose #lancaster #war of roses #whiterose #white rose

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wu-sisyphus-gang · 1 day

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*Ruby and Weiss dress Jaune up in a turquoise button up and jeans in a mall*

Ruby: “Yes! We made him hot!”

Weiss: *rolls her eyes but high fived Ruby’s hand anyways* “He was always conventionally attractive. Except when he was noodly. Once he got that broad chest and wide shoulders he became much more attractive.”

Ruby: “How about a hoodie or two?”

Jaune: “I haven’t worn a hoodie in seriously a year or more."

Ruby: “Maybe they aren’t for you. Well, they are for you. But maybe they’re for us.”

Jaune: “What do you want with my hoodies?”

Weiss: “She wants to steal them and wear them to bed.”

Jaune: “Just steal a shirt of mine. I don’t mind.”

Ruby: “But I used to steal your bunny hoodie in Anima and wear that and it was comfortable. And I had it after Mistral and it smelled like you.”

Jaune: “You did?”

Weiss: “She was wearing it all the time in those days after Salem took you in Mistral. I had to rustle her out of it because it started to stink. She was really depressed and your hoodie made her feel better.”

Jaune: “I don’t suppose you also want to wear a hoodie, Weiss? Or will you rise above and resist the urge?”

Weiss: “I might. It was comfortable sleeping in one of your shirts. Why? Do you like it when we wear your clothes?”

Jaune: “It’s a tiny bit sexy seeing you in something I wear with only a bra or nothing on underneath. What isn’t sexy about that?”

Weiss: “No. You should explain. Why does that turn you on?”

Jaune: “Why does leaving love bites on your neck turn me on? It’s a symbol that you’re mine. So is you in my shirt or hoodie I suppose.”

Ruby: “You have to wear them, though. Or else they won’t pick up your smell.”

Jaune: “See?” *points at Ruby* “See that desire to be around my stink? And to smell like me? That’s sexy and a little proud. Like my flag flying over a ship.”

Weiss: “You don’t stink.”

Jaune: “You knew what I meant. How else can I explain it? It’s a sign that you want me, which is sexy. And it’s a sign that you’re mine, also sexy. Why do you like wearing my clothes?”

Ruby: “Because I’m yours. I like smelling like you and smelling you all the time. I like being wrapped up in your smell. Because I love you. It makes me feel small and safe at the same time.”

Jaune: “That’s sexy. Isn’t it? It’s adorable. And you? Weiss?”

Weiss: “I liked wearing your shirt…”

Jaune: “Why?”

Weiss: “It was comfortable…”

Jaune: “It was huge on you. I thought you might drown in it.”

Weiss: “It’s like you were hugging me.”

Jaune: “If you want a hug I’ll give you a hug. Whenever you want one for as long as you want.”

Weiss: “I want to smell like you. And it’s comfortable. Girl clothes are all uncomfortable. Dresses aren’t comfortable. Yoga pants and bras are tight and uncomfortable. Hoodies are big and comfortable and smell like you. And we like your smell. It’s associated with good memories. Smell is good for memory. What do you want?”

Jaune: “You’re so adorable. Like Ruby is open about it which is cute in it’s own right. But with you I have to pull it out and drag it out like a confession. Is it such a horrible crime to be affectionate and want to wear my clothes?”

Weiss: “You’re teasing me."

Jaune: “All this talk about smell makes you sound like a puppy… Poor little Weiss. Surrounded by people who love her. How will she survive?”

Weiss: “I am not a puppy,”

Jaune: “You’re so adorable. You want to steal my hoodies and sleep in my shirts. Does it make you feel safe too? What am I going to do with you, Weiss?”

Weiss: “I’m warning you…”

Jaune: “I’ll just have to love on you and kiss your forehead and squeeze you tightly. Won’t I?”

Weiss: “Let’s just get him some hoodies and be done with it."

Ruby: *giggles*

Weiss: “And what’s so funny to you? You like wearing his clothes. This was your idea.”

Ruby: “But I admitted it openly.”

Weiss: “I admitted it too!”

Ruby: “So he didn’t have any power over me because I came right out and said it. You were shy and tsundere about it. So you gave him the edge over you. And he’s right. You’re so cute. The way you crave affection and deny it at the same time is adorable. And he and I will do something about it.”

Weiss: “Like what?”

Ruby: “We’ll spitroast you. And shower you with affection.”

Weiss: “If anybody is getting lit at both ends in the bedroom it’s you. You’re the submissive one.”

Ruby: “But I’m open about it. I accept that I like being dominated. You, on the other hand, try and fight it. But you always let him bend you over and pull your hair. You let him push you down and take you. You love it. But you always try and fight it by being dominant at first. You just can’t seem to accept that you like being pushed around and told what to do.”

Jaune: “At least there’s one place where I’m the boss… You girls love telling me what to do.”

Weiss: “Try this on.” *holds out a hoodie to Jaune*

Jaune: “A little like that.”

Ruby: “Don’t be a ninny and put on a show for us, Jaune. Like a model.”

Jaune: “I’m not a model.”

Ruby: “But you could be."

Weiss: “The hair and the eyes. I hope if we have a boy then he has your hair style even if he takes my hair color.”

Jaune: “Are you saying that you like my hair?”

Ruby: “It’s so much fun to play with."

Weiss: “Try this one, too.”

Jaune: “Do you like playing with my hair too, Weiss?”

Weiss: “A little. I like running my hands through it.”

Jaune: “Aw. You didn’t put up any fight that time.”

Weiss: “You want me to?”

Jaune: “It’s adorable when you do. So a little.”

Weiss: “But you also tease me about it?”

Jaune: “As much as I can get away with. Yes.”

Weiss: “Men.”

Jaune: “What other men do you even know and like?”

Weiss: “Oscar.”

Jaune: “He’s just a boy. Don’t rope him in with me. He doesn’t deserve that.”

Weiss: “Quit it, you.”

Ruby: “No more bad mouthing yourself. I forbid it. It’s forbidden now."

Jaune: “But that’s basically all I do.”

Weiss: “Well, you’ll have to stop I guess. Part of the battle against your illness is not having negative thoughts about yourself. Let alone orally communicating them. Let’s try this one."

Jaune: “What am I going to do with all these clothes you guys are making me buy? I’m still just going to wear pretty much my huntsman get-up around.”

Weiss: “No you’re not. You’re going to wear casual clothes on casual days. You can wear your hunting clothes to work and if they ever call your number for missions but on Saturdays and Sundays you will wear casual clothes and you will like it. I like my hunting clothes too. But I also like wearing casual stuff and I want to steal your hoodies and I want them to smell like you so you better be wearing them.”

Ruby: “Come on, Jaune. You don’t want to just see us in our hunting clothes, do you?”

Jaune: “I could look at you in that tight corset all day long.”

Ruby: “Well I don’t want to wear that tight corset all day long. It’s hard on my boobs.”

Jaune: “I’m hard on your boobs.”

Ruby: “Oh, you! Go try on those hoodies.”

Jaune: *changes into one of the hoodies requested* “Well?”

Weiss: “It looks good…”

Ruby: “Looks comfy. Is it?”

Jaune: “It’s comfortable. I’d still be more comfortable in one of my tunics.”

Weiss: “Lounging around the house and wearing a hoodie won’t kill you. You enormous baby. Try on the blue one. I think it will match your eyes and make them pop.”

Jaune: *steps back into the changing room and tries on the blue hoodie. Steps out again.*

Ruby: “Who said hoodies can’t be hot.”

Weiss: “The clothes make the man.”

Jaune: “Pretty sure that if I’m hot I’d be hot without the hoodie.”

Weiss: “What do you mean ‘if you’re hot?’”

Jaune: “If I am hot.”

Ruby: “You’re hot.”

Jaune: "Yeah maybe but I can’t be like ‘I’m hot.’”

Weiss: “‘Maybe’ he says. Like pulling teeth.”

Ruby: “Why can’t you say that you’re hot?”

Jaune: “Uh, because I might not be.”

Ruby: “But you are. You’re hot. Can I say that I’m hot?”

Jaune: “Of course. You’re smoking.”

Ruby: “You’re smoking! You can say you’re hot.”

Jaune: “Can’t do it.”

Weiss: “Jaune you’re more than conventionally attractive. It’s not just your personality that attracted us to you. You’re hot.”

Jaune: “Maybe…”

Weiss: “What do you mean ‘maybe?’”

Jaune: "Maybe you think that but not everyone would?”

Weiss: “Most people would say that you’re attractive!”

Ruby: “He’s just not getting it.”

Weiss: “I know. I know. It’s my fault.”

Ruby: “How?”

Weiss: “He has low self esteem still because I rejected him back at Beacon.”

Ruby: “You can’t blame yourself for that! My gods, you both would blame yourselves for the moon if you could.”

Weiss: “I don’t know about that. He was young and I rejected him and he got this idea that he isn’t good looking. And he is.”

Ruby: “Nope. Not your fault. Jaune is Jaune. I don’t want to hear you blaming yourself for Jaune's poor self esteem. There were a lot of factors that went into this.”

Weiss: “But-”

Ruby: “Nope! Go try on the striped hoodie, Jaune.”

Jaune: *walks back into the changing room and tries it on* "So?”

Weiss: “Yeah. I like it.”

Ruby: “Me too. I think I like this one the most. DIbs on this hoodie.”

Jaune: “I haven’t even worn it for five minutes."

Weiss: “He could be a model for it. Put that in a poster and ship it. It would sell like hotcakes.”

Jaune: “What am I trying on next?”

Weiss: “Some shirts and jeans and sweatpants. A full wardrob."

Jaune: “Do I really need all that?”

Weiss: “Why not? Where are you going?”

Ruby: “Move in with us to stay. You don’t need to live light anymore. You can relax and unwind. I know it’s hard. You're coiled up like a spring ready to fly at any time but you don’t need to with us.”

Jaune: "Sure. Fine."

#rwby #rwby incorrect quotes #jaune arc #weiss schnee #ruby rose #lancaster #whiteknight #whiterose #white rose #white knight #war of roses #motion sickness

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