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kenananamin · 6 months

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A Storyteller's Biggest Fan

Summary: Nanami loves listening to you speak. You fill a silence he has never been able to fill himself, so when he sees you getting into the A Court of Thorns and Roses series, he’s ready (and excited) for the rambling to start. fluff, nanami is a very patient man, obv major acotar series spoilers (a/n: i was in the car w/ my bestie for 3 hours after a movie and we talked about a bunch of stuff and that included me rambling about acotar lmao so here's what i think nanami would do in a rambling session)

Nanami's bookshelf was... uniform. He enjoys non-fiction, good biographies and autobiographies, and a whole lot of business themed books. There might be a few poetry, fiction, or self-help books scattered in the mix but the bookshelf as a whole looked the same.

Your bookshelf on the other hand was very very different. You enjoy similar things as Nanami but your bookshelf is packed with fiction, crime and mystery, historical fiction, graphic novels or comics, some horror, and very recently... fantasy. Fantasy was interesting but you never saw yourself digging too deep into any fantasy lore. You never really enjoyed stories where a powerful creature hundreds of years old is yearning to love a small and fragile human... at least until now. You accidentally fell into the world of fantasy when one of your favorite youtubers made a video on a a series you've seen everywhere but never picked up for no particular reason.

But now... your days were filled with the damn series. Nanami had noticed that you had been too quiet and on your phone much more than before. He wondered if he had done something wrong but you quickly shut down that idea and tell him you've been completely enthralled by the ACOTAR series. You had found a fan made audiobook and checked out the e-books through your community library which is why you were on your phone much more than before. You pull out your phone to show Nanami the book and give a small summary on the books. He laughs at what he can obviously tell is contained excitement but tells you that you shouldn't be so secretive or shy with finding a fantasy series you like.

The next day, Nanami stops at the bookstore to buy the series for you. He had to look up the series and check he wasn't missing anything and double checked with the cashier that those five books were the complete series. It was very different than anything Nanami had ever bought but he flipped through a few pages to get a taste of what you were reading.

The next week was filled with acotar content not only for you, but for Nanami as well. He would hear you listening to the fan-made audiobook while you cooked on your nights and would sit across from you as you cooked to listen to a few chapters with you. He liked seeing your eyes widen at the new revelations and your almost inaudible gasps at some trials that the main character was being put through. Nanami would ask a few questions throughout to try to stay in the loop but he'd mostly stay quiet and watch you instead.

It was part of your daily routine to go to the living room couch or your bed after some meals where you would either watch something or grab your own books to read over tea. Nanami grabs his book and looks over to your phone to check if you were on the first or second book. After confirming, he grabs the second book and returns to the living room. He sits on the couch, puts his book on one side and reaches for the mug of tea you're giving him. He gives you your book and extends one arm on the back of the couch so you can lean on him as you read. Reading was a quiet activity but he appreciated every second of silence that would let him listen to your calm breathing and slow sips of tea.

After a while of reading, Nanami puts his book down and takes off his glasses. His eyes were tired and didn't feel like reading anymore. But he didn't want to move, he wanted to stay in that position so he asks for you to read your book aloud. You turn in his arms and ask if he's sure, you knew fantasy wasn't his cup of tea and you didn't want to force him through anything. He nodded and smiled so you turn back around and start reading.

"Oh yeah she's illiterate, that's kind of important. But Rhys teaches her how to read and write, it's kinda hot but ok whatever," Nanami laughs as you interrupt reading the book to give explanations as to why certain things are happening. It's been over an hour since you started reading and Nanami's planning on letting you continue until you stop yourself.

———

Almost a week after Nanami bought the books, you were completely done with the series. You would try to keep your rambling short if Nanami asked about it but you wanted nothing more than to talk about this whole series. After finishing the books, Nanami noticed you would use the quiet reading time to look up theories and read through ungodly amounts of reddit threads.

"Don't you want to talk about it?" Nanami asks.

You turn in his arms, "Talk about what?"

He points to your phone with his head, "About the books. You can tell me about the books and the theories and well — everything."

You lightly laugh, "Well it's interesting and I really really like it but I know this isn't your cup of tea, Ken. I don't want to force you through anything fantasy."

Nanami puts his book down and grabs your phone from your hand to put on the bed. He sits up straight against the headboard and says, "You're not forcing me through anything. I want to listen to you talk about it. Now go, start."

You smile wide, knowing he's genuine in wanting to hear about it.

Oh god, I hope he doesn't regret it, you think before sitting next to him and starting.

———

"And they're mates! He had visions of her even while he was under the mountain and she was on mortal lands! And the visions got clear when she crossed to the spring court!" You fall back on the bed to kick your legs up in the air and continue, "And she always felt him! She didn't know what it was then but she would describe a shadow looking over her and that was him, it was RHYS!"

The more you talk about this series, the more invested Nanami is becoming. He had to put down his mug of tea because he kept shifting all over his side of the bed in anticipation. One thing about you, you can recall a whole story with all important details and tell it to anyone. Considering how important details seem to be in this story, Nanami is happy that you're the one telling this story.

It had been a while since you started your recap. You had snuggled up in bed after lunch and it was now pitch black outside. Nanami didn't mind, he would just pass the mug of tea if he thought your mouth was getting dry and let you continue.

"Tamlin fucking gave up Prythian to Hybern to get Feyre back. Literally sold out every single court and fae and human for Feyre. So now there's a bleeding Cassian and Az on the floor, Tamlin is standing there like it's a regular Tuesday and he didn't betray Prythian, Lucien — well hold on, I like Lucien, that's my boy," Nanami laughs but let's you continue, "but he's there too and the king tells the guards to bring them in. Guess who, GUESS WHO COMES IN?!"

Nanami sits up and tries to actually wonder who, "Amren? Tarquin? The girl from summer? Umm... the weird uncle from the court of nightmares?"

You shake your head as your answer, "No, babe, it— oh my god," You sit up on your knees and ask if he's ready, "babe, it's fucking Nesta and Elain." Nanami's jaw drops and his eyes move wondering if he's missed a detail. "The king fucking brought them to Hybern and he's going to throw them into the cauldron to turn them into FAE. KEN, THEY'RE GOING TO BE MADE INTO FAE, FEYRE'S SISTERS ARE GOING TO BE MADE FAE AGAINST THEIR WILL. AND LUCIEN FINDS OUT ELAIN IS HIS MATE AFTER SHE COMES OUT FROM BEING THROWN INTO THE CAULDRON. AND NESTA IS SO PISSED ABOUT IT ALL SO SHE TAKES SOMETHING FROM THE CAULDRON, SHE'S FAE BUT SHE'S DIFFERENT AND THIS COMES BACK UP LATER. AND CASS AND AZ ARE STILL BLEEDING ON THE FLOOR DURING ALL THIS."

Nanami is running his fingers through his hair, visibly stressed about the state of the Illyrians, the middle sister finding her mate in Lucien and the eldest sister becoming something different. You continue to tell him about the end of the second book and he also ends up on his knees in front of you. If anyone were to walk in, they would see you both kneeling in the middle of the bed, you shouting as you excitedly tell the story and your hands gathered between you, almost as if you were both praying to each other.

"So Rhys winnows his group back to night after Feyre's burst while Tamlin takes Feyre back to spring. But guess what?" You inch even closer to Nanami, "Feyre did not lose her mind in Hybern, she's still Feyre and she ends the book by saying that the high lord of spring has just brought THE HIGH LADY OF NIGHT TO HIS COURT, BABE — KEN, SHE'S A SPY! THE FIRST HIGH LADY OF PRYTHIAN EVER AND SHE'S COME TO WRECK SPRING!"

Nanami mirrors your excitement and stands up with you on the bed as you lightly jump. You're still rambling about Feyre and Rhys's wedding and secret ceremony to make her high lady but Nanami is more focused on the vein slowly popping out on your neck. You're yelling, you're excited, your hair is flopping around while you jump and your hands are moving left, right, up, down, to your face then his chest, you're excited. God, Nanami loves your excitement. He loves the sight and sound of your pure unfiltered excitement.

"So that's the second book, what about the third book?" Nanami holds your forearms as he asks.

You turn to look at the clock and notice it's way too late to start the third book. You know yourself and once you start on the third book, you will want to keep going. You grunt and throw yourself back on the bed. You're face down on the bed and kicking your feet when Nanami kneels back down and strokes the back of your head. You turn your head and say, "The second book is my favorite but god I can talk about the third one for a long time," you sit up to ask, "what if we start the third book tomorrow? I'll start early so I don't keep you for too long or too late like today."

Nanami smiles and lightly runs one finger over your lips, "We can start the third book whenever you want. I don't mind staying up, it's not like we have anything to do tomorrow."

He leans to give you a small peck and pulls away to sits cross-legged on the bed with a pillow on his lap, ready to listen some more. You smile and raise your eyebrows, silently asking if he's sure. He nods and laughs as he motions to continue with his hand.

You sit cross legged in front of him and grab another pillow to pull onto your lap. You take a moment to decide where to start the third book, "So Rhys barely told the inner court about their first ever high lady, and everyone in spring thinks that Rhys went into Feyre's mind and manipulated everything."

Nanami nods and smiles across from you. You begin to ramble on about the third book and there is literally nowhere he would rather be. He mentally makes plans to heat up the leftovers or maybe pop in a pizza in the oven if he hears your stomach growl.

My storyteller. I love my beautiful little storyteller, Nanami thinks as your rambling fills the apartment again.

———

(a/n: honestly y’all i love my bestie so much, i told her everything in that car from acotar to creating this account lmao, i love you girlypop, thank you for letting me ramble about an illiterate character and my favorite bat boy 🥹 also anyone please message me if you’ve read acotar, i want to talk about it and see what others think lol this story might not get any attention and thats fine, i just wanted to express my love for my two favorite things rn (nanami and acotar lol))

OH AND ABOUT THE FAN-MADE AUDIOBOOK— PLEASE check her out, her youtube acct is The Reading Hag Returns and she single-handedly got me obsessed with this series. Here’s the playlist for the first book 🤭 https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2oTNYiJ-4JDcEYd99snnkdjXa2kK9z6i&si=9CQDcNAL6RuXHBAA

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chainofclovers · 7 months

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Half-baked gender thoughts are burning a hole in my pocket.

I've been thinking a lot about "girl math" and "girl dinner" and all the latest ways that gross gender essentialism are masquerading as adorable anti-feminist internet culture and I feel like it is, once again, about large swaths of society fundamentally misunderstanding a capitalist issue as a gender issue.

(This is basically entirely in the context of rhetorical patterns on tumblr rather than the whole of the internet/tiktok/whatever. Just going off of what I see.)

The precursor to a lot of the "girl [noun]" content, at least from my vantage point, and at least here on tumblr dot com, is that type of post that was popular for a while that kind of goes something like "it's cruel that girls have to work constantly, girls should have a special beverage every day and they should be well-rested and their lives should feel good." And...like...yes? Resource scarcity and grind culture and the OTP that is Corporate Greed/Myth of Individual Responsibility are capitalist inventions that are destroying our planet and the quality of our lives! Human beings (girls included lol) should be able to work reasonable hours, earn a comfortable living wage, and have time to sleep and enjoy the pleasures of life! And also, it's fine, great even, for girls and young women to conceptualize their own experiences with capitalist society as personal narrative, and as something innately tied to their gender affinities! Everyone has a right to autobiography! And to trying to summarize their experiences, even very intense experiences, in a cheeky and/or cute and/or playful manner!

But unfortunately, it feels like the takeaway from these well-meaning, largely harmless posts about girlhood and womanhood and work and pleasure, at least for a whole bunch of people, was to accidentally scoot right past the opportunity to examine capitalism and the intersecting pressures of race and class and gender and age and education (or the opportunity to celebrate the joys of enjoying a good latte sans guilt) and instead launch themselves right down the horrifically slippery slope of gender essentialism and paternalism. Yuck yuck yuck.

#gender things #girl math #girl dinner #about me #feminism #internet things #capitalism

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bathomet-writes · 1 year

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siblings!!

summary: When Mutation Day rolls around, you take it upon yourself as the youngest turtle sibling to get all your brothers the perfect gifts tailored to each and every one of them!

relationship: Platonic Turtles x F!Turtle Reader

warnings: platonic, fluff, humor, headcanons

author's note: for @/snipersiniora!! 💕

As the lesser known and youngest teenage mutant ninja turtle, there wasn't much expected of you. It annoyed you to no end. Not that your family looked down on you necessarily, they just didn’t think you were very…skilled.

“Just let us handle it!” Raph would say.

“Don’t sweat so much about tonight’s mission.” Leo smirked, ruffling the top of your head.

Mikey and Donnie were a little less condescending than the others, but they still treated you like the littlest. Which you were, but it was still infuriating. It didn’t really help that you were a bit of an outlier among your family as the lone female turtle.

You sigh, spinning around your tactical umbrella.

“Maybe it’s my weapon? I do kinda look like Mary Poppins with this thing.” You frown.

It was a relatively normal-looking umbrella, but there was a hidden sword sheathed into the handle. It was always fun seeing the look on your enemy’s faces when you revealed just how secretly deadly it was. They immediately underestimated you, making unconscious assumptions.

Shaking your head, you focus up. You didn’t have time to mope around thinking about yourself, not when you had birthday gifts to find! Well, Mutation Day gifts. You had everything all planned out, taking the time to come up with the perfect gift ideas for all your pesky older brothers. They really didn’t deserve such excellent treatment, but you were the bigger turtle.

You honestly loved giving people gifts. It made you happy seeing other people happy. Maybe you were secretly a little selfish, getting some sick kick out of going above and beyond with your gift-giving. Maybe now was your chance to one-up your siblings, at least in a small, friendly way.

“Let’s do this!” You drop off of the rooftop you were perched on, dropping down to the city below.

mikey:

You knew Mikey was still a big fan of Meat Sweats

For some reason...

You never really got him, even though you and Mikey were kind of the un-official 'younger twins'

To the uninformed observer, you two looked and acted practically exactly the same

You were both pretty upbeat, caring, and prone to wild acts of gymnastics

But you had a bit more of a stubborn personality

Not stubborn, just determined!

It was your determination that was going to get you Mikey's gift

After some cursory online research, you were able to find Rupert Swaggart's cookbook/autobiography

That probably would have been a good enough gift, but you wanted to go a step further

It takes a bit of cajoling (maybe a little physical violence) but you manage to hunt down Meat Sweats and get him to sign your copy of his book

leo:

Gift giving for Leo was pretty straightforward

As long as it had something to do with him, it'd be perfect

He never shut up about the fact that he was a Battle Nexus Champion, so you figure something to do with that would be the way to go

...Now, all you had to do was think of what that would be exactly

An award perhaps? Maybe an old bowling trophy with his name plastered on the front

Good, but you could do better

Strolling through the Hidden City, you searched around for some kind of inspiration

There were dozens of vendors and booths selling trinkets, it was practically a treasure trove of gift ideas

It was when you pass by an alley when you see it...

Among the sea of torn-up flyers and advertisements, you spot a poster with Leo's likeness

Running toward it, you get a better look

It's some kind of fan-made screen print! It showed Leo standing confidently in the middle of a battlefield, Lou Jitsu costume and all

It actually made him look good, like a real badass

You couldn't pass up such a beautiful piece of art

Ripping it off the wall, you accidentally tear the left corner a bit

"Whoops..." You sweat, rubbing at the thin paper

Oh well, it would just have to do

donnie:

Donatello had many 'eccentric' hobbies

One of which was chemistry (AKA building weapons of mass destruction)

You knew Donnie was itching to get his grubby little hands on some Uranium, but you wrote that gift idea off immediately

"Where do you even buy something like that? The army surplus store? The black market?"

You decide to consult your sort-of-dad Baron Draxum, he had all kinds of crazy connections

Begrudgingly, he admits that he might...have access to Uranium

"I only have a little bit. It's well within my rights." He insists

After a while, you convince him to 'let you borrow' some

You wrap it up in a cute gift box with a nice ribbon

No one would suspect that there's dangerous chemicals in it! It looked so cute and unassuming!

You sneak into Donnie's lab while he's out on a mission and place it on his desk next to his computer set-up

You knew someone (probably Raph) would confiscate it from him at some point, but it was the thought that counts

raph:

Thankfully, you already had the perfect thing to give to Raph

It was a couple of weeks ago...

You frequented a local antique store, it was fun looking at all the weird human artifacts and knick knacks

One day, you just so happen to come across a Ghost Bear plush!

And it was HUGE! Almost as big as your head!

It must have been some old merch from when he was still human by the looks of it

Looking at the price tag, you cringe

"Ooohhh, that's...that's a pretty penny."

Silently, you debate with yourself

You knew Raph loved Ghost Bear, and plushes...

You would just have to ask Splinter for a little extra allowance next month

Cleaning out your wallet, you buy it

"That guy owes me big time." You smirk

Finally, you get all your gifts (minus Donnie's) together and present them on Mutation Day. To no one's surprise, your gifts are all happily accepted.

Mikey sniffled, bringing you into a tight hug. "I have Meat Sweats' autograph! He actually touched this book, with his own two hooves!"

Leo was rendered speechless, unrolling the Battle Nexus Poster. You chuckle, taking his silence as your proof that you gave him exactly what he was looking for.

"Don't worry, I already gave you your gift," you whisper, winking at Donnie.

You give each other secretive nods, but not before Raph makes a mental note to check up on Donnie later. You two were always up to no good.

He almost gets lost in his own thoughts before you nudge Raph his present.

"Here! I saw this and knew you just had to have it."

"Aww, you didn't have to--" He smiles, tearing open the wrapping.

Once he sees the plush face of Ghost Bear looking back at him, Raph immediately gets choked up. His eyes widen and start to water, bringing the plush up to eye-level.

"How did you find this? I thought they were all discontinued!"

Laughing, you do a little spin on your toes. "I knew it, I knew you'd love it! I found it at the pawn shop up top.

Before Raph can get too emotional, he collects himself and calls the rest of the turtles over.

"These are all amazing, and all we got you was..."

You peek over his shoulder as he motions over to the center of the lair. Sitting next to the skate ramp and workout equipment was some kind of long bench. When did that get there?

Walking over, you get a better look. It was, from what you can tell, an old gymnastics bar used for balancing.

You run your fingers along the side and marvel at it. "Is this for me?"

"Well, duh!" Leo smiles. "We tried finding one of those asymmetrical bar things for you to flip off of and stuff, but we sorta--"

"Donnie broke it moving it down here." Mikey cut in, eyeing Donnie up and down.

Sighing, Donnie shoves Mikey aside. "I told you to pivot, and you didn't pivot!"

Shushing his other brothers, Raph steps forward. "The point it is: We know we can be kinda a handful, and you don't always get the same treatment. But, we wanted to do something nice for you."

You beam, watching them come in to squeeze you into a big group hug. You agree, they could be a lot sometimes. But, they were your family. And you wouldn't trade them for anything.

"You guys are the best!"

taglist: @saspas-corner

#rottmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #sfw #mikey x reader #michelangelo x reader #rottmnt mikey x reader #leo x reader #leonardo x reader #rottmnt leo x reader #donnie x reader #donatello x reader #rottmnt donnie x reader #raph x reader #raphael x reader #rottmnt raph x reader #requests #headcanons

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elusiveclownbox · 6 days

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SOME ANDREIL/NEIL/ANDREW CODED SONGS (in my humble opinion)(with links to listen)

(because i have the biggest brainrot, they’re also just great songs so please give them a listen!)

Neath The Grove Is A Heart

Yaelokre

“Home is where we are now. Home is where you are. Home is where I am standing. Where I'Il be staying forever now”

this entire post is just gonna be my biased interpretations of songs but honestly the entire song gives vibes to me…the places that one would refer to as “home” being a constant ever changing cycle of different places, never being able to stay and settle in a physical place. but finding a home in someone else.

Room By Room

Shayfer James (I’ve almost exclusively been listening to him, so the rest of the songs are his oops)

“If the keys in my hand turned a lock of your hair I would walk through the glance, but I'd stop at the stare. And I'd follow it down To the very last step and I'd wait by the room where your secrets are kept”

THOSE ARE THE FIRST LYRICS cmon mannnn,,,learning the brutal past of someone you love as they allow you in, do i even need to say it?

First Date

Shayfer James

“Tell me your story, and I'll tell you mine, I think we will get along fine. Tell me your riddle, I'll tell you my rhyme, I think we will get along fine. And if the rules change, don't hesitate to say you've had enough of me”

It’s literally the whole beginning of their relationship, a truth for truth, trade for trade. The game of, maybe not necessarily originally trust, but of mutual understanding that grows into trust and respect.

Your Father’s Son

Shayfer James

“So if you're any good at bluffing, I suggest you do it quick 'cause everyone is next to nothing, and every tock will have a tick. It fits so well. What you've become is your father's son which will never be much of anyone”

Oh Neil, you poor boy cowering in the shadow of your father, his legacy locked within your image and the face you share with him. No matter what new name and identity you create, you know your father will never be far behind, you will always be his son. At least, that’s how it used to be.

Learning to Be Lost

Shayfer James

“I am a plagiarized autobiography of wreckage, a shipwreck in sheep's clothes. Be patient with me, I am learning to be lost. Don't be gentle. Never gentle. Be mindful of me, I will sink at any cost”

This I feel resonates more with Andrew, but one could argue resonates with both. They both have tortured pasts that are unspeakable to almost all but each other, but Andrew shoves that past and those memories behind a face of calm indifference and apathy. But they are both navigating a relationship with each other that they are unfamiliar with, and didn’t necessarily intend to enter. As they reveal bit and bit of their pasts, they don’t want pity or sympathy, their pasts are what created them and they refuse to be treated as though they are broken, especially Andrew.

Lullaby

Shayfer James & Kate Douglas

“People can't be trusted and we have to fight to stay alive. We'll always be the enemy, oh. Eye for eye and limb for limb, The blood that I've been swimming in, oh. Mother, I've grown tired of this. Mother, I've grown tired of this. There's beauty and there's empathy, some people might've cared for me. I hid my heart, and stayed inside, instead of moving with the tide”

THIS IS ALLLLL NEIL BABYYY. Blindly continuing to follow his mother’s words and advice, she kept him safe for so long after all (in her own way). He trusted that she loved him, wanted to protect him, but he missed out on so much because of her. Missed out on friends and life in general, people who might have been able to actually help him. If it wasn’t for meeting people more stubborn than him, for wanting to just exist for once, he could’ve been on the run and never settling for so much longer. Or have died.

Carve A Smile

Shayfer James

“And with every kiss you make a better man of me. The safe disguise of accidental lies won’t hide us here, no more, my dear. And I would sacrifice the air that makes my body breathe, if it keeps you safe”

They are both so willing to put themselves in harms way to protect the other, even before they came to realize just how much the other meant to them. Andrew with the intention of winning, and Neil half the time not caring if he ends up dead as long as Andrew is alright.

PLEASE DROP YOUR OWN SONG REQS i love good music.

anyway if anyone has actually made it to this point thank you for listening to my babbling. I can associate any and every song i listen to to whatever i am currently hyper fixating on and i need to express it outwardly. Hopefully yall like the music at least, even if you disagree with my interpretations!

#I cannot express how badly i wish i could animate or make comics so i could really show people what i see when i hear these songs #pls give me song recs #i see and hear them everywhere #i cant escape #i love them #the brainrot is real #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #aftg #neil aftg #andrew aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #music #aftg trilogy #nora sakavic

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hellframe · 3 months

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Francis Abernathy: fake pince-nez

I was wondering where Francis ‘borrowed’ this accessory, so let there be some observations.

First of all, there’s a sassy definition of a typical dandy by Paul de Saint-Victor (La Presse, 21 August 1859):

'Black Prince of Elegance, the demigod of boredom who looked at the world with an eye as glassy as his pince-nez, suffering because his disarranged cravat had a crease, like ancient Sybarite who suffered because his rose was crushed.'

Then I thought that red hair combined with pince-nez reminds of Ezra Pound, known for his dandyish style and some other unpleasant things.

[Considering that Henry Winter could be read as a projection of T. S. Eliot, I think it's logical to compare Francis to Eliot's friend Pound, who edited The Waste Land, btw.]

Pince-nez also wore Mark Twain, another elegant redhead. Speaking of Twain, he left a description of one notable encounter in his Autobiography (vol. 2, 1924):

'Last night I was at a large dinner party at Norman Hapgood's palace uptown, and a very long and very slender gentleman was introduced to me — a gentleman with a fine, alert, and intellectual face, with a becoming gold pince-nez on his nose and clothed in an evening costume which was perfect from the broad spread of immaculate bosom to the rosetted slippers on his feet. His gait, his bows, and his intonations were those of an English gentleman, and I took him for an earl.'

Dapper-looking, tall, thin young gentleman in pince-nez, giving an impression of English aristocracy at uptown dinner parties. Doesn’t it sound like Francis?

Another possible source is 'The Adventure of the Golden Pince-Nez', one of Sherlock Holmes short stories. This pince-nez belongs to a refined and well-dressed lady, who committed an accidental murder, and then committed a suicide.

Eventually, when I was reading a review on Baudelaire’s last oeuvre, among his notes about Belgium I discovered a curious fact: Baudelaire complained that Belgians sold pince-nez with plain glass as a fashion accessory.

So I put my nose into that piece of prejudiced decadent writing:

'The pince-nez, with its cord, perched on the nose. A multitude of vitreous eyes, even among the officers. An optician told me that the majority of pince-nez that sells are clear glass. Thus this national pince-nez craze is nothing more than a pathetic effort to appear elegant and yet one more sign of the spirit of imitation and conformity.'

Late Fragments: Flares, My Heart Laid Bare, Prose Poems, Belgium Disrobed, trans. by Richard Sieburth (p. 301)

Francis bought his phony pince-nez in Belgium. That's it.

#the secret history #francis abernathy #tsh notes #metahemeralism

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rudjedet · 7 months

Note

I would like to see your translation of the story of Ra-wer and your explanation of its meaning.

This has been a hot minute, but here it is!

Transcription of the text itself:

The King of Upper and Lower Egypt Neferirkare was manifest as the king of Lower Egypt on the day of accepting the prow rope of the barque of the God,

while/and the sem[-priest] Re'wer was before his Majesty (i.e. at his Majesty's feet) in his rank of sem and one who pertains (i.e. keeper) to what is upon the arm (i.e. armband).

The Ames-staff which was in the hand of his Majesty, was driven against the leg of the sem Re'wer.

His Majesty then said to him: "Be healthy!" So voiced his Majesty

because his Majesty had said: "That he be very well is desired of my Majesty, with him not having an injury",

because he was more [honoured] by his Majesty than anyone.

His Majesty commanded that it be put [in writing] upon his tomb which is in the necropolis.

His Majesty caused that an a-document [be made for him] therefrom, which was written beside the king himself,

at the pool of the palace (lit. "Great House"),

in order for it to be written in accordance with [what had been said] in his tomb which is in the necropolis.

This is the Old Kingdom autobiography of a sem-priest called Rawer (here rendered as Re'wer because Dutch conventions and all that), who accidentally came into contact with the king's staff during a ritual. Disturbing a ritual/touching the king's staff was hmmm really not good, but the king immediately forgives him because they have a Special Bond. Special enough, in fact, that the story ends up carved on Rawer's tomb wall.

#ancient Egypt #Old Egyptian #hieroglyphs #translation #tomb autobiography

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amazonworrier · 4 months

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Any chance for snixmas we can have head cannons of santana and quinn in the future and how their jobs intersect with their relationship?

Merry Snixxmas!

*Since there are sooooooooooo many possible Quinntana futures out there I’m going with a personal fave: Publicist Santana and Author Quinn get together as adults after not seeing each other for like ten years. I also made this up as I went along & accidentally spun it into a mini fic rather than just HCs which is totally not what you asked for sorry sorry sorry…

Their jobs are actually how they reconnect again. Sort of. Santana’s at an event for one of her clients (asshole actor) and Quinn happens to be dating said asshole actor. Santana does not realise this at the time, because the actor is an asshole and failed to tell his publicist he was dating someone new (a famously devout Christian author, at that!) before bringing her to a highly publicised industry event. It’s a whole thing. Quinntana end up squabbling in front of the press and a picture of them yelling at each other makes the tabloids.

They meet up to do damage control. Asshole actor (let’s call him Adam) is a no-show. Quinn is impressed by Santana’s entourage of assistants and how far she’s come in the ten years since they lost touch. Santana reluctantly admits the same of Quinn, even if she’s not buying the whole ‘born-again’ religious thing. Quinn neither confirms nor denies that she’s using her religion to make a name for herself as a writer. They make peace once Santana explains why she reacted the way she did, make a plan to manage the bad press, then end up going out to lunch afterwards to catch up.

The plan goes out the window immediately when another photo of them at lunch makes the tabloids - specifically, of them hugging goodbye for a little longer than they probably should’ve. Speculation abounds for different reasons this time…

Adam is not happy. He tries to fire Santana over it, which gets her into trouble with the higher ups because he’s a major account. She goes to his house to make amends but Quinn opens the door and they get snapped by the paparazzi again. What a mess.

Adam is stupid and believes all the rumours. He breaks up with Quinn, drops Santana as his publicist and outs Quinn to the media as a lesbian. Quinn is shook. Particularly when it jeopardises the upcoming book tour for her latest novel: ‘Straight & Narrow: My Journey Back Into Faith.’

Quinn’s publisher is furious, but at Quinn’s insistence they believe her when she says it’s all a big misunderstanding. Santana meets with the publisher to assure them that Quinn is telling the truth and offers her services pro-bono. They reject her offer and make an obtuse, incredibly offensive comment about her sexuality in the process. Santana looks to Quinn, but Quinn doesn’t defend her. They have a very tense goodbye and stop speaking after this.

Meanwhile by sheer coincidence, Quinn bumps into Rachel Berry, of all people, at another writer friend’s birthday party. They too have not seen each other in years but Rachel is promoting her new autobiography ‘Barbra and Me: How a Legend Inspired an Icon’ so they have friends in common again. Rachel pretends not to see Quinn at first (in a very obvious Rachel way where she absolutely DID see her), and when Quinn finally catches up with her admits that Santana is actually her publicist and she knows all about what went down between her and Quinn. She’s firmly on Santana’s side in all of it, and politely informs Quinn that straight women don’t have sex with their female friends on Valentine’s Day. Let alone twice. Quinn is floored.

Life goes on. Quinn’s book tour is a success but she very quickly begins to feel like a fraud. During a bookshop Q&A someone asks her what it’s like to be mistakenly associated with someone ‘like Santana,’ and when she realises what they’re getting at something inside her snaps. She outs herself this time. Owns her sexuality for the first time in her life, says she’s been with a woman, that the woman was Santana, and that she had such a great time they did it twice. She voices her regret about a lifetime wasted on the Adams of the world to a room full of press, then walks out. Book sales be damned.

Obviously, Quinn’s publisher drops her. But she doesn’t care. She starts writing a new book almost immediately, an honest one this time. A fiction piece about a girl from a Christian household who spent so long trying to be good she lost sight of what good really was. Good is integrity, good is kindness, good is… a made up word determined entirely by the subjective opinion of the individual. It’s also the working title of her new book until she thinks of a better one.

Santana hears about Quinn’s Q&A epiphany through the grapevine (Rachel) and is quietly impressed. That is, until she hears another rumour that the new work Quinn is shopping around to publishers heavily features a lesbian character from the wrong side of the tracks who serves as both best friend and antagonist to the main character. Seeing red, Santana has her executive assistant secure a copy of the manuscript at all costs.

Santana doesn’t have time to read, so she has her assistant do it for her. What she doesn’t expect is to walk into her office the next morning to find said assistant sobbing over the final chapter. He tells her it’s something she should read for herself, and between that and all the crying Santana is sufficiently disturbed enough to decide she will ABSOLUTELY avoid reading it altogether. She snatches the manuscript, tracks down Quinn’s address and ambushes her after work that night instead.

Quinn gets an offer from a small independent publisher for a limited print run, which she celebrates by opening a bottle of wine and drinking alone in her apartment. When there’s a knock at her door, the last thing she expects is to find Santana standing there, red-faced, waving her own manuscript in her face. She lets Santana rant for a while about betrayal and exploitation and the like, then politely requests that she read the book before passing further comment. Then, she closes the door in Santana’s face.

Santana goes to see Rachel that weekend, who is surprised because honestly Santana never makes social calls anymore. She then sits there while Rachel reads the book all day instead (Rachel actually had other plans that day but you try telling an angry Santana that...). When she reaches the final chapter Rachel starts tearing up, and when Santana asks her WHY, begins reading aloud. It turns out Quinn’s book is a tale of lost love, of the ‘could’ve been’ - of a brief moment in time with the one that got away, and the years long struggle that followed the main character as she continued to deny the truth of who she was and who she loved. By the time Rachel finishes reading it is abundantly clear that the ‘one who got away’ is based on Santana.

Santana goes to Quinn’s apartment again. This time, she’s furious for a different reason. How dare Quinn misrepresent their friendship like that. How dare she misrepresent Santana??? She says Quinn is just as much a fraud as she always was - she’s just swapped manipulating Christian readers for sales to manipulating vulnerable teens instead. Shame on her, she says. Shame. On. Her. Quinn shuts her up by kissing her.

They start dating, slowly at first because Santana is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Six months later, they finally make it official. Quinn’s book is a hit, in part thanks to the whisper campaign Santana sets up in her spare time because her publisher can’t afford to promote it properly and Santana simply cannot sit idly by while the best book she’s read in years flops. They become a bit of a power couple after that - Santana continuing with her day job as a publicist to the stars but using her skills and connections to quietly support Quinn’s career wherever she can too. Quinn holds her own just fine though. She carves out a lovely little niche for herself as a YA author, and is a regular guest at talks, panels and fan conventions across the country.

It’s a good life. Their careers are adjacent enough to one another for them to have things in common but far enough apart not to make their world feel too small. Some (Rachel) may say the situation still gets a little chaotic at times. After all, Quinn has and always will be Quinn, and Santana remains Santana. There’s going to be some bad in amongst the good... But they soon determine that being good all the time doesn’t matter as much as being honest with each other; as being kind even in those moments when it’s easier to be cruel. And by that definition their relationship is good. It is. Always. It’s so good in fact, that Quinn will probably write a book about it one day.

#anon #quinntana #this is soooo long omg I’m sorry everyone else but hopefully whoever asked for this enjoys it at least #santana lopez #quinn fabray #writing things

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protectionsquad24601 · 5 months

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So we know Isadora & Duncan Quagmire are named after the dancer Isadoda Duncan because she died tragically; but she also had a pretty unfortunate life. Let me just summarize some of her story for you:

- her father, Joseph Charles Duncan, embezzling funds, leading to

- divorce of her parents, (well, also the fact that Joseph wasn't faithful) which lead to

- the family being in poverty (side point, there were three siblings, like the three siblings in most of the VFD families)

- Joseph and his third wife (sketchy) and his daughter with said wife DYING IN A BOAT ACCIDENT WHEN IT CRASHED INTO ROCKS UNDER MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES (???!!!!) and is considered the "greatest disaster in the history of the Atlantic Transport Line to date". Oh and here's a picture of the MASS GRAVE

Wow okay anyway

- this isn't exactly "unfortunate" but she dropped out of school at 10

- she worked with Augustin Daly's theater but didn't enjoy it due to her free-spirited nature, and was thoroughly unhappy in America

- she moved to London (which is an unfortunate event alone) and was quite successful (girl's getting a break) but she didn't like touring or contracts because of the commercialism

- therefore she opens a school in Germany to teach dance, adopts six girls (good for her ig) and calls them the "Isadorables" (WHAT) and also they're her protégés; cute but then she tries opening a school but it closes due to WORLD WAR I

- moves to the United States but she plans to leave, narrowly avoids dying at sea like her dad (ok I'm not kidding; she was going to go on the RMS Lusitania, which was TORPEDOED BY THE GERMANS AND HELPED LEAD AMERICA INTO THE WAR, this is all very ironic because she considered the sea inspiration for her dancing)

- she ended up moving to SOVIET RUSSIA which was not smart bc they didn't support her work like they promised. She had established a school so she left it to one of her daughters/protégés/Isadorables

- oh, somewhere during all this, she has three biological children to three different husbands - THE FIRST TWO PROCEEDED TO DROWN (drown???? Oh my gosh this is a pattern) because their nanny accidentally (?) drove her car into the RIVER SEINE.

-with the first two children dead, Isadora is so desperate for another that she BEGS A STRANGER to get her pregnant. This baby also DIES shortly after birth

- marries a poet, then divorces him soon after (this poet btw, Sergei Yesenin, had a bunch of affairs, got arrested a bunch of times, was accused of anti-semetism, and then committed suicide-by-hanging in a hotel room. Wild.)

- okay so at this point Isadora's going through serious depression. Her three biological children are dead and she feels like she's lost some of the Isadorables to old men, and so her performances are getting more scarce.

- her reputation is tarnished by being drunk in public, her financial struggles, and her now-scandalous love life. She spends the years working on her autobiography (which only gets published posthumously) supported by her few remaining friends and family

- here's the part you've all been waiting for: Isadora Duncan dies on September 14, 1927 at the age of 50. Her silk scarf gets caught in the wheel of the automobile she was riding in, right in front of the person who had given the scarf to her as a gift. Apparently, she was flung out out of the window and died on brutal impact with the ground, almost decapitated by the scarf.

On that note, thanks for reading so far!! Please note that all of this is sourced from her Wikipedia page as well as a few other Wikipedia pages. Here's a picture of her:

Rb if you read to the end ig

#a series of unfortunate events #asoue #averse #lemony snicket #the quagmire triplets #the quagmires #duncan quagmire #isadora quagmire #isadora duncan #dancing #daniel handler #dancer

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 1 year

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Helloooo 👋🏽 perhaps sdv and sde bachelors and farmer on a (deadly) jungle adventure? 🍃 🐍🦜

Hell yeah! Sorry for a long reply, was busy with other things.

It can be assumed that I had a lot of fun when I wrote the answer to this headcanon, because fuck me, this HC is huge 😅 I made different situations and maybe they moved away from the main question, apologize for that... I'm just get so hyped about request.

Anyway, thanks for your ask, dear anon!

✨SDV bachelors:✨

Elliott:

Actually, it was all Elliott's idea, as the long-haired writer wanted to collect material for his future novel. "And the best way to write about any adventures is to be on those adventures yourself! You will protect us, my love, I completely trust you!" The Farmer just sighed and left to gather supplies for the trip to Ginger Island.

Elliott is really lucky that his love also turned out to be his bodyguard and guide. While he enthusiastically looked at the wild limurs on the branches in the distance, the Farmer didn't take their eyes off him.

But as soon as they were distracted for a minute, Elliott, not noticing anyone around, wandered further into the depths of the jungle.

He carried on his monologue, still believing that the Farmer was nearby and listening to everything the writer told him. Until Elliott felt something touch his left shoulder.

"O ho ho, my love, that tickles! I certainly don't mind the attention, and if you want some rest, we caaaAAAAAAAAAA-!"

If there was any fauna nearby, then it instantly scattered away from Elliott's heart-rending scream when he saw a huge spider on his shoulder.

So he ran and screamed, until he collided head-on with... No, not with the Farmer, but with a pirate. The pirate, a little clumsily, shouted somewhere to the side: "Ahoy mate, we found yar lover"

Elliott's happiness knew no bounds when their Farmer emerged from the ferns. It turns out that Elliott wandered around Ginger Island for more than hour, and the Farmer decided to ask for help from fellow pirates to help with the search.

"Your friends are pirates? My love, why didn't you tell me sooner!"

Now they will both sit in a cozy cave until the evening, while the Farmer again beats the pirates in darts, while Elliott, already tipsy, listens to stories for a future book. You can even call it almost an autobiography!

(No spiders were harmed in this story)

Sebastian:

Sebby reread at home a magazine that he bought at the last amphibian exhibition, not forgetting to tell the Farmer cool facts about one or another type of frog.

The Farmer listened with interest to their partner until their eyes landed on a familiar sight of an amphibian.

"Oh, I saw these in the jungles of Ginger Island. They only come out when it rains, beautiful creatures, although very shy." "Wait, really?" "Yeah"

Sebastian just had a small collection of photos of frogs and newts, and asked his spouse if they could go there on a rainy day. The Farmer agreed, but warned Sebby to be around as it could be dangerous there.

Sebastian agreed to take weapons, elixirs, and he also read on the Internet how to behave when meeting with wild animals (he does not want to disturb wildlife much).

Luckily for them, there were a dozen of these frogs there. And the rain and dew on the amphibians adorned the picture (thanks that his phone and camera are waterproof).

Only Sebastian accidentally wandered deep into the jungle, and stumbled upon a lone tiger slime. Alas, he didn't have enough strength to defeat this monster, so he did what the Farmer told him in such cases - run.

Mr. Emo man did just that and, fortunately for him, found his spouse again. The Farmer kissed Sebby and promised that they would quickly deal with the slime. In the meantime, in order not to get wet in the rain, they told him to go to their house on the shore.

Only Sebastian wanted to go into the house, as he noticed a small entrance to the cave in the wall on the right. Why hadn't he seen this before? The cave was small, and its only inhabitant was... a huge anthropomorphic toad, sitting in a lotus position and saying that "long before, melons were much sweeter and bombo-big."

.....

Sebastian didn't seem to touch those poisonous frogs and photographed from a distance. Why he hallucinated then?

Until the Farmer went into the cave later, not finding Sebastian at home, and explained that it was kind of like... neighbor.

"Cool" is all that surprised Sebastian said, taking a picture of a huge toad.

Shane:

Fucking finally. A well deserved vacation with his partner.

Shane was so happy about the news about the vacation that he did not hear from the Farmer where exactly they were going and immediately agreed to the offer. It doesn't matter to him where they will rest, even in hell - the main thing is his partner and a pleasant pastime.

Shane realized only when they were in the jungle of Ginger Island, looking for "golden walnuts".

"Honey, but you agreed to travel with me for a little while and take a break from farm work." Shane would have liked to object, but he can't... Fuck.

Well, at least the Farmer gave him a good sword and don't stray far from Shane.

Although chicken man still managed to get lost several times in three palm trees. Like how??!?

The jungle is hot, but quite beautiful, and these flowers are so pret-

"Augh! Goddamn snakes!" "Shane, it's a liana, there are no snakes on Ginger island" "How the hell should I know about this?!"

He want to relax, and he was even more tired. Bluh...

While the Farmer wiped out the slimes, Shane struggled with the local dense vegetation. "Fucking ferns!"

Although in the evening, after a successful hunt for golden acorns ("Walnuts, Shane" "Same thing, doesn't fkng matter..."), they went to their house on the coast (when did his partner manage to buy real estate here??)

Delicious tropical dishes, pina colada (just a little sip), cool sea breeze and sunset - now this is a real vacation!

After they both returned, Shane offered to take another rest in the same way. Although the search for nuts was tiring and dangerous, it was fun.

Harvey:

"Honey, are you sure this is a good idea? There can be many diseases in the tropics, not to mention dangerous animals, mosquitoes, unknown plants to which we may be allergic, and..."

The Farmer was assured that they had already been in the depths of Ginger Island, and nothing serious had happened. They still insist that Harvey go with them "to show something interesting, but it's a surprise ;)" The poor doctor doesn't know how to react to this "surprise", but nevertheless agreed to the request of the Farmer.

A huge backpack stuffed with medicines, food supplies, sunscreen and mosquito spray - Harvey seemed to be preparing for a long journey. He also dressed like a spitting image of Indiana Jones - I mean wow, like a treasure hunter, honestly!

Surprisingly, Harvey reacts very calmly to danger in the jungle. It would seem that he would faint at the sight of an aggressive limur or poisonous insects, but he skillfully avoids danger and does not disturb the animals.

"Darling, we could travel the world like this in retirement" "As long as we have a full first aid kit and a supply of fresh water, I don't even mind. Just please, let's not go rock climbing, you know that I am afraid of heights..."

The Farmer and Harvey finally reached what the Farmer called a "surprise". The entrance to the cave - and they were inside a small space with five huge crystals. When Harvey wanted to ask what it was, Farmer suggested just "sit down and enjoy."

After half a minute, the eyes on the wall stone sculpture lit up, and the cave filled with a ringing melody emanating from bright colored crystals. The melody was... so beautiful. It was the first time Harvey had heard the tune, and at the same time, he could have sworn it sounded like the lullaby her mother used to sing to him when he was a child. Calming, beautiful, and with the sounds of nature outside, it created such a magical atmosphere.

Harvey saw the Farmer smiling at him. The doctor gave Farmer the same sincere smile, took their hand, and in silence they continued to listen to the wonderful melody.

Sam:

It was supposed to be a normal day at the resort, with no misadventures for the famous Pelican Town A.S.S. trinity and Farmer. And everything was relatively calm until, while playing frisbee, Sam accidentally threw the frisbee somewhere in the direction of tall palm trees and dense vegetation. Sam felt sorry for the new frisbee, and he didn’t want to litter anywhere, so he quickly ran towards the jungle in search of the item.

Sam was already far away, and didn't hear the calls of his partner Farmer, completely immersed in the search for the Frisbee. The young guitarist only experienced reality when he tripped over a rock and tumbled down the hill into a small pit.

Fortunately, Sam only escaped with scratches, but realized that he could not get out of the ill-fated pit. Therefore, he had no choice but to call for help from his spouse and friends.

"Sammy, are you okay?" "Yep baby, I'm fine" Sam felt a little guilty when he heard Farmer's worried voice. And why the hell did he go into the jungle for that stupid frisbee!

"The walls are slippery, I can't climb up on my own. Babe, can you throw off some rope?" The Farmer pondered Sam's words for half a minute until they noticed a parrot sitting next to them. "I have a better idea." With that, the Farmer smiled and took out some golden walnuts from their pocket, which they promptly gave to the parrot.

The feathered friend accepted the treat, and at the same moment flew into the air, calling its brethren to the pit. The musician did not even have time to be surprised when he felt that he was enveloped in a loud and feathery dark cloud - and at the same instant he was on the surface next to his partner.

Sam sat there in mute shock, covered in scratches and dirt and feathers, as the Farmer examined him for any injuries.

"Cupcake, are you like a parrots whisperer?" "Something like that ;)" "Wow... If I tell Sebby and Abby about what happened, they won't believe it..."

At the same moment, the frisbee fell next to him, and the parrot that dropped a plastic object nearby shouted something merrily in bird language. The Farmer nodded their head in gratitude, and all the parrots flew off somewhere into the sky, beyond the dense jungle.

Alex:

Alex has long wanted to start reading books and catch up in his youth. One of these books, which he found on the bookshelf (now his, too) of the farm, had drawings of exotic animals on it and in large capital letters: "Extreme Survival Primer."

He knew that the Farmer often went on trips, doing hunting monsters and protecting people when they weren't farming, so books like this could help a little to navigate in an unfamiliar environment. However, he also wanted to be in such a situation so that he knew what to be prepared for.

"Honey, I'm going to have an unusual request" "Yes, dear? What is it?"

The Farmer listened to Alex with all seriousness, and agreed to travel together to Ginger Island to be his guide for a day. They are very responsible for the safety of the athlete, although Alex himself grumbles a little and says that "he is not so helpless."

But once in the thick of the jungle, Alex was nevertheless grateful to the Farmer for the safety rules and the supply of healing elixirs: the athlete skillfully bypassed suspicious spiders and frogs, and when meeting with the slime, he was able to give a worthy rebuff with the Farmer.

"Hell yeah, that's my boy! Maybe Marlon will also accept you in the Adventurer's Guild as well!" Alex blushed at such praise, but tried not to show his partner how flattered he was. It didn't work out, the Farmer knows him too well.

It was a fun time and a good experience for him. Only now Alex worries about the Farmer even more when he sees at least one scratch on the face of his loved one. "It needs to be treated, because dirt can get into wound, and then infection, I read that such diseases are very common in the tropics, and also..."

Not that the Farmer would be against the protective and caring Alex, quite the contrary. But the athlete is now like a mother hen. The Farmer still loves him though :D

✨SVE bachelors:✨

Victor:

Victor and his mother have traveled to various islands throughout the Ferngill Republic, so he was delighted at the offer of the Farmer to relax together in his own house on the beach of Ginger Island. It will be so romantic! "Oh, I need to get a bottle of red wine, and ingredients for spaghetti. Is there somewhere to cook it? Great! I'll make dinner for two for us! and I also need to take a couple of books and-" "Victor, my soul, we're going there for a couple of days"

The first day was very romantic and wonderful. Just like in those advertisements for tourist packages, but here everything was real and beautiful: the sea, a colorful sunset, dinner for two, clinking glasses of wine, a beloved partner... What can I say, Victor is still a hopeless romantic.

The next day, early in the morning, when Victor woke up before the Farmer, he decided not to wake them and take a walk on the sandy shore.

But Victor's curiosity and the instinct of self-preservation, a little blunted after a sleep, led him further to the west of the island. He became interested in what kind of small hut the shore stands in general, and also to examine the wreckage of the ship.

But at the last moment, the poor fellow noticed how a tiger slime was quickly approaching him, with squelching sounds. The monster took him by surprise and Victor was forced to climb the stairs, deep into the jungle, only to realize that he had landed on a whole nest of tiger slimes!

Before he could do anything, a strange circle of symbols formed around him, and the slimes immediately crawled away. "It's pretty dangerous to wander around Ginger Island alone and unarmed. Fortunately, I was there at the right time." Victor only opened his mouth and made a lowing sound when he saw a pink-haired man in front of him. "You must be Victor, right? Farmer's partner? They talked a lot about you on our joint expeditions."

Expeditions, a sword, a blue cloak... Click!

"Are you... an adventurer? And not just an adventurer, but a member of The First Slash clan?!" Victor forgot that recently he was in mortal danger, because he recognized this man! Second in command of the First Slash clan!

He had already managed to ask a thousand questions to the surprised Lance about the life of adventurers and about the clan itself, until the Farmers ran up to them, ready to destroy everything that even dares to harm Victor. What a surprise it was when they discovered their unharmed spouse and fellow adventurer.

Well, at least it ended well. And Victor is generally delighted with such adventures. Adventurer from the First Slash clan! "Victor, are you just squeak?"

Magnus:

Magnus recently spoke with The First Slash clan's mage, and they brought up the subject of testing magical barriers against alien magic on part of Ginger Island, as after the Farmer's activities and the help of parrots, the coast has become a resort now, regularly visited by the inhabitants of Pelican Town. The safety of people is the responsibility of wizards and witches, so someone has to take care of this.

The members of The First Slash, for some important reason, cannot now go on patrol and set up a barrier, so the First Slash mage asked for the help of Rasmodius, as an experienced wizard, and the Farmer, as a talented and gifted adventurer. To which both Magnus and the Farmer agreed to help their colleagues.

Since the Farmer had already combed the whole Ginger Island and learned the area, Magnus relied on them as a guide. They need to go to different parts of the island so that the wizard casts a spell and fixes the barrier.

The first part was right in the heart of the jungle, and Magnus cursed constantly as exotic plants clung to his cloak, already soiled in the local clay and mud. Wild animals and insects did not cause him any panic: a snap of his fingers - and all the dangerous fauna galloped away. This is much better and humane than trying to harm nature.

Then they went west, closer to the old ruins of the sunken ship. The tiger slimes were already waiting for unfortunate prey, but they themselves became prey for the Farmer's sword and Magnus' spells. Now Magnus is also smeared with slime, what a bad luck.

"Razzy, do you have the concept of 'clean things' spells" "Actually, there are as many as 5, but we haven't finished the expedition yet, so... Are you calling me Razzy again? I swear, you and Camilla... I will stop talking to her, and I will divorce you altogether" "You love me too much :D" "Unfortunately, I am"

Now, the barrier is set, it will hold for several seasons. Magnus finally casts a cleansing spell - and now he and all of his robes are clean. He even used it on his spouse (so they don't waste time swimming in the sea, especially since the water is salty there!)

"I'm surprised how calmly you handled wild snakes. Although they are not poisonous, but still very impressive" "Believe me, my darling, I sometimes met such "snakes" among colleagues in the Ministry of Magic that these reptiles on the island are harmless creatures."

A job well done and a lot of praise from his partner - Magnus' trip to the jungle was a success!

Lance:

Joint patrols on Ginger Island are pretty rare for Lance. Well, actually not like that, he and the Farmer often spend time together, but usually the patrolling on this particular island are done one by one. Love, family - this is important, but no one released from the duties of the adventurer. Thankless job, indeed.

Just on this day, when Lance was ready to sail to Ginger Island, the Farmer was told that they wanted to go with him, collect some ginger and edible ferns. Lance is not against the company, especially since it is his partner.

However, he warned his love to take supplies of elixirs and keep the sword at the ready, because tiger slimes live in some parts of the island.

Although the heat and humidity were unbearable at noon, duties are duties, and two adventurers must fulfill them.

After all, Lance was right when he told them both to be on the lookout - several magma sprites crawled out from a huge cave in the volcano, which immediately attacked Lance and the Farmer. The sounds of steel rang out, the local limurs and monkeys raised a roar, but it all ended as quickly as it began - Lance and the Farmer stood in a fighting pose, and the ashes from magma sprites lay under their feet.

“Jolyne was right, the barrier had weakened. We should warn our mage to take care of it.” Lance slid his sword back into its sheath. "Well, my love, we still have time and we can devote ourselves to gathering the ginger roots you spoke about earlier."

Before you started looking for roots, Lance recommended that he cast an invisibility spell on the two of them. "We are unlikely to meet more dangerous monsters in the depths of the jungle, but I would not like to disturb the local fauna too much." The Farmer agreed with him, and they both began gathering.

Naturally, this was accompanied by constant conversations about nature on the island in general, theories about where the dwarves on the volcano came from, and many other topics.

Both of them were in no hurry: after all, invisibility allows you not to disturb the animals and do research in peace. The main thing is not to fall into the pit or step on the snake.

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sapphicbookclub · 1 year

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Just Might Work by Katia Rose

Dane Marner’s aunt is obsessed with soul mates. As a self-proclaimed ‘cosmically guided matchmaker,’ she’s played every card in the deck trying to set Dane up with the perfect match she’s found. The problem? The ‘perfect’ match is Evangeline Hudson.

Dane and Evangeline rent rooms in Dane’s eccentric aunt’s house, but that’s where their similarities end. Dane is a drifter who freewheels from one odd job to the next, and Evangeline is an overachieving undergrad with a ten year plan so detailed it reads like an autobiography.

The two can’t even agree on a laundry schedule without feuding, but when Dane’s aunt reveals new tenants ready to take over the lease, they realize they’ll need to play some cards of their own to keep the beautiful old house they both love.

Their plan is simple: fake falling for each other long enough to get some soul mate sympathy—and a lease renewal. A few lingering glances, some ‘accidental’ touches, maybe some well-timed tiptoeing into each other’s rooms late at night... It’s a stretch, but it just might work.

Only said tiptoeing starts to heat the house up faster than they can stop it. As their plan begins peeling back the layers between them to reveal more similarities and way more feelings than either expected to find, Dane and Evangeline are forced to toe the line between real and fake—and decide which side they’re brave enough to stand on.

Genres: contemporary, romance

Get the book from Blackwell's with free shipping here!

#sapphic books #lgbt books #wlw books #booklr #book recs #contemporary

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midnightpink · 4 months

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Blue Spring (TV Series 2005-2007)

read it here on ao3

Gojo Catoru ✔ @gojosatoru they want me to write an autobiography at age 33 because they think i’m going to die young lmao

Award-winning famous actor, one-time singer/songwriter, and resident heartthrob Gojo Satoru has been tasked with writing himself an autobiography. In an effort to get accurate information from the past, he reaches out and accidentally reconnects with a co-star he hasn't seen in 15 years—the love of his life, Geto Suguru.

by: one_step_closer_to_death

Words: 12,543, Chapters: 2/4, Language: English

Fandom: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Gojo Satoru, Getou Suguru, Jujutsu Kaisen Ensemble

Relationship: Getou Suguru/Gojo Satoru, Gojo Satoru & Ieiri Shoko

Additional Tags: Social Media, POV Outsider, Coming Out, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Actors, Gojo Satoru is Whipped, Getting Back Together, soulmates vibes, Actor Gojo Satoru, Music Producer Getou Suguru, 15 years of yearning on both sides, Chatting & Messaging, Swearing, Homophobia, Additional Warnings Apply, Mutual Pining, Making Out, Light Angst

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #getou suguru #ieri shoko #satosugu #stsg #gojo x geto #actor au #jjk actor au #fic rec

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historyandarthijinks · 1 year

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Historical People: Red Baron

The Red Baron, Manfred von Richthofen, was a famous ace pilot during WW1 who fought in the air force of the German Empire. Despite Richthofen fighting for the offensive military he is hailed a war hero, and good man to this day.

Manfred von Richthofen was born in Prussia, which was once it’s own nation, but then a unified part of the German Empire. Now a days this territory of land is in modern day Poland. He born into an aristocratic family making him a Freiherr which more loosely translates to what we would call a baron.

In his early life Richthofen showed a lot of talent in many different activities. This included hunting, horse back riding, school, and gymnastics. He’d enter military school at the age of 11.

Richtofen would write, and like a lot. He already wrote one of his own autobiographies before his death in war. In it he writes about his childhood disappointment about becoming a cadet in military school, stating that his father “wished it” of him.

Richthofen was a fan of risky tricks. Most notably in his autobiography he wrote that a friend and him climbed the steeple of Wahlstatt using the lightning conductor. He had tied his handkerchief at the top, and was delighted to see 10 years later with his brother, it still flittering in the wind.

WW1 began, being known at the time as the great war, and the worst war that man had ever seen. It took the world by storm, and especially Europe. Millions of young of men, no matter how they felt, were forced to the front lines on all sides. That included the German Empire, who is credited as one of the major aggressors in the war.

Richthofen served on both western and eastern fronts as a cavalry reconnaissance officer. Trench warfare had made cavalry units mostly useless, so he’d find his regiment turned into dispatch runners and telephone field operators. This upset him greatly.

The baron became incredibly interested in the German Air Force after getting to behold one of their planes himself. He decided to transfer and apply to become part of the Imperial German Air Service. It’s reported that he wrote, “I have not gone to war in order to collect cheese and eggs.”. His transfer was granted.

His first time ever riding in a plane changed Richthofen’s life for both better and eventually worse. The feeling of being above the world in the flying machine, even as a passenger, was thrilling and breathtaking. Although very nervous to fly on his own, his first ever time as a pilot during training proved to himself that this was where he was meant to be. His own flying mentor, Boelcke would collide accidentally with another plane in battle and die.

Richthofen’s first ever confirmed kill happened to his rival, and British ace, Lanoe Hawker. Richthofen referred to Lanoe as the British Boelcke. This fight would cause Richthofen to begin searching for faster planes that suited his own flying style. From then on his victories skyrocketed. By the end of the war he would be credited with downing 80 planes. The most he ever took out in one day was 22.

Richthofen became the Red Baron, and his crew the flying circus, after he had added a red painting motif to the planes he flew. Most notably the Fokker Dr I. He went by many variations of the name Red Baron, including Der rote Kampflieeger, Le Petite Rouge, and Red Pilot. He became a commander of his own flight crew. His crew became known as the flying circus when they all followed in his footsteps painting their own planes a various amount of bright colors.

Richthofen became a propagandist for the Imperial German Military, a symbol of moral, and eventually part of the cult that was hero-worship during the world wars. However in his own writings and recorded behaviors, the war was certaintly something he didn’t enjoy or endorse.

During the war his autobiography was published with heavy signs of temperament and censorship. Lines were often added to make him seem even more blood thirsty and pro-war than he actually was. English translations did the opposite as well, adding lines making him even more remorseful for the war. However he truly did show signs of both, more so a transition over time, from young war hero to equally young regretful soldier.

He even began to hate his own book before his death, stating that he’s changed. There was nothing he could do though, he was now a legend among both sides. Special rewards and calls to bring him down from Allied forces were spread around British and French Air Forces. It didn’t help that he himself shared a strong sense of honor towards his fellow pilots, calling the Englishmen his friends.

He even would even speak to two that he downed without killing. He found the situation comical as he had to land due to last minute engine problem. He said they landed perfectly despite being on fire, while he ended up in the barbwire of his own trenches and flipped his plane. The honor was shared among the Englishmen and other Allied pilots in return.

Richthofen was obsessed with downings. Originally he had a jeweler make him a silver cup per each person, which he would decorate his dashboard with. But the jeweler started to say no due a shortage of silver. After that the Red Baron would track down his downed opponents and pluck a souvenir from their plane. One his most notable being a plane engine he had turned into a chandelier.

The soldier would have a major head injury which changed a lot about him in the war, most notably making flight very migraine inducing and difficult to focus on doing. The war itself was also taking a great toll on him, especially in both his physical and mental health. Other sighted his face as becoming sunken. His family noted he was growing very no-nonsense and quiet. He himself wrote of his growing hatred to the war.

His mother mother had a diary of her own in which she wrote about her son. She wrote, “I think he has seen death too often.”. One evening while he showed her pictures from his time in Russia, she began asking about the other men in the photo. She wrote he became harsh with her, stating that all where dead except him. She knew to stop asking. She wrote that his final visit with her before his death was like talking to a ghost.

Other of his revealed writings, including a diary unveiled that he began to hate himself truly. He wrote about depression, wanting to lock himself up in a room and never seeing another person ever again, about debating his future death. He talked frequently about how awful he felt after every battle now. There was no longer pride in his flight, the deaths began to weigh on him, and his head was truly hurting.

All of this lead to Richthofen’s death at age 25 in the war. Although being chased down by planes the Red Baron wasn’t knocked out of the sky by them, but AA instead, or at least that was most probably. There are several candidates about who dealt the killing blow, but no one truly knows for sure. Wilfred May was the pilot chasing after him that day, or really the Red Baron pursuing him. Arthur Brown, Cedric Popkin, and W.J. Evans were the AA on the ground that day trying to protect May. There are other variations of who killed him though, including pilots in the air.

Brown is overall credited with the kill, but to be honest as much the Englishmen wanted him dead, they were still disappointed to see him actually so. Richthofen had been shoot through the side, the .303 exited his chest, killing him within minutes. Richthofen managed to land his plane although very roughly, breaking his nose, fracturing his jaw, and beating up his face. Englishmen rushed to his plane to hear his apparent final words, “Kaput.”

There is still an air of mystery to his death has that following week, and especially that day Richthofen was flying out of character. The ground men reported him being unusually low and flying recklessly, going much farther into friendly air space than stratigically okay. This all even goes against his own words where he advocated for tactics and smoothness.

Richthofen is thought to have been suffering from CSR (Cumulative Combat Stres), and he wasn’t the only ace pilot at the time to have this problem. He also was suffering from his head trauma awfully, and was likely experiencing target fixation. Some even speculate, especially due to his writing and tone, he may have wanted to be shot down that day. He was noted to be flying extremely fast on top of everything.

Major David Blake organised Richthofen’s military funeral when the Allied forces found him. They could do nothing to stop souvenir scavengers from tearing the Red Baron’s plane apart though. He would have a few more funerals as his body was moved back home, and when he was held as a war hero. He received many awards. His grave is now in Südfriedhof in Wiesbaden.

The Red Baron became a pop culture icon among both sides, becoming the face of Ace pilots. Like most pilots or snipers his kill count and victories were questioned. This time however it’s more likely all his victories were true and that he more so had more unconfirmed kills under his belt.

#history #german empire #ace pilots #ace pilot #red baron #german history #ww1 #air force #military history #historical people #war hero #war heroes #military #german military #manfred von richtofen #famous people #long post #educational post

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awkwardplant · 4 months

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2023 Reads

This year I've read 24 books - I had only planned to read one book per month, given that I've barely read since leaving highschool. But my old bookworm self is re-emerging! As I write this, I'm on my 25th lol.

I decided at the start of the year that I wanted to try an read a wide variety of genres, which I did. Didn't love everything I read, but such is life. Below are all the titles and my terrible attempts to summarise the plots. The ones with a heart were my favourites and ones I highly reccommend.

My full list in order:

No Destination by Satish Kumar

Autobiography of the life of a pilgrim who left his family at 9 years old to become a Jain monk, then left that to become an activist and walk across continents.

Not the kind of life story you hear everyday, that's for sure.

How to Invent Everything by Ryan North

(Nonfiction) An in depth guide for the stranded time traveller that needs to recreate modern technology from scratch.

Funny, easy to understand, and bitesized sections that can be read when you've got a spare 5 mins.

Moral Compass by Danielle Steel

A girl who experiences sexual assault while at a private school that newly became co-ed, and the resulting court case/investigation into what happened.

Personally I felt this read like a case-study more than a story, and the message was very heavyhanded.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero ❤

A horror comedy about a group of adults that used to be sleuths in their teens reunite to solve a case that everyone thinks has been wrapped up.

This was recommended to me by a librarian that said it was like "if the scooby doo gang all had trauma and fought eldritch beings" which perfectly summed it up. Also, if you shipped Velma and Daphne... you'll enjoy this book 👀 The writer randomly switches to a script-like format at times, some people hate that but I personally like when an author does whatever the fuck, just because he can. Delicious dark humour.

The Rain Heron by Robbie Arnott ❤

About a woman who lives alone in the mountains in a country devastated by a coup, and is sought out by a soldier in order to find the mythical Rain Heron.

Nice prose and descriptions, and the other character's pov chapters have some great suspense.

The Mark and The Void by Paul Murray

An office worker meets a novellist who wants to write about his life.

I was really into the first half of the story, but the second half became boring as the plot stagnated

Resistance by Samit Basu

People have superpowers corresponding to their innermost desires, and we follow the life of a billionaire who is the leader of a mecha group and the lives of their enemies.

I accidentally picked this up at the library, not realizing it was a sequal to Turbulence, but it read okay on it's own. You'd like this if you're into My Hero Academia or other shounen anime.

Notes from the Burning Age by Claire North ❤

Set in the distant future after an apocalypse, an archivist is forced to translate documents from the "burning age" for the Brotherhood

I still think about this story daily. The writing has an interesting style and rhythm and the plot is packed with intriguing developments

The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins ❤

There's a library with the secrets to the universe, and several people, called Pelapi, grew up learning a unique catalogue of skills using its books, taught by Father, who might be God? But he's gone missing lately.

If you like The Umbrella Academy you'd like this. Like Meddling Kids, it's also dark and funny.

The People we Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry

A journalist and her old friend go on holiday in a last attempt to rekindle their friendship.

I found this book on a train, then left it on another. Hopefully it got a new home! The story was sweet, especially the ending where the journalist spent some time on herself.

It's Kind of a Funny story by Ned Vizzini

A teenage boy suffers a mental breakdown and spends a week in a psychiatric ward.

Given to me by a family member, I am now a bit concerned for her. It has a happy ending, at least. There was a transphobic depiction of a character that was mentioned in the blurb, but she doesn't even stay for the whole story.

The Darkness Knows by Arnaldur Indridason

A body is found on a mountain in Iceland, reopening a cold case from 30 years ago, bringing the detective in charge of it out of retirement.

The prose isn't great in this due to a poor translation. The plot/characters are a bit cliche but not too bad overall. The ending was unexpected yet also expected in the best way?

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree ❤

Cosy fantasy about an orc who retires from adventuring to open a coffee shop/cafe.

Bought this after seeing it recommended for people that like Stardew Valley. I liked the amount of detail that went into just building the shop. The prose is simple, but I find that fits the main character, Viv, well, and there were some really good lines/messages in the story. I have adopted Thimble.

Leonard and Hungry Paul by Ronan Hession

Two unremarkable irish men consider their lives and place in the universe.

This would've been one of my favourites had it not focused so much on Paul's sister's wedding. The book should've been called Leonard, Hungry Paul, and Grace. I did enjoy the conversations in this book, and the attention to the mundane.

Summer Sons by Lee Mandelo

Southern Gothic queer supernatural story about a college student trying to solve the case of his best friend's death, while being haunted by Revenants.

This took me ages to read because it was so emotionally heavy and the plot moved slowly. Like it had some incredibly good prose and relationship dynamics, but I couldn't force myself to read it again.

Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers

Solar punk story about a (nonbinary!) person who suddenly switches jobs to become a tea monk, then leaves that to visit a hermitage and meets a robot along the way.

This is a short book because the sequel is the second half of the story. £13-17.99 seems too expensive for half a book. It was recommended as a cosy fantasy but the MC is existentially unhappy with their life for most of it, so the story doesn't quite fit in that category.

A Cosmology of Monsters by Shaun Hamill ❤

Noah, the youngest child of his family, narrates the life of his parents: a bookish mother and a Lovecraft-horror lover father, and the monsters they all encounter

Phenomenal prose, characters, themes, and plot. Lots of psychological trauma and inner demons.

Those People Next Door by Kia Abdullah ❤

A family moves into a suburb and a war begins between them and the neighbours after he knocks down their "black lives matter" banner.

Oh boy, it sure escalates to become way out of hand. It has a mystery element to it which I enjoyed trying to figure out. Lots of tension between plot points. The last line! Agh!!

The Fall by Louise Jensen

A girl falls off a bridge and the family/police try to uncover who pushed her, but instead uncover secrets about the family.

There were some parts that didn't make sense to me, and there was a lot of characters to keep track of. Not a bad book but it just didn't have that extra spark.

Bookshops and Bonedust by Travis Baldree

Prequel to Legends and Lattes (but can be read on its own) where Viv has recently started adventuring but has to recover from an injury before she can return to her group. She helps out at a bookshop and gets caught up with a necromancer.

Preferred the first book as it felt cosier, but the action in this book is fun too.

Days at the Morisaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa

A woman leaves her office job after a breakup to live above her uncle's bookshop and helps out, but she hates books.

Too short for my liking, and the main character was difficult to connect to and the relationships/conversations seemed shallow. the second half of the story centres on the uncle's wife and while it had a valuable lesson it just wasn't as good to read.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

Childhood friends meet again in college and design a game together, which changes their lives/careers.

This was not a terrible book, but it did have some strange descriptions, and the author doesn't understand how the game industry works.

The Hike by Lucy Clarke

4 women who have been friends since highschool go to Norway to climb Mount Blajfell, but they are not prepared for the trek

I felt this had some cliches, but a pretty decent suspense novel

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

10 people are invited to Soldier Island for various reasons, only to find they all have one thing in common... murder.

I was theorizing like crazy during this, trying to guess whodunnit. I felt like the reveal was a bit disappointing because how on earth was anyone meant to guess that??

Library books: 9

Given to me: 5

Favourites: 7

If you have any recs for me I'd love to know, just message me!

#book review #bookblr #reading #books #novels #book recommendations #book reccs #lbrary #book list #literature #fiction

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numetalpuppygirl · 8 months

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sos

my number one skill is never shutting the fuck up ever and indeed in many circumstances it's more of a curse than a blessing because i genuinely can't control it for the most part but it does come in handy including throughout the entirety of my academic experience as well as just about every desk job i've ever had because it means i can fill a lot of space with a vast quantity of words that scan with a great deal of clarity and cohesion despite ultimately saying very little over the course of that volume. the result of this is that those who are reviewing my writing, which are usually people with varying degrees of power over my continued success, scan the content i've generated and deem it to be of high quality because everything seems well-thought out and competently composed and so they give it an instant pass, at least as long as they aren't paying too much attention, which - spoiler alert! - pretty much nobody ever is. they've all got their own shit to worry about, things that matter far more to them than whether or not you ended a sentence with a preposition in your 10-page report for a course that they're already sick of. now, what i did just there was a little trick where i actually violated my own natural cadence and patterns of writing in order to include a little gag! in the sentence where i mention the concept of ending a sentence with a preposition, i did just that; the sentence ended with "of." but for me, i normally would have phrased that sentence as follows: "they've all got their own shit to worry about, things that matter far more to them than whether or not you ended a sentence with a preposition in your 10-page report for a course that they're already sick of teaching." if this were actually a report with a word count minimum, obviously i would include that final word at the end of the sentence, because getting all cute and meta with the way i phrase things isn't worth losing that extra word of length. but in projects where the minimum requirements are more lax, i find it's helpful for my motivation to allow myself to have a little bit of genuine fun with it and liven the place up some. of course, that only applies if you're like me and you're a massive nerd who has fun doing that sort of thing, but i would say that there's a pretty decent chance that is true about you, seeing as how you're on tumblr dot com, a website that has an observably quite high population of huge nerds, and also you're presumably following me, which means you've identified with my nerd self enough to choose to see more of my blog. for what it's worth to you, my external keyboard seemingly ran out of battery several sentences ago, which is really kind of funny when you think about it. what an ironic time for that to happen, as i'm discussing and demonstrating my ability to type forever and ever! this is the first time i've had the battery in this keyboard die, so it must have had fresh ones in at the time i got it. i wouldn't know for sure, because i got it secondhand from someone i know who was clearing out some old inventory from their workplace's office building. that's where i got my big external monitor, as well. i really like tech appliances but honestly i really don't know much about them, that was never my area of expertise. as is likely obvious from this post alone, my passions have always remained more with the humanities. good god i have to stop now before i give you my whole fucking autobiography but i think by now i've sufficiently proven my point - i could easily do this until the end of time.

i have to create a new block now because of tumblr's character-per-block limitation. the one last thing i'll tell you is that, since i'm now typing on my laptop's keyboard which is at a somewhat awkward angle from me, my wrists are in danger of mucking with the trackpad, and just a few moments ago i accidentally selected the entire wall of text i've typed here and replaced it with what i was continuing to type. so thank goodness for the tumblr post editor's ability to undo, or else nobody ever would have seen this very intellectual and not at all frivolous and annoying post that i've generated here. if you actually read all of this, you're a huge freak and i'm proposing to you right now.

#*char noises*

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