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#all my money would go in that jar XD
letssgolesbians · 1 year
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a collection of eco friendly lifestyle ideas + swaps from various sources around the web:
reusable makeup remover wipes/cotton rounds - i use these and they’re way softer on the skin and bigger so you can use multiple times before washing either in sink or with a laundry load.
cutting products open when they are almost finished - will acc save a lot of money and means that even if buying sustainably is inaccessible to you (valid!) you can make products last for longer
freeze your overripe fruits for smoothies - all tastes the same, means you can make ur own cute lil smoothie mixes and they are often thicker!!
wash dry and reuse plastic bags - they’re almost unavoidable, but you can reuse them easily (i do this for my lunch!)
buy slow fashion - to some this might be too pricey which is totally fine!! but for my uk ppl: run and fly, lucy and yak, and fat face all look rly good and have fun clothing.
eat plant based food - you don’t have to be a vegetarian, you can do meat free monday or just choose the mcplant over a normal burger at maccies! quorn has acc aamzing chicken nuggets and often supermarkets have vegetarian aisles!
support your local farmers market - they often do not wax their apples and you will actually be able to support local businesses instead of big corporations! they also are just fun to go to :)
use a bar dish soap and a bamboo brush
to wash your body, buy bar soap and a net type pouch for it to be able to save it and exfoliate, often less expensive and not packaged in plastic, more scents or you can even make your own!! i’ve heard black african soap is rly good!
use a recycled plastic toothbrush over a normal one - you can use bamboo, but for me bc of sensory issues i can’t, so this is a nice compromise!
use beeswax wraps for food instead of clingfilm - they are more sticky and thick so accessible for people with motor issues (maybe, correct me if i’m wrong but less delicate?) and they have fun patterns and are available from lots of small businesses
instead of liquid hand soap, either use a bar soap or my preference would be a glass pump bottle and tablets that you can dissolve as i find bar soap hard to handle, but bar soap you can keep in tins!
use a reusable water bottle - you can fill them with fizzy drinks or energy drinks, there’s no rules against this!! they keep your drink cold and are sturdier then plastic, and definitely cheaper!! you can also draw on some or stick stickers on to make them more ‘you’!
use cloth napkins and ‘unpaper’ towels instead of rolls of paper towels
buy in bulk
use an ice tray or machine instead of buying big bags from the store - less heavy definitely, and you can add fruits and make ice pops with trays!!
use a refillable or natural deodorant- i use wild (uk ppl!!) and it smells nice, the refills are easy and come in paper and i have a rly cute metal holder!!
you can get reusable cupcake papers - esp for my ppl who like the lick the bottom, they won’t fall apart XD!
use a kindle - reduces the amount of paper books you have to buy, easily transportable, can lend books out to ppl and cheaper books!
bring your own lunch - esp if ur a picky eater like me, i often bring a cheese sandwich and some crisps places so i’m not stuck not eating or choking down food i don’t like and leaving leftovers, also means you can use your own plastic tupperwares instead of store bought single use things lol
grow your own things - i used to grow strawberries as a child and it was surprisingly easily, some ideas are bottle tower gardens and a kitchen herb gardens, you can also grow cat grass and catnip for all my cat parents out there :)
collect rainwater for your plants - just keep a mason jar in your backyard if you have one, or journey out when it’s raining and fill a jar, will last you a bit!!
that’s all i have for now but feel free to add more!!
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boringbones · 7 months
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I've always supported creators financially, who give us the choice. I would rather donate to someone who is going to release their content for free, regardless, but I can still send them a little something as a thank you. They aren't FORCING me to cough out my hard earned money for a zip file. Patreon in this sense, is the modern tip jar. For just $1-$5 a month, I can say thank you. Not many people are using paypal, and cashapp is a bit too personal for me. Patreon is a secure process. $1-$5 isn't breaking my bank, and if I don't like the content or see you're not as active anymore I can easily cancel my subscription. This is a safety net for both the creator and the consumer. Not only that, but we as the consumer can report creators who aren't following EA guidelines, or stealing meshes and ideas, that person gets their IP banned, and wouldn't be able to make money on Patreon again. Of course, if the creator refutes the claims with Patreon and shows proof of their work or their deadlines, they can get their account back. So again, creator and consumer have equal power in this scenario. I very much love your content, and your positivity, keep going, we are rooting for you from the bleachers.
It's fair, I also feel more comfortable with Patreon because it has these benefits than with Ko-Fi, but mainly because of the practicality. Despite having a ko-fi account I never stopped to sit down and fully understand how it works (I should xD)
As you mentioned, Patreon is safe, flexible and adaptable. As someone who has already supported and supports other creators, I love knowing that I can maintain or withdraw my support at any time, whether it's related to the creator's content or my personal commitments this month, without embarrassment on either side.
As you mentioned, 1 to 5 dollars for most people (especially those who spend in dollars) is a tip, however, for creators, this amount often pays for the internet, the electricity bill, in some cases it helps with half the rent. Sitting down and creating has a cost, no matter how much we may say "Ah, but I don't spend anything".
In reality, we all spend, the difference is that these amounts are diluted in our daily lives so we almost never pay attention to them. In short, support makes all the difference and I have no doubt that a creator who is receiving a single support in recognition of their work is a much more inspired creator than the opposite.
Of course there is commitment when there is support, but this exists in all professions and is part of human life in society. I like to think that support is what makes me commit to my audience to keep working even when I have no energy or my hands are hurt. It involves honoring the investment of the person on the other side who chose to believe in your work
Thank you very much by the way!! I'm happy to have the support of all of you, and for being received with such kind words throughout the day today!!
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megan-loves-surveys · 20 days
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This has been a busy week.
What is something you want but can’t afford to buy? Travel. It's far too pricey to fly at the moment.
What is something you want but aren’t sure if you should splurge on it? Dunno.
Do you prefer ham or turkey with your stuffing and mashed potatoes? I've never had turkey, so ham.
Do you usually eat wheat bread or white bread, or are you gluten-free? Wheat, I barely ever eat white bread.
What type of church do you like the most, if any? None.
Was anyone rude to you today? Not so far.
Which lost friend do you most wish you could be friends with again? Zoe, but she passed away so it'll never happen :(
Have you ever had a friend turn against you? Yes.
What is your town known for? Being the biggest city in NZ, boats etc.
Do you live in the town you grew up in? Yes, but not the same suburb anymore.
What was that good year that you had? 2016 was amazing - I did so much that year. I went to the USA twice for Wrestlemania and Summerslam, I went to a couple of concerts, I saw WWE in NZ, I moved house etc.
Did you make a memory jar for this year? If so, is it full? I don't know what that is.
Do you want to make a memory jar for next year? No.
Are you optimistic? Yes.
Do you think people ask too nosy questions? (in real life) Sometimes.
Do you think you would be happier if you had more money? Definitely. They say money doesn't buy happiness, but that ain't true.
Who’s youtube channel would you like to guest star on? None.
What was the last thing you purchased off of Etsy? Nothing.
What is something currently on your wishlist from Etsy? -
Is there a Target near you? No.
Which is closest to you: Target, Walmart, Kmart, or Meijer? We only have Kmart, lol.
Where did your Christmas tree come from? We have a fake one... I think it's from The Warehouse xD
Would you rather be an elf or a reindeer? Why? Elf lol.
Who do you go to when you’re lonely? Or what do you do when you’re lonely? Hmm.
Are you alone? No.
Are you ok? Yes.
What color is your favorite sweater? Black.
Name 10 things that are on your Christmas list this year. It's March, it's too early xD
Silver or gold? Silver.
What do you dislike about the house you live in? The neighbours can be annoying.
Do you prefer iced tea or hot tea? Neither, I don't like tea at all.
Is there a gas station near your house? When was the last time you went? Yes, there's one like 2 mins walk away. I last went there a few weeks ago to grab some Sprite for mixers.
How do you feel right now? What do you think has contributed to that? I'm really good. I'm just chilling today after a really busy week.
Do you watch a movie at least once a week? No.
What’s your favourite movie genre? Action or comedy.
Have you ever been clubbing? Did you have fun? Oh yeah! I used to go loads back in the day when I was 20, 21, 22. It was always fun.
What were you doing in the year 2013? That was the year I started traveling more - I went to the USA for the first time that April for Wrestlemania, then I went again in August cos I won a trip to Summerslam.
What’s the weather been like lately? This week has been a bit random - it's been warm, it's been a bit cold, it's been cloudy and dull, it's rained, it's been windy, it's been sunny.
Do you check the weather forecast regularly? Yep, my city is so changeable you gotta keep on top of it.
Do you live in a city of at least one million people? Yep, Auckland has about 1.5 million people.
What’s your favourite colour? Purple.
Do you own any clothes in your favourite colour? Loads!
Would you say faucet or tap? Tap.
Do you watch any sports? Wrestling if it counts. Otherwise I only watch when the Olympics or Commonwealth Games are on - then I'll pretty much watch anything haha.
Have you ever eaten carob? No clue what that is, so I doubt it.
Are there any plants around your house, inside or outside? There's a bunch downstairs.
Which bugs do you truly hate the most? All of them, lol.
What’s your favourite kind of puzzle? I like crosswords and the like.
If you were going on a daytime date tomorrow, where would you go? We'd do something fun like mini golf or ten pin bowling.
Where are you right at this moment? At my desk in my room.
Describe the room or place you’re in. It's my room, it's packed with stuff and has posters of The Shield guys all over the walls.
Is your nose blocked right now? No.
Do you live on a main road? Kind of - the front of our house faces the main road, but our address is actually on a road off it.
Have you ever volunteered? Yes.
What colours are you wearing today? Purple.
How old were you when you graduated high school? 18.
Describe your favourite pair of socks. I don't have a fave haha.
What holidays do you celebrate? Christmas, Easter and that's about it.
If you could dye your hair any colour for one month, what would you do? My hair is already purple and blue, so I guess I'd go green to see if I'd suit it.
Art or science? Science. I'm more creative, but Art is not my thing, I'm more into writing and that.
Do you own a pair of sunglasses? How often do you wear them? Yep, they're prescription ones and I wear them every single time I go outside no matter what. Even if it's raining xD
What’s your go-to order at McDonald’s? Chicken nuggets, fries, drink and either an apple pie or a McFlurry.
Do you know anyone who was born in the Caribbean? I probably do.
What brand is your fridge? Um...
Speaking of fridges, what drinks do you have in there right now? Water, energy drinks (my Mum's, I don't drink them lol) and I think there's cider too.
Are there any special rules about selling alcohol & tobacco in your country? You just need to be 18 to buy them.
Do you live in the northern or southern hemisphere? Southern.
What’s your dream car? No clue.
Do you have a best friend? How long have you known them? Yes, I've known her for 22 years, we met in 2002.
How often do you take selfies? Oh, all the time.
Are you hungry at the moment? What are you craving? I just ate, so not at the moment.
What do you think your life will look like in 3 years from now? I have no idea tbh.
When was the last time you received a card? What was it for? Hmm, not sure.
Do you like yes or no questions, or questions that make you think? Both, but yes/no gets boring after awhile.
What states have you been to in the past year? None, I haven't been to the USA since 2019.
Have you ever sleepwalked? No.
What year was your house built? It's new, it was built in the 2010's.
Do you feel like you have more in common with men or with women? Both about equally.
What’s your favorite superhero movie? I don't like them.
Do you want children? Why/why not? No thank you. I like to spend my money on myself and do what I want when I want xD Plus my boyfriend is my perfect match cos he has grown up kids and doesn't want any more.
Do you have any credit card debt? No.
Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm? Not super late, but I had to get ready in like 5 minutes lmao.
Are you good at reading people? Depends.
Who do you go to for relationship advice? Depends.
What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Playing with my friends who lived down our street - we rode our bikes together.
What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off? I only work part time, I never work more than 2 days in a row lol.
Have you ever been scammed? No.
Do you know anyone who works in the tech industry in Silicon Valley? No.
Do you wear eyeliner? No.
Did you ever take a personal finance class in school? No.
Where were you the last time you kissed someone? My house, cos my boyfriend was going home lol.
How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well?? I'm fine.
Do you struggle with acne? I get the occasional spot, but that's it.
Did you have a Xanga page back in the pre-Myspace days? No.
Around what year did you start using the internet, anyways? Late 90's at some point.
Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? Depends what you consider 'unusual'.
What’s something that would make you incredibly happy right now? Traveling.
What did you do for your 18th birthday? I had a sleepover with my BFFs.
What temperature do you keep your thermostat set at in the winter? We don't have one.
Have you ever been to the Caribbean? No.
Have you ever fostered an animal? No.
What did you have for breakfast this morning? Toast, 3 pieces.
What’s your favorite form of exercise? Treadmill.
Have you ever drank so much that you passed out? No.
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hargreeveslove · 5 years
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literally every other sentence whenever I'm talking about tua
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aerynwrites · 2 years
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Mysterious Man || Pt.7
Mob Boss!Boba Fett x Female!Reader
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A/N: ignore the armor in the above gif xD i was running out if Boba gifs to use lol. Anyways, here it is, part 7! only two more parts to go after this. I hope you all enjoy! Thank you to @princessbatears​ for beta’ing this chapter!
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: canon typical violence, angst, hurt/no comfort (yet).
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
You shouldn’t feel this way.
You shouldn’t feel this overbearing sense of guilt. Shouldn’t feel like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. But with the way Boba is glaring down at you, the love from earlier this morning is completely absent from his eyes…you think you feel more dread than guilt.
“What is this?” he finally asks, shaking the card in the air.
You take a deep breath, trying and failing to steady your nerves. You haven’t done anything wrong. You just need to tell him the truth. “That detective came into the diner a few months ago,” you start, trying to avoid Boba’s withering gaze, “He started asking questions about you, what you do, and all this and I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about because you own the hotel which everyone already knows-” you’re rambling by now. Still telling the truth but you can’t understand why Boba is still looking at you like that. “Then I told him that he should leave because I wasn’t going to tell him anything else because it’s all pretty straightforward. But he gave me his card anyway.”
“And you kept it?” Boba stands from his position leaned up against the couch, brows drawn together in frustration.
You feel yourself getting annoyed now, you told him everything. Why is he still pushing?
You throw your hands out to the side, “I tossed the card in my purse on the way out the door, Boba! Shit gets lost in there all the time-”
“Why didn’t you throw it away? That’s a lot easier than tucking it away in your purse for later use,” Boba accuses, and you finally begin to understand.
You scoff, “You think I contacted him?” your voice pitches upwards, unable to believe what he’s insinuating.
The man before you shakes his head, eyes drawn down the card still between his fingers. “Why else would you keep it?” he asks before continuing on without letting you answer. “This man, this… Detective Han Solo, has been trying to pin shit on me for years. He hates the fact that I have money and power and has tried to take me down several times.”
The venom in Boba’s voice as he speaks about the detective throws you off. The hatred drips from every word and paints itself clear as day on his features. And the thing that worries you most, is that you can see it in his eyes when he looks back up at you.
The words that have been sitting on the tip of your tongue, come spilling out before you can think better of them. “Why the hell does it matter if he’s asking questions if there’s nothing to hide?” you ask, leaning into him further, anger bubbling up in your chest because of this stupid argument.
“I didn’t tell him anything when he came because there was nothing to tell him, Boba!” you push on, “And the fact that you’re so fucking angry over a damn card when I have already told you I haven’t contacted him -”
“How do I know that’s true?” he shouts, voice echoing around in the large room and shocking you into silence. “I don’t have anything to hide,” he insists, “But how am I to know that you haven’t been going back to him and telling him things that appear innocent to you but could be twisted into something different by him and the entire Republic City Police department?”
You feel your entire being deflate. Your chest aches and you can feel the tingling of tears building up behind your eyes. “So you don’t trust me, is what you’re saying?” the words come out weak, voice unsteady as you look up at the man before you, the man who looks nothing like the one you woke up next to this morning.
It seems he finally hears your words. His shoulder sag just slightly, the malice slips away from his gaze, but he still doesn’t look at you. Instead they look down at the card once more before he lets out a deep sigh.
“I think it’s best if you go,” he says quietly, turning away from you to face the window overlooking the city.
That was the final blow.
Your heartache is joined by anger and desperation. The latter two just barely manage to cover up the feeling of your heart dropping into your stomach and the tears that threaten to spill over.
“Fine,” you gasp, “I’ll go. But don’t even think about calling me until you get your head out of your ass,” you bite, anger boiling over. “I am a lot of things but I’m not a rat. Even if there was anything to tell I wouldn’t have.” you don’t even know if he’s listening anymore, his back has been turned to you since he told you to leave. So, you do the same.
The elevator doors open as soon as you press the button and you slip inside, not giving into the urge to look back at him. And when the doors close behind you, you can’t stop the tears that stream down your cheeks.
· ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
It’s been days since the argument. Five days to be exact, and each one feels longer than the last. You cried yourself to sleep the night he told you to leave, despite your anger at the situation, at him being a total asshole…your heartache wins out. It seems like no matter where you go or what you do, something reminds you of him. Whether it’s working your shifts at the diner and seeing his booth empty, running into Fennec which seems to be happening more often than not, to the necklace that hangs around your neck, a gift he got you for valentines day.
You can’t escape him. And you quietly hope he can't escape you either.
The diner is slower than usual today, something that you are silently grateful for since putting on a cheery persona for the customers hasn’t been easy. The only booth that is occupied is by a familiar raven haired woman that has been like your own personal phantom for the past few days. You ran into her at the corner market the day after The argument and she’s been showing up at the diner more. You want to assume it’s a coincidence but you have a feeling she’s keeping an eye on you. For what reason you’re not sure. You choose to hope that maybe Boba regrets what he said to you but is too stubborn to do anything about it, so he sends his right hand woman to keep an eye on you instead.
You approach the booth slowly, a tight smile on your lips as she looks in your direction.
“Hey Fennec,” you greet her again, gesturing to her coffee cup, “You need a refill?”
The woman looks at you for a moment, and if you didn’t know her well, you would have thought her eyes softened as she took in your appearance. Run down, dark circles beneath your eyes, orbs probably bloodshot from crying. You’ve definitely seen better days.
The woman shakes her head, “No, I’m good,” he says, “Could I get water instead? Maybe with a slice of the pie for today?”
You can’t help the pang in your chest as you hear her request. The pie of the day is cherry, yet another thing to remind you of Boba. you bite your lip and nod, “Yeah, sure thing.” you turn to go fulfill her order, but stop halfway and look back at her, toying with the front of your apron as you ask the question that has been burning at the beach of your mind.
“Fennec?” the woman looks at you again, brows raised. “How’s Boba doing?”
She pauses at your question, like she wasn’t quite expecting to hear it, or like she’s trying to figure out what to say. It doesn’t take her long to overcome her hesitancy and she lets out a soft sigh. “He’s…managing,” she offers, as if measuring her words carefully. “He’s been a little distant lately. But he’ll be fine. He always is.”
You nod, somehow the knowledge that he seems to be doing even slightly better than you, hurts all the more. You turn away again, “I’ll go get your order.”
You don’t even know what you were expecting her to say. You don’t know the answer to a lot of things lately. The main one being if Boba basically kicking you out the other night was him breaking up with you. Is he done? Is this just a break? Is he waiting for you to contact him?
You have no idea, which just makes your chest ache worse. You never thought you could hurt this much over someone. Never thought that the man you’ve come to love would do this. Your eyes widen slightly as you cut into the pie, your brain finally catching up with your own thoughts.
Love.
You love him. Of course you do. You can’t pinpoint exactly when or where the feeling started but you know you do. And that’s why it hurt so much. That’s why you wanted to kick and scream and call him an idiot the night he told you to leave. Or maybe it’s because you don’t even know if he loves you back. Would someone who loves you turn you away like that?
The tinkling of the bell above the front door interrupts you before you can think of an answer and you turn to see who walked in. as soon as you see the chestnut hair and the navy blue suit, anger bubbles up in your chest.
Detective Han Solo doesn’t even wait to be greeted, he just suanters over and takes a seat at the diner counter, looking at you expectantly. “Trouble in paradise?” he finally asks, sending you a knowing look.
“You asshole,” you seethe, making it to where he sits in three quick steps, “Why are you even here? You apparently already watch Boba’s every move, so why show up here? To rub it in my face?”
You are so blinded by rage that you completely forget about the woman sitting in the corner booth, intently listening to your conversation.
The detective shakes his head, and sends you a wry smile, “I came to see if you wanted to finally take me up on my offer.”
Your hands are balled into fists at your sides before you bring one up to point an accusing finger in the man's face. “Oh, fuck you,” you seeth, “I’m not taking you up on shit, because I can’t give you anything! And even if I could, I wouldn’t tell you.” your voice is dripping with malice as the detective’s face shifts from one of smug arrogance to slight shock. “Ever since you showed up it feels like life has knocked me on my ass, and I’m over it. Leave. I’m not serving you, and if you so much as come near me again I will file a harassment claim.”
The detective stares at you for a moment, saying nothing before he finally stands from his seat. He raps his knuckles on the counter twice before fixing you with a pitying look. “Have you ever considered that maybe I’m not the reason for your problems?”
“You are literally the exact reason for my problems right now,” your voice is disturbingly calm, “Now, please just, get. Out.”
The detective says no more. Just gives you a curt nod and turns on his heel to exit the diner, the bell jingling softly after him. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding as soon as the door closed. You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths before standing up straight and glancing back over to where Fennec was sitting. You see her talking quietly on the phone, before her eyes meet yours and she mutters something else into the receiver before hanging up. She stands from her seat and waves her phone in the air.
“Business calls,” she says simply, “Don’t worry about the pie.”
You don’t say anything as she too exits the diner, and once again you’re left alone with a multitude of emotions swimming in your chest.
· ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── ·
Jess comes in for her shift about halfway through your own. You didn’t realize until you saw her in the back that you haven’t talked to her in a while, not since before the argument with Boba.
She comes hustling in as usual, never quite late but pushing it all the same. However, when she sees you sitting in the back for your break she can tell something is wrong. She immediately walks over to you wrapping her arms around you in a tight embrace and it takes everything in you not to burst into tears.
“What’s wrong?” She finally asks, only pulling away from the hug when you loosen your grip.
You shake your head, knowing talking about it will make you cry. You shrug his shoulders. “I can call you later and tell you about it. My break is almost over and I don’t want to get into it here.”
Your friend gives you a sympathetic smile and nods, “Sure. Since I close up, can I meet up with you after work? Milkshakes on me from Freddie’s?”
You can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips. “Yeah, that sounds great actually.”
Jess smiles back, “Then it’s a date! Now let’s get to work and hopefully the day won’t drag by.”
You follow Jess out to the front of the house and continue your shift. As if Jess spoke it into existence, your shift does go by fairly quickly. The diner stays steadily busy so the time passes faster than usual. The end of your shift approaches sooner than you realize and you decide to take one more table before you call it a day. A group of four men had taken a seat at a booth in the far back corner in your section so you walked over, pulling out your notepad and pen.
“Welcome to Joe’s Diner, what can I get for you boys today?” You ask, spewing the regular greeting.
All four of them look at you, and instead do the usual friendly-ish greetings you usually receive, they look at you like a piece of meat. More than that even, it looks like they’re appraising you. You shift your weight anxiously, their lack of reply and predatory gazes putting you off.
“We have a best sellers section on the front of the menu-“
The largest man, the one sitting on the right edge seat speaks up, mouth twisted in a frown. “We know how the menu works sweet cheeks,” he practically sneers.
You have to bite your cheek to stop from snapping back at him and instead take a deep breath. “Okay, well…can I get you started with some drinks while you look over the menu?”
There’s another silence as your question hangs in the air, and the man that snapped at you shifts in his seat. He reaches up scratching at his unkempt beard and it’s then that you see it.
An eerily familiar tattoo that brings back memories of that night all those months ago. The man who attacked you has the same one. And so do all the men at the table.
Your eyes go wide, and you take an unconscious step backwards. Something the man notices. He sends you a lopsided smirk.
“Something wrong, sweet cheeks?” He asks, voice anything but friendly.
You shake your head, and move to turn away from the table, ready to tell Joe what’s going on. But as soon as you turn to leave, a large callused hand latches onto your wrist, stopping your escape. You turn back around, wincing as his grip continues to tighten.
“Let go of me,” you say firmly, fear rising in your chest at the looks on their faces.
The man holding onto you shakes his head, and then gives you a knowing look. “You’re Fett’s girl, aren’t you?”
Those words alone strike more panic within you and you manage to wrench your hand free from his grasp, turning and all but sprinting back towards the kitchen. You ignore the stares of the other patrons, nearly running into Jess as she carries a tray full of food from the kitchen.
“Woah!” She exclaims, barely managing to save the food from toppling to the floor, “What's going on? Why are you in such a rush?”
You shake your head, mind running a mile a minute and the only thing you’re able to clearly decipher is the need to get to Boba. To call him, text him, anything.
“I have to go,” you rush out, “I’m sorry, I need to leave.”
You ignore Jess’s questioning calls as you go to the back and grab your purse, rushing out the back before anyone can stop you.
Once out on the street you immediately start walking, borderline jogging towards the hotel, digging around in your purse for your phone. You hit Boba’s number and bring the phone up to your ear, listening to the endless ringing until it sends you to voicemail.
“Fuck,” you curse to yourself, ending the call before trying again.
Your heart is racing, your hands feel numb from the shock running through your veins. You thought you had gotten over that night. Gotten over your attack. But those men, their tattoos, the way he grabbed you…it brought it all back. And all you wanted was for Boba to tell you that everything’s okay. All of your anger over the argument dissipates in this moment. Fuck the argument. All you want right now is him.
He saved you once. If you can just get to him…
The phone goes to voicemail again, and you want to scream. You go to call again, but the moment you move to press the button the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. You slow your pace and give a quick glance over your shoulder. Your heart drops into your stomach at the sight of a black SUV slowing to a crawl behind you.
Maybe it’s irrational. But you know something is wrong. Those men showing up at the diner. The car that just so happens to be slowing down beside you on what you now realize is a pretty desolate street.
You take off running before you can think further. You can see the lights of the hotel's entrance down the street. Its distance makes your heart sink just that much more. It’s so far…but you can see it. The sound of tires squealing behind you makes your legs pump harder. You drop your purse to the ground, the extra weight just slowing you down.
The hotel is closer now, still out of reach but you can see the bellhop. The one that would always greet you when you came home.
Home…
Tears spill from your eyes as you suck air into your lungs. The sound of a roaring engine is closer and you feel the wind against your cheek as the car whips past and onto the sidewalk in front of you. Blocking your view of the hotel and your only escape, your hopes of safety ripped from your grasp. The doors of the suv swing open and two burly men jump out. But you’re already taking off in the opposite direction.
It doesn’t matter.
A hand reaches out and snags the neck of your uniform, choking you and bringing you to a screeching halt all at once. You splutter, gasping for breath as a thick arm wraps around your waist. You thrash around in his grip, kicking your legs out and reaching behind you to claw at whatever you can reach.
“Help! Someone help-“
You hear a muttered curse as your foot strikes the second man in the stomach, and your shout is cut off by a cloth being pressed firmly to your mouth and nose.
You shake your head side to side violently, but a wave of dizziness and haze slows your movements. It feels like the fight is sucked right out of you as your vision starts to go dark at the edges and you are forced to fall limp in the man’s arms.
A dark chuckle meets your ears, warm breath fanning over your cheek as they maneuver you into the back seat of the car.
“See you on the other side, sweet cheeks.”
And then, just after you see the brightly lit sign of the Empire Hotel fly by the window, your world goes dark.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
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shadowdianne · 2 years
Text
So I’m going to rant xd and it’s a futile one but one I’ve already talked about with friends but a part of me feels better with putting things into words.
I was cleared for the gym yesterday: my top surgery scars are healing nicely after a couple of scares and I was finally told that in a week and after some light testing on my side with some exercises I can go back; slowly, but yeah, “if you want, you can totally start and test your resistance”. The classic speech about being mindful of my muscles, stop if I feel like I’m overshooting it -which I tend to do- and yaddah yaddah yaddah.
As far as that section of the convo goes I’m happy with it.
However,
I like to swim. It’s something I’ve always liked, it’s one of the things that if I’m capable of doing I try to because quiets my mind a lot and is a sport that I feel it’s something I can do totally alone which is one of the things I like when I’m exercising. I stopped during the pandemic, of course, and didn’t go back to it after the most intense days of lockdown because it was a pain managing it with all the restrictions. However, I knew that by the time I was cleared for gym they would eventually rec me do some swimming as it helps with the process of getting your movement fully back. Here it comes the things I’ve been mulling over for months now but all the stronger now since I’m already there.
I’m neither man nor woman but considering the things I’ve usually and I still go, to the women’s bathroom when I’m out. It’s easier, less jarring and people usually tend to read me -or tended to, after the top surgery I’m getting more dubious looks which is something I tend to go after if not for this particular scenario- as a woman. So I go there, I do my business, etc. After the top surgery there are some problems added to it which are, namely, my scars xd
People are going to read me -probably- as a trans man. Which I’m not. And therefore they are either going to push for me to go to the men’s rooms which I honestly do not fucking want to because that’s way more aggro for me or, the worst scenario here, kick me out xd
I could go and since I live in a coastal city go and swim at the sea but I also live in a pretty big city, with lots of tourists, lots of pick pocketers and I 100% know as someone who has lived here for almost 8 years now that that would only be marking me as the next idiot to steal from. Plus, again, it’s quite an open scenario in where I never know what I will get from people around me and considering how the alt right is rising here I’m also playing at the very funny game of: will it be or will it not to the fact of getting attacked.
So I’m back at gyms xd There’s one, at my former university, I can get access to, the amount I’d be paying is very very low and generally could be a good fit -it’s quite far away though- but I’ve had a couple of bad iterations with people there regarding my lack of gender and whilst the university is quite known as being left-oriented again, you never know who I will encounter. I know I’ll go there eventually and I’ll probably do the paperwork needed for it in less than a week so I take advantage of the money I’d be putting forward and my own energy and intent of getting back into the gist of it but I also know that my social anxiety is going to be through the roof every fucking time I go there. And again, this is not me saying how I want to talk about this with more detail than I’ve already done it but I think it’s also important to show the practical, factual moments in where we may go “uhhh, fuck” with things that can be so much easier for other people. And I could very well not do the swimming portion, of course, exercise home as I usually do and do not worry about it. But I love swimming xd I do not want to just simply NOT do it.
So here we are Xd
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honeypirate · 3 years
Text
Why You Should Never Eavesdrop
AHHH it’s my first ever Naruto fic!! Don’t hate me if it sucks
Kakashi x female reader.
I will soon branch out to write for like Genma and Izumo but I had to make my first fic for Kakashi since he was my first ever crush ever XD. I’m going to write a part two because this is a terrible place to end it. I just got excited and wanted to post this now lol
Naruto Masterlist
Of course you went after him. You wanted to see if everything was okay, he was your friend after all and you cared about him. But when you got lost in the trees looking for him, this was the last thing you expected.
You were a Jonin, masking your chakra was second nature and something you always did, which is why you were able to quietly and accidentally sneak up underneath them. Kakashi with his student, Sauske, in the tree, “you’re a little late to the game” you froze, should you run? Should you speak up? You held your breath so they wouldn’t hear you as you debated what you should do. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop but part of you was glad you were when you heard the words that came out his mouth next “everyone I care about is already dead”
You disappear quick after that, realizing it wasn’t a conversation you should be listening to. Also realizing that he didn’t think you were as close of friends as you did. You know about his past, his history, you know about it all, but you thought, stupidly, as you now realize, that you could be someone to him. “Ridiculous” you nutter to yourself as you take to the trees, running through them as far as you could go, far away from Kakashi.
Far as possible without leaving this village, was to the trees by the gate, it was always nice here, the clouds easier to see because it’s where there was the tallest tree and you loved to sit at the very top. You were disappointed in yourself, you were a shinobi for crying out loud! you never got so invested in your feelings before. You will not let your feelings interfere with your life. You needed to think and this was where you came when you needed space.
Kakashi didn’t even come in to your life until recently, you got back from a mission that lasted a few years, protection of a political family, now you were home after so long and just when you thought you’d be given a little time off, the Hokage told you he wanted you to be a sensei to some new young Genin. That’s what brought Kakashi into your life.
You knew him growing up, had mutual friends in the academy, but you’ve never talked to him directly. Until after one especially long day with your rowdy eleven year olds you decided to go get some ramen and de-stress. The only chair open was next to Kakashi at the bar, who wasn’t even eating anymore, he was reading his icha icha book while Naruto rambled on next to him about Sakura.
He knows when you arrived, felt you sit next to him, but he didn’t show any signs. He had a crush on you in school and when you were in ANBU at the same time, you never looked his way so he didn’t think you even knew about him. That was, until tonight.
You’re so fried right now, bags under your eyes from the missions you’ve been sent on and from teaching, plus, you don’t remember the last time you slept more than three hours a night. Given that, your filter when speaking to people is basically nonexistent.
You wait for your ramen to cool a little before eating it and your eyes wander over to the words on the page you can read over his shoulder. “This part was my favorite” you say “then the part at the end as well. Have you seen the poster for the new movie?” You ask and then turn your tired attention to your ramen, taking slow bites so you could enjoy it.
He’s glad his blush is hidden by his mask, “I’ve seen it” he says and you nod “I thought you would have. You’ve always loved those books” you say and then smile content with your ramen. “It looks like it’s going to be good” you say and he nods.
When you finish your meal you turn in your stool towards him, Naruto has been distracted by someone else he knows and so you’re not interrupting anything, “i liked that book the best” you say and push your empty bowl forward, leaning your elbow on the table and leaning your head on your hand to smile at him. You talked together about icha icha books and the movies, sharing your favorite parts and ways you thought it could be better. You talk so long that by the time you leave Naruto had already left.
He wouldn’t lie about the fact that your smile always made his heart race, no, he wouldn’t lie, but he wouldn’t tell the truth, either, if he was ever asked about it. “Goodnight y/n” he says and does his cute closed eye thing where you can tell he’s smiling. You feel your cheeks warm up in a blush but you don’t look away you place your money on the counter before hopping off from your stool “I’ll see you around Kakashi” you say and shove your hands in the pockets of your pants and walk out of the shop.
He watched you leave, a curious smile on his lips under his mask, you surprised him today and now he’s curious to know more about you. After that you somehow ran in to him every time you had ramen, and you talked every time for sometimes hours, before you knew it you grew close with him. You trusted him and believed he felt similarly to you.
It’s been a year since then, you felt like he was a good friend now and didn’t even consider it wouldn’t be the same for him. You were both called into the Hokage’s office for a mission together, you were hyped, it was going to be easy peasy, you’ll be back in three months and you’ll have more time with Kakashi. You were walking back home when you saw the fight on the roof of the hospital which led you to wanting to find Kakashi since you knew how he felt about his students, which led to you here, now in the tree tops, trying to get over your feelings and hide them like a true shinobi.
“There you are” a voice said behind you, a voice you knew well, “here I am” you said and made your face neutral before you turned around to look at him. “What’s going on?” You ask and meet his eye, tilting your head a little. You wanted to pretend nothing was wrong and act normal but you felt cold. Inside and out.
“We’re supposed to be leaving tonight?” He says and furrows his eyebrows. “Shit. I’m sorry Kakashi I lost track of time. Give me five minutes I just need to grab my pack” you say before disappearing, running back to your house to grab your bag that’s already been prepared, cursing under your breath for being so stupid for a second time today.
You’re glad that he’s never made you feel like you have to talk, you can run though the trees with him in silence and not be awkward. “Did you hear me? Y/n?” You finally realized he was talking to you and you looked over at him “what was that?” You said and he came to a stop, you following suit and stopping next to him. “I said we should stop for the night. We’ve been going for hours now. it’s probably after two am” he says and you nod “sounds good” he knows something is off but doesn’t press it “there should be a cave up ahead we can stay in” he says and takes off, you right behind him.
“I’ll take the first guard shift. Get some rest” you say as you finish setting up your bed, standing up and walking over to the entrance of the cave, the whole time not really even paying attention to Kakashi or anything he’s saying, if he’s even said anything you don’t really know. You sit at the entrance, your back to him as you keep your mind aware of everything out in the woods and unaware of the man behind you who’s staring at your back, the book in his hand forgotten about, as he keeps wondering why you’re acting weird.
After your guard shift is over you quietly make your way over next to where he’s sleeping, you place your hand on his shoulder and he wakes up instantly, his eye looking into yours. His hand reaches up to grab yours that’s still on his shoulder “oh sorry” you say and try to take it away but he doesn’t move his hand. You look back into his eye and raise your eyebrows, wondering what he was thinking, wondering if he’ll ask the question you can see in his eye. He seems to make up his mind when he releases your hand and looks away, he goes to sit up and you clear your throat “like fifteen minutes ago I felt something off over to the east, but I couldn’t see anything with my Kekkei Genkai. It could be nothing but just in case” you say as you lay down on your back in your bed, using your arm to cover your eyes.
You’ve been on the road traveling for about a month now, you almost made it to your destination and once you were there you would deliver your message and then take a package back to the Hokage. You successfully shoved every feeling back into a tiny jar in your heart, now easier to pretend you never had them to begin with, although you acted a lot like you did when you were an ANBU. He’s noticed, of course he’s noticed, he notices everything about you, he has since you punched him once in the Chunin exams when you stole his scroll. He watched you now out of the corner of his eye as you run through the treetops, he missed how you used to laugh so easily with him.
You’re walking now, him a bit ahead of you, the sun has been down for a while “We can rest here since it’s a bit late or keep pushing until we get there, we could stay at an inn and have our meeting in the morning.” He matches your pace before he responds “second one is my choice” he says and you nod “we’re only about an hour out I’d guess” you say “yeah I’d bet you’re right” that was the last thing said for the rest of the walk. The lights of the city coming into view, your stomach growls for the first time in all these weeks when you pass by a ramen shop “come on” Kakashi says and walks through the door, you thanked every deity you could think of in that moment and then followed him in.
“Yummmm” You hummed over your steaming bowl, you felt like this was exactly what you needed. To warm your soul and let the unknown go. So what he doesn’t care about you. He’s just being a good Jonin and shinobi. It was fitting that it was ramen that helped you release your pent up emotions.
Kakashi was sitting across from you in the booth of the nearly empty restaurant, it was probably around 10 pm now and the only people in here other than you both were a few drunk men at a different table. “After we eat let’s get a room and a bath and we’ll meet the Kage in the morning” he says and you nod, your mouth full of noodles and your heart happier than it’s been these past few weeks. You were going to be yourself and be his friend no matter what, because you cared about him and that was all that mattered. ‘Everything will be fine.’ You think to yourself as you finish your bowl and meet his eye, smiling warmly at him. That just confused him even more. He was sitting here the entire time wondering how to talk to you about what’s going wrong and you just turn around and act normal again. What the hell. He’ll talk to you more about it later tonight.
“I’m gonna get a room at the inn down the road and then head to the bathhouse, you eat and we’ll meet up after” you say as you place enough money on the table for both of your meals before slipping out of the booth and out into the chilly night air. ‘Yea’ Kakashi thinks to himself ‘I’ll definitely have to talk to her about this later’
“Lucky you!” The person at the front desk says “it’s the last room” they hand you over your key and a string of curses go through your mind, you let go of your pent of feelings but that didn’t mean you wanted to be thrown right into intimate moments with him. You couldn’t do much about it now “do you have an extra mattress? I have a friend who needs a room as well and we might have to share” you say and frown, to which they chuckle amusedly at your unhappiness “yes we do! We’ll have one sent to your room” you nod “thank you. Where is the bathhouse?”
The cold night air is calming, you look up at the moon as you walk slowly down the road to the bathhouse, grateful to the inn keeper for the directions. Your hands in your pocket and your footsteps practically silent, just like your thoughts, surprisingly quiet for the first time in weeks. You felt a weight off your shoulders, like physical evidence of your letting go of your hard feelings. Finally coming to terms with your heart. You felt so relieved and you can’t wait to sink into the hot water so your muscles could feel the same kind of relief.
Strings of even more harsher curses run through your head as you read the sign on the bathhouse. It was co-ed. Open to all. Which means you’ll probably have to share a bath with your ninja partner. Just great. You took a deep breath and steeled your nerves before walking into the establishment. Maybe Kakashi would take his time or maybe he’d find another inn and go to bed right away. You sigh, knowing he’ll be here soon.
Luckily the bath was empty as you entered, you lowered your body into the hot water and sighed in happiness. You considered hurrying but now that your body is in the water you know you’ll stay as long as your body wants, no matter who showed up. You laid your head back and took a deep breath, feeling the hot water release the tension you’ve been holding, which was almost immediately replaced with new tension when you heard the door open.
Even though you knew who it was, you raised your left eyebrow, causing your eye to open lazily as you looked through the steam at the silver haired man. He gave you a slight nod before you closed your eye and focused on steadying your breathing. You’ve seen him shirtless before, but you knew if you saw him in this setting you’d have a heart attack and stop breathing. He’d never let you forget that either so you couldn’t let him know the affect he had on you, sure, you’ve accepted you’d never be anything more than work friends but that didn’t mean you were blind.
His body couldn’t relax in the hot water, he had no room and now he had to share a bath with you. How cruel could the universe be? The wet glint off your shoulders that peaked out of the water, your wet hair stuck to your neck, the way you looked so relaxed in the hot water, it all drove him wild. What done him in though, was the way you looked at him when he walked in, ‘sooo cute.’ He thought. This was exactly like a scene from his favorite book, it was everything he could just to keep his boner at bay. So
The sigh that left your lips as ran the warm wet washcloth over your neck, made his heart race, he couldn’t help but watch you. You don’t know what has happened, something in you snapped the longer he watched you wash your chest and shoulders, something compelled you and you didn’t fight it, you embraced it. “You want to help me wash my back or are you just enjoying the show?” You ask, your eyes still on the washcloth as it passes across your skin. His heart beat is hammering in his chest, that was the last thing he expected you to say but he couldn’t resist from moving slowly through the water and over to you, sitting behind you he reaches down and takes the cloth from you, slowly running it up your arm and over your shoulder.
Your heart is pounding in your ears, you sigh softly and your eyes flutter closed, tilting your head to the side as the cloth passes over your shoulder and neck. You pull your hair all to the front of your shoulder so your back was completely open and you hum contentedly as he begins to wash your back slowly, you lean forward when he gets midway so he could go lower if he wanted, your knees up on the side of the seats and your arms wrapped around your knees.
When you’re satisfied with his work you look over your shoulder at him with a smile before turning around to face him, looking into his eye as you take the cloth from him, you run the warm cloth up his arm starting from his wrist, when you get to his shoulder he breaks eye contact to turn around to allow you to wash his back as well. You wash his strong shoulders, leaving the cloth on one of them as you begin to massage his neck, kneading your fingers into his skin, working down his strong shoulders, kneading out knots and smiling every time he lets out of a relaxed, soft, moan. You massage down his back, working the muscles near his spine massaging in small circles with your thumbs to his lower back before running your finger tips up his back and across his ribs before grabbing the cloth and finishing washing him now that you were satisfied with how relaxed he looked. You set the cloth down to the side, softly running your finger tips across his shoulders before placing a feather kiss to the back of his neck. “Thank you for your help ‘Kashi” you whisper, finally breaking the silence, “if you don’t have a room, I’ll get another mattress and you can stay with me. Room 23.”
He was so relaxed he didn’t know you were gone until your words registered, who knows how long it’s really been, he thought he felt you kiss his neck but part of him believes he dreamed it. The longer this mission went the more confused he got.
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sparklingchan · 3 years
Text
Mischief Managed || Kim Doyoung(NCT)
Pairing : Reader(fem.) X Doyoung
Word count : 7k+
Warnings : A few cuss words here and there, gets suggestive towards the end, not proof read I’m sorry :(
Genre : Fluff, a hint of angst , romance, Hogwarts au, fake dating au.
Description: You are forced to befriend Kim Doyoung under unexpected circumstances but as two lonely souls meet, you find yourself enjoying his company a little too much.
A/N : I had the idea for this fic while I was travelling but I was too lazy to actually write it until recently. Harry Potter aus just never seem to bore me no matter how many times I write them ( it’s fate at this point XD)
Enjoy!
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Doyoung is bad at taking criticism. Not even sulky bad but angry, tantrum throwing bad. He'd rather be slapped than criticized. Metaphorically, of course.
"What do you mean she won't go on a date with me?" Doyoung hisses ,his voice an octave lower than usual. The bedroom consisting of three noisy boys suddenly falls silent at his words. For the first time in forever.
Jaehyun shifts in his place , the soft mattress dipping under his weight. He looks at his friend full of concern. "Look , you're not the only person trying to ask her out. I heard that some Gryffindor boys were trying to shoot their shot this morning. And that's just the beginning."
Doyoung clenches his blanket into his fists, "Claire is mine. They can't have her."
Johnny scoffs from his bed , his eyes never leaving the book he had been reading from the past one week, "Are you sure the sorting hat did a good job by putting you into Ravenclaw? That pride of yours sure does sound like Slytherin to me."
"Oh shut up. That's not even the point right now. I need Claire to go on a date with me. It's not a matter of interest anymore, it's a matter of pride. I will not back down just because there's competition." Doyoung shoots back.
The boys' room erupts with Johnny and Jaehyun's laughter, their beds shaking with vibrations and their voices probably disturbing the people sitting outside in the Ravenclaw common room. But it's been a long time since either of them have cared for what other people say. Ever since the three boys met on the Hogwarts Express six years ago , they've been inseparable, finding a home , a family in each other. And as time passes by, they're only formulating a stronger bond , unbeknown to the rest of the world.
By the time Jaehyun and Johnny come down from their laughter high, Doyoung is already throwing a fit , muttering under his breath , and clutching his blanket like his life depended on it. Typical angry Kim Doyoung.
"Everything else is fine, Dodo, but does Claire even know you?" Jaehyun asks, fanning his red face.
"Of course not , Jae. But in the sea of all the other boys ,she'd obviously notice our Doyoung first!"
Doyoung sucks in a deep,frustrated breath, reaching under his pillow to find his wand - Alder Wood, Dragon heartstrings core (11 inch) - his one true best friend.
"Aguamenti." Doyoung murmurs, ponting his wand at them. With a big splashing sound , a stream of water squirts out from the end of the wand , wetting everything that comes in contact with it - including Jaehyun and Johnny and everything else they possess.
That night , as the two boys try to dry themselves and the rest of their belongings, Doyoung stares up at the wooden ceiling, carved beautifully into swirls and waves and flowers ,he wonders why his friends think he wouldn't be able get Claire to go out with him, why did they make it seem so hard when it really wasn't.
His ego feels hurt, injured even. Maybe Johnny is right - maybe Doyoung is more Slytherin than Ravenclaw, but it didn't matter anymore. Because the Slytherin princess Claire would be his by the time Halloween arrives, no matter what and his ego and pride would be restored.
Or at least that is what he had initially planned.
 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
Everyone has that one subject they truly hate with every fiber of their being. They might not be particularly good or bad at it , but they often wonder the significance of this immeasurably disliked subject in their lives. For Doyoung, it is the potions class.
Brewing potions, remembering the recipes, knowing the job of each ingredient seemed too heavy a job for a divination loving man like Doyoung. Potions is way too practical, way too boring.
"Psst, Jae." The class must have been going on for about barely ten minutes when Doyoung decides he's had enough and that he would rather get in trouble for disturbing his friends.
"Jae, I'm bored. Johnny is in quidditch practice too." Doyoung pokes Jaehyun's back with the end of his wand. The latter squirms in his seat, subtle enough to not disturb anyone in the class, who unlike a certain Kim Doyoung were attentively listening to the professor.
"What?" Jaehyun turns back only enough to meet Doyoung's bored gaze.
"I think I'm going to ask Claire out today. During dinner. What do you think?" Doyoung whispers.
Jaehyun shakes his head , putting his quill down on the table, "Are you sure? You guys haven't even talked properly yet."
Doyoung stays silent for a few seconds because yes, Jaehyun is right. He doesn't even know what she likes , where is she from, who her friends are but he is willing to take the risk. For someone as beautiful as Claire, Doyoung would risk the whole world.
"I mean I can try, right?"
There's a sudden scoff escaping from your lips - whose name Doyoung never bothered to ask - sitting next to Jaehyun, the green of your robe hinting at your belongingness to Slytherin. "You're stupid, Kim Doyoung. Claire is not going to go out with you. Especially not when you're being such a creep." You say, your eyes fixed on the professor and your quill writing notes in quick movements.
Creep? Did you just call Doyoung a creep?
"Y/n, it's none of your business." Jaehyun rolls his eyes , "Stay out of it."
"Why? Is Mr.Snowflake here too egoistic to face the truth?" You turn around to look at Doyoung, a smirk finding it's way to your lips.
Doyoung clenches his fists, nibbling at his bottom lip as anger fills him up like water filling up in an empty jar; quick and to the brim.
"I don't remember asking for your opinion, " he says, then bitterly adds, "Miss Y/n ,who no one happens to care much about."
The sound of scratching of quills and quiet mutter of spells fills the air for a few seconds before you say something.
"I'm not giving you my opinion, it's just an advice. From first hand experiences. Many men have tried to win Claire over yet only a few of them have ever succeeded. " you say, "And boys like you often tend to seek her only because she's good looking so she actively makes sure to avoid your kind. ,"
Jaehyun looks at you ,stunned, "How do you know all that? Are you guys friends?"
Doyoung is not sure what to say anymore - he's as confused as Jaehyun is, maybe a tad bit more. For someone he'd properly talked to for the first time today, you sure do have a lot to say about his personal choices and ambitions. Big words do not faze him anymore.
"No , we're not friends." You giggle, "I'm her cousin. You almost couldn't tell, right?"
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
"It's finally Hogsmade weekend again. I thought I was going to suffocate in that stupid common room of ours." Johnny sighs , waddling towards his bed and slumping down like a little boy.
"Yes, I also need a cup of butter beer the first thing we arrive there." Jaehyun says, "What about you, Dodo?"
Dodo ,on the other hand is far too gone in the sea of his thoughts to pay heed to what his friends have to say. His eyes are on the patterns of the ceiling but his mind is with Claire and mostly with you, who he unintentionally might have offended today during potions class. Doyoung didn't have any particular interest in you per se but as Claire's cousin, it is important for Doyoung to be accepted by you first. You might be a know-it-all ,annoying and ghostly but he needs to befriend you again, start everything from scratch. And who knows ,if he got lucky enough, you'd put in a word or two on his behalf to Claire.
"What's he thinking about?" Johnny whispers to Jaehyun, "Did something happen?"
Jaehyun shrugs, "Usually, I'd say he's thinking about Claire but today,I'm not so sure."
The next morning is as noisy as all of their Hogsmade mornings have been. Doyoung only remembers hearing Jaehyun's yells and Johnny's giggles and the Hufflepuff girls singing a beautiful Winter song on the journey to Hogsmade village.
No matter how hectic it is, he has always liked these weekends the best.
"Have they changed their services to self service or what?" Johnny asks ,tapping the marble surface of the table in the Three Broomsticks, "Where's Madam Rosmerta?"
Doyoung shrugs ,his eyes scanning the unusually quiet room. He realises that the only company they have is the empty chairs and tables and the flying bottles of water emptying themselves into small glasses. "Should we just grab our drinks and put the money on the counter?" Jaehyun offers.
Before either of them could answer, the main door of the room slams open, urgent with force and the three boys see you rush inside, panting and huffing and murmuring. Your hair is messy and your clothes are disheveled, yet Doyoung thinks you look...different. Different from what you look like at school at least. Better ,even.
"I'm sorry I'm late. We weren't expecting guests so early. I hope I-" you stop mid sentence when you realize Doyoung and the other two boys were the only ones in the pub, "Oh. It's just you three."
"Yes,y/n, it's just us. Can you get us three butterbeers please?" Jaehyun says.
You sigh with disappointment. A 'hi, y/n, how are you?' would have been nice but then again when has anyone ever bothered to greet you with so much sweetness? Jaehyun and you are study partners , to say in a way. You never bothered to befriend him and he never bothered to do the same so that's just how its been since first year - studying together in the library and pretending the other person doesn't exist under normal circumstances. You liked it that way but sometimes, just sometimes you did wish Jaehyun tried to treat you in a more friendly way.
"What's she doing here?" Doyoung ,who is genuinely taken aback by your presence, asks.
"She works part time here. Madam Rosmerta is a family friend of hers." Jaehyun answers.
If Madam Rosmerta is a family friend of yours then she must be a family friend of Claire too, Doyoung connects in his head, and Claire's name somehow ignites a fire of enthusiasm within him.
He drags his chair across the floor and gets up , walking toward the counter where you're working. A little nervous Doyoung is , but he still manages to start a conversation with you, "Hey, y/n ,right?"
You swiftly twirl your wand around in the air , and ten cups of butterbeer and gillyweed water present themselves on a tray. You turn away from him to clean up the other plates , "What do you need?"
"I um..wanted to apologize for the insensitive comment I made yesterday. We started off on the wrong foot, I'm really sorry." He says, rubbing the back of his neck. Autumn is starting to set in slowly, but Doyoung feels the sweat sticking to his skin as if it were a hot summer morning.
You pause for a second. What was he apologizing for? You honestly couldn't recall and whatever it might have been, you are sure that it wasn't worse than what your other classmate have said before ; which is why you don't remember Doyoung's supposed insensitive comment.
"It's fine. Don't worry about it, " You say, "I've had worse, actually."
Doyoung's heart drops - there is no phrase more pain inducing than the one you'd just spewed out so carelessly. And for some god forbidden reason, Claire suddenly slips out of his conscience mind.
"No, no. I want to start anew. Be your friend." Doyoung insists, leaning against the cold wooden counter.
You sigh, "Are you sure that's what your intention is? Because I don't think so. "
Doyoung scowls, "Of course that's my intention. What else would it be, y/n?"
You swing your wand and three glasses of butterbeer arrive directly in front of him. His eyes widen for a split second but he bounces back quickly.
"Just say that you need help with Claire." You sigh.
Oh,right ,Claire. Shit how could I forget? Doyoung feels silly.
"I mean...in a way yes. But that's for the later part. Let's first be friends, yeah?"
You shake your head , "If I help you out with Claire ,will you stop trying to be my friend?"
You absolutely despise yourself at times like these - when you are trying so hard to push people away when they're only trying to befriend you (for whatever reason it might be). You're so lonely yet so afraid of attachments that you always tend to do this. The same repeated routine. You hate it. You sometimes wonder what it would feel like to be in Claire's place, to be loved by everyone, to have people lining up just to take you out on one date . But it would never happen, because Claire is Claire : the Slytherin Princess and you are just you..someone who has barely ever talked to more than one person at school.
Doyoung gulps and then nods, "Okay. I will." Because befriending a Slytherin outcast will never be more important than scoring a date with the Slytherin Princess.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
The Hogwarts Library is most empty during noon, something which you've concluded with years of experience and getting shoved out of your seat by your classmates who are way above you on the social ladder.
"So, " Doyoung finds a comfortable seat opposite to you , his hands fiddling with the pages of his diary, " how have you been?"
You give him a tired smile, "Can we get straight to point? I hate casual conversation. "
Doyoung snickers, "Wow, aren't you approachable today."
You lean back into your chair , eyes scanning Doyoung's face for any signs of regret . You'd never been the warm, bright sunshine kind of a person and you have accepted it without much protest. But of course, people take a lot of time to grow used to your sharpness and more often than not, people walk away even before you soften around them. It's a survival mechanism, you always convince yourself.
"What do you want help with? Do you want to know about her interests or past relationships or something else ?"
Doyoung pouts, his mind filling up with all sorts of ideas to impress Claire. It's like he's hit a jackpot by meeting you.
"I want to know what I have to do to gain Claire's interest. Be her friend and then eventually, a boyfriend, if I'm lucky enough." He suggests.
"First of all ,you need to stop gawking at her from afar. You need to start conversations with her ,no matter how short. She likes it when people approach her first." Talk about having a big ass ego.
"Okay, noted." One quick wave of his hand and his quill is immediately noting down sentences in his diary, " You seem to know her quite well. You guys are close, I am assuming."
You and Claire used to be close. Used to. In the past tense. As children you were inseparable, but as you slowly grew up, she realised how boring and uncool you were and that you belong to the shadows while she belongs in the spotlight. She's not tried to talk to you first for a long time now. But you weren't about to explain all of this to Doyoung, who is visibly smitten by your estranged cousin so you just shake your head , "No, not anymore."
Your ears perk up at the unexpected sound of approaching footsteps towards you and before you could ask Doyoung to relocate to a more secluded area, you hear her loud and clear voice.
Claire.
"Oh, hey, Doyoung!" She greets the man in front of you, walking upto his side. Her shiny shoes creating a tip-tap noise against the floor, and the green of your robe almost feels dull as compared to her bright one.
When her eyes fall on you,  her mouths twists as if she had one of those stupid vomit flavored chocolates. "What are you doing here, y/n?" She sneers at you.
If you could ever get a hold of the invisibility cloak, the first thing you'd do is slap this bitch right across her face. She has always had this sense of superiority , even when she's never done anything quite as heroic or deserving of that fame. And it infuriates you even further when you see Doyoung freeze in his seat, eyes glued to Claire's face.
"We were studying. I was about to leave now anyway." You mumble , gathering your books and tucking them under your arm.
When Doyoung hears your chair drag across the floor , he snaps out of his trance.
Why were you leaving? You promised you'd help, why couldn't you put away your past tensions and deal with it?
"Hey, where are you going?" He grabs your arm out of the blue, sending a wave of shock jolting through your body.
You immediately pull your hand back, "I'm hungry. I want to eat something."
Claire glares at the two of you and how suspicious your behavior is , you'd always been weird but she never took Doyoung for the weird kind at all.
You quickly jog away from the scene , cheeks tinted red.
Doyoung suddenly comes with a horrendous idea and he knows you'd hate it but in the heat of the moment, this feels like the only sane idea to make you stay and help him . He looks at Claire directly in the eye ,making sure to keep his voice as loud as possible so you could hear it too,
"Y/n and I are dating."
 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
The red, orange leaves rustle under your feet , disrupting the otherwise silent walk back to the Slytherin dormitories. A cold wind blows and you tighten the muffler around your neck.
"Y/n, I've been looking everywhere for you. "
And there is that leech again, making sure you don't come to have a single second of peace in your already hectic daily lives. For the past one week, Kim Doyoung has latched himself onto you like a leech latches to it's host. Wherever you go, he goes. It's maddening.
"I told you to stay away from me, Doyoung! Our deal is over. " you yell at him , your feet picking up a faster pace.
Without even looking back, you know that he is groaning under his breath, the look of hopelessness evident in his otherwise sparkling eyes.
"Our deal was that you help me. You're not helping me out at all! You're treating me like I'm invisible." he replies.
Just how I'd been invisible for years to you, you think.
"I didn't agree to be a bait in this stupid love game of yours. You literally pushed me down the cliff to save yourself. " you say. You feel a sudden gush of wind on your face and Doyoung is standing right in front of you - inches away, instead of a few feet behind you.
You gasp, "You apparated! Kim Doyoung, this is against the school rules."
Doyoung bites down on his lower lip, throat growing dry with anxiousness. He couldn't explain why - he'd apparated before within the school grounds and it's been okay then why is he feeling dizzy all of a sudden? But on second thoughts, maybe it wasn't the apparition that caused the dizziness, maybe it was the spooky possibility of you hating him for lying about you two dating that triggered it. And like salt dissolves in water and disappears into the liquid, Claire- who is the original cause of all of Doyoung 's concern, disappears from his thoughts. All that matters to him now is that you speak with him again and forgive him for his impulsive words . He wants to assure you that you aren't a bait , at all.
"Just hear me out, please. I promise. " he says, "if you don't talk to me, I'll try to be your friend. I assume you don't want that."
You sigh , pressing a hand to your face, "Okay, spill. And be quick. I have club work."
Doyoung nods, a small smile forming on his lips. He leads you under a bushy tree nearby, sitting down on the stone bench constructed there. You follow suit. "I'm sorry for telling Claire that we're dating but I was in a critical situation at that time, okay?"
You frown, "That's all you had to say? You aren't here to persuade me into fake dating you so you could make Claire jealous?"
Gosh , Doyoung , why do you keep forgetting your main motive of talking to y/n?
He blinks at you awkwardly, "Primarily, yes. But now that you've said it...it does sound like a good idea. "
You deadpan. Your eyes close as your lips heave out a tired sigh. Just when you thought he was here to actually talk to you and not about Claire.
"Fine ,whatever. Just don't be a creep or I'll bury you alive." You huff.
Doyoung giggles as his eyes curve into cute little cresent moons.He has a pretty smile , you catch yourself thinking.
He scoots over closer to you ,pinching your cheek. "Okay ,madam. I won't creep you out but I cannot guarantee that I won't flirt with you . I have a thing for Slytherin girls, you know.", He winks.
Your cheeks heat up involuntarily.
"Bye. I have work." You get up, walking away hastily.
"Bye! See you tomorrow at The Three Broomsticks," he calls out behind you,"Babe."
You'd never smiled so wide in your life.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
Your part time job at The Three Broomsticks has never felt so much like a blessing than right now - when Kim Doyoung casually sits on the floor with you and helps clean the utensils.
"Are guests rare on weekends?" Hs asks as a white cloth floats around in the air, drying up the freshly washed utensils.
"They're less in the morning but it gets very crowded by sun down. Aunt Rosmerta joins me by that time." You reply.
Doyoung nods ,his eyes glaring at the white cloth when it falls at his feet. "Wingardium Leviosa. " he mutters and the cloth goes back to doing its work, while Doyoung carefully guides it using his wand.
"When do you have to go back?" You ask, purely out of curiosity as to why he is so into the role of your boyfriend when no one is even watching. You would rather die than admit it , but you liked this attention. A lot more than you thought you would.
"Whenever you're done. A good boyfriend accompanies his girlfriend ,right?"
Oh, the beating of your heart that suddenly picks up its speed at his words. A combination of words you'd never thought you'd hear in this lifetime, from anyone at all.
"Yeah,whatever. " you whisper under your breath.
Doyoung giggles ,leaning forward toward you , "Why are so shy ,y/n?"
"I'm not shy." You smack his forehead, "You're just being a creep."
Doyoung fake gasps, clutching the left side of his chest and blinks his eyes as if he were tearing up. "Ouch ,y/n,how could you say that to your own boyfriend?"
You roll your eyes but the smile on your lips doesn't disappear.
Before either of you could reply , the door of the pub clicks open and you immediately get up , dusting off your clothes , ready to welcome guests. Doyoung, who is very new to this , tries to mimic your careful, calculated actions.
"Hello, welcome to the Three Broomsticks-" your words are cut off when you see Claire , as glamorous and confident as ever, walking toward the both of you. Your heart sinks. You feel betrayed , annoyed even ; just the way little children feel when their favorite toy is taken away from them and given to someone else and Claire has, in fact, had a history of taking away a lot of your favorite toys when you were kids.
"Good morning, Doyoung," she greets him with the prettiest smile but it fades away as she turns to you, "You too ,y/n."
"What do you want?" You ask her, rather terse in tone.
She tilts her head , her bright red tinted lips sending a flirty smile in Doyoung's direction, "I'm here to see my friend Doyoung and well ,his new girlfriend. "
You scoff - since when has Doyoung become her friend? Last you checked, Doyoung wasn't even sure she knew him.
"Since when have you and Doyoung been friends, Claire? That's some news to me." You say.
Claire glares at you, "Well, I've always liked Doyoung. Too bad a dumb girl like you got to him first. I shouldn't have waited for him to approach me first , right?"
Doyoung - who until a minute ago was genuinely mesmerized by Claire's unexpected visit is now turning to frown at her. "You can take him if you want. I don't mind." You suggest ,turning away from them.
"Yayy, Doyoung ,you heard your girlfriend? Come on , let's go to the candy shop and enjoy there! It'd be so much fun!" Claire pulls at his blue-black muffler. He backs away a little. The image of Claire he had in his head was ..well, different from this arrogant , possessive woman in front of him. He feels disappointed but also relieved?
"Um - actually I'd rather stay here and help y/n, " you snap toward him faster than light , "I dislike candies anyway. Sorry, Claire."
When Claire's mouth gapes with surprise, Doyoung leans backward and pulls you into him , arm wrapped around your shoulder and chin resting on your head. Your heart hammers hard against your chest as all your senses blur away , only the feeling of Doyoung's warm body pressed against yours is what keeps you grounded to reality.
Its fake, y/n , get yourself together.
"Fine. " Claire growls and stomps away, mumbling curses under her breath.
The moment she walks out of the door ,you shove Doyoung away , "What the hell are you doing! She invited you to hang out with her and you let the chance go!"
He blinks at you , puzzled as if he is finally coming back to his senses. "Oh - oh ,its okay. I'll get another chance since she apparently likes me too. Don't worry about it."
I'm not worrying about it , you idiot , I'm happy about it , you want to say to him. But there are some words you'd rather never say out loud.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
"Where are we going?" Doyoung huffs , jogging down the lush green hill leading straight to the Forbidden Forest. Fear is evident on his face , and it's rather amusing to see him like this.
"The Forbidden Forest, obviously," you say , pointing at the tall, strong tress that patiently await your arrival into the forest.
"What? Y/n, that's against the school rules. It's way past sun down now!" He hisses but still keeps jogging beside you.
You grin at him, "Says the man who apparates in broad daylight!"
The woods are as cold and spooky as ever , but not unfamiliar. To you atleast. You often come here when you need to get away from everyone else. You would sit at the top of the tallest tree, the soft breeze blowing away all your worries along with it. And the creatures in the forest have never bothered you anyway. You don't know why you are bringing Kim Doyoung - your pretend boyfriend- to a place that holds so much importance to you and is like your escape from the world, but this place was the first and only one to come into your mind the moment Doyoung said you should choose the location for your next 'date'.
"So how do we get up there?" Doyoung and you stand at the roots of the tree. He looks up at the branches in awe and you look at him with admiration - when he's not running his mouth around uselessly everywhere ,he's not that bad to be with , you realize.
"We apparate , you idiot." Wrapping a firm hand around his arm, you apprate to the topmost branch of the tree, the wind suddenly knocked out of your lungs at the sudden shift. You laugh a little.
"Wow, you're breaking rules." He comments. He doesn't bother to remove your hand from his and neither do you - so you end up sitting there , shoulders touching and breaths matching.
"You know when I first met you , I almost took you for a Ravenclaw. If it hadn't been for your robe, that is." He says , looking at the beautifully lit school building that seems to be floating around near the horizon. This is more magical than any magic he's ever been taught , he thinks , he'd never seen Hogwarts this way - so far away yet so close, so peaceful, so breathtaking. The starry sky acts like a beautiful backdrop and your soft hand wrapped around his arm makes him ten times more attentive to every sound and every sight. He wants you to never let go - even if Claire or anyone else somehow appears out of nowhere.
"I get that a lot, actually. " you chuckle , "and ironically ,I almost mistook you for a Slytherin."
Doyoung looks at you in amusement. What a peculiar coincidence!
"But now that I think about it, it doesn't matter what kind of traits you show. The sorting hat doesn't put just traits into consideration- it puts in your will too. You belong where you want to belong. Nowhere else." He replies.
You stare at him, and get embarrassed at how wonderfully close he is to you right now. All your life ,this is what you've craved; this warmth , this closeness and fake or not, you're thankful for it.
"Wow, that's some deep words, Kim Doyoung. I didn't know you had them in you." You comment.
"Hey, why can't you call me something cute?" He whines , "Kim Doyoung is too formal."
You pinch his cheeks, adoration pumping through your veins for the man in front of you. "Okay, I'll call you Dodo then. "
He is left wide eyed again, his face red with embarrassment. He never took you for the observant type at all.
"I heard Jaehyun call you that."
The moon shines at your face , highlighting your features like no make up ever could. He notices your hooded gaze and the happy stretch of your lips and the strands of hair that sway with the wind. He leans in closer , "Hey, now that I look at you up close , you're not that bad to look at."
You're not that bad to look at either, Dodo.
 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
Jaehyun has this annoying habit of tapping his wand against the table when he is studying , and he has never even tried to rectify himself whenever you call him out several times.
"Can you stop that? I'm trying to study. " you groan in a quiet voice.
The library- much to your dislike - is packed with people this afternoon. Yellows and reds and blues and green , all of them seem to have decided to use the library in the afternoon today of all days.
"Yeah. Sorry. " he says and puts his wand down, flipping the pages of his notebook carelessly ,"but um -y/n, can I ask you something?"
Looking up from your Potions book , you nod , "Yes, of course. "
Jaehyun shifts and gulps ,visibly worried and anxious about whatever he is about to ask you. It's not like him to ever be so nervous around anyone. He was usually very uptight and spoke only when spoken to. This is very new.
"How long are you and Doyoung going to continue this fake dating thing on for? It's been half a month already." He asks.
Now it's your turn to be nervous.
"I-I don't really know. It depends on how fast Doyoung is able to get Claire to go out with him. I guess." You reply with an awkward laugh, "I hope the day comes soon."
You'd been so immersed in fake dating Doyoung all along, trying to spend every waking hour with him , taking care of him, laughing at his stupid jokes that you almost forgot everything was just a show to get Claire to go out with him. And as Halloween comes closer , you are sure the end of your supposed relationship is coming closer too. Your heart breaks at the sudden reality check. Like a glass vase thrown on a hard ,wooden floor.
"Okay, don't tell Doyoung I asked you about it - " he pauses when you both hear a woman's voice from behind you , startling the two of you.
"Hello, dear cousin. " Claire says with a big smile. Her arms are crossed in front of her chest, robe loosely tied around her body,"What are you doing in this stupid library on your birthday, y/n? Shouldn't you be celebrating with Doyoung ?"
Her words have never slapped you as hard as they do right now. She's been mean to you for almost half your life , but this time it hurts worse. You've always been insecure about your birthday, and Claire knows it. She knows how much you hate bringing attention to yourself and you'd rather get some small gifts from your parents than big gifts from people who you barely know. And she's now using all that against you.
"Or did he not bother to ask you, just like all of your former friends?" She smirks.
You know that feeling when there's a small wound on your body and a single contact to the wounded area hurts unbearably? That's what her words made you feel like. Sick and pathetic.
But you don't let it surface on your face. You muster up all your courage before speaking up, "Claire, are you so jealous of me dating Doyoung that you're bringing up past incidents to make yourself feel good?"
Claire is left astonished by your new found boldness and for the first time in forever, she doesn't comment back at you after you turn on your heels and walk away from the scene.
You are far too weak and slow to actually walk down to the Forbidden Forest, so you settle yourself on the top floor of the astronomy tower. The cold ground under you feels weirdly comfortable and the ticking of the grand clock helps you calm down your nerves.
Claire has never treated you like an equal in your entire life and you've tried so hard to ns like her always . To fit in to her ideas of an interesting person. She was your sister, she is your sister yet you've never despised anyone as much as you do now. And to imagine that Kim Doyoung, your Dodo might end up dating her just makes you feel sick to the stomach. Jealousy is an intense feeling but so is hatred.
You hear quick footsteps walking up the stairs and by impulse, you point your wand in that direction,"Expelli-"
"Hey, hey. Don't 'expelliarmus' me. I'm just here to celebrate my best girl's birthday. "
Kim Doyoung stands in front of you , hands occupied with bags of delicious candies and sweets. He smiles at you sheepishly as you call him over to sit beside you.
"Why didn't you tell me its your birthday today? This is all I could manage in a span of fifteen minutes." He complains ,placing the bag softly in your lap, "Happy birthday, y/n."
You smile , a little embarrassed but thankful still , "Thanks. Jaehyun told you?"
Doyoung nods ,scooting over closer to you. In presence of so much space on the floor, he somehow manages to almost cuddle with you in a small corner of the place. Your heart is no longer sitting in the cage of your chest ; it's escaped and landed onto Doyoung's palms ,giving him full freedom to do whatever he wanted with it.
"Doyoung ,I..um.."
"Yeah?"
Words , oh ! words have never been your forte. The only thing you were good at was actions - to express, to show , to communicate . That's all you've ever known.
So you lean in towards his face and place a chaste kiss on his lips. It lasts for a fraction of a second but your lips are left burning with the desire for more. More of him, more of this.
But when you see his face once you pull away, your blood runs dry. For a moment, you think so you see a flicker of happiness which quickly gets replaced by coldness, frustration, some degree of anger.
"Y/n, you know I like Claire!" He says , separating himself from you. Your body feels bare, "This was all for her. How could you ever think doing this would be a good idea?"
No,it wasn't for Claire. It was barely an excuse to bother you more, to see you roll your eyes at him , to spend time with you, but as Johnny says , his ego is too big to accept his liking towards you and not Claire.
He gets up.
"I-I will be leaving now."
He hasn't completely put a full stop to your fake relationship, he hasn't even said anything much yet but you know that he's left not just the astronomy tower, he's left you. All alone. As they always do.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
Only the heavens know how you've barely managed to make it through a whole week avoiding Doyoung. The tear stains on your pillow , the muffled sobs in the washroom, the torn pages of your notebook are the only witnesses of your turmoil. For everyone else, you were still y/n, the girl who barely talks to anyone . And maybe, that's everything you'll ever be no matter how hard you try.
It is Hogsmade Weekend and Halloween which means you'll be packed with guests at the Three Broomsticks. It's a good thing ,you hope, it'll help keep you distracted from any painful thoughts and memories.
The cups and glasses and bottles dance around you as you put the chairs in place, your wand doing most of the work while you quietly murmur spells. It feels rather abnormal not having Doyoung around to help you. It feels too quiet ,even though the quietness is familiar to you.
A faint click sound echoes in the room and you immediately snap to look at the main door.
"Y/n?" Doyoung's head gently pokes in through the small gap in the door, “Happy Halloween.”
Your heart stops beating for a solid second, brain going fuzzy with a mixture of fear, excitement and relief. You want to run towards him and jump into his arms like how people do in those muggle movies but you restrain yourself; since it's not your place to do that. Not after you'd kissed him out of nowhere a week ago.
"Y-yea?" You stutter nervously, dragging a chair away from the table just to make it look like you are busy with work.
"Can we talk?"
Doyoung has always been very persuasive and he knows exactly what to say at a given instance. He's a Ravenclaw, after all. So he finds his way towards the table ,shyly so , and he pulls a chair for you to sit on ,"I won't take long, I swear."
You nod and sit. Better to be done with it than avoid it. "What is it? Shouldn't you be at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop? Enjoying with Claire and the other cool people?" You ask.
Doyoung gulps ,"Yes, I was there a minute ago. But it's too noisy there. I don't like it." And it's too dull without you.
"Okay. What did you want to talk about ?"
He plays with the buttons of his warm looking purple coat, his eyes shifting from the tablecloth to the glasses of gillyweed water to his fingers - anywhere but you.
"I'm sorry about running away that night. It was wrong of me," he begins, "And I regret it. I really do." "When I went back to the dorms, all I could think about was you and how much I loved hanging out with you and how pretty you look even when you're not trying and how desperately I wished you'd kissed me a second longer that night so I could have kissed you back. Because I really wanted to. "
When you start to reply , he shushes you, "No, it's not Claire that I want. Maybe it never had been because I don't even know her! But I know you and I think you're the coolest person in Hogwarts. I cannot love Claire, who I know nothing of but I can love you. I want to love you. If you'd let me."
You stare at him , your tongue suddenly losing all it's sense of functioning. Your eyes bore into his ,and you see it - the sincerity, the adoration, the desire. And you realise it has always been there. Just the two of you were too stupid to see it earlier.
"Okay. I guess." You reply , rubbing the back of your neck shyly. Your cheeks are tinted red but you put no effort in hiding it anymore, " I'm sorry, I don't know how dating works. What am I supposed to do?"
Doyoung giggles , tenderly taking your face in his hands, "Just do whatever you want to. It's just me."
"I really want to kiss you. " you whisper and he immediately tilts his head such that his lips easily captures yours. The kiss is warm and cozy yet fierce. His hands are locked on either side of your face while your lips perfectly mold around his, as if they were meant to be that way since the inception of time.
You don't believe in miracles , given your magical allegiance but you do believe in fate and soulmates. You believe that there's someone for everyone out there - no one knows how or when they'll cross paths with you, but they will surely do it one day. Because no force can stop one from getting the love you deserve. It's just like a string - there's one person at each end and you're so thankful that it is Doyoung that happened to be at the other end of your string.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
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artcupcakes · 2 years
Note
TIUR UWYSKDK YOUR FIC!! ART!!!!
DESTROYED BRUHHH
Yes I can already see a lot of improvement in this new fic you wro— YOU USED THE *fist slam PROPER NOUN THING!!!
You worked on your parsing a lil bit, I can see that! I don’t know if you meant it but the contrast between blue screens and “golden light” is metaphorical too?? YEAH I LOVE METAPHORS
“His” no I’m dead op I’m deaaaddd. I use “his” one single time in my fic, that is, when Dallas is being pulled away in that flashback sequence.
“A Mastermind controlling the Controller,” very potent. Hits hard. I like.
In-character internal dialogue: Bain sometimes uses the same word in a different way in a single sentence. Makes a bunch of jokes about gold, too.
OHHH READING BETWEEN THE LINES. Feelings of uselessness, self-depreciation, the works. “For treating him like something valuable,” mirrors stuff that they steal!
(Ch. 3 of my fic says ‘it made him feel important, like he mattered.’ What do they say about great minds, op??)
“RELEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIVING AND SURVIVING” 👏 STANDINNG OVATION FOR THIS LINE YEAH SAY IT LOUDER
Yooo Bain never thought they’d be meeting like this;; he wanted it to go down differently but he’s stuck with this insteAD
So I see a small grammar thingy here.
“It’s” = “it is” while “Its” = akin to “his” or “hers.” If it is a name you’re referring to, it’s “(Name)’s.”
Unless the name ends in the letter S, then just add an apostrophe to show possession/ownership. “Dallas’ medic bag.” (Pronounced ‘Dallas-is,’ kinda stupid)
The use of the one curse word (that I avoid typing) is,, VERY in-character. Bain says that one a bunch, also the one that starts with S. He says the F-bomb on two occasions only. How do I know? ..uhhhhh
MEDIC IS A GOOD NOUN. But also WAIT he learns into his touch? Oh and you use both “protect” and “tumultuous” two times, might want to try “keep” and “conflicting” as substitutes???
HE TELLS HIS NAVIGATOR. WAAAAAAAA
See the word “visions?” It should be “vision’s,” because “his vision is blurry.” No apostrophe suggests that he’s a seer and his visions are fuzzy. Maybe whitehouse should be White House? it’s a building like Taj Mahal, but proper nouns are capitalized? Idk actually I’m just speaking from memory here
HIS PARTNER!!! Mmmmm unlabeled is a juicy word hheeee
A SOFTER ALTERNATIVE!!! DUDE I— YOOOOOOOOO
“All the world's money and yet what Bain wants is forever out of reach,” CLAP CLAP CLAP money can’t buy you happiness, homie!! FAVORITE LINE best summary yeha.
Next line you switch to a ripple metaphor instead? It’s a little jarring and such because you already had something going! The pond?? You didn’t mention a pond yet,, not to say that the metaphors AREN’T good, just that they would be better separate!
I will give you my all, is that a reference to the song? YES there was this thing I wrote before, where Bain gets betrayed by his partner in my friend’s AU. Quote: “he gave him his all, but his all wasn’t enough.”
The tunneling mental vision;; THE FOCUS is like AAAhhhhh it hurts so much,, possessive promouns hhhehhhhuurrttsss but GOOD yeah ANGST
ONly thing that could make it better is that he doesn’t want to burden Dallas with a love confession cus he knows that he’s dying. Wouldn’t that be cruel?
HAHAHAHA *maniacal laughter* KEEP IT UP OP I love getting emotionally demolished
Oh boy this is a long one, so buckle in for the responses under the cut!
Hey I can learn from critiques >;3
Also yes "His" >:). Bain has always been a bit possessive of his crew, so why not bump that shit up.
Also so glad you the little in between the line stuff ^u^
I would say in my defense that I have ADHD and it causes my head to get think farther ahead from what I'm typing(I've spelt 'the' as 'teh' to give an example of this word scrambling) and also it was 3am.
But I edited this shit afterwards. Also that doesn't explain my misuse of comma's later. So I aint got no excuses. XD
But hey apparently I also just don't use hyphens as I should as pointed out by my friend and Beta, so I'm still learning stuff. An example of this was me realizing that I forget spacing a lot. Such as gun smoke being gunsmoke(like the tv show) or each other as eachother.
So I'm still getting the hang of writing with a lot more revision and editing. This is the "first" time I got critique on writing I cared about. (First being the feed backing I'm getting from both this fic and The Revenant Mastermind).
My mom(An English Teacher) tried her best; sadly I'm my daddy's daughter. But I try and that's all that matters lmao
Your avoidances of cursing, whether it be for professional reasons or do to personal taste, is admirable. Like damn that's a lot of self control.
Yeah proper nouns are capitalized, hence why I capitalized Roles, Skills, and other such things in reference to characters such as Medic, Controller, and Mastermind. I guess I just missed that one. Oh well at least it's just the White House and nothing important XD
Partner is vague word I love. Also it has yeehaw energy!
He's so close yet so far from what he want's, like a lot of things in his life. How could I not write that line about the money.
Oh god I never even thought about metaphor set ups, payoffs, and consistency. FUCK! ...Time to go back to one of my almost finished WIPs. Damn.
Listen, I Will Give You My All is technically a Bain song(Technically also a Cloaker song by that logic too but shhh). Also I Will Give You My All 2017 finally after forever dropped on Spotify so I got a little hyped.
The Good Angst PainTM
I kinda implied that he didn't want to confess his love do him dying, but I guess it didn't come across well. Big L on my end lmao.
Me and the boi's emotionally devastating each other with glee
But yeah! Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate it so much when people leave comments or kudos and stuff! Plus you're very nice and polite about your critiques. A rare combo indeed!
So I hope you have a love day ^u^
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whitestaghere · 3 years
Text
I'm here - Edmund Pevensie x reader (Chapter 5)
Here's chapter 5 everyone! I hope you guys enjoy. Sorry I took a while with this one. Had a busy schedule. Enjoy ❤️
Edmund's Pov
I don't get it..
"Ed?"
How does she have such an effect on me?
"Ed?"
The way she blushed looking at me.
"ED??! "
Gosh relax Ed. You're loosing it.
"HELLO?! EARTH TO EDMUND?!" Peter yelled flicking me on the forehead.
I snapped out of my thoughts whincing at the pain.
"Ouch! What was that for?!
Peter squinted his eyes at me.
"Sorry. I wasn't listening.." I furrowed my eyebrows, still rubbing my forehead.
"Yeah, I noticed.." he gave me a look. "Well as I was saying, while YOU were busy daydreaming.."
I rolled my eyes at him, "yeah?"
"You know y/n's last name right?"
"Yeah, y/l/n.."
"Okay then," he stood up. "That's all we need. We could ask around if anyone is familiar with y/l/n and find her whereabouts."
I nodded my head.
It was that easy. I looked at y/n sitting in the living room laughing along with Susan and Lucy.
She'd be so happy.
Smiling to myself I spoke up, "well then.. what are we waiting for?"
With that, we got ready to leave.
Y/n's Pov
"We'll be off now.." Peter walked in along with Edmund.
Lucy shot up blocking Peter's path, "where are you both going?"
Peter ruffled her hair, "to go find y/n's home." He looked at me, "don't worry. We'll find it. It's actually easier than it seems."
I smiled nodding my head, "I'll come with you.."
Peter looked over at Edmund as if asking for permission. To which Ed replied with a slight nod.
"We'll join too, I'll go get my coat," Susan got up walking to her room.
Soon enough, we all set out.
Walking around, we would stop once in a while to ask anyone if they'd heard of me or my family before.
Eachtime.
Every response would be a no.
Shrugs, apologies, sorrowful looks.
You can imagine.. this going on for a couple of hours.
Timeskip >>>
My bad luck, was it?
We came back. With absolutely no luck.
Everyone looked so exhausted.
I couldn't help but feel bad. For taking them around, only to come back with no hopes of finding my home.
Looking down at my feet I mumbled a sorry, though loud enough for them to hear.
Susan layed a hand on my shoulder, "it's okay.. maybe today wasn't our day. But we'll find it for sure.."
Peter only smiled walking towards his room, "go wash up.. let's get dinner and take some rest."
Everyone nodded in agreement. Well.. all except for me.
I just turned around the second they made their way to their rooms. Hearing them say that it's okay, just made me feel more guilty.
Lost in thought I didn't even hear someone call my name. Feeling a light tap on my shoulder I turned around.
Edmund.
"Hey, is everything alright?"
I nodded my head slowly.
He came a bit closer.
"Doesn't seem like it is.. are you sure?"
I looked away. Feeling a slight pain at the back of my head.
He came closer observing my face.
For a second, locking eyes together I could see the concern in them. I backed away a little only to have my back hit the wall.
Edmund held my hands chuckling, "careful there love.."
Again. Oh that nickname.
Looking down at our intertwined hands he began to trace small circles with his thumb. He brought his eyes back to me and smiled.
Slowly, he leaned in.
Oh. My. God. Is. H-
My face began to heat up.
I tried turning away to hide my blush.
Suddenly the pain in the back of my head increased. I couldn't help but whince.
Holding my head in my hands I felt my vision get blurry.
Edmund backed away at once and grabbed my shoulders.
"Y/n? Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah, just a h-headache.."
Looking back at him everything was in blur.
"Ed I-"
My vision turned black.
Edmund's Pov
She held her head, clearly looking in pain.
I began to panic.
"Y/n? Are you okay?
"Y-yeah, just a h-headache.."
She looked back at me, "Ed I-"
And suddenly she collapsed.
Falling straight into my arms I tried to steady her.
"Y/N?! Y/N? What's wrong?!!"
No response.
"PETER, SUSAN, LU!! HELP! FAST!!"
Lucy came in first, "what's wr-" she widened her eyes in shock, "Y/N!!!"
I lifted y/n, Lucy me helping me lay her on the couch.
"SUSAN, PETER!"
The two came in just after, "what happened??!," Susan rushed toward the couch kneeling down in front of it.
"Is she sick?" she put her hand on her forehead trying to check her temperature.
Peter went back into the kitchen coming back with a glass of water.
I gently patted her cheek, "y/n? Y/n? Please wake up... come on.. please."
Peter sprinkled some water on her face gently. Lucy held my arm, "is she going to be okay?
I couldn't form any words. All I wanted was for y/n to wake up.
"She'll be okay Lu, she's just unconscious.." Susan put a hand on my shoulder.
Looking at her she gave me a warming smile. She probably sensed the worry in me.
"What happened?" Peter looked at me.
"I don't really know Pete. One second she was fine, but then the next she collapsed. Although she did say she had a headache.."
She moved a little bit whining.
"Take her to Lucy's room.. let her get some rest."
I nodded in agreement slowly picking her up.
Timeskip >>>
Y/n's Pov
Flashback
I found myself in my room. On my bed. I was in the clothes that I had worn the day I ended up at Edmund's house.
Getting up, I observed my surroundings. Walking out of my room I called out for my mom.
"Mom... hey mom?" I saw a note on the kitchen table.
Sweetie if you're reading this, I'm off to your aunt's house. She's very ill. With uncle matt not home, she has no one to look after her. I'm sorry for leaving without telling you, but I didn't want to wake you up. I prepared you food for the week and left some money in the cookie jar. I'll be back by Tuesday morning. Lock the doors and stay safe. I love you - Mom.
I smiled.
Guess I'm alone for the weekend.
Suddenly I heard the sound of my doorbell. Walking upto it I slowly opened it. My mistake. I would never look through the window before opening the door.
My smile dropped the second I saw them.
Claire. Yep my school bully.
She had come along with two of her other friends. Before I could close the door in her face, she shoved her foot between the door.
"Oh not so fast darling.. I'm here to teach you a lesson."
Opening the door, she grabbed my hair and turned me to face her, "who do you think you are.. to talk back to me?" She tugged my hair harder this time.
I whinced in pain.
"Huh? What makes you think you can do that?" the other girls just snickered.
I felt the tears build up. But no, I wasn't going to show that side of me. No. Not today.
Clenching my fist I eyed her. And with a gush of confidence I landed a blow at her stomach.
This was my chance to escape, I made a run for it.
"LITTLE BRAT! GET HER!" I heard her scream.
They were hot at my feet. I ran as fast as possible. But however much I run I feel like their right behind me.
Suddenly one of them grabbed me by my hair again.
Pulling me back I screamed in pain.
"LET ME GO! PLEASE!" As if my day wasn't already stressful enough.
I managed to get my hair out of her grip and set a pace once again.
I ran as far as my feet could take me. Stopping halfway I looked behind me. Letting out a breathy laugh I held my knees panting.
"HEY! GET BACK HERE!"
Oh great. When will this end?
I got ready to run forward only to see one of the girls approaching from the front too.
I couldn't escape.
Looking around in panic, I finally found a way of escape.
Climbing on top of a nearby trashcan, I threw myself over a wooden fence falling into someone's backyard.
I fell knocking my head hard on the ground. I groaned in pain. I tried getting up. But unfortunately couldn't.
My entire body was aching.
Soon enough my vision turned black.
End of flashback.
With a jolt I shot up.
"Ughhh... ah my head," holding my head, I slowly opened my eyes.
"Y/N?! YOU'RE AWAKE!"
"EDMUND!"
Edmund runs upto me, hovering over me and pulling me into his arms.
I threw my arms over his shoulders giggling. He put his weight on me laughing, causing us both to fall backwards onto the bed.
Suddenly all the pain disappeared.
We both looked at eachother laughing.
"You're okay... Y/n, ah I'm so glad you're okay.. I-I-I missed you."
Okay well that was.. a cheesy ending to this chapter xd 😂 And yeah, a pretty long chapter. Well I hope you all enjoyed it <3
To be continued...
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vesuvian-disaster · 3 years
Note
3 for Marcus Aquila; 12 for Hjordis; aaand 4 for Heron (I am greedy clearly lmao)
Marcus Aquila - 3. a report written by your OC’s teacher or mentor
I never thought that that deal I made with Summanus all those centuries ago would lead to something so convenient. This position Lucio put me in has been tedious. Marcus Aquila is uninterested in science, but is very good with money. Ey can do that work for me while I pursue more interesting subjects. 
This plague that Lucio has brought will certainly be interesting to watch. So many dead already in just a few short years. I’ll have my new assistant tally up the cost of some new equipment. An appropriate first task.
                                                                 -From the notes of Quaestor Valdemar
Hjordis - 12. your OC overheard while drunk
Hjordis appears extremely drunk, her arm around another bar patron. “Oh! You wanna have sex. I got ya. Sex is fun and it feels good, right? You get to feel good and someone else gets to feel good and everyone has fun. Let’s go have some fu-” 
She pauses as a third bar patron falls over and bursts out laughing, “Did you see that? That guy ate shit!” Hjordis continues laughing until she fall backwards off her stool. Then she begins giggling on the floor.
Heron - 4. a letter from your OC to their love interest
(I couldn’t help myself, I’m sorry. XD)
[A short letter arrives, written in iridescent green ink on fine white parchment. The handwriting is meticulously consistent all the way through ending with a faintly glowing arcane signature at the end. The letter itself smells of water lilies and citrons. It is accompanied by a box containing a crystal jar filled with a salve that smells strongly of cinnamon and wintergreen.]
My Dearest Samuel,
I know it could be some time before this letter reaches you, as well traveled as you are. I was simply thinking of you. As the season is changing and the days get colder, it makes me feel the need to reach out in some small way. I miss you and I hope you find ample warmth and comfort through the coming Fall and Winter.
To maybe help in some small way, I formulated a liniment for you. I know that the changing weather and your vigorous physical interests leave your joints aching at times, so it is my pleasure to do this for you. I hope it serves you well.
With Love, Heron
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papers4me · 4 years
Text
Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep24
This is a buildup ep for the finale. looks like furuba’s tradition for awkward buildup eps continues as this ep is clearly divided into two parts: machi & zodiac banquet.
-Killing the Vibe (furuba style):
Usually when writers buildup an emotional moment, they either go with it right away or if it is not its time, they slowly dissolve it or gradually redirect the story somewhere else. But the most important thing is that you hold on to the feeling they worked so hard to build but know that it will be dealt with later. Usually this is done with minor visuals such as quick flashback to the main event & the character taking deep breath ignoring it. But it is acknowledged that now it is not the time. Furuba doesn’t do that. If they build high moment & decide it is not the time to continue with it, they drop it abruptly, using the ending ost as a closing sign....which is odd cuz this is not episodic eps but continuing plot. They did it twice now: (a) tohru’s nightmare ep 19. it was treated as cliffhanger, but the next, we opened with yuki’s narrative where we see tohru normal. I know tohru’s issues will be dealt with later, perhaps season 3. But the nightmare moment was left hanging weirdly!! we never saw tohru deciding not to focus on it or anything! then (b) the kyo/tohru moment on stage & the symbolic tearing image ep23. Big moment which I  know will be focused on later. But it is so freakin odd that we see them so normal in their daily activities..as if nothing happened. Not a slight visual hint that either one is troubled... I praised how in ep, 23, they showed tohru face worrying abt bits & pieces here & there. These visual hints connects the plot.. For a moment I thought Cinderella play is a filler!! but I don’t think so, since 3 major things happened (Tohru’s near confession, machi’s opinion of yuki, arisa’s recorded outburst) two of which dealt with this ep. I know they want the focus to be on yuki, seeing that his plotline is moving smoothly without awkward breaks, but why not smooth out the other’s plotline with minor visuals without the jarring jumps. Ending ost is not automatic shifts in continued plot. Oh well, it is a minor thing I felt, no big deal.
-Machi pov is here!:
I never expected to see machi today! nice surprise! So machi is not only lonely, she lives alone! that’s odd & tragic! how can a junior high school student live alone? since when was she living alone? & her mom calling to check on her or insult her or scold her! I never wanted a phone call to end this fast. Machi’s monologue was amazingly done. Rather than describing her feelings to us or stating what we are already seeing, the words came cold.. automatic.. slow.. without much emotions. Exactly imitating how machi feels abt herself. DULL. She never thought abt things such as fave color or fave place. never thought abt anything that requires personality or preferences. The imagery they used while she was walking in the street is epic! It explained her mentality! honestly even if she said nothing around that time while she was walking, the image would’ve done enough! Machi was able to see the change in yuki cuz she was able to sense that yuki too was dull/boring or felt he felt so. Now he laughs, jokes, interacts, & joins outside school activities. Negating the dull persona. Now, it is only her. machi questions if she can do the same but her question comes out loaded with her negativity. Instead of can I do the same? it is “ why Am i here? Her bad habits are pulling her back & resisting the change.
- Since they’re deciding to embark into the romantic aspect of mach/yuki & to further add contrast to his interaction with tohru, machi is shown so struck by yuki’s presence, she falls. Typical romantic moment that I appreciate for machi who thinks she isn’t typical girl. but dull girl. Yuki finding the leaf & being happy that she treasures it adds to his self-esteem as it tells him that he is worthy to be treasured. I love machi’s indecisive responses! It gives her personality! as she is reluctant between denying or telling the truth. She was never in such situation, so she doesn’t know what to do!! blushing red like her leaf, machi didn’t only go with friends, she also learned her fave color! yuki, developing the future boyfriend detective sense like kyo, guessed it that machi likes red. You remember things abt ppl you find interesting! Machi felt that perhaps to yuki she is not dull, but interesting enough to want to learn things abt her!
-Tohru is a grown woman!!!
trust me to take 5sec interaction that involves my girl & write a deep analytic paragraph! Call it building sandcastles out of nothing but I don’t care! XD. tohru deserves some spotlight! I’m a bit disappointed that the scene is shown form a far to include yuki & shiggure..(WHY???. They can have their moment later! let my girl have a screenshot for a change!!) & the art quality is the lowest in the ep, lol & but whatever~~~ let’s focus on the positive side! my tohru bought sth for herself!! tohru who spent her hard earned money on buying candy ingredients for the filthy rich sohma’s instead of paying her tuition fees?!! tohru who wore a worn out swimsuit for school & didn’t see the value in buying new one ?! tohru whose school bag have seen better days as hiro said?!! tohru bough herself a scarf with pompom!!& she’s PROUD!! & she goes & shows kyo!!!! cuz she loves him & cuz in SE01 he was mad she doesn't buy herself stuff & cuz she knows he’ll be proud of her & cuz she want show off her cuteness & get his attention & cuz she wanna tease him!! Did you see my girl deliberately hit him with the pompom??? my girl is feisty!! She teases!! Tohru has this feisty, forward personality that she hides but peeks in certain instances!! Like when she teased kyo that he’s still scared of the stain on the wall..like when she calls him cute later this ep!! I’m so happy for every tiny teeny moment of tohru where she is herself & not the worrying mom or friend, when she is focused abt what she shows & what she wants & right now she wants kyo to notice her! GIRL HE ALREADY DOES! you are killing him already tohru..he’d be dead by now if he wasn’t a cat with 9 souls! XD.
-Yuki is leaving Akito’s side:
coming to the big moment in this ep. Akito is loosing yuki. Not only yuki decided by himself to attend the banquet that he avoided last year, he also talked to akito & forgave him for everything before. Yuki is letting go of the past. Forgiveness is a cure ppl! it’s the hardest achieved cure. it cuts the ties to negativity & free the person from the painful feelings. Akito knows she’ll be loosing a zodiac member soon! she reacts the same way she did with hatori! violently resisting change, violently making a statement that I’m the ruler of you. However, unlike when it was hatori, no one came to her. Kureno stopped her. but the rest went to yuki, to the rebel, to the one who caused her pain & rage. Akito is not only loosing yuki...she is slowly loosing all of them.
- Yuki continues the next step in his growth & frees hatori from his sins. By allowing himself to accept that he is not a helpless victim, yuki was able to see the others plain as well. Before, in his mind, he was the only one suffering, others are cruel, but now, he sees the criminal who erased his friends memories was also suffering all along. Perhaps yuki thinks that akito is suffering too? That’s why chose to forgive her & tell her that I don’t hate you anymore or hold grudge.
Side Notes:
I’m so glad kakeru had so little to do with machi & yuki interaction here. He is a character that demands spotlight & if his role was bigger, machi would disappear, it will be another yuki/kakeru moment. Also, since machi/kakeru parallel aya/yuki, you bet kakeru will be more involved between them in order to get closer to his sister & fix the gap like aya did, so I appreciate the moment of only yuki/machi now as it is unique moment without any parallels involved.
After learning of Shigure’s correct line, I can now see how things would’ve been better for akito, if she learned from yuki’s rebellion. loosing one is less painful than loosing them all, which she will. Shigure was eager for her to be spared the pain. or he might be eager for sth else entirely! but he wants this to end.
Shigure sure wasn’t himself this ep! he was restless & his jokes were all over the place, he nearly caused a misunderstanding between hatori & Mayko. I think shigure is hearing the curse breaking!!!!!
Rin & kyo!!!! I never knew I needed this!!! like last ep, I was celebrating hana & kyo, & the return of kyo & haru!! but rin & kyo is unique duo since it is not a teasing dynamics! it is a we-are-too-similar dynamics! XD
Kazuma is luv!! ugh!! my heart! what a man!! so caring & kind & ever so gentle! look at him going to rin to invite her! no kid should be alone in new years! look at him teasing his son!! look at him out polite tohru! just look at him!!!
I appreciate that the boys (kyo,yuki.haru,momiji) have different body types from each other. however, since kyo’s body changing is mentioned in the story many times, they focused on showing him growing since the 2nd ep of season 2 & more so in the beach arc & they steadily continued ever since!!! this ep, even with the low quality they showed his Adam’s apple & he is taller next to shishio. Also his baggy clothes help defy the lanky art style. With yuki, since his beauty is mentioned in the story, they’ve been focused on his face, giving him HD quality beauty all the time, but not much when it comes to his body. but today, he looked a lil bit older in machi’s scene? I duno if it is the new clothes or they’re finally allowing his body to grow?! I hope so. They are still making him so lanky as his legs were only a bit meatier than machi’s in the fight scene, but hey lankiness is the show’s art style, just look at hatori </3. They focused on making Momiji baby as it is mentioned in the story that he doesn’t look like a highschooler at all, but I swear he looks a bit older this ep!! right???
Speaking of hatori, hello there~ doc~ I never knew I needed hatori in Japanese clothes this much! It hid the lankiness & gave him the adult manly look he deserves!! so hot!!! I heard his grunt in my heart as he took his clothes off! XD. Soyou’re attached to the school sensie now~~ a lit bit worried your filthy buddy is putting hands on her..huh? oh!, if only you knew that your goofy pal is the master mind behind your new love story! I think he knows tho~
I never expected machi to be that cute!!! machi/yuki is so cute!
Rin sleeps sitting...like a horse? rin didn’t feel haru? i thought horses are as jumpy as cats! lol
Tohru & kyo are having quality flirting time with no interference from either shigure or yuki. lol.. shishio is amazing! XD
Kureno has the DVD now..let the war begins!!!
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fasterthanmydemons · 3 years
Note
Dahlia - How does your muse handle themselves at formal events?
Delphinium - What are your muse’s go-to activities in their downtime?
Edelweiss - Is there anything that your muse will refuse to give up on virtually no matter what?
Forget-me-not - Who is someone in your muse’s life that they will never forget and why?
Geranium - How would your muse fare in upper class or “proper” society?
Gorse - How does your muse feel about each season?
Hollyhock - What are your muse’s limits, if any, when it comes to chasing after their ambitions?
Honeysuckle - What does your muse think about marriage?
Hyacinth - What would a symbolic rebirth look like for your muse?
Ivy - Does your muse find themselves overly dependent on something, regardless of whether they actually are or not?
Dahlia - How does your muse handle themselves at formal events?
Oh dear... Pietro... feels an unfortunate need to push against authority, whether good or bad. It could be abusive authority like Hydra or well-meaning authority like Steve’s, he’s still gonna push against it. So... at a formal event, he’d feel the need to... hmm, how to put this... see how informal he can get before someone says something to him? XD He’ll tell jokes, get loud, try to stir things up... all because formal events are supposed to be elegant and sophisticated and proper and Pietro can’t stand it. He’s gotta break out of the mold, heh. Even with what he wears... You’re never getting him to wear a tie and good luck even getting him in a suit at all. Maybe if you make a deal with him and offer him something he wants in return, he might do it. XD
Delphinium - What are your muse’s go-to activities in their downtime?
Listening to music, drumming, running for fun, hiking, weight-training (he actually finds this fun, so it isn’t work to him), and of course spending time with his beloved sister. Or his significant other in verses where he has one. And eating, haha, but he has to eat a lot to maintain his powerhouse body’s needs, so maybe that’s not downtime. I would say he likes games too. You could easily get him to play board games or even rpg-style card games if you can get him to pay attention long enough to learn the rules.
Edelweiss - Is there anything that your muse will refuse to give up on virtually no matter what?
Protecting Wanda and anyone else he loves. He won’t ever give up, no matter how dire the situation is, even if all hope is lost, until his dying breath, he’ll keep trying. That and standing up for the “little guy,” the poor, the less fortunate, the sick, and the elderly.
Forget-me-not - Who is someone in your muse’s life that they will never forget and why?
His paternal grandfather (or at least the man he thought was his paternal grandfather... he was Django’s father, but Django isn’t Pietro’s biological father... but oops he never knew, so... yeah XD). He was a Holocaust survivor, a very wise man, and a very kind man. Despite all that he’d been through and all that he’d seen, he managed to keep his humanity and his empathy. He spent a lot of time with Pietro until he passed away of old age when the twins were four. Even though he was very little, Pietro remembers the stories he’d tell about the types of men who perpetrated the Holocaust, and then the good men who fought against it and to end it. The twins were never kept from such truths, even despite their graphic nature, because it was an important part of their heritage. Pietro really absorbed a lot of what his grandfather told him, and modeled the man he wanted to be when he grew up on those “good men” his grandfather spoke about.
Geranium - How would your muse fare in upper class or “proper” society?
See above, the “formal events” question, heh. Pretty much all of that but then you include stuffy, rich, entitled people? Oh boy. Pietro doesn’t have a very positive view of the rich for a number of reasons, so not only would he feel a need to kindof... jar their comfort world with his boisterous and often uncouth self, but he would also want to make very clear that he was not intimidated by them, nor did he think they were better than him. He’d want to disabuse them of the notion that he’s some vagabond that doesn’t matter. Fitting in would not be a goal of his. XD
Gorse - How does your muse feel about each season?
Pietro likes warmth, so Spring and Summer are great, Fall and Winter suck. Spring and Summer are great because everything is green and pleasant and warm and it’s great weather to go out running in. In Fall, the falling leaves are problematic. If it rains and they stick to the ground, he can’t stop on them. He skids right off the street, haha. Winter is even worse. The cold causes him to need even more food to keep up with the calories it takes for his body to properly keep its muscles warm. And ice is the bane of his existence. He’s skidded on his ass more times than he can count. XD
Hollyhock - What are your muse’s limits, if any, when it comes to chasing after their ambitions?
He won’t step on other people to get there. He won’t hurt others, either physically or just morally speaking. And I would say he also wouldn’t take things or accept offers that are tainted. He wouldn’t accept ill-gotten money, a shady job, or anything that seems to come for free... because nothing is free. That’s part of why he finds it so hard to fit in with the Avengers at first, because he’s just handed this nice job, all expenses paid, access to great medical care (even if he’s scared of it, heh), and food anytime he wants it, and he just wonder what the catch is. So he’s very conscious of what he’s being given or what he’s earning, who’s offering it, and where it’s coming from as far as sources and people. He prefers to get things on his own merits or through his own actions, and he doesn’t want to beholden to anyone who might cause him or Wanda harm. And really, as long as he and Wanda are taken care of, that’s all he wants. “Climbing the ladder” isn’t really what he’s after, just providing for himself and those he cares about.
Honeysuckle - What does your muse think about marriage?
Marriage is a serious deal for Pietro, but it’s kindof the ultimate goal for a serious, long-term relationship for him. He hopes to marry someday, and would prefer to marry before having kids if possible, more because he wants to make sure that there is enough in place legally and monetarily between him and the mother to properly provide for children. Pietro grew up super poor, and he saw how it affected everyone. From his and Wanda’s point of view, it was scary sometimes going without food or not knowing when the next meal would come. But then he also saw his parents stressing out over being able to provide for them. So he came out of that not wanting to jump into having kids without preparing properly beforehand. Marriage is one of the steps involved with that preparation in his mind.
Hyacinth - What would a symbolic rebirth look like for your muse?
I mean... to me, Pietro becoming an Avenger is a kindof symbolic rebirth for him. It’s him moving away from the grudges and false information he’d held onto from childhood and accepting that he might have been wrong, or that things weren’t as black and white as he thought. It’s also a move from being at the bottom with regard to the poor and oppressed of society, to suddenly being privileged and using that privilege to help people like how he used to be. And since my Pietro turn 18 two weeks after Ultron, it’s also a move from childhood to adulthood. So on many levels, becoming an Avenger is a new start and a type of rebirth for him.
Ivy - Does your muse find themselves overly dependent on something, regardless of whether they actually are or not?
I answered this already and said Wanda, or Wanda’s reassurance/approval/etc. So I’ll pick something else he’s dependent on for this one. Being dependent on Wanda is something that is mostly in his head. It’s partly a choice and partly born of trauma. But Pietro is also dependent on food, and that dependence is very real. He really can’t go very long without food before experiencing adverse physical and mental side effects. It scares him a little bit when those side effects start to kick in, and so he’s somewhat always obsessed with eating. Always needing food, being raised poor when food wasn’t always available, and being experimented on when food was used as a weapon for behavior modification is a frightening combination for him. It makes him scared to not have food, and when it isn’t there, he’s afraid it’ll be too long before he can get it again. This results in some amount of overeating on his part, but his metabolism generally takes care of it pretty well.
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greensaplinggrace · 4 years
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Hi! I really liked your other Cloud whump fic and I was wondering if you could do more hurt/comfort! With a claustrophobic!Cloud & maybe a bit of Clarret? Thanks in advance! :)
Barret goes *hard* in this fic, and I’m so sorry for that XD. I actually think he’s the softest character in the whole game, but I kind of wanted to hit their dynamic with a sledge hammer, instead of the delicate chisel and saw I usually prefer. Hopefully it’s still as in character as possible for being thrown into an extreme scenario (that also happens to take place in the beginning of the game when he’s a *lot* more suspic). I hope you like it! :)
*TW for panic attacks and ptsd flashbacks
-If you want to send in a prompt, the guidelines are here!
---
“It’s just down this hall, right?”
“Third door on the left!”
“Yeah, got it. How’s our rear guard looking?”
“Oh he’s looking real fine.”
“Enough with the gossiping!” Barret snaps, racing to catch up with Jessie and Biggs. Behind him the sounds of a fight ring on, but he’s more worried about securing their escape than checking out the merc’s flowing blonde locks. As his own damn team should be, too. “Can we get this door open or not?”
Biggs shakes his head, still working the lock slowly. “It’s seeming less and less likely.”
“Then how the hell are we gettin’ out of here?!”
Biggs curses, yanking his hands away from the door, and stands roughly. He’s quick to pocket his tools, glancing around desperately for another escape. 
“The intel said this was the right way out!” Jessie huffs.
“Well, clearly we got double crossed!” 
“I don’t know, Barret. If we got double crossed, the entire security system would be down on us. Right now it’s just the monsters we picked up outside.”
“Yeah, but-!”
“We’ll discuss this later!” Barret interrupts, trying frantically to think up a fallback plan. They hadn’t been provided with the actual layout of the building. Just some vague instructions with some shady details, and he’s beginning to suspect there’s a lot more going on here than they’re prepared for.
“Well how are we getting out, then?!” Jessie demands, leaning forward with her hands on her hips. She’s got a scowl in place, hair bouncing wildly as she pulls back and whips her head around to look at the door again. “I could blow it up, I suppose-”
“No bombs, Jessie!”
Barret snorts. “If the security ain’t on our asses now it would definitely be up in arms once we blow a hole in the wall.”
“Has everybody forgotten that we’re fifty stories up?! Blow out the wall and the ladder goes too!”
“So we kick the door down!” Now that is an idea Barret can get behind. “No explosions and no destruction! We could just-”
“Don’t.”
As soon as the voice comes out from behind him, Barret realizes the sounds of fighting have stopped, and he knows exactly who Biggs and Jessie are smiling at. He scowls, turning to see the merc standing next to them as if he’d been there all along, expression blank as ever.
“What?” Barret snaps aggressively. He glares for equal measure, but the merc is entirely unfazed. Freakish as always, face cold and distant. It sends shivers down Barret’s spine.
This is a man that can’t be trusted, he knows. Someone who doesn’t care for anything. No emotions or fears, throwing himself into life or death situations like it’s a job - like it’s a game. Instead of an ongoing fight for their planet’s very survival.
“Kicking the door will trigger the alarms as well,” he says, and Barret snorts in response.
“And how would you know that?” Maybe he’s the damn double crosser. Playing at the friendly mercenary while sucking innocent people in need dry of money. Hell, maybe he still works for Shinra.
Maybe Tifa was wrong.
The merc blinks at him for a moment, expression fluttering strangely, and it makes a different kind of uncomfortable feeling settle in Barret’s gut.
Just like he said: shifty. Shifty as all hell.
But Barret trusts Tifa’s judgement. Trusts that she’s got Avalanche’s best interests at heart, despite her doubts, so he pushes the feelings aside and greets his teeth against the surge of wounded pride.
“Then how the hell else are we gettin’ out of here, Mr. Expert?” Though he can’t quite keep the mocking tone from his voice. Hell, it’s not like the merc gives a shit anyway.
“The elevators.”
“The elevators?”
The arrogant little shit gives him a look like he’s lost a few brain cells just being in the same vicinity, and Barret has never been hit harder with the urge to punch a smug look right off someone’s smarmy face. Luckily for the merc, Jessie speaks before he can follow through with it.
“This building doesn’t have any working elevators,” she says, “our inside man told us they were all down due to-”
“He lied.”
“Oh come on!” Biggs explodes, “So we really did get double crossed!”
“I’m telling you if he’d betrayed us he would have triggered the alarms!”
“Hey!” Gaia, sometimes Barret feels like the dad of the world’s oldest teenagers, “Enough, we’ll talk about this later, okay? When we ain’t seconds away from getting caught with our pants down.”
“He wasn’t double crossing you, he was lying,” the merc points out unhelpfully, and he’s got Jessie up in arms again just like that.
Barret cuts an irritated hand through the air to silence them, then looks pointedly at the merc. “Where are these elevators?” He asks calmly. Because he’s got a team to keep safe, and if Jessie and Biggs are able to can it about their double crossing inside man, then Barret can sure as hell take the merc’s lead for a few minutes until they’re all out of harm’s way.
The merc gives a sharp nod that practically screams military before turning to backtrack down the hallway. They follow him over fallen monster bodies and the charred remains of some beast, struggling to keep up as the blonde basically dances over the corpses he’d cut down. For someone so small the kid sure moves fast, and he’s turning abruptly down another hallway before they can do anything about it, disappearing from view.
There’s a beat as Barret turns the corner where he thinks - knows - that this is it. This is the moment of betrayal. The merc will be waiting around the corner with a raised sword or a group of Shinra soldiers, ready to end it all.
But then they do turn around the corner, and all he sees is another long, empty hallway with two elevators at the end. Cloud is standing in front of one of them, looking it up and down with a pinched expression, and as Barret finally gets close enough to get a good look at it he knows exactly why.
“Hm,” the merc grumps, and Barret is hard pressed to agree with him, “I thought they’d be bigger.”
He hears Biggs bark a laugh out from behind them, Jessie springing to their side at the same time. She grins lasciviously and gives the merc the type of once over that should never stray from the pages of a porn magazine, and Barret almost has a mind to reprimand her about sexual harassment in the workplace before he remembers who the hell he’s dealing with.
“There’s no way we’ll all fit,” she crows delightedly.
Barret sighs. “Well we’re going to have to make it work.”
“No way,” Biggs laughs, “we’re splitting up-” he raises his hands defensively against Barret’s look of reproach, stepping towards the elevator furthest from him with an apologetic wince, “-no offense man but I’m not keen on dying squeezed between your 700 pounds of pure muscle and Jessie’s knife elbows.”
Barret opens his mouth to argue, but before he can Jessie jumps over to the same elevator, babbling a mile a minute. “If we split it evenly we won’t be in any danger, alright? We’ll protect each other. Biggs and I are both average sized, so we’ll go together, and you can go with Cloud! Since you’re big and he’s tiny.”
Barret doesn’t even have to look at the merc to know he’s burning holes in them at the words, but he barely manages a cut off “you can’t-” before they’re both piling into their elevator and waving smug, cheery goodbyes through the quickly narrowing doorway.
And then they’re gone.
Barret scowls at the descending elevator, but the short, irritated breath released next to him has his eyes shifting to the merc. He looks stoic as always, only slightly more tense than usual, but Barret swears he heard the guy sigh.
“Let’s go, then,” he says, stepping into the small space of the second elevator.
“I’m the one calling the shots here, merc.”
“Whatever. Just get in, we don’t have all day.”
Barret’s lips thin angrily, but he refrains from responding. Instead he shoves himself into the elevator, jostling the other man roughly in the process, and slams a fist against the button for the lower floors. 
“I’d better get my money this time.”
Barret grits his teeth, breathing out slowly as he focuses on the doors sliding closed in front of him. “You’ll get your damn money, merc,” he hisses, “now shut the hell up.”
The merc doesn’t even flinch at his tone. He steps further back into the elevator, away from Barret’s bulk, and crosses his arms in front of his chest. He lowers his head, too, and Barret is reminded of the time he’d fallen asleep during their first mission not too long ago. 
He scowls. “You’re a damn freak, you know that?”
The merc just ignores him. Probably already conked out, despite the rattling, rickety descent.
Barret snorts at him and shifts to lean against the wall. “Some super soldier,” he grumbles to himself, watching the numbers tick down excruciatingly slowly.
It’s about when they reach level fifteen that the merc actually opens his eyes again, looking up at the numbers with a slight frown.
“What, this ride goin’ too slow for you, Shinra?”
He turns to Barret with narrowed eyes, opening his mouth to say something, and is almost immediately cut off with a jarring click of the teeth as the elevator slams to a stop. He staggers, eyes widening in alarm, but Barret doesn’t see much more before he’s sliding gracelessly to the elevator floor.
“Shit!” Barret bellows, slamming a fist against the worthless thing as it rattles violently, knocking his sideways, before finally calming down again.
He huffs, hauling himself to his feet, and stares at the elevator doors incredulously. “What the hell was that?!”
There’s no answer from his current companion, but Barret could care less at this point. This is not a good place to be trapped, he knows. They’ve essentially put themselves in a kill box and served themselves up to the police, who could literally be arriving at any moment.
“We’ve got to get the hell out of here,” he grunts, squeezing his fingers between the doors and attempting to pull them open. They screech as they part, grinding against a solid concrete wall, and he kicks at it experimentally. “Shit.”
So much for that plan, he supposes.
He hovers by the door for a second, trying to formulate a solid backup strategy, and for the first time notices the merc’s glaring silence. He hasn’t said anything since they stopped. He hadn’t even moved to help open the doors, and Barret’s earlier suspicions come flying back with the force of a freight train
He tries to keep them at bay. Tries to remind himself that he doesn’t have to like the guy - that Tifa recommended him - but that’s hard to do when it was the merc who led them here and allowed them to get trapped. Who now stands silent and unhelpful behind him, mako eyes glinting in the dim, flickering lighting, like a statue dedicated to everything wrong with the world.
He whirls around, fist clenched and gun raised, ready to tear the traitor apart, only to see wide, vivid blue eyes instead of narrowed challenging ones. A chill, closed off expression and slack lips.
“What the hell?” 
Barret hesitates uneasily, then steps forward and lowers his gun a fraction. The merc doesn’t even blink at the heavy weaponry pointed straight at him.
“Hey merc,” he snaps out, huffing as he still gets no response, “if this is some kind of twisted prank or trap, you’re gonna have hell to pay.”
Still nothing. Barret swallows roughly, gun lowering even further.
“This some kind of weird SOLDIER ritual that I don’t know about?” He asks, but this time the words are weak.
Those are not the eyes of someone planning a betrayal. They look startlingly similar to the eyes of someone having an episode.
He lowers his gun completely, feeling foolish for having raised it in the first place. Even if the merc had been a traitor, bullets in an enclosed metal space wouldn’t have done anyone any favors, least of all him.
He closes his eyes for a second, calming the sting of anger he can still feel in his heart, and opens them again with a clearer mind. Then, for the first time since they’d entered the elevator, Barret takes a good look at the merc. Actually looks at him, like he would one of his own instead of the enemy, and realizes with dawning horror that the kid’s terrified. Fingers white with the pressure of squeezing stark bruises into his arms, eyes wide and shoulders taut like a bowstring. His whole body is screaming discomfort.
How had he missed this?
“Damnit!” Barret curses loudly, and it’s only because he’s looking so closely that he catches the minute twitch of the merc’s fingers at his outburst. The subtle way he leans back, lips parting with short, heavy breaths as the rise and fall of his shoulders becomes harsher.
It’s looking a lot like a panic attack to Barret, but it’s hard to tell with such innocuous cues. The merc would appear frozen in place to anybody who didn’t know better. Hell, he’d probably just appear stoically uninterested.
And he’s completely out of commission. Barret doesn’t think the kid’s even capable of speaking right now, with how tight his muscles are, throat working soundlessly.
“Gaia, you’ve got it bad, kid.”
Barret intentionally softens his stance as he approaches, steps light but telegraphed. Open, easy movements that get him halfway across the elevator before the merc’s gaze snaps to him. There’s a hesitance in the flash of expressions across his face, as if he isn’t quite sure what mask to put on, that leaves a strange sort of vulnerability in the sheen of his eyes.
Confusion. Blank, empty confusion.
Shit. This is worse than he’d thought. 
He should have known - hadn’t even considered -
“Hey,” Barret tries, tone low, and the eyes find his lips like moths to flame, but it’s obvious the merc’s not seeing them.
“Can you hear me, Cloud?” 
Still nothing.
“Can you see me?”
Cloud actually blinks once at that, brows furrowing, and a fraction of the fear fades for a moment, something like recognition entering his eyes. Barret grasps at the opportunity.
“Do you know who I am?”
“Tifa…”
“Tifa?!”
“Tifa’s friend. It’s - Barret,” he gasps, voice raspy, and Barrett reels a bit at the sound of his name on Cloud’s lips.
“Right, that’s me. Do you remember-” and Barret realizes that was the wrong thing to say as soon as Cloud expression changes, entire body snapping to face the solid concrete wall blocking their exit.
His breathing picks up again. Nails digging crimsons crescents into his skin as he staggers away from the walls, spinning in the center of the enclosed space and sucking in air like he’s drowning.
Barrett moves without thinking, reaching out to steady him, but Cloud whirls around with wide, panicked eyes and lashes out. His forearm connects with Barret’s chest in a savage thud, knocking him clean to the other side of the elevator.
“Don’t touch me!” Cloud yells. “Don’t-“ he curls inwards, heaving, and presses himself to the opposite wall.
“Okay.” Barret steadies himself, then raises his hand and gun as a show of peace. “Okay, I won’t touch you. I’m just right over here, and I’m staying perfectly still.”
Cloud shakes his head frantically. “There-there has to be another way out. You- the, the roof-”
“Roof wouldn’t be a good idea.” Especially not with Cloud incapacitated the way he is. And Barret definitely isn’t fitting up there, that’s for damn sure.
“So…so we’re trapped?”
“For now, but it’s probably a simple power outage. We just have to wait.” He leaves it at that, even though it’s almost physically painful to do so.
Nothing he says is going to reassure Cloud at this point, so he just lets the guy tense up against the wall, breathing shakily. He looks an absolute wreck, face wet with tears and hair matted in sweat. Paler than the moon and trembling like a leaf, he appears such a stark contrast to the usual Cloud that Barret almost has a hard time believing it’s the same person.
Except Barret more than anybody knows what PTSD can do to people, and he hates the damn group with a burning passion, but he can acknowledge that any SOLDIER worth a damn has probably got some traumatizing memories locked away.
Maybe Cloud isn’t so unfeeling as Barret had assumed.
But claustrophobia?! It’s a hell of a thing, and Barret would be furious that the kid hadn’t told him if he didn’t know the exact reason why. A leader is supposed to be someone you can turn to - somebody you can trust to always have your best interests at heart - and he’s failed miserably in that department, former enemy or not.
Cloud had been subtle about it, too. Good enough at hiding his reaction that Barret had taken minutes to notice. That’s not even counting the first elevator ride, even though he absolutely should. Nobody sane sleeps like that in an elevator unless they’ve got issues with it, and he damn well should have noticed something was up right then and there.
He’d been purposefully obtuse; willfully ignorant about the truth right in front of him again, and it had nearly cost him a second time.
Of course, the fact that Cloud had been so good at hiding it is a bit concerning, and Barret is beginning to get the sneaking, sickening suspicion that Cloud has been having a lot more of these episodes in his presence than he should be.
And he’s never bothered to help with a single one.
Tifa’s going to have his head for this.
She’s the one who recommended Cloud for the jobs, but Barret doubts she knows a thing about this.
Does anyone?
Barret looks up when he hears Cloud shift, watching on with dread as the other slides numbly to the floor. The look in his eyes is enough to make Barret feel as if he’s been doused in ice water, and the panting is only getting louder, more panicked and sharp. Interspersed with small, terrified whimpers that push at every single protective instinct Barret has. The ones that tell him to keep his family close and to never let them suffer. The ones that usually include Jessie and Biggs and Wedge and Tifa and now, apparently, Cloud.
Gaia, not this damn brat.
He can’t think about this right now, though. Not while one of his team is lying prone on the floor of a kill box that could start running again at any moment, no matter which particular member of his party that person is. So he pushes it all from his mind and focuses on the problem at hand.
He can deal with this later.
“Cloud, hey,” he soothes instead, voice almost a whisper, “I need you to breathe.”
Cloud chokes. Claws at his chest and kicks at the floor, head shaking wildly. “I can’t-!”
“You can.”
“It’s-it’s too small. There’s no air. I-!”
“There is air!” Mako eyes flick to him in surprise, latching on desperately, and Barret continues on in a calmer tone. “I need you to listen to me. There is air in here, but you have to breathe.”
“I can’t-”
“In,” Barret interrupts, waiting patiently through Cloud’s startled, bleary pause for the strangled breath he sucks in afterward. “Count for four seconds and hold...then out again.”
He slides forward a bit on Cloud’s ragged exhale, and pushes even further when Cloud doesn’t protest the movement. He’s watching Barret like a hawk, but Barret has the feeling he’s not seeing much.
“In,” Barret repeats, “and out.”
Cloud struggles to follow the instructions as Barret finally manages to sit directly in front of him.
There’s not a single doubt in Barret’s mind as he grabs Cloud’s hand, guiding it to his chest.
“Breath with me.” He locks eyes with Cloud. Watches fear turn to confusion and distrust, powering right on through it. “In and out,” he instructs, sucking in a long, deep breath to show that there’s air. When he exhales, he watches Cloud do the same, eyes drifting to their overlapping fingers.
It goes on like that for a while, the elevator still remaining stubbornly in place. Cloud’s fear doesn’t seem to fade, but he slowly, methodically works away the panic, breathing in rhythm with Barret until his whole body doesn’t shake on every exhale. Until he’s almost relaxed again, eyes beginning to droop.
The way they sit is almost casual, now. As if they’re chilling on a weeklong vacation and not recovering from being trapped fifteen floors above the ground. With the press of silence between them, the urgency of the moment wearing away, Barret finds himself struck again by the absurdity of the situation.
Cloud Strife. SOLDIER. Ex-Soldier. Mercenary. It doesn’t matter. 
If he told the Barret of even ten minutes ago what they’re doing right now, he’d be laughed right out of the room.
He sighs, ready to pull them back to their feet and forget this ever happened, for the sake of both their pride, and looks over to see that Cloud is shaking. Then he’s gasping, shoulders heaving, and Barret has a brief, panicked second to think Cloud is having another attack before he realizes the other is crying. Actual, tearing sobs that wrack his entire frame as he crumples in on himself like a marionette with its strings cut.
That heated, protective surge of anger that he’s only ever felt for his team instantly comes back in full force, and Barret doesn’t even think before he’s pulling Cloud against him. Wrapping his arm around the smaller figure and pressing Cloud’s face to his shoulder, carding his fingers through soft, downy hair.
Cloud shakes against him, fisting desperately at his shirt and burrowing violently against him like the touch is too little. Not enough. And Barret tries to hold him tighter; to contain it all as it all comes spilling out of him. Loud, reckless weeping and the desperate need for comfort.
And as they sit there, Cloud cradled in his arm, Barret gets the feeling that they may never recover from this, after all. But damn the pride and the image and the stupid, ridiculous facade. Like hell is he going to let another one of his family suffer for any longer than they have to. Even Cloud. Especially Cloud.
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adozentothedawn · 3 years
Text
Winx Club Rewatch Log Part 13 (The Secret of the Lost Kingdom)
j/ The movie is already lying to me! Writing the end my ass, this isn’t even midpoint.
I don’t know how to describe my feeling at not being able to resist singing along with the music.
I’m very weirded out by the change of Bloom’s voice actress. Not that she’s bad, it’s just jarring.
Hey so, can I request more of Hagen? Give me a show about that guy. No actually, give me a DnD campaign with guy!
j/ They are dangerously close to showing some fairy titty with the new transformations.
The 3D animation in general is… kind of weird. Not really a fan. Then again the animation is not going to get better from here from what I remember anyway.
j/Faragonda really looked at this guy’s place and was like ‘Damn, this is how the bitch lives now?’
They really shit all over the designs of the young headmasters didn’t they xD Also I think I figured out why the ages don’t fit, it’s a kid’s show and little kids think people at 50 are probably the same as people at 80. It’s still weird.
Oh fuck, what did they do to poor Riven’s hair?!
Really, the Winx are the only ones graduating? Did all others in their class just give up after all the shit going down?
Where did the kitty come from? I’m asking cause I want one.👀
What happened to Griselda’s head? No one else has so fucked up proportions. Also Riven is terrifying. The 3d animation is always bad but for some of them it’s absolutely fucked. I won’t comment on it anymore but just know that it’s always on the back of my mind.
So I might have a slight girl crush on Daphne. So now she had a butch girlfriend who was the apprentice of Hagen the Smith and she beat up Oritel to prove herself worth of Daphne. This is now canon, I absolutely make the rules.
I like the shadow represantion of the ancient witches, it would just be way more effective if we hadn’t already seen them five million times.
They really did Riven dirty in this movie, and honestly that’s probably where my bad picture of him before rewatching the show came from. This movie just really shits all over him, and I guess I get why since they need to make that scene later make sense, but I’m still sad. So I now decided that he’s so pissed in this movie because his borderline abusive father demanded he join the family business and told him that his education is pointless anyway, so now he’s bitter and grappling with the idea of just leaving his family behind. Again, I make the rules.
Griffin got a sword! Damn, very sexy. Also I appreciate the diagetic narrator. Love me those.
From the one scene we get of a class it really seems like all their classmates, including Myrta decided to repeat a year. Also Palladium and his swords are also very sexy.
Bloom like “You cheating on me? No? Great, in that case whatever your secret is we’ll deal with it together later and I trust you.”
They set up the cat allergy thing and paid it off. My compliments, this absolutely works.
Sky’s knight lady is very hot. Swords, telling a king to get off his ass, uniform, yeah no, vibe on point.
j/ Talking to the camera: Yeah we lied, we want more money.
Honestly, this was kind of anticlimactic. I saw this movie in theaters when it premiered and it was in 3d and I was just super excited, so maybe my expectations were a bit high here but still. It was meh. Some really fun ideas and moments, but overall kind of mediocre. On to season 4! Wich I remember really not liking, so we’ll see if it’ll grow on me now.
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sparklingchan · 3 years
Text
Mischief Managed || Kim Doyoung(NCT 127)
Pairing : Reader(fem.) X Doyoung
Word count : 7k+
Warnings : A few cuss words here and there, gets suggestive towards the end, not proof read I’m sorry :(
Genre : Fluff, a hint of angst , romance, Hogwarts au, fake dating au.
Description: You are forced to befriend Kim Doyoung under unexpected circumstances but as two lonely souls meet, you find yourself enjoying his company a little too much.
A/N : I had the idea for this fic while I was travelling but I was too lazy to actually write it until recently. Harry Potter aus just never seem to bore me no matter how many times I write them ( it’s fate at this point XD)
Hi, dumblr please don’t EAT MY GODDAMN POSTS. Thank you.
This is for the #neohalloween evented hosted by @nct-writers​ <3
Enjoy!
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Doyoung is bad at taking criticism. Not even sulky bad but angry, tantrum throwing bad. He'd rather be slapped than criticized. Metaphorically, of course.
"What do you mean she won't go on a date with me?" Doyoung hisses ,his voice an octave lower than usual. The bedroom consisting of three noisy boys suddenly falls silent at his words. For the first time in forever.
Jaehyun shifts in his place , the soft mattress dipping under his weight. He looks at his friend full of concern. "Look , you're not the only person trying to ask her out. I heard that some Gryffindor boys were trying to shoot their shot this morning. And that's just the beginning."
Doyoung clenches his blanket into his fists, "Claire is mine. They can't have her."
Johnny scoffs from his bed , his eyes never leaving the book he had been reading from the past one week, "Are you sure the sorting hat did a good job by putting you into Ravenclaw? That pride of yours sure does sound like Slytherin to me."
"Oh shut up. That's not even the point right now. I need Claire to go on a date with me. It's not a matter of interest anymore, it's a matter of pride. I will not back down just because there's competition." Doyoung shoots back.
The boys' room erupts with Johnny and Jaehyun's laughter, their beds shaking with vibrations and their voices probably disturbing the people sitting outside in the Ravenclaw common room. But it's been a long time since either of them have cared for what other people say. Ever since the three boys met on the Hogwarts Express six years ago , they've been inseparable, finding a home , a family in each other. And as time passes by, they're only formulating a stronger bond , unbeknown to the rest of the world.
By the time Jaehyun and Johnny come down from their laughter high, Doyoung is already throwing a fit , muttering under his breath , and clutching his blanket like his life depended on it. Typical angry Kim Doyoung.
"Everything else is fine, Dodo, but does Claire even know you?" Jaehyun asks, fanning his red face.
"Of course not , Jae. But in the sea of all the other boys ,she'd obviously notice our Doyoung first!"
Doyoung sucks in a deep,frustrated breath, reaching under his pillow to find his wand - Alder Wood, Dragon heartstrings core (11 inch) - his one true best friend.
"Aguamenti." Doyoung murmurs, ponting his wand at them. With a big splashing sound , a stream of water squirts out from the end of the wand , wetting everything that comes in contact with it - including Jaehyun and Johnny and everything else they possess.
That night , as the two boys try to dry themselves and the rest of their belongings, Doyoung stares up at the wooden ceiling, carved beautifully into swirls and waves and flowers ,he wonders why his friends think he wouldn't be able get Claire to go out with him, why did they make it seem so hard when it really wasn't.
His ego feels hurt, injured even. Maybe Johnny is right - maybe Doyoung is more Slytherin than Ravenclaw, but it didn't matter anymore. Because the Slytherin princess Claire would be his by the time Halloween arrives, no matter what and his ego and pride would be restored.
Or at least that is what he had initially planned.
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Everyone has that one subject they truly hate with every fiber of their being. They might not be particularly good or bad at it , but they often wonder the significance of this immeasurably disliked subject in their lives. For Doyoung, it is the potions class.
Brewing potions, remembering the recipes, knowing the job of each ingredient seemed too heavy a job for a divination loving man like Doyoung. Potions is way too practical, way too boring.
"Psst, Jae." The class must have been going on for about barely ten minutes when Doyoung decides he's had enough and that he would rather get in trouble for disturbing his friends.
"Jae, I'm bored. Johnny is in quidditch practice too." Doyoung pokes Jaehyun's back with the end of his wand. The latter squirms in his seat, subtle enough to not disturb anyone in the class, who unlike a certain Kim Doyoung were attentively listening to the professor.
"What?" Jaehyun turns back only enough to meet Doyoung's bored gaze.
"I think I'm going to ask Claire out today. During dinner. What do you think?" Doyoung whispers.
Jaehyun shakes his head , putting his quill down on the table, "Are you sure? You guys haven't even talked properly yet."
Doyoung stays silent for a few seconds because yes, Jaehyun is right. He doesn't even know what she likes , where is she from, who her friends are but he is willing to take the risk. For someone as beautiful as Claire, Doyoung would risk the whole world.
"I mean I can try, right?"
There's a sudden scoff escaping from your lips - whose name Doyoung never bothered to ask - sitting next to Jaehyun, the green of your robe hinting at your belongingness to Slytherin. "You're stupid, Kim Doyoung. Claire is not going to go out with you. Especially not when you're being such a creep." You say, your eyes fixed on the professor and your quill writing notes in quick movements.
Creep? Did you just call Doyoung a creep?
"Y/n, it's none of your business." Jaehyun rolls his eyes , "Stay out of it."
"Why? Is Mr.Snowflake here too egoistic to face the truth?" You turn around to look at Doyoung, a smirk finding it's way to your lips.
Doyoung clenches his fists, nibbling at his bottom lip as anger fills him up like water filling up in an empty jar; quick and to the brim.
"I don't remember asking for your opinion, " he says, then bitterly adds, "Miss Y/n ,who no one happens to care much about."
The sound of scratching of quills and quiet mutter of spells fills the air for a few seconds before you say something.
"I'm not giving you my opinion, it's just an advice. From first hand experiences. Many men have tried to win Claire over yet only a few of them have ever succeeded. " you say, "And boys like you often tend to seek her only because she's good looking so she actively makes sure to avoid your kind. ,"
Jaehyun looks at you ,stunned, "How do you know all that? Are you guys friends?"
Doyoung is not sure what to say anymore - he's as confused as Jaehyun is, maybe a tad bit more. For someone he'd properly talked to for the first time today, you sure do have a lot to say about his personal choices and ambitions. Big words do not faze him anymore.
"No , we're not friends." You giggle, "I'm her cousin. You almost couldn't tell, right?"
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"It's finally Hogsmade weekend again. I thought I was going to suffocate in that stupid common room of ours." Johnny sighs , waddling towards his bed and slumping down like a little boy.
"Yes, I also need a cup of butter beer the first thing we arrive there." Jaehyun says, "What about you, Dodo?"
Dodo ,on the other hand is far too gone in the sea of his thoughts to pay heed to what his friends have to say. His eyes are on the patterns of the ceiling but his mind is with Claire and mostly with you, who he unintentionally might have offended today during potions class. Doyoung didn't have any particular interest in you per se but as Claire's cousin, it is important for Doyoung to be accepted by you first. You might be a know-it-all ,annoying and ghostly but he needs to befriend you again, start everything from scratch. And who knows ,if he got lucky enough, you'd put in a word or two on his behalf to Claire.
"What's he thinking about?" Johnny whispers to Jaehyun, "Did something happen?"
Jaehyun shrugs, "Usually, I'd say he's thinking about Claire but today,I'm not so sure."
The next morning is as noisy as all of their Hogsmade mornings have been. Doyoung only remembers hearing Jaehyun's yells and Johnny's giggles and the Hufflepuff girls singing a beautiful Winter song on the journey to Hogsmade village.
No matter how hectic it is, he has always liked these weekends the best.
"Have they changed their services to self service or what?" Johnny asks ,tapping the marble surface of the table in the Three Broomsticks, "Where's Madam Rosmerta?"
Doyoung shrugs ,his eyes scanning the unusually quiet room. He realises that the only company they have is the empty chairs and tables and the flying bottles of water emptying themselves into small glasses. "Should we just grab our drinks and put the money on the counter?" Jaehyun offers.
Before either of them could answer, the main door of the room slams open, urgent with force and the three boys see you rush inside, panting and huffing and murmuring. Your hair is messy and your clothes are disheveled, yet Doyoung thinks you look...different. Different from what you look like at school at least. Better ,even.
"I'm sorry I'm late. We weren't expecting guests so early. I hope I-" you stop mid sentence when you realize Doyoung and the other two boys were the only ones in the pub, "Oh. It's just you three."
"Yes,y/n, it's just us. Can you get us three butterbeers please?" Jaehyun says.
You sigh with disappointment. A 'hi, y/n, how are you?' would have been nice but then again when has anyone ever bothered to greet you with so much sweetness? Jaehyun and you are study partners , to say in a way. You never bothered to befriend him and he never bothered to do the same so that's just how its been since first year - studying together in the library and pretending the other person doesn't exist under normal circumstances. You liked it that way but sometimes, just sometimes you did wish Jaehyun tried to treat you in a more friendly way.
"What's she doing here?" Doyoung ,who is genuinely taken aback by your presence, asks.
"She works part time here. Madam Rosmerta is a family friend of hers." Jaehyun answers.
If Madam Rosmerta is a family friend of yours then she must be a family friend of Claire too, Doyoung connects in his head, and Claire's name somehow ignites a fire of enthusiasm within him.
He drags his chair across the floor and gets up , walking toward the counter where you're working. A little nervous Doyoung is , but he still manages to start a conversation with you, "Hey, y/n ,right?"
You swiftly twirl your wand around in the air , and ten cups of butterbeer and gillyweed water present themselves on a tray. You turn away from him to clean up the other plates , "What do you need?"
"I um..wanted to apologize for the insensitive comment I made yesterday. We started off on the wrong foot, I'm really sorry." He says, rubbing the back of his neck. Autumn is starting to set in slowly, but Doyoung feels the sweat sticking to his skin as if it were a hot summer morning.
You pause for a second. What was he apologizing for? You honestly couldn't recall and whatever it might have been, you are sure that it wasn't worse than what your other classmate have said before ; which is why you don't remember Doyoung's supposed insensitive comment.
"It's fine. Don't worry about it, " You say, "I've had worse, actually."
Doyoung's heart drops - there is no phrase more pain inducing than the one you'd just spewed out so carelessly. And for some god forbidden reason, Claire suddenly slips out of his conscience mind.
"No, no. I want to start anew. Be your friend." Doyoung insists, leaning against the cold wooden counter.
You sigh, "Are you sure that's what your intention is? Because I don't think so. "
Doyoung scowls, "Of course that's my intention. What else would it be, y/n?"
You swing your wand and three glasses of butterbeer arrive directly in front of him. His eyes widen for a split second but he bounces back quickly.
"Just say that you need help with Claire." You sigh.
Oh,right ,Claire. Shit how could I forget? Doyoung feels silly.
"I mean...in a way yes. But that's for the later part. Let's first be friends, yeah?"
You shake your head , "If I help you out with Claire ,will you stop trying to be my friend?"
You absolutely despise yourself at times like these - when you are trying so hard to push people away when they're only trying to befriend you (for whatever reason it might be). You're so lonely yet so afraid of attachments that you always tend to do this. The same repeated routine. You hate it. You sometimes wonder what it would feel like to be in Claire's place, to be loved by everyone, to have people lining up just to take you out on one date . But it would never happen, because Claire is Claire : the Slytherin Princess and you are just you..someone who has barely ever talked to more than one person at school.
Doyoung gulps and then nods, "Okay. I will." Because befriending a Slytherin outcast will never be more important than scoring a date with the Slytherin Princess.
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The Hogwarts Library is most empty during noon, something which you've concluded with years of experience and getting shoved out of your seat by your classmates who are way above you on the social ladder.
"So, " Doyoung finds a comfortable seat opposite to you , his hands fiddling with the pages of his diary, " how have you been?"
You give him a tired smile, "Can we get straight to point? I hate casual conversation. "
Doyoung snickers, "Wow, aren't you approachable today."
You lean back into your chair , eyes scanning Doyoung's face for any signs of regret . You'd never been the warm, bright sunshine kind of a person and you have accepted it without much protest. But of course, people take a lot of time to grow used to your sharpness and more often than not, people walk away even before you soften around them. It's a survival mechanism, you always convince yourself.
"What do you want help with? Do you want to know about her interests or past relationships or something else ?"
Doyoung pouts, his mind filling up with all sorts of ideas to impress Claire. It's like he's hit a jackpot by meeting you.
"I want to know what I have to do to gain Claire's interest. Be her friend and then eventually, a boyfriend, if I'm lucky enough." He suggests.
"First of all ,you need to stop gawking at her from afar. You need to start conversations with her ,no matter how short. She likes it when people approach her first." Talk about having a big ass ego.
"Okay, noted." One quick wave of his hand and his quill is immediately noting down sentences in his diary, " You seem to know her quite well. You guys are close, I am assuming."
You and Claire used to be close. Used to. In the past tense. As children you were inseparable, but as you slowly grew up, she realised how boring and uncool you were and that you belong to the shadows while she belongs in the spotlight. She's not tried to talk to you first for a long time now. But you weren't about to explain all of this to Doyoung, who is visibly smitten by your estranged cousin so you just shake your head , "No, not anymore."
Your ears perk up at the unexpected sound of approaching footsteps towards you and before you could ask Doyoung to relocate to a more secluded area, you hear her loud and clear voice.
Claire.
"Oh, hey, Doyoung!" She greets the man in front of you, walking upto his side. Her shiny shoes creating a tip-tap noise against the floor, and the green of your robe almost feels dull as compared to her bright one.
When her eyes fall on you,  her mouths twists as if she had one of those stupid vomit flavored chocolates. "What are you doing here, y/n?" She sneers at you.
If you could ever get a hold of the invisibility cloak, the first thing you'd do is slap this bitch right across her face. She has always had this sense of superiority , even when she's never done anything quite as heroic or deserving of that fame. And it infuriates you even further when you see Doyoung freeze in his seat, eyes glued to Claire's face.
"We were studying. I was about to leave now anyway." You mumble , gathering your books and tucking them under your arm.
When Doyoung hears your chair drag across the floor , he snaps out of his trance.
Why were you leaving? You promised you'd help, why couldn't you put away your past tensions and deal with it?
"Hey, where are you going?" He grabs your arm out of the blue, sending a wave of shock jolting through your body.
You immediately pull your hand back, "I'm hungry. I want to eat something."
Claire glares at the two of you and how suspicious your behavior is , you'd always been weird but she never took Doyoung for the weird kind at all.
You quickly jog away from the scene , cheeks tinted red.
Doyoung suddenly comes with a horrendous idea and he knows you'd hate it but in the heat of the moment, this feels like the only sane idea to make you stay and help him . He looks at Claire directly in the eye ,making sure to keep his voice as loud as possible so you could hear it too,
"Y/n and I are dating."
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The red, orange leaves rustle under your feet , disrupting the otherwise silent walk back to the Slytherin dormitories. A cold wind blows and you tighten the muffler around your neck.
"Y/n, I've been looking everywhere for you. "
And there is that leech again, making sure you don't come to have a single second of peace in your already hectic daily lives. For the past one week, Kim Doyoung has latched himself onto you like a leech latches to it's host. Wherever you go, he goes. It's maddening.
"I told you to stay away from me, Doyoung! Our deal is over. " you yell at him , your feet picking up a faster pace.
Without even looking back, you know that he is groaning under his breath, the look of hopelessness evident in his otherwise sparkling eyes.
"Our deal was that you help me. You're not helping me out at all! You're treating me like I'm invisible." he replies.
Just how I'd been invisible for years to you, you think.
"I didn't agree to be a bait in this stupid love game of yours. You literally pushed me down the cliff to save yourself. " you say. You feel a sudden gush of wind on your face and Doyoung is standing right in front of you - inches away, instead of a few feet behind you.
You gasp, "You apparated! Kim Doyoung, this is against the school rules."
Doyoung bites down on his lower lip, throat growing dry with anxiousness. He couldn't explain why - he'd apparated before within the school grounds and it's been okay then why is he feeling dizzy all of a sudden? But on second thoughts, maybe it wasn't the apparition that caused the dizziness, maybe it was the spooky possibility of you hating him for lying about you two dating that triggered it. And like salt dissolves in water and disappears into the liquid, Claire- who is the original cause of all of Doyoung 's concern, disappears from his thoughts. All that matters to him now is that you speak with him again and forgive him for his impulsive words . He wants to assure you that you aren't a bait , at all.
"Just hear me out, please. I promise. " he says, "if you don't talk to me, I'll try to be your friend. I assume you don't want that."
You sigh , pressing a hand to your face, "Okay, spill. And be quick. I have club work."
Doyoung nods, a small smile forming on his lips. He leads you under a bushy tree nearby, sitting down on the stone bench constructed there. You follow suit. "I'm sorry for telling Claire that we're dating but I was in a critical situation at that time, okay?"
You frown, "That's all you had to say? You aren't here to persuade me into fake dating you so you could make Claire jealous?"
Gosh , Doyoung , why do you keep forgetting your main motive of talking to y/n?
He blinks at you awkwardly, "Primarily, yes. But now that you've said it...it does sound like a good idea. "
You deadpan. Your eyes close as your lips heave out a tired sigh. Just when you thought he was here to actually talk to you and not about Claire.
"Fine ,whatever. Just don't be a creep or I'll bury you alive." You huff.
Doyoung giggles as his eyes curve into cute little cresent moons.He has a pretty smile , you catch yourself thinking.
He scoots over closer to you ,pinching your cheek. "Okay ,madam. I won't creep you out but I cannot guarantee that I won't flirt with you . I have a thing for Slytherin girls, you know.", He winks.
Your cheeks heat up involuntarily.
"Bye. I have work." You get up, walking away hastily.
"Bye! See you tomorrow at The Three Broomsticks," he calls out behind you,"Babe."
You'd never smiled so wide in your life.
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Your part time job at The Three Broomsticks has never felt so much like a blessing than right now - when Kim Doyoung casually sits on the floor with you and helps clean the utensils.
"Are guests rare on weekends?" Hs asks as a white cloth floats around in the air, drying up the freshly washed utensils.
"They're less in the morning but it gets very crowded by sun down. Aunt Rosmerta joins me by that time." You reply.
Doyoung nods ,his eyes glaring at the white cloth when it falls at his feet. "Wingardium Leviosa. " he mutters and the cloth goes back to doing its work, while Doyoung carefully guides it using his wand.
"When do you have to go back?" You ask, purely out of curiosity as to why he is so into the role of your boyfriend when no one is even watching. You would rather die than admit it , but you liked this attention. A lot more than you thought you would.
"Whenever you're done. A good boyfriend accompanies his girlfriend ,right?"
Oh, the beating of your heart that suddenly picks up its speed at his words. A combination of words you'd never thought you'd hear in this lifetime, from anyone at all.
"Yeah,whatever. " you whisper under your breath.
Doyoung giggles ,leaning forward toward you , "Why are so shy ,y/n?"
"I'm not shy." You smack his forehead, "You're just being a creep."
Doyoung fake gasps, clutching the left side of his chest and blinks his eyes as if he were tearing up. "Ouch ,y/n,how could you say that to your own boyfriend?"
You roll your eyes but the smile on your lips doesn't disappear.
Before either of you could reply , the door of the pub clicks open and you immediately get up , dusting off your clothes , ready to welcome guests. Doyoung, who is very new to this , tries to mimic your careful, calculated actions.
"Hello, welcome to the Three Broomsticks-" your words are cut off when you see Claire , as glamorous and confident as ever, walking toward the both of you. Your heart sinks. You feel betrayed , annoyed even ; just the way little children feel when their favorite toy is taken away from them and given to someone else and Claire has, in fact, had a history of taking away a lot of your favorite toys when you were kids.
"Good morning, Doyoung," she greets him with the prettiest smile but it fades away as she turns to you, "You too ,y/n."
"What do you want?" You ask her, rather terse in tone.
She tilts her head , her bright red tinted lips sending a flirty smile in Doyoung's direction, "I'm here to see my friend Doyoung and well ,his new girlfriend. "
You scoff - since when has Doyoung become her friend? Last you checked, Doyoung wasn't even sure she knew him.
"Since when have you and Doyoung been friends, Claire? That's some news to me." You say.
Claire glares at you, "Well, I've always liked Doyoung. Too bad a dumb girl like you got to him first. I shouldn't have waited for him to approach me first , right?"
Doyoung - who until a minute ago was genuinely mesmerized by Claire's unexpected visit is now turning to frown at her. "You can take him if you want. I don't mind." You suggest ,turning away from them.
"Yayy, Doyoung ,you heard your girlfriend? Come on , let's go to the candy shop and enjoy there! It'd be so much fun!" Claire pulls at his blue-black muffler. He backs away a little. The image of Claire he had in his head was ..well, different from this arrogant , possessive woman in front of him. He feels disappointed but also relieved?
"Um - actually I'd rather stay here and help y/n, " you snap toward him faster than light , "I dislike candies anyway. Sorry, Claire."
When Claire's mouth gapes with surprise, Doyoung leans backward and pulls you into him , arm wrapped around your shoulder and chin resting on your head. Your heart hammers hard against your chest as all your senses blur away , only the feeling of Doyoung's warm body pressed against yours is what keeps you grounded to reality.
Its fake, y/n , get yourself together.
"Fine. " Claire growls and stomps away, mumbling curses under her breath.
The moment she walks out of the door ,you shove Doyoung away , "What the hell are you doing! She invited you to hang out with her and you let the chance go!"
He blinks at you , puzzled as if he is finally coming back to his senses. "Oh - oh ,its okay. I'll get another chance since she apparently likes me too. Don't worry about it."
I'm not worrying about it , you idiot , I'm happy about it , you want to say to him. But there are some words you'd rather never say out loud.
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"Where are we going?" Doyoung huffs , jogging down the lush green hill leading straight to the Forbidden Forest. Fear is evident on his face , and it's rather amusing to see him like this.
"The Forbidden Forest, obviously," you say , pointing at the tall, strong tress that patiently await your arrival into the forest.
"What? Y/n, that's against the school rules. It's way past sun down now!" He hisses but still keeps jogging beside you.
You grin at him, "Says the man who apparates in broad daylight!"
The woods are as cold and spooky as ever , but not unfamiliar. To you atleast. You often come here when you need to get away from everyone else. You would sit at the top of the tallest tree, the soft breeze blowing away all your worries along with it. And the creatures in the forest have never bothered you anyway. You don't know why you are bringing Kim Doyoung - your pretend boyfriend- to a place that holds so much importance to you and is like your escape from the world, but this place was the first and only one to come into your mind the moment Doyoung said you should choose the location for your next 'date'.
"So how do we get up there?" Doyoung and you stand at the roots of the tree. He looks up at the branches in awe and you look at him with admiration - when he's not running his mouth around uselessly everywhere ,he's not that bad to be with , you realize.
"We apparate , you idiot." Wrapping a firm hand around his arm, you apprate to the topmost branch of the tree, the wind suddenly knocked out of your lungs at the sudden shift. You laugh a little.
"Wow, you're breaking rules." He comments. He doesn't bother to remove your hand from his and neither do you - so you end up sitting there , shoulders touching and breaths matching.
"You know when I first met you , I almost took you for a Ravenclaw. If it hadn't been for your robe, that is." He says , looking at the beautifully lit school building that seems to be floating around near the horizon. This is more magical than any magic he's ever been taught , he thinks , he'd never seen Hogwarts this way - so far away yet so close, so peaceful, so breathtaking. The starry sky acts like a beautiful backdrop and your soft hand wrapped around his arm makes him ten times more attentive to every sound and every sight. He wants you to never let go - even if Claire or anyone else somehow appears out of nowhere.
"I get that a lot, actually. " you chuckle , "and ironically ,I almost mistook you for a Slytherin."
Doyoung looks at you in amusement. What a peculiar coincidence!
"But now that I think about it, it doesn't matter what kind of traits you show. The sorting hat doesn't put just traits into consideration- it puts in your will too. You belong where you want to belong. Nowhere else." He replies.
You stare at him, and get embarrassed at how wonderfully close he is to you right now. All your life ,this is what you've craved; this warmth , this closeness and fake or not, you're thankful for it.
"Wow, that's some deep words, Kim Doyoung. I didn't know you had them in you." You comment.
"Hey, why can't you call me something cute?" He whines , "Kim Doyoung is too formal."
You pinch his cheeks, adoration pumping through your veins for the man in front of you. "Okay, I'll call you Dodo then. "
He is left wide eyed again, his face red with embarrassment. He never took you for the observant type at all.
"I heard Jaehyun call you that."
The moon shines at your face , highlighting your features like no make up ever could. He notices your hooded gaze and the happy stretch of your lips and the strands of hair that sway with the wind. He leans in closer , "Hey, now that I look at you up close , you're not that bad to look at."
You're not that bad to look at either, Dodo.
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Jaehyun has this annoying habit of tapping his wand against the table when he is studying , and he has never even tried to rectify himself whenever you call him out several times.
"Can you stop that? I'm trying to study. " you groan in a quiet voice.
The library- much to your dislike - is packed with people this afternoon. Yellows and reds and blues and green , all of them seem to have decided to use the library in the afternoon today of all days.
"Yeah. Sorry. " he says and puts his wand down, flipping the pages of his notebook carelessly ,"but um -y/n, can I ask you something?"
Looking up from your Potions book , you nod , "Yes, of course. "
Jaehyun shifts and gulps ,visibly worried and anxious about whatever he is about to ask you. It's not like him to ever be so nervous around anyone. He was usually very uptight and spoke only when spoken to. This is very new.
"How long are you and Doyoung going to continue this fake dating thing on for? It's been half a month already." He asks.
Now it's your turn to be nervous.
"I-I don't really know. It depends on how fast Doyoung is able to get Claire to go out with him. I guess." You reply with an awkward laugh, "I hope the day comes soon."
You'd been so immersed in fake dating Doyoung all along, trying to spend every waking hour with him , taking care of him, laughing at his stupid jokes that you almost forgot everything was just a show to get Claire to go out with him. And as Halloween comes closer , you are sure the end of your supposed relationship is coming closer too. Your heart breaks at the sudden reality check. Like a glass vase thrown on a hard ,wooden floor.
"Okay, don't tell Doyoung I asked you about it - " he pauses when you both hear a woman's voice from behind you , startling the two of you.
"Hello, dear cousin. " Claire says with a big smile. Her arms are crossed in front of her chest, robe loosely tied around her body,"What are you doing in this stupid library on your birthday, y/n? Shouldn't you be celebrating with Doyoung ?"
Her words have never slapped you as hard as they do right now. She's been mean to you for almost half your life , but this time it hurts worse. You've always been insecure about your birthday, and Claire knows it. She knows how much you hate bringing attention to yourself and you'd rather get some small gifts from your parents than big gifts from people who you barely know. And she's now using all that against you.
"Or did he not bother to ask you, just like all of your former friends?" She smirks.
You know that feeling when there's a small wound on your body and a single contact to the wounded area hurts unbearably? That's what her words made you feel like. Sick and pathetic.
But you don't let it surface on your face. You muster up all your courage before speaking up, "Claire, are you so jealous of me dating Doyoung that you're bringing up past incidents to make yourself feel good?"
Claire is left astonished by your new found boldness and for the first time in forever, she doesn't comment back at you after you turn on your heels and walk away from the scene.
You are far too weak and slow to actually walk down to the Forbidden Forest, so you settle yourself on the top floor of the astronomy tower. The cold ground under you feels weirdly comfortable and the ticking of the grand clock helps you calm down your nerves.
Claire has never treated you like an equal in your entire life and you've tried so hard to ns like her always . To fit in to her ideas of an interesting person. She was your sister, she is your sister yet you've never despised anyone as much as you do now. And to imagine that Kim Doyoung, your Dodo might end up dating her just makes you feel sick to the stomach. Jealousy is an intense feeling but so is hatred.
You hear quick footsteps walking up the stairs and by impulse, you point your wand in that direction,"Expelli-"
"Hey, hey. Don't 'expelliarmus' me. I'm just here to celebrate my best girl's birthday. "
Kim Doyoung stands in front of you , hands occupied with bags of delicious candies and sweets. He smiles at you sheepishly as you call him over to sit beside you.
"Why didn't you tell me its your birthday today? This is all I could manage in a span of fifteen minutes." He complains ,placing the bag softly in your lap, "Happy birthday, y/n."
You smile , a little embarrassed but thankful still , "Thanks. Jaehyun told you?"
Doyoung nods ,scooting over closer to you. In presence of so much space on the floor, he somehow manages to almost cuddle with you in a small corner of the place. Your heart is no longer sitting in the cage of your chest ; it's escaped and landed onto Doyoung's palms ,giving him full freedom to do whatever he wanted with it.
"Doyoung ,I..um.."
"Yeah?"
Words , oh ! words have never been your forte. The only thing you were good at was actions - to express, to show , to communicate . That's all you've ever known.
So you lean in towards his face and place a chaste kiss on his lips. It lasts for a fraction of a second but your lips are left burning with the desire for more. More of him, more of this.
But when you see his face once you pull away, your blood runs dry. For a moment, you think so you see a flicker of happiness which quickly gets replaced by coldness, frustration, some degree of anger.
"Y/n, you know I like Claire!" He says , separating himself from you. Your body feels bare, "This was all for her. How could you ever think doing this would be a good idea?"
No,it wasn't for Claire. It was barely an excuse to bother you more, to see you roll your eyes at him , to spend time with you, but as Johnny says , his ego is too big to accept his liking towards you and not Claire.
He gets up.
"I-I will be leaving now."
He hasn't completely put a full stop to your fake relationship, he hasn't even said anything much yet but you know that he's left not just the astronomy tower, he's left you. All alone. As they always do.
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Only the heavens know how you've barely managed to make it through a whole week avoiding Doyoung. The tear stains on your pillow , the muffled sobs in the washroom, the torn pages of your notebook are the only witnesses of your turmoil. For everyone else, you were still y/n, the girl who barely talks to anyone . And maybe, that's everything you'll ever be no matter how hard you try.
It is Hogsmade Weekend and Halloween which means you'll be packed with guests at the Three Broomsticks. It's a good thing ,you hope, it'll help keep you distracted from any painful thoughts and memories.
The cups and glasses and bottles dance around you as you put the chairs in place, your wand doing most of the work while you quietly murmur spells. It feels rather abnormal not having Doyoung around to help you. It feels too quiet ,even though the quietness is familiar to you.
A faint click sound echoes in the room and you immediately snap to look at the main door.
"Y/n?" Doyoung's head gently pokes in through the small gap in the door, “Happy Halloween.”
Your heart stops beating for a solid second, brain going fuzzy with a mixture of fear, excitement and relief. You want to run towards him and jump into his arms like how people do in those muggle movies but you restrain yourself; since it's not your place to do that. Not after you'd kissed him out of nowhere a week ago.
"Y-yea?" You stutter nervously, dragging a chair away from the table just to make it look like you are busy with work.
"Can we talk?"
Doyoung has always been very persuasive and he knows exactly what to say at a given instance. He's a Ravenclaw, after all. So he finds his way towards the table ,shyly so , and he pulls a chair for you to sit on ,"I won't take long, I swear."
You nod and sit. Better to be done with it than avoid it. "What is it? Shouldn't you be at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop? Enjoying with Claire and the other cool people?" You ask.
Doyoung gulps ,"Yes, I was there a minute ago. But it's too noisy there. I don't like it." And it's too dull without you.
"Okay. What did you want to talk about ?"
He plays with the buttons of his warm looking purple coat, his eyes shifting from the tablecloth to the glasses of gillyweed water to his fingers - anywhere but you.
"I'm sorry about running away that night. It was wrong of me," he begins, "And I regret it. I really do." "When I went back to the dorms, all I could think about was you and how much I loved hanging out with you and how pretty you look even when you're not trying and how desperately I wished you'd kissed me a second longer that night so I could have kissed you back. Because I really wanted to. "
When you start to reply , he shushes you, "No, it's not Claire that I want. Maybe it never had been because I don't even know her! But I know you and I think you're the coolest person in Hogwarts. I cannot love Claire, who I know nothing of but I can love you. I want to love you. If you'd let me."
You stare at him , your tongue suddenly losing all it's sense of functioning. Your eyes bore into his ,and you see it - the sincerity, the adoration, the desire. And you realise it has always been there. Just the two of you were too stupid to see it earlier.
"Okay. I guess." You reply , rubbing the back of your neck shyly. Your cheeks are tinted red but you put no effort in hiding it anymore, " I'm sorry, I don't know how dating works. What am I supposed to do?"
Doyoung giggles , tenderly taking your face in his hands, "Just do whatever you want to. It's just me."
"I really want to kiss you. " you whisper and he immediately tilts his head such that his lips easily captures yours. The kiss is warm and cozy yet fierce. His hands are locked on either side of your face while your lips perfectly mold around his, as if they were meant to be that way since the inception of time.
You don't believe in miracles , given your magical allegiance but you do believe in fate and soulmates. You believe that there's someone for everyone out there - no one knows how or when they'll cross paths with you, but they will surely do it one day. Because no force can stop one from getting the love you deserve. It's just like a string - there's one person at each end and you're so thankful that it is Doyoung that happened to be at the other end of your string.
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