#and frankly they got better characterization than mcu

[kimmycup]

This is why I started playing this game.

❤️🖤❤️

🖤❤️🖤

#iron husbands #that's what i hoped for when I started #and got something different but there is still a lot of witty commentary #and frankly they got better characterization than mcu

[fozmeadows]

race & culture in fandom

For the past decade, English language fanwriting culture post the days of LiveJournal and Strikethrough has been hugely shaped by a handful of megafandoms that exploded across AO3 and tumblr – I’m talking Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Dr Who, the MCU, Harry Potter, Star Wars, BBC Sherlock – which have all been overwhelmingly white. I don’t mean in terms of the fans themselves, although whiteness also figures prominently in said fandoms: I mean that the source materials themselves feature very few POC, and the ones who are there tended to be done dirty by the creators.

Periodically, this has led POC in fandom to point out, extremely reasonably, that even where non-white characters do get central roles in various media properties, they’re often overlooked by fandom at large, such that the popular focus stays primarily on the white characters. Sometimes this happened (it was argued) because the POC characters were secondary to begin with and as such attracted less fan devotion (although this has never stopped fandoms from picking a random white gremlin from the background cast and elevating them to the status of Fave); at other times, however, there has been a clear trend of sidelining POC leads in favour of white alternatives (as per Finn, Poe and Rose Tico being edged out in Star Wars shipping by Hux, Kylo and Rey). I mention this, not to demonize individuals whose preferred ships happen to involve white characters, but to point out the collective impact these trends can have on POC in fandom spaces: it’s not bad to ship what you ship, but that doesn��t mean there’s no utility in analysing what’s popular and why through a racial lens.

All this being so, it feels increasingly salient that fanwriting culture as exists right now developed under the influence and in the shadow of these white-dominated fandoms – specifically, the taboo against criticizing or critiquing fics for any reason. Certainly, there’s a hell of a lot of value to Don’t Like, Don’t Read as a general policy, especially when it comes to the darker, kinkier side of ficwriting, and whether the context is professional or recreational, offering someone direct, unsolicited feedback on their writing style is a dick move. But on the flipside, the anti-criticism culture in fanwriting has consistently worked against fans of colour who speak out about racist tropes, fan ignorance and hurtful portrayals of living cultures. Voicing anything negative about works created for free is seen as violating a core rule of ficwriting culture – but as that culture has been foundationally shaped by white fandoms, white characters and, overwhelmingly, white ideas about what’s allowed and what isn’t, we ought to consider that all critical contexts are not created equal.

Right now, the rise of C-drama (and K-drama, and J-drama) fandoms is seeing a surge of white creators – myself included – writing fics for fandoms in which no white people exist, and where the cultural context which informs the canon is different to western norms. Which isn’t to say that no popular fandoms focused on POC have existed before now – K-pop RPF and anime fandoms, for example, have been big for a while. But with the success of The Untamed, more western fans are investing in stories whose plots, references, characterization and settings are so fundamentally rooted in real Chinese history and living Chinese culture that it’s not really possible to write around it. And yet, inevitably, too many in fandom are trying to do just that, treating respect for Chinese culture or an attempt to understand it as optional extras – because surely, fandom shouldn’t feel like work. If you’re writing something for free, on your own time, for your own pleasure, why should anyone else get to demand that you research the subject matter first?

Because it matters, is the short answer. Because race and culture are not made-up things like lightsabers and werewolves that you can alter, mock or misunderstand without the risk of hurting or marginalizing actual real people – and because, quite frankly, we already know that fandom is capable of drawing lines in the sand where it chooses. When Brony culture first reared its head (hah), the online fandom for My Little Pony – which, like the other fandoms we’re discussing here, is overwhelmingly female – was initially welcoming. It felt like progress, that so many straight men could identify with such a feminine show; a potential sign that maybe, we were finally leaving the era of mainstream hypermasculine fandom bullshit behind, at least in this one arena. And then, in pretty much the blink of an eye, things got overwhelmingly bad. Artists drawing hardcorn porn didn’t tag their works as adult, leading to those images flooding the public search results for a children’s show. Women were edged out of their own spaces. Bronies got aggressive, posting harsh, ugly criticism of artists whose gijinka interpretations of the Mane Six as humans were deemed insufficiently fuckable.

The resulting fandom conflict was deeply unpleasant, but in the end, the verdict was laid down loud and clear: if you cannot comport yourself like a decent fucking person – if your base mode of engagement within a fandom is to coopt it from the original audience and declare it newly cool only because you’re into it now; if you do not, at the very least, attempt to understand and respect the original context so as to engage appropriately (in this case, by acknowledging that the media you’re consuming was foundational to many women who were there before you and is still consumed by minors, and tagging your goddamn porn) – then the rest of fandom will treat you like a social biohazard, and rightly so.

Here’s the thing, fellow white people: when it comes to C-drama fandoms and other non-white, non-western properties? We are the Bronies.

Not, I hasten to add, in terms of toxic fuckery – though if we don’t get our collective shit together, I’m not taking that darkest timeline off the table. What I mean is that, by virtue of the whiteminding which, both consciously and unconsciously, has shaped current fan culture, particularly in terms of ficwriting conventions, we’re collectively acting as though we’re the primary audience for narratives that weren’t actually made with us in mind, being hostile dicks to Chinese and Chinese diaspora fans when they take the time to point out what we’re getting wrong. We’re bristling because we’ve conceived of ficwriting as a place wherein No Criticism Occurs without questioning how this culture, while valuable in some respects, also serves to uphold, excuse and perpetuate microaggresions and other forms of racism, lashing out or falling back on passive aggression when POC, quite understandably, talk about how they’re sick and tired of our bullshit.

An analogy: one of the most helpful and important tags on AO3 is the one for homophobia, not just because it allows readers to brace for or opt out of reading content they might find distressing, but because it lets the reader know that the writer knows what homophobia is, and is employing it deliberately. When this concept is tagged, I – like many others – often feel more able to read about it than I do when it crops up in untagged works of commercial fiction, film or TV, because I don’t have to worry that the author thinks what they’re depicting is okay. I can say definitively, “yes, the author knows this is messed up, but has elected to tell a messed up story, a fact that will be obvious to anyone who reads this,” instead of worrying that someone will see a fucked up story blind and think “oh, I guess that’s fine.” The contextual framing matters, is the point – which is why it’s so jarring and unpleasant on those rare occasions when I do stumble on a fic whose author has legitimately mistaken homophobic microaggressions for cute banter. This is why, in a ficwriting culture that otherwise aggressively dislikes criticism, the request to tag for a certain thing – while still sometimes fraught – is generally permitted: it helps everyone to have a good time and to curate their fan experience appropriately.

But when white and/or western fans fail to educate ourselves about race, culture and the history of other countries and proceed to deploy that ignorance in our writing, we’re not tagging for racism as a thing we’ve explored deliberately; we’re just being ignorant at best and hateful at worst, which means fans of colour don’t know to avoid or brace for the content of those works until they get hit in the face with microaggresions and/or outright racism. Instead, the burden is placed on them to navigate a minefield not of their creation: which fans can be trusted to write respectfully? Who, if they make an error, will listen and apologise if the error is explained? Who, if lived experience, personal translations or cultural insights are shared, can be counted on to acknowledge those contributions rather than taking sole credit? Too often, fans of colour are being made to feel like guests in their own house, while white fans act like a tone-policing HOA.

Point being: fandom and ficwriting cultures as they currently exist badly need to confront the implicit acceptance of racism and cultural bias that underlies a lot of community rules about engagement and criticism, and that needs to start with white and western fans. We don’t want to be the new Bronies, guys. We need to do better.  

#race #racism #c-drama #fandom #fan wank #fandom wank #microaggresions #culture #the untamed #bronies #whiteness #ficwriting #fanwriting #cultural bias #discourse

[yellowocaballero]

Dammit I was unaware of 'offputtingly childish Peter Parker' as a characterization and now that I know if it I kind of want to know more.

I really have to call in the expert here @jimhensonreject, who probably has the patience to drag up receipts, but speaking as someone who sat down and read every Amazing Spider-Man comic from 60s-’75 or so:

In early Spider-Man comics, nobody liked Peter. He was, frankly, a complete pill. He was rude, pretentious, probably went on Reddit, and was likely a Centrist. The real appeal of Peter was in his vulnerability, that he was one of the few superheroes who actively seemed a little depressed lol. Every issue ended with Peter sadly standing around feeling bad about himself. They eased up on all of that for a while, but really for an extremely long time NOBODY liked Peter Parker or Spider-Man. He had plenty cross-over issues, but he never really got along with anybody! His supporting cast is terrible! No friend idiot Peter! They all thought he was a loser adult who had nothing better to do than quip!

But really the ‘offputtingly childish’ thing, imho, comes from Ultimate Spider-Man, my favorite and probably objectively the best Spider-Man run and the only good thing Bendis ever did. God, did everyone fucking hate Peter in Ultimate. He was a TEEN and he was ANGRY and he HATED THE ESTABLISHMENT. Good for him! There is a running plot thread that fellow superheroes think he’s an adult, hate him, realize he’s a kid, and then hate him EVEN MORE LMFAO. Black Cat kissed him, and when she realized he was a fifteen year old she threw up. Either they thought he was an adult who was incompetent (X-Men), or they realized he was a kid and turned horribly condescending (Captain America and Daredevil, if I remember correctly). 

I don’t like MCU Peter Parker as Peter Parker for a lot of reasons, but a big one is that people like him. It’s important to (teenage) Peter that he is always, always lonely.  He is literally incapable of holding onto a meaningful relationship (but obligatory fuck One More Day). The cheese stands alone at the end of every issue. 

#yes peter is one of the most wellconnected superheroes in the entire industry! #but that is because he has also been superheroing since the beginning of time #although he slowly gets the trust of everyone nobody ever really liked him in the beginning #he is just an incredibly abrasive person and i really like that about him #also a gigantic thing with ult!spiderman is him realizing #actually every single other superhero besides me is an awful person #(it was the ultimate verse and they were) #he was like....okay fuck all of yall im going to play by my rules and not give a shit #im fifteen fuck the police #MCU peter is SUPPOSED to be based off ultpeter but he's NOT #because ult!peter would have called tony stark a bootlicker #he would have showed up to the airport yelled at everybody for being morons who involves fifteen yos in their petty idiot drama #and then dramatically left #seriously this happened in the comics he just yells at the xmen for roping him into their drama and swings away #ult!peter would call mcu!peter a bootlicker #spider-man

[morethanonepage]

what would you say are the dynamics and themes that interest you most? Also frankly I'm surprised you read any star wars fic still, I agree on just wanting to read some good finnpoe but that has gotten increasingly futile.

i mean the thing i potentially like so much about finnpoe is that they BOTH have very specific, in some ways very different traumas (finn being a child soldier and growing up in such a highly regulated way where he had basically no bodily autonomy VS poe being mind-raped AND seeing his inability to stop it as having betrayed his own people AND seeing so many of his friends & comrades die in quick succession AND still recovering from the loss of his mother as a child and Muran when he was commanding Rapier Squadron) but they both have a tendency to compartmentalize that and continue to function on their own while being loyal (Finn’s devotion to Rey, which gets a lot of flack in fandom but like -- that’s one of the first people he’s been able to form a connection with!! AND I think he lowkey feels that it’s his fault Rey got dragged into -- everything, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for protecting her) and passionate about a cause (Poe basically killing himself to keep the Ideals Of The Republic Alive, be it through trying to hunt down the FO before he’s even part of the Resistance, to doing everything he can to keep the Resistance afloat once he is). 

like they have those similarities -- a real sense of duty and responsibility toward their friends and those they’re fighting with -- but they have fundamental differences in approach that the movies did a shitty job of extrapolating on when it could’ve been such an interesting conflict: Poe is the idealist and thinks of duty to a higher ideal first and foremost (like Leia and his mother, tbh) whereas Finn is more of a pessimist and a cynic and believes protecting your friends and loved ones from the substantial evil is hard enough without setting up to FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD IN THE UNIVERSE like Poe wants/believes he has to do. and both of these things are based so much on their upbringings! Poe grew up with those ideals and freedoms and parents who fought, successfully, to protect them, and believes he owes it to them to live up to their example and protect them as well; Finn has SEEN the evil of the FO firsthand and seen everyone around him subsumed by it, believes it to be omnipotent bc for him and his squad mates it literally was. escaping all of that was an act of powerful resistance on its own!

idk i just think a lot of the fandom’s take on this is, if you focus on finn ~running away~ in canon or not wanting to join up with the Resistance just ‘cause it’s ~the right thing to do~ you’re feeding into this idea of black men being cowards and/or selfish when it’s like no! that’s the consequence of his trauma: he’s running away from an abuser who controlled every aspect of his life, who’s set up to hunt him down and destroy planets and take over the universe in a way that’ll mean he’s NEVER safe, and he knows every single person he grew up with and had some affection for are a part of it too, which on the one hand he might be reluctant to fight them, but on the other they 100% won’t be reluctant to fight him AND they know him well enough to know his weaknesses. 

all of this is A LOT and it’s heavy and dark stuff, which i GET can be hard to work into like, light fluffy fic about finn finally being happy or learning what sex is or w/e, and not everything about fanfic has to be a ~deep exploration~ of character’s inner turmoil but like -- idk. there’s ways of dealing with these elements of finn’s backstory without making the whole thing drudging tragedy porn (which is ANOTHER fanfic trend i can’t stand -- neither Finn nor Poe are characters entirely without hope and fics that treat either of their tragedies [lbr it’s mostly poe’s that get dealt with] as the focus or main characteristic of either also bum me out) and I just really wish fandom had more interest in it. 

Another factor that KILLS ME is how Poe has (justifiably) developed OBVIOUS distrust for the force and force users, and would have such a fundamentally hard time dealing with the fact that Finn is one. Canon didn’t even let Finn be explicitly force sensitive, and fandom is like YAY FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, NOW HE CAN USE THE FORCE TO BONE (POE), and any fic that does touch on it makes Poe out to be ~unreasonable for not trusting Finn, or having his distrust be a consequence of his PTSD alone, and a sign he has to deal with his shit VS a very real issue that Poe might genuinely not be able to get over: the force CAN be creepy and is too easy to abuse, and a lot of what Poe’s seen it used for WAS bad. 

the other dimension of all this is, accidentally or not, these dynamics take on all sorts of real-world implications given both actor’s identities -- the explicit parallels between Finn’s upbringing and chattel slavery (taken from his family at an early age, losing all connection with his birthplace and culture, seen as useful but dispensable by an oppressive, mostly-white empire)  & its legacy for Black Americans (that lack of connection with a historical homeland and the loss of a cultural connection that came from it) VS the first generation latinx immigrant narrative that Poe and his family embody (the sacrifice for and long separation from a child in the service of giving them a better life, the burden that child takes upon themselves to make that sacrifice worth it by excelling in certain spheres, the drive to be the VERY BEST representative of their new culture, the embrace of that culture’s ideals bc they don’t want to think their parents sacrificed everything for a lie [with the creeping knowledge and experience to know many of those ideals are flawed and not always lived up to]). 

and the canon ignores that bc addressing it would require world building that couldn’t center/come back to the Skywalkers in some way (and the only family dynamics it’s interested in is DADDY ISSUES, fucking Free Fall), and fandom doesn’t care about it bc it’s mostly white girls who, AT BEST, decide to focus on the potential ~sexuality conflicts (coming out, family rejection, etc) when writing real world AUS, without dealing with the intersectionality of a black and a brown man, their respective cultural context, and the resultant conflicts those would create beyond, idk, “POCs are always homophobic so finn and/or poe’s parents kicked them out or w/e”.  and like I really don’t WANT these people trying to grapple with the complexity of a queer, interracial relationship where neither participant is white (i’ve seen enough just watching them grapple with either character’s sexuality tbh). 

but idk, that’s what’s interesting to me: finn and poe’s backgrounds and how those set up fundamental conflict points for both of them, both in canon (Poe’s devotion to the cause of liberty and democracy for the whole galaxy VS Finn’s duty to the people he loves over anything else) and in a real world au (Black people have a fundamentally different relationship to the American Ideal than Latinx immigrants do, for very good reasons). And I want those things to be significant elements of the characterization for both, but not the ONLY elements of characterization for both: stories should, in even some small way, be about what characters WANT (even if it is just “to fuck,” as it often is when I write [ok it’s usually “to love but be able to show it without saying it, hence the fucking”]) and so few fics, these days, give me any sense of what finn and poe want besides, vaguely “each other” (”because the author feels like they have to write them bc the actors are hot/for woke points”) and that is just -- boring to me. 

also god i would just love to read some dialogue that isn’t just twitter/tumblr memes and/or mcu level mean quips. like, just in general. 

#given my insanely high standards i think i should be rewarded for not shredding EVERY fic i read frankly #finnpoe #youandthemountains #longpost #rebloggable if you so choose lol

[ironxkid]

why don't you like endgame or civil war

((hoo buddy, idk what brought this up but salt under the cut!! Like... a lot of salt - specifically regarding Endgame lmao

I’m gonna start off with CACW because it’s a short response lol

I don’t like it simply because I was done with the infighting between the Avengers. The found family crumbs we were given in Endgame was something I really wanted to see, and them just... ripping them apart frustrated me lol

honestly, the movie was... fine? Idk, I found it to be a lil slow for my taste (it felt like it just dragged on when I watched it in theaters), and I just don’t care for it in general  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, ngl, I’m really bummed that Captain America: Serpent Society was a joke announcement because that sounds dope as hell and I really wanted to see that before I realized it’d been a joke dfgjhdsfhj

but, yeah, literally just because CACW is specifically an infighting movie annoys me to no end so I just won’t watch it again dgsfjhsfdhj

now, Endgame?

fuck Endgame

I. have a lot of issues with it, all of which are major grievances throughout the fandom. I’m pissed they killed Natasha and didn’t even bother giving her a fucking funeral because, I quote from Joe Russo, “Well, Tony does not have another movie. Tony is done. And Natasha has another film. And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore. But that character still has more screen time coming.” (see here) and that annoys the hell out of me. She’s getting another movie - great! So you killed one of the few characters doing her fucking best to keep everything together at the compound, the one who was taking charge, give her a big role, and then murk her and... give her nothing but a brief mention at the end. Like... what the fuck? Natasha deserved so much better than what she was given. Tony’s funeral could’ve (and, frankly, should’ve) been a funeral for him, Natasha, and Vision because god forbid we see anyone mourn Vision other than Wanda

(actually this post covers how Endgame fucked over the MCU women perfectly, though Wanda’s not mentioned :c )

plus... Tony’s not done lol - he’s still a massive figure in the films/shows despite RDJ not acting in them, so his character has left shockwaves that aren’t dying any time soon. Natasha... basically disappeared, and I believe she would’ve been dropped completely if it wasn’t for the fact she does have a film coming out soon. Which, frankly, seems awesome and all, but it’s a film that goes back to post-CACW pre-IW and... frankly doesn’t give me any reason to understand why that means she didn’t get a funeral. She’s not coming back in future movies/shows that are in present MCU timeline - her movie is set in the past. She could’ve gotten a decent sendoff 

now, Clint’s arc as Ronin rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s a huge thing in the comics, and it’s not him taking a different mantle that I have an issue with. It’s the fact he, a white man, went around murdering people and got off scot-free. Yes, he was targeting genuinely bad people, but... to show that, they specifically singled out Mexican cartels and the yakuza (Japanese mafia, essentially) - so, in other words, the bad guys were people of color! I feel like I don’t need to explain how fucked up that is. And, to clarify, I love Clint! Clint is honestly one of my favorite characters, and the whole thing was just handled... poorly in the film

Tony’s arc genuinely hurts. This is a man who has suffered for years and has tried to make things right, and finally got a chance to settle down. He finally retired from the Avengers, finally settled down, and had a fucking life he could enjoy despite his ghosts, and yet... His arc ends with a message of “tortured soul finally gets rest by dying”. Because, y’know, it’s great seeing yet another long-suffering character only reaching peace through death, because god forbid they let characters heal! He could’ve still caused the second Snap, and he could’ve survived. He could’ve finally been able to step away for good and focus on his family, focus on recovering, and be truly happy. What’s so wrong with letting him stay alive so he can rest and be with his family? What’s so wrong with letting a long-suffering character finally find peace after one last bang? 

plus it pisses me off that they’re now using him as a reasoning as to why bad things are still happening. Why is this person the bad guy? Because Tony Stark somehow may or may not have done something that hurt them! Even though most of that really stems from Howard or Obadiah. Tony just ends up getting the blame in their place. He’s just an easy target to use, much like the tesseract seems to be the go-to answer for why things go wrong. But this is a different train of thought

Steve’s ending pisses me off just as much as the next person lmao. You take a character who has acknowledged he no longer belongs in the past (which, funnily enough, was written by the Russos), aaaaaaand have him go back to the past while ignoring two important people in his life that were still right there. He got Bucky and Sam back, and he leaves them. His arc is ruined within a matter of minutes, and it paints a hella bad picture of him in the process. He goes back in time to stay with Peggy (which ultimately destroys her own arc, and the fact she’s a person outside of her relationship (or lack thereof) with him because, y’know, why have her be able to move on and be her own person?), and we’re supposed to believe he’s fine with everything he knows from the future? Fine with knowing Bucky’s trapped with HYDRA and is suffering as the Winter Soldier? Fine with knowing HYDRA has infested SHIELD from day one? Fine with knowing Howard and Maria are going to die? Fine with royally fucking up the timelines? We’re supposed to believe he sat back and did nothing with all of that? They could’ve had him still hand the shield over to Sam - they could’ve let Steve stay an Avenger without the mantle

also the fact the Russos said he didn’t recognize Red Skull when he returned to Vormir to return the soul stone? Like... what the fuck?? Not to mention he literally returns the stone to Vormir, which “soul for a soul”, and they didn’t bring Nat back that way??

and now onto Thor. Thor... holy fuck is this hitting something personal for me. Thor was ridden with guilt - he was furious with himself, hated himself, and blamed himself for failing to stop the Snap. He fell into a massive depression, and... was promptly danced around as laughing stock. Like, “oh! look at Thor! he’s fat and drunk because he’s depressed haha!” - like fuck off. It’s not funny in any form. His suffering was made into a joke and it pisses me off because I suffer from depression. A lot of people suffer from depression. It’s not funny. It’s fucking terrifying at times. I wasted a shit ton of money on a stupid online sim game because it was a distraction - it gave me... god, I wouldn’t even say temporary happiness, but it gave me something to temporarily help, and I still hate myself for doing it. It was a poor decision on my part, and I wish I could change it. And, during that time, I was scared because I couldn’t see myself pulling out of it. I thought I was gonna feel that way forever. I called out of work multiple times because there were days I couldn’t stop crying (something I still feel horrible for doing), I couldn’t get myself to contact any of my friends for months, and it was all because the medication I was on at the time... stopped working. Thankfully, my depression doesn’t work in a way that makes me a danger to myself, so that wasn’t an issue, but it still fucking sucked. And to see a character that I could relate to on such a personal level treated as laughing stock fucking hurt. I’m not sharing this for sympathy - I’m sharing this because it Thor’s arc hit home and it’s literally the main reason why I will not watch Endgame again

this is more of a nitpick than anything else, but... I didn’t really care for Carol in it tbh? Which is unfortunately because Captain Marvel is one of my absolute favorite movies! And I’m well aware she was introduced in Endgame while CM was being drafted, but that in itself is annoying?? Because Carol was originally going to be introduced in AoU, but was cut because it wasn’t going to introduce her character properly. And yet they decide to introduce her character in a clusterfuck of a movie before her movie is in the final stages, and proceed to release her movie first and then give a complete different characterization in her following appearance

honestly I just wanna cover this now to clarify some things regarding Carter and her backstory: the only reason I keep Endgame as is is because it felt easier for me to do so for the purpose of bending canon for specific threads. I wanted to stay as true to the given plots as possible to help with fudging of both the movies and her background, and also because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was trying to force my own headcanons onto them, y’know? 

I’m just gonna plug this here because fuck it lol, but I did start a fix-it fic regarding Endgame that you can read here! I... probably won’t finish it tbh, and I haven’t gone over it in a hot minute so it might be riddled with errors ahah - plus I’m not sure about how I wrote the characters! I get nervous when writing canon characters because I feel like I’ll miss their characterization completely, which is actually why I,,, rarely rp canon characters dgfjhgsfdhj

also the image in the doc was created by @/archervale!! 

#ooc #((I think I covered what I wanted and I hope it makes sense dgjhdfh #I'm pretty tired but I'm doing laundry so I figured I'd answer this while I wait #but yeah I don't care for CACW and I honest to god hate Endgame #the potential is there and it just never reached it)) #((I'm not even gonna touch the Russos directing style #'hey guys we're gonna film a wedding sIKE IT'S A FUNERAL' #like?? MAJORLY different event fellas #also I'm literally going off what I remember from Endgame so I'm sure there's QUITE a bit I'm missing #but I'm not watching it to make a bigger salt post lol #I don't hate watch things because I would much rather watch something I'd enjoy #tbh I don't understand hate watching at all but that's a different conversation gsdfjhdfhj)) #death mention tw #depression tw

[thevindicativevordan]

What did you think of the Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon?

Didn't read them until long after everyone el-

Oh. You don't mean the Bendis comics. You mean this:

Frankly I thought it sucked. With Spectacular Spider-Man and Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes there was a brief era where Marvel seemed to be aiming to compete with DC in the animated arena. I thought both of those could absolutely be compared with the best of the DCAU. They were ambitious, drawing on the source material of the comics while still doing their own thing. Even think Paul Dini was involved wasn't he? Thought I heard he scripted a few episodes.

Then Loeb takes over the animation side and completely fucking runs it into the ground. EMH gets killed off for Avengers Assemble which starts the trend of every Marvel product turning into a bland copycat of the MCU. All because Loeb thinks kids are too stupid to appreciate serious storytelling in their cartoons, and everything has to be cheap action-comedies with every episode being standalone. SSM dies and we get USM because Sony loses the animation rights. And oh boy is it bad.

Peter is an unfunny and obnoxious fourth wall breaking Memepool clone. Saddled with a bunch of asshole "friends" that you will hate, who are just C-Listers Loeb wanted to shill as prep for their Netflix shows, this Peter is basically Quesada's wet dream. Immature, idiotic, fitting that they switched to adapting Slott's stories, his comic characterization of Peter was a perfect fit for this show. The USM comics aren't the gold standard for me that they are for others, but even I felt bad that the USM designs were wasted on such a garbage show. So many odd creative choices as well, why the hell was Harry made Venom? Legit didn't understand that choice then and I still don't now. Also apparently Norman Osborn was made a good guy in the later seasons (I had long since stopped watching)? Why? There's one choice that pissed me off but I totally knew why they did it:

No Mayday Spider-Girl/Woman, instead it's just a gender swapped Peter? Fuck you Marvel, even in this "progressive" era they still can't show my favorite Spider-character outside of Peter some love. Guess even having her as an alternate universe daughter still terrifies them. I chalk that up to Quesada, and likely Loeb disliked her as well. Funny that it wasn't Spider-Gwen though, was that Loeb's choice or someone else's I wonder? That this was basically the last outside media project besides the MCU to focus on Peter as the sole Spider-Man is really sad. Now Spider-Man is a "team" franchise where he's got to carry Miles (and sometimes Gwen) in everything he does.

Whole show really came and went huh? That it got more seasons than SSM is proof that we live in an unjust world, that it seems to have left zero impact on the general public, and most seem to dislike it is proof that the general audience has better taste than some might think. Probably for the best given Drake apparently committed child endangerment. Having the guy who you chose to voice Peter be a convicted criminal must put a damper on any reruns. Far as I'm concerned this whole show deserves to be forgotten, it's terrible.

#spider man #peter parker #miles morales #gwen stacy #ultimate spider man #marvel animation

[scratchface]

If non-Superman/Batman heroes can't dream of one day being better, what's the point of publishing them at all?

I’m guessing this about my bitching the other day, so I’ll elaborate. 

A lot, and I mean a lot, of DC media in the past two decades likes to attack the Justice League, especially Superman and Batman, usually in an effort to promote said media’s own protagonist instead.

Not that this stops there or with them--take the DC animated movies absolutely embarrassing treatment of Nightwing. They go out of their way to make Nightwing look bad in favor of creator’s pet Damian basically every film, and frankly, its disrespectful.

Not to mention villain-centric shit like anything, anything, based around the Suicide Squad or Harley Quinn, which tend to be absolutely braindead and insulting with their treatment of the original heroes. (Like the absolutely travesty of what they did to Cassandra Cain, oh my god--)

But to get more specific, the most egregious examples of this would be the Supergirl and Batwoman shows. Now, the writing on these shows is consistently stilted and terrible. On top of that, the main characters are flat and flavorless. But rather than put in the effort of actually writing good characters, the writers would rather use their time trying to gaslight you into thinking their characters are better than they really are. Characters repeatedly and nonsensically insist that Kara is way better than Clark. Characters dramatically proclaim Kate is way better than Bruce. If Superman or Batman appear, it will be accompanied by endless assurances that their female, one-dimensional counterparts are vastly superior. 

Which is painfully cringe on top of being insulting, and also, completely unnecessary. 

Supergirl in the modern comics is usually alright; she’s got plenty of personality, she’s completely distinct from Superman, and she’s got a bit of an edge. And most adaptations of her do pretty well, because they really lean into the hot-headed warrior aspect of her character. When she’s well written, there’s no reason to compare her to her cousin, because she has plenty of her own appeal. 

Batwoman--well, there’s the good and bad. She certainly has her own appeal in the comics, and while I personally find her bland, plenty of other people are huge fans. Her design is striking, if nothing else. 

But in their respective TV shows, the writers insist of repeatedly trying to convince the audience that they’re both way better than Superman/Batman. Nevermind that Batwoman is a blatant ripoff of Batman’s iconic look, attitude, and general concept with very little creativity injected in; nevermind that the Supergirl in the show is nothing but a genderbent Clark Kent, all of Kara’s original and unique traits thrown out in exchange for ripping off Clark Kent’s background and career.

You don’t get to blatantly ripoff two of the most popular fictional characters of the past century to build your protagonists and simultaneously shit all over those characters. Which these shows do. Repeatedly. Insistently. If you’re going to write a Supergirl show, write a Supergirl show. Don’t write “Superman in a skirt but totally way better just trust us on this because Superman sucks” instead.

On top of all that, Supergirl and Batwoman...aren’t particularly that great, or that badass. They certainly aren’t juggernauts of compelling characterization and they don’t have many particularly interesting stories to their names. Any attempts to insist otherwise are pretty absurd and usually grounded in complete ignorance of any other comics. That’s not a necessarily a fault of the characters, but in the CW shows, that’s certainly a fault of the writers. 

This sort of heavy-handed writing...It’s arrogant. It’s condescending. It’s pandering. And most of all, it’s lazy. They really think they can put so little effort into making their own characters interesting, and then act like they’ve done better than the best-selling comic book characters in history. Does the arrogance of that not bother you? 

Let’s take the MCU, and the Avengers. Before the MCU got rolling, the X-Men were pretty much the only Marvel team non-comics fans cared about. And Marvel knew this. They’d been made very, very aware of this. 

So imagine if they’d let that get to them, imagine if they got all insecure about it. Imagine if, in the Avengers movies, the action came grinding to a halt every once in a while so the characters could assure the audience that they’re way cooler than the X-men and wow look how much a better team we are than those mutants :) disguised as thinly-veiled and poorly executed conversations.

Yeah. It is bad.

It’s also completely unnecessary. In order for a story to be a success, it should be able to stand on its own, no need to attack its predecessors. It should stand on its own merits. 

And yet, here we have countless writers acting like they think they can do better than the best-sellers without anything to back that up. They’ve made an assumption about their own skill, and the charisma of their protagonists. They overestimate themselves in a way that’s downright narcissistic. And to them, if I could give every single one of them a harsh reminder, I would. They will never create a character as popular, as iconic, a culturally prevalent as Superman or Batman. I want them to set aside their egos and respect the characters painstakingly established by the authors before them. Writers with no respect for the work of their predecessors should have no place in comics or comic-related media. They should just go write completely original fiction, if they’re so convinced in their own skill and capacity to do better. 

So yeah, arrogant hacks shouldn’t publish at all.

But non-Superman/Batman characters should obviously be published, I guess. I mean, I’d rather read 1,000 basically identical Batman comics than have to even look at Harley Quinn, but someone somewhere likes her and they should have something to read. Not to mention all the great characters I love that aren’t headliners. Not every character is going to have the same cultural impact as Superman or Batman, and that’s okay. And someday, someone will create a new comic character as popular and iconic as DC’s headliners, and more power to them. But no one has done it yet, and it’s embarrassing when a writer gets high on their own mediocrity and pretends otherwise.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

I do sometimes want to interrogate what people mean when they say that fandom should “respects the canon narrative”  or “respect the version of the story the creators told” or something along those lines

because clearly, to me, you should respect the creators themselves, as human beings. don’t send them sexual things or fanworks when they haven’t consented, don’t insist to actors that they should make out, etc. or those things. 

demanding directly that creators change the story can be odd and possibly disrespectful. it IS their art, even if you don’t agree with it. 

When it comes to network TV and blockbuster movies (ex MCU) it’s more complicated, imo, because it is also being created for profit and they want to net and keep a wide audience and they do sometimes bow to audience influence, whether or not I think they should. As well, when there are genuinely problematic and harmful things being shown [eg racist tropes, constant queerbaiting] i do think speaking out against it is appropriate, boycotting or leaving frankly honest reviews of how shitty the Thing was are absolutely fair. Demanding it change, ehh, I’m not really sure where I stand on that? it is probably disrespectful, but even if people are writing in, @ ing creators, the creators and their networks must take a stand and do what they will. 

and in the case of smaller or independent creators, I usually consider unsolicited criticism aimed directly at the creators much more disrespectful, personally. they don’t have the backing of the network and are more likely to be overwhelmed. that’s not to say that people can’t or shouldn’t point out problematic things, they should, but I would say maybe check that they haven’t addressed The Thing already first, or check that 10 others haven’t pointed it out yet, etc. all of that is very context dependent, and i reserve the right to change my mind on it, though. 

BUT when you get into, like. critique and things that occur within “fandom space” (which is, in my opinion, blurry on twitter, but it’s more clear that tumblr is fandom space to me) like. 

Thinking plot lines were stupid, characterization was weird/inconsistent/distasteful, thinking directions the narrative went was jarring or any of those things.... do people consider that disrespecting canon, or disrespecting the artist’s vision? 

and if so, does that make it bad to do that? i mean. personally, i wouldn’t even consider it all that disrespectful. or at least, i don’t care if i’m “disrespecting canon”, if i disagree with the characterization we got or think a plot was just downright stupid.

and truly.... sometimes the idea of a show is really is better than the show itself turned out to be, and i want play with the version in my head. i don’t really think i’m being disrespectful to the creation or the creator when i do that, or when I make posts or write stories that blatantly disregard canon. As long as I’m not jumping on other people’s posts or stories and causing problems, asserting that I’M RIGHT, I don’t see how selectively ignoring canon is “disrespectful”. To me, picking and choosing canon is just part of the fandom experience, especially if you wind up invested in and loving a show that has particularly messy writing, lol.... 

if ignoring parts of canon is wrong, I don’t want to be right

#fandom #fandom discourse #ive been posting a lot tonight so might as well release this from my drafts #its been sitting for ages

[moontours]

can you talk more about Iron Man 2 Natasha versus other Natashas?? I feel pure joy when I see it <3

sure <333 ill break it up into sections by movie

iron man 2: shes literally the love of my life and the reason why i even started liking natasha in general but like outside of My personal feelings i do think this is the best iteration of natasha by far. her cover story for stark industries was SO good like do u know how clever u have to be to get around tony’s systems? and imo its literally the ONLY time in the mcu where we get to see natasha being a SPY even though thats a large part of her skillset. i loved the hallway scene in the end where she got to show off and literally singlehandedly take down all those guards and i loved the moment between her and tony before his birthday party. it was honest, vulnerable but subtle enough that it makes SENSE for natasha’s character. 

the avengers: hmm. probably my second favourite iteration of nat. i loved the beginning with her at her mission and then her manipulating bruce, i thought those scenes were both in character. also, ive seen ppl say that they hate that first scene where nat is being interrogated bc it makes her appear as weak when ?? i feel like it does the opposite ?? like shes literally only still tied up bc she wants to be, so that she can get more information. she is literally in control there, she was just waiting for the time to strike n had to do it sooner than later bc of clont getting compromised. anyways idk i like ta!nat i think shes fine but theres not much in terms of like. anything else other than Badass Character, u feel? also i HATED how scared she was of bruce/hulk. it left a bad taste in my mouth n i cant believe they tried a romance there after

winter soldier: maybe controversial but i hate her in this movie jrbjhabsjd or i guess hate is a strong word but i dont like her in this movie. like first of all the role shouldnt have even been hers??? it shouldve been sharon’s and it was supposed to be until they decided to replace sharon with her. her characterization in this movie is literally god-awful which imo led to her shitty characterization in endgame. she was genuinely humiliating when she tried to go undercover in this like idc how brief it is shes always ready (in dd v2 she literally wore a FULL disguise to visit matt as work when there was a lot of press so she wouldnt gain any attention for him. foggy didnt recognize her til she took off her wig) so the fact that she would put on a HOODIE ??? AND GO ??? TO A PLACE WHERE THERES CLEARLY CAMERAS ??? humiliating. the part where she was like 🥺🥺 would u trust me to save ur life ?? humiliating. natasha doesnt give a SHIT about what people think of her. frankly, all steve did up to that point was heavily judge her so she shouldnt care abt what he thinks. they obviously tried to make her a more emotional character in this but it just came off wrong lmao. i did like her last scenes though

age of ultron: ill keep this short—i dont like aou nat, i dont think it was a good representation of nat at all and i absolutely despise the brucenat romance with my entire heart. i did like her suit and fight scenes but thats it. theres not enough words to describe how misogynistic and wrong and disgusting it was for them to say natasha is a monster like bruce to make HIM feel better just bc she cant have children. 616 natasha sweetie.

civil war: the twist of her being the one to change sides was so lame i literally have to laugh like omg wowow the former spy ended up switching sides how unexpected i cant believe no one saw that coming. her being on tony’s side was the right call and the switch was stupid thats all lmao they just wanted her to stay with steve and sam after the team broke up which is literally stupid bc either way she shouldve been on her own. irritashun

infinity war: honestly not much to say she only had 6 minutes and all she did was Fight ppl so it was ur typical portrayal of nat. her eyebrows and hair were atrocious though. it shouldve been black hair as a nod to 616 nat’s tendency to dye her hair black in the old comics

endgame: oh boy where to even start. this is my least favourite iteration of nat in the entire mcu. i literally did not recognize her for a SECOND. before the movie came out, sc/rjo talked abt how we would see a pissed off nat ready to take action and i was really excited because THAT sounded like the nat i knew. but when the movie actually came, we saw her ?? moping ?? crying ?? eating a sad ass sandwich by herself ?? basically doing the emotional labour for the team because god forbid any of the men do it ??????? and the fact that they CUT OUT ALL OF HER COPING SCENES TOO LIKE THE TARGET PRACTICE, THE PUNCHING BAG??? i cant jbhjabsdhj it makes me SO fucking furious that they would make her some overly emotional character—like not to say that its a bad thing to be that, its not, but it’s also NOT natasha in any way. ive said this before but natasha’s grief almost ALWAYS manifests in the form of anger and u can explicitly see that in secret empire when she cries by herself for a minute, composes herself and gets ready to kill stevil. u can see that during hickmanvengers when its HER that realizes this is more than just taking sides, theres a bigger fight. i wanted so desperately to see a pissed-off nat and i was literally lied to. n then her ending lmao?!?!?!?! i dont even want to touch on that bc its going to get me so fucking mad jrbhavshgd abut i will talk abt it briefly: FUCK her ending FUCK the russos FUCK m&m and FUCK everyone who said this was empowering. it wasnt. she literally died for HER family, who she decided wasnt as important as clint’s blood family. thats BULLSHIT. its so stupid and the fact that she wasnt even able to reunite with everyone?? the fact that she died in the SAME DISGUSTING MANNER that gamora did???? like she didnt even make it to the FINAL BATTLE. how on earth do u treat ur first female hero (and one of the first female leads of the mcu in general) like that????? the fact that they didnt even give her a proper funeral bc they said that natasha is ~private~ like shes not some fucking loner or recluse. at the very least, we shouldve seen them mourning her properly (steve shedding one tear and bruce throwing shit around doesnt count) but they really said fuck women xo

#in conclusion im2 nat good a4 nat bad every other nat eh #<33 thank u for the q i love talking ab my girl #asks

[ssironstrange]

endgame rant

SPOILERS AHEAD PLEASE AVOID IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET

yeah i know i said i wouldn’t post spoiler shit but listen i gotta get this off my chest ok

i have some REAL BIG FUCKING ISSUES with the way the russos handled a lot of plotlines. don’t get me wrong, this movie was amazing and epic and fucking award worthy, but as a fan i’ve taken offense to a Lot of things.

clint

nothing about his ronin story makes a lick of fucking sense in the mcu. his family is dusted so he…… goes on a mass murdering spree??? decides that he should get a haircut and spend the next five years getting an edgy tattoo sleeve??? um. okay then. destroy the past like 10 years of his character having one of the best moral compasses of the entire team. why did he take up using a fucking SWORD in present day? do you know how long it takes to master swordsmanship at the level he was? with at least half of the world’s teachers gone? more than five fucking years thats for damn sure. and between him and natasha dying for the soul stone? it should have been him. i know he had a family and all but listen. nat went through physical and psychological torture. her body was modified against her will. she was brainwashed and used. and finally, FINALLY she gets free of it all, finds a family in the avengers, and continues to try and better herself to make up for things that weren’t even her fault to begin with. and clint? what did he suffer? oh thats right. nothing. he’s just damn good at his job and loves his family. the fact he has a family sucks for sacrifice, but they are well taken care of and every single one of his kids are old enough to understand AND nat would have stepped in immediately as a parental figure to help laura. they fucking fridged nat for clint and i will never forgive that.

thor

here we go. thor’s character legit made me uncomfortable. they went way overboard with the new thor personality. but… fatshaming and making fun of his very real depression and ptsd?? wtf russos. like, haha he let himself go so funny but its NOT. he wasn’t even like…. fat, for one. just a normal dadbod and beer belly. which by the way seems a lot more realistic according to most norse myths of the gods. they were warriors, yeah, but they drank a fucking lot and feasted a fucking lot so. anyway. thor has lost his entire family. not only that but he watched them all die. he saw his mother bleed out. he watched his father disperse into nothingness. he watched the brother he has loved and cherished no matter the amount of times of betrayal and misdeeds get his neck snapped and his lifeless body thrown to the ground. and then the sister he never knew he had killing almost all of your people and then being forced to find a way to kill her. can you imagine trying to cope with that??? and when you put his age into our perspective, he’s only in his 20s. so imagine seeing your whole family die before you’re even 25, then taking on the responsibility of ruling your people. said surviving people are then massacred in front of you with only a few dozen escaping. THEN living with the guilt of blowing your chance to kill the man responsible for that and unable to stop him from decimating half the universe. (and even when he does get revenge on him, it’s too late) tell me you wouldn’t have an atomic level meltdown. thor is suffering so much and all they can do is make fun of him for it and shame him for it. he deserved better.

steve

yall know i don’t like steve. i don’t hate him and i’m not anti-steve, i’ve just never enjoyed his rather inconsistent character and self-righteousness. it felt like we were FINALLY getting a steve i could get behind in this. a steve that swears like he should. a steve who still puts on a brave face for the public but behind closed doors with friends he’s miserable and broken like the rest of them and SHOWS it to them. a steve who realizes he is stuck in the past and just can’t seem to move forward. a steve who i can finally see the culmination of EVERYTHING he’s been through resting on his shoulders and eating him alive inside. finally we were getting a properly layered steve rogers. and then tony came back and that all fell apart. we didn’t get the apology steve owed him (and tbh tony owed him one too but we’ll get to that), we didn’t get a remorseful steve. he didn’t even address the goddamn issue. he went straight back to his bullshit. admittedly he was a better listener this time around and a far better team player overall. it wasn’t a total loss. but. BUT. his ending? no. hell fucking no. i’m happy he and peggy got their life, but it still shouldn’t have happened. how fucking selfish. how fucking backwards of his character. i get he didn’t have a choice in being brought back into the present and that is unfair and sucks for him, but what fucking right did he have to mess with a timeline like that? what right did he have to just decide without telling anyone he was done and giving up? why did he get the fucking happy ending???? steve rogers who looked tony in the eyes and said he wasn’t the kind of man to lay on the wire for someone copped out. steve rogers who knows of all the social progress we’ve made decides to go back to a time where he would be forced to accept segregation and extreme gender inequality and rampant, blatant, gross racism of all sorts oh and more war and alkjdalksdhkas NO plus they broke their own time travel rules so like whatever i guess right?? it’s okay if steeb gets his stupid happy ending right? god is it SO MUCH TO ASK FOR JUST ONCE TO HAVE A GOOD CHARACTERIZATION OFCAP???? it’s not your fault cevans honey you’re doing amazing your directors just have no fucking idea 

tony

frankly this has been amongst rdj’s best performances of tony. i’m still partial to a lot of his acting in the iron man movies BUT this was FANTASTIC. him finally being allowed to absolutely go off on steve was fucking delicious and everything i was waiting for. let it all out tony baby. buuuuut we should have also had something more. i know my fellow tony stans typically don’t believe it but tony was wrong in civil war too. surprise they both fucking were. ANYWAY. i was waiting for an honest apology between them both. after everything they just went through, NONE of the petty bullshit they went through before matters at all. and yet the closest thing we get is tony just being like “turns out i don’t like to hold grudges” or what the fuck ever. why is it so hard just to make one of them say i’m sorry, the other say i’m sorry, admit it was a bunch of BULLSHIT hug it out and then go forward???? ugh. their choice to make tony suddenly care about his dad and be happy to see him???? disgusting. they made it canon that howard was an abuser, neglectful, cold, and hateful. it’s been a BIG DEAL how tony has struggled with the relationship to his dad because of how shitty the man was to him. and then they do tHAT? fuuuuCK that!!!! i’m not saying tony isn’t allowed to forgive howard. thats fine and expected tbh. but they pushed it way too far. the tony stark we’ve known for the last decade would never get all giddy and happy to see him and hug him and fucking thank him??? what the fuckk?? god that was gross. you know what we should have gotten? what tony deserved more than howard fucking stark? MARIA STARK!! and then, of course, my main issue. they fucking killed him. which only tells us, the audience and fans that no matter what you suffer and sacrifice that your only way to redemption is death. jesus fucking christ i am SO angry over this. they killed the two who suffered the fucking most. the two who every single goddamn day worked on being a better person. nat and tony both deserved so much better than waht they got. how the fuck did it make sense to kill tony who now has a fucking CHILD, who still has a future, who FINALLY FOR ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE FOUND A SHRED OF PEACE????? and then let steve just go selfishly galavant through time as he pleases to have the cute happy ending? FUCK that ending. fuck it right up the ass with a huge unlubed cock. steve should have been the one to use the gauntlet. period. he should have been the one to die like that. i would have still fucking cried but you know what?? that would be the most cap thing ever. i wanted a mirror of pre-serum steve jumping on that grenade, but this time grabbing the gauntlet and not hesitating for a split second to snap. but no. they killed tony who left behind a wife who DESERVED MORE THAN HAVING THE MAN SHES LOVED AND SUPPORTED AND MARRIED AND HAS A CHILD WITH RIPPED AWAY FROM HER!!! tony who left behind a daughter too young to really comprehend yet why her daddy isn’t going to be coming back. fuck you russos. the injustice of it is astounding. i’m never going to get over it. you know how they could have killed tony? if they really felt like they needed to? have him grow old and die naturally of old age with pepper in their cute little lakeside house after watching morgan grow into such a strong and brilliant person. but oh. they gave that to steve. right.

stephen

i’ll never complain about having more stephen content but uhhhh i’m gonna complain that we didn’t get more than what we got cause after sitting in the soulworld for five fucking years you canNOT tell me he didn’t get even stronger with time to practice and meditate and work through every iota of information of mystical shit in his head. and yet they sidelined him??? after we’ve SEEN what he’s capable of in IW? just gonna put him on flood control???? something that any of those goddamn sorcerers could have done while he helps wipe the floor with thanos or any of the thousands of enemies? fuuuuuuuuuck that. can you fucking imagine how quickly thanos would have been taken out if it were wanda, carol, and stephen all three against him? jesus. he’s literally amongst the most powerful people but nah, just have him stand over there.

the gay russo

FUCK you for that. i am LIVID about it. yall can’t fucking make valkyrie bi???? or carol????? yall can’t GET AN ACTUAL GAY ACTOR? “ We felt it was important that one of us play him, to ensure the integrity and show it is so important to the filmmakers that one of us is representing that. “ WHAT????????? are you fucking telling me a WOC WHO IS OUT AS BISEXUAL AND WANTS HER CHARACTER TO BE BISEXUAL COULDNT ENSURE THE INTEGRITY OF AN LGBT CHARACTER???????????????? “ It is a perfect time, because one of the things that is compelling about the Marvel Universe moving forward is its focus on diversity.”  SEE PREVIOUS COMMENT????? oh my god fuck them forever.

lets make rules for our time travel then break them immediately

idek whats going on in the timeline anymore. they utterly fucked up and BROKE the timeline of 2012 avengers after letting loki get away with the tesseract. which should have cascaded into their future but, well, it didn’t. so i GUESS now we’re just pretending that made a new timeline which makes no goddamn sense but whatever i guess. steve going back to completely fuck with his timeline, or a timeline at least, and having no consequences in the future besides being old. okay. sure??? we can do all that but we can’t fucking get natasha back. right. cool. okay.

anyway i’m sure theres more bugging me but these are the things bothering me most.

and frankly i don’t care if anyone disagrees i’m not arguing or debating any of this. 

#endgame

[bombshellsandbluebells]

☕️ fandom's incomprehensible (mis)treatment of James "Better Than Your Faves" Rhodes.

Fandom absolutely SLEEPS on Rhodey and I don’t understand why - I mean, I have a theory, unfortunately, but as a white woman I’m frankly hesitant to accuse fandom’s overall tendency to ignore Rhodey as racism because I’m not sure it’s my place. (Though there certainly seems to be a pattern in what characters get overlooked.) Obviously people are going to have favorites, and especially people who aren’t big Iron Man fans overall probably don’t care as much about the members of the Iron Fam, but like. Still. As a whole, fandom absolutely ignores Rhodey outside of the Iron Fam and he deserves better.

People don’t even seem to dislike him, they just straight up IGNORE HIM. Rhodey has been a character in the MCU since the FIRST MOVIE and a superhero since IM2, the THIRD MOVIE IN THE ENTIRE FRANCHISE. He’s been an Avenger since AOU. I’m still upset that they chose not to greenlight the War Machine movie because maybe then he would get some recognition.

And it’s not like he’s just a flat sidekick character with no true characterization - I’d understand fandom’s tendency to ignore him if that was the case. But Rhodey is well developed as a character. He’s brave and sure and steadfast in his beliefs. Hell, he has one of the BETTER CHARACTER ARCS in Civil War and he STILL gets slept on. He’s a loyal friend but not hesitant to call Tony out on his shit and argues against him when he feels he needs to.

People always talk about how much they love the fact that Carol and Tony are shown to just genuinely enjoy their superpowers/personas, but Rhodey is equally as happy and energetic about being a superhero and I love it and no one talks about it! HE TELLS DUMB STORIES TO MAKE HIMSELF LOOK LIKE AN ACTION HERO! HIS PASSWORD WAS WARMACHINEROX!!! He kept a count of how many Ultrons he killed aND THEN PUT DECALS ON HIS SUIT AS BADGES OF HONOR!! 

He’s like one of the funniest characters in the MCU because Don Cheadle’s delivery is perfect. The long drawn out pause before “so he’s an idiot.”?? Iconic. Why do people not seem to appreciate that he is HILARIOUS. Every single line he had in Endgame killed me.

He’s dorky and funny and adorable and also badass enough to fight most of Iron Man 3 without a suit - how do more people not talk about that jump through the window move he did??? Like COME ON!!! THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST BADASS MOVES IN THIS SERIES!!! Coming from a guy with no superpowers!!!

Rhodey is not only a fun, badass and just likeable character, his morals got to shine in Civil War and STILL HE GETS SCRAPS FROM THE FANDOM! I just don’t understand why more people don’t love him. I really don’t.

#fandom wank #ask #ask game #james rhodes

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: The Joker (The Dark Knight)

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

The Joker is one of the most widely interpreted characters in all of media, with so many taking a stab at him that it should really not be a surprise that he’d end up in a Psycho Analysis. There are plenty of Jokers to talk about, so I feel it’s appropriate to start out with the best interpretation of the character thus far in live-action cinema: Heath Ledger’s Joker from The Dark Knight.

Really though, what can be said about this performance that hasn’t been said already a million times before? This performance is legendary, and truly makes the movie the modern classic that it is. This take on the Clown Prince of Crime, a more down to earth take, really helped shape and mold the decade of superhero films for the decade to come, for better or for worse.

Actor: Unless you have lived under a rock for the past decade, you are well aware that Brokeback Mountain’s Heath Ledger portrays Joker in the film, a casting choice that was widely derided when it was announced. Ledger would go on to prove all the naysayers wrong – dead wrong. His take on the Joker seems more in line with the character’s very first appearance in comics, where he was more about murder and black comedy than theatrics and cackling, and Heath sells you a version of the Joker that in the hands of anyone else would likely be unappealing to those who grew up with Hamill’s Joker. Add in a dash of characterization from the more nihilistic Joker from The Killing Joke, and Ledger managed to cook up a psychotic anarchist clown for audiences of every stripe to love to hate.

It’s worth noting that Ledger’s performance is practically unmatched in comic book cinema; despite Joker being ripped off in and out of comic book movies to oftentimes poor effect, very few villains managed to come close to the complexity and talent Ledger brought to the role. Only the MCU has managed to give villains of this level of quality – villains like Thanos, Killmonger, and Adrian Toomes – and even then it took them a decade to get to those. Incredible, isn’t it? The MCU, which has produced the best comic book movies since The Dark Knight came out, has only JUST managed to get villains with performances that match up to Ledger. Ledger’s performance is just that hard to match.

Motivation/Goals: The Joker’s goal is simple: he wants to kill the Batman. Okay, it isn’t that simple, but he’d sure love you to think that. The Joker very much seems to draw from his interpretation in The Killing Joke, especially in regards to Harvey, with him wanting to put the purest hearts of Gotham through the wringer to make them as warped and wicked as he is. He also wants to take Gotham from the organized crime and introduce his own brand of anarchic, disorganized crime, where criminal actions are done for the sake of it. Frankly, almost every action Joker does in this film can just be chalked up to him wanting to do it just because, but it’s hard to deny there’s an underlying genius to everything he does. Every move he makes is just so perfect and calculated, all in the sake of bringing ruin onto Gotham and destroying and crushing its hopes.

Personality: This Joker is much more subdued than, say, Hamill or Nicholson’s take on the character; the wacky props and the over-the-top showmanship are a lot more subdued, but it’s still easy to see that this Joker is a genuine Joker. He indulges in lots of black comedy, he’s constantly lying through his teeth, he’s underhanded and is constantly executing overcomplicated plans, he executes anyone when he feels they’ve outlived their usefulness, and most importantly of all, he really loves screwing with people. Much like the previous clown covered on Psycho Analysis, Joker truly seems to relish in the anarchy, misery, and suffering he causes others

Final Fate: The last we see of Joker, he’s dangling from a building and cackling like a madman. It’s easy to assume he was arrested, and the novelization of the sequel mentions he is the sole inmate of Arkham Asylum… maybe. He may have escaped, for all anyone knows. Sadly this lackluster ending is because Heath Ledger tragically died, and Christopher Nolan felt it would be disrespectful to have him appear in the sequel, even as a cameo using unused footage. It’s rather unsatisfying but it is understandable.

Best Scene: Every single scene could count. There is not one scene with Joker that is not iconic, awesome, and memorable. For my money though, the scene in which he walks out of the hospital dressed like a nurse and attempts to detonate the charges, only for them to not go off which leads with him fiddling with his detonator until things finally start to explode, is easily his best, funniest, and most wonderfully in-character moment in the film. It’s one of the most traditionally Joker-y things he does.

Best Quote: Pretty much everything out of his mouth is wonderful, but I think the gold medal has to be the first story he tells about how he got his scars. “Why. So. Serious?”

Final Thoughts & Score: Look, we all know Joker is getting a 10/10, it’s pretty obvious and we all know it’s what he deserves. And with that out of the way, I can just get right into the meat of why he’s so great.

Nolan’s Batman films are a more down-to-earth, darker, and realistic take on Batman, so they tended to sacrifice some of the more comic booky aspects of Batman in an attempt at realism, usually to good effect. For instance, there’s no Venom drug that Bane is hooked on, the Lazarus Pit is more metaphorical than literal, stuff like that. But Joker? Joker manages to straddle the line fairly well. It’s damn near impossible for a psychopath who dresses up like a clown to be taken 100% seriously, so while the Joker is toned down here, it’s not to the degree that someone like Ra’s al-Ghul was. Joker’s not wildly hammy, overly theatrical, and using guns that have little “BANG” flags in them, sure, but he’s still pretty funny, he still is a bit theatrical, and he’s still just as cunning as ever. As far as “realistic” takes on characters go, Joker is the absolute pinnacle. If you want to do a realistic take on a more unrealistic character while still staying true to them, this Joker is the character to look to.

There’s honestly not much to criticize here; like yes, I’m sure I could nitpick here and there, but for what it is this performance is utterly electrifying. However, it’s hard not to point out how, much like the movie he’s in, this Joker had quite an uneven impact, as a lot of movies tried ripping off the elements of the character that worked in the context of the film without understanding just why Ledger’s performance worked. One need look no further than the next cinematic interpretation of Joker courtesy of Jared Leto to see how toning down the Joker and trying to aim for gritty realism can backfire spectacularly. And then of course there are all the incredibly edgy people on the internet who take this Joker at face value and idolize him as some sort of philosophical wiseman espousing harsh truths about reality, when he is in fact a hypocritical liar who is constantly screwing with everyone around him; perhaps that only adds to his brilliance, though, as he managed to even pull one over on the audience.

Still, none of that is really Ledger’s fault; he had no way of knowing that his take on Joker would be ripped off or treated as some incredible intellectual instead of as a conniving madman who sought to crush hope and bring about chaos. Ledger may be gone, but he left us with a brilliant and unique take on a classic character, one that even years later still holds up as one of the greatest villain performances of all time in any media. To this day, people still talk about him, still try and theorize about his origins, still quote his lines; for better or for worse Joker is an icon, and while the worse in that equation is pretty bad, the better is what really matters and what we should really remember this incarnation of Joker for.

#Psycho Analysis #The Joker #Joker #Heath Ledger #The Dark Knight #Batman

[andcurioser]

Avengers: Endgame - Here, Have Some Thoughts

At last, it is time to discuss Endgame. I’m still not totally sure how I feel about the movie. It’s the sort of thing I think will take time and rewatches to be totally certain of. But I want to get some stuff down here as a starting point, and then see how my opinions develop as time goes on. So, let’s ramble. 

General Thoughts:

I’ve been trying to figure out my overall sense of it, and I can’t really decide if it was a letdown or not. I don’t think it was explicitly disappointing, but the fact of the matter is, it was never going to be everything we wanted. It never could be. The best way I can put it is this: throughout the past year, I’ve had a lot of fun theorizing about what could happen in Endgame. Infinity War set up enough exciting possibilities, and as a fandom person, I specialize in coming up with things the narrative could do/could have done but didn’t. So the second that one potential plot was locked in as the one they were going with, there was a certain amount of wistfulness at the paths we weren’t going to take. That’s no one’s fault. They had to decide on something, and this was essentially what I’d expected for a long time. Still. When trying to figure out today if I feel like the movie delivered on a general level, I can’t really say it didn’t, but I can’t say I feel wholly satisfied either. Alas. That’s what fanfic is for.

So to that end: the movie was fun. It was a lot of fun to watch. After all that buildup, I was just tremendously excited to see what was actually going to happen. It was an enjoyable watch, and parts of it were quite good. Other parts, less so. I think they did some things very right and had a few very big misses. But I appreciate what they were trying to do, and I appreciate that I saw the care in at least most of it. They dropped the ball hard on a few things, but at least on first watch, I could feel the import of it all. If nothing else, it had the tricky task of placing a capstone (lol, Cap stone) on the extraordinarily ambitious experiment of the MCU, so if I feel a little residual malaise afterwards, well. At least I know they tried. 

When I think back on the movie, it seems like it naturally breaks into three parts, roughly corresponding to each hour of the movie. I think these three parts are uneven in quality, but they all had their strengths and weaknesses. To break them down: 

Part One, which I basically categorize as everything up to the Time Heist

Part Two: the Time Heist itself

Part Three: everything post-Snap Deux

And just as a last note, I’m sort of grouping the Russos and Markus and McFeely into one big team, so when I say the Russos, I’m usually crediting (or blaming) everyone in said team. Just a shorthand. 

For your mercy, since this became genuinely embarrassingly long, the rest is under the cut. I wish I could have collapsed each part into sections, but tumblr is so very limited and I couldn’t figure out if there was a way to do it. So this is what we’ve got. I split it up into sections under headers so you can scroll through to whatever part might interest you, so hopefully that helps its readability at least a bit. Beware: there is a veritable essay under the cut. But let’s bravely forge forward, friends. Onward! 

Part One

The movie was a little slow to start. On the one hand, I truly do appreciate that they tried to give the characters introspective moments instead of having it all be flash bang battle boom. That’s what we’re always asking for, and it’s what these movies need a lot more of. Unfortunately, I’m not 100% convinced they nailed most of said character scenes. I can’t remember everything - after all, I’ve only seen it the once, but I hope to shore up my evidence upon rematch - but while some of it worked for me, some of it didn’t. To make it even more complex, sometimes that happened within the same scene. Prime example:

The Steve and Nat scene. I loved it for Nat. I didn’t like it for Steve. In a very confusing way, this movie both did good and did very dirty by both Nat and Steve. I thought Nat’s characterization was very good. At last, her arc was focused on who I really think she is as a person: someone who cares very deeply about the people she’s let into her life, and someone who puts tremendous pressure on herself to fix everything. Her pain at her failure worked for me. Her inability to let go of what happened tracked. She was vulnerable and emotional but not in a way that betrayed the steel of her character. More than anything, she was allowed to be a person and not just the Sexy Femme Fatale with a snarky line, oh boys, eye-roll hair-flip hip-sway. I’ve said it before and this movie just further proved it: I only trust the Russos with Natasha. They’re the only ones who get her, who let her be multifaceted, who let her be whole. I love them for that, and this movie delivered me Nat in the way I was hoping it would. That’s a definitive Good in its favor. 

Alas. The Steve of it all. I have a lot of things to say about Steve in this movie, and I’m still trying to work it all out. His was the journey I was most focused on, understandably, and the one I was both most anticipating and certainly most dreading. Steve was barely in Infinity War, so I was very curious to see what they’d do with him when he took up a proper leading role again. And...I’m just. I don’t know. It wasn’t bad, mostly (aside from one very large asterisk, but we’re gonna talk about that a lot more later). But it wasn’t great either. It was. Fine. He wasn’t explicitly out of character, but he didn’t feel so essentially Steve like he did in the first two Cap movies. He had great moments, and he had meh ones. I think the scene with Natasha highlights a lot of what felt a little off about Steve for me. In theory, a scene in which Steve and Natasha commiserate would be my absolute bread and butter. But while Natasha worked so well for me, Steve seemed, if not wrong, still a little off. He seemed distant, a bit cold. I guess I just didn’t buy that Steve wouldn’t have been right there with Natasha during those five years. The implication that he’s been largely absent struck an off chord for me. If Nat’s the one in the chair managing the team, Steve’s the first person she’s sending out. Even more, Steve’s the guy in the kitchen, making her a cup of tea to make sure she’s hydrating. Their friendship was there, but it didn’t feel as vital as it did in Civil War. And it was essentially dropped after this scene, which is no good at all. So I don’t know. I think I need to see this scene again - it’s possible I’m not remembering it entirely well. But the fact that it wasn’t a scene I remembered as a standout means there was something missing. 

As for the rest of Part One, I thought it was a bit slow at first. I liked that they didn’t waste much time in going to get Thanos, because that tracked for me, but after the 5 Years Later title card, it started to drag a little. I did like the sense of atmosphere it established, though. Even if the dark, looming haze was a little pathetic fallacy - I suppose Thanos theoretically could control the weather, but I doubt he was bothering - it made for an appropriately effective setting. But Part One felt a little like it was spinning its wheels til Scott showed up. Speaking of which: 

I loved the Scott stuff! Paul Rudd is just so intensely likable, and I think they did a surprisingly good job of incorporating the more lighthearted caper-y feel of the Ant-Man movies into what is usually a more serious Almighty Doom Avengers vibe. But even more, I thought that Paul Rudd did a really good job with the emotional stuff. He’s a good actor! He excels at comedy, but he’s also so good at that stuff because he gets at the emotional cores too. He wasn’t overdoing anything, but when he reunited with Cassie, when he referenced Hope, I felt it. He did great. Scott’s stuff was pretty universally good. 

The Hulk stuff...not so much. On the one hand, it was refreshing to have Bruce/Hulk to be more comedic than ‘woe, for I am a Monster,” but this was...um. Not my favourite. It was just silly. Like, not bad bad. But I definitely didn’t need it. The whole lunch scene was as close to cringe as this movie came, and it was pretty close. I guess I like what it says thematically that Bruce was able to meld the parts of him that had always been in conflict, but I suppose I was hoping for more after the Infinity War storyline. I wanted to know why Hulk refused to come out in IW. I was intrigued by that in a way I hadn’t been intrigued by pretty much any of Bruce’s story lines until then, and the fact that that all disappeared and we got this instead was, well. Let’s use the intellectual term and call it a bummer. 

That being said, Brulk (what I suppose I’ll be calling him from now on) immediately worked better when he went into Thor’s storyline. I maintain that Thor makes everyone better, but I never actually enjoyed any of Bruce’s arcs until Ragnarok, and this movie proved that, unsurprisingly, Thor elevates Brulk like he elevates Rocket and almost every other previously lackluster character he touches. it’s a talent. 

I...did not expect Thor’s strolling to be. That. I really, really didn’t. That was the one true surprise of the movie, frankly. It’s not what I would have picked for him. But I guess I’m not exactly mad about it? For me, Thor is at the point where any storyline, no matter how ridiculous, works for him. Thor’s so good at this point, and Hemsworth is so charming, that I really buy whatever they want to sell me with him (not all they’s. Not Josh Wheat-thin. But we were nowhere near that level of awful). And to be fair, though this was all mostly played for comic relief, I can’t say it’s not also warranted. Thor clearly went overboard with the self-isolation and coping mechanisms, which isn’t strictly in character. But he went through so much, such an outlandishly awful string of events, that I can see how it would break him. It’s a weird way to process all that trauma, but they did the work to get him to a place where I could see him reacting like this. Again, not something I ever expected, and certainly not something I would have written for him. But after all that? I mean, I get it. And the most Thor thing about it was that his version of a breakdown was still sweet and kind to others. He wasn’t great for his people, but he’d given them a home and set them up with leaders who could take care of them, so if he retreated, it wasn’t really abandonment at that point. And when people came to see him, he wasn’t dark and dramatic and all ‘no one can understand my pain.’ He’s not that guy. He’s just too innately good. So even though it was certainly odd, and definitely not my favourite storyline, at least they kept the core of him intact? I’m bright siding here, but still. It’s fair. 

Though truly, I have to say: there’s something about this that I find mildly annoying. Thor and Chris Hemsworth are extremely objectified, and I’m certain that this was intended as a dismantling of the expectations we have for Thor to be the sex god that he is. But also...I don’t know, man. After so many years of us having to endure oversexualized female characters, you couldn’t let us ladies have just this one thing? The one time a male character is openly subjected to the female gaze in any long-term way, and it becomes a joke to remove that? I don’t actually think there was any ill will there. But I do think it speaks to the continuing inability of male writers and directors to really get it. To be absolutely fair, the Russos objectify women way less than the other films do, but still. They might think it’s funny to make fun of a character’s broad sexual appeal appreciated by a female audience by undermining it, but really, it’s just more of the same. 

Yay Korg! Yay Valkyrie being the real leader! Boo Valkyrie still not having a name (seriously, it’s her JOB TITLE. She was one of many Valkyries. Give her a name, for fuck’s sake.)! 

Tony being such a dick at the compound was a surprising move. It was a bad look, but I was intrigued that they’d let their golden boy act that badly. Tony’s always had such deep flaws, but they’ve always been simultaneously excused within the text, so to have him be so rough without excuse was interesting. Of course it was setting up for his ultimate redemption arc, but still. And then cut to 5 Years Later, and finally. This is the TonyI was promised in Iron Man 3, the Tony I still cared about. I liked him again in Infinity War, but I needed to see how they’d follow up to cement it. I’ll never love him like I do some of the others, but the only Tony I ever wanted to invest in is the Tony we finally got, the one who was fully and properly committed to Pepper, and the one who did the work not for his ego or his lack of impulse control, but who did it after a mature and honest discussion with his partner about the pros and cons, about what he was risking and what sort of person it would make him. This movie was primarily a sendoff of characters, and I’m not sure how many were supposed to be fully sent off. Btu there were two characters as the main objective, and the movie at least nailed one of them. 

I was so overwhelmingly ready for Tony Stark, billionaire playboy philanthropist, to go to bed, and for Tony Stark, devoted husband and father who uses his intellect responsibly and thoughtfully, to come forth. He got to keep an edge, but it tempered the parts of him that made him so easy to dislike. It’s too late for me to be a full Tony convert at this point, but I enjoyed him in this movie, and thought he was served better than most, which was 100% to be expected. But frankly, what some people think is a good sendoff is not always what I think is, so I was worried. And I was right to be worried, but surprisingly, not about Tony. More on that later. 

The time travel tests were fun, but I still found everything involving Brulk to be kind of painful to watch, so. Not saying I didn’t laugh here or there, though. 

Was Endgame sponsored by Audi?? Seriously, why was there so much Audi product placement. 

I’m not sure I even want to touch whatever was going on with Clint. I don’t think it was handled particularly well. In theory, the idea that one of them snapped (lol, sorry) at the unfairness of the random dissolving and decided to take out the bad people who should have been snapped away is interesting. But it was so barely glanced at, so underdeveloped, and then proceeded to go nowhere. We were clearly supposed to be concerned at what Clint was doing, but then he suffered no consequences for it? No reckoning, no moment of remorse, no acknowledgement that he’d let himself go too far? What was it all for? I buy that Nat would sacrifice herself to save hi, but it was an extra bitter pill to swallow given that I’m not entirely sure this version of Clint was worth saving. Certainly giving up Nat for him was a price too high. 

The Biggest Flaw

One of the things that disappointed me the most was the lack of presence for the characters who were lost in Infinity War. For a movie that was supposedly about loss and a drive to regain, there was absolutely nothing specific about it? So the whole mission read as generic hero-type “we need to save everyone because it’s the Right Thing to Do,” rather than a need to get their friends and teammates back. Of course the team wants to bring all the millions of people back, and of course they feel a responsibility to them because they had failed to protect them. But where was the sense of loss about their personal friends? Where was the feeling of lacking, that they had to adjust because the people they’d been fighting alongside for years were now gone? Where was their guilt that they’d not only let down the world at large, but the people whose backs they’d promised to always have? I think that’s part of why the first hour felt a little lacking to me. They were all so ad, but about what? The personal stakes were completely removed. The only one who had any degree of it was Clint with his family, but we don’t care about Clint’s family beyond an abstract familiarity. I suppose Tony had his moment with Peter’s picture, which served as an effective motivation. But what about the others? Why were Wanda, Sam, T’Challa, hell, even Vision, never even mentioned? The people they’d lost, the soldiers who’d fallen. That’s what should have made this movie different from the other Avengers ones: not that the team lost a big battle, but that they lost so many of their own because of it. That’s what hit so hard in Infinity War, and why it felt unique. And they didn’t pick that line up again. Such a missed opportunity. 

It’s taken me too long to write all this and I’m starting to forget everything, so fuck it, let’s move on to Part Two. 

Part Two

This was unquestionably the most fun hour of the movie. It's also probably the hour that's going to hold up the best in retrospect, simply because it was a lot of fun and had a good amount of drive without feeling overwrought. A lot of it was gimmicky, but it was the kind of gimmicky that I'm fine with in this type of movie. It was an unrepentant trip down memory lane, complete with all the cameos that get people so excited, and it was a little silly, but it was also a good time. If it was a bit scattered, it was also nostalgic and served as a neat little retrospective of where we've been. So, while it was definitely a little trite in its execution, it was also a lot of fun, so I'm cool with it.

I was highly suspicious of who was assigned to which stone because I knew it was setting up for more meta things rather than practicality. Steve and Tony had to go together to have one last bonding trip, and to be somewhere where they could meet their respective Important People from the past. Nat and Clint had to go together because they were the only team who would be resonant enough for a sacrifice (it couldn't be Steve and Tony that early in the movie, and they would never let Steve and Nat be a team even though by rights they would be). There were definitely more logical times to get some of the stones (seriously, why wouldn't they grab the Tesseract when it was just hanging out in that wall in Norway? Or when it was safely on Asgard in the vaults before Loki took it? Or or or, etc. etc. They chose a window that gave them about 30 seconds to enact the plan. I know, I know the first Avengers movie is a soft spot for most people. But logically, that was very nah.). But whatever. 

The cameos! There were so many, and they were surprisingly high-profile. I had always expected to see Loki again in pretty much this exact scenario, but I did not expect for Robert fucking Redford to make a two-minute cameo. Damn, son. Once I realized we were in the big leagues of cameo season, it was fun to guess who might make an appearance, and even more fun to see people I never would have expected. 

You know who I was surprisingly happy to see? The Ancient One. We rewatched Dr. Strange as part of my Marvel marathon a few weeks ago, and as thoroughly mediocre as that movie is, I forgot how much fun she is in that movie. Tilda Swinton is just really good. So she was kind of a delight. I still don't get her absolute faith in Stephen Strange, of all people, but I liked her scene even if I still don't really understand what the weird wizards do. It was also really nice to get to see Mark Ruffalo instead of Brulk for a bit. 

Seriously, Robert Redford! And holy shit, Rumlow! Super didn't expect that. And that elevator scene! I totally expected a repeat of the Winter Soldier elevator fight, though I'm not actually mad we didn't get one (it would never live up to the original, the Best).

Loved seeing Frigga again! I don't know that I buy Thor being that unable to rise to the occasion, and his therapy interlude with his mom was kind of a weird left turn. That being said, I liked it, and I'm happy they got to have that time, and I love Frigga and want to bask in her wiseness and perennial chillness always. It was sweet. 

I was also totally shocked to see Natalie Portman again (though I think I saw a headline that it was actually just old footage? I haven't confirmed that, but it would make more sense than Natalie Portman coming back for all of four seconds of filming), and I 1000% appreciated her (mostly off-screen) request for pants as her Asgardian wardrobe (which was subsequently denied). I love Jane. I miss Jane. 

So this now paves the way for random Loki appearances in the future, yes? Ngl, I grinned when Loki just noped out of space, and I'm all for vague possibilities of further Loki. Even if it raises a ton of questions about the space-time continuum (seriously, we're gonna talk about that), it was still fun.

I actually liked the Howard/Tony stuff. It was definitely a little saccharine and on the nose, but not too much. It worked, and it was sweet, and it gave Tony a nice moment that I think only really worked because he'd finally become the more mature version of himself. I buy that the Tony of 5 Years Later had a better understanding of Howard, and tried to give comfort instead of taking his own absolution. The Tony of all the other movies would have made this interlude about how he could assure himself of his father's love. This Tony just tried to connect in a way that seemed unselfish. While I was still lowkey stressed because, seriously, you guys are gonna get caught if you're just strolling out in the open like that, we know they're looking for you, I still liked this part well enough. 

Steve and Peggy, though...look. I don't know. We're gonna go much more into detail about this later, and some of this is clearly my own bias. But a) I do not care for the weird clearly film screenshot photo on Peggy's desk, which is a 100% no, and b) something about the chance of it all irked me. I'd buy Steve seeing Peggy's office and going in, but that he happened to hide in there? Nah. Not my fave. And him gazing wistfully at her...like, in theory, romantic? But I was already certain about where we were going with this, so all I could see were the problems in store, and I couldn't really enjoy it. Much more on that later. 

For the Agent Carter fans, I certainly appreciated the Jarvis cameo. I still haven't watched the show, but nonetheless. Cute. 

Steve vs. Steve

Look, I should have known better than to think that an Avengers movie could go without a big set piece internal conflict fight. This one was slightly less egregious because at least it made sense, but man. Every Avengers movie (Civil War included) features some big fight scene between friends and colleagues, and I’ve never known why Marvel is so into that when there are so many actual bad guys to fight. This scene at least led to some funny moments, but for real, why can’t these movies resist having the Avengers fight themselves, and in this case, literally themselves? I’ve always found it baffling. 

Meanwhile, more of me close-reading things that probably aren’t there: I like to think that the absolute bland stodginess of 2012 Steve is a veiled reference to Josh Wheat-thin’s paper-thin one-dimensional understanding of Steve Rogers. Maybe I’m giving the Russos far too much credit for this (I probably am), but Russos-brand Steve knocking down Wheat-thin’s Not!Steve was a physical manifestation of something I’ve long intellectually felt, so. It’s only that reading that kept me from sighing at how boring 2012 Steve was for a thousand years. So I’m sticking to it. 

That is America’s ass. 

Much like with RDJ and Tony, Steve has always been at his finest when they let Chris Evans and his charm bleed through. So the “I could do this all day,” *sigh( “yeah, I know,” was a clear comic highlight of the movie for me. That sounded like something Chris would say in an interview. Chris Evans is a funny guy! His actual personality (at least his public personality) is what won me over to him long before I started to like Steve. So whenever these movies let him be Captain America as played by Chris Evans rather than dull manifestation of watered down American values whatever that means Captain America, played by Man Who Is Not Robert Downey Jr., I consider it a win. That’s one of the Russos’ great strengths: that they let Steve be fun and quippy too. Not as much as RDJ gets to be, naturally, but still, their Steve gets to have a personality intend of being just a haphazard pile of tropes. The Russos nail him in varying and inconsistent degrees, less well in the bigger movies and never so well as in Winter Soldier, but at least they understand that you can have more than one character with a personality, unlike certain unnamed hack writer/directors whom I shall never stop excoriating. 

You know what I didn't love, tbh? Steve using "Bucky is alive" as a cheat phrase to shock 2012 Steve into letting him go. In theory, I can appreciate it. Steve knows that the only thing that can make him freeze is a reference to Bucky. It's a callback to what he talks about in Civil War - one mention of Bucky and he becomes 16 again, etc. etc. I get it. I understand that the Russos are sort of trying to throw a bone to the Steve/Bucky fans out there. However. Given Bucky's complete lack of presence in the rest of the film, it felt cheap? I never fooled myself so thoroughly into thinking the Steve/Bucky crew would ever get anything but crumbs, and that's exactly what they're giving us. But it's about what I discussed before: there was no feeling of loss throughout the entire movie, no lingering presence of the friends who'd been snapped away. I never thought they were going to have scenes of Steve caressing a picture of Bucky and weeping. But Steve didn't seem to care at all about who specifically was gone beyond a vague "we let down the world," so when he said this, it felt like a trick. It felt like manipulation, which it was, but it made Steve seem cold and dispassionate. Like he was playing his past, more emotional self. Idk, Steve was just so weird to me in this movie. He had awesome moments and then 30 seconds later, would have moments like this, which don't feel like Steve at all. Because he uses this cheap shot, gets 2012 Steve knocked out, and then doesn't follow it up with anything relevant. Just makes a quip and bounces. And don't get me wrong, I laughed at the quip! I did! But it further diminished the moment before, how he'd so casually thrown out this bit of information that had been so important to him in previous movies. It was his entire character arc in Winter Soldier and Civil War. And here, it felt meaningless to him, and the rest of the movie sort of supported that reading, and man. It just made me sad. 

And now we come to Natasha and Clint and the damn Soul Stone. 

First of all, a lot of this scene was repetitive. I get that they have to understand how it works, but man, we just did this. 

Next, did Nebula seriously not prepare any of them for this possibility? I suppose she couldn’t have known for sure how it worked, but afterwards, she sure seemed to connect the dots pretty quickly. Sure would have been logical for her to at least mention that there might be something shady going on over there. 

Ok, so. The sacrifice. I don't mind how they played it. One of the most in-character things in the whole damn movie was Nat and Clint physically fighting to sacrifice themselves to save the other. It works. HOWEVER. I really just...can't with the Soul Stone. I think it's so flawed. I understand the notion of a soul for a soul, but sacrificing someone else's soul? That's not yours to give. I don't understand why the Soul Stone would decide that you understand its power because you're willing to kill. And even if you have to specifically kill someone you love, that doesn't make you responsible, it makes you a zealot, which is exactly what Thanos is. I know this is how it went in Infinity War. But in the ensuing year, I've thought about it a lot, and I became convinced that there must be another way, because the logic is so bad. So I came up with the idea that the Soul Stone will also reward people who understand that the initial deal is bullshit and won't give someone else for their own agenda. And during this scene in Endgame, I basically started to write my own version, in which whoever won the fight to sacrifice themselves, not for their own designs, but to achieve the true greater good that they wouldn't even be alive to see, would be rewarded with the Soul Stone. So if Nat jumps off, sacrificing herself for her friend, to save him and save the universe, she would become the master of the Soul Stone. This makes sense to me. This is a cool twist. And once I thought of this, I became so sure that this made so much more sense than the Soul Stone rewarding murderers that I wasn't even able to fully feel the emotion of it all. I was just surprised that I'd been wrong, even though of course I'd been wrong. They weren't going to do something clever like that if they had a chance for an emotional sacrifice. I got too in my own head about it all. So I had to react very quickly to a scene that was already ending because I just wouldn't take the signs for what they were. 

Nat was always at risk, and I can't be mad about how she went. Of course she'd sacrifice herself for Clint, and for everyone else. But as I mentioned above, is this really the version of Clint that Natasha should give herself up to save? It's not out of character for her, and hell, at least Clint brought up what he'd done for the only time in the movie, but still. This wasn't a good trade to me. To quote another super lady I love, I suppose it's not about what they deserve, but still. 

But most of all, the problem was that once again, we had to sacrifice a female character for the good of the men. Individually, neither of the Soul Stone sacrifices were bad choices. In Infinity War, it could only be Gamora for Thanos, and in Endgame, Nat's arc had been building up to this. It wasn't a bad sendoff for a character like Nat. But on the macro level, just. I'm tired. And all it does for me is pinpoint the problems with having such a lack of female representation in the movies. They're doing better now than they were. Truly, they are. But after Nat dies, we have this scene of five men being sad and angry and throwing things, and it just drives home again and again that Nat was the token girl in the Avengers. There couldn't be another woman in that reaction scene, because in 2012, Marvel wouldn't invest enough in female characters beyond the Only Girl, so that's what we're left with now. If we want to foreground the original six Avengers, and we want to give Nat a dramatic death to finalize her journey, all we can do is filter that through manpain because those are the only characters we have left. And I know this is an old wound. It's futile to rail against it, and at least Marvel's kind of trying a little now with their newer movies. But the rot is still there, deep in the foundations, and it makes this stuff hard. Nat has as much right as anyone else to get a dramatic sacrificial death. But I didn't need both the Soul Stone sacrifices to be both the token girls in two sausage fest teams. I'm simply tired. 

Beyond that, when Clint comes back and the team reacts to Nat's death, Brulk didn't deserve the first reaction. He just didn't. At that moment, I was literally sitting there thinking, if they don't cut to Steve, I swear to god...and they did eventually. But Steve and Nat's relationship was so much more developed and meaningful than Bruce/Nat, so it frustrated me that Brulk got to have the big reaction. And frankly, it frustrated me that once Clint showed up, Steve and Nat's friendship was essentially dropped. I like Nat/Clint. I do. Their friendship worked for me in Avengers 1 in a way that pretty much none of the other relationships in that movie did. But Clint isn't Nat's best friend anymore. I don't begrudge them getting their moments, but I do begrudge the movie for sidelining Steve/Nat after that one scene, which already sidelined Steve/Nat in its implications. Frustrating, and out of character for the Russos. 

Not to mention the scene of them being sad together was very meh. I don't go for manly displays of sad aggression, even if you are part-Hulk. And their whole handwaving of 'she just can't be brought back, just deal with it!' Weak. I don't care for being told to just accept something you haven't explained. I think we all hoped there would be a more nuanced portrayal of whatever the Soul Stone is, shadowy and mysterious as it seems, and there just wasn't. We had to take it all at face value. I'm not one for willfully undoing deaths, because of course that lowers the stakes, but still. If you have an all-powerful gauntlet that can make and unmake a universe, you're gonna have to explain to me why you can't bring someone back, even if the circumstances were particular. Clint is not some expert on the Soul Stone. He just decided this was how it had to be just...cause. Nope. 

The Snap

This was, if nothing else, interesting. It was perhaps closest to the detail that we fic writers crave, because they actually discussed who would wield the gauntlet and why. It was akin to something I'd write for this scene, though it went differently than my own would (will...you'll see.). And I'm glad that at least the arguments were logical. I always assumed it should be Thor but wouldn't be Thor, though I don't know that I buy them sidelining him like that. I think he could have handled it. But whatever. I had assumed that for thematic reasons, they'd make it be Steve or Tony, so I guess I appreciated that Brulk did it, because frankly, the gamma radiation explanation made sense. I didn't think he was a frontrunner going into this movie, but the reasoning was logical and sound, something I wish there'd been more of in some of the big events of the movie. 

What I don't understand? The gauntlet itself. I don't really see how a random Iron Man suit glove would be enough to channel the Infinity Stones? They never fully explained how Thanos's gauntlet worked, but presumably metal forged from a collapsing neutron star would be formidable and unusually strong. I get that the Iron Man suits are fancy, but they're still just Earth metals. This has always been an inconsistency in the MCU that's bothered me - Tony's suits have intermittently been able to stand extreme displays of force only to become vulnerable to the elements a few scenes later - but this still seemed a bit handwave-y. It certainly won't make or break the movie for me, but hell, if I'm airing every single thought I had during this movie, which judging by the length of this thing I sure seem to be, well. Might as well mention it. 

I've forgotten to discuss all the Thanos/Gamora/Nebula 2014 stuff. Frankly, that's because it was the least interesting part of this segment. It was fine, but when I figured that Nebula would have a big role to play in Endgame based on what I'd heard about the comics, I didn't think it would be to our heroes' detriment. I grant that it wasn't her fault, but man. Everything that went wrong did so because of Nebula, and that's a rough thing to put on one character. 

This part also falters because in retrospect, that was another aspect of the time travel set up that failed. We're gonna go into the time travel problems in a devoted section, but if anything didn't make sense even at the time of watching, it was this stuff, which made it hard to love. Also, I've had more than enough scenes of Nebula either being annoying or tortured, and I just. Don't care. I've warmed to her more lately, but I'm still not invested in any of that stuff. I stand by my statement that Gamora is the only one worth anything in the entire Guardians franchise, and while it was nice to see her again, I don't love all this stuff going wrong because of an inconveniently timed technical glitch. 

The abrupt and brutal transition from Part Two to Part Three was intense, and I was into it. Part Three had some problems, but a lack of excitement certainly wasn’t one of them. So let’s get to it. 

Part Three

The momentum of the big battle was pretty excellent. Once it got going, it didn't stop, and if this is what these movies were building towards, well, it certainly did the job. As epic battles go? This one was really good. I think it got that edge because for once, we genuinely didn't know who would make it out. Shows and movies always tease that this one could be the one, no really, we mean it, so much stakes, such high stakes! And they never follow through. But we knew someone wasn't getting out of this one. It was even money at this point whether it was Steve or Tony or Thor (yeah, I said it. I wasn't sure about him), but I think we all knew that all of them surviving after all of this would be a cheat, so. Someone was going. And yeah, we all fretted about it in Infinity War, but we always knew there was another movie to go. This one is the confirmed end for some of them. So it wasn't a matter of if anymore, but when and how. And that, finally, made this battle feel breathless in a way that none of the others could. It's not that I'm bloodthirsty. I am absolutely not someone who thinks you need to kill off major characters in order for it to mean something. But to genuinely not know what was going to happen for once? That's an experience that a jaded over-analytical girl like me doesn't get a lot, and it's pretty unbeatable in terms of anticipation.

Having them split up like that from the get-go was fun. Clint clutching the gauntlet and running through the hallways away from those awful unexplained monsters was exciting as hell. Scott running to save the ones trapped in the flooding basement was great. I don't really understand why Thanos was just sitting there, but having Steve, Thor, and Tony as the ones face to face with him was smart, because those were the main guys, so you never had that sense that nothing important could happen yet. The big characters were present at the epicenter from the get-go. 

The billowing dark smoke and crumbling rubble were an excellent atmosphere. If nothing else, this movie did scenery very right. It felt apocalyptic without being unexplained. 

The Fight

The thing about me and fight scenes: I get super tired of formulaic, generic fighting. Big car chases, too much CGI, muddled directing, it bores me. The first couple of Avengers movies were like that, which made the fight scenes eminently skippable to me. But a good fight scene? I love it. I absolutely love good choreography, sharp directing, the way it can feel like a dance. This is why I can't say enough about the Winter Soldier fight scenes. They're exquisitely put together, and I find them utterly invigorating every time, no matter how many times I've seen them. This fight scene? It was somewhere in the middle, but it edged more towards the good end of the spectrum than the bad. The Russos are very good at directing fight scenes. They're not always awesome at articulating the reasons for said fight scenes (looking at you, Civil War), but they are adept at making fight scenes feel coherent and exciting. This is often because they understand that you need a focus. The focus can shift, but in every aspect, you need to have someone you're following, and you need to be able to understand what's going on. And more than anything, I think the Russos are good at centering on the physical toll that a fight takes out of the characters. Sure, there's a ton of CGI. You can't get away from that with a Marvel movie. But they're great at filtering it all through the perspective of a character, and they're best at it with Steve. They get right to the core of the grittiness of Steve in a battle. You feel his struggle, you feel how much it hurts when he gets knocked down but still gets up, again and again. This was not my favourite battle scene in the MCU, but I liked it a lot, because you feel like it means something. It isn't just an excuse to have cool explosions and CGI weapons going wild. This battle said something about who the people fighting it are, and that's the best case scenario for what this scene was going to be. 

I can't remember everything about the battle. I'll have to fill in some of the blanks upon rewatch. But hey, it was fun. I don't really understand why Thanos's weird blade thing was so powerful. I really don't know why it was able to slice through Steve's shield like that. But if I try to close read a battle too deeply, well, there lies madness, so. There was enough going on in distinct sections of the field that it kept things interesting. I knew everyone was going to show up at some point (thanks, Sebastian Stan, for spoiling that, like, a full year ago), but I didn't feel like we were spinning our wheels til then. And let's be real, most of it was Steve vs. Thanos, which was a good time for all sorts of reasons. Especially this one: 

STEVE AND MJOLNIR!!!!! Listen. Listen. I know I'm being played to. I know this is just one of those overly manufactured moments specifically designed to make you go "fuck yeah!" I knowwwwww. But goddamnit, it worked. Boy, did it work on me. The way they directed it, the way they hadn't tipped us off too much (like they did with some other things), all of it...I did go fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, man. That's my guy with Thor's spare hammer, because he's worthy and he's wonderful and he's gonna fuck Thanos up with it. And I remember when this stuff was first teased way back in Ultron, it annoyed me, because a) I didn't care about Steve at the time, and b) it didn't make any sense. Mjolnir is supposed to choose the person who is worthy to rule Asgard, and that was already Thor. Why would the hammer switch allegiances, and what, would Steve then rule Asgard? But at this point, Thor's got a new weapon, and more than anything, Asgard is gone. The hammer's choice no longer has real world consequences. It's merely an indicator of personal value. And that's Steve. So, fuck yeah. 

Again, it only really worked because the hammer wasn't choosing Steve instead of Thor. It was in addition, and Thor had Stormbreaker anyway, so I didn't have to feel threatened on Thor's behalf. But also, it allowed for little moments like, 'no, you get that one, I get the big one,' from Thor, which was delightful, simply because Steve and Thor's mid-battle engagements are always delightful. That's a tradition I'm pleased got to be continued in this movie. 

I know what they were doing, I see what they were doing, but hell, I'm gonna treasure the image of my man wielding the shield in one hand and Mjolnir in the other. I never knew I wanted it until I got it, but I will take it and cherish it always.

I'd been waiting for everyone to show up. I didn't know how they were going to do it, but I knew they were, because, well, Sebastian Stan had told me so, but also because I knew Marvel could never resist having everyone fighting all at once. That's what this movie was made for, let's be honest. So it was only a matter of time. However, I didn't know how they were going to do it, and frankly? On your left. ON YOUR LEFT. Reader, I loved it. 

Sure, all the portals were a little silly. How did they coordinate so quickly, and why did they all show up at once instead of each of them just coming in when they were ready so they could help as quickly as possible (I mean, we know why. But diegetically, etc. etc.)? And this was another one of those tailor-made 'fuck yeah' moments that more often than not make me roll my eyes instead because of the desperate transparency. But you know what? It was fun. I know what this movie was, and this was what it came to do, and I am capable of just enjoying it. So I did. Everybody shows up and the wizards are finally being useful and you know it's time to just abandon yourself to the crazy and let it all happen. It's grand. 

But truly, on your left was a perfect way to do it. Maybe I should have called it, except that I never would have assumed that something so precious to fandom would actually be what the film itself chose to do. There were certainly a disproportionate number of references to Winter Soldier in this movie overall, which I appreciated, but this was a dream. I got chills. Elegant, lovely, character-appropriate. A++. 

Once the madness got going, I was just along for the ride. I don't have a lot to critique about the battle royale. It was a lot of fun. There were little things peppered in that elevated it - particularly whatever character reunions we could get quickly. I was particularly partial to Scott and Hope and their smiles at each other (plus Hope calling Steve Cap. We'd just watched Ant-Man and the Wasp the night before, so I freshly remembered Hope mocking Scott for calling him Cap, and then here this was as a cute little reference to reward the loyal. Not too heavy-handed, but little sprinkles for the devoted fans, and that's the kind of care for the seriality of the MCU effort that I appreciate from the Russos). It was impossible to give every character fair play, but I enjoyed the characters who did get moments. I liked the team work of passing the gauntlet between people. I did wonder if anyone would put it on, but no one did, and I see why. Still, it was a fun sub-mission within the larger battle. 

CAROL. I haven't talked nearly enough about Carol in this movie. She was sadly not in it that much, which I suppose makes sense (apparently she filmed this before Captain Marvel? So she really wasn't fully Carol yet when they were doing this movie). But I appreciated that her clear power superiority was suitably respected. And before she turned up, that moment when the guns turn around and everyone's like, 'what are they firing at?' And I knew, I knew. And my mind screamed CAROLLLLL and there she was and it was glorious. 

The charge of all the women. Look, I know 100% that I was being played. This is the kind of soulless pandering to your female audience to make them think they're getting a lot more than they are. We've already talked about the iffiness of the female presence in this movie, and how they're continually sidelined for plot reasons. That being said. I can see what they're doing, I can roll my eyes at the manipulation within it, and still fucking love it. I can. I contain multitudes like that. And when all the women marched boldly across the screen to protect each other and break through the fight, I absolutely fucking loved it. I teared up, honest to god. I LOVE THEM. I love these women and I love their power and I will cheer with abandon at their strength and solidarity. I absolutely understand that this was yet another manufactured moment designed to hit at people exactly like me. And yes, I can be critical of the fact that they're not giving us more than token moments. But I will still love this moment, because look at all those women. I meant what I said when I admitted that Marvel's at least been doing better in recent years, because the fact that we even have women in the double digits to fill this scene is the result of maybe just the last three years or so. It's not enough, but it's better than it was, and I hope it leads to a better future. So my heart swelled and I smiled like crazy while my ladies got their moment. May it be merely one of many more. 

Also, Pepper got to fight! Loved that. I have long felt cheated out of the Pepper Extremis storyline, so while this doesn’t make up for it, hey, it was something. 

I don't know why it is that Tony and Dr. Strange as a pairing work for me. They're two characters I've had tremendous problems with who are somehow very interesting together. But when Strange looked at Tony and held up the one, and it was a quiet, intimate little thing amidst all this chaos - it got me. I don't know. Something about it was very affecting. The moment of understanding between them, and what Tony rose up to do. It really worked. 

So, Tony. Frankly, this was precisely the kind of moment I anticipated Steve going out in, but they gave it to Tony instead. I'm both surprised and not. They were always going to prioritize Tony and his journey. That being said, while I intellectually understood that Tony was at risk in this movie, I never really thought Marvel would have the stones to actually kill him and thus make it impossible for him to return. I was too spooked from the last round of wrapping up Tony's character arc only to strike a deal with RDJ and thus rework the entire MCU specifically for his benefit. So yeah, I could never fully wrap my mind around Marvel really letting him go. So in that, I was genuinely surprised. But on a narrative level? It worked. Yeah, this is something I'd have expected Steve to do instead, but honestly, Steve didn't need to do this to prove what kind of person he is. Steve was always the person who would sacrifice himself to save everyone. He's done that already, and he'd do it as many times as he needed to (the ending of this movie notwithstanding, I guess...). There would be nothing added by Steve sacrificing his life by using the gauntlet except an extra sharing of tears. Tony, though? Tony needed something like this to fully complete his journey as a character. Let's be clear: he didn't need to die. I'll never say that someone needs to die to achieve full redemption or growth. There are other ways they could have come to this point with Tony. But this is one way to do it, and it's not wrong. Really, it should have been someone else. There was probably time, and other people on the field had a better chance of surviving the Snap. But if you're in that situation, and you're maybe not thinking totally clearly and things are looking rough and you see an opportunity like that? Yeah, I get it. Tony's always been impulsive, and his growth in this movie tempered his impulsiveness. But if he's going to have impulsive moments, it's progress that they're for the genuine good. 

In a lot of ways, this climax was formulaic. While it's a stretch to call Tony a father figure, he's still a sort of father figure of the MCU, and they're usually the first on the chopping block when it comes to epic fantasy conclusions. But I didn't really have a problem with it, because it was clearly meant to be a tearjerker, but it wasn't just that. More than any other character, Tony needed something that would really indicate that he'd changed as a person, become better. Of course Tony has put himself at risk to help others throughout these movies. But it's never been entirely selfless in the way this is, somehow. I don't know that I can articulate why it's different. But it felt different, and it felt like something that worked for his character more than it would for others. I don't doubt for a second that Steve or Thor would use the gauntlet without hesitation, and Nat already proved that she'd do the same. When Tony used the gauntlet, he suddenly held more control than he's ever had in his life, and yet he gave up control in the most powerful way he could have. Tony has always been obsessed with directing the narrative, creating monsters in his attempts to control the future. But by using the gauntlet, knowing what would happen, even as an extraordinary display of power, he's relinquishing his stranglehold on control and fully giving himself over. In order to win, we have to lose. In order for the Avengers to win, Tony has to lose. At the end, he understands that, and he accepts it, and Iron Man can really, finally die. 

His death scene was effective. I felt things, and I could definitely hear a lot of the theatre sniffling around me. They also did the right thing in terms of the relationships they foregrounded. I was genuinely worried that they'd have Pepper move away for Steve to be the final moment with Tony, and I was ready to riot, but that's not what happened. I'll give them credit for that. Rhodey, Peter, and then Pepper, and it absolutely should have ended with Pepper. I have always said that Tony only works with Pepper, and this movie did a good job of establishing his devotion to her and the way it's inspired him to finally be better. And I really liked how quiet this moment was, and how calm and strong Pepper was. It felt like a natural continuation of that scene they'd had earlier in the movie when they'd discussed what to do. They have matured together as a couple, they went into this understanding the stakes, and they are genuinely prepared to face the consequences. It was really nice, and it gave me emotions in a way that a more desperate show of misery wouldn't have done. 

I saw it coming, but I still appreciated the parallel of “but would you be able to rest?” to “you can rest now.” It was lovely. 

If Tony's death scene was handled well, his funeral was a bit more meh. I get what they were going for, and it was fine, but it didn't get me the way the previous scene had. It was a little too grandiose. I enjoyed seeing some of the groupings - special mention to the Pym/Lang clan, which I'm surprisingly invested in - but the slow pan to every single group was a bit overdone. At a certain point, we were reaching clusters of people who had no real connection to Tony, and a general pan up to include the crowd as a group would have sufficed. It definitely started to feel a little overindulgent. But what else did I expect. 

That video, though - that was the kind of stuff that does get to me more, even if it’s an easy get. I don’t have much to say about it. It was nice. 

And now we must discuss the thing I’ve least been looking forward to going through...

That Ending

I've been having trouble figuring out how exactly to tackle this. I'm honestly really curious about how other people viewed the ending, particularly people who actively ship Steve/Peggy. Because truthfully, this whole ending felt incredibly off to me. I'm trying to parse out how much of it is that it's an extremely fanservice ending for a ship I don't fully ship, but I don't think that's all of it. Regardless, I'd love to hear what people who do ship them thought, and if the pros outweigh the cons if you ship them enough. I've been trying to sort out if I'd feel the same way if it had been, say, Bucky that Steve went back to live with (in a 10000% hypothetical world in which a Disney-owned franchise would ever dare). It's hard to discount the effect of shipper goggles, and maybe I'd be more forgiving if I were more attached to the pairing in question. But I've been thinking about it a lot, and I just can't get past a few major things.

For one, let's get it out in the open: I didn't like the ending, at all. That being said, I was absolutely certain they were going to go this way. Not the whole time - for most of last year, I was still putting even money between Steve dying heroically and Steve getting stuck back in time. But once the trailers started coming out, I became increasingly sure. First, the Peggy compass makes an appearance despite the fact that I didn't even know Steve still had it (seriously, did it show up in any of the previous movies? Maybe it did, but it was unremarkable enough that I didn't remember). Alarm bells started to ring. Then they had that trailer with Peggy's voiceover, and I was certain. Listen. I know when I'm being primed. I see when they're trying to 'subtly' remind me of characters, themes, relationships. They were laying groundwork to make people think they'd earned this ending. And I tried so hard to make myself ok with it. I really, really tried. I prepped myself, I talked it through with myself, I warned myself again and again to make peace with it, because this is where they were going. But still, but still...man, I hoped it would be better than this. Even when Steve mentioned Peggy as the love of his life during that therapy group, which was more than a little heavy-handed and definitely not his style, and I became 100% sure that we were locked into this path, I gave myself another shot of 'prepare for this! It's happening!' and just hoped for the best. And instead. Well. 

The most essential problem of this whole, messy thing, is that time travel just doesn't work. It just doesn't. We'll hit on that again later, but if you're trying to come up with an elegant solution to a problem involving time travel, it can't be done. This movie came closer than some, but it's an impossible problem, and it always will be. Separate from the logical pitfalls, though, there are myriad character problems that this movie just didn't deal with, which kept me from being able to find any satisfaction in the ending. First and foremost, they never committed to whether Steve was going back in this original timeline or branching off into an alternate timeline. The only logical thing would be the latter, because otherwise things would start to become undone before our very eyes, but the fact that he's sitting by that lake in our original timeline at the end ruins that option. In the days it's taken me to write all this, it's since come out that the Russos claim that it was in fact the former - that he was in an alternate timeline and it's a mystery how he ended up back in this one - but the problem is, that is not at all supported in the text. I 100% believed he had stayed in this timeline based on him appearing in our timeline at the end, and there's literally nothing in that scene that would indicate otherwise. So, frankly, no matter what the Russos are saying in interviews, the film itself does not make that clear, and there's no guarantee that any subsequent films will reference what the Russos are hinting at in the future. So for the moment, we can only assume what we've seen, and that's that Steve went back in this initial timeline and lived out his life from 1970 to now with Peggy. And the problem with all this, the risk you take in taking on time travel, is that if Steve goes back to 1970 to marry Peggy and live out his life, there are two and only two options. 1. He goes back in time and alters things, because how could he not? All the things he knows, the people he can help, hell, the very fact that he's there at all - they all change what the reality of this timeline is, and the repercussions echo through to the present and the whole world suddenly shifts. But clearly, that's not what happened, because Sam and Bucky and Brulk are still there, they don't feel a thing, nothing's changed. Which brings us to 2. Steve goes back in time, understands he can't change anything because of the risk involved, somehow manages not to change anything unintentionally despite his presence there (in itself, a complete impossibility - time travel doesn't work), and chooses to live his life quietly, without affecting anything, and that's his happy ending. And that? Is awful. 

So let's say I buy it. Let's say I believe that Steve can go back like that and not significantly unmake the world. To me, understanding Steve's character the way I do? That isn't a happy ending. That's a tragedy. That means that Steve will have to watch everything that he knows is going to happen, every injustice, every crime against humanity, and just let it happen. He takes a back seat throughout all the wars and the misery and the atrocities. He sees someone walk into the road in front of a bus and doesn't try to help, because that would alter the timeline. There's letting Steve retire, and then there's letting Steve become an apathetic drone out of necessity. 

But even worse is the personal scale. When I complained about this to my sister, she said that a person wouldn't necessarily feel the need to avert, say, the Vietnam war, just because they knew it was going to happen. Sure, fine. I'd argue that if any person would, it'd be Steve, but ok, let's say for the sake of argument that I agree. But what about the stuff that hits closer to home? Even if we can accept that Steve wouldn't care that Bucky was still in Hydra's clutches for roughly 40 more years (and hey, this movie made an honest effort of trying to say that Steve only tangentially cares about Bucky, so maybe we are supposed to believe that), could he really be happy knowing that Hydra is growing and taking over the very organization that his wife founded, and is currently working at?? We know from Ant-Man that Peggy remains involved at S.H.I.E.L.D. until at least the 90s, if not longer. How could he watch her go to work every day not knowing what she was helping to create? What about the Starks? Seeing little Tony born, knowing he could help, maybe ease the tensions between Tony and Howard, help them come together? Only you can't, because if Tony doesn't have the childhood he has, then maybe he never becomes Iron Man, and what would happen then. So watching all that happen, and then knowing the exact day his friends Howard and Maria get violently murdered, and sitting back and letting it happen. Knowing that somewhere out there, Natasha is a child being trained to be a killer, being gaslit, being owned, and just leaving it alone. This doesn't sound like a happy ending. This sounds like a genuine nightmare - paralyzed, watching a slow-motion car crash that you know you could stop if only you could just stand up. It's horrifying. And that's what I'm expected to rejoice in? Because him getting to date Peggy again makes that all worth it somehow?

But fine, let's be absolutely, totally fair. Let's say it's ok for the Russos to just tell us what happened vs. everything they showed us in the movie itself. So, cool, Steve went back in time and sprouted off an alternate timeline. Fine. It's better than the alternative, that's for sure. But it still feels wrong for him, and here's why. The tragedy of Steve's story has always been in the longing to go back while facing the impossibility of it. He lost his friends, his girlfriend (I guess...more on that later), everything he knew. It's heartbreaking. It's a lot of why Steve and Bucky are so popular in this fandom - they represent that feeling of nostalgia that we all feel about our lives, brought to an extreme and fantastical degree, and it's fascinating material. You can't go back, but oh, wouldn't it be lovely if you could? Except what makes Steve so incredible, so resilient, is that he adapts. He wakes up 70 years later and everything is different and he finds a way to move forward. It's sad! It's so sad to think of him like this, this man out of time. That's why we have so many fics about some magic trick that lets him go back in time like he's always wished to. But I ask you - how many of those fics end with him staying in the past? Genuinely, I'm asking. I've never read one that ends like that. Because that's not how these stories need to go. Returning to the past is so alluring. It is. I'm an exceptionally nostalgic person, and I absolutely romanticize my happy childhood, or my teens, or my college years, when things were good, when things were easy. Everyone does. But you can't go back. Even if you somehow could, it's not the same, because you're not the same. That's always the moral of these stories, because it has to be. Because humanity is about adapting, about moving forward because there's just no other choice. And of course escapist fantasies of going back and fixing everything are fun. But I've watched and read a lot of sci-fi, and the message is always that that isn't really what it's cracked up to be. And there's a reason for that. 

But sure, let's move forward. Let's say he creates a branched-off timeline and is thus able to affect change in a truly Steve Rogers way. Cool! So I'm gonna assume he roots out Hydra from S.H.I.E.LD., he goes and saves Bucky, he improves the lives of his friends once they're born. Awesome! What a cool AU! Except. It's still kind of a miserable fate to wish on Steve. He can't save everyone, and he knows that. He can do some good, but rewriting half a century of history is too much for any one man, even Steve. But god, imagine the pressure. Imagine the guilt. He does what he can, but he can't fix everything, and he's Steve Rogers, so of course it weighs on him. And yes, you can say, that's what people live with every day! We know there's suffering out there, but we find a way to live through it! Yeah, of course. But you know why? Because we have the blissful luxury of not knowing for sure. We know there are terrible things out there, but a) we're not super soldiers, and b), we don't have advanced knowledge. We can know things are going on out there, but we also can't know that it isn't going to get better, that there isn't someone out there about to fix it. If you go back in time? You know for sure. You know how many people die in useless wars. You know about the epidemics, the awful chapters of human history. And you know it doesn't get better. What do you do?? You can't save everyone. But then your wife comes home from work and turns on the news, and you see the latest death count from something happening out there, and you sit there and think "maybe I could have stopped that." It's ghastly. Time travel is great for fantasies and quiz questions, but it's a gift that it isn't possible, because it would drive you to ruin. It would break your heart every day. So when people say it's wonderful that Steve got to be selfish and live out his life in the past? I can only see the things that are going to make his life miserable. I'd love to be happy for him, but instead, it's this. 

But even beyond all that, what about what it says not only about his character, but about everything that's happened in the MCU so far? Listen, I'm the first to say that his friendships with most of the Avengers were tenuous at best. When the Team Tony contingent of the internet railed against Civil War Steve for picking Bucky over his 'new family,' well, I didn't have a problem with that. It made sense to me. But he also wasn't abandoning everyone. He wasn't completely giving up the life he'd built. But by doing what he does in Endgame, Steve's basically saying he doesn't care about any of the people he's formed relationships with over the past 13 years as much as he cares about dating Peggy. And I...look. Some people will find that super romantic. Maybe I would have when I was, like, 19. But at this point in my life? Romance is great, but so are friendships. So are the bonds with people you've formed over years of trust and companionship. And giving up all of them for a chance at a girl you were into for a couple of years a decade and a half ago? That's not romantic to me anymore. That doesn't do it for me. Steve deserves his chance with Peggy if that's what he wants. But not at the expense of everything else. And I'm supposed to rejoice in that? That after 5 years of missing his friends, he spends, what, a week with them, and then leaves them forever? I'm very carefully trying to remove my feelings about the Steve/Bucky of it all for fairness, but what about Sam? What about Wanda? Remember that relationship that I was so attached to? Even removing the Avengers, there are people Steve loves who I can't wrap my head around him willfully leaving forever (especially since, god, doesn't Wanda need support more than ever right now? He doesn't even stick around for that?). I'll admit, I buy it slightly more now that Natasha's gone (sighhhhh), but even if she'd lived, I don't think the writers would have changed their minds about this ending, and then you'd better believe I'd be screaming bloody murder about this. I don't know, man. Maybe it's me! I have definitely turned on a lot of mainstream romance plots over the years! But god, isn't that what these movies were supposed to be about? The bonds of friendship, the bonds of brotherhood and comradeship, soldiers banding together against an insurmountable army? Am I still, after all of this, supposed to be happy that Steve drops all of his relationships so he can have another shot at an almost girlfriend? 

So let's talk about the Peggy factor. I love Peggy. She's wonderful. But you know what's a real sticking point to me in all this? We know for a fact that she had a life that she loved, lived fully and without regret. In her own words, her only regret was that Steve didn't get to live his. But I never took that to mean she wished it for him at the expense of hers. And yes, I'm sure she would have been happy with Steve too! Well, at least we can hope. But one of the greatest gifts Winter Soldier gave us was allowing Peggy to be a character separate from Steve. As much as I love her in The First Avenger, she still mostly served as a support in Steve's journey. But in Winter Soldier, they made it very clear that Peggy was her own person. That she was there for Steve, that she loved him and cared for him, but that her life was not dependent on him. She found her own adventures, her own happiness. Everything she built, she did on her own, separate from her connection to Steve. I loved that. It was so refreshing to have a character who had been conceived as a love interest get to boldly make clear that she was her own entity. That she was a whole person. And then...this. 

I'm sure that lots of people don't think Steve going back in time and marrying Peggy alters this. None of my irl friends seem to mind this ending like I do. But for me? It feels like a life stolen. Peggy got married! I'm not sure if she had kids, but she might have, and she had a brilliant career and made a name for herself. And Steve knew this. And he decided to make it all never happen. He inserted himself into a place he no longer belonged and took it all for himself again. I know that some people are celebrating this choice as Steve being finally, rightfully selfish, after a lifetime of sacrificing his own happiness for others. But this? It feels wrong. It feels willful. And sure, if it's in a branched timeline, maybe you can look at it sideways enough that it doesn't feel like the theft of a happy life to you. But it still says something about Steve that doesn't sit right with me. I'm all for Steve being less self-sacrificing. When I headcanon my ideal ending for Steve, it always involves him getting to take a slice of happiness for himself. But not like this. Not by undoing someone else's life, not by taking something directly from others. That's not Steve Rogers. 

Meanwhile, let's settle an area of confusion. When I watched the movie - hell, when I first started writing this - I thought he went back to live in 1970 after he dropped off the Tesseract. Frankly, that was the only good thing I had to say about this ending (and I did say it when I was discussing the movie with my friends directly after) - that by going back to 1970, at least Peggy had some time to live a life without him, and he just joined her partway through. But given how long it's taken me to write this, other things have filtered in, and I guess the prevailing wisdom is that he actually went back to the 1940's? I know the cars looked old, so maybe that was the clue, but I wasn't certain, and maybe I just hoped it wasn't the case. Because while this maybe makes it better on the Steve front, it makes it worse for Peggy. She doesn't get to live a life without him at all. And listen, I don't doubt Peggy Carter! I think she can do anything, and she certainly doesn't have to be alone in order to establish herself. But do we really think that in 1945, hell, 1950, 1965, anyone would think Peggy did it all on her own when she had Steve Rogers on her arm? That was part of what I loved about how Steve/Peggy went down. While it was sad for them on a personal level, it meant that after the war, during a notoriously sexist backlash era, Peggy's success was never attributed to her connection with Steve. But with this? It's absolutely unfair, but it would absolutely tarnish her own agency. And I think she would suffer with it. I have long thought that Steve and Peggy, if given the chance to be together in the 40s like they planned, would have actually run into some problems once the war settled down. I have a whole treatise to write on this that perhaps I will someday. It's not that I think they wouldn't have worked. But I'm not certain they would have, because I think the things that make them wonderful as people would have made it difficult for them to be a couple. And this kind of timeline fuckery is exactly the kind of stuff that I think would have tested them, and not necessarily in a strengthening way. Maybe I'm not giving them enough credit. I absolutely don't think they're doomed to fail. But by forcing them into this kind of trite 'happy ending,' this movie is asking me to ignore what I know about these characters, who they are and how they live and what they've done. That doesn't feel like a satisfying end to me. 

Beyond that, it's impossible at this point to separate the way I feel about Marvel's treatment of its women from what happens in the narrative. In the same way that I don't dislike Nat's storyline for her character individually, but I'm fully raising my eyebrows at them killing off the token girl in the team, it's hard for me to separate all that stuff regarding Peggy. Diegetically, Peggy deserves her chance with Steve. But on an outside level, it doesn't feel great that she exists solely as Steve's Reward in this movie. She doesn't even have any lines. She exists to be gazed at, and then to be danced with. I know we know Peggy's powerful and amazing. But the fact of the matter is, if you only watch the MCU, Peggy's only been in two movies, and one of them for only a few minutes. They killed her off-screen in Civil War. And then she's this in Endgame. Howard Stark gets a long, extended walk and talk with Tony, and Peggy gets this. It doesn't feel great! The exhausted feminist in me is always struggling with this stuff. Peggy doesn't have to be alone in order to be her own person! But I don't trust the MCU to put any of their women in relationships with men (even friendships, frankly), and have them still be the main characters. God, no one even says her name in the whole damn film. I'm probably nitpicking! Welcome to the hell that is living in my own head 24/7! Pity me.

God, I don't know. It's all so complicated. I might be entirely wrong in this. I really would love to talk to others about this and see if I'm just looking at this all wrong. But even though I've long known they were going this way, it's still precisely why I was hoping this movie wouldn't go the time travel route. That way lies madness. It just creates so many more problems than it solves. Problem is, when I planned for this eventuality, I always thought it would be an accident or some sort of necessity and that Steve would get stuck in the past. He'd get cut off back in time and adapt like Steve Rogers does, find the happiness in his new circumstances like he always has. But somehow, it never occurred to me that he would choose to go. That he would willfully decide, all on his own, without consultation or discussion, that he was doing this. And something about that particular change has just been rankling me. For all the reasons outlined above, it lessens Steve's character to me in a way that I never anticipated. I always wanted Steve to retire. My happy ending for him is having him find other, non-fighting ways to help people while also getting to live his own life. But I always wanted it to be his own life, not someone else's. I'm certain people will argue that Steve was never supposed to be in 2012 in the first place, that he was meant to live out his life in his own timeline. But that's not what happened, and the MCU asked me to invest in the last 8 years of Steve learning how to adjust to the extraordinary things that happened to him. If I wasn't interested in seeing that, I would have stopped after The First Avenger. While I understand that Steve getting stuck back in time would have done iffy things for his agency, I think I could have made this work if that was how it all played out. But by him choosing this fate instead, I'm having trouble embracing it as a triumphant end. I wish I could explain it better. I've been soul-searching all week trying to figure it all out. But it just makes me sad at the end of the day. 

Last of all, but it must be said: Sharon Carter deserved better than this. Listen, I remain the first to eviscerate that weird romantic curveball in Civil War. It was a hot mess. But the same damn writers who wrote Endgame wrote that romance too, and they don't get to nope out of their own mistakes. Listen, I'm a fan of acknowledging when something didn't work! I am very pro how the Russos handled the failure of Bruce/Nat! But the thing I liked so much is that they breezed past it, but still allowed it to have been a thing that happened. That significant look in Infinity War was literally all I needed. That was a 'we know this was a misstep and we're calling the loss, but it still did happen and we can't ignore that completely, so we're allowing a diegetic reference to it and then closing the book on that.' Perfect! All I ever needed! Steve/Sharon as it was handled was thoroughly a mistake and absolutely should have been backtracked. But it definitely feels a little gross for Steve and Sharon to kiss and then for Sharon to never be seen or mentioned again. Not even once. All it needed was some side-reference in Infinity War about how Steve's life on the run had been too much to manage between them. That's it! Call it a loss and be done with it! But to completely cut Sharon out of everything just to gloss over the narrative stumble and smooth the way for Steve to get back with her aunt? Yikes. And I say this as someone who has absolutely zero attachment to Steve/Sharon. I appreciate that they didn't double down on that. But snapping Sharon out of existence from the entire MCU was a cowardly way to do it, and I judge them for it. 

Two final petty things: 

I am a little salty about them using "It's Been A Long Time" as the final song, which I understand is a bit irrational. The only reason I know that song is because of Winter Soldier, but man, it's always been a Steve/Bucky song. And I guess the Russos didn't see it that way, and hey, Winter Soldier is their movie, but it only makes sense if it's about Bucky, because in Winter Soldier, Steve has been hanging out with Peggy for a couple of years now, and the song takes place just before Bucky shows up. I know, I know. Shipper goggles are powerful. But I also know how to close-read a film, so. My perspective is probably skewed, but it's also not wrong. 

During that ending, I so, so hoped the Russos would just leave it up to interpretation. When Sam asks about the ring and Steve elects not to tell him about it, I sent a prayer up hoping that the movie would cut off at that. Of course it didn't, for fan service and heterosexual romance reasons, but I really wish it did, because of this: 95% of people would have understood that the ending was exactly what it turned out to be. But for the other 5% of us? For god's sake, dudes, give us that sliver of wiggle room. Let us headcanon what we wanna headcanon. I've always wished this, even for fandoms that I'm not in - fans are great at running with things if you just give them the slightest bit of room. Just let them have it. I've always thought that J.K. Rowling put "19 Years Later" into Harry Potter precisely so that people couldn't do this and they'd have to accept her version of the future, and frankly, I think it's why people have always hated that epilogue, even casual fans. Let us imagine the future. Give us hints, do whatever, but throw a bone to the fandoms out there and let us have some fun. I mean, yeah, we can still headcanon elements of that ending (and we certainly will), but it's still disappointing. Unsurprising, but disappointing. 

Time Travel Doesn’t Work

It just doesn’t, guys. Every movie that takes it on thinks it’s different. They’re all convinced that they have the solution. And they never do. It always, always breaks down. And yeah, that sucks! Time travel is super fun! But it just doesn’t hold up, and I’m tired of movies telling me they’ve cracked the code when they just haven’t. 

I really don't understand why they thought one throwaway line from Brulk was going to satisfy all the issues with time travel. I appreciated that Rhodey and Scott brought up all the other time travel movies that thought they had it down, but Brulk's brush-off was nonsensical. Yeah, if you go into the past, that becomes your future. Everyone gets that. But that doesn't protect the rest of it. Steve can go back in time and live out his future in another period. I 100% get that. But everyone he talks to - their paths will all change because they met him. Events will alter, timelines will branch off. It's a mess. Don't talk down to us like we just don't understand how it works. We understand that it doesn't work. Fuck off, Brulk.

I briefly thought they had a pretty good thing going, though, when they came up with the plan of returning the stones to the exact moments they took them. Honestly? That would have worked. That time travel storyline would have been clean and logical. They were almost there! But then they had to go and have Thanos and crew come to the present from 2014. And then it all breaks down. I don't get it! Are we just branching off another timeline, but in the original timeline, the world is still terrible? I like the twist that we get Gamora back through 2014 version showing up just cause I love Gamora, but it simply doesn't make sense. Ugh, the more I think about it, the less it makes sense. I similarly love Loki grabbing the Tesseract and bouncing because a) it's a very Loki thing to do and b) it gives us a vague but real chance of seeing him again. But it also doesn't work! If Thor doesn't bring Loki back to Asgard, all of Thor: The Dark World doesn't happen, which means present day Thor can't get the Aether, etc. etc., and fuck, is anyone else's mind spinning? Say it with me: TIME TRAVEL DOESN'T WORK. It's just exhausting. But they were there! They were almost there, to a place where it could have worked! We were so close! Oy. 

A Confession

Alright, I have to admit it. I was wrong about how much this movie would center on Steve and Tony’s relationship. I’m very glad I was wrong. I am pleased that the writers understood that there were more important relationships to focus on. There was still a healthy dose of Steve/Tony thrown at us, but it didn't supplant too much. So, I’ll allow that I was more worried than I needed to be (about that, at least). I’ll give you guys that, Russos and co. 

Final Thoughts

This has taken me so long and gotten so thoroughly out of control that I'm certain there were big things I was planning on talking about that I'm just totally forgetting now. But I just need to be done with this thing. I'm sure I'll write a lot more about this movie over the coming months, but for now, here are just a few more things.

SAM!CAP!!!!!!!!! It could only be this way. But I'm so, so happy that the MCU acknowledged it. I have always, always said that it needed to be Sam. That Sam was the only one who made sense, the only one who was really capable of taking up that mantle. But I still thought Bucky was the frontrunner because he's a fan-favourite pretty white boy, and you can never discount the odds in favor of that. But they did the right thing! I'm so glad. All hail Sam!Cap. 

Thor becoming one of the Guardians of the Galaxy was legit the only thing they could have done to make me interested in seeing another Guardians movie if Gamora isn't in it, so damn them. Damn them for hooking me when I thought I could get free. Fucking genius move, that. Presuming, of course, that Thor is actually going to be in the next one. If he isn't, I riot. MORE THOR ALL THE TIME. 

So where do we go from here? I assume there are going to be more Avengers movies, but how and when? Are we going to establish a new core team? Do we really need a team when Carol's around? It'll certainly be interesting. I don't know how long the MCU is going to be able to sustain all this, but man, as someone who takes an interest this kind of stuff, it sure is fascinating. 

Ok, so this whole post got super embarrassing. I set out to write a series of bullet points and instead ended up with a 10-page essay. It's truly unreadable, and I know that. I tried super hard to make the format bearable on tumblr, but such a thing is obviously impossible, so instead it's this. I genuinely expect no one to have gotten through all of this, but hopefully some of you have found bits and pieces that interested you, because I'd absolutely love to talk more about this movie. I've been stewing in my own thoughts all week, and I want to bring in other perspectives. So come join me in over-analytical hell! 

#avengers: endgame #avengers: endgame spoilers #marvel #this is very‚ humiliatingly long #feel free to skim #but here‚ have a stream of consciousness rant about all my thoughts on endgame #and come talk to me about this movie #i'm still trying to work out all my feelings and opinions #this is just the start #yikes @ me

[asgardianhammer]

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(( Some Marvel Wank: An Essay by Mir, or, How And What Shall Be Ignored 5Ever Regarding Endgame. ( SPOILER HEAVY BEYOND THE CUT YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND, SO MUCH SPOILER )

To be honest, I am rewatching both Infinity War and Endgame this weekend, but for now I need to pour some salt truths and thoughts out about mostly Endgame. Very frankly speaking, Infinity War was mostly acceptable but also sort of forgettable in a weird ‘ I like it but I kinda don’t ‘ sort of way. It’s hard to explain, I might actually better liveblog into 1 post when I watch it again so I don’t miss any... thoughts on what happened.

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Where do I actually even begin with it? As someone who has watched Marvel start with Thor’s story, and abandon any sense and reason when it comes to his character development, I feel Endgame was honestly just a final nail in the coffin of an already deteriorated version of an otherwise glorious character. The final noose around his neck, the falling chop of the guillotine if you will. The weirdest thing is that they sort of did other characters dirty by doing Thor dirty, which is something I didn’t expect but oh well... ( sans Steve, per usual <3 )

New Asgard: I love the idea of it. I had envisioned the remaining Asgardians would be allowed to settle somewhere, and it makes sense it would be by a shore but also with mountains. Even though they would thrive in woodlands and mountains I feel the connection to the Vikings of old would give them this opportunity, and the location is fitting. Do I suspect they will resurrect Asgard properly at some point? Absolutely. They would want to rebuild much of their former home, and I feel that would be only possible off-Earth, possibly hovering above it.

Vakyrie: It warmed my heart to see her thrive, and seemingly happy. I don’t like it when trauma and PTSD, ( and gods know what else ) is glossed over by movies, but it’s understandable they couldn’t focus in depth on her character, or the Asgardians for that matter. That still doesn’t mean my greedy ass didn’t want it, or means that all is well and good, emotionally and mentally, for her ( or any of them ).

Thor: - cracks knuckles - Listen, my bias for him as a character should be clear and well known at this point. Everything about him, about the setup, intro, continuation and the overall approach was a joke, literally... 

I find it acceptable he wouldn’t be in a palace anymore, their main priority is getting their people back into the swing of normal life, coping with said life and this new world, and supporting each other. Nobody cares about glitter and gold at this point, and Thor def wouldn’t. He would NOT however live away from them. Post Infinity War, post everything, his people is what matters most to him right now, and getting revenge on Thanos. Showing him as a recluse makes no sense, and he would never, period.

Continuing on from that idea, let me make one thing very clear. I’m NOT against the loss of his physique, or whatever the hell that means, I’m not against the notion that he suffers from (suvivors) guilt, depression, and that various other issues would haunt and plague him to no end. Including poor coping mechanisms that goes with that. But painting him as someone who would wallow in self-pity, after everything he has experienced and been through, after everything he has lost? Not in a million fucking years.

These tantrums, and whining, and staying hung up on mistakes and a lost battle of all things, is going against everything he has learned over the years ( and considering both Taika and the Russo bros shat on all previous movies and everything they displayed, I shouldn’t have been surprised). Thor has grown and evolved from that brash, foolhearted boy, CHILD he was, with every step he has taken since being dropkicked in New Mexico, and with every loss and grief he had to endure since then. He was raised by a father who demanded loyalty and bravery from him since the day he was born, and raised by a mother who taught him compassion and seeing the good in others. He had friends ( AND LET’S NOT FRICKEN FORGET SIF IS STILL OUT THERE SOMEWHERE TYVM, don’t even get me started ) that have taught him how to persevere, that have encouraged him and brought him down a peg each time his head got too big. He is a MAN now, someone who doesn’t hide or run from his responsibilities, and definitely someone who will NEVER allow the woe is me to take his focus of his purpose. And speaking of purpose....

Not A King: Thor has always been reluctant to take the throne, this has been a red thread through his arc in the MCU, with waxing and waning intensity towards the issue. But judging by the comments ( mostly of the casual fans, but def some of the die hards as well ) people seem to believe he doesn’t want to be king at all. Honestly, I disagree so hard it makes my body itch. Thor is not Odin, and Thor has rarely understood, let alone agreed with how his father ruled. He didn’t want to be a king LIKE HIM. He didn’t want to be caged on a throne, and ( seemingly ) rule without a heart, without ACTIVELY doing something. That’s what he didn’t want. He is tempest made flesh, he has compassion and a heart, and he needs to DO SOMETHING. And he didn’t feel, for a very long time he was capable to be and act as a king without Loki, without someone by his side to do the ‘ hard stuff ‘, he thought he was incapable of doing what was necessary. He has believed himself unworthy often, of both his hammer and definitely of the throne, and after all this he will not cower and hide, and play Fortnite ( he would be an Overwatch or Skyrim dude anyway tyvm). This is why this... characterization if you may call it that, this story of self-pity and loss of confidence, is outright bullshit. It implies, once again, that he doesn’t learn from the past, and it’s regressing his character so much it’s painful. He would never ever run from his responsibilities, at this point in his life, and that’s why I cannot accept his renouncing of the throne, in whatever form that may be.

The Running Gag And Why It’s Gross For All Involved: I understand that contrast is funny by default, and that extremes, in characters, can be hysterical at times. I didn’t appreciate the Thor Is Fat jokes running through the movie, constantly. It made everyone participating looking like a douche in the process ( Rhodey for example, was so utterly disappointing I legit gasped...). Rocket is a character I expected cheap things from, but the OG 6 ( sans Steve, bless ) participating in it was so OOC for them it was cringe. They were there during the battle in Infinity War... they KNOW what he feels, they understand the guilt. And they would NOT act this way towards Thor.

A Moment Of Brightness: I’m happy with the closure he received with Frigga, fricken finally, but of course it had to be ruined by the ‘ eat a salad ‘ bit. Frigga would not give a rat’s ass about her child being fat, ffs. Steve wielding Mjolnir was magnificent and complies with my headcanons from years and years it makes my heart sing. Steve in general was a jewel in a sea of shit. The throwbacks to other movies were ingenious.

What We Needed But Never Received: A moment between Loki and Thor, at the very least, to offer some closure there as well. T’challa and his people being more than just canon fodder. Captain Marvel being used properly. Multiple characters just... being more than just screen filler.

In Conclusion: This topped my very disliked Ragnarok and that’s saying something. A proper synopsis will follow of course, and updates on the verses page per movie. As it stands I’ll probably be like 80 - 90 % canon divergent since the AoU era, and that’s frankly a-okay with me. 

#avengers endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #endgame spoilers #marvel wank #(( the amount of salt in this is huge #i'm aware #i also don't care #notmythor #i'll probably rant and meta some more on gif sets and pic sets once they start popping up ))

[arkus-rhapsode]

Captain Marvel Movie: My Thoughts

So I just went to see Marvel’s Captain Marvel and I have some opinions. Repeat, these are opinions. You are free to disagree with me if you so desire. I respect your decision, and I simply wish to tell you that this is not an objective dissection of this film. But before I do, I will be warning you (obviously) Spoilers Ahead. I will be putting this under the cut.

Other thing I’m warning of this (I cannot believe I’m doing this). I know this film has been having some controversy. And frankly I don’t give a shit. As someone has actually, y’know, watched the movie, I can say nothing about the controversy seems to have any effect on this film, nor should it. I’m saying my piece as a film goer.

So one last time spoilers ahead. You have been warned.

So before I talk about the film proper. I would like to give my general opinions the comic Captain Marvel Carol Danvers. I love her. I love Carol Danvers as character, she, in my opinion, is Marvel’s Wonder Woman. Her no nonsense attitude, but compassionate heart, would make for a great character in a solo film. As well as add some much needed diversity in terms personality in Marvel’s cast (Trust me, I was relieved by Black Panther actually not making jokes and being primarily serious).

I should also say, I love Marvel Cosmic. Seriously, Marvel’s cosmic stuff is so creative and you better believe I’m all for seeing them finally come to the big screen. To see the Kree and Skrull finally fight on the big screen, hell yeah. I was expecting the adaptation to have changes because getting the concept of the Cotati and the Celestials. But as long as its done well, it can work.

And boy oh boy, this movie was kinda underwhelming. Yeah, its not even like backlash hype, but this movie was kinda boring. It says something when during the first third of the film I checked my phone’s time. Yeah... Not a great sign. I do wanna say this though, the film does pick up after the first act. Like really it improves as it goes on, but boy is it bit of a hump.

Again, I wanna make this clear. This movie is fine. I recall people walking out of the theater saying I liked it. And as this is a marvel movie, it is better than other genuinely bad movies. But unfortunately as it isn’t strong one way or the other, its not in the best area. I didn’t mind that I saw it. For something to do for 2 hours it was nice. It got a few good laughs out of me. But boy this was... Kinda textbook Marvel film.

Okay, people have a tendency to say Marvel’s too formulaic or its too childish at times. And this movie fixes that. Oh not by twisting those formulas on its head like Black Panther. No it does the formula and removes most of charm. Yeah, this movie is Marvel films distilled. Everything in this film, you have seen done somewhere else, and done better.

Okay maybe I should get into the story. The story is again fine. It almost feels like a syfy channel original at times. And maybe that comes from the fact this movie had 5 writers and 2 directors. Cause boy this film is all over the place.

At first it seems like its all Kree vs Skrull, but its never really elaborated on why. There is no bitter history or reason other than they are skrull. Which is weird cause this film is exposition heavy. There’s one moment that sticks out and that was Monica telling Carol about her dad and her having a bad relationship. Now granted we saw a glimpse of this during one of many flashing sequences, but its never truly let sink. Its just the bare minimum. And Carol’s relationship with her dad and how he treated her is a big part of who she is.

But back to the juggling plots, when Carol lands on earth it seems like they wanna go the Thor 1 route while also there being a secret invasion. Which could work. Y’know, start of with the war, then Carol is trying to stop the invading Skrull who are planning on using the earth. But then it becomes a McGuffin run. Where the skrull apparently only want this lightspeed engine, and Carol must stop them cause... Skrull.

But then it turns out the Skrull are actually the victims this whole time and we need to get them off here before the Kree kill them. And I’m sure your asking, “what is even the point of this already?”

And that’s just the thing. This film is trying to be clever, but simultaneously, its really behind the times. Its almost fitting this is in the 90s as this feels like a 90s family movie. Its just so bland. Like got this ship dog fight in a canyon, its got the friend who lets the heroes go when they are suspects, and its got the whole, I was originally from here by looking at a photograph. By trying to be many things, it end up being nothing. Its just kinda okay. Not a bad movie, but when you’re in phase 3, this is shockingly more.

If this was like phase 1, maybe. But if you are expecting a Wonder Woman style film, this one is blown out of the water by WW. And I’m a guy who’s Marvel leaning when it comes to comics. But no Marvel, banking on this, its outdated.

In terms of characters, lets talk about Carol herself and her performance. Brie Larson is not a bad actress, but boy... The problem with her in this film is that Carol isn’t consistent in characterization. There are times in this film where I’m like, “Amazing, you got Carol.” Then there are times where she acts like a generic marvel protag. And then there are time “you really wanna go with that take?”

A wise word I heard was that how you know someone is the right fit for a marvel hero is you can see no one else playing that role. You can’t see Nick Fury not being played by Samuel L Jackson, you can’t see Iron Man not being played by Robert Downey Jr. etc. And unfortunately, I can see Carol being played by someone else. And it didn’t help that person was in this film.

Lashana Lynch acted her ass off in this film and was a better Carol Danvers than Carol Danvers. She played Maria Rambeau (Though really she’s playing Monica Rambeau in spirit, but given the time period, Monica is actually a little girl, but Maria acts exactly how you’d expect Monica to act from the comics and wibbily wobbly timey wimey) who is acting circles around Larson. She’s allowed to be very human while express a full range of emotions. While Carol is just kinda bland. (Also doesn’t help Monica was actually captain marvel before carol while she was still Miss Marvel) So if that’s one thing this movie got me eager for, it’s Monica Rambeau in the MCU.

Sam Jackson does a great job and is basically the linchpin of comedy in this movie. Yeah this movie’s humor is kinda non existent for a while. Again, it gets better as the film goes, but its again a slog. That said, Jackson handles the roles like a champ and is doing his best.

Talos was actually doing pretty good as a villain. He’s not Loki or Vulture, but he’s closer to Darren Cross from Ant Man. Having fun, while trying to be menacing. But he’s not a villain. Literally, the twist in this movie is the Kree were bad this whole time. Even though the point of the kree-skrull conflict is that both sides are wrong, nope. Skrull are the victims and they’re refugees. Christ, this movie basically told me, “Yeah, you’re never getting super skrull or a good secret invasion.” Christ.

All in all he turns in my favrite performance, but his Jason Statham impression is kinda distracting. I really think he could’ve been a good adversary in a better script.

No are real villain is Yon and he is basically Kaecilius from Doctor Strange. He’s Carol’s handler, he does that whole, playful banter while fighting thing. Then he disappears from film. Then it turns out that he’s the one who shot down Carol and that he’s the real villain. And he is not interesting.

Kinda comes with the fact that you literally didn’t make this twist until the end of the second act. So we have no strong impression of him as a character. Hell there is also his squad who fights Carol and its basically like watching the Black Order fight but blue. Its boring.

Oh there is the supreme intelligence. And that’s done so weird too. It projects itself int whatever form the person holds dearest (For Carol its Mar-Vell) and that seems like a great thing. Using the skin of a loved one, but in reality being nothing than cold unfeeling pragmatism. But then they start acting really gitty and emotional when they go into carol’s head again. This should be horrifying. This is just Jeff Goldbloom as the Grand Master lite.

Ronan also shows up in this movie. And he’s not the main villain! You have this chance to make Ronan (one of the most universally thought poor villain) and make him better. It would make a larger tapestry in films as we know what he’s like in guardians, but I would’ve like to see him before this. Show the seeds of just someone overtly self righteous that would bloom into zealous. I feel like this film could be much better with replacing Yon with Ronan.

But nope, in this film he’s just some asshole who is on screen for like 5 minutes. Oh but he’s got this group called the accusors that bomb out Skrull. Which also leads to this plot hole, why did Carol think that the Skrull caused ruins on the planet she visited? We saw her squad arrive while Ronan was bombing!

Then we have Mar-vell. Mar-vell is a woman this time and I was fine with that. She’s a good actress, if not enough time with her. Also the cause of Carol’s powers is the tesseract. Sure. Makes more sense.

I’ve been sounding lime a dick for a while, so I’ll quickly list off the good stuff in this film. I like the color pallet. I actually think Carol dressing in the grundge outfit is cool. I love goose. I think Talos and his family’s scenes are adorable. And I think the scene where Carol stands back up is empowering, but god I wish it was in a better film.

All in all, this film is fine. But its so on the bland side. And that leaves me in a wierd place. I want this film to do well, mainly cause I know how board executives work. “Oh a female superhero movie wasn’t profitable? Guess no more female superhero films.” And that’s not the case. We saw with Wonder Woman that you can do a female super hero movie, just get good writing and good directing. I want more females in Marvel movies. I want a damn Black Widow movie for christ sake!

But at the same time, I kinda want Marvel to take the L on this one. I want them to see that doing the bare minimum isn’t going to fly in the this oversatured market. Marvel was the best and only game in town for 10 years. But now. DC has clawed its way up, Wonder Woman was good, Aquaman was good, Shazam looks good, etc. And they all seem to want to try something new while being good. Marvel, you need to step it up. Because you’ll soon not be top dog anymore.

I feel like this film would’ve benefited from a director like Taika Waititi. Someone who knows how to take the fantastical of Marvel cosmic and  make it come to life. I also think it needs one writer. You though Justice League was bad as it feels like it was done by two different films directed by two different people, well this feel the same.

Is it bad. No. Its basically ghostbuster 2016. Its not bad, its not good. Not seeing seeing this film doesn’t make you a misogynist, seeing this this film does make you an asshole who is betraying the comics. Am I going to think less of you if you like this, god no! Am I saying its drek? No I still enjoyed the 2 hours I used up to watch this movie. So ball’s your court folks.

#captain marvel #mcu #carol danvers #nick fury #brie larson #samuel l jackson #talos #jude law #yon-rogg #wonder woman #marvel #dc #phil coulson #chris evans #robert downey jr #black widow #doctor strange #benedict cumberbatch #iron man #captain america #monica rambeau #maria rambeau #photon

[larrykins]

MYTHS, LEGENDS, LIES AND STORIES: An Attempt to a Loki-centric Fanfic

AUTHOR’S NOTES:

The last fan fiction I wrote was Absolution (for Broadchurch) which was two years ago. I haven’t returned into creative writing in years. To be honest, I’m just too tired to think sometimes and moreo ften than not, I find myself lost in my thoughts. Most of the story ideas I have remains as ideas because I am just too damn lazy to write these days. Now, confined at home for almost two weeks due to chicken pox, I I have the time to sit and write down these story ideas in my head.

This is my first attempt to write a fan fiction that is Loki-centric. I have so many feels after watching Thor; Ragnarok last November and frankly I got hooked in so many fanfictions about Loki. I am putting aside my fear of writing a fan fiction about Loki and decided to let go much like what I did when I wrote “After Life” (a Soujiro-centric fan fiction under Rurouni Kenshin). I do not know whether I’d be able to get Loki’s characterization correct but I am using his MCU incarnation and will reference a few materials from Loki: Journey Into Mystery and Loki: Agent of Asgard comic books. I do hope you enjoy this work. This is me and my imagination running wild.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Loki or any other Marvel Characters that appears in this fan fiction. All characters belong to MARVEL. All original characters that will appear in this fan fiction is min though.

gifs and pictures are not mine. Credit goes to the photographer(s) and creator(s). 

MYTHS, LEGENDS, LIES AND STORIES

Only one of you can ascend to the throne. But both of you were born to be kings.

  Loki opened his eyes. His fitful slumber was interrupted by a gentle ray of sunlight peeking through the windows. He groaned in frustration as a realization dawned on him. It was another boring day in this hel hole in Midgard. Closing his eyes as if to muster the courage to get up, Loki consoled himself with the thought that at least this time he had a room and he was not confined in some glass prison.

Midgard was on high alert after Thor and the rest of the surviving Asgardians arrived in the Grand Master’s ark. Migardians, while fond of Thor, was not overly keen on welcoming a few hundred survivors from Asgard who could potentially be as powerful as he or Thor. Heimdall and Valkyrie were surely powerful Asgardians but they are far too loyal to Thor to even think of conquering Midgard.

He was a different case however. As Loki got up, he smiled at the memory of seeing Midgard’s welcoming party for him. High-powered artillery fit to incapacitate an “alien” (as what Midgardians call those who come from space) were on stand-by. A replica of the handcuffs and muzzle he wore when he was captured in New York was immediately placed on him. Thor pleaded with the Midgardians and tried to regal them with the story of his heroic rescue of the Asgardians but apparently it was not enough to vouch for his “change of heart”. In the end, it was Midgard’s Sorcerer and master of the New York Sanctum, Doctor Stephen Vincent Strange who took the responsibility to be his keeper. 

Which brings us to Loki’s present situation. As he got up from his bed in his appointed room in 177A Bleecker Street, Loki opened the curtains of his window to allow the soft morning light to enter the room. He raised his hands and observed his wrists as a thin band of light briefly shined before it disappeared. 

As Doctor Strange took over the responsibility of watching him (since according to the sorcerer, he was among the top 10 of his most dangerous beings watch list), Doctor Strange installed a power dampening spell which limits his powers to mere party tricks. It was only Doctor Strange who can adjust or remove the spell on him. 

The god of mischief and lies has been reduced to an almost mortal existence. His adopted older brother on the other hand, the god of thunder and king of Asgard was busy rebuilding Asgard on the place where they had last seen Odin (and encountered their older sister Hela). Norway and the European Union was kind enough to allow the Asgardians refuge on that place.

I am the better diplomat. Came the bitter thought as he slammed his fist against the window. Thankfully it did not break (because he will never hear the end of it from the second rate sorcerer) and the same time, it was a bitter reminder of how weak he has become.

 But both of you were born to be kings.

 Odin’s words from a distant memory. Loki smiled and his reflection on the window smiled back at him. Yes, he and Thor were born as heirs to the throne but one of them was the unwanted heir. He was neither welcomed in Jotunheim and Hel would freeze before Asgard sees a frost giant ascend its golden throne. 

Odin’s words were neither truth nor lies; they were not empty promises too.

He was king of nothing. His entire existence was built on a lie.

”WOOONNGG!!!” The loud shrieking outside his room was enough to cut any more thoughs from Loki’s morning musings. Pushing himself away from the window, Loki decided to prepare and join the rest of the occupants of the Sanctum for breakfast.

 ----OoO----

 “I swear you are trying to kill me.” Zelma Stanton said as Wong served a cup of tea to the energetic librarian and apprentice of Doctor Strange. She was about to make another remark but she was rendered speechless as Loki waltzed inside the open-spaced breakfast area. Doctor Strange and Wong eyed him warily and followed his every motion. It was a daily dance routine that he has gotten accustomed to since becoming a “guest” in the New York sanctum. 

Loki took the seat opposite Zelma. Carefully placing the napkin on his lap, Loki chose to have the freshly baked bagel and cream cheese for breakfast. As he was spreading the cream cheese on his bagel, Doctor Strange spoke. “Your brother sends word that he will come and visit you this week. Seems like the Asgardians are settling well in Norway.”

“Visit? He is more likely to check if I am up to something here.” Loki responded.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Strange agrees. “So be good won’t you.” Loki rolled his eyes in response to Strange.

“Tea?” Wong offered.

“Early Gray with milk.”

“How come you ask him and he gets to choose his tea?” Zelma complained. “And here you give me another tentacle tea with lemon squeeze. Talk about bias Wong.”

Wong was about to respond to Zelma when a portal opened in the breakfast room. A young woman with dark brown hair messily tied in a pony tail appeared from the portal. Wisps of hair beautifully framed her face as her amber eyes seem to sparkle in amusement.

“Looks like I am in time for breakfast.” She cheerfully announced as the portal closed behind her.

“And the prodigal apprentice returns.” Wong teased. Setting down the teapot, Wong opened his arms as the young woman ran towards him and embraced him.

“I am not a prodigal apprentice. Doctor Strange ‘loaned’ me to Thor to teach Asgardian scholars about Midgard.” The woman responded as she glared at Strange. Strange just smiled at her.

“Good to have you back though.” Zelma declares as she stood from her chair to give the young woman a welcome hug. As soon as Zelma released the young woman from her embrace, she turned to Loki.

“Good Morning Prince Loki. Your brother says he misses you and that he looks forward to visit you this week.”

“Doctor Strange have relayed that message to me already.” Loki retorts gently. “And welcome back Lady Brielle.” Loki offers.

“Please, Brielle is just fine. I’ve had enough of the ‘lady’ title to last me a lifetime! Asgardians and their Victorian sensibilities.” She counters as she takes the seat beside Loki.

The breakfast table was then filled with lively chatter and friendly banter. Loki mused as he carefully observes Brielle how her presence easily changed the atmosphere of the room and the dynamics of its occupants. In the months he had spent in the sanctum, he had several interactions with Doctor Strange’s valet and guardian, Wong, his librarian and apprentice Zelma and his other apprentice Brielle Aine McKenzie.

Strange as his sworn keeper has always been guarded around him despite disguising it under intellectual conversations. Wong have always regarded him with careful measure of caution while Zelma occasionally converses with him but he realized that his mere presence unnerves the woman. Brielle was Zelma’s complete opposite however. While he knows that he intimidates her, the woman has never took a step back whenever they discuss and debate. She possesses the cool and calm intellectual facade of Strange but underneath it all is a fiery and fierce creature prepared to tackle any obstacle before her.

“Brielle Aine. Your name suits you perfectly.” Loki commented as he smiled. They were in the middle of a heated argument about the true meaning of freedom when Brielle lost her temper and pushed him in the mirror dimension.

“Your compliments won’t save you from this argument Loki, Prince of Asgard.” She chides. She was in her battle stance.

“God’s bravest and brilliant woman. Whoever gave you that name must have seen into your future.” He quips. He raises his arm as if surrendering already.

“My name has nothing to do with what we were discussing. Freedom is not something you derive from fear and subjugation. Freedom is the choice to follow what you believe in.”

“And from that argument darling, I do have the freedom to conquer Midgard since I believe that to be its benevolent leader would mean to give freedom to Midgardians.” Loki argued.

“Where is freedom if we fear you and fear for our very life. That is not freedom, that is a prison.”

“And so you are prepared to fight me to prove your point then?” He inquires. “Punching me in the face to make me agree with you is not freedom at all.”

“No it won’t.” Brielle answers confidently. “But it will give me one hell of a satisfaction that I punched the would-be conqueror of New York in the face.”

‘A warrior indeed’ Loki muses as he listened to Brielle’s story about her ‘classes’ with the Asgardian scholars. ‘And brilliant as the sun, it warms and burns at the same time’.

 ----OoO----

 Loki was not really allowed to leave the Sanctum. Not that he blames Strange for that. New Yorkers were still recovering from the trauma his failed invasion has caused and he knew that walking around New York would provoke people to attack him just for vengeance. Loki values his life and his keen sense of self-preservation has always kept him out of sticky situations. The last thing he would want was to die in Midgard from an attack by the Midgardians because he is ‘almost’ mortal.

And so, he has found a quiet reprieve in the sanctum’s library. Zelma was quiet enough to allow him to read in peace. He was in no mood to spar today despite the fact the Wong generously offered to spar with him. Loki preferred the quiet of the library especially now that too many unwanted thoughts have plagued him since he woke up.

 Your mother calls me.

I love you my sons.

 A moment of sentiment creeped into Loki’s being as he heard and remembered Odin’s last words to him and Thor. Did the mighty king of Asgard truly loved him as a son? Was it sentiment that moved Odin to bring Laufey’s unwanted child to Asgard?

 “What am I?” Loki asks.

“You are my son.” Odin answers.

 He never really was his son. The thing about Odin is that his words were never plain. He’d lead you to thinking that he was speaking of a fact but underneath that lies more meaning and more messages. Odin’s words were like a cipher, you have to decode it in order to truly understand it. Odin was never a man of simplicity when it comes to his words. He was a wordsmith.

 A silver tongue just like him.

The truth about mortality is that it leads you to questions everything about yourself. So many things to do with so little time. So many dreams to plan but none really turn out as you envision it. Loki, being almost mortal, have come to a moment in his long existence that causing mischief had become tiresome and evaluating what he knows about himself has become more excruciating. The god of mischief and lies’ life has been founded on an intricately woven lie. It would have been better if he was abandoned in Jotunheim or have died in the void.

 The   Void. Another moment in his life that blurred everything he knew about himself. The Void and The Other made him question what is real and what is not. It tormented him in so many ways that made him fear beyond logic. And his failure to conquer Midgard had already sealed his fate. It was only a matter of time. Not even the sanctum can protect him from his fate. This, everything that he experiences now, were just a momentary reprieve. The inevitable would be coming.

 And he chooses to use this momentary reprieve to ponder on his existence. 

I have grown soft. He thinks.

 “Just in case you haven’t noticed, you haven’t really turned a page in that book you are reading. I wonder if you even understood that page or you were merely projecting an image that you are reading.”

 Loki looked up and saw Brielle leaning against the library’s doors. Her sling bag was around her and she was holding her coat. Loki cleared his throat as he closed the book, doing his best to regain his composure. Brielle laughed softly at him.

“Are you heading out?” He inquired. “You just got back from Norway.”

“I have to get a few things from my office in the university.” She responded. “Would you like to come?”

It took Loki five seconds to register and comprehend what he had just heard. He had a surprised look on his face while she looked at him determinedly.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said, do you want to come?” She repeated. Her eyes locked on his piercing green eyes that were full of questions.

“Strange won’t...”

“I already asked permission from Doctor Strange. He is confident that you will be under control since he has cast a limiting spell on you. I may not be as strong as the sanctum’s master but I am also confident in my own abilities that I can take-on a de-poweered demigod.” She explained. Loki looked at her incredulously. She smiled at him warmly. “Since you still have a little magic in you, you think you can cast a glamour or disguise? I wouldn’t want the Prince of Asgard to be mobbed by angry New Yorkers.”

 ----OoO----

 It was his first time out of the sanctum since he arrived six months ago. He was seeing New York from a different perspective. He saw it before atop Stark’s Tower but seeing the city from the ground was a far more different experience. He walked closely behind Brielle. The last thing he needed was to get lost since he doesn’t have enough magic to transport him back to the sanctum.

New York is indeed a concrete jungle, Loki concluded.

“Jeez, you could have chosen a more subtle disguise?” Brielle admonishes.

“I believe I have chosen the perfect disguise. Polished, sophisticated and commanding. It is very appropriate for this city.” Loki retorts proudly as he examined his reflection from the cart of the train they had ridden.

(In case you are wondering, this what I had in mind when I imagined Loki’s disguise.)

“And I look like your trashy personal assistant. Feels like I am walking with that famous British actor that every female student I have is going nuts over with.” She rants as her companion offered her a smug smile. Loki examined their reflections and he could not help but agree to her analogy. She was after all wearing a baggy coat, faded jeans and worn-out chucks. Her scarf was hastily wrapped around her neck. Whereas he, he wore a three-piece suit and a trench coat to compliment his polished look. He changed his hair color from black to blonde and wore a pair of eye glasses that made his green eyes look like deep blue instead.

“Thank you for your compliment.” He teased and she rolled her eyes.

“A little cliche with the eyeglasses for a disguise though.” She smirked at him but Loki was lost as to how the eyeglasses made his disguise a cliche.

“I believe my dear Lady Brielle, you are just jealous of how I look.”

A few minutes later, they emerged from the subway to an expansive university grounds. Loki took on the scenery while keeping Brielle in sight. She knew the place like it was the back of her hand and he followed her around. They entered one of the buildings that Brielle called a hall. Taking several flights of stairs, they stopped by the third door on the third floor’s corridor. She opened the door and they were greeted by a cheerful middle-aged woman sitting by the reception desk.

“Doctor McKenzie! Welcome back. I hope you had good trip.” She greeted.

“It wasn’t vacation Betsy. It was work. Thank you though.” She responded as she removed her scarf and coat. The woman called Betsy carefully studied Loki then. He nodded at her as his way of greeting and acknowledging her.

“Quite a handsome fellow you have here. Are you sure you didn’t go for a vacation?” Betsy quips as she raises a brow to her.

“Oh he is an Asgardian envoy who flew back with me. Part of the culture and history exchange program we have agreed with Neo-Asgard.” Brielle explained without looking at Betsy. She quickly rummaged her desk for various documents and stacks of papers.

“Is he now? I hope Doctor McKenzie is not giving you a hard time?”

“Doctor McKenzie is an excellent guide.” Loki answers. “I have learned much about Midgard, I mean Earth’s history and culture from her.”

“As long as she isn’t grading your paper son. You don’t know how many students have come to me begging to have an appointment with her.” Betsy recalls.

“In my defense, their papers were poorly conceptualized and poorly written.” Brielle said from behind the desk. “Found it! I knew I left it here.” She triumphantly raised two worn out books and was grinning like a child.

“And here I thought you were here to get the papers your students have submitted for their final paper.” Betsy shook her head in disapproval.

“Oh I am getting those too. Time to raise some merry hell on them.”

After shoving her worn out books and a stack of papers in her sling bag, Loki and Brielle left Betsy and began their trek back to the subway. Brielle asked if he wanted to look around for a bit which Loki agreed to. She pointed various halls that house the university’s colleges and schools. She showed him one of the university’s libraries (which he found impressive) and brought him to a park that students would usually use a hang-out place. Brielle then took him to a small cafe within the campus. Since she has been a regular customer, the cafe attendant was quick to give them a quiet yet cozy spot by the windows.

“Thank you.” Loki said as they were waiting for their orders to be served.

“You are welcome. I hope you are enjoying your field trip.”

“For once its nice to be out and about.” He reveals.

“You look like you needed fresh air anyways.” She counters. “You were so deep in thought earlier I wasn’t so sure whether you were musing about something or just plain depressed.”

Loki smiles sardonically. “No time to be depressed. No time to mourn.”

“Says the god of mischief and lies. For once you do not sound convincing.” Brielle informs him. Loki was not surprised because he didn’t believe himself either.

“Tell me Doctor McKenzie, what makes history fascinating to you? For all we know, history is just a big lie.” He challenges.

“As an old saying goes, history is written down by the victors;” she begins “however, it doesn’t mean that those on the other side of history have no story to tell. Every experience, every account is a truth that is truer to the person who experienced it.” She looks outside the window, her eyes were thoughtful and warm. “You learn history not to become a bitter person. You learn history because you want to understand how things were before, how they came to be and how they can be better. Learning history changes you because you value more what you have right now and work hard to be better than the ones who have come before you.”

“It could be lies. Evidences can be falsified and accounts can be twisted to serve a specific intent and purpose.” Loki asserts.

“Could be. Could not. It is always a search for understanding and truth. Every story fabricated or not is tied to another story. There is always a bigger picture.” Brielle answers. The waiter finally came and served their meal. There was a brief interlude in their discussion and Loki welcomed it.

 Every story fabricated or not is tied to another picture. There is always a bigger picture.

 ‘So what is my history then? What is the bigger picture?’ He asks himself.

 ----OoO----

 ‘So why did he lie?” Loki asks. He was in Odin’s bedside as the king had fallen to another Odinsleep.

“He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different.” Frigga answered. “You are our son Loki and we are your family.”

 Sleep eluded Loki that evening. What was the bigger story of his life then? He kept asking himself and yet he seems nowhere near the answers he seeks. The more he looks back, the more he realizes that there was nothing about himself that was true.

 “Am I not real and true my son?”

 Loki snaps out of his reverie. It was surely his tired senses playing on him but he thought he heard Frigga. Frigga, his adoptive mother who treated him like he was a child that came out of her own flesh and blood. Frigga who stood by him but never condoned his wrong doings. Frigga who probably was the only one whom he can truly acknowledge as someone who cared for him.

 Always so perceptive of everyone but yourself.

 What is the point of looking inside when people around you are busy pointing out who you are in the first place? Loki was a prince, a god, an heir, a silvertongue, a son, a brother, a deceiver, a usurper, a traitor, a villain. He was all of that and none of that at the same time. He was no one, and his only birth right was death.

 His birth right would be fulfilled very soon.

 Can a person be someone and no one at the same time?

 His self-reflection was interrupted by a knock on his door. Getting up from his bed, Loki openned his door and was surprised to see Brielle with her hair disheveled standing in front of him.

 “Sorry to disturb you but I really have to ask you something. I’ve been meaning to ask this to you before but I got shipped away to Norway.” She says while catching her breath.

“Did you run from your room to here? Whatever it is you will ask, it must be of grave importance.” Loki concludes.

“Not really but I have to ask you this before it slips my mind again. Is it true that you are the father of Hela and Jormundgrd? And did you really give birth to an eight-legged horse named Sleipnir?” She asked.

“What?” was all Loki could say because of the absurdity of the question. If only he could resurrect Volstagg and Frandal and kill them again with his own hands.

“I said...”

“I know what you said” Loki interrupts. “But I fail to see how important those were that you had to run here looking disheveled.” He points out. “The answer is no. It was a rumor that Volstagg and Frandal started spreading after Sigyn turned down my proposal.”

“Since you had your heart broken, you turned yourself to a horse and had sex with another horse? What a strange rebound practice.” Brielle joked and she was doing her best not to laugh out loud.

“And Hela is apparently Odin’s oldest born. The rightful heir to Asgard’s throne. Since she became megalomaniac, Odin had to cast her out somewhere.” He leaned on his door frame and began massaging the bridge of his nose. “Since Hela draws her power from Asgard, Thor and I decided to destroy Asgard. I went to Odin’s vault, took Surtur’s crown and placed it in the eternal flame therefor summoning Surtur in Asgard that led to its destruction and fulfilling the prophecy about Ragnarok. It’s the reason why we ended up here in Midgard.” He explained.

“I know about the last part but the one about Hela...well...” Brielle cleared her throat. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Just in case you are wondering, I was never married and am still unmarried. I know your Midgardian myth says I was married to Sigyn and we had sons named Vali and Narvi. Fact, we were never married. She turned me down. Your myth also states that I was chained to a rock while snake drips his poisonous venom on my face and Sigyn collects the venom in a bowl. That never happened as well. Thor and I were both punished by Odin because we played a prank on an Alfaheim princess who was supposed to be Thor’s fiance.” Loki explained.

“So King Thor is a mischievous little child too. Something I can use to tease him when I see him again.” Brielle excitedly announced and Loki just sighed.

“I told you, history is a lie. Look at how they twisted our stories.” He proclaimed.

“First and foremost, Asgard shut us out after the Jotuns attacked us during the ancient times. Second, myths and legends came into existence to explain things that does not make sense to us. They were created as a source of learning and to teach morality.” Brielle then let out a laugh. “Too bad but it seems like you are the Norse Mythology’s Hades, painted as perpetually evil but for all intents and reasons, a perfectly misunderstood being.” Loki refused to comment further on what Brielle said. Brielle smiled as she walked away from Loki’s door. She bid him goodnight and proceeded to return to her room.

Loki closed the door and leaned on it for a couple of seconds. He was catching his breath. His mind was raising and his carefully structured thinking was destroyed in mere seconds.

...painted as perpetually evil but for all intents and reasons, a perfectly misunderstood being.

He closed his eyes willing every fiber of his being from clinging into something he had no right to ever have.

----OoO----

#canon divergence #loki (marvel) #loki fanfic #Loki Laufeyson