#and hope tumblr doesn't screw it up again

[flynnriderishot]

What about reader being an influencer who's expressed her interest in matt as a joke with her friends in a video and it circulates everywhere AND THEN! Nick or matt or chris sees it and likes it and then they meet at a party or smthng and reader tries her best to absolutely ignore them but it doesn't work ! Something a bit humorous LOVE U SO MUCH RAH

cute - m.s

a/n: i am 100000% so so so sorry. i didn’t realize i wasn’t following your request fully until i came to post on tumblr 🤦🏾‍♀️ i did the first part of your request the way you asked but when i got halfway, i kind of went completely off whatever came to mind. again, i’m so sorry 😭 i can rewrite it if you don’t like it…. i hope you enjoy it tho

not proofread :(

“how do you stay so positive?” y/f/n read off her phone screen, pulling your attention away from your own device.

“um…delusion.” you smiled at the camera, earning a snorting laughter from the girl behind the camera.

you could see her eyes water at the response. your face fell, though a small twitch of your lip let the viewers know you were about to joke with her,

“it is not that funny. relax, girl.”

she rubbed her eyes, her laughter slowly fading away, yet the smile was prominent on her face, “come on.”

“next question.”

“okay, this a good one. who’s your celebrity crush?”

you took a second to think about it before answering, “he isn’t really a celebrity, but if i were to go ‘famous’, i guess…i would probably say matt sturniolo. he’s really cute, but if we’re talking like, actors and shit, then dylan obrien is the way to go.”

your answer was so vague that you didn’t think it would cause too much of a big impact, but as you glanced behind the camera at your friend, you couldn’t help but take note of the wide eyed look she sent in your direction.

“what?”

she shrugged her shoulders, “nothing. moving on.”

•••

“…then dylan obrien is the way to go.”

chris snorted at the video, his thumb moving him to the comments before he could even think about it.

his eyes narrowed as he read them.

sturniolosqueen bae knows matt?? we’re screwed 😭

| lovelysturn she knows vinnie too 😭💀

| secretlysturniolo yn is not worried about any of y’all, i promise 😭

ynsbabygurl imagine they saw this

floweryln YN, LOVER. THE STURNIOLO FANDOM IS HERE!! TAKE THIS DOWN ‼️‼️

notasturn dammit.

luckilyyn matt being her crush is the highlight on my year

| sturnonfire that’s concerning….

sturnioloscolby “delusion.” IM PEEING 😭

ynsgoddess YN KNOWS THE TRIPLETS ⁉️

| nickssturn NICK WATCHES HER VIDEOS TOO

chris has heard of the girl before, but never really watched her videos since her content wasn’t really directed towards guys like him. but he knew for a fact that he’s heard yn’s voice coming from his older brothers room.

“hey, nick?!”

“what.” the eldest triplet deadpanned, walking into the living room where his brother sat.

“you know her?”

nick didn’t give it much thought as he looked at chris’ screen as he passed, “yeah, that’s yn. she’s a youtuber, why?”

“she likes matt.”

“who likes me?” the man himself walked into the room.

“yn ln.”

nick’s eyes widen, a sudden peak of interest flooding his veins, “oh my god. really?”

“is that not what i just said?”

“i heard what you said, i just didn’t understand it at first.”

“that makes no sense, nick.” chris scoffed, absentmindedly handing his phone off to matt as he and nick started an argument.

“it makes perfect sense.”

matt drowned out the conversation happening between the two, watching the video over for the third time before speaking, “she’s pretty.”

nick glanced at him, “right? what i would do to have her skin.”

matt raised his brow in agreement. you didn’t have nice skin.

“i sent her some lip balm, i’m wondering if she’s got it yet.”

“what does your lip balm have to do with her looks?” chris tried to rile his brother up again.

“stop talking to me.”

matt rolled his eyes, shaking his head softly as he went to his tiktok, just then noticing the amount of posts he was tagged in that mentioned you as well.

your video hadn’t even been out for a full day yet and there were already edits of you two.

one in particular got his attention with song, MMM HMM by Lancey Foux and the ‘boaf’ audio in the beginning of it.

without much thinking, he double tapped the edit, doing some more scrolling through the app before he eventually got bored and went to play a game in his bedroom.

what he wasn’t aware of was the uproar one like would cause between two fandoms.

•••

you sat at your desk, ipad in hand with your phone propped up against a bottle as you were on instagram live.

you were talking to your viewers whilst scrolling through videos they tagged you in. your eyes were bright with happiness at the edit of you to Tipsy by Miss Luxury.

“you guys are too sweet.” you liked the video, moving your eyes back to your phone screen to see an interesting chunk of comments come in almost all at once. “i can’t read all the comments guys, slow down.”

| go to the slaybaeyn acc! they make hella edits of you bae

| yn x sturniolo triplets when???

| LIKE MY EDIT PLEASE

| YN MATT SAW YOUR VIDEO

| hearing you like dylan obrien makes me feel like my soul is connected to you

“i’m not connected to anyone’s soul. don’t wish that on me.” your eyes widen, unsure whether or not the person was joking. one thing you didn’t play around with was spirits and voodoo stuff.

| lmaooo 😭😭

| PLEASE 💀

of course, anyone new to your fandom would have thought you were being rude, but your followers have gotten used to your humor over the years.

the ones having the chance to meet you in person have confirmed that you were just a naturally awkward and dry humored person.

it’s why people loved you so much.

“oh my god, i almost forgot. guys, guess what?”

without even looking at the comments, your eyes moved around your desk in search for something in particular.

“SpaceCamp sent me stuff!” the excitement in your voice had your viewers gushing.

while you made a lot of jokes and did very well when it came to getting other people laughing, it was hard for your supporters to find clips of you showing you were having a good time doing something. a lot of the time, your features were very sarcastic and ‘dry’ so this moment was almost revolutionary.

| her smile 😭🫶

| yn’s yearly happy clip ‼️

| she’s too cute, i can’t.

| SPACECAMP⁉️ AS IN THE STURNIOLO TRIPLETS ⁉️ AS IN NICK ⁉️AS IN MATT ‼️⁉️

| why are y’all acting like she’s unhappy all the time? the girl just has a dry sense of humor and a resting bitch face 🌝

| YN DID YOU SEE THAT CHRIS SAW THE CLIP OF YOU SAYING YOU LIKED MATT???!‼️‼️

“chris saw me saying i have a crush on his brother?” you placed the box of lip balm in your lap, your face falling slightly. “why the fuck didn’t you guys tell me this sooner?”

| y’all done made her mad 🙄

| HE LIKED AN EDIT OF YOU GUYS TOGETHER

| we’ve been tagging you bae 😫🤷‍♀️

you squinted your eyes, looking side to side before sighing softly, “don’t play with me.”

nicolassturniolo has joined the live!

“even when i trust you guys, i can’t trust you guys. i didn’t get tagged in shit.”

| NICKS HERE

| NICKKKK

| HI, NICK

nicolassturniolo you got the package!! i hope you enjoy it

“hi, nicolas.” you vaguely greeted, pretending you weren’t internally freaking out over his presence. “i haven’t tried them yet but i love the packaging. thank you so much for sending it.”

nicolassturniolo so glad you like it 🤭

nicolassturniolo add me

it took a few seconds for the live to connect but nick was now in your live, his face showcasing his happiness.

“NICKKK.”

“YN”

matthew.sturniolo has joined the live!

| HIIIIIMATTT

| MATTYYY

even if you wanted to pretend you didn’t see the comments, the shyness that suddenly took over you let the people know that you were aware of matt joining the live.

matthew.sturniolo the edit by sturnioloxyn on tiktok goes crazy

“matt, shut up.” nick said, residing his brothers comment before directing his attention to you, “so, what’s this i hear about you having a crush on my brother?”

your face pulled into a wince, “oooh. let’s not talk about that.”

“no let’s talk about it.” nick laughed, adjusting his body so he was laying stomach flat on his end.

“oh my god.”

matthew.sturniolo i think you’re cute too by the way 😉

taglist:

@hearts4chris @timmyandsturniolo @mayhem-72 @luvsturns

#sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo

[velvetcloxds]

Sitting on charlie swan's lap trying to get his attention/distracting him or just talking about yor day.

PATIENCE | C.S.

word count: 0.6k

warnings: age gap, talk about getting married, quickly proofread, hoping tumblr doesn't screw up my ending again

"I want to marry you," you hummed from Charlie's lap, fingers digging through his beard as you cupped his face lightly in your hands. If the man hadn't been caught by surprise by you settling right on his lap without a single word, that little statement certainly did it. He lost all interest in the game he'd been watching, abandoning his beer on the table next to him, hand instead moving to your back to support you.

"You do now?" his tone was curious giving away just how intrigued you had him with such a simple sentence, bringing it up just as easily as you'd remind him to stop for milk before coming home from the station.

"I do," you nodded and sighed, in thought as if you were picturing it, tuning out the details, and then you smiled, holding onto him a little tighter and he didn't mind, simply adoring the sight of you dreaming wide awake. "Nothing fancy, just us two and Bella, maybe Edward, definitely Billy and Jacob," you were moving, shifting so you were almost straddling him, truly the only comfortable one but he was willing to wait it out. "We can go down to city hall and I can wear a pretty white dress with big poofy sleeves and we can go to the diner afterward to have pie instead of cake, we could have our first dance as husband and wife right in this living room."

"You don't think you deserve more than that?" his hand was brushing up and down your back, soothing you, telling you that you had all of his attention, telling you to keep going.

"More than you?" you shook your head, unimpressed by the foolishness of the question, how could he think a future with him wasn't more than you'd ever deserved to begin with, let alone that you'd need more. "Got any ideas for our song?" you quipped and he shrugged, fighting a smile when you moved your hands to his head, threading through his hair as you gave your own question some thought.

"Something from the sixties," he beat you to it and the smile that dipped into your lips proved that he was on the right track. "Though I don't think it matters, I'll step on your toes no matter what," you giggled, he was very right but you didn't think you'd mind if he did.

"We'd be barefoot," you informed him, happy to edit your little dream to make it perfect. "So it wouldn't hurt as much," you added and he smiled, he didn't dare hide it, happy to see you happy, knowing that after the week you'd had, seeing you like this meant the stress was fading.

"Sweetheart," he almost purred and the softness of his voice made you shiver, leaning into him, elbows on his shoulders as you nodded to make him continue. "Is this a proposal?" he pressed and you bit your lip, considering it, and that was where your perfect plan reached a plot hole, you never decided on that part.

"Maybe," you shrugged and then shook your head. "No, it's not," you decided and you weren't all that happy to hear a car pull up in the driveway, Bella coming home from a night out with Edward. "Don't think we're ready yet, but I know we'll be ready one day," you explained and it was ridiculous, the way you wanted to melt into his arms even more, feeling silly for how sure you sounded of yourself but it made him fall in love with you even more, as simple as it was, as silly as it was, as clear as you could see your little wedding day, the future he saw with you was just as clear, now more than ever.

"And what if I'm ready now?" you bit your lip, wishing there was a way to make time stop for just a few more minutes so you could appreciate this moment with him as you tried to figure out what exactly you'd done to get so very lucky.

"Then you'll just have to be patient, Chief Swan," the kiss you gave him wasn't at all long enough for his liking and he wasn't at all impressed when the front door swung open and robbed him of you, your hand lingering in his hair for barely a second before you were skipping to the kitchen. "Hi, Bells," you sang as the teenager came into the house, met by the sight of you holding a plate full of brownies you'd baked earlier, something sweet that you needed after a long week and you were sure she needed them too. "You hungry?" you were already pulling out a little plate from the cupboard so there wasn't really a choice in the matter as she nodded.

Bella squeezed her father's shoulder as she passed him on her way to you, earning a mumbled greeting as he tried to focus on the game he was so entirely captivated by just a few minutes before but it was harder than he thought it would be. You jumped onto the counter listening to every word of Bella explaining her date in a whisper while nibbling at the chocolate treat but you were more than ready to lock eyes with Charlie as he turned around to meet your gaze.

"Marry me," he mouthed with a lovesick look, one you'd only gotten the chance to see on very rare occasions and you had to bite back a giggle as you shook your head with a slight shrug and a daring smile.

"Soon," you mouthed in reply and when he turned back to the television with a soft sigh his attention was further from football than ever before because if this was what his future would look like then he wasn't sure just how patient he could be.

#charlie swan #charlie swan x reader #charlie swan x you #charlie swan x yn #charlie swan fluff #charlie swan imagine #charlie swan blurb #charlie swan one shot #charlie swan drabble #charlie swan fanfiction #charlie swan fanfic #charlie swan fic #monique's writing events #right where queue left me

[lilith-sims]

i found the password to my simblr but it's all screwed up :(

hi!!

i haven't posted in two and a half years and i had forgotten the email and password to my account but i suddenly missed ts2 so much! the problem is my tumblr doesn't let me see either normal inbox messages or chat messages, which sucks.

i don't have the game installed anymore as my computer had to be formatted a while ago and it'll be a huge pain in the butt to set up everything again. i do want to do it at some point though.

it's so cool to see in my dashboard that there are still many, many active sims 2 creators and even some familiar faces!

i hope you guys are all well and i hope to start playing and creating again soonish <3

#the sims 2 #ts2 #sims 2 #long time no see #ts2 community is still so active #it makes me happy

[eyrina-avatar]

Kinktober

Gas, Cash, or Ass

prompts: #27 anal

pairing: adult neteyam x fem!reader

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, nsfw, smut, possessive/dom neteyam, anal. proofread once

this was accidentally posted like a month before because tumblr decided to change the scheduling date and posted it without me knowing and I had to run to delete it. So if you saw it the first round, no you didn't🫠

"Hi Nete!" you waved as the tall Na'vi came to a halt on his direhorse.

"Hey! What's up? " Neteyam watched as you struggled with the jug and basket in your hands.

"Not much... Just on the way to fill this water jug for Mo'at and then I have to catch some fish for the festival later."

He chuckled, "I don't think you'll be able to carry both at the same time."

"Well, it would have been better if I found a pa'li like you did... but I was in a rush and haven't really perfected my mounting skills yet."

"I suppose you need a small favor then?" He smirked as you nodded.

Neteyam saddled the items in place and helped you up the pa'li.

"Thanks," you looked down as your cheeks blushed a light purple.

"No problem," He gave his pa'li a tap before making way to the river.

~~~~~

"Alright, I hope you enjoyed your ride." Neteyam stopped his pa'li by the riverside and handed you the basket and jug after you got yourself down.

"Thanks... I really appreciate it!" You smiled as you got ready to collect some water. Placing the basket on the floor you turned around only to find Neteyam in front of the river, blocking you.

"Pay up," was all he stated as he looked down on you from his seat.

"What?" You cocked your head in confusion, not sure if you heard him right.

"You heard me. Pay up. Gas, cash, or ass." Neteyam crossed his arms, causing you to stare at him dumbfounded.

"The fuck do you mean gas, cash, or ass?" You furrowed your eyebrows together. "Neteyam your pa'li doesn't even use gas! And you don't even know what cash is. How could you possibly know what that phrase means?"

"It's just like that little sticker thing on the sky people's helicopters. Almost all the guys have it."

"And what, you're a sky person now?" You rolled your eyes at him.

"No, but it seems like a good system so I adopted it."

"Yea whatever, you're not getting any." You tried walking away but Neteyam parked his pa'li in front of you again.

"Nu-uh, you heard me. Gas, cash or ass."

"Are you for real? Am I supposed to get food out of no where and feed your pa'li when it can get food itself?" You put the jug down to cross your arms.

"Well then, cash or ass." He responded nonchalantly.

"But I don't have any cash on me!" You exclaimed in frustration. "Plus, what could you possibly need cash for, huh? There's not much use for it here on pandora. The most you could get is some pricey soft toilet paper at the avatar facility, a lolipop for Tuk, or a cigarette that the military guys are always smoking?" You crossed your arms.

"Well I don't need cash for a cigarette when I could just get one from Grace's drawers. From what I saw, she was always puffing like there's no tomorrow." Neteyam shrugged.

"Na'vi's don't smoke. Plus, Kiri wouldn't let you anywhere near Grace's things in the first place."

"You're right, I don't smoke and there's no use for cash here. So... ass." Neteyam gave you a small smirk. "That or I won't be giving you any more free rides."

"Says the one who's asking to be ridden" you murmur in a low voice.

"What was that?" he cocked his head in question.

"Nothing, nothing." You clarify.

"Well, you heard me. Plus, who's going to help you back to home tree after you finish your fishing. Are you just gonna go on that hour long walk carrying that heavy basket and jug?"

"No..." you let out in a small whisper.

"Then you're gonna have to pay up. That or a long burdensome walk."

"But that's not fair! Na'vi's are supposed to help each other out. Do you expect this form of payment every time I ask you to take me somewhere?!" you let out.

"Umm, yes." Neteyam grinned, knowing you had no choice.

"Screw you! You know what?! Next time I'll just ask Tsrüyem to help me out with my hunt! He's kind and strong, and he certainly won't be asking for any of those favors of yours in return." You huffed away, smirking as you got a glimpse of neteyam's slick smile wiped off his face at the mention of Tsrüyem.

"Wait, wait." He hopped off his pa'li and grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

"How about just this one time, and I'll take you anywhere you want, whenever you want. Want to go to home tree, I'll take you. To the avatar facility, I'll take you. To the hallelujah mountains, I'll take you. It doesn't matter if it's guiding you there, giving you a free ride on my ikran or on a pa'li. Just once and I'll take you anywhere you want." He pleaded with you, eyes looking directly into yours.

You worked hard to hide the smirk that threatened to grow on your face. Perfect, just what you wanted. Neteyam begging and you making him your personal travel man, taking you anywhere you wanted, whenever you wanted.

"Hmm, I don't know... even in the middle of the night?" You questioned, scrunching your face as you pretended to debate within yourself.

"Yes, even at night! Whenever you want." Neteyam let out as his tail swished left and right excitedly.

"Even if I want to trade with the Tayrangi clan, all the way to the seaside, by the cliffs? You'll have to take me there whenever I want..." You cocked your head to one side.

"Yes, yes! I said whenever and wherever, didn't I?"

"Fine. You have yourself a deal." You made your way towards him and trailed your slim fingers over his torso, running them up and down before stopping at the hem of his loincloth and trailing them back up to his neck.

"On one condition, sweetheart..." he let out in a purr.

"Hmm, and what's that?" your warm lips hovered his ear.

"That I'm the one in charge now." And with that, he turned you over and grabbed your wrists behind you with his one hand while he used the other to push you on a nearby rock, causing you to let out a yelp.

Your face and breasts were squished against the low rock as your legs supported you. He gave you a light smack as your ass stuck up.

"Neteyam, what do you think-"

"Don't worry, I won't go all in at once. I'll let you adjust."

"And who said you could be in charge???" you barely managed out as Neteyam gave your ass a nice squeeze, making you whine.

"A deal's a deal, princess." And with that he pulled your beige shorts down, reveling your pretty plump bottom.

"Aha, so that's why you haven't switched to using a loincloth yet. Hiding that cute little butt of yours huh?" Neteyam bent down to give your ass a wet kiss, letting his tongue run sloppily all over your bottom. You couldn't help but moan as his mouth ran wild and his hand played with the hem of your underwear.

"Oh fuck..." you let out in a breathy voice.

"Enjoying that, ma'syulang? Huh? Let's see what's under these cute little panties of yours." His hands let go of your wrists, allowing you to support yourself on the rock as he ran his fingers along your panties, pulling it down while he inched his crotch near your rear. A light hiss escaped his lips as you reached behind you and began rubbing his length through his loincloth.

"Fuck..." he closed his eyes in bliss as you palmed him. You inched your ass closer to him and moved it up and down, rubbing your bottom on his hard member.

"Looks like someone's excited." You couldn't help but chuckle as you pulled his loincloth down, causing it to drop on the floor. Neteyam reached for the red plant next to him and broke it in half, causing a slippery substance to flow out of it. He applied the liquid on himself and wiped his fingers on it before applying some to your hole as well.

"Be easy okay, it's my first time doing... anal." You looked behind, watching as Neteyam almost fingered you.

"I thought you never had sex with anyone before?" He tilted his head in question.

"That too..." You looked down and he couldn't help but chuckle. You were just too cute, Neteyam couldn't decide if he wanted to break you in half or eat you up.

"Alright, I'll go slow. Let me know if it hurts." You nodded at him and he slowly entered his length inside of you.

"Nghh" you couldn't help but whimper at the odd and painful feeling of your ass being stretched out.

"Fuck" Neteyam groaned as he continued pushing himself in until he bottomed out, getting his full length inside.

He paused for a bit, "You good?"

"Mhm," was all you managed as you got used to the feeling. You squirmed a bit in place and moved your ass a little forward then backwards to signal that you were ready. Neteyam pulled out a bit before slowly pumping himself back in.

Your mouth fell open as his hips kept on moving, slightly hitting your ass as he thrust inside of you.

"I think you can go faster." You let out in a breathy voice.

"You sure?" He stopped, making sure he heard you correctly before continuing.

"Yes." That was all he needed for hips to start moving faster. Neteyam repeatedly pulled out before slamming right back inside of you. His hands held onto the rock as his thrusts grew faster and groans escaped from his lips.

"Shit. Baby, you're so tight." His face fell into the crook of your neck. The both of you were now in doggy position and the sound of the few moans that betrayed him only made your core grow in wetness.

"Ah... ah" you couldn't help but whine as Neteyam's thrusts hit you at an ungodly pace. You turned your face around and were met with his, grabbing his cheek with your hand you pulled him in for a kiss while his cock used your poor asshole.

"Fuck..." Neteyam moaned into your mouth as his hips hit your bottom, filling the air with the sound of skin smacking against each other.

"Oh my god!" you dropped your head down as Neteyam's cock hit your insides, making you weak in the knees.

"Fuck, y/n... I think I'm about to burst." He placed wet kisses all over your neck as his hips started moving frantically and sloppily, a sign that he was about to reach his high.

"Fuck... You *thrust* take *thrust* me *thrust* so *thrust* well!" His head dropped onto you the crook of your neck as you felt his cock twitch inside. Neteyam's teeth sank slightly into your shoulders, earning a light hiss from you as felt his his warm liquid ooze inside of you.

As his high washed over him, Neteyam's movements slowed down until he came to a complete halt. Out of breath, the both of you made eye contact, causing you to let out a small chuckle in unison.

"How's that for payment?" You smirked as he grinned.

"More than enough." Neteyam chuckled as he pulled out, making you groan at the lack of warmth.

"Yeah well, you actually have to pay me back." You grinned as you turned yourself over, laying yourself on your back.

"Yea?" He scoffed. "That was pretty much it, no?"

"You're done when I say so." You pushed Neteyam back, causing him to land on the mossy ground.

"Wait hold on, I still need to recover from the orga-"

Untying your top, you seated yourself on his thighs. "Then get to work limp dick."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

has anyone seen those bumper or window stickers on cars that say gas, cash, or ass? yea, I made this based off of that

as always, comments/reblogs are always much appreciated as they help support and motivate your favorite writers, thank you❤!

tags: @daeneeryss , @eyweveng , @vee1728 , @pandoraslxna

@justonesadlonelymoth @skywonder

do not steal my work and please don't post it on ao3 or wattpad

© eyrina-avatar

colors used: {29, 157, 238} and {31, 87, 255}

#LunasKinktober2023 #avatar kinktober #neteyam smut #neteyam #neteyam x reader #avatar #avatar smut #avatar the way of water #neteyam x you #neteyam sully #avatar 2 #avatar way of water #awow #neteyam fic #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam x omaticaya!reader #neteyam imagine #neteyam x female reader #avatar neteyam #neteyam x reader smut #awow imagines #na’vi smut #avatar twow #avatar imagine #neteyam fluff #neteyam sully x reader #avatarkinktober #pandorakinktober #neteyamkinktober

[slytherinshua]

idk if this counts as a soft thought but ... imagine a dk who used to be short when he was like 12 and used to be really nice to you then when you graduated from elementary school he vaguely told you he liked you and you went :0

and then fast fwd 4 years later, you're going to the same high school as him and he says hi and ure like shit. he grew taller. tanner, his voice is deeper (you'd always thought it'd already broken in elementary sch but turns out it didn't)

just 🫠🫠 childhood friends to lovers dk !!

first of all ty for sending smth in kimchi cause istg i was dying earlier like my tumblr is so DRY and ur the only person who indulged my boredom yayay!! also this is LITERALLY making my head spin like crazy cause just think abt it skjdks

warnings: fem!reader. mention of seokmin getting bullied both in elementary and middle school, and he gets taller, tanner, hotter, and has straighter teeth and a deeper voice by the time he's in high school. not proofread and written on tumblr which i never do so it might be ATROCIOUS but its soft thoughts anyway so it doesn't have to be perfect <3

wc: ~1.1k.

ofc you loved to spend time with seokmin when you were in elementary— like you two were practically inseparable. and you first met him when you saw him getting bullied by some jerks in the same year as you. ofc you told them to go away (might've punched one of them just to get your point across, but you and seokmin swore that you would never speak of that detail again). they were so scared of you after you threw the punch that it actually worked and they never bothered him again. and little seokmin was practically in awe of you since that very moment and ofc he develops a small large crush on you </3

but you two end up getting cruelly separated when seokmin tells you that because of the need to move for his parents' work, he's going to be put an all-boys middle school while you're still going to the regular mixed one that most of the kids from that same elementary were going to. during your middle school years, seokmin doesn't cross your mind a lot. it's only when you get a confession from a boy in your class that you're reminded of him and that last day of 5th grade.

you could’ve sworn you heard the words “I like you” fall from his lips except it was so quiet and murmured that you’re not quite sure if it actually happened or if your brain wanted it to so bad that you hallucinated it into existence. and since you're not positive that he did actually confess to you (or that he would still hold the same feelings he did at 10 as a 15 year old), you don't hope for anything else concerning seokmin. much to your 10 year old self's disappointment, because of course you had already imagined a whole life together with your best friend. you don't remember it having any distinction as to whether seokmin was still your best friend or if he was your boyfriend, but it didn't matter to you as long as he was still in your life.

but the first day at your new high school you realize that you’re so fucking screwed it’s not even funny. because as you’re looking at the list of students and what class their first period is you recognize a very familiar name and your brain practically goes blank.

lee seokmin.

and god damnit he has science as his first period just like you. so as you walk into the class you’re frantic to scan the room for any short boy with milky skin, crooked teeth, and a high pitched slightly squeaky voice that you absolutely adored at the age of 10. but he’s not there; well, at least, not fitting that description of him that you remember.

the boy who you quickly see waving excitedly to you is in fact the lee seokmin— you can tell from his name tag— but god had he changed. he had grown at least 20 cm from the last time you saw him because even sitting in his desk he looked lanky. not only his height had changed, but he had also gotten tanner. and he must’ve had braces at some point in middle school because his teeth looked straighter. and his voice. god his voice alone had your heart racing. you could’ve sworn it had deepened two octaves at least.

and it was hot.

the boy who you could only label as your adorable, nerdy, loser best friend who cowered behind you in the face of bullies was hot.

this turn of events rendered him almost unrecognizable. and you were sure you wouldn’t have been able to recognize him if it weren’t for his smile, which was as bright and beautiful as always, with or without the crooked teeth.

and maybe it was that smile that made you just a little relieved that he hadn't changed as much as his appearance had. so you gathered some confidence and walked over to the desk he was sitting in and slid into the seat next to him. you returned his 'hi' that he had shot you from across the room, and as soon as you did, you were practically tackled in a hug.

and it felt the same as his old hugs, which was a relief to your mind but not to your heart, which doubled its speed at least. before your class started, you somehow managed to get up to speed with all of seokmin's middle school years (you were so glad that he was still as talkative and unserious as you remember).

"you don't know how worried i was walking in 30 minutes ago. the school is so big and none of my old classmates go here— though maybe i should be thankful for that. but as soon as i saw your name on the student list, for some reason, i knew it would all be okay. you're here— you're actually here. so they can't touch me."

he said all of this with the biggest smile on his face and you were sure your eyes had actual hearts in them as you listened to him explain everything animatedly.

you and seokmin talked and talked and talked. he would walk you to your class just to keep the conversation going before the second bell rang and he had to race off to his next period on the other side of the building. but he didn't mind being late every time if it meant getting to hear you laugh for 3 minutes longer.

you were back to being best friends with seokmin, and neither of you could be happier. what was most relieving was how it all fit back into place without any struggle. as if seokmin was a puzzle piece that had been temporarily dropped on the floor and had just been picked up again and put back where he belonged (by your side).

you never got the courage to ask seokmin about that last day of 5th grade until your 3rd year of high school together when you had gotten a little tired of seeing a certain classmate of yours which you despised talk so openly about her crush on seokmin— even in front of him and you. so even though your throat got all tangled up as you brought up the topic, you forced yourself to at least ask him the question.

"did you like me when we were younger?"

and his answer came so easily and naturally that you had to double-take.

"of course i did. wasn't it obvious?"

↳ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @minholing,, @shuabby1994,, @icyminghao,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @wonwooz1,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @haecien,, @amara-mars,, @okshu,, @parkjennykim,, @wootify,, @svtoose,, @seunghancore

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[yourwildsimp]

blood stains and butterflies

includes: Soap, Ghost warnings: PTSD, panic attack, vomiting, gore length: 4,000 some words summary: Ghost isn't all too happy that Christmas showed up months early. A/N: uh... Boo. I'm alive! Anyways, new obsession time. Also, ik tumblr goes crazy with bots but where did they all swarm me from?? Enjoy though, and please give me feedback.

Ghost stumbles, nearly slipping in the pummeling rain. His gloved hand hardly catches traction on the slick side of their stupid fucking safe house that's spat up 30 miles past bum fuck nowhere.

The sky is as dark as the field that surrounds him, clouds hiding the moon away like it's something shameful.

I'm shameful, Ghost's brain spits as he gasps as quietly as he can. He can feel his throat closing up tight- too tight- tighter than anything he can handle.

Oh sure, because waterboarding and gasoline is nothing compared to stupid, god awful-

"Creepin' Jesus, L.t.-"

Ghost hardly has the wherewithal to yank his mask just over the bridge of his crooked, fucked up nose before he's spilling what little bit of lunch he ate before they were sent on this lousy mission.

"Ghost, what's goin' oan? Ye alright?"

Shut up. Shut the hell up. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

He's dry heaving so much that something is stinging somewhere deep behind his eyes.

A hand, steady yet uncertain, touches his shoulder and Ghost feels flames licking at his skin, even through the ever persistent rain storm.

"Don't fucking touch me," he seethes, baring his teeth like a rabid animal, feet clumsily scrambling further away, leaving his arms to weakly try to compensate. The last thing he needs is to bust his ass on his own throw up.

Soap jerks his hand away like he is the one being burned. The rain is so loud, but not even shelling could drown out the sound of Soap's breath catching in his throat.

"I'm fine," Ghost rasps, sounding impossibly fragile even to his own ringing ears. "Go back inside before you get yourself sick, Soap."

"Sick like ye?"

Ghost is gagging on bile before he can spit fire back. Instead, he spits up the last of his pathetic lunch.

"I said I'm fine. They're just-" Christ, he's shaking so hard he might slip again- "fucking Christmas lights. Nothing's wrong with me."

If Ghost would stop being a little bitch for a second, he'd see the way Soap's eyebrows furrow in genuine confusion with a single blink.

"This is aboot th' holiday decor?" Soap asks desperately. Ghost can hear a puddle splash as Soap inches closer.

Ghost would rather be buried alive again than admit that he is having a breakdown over some lights speckled with blood. Hell, he'd rather gulp down gasoline than speak anything ever again.

Ghost screws his eyes shut in hopes of- of what? Hiding? He's such a shameless coward.

"L.t. please. What's goin' oan? I don't understand- what's wrong with th' lights?"

The door was kicked open, windows smashed in, and they were dead long before he jerked his car in park.

He wanted- needed- them to be alive so badly, so desperately, he skimmed over the fact that more of Joseph's brains were on the wall than in his skull for fuck's sake-

He's retching again, but tears are making his vision too blurry to see what he's hurling onto the muddied clump of grass beneath his feet. Rain, actually. The rain is making his vision blurry.

"Come back inside 'fore ye hurt yerself more. Please, Ghost." There is a noticeable hesitation and Ghost hopes Soap will just go back inside and leave him in shambles.

Soap doesn't go anywhere, but Ghost crumbles anyway from what he says.

"Ye're scarin' me…"

"You're scaring me! Tommy, stop it! Please- please stop!"

Tommy sneered behind the cracked skull mask, and Simon felt his lower bunk dip with his brother's weight. The pillow under his head was snatched from him.

"Don't ever beg anyone for anything, Simon. Hasn't dad taught you that?" The sneer bled into a sickening grin. "Here, let's practice."

His pillow was shoved over his face before he could even choke out the word 'no'.

Ghost loses his footing and falls to his knees, hands weakly grasping for any leverage on the side of the safe house. There isn't any. His left knee digs into the mud as he stumbles.

Soap, the persistent, heaven-sent bastard, is by his side before Ghost slips any further.

"I don't-" Soap hovers by Ghost like a lost dog, buzzing with confusion and concern. "A'll take it doon, Lt. A'll get rid of it all."

Ghost vaguely hears Soap's footsteps trailing off, the pummeling of the rain and the rushing in his ears nearly drowning it out. But then Soap stops and the footsteps rush back his way. Ghost shudders in the rain, in his thoughts, fingers weakly dragging against the dirt as he presses his back against the side of the shelter. Soap is so quiet that Ghost can almost pretend he isn't there.

But, fuck, he is. Standing right there, thinking God knows what, and Ghost's mask is still above his scarred, vomit-laced mouth-

Ghost drags his soaked sleeve over his mouth and chin so rough he feels a strap jerk against a scar. He grits his teeth and bares it and yanks his mask back over the rest of his face.

"Give me yer knives."

Ghost startles- fucking jumps out of his skin. He thought Soap was gone. Scratch that- he hoped Soap was gone.

Ghost slaps together the meanest glare he can muster. He's pathetic like this; a mess in the mud, his own vomit washing away in the rain next to him, being waterboarded by his mask.

Soap doesn't even flinch. Hell, he reaches his hand out, expectant.

"Ye might…" Soap takes a breath, his fingers curling into his palm just a little. "I don't want to come back oot 'ere to find that ye did something stupid to yerself."

"You think-" Ghost has to take a short breath, his voice shredded and raw and so god damn fragile. "You think that I'm-"

"I don't know what t' think," Soap rushes, sounding as desperate as Ghost hates to feel. "Just promise me ye won't."

Ghost screws his eyes shut, wondering if a promise like this only counts for the moment, or if he has to keep it for the rest of his miserable life.

"Am beggin' ye, Ghost."

"Did you beg them, Tommy? Did you?" Simon heard himself say as he stared at his brother's limp body dangling in a bloody mess of Christmas lights from the rafters. Fitting it was, that he suffocated. "Or did not have the chance to?"

"Simon-"

"Don't you- Don't fucking call me that," Ghost rasps.

Soap opens his mouth, desperate as a drowned man gasping for air, but Ghost beats him to it.

"I won't, fuck. I'm not bloody insane." Although he sure as hell felt that way.

Soap's jaw tightens, teeth clenching against each other as he draws his hand back. He is still hesitant to leave Ghost alone; alone with his thoughts and feelings. And knives.

"I won't," Ghost breathes quietly, Adam's apple bobbing as he gathers what little pieces of him were left. "I wouldn't, Soap."

Soap nods, gaze lingering as he turns his body away towards the shelter. "A'll kill ye, if ye do."

Ghost chuckles, heartless and hurt and so pitifully wrapped in his head. What a perfect way to go, that would be. That's the only way he can see himself dying, being taken out by Soap. Ghost wonders how he would do it.

Soap hasn't moved.

"I promise, Johnny."

That seems to do the trick because seconds later, Soap is taking off through the rain and heading inside the house.

Ghost is, blessedly, devastatingly, alone. But he's left with his thoughts. And they begin to wander before he beats them down.

The whole fucking shelter is done up with Christmas decorations, and it makes him wonder how many layers of dust are on every light and ornament. It makes him wonder what happened to the people who strung them up.

He doesn't wonder, however, how the blood splatters got there.

It's not even near the holiday season, either, which really pisses him off because it's just his luck. He thought he'd be safe from his holiday horrors, months away from Christmas. Of course the world slams a curveball right in his face and spits on him while he's down.

He doesn't notice that his hands are gripping at the top of his mask. They would be tugging on his hair, but he's a spineless, faceless coward. No wonder everyone thought Tom was the better brother. They were fucking right to, weren't they?

Christ, they're all he can see. Tom, hanging from the rafters by the Christmas tree lights, his throat a mangled mess. Beth, a crumpled mop of blinding white ribs and heavy dark blood, her Santa hat mostly red and somewhere underneath what was left of her. His mom, stabbed in the neck, blood soaking into her newest ugly sweater she was so proud of. Joseph's head and reindeer antlers headband was blown off with a bullet, his blood and brains and matter covering the various paint splotches on the wall where Tom and Beth couldn't decide on a new color.

Joseph's toy airplane kicked to the side, forgotten white wings stained with pieces of the boy.

He wanted to be a pilot when he grew up, Joseph did. He used to make Simon hold him above his head so he could stick his little arms out real far like they were wings on a plane. Simon would carry him all around the house; pretended to be the panicked control tower, telling pilot Joseph that he couldn't use the runway- the hallway- because there were fallen trees- a broom and a mop- blocking his path. Pilot Joseph was always a quick thinker, and he would land his plane further down the way, on an empty back road- the couch. And Simon would toss his beaming nephew on the ratty old brown couch and listen to his giggles as he shouted, "Again, Uncle Simon! Again!"

God, the pure joy on the kids face whenever Simon bought him that little toy plane for Christmas one year was burning at the back of his brain. Fucks sake, all Simon could afford at the time was a little figurine. It wasn't remote controlled, no doors could open- hell, the propeller couldn't even spin. But Joseph loved it more than anything in the world.

The sound of glass shattering behind the shelter has Ghost choking on his breath.

Simon would've killed to have been deaf when he took Tom down from the rafters. Glass shattered, body thumped, glass shattered, glass shattered, glass-

Bile scorches the back of his throat as his memory supplies the imagine of blood splattered Christmas ornaments. He tumbles forwards onto his hands and knees, frantically tugging his mask above his lips again. One hand claws at the dirt, the other, supported by his elbow in the mud, holding the bottom part of his mask out of the way as he retches and dry heaves until he swears he could be spitting up blood.

Ghost curls in on himself and falls to his side, a deflated, crumpled heap of shame.

It's all his fault. It is. If he had gotten there sooner, if he had seen it all coming, if he had never gotten compromised, if he had never joined the fucking military- none of it would have happend. It's his fault, all his fault.

"My fault," he heaves, blurry eyes boring into where the dark, starless sky seamlessly bleeds into the black, rocky mud. He's drowning in the stifling nothingness.

Tom could be coming home from work, kissing Beth hello, playing 'pilot' with Joseph. But he's not. He's a rotted corpse six-feet under the dirt. That's how Simon should be. It's his fault that it didn't turn out that way. His fault, all his fault.

"I'm sorry," he breaks, shaking his head, bringing his muddy glove to his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead. The other half hides, burying into the ground, like he could dig his own grave like this.

Joseph would've been in high school by now, driving and going to meet friends. But he's not. He's stuck in a wooden box next to his parents. That's how Simon should be. It's his fault-

"Please-"

"Ghost?"

Ghost's eye snap open, body tense and frozen. He vaguely notices that he's hyperventilating. Christ alive, he's breathing so fast but he can't get any air. He can't breathe, no matter how hard he tries. He might as well be buried alive again-

"…-ost, look at me. I need ye to look at me Lt."

Ghost's blood shot eyes snap in Soap's direction- when was he sat up against the shack's wall?- and his breath hitches somewhere deep in his throat before he feels his heart pitter faster. It's trying to break out of his ribcage, slamming into his cracking bones, threatening to bleed openly into Soap's hands. Soap has such nice hands. He'd hate to soil them.

"Where are we reit now?' Soap asks, carefully crouching in front of him, both hands resting open palm facing up on his knees.

Ghost feels his eyebrows furrow at that one. Has Soap forgotten? Your location seems like an awfully important thing to know.

"Ghost, I need ye to tell me where we are," Soap insists, the tendons in his neck pulled so taunt. Ghost worries. He worries that Soap will hurt his neck, straining how he is.

"Manchester?" he murmurs so low that he can feel how his vocal cords vibrate with it. Soap's neck pulls over his Adam's apple as it bobs rough. Ghost wonders what it would take to snap the stretched tendons there. Ghost thinks he'll kill anything that dares to graze them.

"Nae. Nae, Ghost. Look around. Look around ye an' then tell me where we are."

Ghost's eyes carefully draw away from Soap's vulnerable, tense throat, and move to meet his gaze. Soap is scared, he realizes slowly, the thought dawning on him as slow as the sun rises. Ghost furrows his eyebrows, a frown tugs his lips down at the side. Hesitantly, his eyes drift to the trees surrounding him. He can hardly pick up anything distinctive through the rain, but he feels his eyes widen.

"We're at a safe house. But- but then I-"

"That's reit, Ghost. We're on a mission waitin' for exfil. Do ye remember what our mission was?" Soap speaks like a kindergarten teacher. One who wears long, gray skirts and a yellow button-up blouse, has the thinnest heels on her black shoes, and always has her hair done up in a relaxed bun. Ghost vaguely remembers hating his kindergarten classes; he could never focus. Ghost thinks he would hang on every word if Soap was his teacher. "Stay with me, Ghost," Mr. Soap snaps his fingers once or twice, the sound dancing away through the rain.

"Gather intel on the terrorists' bio-weapons… Destroy the sample. Get out with no one the wiser." Ghost holds his breath for praise, for Soap to tell him he's right. Tell him thats he's not a fuck up, not weak or stupid or not masculine enough. To tell him that maybe, he deserved everything that happened to him

"Yeah, that's right. There ye go, Ghost." Soap's lips twist into a pitiful, beautiful thin-lipped smile. "Thought I lost ye for good there, L.T."

"Never," Ghost rasps before he can shut his big fat mouth.

Soaps lips quirk up more at that, and Ghost has half the mind to get on his knees and ask for repentance. Acceptance, even.

"Are ye alright to come inside?" Soap asks carefully, words treading carefully like Ghost was a minefield.

Sometimes he feels that way, if he were ever honest with himself. He feels like a wired ticking time bomb, bound to explode at the smallest of missteps.

Well, Soap just happens to be a demolition expert, doesn't he?

"Ghost? Did ye hear me?"

Ghost feels himself blink, and when he opens his eyes, he can only look at Soap's lips.

It's unfair, really, how it all slams into him at once, after everything.

He thinks about it. He thinks about it so vividly that he can almost feeling his rough lips against Soap's, feel his clean shaven jaw rub against Soap's stubble.

He takes a shuddering breath when the thought of betrayal and blood and Christmas lights flood his mind.

He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve Soap's lips or stubble or- hell- his being. He isn't good enough.

Besides, it'll only get Soap killed faster. More brutal. They'd make Ghost watch, too. He couldn't shoulder that.

Ghost startles slightly when Soap's gloved hand waves in front of his eyes once or twice.

"Don't get in yer heid. Stay with me, L.T."

Ghost feels his lips tremble. Soap always knows his tells.

" 'm sorry, Johnny," Simon murmurs, blinking against the shine in Soap's eyes.

Soap softens at that, concerned frown morphing into a lopsided grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"No need to apologize, Ghost. Ain't yer fault," Soap hums.

Ghost grunts at that, and if it was in acceptance or disagreement, Soap could only hope to flip a coin.

Soap takes off one of his gloves, his pale skin free from the inky, filthy glove. He holds this hand out like an offering, palm up and fingers outstretched, inches away from Ghost's chest.

"Ready to dry off, L.T? I mean, we could keep showerin' out here if ye want to, but…" Soap trails off, eyes following the dark, angry clouds moving in from the west.

Soap has the bluest eyes. Like Scorpion grasses. Those invasive beautiful bastards spread like wildfire in his mother's dingy little garden one year and she could never get rid of them. Hell, she made the whole damn garden full of Scorpion grass.

Ghost leans his head closer- ever so minutely- to get a closer look at Soap's eyes.

Yeah. Soap's exactly like Scorpion grass.

He's certainly invasive. Ghost didn't want him at first, but he kept coming back. Over and over and over again. And, well, Ghost certainly can't stand to get rid of him now. Soap calms his jumpy fucking nerves too, just like the flowers. He smoothes out Ghost's worries like it's as easy as spreading melted butter on toast.

Forget-me-nots.

That's right- they're also called forget-me-nots.

Ghost couldn't forget Soap for anything. He'd know him anywhere, anywhere at all. On earth, in hell, somewhere in the gray in between. Ghost could be blind and deaf, yet still know Soap if the man was near him.

Scorpion grass might just be his favorite flower if he allows himself that much.

"…Ghost? Ye alright?"

Ghost blinks, ripping his gaze away from the vast ocean he almost drowned in. With another, deliberate, blink, he realizes Soap is blushing. Pink dusts over his cheeks, his eyes struggling to hold their place on Ghost.

"Somethin' on my face?" Soap chuckles, the sound high and tense.

Ghost swallows, breath catching in his throat so suddenly his mouth dries up. He tugs his mask all the way down again, and fixes it firmly in place.

None of it matters anyway. Not a single bit of it. Not the way Soap looks at him like he's the most important thing in the room, not the way his face heats up when Soap punches his shoulder before they load out on a mission, and definitely not the way his heart pitter-patters oh-so quickly when Soap smiles at him when he says a stupid, corny joke.

None of that matters because the Scorpion grass in his dead mother's garden flopped over and went to hell when Ghost tried to care for them after she was gone, and so will Soap.

"Get out of yer head, Ghost."

Ghost flinches his head back, the sternness in Soap's tone sending him reeling.

"I'm was not-"

"Ye were. Ye had that 1,000-yard-stare glossed over yer eyes," Soap squints at him.

"I always have that stare, Soap. It's part of the fucking job," Ghost bites back.

"Sure, but when ye're out of it, it looks different."

"It does not-"

"Yes, it bloody does!" Soap sneers, the genuine anger in his face catching Ghost off guard. Ghost watches Soap as he sucks in a deep breath, clenching and unclenching his jaw, before swallowing behind the perfect columns in his neck. "It does. And I am sick and tired of losin' ye to yerself."

Ghost looks at him, really looks at him for any sign of- hell, he doesn't fucking know anymore. Resentment, maybe? Soap has every right to hate him.

Soap sighs, running his ungloved hand through his hair. His shoulders seem so weighted. Ghost wants to hold it all for him; carry everything even if the weight of it all breaks his bones twice over.

"Let's get inside, L.T." Soap reaches out his hand again, stronger this time and no longer shaking. "Before the rain makes ye more sick. We're both soaked to the bone and the fuckin' shack doesn't have any heating. Nothing 'sides a little fireplace. Hope ye don't mind strippin' down to yer tighty-whities near me."

It kills Ghost. It kills him that Soap doesn't speak a word of Ghost's several outbursts and breakdowns that have happened in the span of… of- Christ above, what time is it? How long has he been smothered in his head over Christmas lights?

Ghost takes a weary breath before he fully gets 'lost in his head' again.

The look of relief that breaks across Soap's face when Ghost strongly grasps his hand is enough to make the man's knees weak.

"Can't wait to see your Hello Kitty briefs again, Johnny," Ghost deadpans as Soap pulls them both to their feet. He knows Soap sees the way he sways with the rain, the way he uses the wall for support- Ghost can see it in his eyes. He's thankful, graciously thankful, when Soap doesn't mention it.

"That was one bloody time. Was Gaz's fault anyway," Soap grumbles, still holding Ghost's hand in his as he leads them inside.

As Ghost tentatively steps into the safehouse again, he realizes that Soap is a saint. Even though he's technically a mass murder, his sins are washed away with the simple act of rearranging a small shack.

Everything remotely Christmas themed is out of sight. No ornaments, no tree, no stockings, no snowmen, no Santas, no paper snowflakes- and not one single Christmas light. Ghost feels his face warm up a stupid amount as he tracks his eyes over the firepit.

The blood is gone.

Soap cleaned the fucking blood.

Ghost whips his head around, and in a rare moment- one of many so far tonight- his mouth is open without a sound coming out.

He wants to say something, really he does, but what can he say when Soap is busying himself with acting as if nothing has changed. As if this is the first time they've walked into the dump.

As if he isn't making a vile, almost forgotten feeling crescendo up in the empty void behind Ghost's sternum.

"Let's raid the place, yeah?" Soap says, looking over the layout. "There's the kitchen, living room, and bedroom. Though, that's fucking generous to call it that, eh?"

Soap is right; the living room and kitchen combined couldn't be more than 12 feet across and 10 feet wide. The bedroom is more of a closet with a pile of blankets against the wall. But, still, the kitchen has cabinets and the living room has a fireplace… that hopefully works.

"You search the kitchen, I'll see if the pit is functional," Ghost murmurs, ignoring how the words grate against his raw throat. Away from the rain, the chill of his soaked clothes is settling on his skin. He's ready to get warm and sleep away the pounding in his head.

"Copy that, L.T." Soap beams, sparing one brief glance before turning on his heels to ramble through the cabinets.

"And Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Johnny gives a lopsided smile that makes his eyes shine. "Of course, Simon."

#soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #soast #Literally what is their ship name #soap x ghost #ghost x soap #cod mw2 #Angst #hurt/comfort #Please I just want to hold their hands and tell them it's all okay #Also lmao hey I'm alive

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Wildflower

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a/n Tumblr keeps deleting paragraphs so I hope this is finally good. Thank you for the love!!! 🧡✨

Azriel x reader

*************************************************

"Here you are, little star." Lifting your head from a pile of papers, you were met with a charming smile on Azriel's face. Handsome. You always found him unbelievably handsome. With the Illyrian leathers and his slightly messy hair, he always looked way too tempting, and you were guilty of giving into your sultry temptation once in a while. 

Your recovery was awfully slow. Madja had you on bed rest for weeks. Not letting you lift a finger and leaving your bed wasn't an option. Azriel was by your side almost the whole time, neglecting most of the orders that Rhysand would give him, purely out of fear of losing you once again.

He would sit by your bed, reading your books or humming some unknown melody. Crouching down to kiss your cheek or forehead, massaging your tender hands and legs that are getting sore from not moving. Attentive. Yet he did not even once mention your last words that were said to him before you passed out. It weighed on his shoulders for days while you were unconscious. Shattering him to pieces that he did, indeed, leave you without even second guessing it.

Practically as soon as you recovered, Rhys got taken under the mountain and you were dropped to suddenly run the whole court. Something that you never wanted to do and hoped that you would never need to. You know that without the rest of the inner circle that Rhys also formed years before everything went south, you would have been screwed. With your mind clouded with so many thoughts, rational thinking wasn't your strongest point.

Azriel was your biggest rock during those years. Holding you close through restless nights, rubbing your shoulders as you sat in the chair answering letters all day long. He kept you alive. Kept you moving. Not letting you crumble, even if you turned into a shell the moment you realized how much danger Rhys was in. letting you hit his chest every time you broke down bagging, just to let you go under the mountain, to let you switch places with Rhys.

The cracks in your relationship remained, but you two turned a blind eye to them. Both needed someone to come home to late at night. Someone who was there to pick you up. You had been together for so long at that point that it genuinely felt stupid to just drop it all away. There was love there. At least from your side, even if you had become much colder and spikier. At times, you forget who you were. But Azriel was still the same shy yet cocky boy you had fallen for. "I'm here to claim my lady." Tugging at your hand, Azriel tackled you to the ground as you too couldn't help but laugh at how silly he could get at times. Resiling him on the fluffy carpet in one of the private rooms, you squealed as he pushed you down onto the ground before flopping right onto you. "How was the meeting with Helion?", his face was practically buried in between your breast. Clingy Illyrian baby, you thought to yourself, or maybe a horny one. Either way, a baby.

"Nothing new. He lifted some of the magic but he doesn't know how to get them off", you knew that getting upset over this was silly. But you couldn't help but feel like there was something more, just no one was truly trying. You left out the details of the little snarl you had with the high lord of the day court. You did not want to cause any unnecessary drama and make Azriel worried. Even though you were sure that, by now, Helion had probably moaned about it to Rhys at least twice.

Sensing your sour mood, Azriel leaned in to kiss your lips before biting the top of your breast, making you let out a yelp. "Do I need to chase your thoughts away?"," "What are you suggesting?", running your fingers through his slightly damp hair, you let yourself get lost in his eyes. Feeling some of his shadows make their way down your dress, nipping at your exposed skin.

"Do you have time? My list is pretty long", your chuckle was soon replaced by a moan when you felt him sliding his fingers closer and closer to where you wanted him most. "We can't", your fingers wrapped themselves around his wrist, "We have dinner with that poor creature Rhys stole from Tamlin", "Her name is Feyre", rolling your eyes you stood, smoothing out your dress. "You're good at remembering females' names all of a sudden." Azriel gave you an annoyed before following you out of the library. He knew a fight when the topic turned to other females was bound to get out of hands. Not that you were the jealous type. Well, maybe a little. But your insecurities come from a very rational fear. You two weren't mates. At least the bond hadn't snapped for either of you yet. Azriel had mentioned a pull that he felt towards you ever since you two met, but he never referred to it as a mating bond. So when Helion told you that the wires on your hands might have caused extra shields to surround you, meaning that such emotions were out of reach for you until they were off your body. Since then, this has been a sore subject.

You walked down the stairs like you owned this place. Eyeing Feyre up like she was a prey who was going to get eaten no matter what move she chose. Azriel pulled the chair out for you, and you gave him a smile as a silent thank you. "See, imagine me walking to her right. We seriously looked badass when we stormed to meetings like that ", Cassian was the one to break the silence. Piece of ham hanging from his fork as he continued to ramble, "I think we'll look less sexy with Rhys in the middle, though", Mor snorted, causing you to smirk yourself, even the side of Azriel's lips curled up.

However, the tension filled the room fairly quickly, and Azriel moved his hand to rest over your thigh, squeezing it gently as a plea to not start unnecessary fights. The gesture was sweet, you placed your hand on top of his, but it also annoyed you because you knew that he was doing it more for Rhys than you. High Lord's sister or not you didn't stand a chance against the high Lord himself. You would have stayed silent as the conversation around the table was the usual nonsense of family talk, but it's the lingering looks towards your hands that made you grip your cutlery tighter and tighter. You've stopped wearing long sleeves ever since your parents died. You wanted to see what stopped you from saving them. So you could be constantly reminded that you were weak and will continue to be weak until these things were removed.

Cassian was on his fifth joke of the night when you threw your cutlery on the plate, "You know it's not very nice to stare", you snarled through gritted teeth, "I just...", you sure had caught her rad-handed as Feyre dropped her gaze quickly. "No, take a good look at it", "Y/N...", Rhys's warning tone did nothing as you shoved your hands right in front of Feyre. "This is what happens to naive little girls who think that they can concur the world," "I concurred the world. I freed you from Amerantha ", and you knew that she did. That was all Rhys talked about ever since he returned. That, and that she was his mate. A tough girl, you thought to yourself, but then again, she probably didn't even know that you were Rhys's sister. "Remind me to bow when you become the high lady." With that, you turned around, storming out of the dining room. You heard Rhys apologizing. You heard chairs creaking against the floor. But you just couldn't. Couldn't swap everything under the rug and sit there like not long ago, you were all falling apart.

You were looking out of the window when you heard the doors of your room crack open. "If you're here to give me a lecture, you can rightfully fuck off." Azriel let out a sigh, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders. "You're rebelling against him for no reason", "I'm not rebelling", you argued, not feeling like by any chance you were to blame here. "I know you, sweetheart." The tone of his voice did wonders for soothing your frustration and you let your shoulders slump.

"Why does he purposely choose to ignore me?", "He sees you," and you wanted to agree with that, but it was a lie. When he came back, Rhys had called a meeting. A meeting that involved everyone but you. A meeting no one told you about until it was over. He didn't say that you did a good job running this place while he was gone.

"Does he? And what does he see? A burden? ", you moved out of Azriel's embrace, crossing your hands over your chest. "Y/n he found his mate. He's figuring it out." This, however, rubbed you the wrong way. 

"Why am I always the one who gets replaced? First by your two, now by her ", Azriel clenched his jaw tightly, not wanting to further upset you but trying to change your mind. "Okay, I'm going to leave you to brood." You let out a bitter laugh, causing him to stop in his tracks, "Yeah, do what you do the best run". Azriel growled. His hand instantly curled around your neck, dragging you across the room toward the nearest wall. You had wrapped both of your hands around his arm so that he wouldn't dislocate your head while carrying you like a rag-doll. "Why are you being so complicated", "I'm being an angel if you haven't noticed", your feet dangled in the air as Azriel breathed you in, "You and I have a very different understanding of angels, sweet", "Makes sense why our communication is so ragged", with that you were frown onto the bed. The sound of clothes being ripped filled the room. Panting, heavy breathing, skin against skin, and that delicious sound of sheared wetness. You clawed at Azriel's back as if it was your salvation. Trying to pull him as close to you as you could. You rock. He was here. Even if no one understood you, he always did. 

The next day, you two didn't leave your shared bedroom. Your body hurt, but you needed to be fucked to the oblivious until you couldn't think of anything else. Until nothing mattered. Until all, you could remember was Azriel's name. You woke up in the early afternoon. Limbs tangled together with your lover, who was peacefully sleeping by your side. Running your fingers down his cheek, you leaned in to kiss him, careful to not wake him up and slipped out of bed. You made your way towards the kitchen, fixing yourself a tiny plate of food before moving to do the same for Azriel, just granting him much more generous portions. You were about to grab a tray from the upper shelf and leave when Fayre walked in. Her eyes instantly went wide as she turned to flee. "I'm sorry about the dinner." Your words made her stop in her tracks as she turned back to you, still not daring to look you straight in the eyes. "Don't be", she muttered, "I'm just protective of him. Rhys sacrificed so much. I want him to be happy and safe. I had no intention of hurting you. Shameful for me to take my bad mood on our guest".

At your words, she had smiled, and in her eyes, you saw a genuine glimpse of understanding, "I know how you feel. I'm the same when it comes to my sister". You two stood there in an awkward silence before you offered her the food that you had spread out. A chance to start over, you told her. After all, if she was Rhys's mate, you had to start getting along. Because there was no way that you would stand between them. You two have been talking for hours. She had told you stories from her past, told you everything about her sisters. How you and Amren would make good friends with Nesta. "Are you like Azriel?", Feyra had asked you, "You mean a shadow singer? She nodded her head before taking another bite of the cake you two were sharing. "No, and if I'm being perfectly honest, I don't even know what I'm capable of," and you knew that she also could relate to that. Her knowledge of the powers that she had gained from all the High Lords was very little. Surely, that made her feel just as small and confused.

"I would assume you and Azriel are mates then", "Lovers, not mates", if you were being honest this was the last conversation you wanted to have with her, but you assumed that the concept of mate was also new to her so blaming her for being curious would have been foolish. "We've been together for some time... but... Az wanted us to have a mating ceremony even if the bond hadn't snapped. He firmly believes that once I get these handcuffs off that I would feel it too, but...", your mind drifted to all the endless conversations you two had had about this and how your heart would shatter every time you would look into his hopeful eyes. 

"But you didn't?", you shook your head, "Rhys got taken and I didn't want to do it without him. Plus, finding a mate is really important for Az and I just fear that if we're not... ", you trailed off, feeling a lump already forming in the back of your throat," that it would break him and if we have the ceremony, he wouldn't leave me out of the sheer respect he has for me." Fayre placed her hand on top of yours, giving you a reassuring smile, "Maybe if I figure out how to use my powers, I'll be able to help you out." You returned her smile. Deep down, you wanted to tell her that firstly, Rhys would never allow that because it would put her in danger, and secondly, that you were lost and had no clue yourself on how to fix this.

You made your way through the house towards the room that Rhys usually preferred to work in, a pile of op papers pressed to your side. After a conversation with Fayre, you opted to do some work inside of jumping your lover's bones one more time. You needed a reason to see Rhys. You walked in without knocking, and Rhys didn't even lift his head as you walked in. "Do you have a moment?", you asked, placing the documents on the side of his table. He only gestured to the book he was reading, mumbling, "Busy." "Rhys, I'm being serious," but he said nothing, and something inside you snapped. "You send me, Mor, Cassian, and Az to do shit for you constantly, and you can't spear two minutes for me?", harshly slamming the book closed, he looked up at you. 

"I haven't been here in over fifty years, so there's a lot to fix," "Fix? Are you being serious?", yet you shook your head, not wanting this to be the thing you two fought over today. If you were to get any help from your brother, he had to be in at least a decent mood, because once the water got rowdy, it's like all hell broke loose. "I want you to talk to someone other than Helion so I can get these things off me quicker." Your tone was much calmer now. You knew he understood. You hoped he did. He'd promised you he'd do everything to help. "Your hands can wait." Rhys's words made you feel like all of a sudden there was no oxygen in the room, "Sorry, what?" you mumbled. "I said. They. Can. Wait. There are more important things to do now," Rhys roared right at your face. You stepped back slightly, shaking your head in disbelief, "Like what, dear brother? Shoving your cock up Feyre?", Rhysand slapped his fist against the desk harshly before turning to point his finger at you, but before he could say anything, you winnowed. Winnowed without thinking. Just the need to get out lingered all over you. Somewhere where no one will find you, you told yourself. 

Not being used to the sensation of winnowing, you felt your body give in as you slumped in the dirt. Hands and knees deep in the wet and cold substance. You tried to look around, but the darkness seemed so thick that you swore you could probably cut it up with a knife. "How the hell did you get here?", you instantly turned to the side the mysterious voice was coming from, "Shit...", you muttered under your breath, realizing just where you took yourself by accident.

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #rhys x you #rhys x reader #cassian x reader #cassian x you #eris x reader #eris vanserra x reader #acotar imagine

[psianabel]

Ephemer's and Brain's scenes where they get appointed as a Union Leader - a comparison (and some other stuff relating to that)

Hi I'm Psi and I've been rotating these scenes in my mind for so long I just need to put down some words about this. Idk how long this is going to be, but I hope you will enjoy this. (Also screw the 10 picture limit of tumblr.)

There is quite the difference between those two scenes and it reflects a lot about their relationship with Ava, how they treat the title as a Union Leader, and are just ... generally interesting to look at, now that we kinda know everything.

The first frame each scene.

We know all of them got appointed at this same hill (except Strelitzia and, well, Ventus). Yet right from the start - even though the positioning are the same between them, Brain is seen lying down on the hill as Ava talks to him, while Ephemer seems to have been called to the hill to meet Ava there. Ava might have joined Brain on the hill instead of the other way around.

Brain is seen with the Rule Book in his hands already. The conversion starts for us right in the middle - he already got that book, and Ava told him to become a Union Leader.

The scene with Ephemer also starts right in the middle for us. Yet he doesn't have the rule book yet, but also asks Ava the same question as Brain.

Let's continue with Ephemer's scene for now. He questions everything Ava tells him, can't quite understand this end of the world, how he can't wrap his head around this while Ava already tells him what he has to do. It is very overwhelming for him (understandable), but he tries to listen to Ava's talk.

Ava assures him he isn't alone in this, that they can work together.

Ephemer just takes it all in, without questioning this loud on screen. I'm certain his mind is running miles right now. A silent thinker.

Brain, however, reacts quite differently. While we don't see the conversation they had before, the talk about the end, the war, doesn't happen here (which I definitely get from a narration point, and assume happened as he got the Rule Book before this scene started).

Instead he questions the choice of him taking on such an important role, immediately asking whose idea this was. Ava tells him the truth, that it was the Master of Masters, and assures him he'll be fine. And again Brain isn't quite happy about the work he just got appointed to do, and questions her about the four others - Ava must have told him about how they will take over the roles of the foretellers, to lead the Unions, how they can work together etc.

While he doesn't get an answer to his question, Ava's answer is still enough for him to draw an answer for himself - looking right through everything, how they aren't supposed to meet up before the war to do something unexpected.

"Clever as always" says to me that Ava knew Brain before all this. They definitely have met before, Ava knows how Brain thinks, how he's like and what he's capable of. Her short answers of "you'll be fine" over and over imply to me that.

The two scenes now drift apart in terms of the topic, yet they still kind of follow the same path.

Ava asks Ephemer to prepare for the other world - the world she intends to send the Dandelions to - while she starts a conversation about fate and destiny about Brain.

Again, let's start with Ephemer's scene first. Ava has given Ephemer the Rule Book now, and while Ephemer is still hung up about everything Ava just told him, Ava tells him how this other world won't have the Dandelions remember the war. Ephemer counters with how he isn't sure if this is a good idea, how the past is what makes the future after all. Ava notes how she thought he might say that and wonders if he still thought the same if he was there to witness the end.

Ephemer doesn't answer and the scene ends.

Throughout the entire scene Ava stays serious, going through this calm and collected without showing much emotion. The only time she does crack a small smile is at the very end.

Ava, now having joined Brain's side on the ground, starts dropping think-pieces towards Brain about the future, about predetermined fate, and if you knew what would happen, would you be able to change it.

Brain always answers her curious questions with curious questions of his own, furthering the discussion with her. He brings up the Book of Prophecies and knows how it holds the future in text form, wonders if you were to change the future if the text were to change as well.

Ava's expressions during that scene stays smiling, she chuckles at some answers from Brain, ... it comes off as appreciation that Brain just gets her, understands what she is about and her thought process.

A wavelength they share. Ava trusts him and you can see it in that conversation alone.

It is interesting, because with Ephemer - as he states the past is what makes the future - she simply comes off as "don't think about that. Follow the rules set in stone". Ephemer tries to challenge the thought, but Ava shuts him down. Even that far that, when he later meets Brain for the first time and Brain asks about the rules, Ephemer remembers Ava's words and follows what he had been told to.

Sure, these two topics - between Ava and Ephemer, and Ava and Brain - are different, yet it is still a conversation only the two individually got. And I can't help but compare these two, because the intentions of these scenes are the same, yet so vastly different excecuted.

And to bring everything to a peak, Brain's scene continues with him getting the Book of Prophecies, together with the list of the names of the five new Union Leaders.

Again, Ava trusts Brain in this, how he uses it, what he's supposed to do with it. And he assures her that he understood her message loud and clear. The scene ends with Brain saying he won't open it if he can avoid it and Ava, again, assuring him that he will know best.

Ava was intrusted to give the Book of Prophecies to one of the new Union Leaders in secret, noted that no one else from the other four should ever get their hands on it. Now that we know it wasn't Brain who was supposed to get it, the look at this and some other scenes get quite ... interesting.

There are some leftover things I want to cover.

- Ava and Brain have a much more comfortable conversation than Ava and Ephemer. I conclude from that that they knew each other before all this, as I mentioned before. Ephemer states that Ava is easy to talk to, so maybe that is also a factor. I also conclude from this that she specifically chose Brain for the Book because she already knew him. If she knew him before or after she got the list with the names would really be interesting to know, but sadly we don't know that. (But could you imagine if she knew him before she got her role?)

- Maybe Ephemer just needed this serious talk. We do know him as his bright, laughing boy, able to make friends quickly. He has troubles making important serious decisions alone (Shift Pride for example). Brain on the other hand is the more serious one, and Ava was more smiley in his scene - he can make decisions on his own if he wants to, maybe coming from a background where he was alone pre keyblade war times. Hm, just wondering here how this might be relevant to Missing Link one day ...

- Which scene happens first? Ephemer's or Brain's? I can only speculate, but let's put some things in order. We see one other scene between Ephemer and Ava, and it is when they meet at the fountain on the day Ephemer first met Player. There the conversation starts with "oh your name is Ephemer, right?" as if they ... have maybe met once before. Ava would definitely know Ephemer more here already if they had the talk about the Union Leader thing already. It must have been later than this then, though not much all too later, because Ephemer vanishes shortly after, to carry out what Ava asked him to do.

- So, Brain's scene before or after this point? We don't have a clear indication. I want to bring in the lines during the Ephemer - Ava fountain scene "Hey, maybe talking about the Book will cheer you up!" "Not a chance." here, simply because I feel this is important to Ava's decision of giving Brain the Book. Ephemer is so curious about the Book of Prophecies, he doesn't hide it. There is another line I want to bring in now, from the KHUx Finale.

"Master Ava told me you've been wanting to read the Book for a long time." This very line could reference this very fountain scene, implying that Brain and Ava met again at some later point to let him know just about that. Which is interesting, because it means that Brain knew that Ephemer was a Union Leader even before the war, or maybe Ava told him in a way without mentioning he's a new leader - paraphrasing here - "there is a boy called Ephemer who wants to read the Book so badly". Either way, it makes me think Brain's scene happened before Ephemer's just because of this line.

- following up on my previous point, Brain knowing that Ephemer wants to read the Book so badly from the very beginning makes the keyblade graveyard scene of them meeting for the first time interesting to look at. Other theories aside here, Brain asking him if he's the leader and if they should follow the rules, knowing this one thing about Ephemer - challenging him like Ava did in his scene, but this time in reversed roles. Kind of to see where he stands.

- knowing all that, seeing their relationship flourish through the game is so ... good. From Brain questioning if he's the leader to downright trusting him by showing him the list of the names of the Union Leaders, being the first person Brain seeks out to talk about this issue they face. I will not go into details about that, I just want to conclude it with my final image.

The keyblade, the Book, it was meant for Ephemer all this time - implying that Ephemer was the one who was circled in red by the Master of Masters in the first place.

I could go into another deep dive here, about how this was meant to happen in the first place, how even if Ava wanted to challenge fate and destiny by switching around the owners, this timeline was written down in the first place like that - but maybe that's for another day.

So ..... yeah.

Two scenes, so different, yet so similar to the core. Ephemer, who took his role as a Union Leader serious right away. Brain, who calls him a leader right away, calling himself lazy and not fit for the job in the first place.

Yet in the end they worked together blindly, understood and trusted each other.

Anyways uhhh, that's all, thanks for reading and I hope my jumbled thoughts make somewhat sense, lmao.

#kingdom hearts #khux #union cross #khux ramblings #me gesturing wildly in the air #I love Brain and Ephemer so so much #no one look at me i wanted to put these thoughts down since forever #god i could have included so many more pictures but ALAS #anyways. #KH Brain #Ephemer #(me Brain - Ava sibling theory liker. I just think that #yeah.)

[angelinthefire]

i can't decide between cute shit and timestamp

Re: this tag game

Thank you for asking!

"Cute shit"

So this is a pretty generic post-15x19, Cas-is-back-from-the-Empty fic. The setup is a lot like "Status quo ante bellum", in that Dean is still working towards fully expressing his feelings towards Cas, and Cas isn't sure where he stands. But Dean is being pretty clearly clingy, so Cas doesn't have the intense anxiety that he does in "Status quo". They go on the clown-mask-vampire hunt, Dean gets impaled, but Cas is there to heal him. But because Dean was so badly injured, it takes a lot out of Cas, and he passes out. Sam and Dean take Cas back to the motel and get him a room, and Dean stays with him overnight. The excerpt picks up the next morning. It's mostly just dialogue.

Cas wakes up first. Frozen, kind of terrified. 

Dean is snuggled into him by now. 

Dean wakes up. Jerks away in shock but recovers quickly.

Cas looks at him nervously.

Dean smiles bashfully, "Hope I didn’t wake you up?"

C: "No you didn’t"

D: "Good. How’re you doing? Anything screwed up?"

C: "No, I’m better."

D: Sighs, relieved. "I was scared."

C: Raises his eyebrows. "You were scared for me?"

D: "‘Course."

C: "Dean, you could’ve died." 

D: "Yeah that scared me too."

C: "Yeah. Me too."

D: "But… if I died… you’d come see me, right? Sneak into my memory box, wake me up? And we could just… hang out on the holodeck?"

C: "It’s a poor substitute for life."

D: "But you’d do it?"

C: (softly) "Yeah."

D: "Good. Y’know, I think… I mean… I wanna spend forever with you."

Cas stares, entirely disarmed. 

Dean’s eyes fall to his lips. 

He leans in. Cas is very still, and closes his eyes. Dean kisses him very softly.

Cas’ eyes are still closed when he pulls away.

Cas opens his eyes. Looks unsettled.

So Dean kisses him again. This time something clicks with Cas and he starts to kiss him back.

2. Timestamp

This is the scene from "Forget your perfect offering" in chapter 4 where Claire goes off to talk to Dean in the kitchen. I wrote the dialogue when I wrote the chapter, so that I would have a clear idea of what was happening with Dean, even though I never intended to post it with the fic. I'm actually pretty sure that I posted it on tumblr at some point, but I can't find it now.

The setup is that Dean is trying to give Cas what he wants so that he'll stay. And Jody, Kaia and Claire come over for a family dinner. And Dean basically tells Claire not to screw it up with her attitude. But he apologizes later, and that's when this scene takes place. Under the cut.

Dean feels bad for telling Claire not to be a weirdo, and asks her to help him with dessert so they can talk in the kitchen.

Dean: Sorry for being, y’know…

Claire: An asshole?

D: Yeah. I guess this whole thing’s got me on-edge.

C: What whole thing?

D: Y’know. Being with Cas. It’s a mindfuck. I mean, you get it, right?

C: Get what?

D: You know…

Claire stares at him.

D: Suddenly being different from how you thought you were.

Claire keeps staring at him.

D: Oh, come on. Your dad was all into Jesus. He didn’t raise you to think being gay was normal. Don’t you ever get hung up on what he’d think if he saw you today?

C: (getting agitated) No, I don’t, because he’s dead. And I had an angel in me, so I know that none of that shit matters.

D: Yeah, but when you started being into girls, you’re saying you didn’t ever worry what other people would think?

C: What the hell, I’m not your therapist, Dean!

D: Yeah. Right. Sorry.

C: (softening, just a little) I get that you need someone to talk to about this crap. But did you think that maybe that someone should be your boyfriend?

D: Talk to Cas? The dude spent eternity as, like, a giant lightbulb or something. I don’t think he knows what it’s like for everyone he knows to suddenly see him as some… some kinda… ugh.

Dean cuts into the rice krispie squares. Claire regards him cooly. The way Dean said "some kinda" gets under her skin.

Claire leans over the counter, and says to Dean in a low, icy voice.

C: Faggot.

Dean freezes and stares at Claire like she just slapped him.

D: What?

C: That’s what you were gonna say, right? That's what you are now.

Dean looks at Claire like he’s about to cry.

C: And you can wear your plaid, and carry a gun and talk like Batman, but that won't change the fact that that's all you are to some people. They'll see you and Cas together and that'll be it, they'll never see you as anything but dirty and wrong and weak. And I dunno, maybe your dad would've been one of them. But you gotta decide whether or not you're going to let them control your life. You gotta decide whether all that bullshit is worth it.

Claire takes the knife from Dean and goes back to cutting the rice krispie squares.

D: (after a long beat) Yeah. Yeah, Cas is worth it.

C: (significant look) I don't mean Cas. I mean being yourself.

D: (some kind of subtexutal reminder that Dean still thinks he's not really in love with Cas) Heh. Yeah. Thanks Claire.

C: Whatever. Don't start thinking I'm your gay Yoda.

D: It’ll be hard. You give good advice. For a dyke.

C: (good natured) Pansy.

D: Queer.

C: Cocksucker.

D: Nah, that’s not till later tonight.

C: Ew!

D: What, you don’t wanna hear about my plans for Cas’ cock?

C: No! Shut up, Dean!

#spn #destiel #ask #anon #by mi #not actually fanfic #fypo

[gloriousmonsters]

what is the new book concept?? (if you don’t mind sharing — but if you do mind it’s ok not to reply)

also what is that font you used btw? is there a full alphabet somewhere and if so would you mind sharing the link? i like that it’s a very understated gothic-looking serif. or very calligraphic looking i guess

sure thing!! with the understanding it's a lot more half-baked than most of the ideas I've been talking about, so i'm going to briefly walk you through the few ideas that went into it before explaining (also briefly) what it is so far, lol. Also, the font is Fondamento - it was one of the fonts available in Photopea (free online photoshop-like) which I used to make the cover, but it looks like it's also on Google Fonts. If you want to know how I did the bronze metallic-ink-ish look for the text I can expound on that as well, btw, or you can just enjoy the font :)

So I've been having a resurgence of my Tempest emotions

(for those who are unfamiliar. i would summarize it, but it would take a long time. just. find a summary and read it with a MASSIVE grain of salt that's labeled 'prospero is an asshole and nobody understands Caliban but tumblr user gloriousmonsters and the poet Robert Browning')

and this time reading it was especially having fun with the parallels between Caliban and Miranda's characters and also thinking about how EXTREMELY weird and screwed up their relationship would have been growing up.

Despite interpretations/stories based on it sometimes having it otherwise, in canon neither of them seem to have ever seen or spoken to Ariel (at least in capacity as A Person You Can Talk to; Caliban is more aware of the spirits Prospero commands in abstract, at least). Aside from Prospero, who is notoriously not good at being present for what he's supposed to be looking after, they are the only human being the other one knows. It's serving twisted Eden vibes. It's serving tmg's 'the last man on earth'. it's serving 'not that Prospero would have encouraged it, but to an extent they must have seen each other as family, right? especially in Miranda's case, considering she grew up her entire life with him. the psuedoincest is off the charts'. Then shit goes bad (in whatever way you want to interpret) and now suddenly they're in a place of seeing each other daily, because Caliban does literally everything around the place, but having an uncrossable rift of mutual hurt and betrayal between them* that has little choice but to curdle and get worse because neither of them can do anything to change their situation. Depending on how lines are assigned, they never speak to each other in the play. And they have nobody else to talk to save for cursing out Prospero (Caliban) or trying to get in two words between Prospero's monologues (Miranda). And then the play events happen and they just part ways because Prospero has decided it, after probably expecting they'd be stuck in this forever. And then the next-to-only person you've ever known is on a different landmass and you're probably never going to see them again. it's So fucked.

Anyway I was revolving all of that with quiet awe in my head, and going 'man, I want to write a fucked up Caliban/Miranda book, but I don't have a non-play plot and I don't want to just write a prequel'

Then I encountered Caliban upon Setebos for the first time, and despite the fact i could still nitpick some things it slaps insanely. Only good Tempest fanfiction. It's a long poem consisting of Caliban theorizing about Setebos--a god his mother supposedly got her witch powers from, but that Caliban knows very little about. He theorizes that Setebos is either indifferent or malignant or both--impossible to predict, driven by whim. The only other divine force is 'the Quiet', an even more inhuman and incomprehensible force that doesn't do anything at all; cosmology is cruel, the world a sandbox under the eye of a god with as many arms as a cuttlefish, capricious and sadistic, whom we can only hope will someday grow decrepit and sleep, which is the closest to it being dead we can pray for--

It was about this point I realized Caliban/Browning was inventing the Lovecraft mythos 50ish years ahead of schedule, and got hit by the lightning bolt of 'PUT ELDRITCH BEINGS IN IT' and, five seconds later 'CALIBAN DESERVES TO BE A MAGICIAN' and five seconds after that 'miranda deserves to break out of being her father's Perfect child, let's set it in the future and kill Prospero off'

So Bitter Heart (taken from a line in the poem, 'Caliban/a bitter heart that bides its time') is conceptually a dual perspective novella/short novel focused on how about nine years after the conclusion of The Tempest, Miranda (unmarried, I'll handwave it; Ferdinand bores me so much sorry dude) finds her father dead and surrounded by rambling half-incomprehensible notes, remnants of a type of magic that's far different from his old ways, and a creeping sense of Wrongness that begins to slowly manifest in distortion, mutation and decay of elements of reality. People search for solutions while Miranda tries to find the source of the bizarre power in her father's notes and what hidden books she can unearth from his study, but she hasn't made it very far before a man comes to Milan at the behest of someone who's decided we should throw magic at the magic problem--a man she's heard rumors of as the hot new 'guy you keep in your court for a bit to show him off at parties because he's learned and also Moorish or something, he has this crazy backstory that's probably fake but is a lot of fun, also he does magic probably' in other cities, but never met.

A man who, when they meet face to face, turns out to be Caliban, who after about a year of 'finally peace and quiet' realized that living completely alone on an island was going to drive him insane and also he still really wanted revenge on Prospero (and had a lot of ambiguous ideas about what he wanted from Miranda) so he scraped together what Prospero had left behind and taught himself magic for the next few years until he could figure out a way off the island. He's extremely annoyed that after that, and after spending more years building himself up and finding his footing in the outside world, Prospero had the nerve to die RIGHT before he showed up, even if he wasn't promised a reward if he can stop people's arms from turning into fishes and shit he'd find out what did it so he can give it a piece of his mind. Miranda understandably never planned for this scenario and has a really hard time knowing what to feel about it, but she and Caliban form a tentative truce in order to try and figure out wtf Prospero was doing before he croaked.

There'll be intercut flashbacks to their past and the time they spent becoming incredibly codependent and eventually tipping into confused romantic attraction and sexual experimentation, which both of them have tried very hard to convince themselves was a bad idea for one reason or another, it clearly wasn't and will never be good for them, etc; and of course in present day they both immediately resume having bitter gothic sexual tension and trying to ignore the instinct that, now they've met each other again, they're the only two real people in a world of dreams and spirits.

Also they have to find the entrance to an eldritch realm and figure out what's coming through and how to stop it, and have a lot of insanely weird and pretentious thoughts/conversations about God and sin and abuse and vengeance/hatred and so on. So that's the mess Bitter Heart is at the moment :P

*ymmv may vary on how justified on either side depending on the situation, obviously

#vic talks #some do it for enjoyment; others for employment #bitter heart #this is SO long and messy i can't look at it any longer -_- hopefully it's semi comprehensible

[yooniesim]

I REALLY don't want to come off as mean because I understand what it's like to struggle financially and the stress that puts you under, but I really really think it'd be for the best if you stopped using curseforge, Ceci.

Please do early access if you must! We get that it's not a matter of greed but rather a matter of survival, but please please use the means less damaging to others while keeping yourself healthy. Sims politics is nothing compared to a genocide. I hope you think about it, and I hope you can meditate on this choice. My thoughts are with you and your family 💜

Thank you for this kind comment, nonny! 💜

Honestly, I have considered it. Having a paywall is the last thing I want to do, but after living under this much financial strain for around a year now... well, it's weighing on me. As is using curseforge in the first place. I'll be honest- this month, I'll get $50 from cf. For the whole month. Sometimes it's more if I have points leftover from the previous month (so like $100 in one month), but usually that's the average. Having to use it for such (relatively) little money and dealing with the guilt of using it and the hate that results is pretty damn tough, I'll tell you that much. Like, curseforge fucking sucks and even beyond the boycott I resent the hell out of it at this point. I literally hate it and want to delete it so bad but it's the reason I was even able to even buy my meds this month. I've been working on making my patreon have better benefits without having an actual paywall, and some amazing people have kindly donated, but the amount per month varies so much it's tough to rely on. I'm really getting to be at a loss of what to do at this point. I've been exploring every other possible avenue of extra money I can that fits with my current job schedule, I do other freelance work online on top of that and cc making, and sell any stuff I have left from my collecting days. But I'm still in the red every month and it fucking sucks man. And then to come on here and have people say you love/support genocide, while researching and finding out even more about how Overwolf fucking sucks and trying to figure out how to help the boycott, then people just straight up lie about what you said so others will gossip about you publicly like middle schoolers- it's seriously awful all around. Sorry to vent at you nonny, but it's honestly depressing.

I'm on the verge of just saying fuck it, but the truth is, I'm scared to. The bottom line is that I can't function without my meds, and no one here on tumblr is gonna be with me irl to help me or pick my ass up, you know what I mean? When I log off here, simblr doesn't matter, I'm the one that deals with my own life and any negatives of that. And no matter what I do online or irl activism wise, I have this shit haunting me in the back of my mind. It feels like selling your damn soul for 50 fucking dollars, man. And how pathetic is that, you know? I guess it probably sounds like a simple choice to everyone else, but it isn't. I'm still deciding what to do and hoping, praying, that a few opportunities I'm trying to get irl yield some results. Cos like, even with CF, I'm kinda screwed either way at this point lol. I don't know. What does it even matter, right? I'll consider the early access option, but it's more probable I just quit CF and not do any paywall/CC making in general before that happens. I think if I did early access all my want to be a cc creator would suck out of my body even more than it is now. And boy has it fucking waned ever since I started posting on CF. I don't know. It's literally midnight and I think I need to sleep on it- I was supposed to already be asleep, but I saw your ask and had to answer it, oops. Sorry to ramble, nonny. Thanks again for the ask and being understanding 💜

#asks #ceci speaks #anonymous #negative #on my part not yours #highkey depressing sorry lol #hopefully ill have a better plan tomorrow/the next few days

[qqueenofhades]

1of 3) feel free to ignore this, but I'm doing Dracula Daily (never read it before) and I have a lot of feelings/thoughts and seeing as you've read it, I hope you don't mind if I rant a bit. I really want to shake Van Helsing until he starts telling people stuff. Like I can kind of get him not wanting to tell Seward that it's a vampire so he doesn't seem crazy and get institutionalized, but at some point, he should have told him anyway, or just made it clear that Lucy needs watching every night

2of3) and not just depend on telegrams/letters to tell him to watch her. But then she dies, and still instead of telling anyone what's going on, he just tells Seward that he needs to get him some surgeon tools so he can remove her head and heart (because talking about needlessly (at least to Seward) removing body parts of a corpse makes way more sense then mentioning a vampire and definitely makes him seem sane). He even talks about how they need to work together as one and need trust, of 3) and it's like my dude, have you even once considered how much easier it may be for people to work together with you as one, to trust you when you need it, if they have even a slight hint of what's going on? Personally if someone asks me to do something odd/hard/weird etc. I'm much more likely to do it, or at least complain less, if I know the reason besides a 'I'm so-and-so and you should do what I say' reason. Again, sorry for the rant.

Hush now. Of course I am delighted that people have so many feelings about a 19th-century classic horror novel that they want to come shout in my inbox about it! This is exactly why I love Dracula Daily as a concept, and think it's really clever. Everyone kind of.... already knows Dracula by cultural osmosis (he's a vampire! He has a swoopy dark cloak and he can turn into a bat! He sneaks around and Vants to Suck Your Blud!) but they are discovering they don't actually know many details about the text, and that modern adaptations have often totally slaughtered it in the aims of making it Sexy or otherwise introducing themes/readings that are not necessarily present in the original. So yes, I have read Dracula before, but I'm still really enjoying seeing the way Tumblr has gone ape for it and are all indignantly signing up for the Lucy Westenra and Mina Murray Defense Squad and drawing fanart and making memes and dropping casual references to the "polycule" and so forth. Yes.

Anyway, I wrote this post the other day discussing how everyone's over-reliance on traditional social conventions, and trying to follow the rules of how to be Good Victorians, has totally fucked them over. The whole point of what's going on is that they all keep trying to act like it's a normal situation and they need to be Decorous and Proper and Not Alarm Anyone, and like... that's the exact sort of thing Dracula feeds on (literally and metaphorically). Because he's weaponizing their extreme middle-class Victorian Englishness against them, where they can't talk to each other and they can't discuss how they feel and they can't be honest, all for fear of Offending Protocol, they're screwed. They can't coordinate, they can't do anything that might long-term help, and there is of course an interesting subtextual queer reading here, considering that Bram Stoker is universally considered to have been a repressed gay man who hid/denied his sexuality and lived in, to say the least, an openly homophobic society. Whether or not it was his primary intention to portray the rules of Good Victorian Behavior not working and instead actually actively harming people by forcing them to keep secrets and not trust that anyone else will believe them, it's an unavoidable theme in the text and one that a modern reader definitely picks up on with the benefit of hindsight.

Also, I think it's important to highlight that despite his 84 PhDs (of course he's a lawyer as well as a doctor) and generally being the book-smartest person in the story, Van Helsing has, at this point, comprehensively failed. He hasn't saved Lucy's life, he hasn't prevented her from turning into a vampire, he hasn't warned anyone else about what's really going on, he hasn't prevented Mrs. Westenra from being frightened to death, he hasn't told Arthur (poor Arthur!!!) anything about why he wouldn't even let him kiss his fiancee as she was dying, etc. And a huge part of this is because, as you point out, he hasn't told anyone anything. Van Helsing has often been narratively paralleled to Dracula, which I think is accurate: he is solely in charge of Lucy's health, as Dracula is the sole reason for hurting it. He tries to control Lucy, he tries to keep her loved ones in the dark, he tries to basically "have" her for himself -- all in the name of helping her, yes, but his treatment is just as ineffective as Dracula's assault is effective. Van Helsing means all the best, but he's kind of fucked it up!

And yes, the primary reason he's doing so is because he thinks that he alone is smart enough to solve the problem, he can't let anyone else onto his plans (even when Quincey strolled in, took one look, and was like "oh yeah this was like the time the vampire bit my horse" and asked the OBVIOUS FUCKING QUESTION of where all of Lucy's blood was going!) and he otherwise is the Only One. Just like Dracula's pride, arrogance, solitude, stubbornness, and insistence that his will/choices for Lucy are the only ones that matters, Van Helsing is doing the same thing, from the opposite side of the coin. That's why his methods can't possibly work to counteract Dracula and (as we will see in the latter half of the novel) they need to comprehensively rethink their entire strategy and discard all the old social rules and worry for "decorum" that has kept them from being honest with each other so far. But yes, we love us a good hero/villain narrative foil with the same flaws and the same methods. Which is what is definitely going on here. Because things such as Mrs. Westenra removing the garlic flowers happen because Van Helsing didn't even tell her that they were medicinal (you have one million doctorates, Abraham, make up a scholarly bullshit reason!)

So yes, as I said, and as we will see in upcoming entries, Following The Good Victorian Rules has fucked everyone over HARD, Van Helsing is acting like Dracula while trying to fix Dracula's damage and that's why it isn't working, and our heroes are going to need to have a comprehensive rethink of what they're doing and why, if they want to stop any of this in time. Dun dun dunnn!

#anonymous #ask #dracula #dracula daily #abraham van helsing #lucy westenra

[floof-writes]

i love when tragedies are like “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there”

-Starpeace, tumblr

This isn't my normal type of post, but I just closed my high school's production of 'Puffs, Or: Seven Increasingly Eventful Years at a Certain School of Magic and Magic', and I can't stop thinking about it. This show broke me and put me back together and I don't know what to fucking do about it.

I played the role of Megan Jones, and she taught me how to be a person again. Skip straight to the next heading if you just want to know what the hell I'm talking about, otherwise, here's my Love Letter to Puffs: you deserve the world and the world doesn't deserve you, but every person reading this deserves to see this show at least once in their life.

First of all, this show is hilarious. Like, 'laugh until your stomach hurts and you can't breath and you start coughing up your sanity' hilarious. Your abs will hurt after seeing this show and your tear ducts will struggle to keep up with demand. But, despite that, or maybe because of that, it is also heartbreaking. Maybe the best kind, I think. The kind that rips your heart into pieces but then sews it back together, tells you that you have to carry on, but somehow that's worse, because hope hurts more than anything else.

And to see Puffs is one thing, but to be in it?

I don't know what to do or how to feel. For the rest of my life I will have carry this grief nestled next to my soul. The characters have the faces of people I know, and goddamn that makes it so hard to think about but just as hard not to.

I am changed, for this show. I am a different person at the other end of this nine week love-stained, obsessive hell. It found me when I was in a very vulnerable place, only halfway to healing, and picked me up and straight up told me to my Megan's face that I "shouldn't have to be alone"! Told me safety is love and loneliness is a lie we tell ourselves when we hate ourselves too much to see reason. That justice is the only pursuit that brings both self-love and heartache.

Live theatre is a powerful, powerful thing and yes, a professional recording of Puffs is available on Amazon Video and some pretty good bootlegs are up on YouTube, but if this show is open anywhere near you at a local high school, college, or community theatre, then I'm begging you to go see it in person. High school-age actors are uniquely suited to this show so don't let that make you wary!

If anyone, ever, wants to talk about Puffs, I'm more than available. PM me, ask me, tag me in your post. I don't care if you're seeing this post 2 months or 2 years or 10 years from now, if I am still on this hellsite, I will respond.

Go see Puffs. If everyone on this planet did, I think the world would be just a slightly better place.

Okay, hold on, what's Puffs?

Puffs tells us the story of a certain badger-aligned house during the seven years a certain orphan boy wizard attends a certain school of magic, plus ✨it was the 90's✨. If you can't tell, Puffs is technically a Harry Potter parody, and it very intentionally gives JKR no money and is not licensed with Warner Bros. Maybe that's a small part of why it spoke to me so much, because in the simplest terms: Puffs won custody of me in the great JKR/Fandom divorce. I really felt betrayed by JKR's transphobia and treatment of representation issues and this show was a bandaid and a kiss better for my aching, eleven year-old heart.

The story follows the Puff Wayne Hopkins, a young British orphan who was raised by his uncle in New Mexico. Wayne is the nerdiest, 90's-est kid you've ever met and well, as a fan of Star Wars and Dungeons & Dragons and Lord of the Rings, when he gets his school letter he gets this idea in his head that his life is about to become as awesome as that of the average fantasy protagonist. That he's gonna be a hero! Of course, he isn't. That's Harry. It's Harry at every single turn and Wayne and his friends are constantly being screwed over as unmentioned side characters in Harry's world-shattering and school-wrecking life, not to mention that the Puffs are the laughingstock of the school anyway, constantly failing classes and being bullied by the Snakes.

The Puffs work hard to become better but it rarely turns out. I mean, just look at Cedric, who plays a huge role in mentoring Wayne and his classmates the first act. Yikes. As the Puffs grow into their teen-hood it even gets a little spicy (in the hilariously awkward, teenage way), and eventually, they each come to understand that Puffs matter, Puffs are the best, in fact, Puffs are the "Mighty Ducks of wizards. No. The Mighty Ducks 2 of Wizards!"

#I attempted the ADHD easy reading formatting btw #that's why the colors and italics are so overboard #puffs or: seven increasingly eventful years at a certain school of magic and magic #live theatre #theatre #acting #high school theatre #character work #puffs the play #puffs #megan jones #wayne hopkins #cedric diggory #harry potter

[flamencodiva]

Tag List Reopening

So my tag lists is now open back up again. Hoping that tumblr doesn't screw them up. So I do write Dean as a major focal point.

So for now my only list would be a Dean Tags where it's mostly Dean and Female Reader

and then Dean everything which is Dean and EVERYTHING (includes M/M and Wincest)

S0 if you want to be in the Dean Tags (dean/female pairing) you need to let me know.

Just know that I will put BOTH of these lists on my fics Only the Dean everything will be tagged in any M/M pairing story.

Let the Tagging Begin!

For anyone who was on my old taglist before I stopped I'm tagging you to me if you want to continue to be on it. let me know.

@happyt0exist @zooaliaa @that-one-gay-girlt @stixnstripesworld @foxyjwls007 @sexyvixen7 @supernatural-love14 @winchest09 @downanddirtydean @deangirl93 @deanwanddamons @440mxs-wifee @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @peachyyybabyy @jensengirl83 @1000roughdrafts @lunarmoon8361 @kickingitwithkirk @preciouscupcake @crashdevlin @hobby27 @waynes-multiverse @couldhavebeenamermaid @petitgateau911 @peachyafshawn @magssteenkamp @treat-winchesterswith-kindness @thinkinghardhardlythinking @holylulusworld @teresa-67 @stoneyggirl2 @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @writercole @watermelonlipstick @msmarvelouswinchester @wingedcatninja @bccky @siospins @akshi8278 @sandlee44 @thoughts-and-funnies @janicho88 @deandreamernp @beabutterfly987 @avanatural @cemini-winchester @virgosapphire79

#tag list open #update

[ghostboyjules]

It appears the last two (2)….times I’ve tried creating this post, tumblr thought I was too wordy, so I’m going to attempt to get in and get out before it eats itself again

this playlist (a Dream of the Endless™ character examination via my silly brain and sad ass music) took me entirely too long and I'm going to throw my laptop out of the window if I have to look at it any longer so pls pls take it and I hope that if you listen or even read the lyrics that you find something new, or hear something you like.

This absolutely would not have ever seen the light of tunglr.hell if not for the beautiful souls of the Sandman fandom, and a few of my new friends and mutuals. So special internet cookies and hugs to these inspirational, encouraging, and beyond talented individuals; @wordsinhaled , @weirdfishy , @wizardofgoodfortune , and @xx-vergil-xx - i love y'all dearly and I hope this is even HALF of what you would have expected, or a quarter of the amazing content y'all have bestowed upon my lil eyeballs. Now Onward! to words that personally injure me!

Florence + The Machine -Too Much Is Never Enough

And the crown, it weighs heavy 'Til it's banging on my eyelids Retreating in covers and closing the curtains One thing's for certain, oh A year like this passes so strangely Somewhere between sorrow and bliss

Oh, who decides from where up high? I couldn't say "I need more time" Oh, grant that I can stay the night Or one more day inside this life

~I first encountered this song in it's source material FFXV, and there it destroyed me. Now, wearing my dumb lil blorbo glasses yet again, it is back with vengeance..goth royalty sad wet cat flavored (gross), vengeance. "too much is never enough" .... oh sweeties...

VIRA - God Complex

God, I could try To be the one To be the one I'll tear down the sky What do you want? I'll do it all for life My love, my alibi Tonight, tonight I'll try to do it for you

I'm gonna be where you are Doesn't matter how far Because we are meant to be I'm gonna be what you need Darling, please worship me Unless you prefer to plead

~pretty sure this is the angriest sounding song on this thing? but it is fitting.. and desperate.. and wanting and... painful. when she grits out 'try' and 'sky' the way she does.. god the emotion. this just brought to mind Dream and falling for someone hard enough to the point of destructive devotion...

AJJ - Body Terror Song

It will betray you Be used against you Then it will fail on you, my dear But before that, you'll be a doormat For every vicious narcissist in the world Oh, how they'll screw you all up and over Then feed you silence for dessert

~ I love seeing people explore the idea of Dream just...not vibing with being fully corporeal. At least not in the way he is while in the Waking.. what a mood, and especially after the fishbowl...whew.

Philip Wesley - Lamentations of the Heart

[Instrumental~]

~I wanted to include a few instrumental tracks in here and this one felt apt because I used to fall asleep to this album all the time. Like it was one of the only ones I could fall asleep to with any certainty. The feeling and title for this one tho struck me with Dream specifically so I went with it. The rest of the album is so nice though, highly rec.

Iris Lune - Paper Mache

Save me from myself I've been in the dark too long Paper mache love Make me believe that I can change Make me believe that I'm not strange At all

~ this song!! it sounds so so ethereal and her voice is GORGEOUS but the lyrics!! have mercy the lyrics! big ole owwie! "save me from myself" , "make me believe that I can change, make me believe that I'm not strange" hhhh (also if y'all couldn't tell, this will be dreamling flavored, I think I'll tag them too jic but. yes...)

Penny and Sparrow - A Kind of Hunger

tremble, recognize the distance Go try and murder every preference I’ll keep hangin' ‘round for reference come care about me come care about me

changing, watching you with wonder you’re less and getting even younger dying is just a kind of hunger come care about Me come care about Me

~this is... such a heavy song. hadn't heard it before starting this playlist but found it and immediately had to add it.. just. come care about me. changing, watching you with wonder. Dying is just a kind of hunger. that line specifically. -lays on the floor for 3hrs-

Carly Rae Jepsen - Gimme Love

Gimmie love (Oh) It's the way we are together (Oh) Wanna feel like this forever, forever (Oh) It's the way we are together And I never thought I'd ever say forever

~originally was gonna be a joke song to lighten the mood but haha! nope! I mean it is lighthearted but it still absolutely, in my mind, fits Morpheus. beautiful babygirl of the endless...smooch

Jon Bellion - Stupid Deep (Acoustic)

What if who I hoped to be was always me? And the love I fought to feel was always free? What if all the things I've done Were just attempts at earning love? Yeah 'Cause the hole inside my heart is stupid deep, oh, stupid deep

~this song fucks me up! 😀 for real though, I highly suggest watching the acoustic performance of this that he has on youtube cause the vibe is so.. intimate and dreamy and gorgeous.. and the lyrics.. jon bellion, sir.. smh.. the ending..

Marika Hackman - Undone, Undress

They heard my heart for miles The air inside Was seeping out In silent shouts It crumpled in my chest

~this is definitely... a nightmarish..creeping kind of song, and the lyrics are, according to the Genius annotations, rather distressing but I don't really see them the same way. I can't really explain it but hopefully y'all will see what I mean. love this one specifically "Load me heavy, I can't bend. Break me better, so I won't mend" break me better.... hhhhhh

DBMK - Switchblade

Did you hear I coughed my heart out? It never fit me so I'm likely to drown My body yearns for something real now Suggesting kitchen counters, can openers, and close encounters to hold me down Ain’t no one's boyfriend, wow I'm busy up in my brain but they don't see anything, yeah

I open up too easily, look at me Single sided blade of insecurities, yeah I open up too easily, speak to me Cutting through my comfort like its misery, sad

~this. SONG. he just like me fr 😔 azdcafs nah, honestly idk if this is projecting, but to MEE I like to think about Dream being so ready for a partner, and he gives so so much of himself to them and loves so passionately but he also has just... so many issues. just ugh this song..

Blegh - His Hands

He feels handcrafted just for you But he's a little bit too far away and You can't, you can't His hands are on you And you know you'll be gone by the morning but you know he loves you And you know you like his strong hands, strong hands

You're too real for me You should go to something better I'll give you to someone better I have friends that'll be on earth for longer I have friends that won't feel like monsters

~another song that I was not prepared for before hand that ruined me so viciously, that I had to scream at multiple ppl about it, most of which were mentioned in this post, but Verg's reaction was very memorable because I believe she told me she was on public transportation and the way she phrased it had me rolling around on the floor. but yeah y'all just gotta hear this fuckin,... bear mace of a song (with your Dreamling Glasses™ on pls, as i believe it is meant to be asxacsgdcvc)

Agent Fresco - Wait for Me

I can’t see clear The rage of rivers roam every tear They all fall through vague and vast tunnels With hurts of hatred came blinding years Will they disappear?

I’m far away, treading a path I’ve made and it’s laid with stones of fallen love I need to feel and to make atonement before coming home

~-motions to song- I mean... c'mon... this alone? nah nah nah..I gotta lay down.

Talos - Endgame

I’m drawn across An empty space This dreamland now A tired waste O it’s the endgame

A blackout heart A seething truth There’s nothing in me Left for you We’re lies

~ Talos...Talos Talos Talos... y'all. if you don't know him, but like indie-ish electronic music with beautiful angelic Irishman vocals? pls... he makes me insane. He also just gives me Morpheus vibes in general, I'm not exactly sure why, but... I also think the cover art on his first two albums are very Morpheus energy, could just be me tho

Emma Ruth Rundle - Savage Saint

I held him, his whole life In my hands, in my heart

Don't be ever forgotten, Savage Saint Never draw blood in the garden, faint Don't be the name that's drawing shame and Never let your heart harden, little flame

~I knew I had to have Emma Ruth in here somewhere, but it took me a second to find the perfect song.. and I was torn between a few, but I saw this one and. Immediately my heart was out of my body. Thinking about Orpheus.. and Dream thinking about Orpheus.. draw blood in the garden,,, I held him his whole life.. in my hands in my heart.. little flame.. it seems I am upsetti spaghetti.

Sleeping at Last - Neptune

Stitch by stitch, I tear apart If brokenness is a form of art I must be a poster child prodigy Thread by thread, I come apart If brokenness is a work of art Surely this must be my masterpiece

I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how I'm only honest when it rains An open book with a torn out page And my ink's run out I wanna love you, but I don't know how

~Sleeping at Last my beloved <3 ... if I could snort 'atlas pt 1 the album' I fuckin would. also there's a song on there for literally any blorbo. i could bet my life on that. somewhere on there! "if brokenness is a work of art, surely this must be my masterpiece" ah hah.. hahaha..

Sea Power - Want To Be Free

Now we're under the stars Smoking cigars On top of a motorcar Hanging out Like some kind of nebula We

Want to be free Want to be free It will last forever Eternally

~this one was more for vibes and because it's beautiful, but also if I think too hard about Morpheus and how he just wants to be normal and rest for a little while, then I will have to go eat a whole bag of chocolate chips and cry myself to sleep.

Clem Turner - Divine Loser

"Connect yet stay opaque," I cannot have it both ways Please do not tell the time I can't be trusted with the date

My god, you break the skin But may I be thy heaven? Will you take my sickness While I deprive you of your health?

~haha Divine Loser..defo Morpheus (jk. or am I) that second part I included.. I keep having to re-read those lyrics, cause.. my goodness. there's a part later that says "baby just let me bleed in peace" like... whoof. Clem Turner is the only person on here twice, mostly cause these two songs are just so phenomenal I had to and the lyrics... SHMACK.. and Clem's VOICE?? pardon me?

Clem Turner - Honeywell

Get it through your pretty head Take me with you instead Forget her, she's gone So, tell me, dear stranger What's got you distraught?

Mm, here I am to bring Psychosomatic freedom to your head May I be of service, newlywed? See me as a host to all your greatest dreams And then some change As long as your compassion stays the same

~"So tell me, Dear Stranger, what's got you so distraught?" Um..is that in a dreamling fic, cause... 👀 and then "see me as a host to all your greatest dreams and then some change, as long as your compassion stays the same." running in circles, sobbing, hopping out my window, running into the woods...etc

Mustapha Kamel - Can You Feel Me

[Instrumental~]

~ this song just makes me -lays face down in the carpet for 2+ hrs- and the cello is gahdamn gorgeous..

The New Basement Tapes - When I Get My Hands On You

When I come home to you Gonna take you down to the riverside When I come home to you Hold you in my arms all night

And now you know Everywhere on earth you go You're gonna have me as your man

~ Mushy Dream Rights!!! let this inconceivable being be a sap!! I love seeing him clingy and sweet and so so in love and just AAAHHH I could literally weep, I love this weird scrungly man.

Glass Animals - JDNT

I'm all armored up I've got my old helmet on Keeping out an eye Puffing all my feathers up One more little blow One more tap and I collapse

~heehee another nightmarish song. not only is this a fuckin BANGER, but Glass Animals has such a.. Sound. that's dreamlike most of the time, but sometimes can be so.. tense and creepy, and the lyrics can be violent and just downright odd. mostly from the zaba album, but regardless. I could talk about Dream + Glass Animals for hours, as proven with N (@wordsinhaled) because we have done exactly that, I think twice now lolololol (also I thought the line abt the helmet was.. hehe funny)

ABRA - Pride

Palms up, no crown You wanna mess around I wanna hold you down It's not okay I need you everyday

I lost all the pride That I thought I could keep Can you see me Say you feel me It's a big world But I fall at your feet Reach out and touch me

~ this was originally an entirely different song! but I switched it out last minute and I am v happy that I did because this song..this song fucks severely, but also it lets me put a facet of Dream on this playlist that I love seeing, which is the needy and seductive lil bastard that he can be. i think i could make a whole other playlist dedicated to that aspect tbh azcacdfavcg

Purity Ring - Asido

Oh, the madness in weakness Doubled o'er on the plate Fill an ocean with weaponry Hurricanes of our grace

Feel as lonely as I do, as I do Feel as lonely as I do, I do Feel as lonely as I do

~I wanted some Purity Ring on here because I know their genre is sometimes described as dream pop or witch house, and their lyricism has this... poetically visceral aspect to it sometimes that I adore while also being very ethereal. Love them. also tho, feel as lonely as I do?? of course it had to be in here.

Hozier - It Will Come Back

Don't let me in with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

It can't be unlearned I've known the warmth of your doorways Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you Oh, please, give me mercy no more That's a kindness you can't afford I warn you, baby, each night, as sure as you're born You'll hear me howling outside your door

~ okay look, I know everybody and their mother who has made a playlist like this has put Mr. Andrew Hozier-Byrne on it, but like - come on.. look at those lyrics. He just Gets It™ and the music slaps ass! I have like, an actual Dreamling playlist in the works as well, which I'm sure will be... longer. but hopefully I'll have the foresight to work on it a bit at a time, and PERHAPS prepare a word document, since I cannot seem to help rambling at any chance I get 💀

Son Lux - Labor

I will break with you For your body to be freed and pleased Take the weight of you For your gravity to be erased

Come to life, my hungry arms are begging you But what more can you do?

Labor reveal before our eyes Into our ears Unfurl with light The stars around us disappear Just what is torn What comes alive inside of us

~ I wanted.. something big on here. I don't necessarily have a desired order for this to be played in, but this was the last one I added, if that tells you anything. The opening of this song is a little jarring, but the piano is so. beautiful. Son Lux has such a way of composing their music that just leaves me breathless and astounded at the feelings music can bring forward in me, and speaking in Dream terms, I feel like that would be the kind of song he really appreciates. I'm not gonna end this with rambling about the complexity of human emotion, because I don't believe tumblr could handle me doing that - operation-wise, i feel like it's abt to stab me as is- It's also not why I'm here lol. "I will break with you. For your body to be freed and pleased. Take the weight of you, for your gravity to be erased." the rest of that line literally mentions a phantom muse.. I think, viewing this in terms of Morpheus' marriage, and maybe even how he thinks about marriage as a concept is interesting. On Genius they mention that on a Son Lux insta story they talked about the first half of the song being about helping a friend die, and the second half about the birth of Ryan Lott's son. Looking at in that framing is also,,, WHEW.. okay this paragraph has been long enough lmao

WELL GEEZE.. looks like I've finally made it to the bottom without tumblr shitting itself again, so I'm gonna wrap this up before it gets the chance to. HAH.

If anyone has bothered to read this far; I cannot thank you enough nor can I tell you how much I appreciate you reading my inane mangling of the English language to be overly emo about music and a spindly nightmare of a man, but REGARDLESS. Thank you, I love you, and I would absolutely take a stab wound for you and make you cookies. 💕🖤💕🖤✨

#holy shit. #this is I think. the longest thing I have ever worked on and posted to tumblr dot hellsite.. #the sandman #dream of the endless #babygirl of the endless <3 #heh heh sorry i had to. it brings me joy. #also if y'all see typos -other than the on purpose shortening of words cause i am a lazy bastard first and foremost- ... no you didn't #i really mean it tho if you've read all of this AND listened to the playlist?? i would straight up die and kill for you sorry not sorry #okay i'm ... leaving my computer now because i've been here for.. #longer than i would like to disclose in my tumblr tags so.. tata for now beloveds #playlist #Spotify #dreamling #a hint of..or flavored ig.. #almost forgot to tag them hehe oops

[crazy-loca-blog]

I said this to a friend but roommates with benefits Mc friend sounded out of character completely at first she's like oh yeah girl you should do him ,but now she's acting antagonistic towards drew it felt like there was supposed to be 2 best friend for mc cause she wasnt acting like that before.

First, I'm so sorry for taking this long to answer! Adulthood sucks, and for the first time in weeks I had a moment to sit down and properly check Tumblr.

Second... YEEEEESSSS!!!!!! YES TO ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!

(Spoilers under the cut)

I swear I don't understand Samira, she's so weird!! I don't know if the writers made her a mess on purpose or if they just didn't pay enough attention when they developed her character. For some reason I knew she was going to be caught at the party, but when the MC saved her ass (it was the right thing to do), I was like "that's it? they're besties again? Drew isn't that awful anymore?". That was so anticlimatic!

I'm also getting tired of her being overprotective, especially because the MC doesn't behave that way towards her. I know she's right about the MC not caring about her scholarship and her studies, and I get it, she's the best friend who cares about her, but life is about making mistakes and grow up, and she's not letting the MC to grow up. It's suffocating. I wonder if we can just set up Samira and Dutch or Inez, so that she stops being our MC's mom! 😂

Anyway, I keep telling this book is a joke, but for some reason it has me hooked! I stopped having guilty pleasures forever ago, but this feels like a new one! 😂 I'm so torn when it comes to the MC's behavior! Did you read the latest chapter? I wasn't expecting that ending AT ALL!! That was just so freaking cute!! It melted my heart, and I can't wait to read the next chapter!! I know the premise is that Drew is trying to change the MC, but I'm sure he's just beginning to show a side of him that no one knows and I can't wait to find out what he becomes, because he has all the potential to become one of those amazingly written LIs. I hope the writers don't screw this up.

#answered asks #playchoices #choices stories you play #roommates with benefits