#and i have one of my daily headaches so thats fun | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

renthony · 2 years

Note

i want to chime in as another person- my mind was changed on NPD years ago but it was only because of like, real human people talking about their actual experiences that helped me realize it was not The Evil Disorder (TM) in the same way that I realized ASPD wasn't THe Evil Disorder (TM). I guess I was maybe more likely to realize something was up because i also hit a bunch of the diagnostic criteria for it but like, when literally all you hear is "narcissist just means someone is a self centered asshole" it's hard to realize that that's not actually what it is at all.

and they for real taught us that shit in school. we had a whole discussion about the myth of narcissus and how obviously that hurt ~everyone else~ more than narcissus, even though he literally starved to death and turned into a flower. it took me until i was like 17 and someone else went "hey thats kind of fucked up" before i was like oh yeah. that was probably not something he did for fun huh

idk where i'm going with this but i respect the hell out of you being willing to brave the internet goblins and be like "stop being an asshole about ppl with npd" because its gotta hurt way more when people are being an asshole about something you actually got. i made like one or two posts ages ago about the "narc abuse" ableist bullshit and i remember it being enough of a headache even when it completely and totally was not personal for me bc i do not have it

oh uh idk im sure you know this but for the people in the back sitting around, aspd is antisocial personality disorder and people with aspd are also not evil malicious serial killers in waiting or whatever the ~common interpretation~ is and people with aspd are just as capable of being good friends and normal ass people who don't run around cackling evilly or whatever and kicking puppies, just like anyone else. but buying into ableist mythology about people's diagnoses is absolutely going to cut you off from other regular people who are just living their lives and is also associated with higher rates of violence against other people :,) bigots kill

To be honest, a large chunk of the reason I get so vocal about NPD is because of how bad the ableism has wormed its way into my head. It's pretty much a daily occurrence that my housemates have to remind me that asking for help isn't manipulative and that I'm not being an evil little monster just for needing reassurance. Anti-cluster-B ableism curls up in your head and feeds on all your insecurities and struggles and it's so, so goddamn hard to deal with.

I can't ask for help getting out of bed on high pain days without getting paranoid that I've somehow manipulated my husband into being my reluctant servant. Doesn't matter how many times he reminds me that he's here because he loves me, and how helping me out of bed is an expression of that love. The internalized ableism still makes me so deeply fucking afraid that I'm the shitty one.

I have a daffodil tattooed on my head as part of my big floral scalp piece, and it's for Narcissus. Ovid's version of the story is the one that's always stuck with me the most, where Narcissus is tricked into his downfall by Nemesis. His worst crimes were "rejecting proposals from people who felt entitled to his body" and "being kind of an asshole, which is something that literally everyone is guilty of at times."

In the end, Narcissus didn't waste away because he was too self-absorbed for anything else, it happened because he was treated with trickery instead of compassion.

97 notes · View notes

tunabesimpin · 6 months

Note

Hello! I'm not sure if oc interactions are open at the moment, so feel free to answer this whenever they are 🧍‍♀️

May I ask for Tuna's opinion on Yuuta and Victoria? (Yuuta is sort of my Yuusona, whereas Vic is.... Just my favorite oc 😭)

Of course! Hope you don't mind just writing for now! ^o^ I love how you wrote your profiles for them, and the style for them too! It gives off that same vibe as the twst count down art!

Yuuta-

How they meet! Likely Tuna saw them while Yuuta was in the Botanical Gardens. As a part of the mountian lovers club, Tuna sometimes has to help Jade replant some specimens and thusly had seen Yuuta! Though since Yuuta seemed surround by an air of "do not disturb", Tuna dubbed it safer to watch from a distance. It's not until chapter 3 takes place that the two will actually interact! Since Tuna works in monstro lounge and tends to eaves drop on Azuls dealings, they probably overheard the task Yuuta has to do. Tuna catches Yuuta on the way out giving a snarky remark "Hopefully nothing FISHY happens on you're little adventure~" To be honest Tuna just wanted make a pun, but their sarcastic tone doesn't help build any bridges... it's up to Yuuta to decide if he'll let that slide or not!

How they interact/ Get along! Tuna's probably scared of Yuuta to a degree. Hearing bro has gun skills and knife skills is both impressive and frightening. On top of that hearing of his feats in the little time he's been brought here, Tuna will try not to get under their skin too much from here on out. Tuna likes to prank, but they know not to stick their hand in a bee hive. If Yuuta ends up making friend with Tuna, it's likely a calm friendship. Yuuta can come get snacks while Tuna is on duty and Tuna will go watch Yuuta do knife tricks. Unless Yuuta wants to talk, its going to be whats it called.. !!! Parallel play LMAO- im sorry thats the only term i could think of. -This could become a similar relationship to how Tuna interacts with Jade (sarcastic banter and friendly bickering) if trust is built enough -Zodiac wise (im speaking purely from my own experience w a true bestie) : Scorpio + Virgo friendships STAY ON TOP!!!!! LITERALLY THE SASS AND ATTITUDE IS SO FUN- Like instant besties imo (dont take this too seriously i just like the zodiacs)

Victoria-

How they meet! So if you don't know, Tuna and Rook are besties. Besties who fuel each others eccentric personalities... If she had a headache with one, she will have two headaches with both. One day while the two fools were heading along to Rooks dorm for a hangout, Victoria happened to be passing along. Looking as stunning as always, Rook released plenty of praise to which Tuna also joined in "You have wonderful style! Truly as Rook says 100 points!" From then Tuna will likely start noticing Victoria around more often and may give a wave hello. If Tuna so happens to hear Victoria's claim of seeing and hearing all, Tuna will invite her to join them and Rook during their daily... uh... rounds of the campus (they watch the other students;;; =v=). I MEAN WHAT BETTER BONDING THEN OVER A SIMILAR ACTIVITY! ^o^ is what Tuna is thinking at least. -Note Tunas UM allows for a stealth buff so when they invite Victoria for these rounds, it is quite literally they are all hidden w Tunas UM, Rook analyzes and Victoria can choose what she'd like to do as they go along campus being terrors. They mostly eavesdrop on classroom/ hallway gossip.

How they interact/ get along! Tuna personally just admires Victoria's beauty a lot, they aren't scared of her so much as they worry about making her upset. Depending on how Victoria responds to Tuna's odd way of friendship, there's two outcomes. 1) She dislikes Tuna -> Tuna feels the vibe is off and simply just waves in passing by and nothing more. 2) She doesn't mind Tuna -> Tuna sees this as an opportunity of friendship and further tries to encourage hangouts and fashion nights in which Tuna attempts not to dress like a rodeo clown for once. Overall I can see them being sort of similar to Vil & Epel oddly enough. Victoria being a sort of 'mother bird' picking and teaching Tuna, 'that ball of feathers yet to molt'. Slight bickering but by the end of things its not hatred at least.

Thank you for sending me your ocs!!! I hope i didn't make them too OOC or anything!!! Overall Tuna is a goofball at heart so interpret as you will~!

#tuna be talkin #rosietrace #Sorry if you wanted an art depiction as well #I wanted to doodle the scenarios but #i mostly want to see if im understanding the ocs right first or if i butchered them greatly LMAO #twst #twisted wonderland #twst oc #twst tuna #oc interaction

6 notes · View notes

cinameowroll · 2 months

Text

01. for bestie,

a letter for Alan :3 [happy]

Hi bro [insert cat eating chips gif] first of thank you for being my bestie !! Excuse my grammar (I'm bad at writing letters okay 😡) IM TRYING MY BEST! And this is my first time writing a letter for a friend-

I'm glad I met you and I'll be forever grateful that I met you ♡ and the fact that I met you the day after Christmas :O I MIGHT bcome annoying in the future so I apologize in advance for that JAJAJAJAJAJAJA you are berry (🫐) fun to interact and chat with !! And thank you for listening to my rants IM HEEE TO LISTEN TO YOU OK I MIGHT BE BAD AT COMFORTING BUT IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS; just tell mE O⁠_⁠o IM WILLING TO HELP (as much as I can) and lend ears ^⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠^ and AM I BORING TO TALK WITH 😭 HELP I FEEL LIKE I GIVE YOU THE SAME RESPONSES OVER AND OVER 😢 (i might seem like a person with no humor bcs I can't even make a joke in ENGLISH)

And thank you for listening to my daily I HATE SCHOOL AND HWS messages ❤️ (it will continue since I WILL hate school forever WITH EVERY INCH OF MY HEART) I'm happy to have someone that will listen to me talking abt how my day went; for our daily "how are you?" conversations !!! sometimes one of us might b lying that they're doing okay [insert THAT one dog gif]

I enjoyed playing roblox and pjsk with you (⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠) I almost got an headache b4 bcs I was playing with you for an hour but I ENJOYED PLAYING WITH YOU THATS WHAT MATTERS 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

FOR MORE DAYS WITH YOU!!! YAYYYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYA my phone is at 6% 😢 byebye

LASTLY please fix your sleeping schedule !!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡

1 note · View note

mediocrevideopodcast · 3 years

Text

Boundaries

Request: Hi!! I was wondering if i could get some headcanons for the boys with a s/o who like,,, is trying to stay no contact with an abusive/toxic parent,,, and thinking about going back to them? Just generally doubting whatever they went through/that they have a right to feel the way they do? Ive been struggling a lot and rly need some comfort :( but if its not something you’re comfy with or anything, thats cool too!!!

[A/N: To the person who requested this... I love you! You're doing great, and I hope you know that you are Loved. It's incredible that you were able to cut them out of your life: that takes a lot of courage and strength! I've been dealing with something similar on my end, so I certainly know how you feel. Much love, anon. You don't need them: don't let them drag you back in. You’re perfect without them: there’s no need to feel guilty over what THEY did. Muah!]

Pairing: Raphael/Reader (Established), Leonardo/Reader (Established), Donatello/Reader (Established), Michelangelo/Reader (Established) (ALL SEPARATE - NONPOLY)

Content Warnings: Mentions of abusive parents, although nothing is graphically described. Comfort headcanons, for the most part.

Word Count: 1546

Raphael

He notices that you aren’t feeling well super quickly. He’s a great listener, and he’ll let you vent for as long as you need; however, he’s not going to let you overthink the situation too much. If you’re really genuinely doubting how abusive they were to begin with, he’ll probably cut you off in the kindest way possible. It’s good to talk about your feelings, but you can’t let yourself drown in them, you know?

You did so, so good setting your boundaries last time! And he’s really proud of you for that. But unfortunately, toxic people will always try and weasel their way back in. You have to stay strong. He’ll be there for you every step of the way, too. They hurt you deeply, and you don’t need to apologize for their actions.

If they’re starting to harass you, he’ll offer to respond in your place if you don’t feel like you’re able to at the moment. There’s no shame in blocking their number or email, either.

He’ll offer to take you out somewhere to get your mind off of the situation for a little while. When he’s feeling stressed he likes to work out, but that might not be for everyone. But if you wanna kick the shit out of a punching bag… I’m just saying, it’s very stress relieving. He’s also down to get some pizza too. Anything to take your mind off of it!

Oxymoronic. If you had to describe how you feel right now, inside your body, that would be the perfect word to describe the sensation. You feel weightless, almost outside of your body; yet, that sinking pit in your stomach tethers you to the earth. You feel like you’re going to vomit, replaying the words from your parent’s most recent voicemail in your head. It’s been… a while, hasn’t it? You glance nervously as your phone, checking the time before switching it on. You stare at your lock screen for a moment, trying to find the courage to unlock it, before setting it down with a gentle thud against the hardwood table. You don’t know what to do anymore.

“Hey,” Raph whispers. You jump, startled by the sudden noise before forcing a smile.

“Are you okay?” he asks. You nod.

“Are you sure? It looks like something’s really bothering you.”

“Yeah,” you mutter, “I’m okay. Just life, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that,” he sits down next to you slowly, smiling gently, “But life is hard sometimes. Do you wanna talk about it?”

You smile gently, if not a little sadly, and shake your head a little. He always knows what to say. “Well, it’s just…” you pause, “I don’t know. It’s my parents again. They’re trying to get back in contact with me again, and I just… it’s hard. Like, what if they changed, you know? I thought I set my boundary really well, so if they’re trying to talk to me, it kind of makes me think that they changed. Or maybe I overreacted, or-”

“Honey, I love you, but I’m gonna have to stop you right there,” he interjects, “You were super clear that you didn’t want contact anymore the first time, so the fact that they’re still trying to weasel their way back in? It shows that they haven’t changed… at all. They’re abusive now, and they were back then too. If they weren’t, you wouldn’t have cut them off in the first place, right?”

You hum and lean into his side. He pulls you towards him gently, cocooning you in his strong arms. You close your eyes and sigh. “Yeah,” you whisper, “that makes sense. I just… I don’t know why they keep doing this, I hate it. I don’t wanna have to deal with this anymore. It’s like every few months they pull this. I don’t know why they just can’t let go.” You wrap your arms as far as you can around his middle, leaning into his embrace as deeply as you can.

“I know, hun. But you know what?”

“Hm?”

“The fact that you don’t understand why they do what they do… it just shows that you’ll never be like them. You’re strong, you’re sweet, and you’re kind. You don’t want to hurt others, and you’ll go to any lengths to help people,” He runs his hand along your back soothingly before trailing up your arm and squeezing it gently, “I wish that they weren’t doing this to you, because you deserve so, so much better than that. But I love you, okay? You’re gonna get through this.”

Leonardo

He’s super observant, and he picks up on your distress quickly. He’s a good listener, and he’ll let you talk for as long as you need. He’s more of the ‘get it all’ out type when it comes to venting. He’ll hold you close and let you cry, if that’s what you need.

Setting boundaries is hard, and he’s really happy that you managed to cut them off in the first place! Assessing your own needs and coming to terms with the abuse that they put you through is really important, and he’s really impressed that you were able to do that. But people never talk about what comes after: keeping those people out of your life. If you’re ever doubting your decision, he’ll be right by your side to back you up. Toxic people will try their best to manipulate you, and he’s not gonna stand by idly and let them guilt you into a relationship with them. They’re the only ones who can control their actions. You have a right to feel the way you do!

He’ll offer to respond to them via email or phone call, if you feel like you need to respond to them. He’ll also offer to beta read your emails if you need to restate your boundaries to them. Sometimes just reading them outloud helps you feel a little bit better, a little bit more secure in your choice.

He definitely ups the self-care and fun outings in your daily life. Dealing with abusive parents is so stressful, and honestly? The LEAST you could do for yourself is kick back with some ice cream.

Donatello

He notices that you’re a little off, but he can’t quite figure out why. Headache? Didn’t sleep well? He’s the most likely to wait for you to bring it up. He’ll ask if you’re feeling okay, but for the most part, the ball is in your court. If your distress persists for more than a day or two, though, he’s not above cornering you and asking what’s up.

He’s really ticked that they’re trying to get back into your life after you clearly cut them out. Like, seriously? You were so clear about it the first time, and this just goes to show that they haven’t changed at all. You’re in the right here: They don’t deserve you. He’ll 100% back you up regarding your experiences, and he’s not gonna let you feel guilty over what THEY put you through. He’s a great person to vent to, honestly. All feelings of doubt, that maybe things weren’t as bad as you thought, practically disappear when you talk to him. He’s so supportive of you and your recovery.

Look it might not be the smartest choice, but if you wanna let him email them or something, he totally will. You think he’d make some incredible, eloquent, heartfelt speech that tricks them out of ever trying to talk to you again but… he doesn’t do that. He’s not above snapping at them. But he just loves you a lot, and he really fucking hates all of the shit that your parent put you through. You’re such a good person, and you’ve done such an incredible job recovering! He just wants you to be happy.

It’s self care time. He takes more time out of the day to do little things for you. He knows that this isn’t an issue that can be solved in a day, so he just wants to do all that he can to make every day a little more bearable. If he can get you to smile, he’s succeeded.

Michelangelo

He’s observant, although not as much as Leo. Luckily, he’s not above just straight-up asking what’s bothering you. Communication is key, after all. He’s an awesome listener, and he’ll throw in his own comments here and there. Like yeah, no, babe they were really shitty to you, you totally have the right to feel the way that you do!

He’s really proud of you for setting your boundaries the first time! Cutting toxic people out of your life is really, really difficult. But unfortunately, manipulators will always try and come back into your life. That’s what they do, and it hurts so much, but that’s just… what they do. You don’t have to take that laying down though! Every time they try and push you to let them back in… you have to push them away twice as hard. Like, you’re so strong! And you deserve the absolute best things that this world has to offer.

Probably the only one who won’t offer to write to them for you. This is something that you have to do yourself, if you really want to be content with the situation. Although if they start harassing you, he’ll 100% call them/answer the phone to tell them to stop fucking calling.

Ever try making Uum Ali? He hasn’t! Let’s try it! He’s gonna go all out with fun activities and sweet self care ideas. Anything to see that smile again.

#rottmnt x reader #rottmnt imagine #tmnt imagine #TMNT x reader #rottmnt raphael x reader #rottmnt michelangelo x reader #rottmnt Donatello x reader #rottmnt leonardo x reader #tmnt leonardo x reader #tmnt michelangelo x reader #tmnt raphael x reader #tmnt donatello x reader

220 notes · View notes

tartagliaxx · 3 years

Note

hi lei!! what are you up to? :3 its early and no one else is awake i'm thinking about treating myself to a muffin i'm sick of the limits of the human body like what do you mean i get tired, hungry, and headaches OTL i wish i could just evolve to experience none of those and i wouldn't be in the 80 percent of the situations i'm in daily

in genshin i fully finished the event and got the namecard usually events are too hard for me and i get bored and never get the namecard while i didn't love the event it was fun and easy also not to brag but i'm pretty good and didn't have to watch youtube videos to help me ;)/lh my fav events are ones that have a storyline with cutscenes it haunts me daily that i missed out on so many because i wasn't playing at the time i missed the lantern rite, the one with albedo and the other one with mona, fyshl and scaramouche 🧎‍♀️i've watched other people play so i know what happens in all of them but i won't be able to experience them firsthand oh to experience albedo's smug face in his event hes so pretty and seeing him be all disinterested was kinda 😳😳 i can't ever see him acting that way with his lover though he would def hang on to every word they say- 🍰

im eating mcdonald’s rn lol. if ur looking for a sign to convince u to eat a muffin, this is it. go get urself a muffin boo! i get what u mean but at the same, that first glass of ice cold water when ur incredibly dehydrated is *mwah* headaches can go suck my d tho. not having any of of that shit.

i got the namecard too! i only did one game bc for some reason, the people i played w were horrible and i caught them in like a minute. i only missed the scaramona + fischl event but thats the one i wanted to play the most :(( its just vv different when ur playing it yourself as opposed to watching other people do it. that albedo... i dream abt that albedo at night. if for some reason, albedo decided to take someone as a lover, that would mean a lot and he would deffo want to explore every inch of them and what better way to do that than listen?

#lei.answers #withlove.🍰

2 notes · View notes

shaechans · 3 years

Text

ask game!!

the answers are under the cut in case it goes too long hehe

Last Song You Listened To?

from home by nct

Relationship Status.

single!!

Did You Wake Up Cranky?

no in fact i woke in a really good mood cause i didn’t have school lmao

How Many Followers?

426 holy shit thank you

Take A Vitamin Daily?

nope

Do You Sing In The Shower?

of course. but sometimes i just think of shower thoughts

What Books Are You Reading?

started the hunger games series recently

Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

“information technology (IT) is the study of design, development, implementation, support or management of computer based information” that’s my sisters’ 8th grade social textbook lols

Favourite Anime?

death note (thats the only ive watched so far, gonna start haikyuu soon)

Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom sigh i cried cause of this terrible headache i had and couldn’t handle anymore

Do You Collect Anything?

...albums?

What Did You Have For Lunch?

fish curry and fish fry yum

Do You Dance In The Car?

more like sing than dance but then again, it depends on the song and the mood im in

Do You Watch The Olympics?

as of now, no but i might have to soon

What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

11pm on school days and 1-2am on weekends

Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

nope

Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

none. i don’t like swimming. but if i chad to choose, pool. i’m thalassophobic

Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

bottled!!!

What Makes You Happy?

making people laugh, the noise of laughter, kpop, and spending time with people i like annoying

Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

with music. but like music i haven’t heard before otherwise i get distracted and sing along

Dogs Or Cats?

dogs!!!!!!!111!!!! but cats have been coming at me recently

If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

ngl red or orange

PlayStation Or Xbox

hmm playstation

Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

lake better than ocean

Do You Believe In Magic?

yesss except black magic that’s bullshit

What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

juniper green

Can You Curl Your Tongue?

yup!

Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

yes my shorts

Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

yes treasure (and superm’s super one album)

Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

noooo they’re scary

Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

yes VERY easily. i’m a trend follower

Do You Have Strange Dreams?

all the time, it’s fun to think about in the morning

Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

oh yesss i love plane rides

Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

peanuts

If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

nct / the 1975

Are You A Picky Eater?

yes, VERY. and i have a small appetite so i can never really eat too much

Do You Like To Read / Write?

hmm write more than read

Do You Like Your Music Loud?

in between. sometimes it depends on my mood. but i’ll often lower the volume than increase

Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

hmmm present wrapping would be fun

What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

it’s the autumn > winter transition

What Are You Craving Right Now?

cookies and french fries:(( even though i ate those an hour ago

Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

lmao my ask and yes i use my laptop so

What Is Your Gender?

female!

Coffee Or Tea?

i don’t mind really but i would prefer coffee over tea

Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

nope but i do have a marketing test on the 29th yikes

Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

yes im tidy like that

Favourite Pokemon?

squirtle and snorlax cuties

Favourite Social Media?

ngl right now really proud of my tumblr. but it’s usually my instagram

What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

i love them

Do You Get Homesick?

YES ALOT, like i feel like that as soon as im out my house for like 5 minutes

Are You A Virgin?

yes and im 15

If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

fuck that motel i’d sleep in the car wtf

Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

yes<3

Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

hmm i don’t really yet

Do You Miss Your Ex?

don’t have one woohoo

What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

if beyonce can forgive jayz, i can forgive you ~ kevin moon

Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

the swings were are my favourite on the playground. i LOVE going on them and will fight 5 year olds to sit on one >.<

What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

banana

Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

OF COURSE. i would help anyone in need of help, homeless or not, outcast or not. if you wouldn’t please unfollow me thank you

Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

...yes

Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

..........yes

Do You Like Meeting New People?

sometimes yes sometimes no. it depends on the group of people, i’m attracted to lively and playful groups pf people

Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

nopeee

Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

opennnn

What Are Three Things You Did Today?

made myself a sandwich, replayed enhypen’s teaser a billion times and watched nct world’s latest episode

What Do You Wear To Bed?

comfy clothes

List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

none

Are You A Day Or Night Person?

day hmmm what

Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

i.... cannot remember.. i briefly remember this one dream where i, along with a group of people were locked up in this tower thing and it was a test???? and the judge was rain. he trained us for a week or something to rock climbing. and then i remember sunwoo helping me win when he was in the opposite team and he was about to kiss me woop but i fell.. and suddenly i was running away in a getaway car there were sirens in the beat of your heart kjakjahsj and then i woke up whew

Favourite Soda Drink?

ginger ale

Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

jeans

How Do You Look Right Now?

face oily, neck sore and eyes falling woooo

Name Something That Relaxes You

this playlist

What Tattoo Do You Want?

lowkey want a mmdiii (2503) or Yea, Simon says Hurry up 거리에 널린 flat hoop들 멈춘 순간 널 향해 조준 다 쏜다Hands up 뒤돌아 Hands up 흔들어 숨이 가득 차도 여기 법 계속 달려왜 또 눈치만 보고 서있나 우두커니 왜 또 겁먹은 표정을 짓나 이걸 원해?주문을 외워 I'm God 너희를 홀려 like wow NCT we all so sexy NCT noise you can't break me 누가 날 욕해 who Bless me achoo Simon says be cool Don't be such a fool Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 필요 없어 그딴 말말말말말 We don't pay no mind mind mind mind mind Yo 꽉 막힌 차 사이로 길을 여는 siren 니 맘에 그 체증을 밤새 뚫고 달려누구보다 빨라 전부 뒤에 가있어 거침없어 모든 건 내게 달려Eh 점점 분위기는 high high high high 우릴 막는 소린 bye bye bye bye 신경 다 끄고 놀아 밤새 누가 뭐라 하든 상관 안 해주문을 외워 I'm God 너희를 홀려 like wow NCT we all so sexy NCT noise you can't break me 누가 날 욕해 who Bless me achoo Simon says be cool Don't be such a fool Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 필요 없어 그딴 말말말말말 We don't pay no mind mind mind mind mind두려워하지마 널 막는 건 너 일 뿐 yeah 착각하지마 우린 오늘 break the rules 눈을 뜨고 깨어나 이 순간 깊숙이 빠져들어가 현실과 꿈의 사이 진짜 널 찾는 그 순간Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (aye, real vibe killer) Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (aye, real vibe killer) 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 필요 없어 그딴 말말말말말 We don't pay no mind mind mind mind mind We don't pay no attention but i don’t maybe the mmdiii.

whew that was a long one...kudos to whoever read all this bullshit

#mes time #games #ask

2 notes · View notes

sakuhai · 4 years

Text

My opinion on the scene where Riki masturbated looking at a naked female is not as simple as "haha yeah Riki is just bis*xual"

There are other ways to see and analyze that.

So imo Riki is a pervert and a hypocrite from that scene,and I do believe that was the author's intention by writing that scene.

Watching fetish s*x slave p*rn is one thing and it isn't bad if its just fake.

But when sb is watching that kind of content knowing all too well that all the people shown naked and performing in s*x acts are all underage and real s*x slaves who are mentally challenged (the pets were all under 18 yo and they had the iq of a radish) that makes it more serious and totally disgusting.

Especially for Riki who knew those facts all too well and claimed to be sick to his stomach by all the abuse and immorality.

And he supposedly hated the pets and though of them as lowlifes and didnt want anything to do with them.

Yet he used that kind of "sick" p*rn to relief himself...

The irony...

On the other hand ppl may claim that Riki couldn't help it because he was trained to be hypersexual at that point...

But I see it more as Riki just eating where he takes a shit kind of a case.

And after that he even f*cked a bitch which again according to Riki was something he never wanted to do that's why he tolerated s*x with Iason...

As for why Iason beat the shit out of Riki after interrupting his masturbation session...that can also be seen from another point of view and analyzed in a more complicated way than just "haha Iason must had been hella jealous!"

Iason could had just been pissed off because Riki had excluded him from the fun and also Riki always dared to nag him so much when Iason actually let Riki have s*xual contact with Daryl.

Riki had s*x on the daily with 2 people and he always complained about it causing ppl headache yet here he is j*rking off to some bitch!

Thats a reason to be pissed off with how greedy and ungrateful the mongrel was!

Also there are plenty of different types of jealousy and it doesn't always implicate love interest.

Iason just saw Riki as a toy he played with daily and then literally threw it in a corner.Once he saw someone else picking up that toy he got mad as a child and he claimed it back.

Thats how I see it.

#ai no kusabi #ank #hot take #my posts

17 notes · View notes

pika1043 · 6 years

Text

Get to Know The Blogger

I’ve been tagged by @soft-as-candlelight :0

I’ll tag different people for this, if they want to! :) @roskiiart @peachpiecobbler @alphonseania @aries-sama

what is your relationship status?: Singular! *Shrug*

describe your personality in 3 words or less: Quiet, Kind, Creative

where do you shop for food?: Weis

where do you shop for video games?: Gamestop!

where do you shop for fashion?: Forever 21 buuuuuuuuuut I like FYE better

favourite snapchat filter?: I don’t have a snapchat so none

favourite makeup brand(s): I don’t have one of those either.

do you go to the gym? Unless you count the gym class in school, then no

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?: Probably 20 bucks?

whats the worst thing you have ever done at school or at work?: Probably the one time in like... The 3rd grade where I tripped the kid that wouldn’t stop talking and he fell into the coat bin

who is your celebrity crush?: Probably Zendaya

money or brains? Brains

do you have a nickname? what is it?: Elmer!

how many times have you been to the hospital?: I think 3 times. One of them was when I was in Pre-K!

do you take any medications daily? I mean, I get headaches/migraines often, so I do take aspirin a lot.

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc): Soft! I’m a squishy!

what is your biggest fear?: Loneliness!

how many kids do you want?: 2 or 3

who is your role model?: My dad! (Besides some fictional characters)

what was the last compliment you received? “can I just say I love your blog and the cc stuff you reblog is TOP NOTCH,,, all your tags are so nice wtf...” (This anon is so nice and I’ll answer soon!)

what was the last text you sent? “But yeah, my left headphone broke xP”

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?: Nope, my mom does that sometimes

have you ever peed in the woods?: Nope

do you still watch cartoons?: Yes.

Favourite dipping sauce?: Ketchup (I’m not big on dipping sauce)

tea or coffee?: Tea!

Subway or Greggs?? Subway!

do you believe in ghosts? Oh yeah!

have you ever been high? Nope!

have you ever been drunk? I don’t drink sooooooooo nope!

last thing you ate? Nutty Bars!

day or night? Day!

What is the movie you are ashamed to love?: Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Do you keep secrets?: Not really

Favourite cartoon?: A LOT. Probably Gravity Falls if I had to pick one (And not counting Camp Camp)

How long have you been on tumblr?: Since 2014, I think

Give an embarrassing moment of your life: One time I was waiting in line to go into Reaper’s Revenge and I needed to rest my legs (I hurt my left leg the previous year). I go to put my hand on the tree to take the pressure off my leg and the tree was STICKY. My hand was all sticky because of the tree and I rubbed it on my pants. I had a sticky spot on my pants for the rest of the night.

Are you a morning or night person? Night, I get drowsy in the morning.

Rant about thats eating you up: WHAT DO THEY MEAN BY HE MADE HIS BROTHER DISAPPEAR. Was the bro older, younger, twin? Abusive? Curious? Accident? On purpose? Was it a ‘vanishing twin’ sort of deal? Is he being blamed? THERE ARE SO MANY VARIABLES.

A crossover between two shows (any shows) you would like to see? Camp Camp and RWBY. That would be FUN.

Name three people of your same sex you would: marry,kiss and fuck: I’m not sure if anyone would like it if I did answer this one.

What was your favourite food when you were a child?: BEEF RAVIOLI

Do you like getting hickeys?: I’ve never had one but I think it would be annoying to have

Would you ever skinny dip?: Nope!

Did you go out or stay in last night? In, I was eating candy!

#WHAT DO THEY MEAN #Pika Answers

2 notes · View notes

undeademoprincess · 7 years

Text

82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by @hoseokjinns bruh this has been sitting in my drafts for how many eons????

name: Dawn blood type: b nickname(s): Celeste (cousins mainly) and then anything else is adding an e or i sound to the end of my name (tho i have noticed dawners is a frequent name) r/s: dead inside zodiac sign: libruh pronouns: she\her favorite tv shows: dude, i havent seen any tv shows since i was 8, that was well over a decade ago. i collect the dvd/blurays of tv shows but not often. my mother and i are really into futurama but other than that its usually animes that i collect long or short hair: literally lopped my hair off myself like 3 days ago height: 5′5″ do you have a crush on someone: if fictional characters count then yes, the husband list keeps growing and i need another closet to shove them in but real life im fighting a “battle” what do you like about yourself: i have yet to be called annoying or that im an ass to those i love and i support them with all i can, so ive got that going for me right or left handed: right, tho i am ambidextrous over weird ass shit. like gymnastics im left dominate in??? idfk either man list of three favourite colors: literally any color associated with fall/autumn and ill be a happy camper

right now: eating: just ate a cracker that had peanut butter on it cause im munchin hard drinking: sweet h2o man i’m about to: probably go to bed or i might work on my drafts for my writing blog, havent decided yet listening to: a mix about cats, love, breakfast and being tired by in love with a ghost (on youtube) kids: hell no, unless i know i can support the damn thing with all i can while living comfortably along with someone i KNOW wont leave both me and the kid and help me then maybe, but its still a really strong no. pets are fam tho, so technically i have like 5 kids already get married: down for that, annoying someone all the time as a “job” sounds fun, especially if we get late night adventures and do weird ass cooking class shit for fun. ITS IN THE CONTRACT YA KNOW career: i really want to travel the world and get paid to do so, but at my own pace

most recent: drink: water????? idk what you want from me man im a thirsty hoe for livin phone call: been on discord all day today with 2 of my best friends and listening to music with my bot the other half on it song you listened to: lauv reforget (literally just came on)

have you ever: dated someone twice: no been cheated on: nope, and im not the type to let them get away with it if they ever did kissed someone and regretted it: no lost someone special: yes been depressed: yes, began at a very young age due to the death of my father. literally had a midlife crisis when i was 4 cause of his death been drunk and thrown up: hell no kissed a stranger: no had glasses or contacts: glasses had sex on the first date: no, not really my thing broken someone’s heart: i think so, never really ask how they felt about it afterwards turned someone down: yuuuup cried when someone died: yes fallen for a friend: mmmmm, not really??? i usually crush on an acquaintance and my friends drag them in and somehow become friends later???

in the last year have you: made a new friend: uuuuuh, maybe 3??? i dont like leaving my house nor do i like wasting my time on strangers, especially if theyre rude fallen out of love: yeah laughed until you cried: many times, MANY FUCKING TIMES met someone who changed you: uh, i think so??? idk, i kinda find my own flow in life and people either respect it and enjoy the ride with me or fight it, and i dont have the energy to deal with pointless shit found out who your true friends were: ooooh yeah found out someone was talking about you: humans talk, its natural. i dont really do anything but i can see why someone WOULD talk shit if thats what this is asking about kissed someone on your fb list: ew no

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: hugs, i like being warm shorter or taller: both have pros and cons romantic or spontaneous: both? both sensitive or loud: idk what the fuck this is asking about but if its about being around people who are loud or sensitive then neither, im sensitive to headaches so loud people irritate me and trigger the pain and ive had bad experiences in person with sensitive people where they dont leave me alone and wind up stalking me???? i love being alone so neither hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: one can be kinda fun but also a pain in the ass if they get you into trouble a lot and the other might not be as constantly fun per say but at least you shouldnt be in trouble as often

first: best friend: Samantha surgery: thankfully nothing yet sport i joined: badminton vacation: everything my parents did was while i was literally an infant soooooo yeah, greaaaaat memories

do you believe in: yourself: not all the time, but i rely on myself more than anyone else. i dont trust anyone for shit when i know damn well i can do it myself and know that if something goes wrong i myself fucked it up and can probably fix my mistake miracles: yes and no, i believe theres a reason for things to happen the way they do, and there are times i see it as miracles love at first sight: i believe in attraction at first sight, not immediately seeing someone soul or some shit heaven: im more for reincarnation and spiritual aspects in life and death

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: 90% of them do you have any pets: im not counting my outside pets because there are too many to even keep track of to count so my children are 5 cats, toto my conure, oz my dog, tubby my gecko, and a beta fish and a catfish do you want to change your name: if i ever did, which i dont want to do, it’d be either Celeste or Aurora (my mom actually debated on calling me aurora after like the disney princess if you will and funny enough shes always been my favorite princess) what did you do for your last birthday: 2 of my friends kidnapped me and took me to dinner and we drove around and looked at interesting things. this years its during ren faire and im so damn happy what time did you wake up today: 9 pm. im sick atm and its really fucking up my sleep schedule what were you doing last night at midnight: just got out of a call with one of my best friends and sat on my own server for a bit chillin with my music bot before my other best friend joined my after like SIX HOURS, DAMN YOU SIMON something you can’t wait for: ren faire, getting married cause then i get to sweater slap someone and get away with it, and being comfortably happy in life last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago? i went to the kitchen to get my cat to love on her and saw her then what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i had more determination to see things through and not be scared to take the leaps to see it through have you ever talked to a person named tom: i worked in retail, so probably what’s getting on your nerves: a lot of things, mainly petty things. kinda wanna cut a toxic person out of my life but we all know thats easier said than done especially seeing how he talks to literally all of the people i talk with on a daily basis save one soul and he treated her like shit when he talked to her sooo yeah, dunno wtf is his problem but im tired of being the object of his frustration and anger, idk how the rest of my friends deal with his shit but im just so damn DONE

man im not taggin 25 people. if youd like to tag me as a “i found it from so and so” then go for it man, let youre dreams run free friend. im just a lazy sack of shit and am tired and im amazed im still up and that its TAKEN ME A MILLION DAMN YEARS TO DO THIS IM SO SORRY LEANNE

#my post #tagging meme

1 note · View note

onehellofan-undertaker · 7 years

Note

So happy to see the ask box open~! I had a few questions for you~! (I HOPE THATS OKAY!! D;) • Favorite thing(s) about Undertaker? • Least favorite character and why? • If you could meet any Kuroshitsuji character, how would you spend your day? Oh god, I have so many questions, but honestly, I'd love to hear from you and what your opinions are Cx your opinions matter too~! (If you had anymore Undy headcannons, I'd love to read them 🤤❤) Have a great night/day! ^^

Also, I’d love to talk about Undertaker ^^ do you have any canons on his daily routines (morning, day, afternoon, night), how he relaxes, if he were to get drunk (omg, the possibilities ;A;); I could go on, and on..!! Oh my god!!! Friendship between Undertaker and Othello?!? I ship their friendship- or rather alliances, either way, I ship it~! I’d love to get your feedback

Ahh this is so nice!! And yes the ask box and my messages are always open for anyone who wants to ask something or just drop by and chat about anything, so please don’t be shy!

Favorite thing(s) about Undertaker?

All in all I don’t think theres anything I don’t like about Undertaker? Everything about him as a character is completely enthralling to me. And even his defects seem to make him even more interesting. How smug he is and how he thinks he can just do as he pleases (e.g. Messing with life and death and playing god), and the way he’s arrogan in his own way.

The Undertaker has proven himself to be quite the manipulative character, and that being paired with someone who is as smart and intelligent as he is, could have interesting effects. You have no idea how proud I was during the Weston arc when he’s just released his bizarre dolls on Ciel and the rest of the P4. He’s standing on the wall and Ciel orders Sebastian to get him, but both Undertaker and Sebastian know that if he were to go after him instead of Ciel, his soul would be in danger. Sebastian is used to be the one outsmarting people, so it felt nice to know that The Undertaker was the one to remind him that it’s not always like that.

Another thing that I really like about him is how well he’s able to disguise himself and keep himself out of suspicion. He’s been by Ciel’s side for the longest time, until we find put that he actually wasn’t. We know that Ciel has come to him for information for a very long time, as did his father before him and we also know that he’s been collecting things from his “guests”, which is how he realised that Jack the Ripper’s victims were all missing the uterus in the first place. Now, how would he have realised that all of these guests were missing the uterus had he not been looking for them? Maybe he just stumbled across the fact, but I highly doubt it. Now this just means that he has been working on his bizarre dolls for some time now–at least since the Jack the Ripper arc, but I don’t think so.

During the Campania arc, there were hundreds (and maybe even thousands) of dolls aboard that boat. Now we know that he used Ryan to help him get his work done in time, but how much time could it have taken him to make just one doll? Let alone thousands. Even if he were able to make one doll each day, it would’ve taken him years before he managed to make that many, especially considering the time it probably took him to gather all of the materials necessary, then stitching the corpse up, and then making sure it moved and work. How many failures were there before he managed to make one that worked the way he wanted it to work? And then make one after another the same way as that one? And on top of that he knew exactly why they went after humans when they were released, that must’ve taken some time to decipher, considering that they don’t really seem to go after him, so he must’ve convinced or taken and used other people to see what it was that made them violent towards them. Plus the amount of time it took for him to find a way to hide the dolls and make them hide until he said they could come out and attack? Or make like a timer for them. And then Johann and Derrick? How long did it take for him to teach them to talk and form coherent words? Especially Johann, who, as he said, was his masterpiece. Somehow he managed to keep him in line, teaching him to talk and restrain himself from attacking people even when he wasn’t there, or when the rest of his dolls have already started attacking.

Where I’m going with this is that he has been doing this for years, he might have been doing this since before he met Vincent and Claudia, and he kept them from finding out, when they’re the Queen’s Fucking Guard Dogs? How did he manage this? I mean it’s not like it’s a little insignificant secret. Ciel doubted his own aunt and one of his last living relatives when it came to murders, but when the Undertaker showed up in the Campania and claimed that he was there because the hospital was a regular of his (though it wasn’t completely a lie) he didn’t even question it, even when the corpses started moving and Undertaker seemed to actually know what was happening, not for a second did he actually think it was going to be him, even though he knew that he took parts out of corpses he worked on for a living.

So, as we can see, he’s smart, highly intelligent, very manipulative, dedicated, he can play his cards right, he can earn people’s complete trust, and he could totally beat your ass, those are probably my favourite things if I had to point out a few.

Least favorite character and why?

Viscount Druitt. I mean, he thinks its okay to flirt with a 13 y/o? No, it’s not okay. And after that it turns out that he “only did it because he was going to auction her off”? As if human trafficking made this any better. And then it turns out he’s still fantasising about Ciel? Gross? I get a shiver down my spine whenever I think about that. I don’t think I have to keep going on why he’s probably the most disgusting character in all of Kuroshitsuji.

If you could meet any Kuroshitsuji character, how would you spend your day?

The obvious answer would be Undertaker, but for the sake of variety, I’ll say Ronald. Because Ronald seems to be the kind of person that’s just really easy to talk to and he’d probably be up to do anything, and if I could only get one day to spend with anyone, I’d want it to be something fun, like maybe an amusement park because I feel like that’s such an easy way to get to know someone and get comfortable with them.

Head canons on his daily routines (morning, day, afternoon, night)?

He should probably get up early in the mornings but, he doesn’t do that. He doesn’t sleep in either, but he probably wakes up at nine or ten when he should be waking up at five or six in the morning. He’ll wipe his eyes and check to see how tangled his hair got during the night before going to brush his teeth. He’ll get some breakfast then and put some clothes on to start working on whatever customers that have to get done before he opens the shop.

He just wants to get his work done as soon as possible, so he can take a break and maybe work on his dolls. And, since he considers that to also be part of his work (not that he complains, he loves being the Undertaker and messing with the balance of things), during his free-free time he’ll pace around his place and shop looking for something to do, and end up taking a walk, somewhere quiet and relax, or read a book, but I feel like he rarely have any free time.

He doesn’t really has a set time that he goes to sleep, but it’s at around 10 or 11 pm on a good day (sometimes he’ll go to sleep at 3am or just not at all). Before he goes to sleep, he likes to shower off all of the grime of the day, taking his time and just standing under the water doing nothing at all but relax under the water. By the time he comes out and dries off and gets into bed its been about forty minutes, but he eventually stops tossing and turning, and he falls asleep.

How he relaxes?

He likes taking a walk, somewhere where there’s no people, he can take his time and take in his surroundings and finally stopping somewhere he can sit and just close his eyes and take a nap, wether that’s a big field, in front of a lake or river or the ocean or even the graveyard at night. Where he can look up at the sky and be alone with his thoughts, no matter how loud or quiet they might be.

If he were to get drunk.

He doesn’t really get drunk often, and not because he doesn’t like drinking, but because when he wakes up the next morning he always has the worst hangover, and he knows better than to try to work through a headache. So he always does his best not to drink more than he should. Of course, this doesn’t mean he never gets drunk. When he gets drunk he doesn’t really act that much different at first, maybe he’ll get a little bit more quiet than usual if he’s with a big crowd of people (or just more than one person) and squint intensely at something before he suddenly bursts out and says something really weird and/or deep that has absolutely nothing to do with whats happening with the conversation, and that’s the first sign. The second sign is when he gets super giggly, and I mean, while he might normally be a bit giggly, he’ll just be three times as giggly, and he’ll just chime in on the conversation and be really loud and say ridiculous and somewhat incoherent things, he’ll slur his words a bit but he still always does his best not to, just to get what he’s trying to say across. I’d say that if someone who didn’t know him to well wouldn’t notice (at first) how drunk he really is.

He’d also look for some kind of physical contact if his S/O is there, nothing sexual, but maybe he’d want to hold their hand or hold them uncomfortably close and throw his arm around their shoulder, and when he tries to whisper something to them like “You’re so cute, you know that?” or “Can you teach me how to cook that thing you make thats just like a big ginormous taco-sandwich with ground meat inside of it when we get home?” he’ll burp halfway through his sentence, saying a sorry, and that should be your queue to stop him from drinking another drop of anything and take him home, give him some water and get him into bed. He might not want to go to sleep or drink anything else that’s not liquor that you try to give him, so you’ll have to be persuasive if you don’t want him to wake up in a terrible mood the next morning.

Relationship between him and Othello?

Well, Othello is a very new and very interesting character! I can honestly say that when he was first introduced to us I’d gotten a certain impression, but in the past few chapters he’s sort of changed from what kind of character I expected him to be, which I find very intriguing, since he’s so much more different than what I’d imagined he’d be like.

As for his relationship with Undertaker, I don’t think I can be (or want to be) 100% sure of anything just yet, but I don’t think my ideas differ much from everyone else’s.

He and Undertaker seem to have very similar interests, so it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if they were working together and Otto was leaking information directly from the dispatch and to him. Othello appeared very suddenly and very mysteriously, and the way he talks about what he’s doing there is very cryptic, so if Undertaker were to pop out of nowhere towards the end of this chapter and Othello were to join him, It wouldn’t come to me as a surprise. But what makes me doubt their alliance if only a little bit is that, why would Othello and Undertaker reveal their alliance now of all times? Why now and not later? What would they gain from this? (Now this is just supposing they are working together).

First, let’s talk about Undertaker, we don’t know what his ultimate goal is, not really, because, sure, he wants the dead to evolve, he wants to bring the dead back to life and so on and so forth, but why? To bring the Phantomhives back? Or is there more than that? We’re not sure yet, so what does Othello do to help him? (And what would Othello gain? To make an alliance then both people need to have similar goals and they both have to gain something from helping the other). Most probably he’s leaking information directly from the reaper dispatch to him to help him achieve this goal, so it would make much more sense for the two to keep their alive a secret as long as possible, even if they’re ready to put the plan into action or whatever, and the only logical answer to “Why would they reveal their alliance now?” is that they’ve already gathered all of the information they needed to succeed in achieving their goal, but even then why would Othello risk deserting the dispatch, there’s always a chance that their plan could fail, and then what would Othello do? Since Undertaker probably wouldn’t care. This doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me, but they could have a reason:

It was imperative that Othello left, wether it was because dangerous for him to stay or something else, I don’t know, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Undertaker convinced him to leave, or manipulated him into deserting along with him and Othello did, (but why? If he’s only using Othello, then he’s of much more use to him in the dispatch)

Othello himself made the decision to desert, and that also wouldn’t surprise me, since there’s been a lot of talk about deserters and their reasons lately

Or, we just ignore everything I have previously said and Othello isn’t working with im at all and/or it won’t be revealed until later in the story.

Either way, I feel like they’re characters that compliment each other very nicely, so I do hope we get to see them interact.

#undertaker #Replies #I am so sorry this just turned into an enormous rant #feel free to stop by my inbox or message me any time!!#they're always open #Othello #Viscount Druitt #Ronald #long reads #REALLY. LONG. POST

35 notes · View notes

aquarterasian · 7 years

Note

Top 5 members of Aqours.

5. Yohane/Yoshiko whatever you want to call her. A big reason I love her is because my middle name is Yoshiko so… But I think she’s a really fun character and I think she’s great.

4. Riko. Man she’s just great. She’s such an interesting character and I loved watching her interactions with the rest of the group, I’m excited to see more of her in season 2.

3. Kanan. I feel like shes the mom of the group, and I always love characters like that. I imagine dealing with everyone could be quite the headache.

2. Hanamaru. I can relate to her because, I, too, am a bookworm. I don’t end my sentences with ‘zura’ though, but I love that she does. I think its one of my favorite things about her, that, and her fascination with modern technology.

1. You! Honestly, I have so much respect for her, dealing with Chika on a daily basis, thats got to be exhausting. Her interest in fashion is always great, and the clothes she makes for the group are great. Not to mention, shes adorable.

#asks

1 note · View note

inadeepanddarkdecember · 7 years

Text

[[ this is kinda rambly and piecemeal and out of order since its an edited convo off of discord from before cy’s heart got replaced, but i decided i wanted this Extra Large thalassemia infodump on my blog. go read this primer first for basic info on thal; cyrus’s form is beta thalassemia major. ]]

even with a perfectly healthy and functional heart, cy'd still have a too fast pulse and likely have arrhythmias; that comes with the territory of his anemia, and he could still develop heart failure again later in life. the problem with cy's current heart is that its been scarred to shit by the extra iron in his body from his blood transfusions and hes developed cardiomyopathy as a result, which at this point is virtually guaranteed to kill him before he turns 30, even if he takes perfect care of himself and never develops any other complications from his thalassemia ever (which aint fuckin likely). this failing heart just deals worse with arrhythmias he already has, especially under stress, and already struggles to keep up enough blood pressure.

bone marrow transplants are currently the closest thing to a cure for thalassemia we have and hellll no he has not had that done i doubt hes even on a waiting list. with his shit in the state hes in, its questionable if he'd even survive the process its pretty intense, nevermind the finances and healing and finding a match and even so much as qualifying to have it done.

cyrus goes in for a blood transfusion every three weeks. when transfusion dates get close, within a few days, hes more tired; he doesnt go out; he can be moodier; he can get headaches and dizzy spells. he feels best after a transfusion, then its just a slow decline till the date rolls around again. i tend to rp him within a week or two of being transfused most of the time simply bc its easier to get him out there interacting with people.

sometimes they coincide with transfusion dates, sometimes they don't, but he has longer appointments to check up on his other bodily functions every so often. theres general stuff, looking at his counts, then more specialized appointments to keep an eye specifically on his heart or check up on his liver and other organs as needed.

thalassemia by itself kills a person through not having enough blood to get oxygen around the body; this is solved through blood transfusions. chronic anemia means chronic transfusions. which would be fine! except chronic transfusions cause a build-up of iron in the body, and that shit is toxic and where the more fatal complications tend to stem from for thalassemia patients. also, being anemic means your body thinks it needs iron, so it's prone to absorb more from food than the average person, an added bonus. consequently, there are certain foods cyrus avoids. legumes, dark leafy greens, etc. look up any list of iron-rich foods, and thats a list of shit cyrus ought to be avoiding or indulging rarely. (funnily enough, these lists also are often advertised towards anemic people because those who arent transfused have the opposite problem.) part of his tea drinking habit is because tea inhibits iron absorption, along with he just likes it. coffee works too and he doesnt object to it, but he prefers tea.

another consequence of chronic transfusions is that you end up with a lot of old shitty dead blood cells in your system, and your spleen is left to clean it up. unfortunately, when faced with that much to clean, it can enlarge (splenomegaly) and become overactive (hypersplenism). so it starts removing healthy blood cells too quickly and too early, which can cause the anemic patient to need more blood when being transfused, which risks more iron, and not to mention its generally uncomfortable for the patient with the enlarged spleen. in short, this happened to cyrus, so his spleen has been removed. spleens, however, also play an important role in the immune system, so he was already kinda vulnerable as an anemic, but having no spleen makes him doubly at risk of infections. he takes antibiotics as part of his daily pharmaceutical regime.

during cold and flu season, docs tend to strongly suggest he wear surgical masks during school and whenever hes around a lot of people in public places, but he almost never does. he doesnt like the attention it gets him esp in school, but sometimes he'll do it when hes on public transit or anything. he does carry hand sanitizer with him a lot of the time tho

bc his immune system is fragile, he often goes in-patient for what would be minor sicknesses for us, esp if theres a fever. he tends to be hit hard by them, and being sick can make his counts plummet as his body tries to fight off the disease.

coming back around to iron related bullshit, iron overload is treated by iron chelation, for which there are mainly two medicines, deferoxamine and deferasirox, and cyrus uses the latter because i have never been able to find out enough goddamn information about deferoxamine. deferoxamine is the more common and cheaper of the two medicines; its injected subcutaneously over the course of 8-12 hours and has its own list of side effects and the process itself tends to be kinda painful from the accounts ive read. its done at home, often while the patient sleeps bc... well, when else are you gonna get a child to sit still for 8-12 hours. its definitely the one cyrus was on for a while, when he was younger. bc ive had a hellish time finding info on the pump used for deferoxamine and more about that medicine generally, cy’s currently on deferasirox. slightly different side effects, but otherwise does the same job in pill form.

thalassemia patients who've been cared for properly should be healthier than cyrus is. most patients his age havent had a heart attack already and arent dealing with heart failure, not yet. his parents have always struggled financially to keep up with his medical bills, but there was a time when he was still young that they still thought they could manage if they just worked hard enough. they were too proud to accept help, and he suffered for it. they eventually gave in but even then still struggled to keep up. sometimes a sudden unexpected change in insurance policy would fuck em for a while finanacially. so sometimes they'd not fill a perscription for a while or wait longer than they should to take him in-patient, hoping he might just tough out a cold or smth. sometimes he'd manage to do that and have abysmal blood counts next time he went in, and a couple of times he got so sick he was legit on death's doorstep by the time he got to the hospital and needed way longer to recover. sometimes cyrus would be too fussy about the deferoxamine and they didnt have the energy that night to force him to accept it or he'd turn off the machine himself after they left. not too often, he was pretty good about just accepting it and did most of the time, but it def happened more than a few times. and if it had already been activated, they couldnt reuse it and had to throw the dose out, in which case that was it he skips it no replacement they cant afford it not in the budget.

and because the effects of iron overload are long-term ones for the most part, it was easy to be like "ehh he seems fine for now". like, they knew the risks, but it was hard to see them as anything but so far in the distance as to be irrelevant. cyrus himself isnt great about the whole self-care thing either; his depression has helped nothing. he's been known to just flush or toss pills in a small spiteful act of rebellion, all his parents care about is that hes still alive and their money, and medicine's expensive, so wouldnt it just piss em off to throw it all away. he'll eat foods he shouldnt for similar reasons, along with just the pleasure of it. and sometimes he hits the sort of suicidal low where he just.... doesnt see the point. each dose he takes is a choice to keep living, and sometimes that choice isnt one he wants to make.

no one quite realized how bad he was tho till his first heart attack. he was so young; the docs dont rly know when hes skipping, so they werent watching too closely for the effects of it. and the damage his body took over time was amplified by his frequent stress. the heart and liver are the ones most affected by iron overload; his liver is somewhat damaged too, but thats not too bad yet, not as bad as his heart.

other little thal things: hormone levels can get super fucked. cy's puberty was a bit delayed, and his testosterone levels remain kinda low compared to average, so hes not as hairy as his genetics might otherwise dictate. he will never be able to grow a proper beard; it'll always be way too patchy and uneven. and despite what his touch aversion and other factors like stress and said low testosterone might lead you to believe, hes got a pretty strong sex drive, though he suppresses the hell out of it.

he was homeschooled for his first few years of elementary bc health concerns, but that couldnt be sustained bc of cost. so he rejoined public school since then. i wouldnt be surprised if his peers used his puberty delays against him, but i'd expect they were making fun of him less bc he was a late bloomer and more at his general girlishness, esp since this would also be around the time he was growing out his hair.

he has had people do the "lookit me ive befriended the sad disabled kid arent i good <3" schtick (which esp pisses him off bc its similar to shit melinda pulls) and hes met the people who try to be nice to him for three days then turn a 180 on him when he doesnt immediately cheer up and get all buddy buddy with them. and hence he now treats kindness from strangers with extreme skepticism, suspicion, and aggression. (thomas also feeds into this but ye) it scares off plenty of legitimately nice people who he could have befriended, buuut.

Oh, a couple Fun Facts I forgot to mention. bc anemia, he bruises easy and injuries generally take longer than normal to heal. And in part bc depression and in part bc meds are prone to fucking with his appetite, either killing it entirely or just making him nauseated, he tends to not eat enough and is kind of underweight. Melinda put him in charge of dinner most nights as part of a genuine good faith effort to ensure he's getting at least one good meal and get him home when he's supposed to be.

#meta #fun fact #medical #there are so many little ways his disorder has shaped his life #even if they dont appear too obviously when im writing him in actual threads #suicide mention #thalassemia

0 notes

thinktwice222 · 4 years

Text

It’s been a while

And you haven’t changed. Just kidding, I don’t know who you are, so who knows if you have changed or not. Is nothing still nothing, some might presume, yes, in fact it is. Climbing down from my podium now.

What’s up with direct eye contact? Has it ever needed to be a thing?

So anyways, I have been extruding art lately. I was thinking about drawing a little fun glyph. Glyph is not the right word but it seems right. Glyph is representative of an action. At least that’s what I think of in my mind. Have you ever thought about how Egyptian glyphs , well not even, we don’t need to go that far back. The chinese alphabet is much more complex. You know why english sucks? the same 26 letters you use to form all the emotions you can have in the world. Now, you can be as smart as how many words you know to express that rainbow of a personality, or you can rely heavily on tonal changes. implications, sub context, subtext. Whatever it is. You wanna know how to miscommunicate? Speak the English language and have a small daily vocabulary.

That was a weird topic, but on here I try not to limit myself to anything. especially weird rants. I’m really self conscious about my point of view on things, because there is no where to express it or have a valid space to get your brain sorted or work through biased opinions.

Someone the other day was struggling with spelling. I knew where they were at, and still am sheepish when I go to right a word more times than not.. That didn’t stop me from projecting my voice of authority to spell out sandwich, which at one point I definitely had a uphill battle with. I hope they cared more about the figuring of sandwich over my indirect communication of the spelling by spelling out over people. It’s the answer to the question, lets just hope that it was not unacceptable.

I smoked a fair amount again today. Im not sure what a fair amount its, but its when I decide its too much. The highs aren’t that great all the time, and some have made me more than ancy. I’ll probably soon concider the implications of long term smoke and how to make it a viable interaction while I still can enjoy the experience. Or get a bong, jk, I have been reading dan harmon’s saved myspace entries. Its the mid 2000s for more than a few years. He’s really brash, and I’m jealous of his aptness to put whatever he feels, just a straight up journal to people he knows. I want to get there at one point, rip the bandaid off. I don’t want secrets, well, I don’t need them.

Don’t you love when you realize that a shirt of yours has a distinctive smell? like a smell that is super comforting? my shirts like that right now. It’s kind of a salty and sweet smell. Makes me think that maybe if I just swam in the ocean more often (jk again cause I live in Baltimore) that it’d magically turn my anxiety b.o. into something wonderful. I’ll still give it a try at one point.

I can’t wait till I can have an apartment of my own. I would also like a 50 l. bag of salt next to my bath. I would have a tub.

Everyone should write more, meaning I should right more.....write more... my spelling mistakes are funny, usually putting an extra voul, or tradeing some hard or soft concenents. I’m leaving that sentence as is just to give my spelling a good bow. Yes brain, we know that you see spelling as a social construct that encourages policing and gets rid of regional dialect with the over tones of being poor and uneducated. I almost spellchecked my kudos sentence. I should maybe read more, but maybe its tension headaches that keep me away. Well my eyes never want to focus on much.

to smoke or to not smoke. smoke. I got to pack some new stuff in there too. Not sure How discrete I need to be in this day and age but I’m pretty sure I have been open about those habits, or will be at one point in the future.

What else. music session got pushed again. Wednesday now, really I’m over caring and my brain has been able to decide i’d buy a new drum set if anything happen, no problem. I’m glad I have been semi responsible with my money, even though I have been pretty reckless with it. But money is for spending, and I think I have gotten to the point were I am going to have a good understanding of money and its value in my life. but first art. I hate all these big backspaces between the paragraphs, It makes my thoughts, although separate, way to separate. Like English channel separate. Each new paragraph, you get a new country. And new spellings, I don’t like to look up from the keyboard while poking all my keys. My muscle memory will at one point return and maybe Ill just end up typing with my eyes closed. Now wouldn’t that be the absolute dream. communication without having to use your damn eyes, obviously I have a thing against them. I type weird anyways. kinda like some weird long tendrilled vermin. or demon. another sentence full of verbal disbelief, I mean I cant spell at all. People say home keys help but I don’t think that’s the way, every way has the alternative, I need what ever the opposite of home key standard is. The android to the apple. Give me that sweet sweet alternative culture. Is there a style thats good for soul? like you know the music, that style but in expressive dance or gesture...... or typewriting. It’s like how to use a hammer to expediently and save energy, you use your whole arm in the swing, directing with the shoulder. Or how you paint with your whole arm.

New space. new country. I love rambling, maybe this is where my rambles will live. somewhere in the limbo of total existence and lack there of

0 notes