#and i legit had to look up

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[seldompathic]

Too much fear in familiar blue eyes for his liking :((

#sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic art #nine the fox #sonic prime spoilers #sonic prime season 3 spoilers #I AM NOT OKAY #Bro legit had a fucking panic attack for a second there :(( #He didn't know what to DO and that messed me up dude #seeing someone who looks WAY too much like his brother staring up at him with sheer terror HFISNDKWNFJ #FUCK I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS #this season was made for me tho >:)) My specialty is devastated expressions and this baby was FULL OF EM #sonic prime

[bucephaly]

It's kinda shocking to me how few people seem to know how prevalent the 'my great grandmother was cherokee' myth is and how it's almost never actually true, especially when it comes with things like 'never signed up' or 'fell off the trail' or 'courthouse burned down destorying the documentation' etc etc.

People just don't even seem to know the history like.. when the Trail happened. My great great great grandfather was 2 years old during Removal in 1838, so peoples 'my great grandmother hid in the mountains!' is so clearly wrong. And we have rolls. From before and after removal, rolls done by cherokee nation and others by the government, rolls that were not stored in one random flammable courthouse. It's not difficult to find the actual evidence of ancestry.

And just.. there are lots of ways those family stories get started. It was a practice during the confederacy to claim cherokee ancestry to show one's family had 'deep roots in the south' that they were there before the cherokee were removed. Many people pretended to be cherokee and applied for the Guion-Miller payout just to try to steal money meant for cherokees - 2/3rds of the applicants were denied for having 0 proof of actual cherokee ancestry. [We even see lawyers advertising signing up for the Miller roll just to try to get free money.] And the myth even started in some families in the cherokee land lotteries, where the land stolen from us was raffled off, including the house and everything that was left behind when the cherokees were removed. We have seen people whose families just take these things stolen from the cherokee family and adopt them into their own family story, saying that they were cherokee themselves.

If you had some family story about being cherokee and you wanna have proof one way or the other, check out this Facebook group run by expert cherokee genealogists that do research for free. Just please read the rules fully and respect the researchers. They run thousands of people's ancestries a year and their average is only around 0.7% of lines they run actually end up having true cherokee ancestry.

#and ive heard even dumber origins of the cherokee family myth #such as an ancestor having a silly sounding name so the descendents just go 'oh she mustve been an indian!!!' #i was one of the few people who had my ancestry done on the facebook and had genuine cherokee ancestry #[though i had found it before it was just really validating to get it double checked and i started finding cousins (:] #like. i was told once when i was a kid by my grandma that my dad had cherokee ancestry and i didnt believe her. its wild that so many peopl #will make it a Fixture of their identity [or even just smth they bring up ever] with Zero proof #at least for cherokees from what ive seen its usually considered really disrespectful to claim to have cherokee ancestry without #actually having the documentation [like ancestors on the rolls] #and no a dna test doesnt count. nor does 'my dad is Clearly not white!' or 'high cheekbones' or old family photos or anything #i had this discussion with someone recently whose dad had been calling himself 3/4 native but didnt know exactly what nation ???? hello? #and its like... sorry but ur dad is like. italian lol. #[and blood quantum is bullshit anyway im tired of the 'im 1/16 cherokee' comments its dumb #cherokee nation does not have a blood quantum requirement. its pointless bringing it up in the discussion of who is or isnt cherokee] #also mandatory disclaimer that im reconnecting. i didnt grow up connected to the culture of even knowing my ancestry #this is all from my looking into this stuff over the past year or so. i cant claim to be an authority over anything regarding this #this is p much all my repeating things ive heard said by people who know a lot more than i do haha #man. and this isnt even starting to get into the fake tribe stuff. the only legit cherokee groups are the 3 federally recognized bands #cherokee nation of oklahoma. united keetoowah band. and the eastern band of cherokee indians. #any others that are state recognized or not at all arent acknowledged as legitimate by any of the legit cherokee groups #anyway. my final message goodb.ye #cherokee #tsalagi

[littlespoonevan]

i don't need a buddie kiss or a love confession or anything this season, what i do need is ✨lingering looks✨. specifically, lingering looks where they make Eye Contact. like. we've seen eddie watching buck when he's not looking and we've seen buck watching eddie when he's not looking but show me them looking at each other!!!!! for a little big longer than they should!!!!! show me the little half smile they share after a joke peters out. show me eddie actually maintaining eye contact instead of looking away the next time he says one of those revealing, devastating lines that he always levels buck with when he needs reassurance. show me them sharing a knowing look over something that turns into a silent conversation. show me buck ducking his head with that bashful grin he always gets but then looking back up to catch eddie's eye once more. show me the lingering looks that say they get it!!!! that they know it's different with them!!!!!!!!! and maybe they're not ready right now but they could be soon!!!!!!!!!!!

#911 related #buddie #i remember with the first boy i ever had real legit feelings for #the reason i knew he liked me back was because when i could feel him staring at me #every time i'd look up at him he'd just smile instead of looking away and it used to KILL ME #anyway this is actually about all those looks nick and jess share you know the ones #give me the buddie version

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter. #he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point. #and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!! #hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do! #the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into- #one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT. #but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb. #I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time. #and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances. #and doesn’t want to hear any excuse. #but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment. #NOW. CHAPTER 17. #UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN #Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC. #IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!! #BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’ #WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM. #(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.) #and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through. #despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up. #like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him. #that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying. #just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner. #IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD. #and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore. #he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had. #and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT. #<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but. #eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind. #I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags

[samarecharm]

Fake Dating for an event but make it Makoann

MAYBE its preparation for Shidos palace? Getting intel on some people on his hitlist before infiltrating for real?

Originally Akira was willing to take Makotos place, but there were concerns that someone would recognize him through the makeup. “Shido KNOWS your face; we cant risk that.”

Futaba doesnt go for very obv reasons (agoraphobic), but also, she needs to have a live feed of everything being said incase they need to leave the event early. And Haru cant go bc shes the daughter of Okumura; she would be recognized immediately. Makoto is simply the best choice given the (unfortunate) circumstances.

Normally, they would joke about Ann’s acting; but shes a model and she knows how to act appropriately in these kinds of situations. Its not an act, its her Job, and its kind of wild for Makoto to see her effortlessly mingle w so many important and intimidating people without a care in the world. Makoto finds herself less stressed about the event because of it, and perhaps even a little emboldened 😳

Bonus Doodle under the cut (drawn before the images up top)

#persona 5 #makoann #ann takamaki #makoto niijima #arts #funny bc it started w me trying to make some very nice and simple outfits for ann #and the dress n clutch looked really nice. like nice enough to be a unassuming outfit to wear at a fancy event #and like. i DONT have a legit place i could see this happening ingame; shido was kind of last minute #but then. i dunno. i feel like futabas hacking skills were pretty underutilized in the game #shes sneaky but thats about It #i need her making up fake credentials and IDs for her team #and making vip invitations for them to get wherever they need to go #yeah they have haru bc shes rich but WHY make her go through all that? #if anything i feel like she would be helpful to give futaba some people to search #and businesses owned by those people #anyway. rambling #i had a version of that second image w makoto resting her hand on anns butt bc shes so short and ann is Big #and ann teasing her for it #but decided against it bc i think makoto would be so paranoid about accidentally grabbing her ass LMAO #also. i guess TECHNICALLY they would be drinking. but they are also pretending to be in their 20s #as like. up n coming investors or whatever. so ann is like ‘makoto this is one time where i need u to not be a narc.’ #imagining makoto carrying a full cup w her the entire event bc she almost audibly gagged when she sipped the alcohol #ann just takes from her cup from time to time bc shes just like that (shares food n drinks w ryuji and akira all the time) #but makoto is like. good lird. indirect kiss. #its made more apparent when anns lipstick stains the glass a bit #makoto: what the hell did i get myself into. jesus.

[chaosandwolves]

Then the hollow folk pour me another shard full of glass And I toast to their talents and I forgive them at last 'Cause I know, oh, I know, I know That you are in the earth of me You are in the earth of me

The Old Witch Sleep and The Good Man Grace by The Amazing Devil

#Buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #the amazing devil #buckley diaz family #Tad lyrics #the old witch sleep and the good man grace #Man I haven't done an edit in so long #Legit had to look up how to gradient blend images again #Lmao #This time they're not my own words but damn #I was listening to it again and was just like.... Man that's so them #Hope y'all like it #Also if you don't know Tad please check them out #I made an TAD introduction playlist #so hit me up if you want it #My edit

[rainymoodlet]

Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[Ep. Ten] A Night on the Town!

Congratulations to our third date winner, Fabian! 🍾 Daniel decided to take him to the beautiful and masterfully built (😉) Wakabamori Walk for some bowling and a bar crawl!

The two had a hell of a time drinking, nailing trick shots, and talking the night away! It was classic bowling hall date: pitchers of beer, snuggling between pin resets, and laughter abound!

They also get two extra pics because for whatever reason these two decided to get drunk off their asses and go for a swim! 🥹 @rebouks come get your boy!!! djdjhs

[ Part 1/2 ] 🌹

#ts4 #ts4 screenshots #ts4 gameplay #ts4 bachelor challenge #ts4 challenge #;kmik #sim: daniel #fabian hawkins by rebouks #|| #i legit went to look for fabs and he was in the water and dan was followin him fhdhhdd #this lot was built by becca @rebouks!!! and it is FUCKING GORGEOUS omg #the bowling hall i built 2 basements down from the level fhdhd #but omg these two had such a good time!! #sorry this was a little late! stressful day #but seriously they spent the time talking abt granite falls and dan’s travels #and he asked fabian all about his scar and his lumber job and the places he’s been #fabian opened up to him in some deep conversations abt his relationship w alcohol and the fact that he feels #like he hasn’t done ‘enough’ #and it was all in all so fucking wholesome omg #it felt like an absolutely perfect and delightful lil bowling date #that they could have had in the world outside of the show on their own #and it was just so fun to play omg 🥹 #and yes: fabian won!!! dan was surprisingly awful at bowling fhshdhd he fumbled almost every shot!

[sehunlyone]

Sehun for Esquire E Issue

"How does he make even the simplest moves charming? Is his attractive face the answer to all?"

#exo #sehun #oh sehun #exosnet #sehun gif #sehunlygif #esquire #uhm... hello it's been a while #i legit forgot how to gif #avisynth doesn't work anymore (probably i need a new update or smth) #and i'm lucky i had actions saved because if not i had to look up a tutorial for real #i had a sudden urge to gif when i saw the two videos of him #so yes there will be another set #but i'm not back to giffing regularly #*200

[metaligatr]

really wanted to draw some baten kaitos but I had no idea what

thankfully, when all else fails guillo exists

#baten kaitos #baten kaitos origins #guillo #in which no draws crap #legit had no idea where i was going with this #ended up going for a low contrast kind of papery look #don't talk to me about the background i had no idea what to fill all that blank space with #deep deep under all those layers is a tiny doodle of lyude from when i wasn't sure what i was going to draw #anyway if some french distributor doesn't come out with the remaster steelbook preorder thing im going to simply perish

[loki-zen]

the other thing i hate about automatic plagiarism checkers is that plagiarism (the concept) is supposed to be about copying. But it can’t check for copying. It can only check if what you’ve written is similar to what someone else has written - which is going to happen sometimes just by random chance!

especially when you factor in that

a) people are using these on short assignments

b) everybody’s handed-in assignments get added to the pool of stuff to check against

c) teachers are assigning the exact same essay prompts and the same reading materials year-in, year-out….

…some similarity is inevitable! and they do factor this into marking a little but students are going to be even more confused when they did 0 plagiarism but get back reports that say their work is 10% plagiarised and their teacher never explains to them that that literally just means they citied sources from the reading list like they were supposed to.

and it enforces the notion of intellectual property where it isn’t copying that counts - instead, every possible concept and sequence of words in the world has an owner and that owner is whoever gets published with it first. it’s worthless that you came up with something and praiseworthy that that guy did, even though each of you did the exact same thing but he was born 30 years earlier (and got published - one issue with this way of looking at things ofc is that it will tend to enshrine ideas forever as belonging solely to the sort of people who were capable of getting published, and the further back you go the more demographically restricted that set of people is).

#when i was a teenager i had legit angst about how #i ‘couldn’t’ write any of the ideas i came up with #and would never ever get credit for coming up with them all by myself #because when i looked it up i would find that someone i’d never heard of had had that idea before

[fayzart136]

It has been.... many, many moons since I read the Gone series.

But sometimes I still think about Hunter and get sad. You deserved better, microwave boy.

#trying out something new for colouring. fingers crossed it looks good when im not sleep deprived! #the gone series #oh its been a while since i added these tags lol #gone series #fayz #the fayz #micheal grant #hunter #digital #sfw #artists on tumblr #sketch #i recently remembered that scene where he's nearly killed and i legit had to sit down for a moment #i cant even describe it in the tags but lets say its that scene that featured a rope #what a fucked up scene that was!! #hey mr grant. #that was fucked up.

[clotpolesonly]

i wonder what kind of money laundering scheme the Lynches had set up, cuz ain't nobody nowhere believed that that cattle farm would make them multi millions of dollars

#Niall Lynch #Declan Lynch #TRC #tags by me #i neeeeeeeed to know how Niall made his fairy market money look like normal legit income #and not illegal magical artifact trade and smuggling or whatever #cuz they ended up with $9 mil in trust for the kids and presumably a decent amount of money for regular usage and for Niall himself #a good amount in a business fund for whatever dealings needed dealing #how many off shore accounts did Niall have? did he pay taxes on anything?? how much can a herd of cows conceivably make??? #he had to have had some shell companies and ''foreign investors'' and idk a bunch of laundromats in downtown henrietta or something #i'm already headcanoning that Declan ended up in charge of the operation by the time he was like 14 #his eye for detail would be invaluable in washing that money i'm just saying #and he would need to know everything to be able to keep it going once Niall was dead so he had to have been deeply involved #i'm just saying

[keyofjetwolf]

So far 2024 has seen me knocked flat by a cold, but hey, enabled my first book of the year to start and finish!

#another ticky in the new year box #gotten nowhere with the exercise part #but also doing cracker on the watching what I eat #thanks cold! #jet wolf sometimes reads too #in case anyone was wondering: #i enjoyed it #REALLY HIT SOME OF MY PERSONAL HORROR BUTTONS LOOKING AT YOU DOLLS #it felt in parts a little like a one or two step up christopher Pike #which I mean complimentary #in that it was very easy to read and I had a good time doing it #it was a little hand-holdy in places which grated on me a little #(yes I get what this is really all about I get it I promise) #and I think suffered in part from me having just come off of The Witch Elm #but it's absolutely competent and held my interest from start to finish #even legit creeped me out in places #and laughing to hacking in others #a good pulpy horror read #and I'll check out the author's other books when that's exactly what I'm in the mood for

[pinkyjulien]

Mitch Anderson | 265/?? Livin' his best life 🕶

#Cyberpunk 2077 #Mitch Anderson #Aldecaldos #Screenshot #Virtual Photography #MY LONGESTT SSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR #CHRIISSTTTTHHh hghfhghfh hgfhhgfhhghfhh #new bodyhair............................... this has me fucked up man #Ooohuuhhhghuhg hghghgh #that's literally a Man #that's A DUDE.............................. alright #Im hgfhhhgfhhghf hghf #I cant I canttt I cant I cant #Legit had to look elsewhere when he spawned and stared at the cam THATS HOW BAD IT ISSSS #(this has been 4 years) LISTEEEN. hgfhghf #Alright I'm done- don't mind me #O ___ O ......... hhhhhhhhhh

[hereissomething]

saw the first saw with orgy and my fave part is when u see dr gordon dragging his dad tummy across the floor on his way out of the bathroom

#saw 1 spoilers #cary elwes looked so good with a dad bod #better than in princess bride #and even betterer in a labcoat lol i gushed #i was p high by the time jigsaw got up and i legit had forgotten abt the dead body at that point💀 #fun moopie! i cant wait for saw 2 tonight #yes jigsaw is problematic as fuck but yknow what? would👌 #hes a twisted mf and thats what makes it interesting #just having someone be evil for no reason isnt as fun as when they try to rationalize it w their whackass philosophy #i cant believe jigsaw took a nap the whole time while the girls were fighting in the bathroom #there needed to be lotsa more billy!!! more billy more billy!!! #billy is the key to all this #lol and adam taking a pic of dr gordon slorpin a smoothey PHGFFG #saw 2004 #dr lawrence gordon