#and it makes me want to bury myself for feeling that way

[kana-de]

★ summary: arlecchino nsfw hcs since her banner is almost out.

☆ cw: nsfw. wlw (fem terms like cunt and pussy used). choking. dirty talk. cunnilingus. strap-on. a bit of belly bulge. arle's hands appreciation.

☾ a/n: this is a repost of the same work bc the first one didn't get any attention at all. also, this is like, the most smut i could write for now so yeah.

— arlecchino loves loves loves holding eye contact with you during sex, especially if it's missionary. her stare is intense, like she'll stab your heart right here and now, but she knows you're only getting more turned on by it. even if it's doggy, she'd bend your back and press it to her chest and she would make you look into her eyes while fucking her strap up into you. her other hand would also slide to your lower belly to feel the bulge of the strap in it.

“don't take your eyes off me. look away once and you aren't cumming tonight.”

— arlecchino knows damn well you get off from just looking at her hands. and she also knows that you love having her hands wrapped around that pretty little neck of yours, so she uses this knowledge every single time. every time she begins with foreplay, her hand sneaks its way to your neck, squeezing it experimentally until she feels your knees weaken or hears a choked whimper leaving your mouth. arlecchino just knows that simply using her hands would be enough to make you cum over three times already.

“you have a very nice neck there, you know. i'm sure that if i'd squeeze a little bit harder, it'd make you squeal nice and loud.”

— is a master at dirty talk, prove me wrong. arle uses her hands and mouth just perfectly. always the low voice, whispering some very hot and dirty things right in your ear. when she's in the mood, she may even use some pet names to flatter you. but usually, she doesn't use anything other than 'dear', 'darling' and 'princess' — the last one is used especially a lot when she wants to pamper you like the princess you are.

“let me guess... you were having so many wet dreams about this, were you not? daydreaming about this for days on end. i bet that now this cunt is soaked already.”

and then:

“what's wrong, dear? cat got your tongue, hm?”

— when arlecchino comes back from work either overworked or mad, she knows she doesn't even have to explain herself to you as she buries her face into your cunt the moment she sees you. i wouldn't call it "taking her stress out on you" though, i think she does it more to calm herself. she eats you out like she's been starving for days even if she did it just yesterday. holding your hips down so you will stop squirming so much after she just gave you your third orgasm. you're becoming too sensitive, but arle doesn't look like she gives a damn, because she knows that if she was hurting you, you'd already say the safe word that you two have.

“shut up and take it. you know i can't help myself."

#genshin impact #genshin x you #genshin x reader #genshin smut #arlecchino genshin #arlecchino #arlecchino x reader #arlecchino x you #arlecchino genshin impact #arlecchino x fem reader #arlecchino smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x female reader #genshin impact x you #genshin wlw

[strwberri-milk]

Midnight Blues

Rafayel x Reader || Mild Insomnia, Comfort || 1 184 words

a/n: my toxic trait is pretending im a singer and compiling songs into albums and naming them and midnight blue is the name of the hypothetical album that encapsulates falling in love with rafayel and i guess i could make a playlist bc thats the normal thing to do but i just name fanficitions after them ig. also this is based off his treasure secret time - idgaf about the mensturation i only care about the fact that hums your ass to rest and the lore drop that is rafayel calling you at night when the two of you first start met bc it would help you sleep

You can hardly remember what nights were like before without the sound of his voice in your ears.

You sigh as you sink into your bed, staring up at the ceiling after doing another quick lap around the house to try and tire yourself out. Your body is tired, you know it is. You just wish that you could sleep, not at all excited about the prospect of having to go to work tomorrow after being unable to sleep all night.

You’re about to start your nightly routine of tossing and turning when your phone suddenly starts to ring. A smile makes its way onto your face as you recognise the caller ID, putting your phone against your ear and humming lightly to alert the other side to your presence.

“You’re still awake, huh?” Rafayel’s teasing tone asks through the phone. The two haven’t known each other long but that didn’t seem to bother Rafayel in the slightest.

“Yeah,” you sigh, putting your phone on speaker next to you on the pillow.

All it took was falling asleep one time in a conversation with him for Rafayel to pounce on that and decide to take advantage of it. You swore up and down that it was a mistake, that it wasn’t because of Rafayel that you fell asleep but deep down you know that something about that silky smooth timbre of his voice made your worries go away. You’d never slept so soundly, mortified at the teasing text that he sent you when you read it in the morning.

However, you had to admit defeat and let the man do whatever he wanted. Even before you met him it was clear that Rafayel didn’t care much for whatever the people around him want. He does as he pleases and now, it seems that he’s convinced you won’t sleep without him talking to you.

“If you wanted me to call you all you had to do was ask,” he says after a while, letting you get settled in bed.

“I’m grown. I can take care of myself,” you reply, Rafayel imagining a slight pout on your features as you did so.

“Ah, I see. So you don’t need me to talk you to sleep then? I’ll hang up then.”

“Wait!” you shout quickly, shooting out of bed and grabbing your phone.

“Don’t…don’t go. Please?”

“Begging now? I guess if you’re that desperate for my company I’ll give it to you.”

You can hear how smug he is, rolling your eyes at how obvious his tells are. You wonder how Thomas hasn’t figured him out yet – Rafayel isn’t nearly as sneaky as he seems to think he is.

“Are you driving?” you ask after a second, settled back into bed again and listening carefully to his end of the call.

“I’m heading back from an exhibition. I could have booked a hotel but I didn’t feel like staying the night there so I’m making the long drive home. I called you to see if you’d keep me company.”

You tug your blankets around yourself, losing yourself in their warmth as you yawn. The exhaustion begins to sit on your shoulders again but this time, it feels more manageable. His voice swims around your head as he starts rambling about the exhibition. You’re glad to hear that it went off without a hitch, having declined his invitation yourself due to a more urgent task of the day.

“Are you even listening to me?” he asks, bringing your attention back to him.

“Hmm? Yeah, sellers bullying you, people hitting on you, same old same old,” you mumble, burying yourself further into your bed.

“If you didn’t like it that much, why didn’t you just make something up to get out of it?”

“I couldn’t bail on Thomas again. I felt bad for him constantly fielding off journalists and this show was supposedly a big deal so I decided to do him a favour. Plus, I blew off all the shows so far this month so I might as well make myself seen at a more important one.”

Leave it to Rafayel to make doing his job seem like a favour to someone else. Even if he acts like he’s got his head in the clouds you know he’s genuinely kind – if you’ve got the patience to go digging through the layers that make up the enigmatic artist. You feel thankful that the world brought you to him, even if you weren’t sure what the budding feeling in your chest is.

“You had a long day, huh? I can hear it in your voice.”

You give him another hum, not wanting to bother with any words.

“Even if I ask you a question you don’t need to reply. It’s getting late and I won’t be home for at least another hour. I really did just want your company you know. I’m glad that you answered my call. It would have been miserable if I had to drive home all alone.”

It doesn’t take Rafayel much time to start rambling at you again. You don’t know how he manages to find anything and everything to say to you and keep himself entertained, laughing at his own jokes and taking the soft noises you make as jumping off points to completely go on a new tangent.

When he hears your light snores and steady breathing, he smiles to himself. The sound of your breath surrounds him in his car and if he weren’t such a responsible driver, he’d close his eyes just to pretend that he’s laying in bed with you.

Normally, Rafayel was perfectly content driving home in silence, finding the long expanse of road the perfect opportunity to ground himself after all of the cameras and people in his face. Honestly, he only left when he did to make sure he’d be able to call you at the same time he did every night. Your inability to sleep well worried him and even if you didn’t fully understand the extent of his feelings towards you, he wouldn’t let that get in the way of taking care of you. You make him happy after all, especially when he hears you try to rouse yourself from sleep in a desperate attempt to show him that you’re listening to him. The mental image of your sleepy eyes trying to focus on his face makes his heart melt, impatiently tapping his finger against the steering wheel at the annoyance of being unable to call you his just quite yet.

Even when he gets home, he doesn’t hang up on you. He’s careful to do his nightly routine quietly, using the sound of your breathing as his favourite symphony and he settles down for the night himself. He even continues to speak to you softly, wanting to make sure that his voice lulls you into a truly restful slumber. He thinks about you a lot and being able to help you in any form always makes his heart feel so full.

He won’t admit that talking to you on these late nights makes him sleep well too, putting his phone on the pillow beside him before falling asleep to thoughts of you.

#love and deepspace x reader #rafayel x reader #lads x reader #lads rafayel #lads rafayel x reader #lnd rafayel

[hysel-e]

Year 2: Summer | Orter Mádl x Reader

"Last year, I wanted to invite you to the beach, but you immediately shot me down without even hearing me out,” you said, pretending to wipe away imaginary tears. “I was devastated, you know. Oh, how times have changed.”

“I simply didn't feel comfortable going with someone I barely knew,” Orter deadpanned, adjusting his glasses as he spoke.

“So you were just shy. I get it. Since you agreed to go this time, I'll take that as a sign we’re growing closer~”

“Do not put words into my mouth.”

You, Orter, and Alex were currently at the beach for summer break. It took a lot of convincing from both you and Alex before Orter finally agreed to be abducted to the beach.

However, while you and Alex were playing in the ocean, a certain four-eyes was seated in the shade, reading a book.

Noticing this transgression, you made your way over to him. "Why are you reading at the beach? Your habit of overreading is precisely the reason why your eyes turn into 3s when you take your glasses off,” you quipped, casting a playful glance at him.

Before Orter could respond to your cheeky remark, Alex approached with something in his hand. “I brought a slaughtermelon!"

"Why would you bring that here?" Orter asked, a trace of revulsion colored his face.

"It's times like these when you gotta smash melons, dummy!" Alex exclaimed enthusiastically.

"'Tis the season," you concurred, eyeing Orter mischievously.

"Speaking of smashing melons... Orter's pretty hard-headed. We could smash the slaughtermelon onto his head,” you suggested, half-jokingly. “I doubt he would sustain any brain damage due to that skull of his.”

Immediately following your words, you were pulled into the sand, finding yourself eye-level with Orter's feet. You had forgotten that you were currently in his natural territory.

“Did I lie, though?”

As night descended, you found Orter by the shore, his nose buried in a book as usual.

Approaching with a playful smile, you asked, “Mind if I join you?”

Without lifting his gaze from the pages, he replied, “What’s the point of asking? You’d do so regardless.”

“You’re so right, Orter. I can’t believe you know me so well,” you chuckled, earning a slight “tsk” from him.

“So, what brings you out here at this hour while Alex is fast asleep?” you inquired, settling down beside him.

Orter, as dry as ever, responded, “I went out to get away from you, but it appears that plan failed."

Without skipping a beat, you flashed a wide grin. “Then I’ll have no choice but to make you enjoy my company~”

At this point, he had completely abandoned any hope of reading in peace.

“What makes you think I want that?” Orter glanced your way, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“I mean, who wouldn’t want a beautiful lady like myself for company?” you stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Knowing that arguing with you was only a waste of time and breath, he let out an exasperated sigh and resigned himself to your presence, listening to your ramblings while gazing at the scenery.

It was a night of the full moon, the sky adorned with countless stars.

They say that the company you keep can enhance moments like these...

Though Orter was not one to appreciate the natural beauty of the night, the scene tonight was particularly alluring.

At some point, you fell silent. Resting your head on your knees, you watched as Orter absorbed the scene before him with his usual expressionless face. His presence alone had a way of making your heart skip a beat.

Opportunities to silently enjoy his company like this were rare, so you were savoring every second.

The scene of the ocean and sky illuminated by the full moon was breathtaking, and yet… you found the concentric rings in his eyes far more captivating.

“Quit staring,” his voice interrupted your trance.

“Oh, was I..? Maybe because the person I’m looking at is too mesmerizing to avert my eyes,” you teased.

Your comeback left him momentarily at a loss for words. Never before had he had to deal with such... brazenness. “You and your jokes. Your shamelessness knows no bounds, does it?” he said, adjusting his glasses.

With the widest smile on your face, you replied smugly, “Only when it comes to you~”

Unbeknownst to you, his heart fluttered just ever so slightly that night.

#orter madl x you #orter x reader #orter x you #orter madl x reader #mádl orter x reader #orter madl x y/n #mashle orter x reader #mashle orter #mashle orter mádl #mashle #orter x y/n #orter mádl x reader #orter madl #orter mádl #orter mádl x you #orter mádl x y/n

[hadesoftheladies]

hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.

#mine #personal #brief storytime in the tags #one of my family friends got married and i was happy she was happy #her parents are like an aunt and uncle to me #i was happy to share that moment with them #we cried and laughed together #and my friends #their other daughters were on the line and looked gorgeous #it was just beautiful watching us all grow up in a way and move on to “the next” together #BUT #im a pastor's kid #and my dad loves weddings #he drinks them in whenever he can now especially because they make him happy and he's had to attend a lot more funerals this year #he's been burdened a lot by how many people he's had to bury and how many hospital visits he's had to do #so i was happy to see him happy too #it just all felt so bittersweet to me #because i know how badly my parents want this for me and for themselves #there was a daddy-daughters dance at some point and i could feel my dad beaming beside me watching that #and i was a little sad about it because i was like im never gonna give you that #this could be the best thing i could ever give you and i will never give you this #i can never kneel at an altar in front of a pastor and swallow that sermon #i would never marry a man in my generation #if i married a woman you and almost the entire tent filled with people that watched me grow up would not attend #my happiest day would be another funeral for you #it was worse because im kind of a small celebrity in this community because of my parents and their siblings who are politicians #so people i barely knew kept coming up and asking me when it would be my turn and how they so looked forward to the day #and i was like i love that we're a community here and i missed the pestering of aunts since i left church #but at the same time i was glad to remember why i left #there is no freedom to be myself at all with them because all they do is project their beliefs and ideas on me because that's what children

[mitamicah]

I guess I’ve felt a bit off from the rest of the kääryleet the last few days and I am not liking it very much.

I want to be in agreement with you guys and get excited like you do ... it has just been a bit harder this weekend which sucks since there’s a new song and cool new MV theories and I am here like: slow down would you for the old man? (me)

this doesn’t make any sense possibly but I guess I’ll just say sorry for not being up to speed and for being a bit moody/unamused.

#also I know we're all excited to see the esc käärijä die (it seems) but as a person not great with change #that found käärijä through eurovision #I have to tell myself you are not asking me to rip out that part of my heart and bury it and forget it happened everytime you say this #it is way too late for me to make posts don't mind me #I hope I've not said too much #if so I'm sorry #I feel very down rn so it is a good thing I have to go to bed soon #also don't get me wrong I want jere to do what feels right for him #so if that's burying the bolero and the esc experience so be it #but please don't ask me to hate on that part of his history because if I'm being honest I can't #I have a fondness for the bolero and the spiked pants and the crazy sailor dance and everything else #yes I am done #goodnight everybody #sorry for being moody #kääryleet #micahs thoughts

[anonymous-eggy]

i hate winter.

#not because im always cold #i mean #thats part of it #seasonal trauma of being so used to people leaving during this time of year i guess #it makes my brain tell me to cut everyone off and that it doesnt matter #idk im not looking for comfort #just needed a place to put these frustrations bc idk how to lean on people #I'll get over it. i always do #it just... sucks #i get so sensitive to any sort of 'hint' that someones drifting away and then freak out and stop talking to them #even if there wasnt even a hint #i want to bury myself in blankets and hibernate #im jealous of bears #and i feel guilty for feeling this way #i cant help it but i still feel like a shit person for just feeling like disappearing on friends #i care. i do. #but idk i just. feel like disappearing. #I'll probably just play romance games about it. I'll be fine eventually #vent post #tw vent #vent

[xamaxenta]

Stresses me out alot that i cant physically bind anymore idk what happened in the last few years but any kind of compression hurts and it sucks it was the only thing i could do now i cant even do that

#so i think abt my faves with huge honkers to make myself feel better #it doesnt work really but i guess the fictional solidarity as a concept helps #dysphoria #another day of absolutely hating my body and the government and yknow just being poor in general #idk what i can do #nothing ??? nothing hurts so much tho #i yearn for absolutely fucking nothing i just want to be blank straight edges no discernible gender features #looking at my body makes #me want to throw up die bury the parts i dont like #structurally its all wrong but im already biologically an adult the fuck can i do about it now #being trans is an absolute nightmare for me i hate every second of it honestly because i have nothing #i can do to help it or fix it or progress it #im angry and upset to say its dangerous for me to do anything about it. #and that im not brave enough to go fuck it. im envious of the people who love themselves enough to say fuck it we ball we do this our way #because i love myself and im doing it to be my authentic self #i envy those people a lot #wish that could be me. #but. also wish i could be algae or smth lol #same shit same woes #same as always and no money to afford professional help

[polzkadotz]

.

#gonna be venting I guess lmao #this is what happens when you delete your twitter account I guess lol #I'm getting real tired of being me but above all of being someone struggling with substances. it's hard to be kind to myself #especially because I feel like I dont deserve it #I'm burying myself in debts I barely talk to my friends I'm trying to build routines but it all falls apart the MOMENT I relapse #I've self-harmed for the first time in years I've been more suicidal than ever and I can actually see my body breaking down #and it's hard to care about me cuz well. I've never cared about me. and every time I talk to the people I love I try to put on this front #bc I don't want to upset them or make them worry about how unwell I actually am #and honestly...... I'll be so surprised if I survive until the rest of the year. I honestly don't see myself surviving past my nephew's bday #and that's... two months away? how can it be two months away already wow time really flies when your a piece of addicted shit #not the best way to refer to myself but Oh Well lmao #I'm sorry I'm not a good person to be around friendos. And I'm sorry if my death is gonna affect you/traumatize you but like #me dying would make the life of a LOT of people better. and I think it'd make me happy to go out by doing a good deed I guess lmao #anyway #here's wonderwall

[ccuriousmischieff]

.

#my period really has just started and it’s already made me experience way too many emotions #I really feel like whatever progress I make towards being positive with myself gets fucking decimated #I just want to bury myself in the fucking ground

[ectoplasmer]

I think it might be literally killing me that I will never get to hug him or kiss him or anything.

#curse you anime boy for being fictional and still managing to make me fall in love with you #every time i want to hug him or cuddle with him or rest on his chest #i just. lay on my body pillow and squeeze my eyes shut and think really hard about how it would feel #sometimes it works and other times i just feel silly #it sort of helps having things that could simulate it (heating pad heartbeat audio etc) #but i don’t think anything could ever match what the real thing must feel like #i would do anything to hug him for even a second #i would do anything to just bury my face into his shoulder and feel him there #but i can’t. ever. and i think that really sucks #i think it’s a lot more than just ‘it sucks’ but i don’t know how else to legitimize the real deep ache i feel about this #i love him so much and i don’t think there’s anyone i could ever love more #and i can’t hold him #i can’t ever hold his hands #i can’t feel the way his chest would rise and fall or hear what his heartbeat would sound like #i can’t ever lay with him and feel his body heat and feel him actually *there* #and it hurts #instead i am limited to my brain and whatever i can fool myself into feeling #i can think about holding him as much as i want and that’s a good thing #but i will never stop yearning for the real thing :( #i think he’d be very comfy… a lil cold but in a good way #spooky ghosts #erm. just in case this also gets #tw vent #even though this is like… the most surface level thoughts i have about this…

[noxtivagus]

T__T final fantasy

#🌙.rambles #bruh i remember why i'm so romantic now #i hate final fantasy................ #BUT GOD THE LYRICS OF. SUTEKI DA NE. EYES ON ME. MELODIES OF LIFE. KISS ME GOOD-BYE. SOBBBBBBB #i want to throw my phone or my laptop across my room! bury my head in a pillow n scream! #the the. EMOTION IN THEM. hurts just the way i like it lol #STAR-CROSSED ? OH MY GOD I HATE FINAL FANTASY FOR MAKING THAT ONE OF MY FAV TROPES WTF #THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING REALIZING HOW ROMANTIC I AM BCS OF INFLUENCES LIKE FINAL FANTASY #'darling so share with me / your love if you have enough / your tears if you're holding back / or pain if that's what it is' #'just reach me out then you will know that you're not dreaming' i will Cry #this is so cringe n i've always been a bit 'weird' but #sob hermes ffxiv kin bcs i still fit in thanks to my kindness n my intelligence . but it feels lonely #frankly as long as i stop caring about that n just really focus on just being myself as i always have. i'll definitely be happier . #be closer to that inner peace. n while i definitely keep on improving in that regard. i got the mindset n all #it's hard still bcs i can tell there's smth that's holding me back significantly. am i afraid that i'll be left out? alone? #i don't want to be what i'm not. but i'm afraid that. everything i've already found could just go away. disappear and leave #n i'll never really find a place that stays that i belong in. i'm too young to say for sure but i think #the world was cruel then. I ALREADY HAD TRUST ISSUES THEN THANKS TO OLD FRIENDS N THEN LMFAOOO I GOT HURT MORE #this is why i love helping others ! i try to make sure that people are being listened to in convos. i try to really read n understand *you* #fuck my anxiety though n i guess that child in me's still afraid to let my guard down. #there's sm i WANT to do for others n then. added with my own self. it's so overwhelming n it often feels like i failed everyone #we all owe ourselves the same kindness we give to others. it really gets hard though. bcs god i beat myself up for not being enough #especially for others :') like god i always want to help but it gets so hard to reach out n then i get hurt even more by my incompetence #cries i got distracted but back to ff..... i hate being romantic this way bcs i cld find some witty way to. #god no wait i'm not gna bring that up

[mothheart]

Tw for venting under the cut and in tags about abusive/codependent relationships and trauma bonding.

I already knew but I don't think I acknowledge enough that my relationship with my ex was codependent and I trauma bonded with him.

#theres so many things #in all 2 and a half years i only unflinchingly stood up for myself once. and that was brought on by him abusing my best friend #i let him walk all over me and degrade me constantly but. i guess the final straw was him bringing my best friend into it #and that scared him enough when he realized he was going to lose me that he promised to 'change' #he did not. he acted like it but it really did not take long for him to let up on that act. #and after that i truly just let it happen #took it all. sometimes made weak attempts at defending myself but it always ended with my tail between my legs and apologizing to him for #expressing my hurt #i had to downplay and bury my feelings and put All Of My Energy into placating him #he was unpredictable. through and through. i tried every day to avoid things that made him blow up in the past but it never was enough. #it was inevitable that i would end up doing something Wrong and he would tear me to shreds for it #i slowly but surely gave up on telling people about the abuse. put on my own act. we were that perfect happy couple. his friends loved us. #they loved me. they treated me better than he did and it was a small comfort. #it would have continued indefinitely i think. unless he was the one to end it. and he did. #i had expressed my discomfort with the thought of ever having kids; esp biological kids; very early on in the relationship #he would constantly go from promosing he felt the same and tell me kids werent a defining factor in the long run to deciding no kids was a #dealbreaker. i never really changed my mind. it just caused a lot more arguments. and im not saying its wrong to struggle making up your #mind on something so big but the way he went about it just. felt cruel #what made him end the relationship was partially him 'finally' deciding he wanted kids no matter what but also me not having a job was part #then me questioning my gender was another reason. which is fine. at the time he identified as straight. #but every one of those things changed again. he once again told me not long after breaking it off he actually was cool with not having kids #which like. sure. okay. and also he realized he was bi not long after and came out. he had been questioning when i was questioning my #gender but he didnt want to stay with me because he has homophobic family. which i get. but again. everything else #i dont know. is it wrong to feel hurt that he changed his mind about kids /again/ so soon after? and told me for some reason? and came out #so soon after #i dont really know what the endpoint to this is supposed to be #for some reason this has been stinging again lately #so here i am #i know what he did was wrong on so many levels but i still feel guilty for the things i feel #and hes just yk. living his best life. cool i guess

[canwehavehextonite]

i hate living like this i jst wanna be free

#all i need is an all terrain power wheelchair and then ill be fucking set. can we get one that climbs shit too??? #idk man its like. i have such deep longing for the simplest of shit that makes me feel good and refreshed and alive #like going for a fucking walk. #and i cant #and that hurts so badly #like emotionally #if my needs were met and i had accessibility it would be a little easier on my spirit but i dont currently have that and im grieving that #i wanna walk to the gas station. get a snack or a drink or a cigarette. i want to take a long walk down to a body of water. #i wanna find somewhere to climb and perch and smoke and soak in nature. i wanna connect w the people around me. #i wanna bury the dead rats i see on the sidewalk. i want to pick up the trash i jump over on the way home. #i want to run to people when theyre in need and be there for every second without making myself so sick i cant move. #i want to carry people. drive people. cook for people. make things for people #anyways #no ones desire matches their capacity but its still hurts to have this determination and motiviation but 0 capacity for it. #the feeling physically hurts deep in my chest #ill get there and i know theres so much i can do within my capacity but i still save space for the mourning. #learning to connect and help in a more meaningful way while still honoring my capacity is difficult but im getting there #talkin #disability tag #🦨

[milo-is-rambling]

I LOVE YOU PAST MILO -current Milo nauseas head in a sparkling clean toilet I cleaned literally a half hour ago and then got too high while celebrating how clean it looked and feel sick now😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#but yipppee sparkly clean. gonna put a little sticky toilet gel thing on the inside while I’m in here #maybe throw up if another nausea wave comes before I can stand up 😭 #I had too much cereal and a lot of water at once and like. yuck yuck yuck I feel yucky high on the floor yucky I wish I was normal I need to #back off of weed a little to become a real person but also. I’d rather dig my own grave and bury myself in it alive than work a real job #like. fuckkkkkk I want to cry. fuck retail fuck fuck fuck I’m a failure wahhhhhhh I cant even handle beginner jobs #rattling the bars of my cage screaming crying throwing up why am I alive waahhhhhh okay nvm that’s too far it’s not that bad I’m chilling #the toilet is clean! look at the bright side. my therapist when I talked about like my mom maybe wanting to set a goal for working like a #certain amount of doordash hours and my therapists number she came up with was three hours and I was so happy like. she gets it. I am #exhausted just existing and she was like hmm you should work three hours a week. like. at most. #love her so much. it was probably a mistake but also. keeping it in my brain forever #imagine a three hour work week being backed up by my therapist to my mom like haha my therapist said I only HAVE to do three hours #god three hours still feels like a lot rn #like two weeks ago I dropped a salad in a tight packed restaurant and everyone watched me drop it and then walk back to the kitchen and wait #for them to make a salad so I could leave and fucking deliver the food and it was so embarassing and I haven’t done a single order since #then bc I get so anxious that I just exit the app if I don’t get an order like immediately which I haven’t yet so no orders. #I just get high. too high. and admire my cleaning work. it’s nice. I have to do the bathroom floor still. dog hair. dust. brother beard hair #my hair and bleach specks. I need to clean the bathroom fr. I’m excited I’m redecorating the bathroom in my mind and it’s giving me #motivation to clean it and I want to work more dooordash shifts (when I’m not this high) to save moneys to update my room and the bathroom #a little before the summer. just. replace air matress bc it’s low key a trigger now. so that’s fun. so buy a futon or smthing. and update #the bathroom into a thing that I like in my extra Milo type way. while making room for three ppl to share one bathroom. bc. it’s small #small bathroom for sure. but I’ll get it lookin good. add some cute decorations. maybe a candle or two. an incense thing for when I tak bath #slay. slay. building my dream bathroom in my mind and also. my Amazon wishlist land. and Pinterest land. I love making lists of things.

[queenofthieves]

.

#i need to move what i wrote from where it is. every time i pull out my folder for dnd i see a part of it and it doesn't do much to make my #head space any better. it doesn't necessarily take it to a worse place but it still it's... weird maybe... that's one way to put it. #the same shit is swirling around in my head. overthinking things too. i feel like i'm going to explode with everything inside. #i'm tired. i'd switch places if i could. it'd be better that way. #i wish i could say and express things without it idk without worrying about it. and be able to get what i needed. i just want to be buried #i feel close to exploding with so much. i wish i could give myself a slow leak so it stops expanding in me. it’s inescapable #in a lot of ways my walks just feel like somewhere else to cry. a different place to wish i was …. in

[val-made-a-mistake]

❝PUSHING THE LIMITS.❞

(not my gif)

summary: eddie might fuck you good, but venom pushes your limits.

warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT, nasty ass smut, surprised-myself-while-writing-it kind of smut, sorta dubcon towards the end, oral sex f and m receiving, sticky tendrils and tentacles and appendages and such, bondage using v's tendrils, hair pulling, spanking, double penetration, eddie spitting in reader's mouth, eddie slaps reader's cheek a lil bit in the beginning, overstimulation central, names like "good girl", "sweet angel", "sweet girl", "beautiful girl"... don't wanna hype myself up too much, but i think y'all are gonna be eating good while reading this one. monsterfucking. i am definitely not getting into heaven, so make my sacrifice worth it and grab some popcorn!

word count: 2k

a/n: if you've ever wanted me to write a sequel for fics like "take the reins" and "don't pretend", this is for you. i can't believe this is my official return to fic writing LMAO, but we're pretending like i never left! (yes i know i posted my last fic in april.) i hope you enjoy, please give me some feedback for this one!

//////

“Gooooood fuckin’ girl.”

You struggled to hide your wince as Eddie harshly slapped your cheek again: you were on your knees, your face raised to look at him as he knelt over you, directing your face in whatever way he wanted it to go. Some parts sweet, some parts rough - whether it was pulling your hair until your cunt twinged with need, or spitting in your mouth when it got too dry for him to fuck, or how fucking good his cock felt when it was shoved into your mouth, you took all of it enthusiastically. 

You hadn’t heard Venom’s commentary in a while, but at least Eddie seemed to be enjoying himself.

“That’s great, honey,” Eddie gasped as he slipped the tip of his cock in your mouth again: you sucked on it dutifully, slathering your spit over his already glistening length, but throughout all of it, your eyes were locked on his face.

He was almost out of breath just from watching you. “Jeez, that’s fuckin’ nasty…”

Overachieving, you responded by taking his whole length into your mouth until the tip of his cock slammed into your uvula and you were forced to gag.

You meant to stay there, but Eddie’s hand was buried in your hair very suddenly, tugging you backward: he evidently hadn’t been expecting that.

“Easy, honey,” he told you. “It’s not every day I got a girl jumping all over me, y’know.”

You sat back on the bed and stuck out your tongue for him, grinning widely. “Sorry.”

Inside his head, Venom scoffed.

PUSSY.

“N-no, don’t be sorry for anything,” Eddie managed to say to you as he allowed his cock into your mouth again, determined to keep Venom at bay inside his thoughts. “Feels so fucking good, just like that…”

Sucking him off until he came had to be the plan, you figured, so you kept going, keeping your tongue flat along his length as he fucked your mouth. His cock was so goddamn thick, and your tongue kept brushing along a prominent vein as you went. The best part was his hand, firm in your hair, ensuring he was using you in whatever way he wanted.

Meanwhile, Venom’s voice was a reassuring purr in Eddie’s ear.

SHE LOOKS SO GOOD LIKE THIS, EDDIE.

So it came as a bit of a surprise when Eddie decided he wanted to move: he was off of you in an instant, but he was grabbing your leg, indicating he wanted you to move with him.

His voice was soft, almost sweet, keeping you wet. “Up, honey, c’mon.”

Breathless, your heart pounding now that there wasn’t a hand in your hair anymore, you got off your knees and, following his direction, rolled over on the bed.

“Shit,” Eddie commented appreciatively, just before he spanked you harshly. “Pop that up for me, honey.”

Grinning sheepishly, you buried your face in the pillow and lifted your stinging ass in the air for him.

“Fuck,” he gasped as the palm of his hand brushed over your pussy - yeah, you already knew you were dripping, and the humiliation of it made you flush. “You always get this wet just having a dick in your mouth?”

“It’s just you,” you mumbled weakly, which earned your another spank.

“Just me, huh?” Eddie replied, mockingly, making your face burn. “Not V? You’re telling me this pretty pussy’s dripping just because of me?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he’d spanked you directly on your pussy this time, making you moan weakly.

“Fuck,” you gasped, burying your face in the pillows. You had a feeling that Venom would’ve teased you endlessly if you moaned for him, and you weren’t sure if you could handle it when your pussy was already this wet, but God, you’d never been more tempted.

Inside his head, Venom was sounding impressed, but he hadn’t revealed himself yet.

KEEP GOING, EDDIE. YOU WILL BREAK HER.

Keeping your head in the pillow, you spread your legs wider for him, trying to expose as much of your pussy as you could. Spurred on by Venom’s praise, Eddie grinned.

“Fucking glistening,” he laughed, running a finger delicately along your drenched pussy, sending sensitive nerves haywire. “What a pussy. I mean, Jesus…”

He leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to your damp inner thigh, and that simple, two-second touch had your mind speeding out of control with obscenities. No doubt about it, spreading your holes like this turned you on: you could feel your slick running down your inner thighs, and if your brain wasn’t jammed, you would’ve been begging for Eddie for Venom to come out, to finally fuck you.

Breathless with anticipation, you grabbed a fistful of pillows instead and waited patiently, keeping still.

Inside his head, Venom was chomping at the bit, too.

WHEN WILL YOU LET ME OUT, EDDIE?

Just give me a few more minutes, Eddie’s thoughts responded, a bit urgently.

He opted to pretend as though nothing had happened, keeping his control over you.

“Spread your legs more, baby. I want to see how turned on I made you.”

Moaning weakly, you did as he said, spreading your legs to reveal your glistening wet mess of a pussy: you had yet to touch yourself, or do anything to stop the spread of heat in your most sensitive spot, but you felt like if he didn’t touch you soon, you were going to go into cardiac arrest.

You closed your eyes and listen to him move closer.

Eddie’s hands were warm around your thighs, and you could feel him kiss both of your inner thighs - dear god, he’s about to kill you - before he kissed your clit, enveloping it with warmth. 

Everywhere. Oh God.

You gasped weakly. “Oh, Eddie…”

Again, Venom’s voice was a reassuring purr in Eddie’s ear.

YOU ARE UNRAVELLING HER, EDDIE. KEEP GOING.

“That feel good?” he whispered, kissing you softly again.

Well, fucking obviously: you were clutching the pillows above you with all your might, doing your best not to squirm in pleasure. “Eddie, please…”

You were so fucked out you couldn’t finish that sentence, but Eddie knew what it meant, and Venom did too.

LET ME OUT, EDDIE. YOU KNOW SHE WANTS IT.

“You need V, honey?” Eddie whispered from between your legs: he sensed from the growing warmth in his abdomen that he wouldn’t have control over his body for much longer, so he was determined to savour it for as long as he could.

You nodded weakly, flushed with pleasure - Eddie’s tongue may have been a natural, non-monstrous length, but it was pressed to your clit nonetheless, and it would’ve made anybody come after long enough. “Give him to me.”

That did it: Venom came out with a flourish, enveloping Eddie’s body entirely in black goo until he wasn’t Eddie anymore, but tendrilled and sticky and terrifying and one hundred percent Venom.

You almost came at the sight of him. “Oh, V…”

Venom’s tongue protruded from his mouth, licking clean his impressive row of fangs. His milky white eyes might’ve caused others to cower, but you stared directly into them, breathless. It was fascinating, really, how quickly Eddie had disappeared.

Venom’s voice was a deep purr, deeper than anything you’d ever heard.

DID YOU MISS ME, SWEET ANGEL?

“I did, V,” you gasped as a glittering black tendril snuck up your leg, “God, I - I want you so bad.”

Venom cocked his head to the side, watching you intently, like a predator watching its prey.

I TELL EDDIE THAT ALL THE TIME.

You gasped as the appendage finally breached your cunt, pulsating and sticky, giving you exactly the feeling of fullness you wanted. “Oh, Venom…”

The pillow you were clinging onto was gone in a second, replaced by two tendrils pinning your arms onto the bed. Before you knew it, two other tentacles were wrapping around your ankles, fully restricting your ability to move, and there you were, trapped on the bed as Venom was leering above you, his cock sliding in and out of you.

His pace was relatively slow, but you soaked up every pulsing inch succeeded inside of you, and every now and again, he’d make the tendril twist, bringing you closer to the edge every time.

I DON’T EVER THINK I’VE SEEN YOU THIS WET, SWEET ANGEL.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this wet, your thoughts responded incredulously, but all that came out was a choked, “Ngh!”

You were coming, you knew it, and it still hit you like a fucking freight train: the orgasm rushed through you as blood thundered to your brain, euphoria crashing over you at maximum intensity. Everything welling up inside of you just burst, and nothing had ever been so lovely.

You went deaf for a moment as the only thing you could hear was your heart absolutely pounding and the shrill ringing in your ears, but you knew you were gasping for breath, completely overtaken by this orgasm. You’d never tell Eddie, but it was Venom who knew how to pull orgasms from you like this, and only Venom, his glittering black cock absolutely destroying you from the inside out.

Of course, it was then Venom suddenly decided to slam his cock into you at full force, overstimulating you beautifully.

The confidence in his voice never wavered.

I KNOW YOU CAN TAKE IT, BEAUTIFUL GIRL. I HAVE SEEN YOU TAKE IT.

“Oh, Venom,” you were gasping over and over, but you couldn’t fully hear yourself over the ringing in your ears and the sounds of Venom’s glittering black tendril sliding in and out of your drenched, abused pussy, filling you up to the maximum. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

He did the pulsating, twisting thing inside of you once again, and your eyes nearly rolled back into your head: when he was pinning you down like this, you had nothing to hold onto, it was just you, the cock inside of you, and the threat of this monstrous creature swallowing you whole. “Oh my god, Venom!”

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT EDDIE SEEING THIS, SWEET GIRL?

“Oh, fuck, Venom…” you moaned from underneath him, incoherent now as his cock pistoned in and out of you. You were blathering, but the message was clear: don’t fucking stop!

Venom was smug, now.

HOW DO YOU FEEL KNOWING I CAN TAKE YOU BETTER THAN EDDIE EVER COULD?

“You’re better than Eddie,” you mumbled incoherently as Venom ramped up speed, “Loads better than Eddie, I just - oh fuck - holy shit, V, keep going!”

WILL YOU COME FOR ME, SWEET ANGEL?

Yes, I will, your thoughts responded immediately, but actions spoke louder than words: your second orgasm ripped through you as your legs shook, you were pushed to the point of insanity. This one really took you by surprise compared to the first, but you revelled in it, your vision flashing with white as Venom fucked into you. You could feel your body sinking into the bed despite the restraints, spent, and you almost thought it was over, but–

Venom, of course, didn’t care.

COME FOR ME AGAIN, BEAUTIFUL GIRL.

“V,” you whispered weakly, your entire body damp with sweat from your last orgasm, “I - I don’t think I can, I just came.”

Above you, Venom absolutely snarled, and his tongue slithered down to force your legs even further apart.

WHEN I SAY COME, YOU COME!

A second, bigger tendril sank into your ass this time, and you gasped: you were filled, completely and utterly filled, and God, you’d be lying if it didn’t feel so fucking wonderful.

“I - I’m gonna come,” you blathered, blinking hard as the realization set in: you were about to come faster than you’d ever come in your life. “I - I’m gonna come, V, holy - oh my god-”

The words I’m coming were lost in your throat, but it didn’t matter: in a matter of seconds, you’d came for a third time, and the euphoria this time around was still there, yet with a bitter and harsh edge. Your body was exhausted, but your pussy was drenched, and all Venom knew was to keep fucking going, so–

You were gasping, half-deaf with your vision flashing with white, trying to make peace with the reality that Venom was going to fuck you until you passed out.

#venom #venom x reader #venom x you #venom smut #eddie brock #eddie brock x reader #eddie brock x reader smut #eddie brock smut #tom hardy #tom hardy smut #venom let there be carnage #let there be carnage #venom imagine