#and the worst people survive

[uncanny-tranny]

So much love and recognition to the people who don't know how they feel about recovering. To the people whose scars are fading away, and there's a sinking feeling, despite knowing that it's a good thing. To the people who miss when they were "worse," when they felt "broken." To the people who mourn losing their coping mechanisms, even the ones that were destructive, scary, or unpleasant. To those who feel guilty they're healing because their past self wasn't ready.

Whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with any of those feelings. It's a natural reaction, something you don't have ultimate control over. There is nothing shameful about yourself, and I admire the strength it takes to recognize how you feel, even the parts that do feel like the "wrong" reaction to a Good Thing.

#mental health #self harm tw #self harm mention tw #sh tw #mental health recovery #mental health support #i love you i love you i love you #i admire you and empathize with you and want to be your fellow man. i want to share this wold *with* you #and that includes sharing a world that you aren't sure you deserve or are ready for #the world can wait. humans have been here for hundreds of thousands of years. it can wait #when i think about all this what makes me feel better is remembering how many billions of people have lived #and it makes me feel better to know that there has never been a problem too big to have - to uniquely awful #i have my own conflicted feelings about this because objectively i am healing #but it feels like i have boarded on land after surviving the worst trip to sea ever... #...a trip that was plagued with my ship being flung through hurricanes and lightnight and i'm only manning a sailboat... #...and i have found land and that land is good... #...but my legs feel like they will give out underneath me because this is solid land that i have never stood on... #...and you get used to the constant seasickness and sealegs and wondering *how* you'll make it out - If you will... #...the peace feels like a ruse at times because all you've known was chaos. but it's a good ruse and a comfortable one #and so you learn i guess to sink into the comfort like a spft feather pillow

[snekdood]

There are genuinely people online that instead of actually bringing people to the left, at this point, would prefer that anyone who was previously not on the left but who tries to be *stays* outside of the left, because i guess its just easier to comprehend when the world is put into little shitty boxes you labeled for them instead of actually thinking for once and having the nuance to understand them. Like thats wild to me that theres people who would prefer you not be on the left or not try to be. Yall GENUINELY do not care about advocating for your side politically in any capacity. Its LITERALLY just a clique you've found yourself in. And theres nothing progressive about that or being exclusive, wtf do you think this shit is, a night club? Grow the fuck up, honestly.

#A whole lot easier to consistently point and laugh at the same person than to ever encourage them to change i guess #yall are weak #Yall wont get us anywhere and actively hurt progressive causes #And the worst part is most of the ppl like this are on tumblr and a lot of the people on tumblr absolutely suck as human beings #and never want to do anything about it either partially because they think theyre above any form of therapy 🙄 #Idk. maybe its a comfort thing. Like things have to be exactly how they remembered them the day before or else they'll idk lose their mind #Like some of yall would prefer the world stays black and white and thats sad #Lets be honest. What it really is is you dont want to have to feel any potential guilt for treating someone as if theyre just #discardable trash when they werent. #Bc ur just oooohhh soooo perfeccctttt and it just fucks with your self perception when someone even inadvertently suggests #you did something wrong lmao. #yall wont survive in this world

[greensaplinggrace]

I can’t stop thinking about how the darkling is a character that has existed in a survival mindset for literally hundreds of years. like I cannot even begin to fathom what that kind of thing does to someone’s brain

#grishaverse #sab #shadow and bone #aleksander morozova #the darkling #myramblings #i am always thinking about how he is a survivor of the world's cruelest atrocities #and the worst part is is that these atrocities are *ongoing* #that is almost a millenia of persecution and torture and fear and just bare bones survival #paired with the burden of shouldering every other grisha's plight #and not only that but being viewed inherently as monstrous by his oppressors AND his people #because he is outcast by both #like when you stop to think about his character for more than two seconds it is utterly horrifying

[sidewalk-scrawls]

Actually Izzy did not "want this," and it's weird that people keep saying that he did!

#ofmd #izzy hands #also... god have people on this site ever had a conversation with another human person and if so.... how did they survive it? #if you always imagine people mean the worst possible interpretation of what they say then you're in for a bad time in the real world lmao #and yes i know these tags are putting way too much weight on a fictional interaction but good god #don't you all get tired

[ichthyorelationships]

an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....

the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc

#luca 2021 #pixar luca #alberto scorfano #another idea i've failed to write for & so invite anyone else to run with: ciao alberto but what if he peaces out by swimming off lol #ends up in a coastal town maybe an hour's swim from genoa. but not Getting In Touch w/anyone for a while b/c plausibly he thinks that #giulia may not be a fan of him now by extension; just being too embarrassed asf to reach out to luca kinda lol....luca off doing his own #thing just fine & alberto not wanting to write him now like b/c i Ruined Everything again ahaha.... #and by ''not in touch w/anyone for a while'' who knows. months; a few years even....might stumble across news of him b/c like. #say more sea folk are coming to land / more humans know abt them & not many places are as [harpoon]ly from the start anyways #portorosso exceptional in that way....maybe where alberto settles down they're like legendary but also considered Good Luck anyways lol. #anyways like some people know of him who might; say; swim down to portorosso. have their own teen who knows a teen who mostly lives on land #most convenient re sparking [wow could they mean Our alberto] if he doesn't go so far as to take up an alias lol. but why would he.... #that difference in that massimo might figure that however alberto was surviving before; he could continue to do so now; but even though tha #is some comfort it's still Not Actually Enough....feeling way more Parentally towards alberto than his biological dad like that; obv #and anyways re: this [The Change gets messed up] idea it's more of an inconvenience lol but one that could still have some significance #like if he first finds out the issue exists via hopping right into the ocean; failing to change forms; never being human form'd in water b4 #thee worst....crash intro course to the experience of drowning. observation of How Humans Swim / being able to grab any part of the boat... #and besides That unpleasantness it's like; hey. where's my nonhuman form at #or; of course; being in sea form even while dry....especially if he's still dealing with Nonsense on land. which is presumed. #&/or if there's an upswing in nonsense b/c of Other ways you're Othered...ofc we can consider like; tfw you're a gay fish & maybe that's no #something that on its own would be like Aah until it's like well a) i kinda wanna do things that would make this Visible and b) i've learne #that humans also Have Issues about this kind of thing.... #appropriately my tablet was also all thrown off. no pressure sensitivity; input sensitivity overall was rough #but i would've had to restart my laptop about it lol like eh i'll just work around it

[shima-draws]

Rewatching a playthrough of Danganronpa and it actually shocks me how chill Monokuma is. Even when Kyoko goes around stealing his shit and he finds Makoto with it later he's like. Yeah okay. I don't hold it against you or anything it's cool. LMAO

He has every available opportunity to just kill everyone whenever, especially when they break the rules, but he never does. I really love villains who stick to their own rules so it's fair for everyone else :")

#Danganronpa #Okay listen I know a lot of people hate Monokuma (some of my own friends included) #But I LOVE him. Okay. I adore him #His personality is great he's a cheerful asshole who kills kids for fun. And he's not ashamed about it. #He follows his own rules to a T and jokes around with the kids and offers them hints when they need it #He's the worst person in the world. The person who controls him has slaughtered thousands. #He's the cause of all the world's chaos. He's also a cute widdle teddy bear. #I hate him so much I love him. Does that make sense? Lol #It's hard to find really compelling villains like him and Junko #HE'S BATSHIT CRAZY! HE'S UNHINGED! AND HE'S FUCKING ADORABLE!! #Also it's crazy to me that Junko could literally just walk out and leave and end the game but she DOESN'T #She follows her rules through to the end. And executes herself #No normal villain would do that. A normal villain would do anything to escape and survive after they've lost #She just accepts her defeat with grace. I hate her guts but I respect the HELL out of her #Shima speaks

[sipping-ambrosia-wine]

i wanted to weigh bad faith readings vs how clumsy the writing in Weapons Factory actually was to make people dislike luminara so much and. wow. she literally falls to her knees and despairs when she thinks barriss is dead.

#luminara unduli #luminara my beloved none of these bitches understand you 💚💚💚 #tcw #the clone wars #barriss offee #people really condemn her for being heartless and joke about how expendable barriss is to her #as though she wasnt entirely FLOORED by the idea of having lost her #all she knew was that barriss and ahsoka were ground zero of the explosion that took out the entire factory #like how on earth do you twist that against her? #dgmw the writing is pretty weird but the odds of them surviving were NOT great like come on #mine #they tried for anakin & ahsoka vs luminara & barriss for a hope vs pessimism comparison but then only show the drawback to facing reality #it wouldve been better if anakin had insisted they waste time searching the tunnels bc he KNOWS they got out in time #vs luminara overcoming her grief to push to search the center of the blast as thats objectively where theyre most likely to find them #and its actually a miracle on the master's pov when theyre found alive despite lumi's doubts but not where anakin wouldve had them looking #the padawan team ahsoka's trust wins out but barriss's perspective braces them for the worst #meanwhile luminara tackles not giving up and anakin DOESNT face the facts and luminara gives the wise words of needing to be able to let go

[simptasia]

my mum died last night

#i was with her. i spoke comforting words to her as her breathing slowed #she didn't suffer - she wasn't in any pain. she heard me and became slower and slower then i... saw her die #i never predicted i'd be there at the moment of death #it was her time. her body had been slowly shutting down the last three days and she'd been officially dying for 5 months #she was so strong. she was hanging on for me. needing to know i'd be able to survive with her gone #once it was clear that things were gonna be fine (besides the emotional toll) she started to truly let go #i've been with her whenever i could be the last three days. and night nurses watched her as i slept #last nights nurse woke me to be with her in her final moments #besides hearing me talk the last few days - i was also running star trek for her to listen to #she couldn't communicate or move but we all knew she was aware of things around her #i gave her words of reassurance and comfort and the last words she heard me say were ''i love you'' #and three days ago before she lost the ability to speak the last words she managed were ''i love you'' #so things went as well as they could be considering the situation #she died a little over 12 hours ago. it was 7 hours before they could take the body away. that was. haunting #it's been a rough day. worst day of my life. but mum is at peace now. and i have a lot of kind people to support me #everything will be okay eventually and i have my whole life ahead of me and mum wants that life to be good #so i musn't give up. now matter how depressed i feel

[craycraybluejay]

yes i am an adult male who loves high school dramas this is because i literally never experienced normal coming of age drama like ever and am disconnected from the collective experience of having a relatable peer group forever hope that helps

#i JUST want to experience high school #without like. my whole shitty life thing having gone on #i want to go to high school and have stupid drama and sexuality crises and worries about grades #not... That #i never had that im never going to have that #can i get (one) permission to go a little crazy if i survive into a university #fuck everyone befriend and be-enemy everyone get all up in peoples stupid mind numbingly low stakes drama #i want that sweet golden experience where the worst thing ill ever fear is annoying my classmates #or accidentally spilling something on someone at a dance #i deserve it i deserve to have had a childhood and a young adulthood and a life #i deserve to have dealt with unserious issues to prepare me for bigger ones #rather than serious danger that leaves me permanently severed from normal people and life #and makes me incapable of reacting proportionally or finding it in me to care about less serious problems #like yes it sucks your mom is going to miss college graduation #but i thank my lucky stars that you are not dying or being abused or starved or beaten or exploited #i literally dont know how to take things seriously a lot of the time like im not able to even if i try #because to me the mildest real problem is someone purposefully isolating you and ruining your health #the MILDEST #i try to care ab simple stuff i really do i just CANT #and it sucks so much trying to be a good friend and kind feeling like i cant do enough #the loud thought 'i wish that hapoened to me/i wish i worried about that/i wish the people i love only had that as a problem' #i get so envious. like thank fucking god your parents divorced like normal adults when it should be over #thank fucking god that 'friend' cut you off when they were actively insulting you and betraying your trust #thank the fucking universe that shitty partner dumped you before you fkn hurt yourself over them #yk? #and its a 'mean/cold' way to think about it but i just dont have the capacity to think or feel the little picture #i can imagine my friends subjected to such horror even tho i dont want to

[fightingdragonswithwho]

*taps mic* is anyone still here ?

#hi people on my phone <3 #been busy making the absolute worst mess out of my life #i’m here if anyone still care about my silly thoughts and posts 💀 #maybe i should come back to this silly website my life was so much more peaceful before #started practicing gaytholicism and it’s hard idk how people survive this #i’ll shut up sidosokdjf #ana! shut up

[wonder-worker]

"The newly widowed Elizabeth (Woodville) was exceptionally vulnerable. Several of the trustees responsible for her jointure refused to hand over the manors that were meant to sustain her in her widowhood. Moreover, her brother-in-law, Edward Grey, had seized estates that her son Thomas should have inherited from his paternal grandfather, while her mother-in-law’s new young husband, Sir John Bourchier, had prevailed on Lady Ferrers to settle her principal properties on them jointly for life, ensuring that Thomas would have to wait far longer for this inheritance too. Rivers and Scales were pardoned in July 1461 and swiftly moved into the Yorkist establishment, which perhaps explains the success of the chancery suits Elizabeth launched to regain her jointure. Her son’s inheritance proved harder to recover. By 1463, Rivers was often in (Edward IV's) company and on his council, but Elizabeth needed someone with much stronger influence over the King. She turned to a distant kinsman, William, Lord Hastings, the King’s chamberlain. Hastings drove a very hard bargain for his aid but it was probably amid these negotiations that the King’s desire for Elizabeth was kindled."

-J.L. Laynesmith, "Elizabeth Woodville: the Knight's Widow", "Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts: Power, Influence, and Dynasty"

#historicwomendaily #elizabeth woodville #Elizabeth really had terrible in-laws #And these people weren't even the worst of them - that particular award goes to Richard of Gloucester #As complicated as her first widowhood sounds it was a breeze compared to the literal nightmare she went through during her second. #Honestly though: part me wonders what Elizabeth's first marriage was like because we know absolutely nothing about it. #The marriage itself is a blank slate but the fact that her husband's parents & siblings were so indifferent and uncooperative #to her - and their own kid-grandchildren?? - after he died indicates that his family may have been rather dysfunctional imo? #Certainly they (or most of them) don't seem to have cared about the wellbeing or dignity of his young and newly widowed wife which #doesn't exactly suggest closeness or support during the marriage itself from their end. #Elizabeth doesn't mention John Gray in her deathbed will either though she mentions Edward IV. She may have thought it was #'inappropriate' to mention her first husband beside her significantly higher-ranked second husband...but she DOES mention her son by #her first marriage - which would have drawn attention to it anyway - alongside her royal daughter so that's unlikely to have been a reason. #Maybe it was simply the passage of time? She and John had been married for very few years and she lived such a different life after that #So it's possible that her first marriage simply seemed very distant and faraway to her. #Alternatively it may have simply been undivided affection for Edward IV (her husband of 19 years who she married for love) #which fits well into the relatively personal nature of her will. #Of course we don't actually know anything about any of this and this is all pure wild speculation on my end...but I'm curious. #It's really a shame how little we actually know about Elizabeth's life - made worse by the very limited primary records of Edward IV's #reign and the fact that his chamber records don't survive. And it's even more frustrating that this is so rarely actually acknowledged #by historians. I'd argue we know far more about the life & interests of most other 'prominent' women of the Wars of the Roses #(sans the Neville sisters) than we do about Elizabeth Woodville.

[askblueandviolet]

do not worry mayor, i got your "cool" pun, tee hee

#lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid fanart #monkie kid #monkie kid fanart #lmk #lmk fanart #lmk mayor #monkie kid mayor #lmk macaque #monkie kid macaque #blue and violet #I knew at some point the Mayor had to make a pun relating to 'cool' #honestly i know this guy would make the absolute worst dad jokes if given the chance #and the worst thing about those jokes is that people will never understand them straight away #they are too silly #Macaque was too caught up on Baihe potentially dying to realise the pun lmao #and Baihe was too busy having an existential crisis regarding if she should actually kill people to survive

[ink-asunder]

Look, not to get Bitchy on Main as a fussy psychotic again, but I hate how people perceive "going and investigating a noise" in horror films.

"If this were a horror film, you'd be dead," "you have no sense of self-preservation," "white people just wanna die," etc. It's all ableist if you are a) psychotic and b) experience paranoia when you hear weird sounds.

I suffer from perceptual distortions the most--thats a type of hallucination where you're hearing or seeing a REAL thing, but your brain just can't tell what it is, so you see or hear something different. So when I hear a noise that I don't recognize, my brain will literally start changing it and I WILL hear voices and shit. It's scary!! But if I go look for the noise and see that "oh, it's just rain dripping off the roof and onto a trashcan," then it's problems solved! Hallucination over! Peace is restored!

Why do 5 year olds who are afraid of noises get to go on "let's find out what that noise is so it doesn't scare you anymore" night walks, but psychotic adults DON'T?! It's sanism. Stop.

Furthermore, yall need to grow the FUCK up about sounds. Not everything is a murderer waiting to kill you. Sometimes the stranger in the house is a handyman who had the key to the apartment and just didn't realize anyone was home. I have psychotic paranoia and even I'm not as paranoid and frightened of everything as you. Grow up.

#this is also just a rural kid thing #the amount of times ive had a townie friend say “i heard a demon!” and its just like. a fox. #look you guys want to live in a world thats more interesting than reality. i get it. #its partly a survival reflex to assume the worst. but like have some self awareness. be reasonable. #lets psychotic people investigate things and stop demonizing them for it. jesus. #ableism #saneism #sanism #ablism #actually psychotic #psychosis #actually schizospec #hallucinations

[teatitty]

I love writing Dandelion because he's a performer. An unreliable narrator of his own life. He exaggerates and lies through his teeth and will dig and dig and dig into the backstory of a friend but clam up the second you ask him anything about his own and find ways to deflect and demure. He's hyperaware of how people view him and just doesn't seem to care. If you think he's a silly bard without a brain that's how he'll act for you and if you only see him as a flirt who makes terrible jokes that's how he'll act for you, he puts on whatever mask he thinks people want most from him which is why it's so compelling that his bestest friend in the whole wide world is Geralt - a Witcher who can effortlessly see through it all and strip him down to his bones if he wants to

Truly the mortifying ordeal of being Known

#the witcher books #meta post #kinda sorta it's close enough #it annoys me a lot how many people assume he must've been the worst spy ever #because if he was truly as bad as all that he wouldn't have survived the war for so long with such a position #you forget that he doesn't *always* travel with geralt #obviously he knows how to look after himself he just turns off some of that self-preservation #when he's with his friends because he's safe enough to do so #and geralt's not exactly the bees knees either for a witcher whose lived for a hundred years #you'd think he'd know better than to use a fish hook and wire to sew a wound shut but nooooooo #it's part of the best friend code that when you're together you become dumb as fuck and do stupid shit

[misunderstood-ace]

I don't think there was any queer writers in the room when they wrote Wedding Impossible.

#wedding impossible #no queer person would think being scared of coming out is cowardise #most of us heard a relative making fun (at best) of gay ppl #or wishing death (at worst) on gay ppl #we dont stay closeted to annoy straight people #we are scared for our life #just like anyone who possess basic survival instinct

[snixx]

me: *explains why and how they hurt me and why I really didn't want to bring this up because I just broke up with my best friend and favourite person in the whole world and im tired of losing people and being too much but also they really hurt me and I consider them one of the closest people to me and I want to be honest*

them: ...

them: sorry

me: ...

them: *offers no further explanation*

me: ...

them: ...idk what else to say I have no excuse im sorry

me: uh. okay it's fine (I guess)

them: so how are you

me: fine i guess [elaborates]

them: ah.

me: how are you what's up

them: fine.

*20 minutes of extremely painful one sided conversation later*

them: hey I gotta go *doesn't reach out again. for weeks now*

#fuck everyone im so done #im so tired of constantly realizing im carrying all my relationships on my back #and the people i love the most just dont give a shit #like fuck offff if one of my friends told me i was hurting them id do everything to make it right #especially if they were apprehensive but still comunicated clearly instead of just secretly resenting me #and they were already going through a lor #*lot #why do i have the worst taste in friends why are relationships so exhausting #whatever. i lost my best friend and genuinely thought i lost my other best friend for most of last year anyway i can survive this #if you don't care then i dont care #vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com #they always made fun of me for caring too much anyway. ill give that energy to my friends who actually care back