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violetsaffron5 · 1 year

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Dirty Little Secret (1)

Taglist • Ao3 • Social Media • Discord 18+ • Masterlists • Chapter 2 →

↳ 1 | Unholy

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x f!Reader

Gojo Satoru is many things: family man, politician, someone the public believes they can trust. It’s how he’s gotten where he is in life. Hidden beneath the façade is a man with many guilty pleasures – you being one of them.

words: 7.3k

cw: explicit drugs use, mention of alcohol, infidelity (not on reader), vaginal fingering, rough sex, spit kink, spit as lube, breeding kink, degradation, dacryphilia, exhibitionism

an: This was just going to be a oneshot based on the song "Unholy" by Sam Smith, but then I had an idea for a small part 2

an2.0: if you would like to read part 2, that one got tagged with a community lable. Please make sure you have those on, this post will tell you how to enable that as well.

His wife probably thought she was the luckiest woman in the world when he got down on one knee, professed his love and said he wanted to spend the rest of his life by her side.

She probably felt even luckier, everything going according to their life plan when she found out she was pregnant with his children, starting a loving family with one of the most prominent politicians Tokyo has to offer.

She’d kick him out if she ever knew the way you stand between his legs, moving your shoulders, chest and hips to the beat of the bass blasting in the club. The way his eyes watch your hands trailing the length of your body before putting his own on your skin.

She’d divorce him on the spot if she knew the way you grind on his hips, the way his fingers caress every inch of your skin when he comes to see you.

She would never let him touch her again if she knew how he touched you, in all the ways she won’t let him do to her, in all the ways he really wants, the ways he enjoys.

Of course you’re aware of the wife - it would be impossible not to be. The picture-perfect family, an ideal trophy wife, two children. That’s his spiel, how he got into office and maintained his position over the years. He’s a father, a family man; understands the struggle and just how hard it is to maintain a happy healthy family - just like the average working person.

A politician you can trust because he’s just like you.

You’ve never seen or met her, steering clear of anything that has to do with Satoru during the day, but from your understanding he spends a lot of time with his kids when he has free time in the mornings and afternoons.

In the evenings he finds himself with you. Long legs spread wide as he sits back on the plush couch, you dropping your hips down onto his, grinding on him until you feel his cock harden from your touch.

It’s a miracle she hasn’t found out about the shit Satoru does behind her back; it’s a miracle nobody has. Sure he tries to be as discreet as possible, entering clubs through the back, paying for private rooms, private dances all the while spending thousands on sex, drugs and alcohol.

That’s how the two of you met. You were on stage, twirling, spinning and sliding your way down and around a pole in the most provocative positions. Satoru walked in with his three best friends; a man with long raven locks, one with a scar over the right side of his lip, and another with several tattoos over his face.

Satoru immediately caught your attention, with his messy hair, white as freshly fallen snow hanging over his eyes, eyes that were covered by dark square sunglasses, shielding them from your view. You watched him lick his lips, talk to your manager and head to a room in the back with his friends.

You couldn’t see his eyes, but you could feel his gaze burning into you with every flip of your hair, shimmy of your waist and hips in his direction.

You didn’t realize who he was at this point, not that it has ever really mattered.

It started with him coming to see you, paying to have you as the lone private dancer - sometimes for just him, sometimes with his friends. He’d tip you an exorbitant amount each time, enough of you to buy the Gucci handbag you’ve had your eye on for some time.

Eventually, when he realized you figured out who he is and weren’t talking about the shit you’ve seen him do, he easily charmed you with his honeyed words and wicked ways, inviting you to continue to the party elsewhere when your performances had ended.

Satoru likes to spend money, always seems to have too much of it, if the tips he leaves you with are anything to judge him by. Always enough to buy the latest Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Versace without batting an eye.

All because you’re so good to him, he says.

He likes to get his hands on the finest white powders money can buy; likes to snort lines off your tits before rolling the remaining into dainty joints for you to smoke; likes to watch you with his own lazy, crooked smile as the smooth burn fills your lungs.

You’re consistent, staying out of his life and daily affairs. It’s part of what he likes so much about you.

You never ask for more, knowing he’s not willing to give it. It’s why he keeps coming back to you, there’s no desire to be a part of the drama that would ensue if anyone outside of his circle of friends ever found out about you.

It’s why you had no problem signing the NDA he presented on your first night out together.

Satoru knows when he needs it, you’ll be there; when he wakes in the morning, you’ll be gone. Not wanting any part of the lives you lead outside of the clubs and hotel rooms you frequently find yourselves in.

The bright lights from the city faded from the rear view mirror some time ago. Things are different tonight, seemingly calmer than you’ve ever experienced before with the man sitting to your right over the year you’ve been seeing each other.

He shifts gears while humming along to the tune playing softly in the background as the two of you sit in a comfortable silence.

The car is extravagant. It suits him and you wouldn’t expect anything less to be honest. It’s the kind of car where the doors open up, rather than out, the leather seats are a dark black while the exterior is a stark white matching his hair.

The small space smells like a mix of his cologne, bergamot and honey, along with the perfume you always put on before going out with him.

This is the longest you’ve ever spent in his vehicle, unless he’s pulled off to the side of the road or in an abandoned parking lot either with you on his lap or spread out in the back seat as he fucks into you.

Satoru hasn’t spoken a lot tonight, just asked if you wanted to hang out after work and ushered you into his car on an empty street like usual. Obviously he’s taking you away tonight but you’re not sure where and trying not to care too much, so you don’t ask.

Doing that would change the aloof nature of your relationship and you’re not ready for any of those dynamics to be different, nor do you think he would be receptive to it.

“I can’t stay long,” he breaks the silence first, pulling into a hotel roughly forty five minutes away on the outskirts of Tokyo, “and I need to be sober. But, you can have fun and I’ll drive you home later.”

Satoru’s never taken you home before, though with his connections and power you wouldn’t be surprised if he knew where you live regardless. When you’ve stayed the night together before, you’re always up early and make sure to leave before he wakes up. Not only because you shouldn’t be with him, but also because you’ve never been one to stick around for awkward morning conversations or expectations.

You nod with a quiet “okay,” while he hands you a basic black face mask while putting on his own. He also takes off his tie, throwing it in his pocket and undoing a few of the top buttons on his shirt before putting on a matching black sock hat to cover his hair.

Stepping out of the car, you adjust your tiny black dress and hair before looping your arm in with Satoru’s making your way into the glamorous hotel, past the concierge and to the elevator.

Even when trying to be discreet, Satoru and his friends can’t help the luxuries they like to surround themselves with. He says he can’t stay and has to be sober, but that didn’t stop any of them from choosing a hotel with chandeliers, gold decor and marble floors covering every inch of the lobby.

When you get to the top floor of the hotel, there are only a few doors in the hall. Satoru knocks on one a few times before it’s quickly opened, allowing the two of you in. The space is more akin to an apartment than a hotel room - a small kitchen off to one side, a large bedroom with its own door separating the space from what serves as the living room.

There are floor to ceiling windows covering every inch of wall space, overlooking the small, lively city below. Chandeliers hang in this room too, the bathroom has similar marble flooring to the lobby with a shower that could easily fit ten, along with a jacuzzi.

Suguru is sitting on a chair reclined back with a woman who could easily be a model on his lap. He has a joint between his fingers, bringing it to his lips and taking a drag before holding it up to hers. She accepts with a grin, hand on his chest while the other fiddles with his hair.

Toji and Sukuna are sitting on a love seat next to Suguru, doing what they always seem to be doing - cutting too many lines of a soft white powder on a mirrored plate with a credit card before rolling one of their bills and inhaling, taking turns.

There are several other women in the room with a few other guys you don’t recognize - they’re all busy grinding to the beat of the music playing, glasses of champagne in their hands.

You never know who Toji and Sukuna are going to have with them - it’s seemingly a new girl each time you’re around. Aside from yourself and the girl on Suguru’s lap you’ve seen a few times, you’re the only constant.

Then again, you don’t know what goes on, on the other nights of the week that Satoru doesn’t come to whisk you away. You’ve never bothered to ask, never wanting to know how many other women he has, just like you, waiting to have his attention for the night.

Toji walks over, the mountain of a man that he is, emerald green eyes gleaming with mischief as he looks you up and down, biting his scarred lip before saying, “lookin’ great, as always.”

You’re smiling, unable to help the blush that creeps onto your cheeks from his intense gaze, but don’t respond because Satoru has moved his hand to your waist, pulling you in closer to him.

“Can you fuck off and leave my girl alone?” Satoru says without a trace of humor and you’re reeling more from his words than you should be.

His girl.

You don’t let yourself think too hard about it. You know what this is, what it always will be.

What it can never be.

You’re shrugging as Satoru pulls you away, moving his hand from your waist down to your ass, grabbing a handful before removing his hand completely, sitting on the couch next to Suguru, across from where Sukuna was before, who is now missing.

Satoru likes it when you wear the things you buy with his money - showing him you appreciate what he’s given you. Every once in a while you’ll buy a new handbag or jewelry to show off but mainly you spend it on little dresses to flaunt around in front of him, something easily accessible and removable, the way he likes it.

Sitting on the couch, resting your head on Satoru’s shoulder listening to the way his voice reverberates through his chest as he talks with Suguru, you absentmindedly draw little shapes on his chest wondering why he brought you with him tonight. The only thing you’ve been doing since you got here is listen to them discuss things you’re not interested in talking or hearing about, things that have to do with their work.

A soft quiet sigh leaves your lips as you watch Suguru pack and roll another joint for himself and his guest. Satoru hears and cocks his head in your direction before capturing your lips with his own quickly.

“You can join them. I’ll take care of you tonight.”

“It’s not fun without you,” you’re running your thumb across his lower lip, wiping away the lipstick that’s smeared on the corner. He grins before biting the tip of your thumb, swirling his tongue around it.

After a few moments, you pull your thumb away and he clicks his tongue before reaching into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet and a little clear plastic baggie with a white powder that was embedded deep within, “this would be fun for you. Just need a little.”

Your brows are furrowed; it’s a different soft crystalline powder than you’ve seen him have before, “what is it?”

“A stimulant,” he replies generically, his grin is wide as he puts his wallet back in his pocket. Satoru tells you to take the water bottle that’s on the table beside you and drink it because you’ll want to stay hydrated and then to wet the tip of one of your fingers with your tongue.

You grin, looking up at him through thick lashes before putting your index finger in his mouth. He chuckles before rolling his tongue on it a few times. Listening to his instructions, you dip your finger into the baggie and suck the powder off - it doesn’t taste like anything. All you’re able to taste is the slight spearmint flavor from his spit.

After dipping your finger back into the baggie you hold it up for him. He watches you, eyes dark, stern and unamused. Satoru sees the way your shoulders slump slightly when he doesn’t accept it and the way your lower lips juts out slightly, pouting - it’s barely noticeable, but he sees it.

You’ve never asked for more from him over the last year, and you’ve been so good to him during that time too.

“Fuck, okay, but this is it.”

“Okay.” You reply quietly, the corner of your lip tugging upwards.

The boys continue their conversation and you’re not sure how much time has passed but as you watch Satoru’s sharp jaw as he speaks, the planes of his cheeks and slope of his nose you also realize his pupils have dilated tremendously. They’re more black than blue at this point.

You’ve also noticed you’ve been drawing little circles on the palm of your hand this entire time - the touch of your own skin feels so good that you can’t help but reach for Satoru and run your nails up and down the length of his arm. He tilts his head towards you, smirks and pulls you closer so your legs are resting atop his as he follows suit on your bare legs.

The contact feels incredible, like little tingles of electricity each time his nails run up and down the length of your legs slowly. Every once in a while he moves his hand up your thigh, towards the hem of your dress which makes you gasp, more and more slick pooling in the center of your panties with each pass of his hand.

“So, the wife is finally suspicious about where you go at night, huh?” Suguru asks smoothly as Toji and Sukuna come back over and sit on the small couch across from you.

Sukuna lights another joint, taking a long drag before adding, “everyone is suspicious about what we’re up to. That’s nothing new.”

Satoru sighs before leaning his head against the back of the couch, “just need to make sure nothing gets out. It’ll affect more than just us and our families if it does.”

“Awe,” you coo, “trouble in paradise?”

Satoru is snide with his remark as he glares at you from the corner of his cold blue eyes, “why? Wish I was married to you?”

You grin, leaning up to whisper in his ear, “you wish.”

“What about you?” He asks suddenly, “hiding me from anyone?”

Satoru grabs the little bag of powder and opens it again, so you do the same as you did last time; lick the tip of your index finger, dip it in and place a little on your tongue before doing the same for him.

“Nope, not worth it.”

This is the first time either of you have really acknowledged your lives outside of what you do when you’re together, typically avoiding any and all topics that have to do with personal lives.

Tonight is different and you don’t know why though you’re not exactly putting in any effort to change it.

Satoru has never worried or cared if his friends made a comment about how good you look or showed interest in hooking up with you but tonight he’s more possessive of your interactions. Holding you closer, letting details of his family and day to day life slip in conversation like he never has before.

“This feels so good,” you rasp out, taking in the feeling of his hands moving along your legs and mostly thighs at this point, so you move to straddle him. Satoru runs his large hands up your thighs slowly and under your dress to your ass, gripping hard as you press your body up against his chest, “need you.”

“I can’t tonight,” it’s a whisper filled with desperation because he wants to.

Satoru’s grip on your hips tightens as he lowers you down onto his lap so you can feel just how badly he wants you too. A whimper leaves your lips when he guides you to roll your hips on top of his before moving his hands to the insides of your thighs.

“Fuck, you’re dripping.” He hisses when he feels your arousal running down your leg and quickly loses his resolve, moving your panties to the side and running two fingers through your soaked folds.

It’s easy to forget, with the way he’s easily able to insert two fingers into your pussy and find your sweet spot, that the two of you aren’t the only ones in the room. Foreheads pressed together, mouths agape as you cup his cheek, rutting your hips in time with his hand as he brings you closer and closer to the brink of your release.

Satoru moves a hand from your hip to your throat, squeezing gently at the base while your eyes roll to the back of your head in pleasure. Each touch, each pass of his fingers on your g-spot is euphoric.

There’s slick coating his hand, up to his wrist - you’re wet, wetter than you ever have before and you’re doing everything in your power to move your hips with his hand so his palm stays tightly pressed against your clit. You’re mewling, whimpering, never wanting this feeling to end, almost ready to beg him to keep you like this forever.

You’re so taken back with each others touch, the way you hold him close, card your fingers through his hair and drag your nails through his undercut; the way your breaths are mingling with one another as you’re so overcome with desire and pleasure you can’t even warn him that the thread barely keeping you together is about to snap before you’re moaning out his name and he’s whispering “fuck, that’s it,” as you absolutely gush on his hand.

Capturing your lips again the kisses are messy and needy until you’re both snapped back to reality by the sounds of Toji laughing, “damn, that was quite the show. You gonna need some help with her?”

Satoru sighs, running his thumb across your lips before moving you off his lap and standing, entwining his fingers with yours, “fuck off, Fushiguro. Find someone your own age to hang out with.”

He leads you out of the room and back down to the lobby of the hotel. You’re sure you’re about to leave for the night, before he lets temptation ruin him but rather than leading you out, he stops at the receptionist's desk, where a young man is standing, asking for a room.

There’s a smile that spreads across your face and you can’t even help it, a feeling of superiority spreading through your body that he’s choosing to spend the night with you, rather than whatever obligation was holding him back earlier.

“Hi,” you smile and wave at the receptionist while biting your lip. His eyes are flicking between you and Satoru as he looks for an open room.

It’s thrilling, being out with Satoru - there’s always that underlying thought, the excitement around potentially getting caught, even though that isn’t something either of you actually want.

Your heart is threatening to beat out of your chest, either because of the reality of the two of you being caught due to a snap decision on his part to stay the night or because of the drugs you took earlier, you’re not sure but you don’t let yourself dwell on it.

Satoru tilts his head in your direction, eyeing you up and down with a frown, “don’t fucking flirt with another man in front of me.”

“Oh, jealousy is not a good look on you.”

Before Satoru is able to reply, the receptionist cuts in, handing Satoru the keycard to a room along with a pamphlet of information about amenities the hotel provides. When the receptionist finishes his spiel Satoru carefully looks him over.

“If anything leaks from here, I’ll know it was from you and I will make your life a living hell. I will take anything and everything you hold dear to your heart and ruin it. You will be nothing but a broken man by the time I’m done with you. Understood?”

The man stands with wide eyes as he replies in a hurried, shaky voice, “o-okay. Understood.”

And then Satoru grins like an angel before pulling you along with him, to take you up to the room and fuck you like the devil he truly is.

He pulls you into the elevator, hiding both of your faces from the camera by pushing you into the wall of the confined space, lips latched while your tongues glide against one another, hips rutting into the other looking for stimulation.

When the elevator dings, he stumbles backwards dragging you along with him, keeping your lips connected until right outside the space where he lifts you, and you wrap your legs around his waist while he pulls the keycard out of his pocket. You busy yourself with kissing along his jaw and neck while he finds the room you were assigned, swiping the card and kicking the door closed once he’s walked through the threshold.

The room is large, and grand but nowhere near as extravagant as the one you were in earlier, not that it really matters considering the only focus is the plush king size mattress he lets you softly fall onto.

Satoru doesn’t waste any time unbuttoning his shirt and slacks, throwing them haphazardly across the room while you slip the dress off, along with your panties, waiting in the center of the bed for him to join you.

And he does, with a salacious grin spread across his face crawling over to you, pushing you further into the mattress while you spread your legs, feeling his long, thick cock press against your soaked entrance.

“Wait, wait,” you gasp out, one hand on his shoulder, the other on his cheek, “condom.”

He stares at you like you’ve just shot him square in the chest before furrowing his brows, “No. We’ll- I’ll- fuck- I’ll pull out, I have to feel you.”

Satoru doesn’t have many rules - first and foremost, above all else, stay out of the limelight and his family's business and do not talk to anyone about the details of your relationship with him without a lawyer present if anyone should find out.

After that it’s simple, really only two other rules to abide by; take your birth control pills on time and wear a condom. And he’s been adamant about that until tonight. He’s always stated he didn’t want to risk getting anything and passing it to his wife because that would be a fucking nightmare to try and explain his way out of, but it would be an even bigger problem if he were to get you pregnant.

All of that seems to be out of the window tonight because he effortlessly pushes in past your entrance. He moans sinfully at the feeling while your eyes roll to the back of your head and arch your back, “you’re so wet, this- oh fuck- fuck, you feel so good.”

“What about your wife?” You manage to gasp out, mouth open, eyes half lidded, nails digging into his shoulder as he moves so painfully slowly that it’s amazing.

The heightened sense of touch, the feeling of him with nothing in between is intoxicating, makes your head a little dizzy, feeling every inch of his length as he pulls out and pushes back in.

“You jealous, baby?” He mutters, eyes hazy with lust, “want me to fuck you the way I do my wife?”

He pulls almost all the way out before snapping his hips back into yours causing you to stutter out, “fuck, n-no, no.”

“Think I’ll leave my wife, leave my family for a stripper?” His cock twitches at his words but he doesn’t move his hips again, doesn’t give you what you need so you wrap your legs around his waist and rock your hips against him the best you’re able, “I’ve fucking thought about it, having you like this every day.”

His large hands span your hips, halting your movements as he sits back up and pulls out to your dismay.

“Beg me.” He demands, running the red tip of his cock across your hypersensitive folds, nudging your clit a few times in the process just to watch the way you squirm below him, “beg me to fuck you.”

He takes a handful of your tits massaging them roughly before leaning down, swirling his tongue on your hardened nipple. He tweaks the other at the same time he tugs the other between his teeth.

“S’toru,” you whine needy and shamelessly, “I- fuck- please, please fuck me. Just- want to feel you, need you, please.”

Satoru watches you through his lashes the way you wriggle and writhe with your nipple tugged gently between his teeth. Cock is straining, leaking precum from the slit on the sheets of the bed - he’s just as needy as you, dying to be touched, to get the stimulation he’s craving just as badly as you but he’s being incredibly patient tonight.

His length is longer, harder and thicker than usual, twitches with your words and every whimper that leaves your lips but he still doesn’t fuck you - he’s waiting. Waiting for you to say he can fuck you, unimpeded and raw.

“Please, Satoru, baby,” tears are forming in the corner of your eyes, threatening to break free if he doesn’t work to extinguish the fire that’s burning in the center of your belly, to give you the release your body is screaming at you to have, “fuck me, please- so hard- always wanted to feel you-”

He can’t hold back anymore, not when you’re laying so pretty on the bed, tears streaming down your cheeks and begging him to give you what he knows only he can. Before you’ve realized what happened, he has you flipped over lining his cock with your entrance before slamming his hips flush with yours.

You cry out his name as he moves his hips with reckless abandon, finally, finally feeding the flames of desire burning in your core. His crystalline eyes are hooded with lust and desire as he grabs your hair at the roots and tugs harshly, other hand on your hip helping keep you in place as he pumps his hips faster and harder.

“You take all of me so fucking well,” he moans, “nobodies ever taken all of me.”

Wet, lewd squelching noises fill the space of the hotel room. You’re so wet from the jolt of electricity that thrums through your body with every touch and every time the tip of his cock grazes your sweet spot, and you’re only getting wetter as he continues to fuck into your rougher and rougher.

You know he’s comparing you to his wife when he babbles aimlessly like this, but you’ve learned to not let it bother you, not to think too much on it. After all, he’s spending his free time with you.

Sex with Satoru has always been good, he always seemed to know what you needed before you did, but tonight is different. Better somehow.

It’s all so much, so euphoric that there’s no way you’re able to hold back your impending orgasm; unable to help the way your thighs shake when the tip of his length kisses your cervix so deliciously you know it’ll ache in the morning.

The moment Satoru drapes his body over yours, fingers drawing small tight circles on your clit is the moment the flames erupt, warmth and pleasure coursing through your veins as your walls spasm and constrict around his cock so hard he has to slow his pace and take a deep shaky breath in order to not follow along right beside you.

He lets go of your hair, kissing your shoulders and center of your back several times before sitting back on the balls of his feet before taking both of your wrists in one of his large hands and holding them behind your back.

Satoru moves his hips slowly a few times before pulling you up so your back is flush with his chest.

“Like it when I fuck you like the filthy slut you are?”

He doesn’t give you a chance to reply before hooking his fingers in your mouth turning your attention to him. Your tongue immediately finds his fingers, swirling over them as you look up to him, eyes so dark and filled with lust you can barely see any of the color anymore. He lets a tail of saliva fall from his mouth into yours and you moan the moment it hits your tongue, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

He lets go of your wrist, splaying one hand over your stomach to feel the bulge from his cock each time he recklessly fucks into you, while the other finds its way to your breast, squeezing and gripping as he looses himself to pleasure inside of you.

There’s a mirror across from you, above the dresser in front of the bed - Satoru’s cheeks and the tips of his ears are pink, down his neck to the top of his chest. Lips parted with eyes on you as he watches and listens to the way you moan and whine from each stroke of his long cock.

“Satoru, cum in me,” his hips falter at your words, “fill me up, please.”

“Baby, I can’t.” But he absolutely wants to.

He pushes you back down on the bed, hand in the center of your back keeping your face pressed against the silky sheets. He takes the opportunity to grip your ass and spread your cheeks, watching the way you take all of him down the base without complaint. He lets his spit fall from his mouth, and watches the way you jolt when it makes contact with your other entrance unexpectedly and slides down to his cock, mixing with your arousal.

Satoru feels the way your pussy has a death grip on his cock again, knows you’re about to cum and he can’t bring himself to pull out. Not when you look and sound so pretty for him, not when you were literally begging for him to cum inside you earlier.

“Fuck, I’m gonna-” he’s moaning at the thought, getting lost inside you, “I’m gonna cum. Gonna fill you so fucking full of me.”

His words are enough to set you off, having your pussy tightening around him like a noose as he paints your walls white, letting out a guttural groan as he rocks his hips back and forth, working you both through your releases.

There’s so much dripping out from between where you’re connected that his efforts to keep it all inside are fruitless. The view is absolutely obscene, cum mixed together and dripping onto the bed sheets below, the sounds are vulgar but it doesn’t stop him from fucking it deep and deeper inside, rolling his neck and head back through the hypersensitivity of his his tip.

Eventually he rolls you over onto your back, both panting, trying to catch your breaths. He’s still half hard, both hissing at the sensation when he runs his cock up through your puffy folds, dragging his wet, heavy cock on your stomach when he leans up and places several languid kisses to the center of your chest.

He licks a strip from your chest to jaw before sucking several small red starbursts on your neck, shoulder and down to your tits. Your nails are on his shoulder and back digging into his skin - he groans, loves the feeling, the sharp to dull pain that comes with it.

There’s been an unspoken rule between the two of you, no marks. Not on him at least. It’s more important his body be free from any unknown scratches and little red marks, should the press decide to have a field day seeing them and decide to investigate.

“Love leaving marks on you,” he whispers, voice low, gravely with desire again. “Everyone knows you belong to someone else, don’t they?”

“Yes,” you breathe.

“Tell me baby, who do you belong to?”

“You. Satoru, I’m yours.” You answer a little too honestly, holding his face a little too lovingly. He groans at the confirmation, knows he shouldn’t have made you say it but couldn’t resist hearing it.

You place several kisses on his lips and cheek. Everything is getting progressively sloppier, starting to come down from your respective highs. Satoru’s eyes are half lidded, not only from lust but from a tiredness that’s starting to seep through.

He returns the kisses languidly before you kiss along his jaw, sucking a small spot just under his jaw, nipping at the skin playfully a few times in the process. He doesn’t stop you because he knows that despite not being able to give you all of himself, he’s yours too.

Probably even more than he’s his wifes.

Slowly, he presses his tip against your entrance again, easily slipping past the ring of muscles while you wrap your legs around his waist. He hooks one of his arms under your knee, pushing it up so he’s able to get deeper.

Satoru fucks into you hard and fast like this. It’s messy, wet and sticky with your mixed arousal and cum connecting the two of you. Slick wet sounds fill the room again until you’re both on the brink of another imminent release.

“Think I might fucking love you.” He admits, voice low, filled with lust.

You want to say it back, but you know it’s not true, the shit he says when he’s buried ten inches deep in your cunt, cock bruising your cervix as he fucks into you.

“You’re so wet, already so full of me,” he moans at the thought of cumming inside you again. “G-gonna give you a baby, gonna give you part of me.”

“S’toru,” you gasp at his lust filled desires and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want that too so you move your hips up wantonly, eagerly, “yes, please.”

It’s a bad fucking idea, to let him say these things, to agree with him. But you let him move your knees back to your shoulders, holding the heels of your feet for leverage as he presses his hips into you until you’re both cumming again.

He collapses on top of you, heavy breaths fanning your ear. You lay like this, chests rising and falling against one another until you’re overcome by sleep.

There’s light peeking in through semi-closed curtains, a beam of light hitting your face at the perfect angle, right into your eye. Knitting your brows together, you stifle a yawn before stretching out, feeling a warm body pressed into yours.

Your eyes flutter open, focusing on the dim light of the hotel room. It’s the same as it was last night, pristine, perfect. All except the sheets and blankets that are askew on the bed from your passion filled night.

The silky white sheet is covering most of you, but only on Satoru up to his hips. He must have gotten hot last night, threw everything off him in his sleep.

Looking up to him, his eyes are still closed, eyes moving slightly behind his lids. Soft white lashes flutter slightly with each movement while his arm that’s wrapped around your waist twitches slightly.

Your naked body is pressed against him, skin to skin. One leg is tangled between his while one hand is on his chest.

You let yourself take in the sight, not something you allow yourself to do frequently, but last night was indulgent, so this morning might as well be too. Satoru looks peaceful when he’s asleep. He’s always so calm and collected when you’re with him but never quite like this.

Truly without a care in the world with his eyes closed. No stress about someone finding out about you, exposing his lies and his secret life.

You stay like this for too long, watching him sleep, letting your index finger run along the scar on his chest. He says your name quietly, and you smile, just slightly at the thought of him dreaming about you.

You’re still high, you can tell, feeling light and airy and great about everything, but you know better than to let it last. You’ll be coming down again soon and everything will feel mundane, pointless, bothersome.

So you go to move, push yourself away from him to do your normal routine of getting ready for the day, pretending you were never here with him. His grip around your waist tightens, halting your movements.

“Stay…” Satoru whispers so quietly it’s barely audible.

Pursing your lips you look up at him, eyes still closed, no identifying feature signifying he’s woken up and is really, truly asking you to stay by his side, despite all the shit that would come along with it.

Your heart is beating fast, irregular, but you’re sure it’s from the stimulant. It has to be. Any other reason would be less than ideal.

After all, he probably thinks you’re his wife right now. Laying next to him, snuggled in close like she probably is every other day of the week.

You let out a single low wry chuckle at the morbid thought, licking your lips and shaking your head and whispering, “that’s not a good idea.”

His Adam’s apple bobs up and down and you mentally kick yourself for leaving the incredibly obvious fucking hickey just below his jaw. Satoru’s grip loosens just enough for you to wriggle out of his grasp.

Something you quickly learned after getting involved with Satoru is to have a bag packed at all times. That way in the mornings you can shower, removing the sweat and scents of not only the alcohol or drugs but also his cologne from your skin. It’s important to make it appear like you were never with him, to never leave in the same clothes you’ve arrived in.

After showering, you do your normal daily routine. Moisturizers, hair products, make up. You bring it all and you do it all - it would be no different if you were sitting at home, getting ready for your day.

That’s all this is, isn’t it? Just a routine. Meet a man, party, have mind blowing sex, act as if you’ve never met each other afterwards. Over and over again.

When you step back into the living space of the room, Satoru is no longer lying on his back, but rather his stomach, face buried into the pillow you used last night. His own overnight back is open, evident he had rifled through it for some reason when you were in the shower before climbing back into the bed, ignoring your presence.

Sitting on top is a black Versace sweatshirt. Looking back over to him, he’s unmoving aside from his back raising and falling slightly with each breath. Pursing your lips you quickly decide to grab it out of his bag and throw it into yours.

It’ll smell like him, even if only for a few days.

Picking up your garments from last night, you throw them into your bag before pulling out oversized sunglasses to hide your obviously still blown pupils and throw them on before turning the knob of the door to exit the room.

You don’t bother turning around, checking to see if Satoru watched you walk out. There’s no point. You know he didn’t. This is all routine.

After ensuring the door closes completely, you take a few steps down the hall while the elevator dings and a woman steps out of it.

She’s tall, in a pressed black pencil skirt and blazer. She looks classy with the way her ebony hair falls over her shoulders in soft curls.

She heads down the direction you’re coming from. Neither of you acknowledge the other as you pass by, on your own separate missions. Your breathing picks up, and the air feels tense after noticing the scowl spread across her features. And you all but jump at the sound of her banging on the room door you just walked out of moments prior.

You press the button to the elevator a few times, palms growing more clammy by the second, afraid the two of you might have been caught, that the boy from the front desk didn’t heed Satoru’s warning.

You watch from the corner of your eye as Satoru groggily opens the door, complaining about the loud sound. At least he had enough sense to put on a shirt beforehand, hiding the marks you left across his chest and back.

“You missed our counseling appointment. Is this some kind of joke to you?”

He’s quiet for a moment, eyes adjusting to the bright light of the hall and you could swear his eyes flicker to you for a split second before finally speaking.

“No, of course not. I went out with the guys last night and lost track of time. You know how it is.”

“All too well.”

She pushes past him into the room and you know he didn’t have enough time to do any clean up of his own, that the room still reeks of alcohol, sweat and sex. And if she even bothers to look around, he’ll have to explain why the shower is wet from having been used when he clearly hasn’t washed up.

“Good lord. What have you been doing here? And what is on your neck?”

His hand goes to his jaw instinctively to try to hide the mark you left last night, “uh, cigarette burn. The guys were messing around last night and I got mixed up in the fray.”

He doesn’t seem to be too worried about his wife’s line of questioning because he looks over to you, just as the elevator dings, giving you a smirk.

You watch him from the corner of your eye, biting your lip as you return the sly smile, stepping into the elevator once the doors open knowing he can’t and won’t stay away from you for long.

Taglist: @petalsrdead @sofiaconlaz @lovelylashawnalee @s-witch-bitch @watyousayin

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madelynraemunson · 8 months

Text

CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪

(strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!x reader)

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ MDNI

Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club series (completed)

* loosely inspired by Sara Cate’s “Salacious Players Club” series

🔥 EXTRA CONTENT HERE 🔥

↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014** , 015, 016** , 017, 018, 019, 020*

* = somewhat smutty chapters , ** = smut chapters

Summary: 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐓. After getting kicked out by your brother, you have no other choice but to take off your big girl pants and add stripper to your resume. Desperate to pay the bills and support your little sister, are you willing to accept the risks that come with such a perilous profession? With the stage name ‘Shy Girl’, you take the leap of faith, weaponizing your divine femininity to steal the hearts of all the bachelors in Hawkins — including Eddie Munson’s, the owner of Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club.

warnings & disclaimers — slow burn, eventual smut (a lot of it), voyeurism, mutual pining, sexual tension, jealousy, drug/alcohol, profanities, sexual harassment, domestic violence

Welcome to Hellfire.

theme song: meet you in hell by jade lemac “Look me in my eyes. I know that you’re scared. You see yourself and you cry for help. Look me in my eyes. Tell me it’s not fair. If you taught me well, I’ll meet you in hell.”

Chapter 001: Wolves

The Hargroves are cursed. Generationally, that is. One night Billy takes it too far, costing him the only thing he had left... his sisters.

TW — abuse, domestic violence, blood, profanities, implications of infidelity, death

word count: 8.5k words

author's note: there are four different acts to this introductory chapter :) so much foundation to lay down and i spent forever on this to craft it perfectly for you guys. thank you for being as excited about this fanfic as I am releasing it. i hope you all enjoy! -madelyn

tags: @changemunson , @the-fairy-anon , @ali-r3n

_______________𓆩♡𓆪_______________

"Once I ran to you. Now I run from you."

♡

Duality of man. Mom was always a firm believer in that notion. In fact, she always used to say, "Inside of you, there are two wolves: a good one and a bad one. Depending on which mouth you feed, one will triumph the other.”

It became more evident when she died.

“YOU FUCKING SLUT. GRAB YOUR SHIT AND GO.”

Once identical in every aspect, the differences between you and your brother slowly began to unravel over time.

Being ‘good wolf’ was impossible while living under the same roof as Billy. So you settled for neutral wolf instead. Meanwhile, the big, bad wolf possessed him at age 15, when he realized hitting your father back would get him to back off.

It was 2010, post-homecoming game.

Dad nearly flung Billy into another dimension when he came home. The preferred alternative would have been attempting to reason with one another, but it just wasn’t something that was normalized in the Hargrove household. Communicating with words was a daunting task; but not nearly as daunting as accountability.

“I’M DONE WITH YOU, BILLY. GRAB YOUR SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE.”

“I’m a literal minor, you can’t do this, Dad!” Billy wailed. "PLEASE!"

Over a football game.

The Friday Night Lights were a staple of Vista Palms High School. That and all of its nacho-eating, pot-smoking, LMFAO-playing, neon-filled goodness.

"C’mon V-P, c’mon, let’s beat S-D!” For weeks Billy had been chanting that mantra. There was no clearer indication that it’s where he would be the night of the championship game. He didn’t communicate it, of course, but it was implied. But still, it didn’t cross Dad’s mind.

Any parent who thought their child was coming home on time — and sober — that night was a foolish one. Especially if their kid was a sophomore with senior status.

“You sure as hell don't act like one,” Dad spat. “Coming home, acting all grown." Little did Dad know Billy was there for community service. Billy was a good student. More than anything he wanted a full ride to a UC, mainly to get away from home. Either that or military. Maybe then, walking on eggshells and being accused of something he didn't do — like drinking and doing drugs — would be a seasonal occurence instead of daily. "ACTING LIKE YOU PAY THE BILLS. YOU DON'T. YOUR MOM AND I DO.”

Dad knew he hit a nerve. It was his signature move aside from alienating his victims to establish control. While the feeling of getting your wings clipped really did you in, reactive abuse was Billy's top trigger, especially when Mom was mentioned. After all, Billy was the one who found Her.

Through glassy eyes and gritted teeth, Billy closed up his fists before mustering up the courage to say, “I’m…not…calling Sue... the operative word.”

Dad snarled. “Like there’s anyone else physically here you’ve reserved that title for?”

Oh.

"This tainted love you've given-"

Billy took the bait, lunging forward to grab Dad. As if on cue, Dad winded up his arm, assuming his usual position. You managed to assert yourself between in hopes of stopping them. Suddenly the back of Dad's hand collided with your cheek, sprawling you onto the couch. Billy watched horrified while you fought to keep your eyes open, growing anxious when all you could hear was the room pulsating around you at the highest frequency you had ever heard in your 15 long years of life. Enough was enough.

One punch. Bridge of the nose. Game over. The control Dad had over you both had ceased.

Billy rushed to your aid while Dad took a few moments to gather himself. It was then his beat-in, throbbing eyes realized that the little boy he mercilessly pushed around was no longer there. His own little Frankenstein had taken his place.

"I gave you all a boy could give you"

"Oh my god, Sissy," Billy cried, crouching down to run a soothing hand through your hair. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," you sniff, wrapping a hand around his arm. "I'm fine, Billy. I promise."

"I'm not gonna let that son of a bitch hurt you ever again," he vowed. "I'm gonna fuck him up and anyone else who tries."

"I love you, Brother."

"I love you, Sissy." The magnitude of power that surged through Billy melted into every neuron in his body, the warmth of its adrenaline imitating a tender — long overdue — embrace. He became fully enveloped in what was like an electric current, its tide higher than any wave he's ever surfed. It became more exhilarating than cruising down the I-5 in his Camaro at 130 MPH, and more intoxicating than any keg of beer he's ever swigged at a Wanna-be Project X Party.

It was the rush Billy had been searching for his whole life.

Every high Billy ever pursued before that rapidly declined in value. He would trade in anything for the static that had encoded itself into him. He felt untouchable, a luxury your father couldn’t afford his wife and children.

"YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON HER AGAIN, YOU'RE DEAD DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

From that day forward, feeling respected was a freedom Billy was not willing to sacrifice, ever.

"Take my tears and that's not nearly all-"

But now Billy is the abuser, something you never imagined happening given his innately soft personality.

"Oh, tainted love. Don't touch me! Please.”

Slapping. Biting. Choking each other out. Pulling each other’s hair. Calling each other names. Spitting. Throwing things. Who would’ve thought the Hargrove twins were capable of the same horrors as their parents?

Yesterday was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Billy’s voice, like nails on a chalkboard, clawed at your brain in agonizing intervals.

“That’s all Max is. A pathetic little liar.”

“She will do anything for any bit of attention…even whore herself out to all the men in Del Mar.”

“You can get out. And stay out. Since you wanna act so grown all the damn time.”

He became the very thing — or person rather — he sought to destroy. The very person who indirectly, but explicably killed your mother.

And deep down you feared that if you and your stepsister Max don’t get out of that house, you’d both suffer that same fate.

“It's fucking JULY and 90 degrees out!” your sister retaliated. “What do you want me to wear to the beach? Fucking sweats?"

Max was out with friends the night prior. They hosted a birthday bonfire for her at the beach. She broke curfew and got a ride home from a friend. A guy friend. Billy wasn’t having it.

Max always got the short end of the stick. She was an easy target for Billy’s antics. Being the literal carbon copy of the woman he hates the most didn’t make it any better, and neither did taking the bait whenever Billy dealt it to “keep the peace”. Max believes being and acting helpless would get Billy to back down. It was far from the truth. In reality, she was feeding him his supply.

And what a volatile supply it is.

Mom also had another saying: "Anger is just grief with nowhere to go".

So you watched Billy and Max go back and forth with their pickleball tournament-o-insults, shouting at one another to their lungs’ capacity, their dead, black pupils strangling each other mentally while they gathered the physical strength to do so as well. You kept an arm halfway up and torso slightly turned in case you needed to butt in.

“I do this because I love you, Maxine,” Billy insisted. “So just SHUT UP and stop being a little cunt. Okay?”

“You stop being a presumptuous asshole first,” Max fired back. “We’re fighting again — why? Because someone with a penis drove me home? And we broke curfew by 10 minutes? I don’t control traffi-”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he dismissed her. “Just say you wanted some dick and call it a night.”

Classic slut-shaming, as if Billy’s Instagram following wasn’t all models, strippers, and OnlyFans girls.

Before you could even process what was happening, the blurbs of their argument skidded to a halt when Max finally broke. Billy watched in subtle amusement as she screamed, her fist meeting the wall repeatedly out of frustration.

Reactive abuse is Billy’s favorite abuse tactic.

“Someone who’s not guilty wouldn’t react like this,” Billy quipped in a sing-song voice, eyeing the new hole in the dry wall that Max had created.

There was no sense in backtracking if Billy already got what he wanted. Max just needed the last word. Before any of you could process it, an acrylic storage box soared through the air, hitting Billy right in the groin. He roared in agony while Max attempted to collect herself off to the side. She still saw red.

That’s when the knife came out.

One slice to the brow and it was over. To ensure the last word was his to keep, Billy ended up chucking a knife at your sister.

“OHMYGOD!” Max shrieked repeatedly, entering the ‘freeze’ stage of her shock. “OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, I’M BLEEDING! I’M BLEEDING, THERE’S BLOOD!”

It was then you realized, the little boy you vowed to protect and refused to leave behind was long gone. Dad’s essence had taken his place now.

“You just don’t know when to FUCKING STOP, do you?” you exclaimed, putting pressure on Max’s eyebrow with a washcloth as she wailed. Suddenly it was Dad you were talking to. They had the same apathetic, dead look in their eyes. “I don’t care who said or did what, throwing a fucking KNIFE?”

“Me?” Billy tutted. “You wanna call me crazy, who did that?” He was referring to the hole in the wall. “And who was the one to throw shit first? EXACTLY. EXACTLY.”

While Billy was technically correct, he would never admit to what he did to provoke you two.

“So you can both get out if you’d like. Be my fucking guests.”

You and Max exchanged one look. The look. It was time. You both were ready and now had the green light. Now was the chance to bolt without immediate consequences.

So you and your sister spent several minutes rummaging through your pre-packed belongings while Billy continued to shit-talk aimlessly around the rental you shared. The place soon reeked of cheap bud and gas station gin. Trash bags were soon filled with your favorite clothes and you shoved them into as many of your childhood suitcases as possible. Struggling to see past your tear-coated eyes, you reached for your books, the ones you've hollowed out 300 pages deep to pocket all the tips from your waitressing job, and shoved the loose bills into your crossbody. You’d sort through them later. Lastly, you popped the cap off the bottom of your salt lamp. There was a pre-paid Visa you bought several months beforehand waiting for you. With trembling hands, you grasped it and whispered a gratitude to the Universe before tucking it neatly into the back pocket of your Levi’s.

When it was all said and done and everything was loaded into your car, you focus on the hole in the dry wall one last time.

Never again.

Billy was complacent throughout the entirety of the event. You glared at him while he continued to soothe himself with drugs and alcohol, refusing to own up to the irreversible damage he caused your little family.

“SIS,” Max boomed from outside. “LET’S GO!”

A part of you used to pity Billy, but now his destructive behavior took away any ounce of guilt you felt for leaving him.

You never fought back until you had no other choice. Similarly, and tragically, Billy shared that very sentiment.

Who the villain is in the narrative relied solely on whose lens you are looking through.

It took you by surprise all the time. How could identical twins, who grew up in the same environment, end up so different from one another?

“I love you, though you hurt me so. Now I’m gonna pack my things and go." - Tainted Love by Soft Cell

There are two wolves inside of everyone.

——————————𓇼——————--------

"Are the pieces of you in the pieces of me? I'm just so scared you're who I'll be. When I erupt just like you do, they look at me like I look at you" - DNA by Lia Marie Johnson

The heart-wrenching ballad by Lia Marie Johnson dissolves as you crank the dial to the left. Music is always depressing when Max has the aux chord.

"Did you hear what I said?" you question her.

Max abruptly sits up and reorients herself, attempting to shrug off the trance “DNA” had put her in for a few minutes.

"No, sorry. What'd you say again?"

"Do you need a bathroom break?"

"I'll go at the airport.”

"Okay, but if you change your mind and decide to take a leak one last time, I'll be happy to oblige.”

Swami’s is also an exit away and you’re just fixing for a hot meal before takeoff. But you don’t directly say that. Besides, Max loses her appetite when she’s upset and may only have room for shitty airplane food.

“I’ll just eat on the plane.”

Stale pretzels and flat soda it is.

Despite the decrease in appetite, Max is holding up well. As well as anyone-who-was-nearly-stabbed-by-her-brother-and-is-now-moving-states-away-from-everything-she’s-ever-known-with-her-sister could be.

It wasn’t your first choice to leave California. In fact, you did everything you could to avoid it. But nonetheless, anyone with a conscious and only $4,000 to their name would make the wise decision to move away to somewhere more affordable.

Enter your online friend, Robin.

Working ungodly hours six days a week to pay the bills took up so much of your time that you had no friends in San Diego — albeit high school friends who would have never guessed how you and Billy turned out. Those friends had happy families anyway. They couldn’t hold space for you. Your online friend Robin, who you met on an art forum, however knew your family dynamic and was there for everything. But she lived in Indiana with her partner and was never able to offer you any physical comfort.

You entertained Robin’s idea of moving to where she lives, a small town in Indiana called Hawkins just 20 minutes southeast of the city. Living under the radar to get your ducks in a row seemed like such a perfect plan, but you didn’t want to do so at the expense of Max losing her only support system she had outside of you.

Moving would’ve also meant pulling her out of school, which wouldn’t be possible because Billy was her legal guardian. Now that she’s graduated high school, and today is her 18th birthday, the game has changed completely.

“Donovan texted me happy birthday,” Max reports, finally disclosing a fragment of her inner conscience. “Thought it was sweet.”

You can’t help but smile. "You thought he wouldn’t?”

She refrains from rolling her eyes and shifts them towards the rocky beach cliffs outside her window.

“You know,” you add. “I really think you two could make long distance work. I’ve never seen so much chemistry between two people before.”

Max scoffs. "Yeah right. Long distance with a guy going to Santa Barbara for college?” She fiddles with the strings of the knit poncho resting atop her lap. “I'd be breaking my own heart."

You bite your lip to stop the waterworks. Max doesn’t deserve any of this. She deserves to enjoy bonfires with her skater friends, surf all the tubular waves, and go on all the nature hikes without worrying about her stepbrother’s codependent-fits-of-rage waiting for her when she comes home. She deserves to eat fried funnel cake at the county fair and share a kiss with the boy of her dreams atop a Ferris wheel on the 4th of July. She deserves a San Diego summer, not a summer spent in hiding from her abuser in the middle of buttfuck nowhere.

Max decides to change the subject.

“So what’s Robin like? Your online friend.”

“She’s very sweet,” you breathe. “Been, uh, telling her about Billy for a long time now. Her arms have been open since day one.”

“And her girlfriend?”

“Vicky’s the best,” you insist. “A match made in heaven for sure. It’s like they’re the same person, just different font.”

You get a giggle out of Max. Her laughter during such a turbulent time is like music to your ears. The non-depressing kind.

“I’m really sorry I couldn’t get you a gift this year.”

She side eyes you.

“What are you talking about? You quite literally gave me the best gift of all.”

“Did I? What did I give you?”

“You gave me safety.”

And with that, you give yourself a mental pat on the back, confident you made the right choice despite how foreign everything currently felt. The conversation dies down while you and Max ride on, driving further and further away from the Park and Ride you spent the night at, off Coast Highway, and onto the I-5 one last time.

Boarding the plane is a swift process. Your plane is a two-seater, so Max gets the window and you get the aisle. After receiving your snacks and drinks, you decide to play white noise and dissociate for the next five hours. It’s safe to do so, anyways. Liminal spaces were not something you took for granted.

Meanwhile, Max looks out the window, watching as the world she has come to know her whole life shrinks right before her eyes, before disappearing underneath a quilt of soft white cumulus clouds.

“This is 18.”

Goodbye, San Diego.

—————— ✈︎ ———————

Hello, Hawkins.

“Please, make yourself at home,” Robin incites, trudging through the miscellaneous projects that sit at her feet. “As if we weren’t DIY freaks enough, the pandemic really just amplified that.”

The pandemic was a hard time for everyone. You lost your fine dining gig and abruptly switched to UberEats to adjust to the flow of takeout. Billy couldn’t go to the gym, his happy place, and it took a toll on him mentally. Max broke quarantine multiple times to see Donovan, which didn’t sit well with your brother. He of course lashed out on her and also proclaimed that people like her were the reason why America hadn’t opened up yet.

“And I get no time at the gym!” Billy screamed. “So now I have to do this—”

You learned that a decent lamp costed $70 that night.

That wasn’t your first rodeo though. You and Billy grew up replacing furniture all the time. You two would gather up your money and spend it on replacing whatever needed replacing for Mom’s birthday. She always wanted to make your house feel like a home. Feel lived in. You and Billy thought you were heroes doing it, but it dawns on you now that you two were just babies.

“Oh!” Vicky interrupts. “Before we forget…”

You and Max watch her as she scrambles around, looking for something that she seemed ecstatic about.

“Happy birthday, Max!”

“No way, Kate Bush!” Max exclaims as she accepts the gift, an original Kate Bush vinyl record of her album Hounds of Love.

"Wow," you beam, rubbing your sister’s back. “Way to fuel her 80's hyperfixation, huh?"

“We found this at the thrift store,” Vicky boasted. “Knew we had to get it for ya.”

“It’s the real deal too," Robin adds. "Look, printed 1985.”

“It’s perfect,” Max gushes. “Can’t wait to play it on my Crosley.”

She thanks them both and hugs them before running back to the living room to get the rest of your belongings. You listen as she hums some of Kate Bush’s discography along the way.

You then observe Max as she unpacks her things one by one, slightly peppered with remnants of the California sand and the snobby fee it took to ship it all here via cargo. She then proceeds to sit on the new bed to check the springing quality, testing its bounce factor and comparing it to that of her old bed.

You let out a bittersweet sigh.

Suddenly you're eight years old, doing the same thing at the local motel Mom managed to snag a couple nights from when Dad trashed the house.

You turn to look in the mirror atop your new dresser.

Suddenly, you're Mom. Quite literally. You both have the same wavy blonde hair, scattered freckles across your nose that Billy used to call “stardust”, and the same tsunami blue eyes. It makes it no wonder why you and Dad never got along. You are Mom’s spitting image — and Billy is Dad’s.

Funny how life turns out.

You graze the crows feet at the outer corner of your eyes, realizing now how many years have silently passed you by, and then take note of the stress-defined scars in the form of eye baggage from all the sleepless nights that came as a souvenir.

You’ve put up with so much. For so long. The trauma is starting to manifest itself physically.

Robin snaps you back into present day. "So I was thinking we go to Applebee's for dinner, walk around Old Town, get you guys settled and unpacked when we return, Jenga at night, and then-"

She stops when she sees the horrified expression on your face.

“Hey…” the pitch in her comforting, raspy voice heightens. “What’s the matter?”

Your voice breaks. “It’s…” you manage. “It’s been a lot.”

Robin pats your back. “I know. I’m so sorry.”

Without looking, Robin snags a few tissues from a box laying around and gives them to you. You blot the tears away, careful not to mess up the makeup you had on with the intention to make you look less…dead.

“Sue didn’t even call and wish her happy birthday. Her own mother.”

“I’m so sorry,” Robin repeats.

“Every day I watch Max store her trauma in the box... and just shove it into the corner where it gathers dust,” you continue. “If she doesn't unpack it..."

You didn’t even want to think of the collateral damage you and your brother caused her. A part of you wants to think Maxine has remained untouched from that side of you, but the dry blood on her outer brow was a reminder that it was far too late to shelter her from that.

"You see yourself in her."

"And my mom in myself,” you admit. “Now more than ever.”

You rub your eyes.

“I’m rambling, I know. It’s just… SO aggravating. Max deserves better.”

“She’s handling it really well.”

“We don’t know that. I know Max. She’s a pro at hiding her feelings.”

“She’s being strong for you, like you are for her. It’s very endearing, whether you both admit it to each other or not.”

She rubs your arm.

“For as long as Vicky and I are here, you and Maxine have a soft place to land. We are here for you. Y’all are safe.”

You two glance over at Max, who is now unpacking your Zen Basics Himalayan salt lamp. She sets it on top your new bedside table, a reupholstered one whose old wood was painted over by an earthy olive green, the old hardware replaced by eccentric shaped, neutral-toned knobs. Her Crosley sits on your floor, now playing a track off Kate Bush's vinyl while she stares out the window. Your new view for the foreseeable future.

Can't you see where memories are kept bright?

Tripping on the water like a laughing girl

Time in her eyes is spawning past life

One with the ocean and the woman unfurled

Holding all the love that waits for you here

Catch us now for I am your future

A kiss on the wind and we'll make the land.

Dinnertime comes fast, but you blame it on the time zone difference. You call shotgun and ride with Robin in the passenger seat, catching up with your best friend while Vicky and Max watch YouTube shorts in the backseat.

Robin gives you a backstory of everything you pass on the way to Applebees, from the schools to churches to family-owned gas stations. She and Vicky seem to know everyone by a first-name basis, naming random people off and knowing exactly who that is every so often. You try to stay engaged, but the only thing on your mind is where you’re going to apply for a job.

Robin drives into a plaza next.

"This used to be a mall, but now it's completely empty," Robin continues pointing to an empty building with remnants of a star symbol etched on it. "E-commerce really turned this strip into a ghost town."

"So basically, if I wanted a job, it would have to be any of these food places, an office of sorts, or an off-brand Blockbuster store?"

"Family Video is closing too," Vicky chimes in. "It's sad. But I guess Hawkins needs yet another overpriced coffee shop."

"You could always work at the gentlemen's club," Max jokes, pointing off to the side.

You turn to where she’s pointing and take note of the matte black rectangular building by the Sizzler’s. It didn’t seem out of place, but the silhouette of an exotic dancer with devil horns gave the sinister establishment away. You couldn’t read the name of the club, but a part of you tries to.

Robin slightly turns and nods in that direction. "Oh yeah. I heard the girls there make bank in tips."

“I made bank in La Jolla doing fine dining,” you point out. “Maybe I can do the same thing here. But at a similar establishment.”

“Fanciest restaurant you’ll get here is Benny’s,” Vicky says. “You’re gonna have to go to the city for fine dining. I don’t think the commute is worth.”

“Guess stripper is your best option,” Max nudges you.

You shoot a glare her way. “Very funny.”

"I know, I was joking," she scoffs. "Billy would kill you anyways."

Billy would literally go insane if you dared to work at a strip club. The slut-shaming would never end. Not that he never slut-shamed you anyway. There was always something for him to be misogynistic and hypocritical about.

Then it hits you. Billy isn't here. And you really need the money since in this day and age, $4,000 meant nothing. You peer over at the gentlemen's club one last time as it shrinks out of view the further Robin drives.

HELLFIRE.

-----------𓆩♡𓆪------------

Dungeons & Dragons.

Of course one of the very few strip clubs in Hawkins has to be the dorkiest.

But you understand the vision. Beyond the cobblestone entrance, the veil between real life and fantasy thins.

As you near the club with nothing but a purse and car keys in hand, you notice that there’s already security by the door. You’re surprised to see a leaner guy, tall and slender with soft blonde hair and a soft grin to match. He catches sight of you and greets you with a nod.

“Good afternoon,” he says. “How are you today?”

“I’m good,” you nod. You reach for your wallet and give him your ID. Typical screening process. “Yourself?”

“Not too shabby,” he replies.

He examines your ID card. You notice his surprise when his eyes slightly widen before retracting shortly after. You guess that he was wondering why you are here out of all places. You peer over at his name tag while he concludes his screening. Henry.

Upon verification of your identity, the friendly security guard returns your card to you.

“Let me give you a wrist band.”

He motions for you to hold an arm out. You extend your right arm to him and watch as he gracefully pulls a paper wristband out of his pocket, clasping it into place with the side that read “21+” facing upwards.

You take the time to admire the gentleness of this man. The softness of his face. His dreamy gaze.

“Any weapons on you?”

“Uh…” you stammer. “Just pepper spray?”

A laugh escapes from his nostrils. “That’s fine, my dear.”

“I hope I don’t have to use it.”

“Don’t worry, darling. Under my watch, you won’t.”

Henry gently strokes your hand before motioning you inside.

“Enjoy the show.”

“Thanks,” you smile politely.

It’s a slow afternoon, but granted no one goes to a strip club at 2 PM. The Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club was comprehensively laced with playful innuendos. The accent wall by the entrance showcases an array of chains and handcuffs. Kukris, nun-chucks, and flails all of different variants and sizes are displayed on the walls, the point of balance being a vintage pulp print of a metal puppeteer. On the print, "OBEY YOUR MASTER" is written in edgy bubble letters.

Kinky.

And there’s a bonus of this themed club: the ladies are dressed in cloaks. You watch as beautiful women from all walks of life strut around the joint, leaving the clients with only their imagination to guess what’s underneath the tantalizing, medieval velvet.

There are LED signs that lit up corners of the space, indicating what they were for. KAS’ KORNER: GRAB A BITE, DRAGON'S BREATH: HOOKAH LOUNGE, and POTIONS — the bar.

You catch a glimpse of the private show rooms, or at least what you think are the private show rooms.

The LED sign to those rooms read, "I PUT A SPELL ON YOU AND NOW YOU'RE MINE."

The general seating area for the main event reads VECNA’S LAIR.

The Dungeon Master of this joint thought of every possible detail he could and ironed it into perfection.

Surely, someone who truly plays would adore every aspect of all the details, but it was evident that everyone came here for the same reason:

Girls, girls, girls.

You walk over to the bar to see two men conversing behind it.

One looked to be in his late 20s, with scruffy chestnut brown hair, some tired eyes, peach fuzz, and a patterned shirt decorated in a kaleidoscope of colors — a shirt meticulously calculated by quite possibly a girlfriend.

The other looked like he had another year left before being allowed to be behind that counter... of course judging by the “Hawkins High School class of 2021” on his insulated water bottle in his hand, a cracked iPhone in the other, and Beats with a small basketball sticker on it.

When you appear in their periphery, the conversation between the two gradually comes to a stop.

“Whoa,” the younger man hums. “New face. Welcome.”

“Hi. What do you recommend?”

“In terms of what?” the younger man questions slyly. There’s a timidness to the young man’s spirit, making his flirtatious demeanor somewhat dorky. The age appropriate bartender nudges him.

“Drinks, hotshot,” you refrain from chuckling. “Drinks.”

“Depends what you’re into,” the younger man replies, the slyness continuing. “If you’re into light liquors, Jonathan can make you a mean Cîroc with pineapple juice. But if you’re more into the dark stuff…”

He gestures up and down on himself.

“Then look no further.”

“That was very painful to listen to,” the older one who you assume is Jonathan cringes. “Can you get anymore corny?”

“Ta-ha!” the younger one tsks. “He said could I get any more corny. Can you get any more bitchless?”

“I have a girlfriend, Lucas.”

“Emphasis on the singular sense.”

“Nance is all I need.”

"Nancy is all you can pull," Lucas chuckles. "With that goofy ass shirt, man. Stop playing with me."

So you weren’t the only one who thought the shirt was absolutely ridiculous. It had "Bad Bitch Repellant" written all over it.

Jonathan whacks Lucas with the cloth that was sitting atop his shoulder. You request a double Tito’s straight on the rocks from Jonathan to which he automatically starts to make. Lucas continues to interrogate you.

“As you heard, my name is Lucas. Lucas Sinclair.” He extends his hands to you. “But my favorite ladies call me 'Dark Chocolate'. You can call me, 'The Man of Your Dreams' though.”

You take the youngster’s hand in yours and shake it. His heavy locker room cologne makes your nose swell, an uneven mix of what you believe is Axe and — is that Dior?

You tell Lucas your name then hit him with a, “But you can call me ‘When You’re Thirty’.”

Lucas laughs at your joke, beaming up at you as he does so. Then he nods to communicate a gracious fair enough. The flirting, you could sense, was in good nature, playful.

“It was worth a shot,” he shrugs. “Do you have a younger sister by any chance?”

“Oh in your dreams, mister.”

Jonathan chuckles and rubs Lucas’s back.

"That’s enough man, can you go buss that table over there?"

Lucas gives a thumbs up before putting his Beats on and walking away. You divert your attention back to Jonathan who is now done with making your drink.

“Alright… I got a Tito’s double shot — straight — on the rocks,” Jonathan announces as he slides your vice on over. He studies you as you take the drink and request to keep the tab open. “I’m inclined to ask. Are you okay?”

When you’re not around Billy, you wear your heart on your sleeve. It wouldn’t hurt to trauma dump on a stranger. Especially one who asked.

“Pretty far from okay,” you answer before chugging it. “Can’t you tell? It’s 2PM and I’m consoling…” You slosh the drink around in your hand. “…my man Tito.”

“I see that.”

“It’s been a long day,” you continue. “It’s my second day in Hawkins so I thought I’d scope this place out. Dilly dally for a bit.”

“Second day?” Jonathan questions. “As in…ever?”

“Yeah, just moved here.”

The bartender looks around as if he’s missed something. “But…why?”

It’s a fair reaction. If the welcome sign is correct, Hawkins only has a population of 1,314 people. 1,316 now including you and Maxine.

“My friend lives here and convinced me to make the move,” is what you explain, though it only seems to make Jonathan more confused. “Couldn’t take the heat Cali was dishing out. Hawkins seemed like the perfect place to slow down.”

“Oh man,” Jonathan mutters. “California to here, what a change.”

“You lived here long?”

“Lived here my whole life,” he answers as a matter of factly.

“What made you get a job at Hellfire?”

Jonathan didn’t have to think. “I love booze.”

You laugh together, raising your half-empty class to clink his invisible one.

“I hate 9-5s,” Jonathan draws on. “Working from home ‘bout damn near drove me insane, don’t know how my mom does it with such ease. My boss here smokes me out on occasion and my friends make me nachos.” He smiles. “Can’t think of anything better.”

“There we go.”

"I’ve also just been looking out for women my whole life," he adds. "Bout time I get some financial compensation for it, no?"

“Amen to that,” You chug the last of your drink. “Thanks for your service.”

"Pleasure is mine. Anything else I can do for ya?"

You think. "Hm, probably not you, but maybe the hiring manager can do something for me."

"You're looking to work here?" he clarifies as you nod. "Oh sweet, you're going to wanna talk to Eddie. He's the owner."

"And a dweeb," says a significantly younger looking fellow as he slides into the conversation.

“Here we go.”

In front of you now is a gentleman around Lucas’s age with wild curly brown hair. You watch as he helps himself to a club soda, dunking three large wedges of lemon into his cup as well.

The guy offers you a playful, pearly white grin. “Eddie may own a nice club with some smokin' hot babes, but he's got no game whatsoever."

“Hey Dustin.”

“Sup, man.”

“You think so?" you challenge him.

"I know so,” the boy who you now know as Dustin insists. “Can't talk up a chick to save his life."

"Yeah," Jonathan says, half-jokingly. "He's the bitchless one."

Dustin glances between you both, slightly puzzled.

You shake your head. "No way."

"I wouldn't say he's that bad," Dustin says. "I actually think he's seeing someone casually. But in general, dude's got zero rizz."

"Projecting are we?" Jonathan nudges him.

“HELL. NO.” Dustin booms. You attempt to refrain from laughing. “My game is what got me the baddest gal at science camp. Eddie? Clumsy as hell, stutters on his words, he's got the anxiety level of someone who drinks cold brew on an empty stomach… Now that I say it out loud, I think he does drink cold brew on an empty stomach. Some chicks dig it though, which is good for him.”

Curly was fun to observe. Once he’s done talking down on the club owner, Dustin politely walks over and shakes your hand, bowing to you like you’re a princess of sorts. You later find it that like Lucas, Dustin works as a bus boy and server, and his girlfriend makes sure that he remains in Kas’ Korner at all times. Dustin has about two years left before legally being permitted behind the POTIONS bar, but that doesn’t stop him from using it as his own storage shed.

You watch as he grabs some deodorant and hair pomade from an old shoe box under the counter.

“Anyways, later,” Dustin holds up a peace sign, starting towards the door. “I'm not on today, I'm just hitting the gym with Steve."

“Later, man!” Jonathan calls after him.

“Deuces. Say hello to Dark Chocolate for me.”

Before he could get any further, the loud swinging of a door closeby causes him to halt in place.

“ALRIGHT!” a loud, gruff voice booms from that direction. “Which one of you shitheads forgot to take inventory on the 10th?!”

You can’t help but turn your body towards the ruckus. And to your own pleasant surprise, you don’t regret it. Emerging from the door comes the possible shift lead, a tall and broad man with medium length wavy brown hair, chocolate-colored, youthful doe eyes that contradicted the deep lines on his face, bleach white Chuck Taylor’s, ripped black jeans, and a Hellfire Club baseball tee with the logo smack-dab in the middle.

The man looked to be in his mid to late 20s, with an assertiveness in his stride. His lips, a perfectly formed bow with a smirk-like undertone. The cool rings that rest upon his fingers look icy as they sway at his side, shining in contrast to his dark clothing.

The man is too tunnel-visioned to see where he was going. But that doesn’t stop Dustin from looking absolutely mortified.

“The 10th and the 11th,” the man clarifies. “So for all we know, we might need new kegs and ground chili, which is one more thing I have to d-”

Finally he looks up, with you being the first thing he sees. Proximity taking him aback, he snaps out of his stress-induced trance and softens up at the sight of you. You meet his eyes, big and beautiful with long wispy lashes and you can’t help but mimic the flutter in your heart in the form of a smile.

“Whoa.” He says, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Whoa, indeed.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s Eddie’s first day back, he tends to get a little in the zone,” Dustin explains.

Eddie.

Does that mean…

“Are you the hiring manager?”

You didn’t know who you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the man in front of you. He must be proud of himself, having such a successful business so early in the game.

Eddie gathers himself quickly.

“Dungeon Master, hiring manager, manager, owner, sanitations, re-stocker,” Mr. Jack-of-all-trades confirms. “I do it all.” He grimaces at Dustin. "Since you know, some people don't wanna work."

"You said I can have off!" Dustin exclaims defensively. "I worked for you before the weekend already and I wasn’t even on the 10th and 11th, fuck outta here."

All it takes is a scowl his way from the boss and Dustin is radio silent. The look on Eddie's face definitely said "Watch your tone". Eyes are all on you once more soon after.

Eddie’s gaze softens when he looks at you.

“Were you…looking to apply?”

“Yeah,” you reply sheepishly. “As a dancer. I’d like to perform here.”

“You don’t sound too confident.”

“Some guys like shy girls,” you shrug.

He laughs, a dark honey kind of laugh that just oozed from the back of his throat. “That they do.” His voice deepens drastically. Eddie studies you. “Any dancing experience?”

“Dancing, yes.”

“Stripping experience?”

“None.”

“Hm,” Eddie says. “What do you have experience in?”

“I danced for a bit…I have good core strength,” you explain vaguely. “And I’ve worked in the restaurant industry so I’d say customer service is my superpower.”

Eddie soaks in the information.

“I know how to talk to people,” you continue. “I know the right things to say. Favorite pass time is upselling drinks. And dessert…”

You wait for Eddie to take the low hanging fruit. He doesn’t.

"Any experience with the pole?”

Your cheeks grow hot. You decide to lie.

"No.”

“Kinda essential for this profession, sweetheart.”

"I know," you respond humbly. "I wouldn’t doubt it for a second..." you scan the room. “So uh, do I need a permit to perform here?”

“Nah, Hawkins is a lawless wasteland pretty much,” he sighs placing his hands on his hips. “And my club does things a little different anyways. The ladies also don’t pay to perform, we pay them to.”

Shit. Strippers pay to perform at venues?

“The dining experience is what brings the base revenue in,” Lucas explains, returning from wherever he had been. “The ladies are a luxury.”

“And should be treated as such,” Jonathan chimes in.

“I take it you don’t work at any other clubs?” Eddie questions judging by your wide eyes attempting to take in every bit of information that has been dumped on you. The man sees right through your mask.

“No, but I-”

“I personally like to give everyone a chance,” Eddie says. “So don’t worry babe, you’re good. Even though you don’t have any experience, your energy tells me that you have potential. Wanna show us what you can do?”

Your heart sinks. The handsome club owner called you babe. And you’re also being asked to perform with the little experience you have — in front of girls who had tons of experience.

“Here? Now?”

Eddie nods.

You weren’t prepared to dance today. But with your sister and the mountain of debt on your mind, you are willing to do anything. So you walk over to Jonathan and tell him what song you feel most comfortable performing to and stretch as he takes the time to find it. When all is said and done, you make your way to the icy pillar made of chrome steel that was calling for your attention.

You exhale deeply.

Back to the old stomping grounds. The last time you worked with a pole you were wearing Heeley’s and light up sneakers. Of course in place of the horny spectators there were playground supervisors, and the only “bars” there were monkey bars. Oh, and you were 8, not 28.

The slut-shaming still existed, though. One time a boy told you that you were acting like a ‘hoe’ for trying to do a trick upside down. To Billy’s retaliation though. Before you knew it, the same boy was being shoved down and dragged across the wood chips, acquiring a series of splinters along the way. Admin phoned home. You and Billy got spanked. But, of course, Billy had no regrets. While you both cooled off together, you remember him grazing your hand, telling you he’d beat that kid up “a gajillion times over”.

He kept that promise. Except as you two grew older, it was you he was doing it to. A gajillion times over.

You laugh at the bittersweet nostalgia.

“Whenever you’re ready, babe,” Eddie says.

You give Jonathan a thumbs up to play your song selection. Soon, Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club is filled with the catchy, seductive tune that is Layla by Eric Clapton.

You start with a small stroll around the pole. Then a dramatic dip to flaunt your bouncy golden locks. Soon, the women of Hellfire gather around with the men following soon after to watch you work your magic in Vecna’s crowded Lair.

If muscle memory is in your favor, they are in for a good show.

What will you do when you get lonely

No one waiting by your side?

You've been running, hiding much too long

You know it's just your foolish pride

Eddie claims a seat at a throne directly in front of the pole. He studies your technique, your movements, your facial expressions. You aren’t sure if reality is projecting onto you or if you’re dizzy from all the spinning, but you almost see a slight smile spread across the club owner’s face. It prompts you to keep going.

Layla, got me on my knees

Layla, begging, darling, please Layla

Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?

It’s a lot harder, your techniques and tricks. Most likely since you weigh more than 50 pounds now and had to exert more energy to keep yourself balanced an aligned. But nonetheless, you persist.

Tried to give you consolation

Your old man had let you down

Like a fool, I fell in love with you

You turned my whole world upside down

You buck your hips upward from you back arch to go into an upside down position. It earns you some hooting and cheering from the crowd.

“You better work, mamas!” a dancer cheers.

“I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT!”

“YOU GO GIRL!”

“YAAAS!”

Layla, got me on my knees

Layla, I'm begging, darling, please Layla

Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?

Eddie watches intently, leaning backwards with his hands clasped forward. You feel his eyes burn through you, from the top of your head down to your toes. You feel as if he’s mentally scoring you like you’re at a competition, but the sisterhood that cheers you on makes you feel slightly less intimidated.

“SHE’S SO GOOD!” comes a high-pitched voice in the crowd. “I FREAKING LOVE HER!”

You turn to look at your own personal cheerleader, a bright-eyed cute little redhead with pigtails with an outfit that looks like an ode to Britney Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. She has cherry hair ties that hold her two pigtails at the bottom.

You watch her clap and jump up and down, cheering you on with a beam in her eyes that made you feel like your souls have been friends for decades.

Motivated to attempt more risqué moves, you jump into the splits before kicking your legs around to end on your knees.

Clapping and whistling erupts from the lair. Once it dies down, Eddie stands up, offering you a delighted series of slow claps as he makes his way towards you.

"That was really good, Shy Girl. I like how you finished your set."

“Aw, thanks Eddie.”

He walks around you.

"Go like this?" Eddie does a stretching motion, lifting his hand up.

You imitate him and reach up.

"Okay, and... turn like this? Then pop your ass out a bit more."

The word rolled off the club owner's tongue like it was nothing. It was done in a way that was professional, a hint of respect in his tone with no sort of ulterior motive.

You swallow hard, attempting to internally tame the goosebumps on rising upon your skin. He’s just giving feedback, he’s just giving feedback. This is a professional line of work.

You do as he says as he circles around you, fingers grazing on the cool floor of the stage just inches away from your thighs. He taps them in thought.

"For a beginner you’re pretty damn good,” he says.

“Yeah?” you look up at him and smile.

“Yeah,” his voice deepens. “You’re a natural. All that shyness just went away.”

Well, it’s about to return, you think to yourself.

“Are you sure you haven’t done this before?”

“Not in this specific setting.”

There’s a slight shift in his eyes as his imagination wanders. The dimples at the side of his mouth concave slightly.

“I gotcha.”

Eddie clears his throat. “So uh, when can you start?”

Today is Wednesday. You have tomorrow, Friday, and the weekend to settle you and Max in and make any last minute stops. Then the appointment with the other loan officer and DMV appointment on Monday. Tuesday afternoons are dry — everywhere so that left the earliest you can start as

"Next Tuesday? In the evening?"

A soft snort escapes from the club owner’s nose.

"Driest night of the week," he comments, looking around his club.

He turns back to you.

"But a good time for orientation. Works for me, Shy Girl. Can I call you that?”

You smirk. “So I got the job?”

He nods.

“Then you can call me what you want,” you smile shaking his hand. “In this case I’m Shy Girl Hargrove.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he smiles. He knows you’re flirting. Eddie accepts your hand and shakes it firmly.

“Eddie. Pleased to formally meet you. And welcome to Hellfire.”

You two exchange contact information for professional purposes before he leaves. You study Eddie as he sees himself out, planting a firm, teasing smack on Lucas’s stomach on his way and whispering something to Jonathan as well.

Your cheerleader from the crowd excitedly makes her way over.

“I know a dancer slash gymnast when I see one,” she chirps. “I’m Chrissy. Stage name is Cherry.”

You two shake hands and exchange further compliments with one another. Your heart swells when you realize you’re slowly starting to find community.

“It’s so nice to meet you.”

Others come and say hello, but you’ve tuned out all the faces because all you can think about is Eddie. His demeanor. The way he carries himself. His presence alone was something so intoxicating that it lingered around the place in his absence.

Your heart flutters.

“Oh, Hargrove!” Jonathan says. “Before you go I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to worry about the drink.”

“Oh?” you respond. “No?”

“Eddie says it’s on the house.”

You smile and Jonathan returns the favor, making sure you see him when he voids your entire tab. As you wave bye to all your spectators, you release a grateful sigh. You felt very humbled about this new, yet unexpected beginning.

The happiness soon wears off when the events that just unfolded dawn on you. Suddenly, the flutter in your heart moves to your stomach, settling in a way that feels eerie. The unknown is pestering you again. Wrong, but oh so right and necessary.

You take in the area around you. You have a place to call home. You’re a stripper now. Your boss just bought your drink. You’re going to have money coming in. Oh, and YOU’RE A STRIPPER NOW.

Then it dawns on you. You need to go shopping.

#Spotify #eddie munson #joseph quinn #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things 5 #hellfire club #Eddie munson fan fiction #Eddie munson fics

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porcelainseashore · 4 months

Text

Teenage Headache Dreams (4)

(Part 1: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 / Part 2)

Pairing: High School! College! Leon Kennedy x Dancer! Fem! Reader

Summary: You’re a bored, but ambitious high school student who can’t wait to escape small town life and make it in the big city. You thought you had it all figured out, until you unwittingly befriend the resident golden boy, Leon. A series of events beginning from junior year to college until Resident Evil 2 Remake.

Warnings: 18+ Swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Eventual Smut, No (Y/N), Ambiguous/Open Ending

Content: High School AU, College AU, Pre-Resident Evil 2, Fluff, Romance, Cliche, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Lack of Communication

Author's Note: Things get heated in both senses of the word… I toned it down here, but the final chapter will go further 😉 I have to say this chapter was a bit of an unruly beast, but I hope it worked out in the end. Expect some angst and as usual, fluff.

AO3 Link

Chapter 4: Different Dreams

Since that wintry night in February which left you reeling from having kissed your best friend, you never found the opportunity to speak with him on where you both stood. Things just kept getting in the way: preparing for junior year finals, college admission tests, then summer placements and so on. To be fair, you weren’t exactly keen on confronting the question either, since you still weren’t sure whether you and Leon would be in the same place after graduating from high school. You had long since crossed the river of denial and you liked him a lot, but you were selfish. If you had to choose between a relationship with him and Tisch School of the Arts, the one college you had always dreamed of going to since you were young, you knew you’d pick the latter in a heartbeat. And that fucked you up. You couldn’t help but feel guilty each time he tried to broach the subject of “that night”, and when you brushed him off, he didn’t get upset or push it. He just waited patiently as ever, with a hopeful look in his eyes, that someday you’d be ready to talk.

Maybe it was just better to remain as friends. That said, you were there for him as one. You supported him, teasing through the countless college possibilities he had swimming around in his mind, after he returned from the school’s career counselor. When the local police force had come round to give one of their recruitment talks, he seemed to have taken an interest in their work. In particular, their speech about directly interacting with and helping civilians in times of need really resonated with him. Although you were wary about cops in general, questioning the punishment system and incidences of police brutality, you encouraged him to follow what felt right to him.

As you sat together with him on his bed, littered with a bunch of police academy brochures that were sprawled across the covers, he went through the reasons that led him to make this choice, and you began to connect the dots. “Remember when you said that I’m a good person?”

“Yeah?” You perked up.

“Well, I just wondered how I could be more of that,” he explained.

Did he feel like he needed to prove himself, just so he could believe in it? You were dying to tell him that he didn’t have to do all of this. That he was perfect the way he was. But sometimes people just needed to go through the motions themselves. This was his journey to make, so you bit back your tongue and listened.

“I want to help regular people, like you and me. Protecting the innocent, changing their lives for the better…” He stared into space for a while before continuing. “And what about all the unsolved cases? Those families deserve closure.”

You realized that closure from the past was something he never had.

“I mean, I just want to make a difference somehow,” he reiterated.

“Hm, that sounds stupid, doesn’t it?” He remarked sheepishly, constantly glancing at you for your opinion.

“No… no, not at all.” You shook your head, reassuring him sincerely. “Well, you know I don’t have the best impression of cops,” you laughed. “But that will change, with you.”

“You think so?” A slight smile formed at the corners of his mouth.

You leaned back against the mattress on your forearms and confirmed. “Hell, Leon. If there’s such a thing as a model police officer, I think you’re gonna be that.”

“There isn’t a single bad bone in your body.” You winked. “Not vouching for the lame ones though.”

“Gee, thanks.” He was blushing now as he twiddled his thumbs.

“I take it that you’re gonna enjoy helping old ladies cross the road?” You couldn’t resist teasing him when he looked like that.

“Sure, you know you can call on me anytime.” He smirked.

You forgot he had a knack for winding you up. “Fuck you, Leon!”

“Oh yeah?” He challenged, although you could tell from his expression that he was only half-kidding.

That stopped you in your tracks, as a mental image of you and Leon in various intimate positions formed in your mind. You swallowed hard, feeling a burning sensation of arousal surging within. Despite that, you shrugged off those thoughts and picked up one of the brochures lying in the pile to distract yourself. “So, you’re gonna visit the open house?”

You heard what sounded like a disheartened sigh before he replied, “Yeah I’d like to.” He turned to face you expectantly. “It’d be nice, if uh, you came along?”

“They’re all pretty nearby,” he added, trying to sweeten the deal. As if you needed convincing.

You rolled your eyes, exclaiming, “Even if it was a gazillion miles away, I’d still be there.”

Echoing his previous sentiment at the time he had supported you at your performance, you mentioned naively, “That’s what friends are for, right?”

When you caught him wincing and tightening up at the word “friends”, you realized the blunder you had made, but it was too late.

He stood up silently and made his way over to his desk, busying himself with a stack of papers.

That hand-wringing sensation of guilt started to swell in your chest again. You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Finally, you got up to leave. “Just let me know when, ok?”

He nodded his head in acknowledgement, without turning around to see you off. You walked out of his room with your eyes downcast, trying to console yourself that it was for the best. The police academies he had singled out weren’t even remotely near New York. There was no way it would work out. No way.

━━━━━━━━━━━

You accompanied Leon to the open houses that summer, as he got a good look around the various campuses, asking inquisitive questions and highlighting his athletic achievements, albeit rather humbly. After some nudging from you, he began to mention his academics too. You always held his intelligence in high regard, which you had noticed in class and during your study sessions, that were miraculously still going on despite his earlier reluctance. In your opinion, he would make a great detective, though he had tried to downplay it when you shared it with him.

In any case, you should’ve known that it never ends well when unresolved things are left to fester. So here you were, in your room this time, having the biggest argument you’ve ever encountered with Leon so far.

It all started when you were grabbing something quick from your shelf, before heading out with Leon for a walk along the surrounding forest trails, just so you could make the best use of the remaining summer days. He’d waited around the entrance to your room when something piqued his interest. Walking in, he pointed at a makeshift board lying by your bedside. “Jeez, what’s this? An evidence board or something?”

Whipping your head around, you laughed, “It’s to keep track of all the colleges I’m applying to, dumbass.”

Resting his fingers under his chin, he tilted his head and noted without hiding his disappointment, “They’re kinda far away.”

“And this one.” He pointed to the red circle in the middle. “That’s your dream school, huh?” At least he remembered. Not like you hadn’t been going on about it for ages.

“Yeah, since I was little.” You nodded, taking a couple of steps closer, till you joined Leon at his side. A moment of doubt set in, as you shrugged and chewed your lip nervously. “I don’t know if I’m good enough.”

“You’re more than good enough,” he stated simply, in a tone deeper than usual. It reverberated across the room as he eyed you intently.

“I’ve watched you-” He pulled you in close, wrapping an arm around your waist, which elicited a small gasp from your lips. “Perform.” His other hand trailed up to caress your cheek.

“Choreograph,” he continued, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Teach.” He smiled fondly at the memory of picking you up from class one day, as the little ballerinas you taught gathered around your legs quizzing, Miss, is that your boyfriend?

Meanwhile, it felt like your brain was malfunctioning, as you stood frozen on the spot, losing yourself in the pool of his ocean blue eyes, while he issued you compliment after compliment, finally finishing with, “You’re incredibly talented.”

Stroking his thumb gently over your bottom lip, his gaze followed suit, transfixed by its outline. Checking for any signs of discomfort on your face but finding none, he leaned in, planting his mouth on yours, as an involuntary moan escaped from your throat. No matter how much you tried to fight it, your body would not lie. It craved his touch, and all at once, you threw out the barriers you had placed between yourself and Leon in the past few months.

Sliding your hands up his chest, you parted your lips slightly to allow his tongue to slip inside. The kisses grew hungrier and more urgent as you tasted each other, causing you to stumble backwards onto your bed with him laying on top of you. You were so glad your parents were out, as the door to your bedroom was wide open and both of you weren’t exactly keeping very quiet about things. He peppered kisses along your neck, as his hands roamed across your body. Then his lips traveled downwards to your chest and you tangled your hands tightly in his hair, cursing his name in pleasure under your breath.

There were countless thoughts running through your head, like how fast you and Leon were going, and how badly you wanted him, but something was screaming inside of you about how wrong all of this was. You were just friends, right? You shouldn’t be leading him on like this.

With whatever resolve you had left, you tore yourself away and pushed him off you, stammering, “I’m sorry, I can’t!” You were shaking uncontrollably as Leon regarded you with a mixture of worry and confusion, panting heavily through his swollen, red lips.

“Wha-? Are you ok? Did I hurt you?” The questions came out like rapid fire.

“I-I’m fine.” You looked down in embarrassment as you adjusted your clothes.

“Then, what’s wrong?” His brows were knitted in distress, wondering if he had unknowingly crossed your boundaries.

“I just don’t think this is such a good idea,” you offered hesitantly.

Running his hand through the mess you had made of his silky blonde hair, he sighed, “Why? What about that night?” There it was again.

You bit your lip apprehensively. “We never followed up on that.”

As his face contorted in anguish, you knew that your time of delaying the inevitable had run out, and he wasn’t going to let it go now. “It was like you never wanted me to bring it up.” He began to raise his voice, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “I gave you months… Months!”

“It’s… complicated,” you whispered.

“How?” He asked, bristling with irritation.

“Well, for starters, we’re gonna be living miles apart by the time we finish high school.”

“You don’t know that,” he countered, crossing his arms firmly, as if shielding himself from being let down again.

“What do you mean?” You blurted out in bewilderment.

By now, he had gotten up and paced around your room restlessly. “You could… I don’t know, go to one of the bigger cities around here. I heard Chicago’s got a pretty good-”

You felt a flash of annoyance as you cut him off instantly. “You know I’ve wanted to go to Tisch my whole life!”

“I don’t understand you!” He choked, shaking his head furiously. “You’d travel miles with me to the academies, but you can’t even think of doing this long distance?”

He was grasping at straws to keep you, but you didn’t want to hurt him. You didn’t know if you were right for each other. In your mind, Leon was a bit of a homebody, judging by the college choices he had made. He needed someone who could provide him with stability and the white picket fence American dream. You couldn’t do that. You wanted to travel the world and live out new experiences.

As you hugged yourself wordlessly, unable to look at him, he softened, once again trying to reason things out. “I just thought… we mattered too.”

Your heart broke as he said that. You wanted nothing more than warmth and intimacy with him on this lazy Sunday, cuddling and trading affectionate kisses. But you couldn’t. “You do matter to me, Leon.”

“Then why do you keep pushing me away?” There was no more anger in his voice, only sadness.

He deserved an answer, and you would give him one. You just didn’t expect to be so inept at choosing how to express yourself. “We both have our own dreams,” you tried to explain. “They’ve just turned out to be very different.”

The next line came out a lot harsher than you intended. “I can’t have someone holding me back. I’m sorry.”

Before regret could even sink in, Leon had started to take his leave, his expression turning colder than ice. “No, I’m sorry for even trying,” he commented bitterly. “I’ll stop wasting your time.”

“Leon!” You called out after him, but he paid no attention and continued to walk off. “It came out wrong,” you pleaded. “That’s not what I meant!”

The last thing you heard was your front door slamming shut.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Over the next weeks when senior year started, you tried to reach out to Leon to no avail. He had become a distant shell of his former self. There was an air of aloofness each time you bumped into each other, as he pretended not to recognize you. All the notes you attempted to pass to him in class ended up crumpled and thrown into the bin without being read. You felt a stab to your gut every single time.

However, you were observant enough to make out the sting of hurt in his eyes when he thought you weren’t looking. You knew he was keeping you at an arm’s length to protect himself, but also partly to give you a taste of your own medicine, just like when you had foolishly dragged things on, hoping they would resolve themself without giving him an answer. Until it was too late. You hated him for being so immature and childish, but you held yourself responsible for starting it first.

Then, the rumors came. You saw him with that girl, Val?, again. They were doing the things you used to do together before the fallout. It made you sick to your stomach, but you said nothing. Maybe you deserved all of this, you thought.

“Lattes after class?” Kayla’s chirpy voice snapped you out of your reverie.

“Hm?” You weren’t really in the mood, but you tried your best to smile through it.

“They brought in the pumpkin spice ones early this season! Can you believe it?” She giggled excitedly, throwing her arm around your shoulder as she proceeded to whisper into your ear, “Come on, you and I need some girl-to-girl talk.”

As you made your way towards the cafe, you caught sight of Leon with his arm around Val on the other side of the street. Kayla wrinkled her nose at them, as she quickened her pace, pulling you along. “Smooth, real smooth, Kennedy,” she muttered under breath.

Whilst it was comforting to know you had someone who supported you through this - something which you didn’t expect, not least from Kayla - you were flung into the center of drama and gossip again.

Clink. Kayla placed both cups of coffee on the table as she sat down, adjusting her mini skirt before turning to face you attentively. “Spill it.”

You shrugged, glancing around awkwardly.

She tried prompting you at first, “Did he break up with you?” No answer.

“He did something stupid.” No answer.

“Oh my god, he cheated on you, didn’t he?” She accused melodramatically, such that a couple of customers in the cafe glowered over in displeasure at the noise.

You slapped a palm against your forehead and cringed. “Kayla, please.”

“Oops, sorry.”

You sighed, deciding that perhaps it would do some good to open up a little, instead of keeping things to yourself all the time. “It was me. I fucked up, ok?”

“Bullshit,” she scoffed. “It always takes two to tango.” She checked out her manicured nails for a second before continuing, “And even if he was the sweet angel as you claim he is, he sure is fucking it up spectacularly now.”

You raised an eyebrow. Strong choice of words. “Look, we were never really together. I mean, we did some things-” You paused, swallowing anxiously. “-friends don’t usually do.”

She gave you a knowing smirk, gesturing at you to continue.

“I told him…” At this, your voice cracked, “I didn’t want him, Kayla.” Your mouth quivered, as stray tears welled up in the corners of your eyes.

“Oh, babe,” she cooed. “But you do, don’t you?” She placed her hand over yours understandingly.

You weren’t used to crying, especially not out in the open like this. You pulled away from Kayla, wiping the tears away roughly with the back of your hand, as you straightened up and put on the same facade you always do. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s with Val-”

Immediately, Kayla scowled. “That girl has some nerve! I knew it,” she spat. “Always waiting in the sidelines to bag your man.”

“It’s not her fault!” You protested. As far as you were concerned, you and Leon hadn’t made any promises to each other. He was free to go out with whoever he wanted.

Kayla rolled her eyes, “I’m sure she couldn’t wait one hot minute.”

“If that’s the case, then Leon should’ve waited too, right?” You argued. If you had to go along with this warped way of reasoning with her, then so be it.

“Fair enough,” she conceded, though you could tell that she wasn’t exactly happy about the outcome, and you wanted to put a stop to whatever mean girl prank she had up her sleeve.

“I’m serious. Don’t,” you warned.

She threw up her hands in mock surrender. “Ok, Miss Party Pooper… I won’t do anything to her. I swear!”

━━━━━━━━━━━

It took you a while to realize what Kayla’s actual plan of action was. In her typical fashion, it was loud, flashy and drew the attention of the whole school. It happened during lunch break in one of the weeks following your girl talk. You had seated yourself with the rest of the cheer team at the cafeteria, when you saw her slam her cutlery down on the table, snarling, “That’s it. I’ve had enough of this shit!”

The rest of the girls including you stared at her in shock, as she stormed up to where the other sports teams usually sat. She made a beeline for the blonde boy whom you’d been moping about for most of the term now, situating herself between him and his latest flame. You couldn’t hear what she was saying, but it made Val scurry off, before she and Leon entered into some sort of shouting match. You only managed to make out bits and pieces of it.

“What the fuck’s your problem?”

“Let me guess, the classy rebound-” Slow clap.

“Stay out of it-”

“You’re the one causing trouble!”

The next minute, she pointed at you, motioning to come over. Leon’s eyes grew dark, giving you a withering glare as you walked towards them with a mix of reluctance and unease. You despised being singled out like this, but you needed to put an end to running away from your problems.

Once you had made your way over, Kayla, who was seemingly pretty satisfied herself, barked out an order, “You two, just sort it out! It’s driving me insane.”

When she left the table and the curious onlookers - which meant literally everyone in the cafeteria - had decided to resume back to whatever they were doing, you uttered the first words to Leon in a long time, “Well, that was awkward.”

“You don’t say.”

“Listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t know she would get like that,” you admitted.

He still held his guard up as he regarded you stoically. “So what did you want to talk about?”

You sighed, hoping you would do better this time. But there was just so much to say. Where to start? “I just wanted apologize for what I said that day,” you treaded cautiously. “I miss you, Leon.” You were getting glassy-eyed again, but you braved on. “And I still really care about you.”

His lips were pinched together as he considered your words. He had his reservations, but his hard gaze was slowly faltering. For a while, he didn’t respond. Just as you thought you had overstayed your welcome, he piped up almost inaudibly, “I care, too.”

You nodded in response and took your leave. You knew things would never be the same again, but this was enough for now.

━━━━━━━━━━━

The atmosphere between you and Leon remained tense, but at least it was amicable now. Apparently, Val was out of the picture. Nothing happened, they went on a date or two and Leon called it off. Well, that was what was going through the rumor mill anyway.

Still, it killed you inside, as it felt like you had lost a lover and a best friend. When you received your acceptance letter in December from Tisch, you didn’t even know whether to celebrate or not. Moreover, the one person you would have celebrated with was hardly in your life anymore. Kayla pushed you to tell Leon regardless, and you started to think maybe you had the wrong impression of some of your schoolmates after all. They did seem to look out for you, in their own weird way. It was like reading Pride and Prejudice all over again.

That’s what brought you in front of Leon’s front door, as you rang the doorbell in anticipation. You flinched as the door opened. The corridor was bathed in a warm, golden glow as the light filtered through the doorway, partly blocked by Leon, who peered out at you curiously. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you called out timidly. God, it was like you were strangers again. “Um, can I come in?”

“S-sure.” He held the door open for you, as you took in your surroundings. It had been months since you’d last visited, but nothing much had changed.

“So… what can I do for you?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. You weren’t used to this formal way of addressing each other. It gave you goosebumps.

“I thought it was only right to let you know,” you started. Your hands were trembling as you held out a thick white envelope towards Leon. “I-I got in.”

He took the envelope in his hands, frowning as he opened it. As he glanced over the papers, a spark of recognition shone in his eyes. “Oh! Uh-” He looked like he was at a loss for words as a wave of conflicting emotions washed over him. “Congratulations! I guess.”

“Thanks.” You nipped at your lip lightly, wondering if your next question would be appropriate. “Can I have a hug?”

For a fleeting instant, he looked like a deer in the headlights, but then he got a hold of himself. “Y-yeah.”

It took both of you a good minute to navigate your way into an embrace, so much so you nearly laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. But once you were in each other’s arms, you relaxed, breathing in his familiar scent that you grew to love. “I missed this,” he sighed blissfully into your hair. You deepened the embrace, pulling him closer to you.

“I guess I should also tell you…” He pressed his lips to the side of your forehead as he spoke, “I’m heading to the police academy in Springfield.”

Your heart leapt out of joy and ached with melancholy at the same time. “That’s fantastic! I’m so proud of you, Leon.”

“Mm, you always know how to make me feel…” his words faded off as he broke away from your arms, but held your gaze, as if asking, “What now?”

Maybe this was your chance for the heart-to-heart that was long overdue. And you grabbed it with both hands.

“I was scared,” you started. “I didn’t know how it could work out with the distance, maybe even performing internationally…” After a brief pause, you revealed, “I thought you wanted the suburban dream.”

“When did I ever say that?” He blurted out, with a look of shock plastered across his face.

You flinched, realizing that he had a point. He never mentioned wanting that. These doubts you had appeared to stem from your own fears projected onto him. “I-I thought…” You trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

“You could’ve asked me,” he replied, seemingly perturbed from the misunderstanding that occurred between the two of you. “I really wished we talked about this.”

Your eyes dropped to the ground, as you felt a heavy weight in your chest. “I’m sorry, I just assumed it was the case.” At this, he grasped his forehead in his hands and sighed wearily.

This was all so stupid. But you needed to tell him exactly how you felt about him, especially after this wake-up call. “Leon, hear me out, please? When I lost you, I realized I was so caught up with running as far away as I could from this place, that I didn’t see how important being with you was to me.”

You forced down a lump in your throat as you continued, “You never held me back, I was wrong to say that.”

“I want you,” you confessed. “Always have.”

You felt completely exposed, as if every part of you was laid bare and open to scrutiny. “I just had to let you know, even if you don’t feel the same way about me anymore.”

As you folded your arms to brace yourself for what would come next, Leon reached out and caressed your hair comfortingly. “I-” he paused. “If this is about Val, I’m sorry I did that,” he apologized. “I was hurt, and it wasn’t fair to either of you.”

Placing his fingers under your chin, he lifted it to bring you within eye contact. “However, I need you to stop guessing what you think I might want,” he stated firmly. “I can make my own decisions, ok?”

As you nodded in agreement, his gaze softened, and he took you within his arms again, cradling your head against his chest. “And… you haven’t lost me, but I need some time.” He sighed. “This was all just-”

At that moment, you were interrupted by his mom, who’d made her way in from the living room. “Gosh, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

You and Leon let go of each other self-consciously, as she spontaneously invited you to dinner with the family that evening, which had just been freshly cooked and served out on the dining table. As you shared in the laughter and light-hearted conversations together, you couldn’t help but feel a sliver of hope about your future with the boy sitting beside you.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Prom night was coming up. At least that was what Kayla kept reminding you. You still had a few months to prepare, but for her it was the most important social event of high school. No one had asked you out yet, and Kayla felt that wouldn’t do. Secretly, you wished Leon would have made a move by now, but maybe things were still too raw.

As you emptied out your locker, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Spinning around, you brushed up against one of the footballers you had hardly spoken with during your school years. He must have noticed the bemusement on your face, as he spoke first, “Wanna go to the prom with me?”

From afar, you heard a distant giggle and narrowed your eyes at the source. Kayla’s sly grin gave it away. She set the whole thing up. Why?

You glanced between her and the beefy guy in front of you. Clearly not your type. At all. “Uh…” you tried to stall, wondering how you were going to maneuver your way out of this situation.

Suddenly, a figure emerged from the side, snaking an arm around your waist, causing you to yelp in surprise. “She’s coming with me.” You’d recognize that voice anywhere.

Hm, this was getting interesting. Talk about Mr Knight in Shining Armor to the rescue.

Leon turned to face you. “Am I right?”

“Y-yeah, I’d like-,” you paused to recollect yourself. “I’m going with you,” you confirmed with a hint of shyness.

The footballer backed off, raising his hands in the air as he excused himself clumsily. “Sorry man, my bad. I didn’t know she was taken.” Leon was giving him the stink eye all the way through.

“You trying to make me jealous, baby?”

Baby? You gulped. What the hell has gotten into him? You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. But his arm was still resting on your waist with no intention of letting go anytime soon.

You saw Kayla shrug and dust her hands, before sashaying away. You had to hand it to her though. Fucking mastermind genius.

“Well, you never asked.”

“I did now,” he retorted smugly.

Ok, so you were back to bantering. Guess you could deal. But it still didn’t answer the question on where you stood with him. Had he finalized his thoughts since that talk you had?

“Leon,” you sighed. “Is this your way of saying you’d like to make things official?”

“Sorry about that. I was kinda put on the spot,” he admitted bashfully, as if he had been caught doing something wrong and now had a tail between his legs.

“But yeah, I want to,” he professed. “Do you?” He stared at you, swallowing nervously. “I mean, would you like to be my, uh- girlfriend?”

You gave him a coy smile, copying one of his previous lines in response. “Sure, I suck at it. So why not?”

“Never know till you try.” He beamed in return, unable to conceal the sheer look of happiness on his face any longer. “Guess we can figure out the rest along the way.”

“Uh huh.” You glanced around, all of a sudden painfully aware that you both were having this conversation in full public view. Although the other students were pretending not to pay attention, you knew they had seen and overheard everything.

A hot flush rose to your face. It didn’t seem to deter Leon as he tugged you closer with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. You had an inkling of what was about to unfold, but you chose to embrace it.

“Let’s give them a show, shall we?” He smirked, and with that, his lips collided into yours, as you made out against the lockers, oblivious to the world around you.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy smut #high school au #college au #re2 leon #re2 remake #resident evil 2 #resident evil #porcelainscribbles

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eagerbby · 2 years

Text

ᴀɴ ᴇɴᴄᴏᴜɴᴛᴇʀ | ᴇᴍ

pairing| Eddie Munson x female reader

synopsis| A quickie turns into crushing feelings and mounting doubt; the realization that sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t feel so great.

an| the synopsis is bullshit, I really don’t have an explanation for this. just a quick little piece I needed to remove from my head. briefly edited so ignore any mistakes.

warnings| 3K, protected sex, drug use, angst, wandering hands, lack of communication

I dumped my boyfriend.

It all started with that one sentence. Eddie could tell you were in a mood as soon as he pulled into the deserted parking lot. You were leaning against the trunk of your car, bare legs crossed at your frill covered ankles, the hem of your skirt trembling in the early autumn breeze.

You gave him a smile as he hopped out the van, eyes twinkling under the candescent moon beam that burst free from the dying leaves over head.

"Hey there, handsome." You offered him a wink as he stepped in front of you, ringed fingers clasping tightly to the keys tucked against his palm.

"Hey, yourself." You looked so beautiful; always so beautiful. It should be illegal.

"Got the goods?"

Of course he did, that's the whole reason he was there and yet he still nodded his head, curls shaking vigorously around his shoulders, before opening the back door of his van and ushering you inside.

That was an hour ago- and oh how much an hour can change things.

"Oh, fuck, Eddie." You toss your head back as you work your hips, nails digging into the leather of the side behind him.

Eddie's holding onto your hips for dear life, scared if he lets go for one second he'll wake up and realize this has all just been a dream.

Wouldn't be the first.

What was meant to be a simple drug deal, one of many that have happened between the two of you within the last couple months, had quickly escalated into a wet fucking dream. Eddie's wet dream; to be exact.

"G-god, that thing you do with your hips is incredible."

Eddie's trying his hardest to keep his eyes locked on you. One; because this will probably never happen again. Two; because you fuck like a demon. Or a goddess. Eddie can't differentiate which at the moment, not when you swivel you hips as you take all of his fat cock down to the base, ass cheeks making a hollow slap against his balls every time.

It's incredible, really, that he can even breathe. He's pretty sure at some point he couldn't because his chest heaves with every sharp moan you pull from him, your sweet lips suckling against his ear lobe enough to make him cum right now. But he won't, not yet.

"Mm, you like that, pretty boy?" You ask doing it once again, but slower, more tantalizing. A teasing circle of your hips, clenching around the thick throb of him and Eddie nearly chokes on his tongue when he realizes you're spelling his name.

"Oh my god. Don't stop, please, don't stop." He flushes a deep crimson when you chuckle against his jaw line, pressing fat wet kisses down towards his collarbone.

"You're so easy, pretty boy. Taking everything I give you and still begging for more. Insatiable boy." You bite into the hot skin at the base of his neck, pulling a wanton moan from his kiss bruised lips.

"Wanted you for so long, oh Jesus, e-every time you come to me you wear those short little skirts. Driving me nuts." His voice is thoroughly wreaked, cracking against every syllable, hiccupping when you start bouncing on him in earnest, your slick dripping down the seam of his balls.

"So easy." You coo into his ear before yanking his head back harshly. Eddie whimpers at the sudden pain, neck drawn taut as you stare down at him with dark eyes, pupils blown so wide he can barely see their beautiful color.

"M' close." He manages to gasp out, hand fumbling between your sweaty bodies to rub hard fast circles on your swollen clit. Eddie watches your whole body quake at the added pleasure, falling against his chest as your riding falters slightly.

"Gonna cum, pretty boy." You wrap your arms around his neck and thread your fingers through his thick hair as you fuck him senselessly, chasing that wicked snap of heat that spreads across your skin as you cum hard and fast, barreling through your climax as it rips a startled moan from your throat.

Your thighs shake as Eddie takes over, holding tight to your waist as he bucks himself into your spasming core, the sound of how fucking wet you are sending him over the edge only a minute after you. He fucks into as he shoots his hot spend into the condom you pulled from your bra, his arms wrapped tight around you as he holds you close.

"Holy fuck."

It's all he can say as he gains his breath back, whining as you pull off of him weakly, thighs still trembling as you sit down beside him and pull your underwear back up your legs.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." You giggle, grabbing the pack of cigarettes on the floor next to your socked foot as your eyes land on them. Eddie passes you his lighter with a soft smile, watches the way your cheeks hollow around an inhale.

It was starting to set in as you sat there in silence beside him, head lolled back against the seat, eyes closed; he was simply a rebound.

Which wouldn't have bothered him had he not had a crush on you since the beginning of time. You'd grown up together in Hawkins, not as friends, but as acquaintances. At the most you'd smile at him when you saw him and never bought in to the shit people said about him. When you came to him last semester he was shocked to say the least. But he was also excited. Excited at the thought of spending time alone with you, even if it was once a week when you needed to re-up. Those thirty minutes were usually his best of the whole week.

But this changes things, like the way his crush was exploding to sharp jagged pieces at his feet. The creeping feeling of a thing called love crawling through his chest like vines, clinging to bone and tissue.

But he was just a rebound.

A sickening wave of insecurity washes over him and he peeks at you from the corner of his eyes, too scared to really look at you.

"Wa-was it…was it any good…for you?"

You crack one eye open, thinking if you heard him correctly, head popping up in a quick whish as you sit up fully.

"Was it good for me?" You question back and when Eddie nods you laugh and shove his shoulder. "Fuck yes it was, are you serious?"

The cheeriness in your voice has him biting at his lip to hide the full blown smile threatening to expose him. He blooms with pride, veins spreading thicker against the cage of his ribs.

"My thighs are still shaking, actually." You observe out loud. Eddie lets out a sharp guffaw, snatching the joint out of the cigarette pack in the space between you two.

"You're welcome." It has you rolling your eyes as you take the joint from his fingers, a cigarette still burning between your knuckles.

"Why'd you ask that?" You ask as you pass the now lit joint back, catching the way his face drops infinitesimally.

Eddie hides behind the curtain of his hair as he inhales that earthy smoke, holding it in his lungs a little longer than he normally would.

"Uh, you just got quiet, wanted to make sure." It was a pathetic excuse to cover the even more pathetic truth.

"Oh, yeah sorry about that. Usually takes a minute to come down from cumming that hard." You mash the cherry of your cigarette into the ashtray before leaning back against the seat, only this time you keep your eyes trained on him.

"Do you usually cum that hard?" Eddie questions carefully.

"Honestly, only with myself. No guy has ever made me cum, period." A pause as you raise your eyebrows and tip you head towards him. "Except you, I guess."

Shit, that was a bigger ego boost than the time he played for twenty-five people at The Hideout, and this time he can’t stop the smile that stretches across his face.

“Well, you know, I’m always here to help.”

You giggle at this, busy finishing tying your shoe, Eddie wants to ask you to stay longer but he doesn’t say a word as you shove the little baggie filled with his newest batch of pot into your brown bag.

“I gotta get home, but uh, thanks. I had fun.”

Eddie rubs the back of his neck, looking up at you with big round eyes, his smile fading as the back door of the van creaks open. “I’ll see you around?” It wasn’t supposed to be a question, but it comes out as such, his voice breaking off at the end when you peek up at him as your rubber soles slap against the black cracking asphalt as you jump out the van.

“Later, Eds.” You throw him a wink as you walk away and Eddie sits in his spot on the scratchy carpet of his van with his belt unbuckled and his shirt a wrinkled mess against his chest, listening to the soft hum of your car's motor as you drive off into the night.

The vines crowding his lungs tighten with your absence, longing for you to come back.

—

Eddie doesn’t hear from you again for a couple weeks, though he sees you around town hanging with your gaggle of fluffy haired friends, flocked around a couple jocks as they show off for them. He likes the fact that you pay no attention to their sad attempt, instead sitting on top of a picnic table smoking a cigarette, rolling your eyes every time your friends erupt into a chorus of giggles.

It’s not until almost a month later that you show up at his front door, banging incessantly until Eddie answers.

“Uh, hey?” He watches you pace the brown carpet of the living room, hands shaking at your sides, face scrunched up in frustration. “Are you okay?” Eddie starts to walk towards you but you beat him to it, crossing the space between your bodies, eyes wild and watery.

“I really need a distraction right now, do you… do you have any weed?” He’s never seen you this irate before and it worries him. What made you so upset that you'd seek him out in the middle of the night?

“How much do you need?” He asks gently as he leads you to his bedroom. He leaves you to look around as he squats next to his desk, yanking open the bottom drawer to reveal his stash.

“I- I have enough for a dime bag, that’s it.” You mutter out, running a delicate finger across the strings of his acoustic.

Eddie quickly bags twenty dollars worth of the sticky green bud, knees popping as he stands and hands it to you.

“This… Eddie this is way more than a gram.” You eye him suspiciously, unsure if he’s made a mistake or not.

“No, I know. It’s fine, half price.” Eddie shrugs, shifting from one bare foot to the other, he doesn’t like the way you’re looking at him like he’s done something wrong.

“No.” You shake your head, shoving the baggie into his chest as you shake your head. “You’d be totally ripping yourself off. Gimme ten dollars worth and I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Come on, sweetheart, just take it. You’re my best customer anyways.” Eddie starts to smile but it quickly vanishes as your eyes fill with tears and your entire face falls. “Hey, hey, please don’t cry!”

He guides you to sit on his bed, your body crumpling in on itself as you cover your face with shaking hands. He’s clueless on what to do, settles on rubbing a steady hand up and down your back.

“F-fuck, I’m sorry, Eddie.” You’re wiping at your cheeks, eyes darting around his dimly lit room. “I’ve had such a shit week, I can’t believe I’m crying at my dealers house.” You scoff a humorless laugh that makes him frown.

My dealers house. Is that all you saw him as, your dealer? He’d hoped after the last time he’d at least be considered a friend.

“Wanna talk about it?” He offers, lips twisting into a one sided smile when you meet his eyes.

“You don’t wanna hear about my shit.” You deadpan, your face sullen, eyes blank. You look like you haven’t slept in days, the bags under your eyes incredibly telling.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn't want to know.” He counters, leaning over you to grab his abandoned joint from the ashtray.

You hesitate before erupting into a fast paced tangent that Eddie can barely keep up with. College and your parents and your ex boyfriend sleeping with the one girl he always told you not to worry about. By the time you're done talking you've slumped down into his pillows, eyes glued to the ceiling as you calm your breathing.

"I'm just so tired, I wanted to be an adult so bad and now… now I wish I could be as careless as a child again." You sigh deeply, fingers toying with a loose thread on his pillow case. Eddie crawls up beside you after stubbing out the joint you'd been sharing.

"Sounds like a lot." He says, balling up one of his blankets into a makeshift pillow. You look over at him, eyes hooded with exhaustion and yet still so pretty.

"I'm sorry, I came over here and cried and dumped all my shit on you without even asking how you were." You turn on your side to face him, hand tucked under your cheek. "How are you, Eddie?"

He chuckles. "Right now? Right now I'm laying next to the prettiest girl in Hawkins so… doing pretty good, sweetheart."

You roll your eyes at him but the toothy smile on your face tells him all he needs to know. "Always the charmer, aren't you, Eddie Munson."

"Always." He whispers, reaching out to stroke his finger down your cheek. Your eyes flutter shut and you yawn. "Hey, uh, if you want you can sleep here for a little bit."

"Yeah?" You ask through an even bigger yawn. "You sure you won't mind?"

"Not at all. Sleep." With that he covers your body with his softest blanket before rolling off the bed. He pulls the string on his side lamp before shutting the door, the sound of your soft snores already filtering through the air.

—

He doesn't realize he's fallen asleep until he's woken up suddenly, a warm body pressing into his own on the small space of the couch.

"I didn't mean to wake you." You whisper in the darkness, smoothing your hand down the front of his shirt, your head laid against his shoulder. Eddie moves to wrap his arm around you, securing your body to his so you won't fall off as he shifts to make more room.

"S'okay, sweetheart." Truthfully he can't remember even laying down, let alone letting sleep carry him under. His heart picks up its pace when your hand stills to rest right below his belly button, thumb coasting soothingly against the waistband of his boxers.

A peaceful quiet takes over, neither of you speaking as you settle into his warm embrace. He can't help but love the way you feel pressed against him this, not sexual, but still intimate in a way Eddie has never experienced.

"Hey, Eddie?" You speak after a while. "I'm sorry I ran out on you that night in your van." If you feel him tense under you as your fingers breach the elastic of his boxers, you don't say anything.

Eddie can't seem to say anything either, not when your hand keeps going lower and lower and his heart is racing so fast it threatens to burst from his chest.

"I didn't want to leave and I guess that's the problem. I never want to leave when I'm with you." You grasp his thick length in your hands, tightening your grip at his tip, thumb swiping over his leaking slit. "This okay?" You ask softly into the sensitive skin of his neck, teeth nipping at the skin there when he nods.

"Use your words, baby."

"Don't fucking stop." It rushes out from between his lips in a hurried whisper, his eyes clenching tight as your hand explores his throbbing cock.

"Feels good?" You ask and he's sure you already know the answer by the way he can't stop his hips from bucking up into your hand.

"I think about that night a lot, you know. Haven't even been interested in anyone else since it happened. Can only think about you." You're fucking panting in his ear, like you're working yourself up with your own words.

"Need you to fuck me, Eddie. Need to feel you inside me again. Can't stop thinking about it. Think I might be addicted to you-"

Eddie has you flat against your back on his hard floor, quieting your surprised yelp with his mouth slotted against your own.

He kisses you fiercely, hands cupping your cheeks as your teeth click and he grinds his hard cock into the space between your legs.

"Fuck me, Eddie, please." Your breath fans hot across his cheek and despite his raging hard on and his desperate need to be inside you; he stops.

Because once again, that nefarious thought weaves its way into his brain until it's all he can think of, flashing across the backs of his eyes like a giant neon sign.

He is still only a rebound.

"I can't." He says, sitting on his knees between your spread thighs.

"Ed- what? What's wrong?" You scurry to sit up, almost smacking your foreheads together if Eddie hadn't moved just in time to avoid a painful collision. The wideness of your eyes, the rejection settled inside the brilliant color of your irises make his heart thud painfully.

"I can't do this just because you're vulnerable and lonely." His tone is hard, harder than he meant it to be, but he doesn't stop to fix it. He can't fuck you and watch you leave. Not again.

"I'm not that fucking vulnerable, Eddie." You hiss, scooting away from him.

"I watched you cry not even three hours ago, sweetheart. You're exhausted and vulnerable and what type of man would I be if I took advantage of that?" He can see your guard going up, that wall you've built out of brick and barbed wire to protect yourself. He doesn't want you to pull away, slip through his fingers, but Eddie also doesn't want to be the guy you fuck just because you feel bad.

"Is that what you think? That I'm only fucking you because I feel bad about myself?"

It takes a minute for Eddie to realize what he's said out loud and by then you've already blown past him to his bedroom, closing in on the front door with your purse in hand once you've returned from the back of his trailer.

You stop right as your hand touches the cold metal of the door knob, turning back sharply on your heel to glare at the boy still kneeling on his living room floor. You toss the ten dollar bill at him and he watches it flutter weakly to the carpet.

"Just so you know, I fucked you because I like you, not because you were the only guy who would listen to my shit." Your chin wobbles once before you purse your lips tightly, nostrils flaring as you suck in a shaky breath willing yourself not to cry. "You can be a real jerk, Eddie Munson."

Then you're gone and he can hear your shoes stomp down his front steps, the slam of your car door, the scatter of gravel as you peel out of the trailer park, and Eddie hangs his head feeling like a fucking idiot.

"Fuck!" He screams, punching his fists into the carpet over and over until the searing pain radiates up his wrists. He collapses back against the couch with a full thud, palms pressed hard into his eye sockets.

Inside his chest, beneath the growing, crawling, mass of vines- his heart aches.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson #stranger things x reader #stranger things smut

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artist-issues · 8 days

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Your words and your posts have been incredibly disheartening for me to see. My mother left the church. She is not an apostate, but she did question the church’s teachings in secret. She completely left faith when I was born. I have congenital heart defects, which I was born with. I nearly died on the operating table. For this reason, my mother and I do not believe in God, who is said to be all-powerful and all-benevolent. My mother is a wonderful person. She risked her life in the Covid-19 pandemic as she works at a hospital. If anyone deserved to live in an eternal paradise, it would be her. Your LGBTQ+ views have also upset me. My oldest friend, who I have known since before I could even remember, is transgender and gay, and have been more supportive to me as a disabled person than any Christian has been. I’m only 18 years old, yet I know that you chose faith over experiences with the wonderful parts of humanity. Respectfully, please reconsider your views on gay and trans people.

I truly appreciate how thoughtfully and respectfully you typed out this message. It is clear that these matters mean a lot to you and I'm going to go ahead and assume that you aren't speaking out of any kind of hate.

I would just offer you a counter-perspective, and maybe by understanding where I'm coming from, you can see that I'm not speaking out of any kind of hate for people, either. I'm half blind. I was born that way. My twin sister and I were taken by emergency cesareans-section when we were incredibly, dangerously premature. My twin was given no chance of survival; the cesarean was just meant to give me a 50% chance of survival. At the time, my mother was recently married to a 19 year-old drug dealer after her own father abused and abandoned her and her mother. She'd been living apart from the faith for years, rejecting God to follow the occult or whatever political party had hear heart at the time. My father hated God.

But when my sister and I were fighting for life for weeks on end, and nobody was sure if we would live or die, and they had to bring us home with heart monitors because our hearts would literally stop beating several times a night, my mom realized how helpless she was to do anything to save us. And she prayed. And we lived. Both of us. Not only that, but my father, at 19 years old, addicted to drugs since the age of 13, narrowly escaped death and gave his life to Christ. After a whole life of having no social skills unless he was high, doing whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted, and caring about nothing but himself, now he is a Pastor (bi-vocationally; he is also a tradesman working with his hands) and has given me and all my family, and many other families, everything we have in our lives through his dedicated and faithful life. He and my mother have been happily married and serving God with their whole lives for almost thirty years now.

And not only them, but me, my twin sister, my younger sister, my little brother, my grandfather (who was an actual killer and drug addict as well) we all know God. We all have a relationship with Him. And that's the biggest most wonderful gift He gave us, out of all those wonderful things He did for us. Saving my life, my dad's life, my twin's life, changing who they were and making them new people.

I'm not telling you all that to like, compare disabilities or traumas or whatever. That would be ridiculous for lots of reasons. But I'm just trying to be honest.

It's not a religion or a system of beliefs that I've subscribed to. It's not a social flag I live under. It's not something I do just because my parents or the people in my immediate community have shown me. It's because He's real, and He showed Himself to me—when it's just me and Him, and nobody else's opinion or say-so matters— and it's all really true—everything the Bible says. And He's so much better, and so much more benevolent, than anyone on earth can describe to you.

And, at the same time, when you understand who He is, and who we are...the question isn't "how could a good God let anyone go to Hell instead of paradise?" The question is, "how could He let any of us live after what we did?" It's hard. But seriously, just play pretend with me for a bit, if only to "understand my perspective." Pretend there was a God, all-powerful, endlessly loving, in fact, Love Itself. The love that was His very nature spilled out so much that He created—created beautiful, amazing, complex creatures who were intrinsically full of worth and light, and made to reflect Him, that Love, back to Him, and share in it. A big happy family.

And then those creatures from the dirt committed cosmic treason and said "screw You, I don't care if You created me and I don't care if You love me or want to be in relationship with me: I want to be You. I want to call the shots." And those creatures from the dirt basically did the cosmic version of climbing in their father's lap to spit in His face, and go stab each other over fleeting pleasures in the gutter because the mansions He was offering them wasn't as good as pretending they could be gods of their own lives.

That's the story. Thats what happened. Read Genesis, if you have the time and if you're of the heart to. And because of what we chose, we got twisted up. I'm sure you read that, in my posts. So even the thing we were made for—love—got mangled up inside us and we can't express it the right way anymore.

He would've been justified in wiping us out. Starting over with new creatures. We were His creation. He gets to decide what we are and what to do with us: we betrayed and insulted and defied our rightful King. But He's not like that. He had no reason to--no obligation to--but He chose to do the work and make a way for us to be back in relationship with Him. And He chose to do it by subjecting Himself to unimaginable torture and darkness, which would have been ours by right if He hadn't taken it for us.

I know that you love your mom. It is plain to see. And I understand the feeling. But if you really get to know the God of the actual Bible, instead of just the memes and the flawed people who try to explain Him—if you really get to know Him, between you and Him, you'll see that He actually loves your mom more than you do. And He loves you more than you, or anyone, does. Because He knows you both better and more intimately than you even know Yourselves. He made you. It'd be like an author getting to dive down into the story and tell their characters everything about themselves.

That's the kind of love we were made for. The kind of love that is there even though you don't deserve it, even though you're not entitled to it—the kind of love that would die for you while you're still hating Him.

I mean just stop and think about it, clear your brain of everything everyone has ever told you about LGBTQ+ and all that. And just think: can you love someone wholeheartedly and still know they're in the wrong? Even when they wholeheartedly believe they're right? Even when they're hurt by you believing they're in the wrong? Of course you can. Anyone who's had a loved one with a self-destructive habit, like alcohol addiction or an abusive lover or just a toxic personality trait or two, can relate to that common sense. They can say, "of course I love you. That's why I'm telling you to stop doing this, it's hurting you, it's not good for you, I know it doesn't feel that way, but it's the truth."

So if you believe that there are some circumstances where that applies, what makes it so unloving for this hypothetical God, who knows the best thing for your friend and knows your friend better than you do, to say so about being LGBTQ+? Why should LGBTQ+ be any different?

Well, the answer, of course, is that you don't believe it is true that it's wrong. Because, if we rewind, you don't believe in God. But you just told me that you came to that conclusion kind of...after feeling hurt by Him. You almost died, first , then your mom chose to leave Him behind and go ahead and live as if He doesn't exist. And you did, too.

But let's go back to playing pretend. If God exists, then He didn't act how you think He should've, as an "benevolent" God: He didn't do YOUR version of "good." So you abandoned Him. (We're pretending like He exists, from your perspective.) He didn't do your version of good, you feel mistreated, so you walked away from Him.

But He would never do that to you. If He's the kind of person the Bible says He is, He doesn't treat you that way. When you (humanity) didn't do His version (which is the only real version, since He invented it) of good, He didn't abandon you. He totally could have. But instead He made a way for your relationship to get fixed. But you have free will. So He's not going to force you to love Him and accept the gift. If you want to continue for all eternity without being with Him, you can. He gives you that option.

But then don't wonder why people who choose that option don't get "eternal paradise." Because according to the Bible, that's all heaven is: getting to be in relationship with God forever. Fully who He made you to be. If you don't want that, He won't force it: in fact, He couldn't. It wouldn't be just, and He is always just.

The truth is, after what we did to Him, none of us deserve anything from Him. I didn't deserve to survive in that ICU. Neither did my sister. Neither did my father or mother or grandfather. None of us should be allowed to inhale another breath; we're the King's people who betrayed Him and tried to steal His throne. But He is so good that instead He turns around and adopts us.

I know this is rambly. But you messaged me so genuinely, I just sort of wrote this as if I were sitting down and talking it all out, one word in front of the other, with you. I don't know you. I know these are very hot button topics, and very personal issues; but like you, I think they're of the utmost importance.

So I will keep considering the LGBTQ+ and transgender issues—but you have to understand that I'm in service to the King, so to speak. I love Him, He loves me, and He's my God. When I consider any part of reality, it's impossible to do so without Him as the center and standard of truth. Without Him, who gets to decide what's right or wrong? Just me. And on my own, I am inconsistent, selfish, ruinous. But I'm not on my own. And in the meantime, I'll ask you to consider God, the real God, of the Bible. Not what a church of whatever denomination tells you—not to start with. Not what I tell you, or anyone tells you. Just what He said about Himself, straight from the Bible. Let Him speak for Himself. Thanks for reaching out.

#very long post #Asked #answered #Christianity #me #LGBTQ+#transfenderism #testimony #Christian #Bible #Jesus Christ #Yahweh

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scarefox · 2 months

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idk maybe we wait till the drama is over before we do the big judging?

Because so far the drama always played with social expectations vs reality AND we constantly get evaluations and realizations from Nont summing his opinions or change of opinions up in monologues (he is one of the characters kind of representing the popular opinions at first just to learn the other side!)

You have to look at the whole drama and characters developments. not just moments because they all go through good and bad (example) phases.

Let's see where the last 2 episodes go before swinging the hammer?

Reminder: Playboyy is NOT about how the ideal world would look like but it is about how it is right NOW (in Thailand especially). Of course our characters get punished for certain sexual behaviors because that IS how society reacts. Part of the characters even represent some of those stances now and then as example. And us audience feeling bad about it is the goal. Also I think it is very well established that Captain is an ass with the worst morals sometimes. Of course we are not supposed to take his opinions and actions as valid life lessons or message even. We are supposed to dislike him (literally the cast says he is annoying and hate-able).

PLUS very important, a misunderstanding I feel happens with some dramas interpretation: sex positivity does not mean to ignore issues that come with sex and pretend as if there were none... But is especially also about talking OPENLY about those things as well as sexual freedom. There are certain possible dangers of working in the sex industry or if you constantly sleep with different people you don't even know who they are.

(bear with me a lot of rambling ahead about topics I have seen here and there the past weeks)

Playboyy is literally about what Nont says in the fist minutes of episode 1

[..]

(* "can create problems" might be a better wording here in the context. basically "sex is more than just some nasty business" and "sex causes problems sometimes" are two things that coexist)

A lot of the plot is Nonts POV which so far had the theme of Nonts discovery of the variety of sex, human feelings and relationships. GOOD and BAD. As well as the dark side of the sex industry (+ drug and mafia connections). He knew nothing about this world and was / still is very judgy of certain things... like the whole doggo video was about him thinking it's murder when it was actually kink play at the end, which he never considered (that's what I mean with expectation vs reality). The treatment of sex worker (btw intentional of the drama that we see both sides here! Please DON'T ignore that in your judgement of what the drama is telling!), the harsh way he judges Nants drug addiction.

aaand all that combined with these 6 categories for each pairing they introduced via one of Nonts monologues as well:

"Mutualism, Protocooperation, Commensalism, Parasitism, Competition, Predation" (btw not set in stone, they can grow out of these)

Do you guys remember that "Y-Destiny" (same director) was based on the week days characteristics and superstition in Thailand? I feel like Playboyy is a bit similar to Y-Destiny just with these relationship categories.

Here just some of the things I remember characters said in response to the happenings in the drama or despite the things happening in the drama (which are mainly based on real life issues I remind you)

on the society AND some characters judging virginity:

(Nants downward spiral only happened because he got coerced into losing his virginity to strangers in an industry you shouldn't go in naive. Meaning he wasn't ready for it and stumbled into things just to prove it to his judgy friends)

ignorance in the LGBTq community (is a thing obviously, see trans & queer exclusionists as worst example)

(this statement was about their physical appearance and age. But is by the only 2 characters who wear support trans and 'fuck gender norms' message shirts)

sex as a taboo topic in society:

the whole sex tape issue:

We have Puen calling Captain out on his bs. We see everyone suffering the consequences of leaked sex tapes. As well as the victims of it but also Captain himself (boy just has no self reflection abilities). But also the question on WHY leaked sex tapes are such a big deal (sex as taboo topic) that someone loses their whole career over simply just bein caught having sex. Making sex tapes such a good blackmail tool as well...

the "sex worker get treated like trash" issue:

again, yes that's the point of showing something like this as real life issues. You can't take Captain, First or even Nonts statements as "this is the shows statement" when they are all portrayed as morally grey till morally twisted even. AND we still have this whole big plot point of Aob and Puen AND Phob constantly showing and talking about the issues they have to deal with as sex workers. (+ the Soong, Teena, Jump at the beginning saying it wouldn't be that bad of a job under better circumstances, if their boss wasn't so horrible. again not just a black and white image here). THIS TOO is part of the show and it's message, which weights way more than Nont calling Puen "that sex worker" or whatever (maybe he doesn't even know his name). Nont is pissy and biased of that whole topic and specifically about Playboyy employees because of his brothers death.

And First being a selfish sadistic prick to said sex workers, when they gave him basic consent is a similar issue he had with Soong in the beginning (him not realizing when Soong is not into it or too tired). He knows that he messed up here, he even admitted it to Soong. My guess is that First and Captain just don't want to admit to the others? That just because they got hurt, they can not hurt others (oh that's a recurring theme in the drama btw). And idk I got the feeling First & Captain being hurt wasn't about Zouey accused them of but them both having some issues which makes them act that way?

Because the following is such a weird thing to say in that context??? (is that their "every episode we remind you this may or may not be a fictional story" thing)

"You think of us as clowns or people who make yourself look like a better person." Spoken like someone who doesn't want to admit he may be not a good guy 🤷‍♂️ aka "Oh you think you are better than me just because I am worse. Everyone hates me because I am an ass" uhm yea.

Anyways Zouey is right about criticizing them for hurting others (not the part where he called them perverted. Look not even Zouey is perfect). And I bet everyone watching it agrees with him on that. It does suck that they made him apologize. But again, First and Captain are both not characters you get your life lessons from, especially not Captain. Also the way the whole apology went was weird with these word plays?? Pretty unserious and deliberate confusing:

Like wtf does that even say? Also we know he only apologizes to get them back to work with them on the case.

---

AND regarding BDSM representation: guys, we don't just have Soong x First on that topic! We have:

Prom x Nont / Nant as GOOD example: contract, consent, aftercare, negotiation, communication (regarding sex! not the case)

Jump x Porsche as BAD example: questionable consent, literal abuse cycle and they basically just vent on each other until they realize how shitty that is. While they do have a contract apparently... they don't really follow it. It's just really sad the creators didn't spend more on screen time with developing their change properly... (bruh they literally cut one scene of Porsche kissing sleeping Jump one morning after, it's in a BTS, they should have kept that to show that they do develop feelings for eo...)

Soong x First is a mix, they both have good traits with each other, but also have/had bad traits (Soong consent issue with Nant) and First DOES have a sex addiction since episode 1. That is one of the main issues Soong has in their relationship. And it then happened that First fell down the bad mental path after some people (+ society) treated him already like a monster (treating someone like something evil they will eventually believe it themselves) and then his support system (Soong) left him. He stopped caring since nobody seemed to care about him. The thing with his dad is that the show mislead us here once again (they love to do that but sometimes it's not well done tbh). His dad is not homophobic. But was just worried about the amount of sex and BDSM / kinks his son participates in (based on prejudice tho). Unfortunately he contributed into that self-fulfilling prophecy that way.

That:

VALID and NOT kink shaming!! Having sessions all the time is big effort and can be overwhelming and exhausting if you have that constantly (especially if Soong does the most work in a role that's maybe not his preference)

The key in those BDSM relationships here is to display that bad communication and bad treatment leads to bad outcome (breaking up, causing eo harm) while good treatment and communication leads to them getting together. Them having a bit less violent sex in between (there are more kinks than just rough sex, fam) doesn't mean they turned vanilla. Like Soong x First in ep12 had some food play again 🤷‍♂️ and idk if Jump x Porsche have sex at all atm and considering their circumstances it makes sense if they don't continue the rough path for now (they didn't even had rough sex all the time prior either. It was just that Porsche used power over Jump + one time switch, now they are probably equal). Even as weirdly uncanny it might feel seeing Prom all sappy and softy when he actually tries to get Nont into a relationship outside of their sex sessions. That's not unrealistic either. Most BDSM folks have more personality and interests than just being into BDSM.

While First had his little downfall we have this statement from Prom as well:

Aaaand I will end it here for now. I am at my picture limit for this post and have a migraine ✌

Bottom line is: wait till the finale is over AND view the whole drama together with all characters paths and statements.

I agree on that some parts are rushed, came too short, some bits appear a bit tone deaf (but that can also just be judged at the end since they still have a chance to come around). 14 main characters at once + all the topics they try to address + the different vibes for each pair + connecting all of that in a murder case somehow is definitely a whole ass mammoth project. It's really difficult to manage the storytelling of that and then also consider the limited time frame.

#playboyy the series #hhhh why did I write that much #anyways cut them some slack man #and maybe don't twist the whole meaning of the drama upside down or even assume maliciousness of the writer when that's not the intention #playboyy

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melis-writes · 1 year

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Blood Money (Tony Montana x Reader Multichapter, 18+ Smut) Chapter 1 – By Chance and Fate.

Read on AO3 / Chapter Masterlist.

18+, explicit smut read.

"You know how to protect yourself." / “I never say goodbye either. I say you’re gonna remember these faces—my face."

In the wrong place at the wrong time, you can hardly call your visit to Havana as a vacation but to secure your families legacy in empty promises and a forgotten home. From the moment you first laid eyes on Tony, you knew you'd never forget his face or his name. Tomorrow, Tony and Manny would be as good as American, leaving Cuba for good but with their minds set on your hometown in Miami. Having saved your life in the blink of an eye, you're set to repay the favor by finding out just who Tony Montana is, and why he's looking and waiting for you.

[WARNINGS]: Explicit depictions & themes of violence / Minor character death / Explicit mention of injury & blood / Guns.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE]: It's finally here, just as promised!! 🥴🥰 The first chapter of my newest multi-chapter fic and it's all about Tony and the reader! You can expect a lot of sexy, kinky, dirty smut upcoming in this one. 🥵🥵 I honestly wasn't planning on doing a multi-chapter fic for Tony but then the ideas hit and I couldn't help myself lmao. Our Reader is Celeste Navarro who was also in my Tony Montana x Reader smut oneshot! ❤️ This fic is gonna be following the entire plot of the film side by side with Tony and Manny with two different endings for you guys to decide which one you prefer too. 😏 Say hello to Chapter 1!

With a taste for success and dollar bills, Tony Montana’s drug empire grew in vast wealth, power and influence by your side as the kingpin’s lover. From sharing an intimate history in Cuba, you and Manny Ribera were the only ones to believe and support Tony from rags to riches. Embroiled in the same lifestyle and sharing enemies, you and Tony come to build your empire and world together with the threat of it collapsing from the inside. As partnership turns to betrayal and thrill to danger, you find yourself in-between ultimatums and sacrifices for the man you love.

[ Havana, Cuba, 1983 ]

‘This was supposed to be paradise. For me. For mama, and for Gina. Home was enough.’

Abandoned homes once filled with growing families, shattered windows only revealing the emptiness inside and barred doors to ward off curiosity and anyone leading from the path of nostalgia surrounds the streets in which Tony and Manny grew up.

‘I never knew my father well. I forgot him. I don’t care. He left us, I left him too.’

Spending their childhood playing ball with the other children for hours on end after school with a tight-knit community, neighbors who knew one another and looked out for each other now only to see it as nothing but an abandoned slum puts nothing but resent and disappointment in Tony and Manny’s hearts.

‘Then Mama and Gina left too, to paradise. Didn’t wait for me but I’m coming. I know then, I know now. My time was coming.’

Abandoned by most residents due to poverty and safety concerns, all Tony and Manny’s childhood neighborhood can do is serve as nostalgia and a final goodbye—nothing more.

‘I’m gonna go too. Make my own paradise. Trust nobody but me. I be the millionaire that thank nobody. That’s what I wanna be.’

Dressed in a pair of slacks and a white beater top stained with sweat from the heat and humidity of the day, this is nothing but a trip down memory lane for the last time since Tony and Manny might as well live it down.

“This no fucking family street no more, man,” Tony mumbles, looking up at the rotting wooden planks barring up doors and smashed windows; loose, twisted nails sticking out of crumbling walls with chunks of chipping paint peeled off. “This a fucking dump.”

“They ruined this place, man,” Manny frowns at his surroundings, realizing how noticeably dingy and disgusting the block appears with shadows cast over it from the setting sun. “We was right here, playing together in the streets.”

“Mama used to watch us up from there, remember?” Tony points up at his childhood home, no different from the rest remaining to be eyesores down the block. “When we play ball with the kids from the other neighborhood. Now look at all that.”

Whether some of the surrounding buildings may still be occupied as hideouts or drug houses are another story altogether, but it’s a bitter visit for the two prepared to never return back to Havana again.

“Knew it like the back of my hand,” Tony’s eyes dart over his neighbor’s worn down, abandoned home. “Mama always say gotta get through these kinda places to get what you want.”

“Mama didn’t see no communists coming, man,” Manny kicks a pebble in front of him glumly.

Poverty wasn’t completely unknown in these streets, but the bond and sense of community overpowered everything else.

When Tony and Manny were just children growing up, they witnessed firsthand for themselves families helping other families, neighbors taking turns to watch the kids out in the streets, keeping the neighborhood clean, and supporting every resident that one could.

But with Castro, the communists, and rebellions pouring through incessantly over the last many years, the next time poverty struck Tony and Manny’s hometown, it struck hard and was here to outlast every last resident.

Folks gathered all they had and wept through their goodbyes to all they knew was once their home but had to move on for their own safety. The last thing anyone wanted was trouble or to see murderers and petty thieves littering the streets.

Nobody looked back, no matter how much they wanted to, and the same was also said for Tony and Manny’s families too.

Manny’s family moved to an entirely different city altogether, but Tony’s mother and sister were easily and quickly approved to immigrate to the United States.

Tony saw the streets as an escape and knew his country like the back of his hand, but his absence from home and disobedience towards his mother was the exact reason why Tony found out the hard way that he was staying behind; everyone had already left and only looked out for themselves.

Tony had a deadbeat, absent father who already officially abandoned the family years back, but with his mother and sister leaving for the United States, Tony would have to be stupid to stick around in Havana any longer.

Memories or not, this neighborhood can’t mean anything to Tony and Manny now. Since the two left, they stayed in a house together and never looked back—waiting for their chance to immigrate to the United States too.

After months of bickering, confusion, and paperwork, Tony and Manny refused to relent and give up; they were determined on the process from beginning to end.

Tonight officially marks Tony and Manny’s last night in Havana, let alone Cuba. The two are set to board a ship bound for the United States, leaving everything behind for good as they sought.

Tomorrow, Tony and Manny may just consider themselves as good as Americans. Tomorrow, they’d start a new life and forget Havana—forget home—and gladly leave everything behind.

That’s what’s supposed to happen. That’s what’s waiting for Tony and Manny and all they were waiting for was an opportunity to get out and go into a paradise of their own in Miami, Florida.

Tony was never supposed to meet you. You were never supposed to see each other or cross each other’s paths. Tony wasn’t supposed to wait for you more than he wanted to wait for anything in his life.

It should have never reached a point where Tony couldn’t live in his paradise and call the empire he built up for himself home without having you in it too.

You think you’re simply in the wrong place at the wrong time but you’re exactly where Tony could ever want you to be right now. All Tony wishes he can do is change the circumstances.

“It wasn’t exactly home to us, but it was home to your grandfather. He loved Havana. For him it was a bit of paradise, so he decided to invest in it.”

Coming to a stop in your tracks, you pull out the crumpled note from your purse that your father gave to you shortly before you planned your trip to Havana for one reason alone—to visit the address scribbled upon it.

“It’s a villa, mostly used as a vacation residence but it's at the heart of the neighborhood. Your grandfather spoke very fondly of it up until his death, but I’ve never even seen so much as a photograph or deed of the estate before.”

You can practically imagine your father’s shock and disappointment if he was here with you right now. Standing at the very address the villa is supposed to be located is nothing but ruins and vandalism—a neighborhood intentionally left to rot.

“Is it home to you? To us?”

After all, you have no other reason to visit Havana other than to make sense of your family’s legacy and put the pieces together and despite having low hopes for what you’d find, you never expected to come face to face with nothingness—with destruction.

“It can’t be, can it? We have no connections to Havana. We don’t know anyone. It can’t be home to us of all people now.”

Nothingness has never been worth saving and you never felt it becoming your truth with every step you took down this lifeless neighborhood just to get here.

Greeted by chunks of glass sticking through dried mud, torn cloth, remnants of smashed belongings, broken nails, and garbage by your feet, there’s nothing that can possibly feel like home here to you now.

‘The least I can do is let father know.’ You frown at the address upon the note, only imagining the plot of land here can be sold eventually if this place ever gets cleaned up, but still unable to push past and ignore the swelling disappointment in your heart knowing you’ll forever be barred from appreciating what your grandfather loved so much in the past.

Only the calming evening breeze brushing up against you and taking away torn newspapers on the street can be heard with the distant sound of a dog barking from down the block now.

You’re neither familiar nor used to Havana; not the feeling of home that may have been here, not the environment, not the people, and not what seems to be the sounds of an empty street upon an abandoned neighborhood that deceives you so.

Eyes linger over you from the rubble of a half-burned-down home, well concealed and knowing where to remain to watch your every movement from the shadows promised by the evening hours set in.

There’s nothing you can do to appear inconspicuous—like you’re a nobody. Trained eyes from an experienced thief knows a tourist when he sees one, especially a wealthy American tourist.

Having someone like you end up in the wrong place at the wrong time only lets those with ill intentions benefit with ease, and this town’s thief isn’t hesitating to make you his next victim.

Sighing quietly to yourself, you squeeze your eyes shut for a moment as you slip the note back into your pocket.

Upon opening your eyes again, you stare back down at the rubble of drywall and shrapnel from damaged and destructed homes in front of you—mixed and clumped up amidst one another.

‘This could be from anybody’s home. This could mean nothing.’ Barely having an idea of what to do or look at you, you lean down and pick up a chunk of drywall that appears to be deliberately smashed out of a home.

‘But this could have been my home.’ Still, your heart ultimately feels indifference rather than any kind of relief or sadness.

Without having any connections or memories bound to this place, you simply can’t mourn what isn’t there.

You can’t help but wonder what happened to such a grand estate so highly spoken of after all of this time, but it’ll make more sense to your father than anyone else.

‘This is all that’s left of here now.’ You run your hand over the cracked drywall, giving your head a shake. ‘It’s too late to tell what happened here, but everything’s gone. Everyone’s gone.’

“Tony, c’mon man,” Manny gives Tony’s shoulder a nudge, “let’s head back. Ain’t nothin’ left here.”

“I know there’s nothing, man,” Tony grumbles, gesturing towards the streets. “That’s why we here, you know that. Look at this. I wanna see this place, just one last time.”

“Making memories?” Manny chuckles, shoving his hands into the pockets of his slacks.

“Fuck kinda memories anyone can make here,” Tony scoffs, “they say where we going is paradise. Miami. Mama moved us to Havana, says this is paradise. No fuckin’ paradise look like this, man.”

“No, man,” Manny agrees, shaking his head. “This a dead man’s street now.”

Manny’s eyes fall upon the tightly boarded-up front doors, barring everything in and refusing to let anything out on each and every crumbling home down the block.

“No paradise left here for us, and you know I ain’t ever gonna come back. No way, man.” Tony lets out a huff of frustration.

“Oh yeah?” Manny grins back, “not for visit either?”

“Visit what, man?” Tony furrows his brows, “when I make it, I don’t wanna come back and see this again but I always remember where I come from, you know,” Tony points at his chest, “I never forget. I can think about it. I don’t gotta come back and see it.”

“Me too man, me too,” Manny shrugs—the smile beginning to fade off his face. “I don’t wanna feel like no fish out of water.”

Meanwhile, as you’re surrounded by a mountain of rubble and shrapnel in a blocked-off street, the only option for you to get back to your hotel would be to turn around and make your way down the same street Tony and Manny are on.

With no other exits or places to turn to, you’re hardly aware of the lurking thief well hidden from your sight but directly in Tony’s perspective just from where he stands alone.

Before you can even spin around or move out of the way as a reflex for hearing footsteps suddenly grow so loud behind you, you hear the voice of your stalker before you feel or see him.

“Put it down, princess.” A smoker speaking through a husky low tone threatens you.

You feel the thief’s chest pressing into your shoulder blade, prompting you to remain as still as possible.

Had you flinched just now, the very tip of the thief’s blade he teasingly presses against your face may have just sliced your cheek clean.

You swallow hard, immediately feeling your heart thundering in your chest from being caught unaware in complete shock—anxious and terrified as your mind attempts to process what’s happening to you.

“Don’t move now,” the thief chuckles quietly over your shoulder.

The tips of your ears and the nape of your neck prickle hot in response, attempting to think through just how you’d be able to bash this man’s face in with the chunk of rubble in your hand without getting stabbed directly in the face.

“This isn’t a tourism center, sweetheart. What you doin’ in the rough neighborhoods?” The thief begins to slowly move his hand towards your cross-body purse by your hip.

“You’ll see. For now, we say goodbye to these streets—” Tony points out, all the more confident of his future solely outside of Havana.

“What, man?” Manny blinks, noticing Tony immediately coming to a halt down the middle of the street.

Stopping dead in his tracks, Tony’s muscles stiffen as a threatening scowl sours over his expression—looking towards you just a short distance down and around the corner.

Petty criminals loitering down in old neighbors are all the same to Tony and many others, but Tony and Manny both recognize the face of this one slowly inching his way toward you.

“You know her, man?” Manny asks quietly, whispering.

Both Manny and Tony remain completely still but poised to jump in and sprint down at any moment.

“No,” The glare over Tony’s expression has turned into a death stare as he analyzes the slow, creeping movements of the thief using the noise of the city streets around him to his advantage. “See this fuckin’ guy again back down here—fuckin’ asshole want another tourist as a victim.”

“Don’t wanna say anything?” Observant just as much as he’s sly, the thief begins to press the tip of the blade further into your cheek as he notices you gripping the rubble chunk tighter in your hand. “C’mon, talk to me.”

Your stare towards the mountain of rubble before you is vacant and unfocused, simply waiting for the right moment to strike and lunge out of the way when the thief least expects it.

“I can make this quick,” the thief places his grim-covered hand over your leather purse. “Tourists ain’t short of any money and you won’t find nothin’ down here. Empty your pockets. Maybe I won’t hurt you too much—”

“HEY! Fuck you, man!” Tony calls out from behind, sprinting down the street with Manny as he grips his pistol tucked behind him in the waistband of his slacks.

With the thief recognizing Tony’s voice and being momentarily stunned by the sight of two men rushing directly towards him, every precious second in-between has bought you all the more time to defend yourself.

Without hesitation, you swing your arm back and smash the chunk of rubble in your hand over the thief’s forehead twice with as much force as you can muster.

Before Tony and Manny can approach the two of you, the thief cries out in pain before slumping to the floor disoriented and beginning to heavily bleed from his forehead.

You back off from the man as much as you can, just a moment before Tony and you both make split-second eye contact then see the thief trying to reach for his knife over the pavement.

“Don’t fuckin’ think so!” Tony aims his gun at the thief’s legs, firing two shots into both kneecaps with impeccable accuracy. “Lady put you down for a fuckin’ reason!”

Your eyes bulge in horror as you watch the thief howl in pain—blood spurting from his shattered kneecaps and instantly immobilizing him and all of his movements.

Still clutching onto the chunk of rock in your hand, you stare back at the two strangers in front of you with caution but it’s more than clear to you that they aim to help you rather than rob or hurt you too.

“Damn,” Manny huffs, scowling down at the thief. “You again, huh? Fuck is your name? George something? Fuck you doing down here again?”

“NO! NO, STOP!” The thief shrieks the moment Tony takes another step toward him.

“You fuckin’ piece of shit,” Tony kicks up gravel towards him, cocking his pistol back and aiming it directly at the thief’s head this time. “Got tired of digging through old rocks, now you chasing women, huh? What I tell you, huh?! This is my neighborhood, so if you fuck with it, you fuck with me!”

“I-I don’t—I was going—”

“Shut the fuck up!” Tony shouts over him, wrapping his finger around the trigger.

“Dead end, man,” Manny shakes his head at the thief; his eyes trailing upward to meet yours for the first time.

“I teach you what happens when you fuck with my neighborhood,” Tony grits his teeth, pulling the trigger.

‘Holy fuck!’ You flinch from the impact of blood and brain matter splattering around the three of you, painting over the layers of dust upon the rubble mountain just behind you.

Tony’s expression and disposition almost immediately cool as he glances down at his gun with a hint of amusement in his eyes—tucking it behind him once again before turning to face you with Manny as if nothing just happened.

You breathe heavily, attempting to make sense of everything that occurred in front of you within just a few seconds—now standing just a few feet away from a corpse and two armed men curious to see you more than anything else.

Both men before you are complete strangers but from appearances alone, you’re already mistaking them for brothers.

Your eyes fall upon Tony and Tony only, taking into account his sweaty and frustrated demeanor and fierce attitude—drenched in grease and grime from the Havana heat and filth of the city.

The fading scar slashed over Tony’s left eye immediately attracts your attention but your newfound attraction to this man begins to grow all the more apparent to you now with each passing moment.

“Nice weapon,” Manny chuckles, gesturing to the chunk of rubble in your hand. “But no match for Tony’s gun.”

You clear your throat quietly, dropping the piece of rubble as your eyes dart over to Manny’s.

Manny’s hair is a disheveled mix of gel and sweat combed back and he carries a mischievous grin over his lips.

Taller than Tony but sharing the same lean, slim build, you notice a genuinely friendly and playful look in Manny’s expression and hear genuine care in his voice whereas with barely any conversation in or knowing who these two men are, its already become clear to you that Tony may as well be the “tough guy” between the two, but with no need to pretend.

“Hey,” Tony gives Manny a nudge, rolling his eyes. “Gotta give her credit. How was that, huh?” Tony smirks at you, impressed. “That was a good move. You know how to protect yourself.”

“I have to,” you reply back, still standing your ground and unaware of it.

“Good, I like that,” Tony grins back. “Lot of guys like that in other neighborhoods, but not lot of guys like me. We gotta look out for another, you know? I here, Manny here—” Tony gestures to Manny, revealing his name to you. “This is our place. We gotta do the lookout. You okay?” Tony begins to approach you.

“Yeah,” you remain still, steadying your breathing. “Just… Startled, that’s all.”

Tony’s eyes dart up and down your body from head to toe, looking for injury but also taking in the sight of what he likes at the same time. “Okay, good. Little cockroach didn’t hurt our new friend either.”

“You a tourist?” Manny asks.

“Barely,” you answer back, dusting off your hands. “I came here to see if the estate my father inherited existed.”

“Ah, yeah,” Tony purses his lips, “lot of tourists come down from time to time for that but see—” Tony gestures towards the pile of rubble to your side. “Nothing left. They always leave empty-handed. All gone.”

“This a junkyard now, man,” Manny agrees, nodding. “Nothing here no more.”

“Fuck’s sake,” you sigh to yourself in relief, touching your cheek where the petty criminal was about to dig his blade into. “There’s nothing, there’s just nothing. All of this for nothing.”

“Heh, no danger, no reward, huh?” Tony chuckles to himself, “but no problem for you. You an American. One made of money.”

“And what’s it to you?” You raise a brow, beginning to grow somewhat offended by the way Tony’s so openly and casually speaking to you.

“Nothing,” Tony holds back a laugh as Manny looks down at the ground with a wide smile on his lips. “Just saying, we won’t be so different later. We not gonna be down here no more, like you. No, Castro fucked this place good. We calling America home, starting tomorrow.”

“Miami, right?” It’s not the first you’ve heard of it, and certainly not the first from Havana.

“Oh, you know?” Manny blinks, looking up at you.

“You two would neither be the first nor the last, I’m assuming,” you reply back. “Yeah, I know something about it. I live in Miami myself. There’s a camp down in Florida already.”

“So you know where we going?” Tony seems all the more amused. “American tourist one step ahead of us. What you know about the place?”

“I know that you can be in that camp for longer than you ever thought you could be anywhere,” you tell him, “for months on end, waiting to get approved and get into the process for a green card. That’s what you’re after, isn’t it? You can barely do a thing without it there anyway.”

“Well, yeah,” Manny shrugs his shoulders, “we gonna live in the country.”

“You know a lot, not just little,” Tony’s gaze over you turns curious, “maybe you help us, huh? Like you Americans say, I scratch your back, you scratch mine.”

“I can’t say,” you stare back at Tony and Manny. “At least not here, and not now. The least you two could tell me are your names.”

“Tony,” Tony points to his chest with a devilish grin. “Antonio Montana.”

“Manny Ribera,” Manny says with a beaming smile.

“And you?” Tony’s eyes momentarily dart up from your chest to your eyes. “What you call yourself?”

“Celeste Navarro,” you introduce yourself—noticing Tony’s curious, wandering eyes already.

“Celeste Navarro…” Tony repeats to himself, “my first American friend and she wanna help me. All Americans like you must be so nice.”

“Only if you know who to talk to,” you crack a smile, nodding. “But you think I owe you two a favor now.”

“A favor? No, sweetheart,” a smirk forms over Tony’s lips, “not me, not Manny. Nothing.” Tony nudges the corpse of the thief aside with his foot, rolling the body over. “And you know, no worry about that. Bodies here disappear overnight. You know how it is. It dangerous here, so we can’t say it a favor. Just what you have to do. That’s why I carry one on me,” Tony pats his gun tucked in the back waistband of his slacks. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Tony,” Manny mutters, nudging his back. “Don’t say it like that, man.”

“I never said I was ungrateful,” you’re unphased by the comment. “I’m certainly not.”

“I know,” Tony rakes a hand through his choppy hair. “I never say goodbye either. I say you’re gonna remember these faces—my face. We not so far from each other, right? Not gonna be.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” you roll your eyes, up to your limit from enough tough guy talk. “But good luck anyway,” clutching your purse, you turn around to face the street and begin heading off.

“Don’t take no scenic route!” Tony shouts back after you.

Ignoring him, you roll your eyes and pick up your pace—only focused on getting the hell out of here and putting this day to rest knowing you could have gotten yourself killed over a pile of rocks and nothing more.

“Wow, man,” Manny cringes, putting his hands behind his back. “That could be better.”

“That was the best, man,” Tony boasts proudly. “You don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what, man?” Manny scoffs, chuckling.

“I thank her, she thank me,” Tony points out, “that’s all. Now if I American like her and I live in Miami—nuh uh, no way, man. No way,” Tony shakes his head, “I no coming down to see pile of rocks here even if someone tell me there’s a big house. No.”

“I don’t know, man,” Manny lets out a deep sigh of relief, “these Americans live different, you know?”

“She gonna see me again,” Tony decides, nodding.

“Tony, seriously—” Manny can no longer hold back his laughter, “it a small world here, huh?”

“Celeste, Celeste…” Tony murmurs, repeating your name. “I say this ‘cause you know how it’s gonna go.” Tony bends down, picking up a blood-stained chunk of rubble. “The police or whatever guys they got in the camps over there not gonna keep us safe. They just gonna ask the questions…”

Tony turns around, staring at the bloody, lifeless corpse of the thief before his feet. “Give you the green card, yes or no, but they gonna ask—” Tony’s eyes meet with Manny’s. “They gonna ask if you know an American, I gonna say yes. I say yes, I know Celeste Navarro. So she gonna see me again, Chico, not because she owe me for killing this cockroach. She gonna see me again because I wanna see her.”

#scarface #scarface 1983 #al pacino #tony montana #tony montana x reader #tony montana x reader smut #tony montana x oc #tony montana smut #scarface x reader #scarface x reader smut #blood money fic #blood money fanfic

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sortagaysortahigh · 2 years

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Still Into You | Eddie Munson

A/N: Hi besties, here she is, my first Eddie Munson enemies to lovers(ish) fic, this is definitely way longer than expected and honestly it’s been a hot minute since I’ve sat down and finished a fic so thank you to the Stranger Things Gods for bringing me out of my writing hiatus. This fic also has a Black coded reader because she’s a Sinclair, however it can be ready by anyone regardless of race or ethnicity <3 ALSO THIS IS SPOILER FREE!

Summary: As enemies or as lovers, they were fine with either, after all fourth grade left a lasting impact on them both.

Warnings: Cussing, spelling and grammatical errors (sorry baes I don’t believe in editing), slight angst, mention of drugs + drug dealing, mentions of on going insecurity, slight mentions of violence, mentions of p*rn*gr*phy (i.e, the adult video section at movie rental places), and the reader being a bitch (as she should)

Word Count: 12.5k (she’s a long one, at least for me)

Eddie Munson x Sinclair!Fem!Reader

Every Thursday Y/n Sinclair had a routine, it was a simple routine, she would wake up at seven in the morning and be ready by eight-by ready that typically meant her hair would be done but she would throw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, sometimes pants depending on the weather outside. After that she drove her younger siblings to school, dropping Erica off first, then Lucas.

Some days Lucas stayed over at one of his friends' houses-so she’d just drop Erica off. Then she’d make her way back home, stopping by the local donut shop to pick up her favorite chocolate glazed donut with sprinkles-the sprinkles were a necessity.

After that she made her way to the local library, spending the day studying and completing any assignments or research she’d been procrastinating on. She’d always been a great student-however when things came down to it she couldn’t afford to go to college out of state alongside the fact that she didn’t want to go to college both played a key role in her decision to pursue an Associates of Arts degree at the local community college a town over.

Once she finished at the library 1pm was rolling around-meaning she would make her way across town to the Hawkins Middle School parking lot, where she’d read for around half an hour before Erica and her posse of obnoxious attitude ridden eighth graders would follow her-sometimes begging for a ride home from the eldest Sinclair while trying to win her over with flattery-to which she’d roll her eyes and tell the younger girls to get it.

By the time she finished dropping off Erica’s friends they’d looped back around to Hawkins to pick up Lucas. However her routine changed today when Lucas hadn’t come out on time-rather an hour passed before Y/n left the car with Erica in tow and walked throughout the school while peaking into the different club meetings trying to find him.

Of course most older sisters would simply assume he’d joined a club, and would’ve turned around and driven home-however after the past two years they had-she had to make sure he hadn’t decided to go on another supernatural ‘chasing monsters’ adventure with Dustin and Mike.

When she realized where he was-she regretted even stepping foot into the school-trying to usher Erica away from the slightly ajar classroom door full of teenage boys playing Dungeons and Dragons in a somewhat dark room lit by faux candles. Of course she wasn’t mad at Lucas, Mike, or Dustin, actually she was happy they found a place at the highschool after their first month of complaining about being losers in combination with Y/n having to go to the school and tell off a few of the junior and senior girls that decided they had the right to bully her younger brothers.

”Girl get off of me, you’re not my mother, stop trying to push me down the hallway! When did you get so strong anyways, what are you a damn linebacker?”

One thing about Erica Sinclair was that she could never keep her mouth shut-granted she’d picked the habit up from her eldest sister-and in times like this it really showed.

“You’re gonna embarrass us if you don’t stop trying to act like hot shit, you have literal bright pink bows in your hair, shut it up and start walking before I drag you by those uneven pigtails-you need to let mom do your hair instead of trying to do it yourself.” her younger sister gasped, eyes wide, jaw dropped, as she processed her sister’s words-however before Erica could formulate a response the door they were a foot away from swung open.

“Can you two take your little argument somewhere else-we’re in the middle of a campaign here-wait a second-Sinclair?” before she could respond to him-the sound of Lucas’s voice was heard “Yeah Eddie?” the tall brunette quickly looked behind him into the room “not you-your sister” with that he turned back to face Y/n who was now clenching her jaw in annoyance while pushing Erica away by placing a hand on her sister’s face and shoving her slightly.

“Now to what do I owe the honor? The retired Queen of Hawkins High herself-Y/n Sinclair in my presence” she scoffed, now crossing her arms across her chest while watching Eddie’s theatrics, he now placed one arm behind his back-the other in front of his chest while bowing before her, the smirk on his face evident as he stood back up-stepping closer then leaning against the door frame.

It was no secret that Y/n was deemed as the Queen of Hawkins High throughout the later years she attended the school, however it wasn’t something that she formed her personality around, nor was it something that she openly embraced. Truth be told the entire reason she was so ‘popular’ was simply because she was an athlete. The girl was a varsity cheerleader for four years, and she’d won homecoming princess her junior year when the cheerleaders practically forced her to run, which followed with homecoming queen her senior year and she ran for Prom Queen after Nancy and Steve were committed to making sure Carol wouldn’t win.

People liked Y/n, she was real, and she wasn’t a bully like most of the self proclaimed ‘royalty’ of Hawkins high. She was the only person that would put a stop to the endless bullying and teasing that everyone witnessed at the hands of Tommy, Carol, and their mindless minions-hell the girl was known for punching Tommy in the face their junior year after he tried to corner Nancy Wheeler.

However, Y/n didn’t like people-she wasn’t a people person by choice, she did what she had to, to make her high school experience more enjoyable. She wasn’t going to let anyone walk all over her-hence her efforts to ensure the same thing would not happen to her younger brother-and the other two that she basically co-parented with Steve Harrington.

People always called Y/n their friend although she did not reciprocate the same energy or friendship. She viewed friendship as something important and close to her heart-hence the reason her personal social circle was so small. Yeah the girl used to smile and wave at anyone who glanced her way, even continuing conversations that were randomly sparked on a whim to see if the ‘queen B was as nice as they say she is’, of course there were also the people who saw through the nice facade she’d built up.

People like Eddie Munson. She couldn’t stand him, he was always two steps ahead of her, cutting her off mid sentence, or making small slick comment such as ‘you don’t really like them as much as you say you do huh’ or ‘y’know I like you better when you’re being a stone cold bitch y/n’ and of course her favorite ‘Here yee, here yee, the Queen has arrived’.

The two of them had grown up in Hawkins, paths always crossing one way or another. They’d been neighbors for a short period of time before his Mom skipped town, then of course the fact that his Uncle and Y/n’s father fought in the Vietnam war together meant that every now and then her father would ask ‘how’s that Munson boy-Wayne gave me a real show at Poker night last week’ or something along the lines of that, but as the years went by her father asked less and less about Eddie.

That didn’t mean the boy wasn’t around her, being a pesky nuisance. He painted himself as a social reject, and when Tommy decided to label him as Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson he went along with it, and sure Y/n did jump in to defend Eddie when his name was brought up in conversation with the group but that didn’t mean she liked him, it was simply because she defended everyone who’s name was thrown around by the town douchebags.

“Oh fuck off Munson. I just needed to know where my brother was, and now that I do-what time do you nerds wrap this up? Figure I’ll take my two other children home too” He furrowed his brows for a second before nodding his head.

All the while Erica just looked between the two, her brows knit together while she tried to piece how her sister knew Eddie-and why he looked like he was in love with her older bitchier sister. Then again, Y/n looked like she wanted to bite his head off like the praying mantises Erica learned about in her science class last year.

“Oh come on, you shouldn’t talk to your ex boyfriend like that princess! We were practically in love y’know” Y/n scoffed, nostrils flaring as she furrowed her brows and frowned slightly, the evident look of disgust on her features only making Eddie smile more as he ignored the continuous protests from his fellow club members all complaining about continuing the campaign instead of watching Eddie flirt with Lucas’s sister.

“Munson, we “dated” for two weeks in the fourth grade. Once again, fuck off” He placed a hand over his heart, leaning forward slightly, letting out a dramatic sigh before standing back up, raising his left brow-the look almost challenging her.

“Y’know Sinclair-you can admit that you like having me around-probably even miss me sometimes” His confident tone set Y/n off, her fists clenched at her sides now as she let out a deep breath, closing her eyes for a few moments before opening them again-the few seconds that her eyes were closed Eddie wasted no time in taking in her entire appearance-the baggy ‘Hawkins Cheerleading’ t-shirt in combination with her daisy dukes that were just short enough but not too short had his lips slightly parted.

“Aw how sweet, you think I actually want you breathing my air? I’d rather get jumped by four large Russian men in an underground tunnel while being drugged” The memory had Erica’s brows knit together once again, glancing up at her older sister with a look of shock on her face. Of course Erica knew that anyone who hadn’t been there wouldn’t understand it-but she still remembered seeing her older sister getting dragged down that cold metal hallway as she crawled through the air vents above.

Eddie looked visibly confused, nodding his head a few times while puckering his lips. Something about Y/n had always made his heart race, after all she was his first crush ever-and his first girlfriend-not to mention his first kiss. Although it was chaste and didn’t last very long-he still remembered it and he knew she did as well.

“That’s oddly specific princess-but if you want to play hard to get then so be it-I love a good challenge” she scoffed, her jaw dropping slightly before she rolled her eyes and shoved past him, their shoulders bumping as she walked into the classroom, all of the Hellfire club members now looking at her while she let out a deep sigh, her eyes searching for Lucas-and when they made eye contact her younger brother looked mortified.

“Okay dorks, since your almighty lord and savior Edward won’t tell me when your campaign ends-when does it end” it seemed as if all of the guys in the room were afraid of her as she stood there, blinking a few times, brows raised, moving her hands together in a ‘wrap it up’ circular motion as she waited for someone to answer her.

“Y/n-haha about the time thing-it ends at 8” she looked taken aback for a moment as Dustin answered her, and that only made his eyes widen when he processed that today was Thursday. On Thursday nights at eight she went to the local diner to get a milkshake with Robin. She’d been doing it for months at this point-and everyone knew it was a part of her Thursday routine-something she valued.

“Oh shit it’s Thursday” Mike spoke next, glancing between Lucas and Dustin, the three of them now staring at each other looking frantic. Part of her was irritated by the abrupt interruption to her entire Thursday routine, but the other part was happy they were happy-granted she would prefer their happiness without Munson.

“Sorry uh-Y/n-not to ask a stupid question but uh is that everything you need? We’re kind of at a really important moment-not to like upset you or anything” she sighed, glancing at Gareth, taking a moment to roll her shoulders back while he spoke-trying to appear more relaxed and less irritated. She knew she was technically barging in on their club meeting and of course no one appreciates an abrupt pause-sure she wanted to wring Eddie’s neck for even assuming that he had a chance with her to have anything other than a ‘Hi Princess’ ‘Fuck off Munson’ relationship with her, but that was no excuse to be a bitch to any of the guys.

“Gareth-it’s cool, I’ll go, sorry for the barging in and shouting in the hallway-she’s just an overactive ass-” Erica scoffed from the doorway “and you’re a loud mouthed jester” Y/n took a moment to glance over her shoulder, ignoring the way Eddie’s eyes immediately snapped up from her ass to her face. “-shut it before I drop you off in the middle of the woods at night”

“Anyways, me and the mouse over there are leaving. Lukiepooh, Mikeybear, and Dustybun I’ll see you at eight-promptly or you’re next on my shit list. I gotta go reschedule my date with Rob now-bye nerds'' She spoke in a playful tone, all of the guys exchanged looks outside of Eddie, the way she said ‘nerds’ or ‘dork’ was never malicious, rather she smiled at them before turning around, flashing Eddie another dirty look on the way out.

She hadn’t expected him to follow behind her, but Erica cleared her throat, causing Y/n to turn back slightly, pausing her steps.

He stopped walking too, a few feet away from the Sinclair sisters, brows furrowed while he wrapped one arm around his waist, the other moving so that his hand could grab his hair, slightly pushing it towards his face-the motion made him look somewhat shy or even nervous and that confused Y/n.

“So you uh-have a date?” she shrugged “Is that a concern to you Munson?” something about him always bothered her, even now when he looked-well he looked like that. She could never describe it-even when she still attended Hawkins-anytime they crossed paths, made eye contact across a classroom or the cafeteria, or even when she’d stop Tommy from bothering him and his friends-there was always something else there-something that was undeniable yet unexplainable and that only bothered her more.

“I feel like it should be, after all I am after your heart” she scoffed, rolling her eyes then turned around, grabbing Erica’s arm and pulling her to walk while responding “whatever Munson”.

The car ride was mostly silent until Erica realized the two of them were at Family Video-not their neighborhood. Then she finally sat up in the Jaguar’s leather front seat, shifting her body to face her older sister.

“What the hell was that!” y/n glanced at Erica, letting out a small sigh as she shifted her thick voluminous blown out curls away from her face. “It was nothing okay.” the youngest Sinclair shook her head “You’re such a liar! He’s so into you!”

“Yeah sure he is Erica, he’s just an ass that likes to annoy me.” Erica shook her head, pursing her lips while raising a brow at her sister “Ain’t no way! The way he was staring at you! You’re lying! It doesn’t take some super genius to see that”

Y/n groaned, rolling her eyes and opening the car door, forcing Erica to follow suit as they walked into the video store.

Little did she know, across town in the same classroom she’d recently left, Mike, Dustin, and Lucas were all trying to piece things together as well-mostly because when Eddie walked back into the room, he was smiling from ear to ear and there was a slight red flush to his face.

After thirty minutes of whispering between roles, Lucas finally cleared his throat and declared a time out. “Eddie, are you and my sister a thing?” he stared at the older boy “c’mon-what was that? I’ve never seen her like that-like ever and she’s my sister! I’ve known her my entire life!” Lucas sat there, waiting for a response, the other guys at the table nodding their heads before joining the conversation.

Gareth spoke first “Honestly-no offense Lucas-but I expected her to be a bitch. Everyone kind of assumed that she was nice as an act-and I didn’t even know that she knew my name. But that’s probably the meanest I’ve ever seen her be-and she apologized to us?” Jeff nodded alongside one of the other club members.

“That’s true-Y/n’s always been intimidating-when she was here she basically ran the entire school-she decked Tommy H. in the face my freshman year-that shit was terrifying” It was clear that Jeff was thinking of the memory, seeing Y/n pull Tommy back by the right shoulder of his leather varsity jacket and the few seconds that followed were something out of a movie, the sound of Nancy’s ‘Y/n! It’s fine! Stop!’ followed by the sound of Y/n’s fist making contact with Tommy’s jaw almost echoed throughout the hallway.

Everyone who was there would never forget that moment, especially the way Tommy stumbled back a few steps, blinking while holding his face, slightly hunched over, his lip bleeding and a look of pure shock on his face. The moment followed by Y/n kneeing him in the abdomen to seal the deal before checking on Nancy, her entire demeanor shifted as she made sure her friend was alright.

“That was probably the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen-I wanted to drop down on one knee and propose to her” Eddie spoke, gaining everyone else’s attention as he stared off in the distance, his elbows leaning into the table as his chin rested in the palms of his hands.

“So you’re telling me this entire time…you and Y/n have known each other?” he nodded his head at Mike’s question. “Yeah, Hawkins isn’t a huge town boys, course I knew Sinclair’s hot mean sister” Before Lucas could respond Mike did, the look of horror on his face “Hey! That’s basically my sister!”

“Can you please answer the important question here?!” Lucas’s mortified expression didn’t go unnoticed by his fellow club members-sure Eddie and Y/n together would be kind of cool-Lucas looked up to Eddie in a way. He knew Eddie had his flaws, no one who repeated their senior year more than once was perfect-but Eddie had a good heart, and he was a metaphorical king among the ‘nerds’, he took kids under his wing and gave them a space to belong at Hawkins. He wasn’t mad, he was just confused.

“To answer your question, my dear Sundar the Bold, no the Queen and I are not dating, rather she can’t stand me and I’m after nothing but our fair ladies heart and somehow every time I get close-she slips through my fingers.”

That response was all Lucas needed, and based on the way Dustin looked at him, followed by Mike’s look-the three of them were already on board with one another.

That night on the drive home the boys all bombarded Y/n with questions about her relationship-or lack thereof-with their Dungeon Master. So much that she responded to all of them with “Shut the hell up! Yes I know Munson! We’re not friends! We’re not anything! Let the shit go!” then she commenced to ignoring all of them as she pulled into her driveway, all of them walking into the house with Chinese takeout in their hands.

The week that followed she did her best to dodge any questions brought to her, instead she focused more on her priorities and watched the few episodes of Designing Women that she would usually catch up on on Thursdays. She went to her classes, gave a presentation on the male gaze’s impact on historical portraiture that she’d been working on for weeks, and worked her usual shifts at Family Video with Steve and Robin.

She’d done a great job at avoiding the topic of Eddie Munson, especially because it was as if everywhere she turned, one of the boys or Erica was bringing him up, asking her questions about how they knew each other, what happened in Fourth grade, and how they went from being friends (according to Eddie) to Y/n completely avoiding him as a topic of conversation, and walking right past him during her time at Hawkins High.

That was until Eddie strolled into Family Video wearing his usual denim vest, leather jacket combo, alongside a pair of fitted black ripped jeans and his worn in docs. His hair was in it’s usual curly messy state and he sported a wide smile on his face the second he noticed Y/n behind the counter rewinding tapes while humming along to the Iron Maiden song playing in the background.

He knew she hadn’t noticed him-which gave him just enough time to trace his eyes along her figure, her voluminous hair framed her face perfectly, the look of concentration evident on her face-brows knit together in the same way that Lucas’s and Erica’s did, and she stuck her tongue out ever so slightly as her teeth lightly bit down on it, only seen when one really focused on her slightly parted lips.

He took in the slightly oversized Aerosmith shirt tucked into her black jeans alongside the dark green Family Video vest made him smile-she was so different than most of the girls she’d been grouped together with in school, and even now, he knew she was in school, and he knew that she wanted to pursue art-all things he’d overheard from Lucas’s conversations-things that he kept noted because Eddie Munson was head over heels.

She spun on her heel, grabbing the next bin of tapes that needed to be rewinded, lost in her own world until she dropped a tape, mumbling ‘shit’ while squatting down and picking it up, then when she finally stood up did she notice Eddie leaning against the counter, a dopey smile on his face while he looked at her.

Y/n let out a sigh, placing the tape on the counter next to the VCR and computer, before placing a hand on her hip.

“What do you want Munson” he raised a brow, the same smile on his face “Do you want my real answer, or do you want the Family Video related answer” she scoffed, rolling her eyes-already having an idea of what he was going to say based on her answer.

“You look beautiful today M’lady” she nodded her head, now shifting her weight to her left foot while crossing her arms over her chest “Flatter won’t get you far. If you don’t have any returns or rentals, you can go” he nodded his head a few times “what if I want a recommendation”

Before he could open his mouth to speak Y/n was quick to shout for Robin, yelling “Rob! C’mere” while glancing towards the Adult section of the store. Robin had lost their game of rock, paper, scissors which forced her to do the sorting and restocking of their very graphic Adult section-also known as their self proclaimed ‘section of doom’.

Eddie straightened up, fully expecting a man to walk through the beaded curtains, he would finally know who Rob was-and in his head who his competition was. Of course when it came to Y/n his competition was never ending, she had people throwing themselves at her for years-and yet he’d never actually seen her give anyone the time of day except for her ex from sophomore year.

However when the dirty blonde walked through the curtains, swatting at them in a spastic motion while adusting her short bob-cut hair he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Sure women were competition-but Eddie had seen Y/n with Robin before and he knew they were just friends-he just had no idea what her name was.

“Don’t look too happy, Munson. You want a recommendation, Rob can give you one. I have a job to do” with that she turned back around, doing her best to ignore the almost burning feeling of Eddie’s stare, her gaze focused on the vcr in front of her as she placed a copy of the animated version of Lord of The Rings into the machine, proceeding to rewind it.

Yet when she glanced over at him, he was quick to make eye contact with her while Robin talked about different horror flicks, going on and on about the different genres of horror and what the store had to offer. Y/n loved how much Robin talked, most people were bothered by the girl’s high energy-however she was the straw to Y/n’s berry. The two were like two peas in a pod the second they’d met in the girl’s bathroom Y/n’s junior year.

Robin had been crying about getting rejected, and Y/n was the only person who didn’t ignore the sounds of choked sobs and sniffles coming from the large stall. The two of them ended up sitting on the dingy bathroom floor for two hours together, talking and laughing, Y/n reassuring Robin that whoever rejected her was just an asshole who couldn’t see what was in front of them.

Eventually when she got a job at Scoops Ahoy with Robin, she’d introduced the girl to Steve after forcing Steve to put in a job application-knowing that the boy hadn’t done much since graduation and was living in a post-highschool rut.

Of course the whole Russians in Hawkins, Mindflare possessions, fighting in the upside down and regular world, plus everything else that had gone on at that god forsaken mall only brought the three closer together, which led them all to applying to the understaffed Family Video

“These are all amazing recommendations-really but I need to talk to her” he pointed at Y/n, who was back to rewinding tapes and doing her best to alphabetize the box of rewound tapes so it’d be easier for Steve to stock them back on the shelves. She was more focused on figuring out why a copy of Grease wouldn’t properly rewind than she was on Eddie and Robin-which is why the second Eddie lightly smacked the counter to her right she jumped, immediately meeting his stare.

“Jesus Munson, can you not take a hint?” he placed a hand on his chin for a moment, raising a brow and nodding his head, mimicking a thinking pose. “I don’t think so no-not when it comes to the girl of my dreams” she scoffed “yeah okay Munson.” She rolled her eyes, going back to looking at the tape in front of her, popping the front of the black plastic case off of it, groaning at the sight of the tangled tape.

Before she could try to fix it-something she was terrible at-Eddie reached across the counter-grabbing it from her hands and examining it before he started carefully unraveling the tape, then he started rolling it back around-it seemed so effortless to him-and for the first time in a long time-Y/n found herself staring at him without her usual bitchy expression.

Her eyes were focused on his hands, watching him fix the tape that would’ve taken her at least half an hour to figure out.

“You should try dropping the attitude every now and then-it’s a good look on you” she blinked a few times, her gaze now meeting his while he stared at her, a small smile on his lips when she didn’t roll her eyes at him.

“I don’t have an attitude.” He raised a single brow “mmm I don’t think so, it’s usually there, and you stand all tense with your shoulders raised and jaw clenched. You’ve kind of always stood like that too” she rolled her eyes “I do not stand like that Eddie” the name slipped past her lips before she thought about it, and for a second it felt like Eddie had finally slipped through a crack, that he was finally getting through her walls.

“Yes you do” he mimicked her, raising his shoulders slightly, clenching his jaw and furrowing his brows, then he tilted his head up slightly “This is literally how you walk around, you also cross your arms a lot and occasionally you slightly stand on your toes to seem taller than you are” she tilted her head slightly, somewhat taken aback by how much he actually paid attention to her.

The two were almost in their own world, both of them too distracted by one another to notice Robin whispering on the store phone a few feet away.

“Yes he’s here-they’re talking and like she seems super into it, she’s not even being mean-and y’know how she stands all stiff and stuff right now she looks totally relaxed” Robin whispered into the phone, glancing over at Eddie and Y/n, her hand cupping the bottom of the phone as she held it against her face, trying her best to keep whispering while she spoke to Dustin, Lucas, and Mike-well technically it was the Wheeler residence’s phone, however the other two were hovering over it as well.

“We’ve been trying to get her to open up to him! She keeps brushing us off!” Dustin’s voice was heard through the phone while Robin nodded her head, listening as Lucas spoke next “We didn’t think he would actually show up, he kept going on about how she’d kick him out or ignore him”

“Well I can see why, she’s been ignoring him for years at this point, I feel like we have to figure out why she hates him-because there’s no way she actually hates him-Oh my god-guys-she’s smiling and laughing-I repeat she’s smiling and laughing”

It took everything in Robin not to start smiling and squealing, she was easily recruited for ‘Operation Fourth Grade to Forever’, granted none of them knew what happened in fourth grade, or why the two went from being friends to Y/n wanting nothing to do with him, but that was the entire point of the operation. Besides they were all looking for something to do-they had more free time on their hands after the gate was closed-so what better way than to help young love blossom.

Y/n found herself laughing at Eddie’s jokes and his mimicking of her uptight posture, she rolled her eyes playfully while taking the fixed tape from his outstretched hand.

“Thank you, that would’ve taken me hours” he laughed, a small smile on his face “I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I’d let you suffer through that” she let out a small giggle at that, rolling her eyes at his flirty tone as she tried to stop the smile on her face-rather it was her smiling upside down-leading both Eddie and Robin to smile.

But their moment felt like it was stomped on when Steve rushed into the store, slipping on his vest, making the bell above the door ding back and forth a few times.

“Shit I’m late-sorry guys-got caught up with this girl-” he paused when he noticed Eddie across from Y/n, the both of them now glancing over at him, then his eyes moved to Robin who was still on the phone, but she quickly moved her hand away to make it seem like a casual phone call made to the store.

“Store’s pretty dead I guess.” his tone shift was evident, and he eyed Eddie, who simply put his hands up in a surrendering motion, then he glanced over at Y/n again “do you want to maybe, hang out, maybe go see Labyrinth sometime?-for uh old times sake” he rushed the last part, heat rushing through his neck, towards his ears, and the red flush slightly moving into his cheeks.

Before she could answer Steve did it for her “she can’t we’re already seeing that with Robin. Sorry Eddie, anything else you need? I can help you” Y/n blinked a few times, usually she’d be thankful that Steve stepped in to essentially cock block him, however, in the moment she felt something-something else. Some part of her was mad at Steve, especially when she noticed the way Eddie’s expression dropped.

“Oh uh, alright, well I’ll see you around Sinclair, cool meeting you Robin!” With that he tried to leave the store in a casual manner, internally he was a mixture of embarrassed, irritated, and oddly enough a sliver of happiness overtook him. That was the first time in years that she’d called him Eddie, not to mention seeing a genuine smile on her face-it was all the hope he needed.

When the door shut Y/n immediately grabbed a random movie from the Adult section returns bin and threw it at Steve. It hit him in the face while he struggled to dodge it, and Robin laughed before hanging up the phone.

“Are you serious? The hell was that for! You hate Munson!” she scoffed, rolling her eyes “I can answer questions myself Steve, I don’t need you to Mama bear me!” her attitude was back, and her shoulders were tense again, that in itself confused Steve-especially because the group made sure to keep Steve out of the operation, knowing that Steve considered Eddie a ‘bad influence’ and went on tangents about him to Dustin.

“You’re acting like you actually wanted to go see the movie with him! And really? Throwing ‘Katie Chow takes the big black kong’ at me was unnecessary!” he grimaced at the name of the tape, before tossing it on the counter and making his way behind it. However when he said that Y/n felt an unfamiliar feeling in her stomach, something she hadn’t experienced in a long time-and she had no idea what it was.

When she hadn’t answered for a few minutes Steve slowly turned to face her, he glanced at Robin who simply shrugged while grabbing another bin of returns and started placing them on the old vinyl countertops.

“Wait-you wanted to go didn’t you!” she scoffed, eyes focused on the rewind button in front of her “I never said that Steve” he nodded “but you also never said you didn’t want to go!” she craned her neck back slightly, rolling her eyes, then returned to her original posture, trying to look more relaxed-now hyper aware of how she stood when she was irritated.

“Holy shit! You did wanna go! You were gonna say yes!” Her scoffs started to sound the same, she did her best to look disgusted at the idea, but she knew she wasn’t fooling Steve or Robin in the moment. “Shut up! I never said that!” he nodded “oh but it’s what you didn’t say that mattered!” she shook her head “Leave me alone! He was just being nice okay! Shit”

Steve and Robin exchanged a knowing look.

“I don’t think he was the only one being nice” Y/n’s jaw dropped at Robin’s words, she turned to face her and shook her head “Who’s side are you on!” Robin shrugged “whichever side gets you to tell me what happened in fourth grade”

“It’s not important!” Robin shook her head “clearly it is because you’ve fake hated Eddie since then, like yea he’s kind of a weirdo-but he doesn’t seem like a bad guy-” before steve could interject Robin pointed a finger at him “and you shush it, you’re a shit judge of character” Y/n nodded her head, taking a second to agree with the blonde.

“Please, it’s not important Rob” Robin raised a brow before nodding, deciding to brush everything off, she also took the opportunity to sneak off into the backroom, using the phone to call the Wheeler household back, telling them to lay off ‘O.F.G.T.F’ for now.

However, that would only last until the following Friday.

Everytime Y/n and Eddie had crossed paths they kept their conversation to a minimum, she felt more comfortable just acting as if everything last Wednesday didn’t happen. Instead she went back to her usual facade, keeping everything short. Of course he tried to stop her in her tracks when she was picking up the boys from school, he easily spotted her Jaguar in the parking lot, so he jogged up to it, however she was quick to brush him off-and the entire time she avoided making eye contact with him.

Now it was Friday night, at 8:30, and the boys were all waiting for Y/n to get there, she was slightly late because Fridays were always busy nights. Eddie always stayed after their sessions ended to clean everything up, so when he walked out of the building to see the guys all waiting outside, sitting on the curb, he raised a brow.

“Usually your chauffeur is early, what happened today?” his voice caused the three freshmen to look back, Dustin shrugged while Lucas spoke up.

“Family Video’s busiest days are Fridays and Saturdays-she’s probably stumped at work, so we just gotta wait” Eddie nodded his head “I’ll take you there if you guys want, vans kind of a mess but hey-it’s probably better than sitting on the cold ass concrete all night while your sister cusses people out at her job” The three boys looked at one another before nodding and getting up off the floor, they’d been in his van before, hell he’d driven them home a few times, however they all knew that if they didn’t show up at her job, or if no one called her the second they got home-which she probably would’ve missed due to being at work or on the road-that she’d freak out.

During the first half of the ride they all spoke about their DND campaign, and even about future campaign ideas, or campaign expansions alongside introducing new characters into the mix. Then Dustin simply word vomited-something he always did.

“Okay I can’t keep it in, Y/n won’t tell us-so please tell us what happened in fourth grade. O.F.G.T.F cannot be successful until we find out why she hates you-or pretends to hate you because based on what Robin told us-she definitely doesn’t hate you. We know people she hates, and she usually does more than just cuss and act all stiff and mean. Usually she resorts to violence-which is probably not a good thing cause like-violence. But I don’t think I know anyone who can fight like she can”

Everyone was silent after Dustin’s rant, Eddie looking at them through the crooked rear view mirror, letting out a deep sigh.

“We dated for like two weeks in the fourth grade, Y’know Sinclair she was my first kiss-even back then she was probably the prettiest girl in our class-not probably-definitely. But uh yeah, it isn’t my place to tell you what happened” Mike scoffed at that.

“Are you shitting me? That’s all we get? We’re trying to get you two together and all you can tell us is she was your first kiss and she was pretty-we all know Y/n’s pretty, she’s always been smokin’ hot-no offense Lucas-but there’s clearly something else there!”

The three boys-and Robin-were all fed up trying to understand what happened in elementary school between the two of them. All of them knew that Y/n held a mean grudge, she always held grudges, to those who were close with Y/n-it was easy to tell when she didn’t like someone. There was a difference between the few grudges she held versus the people she outwardly hated-and as much as Y/n hated to admit it outloud-her fight or flight had a lot to do with it, and the fight usually took over.

“She has like this grudge against me okay-I tried to talk to her about it-I tried everything! I think I honestly only made it worse, I can’t tell you exactly where I fucked up, but I know a lot of it has to do with that” they all nodded, motioning for him to keep speaking, Dustin going as far as to clear his throat to get him to continue.

“I dunno, it was after our first kiss, it wasn’t like one of those gross first kisses you hear about either, it was really quick, like a peck I guess. Anyways-it happened in the old treehouse at you place Sinclair-I don’t even remember exactly what I said, but I knew it bothered her. Then I tried apologizing but I never did because she didn’t want to talk to me, so I kept on trying to apologize after that for like weeks and never could because she was ignoring me, or she’d tell her dad not to let me around the house. Then we got into this huge fight the first week of summer break, and admittedly I fucked up here-but I was also an immature kid-but I remember shoving her back and she cut up one of her legs on the concrete. I probably said other fucked up shit too, but I know that was back after my mom split-I was definitely the asshole”

He paused, parking the van in front of the Family Video in one of the few empty spots before he took a deep breath.

“She tried to be there for me a few weeks after that, showed up to my uncle's trailer and everything-she rode her bright pink princess bike there, and she brought a bag of gummy bears with her-I guess she figured I wasn’t the happiest after moving and wanted to be nice. I slammed the door in her face. After that she stopped talking to me overall, and as the years went by when I tried talking to her she just got bitchier and bitchier. Granted-it’s kinda hot-so when we were like fifteen I started doing shit to bother her-cause I knew I’d get a reaction. But that’s what happened in fourth grade-she can probably go more into detail”

Lucas furrowed his brows, he knew his older sister had a scar on the side of her left calf, over the years it’d gotten smaller as she’d gotten taller, however it was still there to this day, and anytime he asked about it growing up y/n would reply with “I fell, don’t worry it’s fine Lucas, besides scars make you look badass”

He knew she added in the last part to reassure him that all of the scars he had from falling and scraping his arms and legs up were fine and that he shouldn’t care about how they look. The more Lucas thought about it, the more he realized that sure his sister was definitely a bitch, but she was also the reason that Lucas had some self esteem-and she was the reason Erica had the self esteem of a God. Y/n worked hard to make sure her younger siblings were comfortable in their own skin-just as she did with everyone that was close to her.

By the time they all left the van and made their way into the video store, they could see Y/n arguing with an older man, he looked to be in his forties, and he was arguing with her over what seemed to be overdue copies of films that stopped him from being able to rent anything else.

“Listen, if you return the damn movies, I’ll rent you the new ones. You have four that have late fees on them because they were due two weeks ago, you don’t return the movies, you don’t get shit from here. It’s a simple fucking rule”

The older man scoffed at her, causing her to crane her neck back slightly, brows raised, and a smirk forming on her face.

“That’s never been the case before, I don’t need some teenage brat trying to tell me what I can and can’t do. I turned in the films, it’s not my fault your shitty staff can’t keep track of anything. Where the hell is your manager anyways-clearly you don’t need a job working in customer service when you can’t talk to people”.

She slammed her hand on the countertop in front of her, and it clearly startled the older man.

“Wow, if only the fucking manager was actually here to deal with your shit, so sorry sweetheart but he’s not here because he never is, and for the record you old asshole, I’m twenty, so if you’re gonna call me a brat at least get my age bracket correct. Now, you didn’t return shit because it’s not in our system that you returned anything, if you don’t like how we run our store-aka the only movie rental store in all of Hawkins, Indiana, then you can drive to the next town over and lose their rentals. Also since you’re here you can pay those late fees, that’ll be eight ninety five. You’re holding up my God damn line, so either pay up or get the hell out.”

He looked taken aback, tossing the movies he wanted onto the counter before scoffing and storming out, Y/n rolled her eyes at him-she was tired, and she ran out of patience two hours ago. Fridays were the worst days of the week, that’s when everyone decided to come in, and they always came in after 6.

Robin noticed the boys before Y/n did, so she let all of them behind the counter-including Eddie-who took the risk of standing next to Y/n as she continued checking peoples rentals out, while mumbling for them to have a great night.

“So why do you work the register on Fridays?” she almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of Eddie’s voice-she hadn’t even noticed him next to her. She sighed, glancing at him before scanning the barcode to the store’s last copy of Rambo for a group of teenage boys.

“Because I’m the only one that’s actually mean. Steve tries to talk people down when they’re angry and he only makes things worse because he’s overly confident and it annoys people even more, and Robin cracks under pressure and starts rambling-once someone made her cry. So we came to the conclusion that I’d be the only one working the register on busy nights. Also thank you for bringing them here-I haven’t had a break so I couldn’t call”

Y/n spoke without looking at him, instead focusing more on replacing the receipt paper in the cash register. However at the sound of the boys in front of her trying to rush her, she simply looked up and raised a brow “you either wait another two minutes, or you little shits can give me your IDs which clearly don’t say 18 considering you look like you haven’t hit puberty yet and I don’t let you rent the god damn movie. Now give me the damn money before I card both of you and call your mothers” the two boys stared at her with wide eyes, one extending a shaky hand holding cash.

“Thank you, now you have a wonderful night. Bring it back in a week or I’ll charge you all double on the late fees. Oh and don’t let me catch either of you going into the Adult section again. At least sharpie on a mustache or something first.” with that she slid them their receipt on top of the VHS tape and smiled while shewing them off.

“I dig the attitude, it’s hot” she rolled her eyes “y’know maybe the flirting wouldn’t be as bad if I wasn’t exhausted and pushed past my people limit for the day. I just wanna lay down and relax instead I have to deal with jackasses trying to rent shitty movies.”

With that the next person in line stepped up, holding six tapes and placing them on the counter, she hadn’t even looked up before speaking “limit is four per customer, you have fifteen seconds to pick the four you want or ill kick you out of my line. We close at nine thirty, odds are if you get kicked out of line you’re not getting any movies tonight.” with that the person quickly discarded the top two movies, sliding them to the other end of the counter and allowing y/n to ring her up.

“You need help?” she shook her head at Eddie’s question “no, what I need is a five day vacation to some fancy ass spa where they give you massages and shit, I could also use a very very hot bath in combination with a bag of gummy bears.” he laughed at that.

“They’re still your favorite huh?” she furrowed her brows, now finally looking up at Eddie. “What?” “Gummy bears-they’re still your favorite, you used to love them when we were kids, you almost always had a bag on you”

“You remember that?” he nodded his head, a small smile on her face as the two of them held eye contact, but the sound of another customer clearing their throat ruined the moment. Y/n rolled her eyes before looking at the customer, then eyeing the stacked movies, he didn’t look a day older than sixteen, so she grabbed the top movie-an easy to spot cover up-some random rom com-then she looked at the three films from the adult section.

“I’m gonna save you some embarrassment here and tell you to get the hell out of my line. You’re not a day older than sixteen, and if you try to lie to me and give me a shittily made fake ID from Ricardo Smith I will actually cut it up with scissors and make you pay me for my time” the kid was a blushing mess as he tossed the dvds into the large pile at the other end of the counter and speed walked out of the video store.

“Damn, that was ruthless, can’t let a kid live?” she shook her head at his comment “No Eddie I can’t cause when his mother sees him and his right hand going at it to Blondes Have More Fun Volume 69, then the stores gonna have to deal with her ass and by the store I mean me because once again Steve and Robin cannot handle confrontation.” She spoke as she checked another person out, she was at the point in the night that she was tired of reading off peoples totals, instead motioned to the register calculation and waited for their payment method.

Eddie took a small risk, he stood behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders-gently massaging into them and when Y/n let her head lean back for a second as she took a deep breath, he took that as a silent thank you. He expected her to smack his hands away, and yet she was practically melting under his touch. He slid his hands under the green vest-getting a better grip of her shoulders through the thin material of her t-shirt, and in the moment Y/n’s brain had gone into autopilot.

She’d done this job enough to do it perfectly by muscle memory, it just took her a few more seconds than usual to count the cash given to her.

Robin was working behind the counter to get all the returned VHS tapes into one pile and all of the grabbed but not rented tapes into a bin for Steve to stock on the shelves, she easily recruited the help of Mike and Lucas, while Dustin helped Steve. Robin called them her free labor-which was honestly necessary on days like these.

“Do you see those two? He’s giving her a freaking shoulder massage! And she’s letting him!” Robin spoke in harsh whispers to the boys next to her, the two of them glancing over to the front register, eyes widening, then they waved their hands in the air to get Dustin’s attention-who elbowed Steve and they all looked over at Eddie and Y/n. Everyone had a smile on their face outside of Steve who was shocked and had his usual confused expression, to which Dustin sighed and replied with “I’ll tell you later”.

“Your hairs not usually up y’know” she sighed “I get hot sometimes, especially when people are constantly getting on my last nerve” he nodded his head-knowing she couldn’t actually see him, but she slightly flinched and let out a small hiss when he moved one of his hands-accidentally placing the cold metal of his rings against the back of her neck. “Shit sorry”

“It’s okay-just kinda cold”

After they closed up the store Eddie hesitated to try asking her out again, he debated it, but he decided it wasn’t the right time. Instead he headed back home, a large smile on his face the entire drive home.

However that didn’t stop everyone else from questioning Y/n-who was working on cleaning off the countertops, a smile on her face as she did it, and for once she didn’t hate the feeling in her stomach, rather she welcomed it.

“What’s got you smiling like that-oh wait I think the question is who? Hmmm?” Robin smiled, lightly bumping her hip against Y/n’s while wiggling her brows, everyone now stood around the store, cleaning up and organizing, and it was quiet in the store as they’d turned off the sound system after the tapes kept getting stuck.

“Oh shut it Rob” the blonde nodded her head “it seems like someone has a little bit of a crush to me” y/n tried to hide her smile, she felt like a walking cliche-the ghost of Eddie’s touch still lingering against her skin-or maybe that was just her exhaustion setting in-but she couldn’t even deny Robin’s accusation-because part of her knew it was true.

“So does fourth grade still matter hmm?” The sentence reminded Y/n of the entire reason she stopped talking to Eddie, and now her smile dropped as she rolled her eyes. “Yes it still matters.”

The eldest Sinclair moved to a different counter, now aggressively spraying it down in cleaner, her jaw clenched while she wiped the vinyl in circular motions. They all left her alone for about ten minutes, then of course they all had to bring it up-that and the fact that Dustin was spilling everything to Steve-who scoffed at Dustin’s retelling of what Eddie had told him.

“Yeah he forgot two of the most important parts of the story.” Dustin raised a brow “and how would you know that?” Steve tilted his head, one of his classic ‘are you serious’ expressions on his face “I was there-I’ve been friends with Y/n since we were kids Dustin.”

Of course, Y/n overheard them, she was only a few feet away, and with little to no background noise it wasn’t difficult to hear one another talking at a normal volume.

“It was a bet. I was the butt of the joke. He’d admitted it to me after our shitastic first kiss, he said that he’d won the bet, and I was confused-but he already said it outloud on accident. So he went on a tangent about how he’d never actually liked me before his friends bet him like twenty bucks or some shit to ask me out-sure we were just kids but that shit hurt. Especially because I thought we were friends.” She paused for a second, letting out a deep breath to stop herself from tearing up.

“He started to word vomit-the way Robin does when she’s nervous-or the way Dustin does when he’s thinking. He told me all of his friends thought I was ugly, and that they wanted to see if he would actually go through with ‘dating me’-whatever the fuck that even equates to as a fourth grader. Then he admitted that kissing me got him another twenty bucks. Let’s also not forget the fact that I wanted to forgive him, hell I convinced myself to forgive him. I knew what happened with his Mom, she split and he moved to Forest Hills, so I rode my stupid little pink bike across fucking town to go see him and see if he was okay”

She looked up now, her eyes glossy as a singular tear slipped down her cheek, everyone saw it-no one said a single thing. “Y’know what he said. He said that the bet was over and he didn’t want to talk to my ugly ass anymore, then he went on to tell me to leave him the hell alone, called me a stalker, and felt the need to reiterate the fact that he thought I was ugly. So yeah, maybe I am childish for holding the grudge about fourth grade, but when your entire self esteem is tanked and it takes you until your sophomore year of highschool to actually love yourself because of some stupid boy in the fourth grade-you have the right to hold that grudge.”

She wiped the tears off of her face “and y’know what? He never even apologized to me, instead he got more fucking annoying and more obnoxious and he always-always did his very best to get under my skin. He’d cut me off, or he’d say these stupid slick comments, and he would just piss me off to no end. Sure I’ve started my fair share of arguments, and yeah I am a bitch to him, and I will continue to be a bitch to him. But he’s never even apologized, and now knowing that he doesn’t even fucking remember it? I’m supposed to want to jump into his stupid arms and just embrace him and his stupid curly hair and his stupid cologne and his stupid big brown fucking eyes.”

Everyone was silent and she nodded her head a few times, a sad smile on her face.

“That’s what happened in fourth grade. That’s the reason I hate Eddie Munson. Because he never even fucking apologized. We were friends y’know. We did our stupid third grade science fair volcano together-he was one of my best friends as a kid. Then he just wasn’t, because I wasn’t as pretty as the blonde haired blue eyed girls. Now please for the love of God let this stupid shit go. I don’t want anything to do with him.”

She went to the back storage room, taking off her vest, and grabbing her bag. She then left the room, still sniffling slightly.

“Lucas, are you coming home tonight or staying the night at Mikes?” he glanced over at his sister before looking back at Dustin and Mike. “I’m gonna uh-stay at Mikes if that’s cool with you” she nodded her head “yeah that’s fine. Rob, do you need a ride home? Steve take the boys home” She shook her head, and with that Y/n left the store, getting into her car and playing the mixtape that Robin had made her as she drove home.

Meanwhile everyone still remained at Family Video, deciding to give y/n space after that heavy confession-but now they knew two things. One Eddie needed to apologize to her, and two they needed to tell Eddie where he fucked up. Well they knew three things technically-Y/n definitely has a thing for Eddie-and maybe she always had-but it’s something that she will forever ignore and suppress because of how he made her feel.

So that’s what sparked Operation Apology Accepted-which also included Robin, Dustin, Mike, and Lucas showing up at Eddie’s trailer two days after to unpack everything that Y/n had shared with them, to the point that they’d all taken turns explaining parts of the story to him-and they all watched as Eddie’s eyes widened, all of the memories suddenly connecting and everything making sense.

The entire time he was trying to apologize she didn’t want to hear it-and he now realized that she was right to not want to hear anything-especially after knowing the lasting impact it’d left on her. Of course Eddie knew all about his peers impacting his self esteem, he was never popular, and for a while he’d been the butt of the joke, but as he got older he embraced the “the freak” title which led to him building up his own confident facade, but underneath all of that he was still the stupid kid projecting his own pain onto his best friend.

These realizations led Eddie to spending the next week and a half trying to talk to Y/n, and every single time he tried to catch her-whether it be at her job, or at the town library, or when she’d pick up her siblings, or when she went to Erica’s middle school dance competitions-she would simply ignore him and move away from him.

He knew he had to apologize to her, he knew he had to let her know that he never meant any of it, that he’d practically been in love with her since they were kids, that he thought she was the prettiest girl in their grade as kids, and that the only reason he accepted the bet was because he knew he would finally be able to admit his feelings to her-but as a kid he was stupid-in fact he was so stupid that he word vomited that things started as a bet over a measly forty dollars at the worst possible time, and when y/n got mad-what did he do? He just said whatever would make her want to leave him alone-because he knew she wouldn’t want anything to do with him after that.

Then his mom split, and he went from being an idiot to a hurt, angry, idiot. So he started to project that onto the people in his life, and y/n just happened to be one of them. He even remembered shoving her-something he should’ve never done-something he regretted doing.

Eddie Munson knew one thing, he was absolutely in love with Y/n Sinclair, and he always had been. But he needed to prove that to her, and he needed to start with an apology for his stupidity, he knew he couldn’t make up for the pain he caused her, but he knew the apology was a start.

Which is what led him to standing in her room awkwardly at six fifty-four on a Tuesday afternoon. Lucas told him that she got home from her classes and work at seven, so he let Eddie in, and now the man was pacing back and forth in a bedroom he hadn’t been in since he was nine. Granted it was a lot different, the once pink paint now replaced with white, but her walls were covered in posters, tickets, signs, and she had a large wall shelf near her closet which displayed her cheer trophies, starting from the sixth grade leading through the twelfth. She had her art work up on the walls, and all of her furniture was originally white, some objects covered in stickers, others were clearly worn-but the entire room fit her.

He placed the large stuffed cartoony octopus on her bed, alongside that he’d gotten her sunflowers, and that was solely there to lighten the blow of Eddie being in her room. Everything else was going to be said, and he sure as hell hoped she wouldn’t knee him in the groin and kick him out-but that was also something he tried to prepare himself for-knowing he’d just have to take the hit and walk it off.

Another few minutes passed before the door opened, followed by Y/n letting out a small yelp at the sight of Eddie-then she furrowed her brows, looking at her bed. She shushed him with a singular finger as she walked towards her bed, picking up the small card next to the sunflowers.

‘All I need is ten minutes, please’ she knew his messy handwriting anywhere, he hadn’t ever grown out of it. So she picked up the sunflowers, opened her closet and pulled out one of the vases she’d made in her pottery elective and placed them inside before grabbing the water bottle from her bag and pouring the water inside, following it with the water from the nearly full bottle on her desk.

He watched as she moved in silence, placing the vase on top of her dresser which sat adjacent to her window. Then she took off her shoes, followed by her socks and placed her shoes on the shoe rack in her closet and her socks in her dirty clothes hamper. Once she finished doing that she sat on her bed-holding the Octopus again while glancing at him.

“I know they’re your favorite-cause they uh-they have three hearts.” she nodded her head at him, her expression unreadable while she stared at him. It was something she’d gotten good at, yes she had a temper, and yes she wore her heart on her sleeve most of the time, however when it came to moments like these, she knew how to keep herself composed and almost looking numb to the world around her.

Internally Y/n was screaming, she wanted to start throwing things at Eddie the second she saw him, she wanted to trash the flowers, she wanted to burn the card and tell him to get the hell out, she wanted to do a lot of things, but after a week of crying herself to sleep in an almost heartbroken manner, she figured she’d listen to whatever the hell he had to say-especially if her younger brothers were in on it.

“Are you not gonna say anything-no-okay that’s totally fine-uh I just uh I came to apologize. Which I know is super late and super overdue and probably doesn’t mean shit to you anymore, especially because I kind of forgot why you hated me, then everyone kind of told me-why? I don’t even know because you hate me-and I deserve to be hated for what I did cause shit I was a dickhead-but I just I need you to know-that I-that I lo-no sorry that’s not it. Uh that I’m sorry.”

She furrowed her brows, blinking a few times, tilting her head in a confused manner.

“I’m not really good at this kind of thing y’know, I’m kind of a coward, I don’t really like confrontation-it's’ all an act-and I know that you know that it’s all an act because you see right through my shit which is why it’s always been so hard to get close to you because jesus you see through everyone's shit and yea I knew you weren’t as happy go lucky and positive as you wanted people to think you were, but you have these walls up and they're like a russian gulag’s walls-they’re like impenetrable and shit I’m the reason they’re even there in the first place because nine year old me was such a little prick”

Y/n stiffled a laugh at that, nodding her head slightly, he was rambling, it was clear he was nervous, and somehow she found it comforting. She found him comforting-even if he was the cause for her heartbreak-and for her anger. He was also the cure.

“I’m just so sorry I said that shit about you, I’ve never in my life thought you were ugly-jesus christ I was so in love with you as a kid but I could never even tell you because I was a coward, and then they made that stupid bet to me and I was like ‘sweet heres a way to get the girl and also get some money’ cause y’know when you’re a kid you’re stupid and concerned with forty dollars-but I mean I deal pot so I guess i’m still concerned with forty dollars.”

He took a pause, running his hands through his messy curly hair, while also fanning himself “jesus is it hot in here or is that just me? Do you mind if i just-” with that he took off his denim vest and leather jacket, leaving him in his hellfire shirt. “-I was wrong to call you ugly and to say all that mean ass shit because I was freaking out and I was already hurting and I was so afraid to tell you in that moment that I really liked you and I thought you’d reject the hell out of me-even though it makes no sense thinking back on that-so I just said whatever I thought would make you hate me, and clearly it worked because we’re both twenty and you still hate me” he placed his hands on his hips for a second, avoiding making eye contact while he looked up at the roof.

“Then you showed up to my uncle’s trailer, and you had those gummy bears, and I knew it took you a while to get there, and I was just doing so fucking shitty, I was so hurt over my mom and I had like no real friends left because you were probably the best friend I had as a kid, and I felt so fucking miserable so I just projected it all onto you and I should’ve never done that because it was mean and it was stupid and I’m so-so-so sorry that I made you feel less than, or that I made you question your beauty because listen to me Y/n-you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out”

He now looked down, holding eye contact with her, and he couldn’t stop the words from coming out “and jesus christ I did everything to get a reaction out of you after that because it was the only way you’d actually talk to me, and i knew I annoyed the shit out of you, but then you’d respond and you’d say the bitchiest shit and I’d be there feeling like I wanted to go home and think about you, and your attitude, and the way you knit your brows together and how pretty you look when you’re about to cuss someone out, and i felt like i was gonna kick my feet back and forth and twirl my fucking hair or something”

“I’m so sorry for making you feel the way I did, I’m so sorry that I never apologized to you and that I gave up on trying, because jesus christ y/n I’m so in love with you that it fucking hurts. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids and I was such a little asshole”

Her eyes widened at that, jaw dropping at his confession as everything processed, she didn’t even realize she was standing and walking towards him until she was a few inches from him.

“Say it again Eddie” he blinked a few times, his breath hitched at her closeness to him “please Eddie I need you to say it again” he swallowed hard, eyes wide, and as she stared at him all she could see were emotions running wild in his eyes.

“I’m in love with you” that’s all it took for Y/n to place her hands on the sides of his face and pull him in, their lips clashing together at first, then molding together like the perfect match, one of her hands moved to the back of his neck-holding him against her as his hands found their place on her jaw-thumb lightly caressing the skin of her face as his other hand sat against her waist.

She poured all of her emotions into the kiss, the anger, the annoyance, the hatred, and most importantly the love she’d always had for him.

It was difficult for Y/n to navigate her feelings towards Eddie Munson, she’d gone most of her life equating the heartbreak she’d experienced to hatred, and as they got older she did her best to keep the anger from fourth grade, but eventually that anger and hatred turned into love. An emotion she could never really identify or process, she loved Eddie Munson. Not because he broke her heart as a child-no she loved Eddie Munson because even if he did break her heart, he was always around, he never truly left her alone, he was always somehow wedging himself into her life even when she tried to push him out.

Over the past week any time she thought through her relationship with Eddie she realized two things.

One- she valued his opinion of her above everyone else's, it was the same reason that throughout middle school she found herself looking in the mirror wondering what he would think of her hair, or her clothes, or her music taste. It was also the reason that in high school she dumped her ex boyfriend because of Eddie’s sly comments about the fact that she could do better-and he was right. She wanted to be the pretty popular girl that everyone wanted, most importantly she wanted to prove her 9 year old self, and his 9 year old self wrong-she was pretty, and she would use that to her advantage. so she settled for someone who would help that happen-and in the end she broke up with him because he was a self absorbed douchebag.

Hell, it was the entire reason that she kept painting and sculpting, everyone told her that it was a waste of time, but Eddie always complimented her work, even when she wasn’t looking or around, he’d write little notes about the in progress pieces, and he’d tape them to the back of the canvases, or he’d tape them to the base of the sculptures. She knew it was him, she even told him to ‘fuck off with the fake compliments’ once, to which he responded with ‘alas the only thing fake is your hate for me’.

The second thing she realized was that he was one of the most constant factors in her life, it wasn’t because Eddie was from the same shitty town she was, or because he was her self proclaimed arch nemesis, or even because they ended up being polar opposites in high school. No, he was a constant factor in her life because behind all of those sly comments and petty arguments he was always there when she needed someone around.

He always knew when to show up, it was odd, but whenever she needed someone around-there he was, making a sly comment about her friend group as she sat alone in the library, or he’d lean against the locker next to hers, complimenting her ‘cute little cheerleader outfit’, to follow it up with ‘didn’t know you were into halloween that much’. He was never truly malicious, and yet she was, but he still stuck around because deep down the both of them knew that they’d always find their way back to one another.

As enemies or as lovers, they were fine with either, but now, now Y/n Sinclair knew she was in love with Eddie Munson, and she was tired of denying that.

Taglist: @dmonchld @anxietyandtacos @1nfinitely-yours

If you’d like to be tagged in any of my future stranger things fics or Eddie Munson fics please send me an ask :), I’m in the process of making a new ST masterlsit and taglist doc so yea

#Eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x sinclair!reader #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #stranger things x you

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bluecatwriter · 4 months

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A Blood of My Blood-universe scene of Arthur and Jack soon after returning to England, based on this prompt from @animate-mush: "Jack hopped up on whatever combination of pain medication is getting him through the catastrophic loss of one of his limbs just covering Arthur with sloppy kisses about it." Don't mind if I do.

(CW for medicinal drug use and mildly dubious consent)

Jack had been breaking a lot of things lately.

Earlier today, it had been a drinking-glass, hurled against the wall. Yesterday it had been a window-pane of the bedroom they shared, shattered by a paperweight from Jack's desk (the pane was now covered in nailed-down cloth to keep the winter chill out until a workman could come fix it). And now, as Arthur laid in bed and Jack sat at his desk, it was a book, which Jack was tearing out page by page with his single hand, crumpled paper falling like snow around him.

Arthur had stopped trying many days ago to make him stop. Jack was alive, and that was all Arthur cared about. Let him shatter and rip and shred the house apart, for what was broken in his own flesh— the ragged scar from his face across his throat, the severed stump of his left hand— was mending, cell by cell.

Losing his voice was the biggest blow, Arthur knew. Jack was not exactly a storyteller, not like Quincey (the name sent a sharp pain up into his heart, a flash of memory, Quincey's mangled body in the snow). But he processed things verbally, he communicated things verbally, and he could barely write with his right hand. Arthur had been scrambling to figure out solutions— a one-handed typewriter, an instructor to teach them both a modified version of sign language— but he knew that Jack didn't want solutions, he wanted his voice back.

So Arthur was quiet while Jack raged. He deserved a bit of raging, Arthur figured.

Arthur drifted in and out of a shallow sleep; he and Jack had shared a bed ever since they'd returned to Ring, but Jack went to bed much later than he did, and he had learned not to try to hurry him. It was probably far after midnight when the sound of ripping paper stopped, and Arthur heard the shuffling around that told him Jack had resigned himself to taking his medication for the night and crawling into bed.

Jack was on a couple different pain medications right now— grudgingly so, but without which he could not function. He always took morphine before bed, and Arthur cracked his eye open to see Jack wrapping the tourniquet around his left arm and injecting himself, staring blankly ahead, not even flinching. When he was done, he put everything away, dropped his glasses on the desk with a clatter, turned off all but one gas-lamp (they had learned to keep a light on, so that Jack could "talk" even if he woke up in the night), and shuffled over to the bed.

Arthur lifted the blanket and let Jack flop down next to him, face to face. Jack was staring a thousand miles away, lying on his left side with bandaged stump of his arm tucked against his chest.

Arthur scooted closer and held him, because of instinct, because of habit, because of terror that Jack would disappear like mist if he didn't put his arm around him and convince himself he was real. Neither of them could bear the thought of waking up from nightmares to find himself alone.

Arthur signed Goodnight. He could have spoken it aloud, but he wanted to show some solidarity. Jack didn't reply, just laid on the pillow as if dead.

With a sigh, Arthur closed his eyes and drifted to sleep again.

He had been asleep for some time when he found himself surfacing, and he quickly realized that Jack was crying. The sounds that came from his throat were strangled gurgles, and tears flowed down his cheeks. Arthur stirred and pulled him closer, soothing a hand over his arm as Jack's hand gripped his shirt.

"Are you all r—" Arthur began to ask, but in an instant Jack grabbed him by his hair and kissed him.

The kiss knocked Arthur's breath out; they'd been sharing a bed for weeks now, but had never done this before. He tried to pull back, to ask Jack what had prompted this, but Jack's hand clenched harder in his hair, his mouth hot and insistent, his leg hooking over Arthur's to pull his body closer. His mouth had a sharp metallic tang, scents of blood and bile, but the passion in his kiss sent Arthur's head reeling. When he took Jack's shoulders and firmly pushed him away, Jack made a whining sound.

"Jack," Arthur said, a bit breathless, "what are you— you— You're high on morphine right now, I can't—"

Jack's face wrinkled into almost a snarl, and he clapped his fingers together to sign Stop. In an instant he had sat up, pushed Arthur onto his back, thrown a leg over him to straddle him, and begun kissing him again— his mouth, his cheeks, his chin, his eyes, tears dripping down onto his face. Arthur tried to convince himself to resist again, to feel that he was somehow taking advantage, but he couldn't muster the will. Jack's hand in his hair, his lips moving with brutal desperation, his weight pinning him down: all of it begged him to let go, to give Jack everything he wanted.

He cupped Jack's face in both hands, his fingers gingerly grazing over the stitched skin on his jaw. At his touch Jack's movements slowed, and Jack settled his full weight on top of him, kissing him as if slowly gulping down huge draughts of water. Arthur held out a moment more before melting against the bed, opening his mouth to accept lips against lips, tongue against tongue.

Everything for so long had hurt so much, and this did not hurt. He gave in.

Jack awoke slowly, disoriented by the late morning light. Arthur's arm was thrown over him as usual, but it was bare, warm against his own naked skin. Jack stiffened as he remembered last night, and at his movement, he felt Arthur murmur and wake up behind him.

For a moment, they just laid there curled up together tensely. Then Jack shook off Arthur's arm and sat up, the cold air of the room raising goosebumps on his bare skin. Arthur looked up at him uncertainly, his eyes wide.

Jack swallowed, feeling a painful squeeze in his throat as he always did. He made a fist and circled it over his chest. Sorry.

Arthur sat up slowly, and Jack blushed and looked away. He spoke softly. "I'm only sorry if you are."

Jack's blush grew deeper. If he could've spoken, he would have said, I'm not sorry, really. Only mortified. Instead, he reached out and took Arthur's hand, squeezing it.

Arthur touched his chin and turned his head gently, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Whatever gets us through, right?"

Jack sank against him, pressing his face against his neck, and let out a breath as Arthur's arms came around him. Jack nodded against him, feeling a spaciousness in his heart that he hadn't felt before.

Whatever got them through.

~~~

#my writing #blood of my blood #holmward #dracula fanfiction #arthur holmwood #jack seward

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officialaemondtargaryen · 2 years

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Age Of Consent [part eight]

Summary: Dustin’s older sister thinks Eddie Munson could be a bad influence on her younger brother due to their history. Can he change her mind?

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Henderson!Reader

Word Count: 1,783

What you’ll find in this series: big angst, wholesome fluff, sexual content, drug use, tobacco use, alcohol use, and a lot of profanity. This is a slow burn- buckle up, buttercup.

A/N: This one is short, mainly due to the fact that I had absolutely NO idea where this was headed at any point of writing this. Only two more chapters left! Fun fact, chapter nine was the first part of this story that I wrote. It's all been leading up to the next chapter for me so I am super excited for you to finally read that. Also, just one more time, thank you from the bottom of my heart for following this story.

Read Part Seven || Read Part Nine

Dustin was smitten with himself.

In fact, all of the Hellfire Club sat in a comfortable silence at the lunch table come Monday, sharing knowing glances with each other. Their leader sitting at the helm, unable to keep himself from smiling as he recalled this past weekend. None of them had ever seen Eddie like this, but instead of giving him a hard time or jokingly teasing him, they accepted this new found happiness and let him have it.

On the other hand, you weren't exactly sure what you were feeling.

After spending all of Sunday intertwined with Eddie a realization hit you like a brick on Monday morning when you woke up alone: that it was a mistake, that you weren't thinking clearly due to the alcohol, and that you and Eddie just didn't work. None of those things were true, and deep down you knew that, but you just couldn't admit the fact that you were absolutely terrified of the man.

When you broke up with Eddie at graduation you never moved on. You worked and you had your classes at the community college and you'd hang out at home. Occasionally you'd catch a movie with Steve and his friend Robin, or you'd grab lunch with your coworker, but when it came to dating, you just couldn't find it in yourself to even try with anyone else. You'd meet a customer who would drop a flirty line and you couldn't help but notice how their eyes weren't as pretty, their smile wasn't as perfect, or their voice didn't make you weak at the knees. Or you'd meet someone in one of your classes and you'd have nothing in common; they didn't play D&D, they didn't get your musical reference, or they weren't as creative.

Eddie was your first and only.

Moving on was horrifying.

Going back was even scarier.

You had avoided him and Dustin for a few days, blaming it on being busy with class and work. You even picked up some overtime to cover your ass. When Eddie called the house you'd have Dustin tell him you were studying for some big test. Really, you just needed to figure some things out and give yourself time to think and decide on what you wanted; you couldn't do that and be near him.

"Okay, before you ask me for relationship advice- and, I know that's why you asked me to come over here- just remember that it is your decision what you do with that advice and I will not be held accountable for what happens if you did choose to follow said advice."

Robin sat cross-legged on the floor in the aisle you were currently stocking shelves in. You didn't have many friends and you could not ask Steve for love advice. Sure, you didn't exactly know Robin Buckley that well, but she seemed to be pretty observant and highly intelligent.

"So, it's Eddie, right?" She asked. "He's pretty cool."

"Yeah," you smiled. "He is."

"Before I provide you with what might be very questionable advice, is there a way that you could give me a breakdown of what happened between you for starters?" Robin fiddled with the price stamp that sat in the box at your feet, pressing a sticker to her forehead and laughing.

You hadn't really ever talked about this before.

"Well," you began. "We met in freshman year. I really didn't have any friends, but Eddie just kind of stuck around. He was always helping me and making me laugh. I feel like we were always together, even before he asked me to go steady."

"My dad had just passed," you continued and Robin frowned. "My family was devastated. I mean, my mom didn't stop crying for months. I wanted to tell her about Eddie, I wanted them to meet him, but- Eddie was never the type of guy that I saw myself with, and I was afraid that my mom would think that she needed to be worried about me on top of mourning my father."

"So I never told them. We argued about it all of the time, but we were still inseparable. And when we were in junior year, he- well, we- you know, for the first time." Robin nodded. "We were each other's firsts, and he told me he loved me. The day before my English midterm in senior year, Eddie asked me to go out to the woods and hit a joint with him. I knew he smoked, I even smoked sometimes, but never at school. He begged me to go with him- said that it would help with the stress of the final."

"We got caught. We both got suspended. Of course, he didn't care, he hated school. My life, however, felt like it had been ruined- especially because that type of suspension goes on your record, and well, bye-bye Purdue. I was just so angry, I blamed him for so long and pushed him away when it wasn't even his fault. Then at my graduation, he wasn't there, he didn't watch me walk across the stage. He was smoking pot under the bleachers, and that was it. I just felt like he didn't care about me, or himself, and that he was just going to dig a hole that he wouldn't be able to crawl out of and I couldn't let myself get sucked in."

"Hm," Robin nodded and placed her thumb and index finger under her chin; the bright orange price tag still stuck to her forehead. "And since you've started seeing him again?"

"That was Dustin's doing," you rolled your eyes. "He tried to set us up. Gotta give it to the little shit though, it worked."

"But you're still unsure?"

"I guess- I just, I don't know." You slouched your shoulders and sighed. "I'm sure that I love him, but something is holding me back."

"If Tom Cruise showed up on your door step and asked you out, tonight-"

"That has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but no." You laughed. "Robin, I can't even look at anyone else and not wish that it was him."

"Oh, you are so screwed."

You sighed again, "I am totally screwed."

"There's only one thing to do then," She smirked. "Go get him."

You know what?" You asked, looking up at the clock, noticing that it was twenty minutes til Eddie's lunch block. Immediately, you untied your apron and threw it in the cardboard box at your feet. "You're right. What the hell?"

You yelled at your boss that you would be back and ran to your car, shoving the keys in the ignition and throwing it into reverse. A surprise lunch visit to confess your love in front of everyone? Talk about making him the happiest man alive, he'd absolutely eat it up. Eddie was soft like that.

When you got to the cafeteria of Hawkins High, however, Eddie was nowhere to be found. His favorite part of the day was lunch break, so it was confusing to not see him, especially because you did see his van in the parking lot. You did happen to notice your little brother and Mike, along with some of the other kids you had seen that one time you were at Hellfire.

"Dustin," you asked making your way over to the group.

"Y/N?" Dustin was confused to see you. "What are you doing here?"

"Where's Eddie?" You asked, he shrugged.

"He said something about going out to the woods past the football fields." One of the other kids said.

Your stomach dropped and you immediately began regretting coming here. Yet, you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, so you made the very familiar walk past the football fields to the small, hidden path into the woods. As your feet carried you towards that secluded clearing, you could hear laughter- no, it was giggling- and it wasn't Eddie. Peering through the trees, you could see what looked like a cheerleader sitting on the top of the table, kicking her legs off of the side.

You took a couple more steps, trying to get a better look, and noticed Eddie. He was smiling wide, pulling at his hair. The girl threw her head back, laughing obnoxiously at something he had just said. Was he flirting?

"Hey," you stepped out of the clearing, bringing their attention to you. Eddie's eye widened, his face turning pale.

The girl was pretty. Pretty young, too. She was dressed in that same pristine white cheerleader's uniform that made you remember every insult one of those pretentious bitches would spit at you daily. She looked at you, her eyebrows pulled in.

"Uh, hi?" Her voice was nasally and you could see the shine in her lipgloss from a distance. "Can we help you?"

"Kelly, you should go." Eddie stated.

Kelly looked between the two of you.

"You heard him." You added.

Without another word, Kelly hopped down off of the table and charged past you- she wouldn't even look you in the eye. You stood there, silently, waiting until she was out of earshot, and stared him down, gritting your teeth.

"I guess it's not good enough for you to sell the drugs to the underage girls, you have to flirt with them too?" You finally said after what felt like hours.

"It's not-" Eddie sighed and took a step toward you. "What are you even doing here?"

"I came to see my boyfriend for lunch," you muttered. "Surprise!" Eddie wasn't sure what to say, he was pretty in shock. "But it looks like you had plenty of company," you continued. "So, I'm going to go. This was a mistake."

"Y/N, wait-"

You tossed your hand up in the air, waving him off, and stomped back through the trees towards the school before he could say anything else. That part of your brain or heart or whatever it was, that was against going back to your ex who you had thought changed but was very much still the stupid kid you met in high school, was screaming profanities at you. How could you possibly think that was a good idea? Cheerleaders? Who was he?

So much for not fucking with him, he was the one who was fucking with you this whole time. You felt stupid and embarrassed and disappointed.

When you got back to work, Robin was still in the same spot much to your surprise. She took on a look at your face and frowned.

"You want to talk about it?" She offered after a few moments.

"Not really," you muttered. "But that was definitely the worst idea I've ever had."

Tags (closed):

@fangirling-4-ever, @nojamsonmytoast, @munson-burner, @slvdsjjk, @kiszkawagnerwhore, @bitterplacebrokendreamsmaegan, @katxn15, @itswormtrain, @itsallnonsens3, @aashy723, @buginktsworld, @in-this-minute, @peachyxholic, @colbychu, @bilbobag9ins, @cat-mak20, @bumpbeaded, @liv4193, @thisisntmyrightera, @chloepart03, @creativedogs, @simp4fictional, @serrendiipty, @equuleus86, @morganasimp26, @evewithluv, @1980shorrorfillm, @you-makeme-crazier, @icareabouteverythxng, @cyberneticfallout, @eddiemattress, @bethii1, @immybx, @sortafictional, @bbyharlow, @persona-lreference, @michaelfuckinglangdon, @cvmtitss, @1800-fight-me, @brain-of-nekoma, @eddiesgoodgirl, @eddie-swhore, @16bruises

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mymoodwriting · 1 year

Photo

Request for Anon (Yandere Cult NCT) 13.3k, yandere, drugs, needles, manipulation, stalking, harassment, psychedelics, cult mentality, mental abuse, verbal abuse, torture, kidnapping, mentions of self-harm, anxiety, home invasion

“You look like you need help.”

This wasn’t the first time you had been approached on the streets, and you knew these types of people well enough to ignore them. Except this time around you didn’t have the energy to do it. So the nice gentleman, you think, caught onto that and now here you were.

“I’m just tired and would like to get home.”

“And who’s waiting for you there?”

“What? No one, it’s just me.”

“So you don’t have anyone.”

“Look, I just-”

“You should come with me then.”

The gentleman took your hand and started pulling you along. You didn’t want to attract attention, and you didn’t have the strength to pull away so you begrudgingly followed. You were led into this small venue, another gentleman up on a stage talking to the crowd. There were a decent amount of seats filled, but plenty of empty spaces too. The one who brought you had you sit between him and someone else you politely greeted. You figured you were stuck here until this was over, and might have fallen asleep if the speech hadn’t actually piqued your interest.

“Connections. They make us who we are, no matter how big or small they may be. The truth is we are connected to many of the things around us. Whether that be people or objects. I ask you all to take a moment and think about those connections, and what they say about you. Perhaps you think of a dear friend, remembering the good times you’ve spent together, and those that are yet to come. Or perhaps a certain object comes to mind, like a picture framed up at home, taking you back to a moment you immortalized forever. These connections hold us up and help us go on in our lives. They might even lead us to new connections.”

You did think of home, of a blanket you slept with every night. You’ve had it since you were a baby, able to look back at old photos and see yourself with it. To this day it meant a lot to you, probably the thing you’ve had the longest, and it was just perfect to you. It held so many memories, good and bad, and you knew it would continue to do so for many years to come. You never realized how important it was until now, and that brought a smile to your face.

“I see some smiles, but as I’m sure you can tell, not many are aware of these connections in life. Which is why I believe it’s important to surround yourself with those who do, so you can forge strong connections and maintain them. To support one another through anything and everything. That’s what my community is all about, and I invite you to join us.”

There was a screen behind the speaker, and it had the word connection in lower case on it. As the invitation to join came up it suddenly changed, a few letters becoming uppercase. The second N, then the C, and T. Along with that new letters appeared, going down, revealing a new name. Neo Culture Technology. It sounded vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

“Neo Culture Technology. NCT. Is a group that understands these connections, and supports one another. I, Lee Taeyong, started this group with the idea to unite everyone. Of course, that is most likely impossible in my lifetime, but it won’t stop me from creating my small community and believing it shall grow beyond me. I thank you all for coming, please enjoy some refreshments and mingle if you have the time. The people here are eager to make new connections.”

After a moment there was applause, and then chatter filled the room. The two gentleman on either side of you greeted each other, seeming to be friends, before speaking to you.

“Hello, I’m Kun, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Y/n, hi.”

“And how did Hendery manage to bring you here? I hear he’s usually too much.”

“I am not!”

“Well he did kinda drag me here.”

“I… sorry, I just…”

“You didn’t actually hurt me, so I’ll let it go, but I don’t recommend doing that to someone else. They might not be as nice.”

“Noted. Shall we meet some others? Or do you need to go?”

“I can stay for a moment.”

“Awesome.”

You followed the two over to where the people had gathered, getting a drink and a quick snack. Everyone was very nice, talking about mundane things, you kinda forgot you had been dragged here against your will. Although you still had to get home and sleep, you had work in the morning.

“I should really get going, but thanks for this.”

“No problem.” Hendery smiled. “I do hope to see you again.”

“We’ll see.”

“Actually.” Another gentleman suddenly approached you. “NCT is having a weekend getaway, we’ve rented out a campsite, and we’d love for you to join us.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I can do that…”

“You can think about it. Here’s my card. I’m Doyoung by the way.”

“Ah, thank you, and nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you as well. If you change your mind, give me a call by Thursday evening so we can add you to the list.”

“Alright, thanks.”

You made your way out of the venue, checking the time. It was late, but the whole event hadn’t been as bad as you thought. As you made your way home it lingered in your mind, even as you got ready for bed, and laid down in the sheets. The idea of forming meaningful connections was nice, but you had to get to sleep. Thankfully it came easy, and in the blink of an eye it was a new day and you had to drag yourself out of bed. You made it to the office in one piece, the day was uneventful until the afternoon.

“Working hard?”

“Always.”

“Well, how about you wind down? I’ve talked to the boss and they agreed to a company dinner tomorrow.”

“Oh, I won’t be-”

“You always skip out, you can’t be avoiding me right?”

Jason was certainly the type who was full of himself and couldn’t understand why someone wouldn’t be interested in them. He has asked you out for coffee or dinner every now and then, and your answer was always the same. It wasn’t gonna stop him though.

“No, I just have plans already.”

“Do you now?”

“Yes.”

“Do tell. I’m curious what you do in your spare time. And don’t say it’s private, how else am I supposed to get to know you.”

“Uh… this group I’m a part of, we’re having a weekend getaway, and we leave Saturday morning, so I can’t be out late Friday night.”

“Oh, what kinda group? Can I join?”

“Not sure, it’s up to them.”

“You should-”

You were grateful to whoever called Jason over, cutting the conversation before he kept poking at your lie. You continued with the rest of your day like normal. It wasn’t until you were home that you remembered what you said. You looked for the card Doyoung had given you, wondering if you should call. A part of you worried about getting caught in your lie, and there was no harm in going with this group of people, they all seemed friendly. So you swallowed your nerves and dialed the number.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is y/n, I don’t know if you remember me.”

“Of course I do. Hendery brought you along, how have you been?”

“Good, good, and you?”

“Excellent. Now, is it safe to assume you’re calling about the camping trip?”

“Yes.”

“Wonderful. I’m glad to hear you’ll be joining us.”

“It sounds like fun.”

“It will be. So if you’ve got time, I just need some information from you. Any allergies, or diet restrictions we need to know about? Also let me know your address so we can have someone pick you up.”

You gave Doyoung the necessary information, also noting his suggestions on what to bring with you, although you weren’t really comfortable with giving your address. You settle on getting picked up somewhere nearby.

“Alright. I’ll get all this sorted and have someone pick you up Saturday morning. I look forward to seeing you.”

“Me too.”

You felt nervous again after the call, realizing what you had agreed to. Even if it was weird you had to remind yourself why you were doing this, and that it could really be fun. Everyone always said you needed to get out more, and this was one way of doing it. Once you calmed your nerves, and set a reminder for Saturday you managed to go to sleep, somewhat dreading but also relieved that tomorrow was nothing special. The day was like any other, and of course your coworkers were excited for dinner, but you weren’t going.

“How about you and me have dinner when you get back.”

Everyone was already closing their stations and grabbing their things, ready to eat. Although Jason came over to your desk, wanting to check in before he goes.

“You can tell me all about your trip.”

“Uh, we’ll see…”

“Have fun then.”

“You too.”

You stayed behind in the office for a bit, wrapping some things up before you made your way home. You bought some food on the way, getting to your place and winding down for a bit before packing up a bag and getting to bed. You made sure your alarm was set, and everything was ready. There was a bit of trouble sleeping, but you did manage to get some rest.

🖤

“Y/n! Over here.”

Your alarm had gone off when it was supposed to, but you made the mistake of closing your eyes for a moment which was actually half an hour. You rushed out of bed and quickly gathered your things, rushing out to the meet up spot. As you arrived you heard your name and saw a familiar face. Hendery was there with a friend, the two waving you over.

“Sorry for being late, I didn’t mean to.”

“That’s alright. I’m sure some of the others are dragging as well. Come on, we can walk over to the bus.”

“Bus?”

“Yeah, Taeyong rented one out to take us all to the campsite together. He feels better having us all close.”

“I see.”

“Oh, this is Xiaojun by the way.”

“Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

You all walked together a couple of blocks, enjoying the morning sun and blue skies. You talked a bit about the morning rush you all had experienced. Staying in bed and sleeping in would be nice, but the trip was exciting. Their energy slowly rubbed off on you, making you less nervous about the whole thing. When you arrived at the pickup spot, many others waved you over, smiles and joy everywhere.

“Y/n! So glad you’re joining us.” Kun gave you a polite hug. “We’re gonna have a lot of fun this weekend.”

“I’m sure we are.”

“Let’s get you checked in.”

Kun took you over to Taeyong, and you got a proper introduction. Your nerves suddenly came back, since he was the leader of this whole group.

“Hello…”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard good things.”

“Have you?”

“Of course. I’m glad you decided to join us. If you don’t mind, could you fill this out, I just need to have your full name and number. And if your phone’s not fully charged you can ask Mark for a charger and power bank, we have cables for all types of phone. Do you have everything you need?”

“Yes, I’m all good. Thank you.”

“Alright. Everyone is almost here, so we’ll be leaving in a few minutes. I can take your bag and get it on the bus for you.”

“Thanks.”

While Taeyong did that you filled out the form and handed it back. Once that was all done you got on the bus. Everyone was friendly and smiled at you, so you just took any empty seat you liked. That’s how you met someone new.

“Hi, I’m Jaemin.”

“Y/n.”

“Oh, pretty.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m glad we have someone new coming along with us.”

“Uh… am I the only one who’s not from your group?”

“Yeah. We invited plenty of people, but you’re the only one who came.”

“Oh…”

“Don’t be shy, I promise no one is gonna make you feel left out.”

“Agreed.” Someone peeked over from behind. “I’m Jeno by the way, nice to meet you.”

“Hello.”

“So, what do you do with your time?”

“I work in an office. It’s this insurance agency, and I work with advertising.”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool.”

“It’s just an office job really, and it pays the bills. What about you two?”

“I’m still studying.” Jeno said. “But I do a bit of modeling on the side.”

“Wow, that is really cool. You’ve certainly got the looks.”

“Oh please, I’m blushing.”

“I’m also studying.” Jaemin added. “And I have an internship with a tech company.”

“Nice. I’m glad to hear you guys are still studying.”

“It sucks at times.”

“But it’s very important.”

The bus soon enough filled up, and Taeyong had everyone quiet down. He did a headcount, calling out names and making sure everyone who was supposed to be here was present. With that the bus started moving. You were told it was a simple two hour drive. Everyone seemed to get along with each other, obviously, you had no idea how long they had all known each other. Although you continued talking to Jaemin and Jeno, also meeting a few others along the trip. Everything was fine, although once you could see nothing but trees outside the window you got a bit anxious.

You were going out into the middle of nowhere, with a bunch of strangers. It really wasn’t the smartest idea. You tried not to look worried, but you were sure it might have caught on. Once you arrived Taeyong did a headcount again, telling everyone to grab their things and head up to the cabin to settle in before they grab breakfast and then start with activities. After grabbing your things Taeyong pulled you aside, letting you know that if at any point you wanted to leave, there was a car and he’d drive you back himself, no questions asked.

Now you really felt called out, but at least you had some relief knowing there was some understanding to your situation, being the only outsider, and that you weren’t trapped or obligated to stay here. Taeyong went with you to the cabin, once again doing a headcount when everyone was there. The place wasn’t a small cabin, but seemed more like a resort. There weren’t any individual rooms, so everyone would sleep together in the main hall. You’d all be staying for one night only, so that seemed reasonable. There were lockers to put your things in, and the important facilities were pointed out. Once that was all done everyone gathered in the mess hall for some breakfast. This was truly the embarrassing part.

“Everyone, quiet down.”

Taeyong got atop one of the tables, speaking over everyone else and getting them to be quiet. He thanked everyone for coming, especially you, and suddenly all eyes were on you. This was his way of properly introducing you to everyone, making you extremely shy. No one teased you, but everyone was very happy to say hello and get acquainted. It also made sure conversations kept going and you never felt neglected. After breakfast it seemed that you’d all be going on a little hike. The group had been here before, and enjoyed taking in the scenes of nature. They were also very excited to show you, which also kept you from getting so nervous.

It was said to be better to split off into groups of six so no one felt excluded or alone. You got put with Taeyong, Doyoung, Jungwoo, Mark, and Yuta. They were all super friendly, and gave you a lot of attention. Being the outsider also gave them the excuse to constantly point things out to you and ramble a bit about the trees, leaves, the birds, and the ponds. They were honestly all really cute, and you actually enjoyed the little hike, getting to know them more along the way. You actually had a picnic around lunch time together, having found a nice clearing to set up on. It was a really beautiful experience, and a good way to rest. After that you returned to the cabin and regrouped with the rest.

Everyone had stories to share, which was perfect as people were mixed around to help prepare for the night. You were helping with refreshments, finding yourself between Haechan and YangYang, squeezing oranges and trying not to make a mess. You wound up talking a lot, rambling out of nervousness and excitement, having been enjoying your day so far, and they were happy to listen. As it began to get dark the grilling and set up for dinner started, Taeyong also suggesting everyone take turns cleaning up for the night.

You were one of the last to shower, and by the time you stepped outside the smell of food was in the air, and a few campfires were going with people roasting marshmallows. You got something to eat, finding a spot to sit, getting thanked for all your work with the refreshments. It really felt like a party now, food and laughter in the air, making it so easy to forget your troubles. Although as the sky got darker, and everyone had food in their bellies, things kinda got serious. Taeyong brought everything back to connections, how everyone here was connected, and that they were here for each other.

You were all out in the woods alone but together, so he opened up the time to just talk about things that might be on someone’s mind. Things ranged from being nervous about school or work, about possible opportunities on the way. It got deep, some sharing their concerns about where they’re going in life, and that certainly struck a chord with you. Your silence and minor zoning out was noticed by Sicheng, who was sitting by your side. He stepped away for a moment and then returned, handing you a glass of juice and asking if you were alright. You thanked him for the drink, taking a sip.

“I’m good… just thinking…”

“Do you wanna talk to the group?”

“I don’t think I could. You all know each other, it’d be like intruding…”

“But you’re here with us, you’re one of us. And if you don’t see it like that, we are just a bunch of strangers to you, who better to unload on.”

“I suppose…”

“Go on then. Guys!” Sicheng got everyone to quiet down. “Go ahead.”

“Uh… well…”

“What’s on your mind?”

“I don’t… I don’t know… I’m like… alright financially, but I feel like I’m not going anywhere… like I’m stuck… work is just where I go, and I just can’t find the strength or even need to socialize with the people around me… I feel like something’s wrong with me…”

“That’s hardly the case.” Taeyong spoke. “It sounds like you lack connections in your life, and that’s not entirely your fault. If those around you aren’t willing to connect, all your efforts come off in vain. There’s nothing wrong with you, it just seems those people aren’t appreciating you.”

“Which is bullshit, by the way.” Ten added. “You’re wonderful, and people should be way nicer to you.”

Suddenly getting showered with compliments made your face burn. You had to politely ask them to stop, and that’s how the night really began to wind down. By then you were all gathered around the biggest campfire. After who knows how long Taeyong suggested that those who were tired should get to bed. A few got up and headed inside, but you stuck around for a while longer, enjoying a few more smores and watching the pretty fire. After a third yawn you retired for the night, finishing your drink and going inside.

You cleaned up a bit more before changing into something to sleep in and finding a place in the main hall. Plenty of sleeping bags, blankets, and pillows were stacked against the walls by the entrance, so you grabbed what you wanted and found a nice place to lay down. The exhilaration of the day was slowly fading, and exhaustion was engulfing you. This wasn’t your room or your bed, but you found it easy to fall asleep, closing your eyes and snuggling the sheets, drifting off into dreamland.

🖤

You opened your eyes to find the morning sun on your face. It was nice, but after a moment you remembered there weren’t any windows that low in the main hall. You quickly sat up, realizing you weren’t where you had laid down to rest. Instead you were on a couch in a room you did not recognize. You looked around, trying to understand your situation, and find a way out of this place. The panic was bubbling up, but suddenly you found that you were not alone, finding a familiar face.

“Sleeping well?”

You watched Taeyong come down the spiraling stairs, offering you a smile and then standing by the windows, looking out at the skyline.

“Where am I…”

“Somewhere safe. It’s honestly amazing you’re here. So, tell me, what made you decide to come on our trip?”

“Uh… well I thought it’d be fun… a nice weekend getaway to unwind.”

“Is that so?”

‘I just have plans already… this group I’m a part of, we’re having a weekend getaway… I can’t be out late Friday night…’

Your disembodied voice came from out of nowhere, and it actually scared you. Although you had no idea how this was possible. You knew these words weren’t said to Taeyong or anyone in NCT, and yet here they were. Taeyong moved over to sit across from you, his demeanor giving nothing away.

“What the…”

“Did you really come out here to avoid someone?”

“What?”

“That’s quite a big move. Do they bother you that much?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s important to be open with one another when forming a connection, and to support each other. If you need us, or anything, we’re here for you.”

“Uh…”

“Shall we connect?”

Taeyong held his hand out to you, a gentle smile on his face. Nothing made sense, and yet you felt a subtle compulsion to take his hand, to accept it, his offer, regardless of what it meant. Although as you began to move closer to him, reaching out, everything faded to black.

🖤

You felt warm all over as you began to regain consciousness. You thought to yourself the sleeping bag was just that warm, although as you opened your eyes you realized the truth. You found yourself sandwiched between Jaehyun and Johnny, practically cuddled up in their arms. You tried to wiggle your way out of their grasp, waking them up in the process, and they both immediately moved away.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t… shit, sorry.”

“I don’t usually move in my sleep, we’re so sorry.”

“I’m fine… are you guys okay? Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Why are you so loud?” Jisung sat up from his place, glaring. “It’s too early.”

“Sleepy head.” Johnny teased. “Others are already up and gone.”

“Then go too, I wanna sleep some more.”

“Okay, okay, let’s go see what’s for breakfast.”

The two others excused themselves, apologizing again. You stayed put for a while, still sleepy but also vaguely thinking about the dream you had just had. It was so weird and made no sense, but those were dreams. You got up and freshened up for the morning, going into the mess hall for some breakfast. It was a little more quiet than before as everyone was still waking up. Everyone said good morning, asking if you slept well. You did, not mentioning the weird dream, but at least you were very warm.

Once everyone was up and had eaten, the day was really sunny, and it was perfect weather to enjoy the lake. You brought a swimsuit along, but you hadn’t realized what going for a swim meant for the others. You swear you had never been surrounded by so many shirtless men. You had to stop yourself from staring too long, and were grateful the water was keeping you cool. There were plenty of water activities to keep you busy, and everyone stuck around the dock to enjoy lunch. Some began to complain about the start of the week, but what mattered was the enjoyment of the present. After lunch you all hung around for a while longer before having to go back to the cabin and clean up. It was time to head home.

You helped make sure the campgrounds were clean, and double checked the main cabin to make sure no one had left anything behind. Taeyong did a headcount as everyone boarded the bus, doing it again inside before you all hit the road. You found yourself staring out the window, still a little sleepy, but overall glad you had fun this weekend. By the time you arrived back in town you felt a bit sad that it was over. Taeyong counted again to make sure everyone had made it back, and thanked everyone for coming out. They grabbed their things, and said their goodbyes to the group.

“Do you want me to walk you back the way we came?” Hendery asked. “Or would you be okay going yourself?”

“Uh… I should be fine alone.”

“Nonsense.” Xiaojun chimed in. “We should walk with you, it’s only fair. Come on.”

You honestly didn’t mind the company, sharing your favorite moments from the weekend on your way. You thanked them again for accompanying you, and wished them well on the rest of their day. You parted ways there, going to your apartment and collapsing on the couch. Now that the little trip was over you could reflect on how you had actually gone with a bunch of guys to a campsite and had a lot of fun in like two days, way more fun than the last two months. You checked your phone to see if you had missed anything, but there weren’t any notifications or unread messages, not surprising.

You ordered some food later on and just wound down for the day with TV. As you were getting ready for bed your phone chimed, multiple times, and it was certainly confusing. When you checked you saw that you had been added to a group chat, NCT’s group chat. Some were already talking about getting together for dinner Monday, and now everyone was responding with their availability. Eventually the question was directed at you, but you only said you’d think about it. You set the chat on mute and got into bed, dreading the tomorrow, but you couldn’t stop it, so might as well get some good sleep.

🖤

“So, how was your trip?”

You had completely forgotten how your Friday night went, so when Jason popped the question Monday morning you panicked a bit. The weekend was suddenly a jumbled mess in your mind.

“Uh… good. We did some hiking and swam out in the lake.”

“Oh, did you have smores?”

“Yup. I burned a marshmallow or two.”

“Well, how about you tell me more over dinner?”

“Another company dinner? So soon?”

“No, I was thinking just the two of us.”

“Oh… I already have plans for tonight. Sorry.”

“Your little group again?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, rain check on that dinner then.”

“Ok.”

Jason caught you off guard with that request, and even though you didn’t intend to go to dinner with the others, that just spilled out of your mouth as a way to avoid Jason’s request. You didn’t have to go, but now that you put the idea out there you were considering it. At the end of the day Jason wished you well, and that was a good enough push to go. You were also somewhat worried Jason would follow you to make sure you weren’t lying, so you were going. You didn’t send a message ahead, and just showed up, your presence met with cheers.

“Y/n! So glad you could make it.”

You were greeted by Johnny, Ten, Jeno, Jaemin, Yuta, Xiaojun, Renjun, Shotaro, and Sungchan. Their energy rubbed off on you quickly, and you took a seat between Yuta and Shotaro. Food was already cooking, and you ordered a drink. The conversations were about the day, and how Mondays always seem to drag.

“So, you work in an office.” Jeno questioned. “Right?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“You got any office drama to share.”

“Oh well, I don’t really socialize with my coworkers.”

“But you must hear everything.” Ten said. “Right?”

“Uh…”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to share. I get it if you only focus on your work.”

“Well it’s hard not to listen in…”

“Oh, so what’s going on?”

“One of the girls in my office… she has a picture of her and her boyfriend on her desk, I believe his name is Eric. Yet I’ve heard her on a personal call in the bathroom on more than one occasion where she’s talking to someone named Maurice. The way she talks to them… sounds like a boyfriend too… so I think she’s like playing two guys.”

“Damn, that’s dangerous.” Renjun commented. “How long has that been going on?”

“Since I’ve heard, at least two months now, but it could be longer.”

“That’s crazy.”

“It explains why she’s always dressed so nice and stuff, she’s got two boys buying her things.”

“I wonder how she dates them.” Johnny questioned. “Do they alternate weekends?”

“Maybe it’s a threesome.” Shotaro said. “That’d be hot.”

“I doubt it.” You countered. “She can barely handle her assignments, I doubt she could manage two guys.”

“What about you?” Yuta asked. “You dating?”

“Me? No, I haven’t really dated.”

“Ever?”

“Yeah…”

“So you’re a virgin?” Jaemin teased. “Right?”

“Uh…”

“Jaemin, behave.” Ten hissed. “Let’s just enjoy the food and the wonderful company we have tonight.”

Thanks to Ten the conversation shifted, some of the others sharing workplace gossip. You stepped away for a moment to use the restroom and came back, checking the time. It was getting late and you knew you needed to get home. Even though it seemed like they were going to keep going, you had to excuse yourself first. Xiaojun offered to walk you to your little drop off location, and everyone agreed, they didn’t want you walking alone at night. You couldn’t refuse, and you wouldn’t have either way.

“Have a good night, sleep well.”

“You too, night.”

You made it back to your apartment safe and sound, happy with how the night went. You got ready for bed and crawled under the sheets, cuddling yourself. At least you ended the day on a good note, so even if you had work in the morning, it didn’t bother you as much. You closed your eyes and peacefully drifted off to sleep.

🖤

“You’re running from someone, why?”

Your eyes shot open when you heard a familiar voice, finding yourself back in that weird living room space, Taeyong staring at the night skyline outside the window. As you sat up he turned back to you, that gentle smile from before. He sat across from you, watching you, waiting.

“What?”

‘I already have plans for tonight… sorry’

Hearing your voice from some unknown place startled you, just like last time. You hadn’t seen Taeyong since you returned, and you said these words at work. It made no sense for him to know any of this, yet he did, and his expressions gave nothing away.

“I wouldn’t say you’re lying, but you are running away from this person… aren’t you? Jerry, is it?”

“What is this?”

“I’m just trying to help you understand.”

“Understand what?”

“Why you need us.”

“Excuse me?”

“Twice now we’ve invited you into our circle, and you’ve accepted twice, not necessarily of your own will, but as a means of escape.” Taeyong chuckled. “I might have taken offense to that, using us as your scape-goat, but you’re comfortable and open around us, have been from the start, and that’s very good.”

“I don’t…”

“But why are you running to us? Are you aware of the answer? That you know we can protect you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about and-”

You felt so out of control in this situation, and it was annoying you. Taeyong was stepping out of lines in ways you couldn’t even understand. You stood with the intention of leaving, doing anything besides listening to him, but as soon as you stood you collapsed, sinking back into darkness.

🖤

You inhaled sharply as you woke up, taking in your surroundings to ground yourself in reality. You took some deep breaths, reminding yourself everything was just a meaningless dream, and the sooner you thought of other things, the sooner it’d fade away. When you looked over at the clock you saw that you were up before your alarm, and you didn’t think you’d be able to fall asleep again. Since you had some time, and your mind was still on the dream, you figured you’d do something you should have done from the beginning. You searched the web for information on NCT.

At first you got the basic information. NCT was a gaming company focused on the development of VR and AR technology. It wasn’t a big company, and the tech wasn’t really perfected or well enough for general market consumption. That explained why the name sounded familiar, but you had to look it up to get an answer. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, until you went beyond the company information. You found some forum talking about them, specifically those gatherings and presentations they have. You weren’t the first to take interest in their words, and it seemed some approached them with an interest to know more, but it all seemed to go the same way.

Many on the forum reported having strange dreams after getting close to NCT, and those same people from the group approaching them more often. It started off innocent, invitations to socialize and one could really get to know them, but the strange dreams persisted. Furthermore, the group themselves became more persistent in their attempts to socialize, and get to know them. It got to a point of borderline harassment, and many had to make reports, change numbers, or even move away to get them to leave them alone. None of that sounded good, nor was it something you wanted to deal with either. Although you thought maybe those things could be exaggerated, as who doesn’t lie on the internet.

Your alarm going off was your sign to stop searching the web and get ready for work. Your thoughts lingered on NCT and what you read but you didn’t let it bother you too much. You made it to your job without issue, going about your day. It was mostly quiet until lunch time, when Jason asked you to join him. There was no excuse this time, and you honestly felt like you owed him, so you agreed, somewhat reluctantly. He was overjoyed, talking about a good place as you made your way down. Once you stepped outside you were met with an unexpected surprise.

“Y/n.”

When you heard your name called you looked over, seeing a familiar face approach you, it was Kun. He seemed excited to see you, meanwhile you were confused how he found you.

“I’m glad I caught you before you went out. Shall we?”

“What?”

“Lunch.”

“Sorry” Jason cut in. “But y/n is having lunch with me. I think you’re outta luck”

Kun scoffed. “I believe you’re the one out of luck here. Y/n already agreed to go with me.”

Before you could say anything, Kun grabbed you and pulled you to his side, although Jason quickly reached over to grab you too.

“Let her go.” Kun stated. “Before you cause a scene.”

“You’re the one causing a scene.”

“Y/n, it’s okay to admit you forgot about today. I understand work must keep you busy.”

“Uh…”

“Just tell him that and let’s go. I don’t want you rushing through a meal.”

You looked between the two, not really sure what to do. You didn’t like this situation either way, and there was no way you got out of it alone. You had seconds to think, and you made the choice that would benefit you more.

“Sorry, Jason. It really must have slipped my mind. Tomorrow, lunch, for sure, I promise.”

Jason sighed and let you go, telling you both to enjoy yourselves. You offered an apologetic smile, and suddenly Kun pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“Let’s go.”

He grabbed your hand and pulled you along as you held your cheek, shocked by his actions. You also had no idea if anyone else saw that. Still, you followed him, going to a nice cafe and enjoying your lunch break. Kun didn’t bring up what happened outside your job, just wanting to talk about you and make you smile. Despite the situation, you did have a good time, but there was something you had to say.

“Kun.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve had a great time hanging out with you, all of you, but this is where I must part ways.”

“Huh?”

“I need to focus on other things, and I don’t really think this group is for me.”

“Ah… I see…”

“I hope you understand and can relay the message to the others.”

You didn’t want to hear anything else, so you got up and thanked Kun for the meal. Although he grabbed your arm and held you back for a moment. His grip was gentle, but you knew he’d hold on if you tried to move. When you looked at him, he didn’t meet your eyes, simply keeping his gaze ahead.

“Don’t believe everything you read.”

Those words sent shivers down your spine. You couldn’t articulate anything, and Kun let you go. For a moment you stood there frozen before you scurried out of the cafe. Your mind was running, thinking about what he meant, but you tried not to let it bother you. Surely anyone who looked up NCT on the web would find what you did, and your decision wasn’t all because of that. Once you were back in the office you could calm yourself down. Quickly removing yourself from that group chat without looking at any other messages.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?” You looked up to see Jason. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look so good.”

“I guess lunch didn’t agree with me.”

“I see… I’ll do better tomorrow.”

“Huh?”

“Tomorrow, lunch together.”

“Right, right.”

“I’ll let you get back to work then.”

The rest of the day kinda dragged, so you were grateful when it finally came to an end. You made your way home, and sighed in relief when you closed the door. You were looking forward to sleeping, kicking your shoes off and making your way inside.

“You shouldn’t believe everything you read on the internet.”

You screamed and jumped, looking over to see someone sitting on your couch. It was Taeyong. Now you were visibly shaking, he had broken into your apartment and you had no idea what he was going to do. Somehow you regained the sense to think straight, and you turned around with the intention to run, only to bump into Johnny. He smiled down at you, gently pushing you back.

“We’re not gonna hurt you.” Johnny cooed. “We’d never do that.”

“How… why…”

“We can’t lose synchronization.” Taeyong spoke as he got up. “So this is necessary.”

Johnny flipped you around and held you in place as Taeyong approached you. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you desperately tried to get away, but soon enough two others approached from your sides, Jaehyun and Jungwoo, boxing you in. As Taeyong stood before you he reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small vial and a needle. You watched as he filled the needle with an unknown substance. Jaehyun wound up grabbing your face and pulling your head to the side to expose your neck.

“Please… please don’t do this!”

“You’ll be fine.” Taeyong assured. “Promise.”

Out of the corner of your eye you could see the needle coming closer, eventually feeling the pinch on your skin. You whimpered, but there was nothing you could do. Jaehyun let you go when it was over but Johnny kept his hold on you. Taeyong reached over and gently caressed your cheek. You were starting to feel sleepy, even though fear still gripped you right.

“Please…”

“Sh, just sleep. I’ll see you soon.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from slipping under, drowning in the darkness with no idea when you’d see the light again.

🖤

You gasped as you came to, your mind trying to catch you up on everything that happened. Taeyong and others broke into your apartment and attacked you, drugged you. Now you had no idea where you were, and as you took in your surroundings you became very confused. Everywhere you looked it was dark, the only light coming from all the little dots. It looked like you were staring up at a starry sky no matter which direction you faced. You slowly stood, seeing the ground was the same, and you were partially afraid you’d sink into this void, but it seemed like you were walking on air.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

You turned around to find Taeyong, who quite literally appeared out of nowhere. He was dressed in white robes, and that’s when you realized you were dressed in a similar fashion.

“Where am I? What is this place? What did you do to me!?”

“I know you have a lot of questions, but now isn’t the time for them.”

“What?”

“Today is just for establishing a connection. We’ll have a proper induction when the time is right.”

“I…”

Taeyong grabbed you and pulled you into his arms. He rocked you gently to the side, rubbing your back and softly humming. You started to feel something climbing up your legs. It felt warm yet cold. You pulled away enough to look down, seeing that this galaxy was rising up and swallowing you. When you tried to move, Taeyong just held you tighter.

“There’s no need to be afraid.”

“What is this!?”

“Salvation.”

You couldn’t move your legs anymore, you felt like you were paralyzed down there. Taeyong wasn’t though, he held you and began laying you back. He was all you could see, the starry skies filling up every other inch of your vision. You held onto him, not wanting him to drop you into whatever this was, but it seemed that he intended to go down with you.

“You can close your eyes if you want.”

Soon enough you felt that same warmth and chill against your back, your grip on Taeyong getting more desperate. It didn’t stop anything, as you felt this substance engulfing your body inch by inch. You couldn’t help but shut your eyes and hold your breath as you felt it at the back of your neck. Once you were completely under you felt like you were floating. You couldn’t feel Taeyong anymore, you seemed to be alone. Whatever this was, it was terrifying, but as you remained in this limbo, you couldn’t help this feeling of peace overtaking you. Even in this darkness, there was some form of comfort you couldn’t explain. You weren’t alone, not really, not anymore.

🖤

You sighed softly as you woke up, laying still in shock over what had happened. You were in your bedroom, tucked in under the covers, safe and sound. You slowly got up, seeing that you had beat your alarm by a few minutes. You turned it off so it wouldn’t bother you, but you stayed in bed for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. You seemed to be okay, you didn’t feel weird or sore. Now you were wondering if everything had just been a dream, including the break in. From what you had read, and telling Kun you were done, maybe your worst fears got the best of you.

Regardless of all that, you actually felt better. A sense of calm and peace swimming within you. It was nice to start the day in a good mood for once. You got up and got ready for work, going about your usual commute. Even the office appeared to be in a nicer light, so you felt that the day would be good. It honestly started off that way, but as the minutes ticked on, you began to feel this headache growing. You thought nothing of it, going to the breakroom to get some medicine, but it didn’t seem to help. Now you were struggling to focus, but you wanted to push through until the end of the day.

“So, are you still up for lunch?”

As always, you kinda forgot about Jason, especially that you had agreed to lunch today. Despite your headache, you weren’t going to rain check on him again, better to get this over with, although you weren’t sure going out would be a good idea.

“Do you think we could order something and eat together in the break room? Gives us more time to enjoy our lunch break.”

“I like that idea. I’ll email you some restaurants and you let me know which one you prefer, it’s on me.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“I insist.”

Jason was kinda a nice person, and today of all days, you were seeing him differently. You always thought maybe he was trying to make a move, and not catching on that you weren’t interested, or not caring, but maybe he was just being nice, genuinely nice. No one else in the office really bothered to socialize with you outside of work inquiries. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make a friend. Although none of that made the headache any better. If anything you swear it was getting worse. Still, you didn’t want to ditch Jason, so you at least told yourself to have lunch, maybe some food will make you feel better, and if not, you’d head home early.

The two of you had the break room to yourselves at lunch time, and the food smelled delicious. As you ate you were starting to feel a bit better, thinking maybe this whole headache was because you skipped breakfast. You made idle chat with Jason, although he did a lot of the talking. Maybe you could get to know him like this, but it didn’t last long. It was probably half way through your lunch when you heard shuffling around the office. You thought someone was back early or had forgotten something when two gentlemen walked into the break room.

“Delivery.”

Jason was confused, whereas you were annoyed. Yuta and Jungwoo were dressed up as delivery boys, having brought some food. They claimed it was for you, but you knew you hadn’t ordered anything.

“I think you guys have the wrong place.” Jason said. “I can show you out.”

“It’s for y/n.” Jungwoo smiled. “Her favorite.”

You hated the fact that it was true, they brought food from your favorite place, and the smell let you know they picked out just the right dish. Still, their presence and all this didn’t make any sense.

“You guys need to leave.” You stated. “You got the wrong place and-”

“We don’t.” Yuta cut in. “Actually we came here for you.”

“Me?”

“Alright, you need to leave.” Jason ordered. “Or I’m calling security.”

“How’s the headache, y/n? Is it getting better?”

“Leave.” You hissed. “Now.”

“We can’t do that.”

“I am calling-”

Jason intended to step out and get security but Yuta wound up jumping him, and getting him into a chokehold. Before you knew it your coworker was on the floor knocked out cold. You had gotten up and backed away from the scene, horrified. To add to everything, your headache had gotten severely worse, and you were having trouble thinking. You grabbed your head, struggling to figure out what to do.

“I know it’s messy.” Jungwoo said. “But Taeyong sent us to get you.”

“Go away… leave… leave me alone…”

“We can’t do that. You’re not okay right now.”

“And who’s… who’s fault is that…”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Yuta added. “So let us help you.”

“No, no… stay back.”

Of course you couldn’t do anything to stop them in your state. The fear and pain were mixing together, keeping you off balance. Before you knew it they both stood before you, tears stung your eyes, and Yuta reached up to wipe them away, holding your gaze.

“Everything’s going to be fine.”

You felt Jungwoo gently pulling up your shirt, his hand touching your skin before you felt a pinch. You looked down just as Jungwoo pulled out the needle. An incoherent mess of words spilled out of your mouth in panic but it did nothing to stop the darkness creeping into your vision. Your legs gave out first and Yuta caught you in his arms. You could vaguely see his lips moving, but no sound made it to your ears. Instead you just closed your eyes, at least glad that the headache would stop for a while.

🖤

When you regained consciousness you found yourself in bed once again. For a moment you thought getting up and going to work and all that was just another dream, but you opened your eyes to confirm you realized you were wrong. You weren’t in your bedroom, instead somewhere else entirely, you were in someone else’s room. You sat up looking around, well aware that wherever you were, this place was fancy. The sheets were soft and the bed was very comfortable. Although most noticeably your headache was completely gone.

“You’re awake.”

You were about to get out of bed when you heard a door open. Taeyong entered the room. He seemed happy to see you but you weren’t.

“Where am I?”

“My home.”

“Yours?”

“This is the Resonance Hotel, penthouse suite, my place.”

“And why am I here?”

“To rest and recover. I should apologize. What happened to you doesn’t usually occur. Although it is a good sign.”

“A brain splitting headache is not a good sign! What the hell did you do to me!”

“Formed a connection. Usually it settles on its own over a couple of days, but the headache is a result of rapid growth.”

“You’re speaking gibberish to me.”

“It’s hard to articulate, but you’ll need to stay with me for a while until things settle.”

“Why!”

“Because I am the core, and your mental stability is very important. As long as you’re by me, you’ll be fine.”

“You kidnapped me.”

“I could sense your distress and sent two of my boys to collect you.”

“Kidnap.”

“If that’s how you want to see it.”

“No, that’s what you did, and I refuse to be your captive.”

You got out of bed and stormed past Taeyong, figuring the door to leave was down the path he came. Now that you knew you were in a hotel your surroundings made sense. When you left the bedroom you found a hallway, and you just picked a direction. You wound up in the living room, seeing some of the others playing games. They all turned to you, confused, and a few made attempts to stand, but Taeyong stopped them.

“Leave her. The elevator to the lobby is down that way.”

Whether he lied or not, you went that way, figuring you’d find a way out yourself eventually. Taeyong didn’t follow, but one of the gamer boys did, Haechan. He didn’t say anything but his presence was creepy enough. You ignored him though, continuing your path and determined to get away from all of them. You could already feel the bits of a headache coming on, but you ignored them. When you saw the elevator you were relieved, hitting the button and stepping inside. You tried to shut the door quickly but Haechan made it in with you. He gave you a proud smirk.

“I’ll escort you.”

You stuck to a corner, letting Haechan hit one of the only buttons he could, the down arrow. He kept his back to you, but you were still weary of the whole thing. The display only showed that the elevator was moving down, and you could feel it. Although you definitely had no idea how many floors this hotel had, and every moment that passed you felt the headache getting worse.

“Oh, you might want this.”

Haehcan turned back and held out your phone. You felt so stupid for simply walking out without thinking about it. You took it back without a word, seeing that you were already shaking. It was getting hard to think, like before, but maybe it was just the panic from the whole situation, or feeling trapped in this little box with a stranger. You certainly felt like you couldn’t breath, sinking down to the floor, grabbing your head. Every second that passed made it worse and worse you felt your head was going to explode.

“Sta… stop… stop, stop, stop.”

Haechan hit the stop button, and even though it didn’t fix anything, you certainly weren’t feeling any worse. You had no idea what this was, but you wanted it gone, you wanted it to stop.

“You made it pretty far, I’m impressed.”

“What’s… what’s happening…”

“The connection has to settle, and you need to be with Taeyong for that to go smoothly. You’d be in worse pain if I wasn’t here to help, even if just a little.”

The receptionist down at the lobby called in to make sure if everything was alright. Haechan confirmed that you were both fine, and then he hit the up arrow button. You didn’t want to go back up, and even if you didn’t really understand your situation, that seemed to be your only option. The pressure in your head started to fade away, and you felt more in control of yourself, but it didn’t change your destination. You felt better by the time the elevator doors opened, seeing you were back in the penthouse. You didn’t move though, you didn’t want to, but you couldn’t stay there either.

“Come on, let’s get you back to bed.”

Haechan helped you to your feet, keeping his arms around you as he walked with you. Those you passed by didn’t say anything, and you wound up back in what you believed to be Taeyong’s room. He was waiting for you, sitting on the bed reading a book.

“Are you alright?”

“Asshole.”

“Some sleep should do you good.”

“How long are you going to keep me here?”

“It depends, but given how far you went just now, perhaps a day or two.”

“Excuse me!”

“It’s already pretty late. You should sleep and I’ll have something brought over later for dinner.”

It was clear he wasn’t gonna give you any answers, so you might as well just get some rest. Taeyong wasn’t gonna move, so you laid down as far from him as possible, keeping your back to him. By now your headache was gone, so at least there was that. Although you didn’t actually want to go to sleep, you’ve had weird dreams about Taeyong before, you had no idea what would happen with him so near. So you were just quiet, more or less pretending to sleep, trying to figure out how you could get out of here.

Later on food was brought over and Taeyong gently shook you to wake you. He didn’t seem to know you hadn’t fallen asleep as he was busy with his book. You were hungry, but you weren’t sure you could trust the food. Still, if they were going to do anything to you, they would have done it by now. So you just ate a bit, enough to get you through the night. Taeyong didn’t say anything in that regard, simply excusing himself for a moment. You thought your headache would return the moment he left the room, but you were absolutely fine. That made you realize that maybe this was all some elaborate trick.

Something was done to you the other night, and that must have caused the headache. It didn’t get better until you were here. And on the elevator, you weren’t alone, Haechan could have done something to you as well. Perhaps if you could leave without any of them knowing, none of them could actually stop you. Since it was late now, the windows revealing the sun had gone down, you just needed to wait for everyone else to fall asleep. That was the plan, and you just needed to wait for your moment. When Taeyong returned he got ready for bed, telling you to do so as well, and you complied with that.

Now you both were lying in bed in the dark, and you kept your back to him. All you had to do was not fall asleep. You were tired, but determined, so that helped you stay awake. Your mind would wander, trying to find anything to distract yourself with. After what felt like enough time you reached over for your phone on the nightstand, carefully checking the time, it was one in the morning. You slowly sat up, not wanting to make too much noise. When you looked over at Taeyong he seemed sound asleep, and you carefully whispered his name, checking to see if he’d wake up, but he didn’t respond.

You continued to move cautiously as you got out of bed and made your way out of the room. Even if the place was big, any sound could wake the whole place, so you had to remain quiet. You could more or less see the way you needed to go, careful not to make the floors creak too bad as you walked around. After an eternity you made it to the elevator, hitting the button. You felt completely fine, adding to your theory that they were messing with you somehow. You stepped into the elevator and quickly closed the doors behind you, letting out a breath of relief when you started moving down.

Slowly, but surely, the headache began to appear. It wasn’t bad like before, and you certainly felt that you had gone farther than before. This didn’t make sense, but maybe whatever they did had lingering effects. You could push through this, it wasn’t bad, and you were determined to get out. When the elevator doors opened you stumbled out, quick to lean against the nearest wall for support. You took a few steps before you needed to sit down, sliding down to the floor. You took some deep breaths, trying to focus your breathing and your thoughts. If you could get home, things would get better.

You were grateful no one came across you like this, cause you had no idea what you would say, but you did start to feel better. In fact you could feel this headache starting to pass. It brought a smile to your face, knowing you were right. You looked at your phone to see how you’d get home from this place, when it was suddenly snatched from your hands. Your first thought was you’d have to chase after some thief, but you looked up to see Taeyong.

“I see you’re feeling better.”

You swallowed nervously, not sure what to do in this situation. Taeyong browsed your phone for a minute before turning it off and putting it in his pocket. Of course your headache was completely gone now, but you refused to believe it was him.

“Let’s go back upstairs.”

You scrambled to your feet with the intent to run, but Taeyong quickly caught you and put a hand over your mouth. He dragged you back over to the elevator, not letting you go until the doors closed. You tried to reach for the buttons but he held you back.

“That’s enough, stop it.”

“What the hell are you doing to me!”

You were frustrated, scared, so completely lost you burst into tears. You had so many questions, but no answers, and everything around you just seemed impossible. You collapsed to the floor, crying into your hands. After a moment Taeyong sat down next to you, pulling you into his arms, gently rocking you and rubbing your head while he held you.

“It’s okay, let it all out, it’s okay.”

“What’s going on… please… please just tell me…”

“You don’t have to be afraid.”

“I am…”

“Sh, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

When the elevator doors opened Taeyong tried to get you up, but you wouldn’t budge. He found your actions cute, so you both stayed put. The doors closed giving you both some privacy.

“You’re coming along nicely. You actually made it to the lobby.”

“Asshole…”

“I’m not, but why are you so mean to yourself?”

“Huh?”

“That coworker of yours, Jaymson or whatever, always hitting on you and making you uncomfortable, yet you think he deserves a chance?”

“What?”

“Or your job in general, working so hard and not getting recognized or a promotion. You’re doing so much for a company that doesn’t care for you.”

“I don’t… what are you talking about?”

“You know you deserve love, right? Actual, proper, love and care, not whatever it is you’ve been getting from those around you.”

“…”

“Even though you were shy you still came out with us, and you had a fun time too. You don’t have to feel like that once or twice every few months, it should be everyday. We’re here for you, and we can, we will, give you everything you could need. That’s what NCT is all about.”

“My… my head…”

“Most people connect on the surface, sharing memories and interests, but I have a way to make those connections much deeper, I can make them real. I’m in your head, and you’re in mine, and all the others. I suppose the simplest term would be telepathy, but it’s much bigger than that.”

“You’re in… my head… my dreams…”

“Dreams, such a beautiful canvas. There’s so much we have yet to show you.”

“Why… why me… why did you do this…”

“Because you wanted it.”

“No, no I… I didn’t… I don’t…”

“Even with just a small, temporary, connection you opened up to us, our compatibility was much higher than I’ve ever seen with anyone else. Deep down you knew what we were, what we’d give you, and you wanted it. Of course I saw you got scared, and if that grew too much we’d never be able to establish a true connection, even if you wanted it later on. I did this for you, because I know this is what you wanted, what you need.”

“You… you’re not… you’re not human…”

“Perhaps I’m not, I’m certainly greater than one.”

“But… but the headaches…”

“I’m sorry, I should have taken into consideration how well we bonded the first time. It’d surely mean you’d be far more sensitive to the connection process than others. It should settle soon enough, and then you’ll be back to normal, well, better than before.”

“Then why… why you…”

“I told you, I’m the core, the center, the beginning. Everyone connects with me first, and then I can open the door to everything else.” Taeyong kissed your head. “You really do need to rest.”

“I don’t… I don’t wanna go there… in my dreams…”

“I can do that.”

Taeyong got you to your feet, walking with you back to the bedroom. You didn’t say much else, still processing the unbelievable nonsense he had told you, but you were also too tired to think. Taeyong tucked you in under the covers, carefully getting in himself. He gave you your space, although he stayed up to make sure you fell asleep, promising you’d sleep well. Whether you believed him or not, exhaustion was taking a hold of you, so you closed your eyes to get some much needed rest.

🖤

In the morning you found yourself warmly wrapped up in Taeyong’s arms, seeing that he was deep in sleep. You had slept fine, no dreams at all. Although it made you feel kind of empty.

“Afternoon…”

“Huh?”

“Is it not?” Taeyong peeked an eye open. “Is it actually morning?”

“I’m used to waking up early…”

“Alright. I’ll text someone to come take you for breakfast.”

“I can’t leave?”

“Given last night, not yet.”

“Right…”

“Ya.”

“Hm?”

“After lunch you should be alright to go, I’ll have someone drive you home.”

“Okay…”

After a moment there was a knock at the door. Doyoung peeked his head in, gesturing for you to come with him. Taeyong had already gone back to sleep, and you quietly made your exit. You joined Doyoung and the others at the breakfast table. You were still weary about the food though.

“Come on, this stuff is the best.” Shotaro said. “You have to try some.”

“Uh…”

“Trust me, open wide.”

You almost felt like a slight compulsion to do as he said, carefully leaning over to have a bite of what he was offering. It was good, as expected, and it made your stomach growl. A few chuckled, but nothing was really said. You would be leaving anyway, so you might as well enjoy the food. Shotaro was more than happy to feed you other things, petting your head every time you had a bite from him.

“Taeyong said you should be alright to go home after lunch.” Doyoung repeated. “So what do you want to do? You can go back to bed if you want.”

“I should really call in sick from my job first.”

“And after that?” Mark questioned. “How about some games?”

“Games?”

“You know we are a gaming company. We’ve got great VR set ups here. We could play some Among Us, Mini Golf, or some single player stuff.”

“Uh…”

“It’ll be lots of fun.” Chenle assured. “Trust me.”

“Sure… we can play some games.”

“Yes!”

After breakfast, and calling off from work, you joined the others in their game room, seeing how big it was, and how the only danger from wearing a VR set would probably be hitting each other. You let them pick the games, just mainly tagging along, but you did have fun. It was a good way to pass the time, since before you knew it, it was lunch time, and you could go home. You thought of possibly seeing Taeyong before leaving, but you didn’t want to bother him. Although you were nervous about getting into the elevator. Taeil assured you that you’d be okay, and if you weren’t feeling well you could back.

The trip down was fine, no headaches at all. It was the same for the trip home. You made it back in one piece, thanking Taeil for the ride. Once you were back in your apartment you felt more at ease, going to your own bedroom to lay down. It really wasn’t as comfy as Taeyong’s bed though. You had a while before bed anyway so you busied yourself with chores, somewhat pondering what has become of your life. You weren’t entirely sure you could believe what Taeyong had told you last night, but you were trying to make sense of things.

Although in the end you weren’t entirely sure you could go back to them, regardless of how much you enjoyed their company. Being drugged and kidnapped weren’t qualities you should have in friends. That also meant it was probably time you really did better for yourself, making friends and finding a good person to be with. It was certainly a long and weird journey to reach that conclusion, but it was for the best in the long run. You showered and got into bed, ready to face another, but with a whole new outlook on life.

🖤

No one really seemed to notice your absence, but you weren’t offended by that. Work really keeps you busy, and the same could be said about them, so one is bound to miss things. Especially the quiet girl. Of course only Jason was the one to notice, and you were actually worried about what he was going to say.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Uh… yeah… sorry about lunch the other day. I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t worry about it. I get your headache was killing you and you had to head home early. I’ve been there.”

“Yeah… still sorry…”

“Well, if you’re up for it, company dinner tonight. You in?”

“Uh… yeah, actually, I’d love to go.”

“Awesome. I’ll see you then.”

The people around you were the ones you could connect with, and it was about time you made an effort. You weren’t exactly planning to leave this job anytime soon. At the end of the day you gathered your things like everyone else, following along for dinner. You heard a few whispering among themselves, rather surprised and annoyed you’d be joining them, probably because they weren’t used to your present. You wound up at the end of the table, Jason at your side to make sure you were kept in the conversations which you appreciated. You didn’t drink, but the others did, and Jason surely did.

He wound up with an arm around you, making all kinds of jokes, some you were sure weren’t appropriate. Still, by the end of the night it seemed everyone had a good time. It wasn’t entirely the best for you but there were moments, and the food was delicious. You all saw your boss, and then everyone began going their separate ways. You were well aware Jason was in no condition to be alone, and he did hold onto you. He began mumbling compliments and thank yous for helping him out, but you figured it’s what a friend would do.

You helped him get a cab, making sure he’d be getting home safely before sending him off. It was pretty late out by then, later than you’ve ever been out before. At least the place was close to your job, so it was only a few extra minutes on your commute. You went over to your usual bus stop, patiently waiting. The streets were mostly empty now, but the quiet and cool air was pretty nice. You spent your time on your phone, checking the bus time and browsing socials. You didn’t pay much attention to the cars passing by, and there didn’t seem to be anyone else to join you in your wait. So you didn’t really notice the four vehicles parking nearby.

“You are unbelievable!”

You looked up to see Sungchan storming up to you, only for Johnny to grab him and hold him back. You were quite surprised to see them here, let alone so late at night. Although it wasn’t just them who had shown up.

“Sungchan, calm down.”

“After everything, they’re just gonna leave!”

“No, no, no, that’s not going to happen. They just need some guidance.”

“What are you guys doing?” You questioned. “Did you see me while you were passing by?”

“That’s funny.” Ten chuckled. “I didn’t think you’d be friendly with us.”

“What?”

“I thought you decided we couldn’t be friends. Cause friends don’t kidnap and drug you, that’s no fun.”

“How do you…”

“I see someone still doesn’t believe me.”

Taeyong came up from behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders, startling you. When you looked back up at him, you saw this look of disappointment on his face.

“What are you…”

“We’re connected, remember. You, me, all of us. So I know, we know, every pretty little thought that goes through your head. I believed after our lovely chat the other day you’d come to realize that we’re your friends, we’re good people, and that you don’t need anyone else.”

“I appreciate the sentiment but-”

“Clearly. I was wrong. Instead I’ve led you down a path of self-harm. You willingly went out with all those people, put up with their hurtful words and looks, the harassment from that Jaime guy as well.”

“…”

“That’s on me for letting you go too soon, and for that I must ask forgiveness. From you, and from my brothers. You’re young and new to all this, a child lost in the world. We’re here for you y/n, in every way imaginable.”

“I’m alright.” You stood up, stepping away from Taeyong. “Really. I enjoyed my time and-”

“We all know you’re lying.” Jungwoo said. “Don’t do that to yourself.”

“You guys, have a great thing going for yourselves, but it’s not for me. I appreciate that you’ve helped me grow, and that you’re worried about me, but I’m alright.”

“You’re not.” Kun stated. “Not by a long shot.”

“Look, I am trying to be nice here, but you all showing up like this and talking to me this way. It’s borderline harassment. I want nothing to do with your group, or you guys. So leave me alone or I will get the police involved.”

“Try it.”

You rolled your eyes and intended to walk away. At this point you might as well get a cab and get yourself home. Although some of the boys blocked your path, and when you tried to walk another way, more cut you off. They had you surrounded.

“I am calling the police!”

“Go for it.” Jaemin chuckled. “I’d love to see this pretty little girl try to use a phone.”

“What the…”

You ignored them, trying to keep calm despite the fear creeping up. You grabbed your phone, typing in the numbers, but for some reason you couldn’t hit the call button. Your hand started shaking, a sudden headache coming on. For a moment you lost your balance and stumbled a bit, Lucas catching you before you fell, but you quickly stepped away from him.

“Don’t touch me!”

“I thought you were calling the police?”

“I… I am…”

“Our little girl wouldn’t do that.” Yuta teased. “She has no reason to.”

“I do!”

“I don’t think she knows how to use that thing anyway.”

“Wa… what?”

You looked down at your phone, seeing it glitch. You tapped at the screen but in that state it was useless. You were desperately trying to get it to work, also pushing back this headache, and in your clumsy state you wound up dropping it. You tried to reach for it only to watch it get crushed under a boot.

“You didn’t need that.” Jaehyun said. “Did you now?”

“You son of a-”

You lunged at Jaehyun, wanting to hit him for his actions, but he stepped back, and in your state you wound up collapsing onto all fours. You were breathing heavily, trying to regain back any sense of control, and sense of self. But it was all too difficult.

“Get… get out… of my… my… head… please…”

“We’re connected now.” Taeyong reminded. “There’s no undoing that. You, me, all of us. We’re one. We move as one. We live as one. We think as one.”

You shook your head. “Get… out… leave me… alone…”

“Why would we do that? You don’t want to be alone, do you?”

“… please…”

“I know it all seems so scary now, but we’re doing this for you.” Doyoung assured. “You don’t have to be alone, unwanted, or unloved, ever again.”

“… no… not like… this…”

“I understand you can’t see the bigger picture right now, but you will. One day. I promise.”

“It’s late.” Renjun reminded. “We should go home.”

“Agreed. We don’t want her getting sick.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, dripping onto the floor. You had no idea what was going on, but fear gripped you tight. You had to run, you had to fight. Perhaps that rush of adrenaline was all you needed. Someone helped you up to your feet, and you just elbowed them in the face. Maybe it was also your mild state of delusion that gave you strength, and so the small moment of confusion gave you clarity, and a chance to run. You had no idea where you were going but you just needed to find people, someone, anyone, who could help you.

“No one is going to help you!” Jisung shouted. “There’s only us!”

You screamed and collapsed to the ground, holding your head. You felt like your brain was on fire, and there was nothing you could do to put it out. You continued screaming, letting the pain engulf you, hoping maybe your cries would be heard, and help would could.

“We said no one is going to help you.” Haechan knelt down at your side. “It’s just us out here, and in there.”

He playfully tapped your head, and you continued to scream, your tears blurring your vision. Eventually you felt hands grab you, lifting you up and holding you there. The headache began to subside, but your throat was sore, and you felt so drained. You couldn’t escape, and there was no hope for you.

“There is hope sweetie. We’re here for you, we’ve got you.” Taeil caressed your cheek. “We’ll start over okay, a clean slate. Everything will be alright, you’ll see.”

“Liar… you’re all… liars… psychos… monsters!”

“No, no, no, we’re far from that.” Taeyong cooed. “We’re basically the definition of perfection. You’re one of us now, you belong with us, you belong to us. We’re so happy to have you cause you’re perfect, just like us. We’ll make you perfect.”

“… no… no, no, no!”

You didn’t care that you’d scream yourself hoarse, that your thrashing would only further exhaust you. If this was it, then you were gonna go down fighting. You didn’t expect to break free, and you also didn’t expect Taeyong to grab your chin and hold you still, his eyes staring deeply at yours.

“Let me save you some trouble. Fighting will get you nowhere. We’re all one.” Taeyong pressed his head against yours. “One mind, one being. To exist as one we must have perfect synchronization, and absolutely no disruptions. You’re still new to all this and resistant, so you’re the disruption. A disruption we will fix. So it’s far better you give up and give in to us, to me. You’re not gonna win no matter what you do. Your thoughts, your will, your sense of self, are mine now. My will is rooted deep in you, and you can’t ever get me out. So you either take a deep breath and accept the bliss I will give you, or I will break you, in every sense of the word, in every way you can think of.”

“Is this… how you… treat… those… you care… about…”

“We have to be on the same page first, baby. So what’s it going to be?”

There was nothing to think about. So you just closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You were exhausted, but an answer had to be given. Slowly you opened your eyes, once again meeting Taeyong’s gaze.

“I hate-”

“No. No, you don’t. You’re not capable of hate, baby girl. Trust me. There is nothing but love here, from us to you, and from you to us. Okay?”

“… uh…”

“I know you’re tired but you can say it, I love you.”

“I…”

“Go on.”

“…”

“It’s okay, we’ll work on that.” Taeyong kissed your head. “Let’s get you home.”

(II)

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