#and when my friend was in the hospital 2 years ago | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uglyducklingofthe2000s · 3 months

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A Sinner Deserves Their Saint - LN

Summary: Lando and Max's childhood friend went down a path that neither could stop her from going down. Last time Lando saw her, he was certain he'd never see her again.

Themes: Drug addiction/abuse, overdose

Important: There's not going to be a part 2

2021

Lando groans as his phone rings. He should've put it on do not disturb.

"Hello?" Lando grunts then frowning when he hears panting.

"Lan, I-I don't know what happened. She was fine-she was the life of the party. She disappeared and then we-we looked for her an-"

"Max! What the fuck are you talking about?" Lando questions cutting in.

"Y/n took something-again! She took something again and she wasn't breathing. We're in the hospital now but they're not telling us anything. I didn't know who to call...they just keep saying she's being seen to." Max splutters out clearly still in shock and looking to rely on the one person who might understand his panic.

Y/n had started doing drugs recreationally about two years ago, at first she said it was just for the buzz on nights out and for a while that seemed to be the case. Then they started catching her do lines when she'd wake up and she explained it as just needing a pick me up.

The first time she took it too far and landed herself in hospital was 3 months ago. This is the 4th time she'd ended up in hospital.

"I'm on my way." Lando states after managing to get which hospital out of Max.

And an hour later he found himself in the hospital finding his shellshocked best friend.

"Any updates?"

"Uhh...it was amphetamine and mephedrone. Her-Her heart stopped and they got it going again but...they have her in the ICU and only family can see her. They're talking with the doctors."

Lando felt like the world was caving in around him, memories of them all as kids at karting. Innocent kids who had the world to claim as their own.

The two young men end up holding each other tightly in a hug.

"I'll drive us home. We'll come back and try to see her tomorrow."

They did try. They tried many times. Sometimes both of them, sometimes Lando had to go to races and work but Max kept going back.

Eventually, y/n was deemed well enough to leave and while her family wanted to force her to rehab. She wouldn't accept it and their options were to give her a place to at least sleep and let them know she is alive or to kick her out and risk finding out through a call from the police that they don't have a daughter to worry about anymore.

But after a month, Lando finally gets to see her.

She may not be detained by a rehab but her parents have done well to keep her locked in the house.

"Well if it isn't another face here to lecture and guilt trip me." Y/n scoffs curled up by her window looking almost as if she's mimicking Rapunzel locked in her tower away from the world. Only in her case it to keep her from hurting herself.

Though he'd bet she has stashed drugs to keep herself from smashing the window for her freedom.

"I just want to know you're ok." Lando states, having been warned she was in no good mood as of recent and he'd be unlikely to receive a warm welcome. "I want to help you, if I can, y/n."

"You can't." She snaps sharp eyes glaring at him. "And even if you could. I don't want your help. I don't want your pity. I don't want you to stand there and act like I'm unhappy doing drugs."

Something about her not realising how much she's hurting the people around her boils his blood in a way he never expected to feel with her.

"No. You're perfectly happy dying! You're happy making everyone around you miserably because they love you and you want to fuck up your life for drugs." Lando spits back, now having no sympathy. Though in his gut, his stomach is twisting.

Y/n seems to have nothing to say to that, returning to her balled up position leaning her forehead against a window.

"I didn't come here to fight, y/n." Lando sighs in defeat since he really just wanted to see her, to hold her and feel with his own hands that she's alive.

"I don't want you here, Lando." Y/n states with a voice that's void of emotion, icy is warmer than her tone right now.

So her leaves and he decides in that moment that if she doesn't want him there and she's made it very clear she has no interest in improving her own life. He'll just wait to attend her funeral in a few months. Her family would want him there.

Present time

"Do you know who I saw?" Max asks randomly as he sits getting ready to do a stream. Not quite live yet.

"Who?" Lando hums looking at his phone.

"Y/n."

The name makes the air around them still. Max knows Lando was so hurt by her reckless behaviour and heartless words.

"She's clean." He adds making Lando hum. "She apologised for everything. Especially the last time I saw her."

Y/n had been just as harsh if not worse to Max than she was to Lando.

"Did she seem happy?" Lando asks genuinely wanting to know.

"She seemed healthy. I don't know about happy...she started crying when she saw me. Hugged me pretty hard and we talked for a few hours." Max admits then turning. "Said she missed us."

"She only has herself to blame for that." Lando shrugs coldly. It still hurts and he'd prepared himself to never see herself again along with being ready to accept that he'd probably attend her funeral. "It's good she's clean and healthy though."

"You should go see her." Max states earning a sigh since Lando knew it was coming. "Lando...the two of you were closer than I ever was with her, don't tell me you don't want to see her."

"It's not like it's that simple, it is?" Lando frowns shaking his head. "It's great, I'm happy that she's better. That she's realised how much she was fucking up. But it's not that simple is it?"

"It'd be a lot more simply if you'd agree to see her...she asked after you, said she'd finally gone to rehab-"

"You're late to stream. I'm going home." Lando mutters standing up from the bed and moving to bump fists as a goodbye while Max nods.

He knew the risk of bringing y/n up. He'd spoken about her before one or twice since Lando last saw her and it was never received warmly. It wasn't as if he was updating the F1 driver, but more just reliving old memories or commenting on how she may be.

The next week is spent with Lando's brain fogged up by y/n.

Eventually he decides he can't go into a race weekend not having clarity about her. So he calls her parents who give him her number and he calls her. Feeling his heart thud hard.

He followed up calling her directly after calling her parents so she has no warning of his call.

"Hello?"

"Y/n?" Lando mumbles almost not recognising her voice or feeling surreal in hearing it.

"That's me. Who's this?"

"It's...Lando. I got your number from your parents."

"Lando? Oh I wasn't-Max...he spoke to you-I told him not to mention it. You shouldn't feel obligated to speak to me because I spoke to him." Y/n sighs sounding guilty about the matter.

"Where are you?"

"Um...I'm food shopping. Why?"

"I want to see you. Know for certain if Max was telling the truth."

"Oh-Okay. I uhh...I can come to your place from here if you want?"

"No. Send me your address, I'll come to you if you're food shopping." Lando states quickly then clearing his throat. "Just send me your address on this number, please."

"Ok." Y/n mumbles then clearing her throat. "I'll send it over. And see you soon."

Lando's heart is beating up his lungs from how hard it's beating. But he did it and he's going to see y/n. A woman who he's refused to talk about but has never been far from his mind is finally going to reappear in his life.

He was really certain he'd be attending his funeral, he was always just waiting for the call or message informing that she'd finally succumb to her demons.

She sends her address which isn't too far from her parents house, probably then who found it for her. Maybe a step of building trust to prove that she's made progress and they want her to know that they believe she can do it on her own.

There's some shame in Lando thinking that it's an error on their part.

Less than an hour after the phone call he finds himself seated in her living room. Her getting him a glass of water on his accepting of the offer for a drink.

"So you got yourself together." Lando comments as she returns, looking just as nervous as she has since she let him in.

She looks younger than when he last saw her. Her face not so hollowed, he'd not really noticed how unhealthy she'd got with not eating thanks to drugs pushing any hunger to the side.

"You look good, y/n." Lando comments while she manages a sad smile. "Don't look at me like that, y/n. I'm not the one who died."

"No, and it wasn't your parents who signed a DNR after the last time it happened."

"A DNR?"

"I went into a coma, no brain activity for a few days about 8 months after the last time I saw you. They told the doctors if I flatlined again to not resuscitate." Y/n sighs then clearing her throat when her eyes tear up. "I woke up after two weeks. Thankfully I was through most of my withdrawal."

"Is that when you got clean?"

"Yeah, well...I was sick of being the worst person everyone could think of and I think when parents decide their own child is not worth saving, that's when you've got to realise how much damage you're causing. I'm just sorry I didn't listen to you, Lando."

"You don't need to be sorry, you were...not thinking right." Lando shrugs then sighing. "I'm just glad I wasn't right about thinking that I'd never see you alive again after that day."

Y/n seems to pale at that statement, tears filling her eyes again before she blinks a few times.

"Do you know what's overdue?" Lando asks trying to lighten the mood.

"What?

"A hug, give me a hug." Lando smiles making her smile and move closer, hugging him tightly as he wraps his arms around her. "I've missed you so much, y/n."

"I missed you too. But I think being sober and realising what I'd let myself lose was for the better."

Lando sighs holding her tightly his chin resting on her shoulder as her looks at her with a tired expression.

"I think my mum was actually angrier at me with the way I treated you and Max than over the fact I was doing drugs." Y/n smiles softly while leaning to rest her head on top of his. "I really let someone good go."

"I've got a race this weekend, you should come out with me." Lando states since seeing her, now he really just wants to reconcile.

"I'd like that." Y/n nods then biting her lip a little.

Y/n is actually vaguely recognised from earlier fans of Lando's career. She was just as actively supportive over him and before that finally overdose that ended their friendship, she was still very much a big person in his life.

It never really got out what happened as to why she disappeared, but her reappearance has gained attention from fans. Especially since Lando was holding her hand so tightly his knuckles were white.

"Feels weird." Y/n mumbles as Lando does the track walk with her. "Like I don't belong in this part of your life anymore."

"Well I feel like you do." Lando shrugs since he knows all that is happening is her anxiety is getting the better of her, forcing emotions to surface. "And I want you here."

Y/n looks at him unsure of sharing his certainty.

"You treat me better than I deserve." Y/n whispers making him shake his head at her.

"You deserve the world, y/n." Lando states deciding that if there's any time to get honest with her it's now since the team isn't with him on the track walk, he wanted to do it just with y/n. "I thought we were going to get married one day before everything happened."

"Y-You did?" Y/n chokes out earning a nod. "We weren't even dating."

"We weren't, but it was sort of inevitable that we were going to get there one day. Anyway, don't act like we didn't sleep together." Lando shrugs feeling more and more confident about it since she's not denying him or saying there was no chance because the idea disgusts her. "Maybe we could...try?"

They actually slept together as part of a promise to each other, if Lando and herself hadn't lost their virginity as part of celebrating a race win. They both told themselves that it was a matter of sticking with someone they trusted for their first times. But anyone could debate about their truth feelings and intentions with each other.

"Sleeping together again, dating or marriage?" Y/n teases apparently somewhat settled in her nerves. "I could go on a date, but I feel like trusting you to plan a date comes with risks."

"I could plan a date with you, no problem."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"What ideas you got rattling around in there?"

"I'm not telling you, that will spoil the fun." Lando smirks then looking at her for a moment, noticing her expression. "What?"

"Just hoping you've improved in bed since we slept together, or one of us is going to be very embarrassed."

"I mean you weren't the best virgin in the world."

"I know, but I also know I've significantly improved on my game."

"You're unbelievable, how am I supposed to trust that's true?" Lando challenges watching her jaw drop while he laughs knowing that she's not really offended at the suggests.

"Guess we may need to get on a date then find out how good we are pretty soon." Y/n hums making Lando smirk a little.

"Still proving you're the smartest and most rational person I know."

"Because I'm saying we should go on a date and have sex? Not sure that's quite true." Y/n laughs before she finds herself picked up into a hug and spun around as they walk.

He only carries her a few steps before capturing her in a kiss that actually she wasn't expecting but she's certainly not mad about.

"Alright, well your kissing game has improved." Y/n teases earning an eye roll.

"Yours could use to work, but I'll help you with that."

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holly-the-trash-writer · 1 year

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Guilt

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Y/n lies unconscious in a hospital bed while Spencer drowns in guilt. You had felt that Spencer was cheating on you with Maeve and were going to stay with someone else before you got shot. Finding this out causes Spencer to snap and lash out at one of his closest friends.

Part 2

Word Count: 2,866

A/N: This has been a WIP for years! It was apart of a series with my own OC but I decided to change it to a Reader fic. The amount of WIPs I have is ridiculous!!!!!

Spencer sat at Y/n's hospital bed in silence. Tears were continuously streaming down his face, his breaths were shaky and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your unmoving face.

There was a tube coming out of your mouth to help your breathing. So many different wires were coming out of your body and attached to multiple beeping machines.

He was holding your right hand in both of his, your skin wasn’t freezing cold but it was colder than he prefers it to be.

You had only came out of surgery half an hour ago but they won’t know if it was successful until you wake up. Which could be between the next few seconds and never.

Never was something Spencer was trying his hardest not to think about.

There was so much he needed to tell you. So many things he had to say.

The last time you were together you had fought. You told him that he’s been speaking to Maeve too much and that he's been ignoring you. Spending more time with this woman.

Spencer had told you that you were being ridiculous and then you had to go on a case and Spencer never got the chance to talk anymore about it.

You had been furious at him and now Spencer was angry at himself as well.

He had called you ridiculous for coming to him about your feelings. This resulted in you refusing to be his partner in the field. Which led to you going with Morgan. Which ended in you getting shot.

This is when Spencer’s brain began connecting things that didn’t match up.

If he had listened to you he could’ve gotten you out of harm’s way.

Not speaking to Maeve meant you wouldn’t have fought and you never would’ve been shot.

He was supposed to protect you.

It should be him lying there. Not his sweet girl.

There was a knock on the door and Spencer barely reacted as Garcia and Emily came in.

“Hey, how is she doin’?” Emily asked softly.

Spencer turned his head a little towards them, “She... uh.” His voice cracked and he cleared it before trying again, “They said everything went well but we won’t know the damage until she wakes up.”

Garcia's eyes watered as she stared at your body. “When will she wake up?”

Spencer's eyes filled with tears, a sad smile forming as he squeezed your hand, “When she’s ready.”

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out to see that it was Maeve.

Again.

Along with the twenty missed calls from Maeve.

He rubbed his eyes before pressing answer, “Spencer Reid.”

“Oh my God. Spencer, I’ve been trying to reach you all day. Are you alright?”

This statement didn’t sit well in his stomach.

If you miss an appointment with your doctor, they don’t leave twenty missed calls on your phone.

They wait for you to reschedule.

He glanced at the other two women who were trying their best not to listen in. Although Garcia was looking particularly peeved about something.

Then he glanced down at you and any words he was going to say to Maeve turned to ash in his mouth. He felt sick.

Now he understood what you meant.

“Now, isn’t a good time. I’ll call you next week.” He didn’t wait for a response before he ended the call and put the phone back in his pocket.

Garcia shifted uncomfortably, “Was... was that her?”

“Who?” Spencer’s brain wasn’t even functioning at 20%. He couldn’t think things through clearly.

“Doctor Maeve.” Garcia mocked.

Spencer frowned, “Yes. Why?”

Emily gave Penelope a pointed look.

A look that did not go unnoticed by Spencer, “What? What is it?”

Emily put her hands up in a calming gesture, as if trying to approach a cornered animal. “Spencer. You must understand, we don’t mean to pry but Y/n spoke to Morgan and he didn’t know what to do so he told Garcia, who told me.”

Spencer rubbed his eyes for the fourth time in ten minutes, he did not have the energy for this, “Told you what? What are you talking about?” Spencer was getting agitated now. Why can’t they just tell him? He hated not getting to the point.

“Well, Y/n came to Morgan two weeks ago and was quite upset.”

Spencer frowned as he looked at you again. Two weeks ago? You didn’t seem upset two weeks ago.

“She had some concerns about this doctor that you’ve been speaking to.” Emily explained.

Garcia huffed, “She told Derek that she had suspicions that you were cheating on her.” She spoke with daggers in her eyes.

Spencer froze.

What?!

He stiffened in his seat as he stared at his unconscious fiancé in shock.

You thought he was cheating on you?

You might never wake up again and your last thoughts of him would be the fight and thoughts of his, supposed, adultery.

How?! How could you think that he could even look at anyone that wasn’t you?

“I. Would. Never.” He punctuated every damn word so they got his point, trying to blink away the fresh batch of tears that filled his eyes.

“She planned to stay with Morgan and Savannah for a couple of days-" Garcia told him.

Spencer tore his eyes away from the bed to gawk at Garcia, “She what?”

Emily placed her hand on Garcia’s arm and spoke next, “Yesterday, Derek had... overheard one of your conversations with the doctor and he spoke to Y/n about it. So, she decided she would go and stay with him for a few days to sort out her head before coming to you about it.”

Spencer was furious. Not only did you think he was cheating on you, half of the team now suspected him of it too and no one even had the decency to ask him. And what was this phone call that was so damning that Derek had to run and tell his fiancé? Why didn’t Derek just ask him instead of almost ruining his relationship without him even knowing about it!

Spencer was shaking with rage. He stood abruptly from his chair and turned to the girls, pointing to Y/n’s bed he ordered out, “Stay with her.” before he stormed outside to head to the waiting room.

He saw red. He couldn’t think of anything except for the anger he felt.

Quickly turning the corner he saw the rest of the team sitting and talking as if nothing was wrong.

J.J noticed him first and stood up, Hotch, Rossi and Morgan following suit.

“Spence, any news?” she asked gently.

Spencer didn’t even hear her; never slowed his pace either. As soon as Morgan was within arm’s reach he clenched his fist until his knuckles turned white and swung as hard as he could.

His fist made connection with Morgan’s cheek and from the shock of Spencer’s actions it knocked Morgan off kilter. Morgan stumbled and placed his hand to his cheek.

The punch clearly did more harm to Spencer than Morgan, but he didn’t care. The pain in his hand was welcomed. It cut through the hurt that was clutched around his heart.

The others cried out in shock as they tried to digest what just happened.

“What the hell, kid?!” Morgan yelled at him.

“’What the hell’ is right!” Spencer growled back as he stepped up to the other man and pushed his shoulders, “Sneaking behind my back? Telling my fiancé that I had some secret affair because of some phone call you didn’t hear the entirety of!”

Spencer was seething, the rest of the team gaping at him never having seen him so furious before, “You could’ve just asked! But no, the whole team had to get involved. And now I hear she was planning on living with you for a few days?!” Spencer clenched his possibly broken fist again. “She’s in a coma and may never wake up again and her last thoughts of me will be the thought that I was getting with someone else.”

Spencer inhaled sharply as his rage at Morgan turned to rage at himself.

“Spencer!” J.J shouted, “Stop!”

His sharp inhales quickly turned to hyperventilation, his brain was in overdrive, a million thoughts and memories were spinning around his head and he just wanted it to stop.

So he stopped it the only way he knew how.

Instead of hitting Morgan, Spencer turned at the last second and hit the wall.

He fell to his knees and cried as he hit the wall again and again and again and again.

Blood smeared across the white wall as he broke the skin on the knuckles. The physical pain overrode his senses and he chased the feeling.

That was until Hotch grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him away from the wall causing Spencer to lose his balance and fall back into Hotch's arms which quickly locked around him.

“Stop! Get off of me! Hotch, let go!” Spencer squirmed as he tried to fight against his boss. His back was pressed tightly against Hotch’s chest, his legs bent in front of him and he kept slapping at Hotch’s arms to let go.

Hotch just shushed him and held him tighter. Completely understanding his anger. He’s been there and the best thing for Spencer is to calm down enough so he can go back and sit with Y/n instead of giving in to his anger and doing something else that he will regret.

Once Spencer figured out that he wasn’t going anywhere the fight drained out of him and he stopped slapping at the arms circled around him.

While Spencer was hunched over Hotch gave the rest of the team a nod to clear the area and give the two some space.

Hotch pulled one Spencer’s shoulders to shift his position so that Spencer curled into his chest.

Once Hotch placed a comforting hand over Spencer’s head a sob broke past his lips and the entire dam broke. Spencer cried his heart out.

He could barely breathe, inhaling only made him choke on his sobs and made him feel worse.

“What if I never get to speak to her again?” he whispered between sobs. “Never get to tell her that she’s the only one for me.”

“Spencer you need to breathe.” Hotch told him gently, “You need to calm down. Breathe with me.”

Spencer felt Hotch’s chest rising and falling against him. He closed his eyes and tried to follow his boss’ actions.

After a moment, Spencer was finally able to take a deep breath. The oxygen flooded his brain and the fog cleared. His entire body shivered before he came to his senses.

Blinking hard he realised he was curled into Hotch’s chest, cocooned in his arms.

He shouldn’t be here.

He was sitting on the hospital floor instead of in with Y/n. He slowly sat up and Hotch let his arms fall from around him.

“You alright?”

Spencer wiped his left hand over his face, “Fine. Fine. Yeah. I need to uh, I need to go to Y/n.”

He put his right hand behind him to support his weight, but an agonising pain shot through his hand and he fell onto his elbow with a grunt.

“Here, let me see.” Hotch knelt over him and held out his hand.

Spencer shook his head and used his other hand to support his weight as he got off the floor, dusting himself off as best he could, “I’m fine.” He held his right arm close to him as he stood up straight.

He looked around and noticed that J.J, Rossi and Morgan are nowhere to be seen… which is probably for the best.

The shame of what he’s done washed over him like a bucket of ice water. He just punched his best friend in front of his team then proceeded to have a break down in his boss’ arms.

“Spencer.” Hotch called out. “You’re not fine, let me see your hand.”

Spencer shook his head and walked out of the waiting room without saying anything.

Stopping just outside Y/n’s room he looked in the window, you hadn’t moved a muscle.

Emily was sat by your bedside holding your hand.

The pain of the possibility of losing her was too much for him. His only relief was the slow rise and fall of your chest.

His eyes were already puffy and sore, and he felt dehydrated. He sighed as he raised his left hand to wipe the tears away, cursing himself for his behaviour.

“Spencer.” Hotch stood at his side, “You need to get your hand looked at, and I’m sure the nurse wouldn’t mind doing it by Y/n’s bedside.” He knew Spencer probably doesn’t want his hand looked at for at least three reasons; he doesn’t want to leave Y/n’s side for much longer, he feels embarrassed or shameful or he feels the need to punish himself.

He agreed as long as he can stay beside Y/n, “Okay.” He opened the door and the bleeps of the machine’s filled his ears.

That was your heartbeat.

He lowered himself into the chair at your right side and raised his left hand to hold hers. His right hand was tucked into his chest. The throbbing was excruciating but he welcomed it.

He pointedly avoided Emily’s worried expression before she smiled at him and left the room without word.

A nurse came bustling into the room a few moments later with a tray of equipment, clearly fetched by Hotch. She stood next to him and Spencer raised his hand to let her do what she needed to do. Hissing as she cleaned the cuts on his knuckles.

The nurse didn’t mind his silence and talked calmly to him as she worked, “You did quite the number on your hand.” She wiped away the blood and inspected his fingers, “You’ve definitely broken a few knuckles, I’m going to wrap your fingers in a splint and then bandage you up, okay?”

Spencer nodded, “Okay.” He said quietly.

She taped his middle and ring finger together and then bandaged his entire hand down to his wrist. “Now, keep this on for the next two weeks and then come back in so we can give you an x-ray and review the damage.”

Spencer nodded, “Thank you.”

The nurse left and Spencer was alone with Y/n once more. He stared at his right hand that was now resting on the bed.

How could he do this? Throw a tantrum while the love of his life lies in bed fighting for her life.

He leaned forward to rest his arms on the bed.

“Hi.” His voice shook, and he cleared his throat. He hasn’t been this nervous to talk to you since you first met. “You always told me that I needed to talk more, but I- I have no words for what I’ve done. I’ve done something terrible. Actually, I’ve done a few terrible things.” The tears formed once more, and his head pounded from the pressure. “I may never get the chance to say this to you but I am so, so, sorry. I made you feel that you weren’t special to me anymore, that I don’t love you which is the furthest thing from the truth.”

Spencer played with a strand of your hair that was laying on your shoulder.

“How could I ever be with someone else? No one could ever, ever take your place in my heart.”

He gently lifted your hand in both of his, his head felt heavy, so he bent over and placed his forehead on the back of her hand. “I love you more than anything in this world. When you wake up I’m going to spend every second of the rest of my life making it up to you. And I know you wouldn’t want to miss that. So, please wake up. Please.”

He had been talking when it happened so he never heard it.

You weren’t breathing in the same rhythm as before.

When he finally noticed, he frowned as he looked you over. He slowly got to his feet as he scanned the machines. Right before his eyes some of the numbers began to climb as others started to fall.

Spencer scrambled past the chair and ripped open the door to your room, “Doctor! I need a doctor here now!” He yelled out before running back to your side, “Y/n, sweetheart if you can hear me; don’t give up. Please.”

Two doctors and a nurse sprinted into the room.

“Sir, sir!” The nurse grabbed Spencer’s shoulder, “We need you to leave.”

Spencer shook his head frantically, trying to keep up with everything that the doctors were saying to each other, “I can’t.” he whispered to himself.

“Sir! Please!” The nurse pushed at Spencer’s shoulders until he was outside the room and the door was shut in his face.

The rest of the team had heard the commotion and had run to the room as well.

Rossi placed his hand on Spencer’s shoulder as the entire team watched the doctors place paddles on your chest and shock you.

Again.

And again.

#spencer x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds

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wosoluvrr · 4 months

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sorry about the blood in your mouth, i wish it was mine || a. russo x reader (2)

summary: you reconcile with the girls before heading to the hospital with alessia.

warnings: some angst, some sweet stuff, a few curse words here and there, insinuations of smut but no smut if you catch my drift

a/n: hi! part 2 as requested :)! thank you for the love on the first part (which you can read here if you're behind ;)), it was all very sweet. you're all wonderful. do let me know if you're interested in some singular stories or more multiple parters, (and with who)! i do have an esme morgan fic nearly done, though! anyways, i hope you enjoy this one all the same. as always, all my love 🤍

to your dismay, the match ended just before alessia and you could make your way to the hospital, the girls pouring in from the tunnel looking for you. the clash against united had ended as a stalemate, the frustration and dissatisfaction from their performance seemingly hanging itself in the air as they came upon the two of you.

it was clear some of them were upset with you, their jaws clenching and posture painfully reserved, with others more indifferent to your outburst. however, despite any feelings of frustration, there was a sense of relief on each of their faces; steph being the first to commit herself to wrapping you in her arms, her hands protectively holding your face against her as she noted how scared she'd been for you. lia joined next, slender fingers pressing themselves into your back and squeezing your arm in reassurance.

the guilt was practically seething from your skin, eyes glossy as you stumbled over nearly a million apologies and accepted each of their hugs. alessia watched quietly from the corner, mumbling something to beth as she left to collect your guys' things from the lockers in the room over.

"does it hurt as bad as it looks?" kyra asks, brown eyes trailing from your nose down to your lips as she winced at the sight.

"it doesn't feel great," you laugh and put your hands on your hips, "but it certainly can't top the pain of that glass bottle you shattered on my foot."

"i wouldn't have dropped it if caitlin hadn't of jumped out of nowhere and scared me!" she exclaimed, arms crossing defensively.

you playfully push her as her cheeks flush crimson, caitlin laughing and filling katie in on the story of what had happened a couple years ago when you had come to visit them in australia. it almost felt a little like normal, the small talk conversations easing your anxiety as you reveled in being able to truly breathe again. there really wasn't anything you loved more than your girls, just the presence of them made the pounding pain backwash itself into a slight afterthought.

"i'm glad you're okay, you're not one to get reactive on the pitch."

leah was beside you now and the feeling of next to you immediately made your heartbeat hammer it's way into your throat. besides alessia, there was hardly anyone you wanted to impress more than leah. you couldn't help but look up to her, the young lioness captain crowning you her 'sweetest best friend' and sticking by you through your first national team call ups, and eventual life changing transfer to arsenal.

though you'd never say it, being one of leah's best friends was (nearly) the greatest thing to ever happen to you. to put it frankly, you'd rather die than have the girl be ashamed of you.

"i don't know what got into me," you reply, eyes focused on alessia as she placed your bags on the bench, laughing heartily at victoria desperately trying to do more push-ups than manuela.

leah follows your gaze and nods, pulling you into her side for a hug and sighing. "i think we both know what got into you, y/l/n," she says knowingly.

alessia’s watching you now, victorias cried not even enough to grab her attention. you'd barely told leah about your crippling crush on the striker out of fear she would tell georgia and keira, who would think it's funny to tell mary, who would accidentally tell ella— who would, without a doubt, tell alessia.

although, you hadn't been able to perfectly contain it, your infatuation spilling itself to leah sometimes as she jokingly told you to make a move. she didn't understand the seriousness of it all, only ever remembering when you accidentally said something that indicated your potential crush.

however, despite her joking pushes for confession, you'd gotten close once. you had a whole speech to go through and you even bought the roses and a cute stuffed bear. but, you bailed at the last second and gave the gifts to esme instead as a valentine's day gift since she was one of the only girls without somebody to expect something from.

she was more than delighted, hugging you longer than you'd ever been hugged before and returning the favor with flowers and a chocolate box promptly the next day. the sweetness of it all allowed you to forget about the pathetic mess of it all for a moment, deciding it was fate to give it to a good friend, like esme, rather than a hopeless crush, like alessia.

"you're going to the hospital, right?" leah asks when you pull away, her stern look still evident as she continued to dance around her obvious desire to chew you out.

"yeah, of course. alessia is coming with me, i think," you look over to her but she's already looking back, arms crossed as she leaned against the wall by herself now; seemingly waiting for you to be ready.

leah nods, pulling you in for one final squeeze and shedding her puffer, helping you into it and zipping it up to your chin. she lingers on your face a moment, running her thumb carefully over the tape on your skin to better secure the bandage alessia had clumsily put against your face before insisting you head to the hospital.

"i'll call you tomorrow, yeah? glad you're not scuffed up too bad, mate. i mean it. off you go," she nods to alessia who is now standing behind you, leah giving her a tight smile before heading back to the girls.

"ready to get all stitched up?" alessia asks with a smile as you dryly laugh, walking past her towards the door as she followed in quick succession, nearly dropping her keys.

despite how good the aftermath of the match had gone with the girls, the 30 minute drive to the hospital was hard to get through.

you didn't like being alone with alessia because it made you nervous, and the confinement of her mercedes was probably the worst situation you'd been in yet. your head was still pounding and the music she played only made you feel worse, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to make it all stop for what felt like the millionth time today.

and she was so close to you, her sweet smelling perfume driving you insane.

you weren't usually this close to her, often coming upon the perfume as you came out from the showers last, the smell clearly indicating alessia had left no later than a few minutes before you. you liked it that way— perfectly keeping your distance but still being able to, for lack of better words, lose your mind over her.

"are you nervous at all?" alessia asks, hands clumsily flipping the turn signal on.

"for the stitches?"

she nods.

"i don't like needles all that much," you admit as your stomach churned at the thought, "but i'm not very scared, no. as long as i don't see the needle beforehand i'll be okay."

"i've never had stitches before," she says. "i've only ever broken bones and stuff." the memory of her broken leg at unc floods your memory and it makes you feel a little sick, a photograph of a weak bodied alessia in a hospital gown reentering your memory.

you decide to finally look at her now, admiring how her nose scrunches every once in awhile and how she can't seem to decide which hand she wants to steer the wheel with.

"i'm more worried about getting my nose reset, i've had my shoulder put back into place mid match and it sucked pretty bad."

the rest of the drive is silent until the car roughly pulls into a parking space, alessia muttering about how bad she is at parking as she readjusts the positioning and turns the engine off. the silence feels heavy, the lack of engine humming and music making everything feel worse than it did before.

"do you want me to stay in the waiting room when they call you in?"

you hadn't thought about whether she'd come in or not, the pain of having to choose making your palms feel clammy.

"what do you want to do?" you ask, hoping she accepts your deflection.

"i want what you want. you know that," she says.

the words weigh themselves on you and you can't think anymore, brain feeling completely detached as you replay the idea over and over.

"come in," you decide without much thought. "no reason to have come all this way just to sit in a waiting room, right?"

she nods and smiles at you, blue eyes intently searching your own for something you weren't sure of. you abruptly turn back forward and clear your throat, reaching to the floorboards to grab your phone and keys to your own car.

alessia gets out before you can, opening the door for you and insisting you put 'some real pep in your step' so she can get you checked in as quick as possible.

it all starts to feel a little too intimate— alessia cleaning your cuts, alessia offering to take you to the hospital, alessia alessia alessia.

the waiting room seat is painfully uncomfortable, the plastic cushion coverings making noises that make you feel lightheaded as you squirm in the chair looking for the right angle. there's barely anyone in the hospital which is probably a good thing, the likelihood of waiting a century for a reset and some stitches looking unlikely.

it only takes 10 minutes for a doctor to call your name, the lack of nervousness washing away as you swallowed something that felt similar to a heartbeat and made your way to the door with alessia close behind you.

———————————————————————————

"how long do you plan on studying the precise measurements of your nose?" alessia asks, lips curled into a sweet smile as she laughed at your furrowed eyebrows.

the stitches had gone fine, the doctor recognizing the two of you and making for nice conversation. you'd hardly even realized it had happened, far too focused on maintaining silent eye contact with alessia as she occasionally sent a smile or silly face your way.

the reset of your nose, though bearable in pain, did not go so well.

you were completely convinced your nose was still off center, waiting until the doctor left to lose your mind in hopes to not be rude. alessia had told you everything looked fine and begged you to stay seated for the 30 minute wait time until you'd be released, but of course your refused, grabbing the small hand held mirror from one of the counters and plopping yourself back onto the table to examine yourself.

"i look like i've been punched!" you exclaim, a shaky finger running itself along the outline of your nose as you continued to panic.

"well, you were punched," alessia affirms, laughing again as you send her a dirty glare.

she decides to get up and take the mirror from you, hushing the protests that leave your mouth as she makes quick work of putting the mirror back exactly as it was found.

“i look like alanna when she broke her nose,” your eyes are wide and alessia is laughing so hard she feels a little sick.

“if leah was here she’d agree instead of lying to me like a mother would,” you spit, moving the mirror closer to your face and groaning at your appearance.

alessia rolls her eyes playfully, “your nose looks how it always looks, i promise. you're stressing out over nothing, baby," she says, looking down to her phone and hastily trying to reply to the obnoxious amount of texts asking for updates on you.

you felt like you couldn't move anymore, eyes wide and fixated solely on alessia. a pet name didn't have to mean anything, you knew that. leah called you 'love' all the time, steph called you every name in the book, and kyra even claimed you as her 'pretty girlfriend' any chance she could. you loved it and were always happy to return the sweet words back.

but alessia couldn't share that privilege.

it made your head spin. it made your pupils blow and your heart hammer in your chest. it made your throat close up and threaten to never let you breathe properly again.

you wanted to tell her then and there. if you could time it perfectly the doctor could save you from awkwardness, coming in to assess you. maybe you could call leah to take you home? steph? anyone but alessia?

"i really do think it's crooked," you decide on ignoring all the screaming in your head. it was surely slanted, the bridge pointing to your right further than it had before.

alessia is rolling her eyes yet again from her seat in the chair by your hospital bed, putting her phone into her bag and watching you pout.

"quit being stubborn," she says. "i ought to make you walk all the way back home," her teasing voice is higher than her normal voice, your head, once again, spinning severely out of control.

"leah would come and get me," you say defensively, choosing to give in to the teasing instead of spacing out any longer than you already had. "or kyra, she would definitely come and rescue me from the side of the road."

you're laughing now, the thought of clumsy kyra having to rescue you from the side of the road. it's a good thought and you can only hope to remember to ask her if she'd actually ever be down to rescue you. maybe if you promised her a sleepover, or something stupid like that.

alessia doesn't laugh. hell, she doesn't even smile. you stop altogether as well, messily retracing your steps to catch what had made her mood drop? had she looked at her phone and seen something? you couldn't remember, too focused on your own bullshit to have been looking at her long enough to notice.

"lessi?" you try it softly, begging her to look up at you instead of blankly staring at the floor.

the doctor walks in before you can properly freak out and alessia excuses herself to the restroom. 10 minutes of vitals and care instructions pass before the doctor tells you you're free to go, leaving you to wait for alessia by yourself.

the room is so cold and obnoxiously bright and sterile smelling. it hadn't been noticeable when alessia was around, your mind far too focused on her, or pretending not to be focused on her, to properly take in the fact that you were in a hospital.

another 5 minutes pass before you debate going to make sure she's okay, a text from her saying 'i'm in the car, just come out when you're done' beating you to it. it makes you feel queasy, stomach churning and brain on fire.

you walk slow, not wanting to see her in this newfound upset state. let alone be in the car with her while she was pissed off about whatever it was that had happened. you debated actually calling leah, her contact picture still slotted in your slew of notifications with a text about getting good rest.

you can see her from your stance in the parking lot, her head resting against her hand in the drivers seat of the car. she looked so small in her winter coat, the clothing item nearly engulfing her body into it and leaving a misshapen body behind.

even from here, she was the prettiest girl you had ever seen. even upset, there was no one you wanted and adored more than alessia.

you finally made your way to the car, slotting yourself into the passenger seat and internally fighting with yourself over whether to try and talk to her or just leave her be. she immediately pulls the car out of the lot, exiting onto the highway and putting on her music. you decide to stay quiet, looking out the passenger window and watching all the passing lights of the city.

by the time she pulls up to your apartment you’re nearly in tears from the awkwardness, alessia not saying a word as she put the cat into park.

“have i upset you? because i’m really sorry if i did,” you say, body completely turned towards her as she continues staring mindlessly out the window.

“i know i’ve been a lot today, and i’m sorry. i appreciate all of this so much, i seriously owe you—“

“are you and leah together?”

it was the last thing you expected her to say. the car felt infinitely smaller now, your body shifting uncomfortably in her squeaky leather seats.

“are you joking?” your’e nervously laughing, the thought of being intimate with the other blonde being so wildly wrong it’s funny.

leah was basically your mom with the ways she bossed you around and micromanaged your life. planning out your schedule with you and being your plus one to nearly everything, she was a mere two steps away from being a certified family member turned adult babysitter.

“you’re wearing her coat,” alessia says, eyes staring at the #6 on the arsenal training coat wrapped around your body.

“she offered it to me before we left, i’m confused why you’re interrogating me about leah?” you’re getting defensive, your body pressed against the passenger door as you tried to back away from her.

“i don’t know why i did this,” alessia whispers, shaking her head. “you were vulnerable and i was vulnerable and i thought— i don’t fucking know what i thought, actually.”

you’d never really seen her like this, face completely flushed and hands tightening around the wheel. she looked so angry and the bone in her brow became so prominent you wondered how you’d never really noticed it before.

it was hard to understand what she was going on about, the meds still playing with your head and the anxiety in you making your pain prominent once again.

“i’m really confused right now,” your voice is laced with frustration as you lazily maneuver yourself forward so as to get a better look at her face. “i don’t understand why you’re so upset right now? i can’t help you if you don’t tell me what the hell is going on with you.”

you immediately regret how intense you sound and you force yourself to relax your body, eyes softening as you look at her.

“it’s so dumb,” she whispers, shaking her head.

“it’s not dumb, i promise. whatever it is, it’s okay, just talk to me,” you’re practically begging her, your hand against the side of her seat as you continue intently looking at her.

“i just have this, like,” she laughs and slams her head against the car seat, finally looking towards you. “i have this crippling crush on you and i thought it’d be a good idea to tell you after you were all better for some reason and that fell apart because the way you talked about leah was just so much and then i thought about how close you two were and i noticed the coat and felt stupid for not getting the hint that you were togeth—“

“can i kiss you?”

you don’t think about it, nor do you care that you didn’t think about it. there was nothing to think about. it was just alessia. alessia sitting right next to you, telling you she felt the same— it was the only thing to say.

“you have stitches on your lip,” she whispers, eyes trailing down to the thread and back up to your gaze.

“i’m numbed out of mind,” you remind her, your own eyes fixated on her mouth as you waited for an answer.

you wouldn’t be upset if she said no. you’d be perfectly fine walking inside with absolutely nothing more than what she’d already given you. there wasn’t anything that you could ask for more perfect than this.

she decides not to answer, instead leaning in and gently pressing her lips to your own. the thread is mostly on the inside of your mouth, the rough feeling only slightly making it’s way to alessia’s lips which eases her anxiety.

you hardly move against her, scared to overwhelm her or yourself, desperately trying to confirm if this moment was real or not. but it’s clear she wants more, her hand moving to the back of your neck as she pushes you further against her.

“climb over the middle,” she breathes into your mouth, undoing your seatbelt herself and moving her seat back slightly.

there’s no time to consider anything so you do as your told, climbing over the middle console and sitting yourself on her lap, nervously looking down at her. she’s somehow even prettier up this close, faint freckles littered across her nose and barely there smile lines visible near her mouth.

but there’s no more time for examining because she’s kissing you again, hands roaming to your waist and thighs, squeezing your skin and driving you insane.

to say that you needed more was an understatement, your body practically burning for her. but you still had a headache. and your nose might still be crooked. and you were so tired your legs felt a little wobbly even with your full weight on her.

“do you wanna stay over tonight?” you ask, alessia moving to kiss your neck as you spoke, her warm tongue running up the skin there and causing you to shiver.

she pulls away and you notice how dark her blue eyes had gone, her pupils blown so big you could argue her eyes might be black. “stay as in sleep,” you say, lazily putting your hands on her shoulders.

as if a switch was flipped she gives you the signature sweet smile, nodding up at you and squeezing your waist again playfully.

“not that i don’t want to, you know, but today is just too much for me,” it comes out a little awkward but alessia is already ahead of you, leaning up to kiss you one more time and smile stupidly into your lips.

“we can talk about it all in the morning?” she asks and you nod, moving yourself out of the now open drivers door and stepping out into the cold night. she’s quick to follow, letting you go first and unlock the door.

you barely make it through much of anything, your body almost immediately in bed by the time you’d walked in. alessia is standing awkwardly near you, fingers toying with themselves as she tried to come up with how to ask where she was supposed to sleep.

“you can lay in here with me,” you say. “only if that’s what you want, there’s always the couch.”

she practically runs into bed with you, cozying herself up in the opposite side and laying her face towards you. you smile at each other, basking in the company.

you want to ask her a million things, but you don’t. instead you study her face for as long as you can, falling asleep far quicker than you had meant to.

and you wake up late, for the first time in years. and alessia is laying snug into your side, her body practically radiating heat. and there’s sunlight streaming through your window.

and you’re happy. and your nose, as alessia had promised, was on completely right.

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #alessia russo fic #alessia russo x reader #engandwnt x reader #woso fic #woso imagine #alessia russo #lioness x reader

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souliebird · 4 months

Text

[[and then I met you || ch. 11]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Words: 4.3k

banner thanks to the wonderful @theradioactivespidergwen

You are folding laundry when Minnie gets up and starts waddling towards you, dragging Scooby behind her. You tell yourself you cannot be jealous of a stuffed animal, but Pig was what you gave her in the hospital, and you want him to be the favorite. But Scooby is really soft, so you'll admit defeat.

She comes up to your bed and climbs up. She crawls to the middle, then sits, laying Scooby beside her, “Hi, Mommy.”

You smile down at her, curious what type of visit this will be, “Hi, sweetie.”

She grabs one of her shirts from the pile of clothes and begins to try and fold it, making you huff in laughter. You let her help because she is making it into a square and that's all you really need. She purses her lips and you wait for whatever question you know is coming.

“Where is your Mommy?”

That slams into you in a way you do not expect and you have to clear your throat before answering, “Mommy’s…mommy and um…daddy, your grandparents, aren't alive anymore. They died a long time ago.”

Minnie takes this in, lips still pursed. She grabs another shirt and starts to fold it carefully. You wonder where this is coming from - you knew it would come eventually but you are curious about the trigger. But you aren't going to push. You want her to be able to come to you with these and any questions.

After about a minute, she gets up and crawls to you, reaching out to be held. You quickly scoop her up.

“Did my Daddy die, too?”

Oh, this is it then. You've practiced this speech in your head a million times, you just didn't think it would be so soon.

You turn so you can sit on the bed and set your daughter on your lap, tucking some hair behind her ear as you speak, “No, he didn't die. I just lost him for a little while.”

Minnie screws up her nose and you don't know if it's from confusion or from judgment, “you lost him?”

You nod, offering her a soft sad smile, “I lost him. You know how sometimes, when we go to the park, you meet other kids and spend all day playing together, but then you don't see them again for a long time?” She nods and you continue on, “You just lost them for a bit. They aren't gone - you just don't know where they are and eventually, they will find their way back to you. That is what happened to your Daddy and I. We were at the same place and became friends, but then we lost each other.”

Mouse puts her fist into her mouth, and you know she's thinking hard. You hope she understands. You've read so many different forums and articles on the subject and just want to tell your daughter the truth in a way she computes.

Finally, she looks up at you, dragging her fingers out of her mouth and letting them fall into her lap, “did you find him?”

Your lips twitch into a smile and you nod. Her eyes get wider, and she practically begins to vibrate with excitement. You begin to gently rub her back, wanting her to feel all of your love, “I did. I found your Daddy. Do you want to know who it is?”

“Mister Matt?” Her voice is so hopeful that your heart swells to the point you can feel it in your throat.

You nod, your cheeks beginning to hurt from your smiling, “Mister Matt.”

She throws her arms around your neck and squeezes you so tightly that for a moment you can't breathe. You hug her back, rocking her in your arms. You never expected to have this conversation like this - you've not really had discussions about family with her yet, but you suppose that doesn't matter now. Your daughter knows the truth and you can feel her smiling against your neck. Tears of joy are gathering in the corners of your eyes, and you fight to keep them from escaping.

You don't know how long you stay there, holding and rocking Mouse, but eventually she pulls back to look you in the face, “does Mister Matt wanna be my Daddy?”

You cup her face and bring her close to start peppering kisses all over, “Yes, yes, he does. He wants to be your Daddy very much. Do you want him to be your Daddy?”

She nods enthusiastically, “I want him to be my Daddy! Please thank you!”

You pull her into a tight hug again and she dissolves into giggles. You don't know if she fully understands but you know this is the first step in her getting it, and you want it to be a good moment. You kiss her forehead, then decide this is a good opportunity to practice talking about feelings.

“How does Mister Matt being your Daddy make you feel?”

She stays nestled against you. You let her think and after a few moments, she whispers, like it's a secret between the two of you, “it makes me happy.”

“It makes you happy?” You confirm.

She nods, before adding, “He has a happy heart. We make him happy. He makes you happy.”

You take in her observation and realize it's true. You find yourself smiling more when you are around Matt - mostly from watching him and Minnie interact. They are the sweetest pair. And you don't need Minnie or Matt's hearing to know how happy Matt is to be around Minnie. His entire being screams it.

“He does make me happy,” you agree. “And it makes me happy he is your Daddy. And hey, Mouse. Look at me?” She pulls back and looks at you with wide eyes and you make sure you hold eye contact, “Our next Big Girl Talk will be about how things will change now that you have a Daddy, okay?” She nods eagerly, a serious look coming across her face. Telling her in advance about what you will be talking about helps with her comprehending it is a serious topic.

You take a moment to look her over, noting in all the ways she looks like her father before leaning in to kiss her cheek again. “I love you, Mouse.”

“I love you, too, Mommy,” she replies, all smiles and sunshine. She mimics you by placing a sloppy kiss on your cheek with a big ‘mwah’ added for good measure, then she hugs herself to you again. You wrap her up in your arms, content to just hold her. It doesn't last long - she's still a wiggly toddler and she eventually wiggles away from you. She crawls back onto the bed, grabbing Scooby before dramatically flopping over.

“Can we has pizza for lunch?”

You guess life changing news time is over now and you are back to your regularly scheduled day. You hum at her question, thinking pizza sounds perfect for lunch. “Do you want to make it or do you want to go by Tiny’s?”

“Make it!”

You laugh and your wallet thanks your daughter's desire to make things from scratch. Luckily for you, you already have pre-made pizza dough. You just have to add toppings and bake it.

“Okay, we can make pizza for lunch,” you tell Minnie, and she responds by making Scooby cheer, pushing his arms up into the air and waving them around. You smile at her excitement; glad everything is going so well. You know this would not be as easy if Minnie didn't absolutely adore Matt. You can't imagine how things would have gone if she started asking these questions months ago.

You pull yourself away from your thoughts to focus back on folding laundry. Mouse rolls back up into sitting and snatches up something from the pile to help you. It takes her a full thirty seconds before she dives into make pretend and you both work as she narrates your adventures of tidying up before the big princess ball.

-----

You check in with Matt to make sure you are disrupting anything before you and Mouse start towards his office. Your sweet little girl wanted to bring her new Daddy lunch and Matt had not said no to the offer of homemade pizza. You hadn't hinted that the truth had been revealed to Minnie - you kind of want it to be a surprise for him and you want to be able to see his reaction in person.

Your daughter is undeniably excited. She's swinging her arms as you walk, and every other step is a bounce. You are trying your hardest to not laugh at her antics and she has picked up on that and it has become a game. When you pause at the crosswalk, you look down and she sticks her tongue out at you. When you return the gesture, she gasps, then squeals with joy. You wrinkle up your nose at her, pulling a funny face to keep up the positive energy.

She bunny hops across the street and keeps at it until you are in front of the building holding Nelson, Murdock, and Page. She seems to recognize she's been here before, pausing to look up at the building before hurrying up the stairs. You follow her inside and she keeps a hold of your hand as you go up to the right floor.

This time, you let her knock on the door - you don't want to walk in on anything awkward again - and a moment later, it swings open to reveal Karen. Mouse practically teleports behind you, obviously not expecting someone other than Matt to answer. The blonde smiles warmly at you, a twinkle in her eye.

“Pizza delivery?” you say, hoping it will lighten the mood and Minnie will be less afraid of the woman in front of her.

Karen steps aside with a laugh and you usher Mouse inside, “I heard it was homemade.”

You flush over the idea of Matt talking about you to his friends, but you had offered to bring his law partners lunch as well. “Uh, yes. It's just cheese, nothing fancy,” you tell her, hoping to not get her hopes up over it being fantastic pizza. Cooking for yourself and a toddler is far different from cooking for adults, and you are suddenly very aware of how high their expectations may be.

“No one in their right mind complains about pizza, let alone homemade pizza,” a voice says from your left and you turn to see Foggy and Matt in the conference room, both sitting at the table and gathering up remnants of their work.

“Your cooking is amazing, don't sell yourself short,” Matt adds, his smile causing your heart to pound in your chest. The praise makes you a little dizzy and you tell yourself to stop acting like a school girl - he's probably just being polite.

“He lorded that lasa-”

Foggy’s joking is cut off by the sudden pitter-patter of feet and the absolute toddler screech of, “DADDY!”

Minnie is halfway to Matt before you even realize she's left your side. You hurry after her, Karen right behind you, and you make it in time to see Mouse crash right into Matt's legs. He looks completely dumbfounded - eyes wide behind his red lenses and lips parted in surprise - and your daughter uses his shocked state to scale him. She throws her arms around his neck and hugs him as tight as her little body will allow.

Matt returns the hug with just as much force once he realizes what's going on, burying his face into her hair. His shoulders start to shake, and you can just barely hear him confirm for her, “Yeah, baby. I'm your Daddy. I'm your Daddy.”

You can't help but let the tears fall this time, covering your mouth so you don't disturb the sweet moment. Movement in the corner of your eyes lets you know Karen is also covering her mouth and crying. You are pretty sure Mouse is the only one not crying.

Your little one can only stand being crushed for so long and she pulls away from Matt but stays standing on his lap. She places her hands on his cheeks and you don't know if she's trying to keep balance or mimicking a gesture you frequently do with her.

You can see Matt's tears from across the room and your heart twists. How long has he wanted this? How long have you wanted this? You want to hold them both and never let go - just so you can keep this feeling of overwhelming love forever.

Minnie breaks the symphony of sniffles, declaring, “Mommy said she lost you.”

Matt gives a wet laugh, his smile so bright and full of adoration for his daughter, “she did? She won't lose me again. I promise. I'm not going anywhere.”

You have to keep yourself from sobbing at his words. Too many emotions stir at his promise, and you have to remind yourself he's talking to Minnie and not you. As much as you want to hear the words yourself, to have someone say they'll never leave you - you know it isn't in the cards for you. You wrap your arms around yourself and watch Minnie search Matt's face.

She pats his cheeks with both hands, telling her father in a serious tone, “you have to stay close. Or Mommy will put you on a leash.”

It takes a moment for you to realize she's referring to her tethered backpack, but the damage is already done.

“You don't want her to put you on a leash, do you Matt?” Foggy asks, not missing a beat and not at all sounding like a crying mess despite being one.

Karen lets out a scandalized “Foggy!” while you bury your face into your hands, wishing the floor would swallow you up.

Matt doesn't even get to respond to the tease - Minnie whips her head around and her eyes get wide as she seems to realize other people are in the room. You can see the wheels turning in her mind before she crashes herself back into Matt's arms with a giggle, “Froggy!”

Matt doesn't seem to mind being used as a jungle gym and wraps himself around Minnie to hold her close. He kisses the top of her head and chokes out, “Yeah, that's Foggy, and that over there is Karen. Do you remember - I told you about them?” Your little one hides her face against his neck with a nod. You see her jaw move as she mumbles something to Matt, but you are too far away to hear but whatever it is, Matt gives a pleased laugh, “Yeah, his hair is too short to braid.”

Foggy scoffs at this reveal, “That is nonsense. My hair is long enough to braid!” He looks at you and Karen for confirmation, “Is my hair long enough to braid?”

“I mean,” Karen says, wiping away her tears with a smile, “They'd be pretty small. It would certainly be a fashion choice.”

“It's longer than Matt's hair,” he argues, a pout forming on his lips - but you can tell it's playful.

Minnie peeks away from the crook of her father's neck to peer at Foggy. She eyes him before declaring, “Too short!”

“Looks like you've been overruled, Fog,” Matt says, resting his cheek against the top of Minnie’s head, happy to let her hide against him. He's stopped crying, but his voice is still a little wet. “You’ll have to go with another style.”

“Liberty spikes?” Your mouth offers before your brain catches up.

Foggy and Karen both look at you and you fear they think you are insane. The familiar pounding starts in your chest and your mouth feels dry, but before panic can see in, Foggy shakes his head, throwing his arms up as he speaks.

“Do you know how much product those need? It's like a can of Got2B per day and I promised myself ‘never again’.”

“When did you have liberty spikes?” Karen asks. She moves to sit at the table with Matt and Foggy and you quickly follow, not wanting to be the only one standing.

“High school was a weird and wonderful time,” is the reply and you try to picture this sweet friendly lawyer with a punk aesthetic. It doesn't really work, but the image makes you smile.

“Daddy can do puffs,” Minnie mumbles across the table to Foggy and you are proud of her for being so brave, “and Mommy…. Mommy makes Moon Buns. She can make you extra pretty.”

Foggy grins at you, waggling his eyebrows, “Well, if she can make me extra pretty…”

Karen swats at Foggy's arm, “how about you keep your hair as it is - we don't need Marci coming after us.”

“Please, she appreciates my daring sense of fashion,” he scoffs.

Matt hums, then stage whispers to Minnie, “Mouse, can you tell Daddy what Foggy is wearing?”

Minnie turns slowly to look at the man in question. Her fist goes up to her mouth and she leans heavily into Matt as she examines him. The blonde man stands up and takes a few steps back, so his outfit is on full view. He even does a slow spin.

“He looks like Barbar,” she decides, and you snort with laughter because you one hundred percent see it. He's in a gray three-piece suit but his tie is a dark green.

“I…I don't know who that is,” Foggy says, a somewhat panicked look on his face. He turns to you, “What does that mean? Is that a good thing or have I just been roasted by a toddler?”

“The elephant?” Matt questions, brows knitting together behind his glasses. You wonder if he read the books when he was a kid, before he lost his eyesight, or if he's been doing his research.

“He wears a three-piece suit,” you clarify, letting yourself start to relax as conversation flows. “He's very fancy.”

“Aren't those books banned?” Karen asks. She doesn't sound judgmental - just like she's clarifying the reference.

You shrug and smile towards your daughter, “they made a new show a few years ago.”

“I still don't know if this is a good thing.”

“You look…handsomes,” Minnie mumbles before turning back to tuck herself under Matt's chin. You read her body language easily - she isn't scared or upset at the interaction. She's just shy. You can see her hidden little smile.

“Oh, you are so his kid,” Foggy whispers, “That was smooth.”

You feel your cheeks heat up and you look down at your lap. Matt certainly is smooth. It is like he can't help himself, as far as you have seen. He's just naturally charming - and your daughter is sweet as can be. You are a lot more clumsy.

The man beside you chuckles and out of the corner of your eye you see him rub Minnie’s arms. With a slight cockiness in his voice, he asks, “Mouse, can you tell Daddy what Foggy had for breakfast?”

You can feel the shift in the air - Karen's interest in your daughter's assessment is practically vibrating off her.

You suck your bottom lip between your teeth, your anxiety spiking at the question. You trust Matt, but you don't know these people. You've only just learned what your daughter can do and already it is being shared.

But, you have no doubts about your daughter’s ability to answer the question. Matt had spent his entire day off playing ‘what's that smell?’ and ‘what's that sound?’ with Mouse and she just wanted to show off for him. Plus, she just likes to answer questions.

Still, she stays against his chest and for a moment you are worried she might just be too shy to answer, but then she starts to whisper.

“Froggy ate a banana. And coffees.”

Matt nuzzles into her hair with a smile, looking proud as can be, “Anything else?”

Your little one sways back and forth, clearly thinking over the question. Her little fist stays against her mouth as she adds, “Cookies.”

She gets a little chuckle from her father, and he kisses her hair before explaining, “That's close. When there are cookies and banana smells for breakfast, that usually means a banana muffin.” He tilts his head towards his best friend, “Right, Fog?”

Foggy nods as he sits down, pulling a face as he does, “Right, a banana nut muffin and coffee. I'm so glad there are two of you to know that now. You are going to give me a complex.”

You can see Minnie screw up her face in thought, then she turns around in Matt's arms to properly look at Foggy again.

“Froggies can't have people food,” she advises. “Froggies eat bugs.”

“I'm not…my name is Foggy, not Froggy. I'm a people.”

You wonder how many times this will happen and decide that while the back and forth happens, you should start setting up lunch. From your purse, you start to pull out the tupperware containing pizza.

“Froggy.”

“Foggy. Fog-gy. Not Froggy. Buddy, help me out here.”

“This is out of my control,” Matt hums. He looks like he is having the time of his life and his smile is infectious. You look up to see Foggy looking at you, silently pleading, but you can tell it's all an act. If it was actually bothering him, you would correct Minnie.

Instead, you simply add, “Ribbit ribbit.”

There's a dramatic groan of “but I don't even like flies!”

“Froggy! Frog!” is Mouse’s adamant response. You are grateful Matt's friends want to engage with your daughter instead of just ignoring her. You know he thinks of them as his family, and you want a good relationship with them.

“I don't know, I think I like Froggy. It's better than Franklin,” Karen says with amusement in her eye. She leans forward and asks Minnie, “Did you bring a bug pizza for him?”

Minnie shakes her head, eyes going big at the idea of a bug pizza.

“Okay, if I am a frog, what is she?” Foggy asks, accepting his fate as he points at Karen.

All eyes turn to her, and the blonde woman straightens up and smiles brightly at your daughter.

“A princess,” Minnie decides after a brief examination, “of Froggyland. Princess of Froggyland.”

Karen absolutely grins at the assessment while the newly assigned amphibian looks scandalized. “The Princess of Froggyland? She rules over me? I reject the monarchy - I'm staging a rebellion.”

“Long live the Queen,” Matt teases and both you and Minnie laugh.

“Excuse you, I'm a princess, not a queen. Yet.”

“Who rules over Froggyland?” You ask Minnie as you pass out the pizza. You get a chorus of ‘thank you’s as your daughter considers her options.

“Jimmy Cricket,” is the final decree.

“A bug rules over Froggyland?”

“I mean, the physical embodiment of a good conscience would be a good king, right?” Matt theorizes.

“All kings are unethical,” counters his law partner and Karen must sense a debate coming, as she puts her foot down.

“No politics while eating.”

“I didn't start this, your highness,” Foggy playfully bickers. As they start going back and forth again, you look over to the pair beside you.

Matt helps Minnie sit down in his lap and once she is secure, he goes to open his pizza. He's ducked his head so he can whisper to her as he does - you can see his lips moving but once again, you can't hear the words. You wonder if it is about the food, but part of you honestly doesn't care what it is. You are just happy that all of this is happening.

You are happy your daughter knows the truth about who her father is and that she seems excited over it. You are happy you get to see them bond and you are happy to see Minnie be so social. You can already see the hints that this dramatic life change is going to be good for her, and that doesn't even include the new information you learned about her senses.

You scoot your chair a little closer to Matt's, preparing to bring Minnie over to your lap so he can eat. Before you can reach for her, Matt places his hand on your knee. You try to not turn into a blushing mess as he starts to rub little circles with his thumb - this isn't what you intended to happen and it's far too embarrassing to push his hand away.

Not that you want to push it away. The touch is awkward on your end, but only because you are so unused to being touched. It isn't unwanted. In fact, it's a little comforting, even though it is sending all sorts of mixed signals to your brain, heart, and cunt. You try to ignore the latter - those thoughts have no place in this moment.

At least that is what you tell yourself until Matt turns his head towards you and gives you the softest smile. Your brain, heart, and cunt all clench before doing all sorts of flips inside of you. He mouths ‘thank you’ to you and the only thing you can think to do is wrap your hand around his and squeeze. He turns his palm up and laces your fingers together and it does nothing to soothe your pounding heart, but you don't think you mind.

You squeeze his hand again and your entire being explodes with love when Minnie realizes Matt is looking at you and turns her head to beam up at you.

“Love you, Mommy.”

“Love you, too, baby.”

She tilts her head back so she can see Matt and in the softest voice says, “Love you, Daddy.”

You're pretty sure Matt starts crying again as he responds, “I love you, too, Minnie. I love you so so much.”

tags:

dnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife

@petrovafire39 @allllium

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium

two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04 @ astridstark13

#soulie writes #fanfiction #daredevil #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #and then i met you

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runningfrom2am · 5 months

Text

leveling the playing field X

summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.1k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there

masterlists // nav // requests

a/n: hi all!! i have some slightly annoying news (I'm so sorry) but i think i have to close my taglist for this fic and for other coryo stuff (which i am working on bc I've seen the requests!!) bc its gone up almost 150 people and i can only tag 50 people per post and it is SO much work to tag everyone individually even after i paste them in and i don't want to have to reblog it 2 or 3 times to tag everyone :(. I'm so sorry like i said ik its annoying but if you'd like to be the first to know ab new parts and you're not already in my taglist, feel free to turn on my post notifs!! that way you'll also see everything else including my asks ab the fic where i answer more questions and we talk theories and all that fun stuff :)

next part

Coriolanus was having a hard time adjusting to the life of a peacekeeper, but he was getting there. He sent off that letter for you almost as soon as he arrived, but was yet to receive a response so that seemed like an answer enough. He had to forget you, especially if he wasn't going back to the Capitol anytime soon.

He was homesick, to say the very least. Both of his bunkmates were out, likely working, but he didn't care much to know exactly where. He was just relieved to have a moment to himself to wallow in his self-pity, chest constricting tighter and tighter with every breath.

A door slammed shut down the hall, followed quickly by his own door opening- at which he held his breath. He had to get it together.

"Is this bunk taken?" Someone asks, a voice not belonging to either of his bunkmates, but he recognizes it nonetheless.

He shot up straight, taking in the appearance of the boy in front of him. "Sejanus!" He had never been happier to see his classmate, hopping out of his top bunk to quickly give him a hug.

"This is a surprisingly warm welcome for someone who almost got you killed." Sejanus chuckled, hugging him back.

Coryo laughs slightly, pulling away and grabbing his shoulders. "Oh, no. Quite the opposite. What are you doing here?"

"About the same as you." He shrugs, sliding his things under the bed below Coryo's. "They were going to expel me, but my dad paid them for my grad certificate and let them send me here. They got a new gym on the condition that they let us both graduate."

Coryo should be relieved, but a graduation certificate doesn't matter much if he's stuck here for the next twenty years. "And Y/N/N?" He asks.

"Y/N?" Sejanus asks, lifting his head back in confusion. "What about her?"

"Did she graduate too?"

"I... I don't know, I didn't know she was in trouble. We were told she was sick."

Coriolanus's stomach drops. That's a story he'd certainly heard before, and he didn't like at all how that ended. He swallows, nodding a little bit as he looks at the floor. "So you didn't see her at all?"

"No... Not since the last time I saw you." Sejanus states. It had been a few weeks now. "But, her mother came to our door a week or so ago, real early in the morning. Ma shooed me away but I heard them talking, it seemed like she didn't know where Y/N was either. She was looking for her, wondering if any of us had seen her."

Again, this is what Coryo had seen before with what happened to Clemensia. Her parents weren't allowed to see her at all while she was in the hospital. "I think she's dead." He admits.

"What? What makes you say that?" His friend gasps.

"I... I heard her screaming when I left our meeting with Highbottom." Coriolanus explains. "At first it was normal Y/N screaming, you know, but then it got worse and worse until it just... stopped." He hoped Sejanus would change his story, that he would remember seeing you at school or on the streets or at one of your parent's obnoxious parties, having a good time, and being yourself. That maybe he had just forgotten, but the look on Sejanus's face tells him that didn't happen.

It was Sejanus's turn to look down now, giving a solemn nod. "I mean, no." He laughs suddenly, shaking his head. "They wouldn't kill her on campus- if you could hear it, she's not dead. They wouldn't kill her just like that, right?" He says, trying to convince himself of that truth. "Surely she's just sick. Maybe grounded, or something."

"Yeah, yeah. Probably..." Coriolanus concedes, hoping that somehow Sejanus was right.

Simultaneously, you were adjusting beautifully to life in District Twelve. You got in the habit of borrowing Lucy Gray and Barb Azure's clothes, and they let you sleep on the floor between their beds. For the first time in your life, you were free. No one knew you, no one had a single expectation of you besides Tam Amber appreciating your help with the goats and occasionally going to the market with Lucy Gray and Maude Ivory to get food. It was refreshing, to say the very least. Everyday you felt yourself unwinding more and more.

"Do you play any instruments, Y/N?" Maude Ivory asks you, skipping to catch up to you as you hike down a trail out to the lake with the rest of the covey.

"I do, actually." You nod at her, a small smile on your face. "Try three."

"Three!" She claps excitedly. "What do you play? You'll have to perform with us! Do they have different instruments where you're from?"

"Not really." You giggle, putting your hands in the pockets of your bright red skirt. "I play the piano, and the violin, which is just like Clerk Carmine's fiddle, but much more boring, and a harp, if you've ever heard of that."

"You play the fiddle?" The young girl smiles.

"Not like he does." You smile at the boy as he walks ahead of you, not paying any attention.

"I'm sure you're just as well." Lucy Gray interjects, bumping her shoulder with yours as she walks next to you. "Maude Ivory, you should hear her projection. I'm yet to hear her sing, but boy, can she yell."

"I can't sing." You laugh, shaking your head. "Back home you don't sing unless you're training for the opera, and you have to start that around the same time you learn to walk. My parents would rather me learn the piano."

"Then why am I the one yellin' at all our shows? You should step up." Maude Ivory giggles, and you just shake your head, ruffling her hair.

"I definitely couldn't do it nearly as well as you." You insist. "Besides, I have stage fright." You joke, mostly to get her off your back.

She laughs as she fixes her hair, running to catch up with the kids in front of her.

"She just adores you." Lucy Gray smiles. "It's nice to have a new face around."

You smile, watching Maude Ivory collect flowers from the side of the road. "She reminds me of my brother. They're about the same age."

"Right, you lent me his guitar." Lucy Gray says, a particular sadness in her tone tipping you off that she believes you should be upset about leaving him. You miss him, sure, but he's better off now with you gone. Besides, he couldn't be any worse than you. Your parents have always doted over him, and there's no doubt in your mind that now that you are gone, it's multiplied.

"Yes. That's him." You reply, accompanying a moment of silence between the two of you.

"Do you miss him?"

"Sure." You nod, kicking a small stone down the path in front of you. "But he's better off without me there. That brings me enough peace to sleep at night."

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." You smile at her, grateful for the change of topic.

"What happened to Coriolanus?" For the first time in weeks, you feel a pinch of discontent in your gut at her question.

"I don't know." You lie, shrugging your shoulders. You don't even know why you felt the urge to lie at all, you knew he was here somewhere but you hadn't seen him once. Out of sight, out of mind is what you have been trying to convince yourself. "He's alive, I'm sure. Peacekeeping in one of the districts probably."

"Oh, I was hoping you would know more."

"It would be nice." You agree. "But he's not exactly in my good graces at the moment."

"It feels so out of character for him to betray you like that, doesn't it?" Lucy Gray asks.

You laugh, shaking your head. "It was unusual. That's what I thought, anyway." You sigh, giving a slight shrug. "I haven't told anyone, but we had... I don't know, a moment, a few weeks ago. During the games. Just a couple of days later and he's throwing me under the bus like I meant nothing to him. We've been friends for years- I thought everything was about to change for the better, and then..."

"That's cruel." She says disapprovingly. "I bet he's sorry now that you're gone with the wind. He's regretting it. I promise you that much."

You smile slightly at the thought, allowing yourself to entertain it, if only for a moment. "He better be."

"Is that for me? Oh, c'mon y'all, you know that I gave up drinkin' when I was twelve..." Lucy Gray says, taking a sip out of the clear liquor bottle someone in the audience handed to her. "Oh, It's to clear my pipes, just to clear my pipes." She clarifies, tossing the bottle back into the audience.

Coriolanus watches leaning against the side wall of The Hob. He's happy to see that Lucy Gray is back to doing what she loved, and she made it home alive and well. He's also more than pleased to finally get off the barracks for something other than work. "Now, who's ready for a song, huh?" She smiles, looking down off the stage to her right. "Okay, comin' right up. First, I'd like to introduce to the stage with a big welcome, a grand ole friend of mine, The lovely Sage!" She says, giggling at her rhyme as another girl climbs up on stage, giving Maude Ivory and Lucy Gray a quick hug each.

Coriolanus looks away as the crowd cheers, scanning the crowd for Sejanus who had just excused himself to grab a drink a couple minutes ago. He's wondering where his roommate could have disappeared to when Lucy Gray's friend starts speaking.

"Well hello, everyone, so lovely to meet you all! I have never felt so welcome anywhere." His head snaps back to the stage. He'd know that Capitol accent anywhere, even as you pause to allow any cheers to quiet down. "I mean that." You grin, hands clutched to your chest. "And that feels so good, considering Lucy Gray all but forced me up here." You laugh, draping an arm over her shoulder, letting her take back over. How could this be real? Coryo is tempted to rub his eyes or pinch himself to make sure he's even awake. He was so sure you were dead, but despite the different name and completely different clothes, he was positive it was you. The pang in his chest made that obvious, along with the wave of surrealism that suddenly surrounded him so all he could see was you.

"Now, my beautiful girl Sage here will be taking over for our friend on the fiddle, we'll give the band a quick break, and we're gonna have a bit of a change of pace while she's lending us her talents." Lucy Gray says, and Coriolanus watches as you take the beat-up violin from the young boy gratefully. He knew you played, but he hadn't heard it for years. You looked so calm, something he wasn't sure he had seen in public since you were young. He can't pull his eyes from your figure as it graces the stage with your presence, lighting up the room even if it was only for him.

A small smile grows on his face as you start to play, several whistles echoing through the room before Lucy Gray even joins in with her singing. He wants to scream, to cheer and clap and yell and tell everyone in this dark, rundown building that this 'Sage' was his. Inarguably and undoubtedly his. Coryo's pride is only curtailed when he recognizes the song; it was the ballad Lucy Gray played in her interview on your brother's guitar.

The sophistication your violin playing brought to the piece almost made it sadder and infinitely more haunting. It's beautiful. Now with your classical touch, the song sets a pit of guilt in his stomach. That somehow, even without you singing, it's now a ballad from you to him.

"Just let me remind you what I am to you..."

He makes eye contact with Lucy Gray as he shifts his gaze away from you. She pauses for only a moment, hands still moving rhythmically over the strings of her guitar. She smiles and nods at him, jaw slightly agape as she glances back at you to see if you noticed him. When it's clear you haven't, she gets back on track with the words within only a moment.

"'Cause I am the one who looks out when you're leaping. I am the one who knows how you were brave..." Your lips turn up in a small smile as she sings, eyes still shut while you focus. Even though he's sure you're thinking of him, it doesn't bring him much consolation. Well, at least you were thinking of him. He would take it.

The song ends as quickly as it starts, and despite the slower tone, the audience is still excited. More so as the band returns to the stage and you return the violin to Clerk Carmine before turning back around to give a bow. You wave out to the audience, reveling in the whistles and praise before reaching out for an extended hand, accepting it as its owner helps you down. "That was stunnin', where'd you learn to play like that? I've never heard anything quite like it." The man asks, still holding your hand out in between you.

"Oh, thank you. I've been playing my whole life." You grin as the music picks up again.

"Can you dance like you can play?" He asks, lifting your arm to spin you.

"I can certainly try." You laugh, going along with it as he pulls you into a more open space of the crowd, and to Coriolanus, it seems like you're taunting him. You're dancing like you don't have a care in the world, dressed in a skirt that looked like it was made out of a red bed sheet cut up and stitched back together in half-hazard squares, and what looked like one of your t-shirts cut up into a tank top that exposes most of your stomach and back. Appallingly too, a smile present on your face that he had dreamt of seeing again one day but was certain he never would. The only problem is that you're dancing with someone else. Not that he was much of a dancer, but he could try if he had known that's what you wanted.

He's planning his method of attack. He can't leave without speaking to you, because he doesn't even know if you'll be back here the next time he gets a day off. Though, based on your appearance and newfound carelessness, it's likely.

His urge is just to kiss you, but the only thing holding him back is that it could set you off. If you hadn't heard his apology from miles away, would you still be angry at him? But actions speak louder than words. He knows that physicality works with you, and it was hard to deny that he hadn't dreamt of how soft your lips felt on his for weeks. One time was just simply not enough for Coryo.

Coriolanus scowls as the man you're dancing with spins you again, making you laugh as he drapes an arm around your waist.

Maybe he should get Sejanus, see if he's seen you yet.

Another spin, and a hand sliding lower down your bare back as the man pulls you closer, his fingers landing on the waistband of your skirt. When was the last time that scumbag had so much as washed his hands? Coryo wonders to himself, rage boiling up under his skin.

Kiss her. Definitely kiss her.

But if the song choice was any indicator, you definitely weren't pleased with him. It couldn't be, though, because how would you know he would be in attendance? Coryo finds his feet carrying him through the crowd, pushing past a dozen carelessly drunk people in his effort to get to you before he's even thought it all through.

Your brow furrows as a body forces itself between you and your dancing partner. "Hey! What are you-" You cut yourself off, hypnotized by the cold blue eyes staring down at you.

That's my girl. Even though you're angry, Coriolanus is grateful to be the object of your gaze once more.

"'Scuse me, man, do you mind?" The man says, making an effort to push Coryo away. He turns, and before you can intervene he's swinging his fist right at the other guy's face, finding its target in a fraction of a second.

He stumbles back, grabbing his face as it immediately drips blood from his nose onto the floor. There are gasps in the crowd as it disperses around you.

"Hey, settle down, settle down now." You hear Lucy Gray call out amidst the music playing in the background while you grab the back of Coryo's shirt, pulling him back before he continues to beat up your dancing partner.

"Coriolanus, what are you doing here?" You shout over the music. He shakes out his fist, turning back to you now and grabbing your face, pulling you closer to kiss you instead of dignifying you with a response. His actions would certainly speak louder.

You want to be angry, but that falters as you feel his lips on yours again, his hands planted firmly on either side of your waist as he holds onto you so tight you weren't sure breathing was an option- even if you could. You followed him here, of course you wanted to see him, but how could he betray you so easily and expect forgiveness in a kiss?

It takes you longer than it probably should to build up the courage to place your hands on his chest, shoving him back. "What is wrong with you?" You spit, looking him up and down in the blue uniform signified of a peacekeeper off duty.

"What's wrong with me?" He asks, looking around and gauging how many people were even taking notice. "What do you mean, Y/N/N, I wanted to-" Clearly you hadn't heard his silent apology, or it just wasn't enough.

"Hey!" You hiss, jumping at him and attempting to cover his mouth at the use of your nickname, and he quickly swats away your hand. "Let's go. Outside, now." You shove him back by his chest, pointing towards the exit.

You look up at Lucy Gray on stage, still singing as she watches you nervously. You give her a nod and a small reassuring smile before linking arms with Coryo and guiding him toward the door. Just like old times.

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yexthiccxa · 7 months

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The Angel With Horns Pt. 1

summary: you accept a teaching position at jujutsu high where you get to work with your childhood crush, suguru geto. unfortunately, that means you'll also have to work with your childhood nemesis, satoru gojo. are you going to rekindle new flames or potentially make new ones?

wordcount: 7.3k 🙃 (this is pt. 1 and it's four chapters long)

c/w: gojo/fem!reader, geto/fem!reader, gojo/oc, geto/oc, modern!au, teacher!au, smut, fluff & smut, some plot, plot what plot, flashbacks, timeskip, asshole!gojo, flirty!gojo, cocky!gojo, soft!geto, cousin!shoko, mutual pining, teasing, flirting, playful banter, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, sensual tension, sexual tension, pet names (angel), dry humping, fingering, oral, fantasizing, multiple orgasms, inappropriate use of cursed energy, inappropriate use of cursed techniques

a/n: eeeep. this is my first fanfic so feedback is welcome 🥺it’s a first person pov where the unnamed oc is meant to be the reader! Currently working on Part 2!

edit: just posted this part on ao3 if you'd rather read it there!

✦✧✸✧✦ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ✦✧✸✧✦

Chapter 1: Reunited

It’s clear as day but my mind is fuzzy. There are thousands of thoughts surging through me, but all I can focus on is the pleasure filling my body. For as long as I’ve known him, I’ve always wondered if this day would ever come. My hips are pinned against his counter. Arms stretching wide while my fingers grip his sink. My neck rolls back as the rays of light blind me from his window.

In my head, I’ve spent countless hours wondering how it feels to have his body pressed against mine. Or how his breath hovers on my neck as he pulls me closer. His scent is undeniably sweet, but the way he handles me tells me that he’s everything but that.

“I always thought you were a good girl,” he growls in my ear, kissing his way down to my neck like it was never his to claim. “I never expected you to prove me wrong.”

I imagined how his kisses would consume me, how his touch would paralyze me, and how his moans would ignite me. But in all these years, I never imagined this entire fantasy would be with someone else instead.

✦✧✸✧✦

TWO WEEKS AGO

The clouds begin to subside as I walk through the familiar gates of Jujutsu High. The droplets of rain fade away and a strange mix of emotions hit my core. Today marks the beginning of my journey as a teacher here, but I can't stop myself from feeling a pang of anxiety. Amid the unease, there’s still a sense of comfort in returning to a place I once called home.

My footsteps echo softly on the hallway tiles as I make my way to room 3-A for orientation. The memories of my time as a student creep into my thoughts. It’s changed in many ways, but I find solace in knowing that there are still a few people here that I can lean on.

When I moved back to Tokyo and got the teaching position, Shoko mentioned that Suguru taught here as well. Memories of him invaded my thoughts. We were practically inseparable during our high school years, largely due to my close bond with Shoko. Wherever she was, I was sure to follow—our Ieiri blood may tell us we’re cousins, but I always thought of her as my sister. Her friends were always fun to be around. However, they constantly got into situations that always put me on edge. Shoko has always been such a free spirit, and while I adore her, I know her comfort zone far surpasses my own. Despite my lack of participation in their wild adventures, I surprisingly never felt left out or lonely.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go? Finding curses in abandoned hospitals sounds way cooler than studying curses… in a book,” I muttered to Suguru as I gestured to my pile of textbooks.

“How many times do we have to go over this? I’d rather practice my curse techniques here instead.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and lowered his face towards mine—his breath tickling my ear.

“Plus, taking care of you is a hell of a lot better than taking care of everyone else,” he chuckled.

“Who said you needed to take care of me?” I protested. He remained close, and I felt his mouth curve.

“I never said I needed to. I want to take care of you,” he whispered. A secret for only my ears to hear.

Throughout the years, I grew to love his playful laughter. It was soft, tinged with warmth and sincerity—though it always seemed to trail his jokes that slightly missed the mark. And his touch, though never sensual, always felt protective—like a wolf looking after its pack. The more I learned how sweet Suguru was, the deeper I fell in love. For years my guarded soul harbored this secret, and even if the world was ending, I swore to myself that I would never tell a soul. The "what ifs" often danced through my thoughts, but ignorant bliss always outweighed the risk of potential heartbreak.

My thoughts come to a halt as I turn a corner, and suddenly, I'm face-to-face with a towering presence. My breath catches, and my eyes instinctively trail up the contours of his strong frame. The world around me blurs for a moment, and my heart quickens. But before I can fully process the shock, a familiar voice calls out to me.

"Hey, there’s my girl! Did you realize the world wasn’t as great without me?" Suguru teases, his voice bringing back years of memories.

"Suguru!" I exclaim, a surge of excitement makes me toss my arms around him. My words tumble out eagerly, "If I was your girl, I probably would’ve never left." I laugh, though my heart races as curiosity causes his brow to rise. “I’m just kidding. Everything was great, but I’m glad to be back though." It may not have been the best save, but it’ll work for now.

My arms tighten ever so slightly, and I’m compelled to study him. His shoulders are still broad, yet somehow, they seem larger than I remember. His hair has grown longer, though he still keeps it partially tied. The chiseled contours of his jaw feel like steel against my skin, but his arms around waist are gentle and comforting. I notice that the morning gloom has officially cleared, because his beauty is bathed in sunlight. As we break away from our hug, his dark eyes meet mine with recognition and warmth, as if our time apart has only deepened our connection.

"Well, I’m glad it was good. I’ve missed you." he rumbles, his voice resonating like a soothing melody.

"Likewise," I reply with a warm grin, feeling a rush of nostalgia. "Will you be at orientation today?"

He explains that he has to help Yaga with some setup throughout the morning. I try not to let my smile drop, but he's quick to notice. Of course he notices, it's Suguru. Before I can even process my thoughts, he adds, "I have the same lunch break as everyone else though, let's catch up then? We can meet in the courtyard."

A surge of excitement washes over me, and I nod eagerly. "Sounds perfect," I reply. Feeling a newfound sense of confidence, I continue on my way to the orientation room.

“I’ve missed you." his voice echoes through my mind. For a moment, I can't help but wonder, was he thinking about me the whole time I was gone? Why did he call me his girl? Does that mean he had feelings for me? No—stop, that can’t be. If he had feelings for me, he would've said something, right? But maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

My stomach begins to flutter as a seed of hope is planted into my heart. The slightest possibility of Suguru's interest sends me to the moon. I know I’m not the same girl I was when we last saw each other. So maybe, just maybe, this is a sign.

As I head towards the room, my steps feel lighter than they've been in a long time. For once in my life, I can finally hope for something more. I finally believe that I…my heart sinks as I reach the door.

Blocking my path is a figure I desperately hoped to avoid—the infamous Satoru Gojo.

Chapter 2: Repulsive

Much like Suguru, Satoru’s build overpowers me. His arms rest on the edge of the doorframe and I can see the contours of his bicep peek through his shirt. I take in a sharp inhale and reluctantly step forward. Satoru will not, I repeat, not get the better of me today. I hesitate for a moment, locking my eyes with his.

He peeks out from the edge of his sunglasses, and the corners of his lips begin to curl. I watch as pieces of his platinum hair barely brush the top of his rims, while others just fall short of his eyes. It’s been years, but those striking pools of blue remain etched in my memory. Swirls of azure, navy and cobalt fill my vision, but I stop myself before my gaze begins to linger.

I attempt to slip past him but find myself with no clear escape. As I contemplate my next move, I mutter a greeting through gritted teeth, "Satoru."

His smirk grows into the devilish grin that haunted my past. "Hey there, Angel,” he purrs. “No hello? Or how have you been?" His tone takes on a playful note, laced with a hint of something else—something I can't quite decipher.

I try my best to let the moment pass, but I’ve let this go on for far too long. I’m done ignoring his comments. “You know I have a real name right?” I bite back.

“But why switch it up now? You’ve always been my little angel,” he teases mockingly.

“And you’ve always been a pain in my ass,” I reply, my stare unwavering.

“She fights back,” his brow rises in shock. “I like this new version of you. Keep it up.” His grip on the doorframe loosens and he turns to make his way into the room.

I let out a deep sigh, feeling the tension of my grip escape through my fingers. As I regain focus, I notice Satoru has turned back, his face mere inches from my ear. His voice is smooth, like silk across my skin as he whispers, “I can be a pain in a lot of other places, but I promise it’ll feel good.”

My eyes widen as my pupils darken. My mouth runs dry as he chuckles his way to the edge of the room.

Memories of my high school days with Satoru flood back into my mind. His words cut through me, but in a way more akin to pleasure than pain. A mix of emotions overwhelm me, but I ultimately scowl at the sight of him. While Shoko and Suguru have helped me blossom, Satoru has always been the thorn in my side.

“Come on Suguru, are you really going to stay with her again?” Satoru asked.

“It’s okay, just go without me. I’ll go with you next time,” Suguru replies. His arm raises to scratch the back of his head.

This is the last festival of the season; there won't be another chance. “Please just go. I’ll be fi—,” I uttered.

“Well, enjoy your time with the little angel,” Satoru calls out as he continues walking away.

He makes his way out of our view, and I turn to Suguru, “Why do you even call him your best friend? He’s kind of a dick.”

Suguru laughs. “When you go through some of the stuff that we have, you’ll see that there’s a bond that goes deeper than blood. He’s a bit rough around the edges, but it’s not an excuse. Don’t worry. I can talk to him.”

I can’t stop myself from smiling with adoration.

I quickly find an empty seat in the orientation room, my mind still buzzing. The comfort and familiarity of the school are now tainted by the presence of someone I had hoped to forget. It was stupid of me to think Suguru and Satoru would drift apart after all these years. As I gather up my resolve to remain close with Suguru, I accept that their connection means my path with Satoru will cross more often than I would like.

✦✧✸✧✦

A full morning of orientation reduces my brain to mush. The anticipation builds and all I can pay attention to is the clock ticking away. Yaga drones on about teamwork, collaboration, and trust – unsurprising, considering his history mentoring Suguru and Satoru. If he survived that, I’m sure being the principal is a piece of cake.

As the clock finally strikes noon, I gather my belongings and head for the door.

“Ms. Ieiri—one moment please,” Yaga calls to me, stopping in my tracks. He assembles the group of new hires and hands each one a folded letter. “This is for the afternoon sessions. On this sheet you’ll find…”

His words trail off and I find myself glancing at the clock again, hoping that Suguru hasn’t been waiting too long. Once we’re dismissed, I rush towards the courtyard.

While my legs carry me on autopilot through the halls, I take a moment to examine the letter. The paper feels coarse, the creases are weighted with importance, yet the ink is delicately placed. The overwhelming amount of information makes it clear that I'll have to review it once lunch is over. I scan the letter to find main items scheduled for the afternoon:

1pm: Mentor Session (Room 2-C)

2pm: Lesson Planning (Room 1-B)

3pm: Team Review (Room 1-B)

Seems simple enough. I approach the stairs leading to the courtyard, when my eyes catch the small section at the end of the letter:

Mentor Assignment: …

As I hurry, I fail to notice the uneven step at the halfway mark. My foot catches the edge and suddenly, I’m airborne. I feel the letter escape my fingertips. My heart leaps into my throat and the world starts to blur.

I reach for the railing, but my grasp barely holds. In the following moments, I find myself colliding with a figure. His hold is strong, bringing me comfort. I feel his fingers slowly cup my arms—they’re soft, tender, holding me with care.

“Easy there,” he rumbles. “I got you,” his voice is low and radiates through my core. Suguru’s eyes lock onto mine and I feel the heat beginning to smolder. “I got you.” His words bounce through my head.

“Suguru. Sorry… I—” The words are impossible to make out.

“Don’t apologize,” Suguru smiles. “I like having you in my arms.” He adds a playful wink sending butterflies through my chest.

I hold his gaze and my body melts into his. Suguru and I have been close for years, but this time, it feels altered, deeper. It feels like the intensity of our connection is seeking something beyond friendship. We’re inches from each other and I wonder if he can hear my thoughts or feel my heart beat out of my chest. Time slows as I marvel at his smile. I let my mind wander just for a moment…

Suguru lowers, barely touching his lips against mine. He starts soft, planting kisses down my neck as he caresses my cheek. His touch trails to the rest of my body and delight surges within me. It's gentle, but I crave more. He bites my lip before slowly letting his tongue make his way inside my mouth.

Passion builds within me as one hand grips my hair and the other grabs my waist. When his fingers gently graze the small of my back, I writhe with pleasure, hoping he can’t feel the squeeze between my thighs. His taste is intoxicating—sending me into a fever that I can’t seem to break.

I close my eyes and let his mouth take me.

“I’ve been waiting for you…” he breaks away to tell me. His voice is on the brink of losing control. “...for a very long ti—”

“Hello? Are you okay?” Suguru asks. My focus immediately returns. “I’ve been waiting for you, so I was heading back inside to make sure you were doing alright.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Yaga needed to give us this letter and—oh fuck. My letter.”

He senses my worry and swoops me up in one solid motion, but I feel too weak to stand.

I turn to see that my letter has found its way in a puddle pooling at the edge of the steps. I rush down to grab it, but it’s already too late. While I can make out certain areas, the majority of it has smeared away. I bring my gaze towards bottom in hopes of making out some of the letters:

M..nt…. ….gnment: S…..u G…o

I pause—Suguru Geto. A knot hits my stomach and I’m waiting to identify whether this feeling is anxiety or joy.

I look up from the letter expectantly. “Suguru, my mentor… is this right?” I ask.

“Yeah, it is! It’s nice being paired with someone you know. It’ll be just like old times.” His words are the only confirmation I need.

✦✧✸✧✦

Although the years have passed, it feels like Suguru and I have never skipped a beat. I miss the way he talks, the way he laughs, the way a strand of hair always manages to fall even when it’s tied. I could spend hours looking into his eyes and hearing all of his adventures and how he’s mastered his curse techniques.

The minutes go on and the end of our lunch hour approaches. Suguru frowns as he glances at his watch, and offers an apologetic smile. "I have to head out a bit early. Yaga needs some help before the mentor sessions start," he explains.

I nod understandingly, though I can't help but feel disappointed. "No problem, I’ll see you in a bit?"

He grins, those familiar eyes twinkling with warmth. "Definitely, I’ll see you later!" He gives me a hug and we part ways.

With a sway in my step, I find myself standing before the door of 2-C—but it’s locked. I scan the hallway to see if anyone can help, but there’s no one in sight. I grab my phone to text Suguru for help, but fate has other plans.

Before I can send the message, a familiar presence creeps up behind me. The weight of his aura envelops me. His body feels warm, yet somehow my blood runs cold. With a key in hand, he moves to unlock the door.

A gasp escapes my lips, and I feel the tension build around us. My heart races as I hear a voice, a soft whisper that ignites my soul.

"Hey there, angel," the voice purrs. "Were you looking for me?"

I let out a deep breath to release the fury that boiled inside of me. “As a matter of fact, no. I wasn’t looking for you… Satoru.”

Chapter 3: Reinforcements

It takes me a second, but it finally registers. The letter didn’t actually say Suguru Geto. It was supposed to say Satoru Gojo. Suguru’s voice rings though my head:

“Suguru, my mentor… is this right?” I try to recall. I guess I didn’t explicitly mention a name.

“Yeah, it is!” Damn it, why didn’t I say his name?

“It’s nice being paired with someone you know.” My body feels heavy as my soul fills with dread.

“It’ll be just like old times.” The world begins to spin around me.

I walk through the door without looking at Satoru and head straight for the windows on the other side of the room. The room itself is quite small, just large enough to fit a blackboard, a full teacher’s desk, and three smaller desks for the students. There’s a bit of extra room to spare, but none of it is enough to keep me away from Satoru.

In the reflection of the window, Satoru props himself against the larger desk, his long arms draped behind him. His smirk tells me he's completely at ease, as if he enjoys torturing me this way. “Not who you were expecting?”

I hold my response and continue staring out the window. I suspect he can read my discomfort.

His footsteps are quiet, but I feel them reverberate behind me. The air from the window feels cool, but it fades when his body radiates against mine. He leans down, bringing his hands around my sides. As he places them on the window sill, I can feel his face inch closer to mine. He’s too close for comfort but I can’t bring myself to push him away.

“With a bit more time, angel, you’ll see that I’m full of surprises.” I can feel the rumble in his throat as he speaks. “That is…if you’re willing to find out.”

My face turns hot and my thighs tighten. I may hate Satoru, but there’s something about his charm that feels irresistible. After years of dealing with him, I thought I’d get used to it. But this doesn’t feel like the same Satoru I used to know.

His arms are still placed on either side of me, but I swat him away, “Don’t you have better things to do than to tease me?” My brow rises. “Maybe… actually mentoring me?”

He lifts his arms in defense, “Hey angel, sorry if I’m coming on a little strong. I’m just having some fun.” He nudges my arm, and the force leaves me unsteady. “For old times’ sake.”

I roll my eyes and take a seat at one of the smaller desks.

“Plus, I’m not big on mentoring,” he adds. “Yaga has me doing this because I owe him for saving my ass on the last mission. Luckily he assigned me to you, and we both know you’re more than capable of doing this job without my help. It’s always been like that.”

“Oh how sweet. Is this your way of complimenting me?” I tease. He wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t going to give in that easily.

“What do you mean? I always give you compliments.”

“Calling me angel doesn’t count,” I sneer.

“Would you like me to call you princess instead?” He curled into a self-assured smile.

I blush, trying to bite back a chuckle. I lied, this is the same old Satoru. “So are you going to keep making up names, or are you actually going to teach me something?”

He brings himself close, his face stopping just short of mine. “I can teach you a lot of things, angel.”

I let out a sigh, “I’m serious, Satoru.”

“Fine, if you insist.” My curiosity is piqued as he props himself up and heads for the blackboard.

“Lesson number one: If you ever want me, don’t want me,” he smirked.

I drop my shoulders and let out a sigh, but he continues.

“I’m serious! Lesson number two: If you ever need me…”

I finish his sentence, “Don’t need you?” His smile confirms my thoughts. “What’s number 3, Gojo-senpai?” My eyes plead as I pout in an attempt to mock him.

He seems uneasy. “Don’t do that,” he quickly snaps back, and I straighten up. “And now, lesson number three, the most important one: If you ever need my help, learn how to help yourself first.”

With a hint of sarcasm, I reply, “Wow, what a wonderful lesson. I’ve learned so much.” I gather my belongings and prepare to leave. “I think I'll just ask Yaga to assign me to someone else.”

He steps closer, blocking my path before I can fully rise from my seat. "No, wait. Don't do that,” he implores, his gaze earnest. “Can you stick it out for a little while? Just until this mentorship period ends. I need to get through these two weeks so Yaga won't make me do this again next year.”

I force my way up and scoff in his face, “Why on earth would I do that? What the hell have you done in these last few hours or even the last ten years that would make me put in a good word for you?” My volume increases. “You constantly tease me, you’ve never helped me, and—”

“I can hook you up with Suguru,” he murmurs.

“Excuse me?” My voice remains elevated from the anger.

“I can hook you up with Suguru,” he repeats firmly.

“Oh,” I pause as my voice settles. “Why would you do that?”

“For someone so smart, you ask the silliest things. It’s obvious you like him, angel.”

My cheeks heat, feeling exposed and vulnerable under his penetrating gaze.

“It’s been obvious…for years—at least to me,” his voice softens. "And I promise, if you put in a good word for me, I'll help you with Suguru. No tricks, no games. Do we have a deal?" He extends his hand, waiting for my response.

This deal seems too good to be true. I try to figure out what the catch is, but nothing comes to mind. Unlike before, his gaze feels genuine and his smile seems sincere. I take a deep breath, preparing for a leap of faith. For the first time in my life, I guess I’m going to have to trust Satoru.

I reach for his hand, allowing a confident smile to grace my lips. “Deal.”

✦✧✸✧✦

Although this is not how I pictured my first couple of weeks back in Tokyo, this alliance isn’t as terrible as I thought. At the end of our work days, Satoru and I hang back in Room 2-C for our “mentoring” sessions. We spend 1% of the sessions on actual work, and the other 99% on dating. I tell him that it’s been a while since I’ve dated, and Satoru jumps at the opportunity to refresh me on the art of flirting.

"Alright angel—you’ve known Suguru for a while, but I’m guessing like you only ever interact with him as a friend. Try starting…” he picks up his hand to graze the side of my arm, fingers lightly dragging towards my wrist. “...with light touches. Make sure you maintain eye contact and smile genuinely." His voice is velvet and slow.

A shiver runs through me, and my mouth goes dry. I clear my throat. "Light touches, like this?" I laugh hesitantly. I try to mimic his advice, but it’s nowhere near as gentle as his.

Satoru chuckles. "Close, but you’re too tense. Just relax a little bit."

I soften my touch and continue to brush my fingers up his arm. As I slowly pull him towards me, our eyes lock and I’m immediately mesmerized. There’s a flutter in my core and it turns into desire. There’s an ache between my thighs, and moisture begins to form.

“That’s it,” he purrs as he leans towards me. “Just like that.” The pull of his voice is a magnet that continues to bring me closer. My heart races while the quickness in my breath trails slowly behind.

I close my eyes and let my cravings take control.

Satoru rests his thumb on the edge of my lip while the rest curl under my chin. He tilts my head and slowly whispers, “And that is exactly what you should do…” His voice perks back up to his normal tone. “...when you’re flirting with Suguru,” he smiles.

I shoot my eyes open and straighten up. What the hell was I thinking? Was I seriously trying to kiss Satoru? I mean, it wouldn’t be so bad, would it? Wait…no, stop that. Something must be wrong, my wires are completely crossed. I shake it off to rid myself of the residual shame.

Shoko braided my hair like she’s done a million times before. “Hey, who do you think is cuter, Suguru or Satoru?” she posed out of curiosity.

“Hmm, that’s so hard. You know they're both hot.” I laughed. “If we’re going purely off of looks, probably Satoru. Sometimes I hate him, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t cute. I think it’s the eyes.”

“Yeah,” she replies with a hint of dejection in her voice. “I think so too.” I knew what was coming, but I could tell she had trouble getting it out. “Would you be mad if I asked him out?”

I pulled away for just a moment, “Oh my god, go ahead! Don’t worry about me. Suguru is still cute, plus he’s way nicer to me anyways.”

She paused for a moment, then threw her arms into a hug, “You’re the best.”

I smiled back and returned her embrace. “Okay, now finish doing my hair.”

✦✧✸✧✦

During these last two weeks the only times I see Suguru are during our lunch breaks. His schedule is hectic, but I can see that he makes the time for me—even though I know he doesn’t have any. I use these moments to practice some of the things I’ve learned from Satoru. Light touch, eye contact, genuine smiles.

I’ve touched Suguru’s arm, stared into his eyes, and laughed at his jokes many times before, but it was never like this. This time, all of my actions are bold, assertive, and confident. It’s no surprise that Satoru is a master of charm, but I didn’t expect him to be a decent teacher as well. Come Monday, he’ll be happy to know that Yaga will get glowing reviews for his mentorship.

For today’s lunch, Suguru and I are sitting on the courtyard steps, inches away from where he caught me just two weeks before. He has a look on his face that I haven’t seen before. I can tell something is on his mind by the way his brow furrows and his smile drops.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask.

“I was—” he pauses, then retracts. “Nevermind, it’s nothing.”

“Come on, Suguru. You can tell me,” I place my hand on top of his.

He smiles, and I can tell my assurance has calmed him down. “I just found out that I’m leaving for a mission next week, and I won’t be back for a few days.”

“Oh,” I reply, a pang of disappointment lingers in my tone.

“I was wondering…” he starts. “Did you maybe want to hang out or something before I leave?” A nervous grin crosses his face before he adds, “Like outside of work?”

I perk up at his proposal. “Of course! I would love that. When were you thinking?”

“I know it’s last minute, but maybe… tomorrow night? It’s okay if you’re bu—”

Cut him off before he has the chance to ramble. I reply with, “I would love to.”

Our lunch continues and the conversation shifts between current events, life updates and playful banter. I learn that Suguru still prefers staying in over going out, he’s got a new obsession with cooking, and his hair care routine is a lot more involved than I thought. As he speaks, I can’t help but admire him and the person he’s become.

When we prepare to part ways, Suguru confirms our plans for the weekend, “So, I’ll see you tomorrow? Meet at my place around 7?” Grinning as he inputs his address into my phone.

“I’ll see you there,” I return a smile and hug him before I leave. The feeling of his touch is perfect.

Chapter 4: Reckless

The workday ends and I make my way to the usual room for my last mentoring session with Satoru. As I walk in, he notices the stupid grin plastered on my face. “You look a little chipper today, angel. What’s up? Excited that you’re no longer forced to spend with me?”

“Well, yes,” I laugh. “But also… Suguru asked me to hang out tomorrow tonight. I’m going to meet him at his place,” I fight to contain my excitement.

Satoru’s brow lifts with intrigue, “If you wanted an invite to come over, you could’ve just asked me.”

Confusion clouds my brain. “Excuse me?” I ask.

“He didn’t tell you we were roommates?”

The clouds dissipate when I realize what’s going on. “No he didn’t. I guess it makes sense though.” The thought of Satoru joining in on our date fills me with unease. “You won’t be there right?” I clarify.

“You can relax, I’m meeting up with someone too. No need to worry about me barging in on whatever “activities” you two plan on doing,” air quoting as he takes a seat at the desk in front.

“Satoru, stop. You don’t even know if that’s gonna happen,” I argue.

“You’ve spent ten years drooling over this man, and you finally get a chance to spend some time with him in his apartment…alone.” he starts. “I don’t know about you, angel, but that sounds like a recipe for sex to me.” He leans back towards the blackboard and places his arms behind his head. A smug look sweeps his face.

“Well, yeah I guess… but it’s more so…” I hesitate, struggling to find the words to say. The thought of Suguru and I being intimate has always crossed my mind, but I can't believe it might actually happen.

“Oh I get it… There’s no reason to be nervous. Sex is sex,” he interjects. “Plus, if he’s the one who initiated the date, I’m sure he’ll enjoy whatever happens, sex or no sex.”

He makes a good point, but I still feel unsure. Before I have the chance to stop myself, I blurt out, “Do you know what he’s into…like when it comes to sex? Do guys even talk about that stuff to each other?” The regret immediately slips through my lips.

Satoru gets up from his seat and brings his hands to my shoulders—a gesture of comfort I’ve never seen from him before. “He’s my best friend, I know everything about him,” he assures me. “Trust me, you’ll be fine.”

“Can you just tell me? Please?” I playfully beg, placing my hands on top of his.

Something about my question changes his demeanor, like he’s been waiting for it all along. The air shifts and suddenly I feel a rush of heat. Satoru drops one of his hands while the other drags across my chest. He begins to circle me, walking slowly, like a lion with its prey. In a situation like this, his towering presence would normally intimidate me, but something this feels different. I'm not feeling fear; instead I feel secure, fascinated, and curious about what lies ahead.

He makes his way behind me and I can feel him lower his head towards mine. “I can tell you…” he whispers, grabbing my waist and pulling me closer. “But do you want me to show you instead?” His words send shivers to my spine.

He retrieves something from his pocket and places it into my hand. It’s a long piece of fabric, similar to the one he uses to wrap his eyes. My mind spins—stuck between the logic in my head and the cravings of my body. I hesitate for a moment, but the weight of my desire defeats me. “Yes. Please,” I say softly, as I wrap the cloth around my eyes.

“Perfect.” He ties the back securely, and I feel his touch tilt my head toward him.

I let out a breath and part my lips. Our lips touch, locking just for a moment before he briefly pulls away.

“I think for your benefit, and definitely mine, I’m going to keep my limitless on. That way it’s purely informational and you won’t feel a thing,” he says.

And just like that, an invisible barrier forms between us. While his touch is subdued, I still feel the heat hovering between us. The closer I try to get to him, the more I feel his body vibrate against mine—like magnets trying to repel. Damn it, Satoru. He might not feel a thing, but I… I still feel everything.

In my mind, I do my best to recall every part of Suguru from memory. I try seeing his face and emulating his touch. As the pieces of Suguru form, a clear image of him floods my brain.

I can feel his touch as Satoru moves up from my waist and beneath the hem of my shirt. He continues up to cup my breast and I can sense his kisses on my neck. They’re soft and muted, but the sensation still gives me chills. His breath is hot as his mouth works his way up to nibble my ear. I can feel his throat rumble when Satoru continues his lesson, “Do you want to know what Suguru is like?”

I nod. In my mind, Suguru’s dark eyes ease their way shut as he takes in my scent. His strands of hair brush against my shoulder as he continues to plant kisses down my neck.

“Suguru is a lover—always takes care of his women,” Satoru purrs as he rubs his thumb over my breast. The friction against my nipple sends a jolt of euphoria through my chest. “Do you want to see how he’ll take care of you?” he asks.

My body tenses and I feel a rush of liquid between my thighs. I roll my head back onto his shoulder and hum with pleasure. My breath is labored, I can barely speak. “Show me,” I manage to let out.

“Well to start, he’d make sure your lips never go hungry.” Satoru slowly turns me around while his kisses move to my lips. His lips are soft, smooth as he takes me in.

The intensity rises as his kisses become needy. Using his hands to grip my ass, he leans me on the edge of the desk behind me. Shock fills my body and I can feel his tongue finding its way inside my mouth. Waves of his cursed energy flow through me. It’s powerful—commanding my fingers to lock into his hair. I pull him closer, imagining Suguru's weight crashing into me.

As the ache between my legs intensifies I ask, “What else would he do?”

“He’d work his way up your leg… past your skirt…” he slowly whispers. “And find your clit. Just to make sure she’s happy too.” His fingers travel to my panties, stopping just above my slit. He uses thumb to rub the cloth, and the trembles of his limitless cause me to moan. I roll back and forth, grinding against his hand, desperate for more. My moans are endless and slowly amplify every time the pressure increases.

When he realizes I’m enjoying myself, he runs his fingers along the edge of my panties. I whimper, wondering when he can put an end to this torture. I crave him so badly, I crave the feeling of him inside me—anything to help me find release. He finally gives in and slides my underwear to the side. As his touch grazes against my folds, I picture how good it would feel to have Suguru’s large hands cupping my center.

Satoru picks up on my thoughts and continues feeding my fantasy, “While he teases your pussy, Suguru would tell you that you’re already soaking wet…” The thought has me dripping more liquid onto his fingers. I feel his mouth curl into a smile and he whispers, “...but we’re only getting started.”

His fingers thrust inside me and I can feel the magnitude of his hands as my walls tighten around him. The thrill from his fingers barreling into me stun every inch of my body. I can feel my thighs clenching on the brink of release. His fingers find the sensitive spot within my walls and his mouth claims every spot on my body. His kisses become ravenous, like he can’t get enough. The more he devours me, the more he leaves me breathless.

I can hear him groan in delight and I notice the way his bulge presses against me through his pants. The desperation only makes him harder.

As the intensity grows, I cry for more. “Oh Suguru, just like that.”

“Do you like that, angel?” His pace remains steady as the sensation of cursed energy collects into his fingers. They continue to push against the insides of my center until I can’t take it anymore. The rhythmic motion leaves me breathless and I feel my body racing to its peak.

“Ugh, Suguru, fuck…that feels—”

“Does he make you feel good?” His voice feels heavy, like a low growl.

“Y—, ugh, ye—” I can’t form words through the pounding of his hand. He’s rapidly sending me to the edge and I’m ready to fall. “Suguru, you’re going to make me come.”

“Yes, angel.” Satoru says, before planting his lips onto mine. “Come for him.”

Those words are enough to break me. The orgasm flows through my body and I feel myself beat around his fingers. His pace slows, but the sensual touch only brings more gratification. The thought of Suguru sending me into ecstasy leaves my body light, and my mind clear. The waves slowly subside and I feel myself resurrect.

My hands head for the wrap on my eyes, but I hear Satoru whisper, “We’re not done yet, angel.”

I follow his lead and let the rumble of his voice bring me back into my dreams.

“Did you think Suguru would stop there?” he teases. “If there’s anyone he’d take special care of, it would be you.”

I feel his fingers slide out of me and I hear him lick the tips. “You taste so good.”

The words release a flutter in my core. I’m immediately enraptured and can’t help but crave more.

“Suguru would love this,” he starts. “Would you let him taste you too?”

“Yes,” I breathe.

I imagine Suguru’s strength as his hands cup my waist and he lifts me up on the desk. When I lean back, I feel him lift my shirt, exposing my breasts. “You’re so god damn beautiful.” His tongue licks my nipple before fully taking it into his mouth, giving it a playful tug.

“Please, I want you to taste me,” I plead. Liquid gushes out of me, giving him a good dose to start.

“As you wish, angel.” He bends down to hover his mouth over my center. I feel him linger before he adds, “Do you know what else Suguru likes to do?”

“Tell me,” I whisper.

“He likes making sure your pussy never goes dry,” he growls, letting his mouth devour my clit. The vibrations from his limitless amplify the sensation, and I’m on the verge of losing control.

My body goes numb as his words echo through my head. He likes making sure your pussy never goes dry. I let out a moan, but it feels more like a cry. I completely unravel, feeling the tides of my orgasm come back to shore.

“Oh my god, Suguru. That feels so good. Don’t stop,” I cry.

As he continues to glide over me, I throw my head back and writhe in pleasure. His tongue goes up and down my center in a harmonious rhythm, and I’m so close to feeling ecstasy. His mouth on my lips may have felt needy, but his mouth on my pussy feels absolutely desperate. The ripples of his limitless accompany the motions and bring me to my limit. As he plants his hands on my thighs, I immediately crumble.

I melt into my orgasm as my legs tense up around him, squeezing him towards me. I picture Suguru’s hands gripping my thighs while he moans back in delight. My breath is quick, my heartbeat is unsteady. The muscles inside me contract and pulsate all over his tongue. He has me slick and he licks up every bit of the liquid that trickled from me.

“And that, my little angel… is a little taste of what you can expect from Suguru Geto,” Satoru chuckles.

I relax my legs and I feel one last kiss grace my center. I lay for a moment, feeling both lifeless, yet satiated. The thought of Suguru between my thighs still lingers in my mind.

“That was amazing, Suguru,” I breathed quietly.

As I sit up, my head is in a fog. I feel my brain spin for a moment. What just happened? Did I just have a wet dream about Suguru? Wait, no. Was it Satoru? It takes me a minute to recollect myself. Although I could see Suguru vividly in my mind, I remember that he wasn’t the person in the room. Anxiety surges throughout my body when I’m faced with the reality of what occurred.

I hear the door click, and rush to take off the wrap around my eyes. “Satoru, can we ta—”

To my dismay, there is no one else in the room. I see the blackboard behind me, the desk that seats me, three smaller desks in front of me, but Satoru is nowhere to be found.

Read Part 2 Here!

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glossglamour · 22 days

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Full Robert Sean Leonard 'House'-a-palooza Interview: "As we know, I’m straight, but yeah, it’s like, homina homina homina."

May 01 2006 | By Maureen Ryan

Do you watch the show much?

"I can't watch it. I mean, Hugh doesn't watch it because he's anal and … eight years old. [laughs] And by the way, I don’t buy it, I think he does watch it.

“I watched in the first year. We live in New York and [my fiancé] was in California] and she likes it because I’m on it. But then she left, she had to come back to New York, and what are you going to do? The idea of me watching myself on TV, alone in Santa Monica, was just about... just short of, like, a bottle of Maker’s Mark and a shotgun away from shooting myself. [much laughter] So I haven’t watched it all season. But when I have watched it, I’ve been mildly confused and Hugh is appropriately grumpy."

I have this theory that a lot of my favorite shows aren’t even about what they’re supposed to be about -- they have to be set in a hospital or police station or outer space or whatever because the network can market that, but they’re secretly not even about that. Like, “House” is really about ethics and morality.

“Yeah, sure, I think that’s true.”

But you can’t pitch that show to the network. “Hey, we have this great show that examines personal morality!"

“‘It’s based on “A View from the Bridge.”’

Right! They’re really going to for that.

“Yeah. [laughs] I think it’s good, and when it’s right, when the show works, the mystery works. It has a Sherlock Holmes-ian feel to it, and you do kind of want to know what’s wrong with [the patients]. And it is interesting, the turns and twists that get you there. And there’s always a little bit of character-driven fun stuff in between, of who these people are and how they affect each other. And that’s it at its best. And I guess that could be true of any show.

“It’s tricky, you’ve got a lead character [who’s different from the TV norm] and you’ve got to be careful because those characters can be one-note. He’s the cranky guy, he’s the Australian guy, I’m the friend in one or two scenes a week. You just have to be careful, and I think we are, we have a really great team of writers. And the numbers are building, people are watching.”

So this two-parter on May 2 and 3, I think the unofficial subtitle is the “Festival of Foreman.” I guess they’re his Emmy episodes, and that’s fine. But you’re hardly in them, what’s up with that?

“Honestly, I’m okay. I don’t want an Emmy. This is what I want -- I know exactly what I want. I did play with a guy named Skip Sudduth, ‘The Iceman Cometh,’ seven years ago. I saw him five years later, and I said, ‘Geez, Skip, where have you been? I don’t see you at readings anymore.’ He said, ‘I’ve been on “Third Watch.”’ It sounded familiar but I’d never seen it. He said, ‘I’ve been doing it for five years.’ I said, ‘Holy crap!’ And he was back doing theater. That’s my dream.

“And it’s happening. I walk down the street and people say, ‘Where are you?’ and I say, ‘I’m on this show called “House.”’ My friend Lewis Black [from 'The Daily Show'] said, ‘What is it called? “Head”?’

“I’m okay. I’ve never been happier than where my career is now. And I don’t want it to change necessarily. Money’s good, and I’m glad I’m getting that, and I’m putting it away for later in life when I do more Tom Stoppard plays at Lincoln Center and make no money. But really, I’m great. I don’t mind working two days a week.

“Because those other guys, the Scooby gang, or the Mod Squad -- they are at that studio for 16 hours a day saying ‘tachycardia, lupus, blablahdeblah.’ Honestly, I’d kill myself if had to do those scenes for that long. I’m very happy with the size of my role, I don’t want it to get any bigger. I’m happy.”

So we won’t see the very special “House” episode where Dr. Wilson almost dies?

“That might be how I get off the show.” [laughs]

Well, you could die and come back as a ghost. Then it would be the “House Whisperer.”

“Yeah [laughs]. The hair makeup people were saying one day, ‘Oh, I love those scenes with you and Hugh, there should be more of that.’ And I’m like, ‘Shhh! Don’t say that!’ I’m the luckiest man in Hollywood. I work only with Hugh, pretty much, who’s great. And I work two days a week.”

Do you fly back and forth to New York then?

"No, not really. They don’t let me because they need me around, the schedule changes so much. I’m going to try to get away with that a little more [in the upcoming season]. Now that [my fiancé] is here, I really will kill myself if I’m out there as much as I was last year, without her.”

So five days a week you’re doing what – Botox injections? Going to the mall? Watching “Maury”?

“Rob Lowe once said the secret to being an actor in L.A. is sleeping as late as you possibly can and going to be as early as possible. I remember him saying, ‘I recommend pajamas by 4:30 p.m.’”

What’s interesting about this show is that they’re taken something that could be a very formulaic procedural and quite often turn it on its head.

“I didn’t know anything about TV, I’d never done [a TV show], but I now know very well that there are procedurals and character-driven shows. ‘Law & Order’ is a procedural and ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ is a character-driven show. The test [as to which category a show is in], someone once said to me, which I thought was hysterical, is this question: Did Sam Waterston sleep with [the assistant DA] on ‘Law & Order’? If the answer is ‘I don’t give a [hoot], I want to know the next element of the case,’ then it’s a procedural.

“Our show is weirdly, and there must be precedent for this, but it’s weirdly equally both. I think it’s very much a procedural, and without that sick patient every week, we wouldn’t work. And without the character stuff it wouldn’t work. And weirdly, people do care if House sleeps with one of our characters, and also care equally what’s wrong with this person and how they’re going to solve the case.”

I guess I like the character stuff better, but you’re right, it probably wouldn’t work without the suspense of the weekly case and somebody being critically ill.

“No, I think you need that. I think the echoes of Sherlock Holmes are too strong. The original idea of the show was House and Wilson, like Holmes and Watson. But it got away from that, and his team is Watson, if you want to be technical about it.

“I’m more like … the only way I’ve found to define it, and it’s so pretentious that it makes me want to jump out a window, is like King Lear’s fool. I’m like the only one who tells him the truth. And [Wilson] has nothing to lose. I don’t work for him and he doesn’t work for me. I’m the only character who chooses to be with him as opposed to being there because of a job. And because of that I have the freedom to tell him what I think. Not that Cuddy holds back much.”

I think her role is to say, "No! Bad House!"

“Have you talked to Lisa Edelstein [who plays Cuddy]? She’s so great. This Japanese woman once said to her, ‘You on “ER”!’ And she said, ‘I have been on “ER,” but now I’m on “House.”’ And [the woman says] ‘Oh yes, “House.” You say, “No, you don’t!”’ Every time we do the table read, I burst into laughter at some point, because there is the voice of that woman in my head, ‘You say “No, you don’t!”’ That’s the entire definition of Lisa’s character. Not completely, but we laugh [about it]. We have the same dilemma. We’re on this show that we’re … kind of on. Crew members say, ‘How long have you been on the show?’ ‘Uh, since the pilot.’ They really don’t know what we’re doing there.”

So in terms of the other stuff going on in your career, that’s going well, all the theater stuff?

“I’ve achieved everything I wanted to do. When I was growing up, I wanted to be Kevin Kline, Sam Waterston. I grew up watching the Public Theater and Shakespeare in the park and Marion Seldes. I mean, I may as well be gay.”

I’m not entirely sure you’re not.

[laughs] “But the thing is, I got it [i.e. his goals]. I’ve done 14 Broadway shows and got a Tony award, and now I’m making money and no one even really knows. I’m getting away with murder. If I come back to New York in two years and nothing’s changed, I’ll be thrilled. All I really want to do is [act in] plays, play with my dog, have kids. My desires are pretty simple. I don’t really want to do movies anymore. I’m pretty tired of camera acting.”

Why are you tired of camera acting? Is it the repetition of it?

“No, no, quite the opposite. We don’t rehearse enough. We do scenes where people barely know their lines, where people just about know their lines. In theater, you do it so many times and you get so familiar that then you can actually start having fun with it. And I really miss that feeling.

“It’s true of films too. I don’t know. I think I’m fine on film, but … I have walked offstage and thought, ‘Wow, no one has done that better. People may have done it as well, but not better.' I’ve actually had that feeling after ‘Long Day’s Journey Into Night,’ or a Shaw play or whatever. I’ve never felt that way with film. I always feel like, ‘Boy, Donald Sutherland would have done that a lot better.’ [laughs] I just don’t think it’s what I do best. I think I’m fine, but there are people who are eerily good at it. In all humility, of which I have none [laughs], that’s how I feel about my work on stage. I really do feel that I’m gifted at it.”

Just to change gears completely, what happens in the finale?

“Well, I think the finale is a bit of a cliffhanger. Something very exciting happens. It’s extremely exciting and freaky and I think it’s great. I can’t say what it is. You end this season very curious about how the next season is going to start. It’s a great final show and a big cliffhanger.”

So it seems like Hugh Laurie is so disparaging of his own talents. But he’s so good as House.

“Some people ask me, ‘Oh, why does Wilson want to hang out with House so much?’ and I’m like, ‘You idiot.’ [laughs] House is designed to be attractive! He’s brilliant, he’s self-deprecating, he has a limp. But yeah, Hugh hates himself and he’s very funny about it. There’s no better combination in my book. Like Lewis Black.”

But as an acting partner, he’s good to work with?

“Oh yeah. The thing is, with this part, Hugh has a huge obstacle he has to deal with, having an American accent. His problem isn’t our problem. We as the audience don’t have that problem, because what he doesn’t know is that he does it perfectly. But of course he doesn’t hear that. That’s why he can’t watch the show.

“When you’re doing an accent, you don’t feel like you’re interesting in the role. Even if everyone around is telling you that you are. And to be in a play is one thing, but to be on TV show that runs for years, I don’t know how he’s going to do it. To be that hard on yourself and be that disappointed in your own work. But as I said, and underline this four times, he’s wrong.”

And then he obviously hates when anyone calls him a sex symbol. You read his quotes when people ask him about that stuff and you can feel the embarrassment rising off the page.

“Yeah, he hates that stuff. And even more than the ‘sexy’ stuff, he hates the ‘you’re brilliant’ stuff. Of course there’s a part of him that likes him, there’s a part of all of us that likes that. [But him being hard on his performance], it’s not false vanity.

“I think Hugh does work he’s proud of and does work he thinks is good, I’m just not sure it’ll ever be this [show]. Having an accent… acting is letting go and forgetting yourself, it’s the opposite of ego. It’s flying away and getting away from yourself and forgetting. And when you’re doing an accent, it’s virtually impossible to do that.

“It’s hard when you're in a play, doing the same lines, the same way for eight months. Hugh learns 72 new lines a day and has to put an American accent on them. It really is an actor’s nightmare. I’ve done [with accents] Brian Friel plays, Martin Sherman plays, Tom Stoppard plays, and maybe five months into it you have a night where you kind of feel OK and kind of forget the accent and let go and let the scene happen. To have a strange accent in your mouth while playing a role, and then be judged for it, that’s hard stuff.

“And can I tell you, when you have dinner with Hugh Laurie [speaking in his real accent]… I miss that voice.”

Yeah. He called me once directly for an interview. I was expecting the publicist to put him through, but it was just that voice on the phone. I was sort of thrown for a minute.

“As we know, I’m straight, but yeah, it’s like, homina homina homina.” [laughs]

---- [source (part 2)] | part 1 | part 3 ---

it took me two hours to track this interview down. it might be the longest one he's ever done. first i tracked it down to tumblr pages posting about it with no source please stop doing that. then i found a short youtube video of laurie saying "homina homina" on an snl skit i think and someone in the comments mentioned the site where the rsl interview was posted. however the site wouldn't let me in, i guess they took it down so i headed to archive dot org. i didn't have a specific link though so that didn't really work out either. then for nearly an hour i tried a wide range of word combinations on google until i stumbled upon a livejournal page of rpf hugh laurie/rsl fanfic. SOMEONE tysm karaokegal posted the exact link i was looking for in the comments. quick trip to the wayback machine and here you go!

i should be on those ethical hacking competition things

#house md #hatecrimes md #gg.txt #robert sean leonard #rsl #interview #source hunting success #hugh laurie #james wilson #gregory house #i nearly went insane #trying to find this thing #part 3 is an interview w katie jacobs #part 1 is general quotes #muted

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i-heart-hxh · 7 months

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So, a few days ago I found this post on Reddit from 2 years ago (that sadly barely got any attention at the time) that sheds a ton of light on the separation scene between Gon and Killua, and my mind is blown! I've known for years that there was some sort of Togashi "coding" in the dialogue and it was always like I could get halfway to understanding, but this post gives the rest of the puzzle pieces that I was missing, and ties into other scenes that I was uncertain about the meaning of as well. It's heartbreaking, but also hopeful for their future! I had to share it with you all. Please read it!

The original Reddit post has been deleted, but here is a link to the author's Reddit profile. (I received permission from the original author to post this here.)

In-Depth analysis on the Hidden Reasons behind Gon & Killua's separation scene (ep 147) Why Gon is 'Number 2'

The translations across the separation scene in both manga (chp 338) and the anime (ep 147, 2011) have some shortfalls. These dialogues are vital for understanding even the first layer of reasons behind this separation.

REASONS FOR KILLUA'S DELICATELY PLANNED SEPARATION

1. WHEN -

There are very important reasons why Killua picked a specific timing to tell Gon about Alluka. It was Killua's plan all along, to only tell Gon at a moment's notice, to make sure Gon won’t get time to ask any DETAILS. He is deliberately downplaying the seriousness of everything he’s been through to heal Gon, so it will have less impact on Gon, and at the same time, avoid Gon asking details. Prior to healing Gon, Killua specifically asked Morel and Leorio to promise not to tell Gon that he saved him. After Gon was healed, there was a scene in the anime (ep 148) which showed the three spent a night together before reaching the World Tree. During that time, Killua still haven't said anything. It wasn't until the moment when they were literally saying the last goodbye, Killua casually brought up:

“Oh, by the way, this guy healed you."

I want to emphasis the word Killua used to address Alluka was “こいつ”. This is a very light and overly casual word used to address someone you know, and usually a playful guy friend (e.g. “This guy used to be my neighbour.” type of feeling). The manga and anime translation, “She’s the one that healed you,” did not clearly depict the intentional casualness.

2. WHAT was SAID -

If Killua just doesn’t want to burden Gon with guilt and responsibility, then why not just keep his mouth shut and say nothing? That’s because Killua found a better option than not telling Gon anything. Killua shifted the “priority of reasons” a bit, so the VERSION OF EVENTS he told Gon, was PRIORITIZED on Alluka’s rescue rather than healing Gon. This way, they will also get to THANK Gon, and put an emphasis on thanking Gon because Killua make it SEEMED like it was more important to rescue Alluka, that the INITIAL REASON for Killua to go home, was to rescue Alluka. Only AFTER Alluka was freed, they came to the hospital to heal Gon, out of convenience, since only Alluka has the ability to do so, and since she’s now outside. The MAIN motive for these past events has been delicately swapped around by Killua, so the focus switched to the rescue of Alluka, rather than healing Gon. Hence Alluka is “No. 1”, Gon is “No. 2”. Downplaying it so healing Gon was just a bonus convenience (ep 147, 19:12 to 19:51).

Killua then goes on another level to make this version of events seem even more realistic, by saying “….You owe me a lot now,” in a teasing and playful tone of voice. This is to again, downplay the seriousness of everything he’s been through, to comfort Gon that "Yes you owe me one now, but don’t you worry! I will make sure you pay it back okay?! Hehe!”

3. WHY -

The fight with Pitou allowed Killua to witness Gon's ultimately immature mind set when it comes to “repaying someone, and redeeming himself.” Kite lost an arm and his life to protect him. So Gon gave his life and was even more happy when Pitou took his arm too. Gon will always want to “match” what was sacrificed by another, by throwing away AT LEAST the same. Not “sacrificing”, but THROWING AWAY. It’s so immature, so dangerous, no one will be able to keep up with him. Killua was very confident with how much he could take, but even Killua himself is at limit. This ultimate baka!! (ep 136, 17:50 - 20:17)

If this is how far Gon will go for Kite, he can only imagine what Gon would go recklessly into if he knew the DETAILS. This is when Killua decided on a way to part with Gon the way they did, and to PROVIDE him a particular REASON.

“I’m prepared to spent the rest of my life protecting her.”

This is the reason Killua wants Gon to know, but NOT what he actually wants to do with his life. Although it’s true he feels responsible and genuinely wish to protect Alluka and Nanika, but it’s not what he ultimately WANTS to do. He NEEDS to protect Alluka, but he WANTS to spent his entire life by the side of a certain baka…

After the previous events, Killua was traumatized, especially when he saw Gon's twisted decaying arm. That was a breaking point for him, after that, the only thing that matters THE MOST for him is for Gon to be safe. He also realized that in order to protect this baka... it’s better if he keeps a distance for now, until he finds a solution to keep Alluka safe from Illumi and his family.

4. THE PARTING -

By planning this parting with Gon, Killua hopes Gon will become detached from him. And that time and distance will slowly render him less important to Gon. So if he was to die... (because Illumi is hunting them down) he did for Alluka, he did it for the vow to protect Alluka, not Gon. We knew Killua always plans ahead, and here, he plants this reason for Gon in the future so he won’t need to feel responsible if he was to die protecting Alluka (or die with Alluka while Illumi is hunting them). This is what’s going through Killua’s head:

“If I die, you’re not responsible for anything. You don’t owe me anything, so NEVER throw your life away again. My only one wish, is for you to be safe. So here I am. I’m parting ways with you... Because I SAID you are only ... No. 2 ... I SAID you are not the most important to me.. So don’t think of me as the most important to you too….”

This, is Killua’s eternal Devotion.

5. THE RESULT -

As a result of this deliberate planning by Killua,

Gon was made to believe:

While I was recovering in hospital Killua had to go home and rescue his sister

Alluka is such a cute sister and she can grant Killua any wish?!!! Wow…that’s one cool sister…

Well… no wonder Killua thinks his cool sister is more important than me, it’s only natural.

Looks like Killua finally found what he wants to do. He will enjoy traveling the world with such a cool sister, it will be so much fun. I should be happy for him, I can’t hold him here... I have to let him go…

The DETAILS omitted:

Gon was not recovering at all in the hospital. Killua RESORTED to USE Alluka in order to heal Gon.

Alluka’s blood stained dark past and the risks and uncertainty that still involves.

Baka Gon is always No. 1 !

Killua and Alluka are desperately trying to find a way to out of Illumi’s grasp. Illumi is hunting them down and trying to make Killua his puppet again. And this time it's not going to be just a needle in the head... Killua can feel it. And if things doesn’t work out, he will just kill Alluka.

These Reasons are the core of the separation. We have a song named “Reason”… aren’t the lyrics shedding a new layer of light now?

6. IMPORTANT WORDS ALLUKA USED TO FACILITATE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP AFTER REUNION -

Killua promised to “always be together” with Alluka.

But to this promise, Alluka’s response was always silent (episode 145, 3:32 to 4:19). She looked at Killua with deep thought. Because even in such a short amount of time, she realized Killua is doing all this to ALSO or MORE SO protect Gon. It was never just for her, it will never be just for her, and there will never be anyone more important than Gon for Killua. She’s moved by Killua’s devotion and resolve, and she can also feel his sadness…

If, the situation was different, if Gon was never there to begin with, and Killua just happened to solely come to Alluka’s rescue, and then make a promise to stay together with her forever, Alluka’s natural reaction will be melting with happiness, she’d be crying tears of joy, and hugging Killua. But in this instance, she was composed, she sensed her brother’s deep seriousness and sadness. That’s why later on, she reassured the two at parting, that they will see each other again, without disclosing Killua’s true REASONS.

The Exacted words Alluka used (Manga chpt 338, 2011 anime epi 147)

a. Manga translation: “I’m going to HUG my brother for a while and then I will LET HIM GO.”

b. Better translation: “I’m going to have my brother all to myself for a while and then I will let him free.”

c. The exacted phrase: “I’m going to Monopolise my brother Exclusively for a period of time, then I will Release him.”

独り占 (Monopolise Exclusively)

Very strong characters with Explicit meaning. Have it all to oneself. Same characters and meaning used in Chinese as well. （独占）

解放 (Release)

This is much more formal and serious than “let go”. It implies the subject was initially bound/locked/restricted. Also the same characters and meaning used in Chinese.

Alluka employed these words to imply a forceful lead in this “deal” of owning Killua exclusively. These words have an underlying tone of enslavement.

Why? Because Alluka knows, the harder she IMPOSES herself on Killua during their time together, the more effective it would be on the easing of Killua’s own guilt.

Killua felt immensely guilty.

No one will enjoy a relationship bound by guilt.

Alluka knows clearly that part of her brother’s promise, was formed with guilt, from using her and Nanika, that he was having fun with Gon while Alluka was literally forgotten. Although it's true that this was largely due to Illumi's manipulation, but the fact that he did just left her in the basement all this time was both unacceptable and unforgivable to Killua himself (episode 138, 13:28).

Therefore apart from protecting Gon, this was the other important reason for this separation. Almost as if Killua has accepted this as a befitting price to pay in order to redeem himself as a brother.

Alluka and Nanika have no condition nor demand in return for Killua’s requests. But Killua imposed a price on himself for having Gon healed. Out of guilt. Alluka knows, Nanika knows. That’s why Alluka used the word 解放 (release), because it will make Killua feel better, that he has complied with her ‘enslavement’, so when the time comes, Killua will be able to release HIMSELF from guilt, and go back to Gon, properly. Alluka loves her brother, and she’s prepared to help him towards a better relationship with Gon in the future, by helping him to eliminating this chain of guilt.

lol Alluka totally ships Gon and Killua ! XD

Thank you for reading.

#hunter x hunter #hxh #killugon #gonkillu #gon #killua #alluka #meta #PLEASE read this post if you have lingering questions and confusion about the separation!#like most of us do!#I think it's incredibly helpful and explains so much #having this makes a big difference to me in how I interpret the meaning and reasons for the separation #and what Togashi did and did not tell us with it

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foxcantswim · 6 months

Text

FNAF Movie / / Vanessa x F!Reader

[Not Your Fault Part 2]

Vanessa still couldn't believe you took the stab for her... She does something unthinkable after learning about your fate. Content: Angst, Hurt, Vanessa embracing her Afton bloodline Warnings: Dead Body, Implied Blood WC: 1,340

part 1

Vanessa couldn't remember how long she had been sitting in this chair, with her head in her hands. Her fingers were coated in her dried up tears, new ones still flowing as time went on. Her heart had been beating rapidly for the past hour now, her mind was muddled unsure of what to do next.

Sitting in this hospital room was torture, she had been given space to be with you alone.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," she whispered with a choked sob.

Of course you had succumbed to your wounds, the flatline still rang loud inside of Vanessa's head - she was at least thankful she was there for you when you passed. You had slipped unconscious back at the pizzeria a few days ago and hadn't woken up since, the blonde had prayed you would so she could tell you how she felt.

Mike was here a couple hours before you slipped away, Vanessa had shot him a quick message to let him know. The apologies he offered flooded through quickly, he had asked if Vanessa wanted him there for but comfort but she flat out refused. He didn't push further and left her alone, he went to sit in his kitchen and mourn in his own way. He saw you as a close friend after all, he'd be lying if he didn't have some sort of crush on you.

Vanessa's throat was dry after the sheer amount of sobs and tears that had left her, she felt the dehydration set in a while ago but her body refused to move.

She would never forgive her father for what he had done. For years he had gotten away with the monstrous things he had done, her own fear stopped her from speaking up. That's why she became a cop, to protect others and save others... hopefully to make up for the crimes she had been helping her father hide.

Sometimes she hated having Afton blood flowing through her veins.

Her thoughts drifted towards her father's fate, the one he truly deserved. Those poor children trapped within the animatronics forever. But at least they got their revenge, trapping William Afton with them for all eternity. She was sure they would torture his soul, they may be kids but they weren't afraid to take him down and make him pay for what he had done.

Trapped in that suit forever. Vanessa couldn't help but laugh.

Trapped in that suit forever.

She finally snapped her head up to look at you lying in the hospital bed. A fresh wave of tears formed in her eyes as she stood up and moved towards the door. She glanced back at you before reaching into her back pocket, her fingers finally landed on her police badge that she carried with her at all times.

She brought it up to her face and ran her fingers along it. Too many thoughts were in her head right now, she didn't know which one to listen to.

The power of her status as a cop was about to help her out. She decided to follow her heart, instead of a brain. That my have been a bad idea on her part, though.

The long black bag was placed on the hard floor. Vanessa was running on pure adrenaline as she moved further into the storage room.

She had used her police status to convince to hospital staff that your body was needed for a criminal investigation. Was it highly illegal? Yes. Did she care? Not really.

Getting the body bag into her cop car had been a struggle at first, but she had finally made it back to the pizzeria within the next couple of hours. The place was pretty much destroyed on the inside, the outside still remained intact. She was extremely worried about running into her father again, but she was willing to risk it. For you.

Her eyes landed on the thing she had been looking for, a sinister smile crept onto her face as she moved closer.

She dragged the huge item back towards the body bag on the other side of the storage room.

"I'll help you, Y/N," Vanessa promised, "I can put you back together."

It was a suit. An animatronic suit. A dark purple and black rabbit suit.

Unzipping the bag caused her fingers to shake, she was not prepared to see you again in such a cold state. But she had to push through, she had to do this. She had to.

She successfully separated the pieces of the animatronic suit, her hands flinched away from you briefly before she took a deep breath and decided to just get it over with. She couldn't waste anymore time, she didn't know how much she had left.

Your legs were stuffed into the animatronic first, then Vanessa placed the body part on top of you - making sure your arms were secured properly. Some of the springlocks inside the suit had been set off, causing even more damage to your body. Vanessa tried her hardest to not let the view affect her.

She licked her dry lips before leaning forward to kiss you on the forehead. A tear slipped down her cheek at the feeling of your cool skin.

"You'll be okay, Y/N. We'll be okay."

Then she finally placed rabbit mask over your head.

She stood up and looked down at her work. The purple animatronic lay motionless on the floor, sitting up against the wall. Vanessa tried to control her breathing as she waited.

"Come on... Come on..." she pleaded. Her mind was telling her this was so wrong, but her heart would not listen.

She waited for a couple minutes. She looked down in defeat, ready to scream about how this was so unfair. But that's when she saw it. She saw a single finger of the suit twitch ever so slightly.

A gasp escaped her as she stepped closer, "Y/N?"

The dark hollow eyes of the animatronic soon came to life, a singular white dot in each glowing bright.

The fact that it had worked was a complete shock to her.

A slight twinge of fear flowed throughout her as she continued to watch the rabbit move on the floor, each twitch becoming more noticeable...

You wiggled your fingers, not really grasping what was going on right now. You started to panic, wanting to shout out... But your voice refused to work. You looked around as best you could before deciding to rise to your feet.

"Y/N..." Vanessa.

You turned to see the blonde, who was much shorter than you remember? You soon realised that in fact you were the one who was much taller than usual.

"Is... Is that really you?" she said, her voice shaking, "Come on, give me a sign."

This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.

You reached forward to grab Vanessa, wanting to demand what she had done. WHY HAD SHE DONE THIS?

But nothing. No voice.

All the blonde did in response to you grabbing her was pull you into a hug as best she could, her small arms wrapped around the large animatronic suit.

"I told you we'd be okay. I'm so happy you're here, Y/N. We'll figure this out together."

You wanted to cry, wanted to scream, wanted to ask why.

Your(?) arms started to move instinctively and pulled the woman tighter into the hug.

Vanessa couldn't help but cry, the happiest of tears flowing down her cheeks at the miracle she had created.

Sometimes she loved having Afton blood flowing through her veins.

If only Vanessa could hear how you were screaming inside your own head. Surely a peaceful death was much better than spending an eternity trapped in a suit.

Taglist: @marvelwomen-simp ; @emiliaisdead

#fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf vanessa #vanessa shelly #vanessa shelly x reader #mike schmidt #fnaf fanfic #vanessa monroe

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togrowoldinv · 7 months

Text

Heartbeat

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

When Yelena gets in a car accident, you reunite with her and her sister after years of not seeing each other

Note: I love Natasha and I love Yelena so here’s this. Enjoy!

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 1, Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 2, Main Masterlist

When you got a call in the middle of the night, you knew it was nothing good. You listened carefully as the doctor told you that your best friend had been in a car accident.

Your brain racked as you tried to think of who that might be. Then she told you her name. Yelena. You haven’t seen her in years, but you are still her emergency contact in her phone. Nothing truly went wrong in your friendship. Just childhood friends who grew apart.

No matter the distance between you, you got in your car and drove to the hospital. Three hours later you pulled into the parking lot. They told you Yelena was still in surgery, so you settled in the waiting room.

That was almost five hours ago now. The doctor enters the room finally. You stand to greet her.

“Yelena is in recovery now,” the woman says. “It’ll be a long road, but she is expected to make a full recovery.”

“Oh, thank god,” you breathe out. “Can I see her?”

The doctor nods and leads you to her room. You take a few deep breaths before you enter. You haven’t seen her in three years, but she still looks like the same girl that you once knew.

Her green eyes open a few moments later. She groans in pain slightly before her attention falls on you. You walk closer to her.

“Y/n?” She asks. You nod. “What happened?”

“You were in an accident,” you explain. “I don’t know many details, but the doctors say you’ll make a full recovery.”

“Okay,” she says. “Okay, and you’re here because?”

“You must have had me listed in your phone as an emergency contact,” you say, shrugging. You really don’t know why.

“Did you call Natasha?” Yelena asks.

Natasha. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about her in years. You always admired her so much and felt so safe in her presence. But she and Yelena didn’t have the easiest relationship. It’s been so long since you last saw the redhead. Close to eight years. You miss her.

“Oh, um, no,” you say. “You two are talking again?”

Yelena nods. That’s good, you think. They need each other to really be happy. That was always the truth.

“I can call her,” you tell Yelena. You make a move to step out of the room, but Yelena reaches out for you.

“Y/n,” Yelena says. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, Yel,” you say, tears fill your eyes.

You pull her into a soft hug. You didn’t realize how much you missed her until you held her in your arms. Every memory of your life together passes through your mind as you squeeze her.

“I’m hungry,” Yelena mumbles into your shoulder. You can’t help but laugh. Still the very same Yelena.

“I’ll get you food and call Nat, okay? Be right back.”

You step into the hallway and feel your pulse quicken as you click on Natasha’s name in your contacts. Truthfully, you always hoped Nat would confess her love for you, and you’d live happily ever after. But you never so much have kissed the girl.

The phone rings for a few moments and you begin to wonder if she’ll pick up. Maybe she sees your name and decides not to answer. But your what-iffing stops when Nat answers the phone.

“Hello,” Nat answers. The sound of her voice threatens to make your heart stop.

“Hi- um- hi Natasha,” you say. “I don’t know how to say it so I will just go for it. Yelena was in an accident, but she’s okay. She asked for you, so I called.”

“Where is she?” Natasha asks. You hear some bustling on her end of the line.

“We’re at the hospital.”

“I’m on my way,” Natasha replies. And that’s the end of the call.

You get Yelena some food before you go back to her room. Inside, you catch up with her. Things have been good for both of you. She is an accomplished veterinarian. You knew she would be successful.

You’re laughing about some old joke when Natasha arrives. She walks to Yelena quickly and hugs her sister. You stand back, letting them have a moment. They speak for a moment in Russian before Natasha looks to you.

To your surprise, she rounds the beds and pulls you into a hug. You bury your face in her neck and soak up her touch. She is warm and smells like the fruity hair products she must use. She pulls away but moves her hands to your face.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Natasha says. She always used to call you that. Her thumbs brush over your cheeks. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too, Natasha,” you say. You get lost looking into her green eyes. She looks older but in the perfect way.

Yelena coughs to break the moment up between you and Natasha. The older sister drops her hands from your face and turns her attention back to Yelena.

“You should get some sleep, Yelena. That surgery was intense,” Natasha says.

“Such a mom,” Yelena grumbles.

“And a doctor,” Natasha adds. She pulls the covers up Yelena’s body. “We’ll go get some lunch. See you in a bit.”

You follow Natasha out of the room. She knows where to go to the cafeteria, and you put two and two together.

“You work here?” You ask Nat.

“I do,” she replies. “Well, from time to time. I travel for work, but this is technically my home hospital.”

“I didn’t even know you were a doctor,” you say.

“Heart surgeon,” Natasha says. She doesn’t seem phased by how your mouth opens in shock. “What do you do for work?”

You tell Nat about your career and what you’ve been up to. For some reason, it doesn’t feel difficult to talk to her. It’s like no time has gone by. You eat lunch together and continue to catch up.

“I’m glad to see you and Yelena are close again,” you say.

“Yeah,” Natasha says. “I guess last time you saw me Yelena and I were on some rocky ground.”

“You had a big fight. Five years at least of no talking,” you remind her.

“It was six years and four months,” Natasha recounts.

“What happened?”

“The same thing as always, you know. Melina and Alexei. Yelena always keeps things lighter with them, and I was pissed. Until I wasn’t,” Natasha says. “My girlfriend at the time, Wanda, helped me realize how important it was to be talking to my sister.”

“That’s good, Nat. Yel has always needed you to be at her happiest.”

Nat nods. “And she needs you too, y/n. She cried about missing you,” Nat explains.

“I didn’t know that,” you say quietly. Nat scoots her chair closer to yours.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I know you held her when she cried about me too.”

You did that. Many many times. Nat reaches and takes your hand. She helps you stand up. You follow her down the hallway and into what appears to be a breakroom.

“Did you ever find that person you dreamed about?” Natasha asks.

Her words seem random until you remember the nights you spent with her on the roof of your parents' house. You told her that you dreamed of loving someone and having someone love you back purposefully. She agreed that it was what she wanted too.

“No,” you answer. “Did you?”

“Maybe,” Natasha answers. “But I’m still waiting to see if she loves me back.”

“Oh, well, I hope that she does,” you answer. Nat steps closer to you, and she takes your face in her hands again.

“I hope she does, too,” Natasha says. She leans in, and her lips are inches from touching yours. “Do you love me, y/n?”

“I love you, Natasha,” you whisper.

Natasha’s lips brush against yours softly. You really start to kiss her back when her phone goes off. You wish she would ignore it, but she pulls away.

“Shit,” Natasha says. “It’s Yelena.”

“Does that mean-”

“I’m the cardio surgeon on call,” Natasha says. “Let’s go.”

She leads you out of the breakroom and to the operating room waiting area. Natasha leaves you there as she disappears behind the doors.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #soft natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff comfort #yelena belova #yelena belova x reader #sorry for the ending #or am I?

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blingblong55 · 8 months

Text

Did you care?- König

Part 1 is here

F!Reader, angst, no happy ending, cheating

"König!" you laugh, the waves of the warm summer ocean crashing against you. His family had invited you with them that summer, the first girl he ever brought home. He never told you that though. "Oh my Liebling." he laughs with you, taking you deeper into the ocean. It was then that he knew how strong love can be. Hours later, as you chased his little nieces and nephew along the shore, his family told him something he still remembers.

The accident, that is when you knew he still cared. At the age of 37, that is when he became a father to a woman he never loved. A car crash and stitches, that is what brought you to him. A father and a boyfriend, never to marry anyone else that isn't you, that is what made him a coward to his girlfriend's family. "R/N, König has gotten into a car accident." his mother called you around 2 am, her voice so tired and filled with fear. You dropped everything, including the late-night dinner you were having with your then-partner.

"Love, where are you going?" he questioned you. "A friend needs me, she...she broke up with her boyfriend and she needs me." The first of many lies you told to keep him safe. You didn't cheat but you lied to visit the guy you will always love. As you drove to the hospital, tears ran down your face. It was fear, regret and shame. "Hallo, ich muss einen Patienten finden-"

"R/N." his mother came rushing to you, tears on her face. You hugged her and walked with her to the waiting area. His father was there as well, you hugged him too and after minutes of breaks and cries, the story lay in your hands. The mother of his child ran away with his kid, he begged and cried for her to return. She lost their kid, got arrested and after a week of looking, he heard his child was found. One drunk driver, that is all it took to have you sit there, holding the hand of his forlorn mother. His child was under the custody of the police and he was in a grey room.

"You think you'll ever end up marrying me, R/N?" he looked over at you as you hung up decorations for Christmas. "I don't see myself ever marrying and there are times I fear of it. Just know this, I know I am meant for someone." He nods and keeps the ring in his pocket tucked away. "Yeah." was all he answered. You looked at him as he looked away at some decoration.

"For you, that is who I am meant for. I don't want a ring, a dress or a ceremony, I want this, this life you and I already have." you wished to say but those words never came out. Month after month you gave him clear clues that you wanted to be the one he lived with, old and grey.

You didn't even notice when his parents had gone to his room. You sat and stared at the white wall. The two years and a half that you spent trying to forget him all come crashing down. One phone call from his mother and you were there at his disposal. Many ask, what parts of life flash before someone as they near their possible death? For him it was you. The day at the beach, Christmas, the drunk karaoke, silly argument over movies. "Harry and Sally stayed together!" you protested. "Mein Liebling, Harry and Sally are two of the people I know will not make it to old age together. It was a kiss, maybe Sally left after that."

The one thing that he knew flashed before his eyes was the conversation at the beach years ago. Once you were let into his room, you sat by his bed. Parents out in the hallways, you held his hand. Fear was to die alone but this image was the current fear. Tears ran down your face, it didn't matter that he cheated years ago, that you two hadn't spoken since but what mattered was him now. You stoked his hair and kissed his forehead with trembling lips. Before, you couldn't stand him, but he was in this world alive and that brought you tranquillity. The thought of him no longer in it, that was the fear. Who cared if he moved on, he was alive, healthy and happy.

The muse to the blues you whistled, the kiss he gave you on the mysterious bruise, the cliche dance in the kitchen at midnight, and now you sit there, looking at his scarred face. You whispered for only him to hear, "That evening in December, when you were going to propose, I would've said yes, I was meant for someone, remember?" You stood up and walked out of the room. "R/N, will you stay?" His father asks. "I'm sorry, I have to meet someone early in the morning but keep me updated." You kissed his father's cheek and hugged his mother.

Meanwhile, König lay in that bed, eyes teary as he heard your confession. The ring he wanted to give you was on a chain that hung by his neck. Always to be by his heart. "Liebling." he whispers. "I want to marry you, over and over again." That is a promise two young lovers made.

"When we get old, you and I better retell the story of us," you say as you lay in the green grass. "And I will tell it to you every night," König spoke softly. "Every night," he holds your hand. "I will always tell you the story of how I met the greatest thing in my life." He smiles and sighs happily, "And I'll make you fall in love with me all over again." He meant every word, he wanted the spark of love between them to never die, for them to always be in love. "I'll always fall in love with you as if it was the first time, every single time." He cared, more than you'll ever know.

"You never let her go, my son." his mother sternly says. He sighs and looks over at you, his youngest niece hung by his arms, his nephew chasing you both. The giggles from the children and your laughter, yeah, he wants that life with you. "You think she'll want to?" he asks his parents. "If not today or in a year, I know she will." He looks at the ring and nods. "When I marry her, can you both please not give a long speech?" This caused his parents to laugh and nod a little.

Maybe the movies and all the news articles are right, in some universe, you and him are together. And in that universe, he has his three kids, a wife and the picket fence to his home. A home with you, two hearts that beat for the other. He cares.

Tags: @sunshiinegaz @liyanahelena

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whimsicalwritingsandmore · 4 months

Text

Want You Back | ateez x reader

Pairing: werewolf!ot8!ateez x werewolf!reader

Genre: fluff mostly, romance, poly, a little angst?

Warnings for this chapter: yelling, Mrs. Kim has lost the plot...

Word Count: 1884 words

a/n: Happy New Year! <3 I'm excited to write more this year and bring more ideas to life! Now that the poll has closed, I'm happy to announce there will be a book 2! Here's a little update of my writing plans for the first part of the year. Happy reading! :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 9

Seonghwa didn’t believe in soul bonds initially. He thought it was a rather far-fetched idea that the relationship of two people was predestined and they were meant for each other. He lived life without even considering that there was someone out there for him and he might’ve just become a lone alpha leading his pack.

Then he met you.

But before you came, there was Yunho, who Seonghwa saw as a close and dear friend at first, who radiated kindness and warmth and balanced out Seonghwa’s realist attitude. In contrast to Seonghwa, Yunho believed in soul connections and would try to make Seonghwa see reason.

And finally, Seonghwa did, the day Mingi and Hongjoong rolled down the hill and knocked Yunho over.

It all happened so fast, Seonghwa wasn’t sure what to make of it. He was watching something in the window while Yunho went to throw out his trash. The next thing he knew, two people were tumbling towards him and he stepped out of the way, only for poor Yunho to face the impact and get knocked down like a bowling pin.

Then you rushed down the hill, calling out for Hongjoong and Mingi and nearly tripped on thin air. Being the gentleman he is, Seonghwa swiftly stepped forward to catch you and that was when he felt it, the exhilarating and momentous feeling electrifying every part of him as the two of you made contact.

He forgot about his friend on the floor alongside the other two as he finally believed that there is someone meant for him in this lifetime — that someone being you.

You opened up his heart and he was able to connect with all the other boys.

Now, here you were, in a hospital room. Chan knew a lot of people, and was able to get his friend Yuna to have you taken in the wing where supernatural beings were treated. It was a shadow hospital right behind the real one, just a few corridors away from the human side.

From the window, Seonghwa stood completely despondent and broken. He had failed you as a mate and as an alpha. He went against his better judgment and followed Hongjoong despite his instinct telling him something was wrong. He should’ve listened, maybe if he did, you wouldn’t be here in this position today. He was too scared to look at the others.

Wooyoung was bawling his eyes out while latched onto San whose eyes were puffy and red, Jongho was angry and wanted to punch something or someone, Yeosang had his head in his hands and Yunho, who had tears rolling down his cheeks and kept wiping them away, tried to console Mingi who kept whispering the words “You’re gonna be okay,” over and over again.

Hongjoong was nowhere to be found.

Seonghwa had a few choice of words to exchange with Hongjoong if he decided to show his face. Chan had Felix and Seungmin go back to the café to bring him here, but when the two walked through the door, they entered with no sign of Hongjoong.

“Where’s the traitor?”

“Jisung!”

“We don’t know,” Seungmin answered, “No one was there when we arrived.”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Felix continued, “He’s missing.”

Meanwhile, at the mansion, Mr Kim was furious. The only time he had been this angry was 25 years ago, and here he was again, furious and brimming with rage at the same person, just like 25 years ago.

"You've done it now Estelle!" Mr Kim’s voice boomed throughout the house.

He couldn’t believe what he just saw and heard. Mrs Kim stood shamelessly in the foyer conversing with a rogue about the results of the plan. A plan to get rid of you.

For Mrs Kim, she remembered vividly the day her husband denounced their bond. And she remembers her son bringing you home years after on the same day it happened. Something about the whole thing and seeing you so bright and cheery, sparked unsettling jealousy inside her and she could not come to terms with the idea of you leading a life that should’ve belonged to her.

She would not allow it.

She rathered her son to marry someone who she selected. As for the other boys, well, she would handle them after dealing with you.

On the other hand, Mr Kim was beyond infuriated. He had earnestly hoped she would step back from pestering you, but the fact that it had come to this…a clear threat on your life, it was unimaginable. And Mr Kim knew that if Hongjoong had put the pieces together, there was going to be hell on earth and someone would have to pay.

"It needed to be done! She argued, “Why are you constantly taking her side? You need a strong daughter-in-law!"

"She is strong. She's put up with you hasn't she? When Hongjoong gets to know..."

"He won't. I will explain it to him, he will understand, I did this all for him."

"Are you sure about that?" Hongjoong seethed.

Kim Hongjoong made a lot of mistakes up to this point. He wasn’t sure how he would even start to make up for it. He wasn’t even sure if he was worthy of redemption. But if there was at least one thing he could do right, it was to stand up to his mother and knock her off of her high horse.

“I cannot believe you tried to harm Y/N! Have you lost your damn mind!?” He screeched venomously.

“How dare you talk to your mother like that!?” Mrs Kim spat, “It’s all because of that low-class girl you—”

“NO!” Hongjoong roared, “Don’t even think of finishing that sentence. Low-class? You’re describing yourself mother, because time and time again you stooped so low to break her. And for what? For some petty and lame excuse you concocted to reason your past actions? You were the one who destroyed your chance at having a blissful life. WHY MUST MY MATES AND I SUFFER!?”

"Joongie..." Lila started.

When Lila heard Hongjoong’s voice, she was elated. She thought he finally came back to her after ending things with you.

Lila would be lying if she said she didn’t feel a twinge of guilt. She did — you were nothing but kind to her the first few times she interacted with you, even when you had found out about her and Hongjoong’s secret little rendezvous, she knew that you were aware yet you had plastered a brave face when you greeted her at pack banquets.

She saw the way you were loved, not only by your mates but by the pack — the pups, the mansion’s staff, the other packs. She overheard the way the little girls would gush about you — wanting to be like you when they grew up. She particularly saw the way one little girl would rush to you and open her arms wide indicating that she wanted you to hold her, and the way you two would spin around and swiftly move across the room, laughing and giggling in your own world. The first time she saw it, she noticed the way the boys would look at you with so much adoration and love, and how some of them, particularly Seonghwa would join you. The three of you looked like a perfect family.

Lila never had that. She had ended things with her mate after he chose someone else over her, and when her father sent her to your district and she met the boys, she wanted the life you had so badly.

But Lila was no fool, even though she managed to entice Hongjoong a bit, she knew his heart still and might only beat for you. She saw it clearly when she tried to touch his moon necklace that had your birthstone engraved, he stopped her hand so quickly and let out a warning growl. Although she knew what they had was superficial more than anything, she desperately hoped that he would see her as something more.

“Joong…” she softly called.

"NO! Don't you even dare Lila, it was a mistake on my part to give in, I should’ve faced my problems head on but I did what my mother did and came up with excuses."

"'I did it for you Hongjoong!” Mrs Kim bellowed, “Can’t you see that? You and Lila can rule this pack together, we can form an alliance with her pack and be even stronger amidst everyone!”

“All I see is a criminal in front of me. You’re power-hungry mother. And you only want that for yourself and your lover.”

“So what if I do? He loves me, your father doesn’t. Why should the person who genuinely cares for me suffer? Why should your father get everything?”

“Estelle…” Mr Kim was dumbfounded by her statements.

“Because my father worked for it! He built this pack from nothing, the mansion you live in now is because of him. It’s selfish of you to think your lover deserves it. The fact that you think you deserve something meant for someone else, makes you undeserving of everything you have at all, Mother.”

“NO! I deserve it more than anyone. And as my son you will -”

“When Chan briefly described the blade used, it dawned on me that’s our family’s heirloom, which meant you were behind it. AND I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THIS!!!” Hongjoong bellowed viciously, eyes turning his werewolf gold and his werewolf teeth beginning to protrude from all his rage.

“You are my son, and I will not let you be with someone who I do not accept. You will be with Lila, you will leave those boys and that girl and YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!” Mrs Kim screamed.

"No I will not. Let me make this clear mother, nothing will happen to Y/N, Y/N may never forgive me…and I may have to spend eternity making up for my sins, but I am willing to do so. And if I don't get to make amends because of what you did, I will personally see to it that your lover’s clan’s be demolished, the fact that he’s also a part of it and shakes hands under the table with rogues… I cannot wait to end him.”

“Wait that means...” Mr Kim said.

“The attack on the mansion that night? It was her and her lover’s plan. They riled up the rogues, made a few negotiations and sent them here to attack.”

“Joongie” Lila whimpered.

“How do you even know—”

“How do I know that? Someone helped me see reason, and he is also extremely livid right now. The both of us alone will bring terror to each and every one of them, add on the guys and Y/N’s other friends…that traitorous pack wouldn’t even stand a chance.”

Hongjoong turned to Lila who had tears in her eyes. He still chose you over her.

“It’s my fault too, but I’m going to do what’s right, I had told you this once before Lila, no one messes with my family, and your father made the worst mistake of his life.”

Hongjoong turned to leave, sparing a glance at his mother.

“I will right the wrongs committed by you mother…”

He breathed out heavily.

“That’s a promise.”

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