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angelikook · 3 years

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How to Find Your Soulmate

Pairing(s): Non-idol!Namjoon x reader

Genre: Tooth-rotting fluff, teensy bit of angst

Word Count: 10.2k

Warning(s): None

Summary: Where a journey to find his soulmate took a different turn.

A/n I wrote this as a spur in the moment thing, but it surprisingly came out really well.

The familiar sound of keys jiggling from his front door was a sure sign that he was about to lose whatever amount of peacefulness in his tiny apartment. As he braced himself for what was about to come, the door swung open and came in the person he had been waiting for.

Y/n was her name. Peculiar, wild, and random. Her hair basically could represent her entire personality. Unruly, messy, and out of control. She'd been a loner for most of her lifetime. Definitely a big believer in “I’m a strong independent woman who doesn’t need no man”.

It also came as a surprise to Namjoon when he couldn’t help but to be attached to her a long time ago when they were kids. And ever since that, he had gained a new best friend. Or more like the best friend since he didn’t have that many best friends to begin with.

“Joon, let’s go! We have things to do.” Y/n grabbed on his arm and tried to pull him up from his slouched position on his couch. The couch that became worn out so quickly for its rather frequent use whenever he was stressed.

In his defense, it wasn’t his fault that the couch was so comfy.

Failing to pull him up, Y/n groaned in frustration. “Come on! There’s a bazaar downtown that I wanna check. Can’t have me go alone at this time, right?”

“I don’t wanna get up. Let’s just watch Netflix,” he said as he turned on the TV.

Y/n snatched the remote from his hand and turned the TV back off. “Nope. Let’s go. Tomorrow is Saturday anyways, you can watch the TV all you want.”

Namjoon sighed. “What do I get for this?”

Y/n grinned and cupped her cheeks. “You get to spend time with me.”

“Ugh, I don’t want that,” he teased as he pulled himself up from the couch. “I'm tired of seeing your face.”

“You, mister.” She jabbed her finger at him. “Owe me a boba tea, remember? Now is the perfect time to redeem yourself.”

“Remind me not to wake you up again on Sunday mornings.” He shuddered at the memory of seeing bed headed Y/n screaming on top of her lungs, telling him not to wake her up from her beauty sleep or whatever.

“Are you seriously wearing that, though?” he asked as he eyed Y/n’s outfit.

She still wore the same outfit that she had worn since this morning. There was a noticeable coffee stain on her left cufflinks, indicating she probably had bumped her mug with her hand by accident. Her skirt was already crinkled especially on the bottom part. Disclaimer, he totally did not just check her out. Her heels made her feet red and look swollen. They clearly cut off her circulation, but somehow she insisted on wearing them anyways, claiming that she felt sexy and smart and beautiful in them.

“They look uncomfortable,” Namjoon had commented one day after noticing how her heels made Y/n walk weirdly. “Why don’t you just wear sneakers?”

Y/n scoffed, as if what he had said was ridiculous. “Real women don't wear sneakers to work, Joon.”

“Whatever you say, Y/n.” Namjoon had tried hard to stop the urge of rolling his eyes.

Ever since that, he didn’t even want to talk about her heels. “Let her suffer if she wanted that,” he always reminded himself.

Y/n walked to his full-length mirror inside his room and stared at herself. “What’s wrong with this?”

“Just change into more comfortable clothes,” Namjoon said from the living room. “You’d look out of place."

With that, Y/n closed the bedroom door behind her and grumbled. “This is perfectly fine. People do go out after work to a bazaar.”

She actually said more than that. Way more. But at this point, he didn’t even bother to listen to her. It wasn’t like this was his first time ignoring her blabbers. And he was pretty sure she was used to it, too.

Minutes later, Y/n came out to the living room wearing Namjoon’s hoodie and sweatpants. She even managed to find a pair of his sandals that he thought was gone. Sure her outfit now swallowed her, but at least it was more comfortable.

“Alright, let’s go!” was the last thing she said before they left his apartment.

A boba tea and a corn dog later, Namjoon and Y/n were walking aimlessly. They were just following the direction other people were taking, not really sure themselves where they would end up.

“Aren’t you glad I forced you out of that stuffy apartment?”

“Nope. I still rather be on my couch.”

Y/n frowned. “What?” She gestured to their surroundings. “This is so much better.” She saw a small bench and sat on it, gesturing to him to sit beside her. “I think you need to take a breather and just relax, my dude. Whatever problems you have at work, they don’t exist for now.”

“It’s easy for you to say that.”

Y/n slurped hard on her drink, trying to get as many bobas as possible into her mouth. “You-”. Chew. “-think too much-”. Chew. “-of things you can’t-”. Chew. “-control.”

“Okay, finish your drink first. That’s disgusting.”

Y/n laughed while trying to stop her bobas from coming out of her mouth. After succeeding to suppress her laughter, she chewed on the bobas thoroughly before swallowing them.

“You’re an overthinker who misses on great things in life just because you’re too caught up in your problems. And when you realize you missed those things, it’ll be all too late.” Y/n then continued finishing her drink in silence while he was registering what she just said.

He was so focused on his thoughts to the point he didn’t even realize when Y/n had left him to find a trash can. He was only drawn back to reality when Y/n came to him running and yelling his name in excitement.

Y/n spoke in rapid speed to the point she sounded like speaking gibberish. The only thing he heard was “fortune teller” before Y/n yanked on his hand and dragged him to a small kiosk.

The kiosk was mostly empty. No customers were surrounding it unlike other kiosks. But it wasn’t what set it apart from the others. It was the big letters in front of it that read “fortune teller” in big bold text. Inside, there was only one woman sitting, unmoving, seemingly reading something, a book maybe.

Aware of his and Y/n’s presence, the fortune teller looked up from the book and smiled at them both. Unlike what the media portrayed fortune tellers were, that they were scary and mysterious, her smile was warm and friendly.

“Is there something I can do?” The fortune teller closed the book and stood up.

“Yes!” Y/n replied. “My friend here-” She gestured to Namjoon “-wants to know his future.” After a few seconds of pause, she added, “And about his soulmate too, please.”

Before he could respond, the fortune teller beat him to it. “Very well.” The fortune teller cracked her knuckles before staring deep into his eyes. Her gaze somehow made him feel naked, vulnerable.

They hold their gaze for a while. As seconds became minutes, he felt breathless, and hot. The gaze that at first was soft but strong, became sharper and almost felt painful. But not long after, the fortune teller focused back at Y/n who stood still beside him, gawking at her. He could finally let out a breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding.

“From what I can tell, your friend is on the right track. He’s doing well, but he won’t be if he can’t appreciate the simple things in life,” the fortune teller explained. “As for his soulmate, he already knows who they are, he even knows where they are. The only thing left for him to do is just to figure it out within himself.”

The thing was, he didn’t believe in fortune tellers, astrology, and whatnot. He never even cared about things like that. But seeing Y/n’s grin and the glint in her eyes as she thanked the fortune teller and gave her a tip, he didn’t say anything against it. As much as Y/n called him boring, he wasn’t the type to burst people’s bubble of happiness.

Throughout the walk to Y/n’s apartment, she kept talking about what the fortune teller had said.

“Gosh, I can’t believe you know who your soulmate is.” Y/n lightly punched on his arm. “You never tell me anything.”

Namjoon shrugged. “What’s there to talk about? I don’t know who my soulmate is either. I apparently need to figure it out myself.”

“I know what we can do!”

This sounded like he was about to be in for a bad time. “What?”

“Let’s go do something different! Maybe you'll find your revelation or whatever.”

He really wanted to scoff. “How does that even work?”

“Don’t know. But it's worth a try. Do you want to figure out who your soulmate is or not?”

Of course he did. “Of course I do. What kind of question... ”

Y/n clapped her hands together. “Good! Tomorrow I’ll pick you up. Get ready for a week full of surprises.”

“Wait what? I never signed up for this.”

Y/n rolled her eyes. “You did sign up. You said you want to find your soulmate.”

“But not tomorrow!” he raised his voice in frustration. “We have work on Monday.”

“Just call your boss that you’ll be gone for a week.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Dude, bro, my guy, you need to live in the moment. Plus, you haven’t taken a leave in years. Years, Namjoon.”

He inhaled long and hard before exhaling it slowly. His best friend seriously was going to be the death of him.

“Please.” Y/n looked up at him. He suddenly became aware of the massive height difference they had.

It wasn't that Y/n was short. She said it herself that she was the average height although he didn’t really believe that. She just looked so tiny compared to him. But, on the other side, Namjoon was quite tall for a guy around his age.

He groaned. “Ugh, not the puppy eyes. Seriously.”

“Does that mean I win?” There was a soft gleam of hope in her eyes.

Namjoon was a strong man. At least, that was what everyone who knew him had said about him. So it was weird for the always composed and well mannered man to have a weakness. And to have that weakness took in the form of his childhood best friend was even weirder. What in his best friend that didn’t exist in literally anything that could melt his heart like no other? Puppies and kittens could never even compare. His cute bonsais, too, couldn’t even compare.

He might never find the answer to that. Heck maybe he found out about his soulmate before he could answer that. He could only shook his head in disbelief as Y/n put her bunny headband on his hair.

It was Saturday at 8 a.m, the morning after the fortune teller incident. Y/n simply invited herself into his apartment while he was still in the shower. It was one of the things he regretted after giving her the keys to his apartment. It was meant to be used during emergencies, not for her getting all cozy here and thinking this was her place.

He was walking out of the bedroom, fully dressed and ready for the day, when he heard a sizzling sound coming from the kitchen. He stepped closer to the kitchen and as it came into view, he saw Y/n cooking with her back facing him.

He thought he was being quiet, but apparently not because Y/n turned around and greeted him with a beaming smile.

"Morning! I'm making you some omelette and there's coffee on the table." She pointed at the mug on the table with smoke still puffing out of it. "Exactly two teaspoons as you like it." Then she continued cooking as if nothing had happened.

He was speechless as he looked at the mess in his kitchen. Egg shells on the floor, ketchup smeared all over the kitchen counter, and some puddles on the floor could be seen. It was as if a tornado just came.

“What is all this?” he asked when he finally found his voice.

Y/n carefully plated the omelette before proudly putting the plate beside the coffee. “This is what I call breakfast. Bet you usually only drink coffee in the morning.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. Look at the kitchen, Y/n! Who’s gonna clean up after this?”

Y/n took a look around the kitchen with a readable and all too familiar facial expression.

“I know what you’re gonna say,” Namjoon said as he took a seat. “And to that, I say, I don’t want to clean up your mess. You clean it up.”

She lifted her hands in surrender. “Fine, geez. A thank you would be nice.”

“You not making a mess would be appreciated.”

“Touché."

Usually when he had coffee in the morning, he felt that adrenaline rush. The kind that made you feel giddy, restless, and even made you tremble. This time, thanks to Y/n's cooking, he didn’t feel any of those. He was tempted to tell Y/n about this, but in the end, he just kept it to himself. He didn’t want to fuel her ego. It wasn’t a very good idea to do that so early into this “Journey to Find Namjoon’s Soulmate” or whatever Y/n had called it last night.

Even if he told him all those things, chances were she wasn’t going to listen to him as she was busy admiring her work on his hair. The bunny headband finally put on properly and held his hair away from his face.

“Have you ever put on a face mask before?” Y/n handed him a face mask.

“Umm, no.”

“Let me put it on you.” She smiled as she took back the face mask from his hand.

Within seconds, her trained hands successfully put the face mask on his face. And not long after, her face was also wearing one.

“We’re matching!” Y/n grinned at him. “Let’s take a selfie,” she said as she pulled out her phone.

He wasn’t big on selfies, he didn’t even remember the last time he took one. But seeing the huge smile on his best friend’s face was enough for him to reluctantly agree.

He forced a smile at the camera. He realized it looked awkward as Y/n shoved their photo in front of his face to show him the result. It looked even more ridiculous with the bunny headband on top of his head. However, the girl looked like she didn’t mind as she kept babbling on about how this was their first selfie in years and she wanted to upload it so bad.

“-will ask me about you. And what’s going to happen to me when you date one of them?”

A silence followed her ramblings until he realized she just asked him a question.

He cleared his throat. “First of all, just because I’m dating, doesn’t mean you can’t still be my best friend. Second of all, isn’t the purpose of this… adventure is to find my soulmate?”

Y/n eyes widened in realization. “You’re right! I’m gonna post it then.” As she was about to hit the post button on her phone, she looked at him. “Wait. What should I caption it?”

20 minutes later, when the once cold mask was no longer cold and it started to dry a bit, Y/n carefully peeled the mask from both their faces.

“What do you feel?” Y/n asked expectantly.

Namjoon didn’t even know how to answer that. Truth to be told, these skin care products never really made an impactful difference on his skin, hence the reason he didn’t have a skin care routine. The most he ever did was just wash his face with a face wash and even that was a leftover he found in his sister’s old room a few weeks after she left for uni. A side note, don’t even ask him why he was in her room, he wouldn’t answer it truthfully. His parents would probably say that he missed her, but he knew it wasn’t true… right?

The lack of response from him was enough for Y/n to catch on what he was feeling.

“You don’t feel anything, huh?”

“Wetness on my face.” His answer sounded more like a question.

“You’re unbelievable. Well, since today is just the first day, I’ll let it go. But, the correct answer to that is refreshed, Joon,” Y/n explained in exasperation as she scratched her head.

“What does that have to do with finding my soulmate?”

“You might find out your soulmate faster if you’re not stressed,” Y/n said as a matter-of-factly.

He sighed. “You know what, I don’t even bother to argue with you.”

“Cause you know I’m right.”

That night when he was about to fall asleep, when he was only half-aware of his surroundings, the memory of today’s activity played in his mind. The messy kitchen as his best friend attempted to make him breakfast. Her proud smile as she served his food. The focused look on her face when he was putting on her headband and the face mask on him. And lastly, the tired smile she offered him as she said goodbye when the day ended after they binge watched on Netflix. For the first time in years, he fell asleep with a smile plastered on his face.

The next morning on Sunday, he woke up much earlier than usual. He even woke up feeling energized. He could even feel anticipation bubbling inside of him. The last time he felt like this was when he was around 9 and his parents gave him tickets to Disneyland as a birthday gift. Simply put, he felt like a kid again, waiting for great things that were about to happen today.

As he smiled at the memories of his childhood, he couldn’t help but realize that maybe Y/n was right all along. She always nagged on him because all he did was to mope around on his old couch and get drunk when things got too hard.

“Live in the moment, dude,” she had said multiple times. “You worry too much like an old man who fears the end of the world.”

What a great metaphor, Y/n.

Just like the day before, Y/n entered his apartment without notice. But this time, instead of being in the shower, he was already dressed and waiting for her. He could feel his heart beat get faster when he heard the door being opened.

Y/n widened her eyes in surprise before she smirked. “I like the energy. Let’s just go, then!”

For the second activity in The Journey to Find Namjoon’s Soulmate, Y/n took him to an…

“Animal shelter?” Namjoon asked in disbelief.

Y/n nodded. “I want to see cute animals.”

“We can just go to the zoo.”

“It’s expensive. And they don't really care about animals."

Ever since the start of their friendship, he could never win against her wittiness. So this wasn’t really a rare occurrence where she said an argument so wrong yet so right.

“But a zoo is intended for exactly that purpose. Rather than you playing with those sheltered animals but not adopting one of them in the end,” Namjoon explained.

“Oh, shush. Stop being a party-” Y/n’s eyes suddenly caught a puppy running towards her. “Oh my God, come here, baby!” she yelled as she scooped the puppy up in her arms.

For a few minutes, it was just Y/n cooing at the puppy and he was just eyeing her in amusement. He knew that she would go mushy and all excited around animals, so he couldn’t really blame her for seemingly forgetting about him. Plus, he didn’t want to miss out on seeing Y/n using baby voices to talk to the animals.

His amusement was interrupted when Y/n abruptly shoved the puppy towards him.

“Wha-? I don’t-”

“Just take it. We’re here for you, not me.”

Namjoon sighed in defeat as he accepted the puppy into his arms. Its tail wagging so fast, going for miles per second, to the point he could feel its body shaking from the impact. Its big eyes looking up at Namjoon in… adoration? Maybe going to the shelter might be one of his favorite activities from now on.

They only went home after an entire day spent at the shelter. Namjoon was tired, he almost couldn’t keep his eyes open, but Y/n was probably more tired than him cause she kept running around to chase every puppy and kitten she saw.

He tried to stop her, knowing she would get tired, but she said, “Each one of them deserve love, okay,” before running around yet again.

Now as they sat in the bus on their way home, he saw out of the corner of his eyes Y/n’s head bobbing down every once in a while, following the motion of the bus. He snorted while he tried to hold his laugh. What he had thought would happen, really happened.

Feeling bad because he knew that would feel uncomfortable, he lightly directed Y/n’s head to rest on his shoulder. Instinctively, Y/n snuggled further into his shoulder to make herself more comfortable and when she was finally satisfied, she sighed.

This awfully looked like he was going to have a guest tonight.

The third day was on a Monday. He knew he was weird, Y/n had told him repeatedly, but he really liked Mondays. For him, it was finally the day in which he could do something about his problems at work that he just left off on Friday.

“I swear, you’re literally the personification of weird,” Y/n had commented one day.

To be honest, he didn’t really care if he was really what she had said. Can’t someone like something without being judged?

Right after they both woke up and had breakfast, Y/n went back to her apartment to get ready for the day.

Before leaving, she instructed him to find light clothes as they were going to spend time outdoors for the day. Exactly like what she said, he chose to wear an old t-shirt he had owned since he was in college and khaki shorts he found at the pit of his wardrobe.

“I hope they have mint choco flavor!” Y/n jumped up and down in excitement as they got closer to the ice cream parlor.

“Ew, why do you even like to eat cold toothpaste?” Namjoon asked rhetorically.

Y/n gasped. “What is this mint choco slander? You, mister, have never tasted life until you eat mint choco ice cream.”

“No, thanks. I bet I’d taste death eating those.”

Flabbergasted, Y/n stopped in her tracks and glared at him. “You-”

He quickly cut her off, “Let’s not continue the argument before there’s a bloodbath.”

Y/n chuckled proudly. “Because you know it’d be your blood that’ll be spilled.”

“Um, no,” he interjected. “I think you mistake your blood with mine.”

“Really? You wanna fight?” Y/n took a fighting stance in front of him in which Namjoon just grabbed her elbow and pulled her to walk again.

"Stop that! The kids will think you're one of them," he mumbled.

They were at a busy park surrounding a lake. Kids were running all around the place. Some parents tried to chase them but some went as far as scolding them. A small portion of parents even just let their kids disappear into the crowd of people. He doubted those parents even care about their kids.

He never knew such a place like this existed. During the three days he spent on this journey, he had learned and knew more things than all of his life experiences combined. Maybe he’d have to thank Y/n after they reached the end of this journey.

“I start to think this journey is just your excuse to have a holiday.”

“No way. This is totally 100% for you. Speaking of that, do you already have an idea who your soulmate might be?”

Namjoon shook his head as he opened the door to the ice parlor and gestured to her to enter first. “Just get your damn ice cream.”

There was a long line of people waiting to order, but soon enough, it was their turn.

Even before the cashier could greet them, Y/n already blurted out a question. “Do you have mint choco flavour?”

“We’re unfortunately ran out of it. Maybe you want to try mocha instead?”

Y/n pouted in disappointment as she was trying to find the next best flavor in the menu.

Though mint choco ice cream was his mortal enemy, he couldn’t help but to feel a pang of sadness upon seeing his best friend’s reaction. There was nothing worse than having your first choice unavailable.

“You know what? I changed my mind, bubblegum is now my favorite,” Y/n commented as they walked out of the parlor. A cup of bubblegum flavored ice cream in Y/n’s hand and the vanilla one in Namjoon’s. “Goodbye, mint choco.”

“See? You’re finally agreeing with me.”

“Yeah, but for different reasons. I still think it tastes good, but bubblegum is better. It’s a good thing they ran out of mint choco.”

“Your taste in ice cream is weird.”

“Why would they make these flavors then if not for me to enjoy?” she argued as she put more ice cream into her mouth. She closed her eyes and hummed in content. “I haven’t had ice cream in weeks. I miss how cold it feels.”

“I think you’re exaggerating.” There was no way, in his opinion, not even in alternate universes where she could stand not eating ice cream for weeks. She had a sweet tooth and couldn’t stand not eating ice cream in weeks, at least that was what he knew since the start of their friendship.

“Nope. These past few weeks, my boss has been giving me double the amount of work. I have to work overtime and by the time I’m off work, all ice cream places have closed. So I’m gonna savour all of this as much as I can. God knows when I can get ice cream again.”

Shortly after she said that, a kid, approximately around 9 years old, bumped into Namjoon and accidentally made him drop his ice cream. The kid, unaware of what just happened, just mindlessly bowing and saying sorry before running again to chase his friends.

“Oh no!” Y/n squatted down near the sorry sight of his ice cream.

Before he even registered what was happening, she handed him her ice cream. “Hold it for me.”

Instinctively, he held her ice cream. “Y/n, there’s no need for that. We can find the cleaning service and ask them to clean it.”

He didn’t know whether she was purposely ignoring him or she was so focused to the point she didn’t hear him. All he knew was the fact that she kept on cleaning up as best as she could. And that there was nothing he could do to stop her.

A few minutes later, Y/n jumped up from her squatting position. “All done!” She tossed the now dirty tissue in a trash can nearby.

She thanked Namjoon and took her ice cream back from him. But instead of eating it herself, she scooped some with the spoon and directed it in front of his face.

He must have looked bewildered because Y/n smiled and spoke, “We must share since you lost yours.”

He could swear when she said that, he felt warmth all around his body, originating from his chest. She just said she missed ice cream, yet when he lost his, she didn’t hesitate to share it.

“No, but thanks.”

Y/n frowned and softly touched the tip of the spoon to his lips. Reluctantly, he let her spoon-feed him.

“You said you want to savour it?” he asked after he swallowed.

Her answer, however, was something he never expected coming out from her mouth.

“What’s sweeter than eating ice cream is sharing it with your best friend.”

He swore he almost broke into tears at her words.

He knew how much she loved sweet foods. She even frequently ran to him crying when her brother ate all of her chocolate when they were kids. She broke many friendships because they didn’t want to accept her overpriced candies as presents. Heck, even a moment ago they were arguing about ice cream flavors!

This was a new side of Y/n that he just saw. A side she never showed him before, her best friend slash her only friend. He felt like he was learning more about Y/n than he was about his future soulmate.

So that was how their third day ended. Namjoon and her sitting on a bench facing the lake as they take turns to take a bite of her ice cream.

On Tuesday, the fourth day, Y/n had the genius idea of going on a road trip. It was a huge problem, because one: he couldn’t drive, and two: he wasn’t about to let Y/n drive for hours on end.

“This doesn’t sound like a very good idea,” Namjoon said for the millionth time that morning as Y/n stuffed their luggages into the tiny trunk in her tiny car. “Plus, I don’t think your car can withstand long hours on the road.”

"Shush." She forcefully closed the trunk. "You can't drive, therefore you don't deserve to have an opinion."

The car in question was a 2010 car that originally was owned by Y/n’s dad and given to her when she got a driver’s license. Please note that Y/n had told him long ago that she actually didn’t drive that much and probably wouldn’t need a car since she enjoyed taking the bus to work. Nevertheless, she refused to sell the car when she was in need of money after moving out of her parents’ house. She had said, and Namjoon still remembered it clearly, that, “I want to keep this bad boy until he’s an antique, then I want to sell him to the highest bidder, so I can be rich."

‘Okay’, Namjon had thought, ‘but antique cars are usually just sitting in the garage, not being overworked like Y/n’s.’ However, he never said anything, so Y/n automatically had thought she won again against him.

Minutes later, they were already on the road, going nowhere in particular. Namjoon was still steadfast in his stance. This wasn’t going to end well.

But what if he could persuade her to turn the car around by another means? He wasn't going to pass up this opportunity, so he tried again.

"Won't you be tired? Sleepy?" asked him.

"I'm not weak, Namjoon. Contrary to what you see me as, I'm as strong as you are, if not stronger."

"I lift three times a week." His words sounded more like a question.

"I walk up the stairs to the fifth floor multiple times a day."

Okay, this wasn't where the conversation was supposed to flow, but he wasn't going to back down.

"It's not my fault your apartment is crappy," he clapped back. “They can’t even fix their damn lift.”

"They will get it fixed soon, don't worry."

"That's what they said months ago!"

"Then what do you want me to do?" she challenged him.

"Find a new apartment!"

"They're all expensive. Plus, I’ve lived there since college, I’m kinda attached to it."

"You're a hopeless cause," he mumbled quietly, she probably didn't hear him.

After a few seconds of silence, Namjoon tried again, this time using another different approach.

"What if something terrible happens?"

"No, it won't. Relax. Chill. You're worrying too much. Why don't you just take a nap?"

"You're too chill, Y/n. We go out to nowhere without booking-"

"It's okay, really."

“How?” he asked, exasperated of how calm she was when they were about to go somewhere empty handed and with no planning whatsoever.

“How? Umm, I was on a road trip once.”

He wasn’t convinced. “When? You never tell me anything about it.”

“I don’t need to tell you everything I do! It was when I was 12. My dad and uncle took me along with them to go around the country.”

“12 years old, Y/n! You were 12. Now you’re in your 20s.” Namjoon wasn’t amused at all at this point. “Turn the car around now!”

“What? No!” Y/n exclaimed. “This is an important part of the journey. Being at a place you’re familiar with won’t help you dig deeper into yourself. You’d just be too preoccupied with your problems.” Then Y/n finished her speech off with a quiet mumble, “You’ll never find anything new by being in your comfort zone.”

Namjoon hated once again at how right her words were. He really wanted to argue with her, but she was right. Being on his couch all day, doing the same things everyday, wouldn’t change anything in his life.

He took a deep breath to calm himself down. “Fine, okay, you win. Happy?”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Y/n grinned. “Very.”

That night they arrived at a small motel that probably only had like 10 rooms at most. It had a homey feeling, but the stench coming from the lobby, though. It was unbearable for him.

As they dragged their suitcases while they were trying to find their room amidst the numberless doors, Namjoon asked Y/n, “Why are we in this crappy motel again?”

To answer that, Y/n shrugged. “Don’t know. I just saw the signs and went straight in.”

“Didn’t you smell something at the receptionist?”

They finally arrived in front of their room. They didn’t actually know it was their room, but based on the instructions that the creepy receptionist just gave them, there was a high chance this was it.

Y/n answered as she opened the door. “Yeah. The receptionist actually whispered to me that they just finished eradicating rats. He said there was an infestation in the lobby.”

He couldn’t help but to grimace while following her into the room. She had been told about all of that and she still decided to rent a room. He would never understand her way of thinking even after years of friendship.

As if she could read his mind, she spoke, “Don’t worry. All the rats were successfully killed and all of them were in the lobby. We’re safe.”

“How do you know?”

“I asked him. I’m not stupid, Joon.”

He raised his hands in surrender. “Geez, chill. I just asked you a question.”

And that was how their fourth day concluded.

For the first time since the start of the journey, Namjoon finally initiated an activity on the fifth day.

He managed to browse on his phone for things they could do, eat breakfast with whatever food they had, and even pack lunch for the both of them before Y/n even woke up.

When she woke up, he hesitantly asked her to go hiking. Throughout the journey this far, he only followed wherever she wanted to go, so he didn’t really expect the reaction that he got from her after proposing his idea.

She widened her eyes as she digested his words and her breakfast. “Hiking? Where?”

“Behind this motel, there’s a small hill. What do you think?”

Y/n nodded a little too enthusiastically. “Let’s go. Spending a day with nature doesn’t hurt.”

Oh, how wrong she was.

The idea was for them to hike together, maybe even side by side, as they enjoyed the view. But instead, Namjoon left her a solid 50 meters.

Perhaps it was because he was taller, therefore he had longer legs and strides, or because he was excited, so he walked faster, or even both. No one really knew for sure, not even him.

“Joon!” she called once again in the span of less than 5 minutes. “Don’t walk too fast!”

Namjoon sighed as he stopped in his tracks, waiting for her to catch up with him. She was lucky she was his only best friend or he would’ve strangled her by now because of her naggings.

Quite a surprise to himself, when she finally caught up with him, he squatted down and ordered her to ride on his back. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him, but he just went with it. Maybe his unconscious thought that she would quit complaining if she was on his back. There was only one way to find out.

“Why? I can walk on my own.” She wiped the sweat on her forehead with a tissue.

He scoffed. “You look like you’re about to pass out any second. Just shut up and let me carry you.”

He didn’t know what he had expected from giving someone a piggyback ride and that someone to be Y/n, but he was sure a strangling grip around his neck wasn’t part of the deal.

“Can you-” Gasp. “-not strangle me?”

Y/n immediately let go of him. The warmth of her embrace suddenly disappeared. “Oops. Sorry.”

Once they arrived at the top, Y/n jumped off his back. “Woah, this is so cool.” She pointed at the motel that now looked small. “That’s our motel!” she exclaimed.

They found a large flat rock that they both could sit on and ate lunch together.

As she munched on her food, she asked, “Have you figured out who your soulmate is?”

“Not yet. I start to think this doesn’t work.”

“Good things take time, my dude.”

Oh, how he really wished it was true.

“Hey,” Y/n’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Do you know that I always wanted to tick off ‘hiking’ from my wishlist?”

“The wishlist you had since you’re 10?”

She nodded. “After more than a decade, I finally finished everything on my wishlist.” She suddenly broke into a fit of giggles. “I’m gonna make a new one once we’re home.”

“What’s going to be in it?” he asked curiously.

Y/n took a moment to think before answering, “Maybe… to find my soulmate.” It came out more like a question rather than an answer.

She abruptly chuckled. “Wouldn’t it be crazy if in the end we figure out our soulmates in this journey?”

A lightning fast thought struck him but disappeared just as fast as it came. Throughout the rest of the day, he was trying to recall that thought to no avail.

The next day, on Thursday, they were going home. They couldn’t handle another hour, no scratch that, they couldn’t even handle another minute at the motel. Opposite to what Y/n had initially thought, the stench of rat carcass reached far beyond the lobby to their room.

A series of “see I told you so”s later, Namjoon finally broke her.

“Yes, Namjoon. Thanks for telling me that. I know you’re right and I’m wrong. Now please put on a song, I want to sing.”

Another thing Y/n was bad at, according to him, was singing. He knew she liked to sing, she’d told him about it, but he never understood how she managed to be so confident yet so bad at it. If he were told to rank between her ability to sing and choose a good motel, he’d probably have put singing as the first place based on how bad she was at it. Call him a bad friend, but he was just being honest.

However, he still played a song just to satisfy her. An easy song that no one can screw up, but he knew she would still screw up anyways. After all, enduring her cracked singing voice was the least he could do after being driven from and to a crappy motel.

And then she sang. And sang. And sang. One song turned to three turned to five then ten and fifteen. Before she went for the sixteenth song, Namjoon stopped her.

“Aren’t you thirsty from singing?” Nice catch! The question was just an attempt to make her stop a while so he could regain his hearing.

“Don’t even have to ask.”

As she gulped down water from her flask, Namjoon eyed her warily. He prayed, and he was an atheist, that she would forget about singing.

He didn’t know which God had answered his prayers, but when Y/n put down her flask, she already babbled about something else other than singing. Looked like the world, and God, were on his side today.

She was talking about the random bird that was flying straight to her car, almost hitting the car. Also about a dog that stuck out its head from the car beside them. And about how expensive the motel was for being smelly and dirty.

Lastly, “Do you think I cut out to be a singer?”

Yeah, maybe he was pushing his luck.

Day seven fell on a Friday. They spent the day walking hand in hand leisurely on the beach. Beside him, Y/n was talking about what color she should dye her hair next.

“I think I should go with green. What do you think?” Y/n nudged his side with her elbow and wiggled her eyebrows.

“Your boss won't let you dye your hair crazy colors,” he said. “Please don’t do anything that can get you fired.”

Y/n pouted at his answer. But soon her frown vanished as her eyes fell upon a bikini in a display of a store.

Namjoon exhaled. He knew exactly what was going to happen.

True enough, Y/n pulled on his hand that was still clasped in hers towards the store and only stopped after they were in front of the display.

“What a cute bikini!” she cooed before running inside the store, leaving a bewildered Namjoon outside.

Right when he entered the store, he heard a squeal that could only belong to one person.

He turned to the source of the sound and saw Y/n laughing with a store clerk. A male and handsome store clerk.

He wasn't the type of person who gets jealous easily or possessive, but he never saw Y/n with a man other than himself. So he couldn't really help it when he felt jealousy seeped through his gritted teeth. But he soon had forgotten about it when Y/n looked up at him and grinned.

Y/n approached him while holding a bikini set.

“This is their latest design. I’m gonna try it. Wait for me!” Then she disappeared to the fitting room before he could remind her that she didn’t wear bikinis.

Throughout the time he had known her, not even once she ever said anything about bikinis, let alone wearing one and he had known her since they were in diapers. What made her suddenly want to have a bikini?

Minutes later, after a series of clanking noises and a few curses, Y/n came out of the fitting room and he couldn’t believe what he saw. Surely the fitting room was a magic box or something, because there was no way his childhood best friend, his innocent Y/n, came out looking like a model out of a magazine. Well, maybe more like a model before they got heavily photoshopped since he still could see some tiny spots, cellulite, and scars on her skin. And maybe a plus size model because her hips would be considered wide compared to those models. But he didn’t mind them, they made her look more… natural, more human.

While he was busy admiring her, a cough suddenly woke him from his daze. He turned to see the store clerk from earlier, now standing beside him.

“You look very beautiful,” he commented, not minding the killing glare coming from Namjoon.

Y/n, without heeding the store clerk’s compliment, asked, “Joon, do you think this is okay?”

Namjoon was tempted to say, “Just okay? You look like a greek goddess who just blessed me with her presence.” But he was too paralyzed to say anything.

“I think you look great,” the store clerk spoke up again. For a split second right after he said that, he looked at Y/n’s thighs before looking at her eyes again.

It happened so fast, Namjoon thought he was just imagining it. But when Y/n’s facial expression turned sour and she quickly went back to the fitting room, he was wondering whether she saw that too.

His suspicion was confirmed right after they left the store.

“I can’t believe it!” she said while stomping beside him. “He looked at my thighs, Joon! Did you see it, too?”

He just hummed.

Y/n huffed. “I’m going to file a complaint to their manager.”

“You won’t do that,” he replied knowingly.

“I’m gonna make it viral, then. Let the whole world see how horrible he is.”

Namjoon really wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that sounded. “How? You don’t have footage of him doing it.”

“Damn, you’re right,” she mumbled. “Maybe I’m just not meant to have a bikini.”

A lot of thoughts ran through his mind. He wanted to let her know how pretty she looked in that bikini. How captivating the curves in her body were. But in the end, he only suppressed all of that. In his justification, he wanted a more appropriate timing. He didn’t want to say all that to her when she was mad or she’d think he said that to make her feel better. He wanted not just to comfort her, but to actually make her realize how beautiful she was.

On Saturday, his second favorite day after Monday, Y/n arrived a bit later at his apartment compared the days before. But when she saw him ready for the day, she said, “I’m giving you a chance to wake up late, but whatever.”

As per usual, Y/n didn’t tell him where they were going, and he was surprised when they arrived in front of a large building with a sign that read “library”.

Looking at Namjoon’s puzzled face, Y/n probably could read what was in his mind. “You still have no idea who your soulmate is, right? I just think that maybe it’s because we’ve focused so much on doing physical activities instead of, like, feeding the mind.”

“Huh?”

“Maybe we can do a little bit of reading. Because, you know, reading is like eating but for the mind. Or whatever that quote is supposed to go,” she elaborated.

“I read in my free time.”

“Have you read anything during this entire journey?” she raised an eyebrow.

He rolled his eyes. “That’s because of your brilliant idea of having a journey. Had you let me sit down on my couch, I would’ve read the entire biography of the founding fathers by now.”

“Gosh, you’re so boring. No wonder you haven’t found your soulmate. And for the record, you learned a lot of things from this journey. Things that might help you find your soulmate. You know what, let’s just go.” With that, Y/n pulled on his hand and stepped into the library.

Namjoon was in the middle of reading a philosophy book when Y/n suddenly spoke to him.

“I can’t focus, Joon,” she whined. “I have too many things on my mind.”

Those words were the most terrifying words he had ever heard, especially if they came out of Y/n’s mouth. Every time he heard those words, he felt like he wasn’t being attentive enough towards his friends to the point he didn’t know that something was disturbing their peace. And that feeling was heightened when Y/n was the one in trouble. He knew her for the longest time, shouldn’t he be more caring towards her?

He breath hitched, anticipating what Y/n had to say. “Why?”

She took a deep inhale before exhaling slowly. “I know this stupid because it hasn’t ended yet, but I already miss this journey.”

Obviously he didn’t want to admit it in front of her, she would get a crazy idea otherwise, but he, too, could feel a pang in his chest that felt awfully familiar. It was the same feeling he got when he moved out of his parents’ house and when he was reminiscing the time he spent with his late dog. Also when he graduated from high school and had to leave his high school friends to pursue higher education. He wasn’t a stranger to this feeling. In fact, he knew it too well.

Y/n was right, though. It was indeed stupid to feel this way because they still had one more day together.

So he responded with, “We’re still in this journey. And even after this journey ends, we can still go on adventures together,” as a weak attempt to console her and also himself.

“It’s not the adventures that I miss. It’s the time we spend together. We’ve never spent this much time together.”

Of course he knew that. He knew he was going to miss the time they spent together, but his own pride made him unable to act vulnerable in front of her. Especially in the time when she needed him the most.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each deep within their own thoughts. That was when a crazy idea suddenly came to him. He usually wasn’t the one coming with crazy ideas, it was kinda Y/n’s thing and she probably would have copyrighted it if it was possible. But he wasn’t just going to be quiet at a time in crises like this.

“We can arrange some small one-day adventures every month. How does that sound?”

Y/n smiled although it didn’t reach her eyes. “Sounds great. Just promise me you won’t rain check on me.”

It worked! He successfully made her smile again. As he cheered inside his mind, he assured her, “I won’t. I’ll write it on my calendar.”

Namjoon dreaded the last day of The Journey to Find Namjoon’s Soulmate more than when he was called for a job interview by a big company. He even had clammy hands and was sweating bullets. His hand trembled as he waited for Y/n to announce what they were going to do on this last day.

“Holiday has to be concluded with a lazy day. So I call for breakfast in bed,” Y/n explained as she once again wrecked his kitchen.

“I’m not in my bed, though.”

“Your bed is not locked for the rest of the day once you’re out of it,” Y/n said in a matter-of-factly.

“But please don’t ruin my kitchen.”

Y/n briefly stopped cooking as she looked around the kitchen. Then she shrugged. “Well, it’s too late. You should’ve said that earlier.”

He originally had thought that Y/n would make food for him, give it to him, clean the kitchen, then left. But he was surprised when Y/n came back to his bedroom while holding a plate of her own after delivering his.

“Move,” she commanded before shimmying beside him on the bed. She grabbed the remote on the nightstand and turned on the TV.

“Now, we relax. Because we’ll be stressed out of our minds tomorrow.” She leaned back and started eating her bacon.

So that was pretty much how their ninth day went. But that wasn’t all.

Long after they had finished their food, they still watched the TV. Messy kitchen and other duties were long forgotten.

As time passed by, Namjoon found himself cuddling Y/n while she rested her head on his buff chest. And not long after, they both fell asleep in that position with the TV still playing in the background.

But all of that couldn’t last long as tomorrow they had to go to work. So after waking up from their nap, they cleaned the kitchen and Y/n went home before it got too dark.

Instantly after Y/n closed the door behind her, Namjoon felt empty. It wasn’t just his apartment that felt empty, but also his mind and soul. He was already used to her constant nagging, her constant company, and her voice. He wanted to run to her and tell her to extend their journey, but obviously, that was impossible. They had responsibilities, especially since they just neglected them for a week.

On Monday, the day that used to be his favorite but now he loathed it, he came home to a voice message from the person he’d been waiting for.

“Hey. Sorry I didn’t talk to you yesterday whether you’ve found your soulmate or not. I was anxious about work so I forgot. Umm… As soon as you receive this message, please call or text me, okay? I wanna hear what you thought.”

He couldn’t help but also notice something in her voice. Fatigue? Or was it sadness? He swore he could hear it and wasn’t just imagining it.

Wanting to check up on her, he automatically called her. First ring. Second ring. Third ring. He waited and waited, but it only went to her voicemail.

Not giving up so early to talk to his best friend, he rang her again. And waited. And waited. And kept waiting. But just like the first time, she didn’t pick up her phone.

In the end, he settled with sending her a text.

He didn’t know why he was suddenly nervous as he typed the message.

It said, “I still don’t have an idea who that might be. Maybe the journey didn’t work. But, hey, are you sad? Or maybe sick?”

He only got the reply the next day at lunch. He kinda hoped to read long messages about how he shouldn’t be so pessimistic and that he surely would find his soulmate, just like how Y/n usually talked. But instead, she just replied with, “What a bummer.”

He only sighed in disappointment.

The next few days were grim and hard for him. His boss gave him so much work despite having to catch up on his other work. Every time he rode the bus from and to work, he remembered Y/n’s slouched position beside him as they came home from the animal shelter. He could almost feel her head on his shoulder again.

Every time he played a song, he got reminded of the time when he had to endure Y/n’s off-key singing. A memory played in his mind every time he passed an ice cream parlor. Heck, he even missed the feeling of anticipation that he felt every time he woke up in the morning.

What was worst of all though was the fact that they didn’t talk at all after her last text. Not even the occasional text messages or sending each other memes just like what they used to do before the journey started.

He knew it was because they both had a lot of catch up to do after neglecting work for a week, but he really wished that they could spare a bit of time to talk together.

Oh, how silly he was when he dismissed her for missing their time together back at the library. What made him feel even more silly was him being a coward and not admitting back then that he was, too, going to miss spending time together.

One particular night, he had trouble sleeping worse than any other night he had been missing Y/n. He kept turning around, hoping to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in, but to no avail. In the end, he gave up and settled to reminiscing their time together.

As he delved into his memories, every single activity they did, every word she said, and every place they went to, his half-awake mind came upon a realization.

He missed her enthusiasm that could lift his bad mood instantly. He missed her pushiness that made him do things he didn’t want to do, only to show him that she knew what he would like. He also missed her short legs and her whines when he walked too fast. He missed her love for animals, her love for mint choco ice cream, her laugh, smile, kindness, and voice.

He missed her beauty, her body, and her sense of style. He even missed her unruly hair. He missed receiving her love and attention. He missed loving her and having her in his arms. He missed loving her. She was the soulmate he had been looking for. She was his soulmate. His. Soulmate.

At the crack of dawn, a few hours after Namjoon could finally fall asleep, he woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep. He had an important thing to tell Y/n. And he had to do it now before she went to work and he lost another chance to meet her.

He checked the clock, it read 5 a.m. He quickly got up from his bed, took a shower, and grabbed a protein bar before leaving.

In the bus on his way to her apartment, he kept tapping his foot impatiently as he chewed on his protein bar. At times like this, he really wished he could drive. But for now he had to settle with the bus.

He jumped out of the bus as soon as it stopped at the bus stop closest to her apartment.

He checked the time again, 5:43 a.m. He still had a few minutes before she woke up.

He arrived in front of her apartment after five minutes of walking. He knocked on the door rapidly to the point he was sure he accidentally woke up the neighbors. However, it was the last thing on his mind.

A minute later, a sleepy Y/n with a bed head opened the door.

“Namjoon, wha-”

He instantly pushed her in and closed the door behind them both.

“Hear me out,” he demanded.

Y/n nodded while yawning.

“Let me help you cross out one activity from your wishlist.”

“Why are we talking about that at this time?”

“Because it’s important."

“I don’t see it."

He started to lose his patience. “It is! There’s one activity that’s really important right? Like, more important than the others.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Which one? I haven’t written a lot in the list, actually.”

“What are they?"

“To eat a banana-”

For a second, Namjoon was speechless. “What? Banana? Why?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just miss eating bananas.”

“Okay… What’s next?”

She took a moment to think, then answered, “Ah! I want to buy a new phone. Haven’t changed mine in years.”

He sighed. “Next?”

“Be a babysitter for a day.”

That wasn’t an answer he was looking for. “It’s a job for teenagers.”

“That’s why I only want to do it for a day.”

“Then?”

“Learn skateboarding. A skatepark just opened around here.”

“Anything else?”

She pouted. “You don’t want to help me cross any of those?”

“Not that. But, you said a few days ago on our journey that there was something you wanted to put on your wishlist.”

She tilted her head in confusion. “Really? I don’t remember. What was it?”

He really wanted to strangle someone at this point. Why was she so dense? “You really don’t remember?”

“I don’t think I do. Sorry. What was it, though?”

“You wanted to find your soulmate.”

It took her a second to digest his words, but when she finally did, her eyes widened. “Oh, right. Does that mean you want to help me find my soulmate? Go on another journey? You know, you don’t have to use that as an excuse to-”

“Shut up, Y/n. Stop talking so much.”

Y/n frowned. “Sorry.”

He huffed. “I never knew doing this was going to be this hard.” He looked deep into her eyes. “I don’t want to go on another journey to find anyone’s soulmate. And especially not after I realized last night that we have found our soulmates.”

Before he could say anything else, she cut him off. “Really? Who is yours? What about mine? Do I know-”

“Yes! We know them.” He finally decided to just cut the chase and came out clean. “You’re my soulmate, Y/n. And I’m yours. I was so busy chasing love during our journey to the point I never thought about the possibility of you being my soulmate.” With a softer tone, he concluded, “The fortune teller was right. I knew who my soulmate is and where to find them, but I was too stupid to realize that.”

Y/n was stunned for a while before slowly blinking. Once. Twice. “Wow. That’s crazy.” Then she grinned. “You finally admit that you’re stupid!”

“Y/n, that’s not the point!” he groaned.

“Yes, yes, I know.” She laughed. It sounded like bells in his ears. “I’m just messing with you. So, what should we do now?”

“Y/n.” He turned serious if he wasn’t being serious before. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

For a few seconds, Y/n stared at his eyes expectantly, as if she was waiting for something.

“Y/n?”

“What?”

“What do you say?”

“Of course yes, you dummy. I thought it was obvious.”

“Seriously now?” He rolled his eyes.

“Wait. Is this the part where we should kiss?” she asked in wonder.

He was really holding himself hard not to roll his eyes yet again. “Duh, Y/n.”

“But I haven’t brushed my teeth!” Then she disappeared into her bathroom, leaving a bewildered Namjoon in the living room.

As he stared at her bathroom door, he whispered to himself, “What did I just sign up for?”

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wreckofawriter · 4 years

Text

Attention

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Swearing, sexual jokes

Request: @souhmhey Hello! I really like your blaise au and was wondering if you could do a hogwarts ver of 97 with bill weasley/cedric diggory since your requests is open. The reader is a slytherin btw. Thank you and take care!

#97: You are famous and we keep bumping into eachother so the media thinks we're dating

A/n: sorry for inactivity, I have no concept of time. This is a tiny bit off the prompt but oh well. (There is so much dialogue in this fic, I'm sorry.)

You hated attention. You had hated it since the second you had been birthed into the world. The world which robbed you of your privacy. The world which had dug its grimy hands into your life and tugged and pulled until it looked pretty enough to be on display. A world which everyone claimed to wish for, to envy.

It made you sick.

You had no right to complain. You knew that you were privileged, your parents had more money than they could spend even if they tried, you had grown up in a mansion which simply could not be called a house. You had the tutors, the vacations, the clothes. You had it all, well all except privacy.

Your birth was on the front page of a dozen magazines, your face tacked onto newspapers before you could even read. You were so used to the flash of lights that you stopped registering them as strange.

When you left for some faraway school in the hills of Scottland you had assumed that all of that would go away. That you wouldn’t have to fake smiles anymore or refrain from making the smallest mistake for fear of ruining your parent’s reputation.

Your father’s status as a quidditch player kept you form that unattainable dream. Whenever he spoke of the sport he told it like some fantasy, something he had done so he could soar into the sky not bring it down onto his daughter.

You snapped your eyes shut the bright flash of light only worsening your headache. As the faint burn you were all too used to faded you gathered the image of the young boy in front of you. His mouth was dropped displaying two rows of crooked teeth, his brown eyes wide with amazement.

Your jaw tightened, “Do you need something?” the tone you used was clearly threatening, hoping to break him from the trance you had unintentionally put him under. The conformity of the boy’s features lead you to believe he was either deaf or stupid.

“Well?!” You snapped and it seemed to do the trick.

He blinked a few times, his open mouth giving way for a dopey grin, “You’re y/n y/l/n.”

You scoffed considering shoving the large camera he was holding down his throat, “I don’t know who you are talking about.”

“But-”

“Move before I move you myself.” You snarled and before the kid could answer you shoved him aside and continued for your class which you were now surly to be late for. Vector wouldn’t be happy.

You entered the room already spewing apologies you should have to give.

The teacher cut you off with a pointed look and you snapped your mouth shut. There were a couple snickers from the class and your head hammered on the front of your skull.

“You have been late almost every day this week Ms. y/l/n. Is this going to continue all year or should I cut you from my class now?” Her glare was stiff.

You tried to swallow your mouth suddenly feeling too dry, “I’m very sorry professor it’s just I have to come all the way from potions, and getting through the halls can be difficult.”

Her eyebrows raised, “I don’t see any of my other students struggling to get here on time.”

“Well, I-”

“Or do you simply believe the rules of this school don’t apply to you?” She sneered and giggles erupted around you.

Your cheeks burned and you hung your head, “That’s not what I was saying professor.” you mumbled know your words fell onto emptiness.

“Ten points from Slytherin. Go take a seat next to Diggory.”

You let your mouth fall shut nodding obediently as your blood boiled beneath your skin. Eyes followed you to your seat and didn’t leave until the lesson began. Your cheeks hurt, you pushed your hands upon them attempting to cool the burn of embarrassment. You didn’t even spare a glance to the boy seated next o you, his presence barely registering as you tried to convince the earth to swallow you whole.

You really hated attention.

Cedric Diggory didn’t quite understand why so many looked his way as he passed in the halls. He was good at making friends, his words always seemed to flow so seamlessly from his mouth, he never stumbled over syllables or tripped on his tongue. He was good with people, they liked him, he never gave them a reason to do otherwise.

Students envied him, he knew that. He wasn’t oblivious to the fact that girls and boys found him attractive, he wasn’t stupid. People often treated him like he was anyway, as if his popularity had drained his common sense. It was aggravating to try and prove that his worth went past his reputation again and again.

He always paid mind to you. He was aware of your fame, well your parent’s fame. His eyes like may others had frequently wandered towards you, he had a feeling you hated when they did. Your own were always narrowed into a glare as you did everything in your power to avoid the popularity you had been gifted.

As you sat beside him, your head buried in your hands, teacher continuing with a lesson he should be listening to he felt sorry for you. Sorry that you were so often painted as a self-entitled brat, sorry for the prying eyes and the whispers behind hands.

“I could walk you from potions if you wanted.” The words had spilled from his mouth like an overflowing sink.

Your head snapped towards him, eyes hard as steel as you bored into him. “What?”

Cedric suddenly felt like a fool, something that didn’t happen all that often. He stuttered for a sentence, “I, uhh..” What had he just said to you? It was like his thoughts had been replaced with cotton.”I have the same potions as you, and um you said that you were having a hard time getting through the halls. I could walk with you.”

“Whatever.” you ignored the part of you that thought it might be a half-decent idea and scoffed, “You would only draw more attention.”

The Hufflepuff chuckled, “I suppose you’re not wrong.”

You didn’t answer, eyes now zoned to the front of the room. He let the conversation drop.

If there was one thing that you hated more than attention it was exercise. You disliked exhausting yourself, the grime, and sweat making you feel incredibly dirty as you jogged the edge of the grounds. Your breaths were labored and you felt awkward as your thighs bummed together. Despite all of the discomfort, your head felt clear. Thoughts weren’t plagued but crisp as you listened to the chirp of birds and your own pants. Finally, you gave out, your legs groaning as you halted bending over. Lacing your hands on your knees, you tried to calm your racing heart.

“Oh, hey y/n!”

And your peace was ruined.

You stood up, stuffing your hands in your pockets and trying not to look as fatigued as you felt.

Cedric looked so good it hurt. The sweat on his brow giving him the polished look of a deity. His hair was untamed yet adorable, cheeks stained apple red from the exertion. The sun which was peeking above the horizon framed him, making the boys edge hazy and warm. He smiled down at you, his breaths steady as ever.

You cussed at him not even bothering to lower your voice. You watched his face falter with confusion. “Fuck you.” You repeated, “How do you look so good after running?”

His grin jumped back, “I just stared, I’m only two miles in.”

You were tempted to slap him, “Only.” you cursed him again for good measure.

“Are you heading back towards the school? I could go with you.”

You considered his offer for a brief moment, “Whatever you monster.”

Apparently he took that as a yes because the second you began to jog again he was beside you his pace obviously slowed to fit yours.

“I was actually happy to run into you.” He hummed.

You frowned, “Why?” it was more of a pant than a question.

He shrugged, “You seem nice.”

There were a lot of things you ‘seemed’ nice was not one of them. The side glance you gave him was question enough and you heard him chuckle a bit.

“I know you think you’re all scary and everything but you’re not that bad.”

You scowled, “You don’t. Know. Me.” heavy breaths broke what was supposed to be an intimidating sentence.

He nodded, “I think I’d like to.”

You didn’t respond and instead tried to focus back into your safe world of exhaustion and exhilaration. You managed to reach the front of the school and practically collapsed.

“Are you okay?” Cedric asked his hand landing lightly on your shoulder.

Shoving it off you nodded, “I’m going to get water before I pass out.” you heaved, “Feel free to continue your workout, Diggory.”

“Alright, I’ll see you-” the door shut in his face, “-later.”

Your exhaustion kept you from ripping off the heads a group of first-years who wanted your father’s autograph on your way to class. It faded as you made your way through transfiguration and potions. When dismissed you scrambled from the classroom at a quick pace, the last thing you wanted was to be late to Arithmancy again. Being publicly ridiculed once this week was plenty for you.

You didn’t stop as your name was called behind you, shouldering through a group of students who shot you glares. You heard it again the same voice, closer now and you picked up the pace.

Your shoulder was grabbed and you spun around with such force your bag fell from your shoulder. Quills and ink crashed to the ground and you swore loudly dropping to your knees to pick up the scattered supplies.

Cedric descended beside you helping gather your things. You snatched them from his hands before he offered and continuted down the hall without even a glance in his direction. His long strides brought him to your side.

“You don’t have to worry about being late you know.” He offered you stayed unresponsive. “You’ve still got 6 minutes till class.”

You let out a bothered sigh, “Well if I’m stopped then those minutes go fast.”

Cedric frowned, “Stopped?”

“Yep. It’s always like this at the beginning of the year. The first-years slowly find out who my parents are and want autographs or pictures as if it’s somehow my responsibility to serve them.” Your voice slowly filled with annoyance like a balloon expanding with air, “It’s irritating.”

The boy beside you furrowed his brows, “I can imagine.”

As if on queue a young girl trotted up to you stopping you in your tracks.

“You’re y/n y/l/n right?” Before you could answer she continued, “I was wondering if I could have an autograph from your mother, I saw her in a movie when I was six and I-”

“I’m really sorry but we have to get to class,” Cedric spoke, cutting off the bob child.

Her eyes widened a bit, “Oh sorry, um bye then.”

You gave a half-hearted wave before glancing at the boy beside you, “Thanks.”

He grinned, “It’s no problem.”

Neither of you noticed the eyes which followed you down the hall.

The Weasley twins had a special talent when it came to being bothersome. And they were sure to use it to their full potential, making a point to leave no one out of their troubles. You included. You didn’t know them all too well but after their offer to buy autographs from you and them sell them for a profit they had always stuck in your head.

“Ah, but if it isn’t my favorite celebrity.” Fred grinned his arm draping around your shoulder before being quickly shoved off.

“Well if it isn’t my least favorite red-head.” You respond attempting to return to the open textbook in front of you.

“It’s only natural that you like me more than him.” George grinned sitting beside you.

“Nah, you’re tied for last.” You mumbled scribbling down notes on a messy roll of parchment.

The younger twin frowned, “Are you sure I’m not beating him?”

You looked up at him amusement etched into your features, “Positive.”

Fred popped some of the jelly slugs sitting beside you into his mouth, chewing obnoxiously loud. “So you and Diggory huh?”

You stiffened, glancing up at him.

“I didn’t think he was your type.” George grinned catching one of the candies in his mouth as his twin tossed it over your head.

You scrunched your nose, “What?”

“Oh come on y/l/n, don’t be coy.”

“No reason to be shy, we all know you and the Hufflepuff prince are boning.” the younger giggled.

Your mouth went dry, “What did you just say?”

Fred hummed, “Wow you’re better at acting than I thought, I guess you take after your mother.”

“I haven’t the slightest clue what you’re talking about.” You sputtered.

“Wait really?”

You nodded.

“So you and Cedric aren’t dating?”

You scoffed, “God no, where in hell did you get that idea?”

The reflections shot glances at each other.

“The whole school thinks you are,” George stated plainly.

You slammed your textbook shut in a vicious snap, eyes from around the library drawing towards you. “That fucker.” You hissed and in a second you were on your feet.

You didn’t have to look very long to find the brunette. He was only a few corridors form the library a small group of people huddled with him.

“Diggory!” Your voice cut the pleasant atmosphere in two.

“Oh hey y/n, I was just looking fo-” Before his sentence could be finished you had snatched him by the tie and began dragging him behind you.

A series of whistles and calls followed you around the corner where you slammed open a door and shoved him into a small closet.

“Y/n whats are you doing?” He asked loosening his tie which you had unintentionally sinched around his neck.

Your hands met his shoulders pushing him back as hard as you could manage. Cedric stumbled, his back hitting the door with a thunk.

“You asshole!” You spat leaning over him, “How dare you?”

Cedric was bewildered, the anger clear on your face in the dull lighting. Your breaths were heavy, the sharp scent of mint hitting him, “I’m sorry what?”

You sneered, “Don’t you dare lie to me Diggory. I know what you did.” You had grabbed his tie again, forcing him to lower his head to meet your eyes.

“What did I do?” He asked, his cheeks feeling unbearably hot from the close proximity.

You scoffed, “I don’t know, how about telling the entire school we’re fucking dating?”

Cedric frowned, “I didn’t tell anyone we were dating.”

Now it was your turn to look baffled, “Then who did?”

Before your question could be answered you were falling forward, the door opening the two of you tumbling out into the sudden overwhelming brightness. You screwed your eyes shut in response, your ears catching the sound of laughter and whistles. You were brought your senses abruptly, the crowd gathered around you giggling behind their hands.

“Damn Cedric, I thought you were classier than a quickie in a closet.” Someone snickered.

You lept off the boy you had been straddling moments before your cheeks burning from embarrassment. Cedric sat up, his own face tinged red as he glared at the Hufflepuff which had spoken.

You shoved your way through the crowd wishing the earth would open up and let you fall into its core. Or at least those gathered around you.

“Wait y/n!”

You didn’t turn instead holding your middle finger in the air, making sure the entirety of the group could see it before you disappeared from sight. By the time Cedric was able to push his way through the crowd to where you had turned you were gone. He cussed letting his head fall into his hands.

Cedric didn’t see you the entirety of the weekend. You weren’t in the hall for meals or out in the cooling September air where many students were finding refuge. Your absence was annoying, the thoughts of your breath fanning over the bridge of his nose, chest pressed into his only worsening the harbored feelings he had buried. Rumors of your relationship continuted to circulate, the scene caused a few days before morphing into lewd stories which made his cheeks bloom with roses. He felt partially responsible for the trouble caused for you, his friends were some of the most active in the gossip.

Cedric knew it was only a matter of time before you would be forced to converse with him. You would never skip a class.

You appeared in potions Monday and managed to convince Snape to let you leave five minutes earlier than the rest of the class. There was no escaping assigned seats in Arithmancy. Or so Cedric thought. You had used your extra time to swap seats with another student now all he could do was bore holes into the back of your styled hair from four seats back. You didn’t even give him a chance during meals, eating quickly or simply never appearing, a girl you were with frequently taking a plate with her as she left instead.

It was aggravating. He knew that both of you barley qualified as acquaintances but having the small amount of progress he had made in your relationship ripped from him less than a week in was cruel.

Cedric was more persistent than you intended him to be. You didn’t quite understand why, you hardly knew each other. Yet he tried to corner you in hallways and stop you in classes. You supposed he probably felt guilty. You almost felt bad for avoiding him.

When he wasn’t present in potions you assumed him sick or skipping. So you didn’t find the need to leave early or rush from the room. You should have known it was a trick. The second you left the room you were trapped, Cedric stood directly in front of you his gaze almost daring you to run.

You sighed rolling your eyes, “Ok fine. You got me.”

“Can we talk?” He asked his hands stuffed into his robe pockets.

“Aren’t we all ready?” You challenged.

He shook his head softly, “Please?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You huffed.

“It will take thirty seconds.”

Your eyes narrowed, you knew it would take longer but your curiosity was killing you, what could he possibly have to say? Your money was on some useless apology.

“Fine.”

You were lead deeper into the dungeons beginning to suspect he was going to murder you where your screams couldn’t be heard until he came to a stop in some far away corridor.

You crossed your arms tapping your foot impatiently, “Well?”

Cedric felt that unfamiliar twist in his stomach as he looked down at you, his hand scratching at the back of his neck, “Well I wanted to say sorry.”

You sneered at this, “Are you serious? If this what you dragged me here for then you can just tell your friends that they are dumbasses with no life of their own so they have to stick their nose in other peoples to stay entertained and leave.”

The Hufflepuff was taken aback, “Oh no that’s not it, umm, you, I mean I have-”

“Spit it out Diggory,” you demanded.

He nodded, “Right, uh I like you y/n.”

Your eyes shot wide.

“And I was just wondering if you would let me take you out.” He finished feeling better now that the words had been spoken. The moment was ruined quickly.

“No.” Your answer was plain.

“Oh.” Cedric wasn’t sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t that.

You sighed, the boy’s face now deflated like a sad puppy. The odd feeling of guilt settled in your stomach, “It’s not because of you.” You assured him, “I mean your talented and hot and nice and everything, it’s just I don’t want to deal with all the shit.”

His cheeks flushed at the complaint but his lips twitched into a frown, “What shit?”

“Ya know.” You spoke gesturing around you, “Your friends and the rumors and everything. I’ve already got enough on my plate, I don’t need anymore.”

Cedric nodded, understanding, “Then give me a chance.”

You hummed a question.

“The astronomy tower tomorrow night, meet me there after curfew and let me prove I’m worth it,” he explained.

You blinked owlishly at him, head tilted slightly to the side, “Seriously?”

“Yeah. One date, no commitment, if you don’t like it can go back to ignoring me and no one will know.”

His offer was tempting. The way his eyes glimmered with hope only making it more enticing. So you gave in, “Alright.”

A smile stretched his lips, “Really?”

You shrugged, “Why not?”

“You won’t regret it.”

Part of you already knew that.

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petri808 · 3 years

Text

Nalu Yakuza Au *cover art by @jmoart214 💜

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |

This chapter came out a little longer than usual. lemony teasing

Natsu’s secretary called her boss from the front office. “Mr. Dragneel, Mr. Avatar is here.”

“Thank you, Ms. Kinana. Send him in.”

Because no one in the organization was a computer whiz, he contracted with an independent IT person who was recommended by Yura. The guy, Jerome Avatar wasn’t skittish, didn’t care who he worked for as long as it paid well, and generally had a pleasant demeanor. As the accountant, Yura was in contact with Jerome the most, but for any major issues or changes, those had to be cleared with Natsu first. It was mostly quick, in and out of the office dealings.

Jerome shook Natsu’s hand over the desk before taking a seat.

“So,” Natsu questioned, “what brings you here today? Is there something I need to approve?”

“No, nothing new. I asked for this meeting because I came across some intelligence you might be interested in.”

“Oh?”

“I learned that your rival Heartfilia had been in contact with a new cyber security client, Mikage Kaishā who’s into a lot of shady dealings with government contacts.”

Natsu shrugged his shoulders. “Sounds like just a typical client for her, probably has her launder money for them. I don’t really pay attention to her clients because we deal with different things. But I do appreciate you telling me.”

“Should I keep an eye on them?”

“That’s fine if you believe it’s worth it. And if you learn about anything that could hurt us let me know immediately. By the way, how did you find out this information?”

“A friend in the field told me about it, then I hacked into Heartfilia’s computers to authenticate the information.”

Natsu sat forward in his chair. “You hacked into her computer? I’m surprised her employee didn’t catch that, cause I know she’s good at this stuff too.”

The man grinned. “Well, not as good as me.” He pointed to Natsu’s laptop. “If you’d like, I can set it up so you can access her system from your computer too.”

“Oh, I don’t want to tamper with her company—”

Jerome waved a hand nonchalantly to stop him. “I wouldn’t advise it either, if you touch things, that’s what’ll get attention, but you can watch what’s going on. Keep an eye on her calendar, meeting dates, whatever you want.”

Natsu sat back, rubbing his chin. The offer was a very tempting one indeed. A chance to stalk his ex through cyberspace… someone must have mentioned to this Jerome guy their history. It wasn’t exactly hidden, but not something talked about either amongst lower ranking employees. This wasn’t the first time Jerome had brought them intelligence info, so maybe he was looking to increase his usefulness, climb the ladder so to speak? Being connected to a powerful Yakuza house was certainly handy, and what better way than to tap into such a personal subject.

“That could be interesting,” Natsu finally responded. “Alright, what do you have to do to set it up? And make sure it’s nothing I could screw up accidentally cause I really don’t want her to find out.”

Jerome looked at his watch as if calculating his options. “I could do it now. Might take me about an hour if you can go without the laptop for that amount of time.”

“You have to take it back to your office or something?”

“No,” the man shook his head. “I can do it right here, so I can explain along the way.”

“Perfect.” Natsu then called his secretary and requested she double his lunch order due to an extended meeting.

While the computer tech fiddled, Natsu just sat back with his meal, watching him work. Math wasn’t his strong suit— nor academics for that matter. Growing up, his father had always told him he would be next in line as boss, so he only learned what he needed to for that world. One needed strength, cunning, street smarts, not book smarts. Though he had to admit the things these hackers could do was scary when you thought about it. Lucy was lucky in that her best friend was just a wiz at language— including computer languages. It all looked like gibberish, but the woman interpreted it almost like a savant. According to Jerome, from what he’d seen so far, Levy was not yet at his skill level, but that could easily change with time and experience like he’d been through.

“Natsu you—” Gray paused his knock on the doorframe. “Sorry, I thought the meeting would be done by now.”

“It’s fine, Jerome is hacking Lucy’s system for me right now.” Natsu responded with a grin. “Now I’ll see what she’s up to in real time.”

Gray groaned and ran a hand down his face in disgust. “I’m not even gonna respond to that. But I will tell you I told you so when it blows up in your face later.”

“Tch. She won’t know, right Jerome?”

“She shouldn’t unless you touch something.” The man answered while continuing to type.

“See. It’ll be fine.”

“You’re an idiot. Anyway,” Gray waved a hand nonchalantly as he left, “call me when your free to go over the new orders.”

“It will be fine, right?” Natsu asked Jerome a second time with a bit of anxiety in his tone.

Jerome stopped typing. “As long as you just observe they shouldn’t see you, just don’t get excited and touch something.”

“I don’t plan to; not like I’ll know how to do that anyways.”

“I’m almost finished, but do you want me to turn on her web camera so you can see through it?”

“But she won’t see me?”

“No, for you it’ll just be like watching a one-way video feed with image and audio.”

After a momentary pause, Natsu’s eyes narrowed with a mischievous grin. “Do it.”

Being able to see Lucy every day and feed his addiction was just too tempting, ‘I’m turning into a junky.’ But Gray’s words entered his mind. What if the man was right, could this bite him in the ass later? Probably… Though how bad could it really be? He really had no plans to interfere with Lucy’s business, just her personal life— and yes, he knew it sounded horrible. What right did he have to stalk his ex? None. ‘I just worry about her, is that so wrong?’ Lucy’s tough, but she’s just a woman and their world didn’t always treat women fairly. His desire to protect her bordered neuroticism, but could anyone blame him considering the underworld they worked in. ‘I’m just doing it to protect her,’ Natsu justified it to himself. Guys like Gray who haven’t fallen in love yet, ‘they just don’t understand.’ If anything were to happen to Lucy, he didn’t know what he would do. Probably move Heaven and earth and kill any in his way for what they’d done.

It took just over an hour before Jerome finished installing the spyware and making sure the systems were still secured. Just a one-way mirror that Levy shouldn’t catch unless really digging for it. Another 20 minutes were spent explaining to Natsu how to do the accessing part, including pulling up the webcam whenever he wanted to. “Or just leave it running,” Jerome noted. “It’ll just show up in this window,” he pointed towards the screen, “and as long as you don’t log out completely from your computer it’ll stay open.”

“Who turns off their computers?”

“Actually, it’s a good idea to turn them off now and then so any software updates can be completed, but since I manage your systems, there’s not really a need to.”

“Great.” The two men stood up and shook hands. “Thanks, Jerome.”

“It was my pleasure.”

When Natsu arrived each day at headquarters, the first thing and last thing he did was check to see if there was anything new or interesting going on Lucy’s side. It was like being hooked on one of their products, because the high it gave sucked him right in. But so far, he also stayed away from the video feed. Looking through her calendar or emails were cold and impersonal, but maybe the video was too close, too real, too much of a moral dilemma in crossing that line of a peeping Tom. That didn’t mean his addiction may one day require more feeding…

October had rolled around, and the air outside grew crisp and cold. It was a beautiful time of the year with the color changing leaves, reminding that winter was soon upon them. How quickly the time sure flew. The Dragneel Yakuza clan had already started preparing for their end of year Bonenkai to happen in mid-December. This plus the Shinnenkai in January were the two biggest parties the clan threw for all their members. The first is to forget the stresses of the past year, while the other was to welcome a successful new year. Natsu spared no expense on the food and drinks to take care of the loyalty and hard work their members contributed. From the emails, he knew that Lucy’s group had also started preparing for theirs. ‘Maybe I’ll crash her party,’ he mused to himself. ‘Oh, what’s this?’ His eyes fell on a new email of an appointment reminder for the next day. It was for Lucy’s monthly massage at an upscale spa. Natsu checked his own calendar and noticed he had nothing booked, no meetings, no shipments arriving— a perfect opportunity.

The next day, Natsu went to the spa early and spoke directly to the owner, paying them a nice chunk of change to allow him access and to play along. Lucy was scheduled for 2pm and arrived right on time. So, as he waited behind the scenes, the receptionist acted like normal and directed her inside. She had a regular masseuse, something Natsu knew he couldn’t fake upfront, so that person stood inside the room to greet her.

“Welcome, Ms. Heartfilia. I’ll step out while you get ready. Please lie on your stomach like normal.”

“Thank you, Kenji,” Lucy smiled. She’d been coming here for a couple years and was aware of the routine. The male masseuse had strong, but gentle hands and knew her body well by now.

Natsu had to admit he wasn’t happy to find out Lucy’s regular masseuse was a guy but held back from lashing out. He didn’t want to do anything to mess up this adventure— and oh, he planned to have his own revenge. It wouldn’t be as sexual as the soapland incident but knowing many of her trigger points meant he could do a bit of damage well enough. Now, Natsu had noted that Kenji’s voice was a bit deeper than his own, which would be difficult to fake, but the man explained he didn’t do much talking while working and played relaxing music during the session. Perfect. Natsu could just hit play and not talk at all.

“Ready, Ms. Heartfilia?” Kenji called out through the closed door.

The muffled yes was heard, and the man stepped away, leaving Natsu to his business. He entered the room and immediately turned on the pre-set music, a light instrumental with Asian undertones. It was quite pleasing to listen to. And there Lucy was under a silk sheet to cover her naked body, with her arms up and crossed, head perched on the relaxed hands, and hair up in a loose bun, revealing her beautiful neck. Natsu almost shuddered at the sight and knowledge he would get to touch her skin… it was the one thing she didn’t allow him to do at Soapland— touch. His grin grew as he rubbed his hands together to warm them before making the first move.

He moved the sheet to uncover Lucy’s lower half, up to the thighs, then applied a film of scented massage oils to his hands with a few drops over the taut muscles along her long legs, chasing the dripping liquid along her skin to smooth them over. His hands glide through several passes to the swell of her ass, then back down again all the way to the ankles, fingers applying pressure against the tendons and ligaments to gently work out any tension it encountered. Lucy sighed wispily as his hands massaged each foot, squeezing, smoothing, paying attention to each digit and every curve. His thumbs applied pressure at the arches, kneading the tight knots there from wearing heels all day long. He stayed focused on the area, her toes curling and flexing as the mewls leaching from her show their pleasure, until Natsu felt the knots give and relax away.

“Mmm, you’re getting good at that Kenji,” Lucy purred with a little huskiness in her tone.

Natsu grinned to himself as he lowered the sheet back down, so she stayed warm and moved onto her supple ass. Using both hands, he took his time to knead each cheek through the silken fabric, using his fingers to follow the gluteus muscles, starting near the leg, and following the swell of her curve upwards, slowly riding the fibers looking for any knots or tense areas. One cheek, then the other paying loving attention to and listening to the sounds Lucy made to clue him in on where to go. Every sigh a notch in his belt, each mewling purr a win. Natsu grew bolder, fanning out his thumb each time it got closer to her thighs to touch…

“Oh, Kenji,” Lucy whined, “you’re being a naughty boy today— keep it up.”

‘What?!’ Natsu’s hands paused and tensed for a split second before catching himself. Does Kenji mess with her too?! He shook his head and finished up in the area quickly trying not to let such thoughts stop him. ‘Just focus…’ Natsu grumbled in his head.

After applying more oil to his hands, he moved the sheet down to reveal Lucy’s back and for a second time, Natsu paused on what it contained. Her tattoo… It symbolized… he took a deep breath and dropped more oil on to the skin, willing away the memories breaching his mind. He didn’t want to think about it, not now. It was too painful.

“You okay, Kenji?” Lucy questioned as if noticing the slight pause or tremble in the man’s hands.

Natsu mumbled a soft Mmhmm and dived into the massage so Lucy wouldn’t grow more concerned, missing the uptick in the corners of her lips. He slowly smoothed along the skin using the base of his palms for pressure, each hand following the muscles, moving out from the waist, up the center of her back, and flaring out towards the sides just below the shoulder blades, repeating the same movement, each time increasing the speed while lessening the pressure. Next, he targeted the upper back and shoulder blades, an area he knew Lucy held a lot of tension from carrying the weight of her voluptuous bosoms. With precise ministrations, Natsu applied careful pressure with his thumbs and follows the curve of the blades up and around to the top of the shoulder. He then searched with the pads of his fingers for any knots along her trap muscles, moving up along the spine and fanning out to the top of her shoulders.

“Oh, yeah, right there,” Lucy mewled when he reached a specific spot.

The area around her spine, between the shoulder blades held the most tension and knots from constantly holding the upright, flexed posture that wearing heels will create. Her wispy sighs signaled the release of her tense muscles, bringing another wave of pride swelling in him. Natsu continued onto her neck, his strong hands kneaded the supple flesh, fingers palpating and soothing all the knots. Her neck too, held a few tense areas, especially around the base of the head, so he did his best to melt them away. He worked through Lucy’s mewls and moaning sighs, almost sexual in nature, aroused and a little heated in the face knowing his handiwork brought forth such sounds. Ugh, how he wanted to hear more of it! Lucy putty in his hands and spread between his thighs, calling out his name…

“You’ve gotten better at this… Natsu,” the cocky teasing tone, snapped him out of his dream.

“Natsu?” He tried failingly to disguise his voice. “I’m Kenji, Ms. Heartfilia.”

“Uh-huh. You think I can’t tell the difference Natsu?” Lucy quipped back with a chuckle. “Kenji’s routine is very different. Plus, I knew the moment I smelled your cologne.”

Busted.

“Tch. Well, if you knew it was me all along, why’d you let me do this?”

“Making you work is my payback.” She settled back down, relaxed on her arms. “Now, chop, chop, finish the job.”

This little minx! He was the one supposed to be torturing her this time, not the other way around! “Fine, kitten.” Natsu gritted out a smile and took hold of her neck again to placate and lull Lucy back into thinking he would go along. He massaged the sides with the tips of his fingers Both hands wrapped around, and his thumbs pushing up through her hair against the muscles on the back of her head.

“If only you’d taken care of me like this before,” Lucy mumbled.

Natsu paused and leaned over her ear. “Why not let me take care of you now?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“No, I don’t know the answer, that’s part of the problem!”

Lucy sighed. “Natsu, I don’t want to fight right now. I’m here to relax, not fight. If you’re done, then leave and send Kenji back in.”

“Oh, yeah. Why? Because he’s another one of your boy toys? He gonna be naughty again with you once I leave?!”

“Pfft, I said that knowing it was you, idiot.”

“I think you live to torture me, Angel. But you’re right. I don’t wanna fight right now either, so—” Natsu leaned down quick and latched his mouth onto the area between her shoulder blades, sucking hard.

Lucy squealed and reached back frantically trying to claw at his face, but he grabbed her hands, knowing if she struggled any harder, she risked completely exposing herself. He held her for a few seconds, and once satisfied he’d achieved his goal, let go.

“Natsu! Did you put a hickey on me?!”

“This Angel,” he trailed his fingers over Lucy’s tattoo as he spoke, “belongs to me. Will always be mine,” he whispered close to her ear. “You know it, I know it, and your boy toys will know it too.”

“I hate you.”

“Nah,” Natsu stood up and covered her back up with the sheet. “You hate that you don’t hate me. It’s okay. I still love you too. See ya around kitten.”

Natsu heard the woman’s sigh as the door closed behind him and smiled to himself. He knew she didn’t actually hate him, their relationship was just complicated at the moment, never love the actual problem between them… Though, it had been a dick move to give her a hickey, but that’s what Lucy gets for leading him on like that. She could’ve just stopped the massage immediately if she knew it was him all along, so to let him go through the entire process, it was tit for tat— and hey, at least it’s only temporary.

‘It’s your move next kitten…’

#nalu #nalu au #nalu fan fiction #nalu yakuza au #nalu fan fic #natsu dragneel #lucy hearfilia #ch 7 #we'll take back heaven #petri808 #lemony scented

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jewish-space-laser · 4 years

Text

Could Be Lethal - Epilogue

“I'm scared to death that she might be it, That the love is real, that the shoe might fit, She might just be my everything and beyond...”

-Beyond, Leon Bridges

Hello friends! I’m honestly a little choked up posting this. CBL has meant so much to me over this past year, and all I can think about right now is how appreciative for every single person who has supported me, whether you sent me messages, reblogged with nice tags, or gave it any kind of love. None of it went unnoticed, I promise. Special shout out to @for-fucks-sake-h @oh-honey-styles @andwhenshesays @real-work-of-art @haute-romance-quotidienne for hyping me up and proofreading and just being all-around incredible. Okay, this got kind of long, so I’ll end it here, but as always please tell me what you think. I love chatting with you all <3 xoxox Tile (3.3k, she’s a short one!)

You and Harry were friends, with a capital ‘F’. Yeah, you’ve been sleeping in his bed for the past two months, and maybe your entire nervous system goes into hyperdrive when you’re in the same room, but that’s normal, right?

The one where you and Harry have an arrangement… of the cuddling sort.

Catch up here!

You were so, so late.

It was half an hour past the time your friends were set to meet at Slim’s, and you hadn’t even left your flat yet. Meredith had texted you twice asking where you were, but you ignored her.

You and Harry had decided to keep your relationship on the down-low, just for a little while. It wasn’t that you wanted to keep secrets from your friends, you just wanted a little bit of time to adjust to your new normal before having questions fired at you left and right. They were a curious bunch, after all.

“Shit,” you heard Harry mutter from your bedroom. You lowered your mascara wand to peek through the doorway, seeing him frowning at his phone. His jeans were unbuttoned, shirt nowhere to be found, and he only had one sock on. “Nick is calling me.”

“Well, don’t answer!” You laughed. Leaning back towards the bathroom mirror, you continued trying to rush through your makeup.

You absolutely hated rushing, but you hadn’t been able to deny Harry’s suggestion that he should join you in the shower. It had been less than a week since you made things official, but you already knew you were in a world of trouble. You’d never be able to say no to him.

“I think I have to answer,” he sighed, “this is the third time he’s called me, I’m pretty sure he’s getting worried.”

“Okay,” you snorted, “but don’t tell him you’re here.”

“I’ll make something up,” he assured you.

Giggles bubbled up in your throat as you listened to him tell Nick that he’d accidentally taken an extra long nap, and that he’d be on his way shortly. He didn’t sound all that convincing, but it would have to do.

You hadn’t heard him get off the phone, so you jumped a bit when you felt his arms wrap around your waist from behind. You set down the makeup brush you had been using, catching his eye in the mirror. He smiled softly, pressing a little kiss to your shoulder.

“You look really nice,” he told you. At first, it seemed innocent, but then he pressed another kiss to your shoulder, and another to your neck. “Like, really nice.”

You couldn’t help the sigh that blew out of your lips as your head lolled to the side. He was entirely too charming, but you were already late.

“We need to finish getting ready,” you managed to breathe. It was always harder to string sentences together when his lips were on you. “You’re not even dressed.”

He only hummed, closing his eyes as he moved his lips up to your jaw. His hands had moved lower, sliding over your hips and down to the tops of your thighs. You felt like you were on fire.

“Harry, please, we need to....” you gulped when his left hand slide just under the hem of your skirt, “we need to go.”

“Do we?” He teased. “I was thinking maybe we could just… stay here….”

Temptation crept up your spine, but you pushed it down. The two of you had been stuck together like magnets for the past five days, you should be able to get through one night without being all over each other.

“You already, um,” you gulped, feeling Harry’s lips turn up against your skin, “you told Nick you were on your way.”

He pulled back with a sigh, letting the hand under your skirt fall to his side. You watched in the mirror as he rolled his eyes, resting his chin on your shoulder as you finished up with your makeup.

“I don’t know why you’re so stressed about this,” Harry mused, following you as you broke away from him to throw the tube of lipstick into your purse, “it’s just our friends. We see them all the time.”

He was right, of course, but part of you really needed this night to go well, without a single hiccup. Because of you and your inability to express emotions, your entire friend group had suffered. Things were weird when you and Harry had stopped talking, and it was undoubtedly felt by the lot of them. You just wanted the dynamic to feel easy again.

“I guess you’re not wrong,” you admitted, “I just hate lying to them. I’m so bad at it.”

“You are,” he snickered, pulling you into his chest, “it was your idea, though. I personally don’t care if they know.”

You groaned, twisting out of his arms once again to slip your shoes on. Harry followed suit, kneeling down to lace up his vans. The way he was gazing up at you made you squirm a bit, the concern and admiration he felt for you more apparent than usual.

“Babe…” he sighed out, rising to his feet, “you make things so hard for yourself, I swear. You’re always thinking about things that could go wrong. What about the things that have already gone right?”

You sucked your lips into your mouth, not entirely sure how to respond. Maybe you were a pessimist, maybe it was your anxiety, or maybe it was just the way your brain was wired, but you’d always had a tendency to think of the worst possible scenario. Harry had a point though; there was a fine line between self preservation and self sabotage. Perhaps the world wouldn’t end if you gave your anxious brain a breather and allowed yourself to relax.

Getting together with Harry had been hell, but all of the obstacles you’d created were just in your head. Pulling excuses out of thin air was truly your specialty, anything to keep yourself from taking risks, but eventually it had been exhausting holding yourself back from the things you wanted. You didn’t want your anxiety to ruin your happiness anymore.

So you took a deep breath, and then you shifted your focus. Sure, it was going to be uncomfortable fielding questions from your rowdy group of friends, but Harry would be sitting right next to you. And he would stay next to you. And he was in front of you, right now, just inches away, loving you. Suddenly, your concerns regarding your friends weren’t worth dwelling on.

“That’s true,” you rolled your shoulders, letting go of some tension, “lots of things are going right.”

“Like what?” He smirked, swiping his car keys off the little table in your foyer.

“Let’s see,” you said playfully, pretending to be deep in thought as you locked up your flat, “I’ve got a decent job.”

“That you do,” he agreed, “and?”

“I quite like my neighborhood,” you remarked, tilting your head, “my flat is small but I’m proud of it.”

“Okay,” his grin widened, “anything else?”

He was fishing for compliments, but you refused to give in. He faked offense when you just rolled your eyes, and bumped his hip into yours before tangling his fingers with yours. You walked in hand-in-hand until you reached his car.

“I’m lucky to have you,” you said quietly as he buckled his seatbelt. He paused, lips pulled up into a sweet smile.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, meeting him halfway as you shared a short kiss, “having you in my life is very, very right.”

He kissed you quickly once more before settling into his seat, fiddling with the rearview mirror until he was satisfied. He’d let you borrow his car the other day, and made a huge fuss about the way you readjusted his seat. You loved him anyway.

In fact, you loved him so much, you weren’t sure you were going to be able to hide it. Maybe Harry was right… you were just creating barriers for yourself. How nice would it be if you could slide into the regular booth at Slim’s, next to Harry, and hold his hand? When you were trying to be secretive about your sleepovers, you’d barely even interacted in front of other people, too paranoid that you’d give yourselves away immediately.

It was a scary thing to be thinking about, especially as you were on your on way there already, so you twisted a knob on Harry’s dash to change the radio station. After a few moments of searching for a song to distract you, you gave up and turned the entire thing off.

“Maybe we should just tell them,” you blurted, biting your lip nervously.

Harry’s eyebrows shot up, and he glanced at you for just a moment before returning his focus to the road. “We can do whatever you want, babe.”

“What do you want?” You asked.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times. “Well, I mean… I get wanting to keep this to ourselves because it’s so… new, you know?” He looked over at you once he was stopped at a red light, a sheepish smile painted over his cheeks. “But at the same time… I’m excited. Like, really excited, and I want to tell my friends. They’ll be excited for us, I know it.”

Them being excited was what you were afraid of, in a way. You knew your friends well, so you knew that Meredith would ask too many questions, Thomas would say something inappropriate, Grimmy would accidentally talk about it on air, and Jessie would probably just silently sit in the corner. The image you’d created in your head was chaotic and overwhelming.

But maybe it wouldn’t be like that. Maybe it was worth finding out.

“You’re overthinking, I can tell,” Harry frowned, “listen, like I said, we’ll do whatever you want. Tonight is meant to be fun.”

“No,” you shook your head, “let’s tell them.”

“Really? That’s what you want?”

“Yes.”

And you meant it. As terrifying as it would be, keeping more secrets from your friends wasn’t the answer. Plus, they would likely ask a bunch of intrusive questions, anyway. Meredith was nosy long before you ever spent a single night in Harry’s bed.

Not to mention that Harry was excited, about you. It warmed your heart in a way you’d never felt before, like you were floating and sinking at the same time. He was proud to be able to call you his, and you understood because you felt the same way. If giving them the news about your relationship would make him happy, then it was a no-brainer. His happiness would always win over your fear.

Your own happiness, too.

Harry ended up being right, of course. The moment the two of you walked through the door together, hands interlocked, the group was ecstatic.

“Holy shit!” Nick had shouted, loud enough that people at other tables were looking over. “Fucking finally!”

Meredith had let out the most grating, nails-on-a-chalkboard squeal, but you’d barely had time to grimace before she was throwing her arms around you. Just like you’d predicted, it was loud, over the top, and even a bit embarrassing… but it was also a celebration. Even though they made a scene, it wasn’t awkward, or overwhelming. They just wanted to support you.

And being the center of attention wasn’t as difficult when you had a partner. Harry was more than willing to take the lead on answering questions, allowing you to sit back and just process everything.

“Next round is on me,” Jessie announced. Harry had just finished explaining to Thomas that the cuddling had been going on for months. Nick and Meredith hadn’t looked shocked, and Jessie had just looked amused.

“Cheers, friend,” you smiled, “need help carrying?”

They nodded at you, so you slid out of your seat, giving Harry’s arm a soft squeeze before making your way to the bar. Jessie caught the attention of the bartender right away, listing off the drink orders that everyone had become familiar with.

“How are you doing?” You asked them, leaning your back against the wooden bar.

“Me?” They scoffed, mirroring your position. “I should be asking how you are. Last time I saw you, you were a total mess. Well, figuratively. Your apartment was ridiculous, I can literally still smell Clorox.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Sorry you had to witness my panic induced cleaning. That talk we had ended up being really helpful.”

“Good. It sounds like things are going well, then,” they said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks,” you rested your head on their shoulder, “I am sorry though, for making things weird for everyone.”

“Whatever,” Jessie waved a hand through the air, “it’s over now. We just didn’t like seeing the both of you in so much pain, especially when it wasn’t really our place to do anything about it.”

Just then, the bartender tapped your shoulders, pointing to the six drinks lined up on the counter. You grabbed four while Jessie grabbed two, and together you headed back to the table.

“Oh good, you’re back,” Meredith said, plucking her drink from your hand, “Harry was just telling us about the time he got blackout drunk at some pub in Hackney, weren’t you Harry?”

“No,” he said drily, “I wasn’t.”

You passed him his water, which he promptly took a large gulp of. The woes of being a designated driver.

This went on for a while longer, and eventually your friends stopped grilling you, satisfied with the information they’d pried out of you. Now, it just felt like a normal night, where everybody chatted and gossipped and caught up. So familiar, that you weren’t even phased when a text from Harry popped up on your lock screen.

From: Harry Styles 9:56PM

Are we sleeping at mine tonight?

“Yeah,” you giggled, locking your phone and glancing up at Harry. He was already looking at you with bright eyes and a gentle smile.

He leaned down and quickly pressed his lips to your forehead. “Perfect.”

Just weeks ago, you were secretly texting under the table and making up excuses to leave at the same time, a stark contrast to tonight, where you both hugged your friends goodbye and left together, hand-in-hand and drama free. It was refreshing to be able to fully relax together, no longer tethered to the weight that comes with keeping a secret. Harry seemed especially carefree tonight, running his hands up and down your sides as he walked behind you, only letting go once you reached his car.

“I had fun tonight,” he remarked, twisting to look over his shoulder as he reversed from the parking spot. His arm was stretched out behind your headrest, and you had to resist the urge to lean into him.

“Me too,” you hummed, crossing your legs, “it was nice being able to sit next to you for a change.”

“I agree,” he nodded, looking straight ahead out the windshield, “although that skirt has been driving me crazy all evening. In this case it might have been easier having you all the way across the table from me.”

You only giggled, rolling down the car window. You needed some cool air on your skin, which was suddenly feeling flushed all over at the thought of Harry checking you out.

“I’m not kidding,” his lips were in a straight line, but you knew him well enough to recognize the twinkle in his eye, “that thing is coming off the moment we get home.”

You soon found out that he was quite serious, pinning you against the door the moment it closed behind you. He pressed the front of his body fully against yours, not a single inch of space between your chests as he dipped down to slot your lips together.

You gasped for air when he pulled back, throwing your head back against the door as he slowly dragged his palms down your body, stopping to squeeze the flesh of your hips and finally resting on the curve of your ass.

“How do you do it?” Harry wondered out loud, bunching the fabric of your skirt in his fists as he pulled it upwards. “It’s like you don’t even try.”

“Do what?” You breathed, lifting up a leg and looping it around his hip.

He let out an appreciative grunt, grinding his hips into the flimsy lace of your underwear.

“Like… you just make me want you so much,” he wheezed, arching back slightly as you fiddled with the fly on his jeans, “you’re not even trying to be sexy, like tonight, just fucking sitting and chatting shit with our mates, I wanted to- oh, fuck me!”

He let out a shaky breath when you reached inside his boxers, rubbing along his length until you could grasp your fingers around him and tug him free from his boxers. After just a few slow pumps, he was swatting your hands away, pulling the crotch of your panties to the side and pushing into you with a slow buck of his hips. He pushed slowly, in and out, until he was as deep as he could be, and you revelled in the feeling of his hipbones pressed against your pelvis.

“Good?” He nuzzled his nose into the crook of your neck.

“Mhm,” you managed, sliding a hand up his back under his shirt.

It wasn’t long before he rendered you a moaning mess, one hand gripping your leg under the knee and the other looped behind the small of your back. He was hitting the deepest, most perfect spots inside of you, and even though the doorknob was digging into your ass, and you still hadn’t taken off your heels, you wouldn’t change a thing.

He was so good at finding creative ways to fuck you, whether it was a spontanious quickie over the desk in his office, or the slow, sultry sex you’d had in his home studio. It was fun, and exciting, and unique, and you couldn’t get enough.

His thrusts became faster and harder the moment you reached your hand down to play with your clit. He was watching your fingers like a hawk, not blinking as he watched you pleasure yourself while he fucked into you. Soon enough, your thighs were shaking, cries escaping your mouth as your orgasm thundered through your veins, sending tingles to the tips of your toes and a warmth throughout your belly.

Harry followed suit soon after, driving his cock into you once more before spilling inside of you. Neither of you moved, simply standing against the door.

“You didn’t even take my skirt off,” you eventually broke the silence, dropping your leg. Your hip was definitely going to be sore in the morning.

“Would you like me to remove it?” He snickered, digging his fingers into your sides. “I’d be happy to rid you of it, right here, right now.”

As you and your boyfriend chased each other around the house, teasingly undressing each other as you went, you didn’t spare a single thought on your worries, anxieties, or fears. No, they weren’t even on the radar.

Instead, all you could focus on was how unbelievably happy you were right now.

You felt high, but this time you weren’t afraid of falling because Harry would be there to catch you. There could be pits of lava, fields of thorns, pointy rocks, rivers full of piranhas… and you’d still take the blind leap if it meant being in his arms. In a way, you’d already been through hell to get here, plagued by your own mind, the most torturous kind of self sabotage.

It didn’t matter what the future held. Hypotheticals were no longer important; what mattered was what you had right now, right in front of you.

And that was enough.

~~~

Thank you for reading! I’m so sad that their story has come to an end, but it’s not over! We’ll definitely be seeing more of them. I love you all xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox Tile

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harrystyles fanfic #fanfiction #one direction #harry #styles #friends to lovers #could be lethal #cbl #epilogue

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fairestwriting · 3 years

Text

title: a treasure hunt of sorts

word count: 2696

summary: Malleus had been gifting Ellis gems, recently, so many that they were piling up and he wouldn't know what to do with them even if he actually understood the meaning behind the gift. After some "careful consideration", he decides to give something back.

commissioned by @nymphgrotto , also available on ao3 here ! tysm for the commission, i hope you enjoy it!

my guidelines for commissions are here, in case anyone else is interested

Everything in the Ramshackle dorm building creaks, floorboards and doors and ceiling threatening to collapse in a way that Ellis somehow had just grown used to. Door shut behind him, he walks noisy steps towards the lounge, leaving the beautiful night outside, and placing a red gem the size of his palm on the coffee table.

Another one. The fifth one he’d gotten this week, and they were only halfway through it.

The gems gather on top of the surface like freshly picked fruits, full of color and life and almost glaring at him in their little shiny pile. He slides the blazer off, tossing it somewhere — Grim was asleep at this point, it’s fine if he wasn’t being the best influence — and lets himself collapse on the plush stuffing of the couch.

The gems were a gift from Malleus Draconia — A name that strikes fear into many students’ hearts, for reasons Ellis just couldn’t see. They had met by chance outside Ramshackle, Malleus was taking a nightly stroll and they just ended up chatting for a reason or another. He found out bits and pieces of information every time they saw each other. That he liked abandoned buildings and the night sky, that he was very knowledgeable about gargoyles and owned a tamagotchi, then his name that he had been refusing to actually tell. They hit it off and became friends. Malleus was a person Ellis liked to be around.

And a person he had an exponentially growing crush on, he admits, but just to himself for now. He sighs again, head in his hands. His crush, putting a different precious gem in his hand every night. It should have been a dream scenario, but he just doesn’t get it. The way Malleus does it is so unaffected, they couldn’t be heartfelt gifts at all. It looked like he was lending him money.

Maybe that’s what’s happening, he thinks tiredly, looking around the inside of the building. He had been cleaning up for most of the semester, it managed to look decent now, if only a little like somewhere a grandmother would live, but that was cozy in its own way. The outside was still screwed up, though, so maybe Malleus trying to help him with repairs? Ellis stares at the pile of gems, they stare back. With the amount all of them were worth, they were probably enough to cover all the costs needed to polish Ramshackle’s outside, so maybe…

...he really didn’t want his crush, a guy so lofty and admirable, to think he just couldn’t do something like that by himself, though. The very thought of it makes him uneasy.

He sighs. Maybe he should talk it out with someone, he was burning up his brain cells just thinking by himself like this. He scrolls through names in his contact list before stopping on Cater’s. Cater had mentioned talking to Malleus before, right? And he didn’t seem scared. Plus he may have been aware of Ellis’ crush, even half so — Though that’s sort of embarrassing, it’s not like he’d been trying to hide.

But it’s okay, the phone makes its dialing noise. “Hey, Cater?”

“Ellis! Hi hi.” Cater chimes from the other side of the line. Ellis could hear ruffling even through the phone, maybe he just moved around on his bed. “What’s up!”

“Malleus.” Ellis starts, leaning back against the couch. Thank god it was so comfy, right. “Has he ever brought you, um… gems and stuff? Like really expensive looking things?”

There’s silence.

“Uh, no?” Cater responds mid a confused laugh. “...why are you asking that? We don’t really talk.”

“I don’t know.” Ellis admits, shaking his head in defeat. “He’s been giving me gems all week and I don’t get it. I thought maybe you knew something since you’ve talked to him...once? That’s more than most people here, anyways.”

Cater hums, a short pause. “Well, I really can’t tell what that means.”

Another sigh, another feeling of defeat. Ellis sinks on the couch.

“Ugh. Do you think he feels bad about the state of the dorm or something? I like gifts as much as everyone else, but…” He sighs. “I just wanna know what’s going on in his head.”

“Y’know, they’re still gems, I don’t get why you’re complaining. And you’re so curious about him too.”

“I just wanna know.” He huffs, face feeling hot. “I feel bad I’m not giving him anything back, is all. Gifts are nice but this is too much.”

“Ehh, you wanna one up Malleus?” He asks, voice incredulous. Do I wanna do that? Ellis finds himself wondering. Is that what this is about?

“I mean, I might as well try, right.” He says. He thinks of it as a joke, but it might not really be one. Looking up to Malleus all the time felt… kind of lame, sometimes, Ellis wanted him to look up to him too. His heart feels heavy thinking about it — But he does.

“Okay, that’s just crazy.” Cater laughs from the other side of the line, mixing with the ruffling sound again.

“Yeah, yeah. Maybe.” He laughs back, but, again, he’s actually thinking about it. He can’t help but think about it. What if he actually impressed Malleus this time? He wonders how he’d look.

They say their goodbyes after more idle chatter and Ellis has his flushed cheeks on his hands, pulling his knees closer to his body. He’s tried doing something impressive before, though it usually just ends up going humorously wrong… but, but, maybe this time it’d work. He stares at the gems on the coffee table. These could be the clue he needed.

A wide-eyed Malleus comes to mind. If things went like that, maybe the messages he’d been wanting to send with all the casual affection would get through. Even if Malleus didn’t like him back — That was a scary thought, but he knew it wouldn’t ruin their friendship, Malleus wasn’t like anyone else — he’d been wanting to tell him in a way where he could actually understand, visualize how deep his feelings had been running. This seemed like the perfect chance.

He dreams of emeralds in a treasure room that night.

. . .

He knew that this, at least, was something Malleus would like — Ellis can’t help but giggle in excitement while he drags him around the woods, clutching at his hand, hearing the crunching of leaves under their shoes and the subtle howling of the wind.

“So, tonight,” He introduces, voice chimy and full of energy. Malleus is standing right behind him in his towering glory. His stare is mostly blank, but Ellis somewhat knows how to decode it, and he can see a glint of curiosity there. They stop in front of an assortment of rocks that made up something looking like a gate. “I was thinking we could go looking for gems in this little cave? I heard from some guys that it has a lot of interesting stuff inside!”

Some guys was a chain of information that started with Rook, who had been doing god knows what in the cave, but what mattered now is that Ellis would go there, and he would find something that would blow Malleus away.

“A cave,” Malleus repeats, blinking. His long hair sways with the wind, lime green glow emitted from his eyes — He did things to his heart, honestly, even just being there — as he looks at Ellis with amusement. “Is that… a common outing for your culture, Child of Man?”

“I mean, not really? But I like collecting things.” He says, a bit sheepish as they begin to walk inside. It’s dark, but that’s an issue easily solved by flicking his flashlight on. “And I thought you might like this.”

Malleus chuckles, and that does more to his heart than him just standing here. “I see,” He says, the amusement visible. Ellis can’t help the excited smile beginning to show up on his face. This was it. “I do think it could be interesting.”

“Yeah!” He chimes. Shining the light forwards, he inspects the path in front of them as they walk further away from the entrance — It was safe, right? A lot of people seemed to have been there, plus it wasn’t exactly hard to move inside, the ground wasn’t as rocky as the walls “I heard they have gems deeper inside? Uh, it might be a little creepy for a bit, though.”

Malleus hums. The glow of his eyes shows up more at every step they take towards the inner parts of the cave, shrouded in darkness. Looks magical, Ellis’ brain unhelpfully reminds him, majestic, beautiful.

(He needed to get that confession out already, and yet…)

“I’m not displeased with this place, though.” Malleus’ voice makes a light echo. “It reminds me of home in a way.”

“Home? Like in the Valley of Thorns?” He asks, wincing when he steps against what seemed to be a tree branch, cracking it into two. How do things like that end up here, anyway?

“It’s a very rocky scenery. Tall mountains and thorn bushes, dark almost all year long.” Malleus explains. “I remember seeing it through my room’s window.”

“You know, that’s kind of cool in a way, I’ve never been somewhere like that.” He comments, thumb resting over the flashlight’s switch. He feels fidgety trying to visualize the Valley of Thorns in his mind, then briefly entertaining the thought of actually being there, with him too… “Is the palace all dark too?”

“Darkness is associated with royalty, so naturally it is.” He speaks. There’s a hint of nostalgia in his voice, almost. It’s strangely warm thinking of a smaller Malleus walking around a big, imposing dark castle, and still making all those sweet childhood memories there. It’s a testament to Malleus himself, maybe. The contrast between the imposing exterior and the softer interior. “It's tall, built in black bricks a long time ago, surrounded by thorn bushes…”

“You should bring me there one day.” Ellis suggests. His voice comes out sweet, it always does — And he hopes Malleus can notice why, he wants him to. But he doesn’t expect it at this point.

(Because if there’s one thing about Malleus’ he’s learned, it’s that genius or not, everything just flew right over his head, and flirting with him was a battle you lost before you even started fighting.)

“Perhaps that wouldn’t be a bad idea at all.” Malleus says mid a chuckle, and his heart flutters. Oh to have a tour around Malleus’ hometown. Maybe there wasn’t much more to see at the place than thorn bushes, but Ellis thought about it insistently anyways. The things that made it unique, and the things about it that Malleus carried over. It’s insistent curiosity and his equally insistent crushing.

He glances forward as he smiles, recalling what he’d been told about the cave. They should be getting to the part with the cool rocks (Cater’s words, not his, maybe not even Cater’s either, since he got that from Ace who got it from someone else… you know how it is) now, Ellis is excited. He’s read up a little bit on gems before doing this. Surely Malleus would be caught off guard by that too, if he was interested in them, then they could choose one to bring home, and it’d be like jewelry shopping, kind of, maybe…

But jewelry stores don’t have swarms of bats in it, and caves do — And in they come, screechy noises and motion blur, and Ellis wasn’t thinking about the presence of bats at all, so he completely flips out, jumping in shock with a yelp and dropping the flashlight.

Dropping himself, actually, tripping on a damned rock and almost falling on top of Malleus as he hears the crack of his light falling, rolling somewhere he couldn’t see.

“Careful, Child of Man—”

Ellis blinks, looking around to try and find that light, but it’s nowhere to be seen — Not that he could see anything, the place was shrouded in darkness now — and his breath quickens with panic, damn it this wasn’t what…

“The flashlight?” Ellis asks, voice frantic. “Damn it, I can’t see it, I…”

Malleus’ eyes are still glowing green.

“I’m guessing you can’t see in the dark?”

“No?” He sputters. What, now he could see in the dark too? Malleus’ abilities are usually interesting to hear about, but now… “Ugh, the flashlight…”

“It’s not anywhere near us.” He informs unhelpfully. “Fallen from a drop. Perhaps I should guide us back.”

He sighs, heavy and tired. Great, there went his plans, everything down the drain again. Usually he could just laugh something like this off, but…

Maybe he had higher hopes for tonight.

“Yeah, I guess.” Ellis mumbles. “Sorry, in the end we couldn’t really do anything cool.”

“We still have time for a stroll near the woods, don’t we?” He can’t see Malleus’ face, exactly, just the outline of his eyes dotting the black dye, but with the way they move he guesses he may have tilted his head. “And I’ve actually enjoyed visiting this cave, short as our outing was.”

“...yeah, b-but I wanted to impress you.” His face feels hot, mostly with shame, the stutter comes with the blurting out of the words. He hates being upset like this, and yet— “You’re always the one doing cool things, disappearing in thin air and leaving fireflies behind, bringing me all that stuff… I wanted to do it too, I guess, especially with you bringing me all those gems for reasons I still don’t know why. I wanted you to… l-like me more, I guess, because I really like you.”

Too many words. He feels his core burn, but they’d been spinning around in his mind for so long now, at some point it was meant to come out. At least, even if Malleus hated that, he wouldn’t…

“Child of Man,” He speaks, voice clear and blank after a pause. There it comes, Ellis thinks dejectedly, though he doesn’t know exactly what bad thing he’s expecting. “Ellis.”

But that’s his name. His agape mouth closes. Was it that bad? One might worry his heartbeat would start echoing into the empty cave.

“...I believe there may have been a misunderstanding here.”

He shakes his head, heart twisting. “N-No, it’s okay, I get that you don’t…”

“Are you not aware of dragon courting traditions?”

Ellis feels his heart both drop the ground and soar at the same time.

“...the gifting of gems. I’d been trying to tell you about… how I feel, I suppose, for a while.” He says, and his voice sounds different. Quieter. Guilty? Ellis can’t put his finger on what it is exactly, but he wonders if Malleus is blushing.

And the image of it in his mind makes him want to look away, even as he can’t.

“There’s been a misunderstanding after all.” Malleus sighs. Yeah, his voice is different. Airy, light, something to it that has Ellis’ face burning. “If you’ve been thinking you could make me like you any more than I already do.”

It feels like an impossible dream to have something like this happen, in this damn cave of all places too, but the smile makes its way into his lips and doesn’t leave, lopsided or not. The laughter starts bubbling up. And on his first snicker, he has Malleus’ confusion too.

“Are you laughing at my confession?” He asks when the snickers turn into a full on laugh, one that has him wiping tears off his eyes with his sleeves.

“G-God, no way, I’m just laughing ‘cause we’re both so stupid…” Ellis shakes his head. Who would have known, huh. “C’mon, let’s get out of here. Then we can go for that walk you wanted. I think it’d be nice.”

“As you wish, then.” He replies, and Ellis feels his hand on his, warmth spreading across him. It’s really a dream— “Would that mean we are… dating, now?”

Oh to see the great Malleus asking him all these dorky questions. “Maybe. Let’s get out of here first.”

The light from the entrance shines back onto them soon.

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst x oc #twst oc #malleus draconia #lis writing #commissions tag

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ask-prime-starscream · 4 years

Text

Okay, so hear me out. How about I change that certain movie a bit? Let’s start right when Unicron-Megatron arrives at the field with the Predacon bones and Starscream gets an orgasm thinking his beloved abuser master is back.

I feel so bad for Starscream. He thinks everything is going to be okay again. Megatron is his protector after all. The only one who bothers to keep him around. What’s getting punched in the face and getting ridiculed from time to time when you aren’t left for dead? At least to Starscream it’s a good deal because he is used to abuse. Sometimes I think about a scene where Unicron not only punches Starscream, but threatens to kill him. If Megatron actually had a slither of fondness for Starscream or at least remembered what a total wild card he can be in the grand scheme of things, he could have tried his mind tricks on Unicron like he did with Predaking before. I don’t know. Just to humanize him a bit. Think more of Starscream than that he suffers entertainingly. Buuut, let’s keep it as canon as we can. Scrap that scene. Let’s focus on things that actually could and should have happened!

When Unicron revives the Predacons, Starscream flees and Shockwave stays back because he is a slow inferior ground vehicle. Well, remember that Starscream pays back his debts? Remember that Shockwave grabbed Starscream at the end of season 3 and probably saved him from imprisonment or death? (I highly doubt the Autobots would have killed Starscream if he had had the chance to “avenge Megatron”, but Starscream just expects the worst from everyone, so...) Since a horde of zombies is scary either way, Starscream flees at first, but then he decides to help Shockwave, the bot that kept him company and was his comrade after Megatron’s demise. Shockwave is about to be overpowered, but a few missiles give him some room to move again. Zombiecons really are not much better than Vehicons, Predacons or not. Megatron revived a whole army and Optimus and Ratchet had little problem slicing and dicing them all back in season 1. Dark energon is really overrated. It’s worthless actually. Megatron is a fool.

Anyway, as a nice quote from G1 which we know TF series can’t get enough of, Shockwave climbs on Starscream’s vehicle mode and together they can escape. We know Starscream is strong enough to carry Shockwave. He had no problem flying Knock Out around. Shockwave probably thinks that Starscream’s dangerous move was illogical, but Starscream just tells him to shut up.

What happens next? They try to free Knock Out and the Vehicons of course. The more the merrier. With Shockwave around, Knock Out thinks twice about who is gonna be the winning team here and doesn’t stab Starscream in the back over some petty thing. A petty thing I would call the emergency brake writers pull when A: Starscream gets a friend. Or B: Two male characters get some really nice chemistry.

I personally have no problem with Knock Out basically being a spineless Starscream who believes in nothing but his looks. What I have a problem with is the way he is treated. He is fucking dangerous and came pretty close to killing some members of team Prime. However, “No Autobot except Cliffjumper dies in this series by Decepticon hand” syndrome prevented that. He doesn’t believe in any of the Autobots’s morals. He doesn’t care if humanity gets wiped out. He has no honor, no loyalty. He contributes absolutely nothing in the fight against Unicron. The Autobots shouldn’t have treated him like a longtime member of team Prime. He shouldn’t have gotten away scot-free at the end of the movie as if he was actually good! It’s so unsatisfying and completely unearned! Breakdown, Starscream, even Dreadwing would have been better candidates for the turncoat. But nah, fuck actual character, Knock Out is cute and funny! He shall be good now! WRONG! Knock Out is a chicken shit opportunist, who will follow the faction in power. He would have submitted to Unicron if Unicron wasn’t about complete annihilation. Something like that shouldn’t be rewarded. If RiD did one thing right, it was showing Knock Out to be uncaring about Autobot stuff and just racing around on earth. So. Phew. Rant over. We will have none of that shit here. Decepticons and Autobots are at a standoff. And Bee won’t pull his dumb “Do you believe me or your own eyes?” shit either. Instead we do something else.

Arcee knows that Starscream follows somewhat of an honor code. He had saved her from Airachnid and spared her life. So she tries to actually bargain with him. While the other Autobots are more like “The heck are you trying here, Arcee?”, she starts talking about whether Starscream really wants to abandon Cybertron and lose it to destruction, this time irreversible. After all, he had put so much effort in reviving it, getting the keys and all. Bee maybe catches on and strokes his ego and Starscream is like “Whoah, what you guys say isn’t even that wrong...!” Shockwave is skeptical, Knock Out just wants to be safe, but everyone comes to the conclusion that together, Autobots and Decepticons, they might have a chance. And so they do their all to fight for their home. And with “do their all” I mean it. They use everything. The Autobots free Soundwave from the shadow zone and if there is one good thing about Soundwave, it’s that he follows Starscream’s orders. Without Megatron, Starscream is the leader of the Decepticons, just like he had been in season 1. Also the prospect of beating Unicron out of Megatron’s body might motivate him too.

So they fly with the Nemesis to Primus’s anus and get battle ready.

In order to give the Zombiecons the smallest attack surface, they position themselves accordingly. Every Iaconic artifact gets used. Immobilizer, phaseshifter, shield... the Nemesis’s cannons... It’s a crazy fight and everybody is contributing. And then Starscream says “I would have never thought I’d die side by side with a grounder” to Knock Out and Knock Out responds with “How about side by side with a friend?” and... Maybe we even get some nice Autobot/Decepticon teamwork. Some really nice, fanservice-y shit. But the battle is hard and even with the Predacons joining them, they are about to be overwhelmed...

Until Prime and Wheeljack show up. Unicron finally enters the battle himself and Optimus and him start an epic fight surrounded by Autobots, Decepticons, Predacons and zombies. It seems like Prime will actually win and the morale is high. Until Unicron throws him to the ground and stabs him, Megatron screaming in his head. That’s not how Megatron had intended for their eon-long fight to end. He is overcome by guilt and regret. After all, his tinkering with Unicron’s blood had caused this outcome. Him, being nothing but a puppet, killing the one he once called his friend.

The Autobots are devastated and unbelieving. The Decepticons are more like “Oh no, I guess...” Then Bee pulls his leader potential out of his aft since it’s time not for gods and Primes to define destiny, but for the average man! He quickly advises everyone to focus on Unicron and keep him occupied, never letting him target just one and overwhelm them, but having an advantage thanks to their quantity. Wheeljack holds Primus’s spark box like a hot potato asking what to do with it now and Bee says, they’ll get it where it belongs. So all of our good flyers are supposed to get the box to the core. Predaking, Skylynx, Darksteel, Soundwave, Starscream eye each other like “Is that a good idea?”, but there is no better plan. One of them holds the box while the others flank him, protecting him from any potential Zombiecons slipping through the now far weaker protection of the remaining bots. Unicron becomes aware of what is happening and follows them. With his super ultra speed he quickly catches up and the flyers have to throw the box from one to the other in order to get it out of Unicrons reach. Once more they show how important camaraderie, teamwork and friendship is... eh... even if all the flyers are Decepticons and Predacons, lol... Like... Like this is a GOOD moral, okay?! Different species working together, even though they were evil or kinda evil... there is worth in life, even if said life wasn’t always pure.

Eventually, one of them opens the box and throws it in a last ditch effort towards the core, reviving Primus. The sparks burst towards the sky and Unicron’s spirit is ripped from Megatron’s body, carried to who knows where... whatever Primus deems right.

Now, everything is good, isn’t it? Well, not for Megatron. He doesn’t have a place on the new Cybertron and chooses the exile. But Starscream is having nothing of that. Cybertron is theirs to take now, isn’t it? The Decepticons agree and Bee and the Autobots are like “Really?!?”, while the Predacons are like “Whatever... don’t try shit with us, though.”

Megatron is absolutely against any more carnage and says the war had been a mistake. Starscream can’t believe what he is hearing. Everything he ever did, was for nothing? All the losses? All the beatings? He tries to convince Megatron and tells him what he had done in his name. Cloned more Predacons, tried to avenge him. He is loyal for fuck’s sake!! He is like Megatron has always wanted him to be! Now that is all wrong and he had suffered uselessly?

Megatron just says, that Starscream had wasted his time. Then he wants to fly off, but Starscream holds him back, grabbing his arm. How can Megatron leave him now?! Megatron pushes him away and hurts his wing so he won’t get any ideas of following him before he transforms and flies away.

Starscream is devastated. He has a breakdown. He reaches for his hurt wing and Knock Out is the first by his side, hearing him cry: “I can’t be alone again!” Knock Out shakes his head, smiling faintly. “But you have us.” Indeed. Even Soundwave was just disillusioned by Megatron’s sudden antics. There is no use following such a coward.

Autobots and Decepticons form a shaky peace agreement for now, everyone having to deal with the losses of their leaders and their almost destruction. The tone is somber, but Cybertron lives again. It is time for a new beginning...

#Starscream #Megatron #Arcee #Knock Out #Shockwave #long post #wall of text

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lotusthekat · 3 years

Text

Be Wherever (Whoever) You Are

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: G

Relationships: Lars & Rose Quartz, Lars & Steven

Characters: Lars Barriga, Rose Quartz (Pink Diamond), Martha Barriga, Dante Barriga, Steven Quartz Universe; other characters are only mentioned

Summary: “Hm… I don’t think that’s a problem,” the pink-haired lady tells him. “You can always change your name whenever you feel like it.”

The boy looks up, meeting her shining black eyes. “I can?”

Rose grins at him. “You’re always growing and changing… and I think your name is the perfect way to show that, even if no one gets it. It’s what makes you happy. Isn’t that so?”

He’s quiet for maybe a minute, thinking about what she said.

“Yeah… you’re right,” he says, finally.

“So,” Rose speaks up again. “what’s your name?”

At the age of four, Laramie is already pretty lost. That changes when he finds a really beautiful garden one day.

Word count: 2.000

AO3

A/N: I remember way back then when people had the idea of Lars meeting Rose before the events of the show, and although this might contradict canon, I’m all for this concept!

I do hope I wrote Rose well, and I’m still getting in the hang of writing child characters, lmao... well, enjoy anyway!

TRIGGER WARNINGS - implied character death and bullying

Laramie doesn’t like school.

If anything, he’s sure most kids don’t… but his reason isn’t the same as theirs. As far as he’s concerned, they’re not left alone like he is during recess. Or even during class.

Laramie is only four – almost five – and he’s got a corner of his own, near the small woods. The teachers say he’s not allowed, but honestly, they don’t seem to care when he goes there.

That’s how it is. They don’t care about him. His classmates never invite him to join them, and when he does try, they avoid him like the plague. Like he’s got some dirt on his face or something. Or maybe his face is the dirt they don’t like.

And well, that’s how he ended up here. In the woods. They’re not scary like his teachers say; they’re really small. Harmless. It doesn’t take that long for him to find another way out in the opposite direction.

What he finds, though… is a place he’s never seen before.

It’s a huge garden with pink flowers blooming. This place looks so… dreamy. Like some kind of paradise. It’s very pretty.

Laramie is careful with the flowers as he walks in. Is this what his teachers have been hiding? Or have they never thought of going in there, judging only by the woods behind him? Because that’d be dumb.

The boy looks down, the flowers staring back. Laramie looks around, wondering if this garden belongs to anyone… but it doesn’t seem like anyone’s here, and there isn’t a house nearby. So, he sits down, and for some reason that feels really good. This does feel like paradise.

This might be his new little corner. It’s so far from everything, from school, his teachers, the other kids… it’s perfect.

Laramie smiles for maybe the first time in a while (“now Laramie, you should smile more!” He remembers his teacher say, much to his internal annoyance). He doesn’t care about anything at all right now.

… well, before he hears someone coming.

“I see you like my garden.”

Laramie shrieks, turning around and finding… the tallest woman he’s seen. She’s got pink hair, huge curls falling on her shoulders. She’s wearing a long white dress with a star shape in her belly.

“S-Sorry! I didn’t know anyone owned it!” Laramie blurts out. She doesn’t seem annoyed, though.

“It’s okay,” she laughs silently, “it’s nice to have some company.”

Her voice is so… soft. You’d think his mother was sweet like candy, well, this woman manages to beat his own mom in that.

The woman sits next to him, though not that close, which he likes. Laramie just isn’t good at talking to people, least of all a woman so nice and pretty… her presence is as relaxing as the flowery ground under him.

Laramie can’t really help staring. He knows it isn’t polite, but there’s something about her… something different.

When she looks at him back, though, Laramie looks away the fastest he can. He can tell she’s smiling, anyway.

“Where are you from?” She asks.

“O-Oh, um. I’m from… here. I-I mean, Beach City.” Laramie wants to punch himself, stupid, stupid. “And you?”

The woman hums. “I’ve come from very far… far away from this place.”

“How did you get here?”

“Oh, that’s a very long story,” she responds, her smile… falling a little. She soon recovers, “What matters, though… is that I’m here now. I’m home.”

Laramie nods and doesn’t ask about it anymore.

“How did you get your flowers to grow?” He wonders instead.

“What if I told you it’s magic?”

Laramie raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

She nods with a smile. “Would you like to see it?”

“Uh, yeah?” He says like it’s obvious, but not in a rude way, he hopes. She seems to like it, anyway.

She picks up what seems like a bunch of leaves and kisses them, sparkles coming out. Right then, Laramie gasps at the pink flower in her hands.

“Woah! How’d you do that?”

“Magic,” she repeats, amused.

“Cooool…”

She gives him the flower and he admires it. It is different from other flowers, though. In the center of the petals, there’s…

“… a gem?”

The woman hums. “It’s unlike what you’ve seen before, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

“Did you know, I’m still inspired by all the other flowers you’ve got in your home. They’re why I’ve created this place.” She smiles both at the flower and the young boy. “You have a very beautiful home.”

Laramie holds it like it’s a treasure, worth so much that not even money can count. When he looks at the woman again, he does notice the… pink stone in her belly, too.

“What’s that?” He points at it. “Is that where your magic comes from?”

“Yes.” She touches her own belly lovingly. He looks at it, too.

“Wait…” he jumps away in alarm. “Is it moving?!”

The woman laughs. “That’s actually my son!”

“Oh.” Laramie blushes. He scoots closer again. “You’re having a kid?”

“Mm-hmm. He’ll come very soon.”

“That’s, uh, neat.”

She looks at her own belly like she loves her child so much, even before he’s really there. “I can’t wait for him to be born. For him to explore and fall in love with this world like I did…” she speaks, “and for him to make friends with someone as sweet as you.”

“W-What?” Laramie stutters. “Y-You really… mean that?”

She nods again. The woman isn’t messing with him. Every word she says is honest and comes from her heart. Besides his parents, she’s… the only person who’s ever enjoyed being around him.

“Hey, uh… what’s your name?” Laramie asks, realizing he hasn’t before.

“You can call me Rose,” she says. “And what is yours?”

His joy disappears in a second, and he looks away, so she doesn’t see his frown.

“What’s wrong?” Rose wonders, concerned.

Laramie doesn’t really like talking about it. Not even with Mom and Dad… but even if he’s just met Rose, she’s been nothing but nice with him. It’s really the least he could do.

“I don’t… really like my name,” he admits. “It doesn’t feel right.” He scoffs at himself, “Ugh, I know, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Oh, no, I understand what you mean,” she reassures him. “It doesn’t fit you, right?”

“Yeah.” He sighs, looking at the flower, its petals moving with the breeze. “I can’t really be myself, so I just hide from everyone… but I want to go out there and be me, y’know? And I’m not gonna do that with a name as lame as mine!” He exclaims.

Rose doesn’t interrupt him at all. She listens all the way through, and she knows he has more to say.

“I wish I could change it… but no one would get it,” the boy complains. “No one really gets me, anyway,” he mutters in his breath.

“Hm… I don’t think that’s a problem,” the pink-haired lady tells him. “You can always change your name whenever you feel like it.”

The boy looks up, meeting her shining black eyes. “I can?”

Rose grins at him. “You’re always growing and changing… and I think your name is the perfect way to show that, even if no one gets it. It’s what makes you happy. Isn’t that so?”

He’s quiet for maybe a minute, thinking about what she said.

“Yeah… you’re right,” he says, finally.

“So,” Rose speaks up again. “what’s your name?”

It’s a simple question, but Laramie gets what she means.

He’s never had the gut to really say the answer… but now, now might be just the time he stopped being a coward and dealt with it.

Laramie opens his mouth.

“… ‘Lars’?”

“Yeah, it’s my name now! You can call me Lars from now on!” The boy claims, his stance firm and tough.

Mom and Dad stare at him like he’s hit his head hard and forgot everything. Then his mother giggles affectionately.

“Oh, Laramie, you’re so creative,” she says. “What a great nickname!”

“It’s not a nickname, mom!” Lars protests. “Like, I know you guys have other names, but you want me to call you Mom and Dad. So, I want you to call me Lars!”

“Right, son. Whatever makes you happy,” his dad tells him. Lars can tell he finds it cute, too, which is the opposite of what the boy really wants.

“Now, go take a shower, sweetie,” Mom says. “You seem like you had a pretty big adventure today.”

“Yes, mom,” the boy answers with a sigh, walking to the stairs.

“And please do your homework when you’re done, Laramie!” Dad says from afar.

“It’s Lars, dad!” Lars yells back, quickly rushing to the bathroom.

Yeah, he should’ve expected that. Of course his parents wouldn’t get it… But Lars is a pretty cool name, though.

The boy takes the pink flower from his pocket and puts it on the sink, smiling at it before he gets in the shower.

He doesn’t know why he’s got into this.

Steven wants to take him and Sadie on a vacation, because sure. Why not?

So, they’re inside Steven’s house, which is pretty big. Inside there’s a pretty stony place, probably because of that giant statue. There’s also a platform guarding a big door in there.

“You’ve got a nice house, Steven,” Sadie compliments.

“Thank you,” Steven grins. “Now come on, the warp pad is this way! Get ready to have your jaws dropped!”

Lars sighs, staying behind while Sadie and Steven go ahead. He does look around. If you take away that warp thing and the statue, it’s a pretty standard beach house. It does seem like Steven doesn’t have a bedroom of his own, though…

Once Lars takes a glimpse behind him, he’s… stunned, to say the least.

It’s a pretty big painting on the wall, just above the front door. It’s a portrait of a beautiful pink-haired woman, whose eyes are closed. Her hair and dress flow like she’s floating in clouds, fully at peace.

Lars doesn’t know why, but something about her is…

…

“Hey, Lars, you coming?”

Steven’s loud voice takes him off guard, and Lars tries his best to disguise the feeling, “Uh, yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Oh, that’s my mom,” Steven tells him, knowing very well he’d been staring at the painting like a creep. “She’s pretty, right?”

“Your mom?” Lars repeats.

He tries to suppress the shame from when he’d insulted Steven’s mother not too long ago. It really seemed like a tough topic to the kid, and while Lars hasn’t verbally apologized, he’s been thoughtful of not disrespecting Steven’s mom again. Lars didn’t know her, after all.

Either way, she does look… divine in that portrait. He remembers Steven saying that she saw beauty in everything, and even in the painting you can probably see that.

It’s… he doesn’t know how to word that. Lars can say, though, that the painting awes him.

“Come on, Lars! We have a vacation to get to!” Steven pulls him out of his thoughts.

The older boy sighs exasperatedly. Lars doesn’t have a choice now, does he?

For once, he follows Steven in that weird “warp pad”, really not sure how the hell they’d get anywhere. But sure, he’ll let Steven do his thing.

Lars does take one last look at the painting, before the three of them are gone in thin air.

After that day, he went back to visit Rose.

But she wasn’t there.

He went there the day after that, and she was still nowhere to be seen. And every other day after that.

He could only wonder where she was. Maybe she travelled? Or moved away from Beach City?

The garden stayed the same, but Lars never saw the woman again. He didn’t even have the chance to really say goodbye to her… or thank her at all.

Regardless, the flowers stayed. In a way, Lars could feel her presence there with him.

The garden became a little home of his own.

#steven universe #lars barriga #rose quartz #steven quartz universe #fanfiction #bullying mention tw #death mention tw

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asthmark · 4 years

Text

❝ let’s dance ❞ s.jh

synopsis → “i’m gonna marry you.”

request → “How about Johnny fluff partying time and the concept theme is the 80s” — @heart-bleeding-autism-angel

word count → 2.5k

a/n → the amount of googling i did for this is scary .. and i still know literally nothing abt the 80’s LOL anyway the title is my fav david bowie song that happened to be released in ‘83 and it kind of fits the the fic so,,, cool :-)

the moonlight shines through your window, casting it’s heavenly glow on your face. despite the late hour, it illuminates your entire room enough that you can read the time off the clock hanging on your wall.

11:55 p.m.

if they decide to be on time, your friends should be arriving in five minutes.

you retreat from your windowsill to prepare yourself. you stop in front of your closet, staring at the array of clothing. it takes you a couple moments to pick something you liked. you, of course, wanted to impress johnny, the self proclaimed fashion evaluator, but there was no better feeling than knowing you looked good.

you settle on a cozy turtleneck and your favorite mini skirt. then you pull on a pair of tube socks and slip on your prized white sneakers. for the final touch, you slide on a thin buckle belt through the loops of your skirt to tie it all together.

you smile satisfactorily at your reflection in the mirror and what was sure to be your best outfit yet. besides being well-put together, it felt comfortable enough to move around in and you knew you would surely be doing much moving that night.

once the clock strikes midnight, you notice light flash into your room. since it’s brighter than that of the moon, you know exactly who must be behind it. even if you didn’t, the hushed chatter and giggling from outside your window gives it away. you peer down into your backyard to find sicheng and jaehyun standing there, flashlights in hand and aimed directly into your bedroom.

you hastily wave your hands at them, your face twisted with worry. they wave back at you with goofy smiles on their faces, oblivious to your concern.

“cut the lights!” you hiss as silently as you can.

they finally seem to get the hint and click them off. jaehyun shouts back, “sorry!” accompanied by a laugh sicheng has failed to contain. you wince at their volume. there was no keeping them quiet so you decide your only option is to move as fast as you possibly can.

you carefully push one leg out of your window. it dangles above the roof of the front porch and you slowly lower it onto the tile. once you’ve successfully planted half of yourself on the roof, you bring your other leg down. this action is followed by a slight creek but you don’t even bother hesitating. you crouch down to the edge of the house and repeat the previous steps, this time landing on the front steps of your porch.

“that was smooth!” jaehyun exclaims in awe.

you bring a finger to your lips but still can’t help but smile at the praise.

“you’re like a ninja,” adds sicheng. “or a cat.” he pauses, deep in thought, before concluding, “you’re a ninja cat.”

you raise a brow. “you’ve both been drinking, haven't you?”

“no.”

“yes.”

“i’m gonna have to believe jae on this one,” you say, observing the way sicheng’s eyelids droop and he slurs his words. “you couldn’t have waited ‘til we got to the club?”

he whines like a child. “i was thirsty!”

you clamp your hand over his mouth and scold him. “why do you feel the need to be so loud? do you want me to get caught?”

jaehyun hiccups. “aren’t you glad i’m an introvert? i’ll never get you in trouble.”

you laugh dryly. “sure, you’re all introverted until you find some random chick to grind on.”

he pouts. “let me have fun.”

“it’s fun until you spill your drink on her and i have to help clean—oh come on, sicheng, did you just lick me?” you remove your hand from his mouth only to find a big smile on his lips.

“perhaps.”

“god, let’s just go. where’s johnny parked?”

“end of the street.”

you go in said direction with your two friends trailing behind you, messing around all the while. the three of you only stop when you catch sight of johnny’s shiny black convertible. you approach the vehicle and when he notices you, he smiles and shoots you a wink.

“you’re such a flirt,” you comment, opening the door to the passenger's seat.

he shrugs. “but you still fell in love with me so i’d say it’s worked out pretty well up until this point.”

you’re about to respond when jaehyun interrupts. “hey, i wanted to ride shotgun!”

“me too!” agrees sicheng. “y/n always gets it!”

johnny glares at the pair through the rear view mirror. “and that’s how i like it so get in the backseat or you’re walking.”

they mumble what you assume are complaints yet still get in the car.

johnny revs up the engine but before you go anywhere he makes an announcement. “and if either of you are going to vomit again, all i ask is that you don’t do it in here. my dad just bought me this bad boy.”

a chuckle escapes your lips.

“what are you laughing about over there?”

you lean back against the headrest, smile still present. “we literally have two kids.”

“basically. but hey, there’s no one else i’d rather babysit two grown men with than you.”

“stop, i’m blushing,” you deadpan.

johnny’s shoulders shake with laughter at your sarcasm. “seriously, though! you really know how to take care of someone. one day, if i’m lucky enough, i’ll be able to see that up close.”

you know exactly what he means by that last statement—he was thinking of a future with you. the last thing you want to do is burst his bubble but you knew how your parents felt about your relationship. they thought you could do better than ‘some football player from your school’. they had friends with young, stuck up sons who, according to them, were more fit for you. despite being told countless times how happy johnny made you, they paid you no mind.

you nod, sincerely. “i hope so.”

he places his hand on your thigh, rubbing reassuring circles into your skin. you stay like that for the entire drive.

once you finally reach your destination, you leave all doubt and anxiety surrounding your relationship with johnny in the car along with any other negativity. the flashing lights and loud music you could hear even from outside the club excites you and you’re left with no choice but to discard all of your worries. you never got tired of seeing the glowing, neon sign letting you know that you had arrived at the hottest hang out spot there was—the neo zone.

as soon as you step inside, sicheng’s face contorts in displeasure. “i’m, uh, going to the bathroom.” he carelessly pushes past strangers, clutching his stomach.

you notice jaehyun has disappeared as well. before you can ask, you spot him on the dance floor, inserting himself in some line dance he obviously isn’t familiar with. his limbs move awkwardly and completely out of sync with the rest of the group. he recieves multiple strange looks and you can’t help but cringe.

“where did we go wrong with them?”

johnny’s laugh can hardly be heard over the booming bass of a song. “couldn’t tell you that, sugar. let’s just hope the next ones come out better.”

there he goes again, talking about your oh-so-promising future. you were still unsure if you would be able to grant johnny the picture perfect life he constantly spoke about. whenever he referenced it, you felt slightly guilty.

instead of acknowledging his comment, you glance around, looking anywhere but him. “want to get a drink?”

he simply nods, placing his hand in the small of your back as you weave your way through the crowd to the bar.

he leans on the counter and orders, “one long island iced tea, please.”

“you know my order?” you ask, pleasantly surprised.

“sweetheart, you get it everytime we come here. and that’s often.”

you still beam at him. “it’s still nice. you know, that you notice those things.”

“everything about you is worth noticing. besides, what kind of boyfriend would i be if i didn’t?”

you press a quick kiss to his cheek to show him how grateful you are.

“you really have to work on your aim because you completely missed your target that time.” he teasingly taps his lips.

you roll your eyes with a giggle. “never satisfied, are you, suh?”

“you owe me, just sayin’.”

“oh yeah?”

“totally! i let you sit shotgun!”

“i was the only thing standing in the way of sicheng throwing up all over your dashboard, you should be thanking me!”

johnny presses a kiss to your lips. it’s so unexpected yet enjoyable that you can’t stop your eyes from fluttering shut in bliss. he only pulls away to take a breath of air.

he licks his lips. “how was that?”

you brush imaginary dust off your skirt. “probably the best ‘thank you’ i’ve ever received.”

“says you. i can't get enough of those lips of yours.”

you fiddle with your belt. “nobody's stopping you from getting your fill.”

“you’re going to be the death of me, young lady.”

seconds later, the bartender slides you your drink. “here’s your drink, young lady.” he gives johnny a knowing smile and not-so-subtle thumbs up. “what a pretty little thing you got there.”

you know his words aren’t meant for your ears so you avert your eyes and take small sips of your drink.

“thank you, sir. i couldn’t agree more.”

“you know, me and my wife met in this club. just like you two.”

“we’ve actually known each other for a couple years.”

the man’s eyes widen in surprise. “well, look at you. already ahead of the game. you love her?”

johnny doesn’t hesitate to nod. “very much. the only issue is her folks don’t seem to be too crazy about me. they have a long list of suitors, myself excluded.”

you frown and trace the rim of your glass. that never got any easier for you to hear.

the man nods, understandingly. “i see. well, in that case, you might have to wait. you said you love her and until you get to be together—which you will—keep loving her. that’ll make the time you spend waiting go by like this.” he snaps his fingers to prove his point.

johnny nods, a genuine smile appearing on his face. “i appreciate the advice. thank you.”

the bartender gives him a curt nod and goes back to tending to the other demanding customers.

before johnny gets a chance to say anything, you ask, “do you wanna dance with me?”

his grin widens. “always.”

you take his hand in yours and lead him to the dance floor. it’s full, as always, multiple bodies pressed up against each other. you waste no time joining in.

your hands end up on his broad shoulders, fingers toying with the hair on the nape of his neck and his grip ends up on your hips. the songs played at club neo zone always had a strong bass and energetic vibe so you both match that rhythm, moving to the intense heartbeat of the music. you gaze up at johnny, admiring his good looks even under the glow of the disco lights that colored him shades of bright pink, blue and green.

“what are you looking at, pretty girl?”

“just your face. i like it.”

he hums. “mm, i’m glad. i do too.”

“like my face?”

“no, mine.”

you shove his shoulder, playfully.

he chuckles. “you know i’m joking. you’re the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen.”

you suddenly find your shoes to be very interesting and stare down at them, smiling sheepishly.

“c’mon, don’t get all shy on me now.”

you giggle. “quit it.”

he glides his hands up and down your sides. “i’m serious, darling. it must’ve taken all my luck to get you.”

“i could say the same thing. there’s no one i’d rather be with than you, john.”

his dimples appear at the compliment and he goes in for a bear-like hug. he cradles your shoulders and rests his chin on top of your head as both you sway.

“i’m gonna marry you.”

you’re not sure what about this statement catches you most off guard. maybe it’s the way that there’s no teasing tone in his voice or perhaps the fact that he has decided to say this in the middle of the dance floor, of all places.

you catch your lower lip in between your teeth. “i’m sorry we have to wait.”

“i’ll wait forever, babygirl, if that’s what it takes. and so what if your parents don’t want that. if one day you’ll let me wake up next to you and have a family with you, i’ll be happy.”

you feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach at his sweet words. “i can't wait.”

with the hope of a future together, you and johnny happily dance the rest of the night away. once the party dies down and the crowd shrinks with every song that passes, your bodies are left sweaty and tired. you agree it’s time to go home.

you spot jaehyun in the back of the club and it takes a lot of effort to drag him off his latest girl interest. he blows her kisses as you yank him away, promising her a phone call in the morning. you’re pretty sure he’s lying.

sicheng is found passed out in the restroom, snoring heavily.

“has he been here this whole time?” you ask with a grunt as you attempt to hoist him up.

johnny shrugs as he helps you lift. “i find it's better to not ask questions.”

you nod in agreement. “fair.”

the car ride is silent mostly thanks to sicheng being knocked out. jaehyun sits quietly as well, staring out the window. johnny decides to drop them off first. you stop in front of the jung residence. as you watch the brunette struggle to open the door with one hand and hold sicheng’s unconscious figure in the other, you can’t help but wonder, “is it really a good idea to leave him with jae? i mean, that’s like telling a toddler to look after an infant.”

“if i left him at his house i’m pretty sure his old man would ground him for the rest of his life. jae’s folks are always out of town.”

with that reassurance, you drive off, your next destination being your house. johnny parks exactly where he did at the beginning of the night, just to be safe.

he rests his hands on the steering wheel. “want me to walk you?”

you shake your head. “that’s alright. if i get caught, i’d rather it not be with you. i’d never hear the end of it.”

“yeah, i get it. one day, though, we won’t have to worry about it.” as if to promise you his words are true, he hands you his letterman jacket. it was his prized possession and he was never seen without it. “here, take this. wear it when i can't be with you.”

you nod, clutching the clothing item close to your chest. “i will.”

he leans over as far as his seatbelt allows him to give you the last kiss of the night. it ends too fast for the both of you. you exit his car and walk down the sidewalk towards your house.

johnny watches you through his rear view mirror and smiles to himself when he catches you pull on his jacket.

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iamtrebleclefstories · 3 years

Text

maybe it’s wrong to say I love you - part three Part Three: This Love

this love is good, this love is bad, this love is alive back from the dead

In honor of Nina’s ( @doc-pickles ) birthday, enjoy Part 3 of this fic that has taken my whole heart. It’s a super long, monstrosity of an update, but I hope it’s everything you never knew you needed. It might be my favorite thing I’ve ever written. Let me know what you think in the comments!

Find parts one and two on my Master List

-This love is good-

-This love is bad-

Since deciding to stay in Seattle two days ago, Alex hadn’t had a chance to apologize to Jo for what he’d said. He hadn’t seen her around the hospital and was beginning to worry that maybe he’d caused her to run. Tired of acting like a wuss, Alex finally made his way over to L&D where he knew she spent most of her time. It wasn’t that far or out of the way for him since the NICU was on the same floor, but he didn’t venture to that side more than a couple times a week.

As Alex was nearing the L&D doors, he heard a couple whimpers coming from a supply closet on his left. He paused and pressed his ear to the door, trying to figure out what was going. Realizing that there was definitely someone inside the room crying, Alex knocked quietly and let himself in.

“Hey, I just heard some crying outside and I wanted to make sure everything was okay,” Alex scanned the room for the source of the cries. He locked eyes with teary-faced Jo. “Jo.”

“What are you doing here?” Jo’s eyes red from crying. “I thought you left for Baltimore.”

“I decided to stay,” Alex stepped closer and crouched down to where she was seated in the corner. Jo looked at him expectantly so he responded. “I couldn’t leave things the way they were. I didn’t mean what I said the other night. I’m sorry. We matter. You matter. Our friendship matters. And I don’t know about you, but I’d really love to have my best friend back.”

“I’m sorry too,” Jo sniffled. “I was just… I’m going through something and everything just kind of came crumbling all at once. Part of it was me being pissed as hell at you, but the other part was me just projecting my own issues.”

“Are you okay? Is it Paul?” Alex sat down next to her on the floor. “Because I swear if he got out early and tries to come find you, I’ll—”

“No it’s not Paul,” Jo let out a watery laugh. “It has nothing to do with him.”

Alex watched as Jo began crying again, her chest heaving slightly as she fought with whatever was plaguing her thoughts. Unable to resist this time, Alex placed his arm around her shoulders and brought Jo into a hug for the first time in over three years. He waited patiently as Jo broke down in his arms, rubbing her back and shoulders comfortingly.

There was something about being in Alex’s embrace after so long that made her finally give into the emotions she was feeling. Maybe it was because despite their rocky history, Jo knew she was completely and utterly safe to be one hundred percent herself around him. She felt secure enough to truly process all of the changes she’d experienced in the last seventy-two hours.

“I’m pregnant,” Jo shared quietly after minutes of silence. She felt Alex’s body tense slightly and hesitate in his movements before nodding, a signal for her to continue. “I found out four days ago. I’m about eight weeks.” Jo paused and let her eyes flit over to Alex’s face. His eyebrows were raised in surprise, but he nodded at her to keep going. “I—uh, I’ve been suspecting it for a couple weeks now. I’m a fetal surgeon. I’m surrounded by pregnant women every day.” Jo huffed a laugh. “But, I think I was so far in denial that I didn’t want to recognize it. Anyway, I took a blood test four days ago and it confirmed my suspicion. That’s why I was a mess when we spoke two days ago. I’d been holding onto this secret all by myself and didn’t know how to handle it, so I just yelled at you, because I knew I couldn’t talk to you about what was going on in my life without breaking down exactly like I did a few minutes ago.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Alex asked, concerned. “Does the father know?”

“You remember that douche-bag ex-boyfriend I mentioned?” Jo laughed ironically. “Well, after the argument you and I had, I called him. I thought you were leaving and never wanted to see me again, so I might as well call Jason and see if I could fix things. We were gonna have a baby.” Jo took a deep breath and wiped a couple straggling tears. “When I told him that I wanted to keep the baby, he wasn’t happy. He said that he wasn’t going to put his career on hold and neither should I over a mistake. So, I suggested getting him in the OB program here. We could work together again and raise the baby together… That's when he yelled at me. He wanted me to have an abortion and I said no. Then he said, ‘yeah go ahead and have the baby. You’ll be having it alone in Seattle. Don’t call me again, or try to contact me for help.’ And he hung up.”

“I’m gonna be a single mom,” Jo bit her lip as she tried to hold back some tears. “And I’m okay with that. I’ve come to terms with that. I’m ready for this. I’m ready to be a mom. Sure, the timing could’ve been better and I never pictured it happening this way, but I want this baby. I want to do this. I’m just… I’m scared. What if I’m not good at it?”

“Jo, you’ve never not been good at something,” Alex looked at Jo for a moment in awe. She really was the strongest person he had ever met. “For what it’s worth, I think you’ll be a great mom.”

“I have my first appointment tomorrow,” Jo sighed. “That’s why I was in here, crying. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I never pictured myself going to my first prenatal appointment alone. I could ask Mer or Bailey, but they both have a lot on their plates right now. They don’t need something else to worry about.”

“Why don’t I go with you?” Alex suggested.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Jo made a face and pulled away slightly from his embrace in order to get a good look at him.

“I can go with you,” Alex repeated. “Just tell me what time and exam room you’ll be in and I’ll be there.”

“I don’t know, Alex,” Jo shook her head. “Just because I cried in front of you doesn’t mean you have to feel like you have to go. I can handle it by myself. I’m good at being alone. I’ve gotten used to it.”

“But that’s the thing. You don’t have to be alone. Not anymore,” Alex took her hand in his own. “You’ve got people now. So many people who give so many craps about whether or not you’re okay. You’ve got me and I mean it this time. I know I haven’t given you much reason to trust me, but I want to be your friend again.”

“Alex…”

“Listen, you told me once that you pictured doing this with me, so let me go with you. Not as your boyfriend or whatever, but as your friend. You shouldn’t be alone. You were there for me when I got shot. I didn’t know that back then, but I know that now. I want to be there for you,” Alex’s mouth curved into a crooked grin. “Besides, if I don’t go with you the nurse is gonna give you that stupid pitying look and ask if ‘you wanna discuss your options.’ I’m doing you a favor.”

“You know, I really hate that you know me so well that you knew exactly what to say,” Jo let out a short laugh, “Fine. You can come. My appointment is tomorrow morning at 8am. Meet me here. Don’t be late.”

—————

-This love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh-

8 Weeks

“You came,” Jo stared at Alex in slight disbelief as he walked up to her outside the OB/GYN wing.

“Of course I came. I told you I’d be here,” Alex gave her a shy smile. “You okay?”

“Nervous,” Jo shoved her hand into her pockets. “Just because I want this doesn’t make it any less nerve wracking or scary. I’m just glad I’m not alone.”

“I’m glad you told me and I get to be here with you,” Alex grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly. “Did you already sign-in?”

“No not yet,” Jo shook her head. “I haven’t walked in yet. I was waiting.”

“Well, I’m here so, let go,” Alex held the door open and walked closely behind Jo as she went up to the front desk to check in for her appointment. Once she was done, he placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her over to a set of chairs in the corner.

After a few minutes, a nurse stepped out and called her name, “Josephine Wilson.”

Jo stood up and looked back at Alex expectantly. He stood up and gripped her hand in his own, walking back towards the exam room with her. The nurse gave her the same instructions that Jo herself had listed off to patients countless times.

“Alright, just remove your pants and get settled onto the exam table, legs in the stirrups. If you want, I’ve left a gown on the table for you to change into. Dr. Hopewell will be in shortly.”

Jo nodded and began removing her scrubs, handing them to Alex who folded them and placed them on the chair next to him. She donned the gown and slipped her panties off swiftly, tucking them in between her pants. She took a shaky breath as Alex helped her up onto the table, “Thank you. For coming. It means a lot. It’s nice to not be alone.”

“There’s no place I’d rather be,” Alex pressed a kiss on the hand that was being held firmly in his own. “You are and always have been my best friend. You were there for me in my darkest moments and you celebrated with me during some of my happiest ones. There’s no way I’d want to be anywhere else rather than here with you, right now. And if you let me, I plan on being here for you for the long run.”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. A young woman in her thirties walked in, a surprised look on her face, “Dr. Wilson. And Dr. Karev. It’s a surprise seeing you here.”

“Dr. Hopewell,” Jo smiled shyly. “Call me Jo. We work together and you’re about to see all my lady-bits so might as well drop the formalities.”

Dr. Hopewell chuckled, “Well, Jo, call me Amanda.” She got into position and fired up the ultrasound machine as Jo placed her legs up in the stirrups. “I have to say, I didn’t expect to see you on this side of the table.”

“Neither did I,” Jo mumbled. “But life happens and you roll with the punches.”

“So I take it this was not a planned pregnancy,” Amanda asked.

“Definitely not,” Jo huffed a short laugh. “But it is wanted.”

“Okay,” Amanda smiled and looked over at Alex. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I—uh, I’m not the dad,” Alex stuttered. “I’m just here to support Jo.”

“Alex is my best friend,” Jo looked up at Alex to see his face of surprise at her admitting that she still saw him that way after so many years. “He didn’t want me to be alone for my first appointment.”

“That’s really kind of you Karev. If only there were more friends like you,” Amanda gave him a small smile before turning her attention back to Jo. “I don’t mean to pry, but I just want to have all the facts straight so that way I can best support you during this pregnancy. Is the father out of the picture?”

“Yes,” Jo answered, biting her lip. “It’s just me.”

“Alright,” Amanda nodded. “You know that means that I will be available to you should you ever need my help. You also need to surround yourself with a great support system. You need people that will help you when you need help, even when you’re too stubborn to ask for it. Single moms are notorious for believing that they are not allowed to ask for help. Don’t fall into that trap. Find your people, your tribe. Although, I see you are off to a very good start considering that Dr. Karev is here with you today.”

“She’s got people,” Alex gave Jo a crooked smile and turned back to Dr. Hopewell. “So, are we gonna see this baby or what?”

“Yes! Alright, Jo, we’re doing a vaginal ultrasound today. I’m going to stick the transducer inside you now. It’s going to be cold and you might feel some pressure or discomfort, but never pain. If it hurts let me know and I’ll stop,” Amanda smiled encouragingly. “Okay, I’m starting now.”

Jo winced slightly at the intrusion of the transducer and tried her best to stay relaxed. She felt Alex run his free hand through her hair, providing a welcome distraction as Hopewell looked on the screen for the fetus. Amanda moved and adjusted her position a few times before an image finally came up on screen, “Aha, there it is. There’s your baby.”

Jo watched in wonder as she saw the tiny blob on the screen. She felt Alex squeeze her hand again as he laughed, “Hey, would you look at that. There’s a baby in there. A tiny Baby Wilson.”

“Woah,” Jo let out and smiled. She looked over to Amanda who’d been taking some measurements. “Can we hear the heartbeat?”

“Of course,” Amanda reached over on the machine and punched some buttons before a steady, quick sound exited the speakers.

“Oh,” Jo gasped and lifted a hand to cover her mouth as she listened to her baby’s heartbeat flutter through the speakers. Tears collected in her eyes at the sound. “Hey, baby.”

“Jo, you’re gonna be a mom,” Alex grinned down at her and wiped a couple tears that had trickled down her face. He felt his own eyes grow watery at the sight and sound of the little life currently developing in Jo’s womb.

Fifteen minutes later, Jo and Alex were walking out of the exam room, each with an ultrasound photo in their hands. Alex beamed as he looked down proudly at the picture he was holding, “I’m gonna put this on my fridge.”

“You are way too excited about this,” Jo rolled her eyes.

“Of course I’m excited,” Alex wrapped his arm around Jo’s shoulder. “I’m going to be an uncle!”

“An uncle?” Jo raised her eyebrows. “Who said that you’re going to be an uncle?”

“I did,” Alex replied simply. “I better be an uncle. Actually, I better be the godfather.”

Jo’s eyes shined in amusement, “We’ll see.”

“We’ll see?” Alex made a face. “Oh, hell no. You want to continue having an appointment buddy, I want to at least be Uncle Alex.”

“Fine. You can be Uncle Alex,” Jo laughed.

“Thank you.”

—————

-These hands had to let it go free, and-

-This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh-

11 Weeks

“You okay?” Alex lingered in the doorway of the bathroom of the frat house as he heard Jo puking into the toilet.

“No,” Jo groaned and lifted her head to see Alex’s look of concern. “I’m sorry. I know I came over to help you furnish this place since obviously neither you or Cristina are capable of doing it on your own and now I’m here monopolizing your bathroom.”

“Jo, it’s fine. You don’t have to apologize for having morning sickness,” Alex walked into the bathroom and crouched down by Jo, pulling her hair back. “I thought you’d gotten past the morning sickness already, though.”

“So did I,” Jo retched.

“Ew, morning sickness Jo?” Cristina entered the bathroom.

“Uh huh,” Jo nodded weakly, leaning her head against Alex’s chest. “I think I’m okay. You guys can go. I’m just going to rinse my mouth out.”

“Okay,” Alex motioned for Cristina to follow him out of the bathroom.

Cristina and Alex wandered into the kitchen and waited for Jo to come out of the bathroom. Cristina stared at the eight week ultrasound photo on the fridge that had given away the news of Jo’s pregnancy when she saw it hanging after showing up unannounced. She eyed Alex suspiciously, “You’re really invested in this.”

“Of course I am. She’s my best friend,” Alex scrunched his face in confusion.

“Are you sure the kid isn’t yours?” Cristina raised an eyebrow.

“Already told you it isn’t,” Alex shot Cristina an unimpressed look. “She’s eleven weeks pregnant. She’s been back for seven. I think you know how to add. Besides, it’s not like that between us. We’re just friends.”

“Just friends my ass,” Cristina scoffed. “I’ve been back for two days and I can tell you are still as in love with her as you were the first time.”

"Okay, yeah i love her. So, what?" Alex shrugged. "I think I always will, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna do anything about it. She's pregnant and she's moved on and she doesn't need me complicating her life with feelings. Maybe one day it will be different, but right now, this is the way things are. So, I'm just gonna be a good friend to her and I'm gonna be there for whatever she and this baby need."

"Who are you and what have you done with Evil Spawn?" Cristina mused.

"Shut up," Alex rolled his eyes.

Cristina was about to open her mouth to speak again when Jo walked out of the bathroom. Cristina shut her mouth quickly, gaining a strange look from Jo. Jo narrowed her eyes at her two friends, "What?"

"Nothing." Cristina and Alex answered in tandem.

"Well, I'm going to Mer's house. I probably won't come back tonight, so try not to burn the house down while I'm gone," Cristina nodded at the pair and made her way out the house.

“Don’t tell Mer!” Jo yelled after her.

“I won’t,” Cristina yelled back.

"She should've just moved in with Mer and Derek," Jo commented as she watched Cristina walk out the door. “Doesn’t she have a room over there?”

“Yup,” Alex chuckled. “I don’t pretend to understand them.”

Jo forced a smile as she felt some dizziness. She closed her eyes for a second, hoping that Alex wouldn’t notice the shift in her demeanor. Of course, she should’ve known that Alex was overly attentive of her every change in mood.

“What’s going on?” Alex asked as he led Jo to take a seat on the staircase since there wasn’t any furniture in the house yet.

Jo took a couple deep breaths, “Somethings wrong. Alex, something is really wrong.”

“Are you in pain? Are you bleeding?” Alex searched frantically for any sight of blood or tenderness in her abdomen.

“I need to go to the hospital. I need an ultrasound. I need to see my baby,” Jo’s breaths grew shallower.

“Okay, Jo. Calm down. Think rationally. You’re a fetal surgeon. You know what things to look for in case something is wrong. You’re probably just dehydrated,” Alex tried to soothe her.

“That’s my point, Alex. I am a fetal surgeon. I know exactly what can go wrong. I have every worst case scenario running through my head right now and that scares the crap out of me because I didn’t know you could love someone so much. If something goes wrong, I can’t help this baby. I can’t operate on myself,” Jo placed a hand on her still flat stomach and wiped a couple straying tears with the other. “So please, don’t look at me like I’m crazy when I ask you to take me to the hospital. Something doesn’t feel right. Please, I just want an ultrasound. I need to make sure my baby is okay.”

Alex saw her distress and conceded, "Okay. We'll go right now."

By the time they’d arrived at the hospital, Jo had begun bleeding. She was shaking with fear as Alex helped her out of the car and carried her into the ER. He bypassed the front desk and placed her on an empty bed, ignoring the confused stares from the likes of Owen and Bailey.

Alex flagged down an intern and barked orders, fear evident in his voice, “You! Drop whatever you’re doing. Get me a portable ultrasound right now!”

The terrified intern scurried over to do as Alex had instructed. Alex leaned down to press a light kiss on Jo’s forehead as she clutched his hand tightly, “Hey. You’re okay. Whatever happens, you’ll be okay. Do you want me to page Hopewell or Herman?”

“No, we don’t call the big guns until there’s something to worry about,” Jo shook her head. “You do it. I trust you.”

“What’s going on here?” Owen asked as he walked up to Jo’s bed.

“Is everything alright, Wilson?” Bailey rushed over to Jo’s bedside.

“I think I might be having a miscarriage,” Jo trembled.

Bailey’s eyes opened wide, “Oh sweetheart.”

“Where the hell is that damn ultrasound?” Alex growled in annoyance.

“Right here!” The intern Alex had tasked with retrieving the ultrasound machine finally came back with the device in hand. “Do you want me to—”

“Just give it to me,” Alex grabbed the machine and got it ready. He had Jo pull up her shirt and he squirted the gel on her abdomen, placing the probe on her stomach. The doctors let out a collective sigh of relief when they heard the heartbeat flutter through the speakers. “It’s okay, Jo. You see? The baby is okay. He or she is in there having a party.”

“Oh thank God,” Jo let out a quiet sob, feeling Bailey smooth her hair down in a comforting manner. She placed her hand on the screen. “Hi baby. You scared the crap out of me. Don’t do that ever again, please. I already love you so much.”

Alex felt all his worries dissipate as he spoke to Jo’s stomach, “God, you really enjoy freaking us out, don’t you?”

“You’re having a baby? My baby is having a baby?” Bailey asked, a smile on her face.

“Yeah,” Jo nodded and wiped a few tears away. “I’m having a baby.”

“Congratulations,” Owen smiled sincerely. He turned to look between Alex and Jo. “So are you two back together or..?”

“Oh, no. I’m not the dad,” Alex laughed awkwardly. “I’m just here as a friend. She was at my house to help me pick out furniture when she asked me to take her to the hospital.”

“Hmm,” Bailey raised an eyebrow, partly unconvinced, partly sure that those two would be together again eventually. “Well, I’m going to call OB down to give you a full work-up. They’ll take blood work and everything.”

“Yes, I’ll make sure that we figure out what’s going on. The baby looks fine though, so I’m not sure why you’re bleeding,” Owen spoke to Jo. “I’m also going to set you up in a room overnight. I know that’s not common but I also know that if I release you, you’re going to want to come in tomorrow morning to work and that’s not going to happen. So, you’re staying here.”

“Fine,” Jo huffed. “But only because I know I need to take it easy if I want to keep cooking this baby for six more months.”

“I’ll stay with you,” Alex said as he wiped the gel off of her stomach and put the machine away.

“Alex, you don’t have to. I’ll be okay on my own,” Jo placed a hand on his arm.

“I know you will. But you don’t have to be. I want to stay with you,” Alex insisted, covering her hand with his own. “Let me stay with you.”

“Okay,” Jo‘s lips twitched slightly.

Bailey and Owen watched from the side as Alex fretted over Jo and yelled at interns to do their jobs right. The two exchanged a look and Owen spoke, “For someone who isn’t the father, he sure is acting like it.”

“He’s in love with her,” Bailey shrugged. “He’s been in love with her practically since day one. He hasn’t said it, but he could care less if that baby was his or not. She’s his person. He’s still going to love her. He’s still going to be there for her and protect her. That’s who he is.”

——————

-Lantern, burning-

-Flickered in the night, only you-

13 Weeks

“Guess what!” Jo grinned as she walked into the attendings’ lounge.

“What?” Cristina asked as she looked up from the medical journal she’d been reading.

“Look!” Jo lifted up her shirt to reveal the tiniest beginnings of the curve of her stomach. “I’m starting to get a bump!”

“Hey baby Wilson,” Alex beamed and walked up to place a hand on Jo’s abdomen. “It’s good to see you.”

“You’re such a dork,” Jo rolled her eyes. “Anyway, that’s not the only reason I came in here this morning. I also have the results back from the prenatal screening. Baby seems to be completely healthy.”

“That’s great,” April said from her spot by the coffee machine.

After Jo’s scare that had her in the hospital a two weeks ago, everyone found out about her pregnancy rather quickly. After all, gossip made its way around the hospital like wildfire. It wasn’t a surprise when Jo woke up the morning after the ordeal to find Meredith glaring at her from the doorway of her hospital room. Once the initial shock and round of questions wore off, everyone had gotten excited and supportive rather quickly.

“Okay, so what’s the verdict?” Meredith asked. “Am I getting fifty dollars from Avery or not?”

“I’m the one getting the fifty dollars. It’s definitely a girl,” Jackson crossed his arms over his chest in confidence.

“Nope,” Meredith shook her head. “It’s definitely a boy. Jo is such a boy mom. She gives off boy mom energy.”

“Okay everyone say your last minute predictions before I open up the envelope,” Jo chuckled.

“I say boy,” Callie took a sip of her coffee.

“Girl,” Bailey narrowed her eyes. “Yes. A girl.”

“It’s gonna be a girl,” Cristina flipped through the pages of her medical journal. “Alex is the godfather. There’s no way this kid isn’t going to end up being Evil Spawn’s worst nightmare. It has to be a girl.”

“I second that,” Derek laughed.

“No, I think it’s a boy,” Richard placed a hand on his chin.

“A boy,” April pitched. “No, a girl. No… yes… a girl. Final answer.”

“I say a boy,” Arizona smiled.

“I’m gonna go with a boy as well,” Owen nodded with Arizona.

“What about you Evil Spawn?” Cristina asked. “What do you think the baby is gonna be?”

“I don’t really care to be honest,” Alex shrugged. “As long as my godchild is happy and healthy, I could care less… but I kind of hope it’s a girl.”

“Alright, stop messing around and open the envelope,” Meredith urged.

“Okay,” Jo took a deep breath and tore the envelope open, carefully removing the paper from inside. She unfolded it and gasped. “It’s a girl!”

“Pay up Grey!” Jackson held his hand out as Meredith grumbled and retrieved fifty bucks from her purse.

“It’s a girl!” Alex grinned brightly and wrapped Jo in a tight hug. “You’re having a Baby Girl Wilson.”

“You should name her Cristina,” Yang shouted across the room. “Cristina Wilson has a nice ring to it.”

“No way,” Jackson shook his head. “Her name is gonna be Avery Wilson. I’m the one who said she was gonna be a girl first.”

“You could always go with Robbin,” Arizona smiled. “It’s a sweet nature-y name.”

“If she names the baby after anyone, it’s going to be me,” Meredith rolled her eyes. “I’m the one who kept in contact with her and helped her all those years. Besides, she has so many options if she names the baby after me. There’s Meredith, Mary, Merella, Greyson, Greysie, Mere, and I could come up with a lot of really obscure ones if given the time.”

“Love the suggestions, but not happening,” Jo laughed at her friends. "I'm not going to name her after one of you and have the rest of you hate me for it later."

“Exactly. Jo’s not going to choose between one of you guys to name her child after,” Alex smirked. “Not when we all know that the baby is going to be named Alexandra after me, her Uncle Alex.”

“Shut up,” Jo shoved him playfully. “You’re lucky I’m even letting her call you Uncle Alex. I could revoke that privilege.”

“No you can’t. Because if you did, then I wouldn’t show you the stash of chocolate pudding you’ve been craving in the lounge fridge that no one else is allowed to touch.”

“You got me the pudding I’ve been craving?” Jo gasped.

“Sure did,” Alex opened the fridge to show her the stocked shelves full of multiple boxes of chocolate pudding. “There’s a sticky note with your name on the boxes so that no one takes them. Make sure you ration it wisely.”

Jo stared at the open fridge in joy. She threw her arms around Alex’s neck and hugged him tightly, “You are the best!”

“God, he’s whipped,” Cristina commented to the rest of the doctors quietly observing the pair. “He’s so whipped he doesn’t even realize it.”

“I mean, are you really that surprised?” Meredith shrugged one shoulder. “It’s Jo we’re talking about.”

“I always liked those two together,” Richard leaned against the wall. “I never understood why he married Stevens. Not that she wasn’t a great girl—because she was—but Karev and Wilson were always different.”

“Sometimes it takes you awhile to find your way back home,” Derek wrapped his arm around Meredith. “They’ll figure out eventually.”

“A hundred bucks says they’ll cave and get together after the baby is born,” Jackson placed a bet.

“One-fifty says they get together before the baby is born,” Callie pitched in.

“Two-hundred says they get together before she hits the thirty-week mark,” Arizona grinned.

“Oh please,” Cristina rolled her eyes. “It’s Karev and Wilson. Knowing them, they’re gonna end up having crazy monkey sex for a couple months until someone cracks and word-vomits all their feelings.”

“Two-fifty says they’re going to do it first and have feelings later,” Meredith stuck her hand out in a challenge.

“You’re on,” Jackson shook Meredith’s hand.

Oblivious to the conversation going on around them, Jo and Alex continued lost in their own little world as Jo opened one of the pudding packs. Jo let out a moan, “Hell yes. This is exactly what I’ve been craving.”

“Glad you and the baby are enjoying it,” Alex smiled at her proudly.

“Ooh! I almost forgot to ask, are you going to come with me to look at more houses today after work?”

“Yeah, I’ll go with you,” Alex reached over to take a spoonful of her pudding, gaining a glare from Jo. “I don’t know why you’re so focused on trying to buy a house. Your apartment is really nice. It’s twenty minutes away from the hospital and five minutes away from me.”

“It’s a fifth floor studio apartment that has no elevator,” Jo scoffed. “I don’t exactly love the idea of having to carry my baby as well as groceries up five flights of stairs.”

“Good point,” Alex nodded. “Well, I’ve got surgery in twenty minutes, but I will see you later.”

“Sounds good,” Jo stuffed her face with another serving of chocolate pudding.

By the time the end of their shifts rolled around, Jo was utterly exhausted. Being in her second trimester, Jo was hoping that she’d gain some of her energy back soon. She’d seen plenty of moms that bounced back from various states of exhaustion once they made it past the twelve to fourteen week mark.

Jo was slumped against one of the benches outside the hospital when she heard Alex’s voice behind her, “Someone looks like they need a nap.”

“What I need is a foot rub. I just got out of a TTTS procedure and I don’t know why but my feet are burning,” Jo cast a sideways glance to Alex. “I just got off the phone with my real estate agent and guess what?

“What?” Alex asked as he sat down beside her.

“The house that I was considering has been sold.”

“Crap. Really?” Alex frowned. “What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know,” Jo shrugged. “All of the other houses in my budget are an hour and a half away from the hospital so that’s not going to work. I guess I’m just going to have to stay in my studio apartment.”

“Why don’t you just officially move into the house with me and Cristina? You’re there all the time anyway,” Alex suggested.

Jo looked at Alex strangely, “You do know I’m having a baby right?”

“I’m not stupid,” Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m serious. Don’t worry. I’ll help you with the crib.”

He obviously was not understanding what Jo was trying to say. Jo stared at him dumbfoundedly, “That's not what—Are you sure? I don’t think Cristina is gonna like having to live across the hall from a screaming baby in a few months. I don’t think you’re going to want to sleep across the hall from a screaming baby either.”

“Jo, I’m serious,” a genuine expression on Alex’s face. “Move in with us. Cristina is barely home, she’s not gonna care. If anything, she’ll be happy because now her rent is gonna go down.”

“I don’t know… it feels weird,” Jo wrinkled her brow in thought.

“Why would it be weird?” Alex asked honestly. “Jo, it’s a frat house. Mer always left that house open for whoever needed it and as long as I own it, I’m gonna do the same. It’s your home, and you’ll always have a place there if you need it.”

“You’re absolutely positive about this?”

“Yes, Jo. I’m positive,” Alex held her hand gently. “Move into the house. I want you there.”

Jo looked down at their interlocked hands shyly and sighed, “Okay.”

——————

- Your kiss, my cheek -

- I watched you leave-

16 Weeks

“Ugh,” Jo groaned in frustration as she threw another failed attempt at knitting a pair of baby booties at the wall of her bedroom, feeling hot tears running down her face.

“You okay?” Alex popped his head into the room only to see Jo laying there on the bed with tear-stained cheeks.

“No!” Jo cried. “I can’t get this stupid thing right. I am a maternal fetal surgeon who can perform complicated procedures on tiny babies in the womb but I can’t even knit a damn pair of booties for my baby.” Jo covered her face with her hands and let out a muffled shout. “I’m sorry. It’s the hormones… so many damn hormones.”

Alex cautiously took a seat on the bed. He placed a hand on her knee causing her to flinch, “Okay… but you’re not in pain or anything right?”

“No,” Jo shook her head, face still covered.

“Then what is it really? Because you can blame it all on the fact that you can’t knit to save your life, but that’s not really gonna help anyone,” Alex’s face twitched up into a grin. “Are you upset about something else? Are you craving something? Because I can run down to the store and get it for you.”

“I’m horny!” Jo shot up into a sitting position, more tears leaking from her eyes. “I’m really freaking horny but I can’t have sex because no one is gonna sleep with a pregnant lady and I just want to have sex Alex, but my baby’s father is a son of a bitch and he’s living across the country and wants nothing to do with us.”

Alex gingerly placed a hand on her back, patting it lightly as she let another frustrated cry into his shirt. With wide eyes and an unsure expression on his face, he decided to make a suggestion, “We can get you a vibrator?”

Jo whipped her head around to look at Alex who shrugged like a dumbass. She let out a huff and flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. He really was an idiot , Jo thought. She attempted to keep her focus on her breathing and the marks on the ceiling when she felt Alex’s hand make its way to her slightly curved belly. He rubbed small circles on it for some moments when she spoke up again.

“Alex.”

“Hmm?”

“I need you to leave.”

“What? Why?” Alex paused his movements to look at her strangely.

Jo groaned, “I need you to leave because I’m very horny and you’re still… very, very sexy and you just—you have to go before I jump your bones.”

Alex raised his eyebrows in amusement, looking as though he wanted to laugh. He really was trying his hardest to be a good friend, but he couldn’t help how funny he found the situation. Thinking of possible ways to help Jo out, Alex slowly moved his hand up from her small bump to her sensitive breasts, pinching her nipples slightly. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “You sure you want me to leave?”

“I changed my mind. Please stay.”

Alex smirked smugly and placed a pillow behind Jo’s back, making sure she was in a comfortable position.

His hand reached underneath her oversized tshirt and brushed against her heat, eliciting a quiet gasp. His fingers found the waistband of her underwear, and he tugged them down as she lifted her ass, letting him pull them over her butt and down past her thighs. Then, lifting one leg at a time and tossing it somewhere on the floor behind him.

He took a moment to collect himself and stare down at her—because God, it had been years since he’d seen her this way and he wanted to savor this moment—before pushing her legs further apart, giving him much better access.

Alex could tell just by looking at Jo that she was already wet. She squirmed impatiently, giving him the perfect view of her glistening skin. Alex held back a groan. Everything within him was crying out to relive those old stolen moments in on-call rooms, the back of his car, and the occasional (but very few) times they were in this very house alone.

He decided to start with his finger, placing it against her and rubbing it up and down and side to side, feeling the dampness beneath his fingers and taking in the feel of her soft, warm folds. He made sure to stroke every inch of her, over and over, concentrating on making sure it was pleasing to her. He could tell by the slight hitches in her breathing that it was.

Jo had almost forgotten what it was like to be touched by Alex. She’d almost forgotten the feel of his thick fingers inside of her. She’d almost forgotten the way he could reduce her to a puddle of incoherent mumbles with just his hands. She was reminded of the stark power and dexterity of his hands as his finger explored her most intimate region.

Alex added a second finger and began to rub her faster and harder, this time going up to her clit and drawing his finger over it. At his touch, Jo made a kind of muffled sound. He went back to rubbing her, alternating his strokes between hard and soft, between slow and quick, repeating the process over and over, never staying with a rhythm for long enough that she would get used to it, listening carefully as her breathing became more shallow and her body quickly grew wetter until he was having trouble staying on her because of the slick.

Finally, he decided, it was time. Alex stroked his fingers downward, but instead of going back up as he had been doing, he slipped a finger inside her, pushing through the wet heat and taking in how amazing she felt around him. God, he had missed this. She was always so tight and hot, and he wanted to stay inside her forever.

His dick ached in his pants at the sound of her soft moans, but this was not about him or what he wanted. This was about Jo. Alex concentrated just on her, moving his finger in and out, pushing in as deeply as he could, slowly at first and then speeding up as he went on.

Jo groaned as he fucked her. “Yes,” she gasped, and closed her eyes. Her hands were fisting the comforter on either side of her. “Yes, Alex. Don’t stop.”

She didn’t need to tell him; he wouldn’t have stopped if his life depended on it. Not with the noises she was making.

He added a second finger, plunging both of them in and out of her, as deep as he could get them. She moaned again, her hips starting to grind against his hand, head tilted back in pleasure.

A feeling of pride spread through his whole body. Watching her starting to come undone and knowing he was the reason, was something else he didn’t think he could explain if anyone asked.

Alex thrust into her harder, curling his fingers up to reach the parts of her body that made her burn with desire. With his other hand, he let go of her leg and reached over and placed his palm firmly on her pelvis, positioning his hand in such a way that he could stroke her clit with this thumb.

Jo moaned, a strangled sort of sound, her hips jerking harder, and Alex did it again — stroking over her clit and curling his fingers deep inside her at the same time. He marveled at the obscene sounds from her mouth and her pussy. They were everything, but he wanted more.

Finally, he added a third finger inside of her and pressed down harder on her clit, and there it was. Jo moaned, and then she cried out, her back arching as her muscles clamped around Alex’s fingers inside her, “Oh my God… Alex...Alex! Ah!”

Alex continued thrusting his fingers in and out of Jo as she rode her climax. He watched as her body shuddered and as she was reduced to a series of whimpers. When Jo finally came back down from her high, Alex removed his fingers. He waited as her chest heaved up and down in an attempt to restore her breathing to normal.

Jo looked up and locked eyes with Alex. He stared at her intensely as he reached his hand back down to collect the wetness between her thighs. Jo let out a few soft whimpers at his touch. Jo felt her heart rate pick up as she watched him bring his hand out from between her legs and toy with the slick juices coating his fingers.

A mischievous smirk made its way onto Alex’s face. Alex brought his hand to his lips. He groaned as he sucked every drop of Jo’s release off his fingers slowly, trying to savor the taste of her. It took everything within him not to lean forward, bury his face between her thighs, and fuck her with his tongue so that he could taste her from the source.

Instead, Alex bent down and pressed a light kiss on her mound—causing her hips to buck up—before standing up. He looked at Jo with a shit-eating grin, “Feel better?”

Jo was struggling to come up with words as her body still trembled with the remnants of her climax. She nodded lamely and breathed out shakily, “Yeah.”

“Great,” Alex’s grin increased as he walked towards the door. “Well, glad I could be of service. I’d stick around but I’ve got a surgery scheduled for 7am tomorrow. Goodnight.”

Jo’s jaw dropped in shock at Alex’s casual exit. She took a moment to process what had just occurred and found herself growing aroused at the thought of it. She’d forgotten just how well Alex knew her body. She’d forgotten how good it could feel with him. She’d forgotten what it was like to crave him so badly that she felt she might combust. She didn’t know what this meant, but the one thing Jo knew for sure though, was that she was completely and utterly screwed.

——————

-When you're young, you just run-

-But you come back to what you need-

17 Weeks

It had been a week since Alex had… assisted Jo. And ever since that day, Alex or more specifically, Alex’s fingers were just about the only thing Jo could think about. Her body thrummed with desire and frustration whenever the thought popped into her mind—which was often.

She’d blame it on the pregnancy hormones; making her crave sex, not sex with Alex. But after days of trying to satisfy her own needs and being unable to excite herself at the thought of another man, Jo realized that it wasn’t sex she wanted. What she wanted was sex with Alex. Lots of hot, dirty, delicious sex.

She wished the ground would swallow her whole to be completely honest. Not because she was embarrassed. No, Jo had never once felt embarrassed about desiring Alex. There was no need to be embarrassed, especially when she knew the desire was reciprocated. The reason she wished the ground would swallow her whole was because the little piece of shit—Alex—knew full well exactly the effect he had on her and he was doing absolutely nothing about it.

Well, absolutely nothing wasn’t entirely true. Alex had noticed Jo’s desire practically seeping out of her pores and had started taking every opportunity he could to be a damn tease. He’d brush his fingers against her at home, he’d flex the muscles in his arms and hands. He knew what the hell he was doing to her and would follow each display of teasing with a proud glint in his eye.

Today though, the situation seemed more charged than before. Today, Jo was stuck in an OR with Alex. One of her placenta previa patients had been experiencing some concerning pain for the past week. After various testing, Jo decided that delivering the fetus as soon as possible was the best course of action for everyone’s safety. Being that the mother was only thirty weeks into her pregnancy and the baby had been diagnosed with a heart defect in-utero, Jo knew that she had to have a peds surgeon ready to treat the child as soon as possible. She’d hoped for Arizona, but well, you don’t always get what you hope for.

That’s how she found herself standing over Alex’s shoulder in the NICU as he worked on the premature child. The mother had fared well and all but demanded that Jo go up to the NICU to personally evaluate the baby. So there she was, watching Alex’s large hands practically engulf the preemie as he held the little boy closely and adjusted some of the wiring.

I'm going to hell. Jo thought to herself. There is a sick baby and all I can think about is how big Alex’s hands are. Jo gulped quietly as Alex’s fingers twitched slightly. Yup, definitely going to hell.

After seeing that the baby was fine and taking a few pictures, Jo hurried back to her patient’s hospital room, “Hi Brenda. Little Gideon is doing great. Doctor Karev is there monitoring him, but it seems as though he is stable. I took you some pictures if you’d like to see.”

“Yes! Thank you,” Brenda answered teary-eyed. “I wish I could hold him.”

“You’ll be able to soon,” Jo comforted. “And trust me when I tell you, he’s in the best hands.”

“You understand, my worry, I mean? On top of it all, I’m doing this all alone,” Brenda motioned to Jo’s stomach. “How far along are you?”

“Seventeen weeks,” Jo replied. “And yes, I do understand. I’m also doing this alone. Just a little over a month and a half ago I had a scare myself. I started bleeding more than normal. But do you know who I was with when it happened and who helped me? Doctor Karev. And if my baby or I were ever in any danger, he’s the first person I’d ask for. He’s the first person I’d trust to take care of us.”

“He’s good right? And I don’t just mean a good doctor. He’d obviously have to be a good doctor to work here. I guess what I want to know is, is he a good person?” Brenda leaned forward.

Jo chuckled at the woman’s question, “Yes. Alex is one of the best people I know.”

“Okay, okay, I think I feel a little better now,” Brenda nodded her head. Brenda looked lost in thought before she blushed lightly. “He’s really hot isn’t he? Dr. Karev? And this whole gig with the babies doesn't hurt him either. Please tell me you’ve hit that.”

“Brenda!” Jo laughed along with her patient.

“Sorry, you don’t have to answer that,” Brenda smiled bashfully. “I just… Well, if I worked with that every day, I would’ve jumped him a long time ago.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jo shook her head in amusement. “I know this is unprofessional since I’m your doctor, but for your information, I have hit that before.”

Brenda gasped in excitement, “Really? When? How was it? Did it happen more than once?”

“It was fantastic,” Jo sighed as her mind became distracted with thoughts of she and Alex’s past hookups in this very hospital. “It was years ago. And yes, it happened more than once. It happened quite a few times.”

“I'm sorry. You are my doctor and I’m asking you about your sex life and you’re four months pregnant which I know means that you are really… frustrated right now and I am definitely not helping you,” Brenda winced apologetically.

“Definitely not helping me,” Jo huffed and shook her head, trying to get the horribly obscene thoughts out of her brain. “Anyway, Gideon is okay and Dr. Karev is taking great care of him. If we’re lucky, he won’t need to go into surgery to correct his heart until he gets a little stronger.”

“Thank you, Dr. Wilson,” Brenda called out as Jo walked over to the door. “Oh and Dr. Wilson!” Jo turned to face Brenda who had a bright smile on her face. “You should hit that again.”

Jo rolled her eyes, “I’ll think about it.”

The rest of the day, Jo was practically itching to get home. She checked the schedule on the board and saw that Alex would be home an hour after her and Cristina was on call tonight. As soon as her shift was over, she rushed to her car and drove quickly to the house. Immediately upon arriving, Jo went upstairs to the bathroom to shower and shave. On the drive home, Jo had resolved her decision to finally ask Alex for the one thing she’d been craving more than anything. So now, she was sitting on the side of the tub attempting to shave—a task she had been severely neglecting ever since her bump appeared.

Hearing Alex’s car pull up in the driveway, Jo toweled off quickly, throwing on an oversized t-shirt and hurrying down the stairs. She sat on a chair beside the staircase waiting for Alex to walk inside. Jo had been fidgeting and bouncing her leg anxiously when the door opened to reveal a confused Alex.

Jo jumped up from the chair, “We have the house to ourselves.”

“What?” Alex’s face scrunched up in question.

“We have the house to ourselves,” Jo repeated. “But I want you to know, that just because I’m about to jump into bed with you does not mean I’m some pregnant slut who has no morals. Because I do have morals. I have lots of them. But I’m also very, very—”

“No more talking,” Alex shushed her.

“Huh?”

Alex ran his hands down her body’s curves to grab her thighs, wrapping her legs around his waist and picking her up effortlessly, gaining a startled gasp from the woman in his arms.

“Yes! Oh, thank God!”

He carried her up the stairs and into her room. The delicious rub of her body against he drew a groan from the back of his throat. In retaliation, he grazed a hand back up her body, slipping under her shirt and over the curve of her waist, groaning as he realized that she was completely bare underneath.

Impatient as ever, Jo pulled back from the kiss and yanked her shirt over her head. Alex pressed her against the nearest wall and reverently ran a hand over the newly exposed skin. Her breathing was labored. While he was distracted, Jo moved on to his shirt. Her hands lingered on his muscles as she slowly exposed each one. Her thighs clenched tighter to hold herself up as Alex raised his arms and he pressed his pelvis into hers. The movement earned him a stuttered gasp so he did it again.

Jo tossed his shirt carelessly to some lost corner of the room. Their lips met again in a desperate kiss, skin pressed to skin. Alex’s hand slid up her back, holding her to him. As he pulled them from the wall and moved to the bed, his other hand found its way to her breast and got his first handful of cleavage.

He thumbed her nipple. Jo whined and Alex repeated the motion as he lowered her to the bed. His mouth left hers and pressed more kisses across her jaw, down her neck, and paused at the juncture with her shoulder when she moaned and thrusted against him in response. Her fingers speared into his hair to hold him in place. The other hand guided his back to her breast to squeeze.

Her hand then returned to run down his chest. Her nails trailed over his nipples and she nipped his neck as her fingers reached the button of his jeans. With one motion, she opened his pants and slipped her hand inside his pants to cup him without anything in between them.

Alex sifted down the bed, pressing kisses down her body. He dragged his lips across her skin, kissing every inch of skin until he reached the juncture between her legs.

“Alex,” Jo whined when he paused.

Alex chuckled and pressed a conciliatory kiss to her hip bone. He settled back between her legs, kissing along the soft, exposed skin of her thighs. Jo’s hands curled into his hair and tried to direct him to her center faster. He laughed against her skin and bit her thigh in retaliation.

“God,” Alex breathed out, dangerously close to her hot center. “I’ve been thinking about this all damn week.”

“So have I,” Jo replied shakily.

Alex’s hands ran up and down her thighs as he pressed kisses along her bump and pelvis, “You’re so beautiful.”

“Alex, I swear to God, if you don’t—” She never got to finish her threat, cut off when his mouth found her pussy. “Oh, fuck, Alex!”

He used his fingers to spread her open as he lapped at her entrance, pressed into her, taking his cues from the way her hands in his hair, the sounds she made, and the movement of her hips. His tongue swirled up to her clit, varying speed and strength. He started with a single finger, slipping it into her wet warmth with ease. At her encouragement, he added a second. After a few sample thrusts, he crooked his fingers to find the spongy flesh that made her keen.

Alex groaned against her, adding a third finger. Jo tensed under him as he built her right up to the ledge and then stopped. Jo whined as he distanced himself, watching in fascination as her pussy clenched around nothing. His thumb grazed her labia and Jo jerked at the sensation.

“Alex,” Her plea conveyed in a single word.

He let his thumb strum her labia again, “What do you want, Jo?” He rubbed his cock against the bed, hoping the friction will relieve some of the building tension. He lightly stroked her again. “You’re going to have to be specific.”

“Make me come.”

“More specific,” Alex teased as he leaned forward and let his breath exhale across her skin.

Emboldened by Alex’s urging, Jo huffed at him, “Make me come with your mouth. Use your fingers until I gush around you, and then fuck me until I come again.”

Alex’s attention flew directly on her clit, teasing it with his tongue as he thrust three fingers in and out, pressing against that spot that made her see stars. Jo dragged his other hand up to clench around her breast as she chanted, “Yes, yes, oh, God, Alex, there, there, fuck, Alex, I’m coming!”

She shuddered under him, coming with a spasm around his fingers. He pulled his fingers out and sat up. He yanked her by the thighs toward him. He lifted her legs up, wrapped them around his waist, and thrust himself deep into her, groaning as he felt her still clenching around him.

The moment he was inside her, it was like a once black and white world exploding with color. It was electrifying and consuming, to the point that neither Jo or Alex really dared to move out of fear of ruining this perfectly good moment. This feeling that neither one of them had experienced since the last time they were joined this way over three and a half years ago.

Jo’s thighs clenched to hold her in place and Alex leaned forward. Her insides fluttered as Alex slid both hands under her and lifted Jo so she hovered over him, gravity forcing her down on his cock. With each thrust, she rocked against him, rubbing against all of him. She whimpered and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

Alex turned so he could sit on the edge of the bed as Jo rode him, desperate and needy. His hand slipped between them to rub against her clit as he got close to orgasm. Jo grabbed his face and sealed her lips to his in a messy kiss that tasted like her, as she climaxed again and he fell over the edge with her.

They both collapsed back against the bed, sweaty and breathless. Alex ran a hand up over her back in soothing strokes as Jo tried to catch her breath. He wasn’t not doing so hot on the breathing himself, but the softness of her skin was soothing, as is the scent of her that surrounds them along with the musty aroma of sex.

They were silent as they came back down from their highs. Neither one brave enough to voice their thoughts even though they both had the same exact thing running through their brains: holy crap.

Not because it was bad. Definitely not because it was bad. It was because it was good. Really good. Too good. It was too good, too much, too overwhelming, too intimate. It wasn’t the kind of sex you had with a one night stand or even a friend. No, this was the kind of sex you had with the person who knew you better than anyone. This was the kind of sex you had with a lover.

But Jo and Alex wouldn’t admit that. No, admitting something as cataclysmic as that would complicate things. It would put a strain on the friendship that they were still trying to carefully rebuild. So, Jo filed the feelings she was feeling away in her brain as a result of the pregnancy hormones, while Alex blamed their history and unfinished business on the sudden onset of his desire for more than this.

There wasn’t any room for feelings. Especially when neither one of them wanted to give this up. They could do it. They could separate the emotion from the action. They could be sex friends. Yes, that’s exactly what they would be: sex friends.

——————

-This love is good-

-This love is bad-

-This love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh-

21 Weeks

“Hey, you okay?”

Jo looked up from her spot on her bed to see Alex standing in the doorway, arms crossed and a concerned expression on his face. She shook her head slightly, “Not really. I’m sad.”

“Well, you know I wouldn’t mind cheering you up,” Alex wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he walked closer to the bed. “Take your mind off things for a while. I could do that thing with my tongue that you really like.”

Jo chuckled, “No, but thanks for the offer. I could really use a friend, though.”

Alex removed his shoes and laid down beside her, propping himself up on his elbow as she turned on her side to face him. Alex reached to hold her hand, “What’s going on?”

“I felt the baby kick for the first time today,” Jo’s lips twitched into a small smile. “I’ve felt her flutter before but today was the first time I actually felt her kick. She’s kicking right now if you want to feel.”

Jo positioned Alex’s hand over her belly and waited for her daughter to kick again. Seconds later, Alex was met with a strong kick against his hand. Alex gasped excitedly and leaned down towards Jo’s stomach, “Hey baby girl Wilson. You’ve got a strong set of legs right there.”

Jo’s eyes widened as she felt another series of strong kicks, “She likes you.”

“She does, doesn’t she?” Alex turned his attention back to the spot where the kicks were coming from. “Like mother, like daughter I guess.” Alex felt a slap on his head. “Hey! It’s the truth. Anyway, be good for your momma okay? No more scares like the ones you gave us a couple months ago. And try not press on her bladder too much. Just focus on growing and getting strong. Uncle Alex can’t wait to meet you.”

Jo felt a couple tears slip down her cheeks. She was still getting used to seeing Alex like this. Sure, even before he’d always been sweet and kind to her, but this softness was definitely something she felt privileged to see. Before, he’d been more cocky and callous, arrogant and closed-off. However, peds had changed him. He lived and breathed for the children he took care of. Jo could see that clear as day. And there wasn’t one moment that went by where she didn’t feel immensely grateful for the opportunity to know this side of him as well.

Alex straightened and laid back down on the bed next to Jo, bringing her close. He ran his hand along her back and spoke, “You gonna tell me why you’re sad?”

“I just…” Jo sighed. “Feeling her kick today just made everything real. I’m having a baby and I’m going to be raising her alone.” She paused and her eyes watered. “I felt her kick today and my first instinct was to call Jason. I don’t even know why. I kind of hate him if I’m being honest. He’s one of the worst guys I’ve ever been with and that’s saying something because I have been known to have... questionable taste in men. But I felt her kick and I just—I couldn’t stop thinking about how she will never know her father. She’ll never have a father to take her to daddy-daughter dances, or protect her from the monsters under her bed, or intimidate all of her boyfriends. She’ll never have a father that shows her an example of how she should expect to be treated and respected and cared for and loved. All she’ll have is me.” Jo sniffled and wiped a straying tear. “I think back to my own childhood and think of the rejection I felt. The rejection I still feel. I never want her to feel that. But sometimes, I’m afraid I won’t be enough. That even with all my love and support, she’ll still feel like something—or someone is missing and that she’ll blame herself for that.”

“When I was a kid, all I wanted was for someone to care. It didn't matter who, just that they cared," Alex started. "My mom was sick, so most of the time, l was taking care of her and my siblings. And my dad, well let's just say that even when he was around, he might as well not have been. For a lot of time I resented him, still do if I'm being honest. But that's because even though my mom was supposed to be the one in charge, I was the single parent." Alex placed his hand on Jo's stomach again and was rewarded with another set of kicks. "This little girl is never going to know anything but love and care. She already has it so different than you or I ever had it. She’s got people in her corner and she hasn’t even been born. You may be a single mom, but that doesn't mean your family is any less whole. You can't control now she'll feel, but don't ever think that you aren't already a good enough mother."

“How the hell do you always know exactly what to say?” Jo wiped a few tears off her cheeks.

“Guess I’m just fluent in Jo Wilson,” Alex shrugged, a smile on his face.

“I missed this,” Jo whispered after a few more minutes. “All those years I was gone? I missed just talking to you and hugging you and laying down next to you. And now that I’m here and you’re here, I don’t ever want to leave again. I know I’d be okay if I moved, but I would never truly be happy. I know that now more than ever. I’d miss you too much.”

“I’d miss you too,” Alex pressed a kiss on her forehead. “But it’s a good thing I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon, because I plan on seeing this little girl grow up. Which reminds me of something actually.”

Alex reached to grab a bag he’d set down on the foot of the bed when he’d laid down next to Jo. He opened it and took out a green onesie that said, “ My uncle is the coolest.” He showed it Jo with a big smile on his face, “Ta da. Figured I’d buy this for her now, since I already know she’s going to prefer me to everyone else.”

“Oh my god, Alex,” Jo’s hand flew up to her mouth and she let out a laugh. “I love it. This is her first onesie.”

“Really?” Alex raised his eyebrows. “Huh, well, everything else is just going to have to try to measure up to the awesomeness of this one.”

“Shut up,” Jo grinned and rolled her eyes. “I really do love it. But why do I have a feeling that she’s actually going to like you more than she likes me?”

“What can I say? The Wilson ladies love me,” Alex smirked.

“We sure do.”

——————

-This love left a permanent mark-

-This love is glowing in the dark, oh, oh, oh-

24 Weeks

“What’s up with you?” Meredith asked as she peered through the doorway of the nursery Alex was currently painting. “Are you surprising Jo with a nursery? Is this why you called me?”

“She’s been stressed and I wanted to do something nice for her and the baby,” Alex explained as he continued to coat the walls with the light gray paint. “I read in one of those baby books that the parents left lying around in the NICU that light gray walls are supposed to calm babies and help them sleep through the night so I decided on this with teal, white, and light pink accents.”

Meredith’s jaw dropped in shock, “You decided on a paint scheme?”

“Well, I asked Kepner and Robbins for help,” Alex looked over his shoulder at his friend. “They picked out the colors and gave me pictures to go off of. I can’t paint it all by myself though, so I called you. I would’ve asked Cristina, but you know Yang isn’t going to spend her day off painting a nursery. Plus, she decided to go to that conference in Portland this weekend. Besides, you’ve got a daughter so I figured you’d know what little girls like better.”

“Alex,” Meredith sighed. “Why are you doing this? Are you trying to win her back? Because it doesn’t really work like that.”

“No, no, this has nothing to do with winning her back,” Alex waved his hand in protest. “Well, I mean it would be nice if I could win her back, but that’s not why I’m doing this.” Alex paused as he figured out what he was trying to say. “I’m just trying to be a good friend… all I can think about every time I see her, glowing and smiling as she holds her belly, is how much I screwed up. I screwed up so bad all those years ago and now she’s having another man’s baby.” Alex looked down at his hands. “All I’ve ever wanted is to be that man. To be beside her throughout the whole process, to get excited and plan for what’s to come, to cry as I hold our child in my arms for the first time. But I was stupid and I practically ripped her heart out, and now she’s too afraid to go any further with me. Because it’s not just her anymore. She’s got a daughter to think about now. Her daughter will always come first. And that’s how it should be. I just… I wish Jo was having our daughter.”

Meredith placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder, “You really never stopped loving her.”

“Nope,” Alex let out a breath. “And this… arrangement or whatever we have going on is great. Really. It’s fun and it feels like us. But I want so much more, Mer. I want everything with her and I can’t have everything because I was a dumbass.”

“Give her time,” Meredith ran a comforting hand between his shoulder blades. “She loves you. I know that much. Don’t try too hard. Just keep being Alex, and one day hopefully she’ll want more. Now, give me a paint brush so I can get started on the accent wall. We don't need you messing up the lines and smudging the paint."

Alex rolled his eyes and handed Meredith a brush, "Shut up and get to work."

Five hours and a few arguments later, Alex and Meredith were putting the finishing touches on the new nursery as they waited for Jo's arrival.

"Do you think she'll like it?" Alex fidgeted nervously as he stared at the completed space. "You don't think it's too much right?"

"Alex, calm down," Meredith chuckled. "She's going to love it."

"You think? You don't think she'll be upset that I did it all without her?"

"Are you kidding?" Meredith laughed. "Jo loves surprises. She's also six months pregnant and is a blubbering emotional, hormonal mess half the time. She's going to cry happy tears when she realizes there is one less thing on her plate. As a fellow pregnant, hormonal lady, I think this just might get you laid."

“Shut up,” Alex finally let out a laugh that settled his nerves. “Okay, get out of here. She’s gonna be here in a few minutes and see your car in the driveway.”

“Okay, okay, I’m leaving,” Meredith grabbed her things and headed towards the front door. She was about to step outside when she turned to look at her friend. “Alex.”

Alex looked at Meredith expectantly, “What is it?”

“I’m proud of you,” Meredith said, a playful smile on her face. “You’re acting very grown up.”

Alex could feel the blush make its way on his face as his lips curled into a bashful grin, “Stop it.”

“Let me know how it goes!”

Alex watched Meredith leave and moved to sit on the couch. He waited anxiously for Jo to arrive home. He jumped up when he saw her car finally make its way up the driveway. Alex was waiting by the door when she walked in, “Hey.”

“Hi,” Jo looked at him strangely. “What’s going on with you?”

“I have something to show you. A surprise,” Alex breathed out.

“A surprise?” Jo raised an eyebrow. “Ooh! Is it that ice cream that I’ve been craving all week?”

“No, it’s not ice cream,” Alex shook his head in amusement. “It’s upstairs.”

“Okay…” Jo observed him for a moment. “Well then, lead the way.”

Jo followed Alex closely as he guided her up the stairs to the bedroom that had been sitting empty for the past few months. Alex placed his hand on the doorknob, “So, I did something and I don’t know… maybe you’ll love it, maybe you’ll hate it. Anyway, I worked hard on it and I hope that it’s everything you could’ve dreamed of.”

Jo gasped as Alex opened the door to the guest room—now nursery. She stepped in and spent the next few minutes taking it all in. Tears collected in her eyes as she walked around the room and traced her hands along the edge of the walls, the crib, the rocking chair, the changing table, the twin bed in the corner for her to use during the first weeks after the baby was born, and the various other pieces that Alex had purchased in an effort to prepare the room.

“You did this all by yourself?” Jo asked after a few minutes of just staring at all his hard work in awe.

“It was my idea, but I had some help,” Alex shuffled his feet awkwardly. “Kepner and Robbins helped me pick the color scheme, Cristina bought the rocking chair, Hunt gave me the day off, Meredith helped me paint and put the furniture together. It was a team effort.”

Jo lurched forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, “Thank you.” Jo whispered tenderly and wiped a couple tears. “I can’t believe you do this for me. For us.” Jo placed a hand on her swollen stomach. “No one has ever done anything like this for me before.”

“I want you guys to have everything,” Alex’s flit back and forth between Jo’s mouth and eyes. “You deserve all this and more. Both of you do. I swear, as long as I’m around, my goddaughter is never going to want for anything. Because between you and me, she’s gonna be spoiled rotten.”

Jo was about to say something when they were interrupted by the doorbell. Alex straightened and walked downstairs, “I’ll get it. Why don’t you take a shower and relax? I’ll order takeout from that restaurant down the street while you get comfortable.”

Jo nodded quietly and made her way to the bathroom to get showered. For weeks now, Jo had been fighting with herself and her feelings towards Alex. Her resolve was slowly wearing down and in truth, it had been since the moment she’d arrived back in Seattle. Everything within her burned for Alex. And the sex arrangement they’d had going on for the past two months certainly did not help matters. Because as much as Jo tried to convince herself that it had to be the hormones making her feel this way, it was never just sex with Alex.

It had always been so much more—at least on her part. Every time she kissed him, every time she touched him, every time she laid in bed beside him, waiting until he fell asleep so she could leave, Jo found herself getting lost in the daydreams, thinking about what life would be life if she were just a little braver and gave into what her heart wanted more than anything.

Because it was true. She wanted Alex and a life with Alex more than anything. But Jo was afraid to allow herself to fall for him completely again because she knew how hard it was the last time when it ended. The last time hurt like hell. The last time, she ended up leaving Seattle. The last time, she lost a part of herself. The fear of things ending like they did the last time was almost always enough to reel her back in and sway her to decide against going any further with the man she was sure was the love of her life. This time though, she wasn’t so sure it would be enough.

Finishing her shower and burying those thoughts in the back of her mind, Jo toweled off and put on a pair of sweatpants and one of the old tshirts she’d stolen from Alex when her belly outgrew hers. She threw her damp hair into a half-hazard braid and made her way down the hall. Pausing in the doorway of the new nursery, Jo smiled again. Not seeing Alex inside, she walked out into the hallway and called out his name.

“Alex?”

“In here.”

Jo turned down the hall toward his bedroom, hearing the shuffling of a couple items as she neared the door, “Hey, who was that at the door earlier?”

Alex looked over his shoulder, “Oh it was the delivery truck. This came in a little late, so I’m setting it up now.”

Finally setting her gaze on what he was working on, Jo sucked in a surprised gasp. There in front of her very eyes, Alex was setting up the bassinet in his room.

Unsure of the meaning of his actions, Jo spoke, “What’s this?”

“Oh, I—uh, I bought it so I could help you when the baby is here. You know, in case you ever want to take a break or just need a goodnight’s sleep, I can help with the baby too,” Alex shrugged, looking up at her as if the words that he’d just spoken so nonchalantly were of little importance. “It’s a pretty cool bassinet too. One of the nurses in peds recommended it to me. You know Marissa? The one with five kids? She told me that—”

Alex’s voice faded into the background as Jo became lost in thought. This can’t be real. Guys don’t just do these things for their friends. Jo felt herself become increasingly emotional as she processed the significance of Alex’s actions. He’s all in with me. He’s all in with this baby that’s not even his. He’s here and he hasn’t left and he’s not going to leave because he loves me. That may have been the most startling realization. It really shouldn’t have been that surprising that Alex had never stopped loving her, not for one moment. But for some reason, Jo felt her heart swell at the knowledge that all this time, he’d just been waiting patiently for her to let him know when she was ready for more.

Realizing that Alex was still speaking, Jo looked back up at his stupid, perfect, beautiful face and opened her mouth to try express the rush of emotions that had just hit her like a thousand bricks. Rendered speechless, Jo did what she knew best. She showed him.

Jo interrupted Alex’s nervous rambling by placing both hands on his face and pressing her head against his own. She took a deep breath and stared deeply into Alex’s confused eyes. Mustering up what little courage she had left, Jo leaned forward and kissed him.

Despite his initial surprise, Alex reciprocated quickly. His arms wrapped around her body quickly, pulling her to him as closely as he could possibly get. Sure, they’d kissed before, but this was different. This kiss wasn’t just a result of built up sexual tension or lust. This kiss was pure love, passion, devotion, and emotion all rolled up into one. He was practically thrumming with awe at the sensation and demonstrated every ounce of his love for her in that kiss as he could.

When they finally pulled away, Alex looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face. He watched as Jo opened and closed her mouth dumbly a few times before interjecting, “You okay there? You look a little speechless. I mean, I know I'm a great kisser but it’s nice to get that validation every once in a while.” Alex smirked as his little quip eased the tension between them, immediately making Jo feel more comfortable.

“Alex,” Jo breathed out a laugh and felt tears prickle at her eyes. “Why would you do all of this for me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Jo looked at the sincerity in his eyes and left her own pool with water, “You didn’t have to.”

“I know,” Alex nodded. “I wanted to. Because… I love you, Jo. You know that.”

“I don’t deserve it,” Jo wiped a tear that had made its way down her cheek.

“Of course you do,” Alex’s hands found her stomach and rested comfortably on her bump. “You and this baby deserve all the love in the world. There isn’t anything you could do that would make me want to stop loving you.”

Jo let out a sob, “There’s something I need to tell you. Something that I’ve been wanting to say for months now, but I was never brave enough to say it. I want to be brave now.”

“You know that you can tell me anything,” Alex’s eyes bored into hers intensely.

“Okay… I’m, uh… I𑁋” Jo stuttered awkwardly.

“I don’t hear anything,” Alex chuckled as Jo struggled to find the words.

“Shut up!” Jo looked at him exasperatedly. “I’m freaking out enough as it is.”

“Okay, but𑁋”

“I’m serious,” Jo pouted, prompting Alex to laugh.

“Fine,” Alex schooled his expression and waited until she found her voice again.

“I love you,” Jo confessed, heart racing wildly inside her chest. “I’m in love with you, Alex. I’ve been in love with you ever since that first night when you kissed me in the rain outside Joe’s bar after we passed our intern exams. I’ve loved you since then and I haven’t stopped loving you. Yes, you hurt me more than anyone ever has, but you’ve also loved me more than anyone I’ve ever known. And it's not just a fleeting love, it's pure love. It’s a true love. It’s all the things I had always dreamed of as a little girl. I won’t pretend it’s been easy loving you, because loving you isn’t something I just fell into. It was a choice I made, a choice I continue to make every single day because loving you comes to me as natural as breathing. I can’t seem to let go of our past promises and dreams, so I want the chance to realize our forever. And I want to try, but I mean, actually try this time. No more messing around or pretending like we're content with just being friends. I want more with you Alex. All I know is I want you just because you’re you and we’re us. I want everything with you.”

Alex’s face soon mirrored Jo’s as tears began to fall from his eyes. He pressed their foreheads together, noses brushing against each other. He closed his eyes, “I love you. I love you. I love you.” Alex laughed joyfully. “I love you so much that sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe. Throughout my life I’ve been with a lot of nobodies, but you’re not a nobody. You’re my person. You’re the love of my life. And yeah, I probably sound like the stupidest, cheesiest, guy on the face of the earth right now, but I don’t care. I don’t care if I look like a fool. I’ll look like the biggest idiot on the planet if it meant that you’d finally understand how much I love you. How much I want you. How much I need you. I need you, Jo and I don’t ever want to be without you.”

Despite the tears currently running down her face, Jo smiled shyly, “So, is this what I think it is? Does this mean we’re trying?”

“Hell yes,” Alex kissed her soundly. “It’s you and me against the world from now on.”

They were interrupted by a round of kicks against their palms, causing the two of them to laugh. Alex knelt down in front of Jo’s bump, “I’m sorry, Baby Wilson. What I meant was me, your mom and you against the world.”

Alex’s response to Jo’s belly garnered another kick. Jo rolled her eyes, “Oh gosh. She really does like you better than she likes me.”

“She’s just jealous,” Alex smirked. “I have that effect on the ladies.”

Jo laughed, “Shut up.”

“Make me,” Alex challenged, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“You’re gonna regret having said that,” Jo warned as she pushed him over to the bed.

“You know, I don’t think I will.”

-These hands had to let it go free, and-

-This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh-

Were you expecting any of what just happened? Lol let me know what you thought and anything you like to see. Also, send me baby name suggestions!

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makeste · 4 years

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top 20 favorite quirks

okay, but listen, though! it’s exactly what it says in the title. not best quirks, or most useful quirks, or most creative quirks. not even coolest quirks! I did try to take all of these things into consideration when choosing, but honestly? by far the most important factor was, “I JUST THINK THEY’RE NEAT.”

anyway but let me backtrack and post the actual ask.

you’ll note that at no point was I asked to pick twenty of them. I did that all on my own. so here is my list!

20. Solid Air (Tsuburaba)

Tsubaraba Kousei. all-time undefeated grand champion of The Floor Is Lava. or at least he was until Ochako came along. anyway, so this is an extremely nifty quirk with all sorts of utility ranging from defense to helping him get around. it’s super useful for catching bad guys, and apparently the only real limit is his lung capacity. this quirk has so much potential and I love it.

19. Copy (Monoma)

the fact that he can copy his opponents’ powers and use them against them is badass enough, but add in the fact that he can hold up to 3 (or 4??) of them at once -- for as long as ten minutes -- and this quirk starts getting seriously powerful. anyway so one thing you might note as you read on is that although Copy is on my favorite quirks list, AFO is not! and that’s because Monoma’s limits actually make the quirk much more interesting to me, because they force him (and Horikoshi) to get creative. this is a really fun quirk and I would love to see more of Monoma in action. about time we saw him fight some actual villains and not just class 1-A, honestly.

18. Brainwashing (Shinsou)

as with Monoma’s quirk, what really sets this apart from other mind-control superpowers (to me, anyway) is the fact that it has limitations. he can’t just control anyone at random; in order to take them over he has to get them to respond to him somehow. which leads to innovations like the voice-changer, and which as a result has made his battles so genuinely interesting and fun to watch. anyway so I really want Shinsou to hurry up and join 2-A, and for them to just give him his provisional license all “here you go, son” with no testing whatsoever, because we’re past the point of pretending the HPSC is actually responsible these days, and because I really want to see if he can help turn the tides the next time the heroes battle the League.

17. Zero Gravity (Ochako)

I feel like it’s worth noting that I don’t really have any kind of fear of heights or falling or anything like that. and so I can’t really explain why Toga using this quirk on Ms. Curious and her lackeys was hands down one of the most singularly disturbing scenes in the entire manga for me! but it was!! even now I’m wincing just thinking about it. she just lifted them all up and DROPPED THEM and they just FELL and DIED. just like that. holy fucking shit. anyway, so we should all be very grateful that Ochako is super kind and sweet and more inclined towards helping people rather than murdering them. because holy shit. anyways though this quirk is dope.

16. Erasure (Aizawa)

I once said that this quirk was “not very cinematic”, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so wrong about anything in my life. oh, past me. you truly underestimated the dramatic impact of someone with a terrifyingly powerful quirk going in for the kill, only to be all “NANI?!” as they suddenly realize that their powers are no longer working, and the camera pans over to a man with gorgeous floating hair and intense red anime eyes. I owe you an apology, Erasure. you are cinematic AF.

15. Black Hole (Thirteen)

I really wish we got to see Thirteen fight more often. they suffer from the same “too powerful” curse as so many of the other characters and it’s a shame. anyway so Black Hole is cool af and gives me a ton of Miroku/kazaana vibes, which I freaking love. this quirk is lowkey on a Tomura-level of destructive potential, honestly, and yet no one ever talks about it?? Thirteen could literally destroy anything they touched if they wanted to?? imagine if they ever Awakened, you guys. holy shit.

14. Tape (Sero)

this power is so fucking stupid and ridiculous and completely absurd and I LOVE IT. Horikoshi really drew a skinny guy with tape elbows and was all, “so this kid is basically Spider-Man but with tape. I have not put the least bit of logical thought or creative effort into this power beyond that, and I’m not going to, either.” and somehow we all just accepted it. anyway, dubious origins aside, it’s such a versatile ability and Sero has such amazing control over it. it’s offense; it’s defense; he can use it to set traps; he can use it for maneuverability. TAPE ELBOWS CAN DO IT ALL.

13. Outburst (Ms. Joke)

when will it finally be her time. Outburst is one of those powers that sounds super dumb at first, until you really stop and think what the ability to make someone laugh at will could actually DO to people. true uncontrollable belly laughter is a totally incapacitating thing. she’d have people collapsing to the ground and practically seizing up. and good luck using your own quirk to fight back when you’re doubled over struggling to breathe and can’t even see straight because of the tears in your eyes. that’s assuming any of her opponents are even capable of thinking straight long enough to try it. like, this is such a straight up brutal ability and the fact that we have still NEVER SEEN IT is honestly infuriating.

12. Glamour (Camie)

it’s an illusion quirk. of course I have to put it on my list. illusion powers make every battle approximately 100x more entertaining. and what makes this particular power even better is that in any other series, this quirk would have been given to some Tokoyami-esque super serious emo kid. but BnHA went and gave it to Karen from Mean Girls instead. what a fucking power move. goddamn.

11. Black (Kuroiro)

according to BnHA Ultra Analysis, Kuroiro’s Appearing Out of Nowhere skills are rated a 4 out of 6. I still haven’t figured out if this is meant to be a burn on him or not. this kid can ninja in and out of literally any dark object in existence. if it’s nighttime, that means he can basically move wherever he wants to at will. of course he’s skilled at Appearing Out of Nowhere. so tell me then, why is it ONLY a four out of six?? how could he possibly fuck this up?? who was grading him?? DOES HE JUST SUCK. I don’t know, but anyway it’s really funny to me and also I really love this quirk.

10. Transform (Toga)

Toga went and Awakened herself right into the top ten with the reveal that not only can she mimic other people’s appearances, but that while she is transformed, she can actually use their quirks. like excuse me, what?? holy shit??? it is honestly driving me crazy that we’ve only seen this in action once. Transform is basically Plot Twist: The Quirk. I really want to see Toga use it to its full potential and infiltrate U.A. and/or spy on the HPSC and/or murder someone with their loved one’s own quirk. I WANT HER TO GIVE SOMEONE THE MAES HUGHES TREATMENT. I want her to do something so shocking that people ragequit the fucking manga lol. I know I’m always saying the manga isn’t that dark, but this is honestly the one exception where I would freaking love for it to get dark as shit. anyway so yeah. if you want to fuck with people you really couldn’t ask for a better quirk.

9. Creation (Momo)

MACGUYVER: THE QUIRK. an unlimited inventory in the hands of someone brilliant enough to actually utilize it to its full extent. what’s not to love? honestly if it were me with this quirk it would be completely useless. not only would I get hopelessly bored two seconds into trying to memorize an object’s molecular structure or whatever, but even if I DID manage to figure out how to make stuff, I would never know what to do with the stuff, or when to use it. every time a new situation cropped up I would just create a bunch of random objects in a panic. but Momo is so elegant in her problem-solving that she often needs to create only one or two things to come up with the perfect solution for something. basically this is a good quirk that becomes a truly great quirk when placed in the hands of the best possible person in the world to wield it. the quirk is awesome because Momo is awesome, and I fucking adore quirks like that (see: next entry).

8. Permeation (Mirio)

ah, Mirio. the original victim of the “too powerful to be allowed” curse. remember that time he BEAT HALF OF CLASS 1-A IN UNDER SIX SECONDS, you guys. small wonder Horikoshi couldn’t even make it through one complete villain fight with him before he had to de-quirk the poor kid. anyway, so Mirio makes this quirk look so mind-blowingly awesome that it’s easy to forget what a terrifying and fucked-up power it is in reality. “yeah it makes me blind and deaf and if I’m not careful I’ll fall into the center of the earth or splice myself in two or some shit.” what the actual fuck Mirio. but because he’s worked so hard and because Nighteye trained him so well, he’s mastered the timing to such an insane degree that he could kick Overhaul in the face without harming a single hair on Eri’s body. and honestly, there’s no way I could not love a quirk that gave us a moment like that.

7. Warp Gate (Kurogiri)

unlike SOME OTHER PEOPLE whose names start with Kuro, I would bet you that Kurogiri’s Appearing Out of Nowhere skills are a full six out of six! alas, the top ten of this list is chock full of people whose quirks are so badass that they had to be written out of the story one way or another. with Kuro at large there was technically nothing stopping the villains from just dropping in on U.A. one night to kill All Might, or rekidnap Bakugou, or whatever else they might want to do. and that’s actually a really scary thought though lol so it’s no wonder that Horikoshi was all, “yeah I’ll just have them capture him now.” anyways do you guys remember that one time in chapter 18 when Kuro used Warp Gate to create an endless loop of All Might suplexing Noumu suplexing All Might?? fucking quirks, though. wild.

6. Fiber Master (Best Jeanist)

another badass quirk, another badass quirk-user incapacitated and taken out of the story before their time. Best Jeanist is honestly terrifying. if he wanted to he could immobilize and even strangle and kill pretty much anyone in the world, whenever he fucking felt like it. that alone would be crazy enough, but then add to that that this quirk for all intents and purposes is basically telekinesis. as long as someone is wearing clothing he can move them around however he wants, as we saw in Kamino. basically, everything Hawks can do with Fierce Wings, Jeanist can probably do with his own quirk. AND THAT INCLUDES FLYING, YOU GUYS. the more I think about it the more I think we truly were robbed. I need Jeanist to come back already and fly everyone at Jakku to safety and tie Tomura to a chair with his own cape before proceeding to style his hair.

5. Rewind (Eri)

IT’S MY LIST!! I CAN PUT WHATEVER I WANT, AND IF YOU SAY I CAN’T, I’M TELLING MOM. okay but listen. everyone always rags on this quirk and how stupidly powerful it is, and look, I get it. but isn’t it kind of interesting that everyone is also always speculating over who Eri is eventually going to heal with her quirk? like, fandom is always complaining about how broken it is but at the same time they’re out here hatching all of these wild theories that center around it. and to me that indicates that in truth, this is actually an awesome quirk -- just so long as it’s used right. obviously there have to be some major limitations or else this is just “Fix Everything: The Quirk.” thankfully, Horikoshi did limit it! it’s super dangerous, she has trouble controlling it, and most importantly, it’s ridiculously slow to recharge and so she can only use it once every few months. it’s basically Recovery Girl’s quirk with a bonus slow-replenishing stamina bar that, once charged, allows her to release one ultra-powerful SUPER HEAL special move. and that’s pretty awesome. basically I think this quirk gets too much hate and not enough credit for the additional menu options it adds to the story. it’s interesting and compelling and I can’t wait to see what Horikoshi does with it.

4. Dark Shadow (Tokoyami)

TOKOYAMI WHY IS YOUR QUIRK SENTIENT. Existential Crisis: The Quirk. do quirks have souls?? if you shot Tokoyami with a quirk-be-gone bullet would Dark Shadow fucking die??? if Tomura absorbed Tokoyami’s quirk would Dark Shadow grow out of his back and be all “hey um, who the fuck are you”?? and would Toko’s head turn back into a normal human boy head?? would Dark Shadow look like Tomura instead of a bird shadow?? what even IS Dark Shadow, actually?? obviously it is not just a shadow because shadows can’t punch people or shield people from attacks or pick people up and fly them around. but yet he’s afraid of fire and grows weaker in daylight?? is Tokoyami secretly the strongest character in the entire series?? is there any way I can possibly justify putting this quirk all the way down at #4 instead of #1 where it clearly belongs?? let me answer that question by not answering it and moving on.

3. Explosion (Bakugou)

is the fix in?? is “exploding hands” really a better quirk than a fucking sentient monster man who lives in your belly button and reads your mind and is made of ~darkness energy~ and is your best friend? apparently the answer is yes! to both of those questions. yes the fix is in. I love Kacchan and his quirk is fucking awesome okay. it just never ceases to amaze me how this one single quirk, which really only does one thing, is nonetheless so spectacularly powerful that it allows Bakugou to compete on the same level as the fucking protagonist with all of his godlike super-strength and Main Character Powers and wacky SIXQUIRKS!! shenanigans. in my opinion the coolest thing about Explosion isn’t even its firepower; it’s the way Bakugou’s adapted it to fly around and to boost his speed. I think he legit may be the fastest character in the series right now, or close to it. he’s faster than Iida and Gran Torino and Endeavor. he can keep up with Deku without breaking a sweat. and he knows how to use that speed, thanks to his insane reflexes. add in the fact that this is also without a doubt the most cinematic quirk in the entire series, and I think I’m justified in putting it this high up. and anyway I still put two others up above it so shh.

2. Search (Ragdoll/Tomura)

Hey, What’s That Guy’s Deal: The Quirk. I just really love this one you guys. it’s so fucking useful. Video Game HUD: The Quirk. one hundred people at a time?? locations and weak points?? works even when you’re not looking at the person anymore and have blinked your eyes, unlike CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE’S weak-ass quirks?? check, check, and check. is it any wonder AFO wanted this? plus it just looks so damn cool. the visual representation of everyone as little stars on a map. Turn On Location: The Quirk. okay look I feel like I’m doing a bad job of explaining why I have this quirk all the way up at number two. it just has this subtle badassness to it, and its introduction after almost two hundred chapters of buildup was just so fucking cool. maybe it’s recency bias?? I don’t even know; all I know is that I love this quirk and want to see more of it in action.

1. Blackwhip (Lariat/Deku)

listen, I was obsessed with this quirk back when it was called “Venom” and was by far the absolute coolest part of the 1990s Spider-Man cartoon series. I’m not just going to suddenly not be obsessed with it just because fandom is mad that Horikoshi gave Deku an additional power beyond just Smashing Stuff. Blackwhip is hands down the coolest quirk, guys. I’m sorry, it just is. it has the coolest name. it had the coolest entrance. it does basically anything you could ever want a quirk to do in battle. it grabs stuff. it Bloops. what more do you want. you’re all just jealous because you wish that you could Bloop too. I know I am. I wish I had a Bloop. anyway so yeah, Blackwhip is the upgrade to Deku’s fighting style that we desperately needed after 200+ chapters of Delaware Smashes and Broken Bones. all his fights are cooler now. he can save more people! he can fight without instantly dying! plus you just gotta love powers that occasionally explode out of control if their user gets all emotional and pissed off about the fact that you insulted his boyfriend. so yeah. Blackwhip at number one! on this list of favorite quirks. not best quirks!! jesus christ. please don’t kill me I have a family.

so that’s my list! all 3000 words of it. how does this keep happening.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha meta #bnha ranking #bnha top ten #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

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lifeofroos · 4 years

Text

ToN spoilers!!!!!!!!!!!

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Nobody else did... so I guess I had to do it myself.

Nico’s first therapy session fanfiction, let’s go. I might write more in the future.

This might be crazy

When I woke up, there was a juice box on my nightstand. At first, I figured it was Wills’ doing. An attempt to get me to consume more calories. Yet, that just did not feel right.I sat up and pushed my curtains aside a little. Outside, it was still pitch black. Alright, now I was absolutely certain that Will was not the one to put the juicebox on my nightstand. When healers do not have a night shift, they tend to sleep as much as they can.

I thought about the dreams I had had that night. I was at an amphitheatre and I could hear people talking, but nothing really happened. It was nicer than my usual dreams, which always seemed to come straight out of a Stephen King novel. The amphitheatre. What the hell, it was worth a try. I climbed out of bed, picked up the juice box and walked out the door (I had forgotten to take off my regular clothes when I went to sleep. I wasn’t wearing shoes, though - I regretted that when I was just too far away from my cabin to get them anyway).

The campfire flared up a bit when I got close enough. Someone was sitting on the first row, near the flames. I sighed deeply when I noticed two glowing, purple eyes. Hell, help me. ‘Nico Di Angelo.’

‘Sir.’

‘I asked you to come to the Big House a couple of times, and you never did. I figured you might come if I added some mysticism.’

I tightened my grip on the juice box. ‘So you laid a juice box on my nightstand in the middle of the night. A box of…’- I looked at the carton - ‘Demeters’ Divine Orange Juice.’

‘It can be whatever you want. I can give you apple juice or pear juice, if that makes you comfortable.’

I looked at the box. A little grin grew on my face. ‘Can it be dragon fruit juice?’ He sighed deeply. ‘Whatever.’ The picture of an orange on the juicebox changed into a picture of a dragon fruit. I put the straw into the box and took a sip - it tasted weird, but weird in a good sense. I sat down next to Dionysus.

‘Whatever Will said, it is not true.’

‘I sensed myself that there was something wrong. Although your boyfriend did tell me about your issues as well.’

I stared into the flames. They were slightly grayish. ‘I feel… fine enough.’

‘That’s not feeling good, though.’

‘It’s feeling good enough.’

‘It isn’t. You deserve to feel better.’

I took a swig of dragon fruit juice. ‘Children of Hades do not feel happy. They never have.’

‘I know for a fact that you just repeated what everyone else was saying. Because Chiron does not teach old myths about Hades’ children. Because not a lot of them survived. The myths, I mean.’

I kept looking at the flames. ‘What problems do I have then, that should and could be fixed?’

‘Well, you tend to summon skeletons when you get upset, for one, and you tend to zone out during activities, and...’ the god of wine probably had a lot more interesting things to say, if it wasn’t for the fact that my juice box was empty, but I kept sucking on the straw, so that the god got interrupted by the weird slush-sound an empty carton makes. It worked for a few seconds, until Dionysus magiced more juice into the box. The next moment I had a mouth full and almost choked. I coughed loudly. ‘Be careful,’ was all the nearby god had to say about it.

When I could breathe again, Dionysus sighed deeply. ‘You need to stop messing around, Di Angelo.’ I sighed and looked at the seats. Will had encouraged me to seek help. I might need it, even, I could agree with that. But this felt ridiculous. I wasn’t insane. ‘Just take as long as you need. If you come up with something, just tell me.’

I don’t know how much time I took. I paced around the campfire and jumped up and down the first row of seats, trying to think. When I got back to Dionysus, he was reading a few documents that looked important. However, he put them away when he saw me. I sat back down. Another juice box appeared. ‘The voices,’ was all I said, while I picked up the juice carton.

‘In your head, I assume.’

‘Those. They… I don’t know. They don’t sound human.’

‘Well, they aren’t.’

‘I mean… I think they are from the Underworld.’ I had no idea why I was telling him that. Yet, I had not told him about…

‘Are we talking about the regular underworld, or Tartarus?’

‘Sorry for the rough question, Di Angelo, I did not mean to immediately ask something so difficult and personal.’ Dionysus stared at me. He clearly meant exactly what he had asked.

‘...Alright, tartar sauce.’

‘Tartar sauce?’

‘Who is the one going around telling everyone names have power?’

He actually smiled. ‘Touché. Tell me what you want to tell about it.’

‘I do not think it’s… monsters.’ Did I not? ‘It might be… I don’t know.’

‘Divinities?’

‘Could be. They call out to me. They tell me to… they don’t exactly tell me to come to them. But they don’t tell me to stay away either, if you understand that.’

‘Hm. But you do think that they are outside forces?’

‘How about you try to slap them out of my brain and if they are still there, we can be certain of that.’

‘That’s not how it works.’

‘Hm.’ Useless. ‘But I do certainly think there is something out there giving me these messages.’

‘That would make it one of the most important parts to not let the voices, what or whoever they are, make you go crazy.’ No brainer. Although I must admit it is difficult. I took a few sips of dragonfruit juice. The carton would not empty out this time, so that I could block this whole therapy session out with a slushing sound - I figured Dionysus made it bottomless. ‘Probably.’

He was silent for some time. I put my juicebox down. ‘How do I not become crazy?’ It felt like he wanted me to ask something like that. Maybe not exactly the way I worded it.

‘That is what we are going to figure out.’ He smiled at me again. ‘Is there anything else that might be bothering you?’ I did not immediately respond. The voices that were bothering me now reminded me of different voices - those of Otus and Ephialtes, which I could constantly hear while I was locked in their iron jars. The voices had gotten into my dreams, even now, more than a year after the incident had taken place. ‘It makes me feel… trapped. The voices, I mean.’

‘Can you yourself think of a concrete reason for that?’Yes, yes I could. Except that that reason made me almost cry and him asking that made me angry. And so I said nothing. ‘Too much for this session?’

‘What a concrete observation. I could not be so concrete’

‘The voices were already quite concrete.’

‘Maybe.’ I brought the carton to my lips again. I took a sip, but it tasted a little bitter. I heard Dionysus take a deep breath. ‘What do you think about continuing next time?’

‘I said almost nothing!’

‘Not a lot of words, no. But you very clearly told me about one of the big issues you are having. That takes a lot.’ I realised I had emptied out the juice carton. ‘Will I find a new one when it is time again?’

‘Perhaps. Now go back to your cabin before you act like one of your zombies tomorrow and Chiron blames me.’

Chiron would probably blame Will, I thought. However, taking a nap sounded like a good idea. ‘Alright then.’

‘Sleep tight.’

‘Yeah, you too.’ I walked away from the campfire. When I looked around, Dionysus had vanished. I could, however, see a woman sitting close by the flames. She smiled, which made me feel warm inside. Alright, therapy was scary. Therapy with the god of madness seemed like… well, madness. But perhaps it could work out, if I gave it a shot.

#Nico di angelo #trials of apollo #tower of nero #Dionysus #Dionysus pjo #pjo #percy jackson #fanfiction #writeblr #fanfic #writing

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harryspet · 4 years

Text

his to keep | j.jk

[WARNINGS] dark jungkook x named oc, toxic/abusive relationship, pregnancy, kidnapping, panic attack, super angsty, jungkook being a piece of crap, basically yandere jungkook

A/N: I just wrote this because I was feeling angsty. I also like to imagine Jungkook as if he wasn’t an adorable human lol. If you are triggered by the things about PLEASE DO NOT READ. Most of my fics are smutty but this one isn’t as much and I still like it. I might be able to do a part two with this one if people like it.

In which she finds out she’s pregnant and decides it’s time to escape her toxic relationship but Jungkook decides he’ll do everything to keep his family together.

Please like, reblog and let me know what you think!

word count: 3k

Everyone wished they were her. Even if the world didn’t even know she existed, people all around the world love to have what she had with Jungkook. Not the love they say they have for all their fans but passionate and romantic love. Obsessive love.

Eun-sun had met Jungkook because of a chance encounter. She worked at the counter of the tattoo shop he randomly stopped by one day. He was with a small group of friends and, dressed down, she didn’t immediately recognize him. It wasn’t until one of his friends had said his name that she realized one of the most famous men in the world was standing in the same room as her.

She played it cool, of course, or at least she tried to. Her heart pounded as she went to retrieve the artist that they had requested.

He seemed to single her out though and he only looked at her as his friends flipped through a book of designs. He leaned against the counter and asked her coolly, “You don’t have any tattoos?” It was the summer and her arms were completely bare so he could tell.

She shook her head, her eyes a bit wide, “Not your thing?” He continued and, for a moment. Eunsun thought he was actually interested in her.

“The permanence … it kind of scares me,” She admitted, trying not to sound nervous, “I suppose that’s not what you want to hear from a person who works at a place like this.”

Jungkook smiled at that and, like the whole world, she was entranced by it.

She worked here in order to help out her family who were struggling to make it in the city. They owned a small convenience store where she usually worked later at night.

“No, you make a good point. There has to be some voice of reason here to keep people from getting stupid tattoos,” Eunsun blushed and one of Jungkook’s friends called for him.

He smiled at me one more time before walking back over to his friends.

Eunsun didn’t know it but, in that short moment, Jungkook had decided she was worth it. Worth letting her enter his crazy world.

She initially said no and that it was a crazy idea for her to come with him around the world. She insisted she’d only be a burden to him and that she had responsibilities back in Korea that she couldn’t leave. He only insisted, deciding to make a deal with her, he’d help out with finances if she agreed to give him company on the road.

She explained that she wasn’t a prostitute and he only laughed, “Of course you aren’t, just trust me, please.”

And she agreed because he was so damn convincing but she insisted he not give her more than the money she was already earning. Jungkook never told her that he had given her parents way more than that.

Although he didn’t really present himself to the world as powerful, Jungkook was practically a prince. Every moment of his day was planned and his every wish was granted. It had become normal to him at that point but she noticed the craziness of it all.

Eun-sun had never been on a plane before but now she was traveling everywhere on a private one. She had to wear a mask constantly and soon learned she wasn’t allowed to walk with Jungkook in public. He introduced her to one of his personal assistants and she was to simply act like she was a part of their entourage. All though she became friends with his assistant, she never really felt like she belonged in his world.

It wasn’t like he could claim her publicly and she wasn’t his girlfriend anyways.

When Jungkook wasn’t working, he was with her. They talked so much that some of the makeup artists grew frustrated with her because Jungkook could never sit still anymore.

She met all the members of the famous boy group and it amazed her how naturally they tried to include her in their family. Some of the boys had their own partners and some didn’t seem like they dated at all.

Things were exciting constantly and Eun-sun loved the workings of his complicated world but there was a moment where things shifted.

A panic attack.

She had never seen someone have one and, honestly, she wasn’t sure what to do when she entered his room one night and found him on the floor trembling. His hand clutched his heart and for a moment she thought he was having a heart attack. She ran to him kneeling beside him, “Jungkook-” He was breathing so hard, hyperventilating.

“Jungkook, please tell me what’s wrong,” She whispered, her voice shaky.

He was crying, choking on his own sobs as he started to roughly grab at his hair. She grabbed his hands, pulling them away from his face, “Jungkook, it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay,” She spoke calmly, trying to get him to look in her eyes. She was holding back her own tears after seeing him like this, “Breath, breathe.”

He was still crying but his eyes finally met hers, and he started to breathe. It seemed he would lose his progress every now and then as he remembered whatever was freaking him out. As he began breathing again she said, “You’re doing such a good job. You’re so strong. Just breathe, please. Tell me what you need.”

He looked over to a black bag across the room and she understood. She crossed the room and began to look through the bag. She found a prescription bottle and began reading until she realized it was anti-anxiety medicine.

She emptied the correct amount onto her hand and found a bottle of water in the mini-fridge. She hurried back to him and got him to put the pills into his mouth. She held the water bottle as he began to sip from it.

He was still shaking and sweating all over but she held him as he started to calm down, “You’re okay, Jungkook. I know it’s scary but it’s just a feeling. You’re doing such a good job,” They sat on the floor in front of his bed and he rested his head on her lap as he tried to control his breathing.

She ran her fingers through his hair and he finally got some well-deserved sleep.

When the doctor came in the morning, he refused to let Eun-sun leave despite the advice of his managers. She was already there for him and he didn’t want to hide this from her. The constant pressure of having to do his best to impress his fans had caused the panic attack. Eun-sun was the one who convinced him to sit out for the next two tour dates.

She slept in his room from that day on and their bond only grew from there.

Eunsun liked baking, she was actually great at it. Jin had even said that he wanted to open a bakery with her one day. Knowing Jin, that could be a very real thing to happen. She enjoyed when they stayed in houses and not hotels because she could utilize the kitchens.

She had perfected her Japanese mochi ice cream and she was ready to serve it to the boys for their dinner. Most of them were out on the terrace, having finished their dinners, and were sitting around the fire. She was delicately placing the desserts on a plate when she felt someone brush behind her.

She was about to lean back into the person until she realized it was Minho, their personal trainer, and she immediately blushed and bowed her head in apology, “I’m sorry, I thought you were Jungkook,” she laughed nervously.

The muscular man only smirked, leaning against the counter with crossed arms, “You’re very smitten with each other, aren’t you?”

“Uhm,” She opened her mouth, trying to find something intelligent to say, “You could say that.” She felt his eyes burning into her and she moved quicker, trying to get the food onto the platter.

“Wait, did you check with the nutritionist about those? The boys are on strict diets.”

She turned around to face him, her mouth in the form of an ‘o’. “Oh, I didn’t mean to interfere. It’s fine, I can just-”

“I’m kidding,” His lips pulled into a smile, “They eat whatever they want most of the time.”

It seemed he expected her to laugh so that’s what she did, trying not to create an awkward silence. She lifted the platter and said, “Would you like to try one?” He nodded, plucking one off.

“Eun-sun,” She turned to see Jungkook staring at them from the screen door that led outside. She had never seen that look before, disgust, and it not was not only directed at Minho but at her, “Everyone’s waiting.”

“Sorry,” She apologized though she wasn’t sure what she had done wrong. She didn’t give Minho another glance as she walked towards Jungkook, “I didn’t know everyone was waiting.”

Jungkook closed the door behind them, that dark look in his eyes. That night, as she shared her treats with all the boys, Jungkook didn’t say a word. She only noticed how his arm was always snaked around her, like he had to be touching her or she might flow away somehow.

He began drinking too, something that often helped with his anxiety. She noticed that he usually just melted into his own world when he was drunk and that’s what happened that night.

They stayed up talking and laughing until the fire burnt out and they all realized they had a plane to catch in the morning. Eunsun tried to help Jungkook up to his room but he responded harshly to her, “I can do it, I’m not drunk.”

Her lips pressed into a thin line and she tried not to seem hurt. She watched him stumble up the rest of the steps, “Jungkook, I’m gonna get you some water,” He mumbled some curse word and she turned away from him.

She retrieved a glass for him and returned upstairs to their room. She sat the glass down on his nightstand and turned out the light. Jungkook had already plopped onto the bed tiredly. She went into the bathroom and prepared for bed, putting on a pair of pajamas. He was still wearing his jeans when she walked out of the bathroom, “Don’t you want to change your pants?” She asked as she slipped in the bed.

He groaned as if she had woken him up, and then he began to undo his belt. She was silent, unsure of what to do because he had never undressed in front of her. She was sure he didn’t care because he was drunk and simply looked away, pulling the comforter over her.

Minutes later, the bed dipped beside her and she felt his body warmth against her. He pressed his front into her back, wrapping his arms around her. He still smelt of soju and it was starting to make her feel nauseous, “Jungkook, go take a shower if you’re going to do that.”

He ignored her and that’s when she felt the soft kisses on her shoulder blade. She flinched, the feeling so foreign, and pretty much nailed him in the nose in the process, “Aigoo,” he cursed, laying back.

Eun-sun turned quickly, hoping it wasn’t bleeding, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry-” She didn’t have time to worry anymore because he leaned up to kiss her. And she kissed him back.

He craved more, his fingers beginning to lift the fabric of her nightshirt, “Jungkook . . . you’re drunk and I’ve never even-”

He shushed her, “Let’s make each other feel good, okay? I need that and you’re the only thing that makes me feel happy these days.”

He pressed his lips to hers and, that night, she gave herself to him.

Despite the special night they had, Jungkook was hungover in the morning. They all sat at the breakfast table but Jungkook had his head down. Eunsun tried to encourage him to eat something greasy but he ignored her.

She was picking at her plate, talking to the boys, when she noticed someone was missing, “Where’s Minho?”

They seemed to go silent at that and all of them looked at Jungkook and then back at me, “I think he’s going home for the rest of the tour,” Namjoon spoke up though he seemed unsure of his words.

Jungkook lifted his head, grabbing his water, before saying to no one, “I fired him.”

Eunsun stared at him with wide eyes, “What do you mean?”

Jungkook sipped his water, leaning on the table, “I mean that I hope he never works another day in his life.” And the silence in the room was deadly.

Eunsun gave him an incredulous look but Jungkook didn’t even meet her eyes, “This is because of yesterday?”

“I saw the way he looked at you,” Jungkook sneered, “He should’ve known better, fucking creep.”

“No,” Jungkook snapped his head toward her and she shifted uncomfortably, “Y-You should no better. All he did was talk to me and you’re acting like a child who had his favorite toy stolen.” Eunsun stood suddenly, not wanting to argue anymore in front of everyone.

She walked away from the dining room, “Eunsun, come back here!” She didn’t and it wasn’t long before she heard glass shattering against the wall.

“Eunsun, please open the door. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for getting so angry.”

“You don’t understand, Eunsun, it’s because I love you. And I’m just stressed from the tour.”

“Please, can we just be alone together and talk?”

“I know it was wrong what I did. You have to forgive me. You have to let me make it up to you . . . I don’t think I’ll make it through this without you”

She stayed for happy moments. For getting to watch him perform in front of thousands of people. For seeing him laugh so much in all his American interviews. For the nights spent watching movies. For the photos taken while sightseeing. For the sex when he was sober. For being known as Jungkook’s girl to everyone on the team.

But it only lasted two months.

Because of the night he got into a physical altercation with a staff member who had made a snide remark about Eunsun being a whore. The man’s face was unrecognizable after Jungkook released all his anger into him. He defended her but he became a monster when he did.

He had to be taken to the hospital because of how bad he bruised his knuckles. Eunsun didn’t go with him and he almost started another fight trying to get to her. Luckily, his members convinced him to go without her. She returned to the hotel with a test given to her by one of the makeup artists.

She took three and each one had those two double lines.

By the time Jungkook got back to the hotel, she was on a plane back to South Korea. And she and her family had plans to disappear as soon as she landed.

“You always do this. You’re overreacting. Answer your phone. I love you.”

“This isn’t funny. You’re supposed to be my girlfriend. I love you.”

“I’m just trying to protect you, Eunsun. It’s because I love you.”

She didn’t want him, at first. But as her stomach grew rounder and she felt his kick, she fell in love. Even after she first saw him in the hospital and realized how much he looked like Jungkook.

Her Junghoon.

The small town they moved to had a bakery and Eunsun made her living in the day by making deliveries. She hoped one day they’d consider giving her a spot in the kitchen, even if it was for washing dishes. Her mother stayed home to watch Junghoon and her father worked most nights.

She returned home one night with a cake to celebrate Junghoon already being five months old, but, as soon as she walked through the door, the cake fell right to the floor. Her mother was standing in the kitchen weeping, one of his bodyguards’ keeping on her, and Jungkook was sitting in the small living room. Junghoon was in his hands being rocked.

The baby was silent as if he knew who Jungkook was.

Eunsun stepped into the dim light of the living room and Jungkook looked up at her, “He’s beautiful. He looks just like his Mommy,” Two of his bodyguards were in the small room too. They seemed to have dark intentions just like their boss.

“Let me hold him,” Eunsun spoke and then a gun cocked. She eyed the bodyguard across the room and there was a gun in his hand. Jungkook raised a hand to the man as if to say calm down. “Jungkook, let me hold him.”

Her lips were trembling now.

“I was going to let you go. I was. And then I found out you took a pregnancy test the day you left,” She was so close. So close. “I didn’t know until a month ago. You robbed me of knowing I had a son. I didn’t get to name my own sun. Didn’t get to see him take his first breath. And you were okay with that.”

His voice was laced with venom but he didn’t yell, only because his son was in his arms, “Why would I want him raised by a monster?” She spoke through gritted teeth.

“That’s what you think of me?” She nodded and tears began to swell around his eyes, “All I ever did was love you, Eunsun, and I will be in his life. We’re all going to be a family.”

Her heart stopped, “It’s too late for that.”

“If you want your parents alive then you’ll come with me. And you won’t fight it.”

“You sick fuck-”

“You stole Junghoon away from me, it’s only fair,” Jungkook moved closer to her. They were both crying but Jungkook’s were happy tears, “I’m sorry, Eunsun. We start fresh now. We’ll be a family.”

And they’d be as broken as families come.

My request are open! This is my first jungkook fic but I few more works so check out my # masterlist :)

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