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#and/or imagine everyone else going slowly insane
daisydoesfanfics · 2 days
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|Eternity|
Diluc, Alhaitham, Neuvilette, Zhongli x gn!reader
Description: In which you brought clarity to their life.
Genre: Romance, Angst (fluff if you squint)
Warnings: None (written in the character's point of view/first person)
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The word 'eternity' has always been so vague to me. Sure I know it means 'forever', but still. How can you claim that something is eternal if nothing is?
I've learned that life is a come and go cycle, people come, and people go. I've learned to live my life with no expectations. I don't get attached to anything or anyone either. That way, when disappointment strikes, I won't feel bad. It won't be difficult for me to let go. I make friends, acquaintances, but I've always kept them at arm's length. I lived every day like it was an obligation, not a choice.
But that was until I met you.
At first I treated you like everyone else. I didn't treat you harshly, but I just couldn't let my guard down. I felt myself warming up to your awkward jokes and warm smiles. So I tried to shut you out. Yet no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. You kept drifting back to me. And I slowly began to embrace you.
I enjoyed having you beside me. I enjoyed having your arm looped with mine as we walked down the park. You made the sun shine brighter and the oceans calmer. You gave me a reason to wake up everyday. You changed my life full of routines into a life full of unexpected surprises. And it felt wonderful. I felt alive for once.
But then again, life is a come and go cycle. You came into my life, and quickly you left. I thought that losing you would be cold and lonely. That my life would return to its boringness. It didn't. Sometimes, despite not seeing or hearing you, I could feel you. I question if I've gone insane, but no. It wasn't insanity, it was love. You inspired me to keep going. You drove me to find my purpose. You're the angel that whispers in my ear, telling me to do the right thing. And even if you're gone, you're present in my heart. It's been a while since you've left, but my love for you has remained the same, if not stronger.
So, I think understand now. Life is not forever. But love lasts an eternity.
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A/N: idk if i like this😮‍💨 but i'll post it for the sake of posting (also to make up for my almost one year disappearance) i feel like this could fit xiao too, and maybe geto but im not sure, still you can imagine this with any of your favorite characters! also in mu opinion, you probably died in the end so🥰 also lets pretend zhongli and neuvillette aren't immortal-
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demetris-cocksleeve · 9 months
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Hear me out:
Demon ruts.
Like imagine-
Lucifer getting so painfully hard and needy that he has to swallow his pride to press you to "Please! Please let him fuck you!" He's practically on his knees begging you. Bonus points if you play hard to get. If you manage to play your cards right, then he'll actually devolve to groveling on his knees, precum absolutely dripping from the head of his cock as he grabs at your hips in desperation. He always has to be the epitome of control, but he secretly lives for these times where he finally yields and lets you take the reins. A whole week of not having to worry about anything more than filling you to the brim? Yes, please.
You'll have Mammon going absolutely feral with the slightest brush against his chest or shoulders- He'll be so greedy for your touch that you won't be able to leave yours or his room; one of the other brothers having to bring food and water for you to consume during the small lucid breaks between his rounds of salacity. I hope your stamina is good because you're scarcely going to be let out bed for the next few days...
On the edge of practical insanity, Leviathan wants nothing more than to watch as you bounce yourself on his cock, the smack of your thighs against his pelvis being the most erotic thing he can imagine. He's nothing short of mesmerized by the jiggle of your thighs as you continue to slam down onto him. Mixing that with the purely pornographic expression and sounds you're letting trickle from your pretty lips has him bucking his hips into your with renewed vigor. He's almost envious for everyone else because they'll never get to see you like this. No, this sight is reserved for him and him alone...
Satan holds your wrists in a bruising grip behind your back as he pounds into you from behind; it's as if he's furious. Probably because he is- how dare you speak to that lowly demon? Don't you know your his? He's growling in your ear how "you belong to him" and how he'll "kill anyone for touching what's his". Your ass is red from the sheer force behind each thrust. You can't bring yourself to mind, though, not when the tip of his cock is brushing so deliciously against that special spot.
Your body molds together with Asmodeus in the most beautiful way. The lust filled air, hot and heavy as you work each other towards your crescendo. There's no work from Picasso or Van Gogh or Monet that can rival the pure art that is the the two of you during this week. He holds you just as close as you hold him as your hips roll rhythmically together. Hickies grace each of you in a constellation that traces out the testiment of you connection.
You're sticky with a mixture of sweat, cum, and all of the sweet drizzles Beelzebub used. He's grunting out the most obscene things you've ever heard as he rumbles about "how sweet you are for him". His tongue lapping up the remnants of the whipped cream he used earlier, the sweetness mixing deliciously with the salty, savory taste of your combined cum. His large hands holding you in place as he moves to lap up the bit of caramel still coating your aching slit. Don't even think about trying to shower- you're his for the taking this week and he wants to taste everything you have to offer...
It's the mixture of slow, deep thrusting and animalistic fucking that has you slowly losing your mind with Belphegor. The few hours of sleep you get are interrupted by his familiar weight settling in top of you as he slides home for the first time of many that day. The slow, tired rolls of his hips turn into rough thrusts that have his heavy balls slapping perfectly against your ass cheeks, the sound mortifyingly vulgar in the quiet early morning hours. His hands gripping yours in a way that almost makes this feel intimate in comparison to the carnal fucking that it actually is.
(I don't know what this is either... I wrote this instead of socializing at my family's 4th of July reunion 🥲🔫)
Reblogs are appreciated!🛐 Happy 4th to everyone who celebrates it🎉
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jingsyuans · 9 months
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☆彡.。.:* “and who takes care of you?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I take care of me.”
-> jing yuan & pregnant!reader (gn, afab body)
headcanons & snippets : very long post I don’t have the wordcount because I wrote it on tumblr </3
a/n: i am simple and small and love meetcutes but also imagining the idea of the character meeting a reader who’s a single parent lol
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When Jing Yuan first met you, it was, of course, by pure luck. Everyone needs to go grocery shopping, even the general. And with Yanqing effectively eating into his budget, Jing Yuan is forced to look at prices a bit more carefully than normal.
It’s not just about the money that’s spent, but also about discipline. Jing Yuan reasons that if Yanqing eats into all his allowance and can’t afford his own food, then he cannot just let the boy starve. But he cannot spoil him with lavish food, either. So Jing Yuan goes to the market with this goal in mind.
That’s when he spots you. It’s not exactly busy on the streets but it isn’t barren either, so Jing Yuan cannot fully explain why he saw you in the midst of the crowd. Perhaps your obvious condition caught his attention, along with the way you were carefully trying to bend over, kneel, squat, and various other attempts to try and get the apple on the ground.
It didn’t take much thought to stride over to where you were, wordlessly picking up the fruit and dusting it off on his chest. You audibly huff- not out of aggravation, it sounded more like relief as you slowly straightened your back with your hands on your belly.
“Thank you,” you say first, and then your eyes meet his and the surprise on your face is obvious. “Ah! General Jing Yuan!”
He cannot help but chuckle, handing the apple to you after assessing it isn’t bruised. “Yes, that is my name. But you do not work for me, so there’s no need for formalities.”
“Oh, well… still, thank you.” Taking the apple, you place it in the sack you carry full of other fruits and veggies alike. “Soon enough I’ll be able to do simple things like picking up my own groceries again. That’ll be nice.”
“You do look far along,” Jing Yuan comments, eyes dropping to your belly. “Do you not have anyone else to help you with groceries? I don’t want to assume, but usually I hear about how your feet can be sore at this period and walking around too much can be exhausting.”
You laugh- not exactly merrily, a bit more dry than he was expecting. “Right on both accounts! Yes, my feet are… rather sore. But I have to get used to it. There’s no one but me.” You seem to be fine, as lonely as your statement sounds.
And Jing Yuan assesses a few things in this moment.
Whoever you are, you’re on the last stretch of your pregnancy and you are doing everything by yourself. There’s obvious exhaustion in your features which means this is no easy feat and it’s wearing you down, which cannot be good not only for someone who’s pregnant but also someone who’s about to be a parent and needs all the rest they can get before the baby arrives. You seem to be resigned to your fate.
So, Jing Yuan makes a decision.
It starts with this shopping trip. He’s suave and charming as he takes the bag of goods out of your hands, smiling all the while he makes himself your new shopping buddy.
You’re reluctant at first, embarrassed, because surely someone so important doesn’t need to go out of their way to help you. But even you can’t deny that it’s insanely helpful when he reaches for groceries you need that are conveniently on the highest shelf- you wouldn’t have been able to get those things on your own.
You’re pretty quiet at first, but once Jing Yuan opens up to you about why he’s shopping and the difficulties he’s having with Yanqing- it gives the two of you a modicum of common ground.
Jing Yuan doesn’t seem to consider himself Yanqing’s father, but you can tell the instinct of one is there. The way he talks about his disciple is clear enough.
You give him a few bits of advice on how you’d personally go with disciplining him as well as rewarding him. You dont expect him to really do the things you say, but unknown to you, Jing Yuan takes mental note of everything.
Once the groceries are well done and bought, you’d think that the interaction would end here. But Jing Yuan is never one to leave a job unfinished, and he simply continues to walk by your side with your groceries in hand once the two of you leave the market. You come to realize yourself that he’s planning on accompanying you all the way home.
You don’t argue this time. You’re flattered and happy and willing to take advantage of his help now. Talking to the general was surprisingly easy once you got over the initial shock of it all.
You do underestimate him though. By the time you’ve made it back to your little home (which you’re also embarrassed by, sure that Jing Yuan probably lives somewhere with a lot more space and design, but this is what you have), your feet are aching and Jing Yuan must have noticed the way you’ve slowed during the walk back.
At the door, you’re ready to grab your groceries from him. But when you lift up your hands, he’s looking down at you, a soft pout on his lips that utterly surprises you.
“Let me put them away,” he offers, pout shifting into another easy smile. His tone is firm nevertheless. “You’re tired and need your rest. Sit down and I’ll take care of it.”
This is surely too much. But when you try to argue, it’s as if the man isn’t listening at all. He opens your door and enters your house like it’s his own! Leaving you staring and dumbstruck in your own doorway.
It doesn’t help that Jing Yuan flawlessly navigates your little kitchenette as if he’s always been here. The image of him blending into your home is strange and alien, but there’s not much you can do. You simply sit in your favorite chair and watch him until your eyes start to droop, and before you realize what’s happening, you fall asleep
And … when you wake, dinner is ready for you in Tupperware in the fridge along with a note.
It’s Jing Yuan’s handwriting. Telling you to take care of yourself and your little one, and a number for you to call if you ever need a helping hand
( part of you really thought it was his personal number, but once you gather the guts to call it, you realize it’s the number to his assistant. You could still get in touch with him this way, but you end up always asking for a knight to come to your aid instead, much too anxious to ask for the general personally )
You end up seeing Jing Yuan a few more times during the tail end of your pregnancy. Once during a walk in the gardens, another time when you were going out for tea, and then another, more vulnerable time, out in the gardens again but much later at night— fear shaking you to your core as you cried alone on one of the benches.
It’s impossible he would find you at such a time. But apparently the two of you shared your thinking spot-
(And you wouldn’t find out until later that these gardens were right next to where he lived, right in the tall building nearby that you’d always looked at in awe and wondered who lived there)
Scared, anxious, and oh-so lonely, you couldn’t help but cry to him when he offered his arms. How were you going to take care of a child all alone? What if you got angry and hurt it? What if you left it alone for too long? What if you coddled it too much and stunted it’s development that way?
There were so many things you could do wrong and you were convinced that you’d do them all.
“Of course you’re scared,” Jing Yuan would sigh in your ear, arms wrapped around you. The size of your belly makes embraces while sitting down a bit more awkward than usual, so he settles for one arm wrapped around your back, another gently stroking your belly. You’d told him once that it was alright if he wanted to touch- and he couldn’t really explain it- but he did want to. There was something about it that was so intimate and comforting despite the fact the two of you were still getting to know eachother. “It’s rational to be scared. You’re life is about to change in so many wonderful ways, and on the precipice, it feels like falling off a cliff. Predictability has been thrown out the window. But there are still many things under your control.”
“You can control the love and care the baby will have,” his voice is soothing and gentle, continuously lulling your anxiety to a slow, “the safe environment that it will grow in. Introducing it into a world of kindness.”
And though he isn’t nearly finished, your body is shaking under his touch. For a moment, he fears he somehow made things worse, before he hears the delightful sound of your laughter. He cannot help but lean back, eyes wide and a confused smile on his lips. “What is it?” Did he say something funny? While it wasn’t his intention, at least you weren’t crying anymore.
“You-“ you giggle, wiping your tears with your wrist, “my baby isn’t an it. You keep saying ‘it’.”
“Oh.” Jing Yuan chuckles, a slight embarrassment over his mishap making his cheeks flush just barely. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s- haha- it’s alright.” Not for the first time, Jing Yuan is rendered speechless. By you, your absolute beauty. It’s all he can do to simply sit and stare at you, taking in every delightful crinkle of your face and the sparkle in your eye (though you were still crying a little; maybe that’s why). “Jing Yuan…” suddenly, you maneuver slightly, taking his hands in yours with a smile. “Thank you. For all your help. I think… it would make me and my daughter very happy if you could find time to visit us again once she’s born. If you’re able to find the time.” You sigh. “I would love for her to meet you.”
Yes, it isn’t until then, warmth filling his chest and fluttering his heart that Jing Yuan realizes that he is so utterly in love with you. And he has been for awhile. Each of your meetings took a special place in his heart, something he unknowingly looked forward to every time.
Suffice it to say- there isn’t anything that would get in his way from meeting you again. You and your baby girl.
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angellayercake · 15 days
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How about a spicy prompt?? Terzo realizing the reader really likes his hands (tends to stare at them a little too long as he does random tasks, things like that). Take this in whatever direction you see fit. Thanks!
Oh you did it anon! You finally got me to write something about THE GLOVES!!! They make me crazy insane and I probably think about them far more than what is normal but there we go 🙃
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Terzo x GN Reader | NSFW | 1200 words
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
You twitch every time a sharp nail comes in contact with the desk. It’s not even the noise that is driving you to distraction. It is those damn gloves. And, well the hands that are wearing them. And by default the infuriating man to whom they belong. 
Why it was decided he needed to wear his full vestments for this particular meeting you do not know but in your mind at least you violently curse the person who insisted on it. It would be a lie to say that you didn't find him distracting on the best of days being so well acquainted with the capabilities of his dexterous fingers but there really is something about those particular gloves that melts your brain among other less appropriate parts of your anatomy. 
Usually it is manageable. Rarely does he wear them and even then you are only cursed with a glimpse from a distance, barely catching the sharp glint of nails and certainly not able to hear the quiet creak of the leather every time he gestures. Which damn his dramatic Italian ass is everytime he speaks.
 At Mass you fight to keep your thoughts on his words as much as you can. Rituals are so full of spectacle and performance it's easy to break your fixation. And official events are usually so stressful you don't have a thought to spare.
But today you are not so lucky. To call this meeting tedious would be under selling the situation greatly. You can't even remember what is about now, which is especially bad for you considering you are supposed to be note-taking. The visiting Cardinals had insisted on meeting with all the Higher Clergy to tell them something they deemed very important but that was proving very dull for almost everyone else. 
Sister Imperator has the appearance of listening attentively but you can see the glaze over her eyes, probably thinking of all the other actually important things she could be doing with this time. To her right Cardinal Copia sits in a similar position to you, notebook and pen in hand, yet every minute or so his grip loosens as his eyelids droop and it's only the dropping of his chin or the pen about to fall from his hand that jolts him back to wakefulness. To her left, Papa Nihil has given up all pretence of paying attention, slouching back in his chair and snoring quietly. 
And then there was Papa. Your Papa. Initially he had tried to engage the visitors with his usual charm but even he had not proved a match for their dreary topics of conversation. So he had taken to torturing you instead. Ever the attentive man he had cottoned on quickly to the way your gaze was drawn to his hands with every flick of his wrist and now seemed to be doing his damnedest to keep them centre of your attention. Which was hardly a challenge. 
Every time he flexes his fingers you watch the leather strain to accommodate the movement of his impatient tapping. They are so tight they fit like, well, a glove, but more indecent somehow. The skin tight leather and the glinting pointed tips elongating his fingers perversely until all you can think about is the way they would feel against your skin. The cool sharp scratch followed by the soothing soft warmth. He likes to tease, to push you to your limits and then further still until all you can think about is him so you can easily imagine how he would start. Seemingly innocuous touches as he slowly peeled away your clothes only to reveal how much the barest touches of his gloved fingers had ruined you.
Suddenly he flattens his hands on his desk in irritation, interrupting the drone of a Cardinal with an angry interjection but after a moment's shock you drown out their bickering taking the opportunity to admire the gloves openly displayed as they are. Careful lines of stitches fan from his wrist, the deliberate placement helping achieve the perfectly tight fit. You had watched him pull them on once, easing them over his hands and struggling to slide down the zip which follows the curve of his thumb and keeps them in place. Clearly still incensed by whatever they are discussing he gestures towards one of them palms up so you can follow the seam across his palm allowing for the movement of his thumbs. 
As precisely as it is sewn you can only imagine how it might catch your pebbled nipple if he were to palm at the curve of your chest as he explored you. Your skin could be left a criss cross of scratch marks as his large hands covered the planes of your body varying the pressure as a threat of something more, the possibility of him breaking your skin ever present. Perhaps they aren’t so sharp as that but a part of you wishes they were as you allow yourself to think about them sliding between your legs.
His finger tips would trace you meticulously, one wrong move and he could damage you severely, but isn’t that a large part of the reason you find yourself so drawn to them. The anticipation tinged with dread of the sharp sting of his claws only building the warm pleasure you feel. And for him, hopefully the power you would allow him to hold over you would only make him want you more, making the necessity of his slow, precise movements even more frustrating for the two of you. 
You realise somewhat detachedly that your pleasure would likely ruin his beautiful gloves. They are such an important part of his image, his costume that marks him as the dark and powerful leader but even then you think you would have no regrets. Not when you would feel the metallic nails grow warm against you or the leather slipping smooth with barely there friction due to your arousal. Perhaps they would survive, stained with the evidence of their effect on you, the scent of you lingering on his fingertips as a reminder of your sweet lustful sin.      
Sister Imperator stands, and everyone else follows her lead, signalling the end of this meeting and breaking your reverie. You risk a glance at Papa, daring to catch his eyes and he knows, he always knows when your thoughts have strayed to the sinful. It is impossible to look away from his smug expression even as his gaze drops down your body knowingly. Slowly, deliberately returning his eyes to yours he beckons you towards him. One long finger curling deliberately pulling you towards him, as inevitable as gravity. Until Cardinal Copia interrupts your line of sight and prevents you from stepping into his orbit. You are needed, urgently for some other pointless duty, the realisation that your fantasy is no longer about to come to fruition dousing your lust as if cold water was cascading down your body.    
Papa’s displeasure flits over his face before his expression shutters and he is back to business even as you are steered out of the room by the Cardinal. You spare him one last look and you can only hope the flash in his eyes and the quirk of his lips are a promise that if not now you will be his again as soon as he can get his hands on you. 
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sanjisluvbot · 4 months
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Isekai Yandere Strawhats X Black Fem reader Chapter 19
Masterlist
Previous
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It felt like the entirety of the last few months was a dream. Not being able to tell anyone about what you had experienced made you feel as if you were on the brink of insanity. You were back to the old life, not that you were angry, or sad for that matter. Your surroundings were just blurry and so was your mind. 
You didn’t pay attention to most things that were in front of you, that’s why it took you so long to realize that next week was thanksgiving. A part of you, the part that suffered and laughed with these people was still somehow stuck in that universe. You had read online a few years ago that prolonged time in another reality would make you feel every symptom you were feeling now, you ignored it. 
This wave of repressed emotions trampled you, it kept you stuck to the ground drowning in an abyss of confusion. “ Y/n I need you to go to the market adn buy the perishables for thursday and– are you listening to me?” knocking you back into your world you seen your mother looking at you in concern. Poor woman had absolutely no idea what was happening to you. 
Everyone around you noticed the change, they simply thought you were going through teenage angst or something else. You would laugh to yourself at times, imagine if they really knew of the turmoil you were dealing with. You would be dropped off at the hospital with quickness. 
At night you didn’t sleep the same, although you were almost always fighting for your life you were also accustomed to the sounds of the waves and the subtle rocking of the ship which helped you fall asleep. The night before thanksgiving you were forced to relive the events of what happened, as your cousin talked your ear off you slowly tuned out the noise when remembering the bone chilling statements of the strawhats. 
“ Y/n… if you leave you will regret this.”
Law was injured, he had been fighting both Luffy and Zoro to give you more time, the rest of the two crews were fighting amongst themselves while you were below deck of the polar tang trying to drown out the noise. The screams of your name were angry, betrayed, and vicious. Luffy shoved his way through Law stretching his arm to grab onto the ship, Law was quick though and used his ability before Zoro could strike him. You were hiding in his room with the door locked and his desk shoved in front of it, the two of you knew how much of a gamble you were taking. 
After agreeing that he would come with you and finally going through your plan you both silently agreed that maybe, in the future after Wano he would come. You knew that although it was unspoken that would probably never happen, you completely altered this timeline. This version of the one piece world was tainted by you in some of the worst ways, turning the heroes into villains that you seen them go up against and the villains that they’ve never even come face to face with. 
You wish you could have law by your side at this moment, and just as you were about the break down the door began to rattle on it’s hinges. 
“ Y/n! I know you’re in there, just come out. We can fix this, we can be as we used to. Don’t leave us.” Luffy sobbed. 
You quickly rushed under the bed. What a cliche you thought. You had to get serious now, it was time to go home and you weren’t going to let anyone or anything stop you. You were in over your head when you got here but you weren’t to blame. Who would’ve know that the people you admire the most would turn out to be monsters. 
When the door unlocked you were almost a memory, fading from this world and from the strawhast grap. Luffy quickly rushed under the bed trying to grasp at the strans off you, the anger in his body welling up. Law had slowly stalked in behind him with his infamous smirk, and Zoro was not too far behind. Angrily he dragged your feather of a body from beneath the bed, “ Y/n… if you leave you will regret this.”
Ashiver ran down your spine but you wouldn’t give himthe satisfaction of seeng you terrified for the last time. When your eyes fluttered yuou realizied you were back in your room, everything as it was and you decided to do the last thing in order to severe the link between that world nd yours. Without another thought you rushed around your room like a mad woman, scrambling for the bits and pieces you needed and when all was said and done you collapsed. 
When you came to it your mother was calling you and your cousin to run a few errands for her. The chill of the fall weather helped keep you grounded and you finally felt like you could fully enjoy their company without being lost in what should be forgotten memories. 
The next few months were a breath of fresh air. You were becoming whole again and life had more meaning than just escaping. You began speaking to people online about your experience, you put into a story. To others your story was fiction, a thought borne from the imagination plastered into the net for an online audience to enjoy. But to you, this was your life story, and you knew it would be far from over. 
The End… of chapter 1
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Authors Note: I would just like to say how grateful I am. When I started this series and this account I was at the lowest point of my life, I thought I would live in a never-ending nightmare forever until I started writing. I am so happy that so many people enjoyed this series and I apologize for stringing you along after maybe like the tenth chapter, I want you to know that although at one point I didn't really know what to do with this story anymore I fully put my all into every chapter. I am not a perfect writer but the comments of you all saying how much you like my story and you want more chapters gave me a breath of life that I desperately needed in order to continue. Thank you all and I hope you continue to watch me grow as a writer. - Symphony
Tags: 🏷️: @chaichaiiskai @mizzhellsingsstuff @herwritingartcowboy @axulaphie @toshirolovebot @futmblr @rhicambo @marim0cha @sasukeswife3 @mitskikinnie100 @alaurannara @angstylittleb1tch
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jester089 · 5 months
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I have a request for the tdac characters to fall in love with child reader(platonically) and basically be attached to them like their younger sibling figure, and now imagine the reader starts to slowly get insane in some way and abstracts, and they just watch in horror as they see their practically younger sibling abstract and taken away to the black hole(I forgot what its called), and they get out of character, I need some angst and out of character mfs
So young
Now I have done multiple things on this type of idea so it's probs gonna be really similar to some of my past works. I'll still do my best though. For future reference in requesting please specify if you want a oneshot or headcannons. I did a little of both for this one but it was tiring, so please specify.
TADC Crew x Child Reader Who Abstracts
You were by far the youngest in the Digital Circus. Out of everyone you actually enjoyed it there, it was colorful, safe, had plenty of things to do. And had people who actually cared about you. It was a place of respite for you after you're awful family. Well awful isn't the right word they weren't abusive or anything. Just neglectful. Caine was a lot like a weird uncle to you. Always had some kind of gift for you when he saw you and despite what he says you know he cares about you. You were just about the only person who genuinely enjoyed his little adventures and jokes so he ended up getting kind of attached to you. As much as an AI could at least.
Gangle more often then not wasn't around you. She didn't avoid you or anything but she didn't go out of her way to be around you. One time when her mask broke and you saw her crying you went to Caine to ask if she was ok. He explained as best he could to you that she isn't really sad, just her mask broke. So you asked Caine to help you fix it. A few hours later you're at Gangle's door with a fixed mask in a present box. Once she saw that you of all people, the youngest one here went out of your way to help her she started to warm up to you.
Zooble most definitely didn't enjoy being around you Lies. She always acted like you annoyed her and she wanted to be anywhere else. But the few times you two have been alone she's surprisingly nice. She taught you how to make a paper hat one time then for the next few weeks you were never seen without one on.
Kinger took on a much more loving approach with you. He saw you as young and in danger and with no one to guide you. And if you were just left alone Jax would probably swoop in like a vulture and corrupt you. So he half took you in and did his best to raise you and teach you. It was hard as their isn't anything for learning in the circus but he did his best. It annoys him to no end when he hears a censored word come from you only to learn that Zooble's been teaching you swears behind his back.
Ragatha did her best with Kinger to raise you so you had some kind of future ahead of yourself. Despite the fact that they no one ages they still want you to be prepared. She took on a very "over protective older sister" kind of way with you. You're young, weak, and gullible so she's constantly worrying about you. Enough for her to set up a bed for you in her room. Plus side is she'll read you bedtime stories.
Jax's sole goal since he found out Kinger and Ragatha were teaching you and keeping you away from him is to taint you. Whenever you're left alone he kind of just appears and offers you something fun to do with him so you'll follow him. He has fed so many lies to your malleable young brain. Like "Hey kid. Did'ja know that Ragatha loves centipedes? I actually caught one earlier today. Why don'cha give it to er?" so naturally you did. You got grounded for that. Pomni is the one you feel closest too. You're innocent and kind nature help her keep calm(er). And her being around your height makes you feel more comfortable around her so you're always seen dragging her around to do something silly. You help her look for the exit, kind of. Your different way of seeing the world has helped her find many things out though. Did you know that their's a secret building at the bottom of the the digital lake? She only found it cause you mentioned said something about Atlantis while swimming then proceeded to dive under the water scaring her.
All of them started to get worried when your usual energetic and optimistic self started to act tired, all the time. Even someone as at your age who seems to be the perfect fit isn't immune to the problems the circus has it seems. When you started to get depressed it freaked Ragatha out causing her to be more strict with you because she didn't want to see you hurt. That only made it worse though. None of them take you abstracting well. Even Jax, despite being a jerk he ended up getting kind of attached to you. Cause no matter how mean he was you were always nice to him. "Wonder if their still causing chaos in the afterlife..." Caine being the ring master was always trying to cheer everyone up and get their mind off you but it never really worked. It slightly affected him too, not because he was attached to you. But because you were so young... "Couldn't even keep a kid alive..." Ragatha after losing you would either lock herself in her room staring at your old bed trying to decide on if she should or shouldn't take it down. It the only thing she has left to remember you by. You had your whole life ahead of you. But she ended up not being able to help. Just like with all those others... "Is it even worth the effort at this point. Am I even helping..." Kinger had already lost Queenie his S/O... Now you, the one he was actually starting to see as his kid. That is what pushed him over the deep end. You two his family, both abstracted. At least he'll get too see you two again... "I'll be there soon love, just have to grab Y/N's books..."
(Idk if this is good or at all what you wanted. But I tried. Hope you enjoyed it. Also if you all could please check my request rules before requesting. It would make my life much easier. Thanks. Also I kinda wanna re-write this without the abstraction part.)
xoxo, Jester
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msbarrybeeson · 2 years
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A/N: When the movie trailer dropped, I knew there are many opportunities for angsty fan fiction, so I kind of took one. Some of the dialogue is canon, everything else is from my imagination. Anyway, getting the characters’ "character” was a challenge. I’ll appreciate any constructive criticism to improve it. Enjoy!
Summary: Casey Jones is trying to warn them of their future.
Pairing(s): Rise! Leo X Reader (Established Relationship)
Reader: Feminine pronouns are used. No actual appearance, only mentions.
Genre: Humor / Slight Angst
Warning(s): Rushed writing. Written before release. Mentioned character death.
Word Count: ~840
~
“So what’s your business with our friend, pal?”
Casey slowly opened his eyes, groaning through the headache. The world seemed upside-down, but judging from the ropes tying his body to a chair, he got the memo. So he was knocked out and taken into the underground subway station. The human boy grimaced; the stench reeked here.
In front of him stood four mutant turtles, in addition to the presence of a sewer rat and another human. “Master.. Leonardo?” Casey murmured as he recognized the blue eye-mask and red markings.
“Hey, did you hear that?” Mikey gasped. “He knows your name!”
Leon smirked. “And he added a nice ring to it, too.”
“So Blue does mature after all.” Splinter scratched his fur.
“Great,” Donnie rolled his eyes. “Thank you for inflating his ego.”
“Guys, come on now—,” Raph began.
“Shh. Give a minute, hermanos, I’ve got a plan.” Leon announced with confidence.
All the voices blurred. Casey glanced around groggily, only to realize there was one person missing from the group. “(Name).... Urgh…. Where’s.. where’s (Name)?”
The group quieted down.
“Oho, skipping the introductions, are we?” Leon narrowed his eyes. He stepped closer to the human boy. “You got something against her too? …I’d let it go if I were you,” he threatened.
“This is what happens when random people jump straight to asking about his girlfriend before doing introductions,” Donnie remarked. Casey panicked under Leon’s glare, especially once he saw Leon pull out his katana. “Hey, hey!” Casey shook fervently. “Hold on a minute! It’s not—.”
“My hermanos, what do you think we should do with him?” The turtle pointed with the tip of his blade.
“Ooh, ooh!” Mikey raised his hand. “Give him a nasty haircut!”
Raph thrusted his fist forward. “We could use a nice punching bag.”
“Or here’s a better idea,” Donnie pulled down his goggles, doing a quick analysis of Casey, “how about I alter his brain, so we can remote-control him?”
“Pfft. Think we’ve scared him enough, boys.” April clapped her hands, making them drop the act and fall into laughter. Raph was snickering in back, seeing Casey all pale and shaken up. “Oh man, that was good.”
“Okay, okay, okay.” Leon wiped a tear. “In all seriousness, who are you, ‘cause we need to call you something other than— I don’t know, human guy?”
“...The name’s Casey Jones—.”
“Hold up, Jones as in Cassandra Jones? Never knew she has a brother,” April asked.
“Son,” he grumbled. God, how many times would they be interrupting him? “I’m her son.”
“Guys, I think he’s gone insane,” Donnie remarked.
“Careful, Don,” Mikey hushed. “Maybe he’s got trauma, and was put up with his sister being the mother role.”
Leon scratched his chin. “Seriously? Casey— I mean, Cassandra here— acting like anyone close to a mother?”
“For the record, I’m not insane!”
“Then, explain how you might be Cassandra’s son, when you’re just about her age.”
“Woah, Donnie, don’t tell me—.”
“That I took DNA samples from his teeth while he were knocked out? Why yes, yes I did.”
Casey shook in the air, which only had the rope swinging him from side to side. “Listen! You want to know how I’m her son? Simple answer is: I’m not from your time.”
“Huh?”
“...Is this going where I think it is?” Donnie covered his own mouth with his hand.
“I know how this sounds,” Casey cautioned. “But I need you to believe me, because I’m from… the future.”
Once again, everyone bursted out into laughter. In fact, even Splinter was amused.
“Y-you cannot be serious!” Donnie crouched over, dying. “That’s not possible!”
“Look, person named Casey,” Raph wiped another tear, “no offense, but if you’re trying to scare us, I can assure you you’ve got better things to do.”
“No! I’m trying to warn you guys about the future!”
“Right,” Leon rolled his eyes playfully. “And uh… how do we know whether we should take your word for it?”  
“Because if you won’t do something about this,” Casey’s face contorted in anger, “(NAME) IS GOING TO DIE!”
Noise slipped into immediate silence. Everyone stopped, eyes wide.
“Woah, woah,” Raph’s tone lowered, “You crossed the line there, pal.” The snapping turtle looked to his red-eared brother in concern. He found Leon clenching his hands and narrowing his eyes. “Yeah. There are other ways to get us to listen, y’know.”
“But you wouldn’t listen! And I’m not lying when I—!”
“Then, what are you talking about?!”
“Fine. Let’s start over.” Casey sighed, “My name is Casey Jones. In the future, an alien race by the name of Kraang decimated the planet. Master Leonardo gave me a mission: find the key and stop them.
When I arrived, I couldn’t recognize the place at all. Seeing Commander O’Neil, I thought she could the best person to start with.”
“What’s (Name) got to do here?” Donnie questioned.
“She—.” Casey hesitated, meeting Leon’s eyes. The red-eared slider crossed his arms. “Say it.”
“…She was killed trying to save Master Leonardo.”
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fcbfemeni-11 · 2 months
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Draft (Ashley Sanchez)
Olivia is dating fellow Spirit and USWNT player, Ashley Sanchez. The yearly NWSL draft breaks more hearts than anyone imagined.
Im currently in Portland with Sophia. I play for the Spirit but it’s currently off season so i am spending some time with Soph, one of my best friends.
“You excited?” Asked Soph as she sat beside me on the couch.
“For sure. We’ve got three first round picks.” I said.
“Trading Sam Stabb though?” Sophia asked me, looking at me as i sighed.
“Yeah, look, the whole system is messed up. I hate the whole trading thing. I don’t understand why we can’t just adopt a normal transfer policy like everyone else. I mean, you don’t even need to agree to the move here, if the club wants to trade you then they will no matter if you agree or not and it’s not fair.” I shrugged back. I’ve always had an open opinion on the way things are done in this league.
“I agree. Oh, look, it’s starting.” Soph said as the draft began.
I watched the first three before i rushed off to the bathroom. When i came back i stopped in my tracks as i saw Soph, sitting staring at me. The look in her eyes told me everything. Something had happened. Something bad had happened. I slowly walked over and she stood up, giving me a tight hug before we both sat down. She sighed, looking at me softly.
“What happened, Soph? Have you been traded?” I asked, chuckling at how stupid that sounded. Of course Soph hadn’t been traded.
“No. It’s Ash.” Soph said and my eyes widened as my jaw dropped.
“Shut up. Stop playing. You’re lying. She signed a new deal. There’s no way.” I stuttered out, grabbing my phone.
“She was traded to North Carolina for the 5th draft pick.” Soph stated and i immediately grabbed my phone.
“Who even decided that would be a good move? Ashy under Jona was going to be insane. She loves DC, she loves the club. We let her go in order to sign an extra rookie? Nothing against them, i’m sure they’re great. We already had multiple first round picks. I don’t even understand.” I sighed and Soph immediately put her arm around me.
I opened my phone and saw the official confirmation on Spirits instagram, i scoffed as i read the short goodbye. As i opened the comments they were full of Spirit fans bashing the club for this decision as well as people worrying about not only Ash but me and Trin as well. I decided to comment.
“You deserved better, Ashy.”
She does. She deserves so much better. She didn’t agree to this. I know she didn’t. It’s not fair. Will i get in trouble for my comment? Yeah, probably. Do i care? No. They broke her. They broke a lot of people. It’s stupid.
My thoughts were so loud, so loud that Soph tightened her grip around me. I was pulled out of my thoughts when my phone began to ring. I rolled my eyes as i neared it but when i lifted it up to read the screen and saw my girlfriend was face timing me, i immediately answered.
Ashy❤️
She was crying which made me tear up. This is so unfair.
“Ashy..” I whispered so softly as my voice broke at the sight.
“It’s okay, love. It’s all going to be okay.” She whispered, trying to not only convince me but also convince herself.
“Did you know? Did they tell you?” I asked and my girlfriend gave me a look as if to say it dosent matter.
“Ashy, did they fucking tell you?” I asked again.
“No. I didn’t know. I found out on Instagram. No one told me. I didn’t want to leave. I signed a new deal. This is my home, i wanted to stay.” She said, a couple of tears falling down her face.
“Unbelievable,”I scoffed,”I’m coming with you.” I blurted out. Sophia looked at me softly, she understood my heart break. Ashley looked at me like she always does, her eyes were full of love and i couldn’t help but smile softly at her.
“No. Liv, you’re not going anywhere. You have a contract until 2026, just like Trin. In two years you can leave.” She told me and i sighed.
“Yeah, a contract? You had one of those too. They don’t mean shit over here. NCC wanted me last season, i said no. I know they still want me. If i just tell my agent i want to go, i can force Spirit to trade me.” I stated, confident.
“No, Liv. You have a story to write here in DC. You and Trinity have not finished that story yet. You still have so much more to accomplish here.” Ashley said, softly as usual but i wasn’t convinced.
“None of that seems as important as it did when you were apart of it. Mine and Trin’s stories will never be complete, not without you in them. They played you, and i’m so mad at them. Me and Trin could easily come with you. I don’t want to be without you, either does she.” I sighed, tears finally spilling from my eyes.
“Soph…Help me out here.” Ashley pleaded with the Thorns forward who gave me a soft smile.
“She’s right. You love DC and you love the club. You don’t want to leave, kid. I know you don’t, and you know it too.” Sophia said, but she was wrong.
“You’re wrong! Both of you! I do love it here, it’s my home away from home and being here has given me the best years of my life. I’ve met so many amazing people here, who will remain in my life forever. But not wanting to leave? I have no desire to stay anymore. The organisation is messed up. They don’t care about us players, if they did none of this would have happened. Both you and Sam were traded without any warning. I don’t want to be apart of that.” I was clear in what i was saying.
“Jona is coming soon. You were so excited to play under him.” Sophia said to me and Ashley hummed in agreement.
“You were jumping around like crazy when he was announced.” Ashley added.
“I was excited, you’re right, but so were you. I would love to play under Jonatan. Look, i love DC so much. I love the fans and my Spirit teammates. Yesterday, i had no desire to leave. It wasn’t something that was fully off the cards, but it wasn’t something i was desperate for or looking for. Now, i have no desire to stay. I feel betrayed for you.” I told Ashley.
“Wait, Trin is calling.” Ashley told me.
“Add her.” I said and so she did. Trinity joined the face time, quite clearly crying.
“I’m coming with you.” Trinity said softly.
“I just had this conversation with Liv. No one is going anywhere.” Ashley said but Trinity had a look in her eye, one that told me she was being serious.
“No, Ash. I’m being serious. I forced a trade. I’m being traded to NCC, too.” Trinity said and Ashley’s jaw dropped but soon a smile formed on her face.
“Liv…” Ashley began but my mind was made up.
“No. I’m leaving.” I simply stated before leaving the group face time.
“This is it then?” Sophia asked and i nodded before hugging her.
“I love her. She’s my world, Soph. I need to be with her. She means more to me than anything in this world. This club betrayed her and i cannot be apart of something that does not respect the players. It’s crazy.” I said into her shoulder and she nodded, holding me close for a few minutes.
***
After a couple of hours, i was also traded to NCC. It wasn’t difficult really. I was pretty clear with Spirit and they basically had no choice.
After it was done, i joined the group face time again. This time with a smile on my face. Ashley knew as soon as i joined due to the smile on my face. As soon as she saw me she grinned.
“Any room for a third?” I asked as i joined while they were talking about apartments and both girls smiled happily.
“Great. Just when i thought i wouldn’t need to third wheel anymore.” Trinity teased.
“You’ll still get your own room, be grateful.” I joked back and she laughed.
“Olivia, i love you wholeheartedly.” Ashley said to me and i blushed slightly.
“Forever, Ashy. I love you, forever.” I said back and she gave me a soft smile.
***
Both mine and Trin’s trades were announced to the world that evening. It didn’t really come as a shock to anyone. I felt the need to put out a statement, alongside my goodbye. I felt the fans deserved an explanation because they don’t deserve any of this.
Spirit family…Wow. I have no words. Being here, in DC, has been extraordinary in so many different ways. These past few years have been the best of my life and i never expected it to end so soon. I would like to express my gratitude to the fans and my teammates for everything. This has nothing to do with you! Thank you, i’ll miss you all!!
Leaving DC was never something i desired. I signed a new deal because i was happy and confident in this teams ability, the later never changing. However, earlier today everything changed. I felt betrayed by the actions of the people higher up and my heart was broken. Some things are a lot more important to me than this game, so yes, moving to follow my partner was an easy decision especially after the absurd treatment she received from the club.
The ruled need to change for the players sakes. Our future is never guaranteed. Contracts mean nothing and this NEEDS to change.
“I don’t regret anything.” I sighed happily as i lay my head on Soph’s shoulder, content with my decision.
“I knew you would go with her.” She simply said.
“You did? How?” I asked my best friend who smiled.
“Livy, you are so lovestruck it’s incredible. You would do anything for her, and she would do the same for you. If the roles were reversed she would leave with you, that’s for sure. Shes your soulmate, the love of your life. She is the person you want to spent the rest of your life with, you want to be with her every single minute. The way everything happened opened your eyes. You need to protect her, you feel. I think you’ve made a good decision. Maybe this will hurry you up in putting a ring on her finger.” Sophia said, chuckling at the end.
“We have only been dating for 4 years.” I said, laughing.
“That’s a very long time. Shes turning twenty five this year, so she was twenty one when you started dating and, wow, you were eighteen. That’s a long time ago, lil sis.” She shrugged and i blushed. I then got up and walked away, going into my suitcase and pulling out a box. I walked back into the room and Sophia practically jumped up from her seat.
“Shut up!!” She screamed and i laughed.
“You’re doing it? When? Where? How? What? Since when?” The questions were flying as excitement overcame her.
“Since the world cup. We were talking about it, she said she wants to marry me sooner rather than later. I asked her what age and she said between 24 and 25, before walking away. She basically hinted at it and then i went and bought a ring. I don’t know what i’m going to do. Get her to come to Portland, make up a reason. We’ll go somewhere and i’ll ask her.” I said and Sophia jumped into my arms.
“Oh my god!! I’m so excited!! Shouldn’t you ask her to come, though?” She asked me.
“I’m not sure, Smith, guess you’ll need to figure out how to get her here.” I shrugged as i slipped the ring back into my pocket.
“You’re a real pain you know.” She said and i just smiled.
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faeismism · 1 month
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I Get This Feeling | Satoru Gojo | II
Part 1
summary: a cursed technique like yours requires a level of discretion, and you've managed to leave it undiscovered for some time. But your former classmate, turned teacher, is more attentive than you think. part summary: you're supposed to be mingling with the students during dinner, but you're more focused on evading Gojo and his invading questions. he knows a secret, and is keen on learning more. an: we're going to just assume that this diverges from canon because i just refuse to be unhappy in my fics. is geto alive? nah, but no one else is dead that's for sure. reader can't be touched which means i have to figure out how they're gonna fuck lmao great warning: afab!reader, she/her pronouns, alcohol, smoking, mentions of scent (i swear this is not omegaverse i swear) word count:
You’ve never been a wallflower. Back home, with your friends, you’re anything but shy and quiet. But you’re not home. You’re stuck in a large room with Jujutsu sorcerers and prospective students, and Satoru Gojo has kept a consistent eye on you. You nurse your second drink, standing in a corner watching as everyone else in the room greets and mingles with each other. Every time you look up from your drink, you catch him–you can’t see his bright blue gaze, but you know it’s on you, and it draws a shiver up your spine.
After he left your room, you were forced to deal with the unease that settled in the bit of your stomach.
You don’t know the consequences of hiding your abilities. It’s not as if you’re unregistered. Technically, you are a Jujutsu sorcerer–you learned with the best of them. You just neglected to mention a few key details about what you’re capable of. You just neglected to mention to Principal Yaga that you have a nasty habit of mimicry–that your cursed technique allows you to mirror your opponents own techniques.
You just neglected to tell them how much you hate it; that you’ve grown to fear someone else’s touch. That you’re afraid of what a stranger might be capable of–afraid of what you might mimic, and because of that you refuse to allow anyone within an inch of you. Your life is seemingly normal except for that one facet of insanity.
And you feel them–you feel every single sorcerer standing in this room with you. It hits you like a scent at first; curses reek, like vomit and shit and piss and it burns your nostrils. For sorcerers it’s like a perfume–some are soft, flowery, while others are strong, like an old man’s cologne. But Gojo–
Gojo is heady, thick. It overwhelms your senses, practically chokes you. The sort of scent that you can taste on your tongue, and you hate that it does something to you. Like a fucking pheromone–it was strong when you were students, but after a decade it’s just gotten potent. He’s across the room, but he’s on you. He’s filling you, and you’re suffocating.
You feel your cheeks flush, and with a shaking breath you quickly down the rest of your drink.
You can’t imagine the toll his techniques will have on you. Every waking moment in Gojo’s shadow is a reminder that he’s on an entirely different level than everyone else. Born with the Six Eyes and Limitless techniques, you know they’ll have a toll on you. You bless the infinity on Gojo’s skin that you’ve never been able to get close enough to get a taste of it. But today…
You still glimpse his fingers reaching out for you, tempting fate. He’s never been one to think about personal space or boundaries, but he’s never gotten a chance to push yours. So close–so close to cracking your resolve, your secrets. Your finger slowly traces along the rim of your glass, head clouded by him.
It won’t be easy, steering clear of him. The next few days are going to be torture, and you know him enough to understand that once something is in his head, he won’t stop until he’s satisfied his curiosities.
Fuck.
###
Gojo can’t place his finger on it, quite yet. You’ve always been teeming with cursed energy, that’s what allows you to see curses. Hell, it’s the reason you ended up at Jujutsu high in the first place. He’ll admit that during your school years, he didn’t bother to question why you didn’t have a technique. It’s not uncommon for someone to lack the talent and resources needed to hone one, and so he didn’t second guess it. You weren’t exactly frothing at the mouth to learn one, and Gojo needed to focus on his own abilities rather than some future window like you.
But now that he’s become a teacher, he’s learned to notice things that are out of the ordinary. Of course, he sees everything out of the ordinary; he’s never truly had to deal with surprises, which is why he’s thrown off by you now. Because he can see it, how weakly you’re manipulating your cursed energy. It’s not quite controlled, not like the others, but you can control it. It’s never been like that before, he’s never seen that on you, and now it’s a constant itch inside his head that he can’t get rid of.
He stares at that eb and flow of cursed energy that lingers on your skin, that seems to reach beyond when someone gets close. He watches as you talk to Shoko, a smile dressed on pretty pink lips as you catch up with an old friend. Despite the fact that his gaze is covered by cloth, he does catch you glancing at him, as if you’ve caught him staring somehow. But Gojo doesn’t look away, and instead stares at you with a lilt to his head.
If he recalls how you were in school–and, unfortunately, he does–it’ll be difficult to get the truth out of you. He might be the most powerful sorcerer alive, but you’re fucking stubborn, and he’s never been able to crack it. You’re not supposed to be difficult; you set yourself up to be ordinary and normal (as normal as a member of Jujutsu society could be). So why are you?
He watches you excuse yourself from Shoko’s company to grab another drink. You’ve made your rounds about the room, as much as you’re willing to at least. 
The only person you haven’t bothered to speak to is him.
He stops with his own conversation, offering a slight bow of his head before he leaves the cluster of sorcerers he’s been a part of. He doesn’t mean to pause and stare at you–for someone who claims to dress for the sake of modesty, he doesn’t really see it. It’s to be expected, the long-sleeved bodysuit that you tuck into your skirt, and of course the stockings that you have. But that skirt is too short, and he can see a slight gap between the hem of your skirt and where the stockings end. You wear those leather gloves again, and he spots the sliver of skin where sleeve-meets-glove.
Two points of contact.
You stiffen when he stands beside you, hovering over you like the tower of pisa, while you’re mixing your own drink. You don’t look up while you pour heavy on the vodka.
“What,” you say curtly.
“Not exactly setting a good example for the kids, are we?”
“Why bother setting up a free bar if I can’t take advantage of it.” You sigh. “What?”
“Well–” He leans in close, and he smirks at how smoothly you lean away. “Ideally, I’d like to continue our conversation.”
“No clue what you’re talking about.”
His turn to sigh, he follows closely behind you as you try to make your very conspicuous escape.
“Come on,” he groans. “There’s gotta be a part of you that wants to tell someone about it. Why not me? Your close personal–”
“You treated me as if I was beneath you. At no point were you one of my close personal friends–” You nestled yourself into a corner, taking a long sip of your drink before pointing a finger up at Gojo. He could see how you wanted to poke it into his chest, but you held back. “I wasn’t a part of your gang, or whatever, so why would I bother telling you anything about me?”
“That’s a two way street and you know it.” He looks out to the gathering, toward his new batch of students. He knows if he tries hard enough he might actually capture a glimpse of Itadori and Megumi’s conversation, but he’s become attuned to you instead. Despite the calm demeanor, your breath is unsteady in your chest, and your index finger taps softly against the glass you’re holding.
And your energy… it’s reaching for him, the way it did Shoko. It licks at the very edge of his infinity, and he chuckles to himself. 
“Seriously,” he whispers. “Don’t you wanna just cough it up a little bit? All those years keeping a secret like that all to yourself must’ve been hard.”
You stare up at him blankly. “There’s no secret, Gojo.”
“Yet your not-secret has been trying to grab hold of me the second I got close to you.” He chuckles deeply, flexing his fingers outward as if to close that distance between him and your cursed energy. “I think it likes me.”
“It doesn’t like–” You move away, skin flushing deep red. “Shut up.”
“What if I let it?” He asks. “What’ll happen if I touch that sliver of skin between your gloves and shirt and give it what it wants?”
He’s unbearably close to you now. He’s half-tempted to drop his infinity to see what might happen–though, considering how well he’s trained it, he’s surprised to find that it hasn’t dropped on its own. You’re not a threat, but it seems as if his technique has deemed you as one. His fingers don’t quite reach out for you, not entirely, but they do outline where your energy is at its heaviest. He casts a quick glance to the others in the room, unsurprised at their lack of awareness. He’s done what he can to make it look as if two friends are merely catching up.
“Or that spot beneath your skirt?”
How strong is it, he wonders. What’s caused you to keep such a thing all to yourself–what if he does end up touching you? That little itch in the back of his head has only gotten stronger, almost addictive with each passing question.
He hasn’t been this excited about something since Itadori swallowed that finger, or Yuuta… but it’s different from them. He didn’t know them before he discovered their talents. They weren’t hidden beneath his nose–you, you somehow hid this from him for an entire fucking decade. You–you looked Satoru Gojo in the eye and made him believe that you were beneath him. That you weren’t capable of reaching the same levels as him, or Shoko, or Geto–you had a secret, and he wanted to know it.
You can barely hide the confusion that begins to paint your features, or the smooth way in which you lean further away from him.
“Really can’t tell if you’re trying to get me to admit to something or if you’re just trying to fuck me,” you say confusingly.
He’s quite lucky you don’t see the sudden drift in his eyes toward that gap at the edge of your skirt, where he catches a glimpse of smooth skin. For a brief moment, Gojo doesn’t quite know either. You’re incredibly attractive–being this close to you, he catches the scent of your sweet smelling perfume, and the light sheen of your lipgloss on plush lips.
“The first one,” he answers coolly. “Second one isn’t off the table.”
You roll your eyes. “You’re so damn arrogant.” You do manage to pull your gaze away from him, opting to stare across the room while taking your drink. “Even if I have a secret, and I decide to tell you–what of it? What are you gonna do with that information?”
He didn’t think that far–usually, he does, but the anticipation of knowing has occupied his thoughts so much that he didn’t bother to consider what to do with that information. He clicks his tongue in thought, tapping at the wall above your head with an index finger, still caging you in.
“Even if you didn’t spend your days at Jujutsu High cultivating your talents, you still attended so you might not be labeled a curse user–”
You scoff. “Oh, that’s reassuring.”
“Morally, I’d have to tell the higher-ups about you. Sorcerers are few and far between, and I really don’t like being stretched thin with all these missions.” He muses, that finger on the wall ceasing its tapping to drag along it until it’s close to touching your hair. “That sounds so boring, and I think it’d be way more fun to keep this a secret between us.”
“Fun for whom?” You ask, looking up at him. “What’s the pay-off, hm?”
You’re teasing him. Still stubborn in every single way, and now you’re teasing him. Every drink you take reddens your cheeks, the tip of your nose, and you’ve developed a spark in your eye. Gojo ought to know better, ought to recognize that you’re not going to budge in the slightest. But that itch is getting worse.
“Come on,” he whispers. “You know that I can see it–”
The smirk is gone, washed away along with the teasing in your tone. You must have known; the extent of his own talents isn’t unknown to you. How you managed to surprise him is bewildering, but now that he has all six eyes on you, there isn’t an inch of your cursed technique he can’t see–he just doesn’t know the extent of it. Seeing it in action is the only way, really. He can cut the shit and just take control of the situation, grab onto some part of you that isn’t covered to see precisely what that volatile energy you wear can do. He isn’t afraid to do so, but he’s trying to be nice about it.
You glance down at your hand, then, to the leather gloves that you wear. That energy remains concentrated, and as your brows furrow, Gojo quickly surmises that you’re not quite able to control it. He can see it in your eyes, that glimmer of strength that barely causes a ripple in it. It still reaches for him, like a lover yearning to be touched.
That lover being him.
You clear your throat, finally forcing yourself to take a few steps away from him.
“Then do whatever you want with that information.” You tell him, “play your stupid games, or take the moral road. Just leave me out of it.”
###
You don’t give him another chance to speak to you at the party. You didn’t bother to keep tabs on him after you abruptly ended your conversation–honestly, going round and round and circles only forced you to consume more alcohol than you planned, and now your head began to spin, too. Whatever example Gojo teasingly told you to set for the kids had disappeared.
You lie in your bed now, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the spinning to stop. You’ve removed most clothing by now, except for the gloves. You always take care of those last–a final precaution before you go to sleep.
Despite being far away from Gojo, that scent still lingers.
You know I can see it.
Yeah, yeah, you know. Of course you know. The moment he mentioned how it sought him out, how eager it was to take a taste of what he has, to make it yours (if only for a short while), you knew. And that’s terrifying.
You lift a hand above you, fingers flexed as you twist it back and forth in your vision.
How long has it been since someone actually touched you? Sure, civilians have the lowest possible amount of cursed energy–least likely to trigger your technique–but you’ve never been willing to risk it. Dating has never… not once… been an option for you. Casual sex isn’t either. You’ve only ever known your own hands, your own touch. Yes, with the barriers of clothing, there’s some level of protection, but still. You never know. You don’t–
You don’t think anyone’s ever touched you.
You swallow down that bite of pain, finally slipping the gloves off your fingers with a sigh that’s pathetic even to you.
“You’re drunk,” you tell yourself. “And lonely.”
You grab your lotion from the bedside table, slowly rubbing the sweet-smelling cream into your hands. Leaning against the headboard, you find your eyes drifting to the wall between yours and Gojo’s room. Annoyance fills you, sure, but that tinge of loneliness is far more powerful, and you quickly fill your head with silly thoughts of what-ifs.
Second one isn’t off the table, he told you.
He’s, well–well, Satoru Gojo is gorgeous. You have to give him that, despite wanting to refrain from fueling his arrogance. Even during your youth you couldn’t stop yourself from gawking at him. You can’t deny that his beauty is so damn close to divinity–that those bright blue eyes of his practically demand a level of devotion and worship. He’s only gotten prettier since you’ve last seen him. There’s a small section of your brain that, as a kid, had hoped his good looks would diminish–that karma for all the times he’s teased and prodded you would catch up to him. But it didn’t, and now you’re drunkenly musing over that silver-haired pretty boy.
This is why you don’t get drunk. You do so well when you’re sober, ignoring that bout of loneliness–denying the truth that you’re so fucking touch-starved that sometimes you find yourself close to breaking. 
He already knows, you think. He’s seen it.
Maybe the great and powerful sorcerer, Satoru Gojo, can help you control it. Maybe, maybe you’ll never have to wear gloves again, never have to keep everyone away from you. Maybe you won’t be lonely anymore.
Maybe.
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queenofsimpsblog · 1 year
Note
You said requests were open soooo can I request a kind of Protective!Shuri x reader where the reader is so overwhelmed with her classes (or just one particular class - for me this semester it’s statistical coding as someone with NO coding experience, if you wanted to be specific) and Shuri, who’s already insanely protective, is comforting the reader? I can imagine Shuri just being so sweet, kissing away tears and in all seriousness telling the reader she “can drop the class right now” because if it makes her girlfriend upset, she doesn’t need to do it - Shuri’s the Queen of Wakanda, she’ll make sure they let you drop (to which the reader obviously says no - it’s a part of her major!). I just love it when people write Shuri as so attentive and protective instead of mean or toxic. Thank you SO MUCH if you write it!! I’m definitely requesting this fully for myself because it’s not even the second week of the semester yet and this coding is kicking my ass 😅 anyway thanks again if you do, no pressure if you don’t want to!!!
stressed out - shuri x reader
A/N: awwww that’s such a cute idea!! so sorry it took so long for me to write this… also i have absolutely no idea what statistical coding is like so i’m just making stuff up about it so sorry if this gets a little inaccurate
i added a bit of ✨spice✨ to the plot, hope that’s okay!
“code failed. please try again.” the robotic voice of your laptop taunted you as you groaned, rubbing your eyes.
statistical coding, in general, was a challenging course. even more so for people who had zero coding experience like you. but since the course was an important aspect of your major, you couldn’t drop it.
you were having an existential crisis at this point. your professor gave an assignment to design an algorithm to organise the medical files of your class, which had 150 people. the medical files were, of course, fake, to protect the privacy of everyone. the objective was to get everyone to more comfortable with organising several data samples. the assignment was kicking your ass.
beep.
your phone buzzed from your bed. you picked it up and looked at the notification.
shuri
hi sthandwa! we still on for today?
you groaned again. shuri planned a cute cafe date for you today. you were super excited until your professor’s assignment destroyed your friday night.
you
i’m sorry babe, gonna have to cancel
i don’t feel well
you hated lying to her. but it was just embarrassing to admit that you were struggling. shuri was the queen of wakanda, a genius. you already felt like you were inferior and weren’t enough for her. telling her you were struggling in a course she could probably finish in her sleep was something you’d never do.
you sighed and rubbed your eyes again, reaching for the monster can on your desk and chugged the remainder, chucking it in the trash can. cracking your knuckles, you pulled open your textbook to find the instructions for developing codes to organise large data samples.
about half an hour later, you heard a loud knock on your dorm door. you looked up and frowned. i didn’t call anyone over, who could it be?
you yanked open the door and saw shuri standing on the other side, looking angry.
“shuri? what’s up, why are you here?” you opened the door wider for her to enter.
“shouldn’t i be asking the questions? you tell me you don’t feel well, then you just go offline. i spammed you so much and you didn’t reply. i was so worried,”
“i’m sorry i was working,”
“shouldn’t you be resting if you’re sick?”
you sighed.
“fine. i lied. i’m not sick, i’m just busy,”
shuri scoffed at your words. “busy? you never lie to me sthandwa. what’s going on? is there someone else on the side?”
your eyes widened. “no! of course not! i was just doing some class work, alright? not a big deal. you can leave now,” you snapped.
shuri paused for a moment, realisation slowly hitting her. she noticed your locks looked messy. the bags under your eyes were huge. your skin looked pasty. and you looked incredibly exhausted.
you were stressed out.
“sthandwa, are you okay? and don’t give me some bullshit that you are, cause i know you’re not. tell me truth usana, let me help you,”
and with that, you broke down. sobs wrecked through your body as you collapsed on the floor, shuri quick on your side to hold you. you stayed like that, in her arms, for nearly half an hour. that’s when you calmed down and kept your gaze on the floor. you were too scared to admit to her what was on your mind.
“y/n, look at me,” she demanded softly. when you refused to move your head, she grabbed your chin for your gaze to meet hers.
“talk to me,”
you sighed and accepted your fate.
“i’m just stressed about my statistical coding class. my professor is an asshole that gives assignments all the time cause he thinks it’s helpful. but it’s not, cause he can’t teach for shit. and i’ve just been scared to tell you because…” you paused, not wanting to continue. shuri gently nudged you with her arm, which forced the words out of you.
“i just don’t want you to think i’m stupid. you’re a genius, and i’m just… average,” you sighed, tearing up again.
“sweetheart it’s alright to struggle every once in a while. i struggle sometimes too. my job isn’t easy,” she chuckled and you let out an exhausted smile.
“just because i make it seem like i understand very complicated things at the first reading, doesn’t mean that’s always the case. i think you’re wonderful. and you’re not stupid! not even close. you remember that one time i struggled to make this code, and you pointed out that it was because i added the numbers instead of multiplying them?”
you laughed at the memory. shuri smiled, knowing she was improving your mood.
“and you know, if it’s too much, you can drop the course. i can let the dean know. i hate to see my love overworked like this,”
“babe, you know i can’t do that! this is my major, i have to suck it up for the next couple years,”
“i refuse to let anyone make my princess feel like she isn’t worth it,” you swooned at her words.
both of you stayed like that together, in silence. it was peaceful. shuri’s presence had that effect on you.
she broke the silence. “okay, how about we take a little study break? go get changed. i’m taking you out for dinner,” you smiled and grabbed her shirt collar, pulling her into a sweet kiss.
oh, what would you do without your sweet shuri?
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nihyunluvskookie · 6 months
Text
His betrayal
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Seungcheol one shot
Pairing: Choi Seungcheol × Fem reader
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Gun, breaking of glass, mention of betrayal, please let me know if I missed any warnings
Word count: 1.2K
Author’s Note: This was in draft and I don’t remember since when, but this was also impulsive. Hope you like this, mafia Seungcheol.
LIKE IMAGINE HIM SO HOT IN MAFIA AAHHHH
happy reading :)
Taglist (networks) : @kflixnet @caratwritersclub
I just had one aim right now and that was to kill him right now, with the gun he gave me which had my initials engraved. I wanted answers, I couldn’t care less about anything right now. I ignored everything and went to his office.
I slammed the door open, and he didn’t even look surprised, as if he was waiting for me to come; he still had that heartless cold face. “What are you doing here?” I ignored his question and held the gun tight. I pointed the gun at him, “WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME?”
“I told you to leave and never come back ever again.” I couldn’t take his words anymore, the way he hurt me a few hours ago, I was ready to leave in grief but then the moment everything became clear, his intentions, his dirty tricks, and the way he used me just to gain power and take down my family. I couldn’t care less how much I was broken right now but I needed answers and I wanted to end everything. I’m not going to take his orders anymore, the girl who was ready to take orders from him and leave was long gone.
“WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME CHOI SEUNGCHEOL?” I never raised my voice at him.
“Put that gun down.” His orders weren’t going to work for me anymore.
“Tell me or else I’ll shoot you right now.” I wanted my tears to stop, but they weren’t. I wasn’t in my fucking right mind. How am I supposed to stay sane when he was my first for everything and he betrayed me just like that? How many times I told myself that I shouldn’t have trusted his words but I was the fool, who fell in love with him and trusted him with my everything.
“I’m telling you again, put that gun down.” His dominating voice was scaring me, making my body go through chills but I couldn’t back off. He could make me feel intimidated but not right now, I can’t let him make me feel that.
“Answer me or else I’ll shoot you!” I needed answers from him, why would he do this?
“Was none of these true?” tears threatening to fall again; I aimed at his window and pulled the trigger with all the force. The moment I heard the glasses break, I felt at peace.
“JESUS CHRIST, AZALEA PUT THAT GUN DOWN.”
“Not until you tell me everything, I will kill you and everyone today” I didn’t lie when I said that. I had my mind set, on shooting him first and not caring about any consequences, because I very well knew what his best friend would do to me if I hurt Seungcheol. Was everything a game to him? Was I a game to him?
As soon as I said, I heard footsteps approaching, “Are you okay?” I didn’t have to turn around to feel guns pointing at me and Jeonghan standing there as the head. One order from him and I’m done. “Don’t you dare to shoot. Leave, I’ve got her.”
The footsteps started disappearing and my grip got tighter around the gun; he was trying to take a step toward me, “Don’t take a step, or else I will shoot you Seungcheol. I’m not even scared of anything anymore. Not after you made a damn game out of me.”
“Azalea, calm down. Slowly, calm down.” No matter how much his voice tried to calm me down, but I wouldn’t; the rage flowing inside drove me insane. Everything turned upside down in a second.
The moment I found out his plotting, making me fall in love with him, manipulating me into telling him everything about my family and what is my dad up to, and he was going to destroy my whole family, take over the whole familia, and make our family go bankrupt, I’m not letting him hurt me and my family. I can’t see my mom and my sister crying because of this one asshole I fell in love with.
“It’s simple, tell me or else I kill you and kill myself right after that” I took a deep breath, “because you made a fool out of me” I closed my eyes to stop the tears remembering how I witnessed his conversation with my dad and then I felt a sudden force on my hands and the gun fell but before I could hold it, he caught the gun and twisted my hand. “I always told you never to be distracted when you set your mind on killing someone.” That’s when I knew I messed up. He pushed me towards a wall, still holding one of my hands, my back touching the cold wall of his office. He lifted my face using the gun, I was holding before; I wanted the tears to stop but the moment I felt him so close to me, it reminded me of the moments we spent together till today and everything turned out to be a lie, so that he could use me against my own family later.
He forced me to look at him, “Look at me”
“why would you do that!” I screamed in his face, I was hurt, I wasn’t okay, he had to know how much I hated myself for believing him and his lies, he had to know how much I regretted loving him and I wanted to hate him right now but the love I had for him could never compare. I didn’t want to break down infront of him but nothing was helping me out, not even the fully loaded gun forcing me to look at him. “I did this to save you princess” his voice was low; it was enough for me to listen.
“Shut up Choi Seungcheol. Shut the fuck up” my voice was the only thing I could hear right now, “WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE”
“Sweetheart, I told you not to fall in love with the demon” and he loosened the grip of his hand on my wrist, I wanted to hit him push him but I felt like I had no energy left after I was battling with myself
“Why would you do this Seungcheol….” I started hitting him with all the force I had “Why would you do this to me Cheol?!” he lowered his gun, and it fell on the floor. I broke down in his arms, gripping his shirt, where I was hitting him earlier. His arms wrapped around me, “It started as a lie but I thought I could let you go so that we could pretend none of this happened but this feels impossible. This was the only way to push you away, this world is not for you. There was a reason you were kept away from all of this princess.” My sobs were getting louder, I needed to cry and let it out.
“I started loving you so bad that it hurts so much why would you do this to me Seungcheol why” he was caressing my hair, “I love you Azalea”
“Why would you do this, why?! You know I can’t live without you and I won’t let you live today” I grabbed the gun before he had the chance. I pointed it towards his heart, “Shoot me. If you think I’m still lying.” I wasn’t going to believe him anymore.
“Stop it Seungcheol, I’m not believing you anymore, you lied to me, and you broke me to the extent that I can never trust anyone anymore.”
“Remember I love you and will love you but what you did to me was unforgivable.” And I pulled the trigger.
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melobin · 5 months
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I'm having a bad case of a eunseok and sungchan brainrot just like everyone else.
Could only think of lazy sex on the couch but they are kind of desperate. They bear hugging you while they start thrusting harder and faster. Just imagine their tightened arms and thighs and their airy moans by your ear. All sweaty and hot, stopping at the worst moment just to feel you clench around them and hear you whimper. Their big hands going to your ass, guiding your hips in slow circles just to torture both of you and slowly resume their thrusts while saying sum nasty shi n kissing your jawline😮‍💨😵‍💫
I write this with an insane speed so maybe this has a lot of bad spelling or idk my badd love youuu
i’m laying here thinking about sungchan and this made it even worse 🤕 but i love you too !!!
lazy sex that turns desperate … it’s so sungchan coded … starts because he got hard and wants to fuck you but doesn’t have much energy, but it just builds up as he’s inside of you and he just needs to be rougher… would hold you so tight as he fucks you, lips by your ear, groaning into it with each thrust, loving how you melt into his chest and let him use you !!
eunseok .. kinda gives the vibes of sea he’s start last as on purpose just to get rougher after .. wants you to be desperate, clawing at his shirt, whimpering into his neck for him to fuck you harder, begging. he’d be all for it but not before teasing you, moving you slowly against him whilst he laughs in your ear …
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irememberthedark · 4 months
Text
The Enemies (3) 🖕💣🔪🥵
Summary:
After losing focus and having consensual workplace relations with Ackerman of all people, Eren gave no thought to what would come after. He didn’t expect this kind of mental anguish and torture, but his pain is exactly what she’d want, he knew.
The real games begin. Who wants to play Chicken when you can play Cat and Mouse
Mature, NSFW, 18+, WC: 11.1k
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READ ON AO3
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Pt. 2, Chapter 1
Eren’s breathing was harsh, built up from no strenuous physical activity other than his right-hand jerking and squeezing his cock painfully. His fingers closed tighter around his girth, the added pressure eliciting a low groan, but it wasn’t too much that he needed to stop.
He was trying to simulate a feeling as he pinched his head enough to grit his teeth, brow furrowing impossibly deeper. Of course, it wasn’t one he could truly replicate with his hand alone but what he couldn’t do physically, his imagination could make up for.
And his imagination had been extremely active – overactive – all weekend. It was the reason why he was out of bed immediately upon waking, the reason why anytime he so much as dozed, his dreams were of the wet variety, the reason why he got distracted with every task he tried to complete, the reason why he’d changed the sheets three times in the past two days, the reason he couldn’t make it through a single shower without dirtying the shower floor and wall anymore, the reason why he was slowly going insane.
He couldn’t get her out of his fucking mind. Like an idiot, like a fool, like all those fucking simps for her in their office, Mikasa Ackerman had gotten to him. Eren was about one more masturbation session from getting into his car, driving to the nearest train crossing and waiting for death to take him. It had to be better than falling to this.
Mikasa, I’m too good for anyone and everyone Ackerman. Mikasa, lick ground I walk on, Ackerman. Mikasa, I moan like the prettiest whore while my tight, blistering cunt is being plowed, Ackerman. Mikasa, I flush all the way down to my bouncing, lace covered tits, Ackerman.
Mikasa, my hips fit perfectly in your hands, my ass is a plush cushion for your hips to smack against, my legs are perfectly toned to lock around your waist, I can ride dick like I do everything else…to perfection, Ackerman. Fucking Ackerman.
Eren’s glutes tensed, head falling back as his lips opened to pant hot breaths in rapid succession. His balls tightened, dick pulsing as he directed it down to not get cum on the toilet lid again.
His foreskin was sensitive, a little too raw from the jerking of his hand back and forth, up and down, chafing the skin but pushing him to the finish line of a race he’d lost several times over. The handle was shoved down much harder than necessary seconds after clarity knocked the fuck out of him again.
Green eyes stared hard into the toilet bowl below, watching the swirling waters take more of his children to the sewers to join their many siblings that had gone there before them. In the last two days, Eren’s right hand helped him nut more of his kids down the drain than he probably had in the entirety of his adolescent years. Okay, that was an exaggeration, but he was fed up with himself and there was only one person at fault here.
He stepped in front of the sink to wash his hands and begin preparation for the workday. Like every other time this weekend, two things caught his attention immediately. The first being the scab over his bottom lip that reminded him of her teeth sinking into them every time his tongue ran over the foreign roughness.
Every time he saw himself, Eren was reminded of how Ackerman bit him hard enough to puncture the skin, how hot her tongue was as it licked up the blood and pushed inside to make him taste the wound.
Simultaneously, she gave him the second thing that he could only escape with time, the nearly faded bruises on his neck that resembled fingers, a hand. She’d left her mark on him. It was exactly as he’d intended and had more than likely succeeded in doing the same to her. He’d wanted Ackerman to be reminded every time she saw the markings that it was him who had given them to her. It was his dick she’d squirted all over.
Eren couldn’t say he was surprised she’d done the same, intentional or not, but the fact that just feeling the tender spots left him seeing her sweaty face and open lips above him again and again made him unable to decide if she was the one at fault or was it his for being unable to stop thinking about it.
What bullshit.
The groan of exaggerated anguish he released turned to one of irritation at the excessive globs of paste covering the uneven bristles of his toothbrush. Eren brushed his teeth angrily, determined not to let the burning mint overwhelm him, nor the thoughts of the unexpected fuck with Ackerman.
He’d given way better than he got, so if he couldn’t get it out of his mind then he’d bet the farm that neither could she. They’d both suffer for her mistake. He spit in the sink and left the bathroom for the closet.
Sex with Ackerman, of all people, had never crossed his mind. Never. He shook his head at the pathetic guys that obviously wanted to get into her pants. He glared harshly at the ones who whispered crudely as she passed, having not a single ounce of shame while ogling her ass so openly and elbowing each other with those sleazy grins.
He wasn’t blind by any means and could begrudgingly understand their reactions while being disgusted by the crassness. Wanting to be stepped on or kiss a woman's ass just because of her femininity or connections wasn’t the type of guy he was. It just wasn’t.
Eren had self-respect and took pride in himself and his abilities to get the job done well. No, he didn’t need to be patted on the back like Ackerman thought, which was just another hypocritical statement on her part because heaven forbid someone didn’t recognize her every achievement (i.e. him), not to mention that certain someone was then treated like dogshit she’d stepped in at every turn as a result.
He just thought it was shitty that they all basically did the same thing and got different levels of recognition. The difference? Who their families were. Ackerman’s had been in the company since day one and his…he had his mom.
He had gotten to the same place with a single mom who worked every day of the year to provide for him and make sure he had the same opportunities as any other person who came from a two-parent home, who had their hands on everything their child touched. Forgive him for being resentful that something that couldn’t be helped like that was the reason for Ackerman’s recognition by their higher up over his.
Still, despite that resentment, he felt guilty for what he did. Staring at the marks just visible beneath his open dress shirt again, this time they weren’t a reminder of all that had taken place. It was only fair that the bruises hurt a bit under the tight hold of the necktie pulling the collar of his shirt together.
The feeling was in no way the same manner as when she wrapped her hands around his neck, however. Arms dangling at his sides after a moment of appraisal, he left the mirror's view, not keen on upsetting himself further on the fact that he’d touched someone inappropriately without their permission.
Now, he was worse than the fuckers who were so blatantly disrespectful in their attentions. They had never stooped to the same level he had because they never dared to say those things to her face let alone exhibit predatory behavior. But he did.
Shame from that moment so short, so seemingly small and insignificant burned at his insides, always the second reminder to follow upon the heels of the sex. The fucking sex with Ackerman. He had never forced himself on anyone, never considered putting his hands on a person without their permission the way he’d touched Mi…kasa, whom he had no love or like for.
Another long sigh deflated Eren’s chest as he stared into ripples the knife created in his coffee thermos while stirring. Strands fell from the bun he neatly rearranged each time his hands ran over his head, fingers trying to comb through it with anxiousness. What excuse or reasoning could he possibly give? The lunch prepared after a long cooking session nearly met its end on his shining floors several times as he tried to pack up with such tumultuous thoughts swirling around his head in repeated, rapid rotation.
Had his mental faculties been impaired by exhaustion, barely running on very little sleep and even less food? He couldn’t have been that debilitated with the ample energy found to rail her into his desk. Was he pissed that she was trying to not even bother with the work he and his team spent hours reading through testing and preparing because, like always, she thought her shit was the end all and be all? No…those weren’t new occurrences. Their constant back and forth because of her refusal to recognize any efforts outside of her own little circle was normal.
Looking at things as unbiasedly as possible, Eren could say that tensions were higher than normal. Going over it in his head, he could say the space was kind of contained. The normal distance between them was smaller than it had ever been. If anything, it was a concoction perfect for an explosion.
The nature of that explosion was what was in question. Obviously, they should have devolved into a screaming match of epic proportions; he likely might’ve gotten in her face. She would have shoved him back in her own rage. It could’ve been their worst altercation yet.
If Armin and Annie had returned to that, the two would have separated them immediately. They would have been the voices of reason. If not…well there were no other avenues he could see things going besides the one it had gone down.
The root of the problem wasn’t the type of explosion that occurred, but what led to it. By crossing boundaries that hadn’t been navigated before, that should have remained untraversed, he had cracked her.
Even now as he locked his apartment door and made his way to the elevator, he couldn’t remember what he was thinking in that moment he’d trapped her against his desk. Eren fought the urge to move his fingers in the way they remembered following the line of thigh, dancing around the curve of her hip. Instead, he jabbed at the first-floor button and hoped for the unlikely event that there were no stops on other floors towards that destination.
His foot tapped impatiently as the pieces tried to fit together in his mind. Ackerman had dressed him down, made him realize how truly egregious his actions had been. The sexual harassment allegation was no longer an allegation.
Boundary crossed; however, the switch up didn’t happen until he apologized, admitted his wrongdoing, and made it known that it never should have happened. Boundary redrawn. Then it was destroyed because, of course, she had to do him one better.
Ackerman did the unthinkable by pulling him in and doing exactly as he’d done to her. In hindsight, with the added benefit of rest, it was easy to see the method of thinking behind her actions because he would find it kind of shitty if she apologized for being such a bitch too, however sincere it was, but at the time, he wasn’t in the mindset to do anything else but express remorse.
He’d broken the status quo.
Who could have predicted an apology of all things would have been the tipping point. Sure, they had already stepped out of the norm with their talk deep diving into sexual relations and his…inappropriate touching, but even then, they could have taken a step back. The crack, the small fracture those actions made could have easily been patched up, but him apologizing and actually meaning he was sorry for his actions was unprecedented. It was such an unfathomable concept. It had broken her and subsequently him because, naturally, Ackerman would want him to drown with her.
Eren was definitely drowning. The morning sunlight blinded him momentarily after exiting his apartment building. The outside air filled his lungs. The sound of early car and foot traffic hit his ears. Perhaps it wasn’t safe to drive in his state of mind. A quick glance to his watch showed there was time. Turning left, he set off for work. His job. Where Ackerman also worked. His coworker. Whom he’d fucked in his office three days ago.
Why did he do it? Why the fuck did he fuck her? Understanding what led up to it still didn’t give him the answer he was seeking.
if you’re gonna fuck me then do it. That’s what she’d said, and he’d done it well. Thoroughly.
If not, then for the third time, move so we can get to work.
Was it just because he couldn’t believe what he was hearing and wanted to see if she actually meant it? Did he want to see just how far she would go over some stupid, meaningless argument? Was it her nonchalant posture like he didn’t have her in a compromising position without escape?
Was it the way that despite that compromising position she still stared up at him like she was winning, like she was in charge and in control, like she wasn’t as affected by him as he’d been by her purposeful coaxing of his cock?
Thinking with his dick was not how he operated. Never. He’d sworn to never be like…Eren didn’t want to be like that, so it wasn’t the boner that pushed him to do it. His dick would never be a weakness in that regard. He’d sworn that from a young age, and he could keep that promise to himself. Being unable to control himself and needing to get his dick wet was ruled out. He made the decision to do it. But why?
Was it the challenge in her tone? Was it that fatal flaw that had gotten him again, the fact that he couldn’t back down from a challenge? Was it the need to prove any negative sentiments a person might have about him wrong? Ackerman didn’t think he would do it.
She didn’t think he would fuck her when the words came out of her mouth. She couldn’t have because it wasn’t something he thought he would do. Nothing in their working relationship ever suggested otherwise to either of them. She had to have been bluffing and he needed to call her on it to see, right?
The kiss though, that wasn’t explained away under that purview. It would be so easy to step into traffic. This fresh air was doing wonders for his brain functions, resulting in an overabundance of flowing thoughts that made him want to quiet it all down. He’s sure Ackerman would be happy to hear him succumbing to such a fate. Her happiness couldn’t be allowed with how much he was currently suffering. Regret at deciding to walk instead of drive was setting in.
Perhaps if he’d decided to drive his focus would be on the road instead of looking like an asshole standing in the way of everyone who just wanted to cross the street after the light changed. He wouldn’t be so in his head with the memories of how his hands tugged Ackerman’s skirt up replaying in 4k.
Pulling up her skirt was necessary for sex. If they were gonna fuck he’d need what was between her legs, right? It was just about the necessary parts that fit together. That was how sex worked. Nothing else was needed. If it was the challenge, fine, he could accept that. The blame would still be hers because she should have known that he was just as incapable of backing down as her by now, but he could accept that.
The grip on the strap of his work bag was tight as he willed away the uncomfortableness of his gait, born from the recollections of her, their coupling, at fitting her lips to his own. He should have treated her like the whore she was, with her stupid condoms and avoided her mouth altogether. Everyone knew you didn’t kiss whores on the mouth. She fucks, “just not around.” He scoffed. A likely story with all her condoms plural.
But that was another error on his part which, again, was her fault not his. Never – never had he gone without a condom. She just had to challenge him! She had to egg him on. Who mentions others when you’re in the midst of fucking someone else? It was rude as fuck, but she talked about his manners? The hypocrisy that came with thinking yourself above the same rules as everyone else must have been damn freeing as much as she indulged in it.
Sure, decorum was something he cared little for but that wasn’t because he thought he was above it. He just didn’t give a shit about rules made to keep everyone comfortable while giving an excuse to ignore the real issues at hand. He didn’t need to make up a pretentious reason for why he did or didn’t adhere to that garbage.
There was no guess work in that regard which was nice considering he couldn’t come up with any motivations for his overall handling of the situation. It started with that stupid sexual harassment claim, ultimately leading to the challenge of having sex with her.
From the penthouse to the depths of hell, he’d made more mistakes along the way like kissing her back and foregoing a condom which felt – fuck, it felt good – and finishing inside her. Full on insemination. No pullout game in sight. A creampie to its fullest meaning only after she’d squirted on him.
Ackerman was right. Although he’d never say it out loud because he would never hear the end of it, they really should have done backshots.
With the way her ecstasy filled face played on loop in some part of his mind at all times of the day and night since he’d first seen it, Eren undeniably felt the decision to have her laid out on his desk instead of from behind. What kind of shit did he spew out? He wanted her to know who was fucking her?
He wanted her to look at him when she came on his dick? He knew it was her he fucked, and he was very aware of her as he came inside of her. Reckless. It was the kind recklessness that he’d promised himself to not partake in anymore but so much worse.
Had he made a mistake?
“Eren!” The sound of his name had him stopping and looking around wildly annoying those behind him. “Over here, silly!” Whirling around, he saw Mina looking cheerful as always, waving at him three buildings back. Oh. He had passed the office. How loud was she calling him that he could still her over the hustle and bustle? “Going somewhere,” she asked once he was back at the curtain wall that made up the entrance to their towering office building.
He fought a sigh as she stepped into his space, closing the respectable distance he’d left between the two, refrained from rolling his eyes as she leaned forward enough to give him a view of the unimpressive cleavage he’d already met. Thinking back now, it was nothing like –
“Uh – um, going to work. Obviously.”
“Did you get a new job and not tell anyone?” He looked like a dumbass, didn’t he?
“I might be a little distracted today.”
“I bet you’ve been thinking about Mr. Smith’s presentation of the final package to the client all weekend, haven’t you, Eren?” Man, did he wish that were the case. Her hand coming up to touch his arm kept him from drifting back down that cursed path that had him passing up the building. “You work too hard.” And her fingers starting to massage the arm she had a grip on made him move from the unwanted grasp.
“A little hard work never killed anyone, Mina.” The sound of her heels following behind him made him sigh…and reminded him of Ackerman’s, as she followed him to his office where they had –
“Are you listening to me, Eren?”
“Huh?” His gaze dipped to the side where she’d caught up with him. “Sorry, what did you say?” He had to or she might have blown her cheeks out more in the pout he might’ve found cute at one point. It was obnoxious at best now.
“I asked what’s going on with you.”
“Nothing’s going on with me, Mina.”
“Then why are you acting like you don’t want anything to do with me anymore?” Why him? Why today? As if he didn’t have enough to deal with because all he needed was for Ackerman to walk up and say something, a single thing about what had taken place and now that he was thinking about it, what was he going to say about it?
“I told you I had a lot on my mind. I’m not trying to blow you off.” They joined the small crowd at the elevators.
“I’m not talking about just right now. You’ve been blowing me off a lot, lately. Ever since we… y’know.”
“Ever since we slept together?” Fuck, what was he supposed to say now that they’d had sex? Should he say something?
“Eren!”
“What?!” He glanced down again to Mina crammed into his side on the full elevator and saw how red her face was.
“You can’t just say that so loudly,” she gritted out, eyes darting to all the other occupants who had most likely heard him. Why him? Why did he have to deal with this of all mornings. He didn’t give a fuck about these people hearing him, and he didn’t know why Mina was acting like some modest princess as if she hadn’t already spread it throughout the office that they had, in fact, slept together. Everyone fucking knew already because she couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut.
It would have only mattered if one person in particular was on the elevator with them.
That thought in itself made Eren panic a bit, his eyes darting across the backs of people’s heads, turning to see all who were behind him avert their eyes as if they weren’t listening to the conversation in front of them. He might have thought it kind of them if he wasn’t finding himself increasingly keyed up.
All she could talk about besides whatever the hell they were arguing over was how he’d fucked Mina, how Mina was trash, and he was a whore because she thought he’d put his dick in Hitch too. Had the blond tried? Yes. She tried it with everyone. It was hard to know if she was serious or not, which was just as well because he wasn’t interested; not that that mattered when someone told a number of their office mates that he didn’t mind sleeping with coworkers and being believed by all despite there being no proof of it.
Ackerman would find a way to throw it in his face. What if she was on the next elevator over? What if she was already on their floor? He knew the look she’d have on her face seeing the two of them together, the little jabs and snide remarks she might make. Hell, she’d probably think she’d proven her point seeing the two of them coming in together as if he’d spent Saturday and Sunday doing Mina after doing her the past Thursday.
“I just didn’t take you for the kind of guy who ghosts a girl after – after having relations,” Mina whispered next to him. He rolled his eyes. Relations?
“I’m not.”
“Then what happened? Everything was going really well, I’d say.”
“You think this is the best place to talk about this, Mina?”
“No…but you avoid me at work unless it’s for work. and when you bother to answer my texts or calls, you seem so dry and disinterested. I guess…my feelings are kind of hurt.” Eren wanted to laugh at her hurt feelings because it was his feelings that were hurt when she aired their fucking laundry to anyone who would listen.
He didn’t mix work and pleasure. At all…just like he’d never fuck anyone at said place of work because he was a professional. Until Mikasa Ackerman, who decided to challenge him and ruin it as she did everything else of his she’d touched. He was on his way to ruin in this very moment, if he wasn’t already there.
The series of events that led him here to this elevator wondering stupid shit like if Ackerman had a plan to prove that he’d fucked anything with legs, or something even dumber like it was her intention all along, not because she wanted to sleep with him but because she wanted to scramble his head, confuse him so that his work performances decreased, allowing her to shine without competition.
The dumbest idea of all? Ackerman wanted him to think of her whenever another woman was near, especially the ones he had or wanted to have ‘relations’ with. Before they even got into things, she was sure that she was a better lay than Mina or any of the other company he kept. Could she have gone that far just to prove her point?
No. For one thing, her point had not been proven. Eren remained firm in his stance that there was nothing special about her. Nothing at all. Also, there was no way that Ackerman really gave a shit about Mina and probably wouldn’t even acknowledge her role in their tryst since she’d made it pretty clear at the time that she didn’t want anyone to know; but if she saw him and Mina together, would it really add fire to the flame she had going for Mina that night? Should he start an argument first to avoid that topic of conversation? Find something, anything at all, to nitpick to avoid having her whisper in his ear about how she knew she was a better fuck than Mina? Which she was not.
She’d probably be sending knowing looks because he was so out of sorts that it would be hard to hide just how much he was affected by this inner turmoil. No, he wouldn’t start a fake argument for argument’s sake. Then she would know without a doubt. He couldn’t have her knowing that he was not the same until he figured out why and fucking fixed it.
“Are you really not going to say anything?” And he was about two seconds from going off on Mina and really saying some shit that would truly rip through her apparently fragile feelings, but he already had Ackerman to deal with today.
He did not need her staring at him forlornly around every corner or in their meetings from then on out. Worse yet, he didn’t need her spreading around more gossip that he was the kind of guy that played nice until he got some nookie and peaced out. That wasn’t him unless given a reason.
“Look, I told you I had a lot of things on my mind this morning. It’s not a good time or place to have this conversation. We’ll talk. I promise.” Mina watched him through scrutinizing eyes wondering if he were telling the truth or not and he was wondering if it would be best to avoid both her and Ackerman until he got himself together.
“Okay. But only since you promised!” The conversation was over just in time for them to exit the elevator. Before thinking about it, Eren was darting out, in a hurry to get out of there and to the safety of his office where he could close the door and not have to deal with anyone else for at least the next thirty minutes to come up with a plan.
His head was on a swivel, eyes darting to and fro, taking in who was nearby, who was in proximity of him and his office, who he could get away from with a quick nod and who liked to talk way too much.
Taking the long way around to not pass her office ensured that avoiding others would be a harder task. Even when she wasn’t around, Ackerman found ways to inconvenience him. Why was evil so gifted at being evil? He was nearly there, keys emerging from pocket when his name was called once again by someone he could not ignore. His features rearranged themselves quickly before spinning around.
“Good morning, sir!” Mr. Smith closed in on him, his presence and height making Eren’s spine stand erect.
“How was your weekend? I hope it was relaxing!”
“Oh, very relaxing, sir. Thank you for the half day Friday. I’m well rested and ready to jump back to work.”
“That’s what I like to hear, Yeager. I always appreciate your hard work and dedication. The half day was much deserved. I was very pleased with the Final Package, and I’m sure our client will be as well. Good work.” This was how after days and days of thinking of nothing but fucking this man’s daughter did his mind go blank. He was being recognized. Someone was seeing him.
“Th – Thank you, sir! I really appreciate that. It means a lot coming from you, sir.”
“I’m just giving you your well-earned due. You and Mikasa make a great team.” He’s proud his face didn’t even sour at hearing her name or the fact that his boss thought they made a great team…although he was admittedly perplexed by the way Erwin smiled at him while saying the statement. Did…Did he know?
“I – uh – suppose we do.” Why was he laughing? What was funny about saying he ‘supposed so’? Would he be laughing if he knew? Or was he laughing because he knew. But that couldn’t be the reason he was laughing because who laughed at the guy that rearranged his daughter’s guts in the very office he ran.
There was no way Ackerman told him about what had occurred between them. There was no way she actually went through with the sexual harassment thing because it had no ground to stand on by the time they left his office. The man would not be smiling and laughing in his face if he knew.
Don’t freak out for no reason, he told himself.
“There was also something I wanted to speak to you about, Mr. Yeager.” Holy shit, he knew. He knew. Were the compliments to lull him into a false sense of security? To butter him up? To raise him up higher to make the inevitable fall harder? He wanted to speak to him in his office where it happened?
The evidence was everywhere. Eren couldn’t get out of the building fast enough once they had been dismissed early on Friday, and he certainly didn’t want to be at the scene of the crime after Armin and Annie had caught them with bloody knives in their hands.
They both had blood read: cum on them when all was said and done. The two blondes could be his witnesses even though they’d only seen the end result. Armin would vouch for him for sure, but it was just as she said: his word against hers. It was obvious whose word would weigh more and win. Shit. Shit. Dammit!
Like that, his short career was over with one monumental mistake. His dreams of a stable future for his future wife and children were up in flames. How would he give his mother money now? He’d expect someone with Mr. Smith’s power and reputation could easily blacklist him.
No other company would hire him which means his years in college were now wasted. He only had two more years of payments on his loans. Speaking of loans, how would he pay his bills? He’d have to move apartments, so would his mom. Would they press charges? Would he be labeled a – a – a…sex offender?
This was his nightmare come true.
“Are you feeling alright, Yeager? You’ve gone rather green.” He couldn’t get any words out. “What I wanted to speak to you about, it can wait until your feeling better.” Really? Was Mr. Smith so cruel that he would prolong his suffering in this way, endanger the safety of those in the office with a perceived predator on the loose? Even if he was green, he still had his dignity.
“I – I’d rather know now, sir. Put me out of my misery please.” This time he didn’t let loose a few chuckles. No, his mouth opened wide, head tipping back in full-blown hysterics. Mr. Smith was howling. He was that ruthless of a man after all, but it was probably what he thought was deserved for touching his daughter inappropriately.
Eren wanted to find the nearest balcony, stand on the edge and let gravity decide things. It probably hated him enough to let him live too; but why try to kill himself that way when he could hammer the nail in the coffin and let Mr. Smith know exactly what happened whether he was to be believed or not?
Then, he’d tell the man how he raised a monster, the worst kind of human, and that she was a bitch only good for her cunt, and though he hated her with every fiber of his being, especially now that she’d gone through with her ridiculous threats, he had the best orgasm of his life and left copious amounts his children – no jizz would be more crass and he knew how she felt about crassness which had to come from somewhere. He’d say he left a big, heaping load of jizz in said cunt, so much that it was dripping down her legs in her hurry to get off his dick once they’d been walked in on at the tail end of the act.
Maybe her cunt was good because she was just a cunt in general.
He’d make sure to say that too. If he was getting arrested, he would sign his own damn warrant.
“Mr. Smith, you should know that I –
“Wait a minute, Eren.” He chuckled a few more times, getting the rest of his laughter out and Eren felt his irritation growing. To think he looked up to this man. “My apologies for laughing. It’s just you said put you out of your misery as if what I want to speak to you about is a bad thing.” The word vomit that was about to spill from Eren’s vocal chords paused mid-way up his windpipe.
“It's…not?”
“No. Why do you assume it is? Have you done something that I need to reprimand you for?” As if needing reminding of exactly what it was he’d done, the image of his cock plunging in and out of Ackerman’s drenched pussy at a galloping pace played in his mind. It was so well made too, zooming in on his hands framing her hips as he held her lower body off the desk, the sounds of his hips snapping to hers floating from right audio to left. What a heady feeling that bestowed upon him.
“N – no, sir.” Clearing his throat was all he could do to get ahold of himself. “No, I haven’t. Why, have you heard that I’ve done something that needs a reprimand?” The weight of Mr. Smith’s hand slamming down on his shoulder caused his knees to buckle. Eren honestly wasn’t sure what kept him upright or what was happening anymore as humor took his boss once again. What the fuck was so funny?!
“You’ve got a great sense of humor, Yeager. I can see why she likes you. Look, how about I let you be for now, so your complexion can return to its normal color. Come see me by the end of the week. I’ve got a really good opportunity I think you’d be perfect for.” With those words, Mr. Smith left him standing in the hall alone, shoulders still shaking as he went.
His hurry to get into his office and hide avoid any other human contact today was all but forgotten at the exchange. That was the second time he’d been unexpectedly accosted and it had gone so much worse than the first with Mina. He nearly did the same thing he briefly believed Ackerman to have done and ended his whole career, like a fucking idiot.
Solitude was imperative lest someone else come along and really make him shed his last remaining braincells because what the fuck?! It was official. He had lost his fucking mind. Eren had hoped it would happen much later in life but when there were so many accelerants around and one that was more potent than the rest, the process was bound to be expedited.
The keys trembled in his hand, jingling together as he missed the lock four times, frustration getting the better of him before managing to jam it in much too roughly. The smell, although faint, hit him immediately and Eren thought that perhaps he should just go home for the day instead of ending his life and/or career because the recklessness of his boyhood had come back to visit him and brought plenty of gifts from its long travels.
But he couldn’t. That would be admitting defeat and Eren would rather ride this current train of insanity into a mental institution than admit that Ackerman had beat him. In what? He didn’t even fucking know at this point. What he did know was that he wouldn’t lose and that meant staying at work, evading her everyone who might have business with him while his head was hanging from his neck by a thread, and making it through the next nine hours without incident.
It had to be this way if his mind was betraying him like this. What if it happened again? What if he let something slip out without thinking it through? Or if it was thought through, but his inner idiot had unknowingly taken charge, he might be convinced of how good an idea it would be to let out any sort of hint that he and Ackerman had fucked.
Head banging against the door once, twice, and thrice, Eren tried his best to clear it. That wasn’t going to happen…if he stuck to the plan; but the smell. If someone came in here looking for him and smelled this smell, saw this mess. Fuck. He nearly fell over avoiding the sticky brown soda staining the floor to get to the scene of the crime. What greeted him, he could only shake his head at.
The dried crust was obvious on the chair. Outlines of previously crystalline liquids screamed at him from his plastic chair mat on the floor. The papers and other objects strewn about during their harsh coupling remained as disarrayed as they’d been left. She could have been kind enough to wipe up after herself, but why would he expect anything else from Mikasa, lick the bottom of my six-inch heels, Ackerman.
Disgusting. He had to clean it all up. Quickly.
The supply closet wasn’t far. He could make there and back in no time. If anyone said anything about the rag and spray bottle of cleaning solution, he could say he spilled his coffee. Coffee was a daily thing for him. No one would be suspicious and want to check…unless they did want to check because his thermos had always been a screw on top. It wasn’t a lid that could allow a spill or come off easily. What if someone knew that?!
He wouldn’t put it past Ackerman to know and she’d definitely know what he was doing with the ammonia and a cleaning rag. Fuck, what if he ran into her?! He still didn’t know what to say or if he should say something or if she would say something. Fuck! Friday, there had been no questions about how they’d interact with one another. They’d worked just fine with barely any hints that something was amiss once everyone returned; but that was before he’d been left alone with his thoughts and dick for the weekend.
That was before he’d come to work and talked himself into screwing up all that he’d worked so hard to get. Eren knew how bad he was at keeping his emotions in check under duress and Ackerman was perceptive enough to not be fooled by piping hot coffee staining his shirt and scorching his skin. With a single look, she’d know that he spilled it on himself purposefully; she’d be able to tell know that he wanted nothing more than to bend her over his desk again and –
No!
It was the smell. He should’ve taken care of this last week! Eren couldn’t get back to the door fast enough. That didn’t keep him from quietly turning the handle, ever so slowly increasing the gap between the weighty door and its metal frame; caution imbued him as he peaked out, eyes darting from one end of the hallway to the other, ears straining to hear if anyone was near or approaching.
The strict vigilance gave him the necessary push to dart out, closing the door as hastily and gingerly as possible. His heart was beginning to beat soundly, hairs standing on end at the possibility of danger as he threw his back to the wall before repeating the same process of peeping around the corner of the corridor a custodial closet was located on.
The coast was clear. Eren was off at a deliberate pace; brisk enough to show his intent on getting somewhere but not too much to show his increasing panic. Drawing unwanted attention would be the worst. There was no need to worry. In seconds, Eren had made it to the crucial destination without being noticed.
Slipping inside, the sigh of relief didn’t make it past his throat.
Water rushed to obscure his vision as a cough to clear his airway tried to claw its way up. Eren fought to suppress it with everything he had in him, eyes bulging, veins thrumming, face at a quick boil. Hands on his knees, he was bent nearly in half trying not to be heard as he choked, wondering if it would all end in a closet with the most nauseating person he’d ever had the misfortune of knowing existed. Talk about occupational hazards.
“Yes, I’m still here. It’s fine, although I would suggest hiring more staff if you have to keep customers waiting this long…It’s fine, I said.” Eren found the will to roll his eyes in his quiet struggle to breathe. What a tool. Obviously, if they could have more employees, they would hire more just to avoid suffering people like him. Which was exactly what he should be doing, Ackerman’s little Shetland be damned.
Eren could still do this. He could still get what was needed and escape without Horseface knowing he was in the room with him. Long-snout was sequestered in a corner, his lengthy, equestrian head tilted to the side, foot tapping impatiently. All he needed was him to go galloping back to his master to report his whereabouts. That wasn’t going to be tolerated. Not today. Gathering himself, Eren gave his chest a few hits of his fist before scanning the space for what he’d come for.
“I want red roses,” Mr. High Horse stated, shifting his weight and redirecting Eren’s line of sight to see disposable rags on the shelf right next to him. Pity welled up for himself at just how difficult everything was just turning out to be today and for the poor soul that would be on the receiving end of a bouquet that had him on the other side.
Were red roses even still romantic? They were so overdone and cliché at this point, but having original thoughts was not a talent he’d seen this man exhibit. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t his concern. Keeping low, Eren tip-toed forward, cognizant of the cleaning equipment nearby, heart dropping as a mop nearly clattered to the floor if not for his speedy reflexes.
Laughter threatened to take him as he got right behind Fancy Prancer as he balked at the price of two dozen red roses before still agreeing to pay the price. This was after asking why it was so much, again, like a tool. Eren would bet that employee’s response was something along the lines of they didn’t make the prices as he eased the disposable rags from their place. One item down, just the cleaning solution to go.
“I want them delivered to a specific address today…It’s extra to have it done today? Why?” Those were the rules of any last minute or rush delivery. Duh. Man, this guy would get the first-place ribbon in being a prick. Plucking up the spraying bottle from a cart against the wall, Eren began towards the exit, eager for another experience of this day to be over. “Fine. I want to add a message too. Ready? It’s simple. Just say, ‘relax, recuperate, and know that I’m here for whatever you may need, Mikasa.’ And –
“Mikasa’s sick?” Horseface whirled around a second after him, the two of them facing each other in a closet. The words slipped out with no regard to his filter or the stealth he was supposed to be practicing and his brain caught up later than he would have liked. Dammit. This is what happened when he was stressed the fuck out! But – “Ackerman is sick,” he asked again.
“What are you doing in here, Yeager? You eavesdrop on people’s personal phone calls now? Tch, typical for a degenerate like you.” Degenerate? What was this, the 1900s?
“You mean in here, the supply closet that our office keeps supplies in for its employees? It’s not a fucking lounge, Kirstein. Perhaps you should take your personal phone calls in places that aren’t open to everyone if you don’t want to be overheard. And speaking of overhearing, Ackerman is sick?”
“Why do you care,” he huffed, eyes cutting to the side. That was a yes, but he had an even more important question.
“And since you’re sending her flowers, that means she’s not here today?” The question had glee growing inside him. If she wasn’t here today then that meant –
“The flowers are from our entire team!”
“Right, because the entire team wants Ackerman to know that they’re there for whatever she needs and wants to punctuate that pussy declaration of their misplaced feelings with flowers,” he deadpanned.
“It’s not a declaration!” The horse was starting to blush and Eren relished in it.
“What else does two dozen red roses with a get-well card from a coworker say besides, I’m desperate for you to notice I exist outside a workplace setting? Do tell. I’m listening.”
“She’ll notice me before she ever notices you, Yeager.” That was funny. Comical. Hilarious. Immediately the thought of somehow passing off the events of Friday to the Horse Whisperer who so desperately wanted Ackerman’s attention slid into Eren’s mind. Kirstein could fucking have it and her for all he cared.
Then his life, head, and dick could go back to their normal, un-Mikasa Ackerman festered state. Hell, he’d even have more material to amuse himself with. No doubt, Horseface would animorph into a dog and crawl behind her on his hands and knees, tail wagging so hard he might lift off if she actually gave him the time of day he wanted.
The entire train of thought came from the station he tried his best to block off access from. It was from that reckless, self-sabotaging side that wanted to crush Kirstein here and now by telling him that Ackerman had noticed him in the way he probably fapped to on a regular basis.
Eren would do it for the sake of shutting him up, to not have to witness him being a fucking simp for a woman that would likely never notice him if she hadn’t by that point, to brag that for all time he spent brown-nosing between Ackerman’s cheeks, it was him that tapped her in the end. It could be a lesson to her entire fan club. Instead, he pointed to the Rocking Horses phone and said,
“You better get that before you have to be on hold for what, another thirty minutes?” Eren left the closest with his cleaning supplies in hand, the sound of Jean calling out increasingly aggravated ‘Hellos’ becoming distant. Knowing that Ackerman was nowhere near the premises lightened his steps a little bit, and pissing off her Shetland lifted their weight even more.
Getting rid of the evidence was all that was left to do and his mind could be free of her. Eren could begin to heal. Finally.
Upon returning to the tainted office, he immediately set to righting the place, snatching up the paper strewn about the floor first. Replacing the fallen books and binder to the shelf hit him with another moment of clarity. Two framed pictures of him and his mom sat catty-cornered to one another. If he stood in front of one, then turned around, Eren could see that his poor mom had a front row seat to him and Ackerman trying to fuck each other’s egos out.
What a terrible son he was. Sighing, despondently, he pushed the crusty chair away, wondering if the better option would just be to burn it. Thankfully, inhaling the fumes of cleaning spray as it settled onto the mess of a chair mat wiped all thoughts of the offending piece of furniture away.
The familiar smell immediately took his mind from what he was removing to simply cleaning itself. He had something to focus on, a task to get done. Something was dirty and needed to be made right again. Housework was a craft Eren had become very familiar with as a child, his skills growing as he did.
They let him know he’d have to hold off on the stupid chair because despite everyone having leather chairs, there was no proper leather cleaner available. It made him wonder what the cleaning company used now. He’d have to look into that because it might significantly decrease the life of them.
In the meantime, the process of cleansing calmed him and brought about an ease that had been missing all weekend. Why hadn’t he messed up some shit before just to clean it? The office was definitely getting the sterilization it deserved, heady fumes filling the space as much as they were Eren’s nostrils. A loud pounding on the door was what broke him from the trance of sanitization.
“Who is it?” He didn’t even notice anyone walking by, but now the blurry shape of a man was framed in the opaque door window. Objectively, Eren knew he shouldn’t be worried. The leftover waste was more than cleaned up. No trace of it or the smell was present, but it kind of messed with his plan of remaining without the temptation of spilling his guts if someone came looking for him which he didn’t think anyone would. He looked up from the floor as the door creaked open.
“Is it safe to come in?”
“Armin?” Blonde hairs appeared first followed by blue eyes sneaking in next, skimming over the room before the brows above them knitted together. Whatever he’d planned to say was forgotten as he stepped in fully, looking down at his friend on the floor.
“If you’re going to stress clean, you should at least open the door, so you don’t get brain damage from inhaling all these chemicals.”
“I am not stress cleaning.” The unimpressed look Armin was giving had his ears heating up. He was not stress cleaning. “If someone hadn’t spilled soda all over the floor and left it there, I wouldn’t be down here.” The words were a reminder to both of them of exactly why the sweet drink was dried sticky in the first place. The draining color from Armin’s face wasn’t missed as he averted his gaze.
Any zen gotten from his not stress cleaning evaporated as his was brought back to that night again, this time not with Ackerman specifically in mind, but by the sound of his friend’s repeated “Oh shits” becoming more panicked at the lewd sound of his softening cock sliding from her used pussy. If she had gotten up sooner, he could have avoided getting juices on his hand when trying to hide his dick from view.
Friend or not, he would never be able to look at Armin properly again. He certainly couldn’t that night after Annie hustled them both out while he and Ackerman used the entirety of his Kleenex supply trying to make themselves presentable in hurried silence. He couldn’t even be pleased at their mixed release running down her thighs or at how her legs shook despite her best efforts to keep them steady, or even how she had to use so much more tissue than him. Being walked in on by his co-worker and friend had doused any emotions of triumph he could have felt.
He experienced an awkwardness that night that rivaled anything that puberty had thrown at him. They had all been too shocked, avoiding the others’ gazes as they ate in silence. The elephant taking up all the space in the room had been suffocating. His heart hammered in his chest once Annie opened her mouth, just knowing that she was going to mention it, that they were going to have to explain the thing that was never meant to happen or be seen, but instead, she said something almost worse.
“You need to bring the test group data collection into the conference room. I refused to work in a room or office knowing you two were fucking in it.”
“Annie!” She looked over at Armin’s exclamation.
“What? Do you disagree? It smelled like a shitty club bathroom after horny spring breakers had run through it.”
“Thank you, Annie! We get it,” Ackerman snapped as she stood, sweeping the remains of her meal back into the paper bag and dropping it into the trashcan on the way out the door. It slammed shut behind her.
“I said nothing that was untrue.”
“You didn’t but maybe you could have said it differently.”
“Why? I wasn’t the one fu – you know what? Nevermind. Are you going to get the materials or not, Eren?” And that is how he ended up picking his jaw up from the table and bringing everything over by himself. Ackerman had disappeared for over twenty minutes and didn’t deign to share what she’d done in that time. He honestly couldn’t care less. What he wanted was the nightmare to end. A whole weekend later, Eren was learning the hard way that it likely never would. Tossing the rag aside, he stood up, sighing deeply.
“I take it you came for a reason.”
“Besides wanting to know why I walked in on you and Mikasa having…relations last week?” Here they went, diving into the conversation he’d hope to avoid forever.
“Yes,” he bit out.
“Besides why you avoided my calls and messages all weekend?”
“Yes, ‘Min. What do you want from me?” His zen was gone and now the panic was returning. Why couldn’t he just let it go? Why did they have to talk about something they were both scarred by?
“I did come for something else, but before that, me and Annie were talking –”
“Oh, you and Annie talk now?” Eren couldn’t place why he felt so bitter about that information, but Armin wasn’t in mood for his bullshit today and caught an attitude himself.
“Yes, Annie and I talk. We’ve been talking for a long time and maybe you and Mikasa would know that if you weren’t so obsessed with hating each other but guess that was all for show and we all have trust issues when it comes to our friendships!” Right. He was upset, but he couldn’t be more upset than Eren who was a lot more deeply involved in this circus act which made the thought of his place being switched with Armin come up and that was just – just no. No, no, no.
“Armin, I trust you implicitly and you don’t need to restrict who you’re friends with just because we knew each other first. By all means, talk to Annie. And for the record, hating Ackerman has never been for show. I do hate her. I’m actually 99.999% sure I hate her even more now.” Why else would he still want to –
“To be clear, you hated her so much that you –
“Yes! The hate I have for her is passionate and real and it just happened to be expressed in that specific way on that specific night. Don’t look at me like that’s weird!”
“Right. You’re completely right. It’s not weird, Eren. It’s crazy.” Objectively, he knew that his friend was wanting to understand more than judging him, but Eren didn’t not want to be seen or understood by someone else when he couldn’t comprehend it all himself.
“You think I don’t know that?! I’m the one feeling certifiably insane here! You think I haven’t been asking myself how we got from arguing about – fuck, I don’t know, attraction or stimulation like it actually mattered to – to – doing that.”
“What do you mean you don’t know how it got to that? How do you not know how your…” he gestured down, “ended up in a – a –
“I slipped and my penis fell right into her vagina.”
“Gross! No, it didn’t!”
“Of course, it didn’t! Yes, I know how it happened! I mean, you’d think someone would concede at some point. One of us had to concede and let it go. Hell, I did, but somehow, we still ended up doing that!” And the distress was returning. Now he was being expected to explain himself.
“Right, okay. So you don't know whyyou guys did that. You want to know what I think?”
“No offense, but fuck no. It doesn’t matter because it will never happen again. You have no reason to bang on my door like you’re the FBI or ask if it’s safe to enter like it’s a teenage girl’s bedroom every time you come here. I’d prefer the two of us act like it never happened and, eventually, we can forget it did. Now, what did you come here for?” Armin looked like he wanted to argue as the words spewed from Eren’s mouth but as soon as he asked that final question, a light bulb visibly went off on his face.
“We have a meeting. Mr. Smith wants us all to discuss the final package one last time before he presents it to the client.” Shit, he hadn’t even turned his computer on. Was that what Mr. Smith wanted in the hallway? Fuck, all he needed was a repeat of that. The day was truly going up in flames, his one spot of sunlight not even seeming as bright at the thought of facing people in his current state.
“Okay, when is it?” Maybe he could take off. He couldn’t be a loser if she wasn’t there to know he was a loser.
“It started like fifteen minutes ago,” was Armin’s nonchalant reply after glancing at the watch he wore. Eren’s brow furrowed.
“What?”
“We need to get going. Everyone is probably wondering what’s taking me so long.”
“What?”
“Meeting, Eren. Now. You didn’t show, so they sent me on a fetch quest.”
“And you thought now was a good time for an interrogation, man?!” Great. Just great. Another weight added to the never-ending tipping scales of his sanity. Eren was not prepared for a meeting. He hadn’t printed out the package or gathered the possibly needed materials. He hadn’t made any notes on the questions Mr. Smith might have for when he went to make the presentation to the client. Any calm gained during his (not) stress cleaning was nonexistent.
“I was going to wait until after the meeting, but you were on your hands and knees cleaning with strong chemicals in your work clothes. It was obviously the best time to strike before you thought to avoid me altogether.” The asshole was completely unapologetic for pressing him.
“I dodge your calls and you decide to put my job at risk because you saw some sort of tactical advantage?” He was already doing a good enough job of that without any help. The look he threw over his shoulder as he stacked various profiles in his hands might as well have been to a brick wall.
“Calm down. Your job will be fine…if you get there before the thirty-minute mark passes.” It took everything in Eren not to knock Armin over as he passed into the hallway. So what, if he held the door open for him.
“Why am I friends with you?”
“Just consider this my payment for the bleach I needed to pour into my eyes because of you.” There were plenty of things that could have been said in response to that, but Eren uttered not a single one of them, content to leave him behind with his longer stride. They would pretend none of it ever happened starting now. He shouldered the door to the conference room open a little harder than necessary.
“Apologies, for my tardiness. Shall we get started or continue?” It was all bravado as he met Mr. Smith’s gaze with a nod, but if he acted like nothing was amiss, then nothing was. The little voice in the back of his head whispered how it was easier to accomplish when there wasn’t someone there to make an ordeal of it.
Still, as Mr. Smith’s voice filled the room, bouncing off the hard surface of the long table, Eren couldn’t help but scan the other seats, all filled with their typical occupants. Well, all except one closer to the front end. It was empty just as the horse had said. That confirmation should have been the end of it, but he found himself distracted, Mr. Smith’s voice repeatedly fading into the background in favor of staring at where she would typically be.
Trills of annoyance had his teeth gritting together more forcefully each time he realized his attention had wandered. It was an empty chair for crying out loud! Who was to say it was the exact chair Ackerman normally sat in because it was at the spot she normally chose? No one. No one could say that. Hell, someone had probably switched it several times over when they couldn’t get their height to adjust to how they wanted it.
Forcing his eyes back to the project images and charts ahead, he stared harder at the graph being gestured over. The x-axis read ‘Why wasn’t she here?’ and the y-axis asked, ‘How many days would she be gone?’ and the data was a scribble that made no sense. He leaned in further.
“The fuck?”
“Is there a problem, Mr. Yeager?” Shit, he actually said that out loud? All the eyes in the room turned on him affirmed that he had. Great.
“Uh no sir. The graphics team did an excellent job.” Mr. Smith nodded, gaze lingering momentarily before carrying on. He, on the other hand, seemed to have reached his breaking point. Okay. Making it through this meeting was all that needed to be done. Afterwards, he’d put in sick time and go the fuck home to reassess the situation and get his shit together. This was too much.
Considering he nearly blew it all up after being in the office for less than ten minutes, there was no telling what he’d find himself doing if left in the pressurized tin any longer than necessary. Make it through this meeting, was Eren’s chant as his fingers braided together underneath his chin, eyes closing, ears open.
The graphics weren’t important. What Mr. Smith was saying was what he needed to pay attention to; especially since the other person he compiled it all with wasn’t here. That was the worst part of all this. Ackerman wasn’t even on the fucking premises, yet he was feeling this damn pressed. Before, Eren’s goal was to figure out why he went through with it, to know why he couldn’t stop thinking about it after the fact. Now, regret was being pulled from within the swirling vortex that was the current state of his emotions as his ears strained to hear.
Funny how it hadn’t occurred to him to regret having sex with Ackerman, but now that he was, the hair on the back of his neck was standing on end. Strange how it was making his shoulders tense and his head tilt backward towards the entrance in wonder of what that sound was, so minute through the thick glass that he might as well have been a dog perking up to the whistle of a frequency only he could hear.
He knew that sound. What was it?
The answer came to him much too late, not that it would have mattered. There was nowhere to go that he wouldn’t be seen. Of course, Eren knew the sound of a woman’s high heels. In an office ripe with them, the clicking and clacking was very much normalized. It was more a matter of who’s high heels had him drawing all sorts of blanks, because rarely did that particular sound draw his attention let alone him knowing who the steps belonged to.
For a third time, he was a disruption to the meeting, the seat of his chair squealing loudly with the speed he used to whirl around just in time to watch the opaque doors open. His senses tried to warn him that she was coming. He was just too braindead by this point to pick up the hints.
“Sorry, I’m late,” Ackerman said breathlessly, obviously having been in a hurry.
“Do they all make you weak like this or is it just mine, hm – mmmmh.”
Eren would deny forever and ever that he physically jumped when her sharp, gray eyes flitted down to him as if she’d heard the pathetic way his mind leaped to another time she’d been breathless and hurried and working herself up on his dick.
His mouth didn’t audibly snap shut either. It hadn’t fallen open in the first place. That was his story, and he was sticking to it.
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icallhimjoey · 1 year
Text
To Have And To Scold
♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader
Summary: Your best friends are getting married, and who else can they ask to be their best man and maid of honour but you and Joe? It’s just that… you don’t really get along all that well, do you? At least, that’s what you think.
CW / disclaimer: sort of enemies to sort of lovers (very vague, im sorry, but you’ll see), slow burn, language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader
Author’s note: here’s part 5, may all your questions be answered before we carry on with wedding-themed shit!
Wordcount: 3.3K
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part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten - epilogue
It was a thing of self-deprivation.
To protect himself. His friendship with Poppy. You.
Deep breaths. Inhale, hold, exhale. Eyes closed. In through his nose, out through his mouth. Deep breaths always helped.
Distance helped too, in all senses of the word. Stay away. Always a couple of feet in between the two of you. He couldn’t let you get to know each other better – not that he hadn’t learnt too much already. Mark and Poppy never fucking shut up about you.
He just couldn’t let you get close, just… he needed distance. Distance kept it safe, so he’d keep you at an arms-length, always.
It was already all too fucked up.
When you looked at him, it was like a gun went off inside of him. Hardly able to move, or even breathe, you made everything a struggle.
And you were so aloof about it, too?
It honestly angered him.
You acted like it was absolutely normal to move all slow and seductive around him, like you weren’t driving him absolutely insane.
If Joe looked at you too long, he’d find himself involuntarily groaning at your features, and Jesus Christ, how tempting was it to just never move on from you? Despite knowing that even just thinking of going there could fuck everything up.
You were so incredibly off-limits, it was nauseating.  
Not that anyone had told him you were. Except Mark, that one time.
He'd only just been looking. Maybe for too long, but still, it had just been looks. Mark had caught him, made eye-contact and slowly shook his head as he frowned.
Enough said. Joe understood. 
It was just a look, but Mark had seen right through him, and Joe despised how he carried his emotions in his features for everyone to see. Should really learn to keep some just inside his head. Inside his chest, where only his ribs could feel.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
You were best friends with Mark. Friends like Joe and Poppy were friends. Maybe even better friends than that, although, Joe didn’t know what that could even look like.
Surely one step up would be dating, and, although he loved Poppy with all his heart, dating her seemed like a nightmare. He loved Poppy like he’d love a sister. It was the type of love where you could get livid with each other one minute, be screaming and slamming doors, and the next, ask them what they’d want for takeout, apologies not even on the table because they were completely unnecessary. It was a thing of beauty and something he couldn’t imagine doing without.  
Oh God, even trying to think about how he’d cope with anything without the security of his Poppy there was enough to send him spiraling.  
So, what if he tried something with you, and then, it not working out? 
Poppy and Mark were getting married.  
You were in Mark and Poppy’s life for the long-haul. You and Mark were presumably better friends than he and Poppy were. Sometimes Poppy would rant about it for a minute, and Joe’d have to listen to her go on about how her fiancé was having drinks with a beautiful woman that he’d confide in. That he would talk to about Poppy. Would complain to about her.
And she trusted Mark, because he trusted her too, but Jesus, Poppy was allowed to be jealous, wasn’t she?  
Joe understood. 
Not because of his friendship with Poppy. He understood because he felt just as fucking jealous. Poppy would be sulking over Mark hanging out with you so often, whilst Joe would secretly be sulking over you hanging out with Mark.
Not that he’d actually want to hang out with you. 
Because he couldn’t. You were off-limits like that. 
But in another world? He’d have snagged you up ages ago. Would’ve charmed you right off your feet. Would’ve pulled every single trick he knew to pull you in and he’d never fucking let you go. You would actually know he’d want you, because he’d be so up front about it. Wouldn’t fucking hold back, because, fucking hell, he was down so bad for you, it was really working his mental-health if he was being honest.  
But you were Mark’s best friend. 
The repercussions if things were to ever go wrong were catastrophically large. He’d bite himself in the arse, shoot himself in both feet, because losing you would simultaneously mean losing Poppy. 
And it wasn't like you were into him anyway. Joe’d made sure of that from the beginning. And for some unknown stupid reason, that only made everything so much worse.
Deep breaths, Joe. Come on.
Joe had had crushes before, had girls make his heart flutter and tighten the muscles in his lower stomach with just a glance his way. But he’d never been quite as terrified as he was now. Everything about you scared the living daylight out of him.
Joe scared himself when he would often try to think of red flags in you, things wrong that could give him the ick enough for his mind to cool down a little. But Joe was absolutely weak for you, and every bad habit he could think you’d have, his brain automatically would make okay.
So, you were stubborn, just like Poppy.
But that just meant you knew what you wanted. You were steadfast. Were strong like that. Weren’t going to let someone just mess with you.
Like Joe.
You were close to Mark, and Mark was close to Poppy, and Poppy was close to Joe, but it seemed like those ties connecting you didn't matter - if Joe was cold to you, you were cold right back.
Joe deserved that, he knew.
And it helped the self-deprivation.
The distance.
Joe deserved whatever you'd throw at him, because he knew it was only reactions to what he'd throw at you.
It just wasn’t what you deserved. 
He wasn’t what you deserved.
Joe knew you knew it too.
He was a selfish man. Joe’s time and attention went to himself and the things he loved, and you deserved more than selfishness from people around you. If the shoe had been on the other foot, if you'd been the selfish one, Joe knew he’d dive right in and he’d suffer for you. He’d suffer all his life if it meant he’d got to at least spend some of it loving you and have you love him in return the way he'd want you to love him.
God fucking damn it, you were responsible for so many sleepless nights, you had no idea. And it only got worse when his best friend forced you to collaborate. To actually communicate. To invite you into his home, where all of his things were and where there was nowhere for him to hide.
Where he learnt things about you he hadn't yet heard from Poppy or Mark.
You'd shown up comfortable and cosy and it reeked of a level of confidence he knew he'd never even be close to touching. Especially not around you. Joe fucking dressed up for your meeting at his house. Had gone through outfits like a teenage girl would ahead of something important, like, oh Joe didn't know, going to wherever they might run into their crush, Joe imagined.
And you'd just sat down at the kitchen island. Deemed that spot perfect for what you were there for, even though Joe had gone and tidied, cleaned and vacuumed the living and the dining room. He'd even gotten an interior mist that he'd sprayed all over his curtains so that, if he were to casually get up to close them, the place would smell of fresh jasmine flowers.
He'd stacked his fridge with nice wine.
Made sure he had the best coffee ready for you.
And then you just wanted a little bit of water, and Joe mentally cursed at himself because, what the fuck was he doing?
In an attempt to appear as casual as you had, he'd undone his tie a little and had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and he'd seen you look. Thought you could see right through him which made Joe eat himself alive, nerves heightening all senses and Joe had to really work to hide his sweaty palms from you.
He'd tried to be normal.
Crack a joke or two.
But the focus he had on how to keep himself in check, how to move in front of you, how to feign normalcy but keep enough distance - it meant he'd lost how to sense where your boundaries were.
Anything said with sarcasm without that comfortable layer of friendship was just plain old bullying, wasn't it? Crossed real boundaries, didn't it?
So he'd fucked up, and then, he'd immediately panicked.
Had to close the distance somewhat to make up for it.
Had to go sit down next to you, so you could be normal people who had to do a normal job.
Had to fix it by tearing down a wall of his own.
And it worked. Because you turned and moved back towards him.
Sat down next to him.
And you'd gotten the actual work done, sat side by side at the kitchen island. You worked efficiently, were very organised and knowledgable in ways Joe hadn't expected from you. These were things he hadn't learnt from Poppy or Mark yet, and he cherished that he got to learn these things by himself. Got to witness your traits up close, in his own house, mere inches away from him.
But the whole time he'd sat next to you at his kitchen island, half of him had wished that he wasn't sat next to you at his kitchen island.
Because from here he could feel your body heat radiate, and it tingled his skin that was closest to you.
From here he could smell your perfume, and it was the type of shit he'd dream of later.
And every so often you'd lean closer to scroll through his phone that was laid on the counter, and Joe would have to close his eyes and mentally pull himself together. Make sure no stuttered breathing, or, Joe's worst nightmare, actual moans accidentally slipped out.
Because he could feel them.
Back of his throat.
Later, he'd tell them. He'd get them out later, in the privacy of his shower, or his bed.
After you'd left, Joe was stuck in his hallway for a while. Didn't really seem to able to move from his spot, his feet nailed to the floor, like he'd been hypnotized to believe he was stuck in quicksand. Knew that when he'd move, he'd just sink deeper.
Something in him had cracked when you'd closed the door behind you.
He'd just stuttered that he thought you were nice, and now, he needed to die.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
The embarrassment was honestly too much, and looking directly at a framed photograph of himself and Poppy, he didn't understand the strange feeling of guilt that grabbed him by the ankles and just... kept him there.
In his shiny dress shoes.
In his own house.
Joe was still wearing shoes in his own house like a fucking idiot and he'd just told you that he thought you were nice, stuttered through his words like a nervous schoolboy, and now he felt guilty?!
It wasn't until he understood why, that he was able to really move again.
This wasn't what Poppy deserved.
Poppy would worry so much about the man she loved sharing a part of his soul with this other person.
You and Mark were etched into each other souls - platonically, Poppy had no doubts about that, but my God, would Poppy ever get to see the parts of Mark that you got to see?
Poppy would worry about it a lot.
Not all the time, though.
Sometimes Poppy wanted to be lazy and watch The Crown with Joe, and she would suggest Mark could call you to see if you could hang out with him. It'd get him out of her hair for a second, and in those moments, it was all good. No issues. Everything completely fine and dandy.
But when she was tired, or had had a rough week at work, and Mark would go, "hey, I'm heading out, don't wait up," without explaining where he went, because he didn't really need to, Poppy knew where he'd go, that's when she'd call Joe and would start the conversation with, "I know it's dumb," before listing off all her insecurities. All of her worries.
Joe couldn't be responsible for those worries of hers to double in size when she would inevitably learn that the other man that she loved so dearly would freely give all of him to that same person.
The two men Poppy loved, the both of them, had space reserved in their hearts for you. You filled gaps she could never fill.
So he felt guilty. Couldn't not feel the guilt eating away at him from the inside out at parts that he could feel tug at him when he thought of you.
Joe couldn't face Poppy after that evening.
At least not for a few days.
He was afraid that she'd see right through him. That she'd confront him, and then he'd have to spill all, and fuck, that would just about ruin everything. Ruin her, and in turn, ruin him.
Joe was selfish, and Joe was gross. He was a bad friend. A bad person overall, he thought.
And it just hammered home when a joke - he swears, he was only joking - got you so upset, you walked out of the pub all together. You'd had 4 drinks in under thirty minutes and Joe'd fucked up so royally, you'd actually just left him.
Joe didn't understand.
Joe didn't know where the boundaries were.
They were impossible to find with the distance he'd always kept, and now that you had to work together, Joe wished he knew exactly where the line was. But he'd also been drinking, and even if the line had been bright and fluorescent, he probably still would have missed it.
Joe only found boundaries with you right after he'd crossed them.
The alcohol in his system hadn't served him right, and the second he implied that you and Mark weren't really friends like he and Poppy were, he was taken aback by how your whole being had turned fragile, right in front of his eyes.
He witnessed your hard exterior falter and you shrank into a tiny version of yourself, right before you said you needed to go. And Joe had tried, had reached out a hand and grabbed your arm, immediately regretting whatever he'd said, whatever he'd done to hurt you - to inflict pain like that.
However, his hold on you felt invasive, and just telling you he was sorry didn't seem like it would be enough.
So you'd left.
And he thought about calling Mark. But what was he going to say? Tell him he'd gotten another girl he loved drunk and that he needed help getting her home safe?
Big nope.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
This was something he was going to have to take care of himself. He didn't know how, exactly, but staying at the pub to finish off his drink wasn't going to do anything. So he'd followed you out. And he'd follow you home. He'd make sure to see you step into your building, and he'd watch until the door closed behind you.
Joe needed you safe.
He was about to learn where you lived, and shit, that was too close. Joe wasn't allowed to get this close.
But he'd lie to himself if he said he didn't feel a smidge of giddy excitement too, because, he was about to learn where you lived.
Joe found you fast and caught up to you without a problem. But then what? What was he going to say? Just say he was sorry? Just say he was an idiot and didn't know how to be around you?
None of what he could say would be good enough.
Joe wasn't good.
He was bad, and he could feel it in his bones. Knew it to be true. Joe was reminded of that once more when he realised why his loose fitted trousers, his baggy, swishy, wide-legged bottoms, why they were necessary for him to wear now. He was bad, and so fucking lucky that he was wearing baggy trousers when he watched you lick ice cream off of your spoon.
Joe shifted in his seat, needed to make sure that he felt less of himself grow in his underwear, and needed to make sure that nobody would see.
Jesus, you had to stop that. Stop that thing you did with your tongue every time you had a bite.
Fuck.
Maybe this is why he could never fucking think straight when he was around you.
Maybe all the blood in his body finding residence in his groin was exactly why he said dumb shit. Did dumb shit. Like make you eat a bite of his gelato. And watch the spoon that had resided inside your mouth dip into his tub, touching melted ice cream that he'd get to eat in a second.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
Joe was just a man.
And weren't you just all woman.
Beautiful, and lovely, and smart, and nice. Clever. Well-organised. Confident. Observant.
He knew when he'd cropped that picture that one day, he'd have to explain to someone why he'd chosen that photo in particular.
It was just a photograph of him and Poppy. And they looked good in black and white, faces all funny, his arm around her shoulder. Poppy's arms were both around you - he'd had to cut them off, and it looked a little weird at first, but he'd gotten used to it.
He just... he loved that picture. That night had been so fun. He remembered exactly what you were wearing. How could he not? You'd been in this sheer little thing, all... see-through and suggestive and he didn't have a real excuse to look at you like that all the time. Couldn't just frame the picture of the four of you and have that in his house. He couldn't see you like that all the time, but he found a way to be reminded of it. By still using that photograph of the four of you, but only frame what felt appropriate.
The fact that you had noticed it had said enough.
Joe was bad.
Down bad.
For you.
It was awful, and he was disgusting, but he'd constantly wonder if anyone could really blame him. Had they seen you? Had they seen you that night? Had they seen what you'd been wearing? How you had moved across the floor? Had laughed at jokes? Had found the plastic straw in your drink with your tongue?
Had they seen?
Joe had seen.
Never wanted to forget.
He had to find a different picture to frame, one that was less obvious, but had the same effect. Would it be weird if he just framed the full photograph of the four of you?
You weren't friends like that. Would never be. Joe couldn't let that happen. Not for you. Not for Poppy.
But without any of the bad that it would bring, any of the issues, the regret, the guilt and if you'd actually let him, Joe would give you all of him.
Everything he'd ever been and everything he'd ever become - he'd gladly hand it all over to you, for you to do with as you pleased.
It was the one secret he kept from Poppy, kept safe inside the thick walls of his heart, and he fully intended to take this one to the grave.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
Deep breaths always helped.
---
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augustvandyne · 19 days
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addison montgomery x reader, private practice style pretty pls
i love a good “who did this to you?” lots of angst and care taker addison. giving you kisses when you’re stuck in a hospital bed.
i also love a little bit of addison crying on the shoulder of someone worried about you.
i love a good who did this to you moment as well. and i also live for the angst!!
tw: mentions of charlottes accident, mentions of past abusive relationship
who did this?
You couldn’t have possibly seen it coming. You thought you’d gotten away from him, but now it was evident you hadn’t.
Sam found you as you were leaving the hospital, and thank god he did.
You definitely weren’t in a good state at all, and you’d been out for a while. You’d had surgery done by Charlotte for internal bleeding and you were going to make it.
But again, you weren’t in a good state.
Addison found out almost immediately, as she was getting prepared to leave when Charlotte and Sam were rolling you inside from the entrance.
Charlotte had to tell Addison to get back because she was a conflict of interest.
You fell for Addison quickly after moving here a few years ago, and you obviously never thought your ex would find you.
You laid back in a hospital bed now, slowly coming out of consciousness.
“She’s waking up,” You recognize the voice to be from your best friend, Cooper.
“It’s a slow process, Coop,” Charlotte sighs upsettingly. “She’s been almost waking up for hours now.”
Your vision is blurry as you try to take in the bodies in the room. It only looked like there was Addison, Charlotte, Violet and Cooper in the room.
You feel wetness on your right hand, and you assume that’s where Addison is sitting. You can barely see Violet pacing back in forth in front of your hospital bed, as well as Charlotte trying to console Cooper on your left side.
“I don’t understand what happened,” You hear Coopers heart breaking, and yours breaks all over for all of them. You wish you could tell them.
“It had to have been someone from her past,” Violet says, her pointer finger and thumb digging into her eyes. She was tired.
You imagine Charlotte hollowing her cheeks in anger.
She wasn’t sure about you at first when you first moved back to LA due to you being Coopers closest friend and her being undeniably in love with him, but she came around to you eventually. And now, she was like a sister to you just like Cooper was a brother.
“We’ll find them,” Charlottes says in her southern drawl. “He or she. Whoever that may be. We’ll get her justice just like you did for me.”
You feel Addison’s grip adjust in your hand, and you know that hit a spot. Even thinking about something like that happening to you hurt her deeply.
“What do you think Addison?” Violet asks, but only receives silence. You haven’t heard Addison say a word since you had slightly woken. “Addison?”
You feel her lift her head and look at the other three people in your room before standing and exiting the room.
You see Violet exit as well behind her.
“I should,” Charlotte nods and kisses Cooper on the head before exiting as well.
“Y/n/n,” Cooper grabs your left hand. “You need to wake up soon, got it? You’re driving me insane, and you’re driving Addison insane. And.. although she won’t admit it, you’re driving Charlotte insane too. She cares about you too. We all do.”
You’re listening to what he says as you try to make out what is happening in the hall.
Addison has her hands on her hips and she’s looking up at the ceiling. Most likely to stop the tears from hitting her cheeks. She has her lips pressed together to stop any quiet cries from escaping her lips.
Charlotte says something that makes her bow her head, finally breaking and letting everyone else see the tears.
You knew Charlotte wasn’t one for PDA, so you were surprised when you made out her figure wrapping around Addison’s to comfort her.
“It’s going to be okay,” Charlotte rubs her back. “I care about her just as much. And I’m just as scared as you.”
“We’re all here for you Addison,” Violet promises.
You awake fully, your eye site still blurry, but clearing up, nonetheless.
“Guys,” Cooper widens his eyes, coming to the edge of the door, hanging onto the door frame.
Addison removes her head from Charlottes shoulder and is immediately by your side again.
“Y/n?” Her eyebrows are crunched up sadly, and you’re afraid if you speak she might start crying again. “Oh, my sweet girl.”
“We should leave them,” Violet suggests from the doorway.
Cooper and Charlotte nod, and reluctantly follow the woman out.
“I was so scared,” Addison leans her head down, kissing your scraped up knuckles. “My heart dropped when I saw you on the bed. I didn’t know what to do or say.”
“I’m sorry,” Your voice is scratchy. “It’s going to be okay.”
“It’s not, Y/n,” She shakes her head angrily. “Who did this to you?”
“My ex,” You squeeze her hand in reassurance.
“Who are they?” She asks with tears streaming freely.
“It was a man,” You cough. “He was abusive when I was with him and that’s why I moved here in the first place. To get away from him.”
Addison shakes her head, “I’m never letting you out of my sight again.”
You smile lightly at your girlfriend because you know she isn’t lying.
“Come here,” You move over in the bed, wincing slightly at the movement.
“Are you sure?” Addison asks. “I dont want to hurt you.”
“Addie, you won’t hurt me,” You laugh lightly. “I promise.”
She slides into the bed alongside you, moving so your head is on top of her chest and her arms are around you. She kisses you softly on the head.
You tilt your head up at her so she could kiss you on the lips, and she does.
“I love you Addie, thank you for taking care of me.”
“I will always take care of you,” She nods and the two of you fall asleep on the bed together. If you’re going to be uncomfortable, Addison may as well be uncomfortable with you.
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td-scenarios · 1 year
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Okay same thing with Anne Maria but Heather, mean girl is so pretty.
Thank you so much (I loved the last one so much!)
OMG YESSSSS ur literally inside my head i swear <3 mean girl,,,, (also im gonna go w/ like s1 Heather since that dynamic seems the most fun to me :D )
Heather x f!reader where Heather isn't used to a girl crushing on her
Okay, let's be honest, Heather would act like it didn't phase her for the longest time
Like her "of course she likes me. I'm hot asf" mentality yk
She's a bad bitch she's gonna act like one
Okay with that out of the way
You've fallen for her
HARD.
Like, yeah, she's kind of a bitch to everyone around her and is extremely manipulative
But in your head, you could fix her (or decide you like the atrocities. either way, you love her.)
Really, it starts off relatively small. Your main displays of affection towards her were staying out of her way and just admiring from afar
Not close enough to be manipulated like Beth and Lindsay, but not far enough to be completely shit on like Gwen or Leshawna.
But slowly, it develops a bit more where you're just
"Oh no. It's not a simple crush anymore I think I really really like her"
So now, she is starting to recognize your presence within the game
You defending her whenever the other campers get on her ass
Never voting for her
Stumbling through your words everytime she talks to you
This is basically all it takes for her to notice that you like her more than in a friend way. Let's be clear, she's NOT dumb.
At first, she thought she could use it against you to get you out, but something about that idea seemed "illogical" to her
Heather decided that you'd be better to keep around instead of getting rid of you too early
Rookie mistake.
She may or may not start catching feelings back in the meantime
The way that you're willing to stand your ground against the other campers, the way you are pretty competent in challenges, not to mention the fact that you are somewhat bearable.
And, being Island Heather, she has no one she will willingly vent to besides the confessional and she did NOT want the people at home knowing a vulnerability of hers
So the gay thoughts™ stay pent up and attack her like crazy
This is when she starts to think that she NEEDS to get you voted off
You are messing up her game and by God if she loses that prize money just because the most attractive girl she has ever met is on this island she will just about murder someone
Any move you try to make on her from this point onward will be ultimately thwarted since she will make the most distance between the two of you as possible
Everyone else had seemed so EASY to get voted off, but you. You were just too perfect in her eyes. She couldn't think of any possible weakness that she could use to get you voted off and it was driving her insane
There is no happy ending here unless you get voted off I'm sorry. It's just her character to not positively commit to anybody while also participating on the show
But once you do get voted off
Her game on the show would only improve. Her only motives being the money and getting to see you again
She doesn't get the money
But you end up being the only person who doesn't laugh at her shaved head and that only allows the two of you to grow closer
(I'm so sorry if this is worse than the usual imagines i write </3 im kinda out of practice AS YALL KNOW qwq)
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