I’m going to preface this post by saying I don’t give a flying fuck about the hate I’m going to receive for the opinion I will be sharing and I won’t bother replying to any comments attacking me for it.
I fucking LOVE that Aemond killed Luke and I wish it wasn’t accidental. I wish Luke’s death was full on intentional, lol.
As a victim of bullying, I’ve been in situations where I have had to fend off 20+ kids as a kid myself. I’ve been verbally, physically, emotionally and psychologically assaulted as a child by other children, simply because I wanted, strived for and had good grades in school, actions that did not affect any of my classmates in the slightest. Therefore, I absolutely sympathise with Aemond, whose lack of dragon and later on his acquisition of one hurt no one (dragons belong to no one, you snooze you lose), yet he still got ridiculed and attacked for it. Yes, Aegon was also a bully and I hate him for it, but ultimately he grows out of it and supports his family, unlike the Strong bastards who remain bullies and assaulters. Oh, and Aemond tried to hit Jace with a rock because he attacked him first. Accusing him for standing up for himself is victim blaming. People who defend the Strong boys are bullies and that’s final.
No, I don’t give a rat’s ass that his attackers were children. Aemond was a child, too, and they ganked him 4v1. It’s crazy how some of y’all support physically attacking someone because you don’t agree with them. It was satisfying to see him kick their teeth in. Aemond and Luke are only 2 years apart, even if the actors’ appearances suggest otherwise. Your age does not excuse you being a fucking piece of shit. Children and teenagers appear on the news daily as rapists, killers, assaulters and all kind of criminals. That’s the reason juvie exists. Children should face the consequences of their actions.
“Are you excusing child murder?” if it is by the hand of the child they unapologetically disabled, fuck yeah. Besides, at the end of the day, Aemond dies, too, so you could say justice is served.
Still, I would have given the Strong boy the benefit of the doubt if it weren’t for this scene:
Lucerys is laughing at Aemond.
He is looking him in the eye and he is laughing at him. It’s been 6 fucking years. Lucerys is 17 (confirmed by the writers) and he feels no remorse for what he did. He was not punished for his action, so he has learned nothing.
He feels safe to mock Aemond, in the comfort and safety of his grandfather’s house, where his guard and stepdad can stop Aemond, whom he cannot beat on his own, from bashing his head against the wall. He feels safe to attack Aemond when he calls him Strong, knowing that other people will finish the fight he started but can’t win.
But what happens when no one is around to protect him from the consequences of his own actions? He shits himself. His face falls, he stumbles backwards and does not object to Aemond calling him Strong.
Not laughing now, huh, you little shit stain?
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Hey, D. Question for you, buddy.
Have you ever had anyone say something really hurtful to you?
I'm sorry. That's really mean of them. And how did it make you feel?
Aww. Sweetie. But, let me ask you this. Have you ever said something that wasn't very nice to someone else?
Tell the truth. 🤨
Oh dear. Let's ask some of the other boys too... Joel? Javi? Frankie?
Well boys. I'm very disappointed in you all. But, there is a way you can all redeem yourselves...
No Dieter. Not like that. Although, now you come to mention it, it's been a while since the five of us all, uh, hung out together... 😏
It's Friday. It's that time again. Time for more Self-Care With Dieter & Jett! 🖤
Okay, hands up. Let's have our Mean Girls moment.
Who here has ever said something hurtful, whether intentional or not, to someone else?
That's a lot of hands... And for anyone who didn't raise their hand, I'm sending you the stink eye, because I know you have.
Yeah, you too, huh D?
And there's a big difference between throwing someone a snippy comment on a whim when you're pissed off, to continuously saying hurtful things to them repeatedly, or deliberately.
We all have. I know I have in the past. But it doesn't make us bad people, no. Especially if we learn and grow from it.
At some point in our lives, we all will have experienced bullying in some form or another. Be it someone calling us names in the playground in kindergarten, to workplace harassment, to threats or nasty comments against us online from an anonymous source.
And it doesn't feel great when it happens, does it?
That's right, D. It's not very nice to experience. 😢
We're all human, and as such we all feel things on different levels of intensity, and deal with bullying differently.
Some people have thicker skin, and words and insults can roll right off of them with little to no effect. For others, it can really play on their minds and contribute to feeling low and self-conscious and is harder to shake off.
What is bullying exactly?
Bullying is repeated, aggressive behavior that involves a real, or perceived, power imbalance. Its purpose is to deliver physical or psychological harm to another person. There are three main types of bullying:
Verbal - name calling, threats, taunts.
Social - online, gossiping, exclusion.
Physical - assault, physical/sexual harassment.
What causes people to bully others?
Bullying stems from many roots. But usually it comes from feelings of jealously, low self-esteem, anger, low self-confidence and/or traumatic events that have contributed to the bully building up thicker walls to remain protected themselves.
Some people can be naturally pessimistic or narcissistic in their personality, but again, there is always a root cause for it.
People don't become hateful intentionally, no-one is born hateful or spiteful; it is a behaviour that is learned.
It could originate from their home environment growing up, that they were bullied themselves so feel this is normal behaviour, or they could have experienced something traumatic, and lashing out at others verbally or physically, is the only way they know how to cope.
And some people are just sadistic, but that's another story.
The important thing to remember is that you are not to blame.
How can you effectively deal with a bully?
You love getting out your big gun, don't you, D? 🔥 But there are other, probably more law-abiding, ways to deal with a bully, bud.
Don't feed them. The first thing to know when dealing with a bully is that your fear, anger or getting upset, is what feeds them. Ignorance is bliss, right? Well, sometimes. It's very difficult to ignore someone who says something that cuts deep, especially if it's personal, or if you're already feeling in a fragile space. But biting back will only encourage them to target you further.
If you ignore a bully, they will eventually tire and move on. The biggest 🖕🏻 you can give to a bully is to give them no voice, especially your own.
Report them. If you're being bullied physically at school/college, the workplace, by a friend/family member/spouse etc... report their behaviour to someone who can help.
A teacher/a parent/a trusted friend. Even a member of authority, such as the police, if you've been physically assaulted.
You do not have to live in fear.
You may feel scared to report it due to them threatening worse behaviour towards you if you do. However your safety and mental wellbeing is worth more than their fear of getting found out for being a coward.
Speak up. By doing so, you could also be helping others suffering at their hand too.
What about Online bullying?
Online bullying is now one of the most common forms of bullying and anti-social behaviour.
Why? Because people can easily be anonymous online, and when there is no face, there is no filter. If it were easy for people to be identified and outed for their online behaviour, I'm pretty sure they would think more carefully before typing on that keyboard. But seeing as many sites, including Tumblr, make it easy for bullies to remain inconspicuous, they can spread like parasites.
But, it is also very easy to block them out.
Use the block button. It's there for a reason. Use it if you feel you need to. And report them too.
Adjust your settings. Depending on the type of social media you use, you can change your settings to ensure you're not subjected to harmful behaviour. For example, you can turn off commenting on your posts, or turn off your Asks if you need/want to.
Be careful what you reveal. Be mindful of the information you give away about yourself online. You don't have to censor yourself completely, and why should you? But equally it's important to be self-aware. Like you would be of your surroundings in the real world, give your social media the once over to make sure nothing too personal is revealed about yourself. Your safety online is just as important.
Don't bite back. It's easy to expose the horrible Anon Ask you've had, or to take it personally by responding to a hurtful or hateful comment publically for everyone else to see and interact with. But in the end you're instigating and giving the bully exactly what they want - your attention.
"You just wipe, you flush and you move on," as Dieter would say... rather poetically.
Or, in non-Dieter speak, delete, block and move on. Bullies don't deserve any of your time or attention, so don't give it to them.
But what about when we inadvertently become a bully ourselves?
Look, we've all done it. We're quick to defend those we love/like/admire. We're territorial and don't like seeing those who we care about slighted.
It's human instinct to protect.
But sometimes, that protection can morph into a fire, and a fire quickly spreads and grows out of control, and we don't necessarily realise that we're becoming bullish with our own behaviour, and thus contributing back to the problem.
Sometimes, affiliating with the scorned party creates a "gang-like" mentality and sides are split with discourse, unhappiness, indignant anger and actually causes more of a wider issue as more parties are dragged in and involved. Soon the small argument has become an all out war.
Stay calm, stay level-headed. Don't stoop to their level. Don't get involved if you can help it.
Think on your own actions. You've heard that expression if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all, right? Sometimes staying quiet rather than rising to it has more of a powerful effect than a full on slanging match.
Hold your head high. Rise above it. You are not the problem, so don't allow yourself to become a problem.
If needs be, step away, do something else and think on a sensible reply and come back to it later. You might regret acting on impulse in the moment.
If you must engage, be firm, be clear. Don't resort to petty name calling or nastiness back. Make your point concise, clear and politely. Then walk away/log off etc... Don't linger and keep going around in circles.
Reflect and learn. Take a moment to think on a time when perhaps you weren't so nice to someone in the heat of the moment, and ponder on how next time you can address it differently. What could you say differently? Could you have been more empathetic? Kinder?
Remember, you are stronger than you think.
Debate positively. It's never acceptable to threaten, belittle or insult someone online for having different views or opinions to you. The same as it's not acceptable for them to do the same to you.
Difference of opinion is what makes us unique as individuals - if we were all the same, it'd be pretty boring.
You can certainly disagree with someone, but be respectful and use positive, uplifting language instead of derogatory terms or personal insults. Debate is healthy, being a bully isn't.
⚠️ Threats against life, or encouraging someone to do harm to themselves, is not only illegal, but also extremely harmful and toxic behaviour. Don't resort to being low, and don't accept that behaviour from anyone else towards you either.
☝🏻And remember, karma is most definitely a bitch, and will bite you in the ass one day. So be kind, always.
D, I think we deserve to snuggle up, share some ice-cream and watch a happy film for not rising to the hate.
What do you say, bud?
Alright, alright... you can be the little spoon. Again. 🙄
You owe me you know. I'm keeping count. Come on, get close and give us a smooch, handsome.
So, Dieter and I hope we've made you think today, not only about how to identify bullying and how to combat it with ease when it happens, but also that we've made you think about your own actions when it comes to remaining level-headed, instead of hot-headed, towards others.
Until next time lovelies, stay creamy and stay kind. 🖤
YOU. ARE. STRONGER. THAN. YOU. THINK. 🖤
Do you. Then do Dieter.
More Dieter & Jett love here
ℹ️ Dieter and I always strive to bring you unbiased, fact-checked advice. We're not licensed therapists, so we do a lot of research to ensure we can provide helpful and informative posts. Well, I do. Dieter mostly sits around eating KitKats.
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I'm so so mad about this!!! And I never rant about stuff, but I'm about to do it cause some people need a wake up call.
You just made a teenager, a kid... No, not made, you forced him to be out of the closet. And what for?? Cause his Nick Nelson portrayal wasn't going to be appreciated if he wasn't really Bi?? That's bullsh*t.
The entire fandom and all the new comers of the TV series loved him as Nick Nelson and they didn't need to know his freaking sexuality to love him. He was amazing in the show and he doesn't deserves this.
The entire focus of Heartstopper is about loving who you are, but taking your time and space to understand yourself. Is about don't owing anyone anything about yourself. About realizing every queer person is different from each other, and they all handle it on their own away. There are literally dialogues in the novel about all this stuff. But you completely missed the point!!
And the worst part is that you are going to defend yourself saying that "is because we want queer characters to be played by queer actors", but that is a lie, cause you are creating a completely toxic environment around the queer characters.
Imagine you are an actress/actor about to audition for a queer character. You are queer yourself but you aren't ready to come out yet, specially not to the Internet. And you see how other actors of the same show had been forced to be out by the so-called "fans" of the show. And you start to think that maybe the role isn't worth it, if it is going to force you to do something that your aren't comfortable with it. So you drop the audition and look for a different role that doesn't compromise your personal life. That is the environment you are creating with this awful thinking!!!
You are making people feel attacked and insecure about themselves. When you should be welcoming to them, to share the experience of such an amazing story.
What it also bothers me is that it doesn't stop in the Heartstopper fandom. It has also been presented in other places, like the new Red, White and Royal Blue movie. Casey McQuiston, the writer, literary released a new chapter where one of the characters admitted he had PSTD due to the traumatized way he was outed to the world. And yet, you continue bullying and harrasing people into coming out.
Heartstopper talks about how Charlie is traumatized for all the people that bullied him after he was outed accidentally. And yet, you continue bullying and harrasing people into coming out.
Get a life people, cause the actors and actresses of a show don't owe you theirs just because you are a "fan".
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