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#anxietyproblem
anxietyproblem · 3 days
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ananxiousadhdadult · 2 years
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dreamy-mess · 6 months
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Long distance love is so frustrating most of the times cause you can't just come over to each other to give them a hug and some kisses if they're not feeling good. And you can't receive them either. So you can only rely on texts and calls. And the feeling of desperately needing a hug from the person you love the most will just break your heart in bits and pieces. And you never realised before how badly you can physically miss a person. And yes you will get stronger through it... But there are times where you don't feel certain of this at all and where it's such a battle to get through this until you see each other again.
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blepnoodle · 10 days
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I wasn't always as fucked up as I am now
I used to be a little girl who just wanted some friends
I used to be a little girl who was soft and kind
I used to be a little girl who loved to watch the wild kratts and zoboomafoo
I used to be a little girl who wished her world would stop slipping around her
I used to be a little girl who lived in her imagination and saw the world just a little different
I used to be a little girl who didn't know anything about our big scary world. All I knew was the sanctuary of the farm that I grew up on. I wish it would have never changed because now that I live in this big scary world, now that I see the monsters that hide in broad daylight, I think I might be one of them, and I don't know what's scarier, the thought of what happened to that little girl that I once was, or the thought that some other little girl will become a monster at my own hand.
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the-anxious-aspie · 2 years
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pokingfunatreality · 7 months
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm bad at poetry, and my life is too.
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njchxz · 9 months
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why am i like this?
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twist3d-kitty · 1 year
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messedup-gurl · 1 year
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I had been learning from her and following her footsteps. She is like a star in the nightsky, so beautiful yet unreachable. She was so far away, so smart and capable, and she was a fair lady. No wonder everyone liked her and surrounded her. Once, in a Chinese class, the teacher asked: Who wants to be with XXX(She)? Almost everyone in the class raised their hands. I thought to myself: no one would volunteer to be on my team. No one will be willing to be my friend. Even if there is, I would unknowingly distant myself from them. I am someone with little or perhaps no humor, I can not make good jokes, I don't know how to open up a conversation. At that moment, I wanted to be her. I wanted to be that popular girl. The girl that everyone likes. In other words, I needed to be her to have someone to play with me in the gym, to have someone to accomplish group projects with. Therefore, I learned her attitude towards people, I practiced her smile and forced on a bright smile even to people I disliked. I learned her positivity. Whenever the teacher asked a question, I immediately raised my hand, hoping that the teacher would choose me to answer. This seems to be a kind of competition, a competition between me and her. When I saw her raise her hand, I immediately raised my hand, hoping to grab the teacher's attention. Gradually, this has become a habit. When the teacher asked questions, I raised my hand immediately. And for me to be able to answer the question, I worked hard to prepare the night before. I would ponder upon the type of questions the teacher would ask and prepare the answers to them. When making friends, I would search some jokes on the Internet the night before, write them down, and share them with my classmates the next day. This caused me to be sleep deprived on man days. At that time, I wore a fake mask in school, and although I made many friends and became the top student, I also felt pressured. In the third year of junior high school, I was in a different class from her. And I changed. I was not as active as before. I would not raise my hand to answer questions immediately, nor would I approach my classmates with a fake smile on my face. I have finally learned to be my true self. The self who can't tell jokes and can only read and do work. Maybe it was because I got tired of it all. Of the friends around me who mostly asked me homework questions, maybe it was the teachers who demanded too much more from me, maybe it was because of all their high and great expectations. I couldn't take it in anymore. I removed my mask and decided to be my true self.
Not many liked my trueself. I could not make any friends. I always tell myself: I don't need friends. I just need to focus on studying. But when I was in gym class and doing group work, I still needed someone, the so-called "friends." So I approached my classmates. (My classmates were split into "friend groups," and I picked the smallest one) with a purpose and eventually became friends with them. They were nice and treated me genuinely. But I can not help but feel insecure. When they are alone together and whispering, I would imagine them gossiping about me behind my back. When I argue with them, I fear losing them, but at the same time silently hope to lose them. I wish I had no gym class, no group work, then I would not need friends. What I discovered was that they were really just my buddies to avoid the embarrassment and pitiful stares of standing in the corner by myself in gym class. They will say: "You have to learn how to comfort people", "You shouldn't do this, this is not what a friend should do." Maybe I'm not a good friend, maybe I don't deserve to have friends. Forgive me for this. I am just a selfish brat who only knows how to take and take and take, but I can never really provide the kind of friendship they want. They can live without me, right? I will not be remembered if I leave them . People say that after graduation, they will reminisce about the interesting things that happened in their school they will miss the old school days. But what will I miss when I graduate? What can I reminisce? I am grateful for the school of educating me. But forgive me for saying, I really hate it too. There are so many scars in me that can never be healed. I hate the teachers who were oblivious to my cries of help and just had high expectations of me. I hate those pathetic glances my classmates and the gym teacher cast on me when they see me sitting alone, not immersing in the games. I hate my true self. If I could bear their pathetic glances, maybe I won't be so tired, right? But it is just impossible to turn a blind eye to their glance, to stop the thoughts from overflowing my brain. Even now, it can not be done. I really, really hate my true self. This person is so, for god's sake, sensitive to every tiny thing. This person just can not smile at something everyone smiles and laughs at.
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rosegaming117 · 2 years
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I learned today in class that a sign of low calcium (hypocalcemia) is anxiety, so next time I'm having a panic attack I'm just going to eat some string cheese and hope for the best
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Have difficulty sleeping due to insomnia....I got belsomra...I do home delivery
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anxietyproblem · 13 days
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ananxiousadhdadult · 2 years
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dreamy-mess · 5 days
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I don't want to live in this reality anymore. Put a fluffy blanket over me and let me be in my dreams.
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black-raven-lele · 2 years
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I dislike being around people... The fear of being judge haunts me, thinking what they might say about me or what I look like drives me mad.. But then I start to realise maybe they're not the enemy... Its my mind who is... Leaha.I
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Its seems like ages to me since we last talked. But you are doing great without me and im happy for you. It eats me inside we are not how we used to be. But i will keep it to myself. Because i want you to be happy even if that does not include me there. But i still miss you.
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