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tigerdrop · 2 years

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hello everyone . i have.....an image. on my website. i started thinking about that werewolf AU thing again and could not stop thinking

i dont remember if i posted the half-finished werewolf fic i was noodling on but i will post it here for u anyway. as a treat

For the most part, Gordon’s gotten used to this strange new relationship. When you’ve spent long enough tucking a long, fluffy tail into your waistband every couple of weeks, it’s not much of a stretch to accept that there’s another guy just like you out there. Even if it is a little weird that you both work at the same top-secret facility in a dusty New Mexico hamlet that isn’t actually listed on the map. (He’s started to wonder if maybe he isn’t the only experiment-gone-wrong at that place.)

The point is, hanging out with guys from work isn’t that out of the ordinary. Plenty of the other researchers do it. And there’s not much else to do on the weekends but shoot the shit with that security guard who’s always lingering around his wing. The one who’s all… rules-lawyer-y and irritating and determined to be a thorn in Gordon’s side, sure, but it’s not like any of the other security guards talk to him much.

The fact that Benrey’s a fucking werewolf ought to throw a wrench in things. But like he said - he’s gotten used to it. Gordon’s threshold for bullshit has increased tenfold since he started to work at Black Mesa. The more worrying thing, in his opinion, is that they are definitely going to fuck.

It’s not like it was a foregone conclusion, he thinks desperately, as he idles away his lunch break by spinning the wheels in his head like a hamster. Their whole thing started off, like, normal! If you find out that your coworker is also of the canine persuasion, it just makes sense that you’d hang out and do canine things every once in awhile. Chasing chickens can get you shot out here in the desert. Chasing each other? Not so much. It was as much for Gordon’s benefit as Benrey’s, even if Gordon’s not exactly the one scaring goats and tearing up abandoned RVs when he gets a little stir-crazy.

Howling at the moon together was one thing. But Gordon’s not sure who started all the… playing. Fighting. Roughhousing. It just felt good to get all that animal energy out of him, okay? And Benrey’s the only guy he knows who can keep up with him. That’s what sealed his fate, probably. All that exercise gives him endorphins, right, and endorphins make you feel good, and humans are social creatures ruled by hormones (and he’s still half-human, at least) and he got to associating those good feelings with the one guy who drives him the most fucking insane in the entire complex. Good feelings like… like the shivers that crawl up the back of Gordon’s neck when he feels Benrey jam his snout up against his hairline and sniff. Or that heavy weight crushing him to the ground while Benrey chuffs at him. Or the feeling of hands, broad and massive and tipped with sharp, sharp claws, palming at his stomach and pinning him and pushing and pulling and manhandling and—

And—

Gordon blinks, and he’s already late to get back to his shift. Shit.

Every day that passes brings him closer to the full moon, and every unreadable gaze that Benrey fixes him with in the hallways brings him closer to a neurotic breakdown. Because they are definitely going to fuck. He can feel it.

He’s been aware of that electric tension in the air for months, now, because now he can smell just how bad Benrey’s got it for him. He— Gordon thought it was a joke, okay? He’s used to jokes like that. But Benrey can’t fake those pheromones that roll off of him in waves, every time he bows his head to invite Gordon to play. Gordon couldn’t pick up on shit like that before the whole… Nintendogging thing.

And even if he didn’t have his nose on his side, well. Benrey’s been acting kind of funny lately, anyway. Squeezing him tighter. Panting harder. Grinding his teeth. Letting his tongue loll out of his mouth, like he’s trying so hard to take in Gordon’s scent that he thinks he can taste it. And Gordon’s pretty sure he’s felt something worryingly boner-like pressed against him before, but he’s never felt like he should ask. He doesn’t wanna be the guy to break kayfabe and broach the subject. Like, maybe Benrey’s not even aware it’s happening. Or at least, that’s what he tries to convince himself of, because he’s having a very hard time coming to grips with the fact that he wouldn’t mind. That he’s dwelled on the idea a little too much. That his Google searches have gotten really fucking weird lately.

By the time that moon waxes into fullness again, Gordon has spent an obscene amount of time trying to come to grips with this. And, for the most part, he has failed.

Their usual haunt is a dry, sandy clearing just outside the town borders, a plot of land stretching out into the desert with a half-assed barbed wire fence wrapped around the side. The signs tacked to the fenceposts read “No Trespassing”, but they’re hardly the only ones to ignore them, judging by the way it’s been used as an impromptu dump. This month, the new additions include a busted toilet and a couch with a massive burn hole in the cushions. Gordon sits on it while he waits, tugging nervously at the sides of the ugly beanie he’s wearing. It was cheap. It hides his dog ears. What more do you want out of him?

There’s a shuffling in the distance. Gordon’s ears might be muffled, but they prick up anyway. It’s probably Benrey, but he can’t say for sure, because he’s been wrong before and having to explain the fucking dog ears to a stranger who’s just as freaked out as he is about being caught trespassing left its own indelible mark on him. (Perpetual embarrassment, mostly.)

He cranes his neck to look for the source, but—

Something hits him, from his blind spot— a massive weight, a force tackling him clear off the couch, and he lets out a shout until he hits the ground and all the air bursts from his lungs with a loud “woof”. He rolls— they roll— until they come to a stop, dust kicked up from underneath them and making Gordon cough. Once his eyes stop watering and he can breathe again, he looks up.

Benrey. Tongue lolling. Tail wagging. Clearly having turned before he got here. Gordon closes his eyes, long-suffering.

“You wanna give me some warning next time, man?” Gordon coughs out.

“i did warn you. take that… stupid hat off, huh, maybe you’ll hear me better next time. even said your name and everything - ‘here, doggy, doggy.’”

“What— Fuck off, no you didn’t!” He squirms in Benrey’s grip, but the guy’s got a tight hold on his wrists. So he’s resorting to surprise tactics to get the upper hand, huh? “What kinda werewolf are you? Scared you’re not gonna win if you don’t, fucking, scare me half to death first—”

Benrey barks out a laugh, cutting him off. His face is… really close, actually. Close enough that Gordon can smell his breath. It’s not exactly pleasant, but at least it’s drowned out by the, uh, the other things Gordon’s picking up on. The heady smell he’s come to associate with Benrey on nights like this: warm, musky, a little sour. A little overwhelming.

Then he drags Gordon out of that train of thought by gingerly plucking that beanie off of Gordon’s head. Gordon blinks. He’s got an arm free now, sure, but he’s not really thinking about that right now. His dog ears twitch from the sudden chill.

“no handicaps. fox only. final destination,” Benrey says.

He dangles Gordon’s beanie above his face, just within reach, but when the gears in Gordon’s head churn at last and he swipes at Benrey’s hands, Benrey yanks it away again. And again. It’s so goddamn hard to lunge properly when Benrey’s crushing his legs like this! And he’s just sitting there, staring at Gordon with impassive, heavily-lidded eyes. As if Gordon can’t tell he’s laughing in his little fucking circus show of a brain.

“Fucking— Give me that!” Gordon throws all his weight into it.

“try harder.” And Benrey just jerks it out of his reach.

It’s stupid. It’s so stupid. He’s a grown man. He doesn’t care that much about the hat. But he can’t drag his eyes away, either.

Wants it. Wants the hat. Knows better than to go after the stupid hat. He’s not an animal. He wants the hat. Benrey’s smirking at him. Something hot crawls up his shoulders - embarrassment. He almost snatches the hat in his teeth. They click together.

Click. Growl.

He wants it. He’s better than this. His heart’s pounding. He’s livid. He’s exhilarated. Benrey needs to quit fucking with him and let him get his goddamn hat!

“whassamatter?” Benrey taunts, leaning in closer. His nose is just inches from Gordon’s. “gettin’ mad? huh? gonna die mad about it, maybe—”

Gordon cuts him off with a sudden lunge forward, cracking their skulls together. All Benrey can do is grunt in surprise and draw back again.

“ow, what the hell, man?” whines Benrey. He gingerly rubs at his nose.

He’s not looking at Gordon anymore. He’s not braced evenly. The beanie dangles from his claws like an afterthought. Gordon wrests his body to the side in one last-ditch effort to free himself, and—

And Benrey lets out a strangled sound as Gordon rocks him off-balance, toppling him to the ground. Gordon’s on him in a heartbeat - he pounces, trying to shove Benrey flat against the dusty earth, but Benrey rolls and Gordon grips at his arms and they both tumble, around and around like laundry in a washing machine. It’s sloppy and chaotic and Gordon can’t keep himself from laughing, the thrill of physical exertion bursting out of him in a loud bark.

Eventually, their momentum grinds to a halt, and Gordon’s the one sitting smugly on top of him. Hat in hand. His tail thumps against Benrey’s side.

“You’re messing with the wrong guy. I’m in the zone tonight, man. Been doing a bunch of cardio lately,” Gordon tells him. Excitement and adrenaline make his words tumble out of him in a rush. “Black Mesa’s really good for jogging around, did you know that? And I’ve started doing squats at my desk, too. Got the idea from one of my podcasts. I think it’s really paying off!” Gordon’s tail lifts up, and it flicks back and forth erratically. Subconsciously.

Benrey’s eyes fixate on the motion, following it back and forth, back and forth. As if he’s not listening. “uh huh.”

“Hey, Earth to Benrey. Are you even paying attention to me?” he says testily, snapping his fingers in front of Benrey’s face.

“wuh?” Benrey blinks, but it takes him a solid couple of seconds to drag his gaze away from Gordon’s tail.

Irritation mounts in him.

————————-

Benrey squeezes him tight against his chest, one arm looped around Gordon’s upper body and the other around his stomach. A clawed hand scrabbles at the hem of Gordon’s shirt, worming its way underneath, broad and hot against his skin. Gordon sucks in a sharp breath - God, it’s so big that it almost spans the width of him when Benrey’s got his fingers all splayed out like that, as if he’s trying to palm as much of Gordon as he can in one go. And he’s a pretty big guy. That’s saying something.

Sharp nails dig into him, and he can’t help the nasal little whine he makes in response. Like he’s a fucking dog. (No matter how much dog hair he has to get off his sheets every month, Gordon Freeman is not a dog. He has a master’s degree, for God’s sake!) It’s, it’s just fear, it’s the expected human response to the very real threat of Benrey gutting him like a pig, and that’s all it is. Heart pounding. Sweating. Shivering. And the anticipatory flush that crawls down his face to his chest, that’s, uh, that’s a normal fear response, too.

Against his neck, he feels something cold and wet. He shudders visibly, and Benrey huffs through his nose. A heavy breath follows, hot, humid, and so close to Gordon’s ear that it makes goosebumps pebble on his skin. He’s… he’s sniffing Gordon. Panting, even.

“bullshit,” Benrey rasps. “been watchin’ you all night. you think you’re so smart ‘cuz you’re not just some… fuckin’… security guard,” he continues, voice low and throaty and right in Gordon’s ear, and he grips Gordon tighter. “but you’re stupid as shit, ivy league. i can smell it on you.”

Gordon chokes. When he struggles, he feels those pinpoint pressures sharpen, a warning not to move too much. So he tries to meter his breathing and keep himself very, very still.

“What are you talking about?” he bluffs.

Benrey sucks in a deep breath at the nape of Gordon’s neck. “fuuuck, gordon,” he slurs, before abruptly rolling them to the side.

Gordon’s flipped belly-up, still crushed against Benrey’s chest, and he yelps - he swears Benrey’s claws are gonna slip, his abdomen’s thrust up into the air, he feels exposed and vulnerable and incredibly fleshy, like, in a ‘carcass on a butcher’s block’ kind of way.

[and then they fuck i guess. Yippee]

#my art #writin stuff #(banging pots and pans) Did You Know Im A Big Goddamn Furry

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americanphysco · 2 years

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it's so weird that there's a subgenre of millennials online who will get pissed if gen z kids revitalize the fashion trends they participated in during high school, especially if they style/participate in them differently than they were styled/participated in back in like 2005. idk if you guys remember the flared leggings v yoga pants debate from last year but that's like a prime example of what I'm talk about. anyway I think this is especially strange bc a lot of gen z kids grew up with these trends too! even though you were wearing gap logo sweatshirts and leggings with uggs as a senior in high-school and I was wearing the knockoff version of that same outfit in elementary school, we both literally grew up with those trends. the generational gap between millennials and gen z really is not as big as yall like to make it out to be. I also wore skinny jeans and played the wii and remember when lip gloss and whale tails were all the rage. yall are not special. it's this weird thing where millenials and gen z feel a deep seeded need to dunk on each other (which is worse when it's millenials dunking on gen z kids bc thats like a thirty year old adult cyberbullying somebody who's too young to drive past 9pm) when in reality we had very similar upbringings. sure there are some differences of course but we both watched the same shitry infomercials and we both dreamed of having nickelodeon slime dumped on our heads and we both wanted to wear ugly eyeshadow. I'm definitely ranting here but I just don't get why this generational divide is treated as such a violent and clear cut thing. who gives a shit!! half of these "generational divides" aren't even real!! nobody is dissing eminem!! nobody is bullying you for having owned a hufflepuff sweater in 2011!! shut the fuck up!! there is no generational war!! let's just all play nintendogs, watch the suite life on deck, and chill the fuck out.

#oh boy a rant post #from me?#shocker.#you guys can rb this idc #for the record if it wasnt obvious im technically classified as gen z 😎 how swag and cool of me #levis greatest hits

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leporellian · 4 years

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how i got into opera (unabridged)

i realize i’ve never mentioned how i got into opera before and it’s like. it was a whole ass Odyssey and i really feel like confessing my sins today.

‘so how do you find a special interest’ watch this.

RIGHT so i actually was exposed to opera all the damn time as a baby because my grandmother thought, for some dumbass reason, that opera calms babies down. which she was apparently right so i’m not gonna debate that shit but has she ever been to an opera. literally every damn minute of the ring cycle could traumatize a baby. literally what the fuck. but that’s not where this story begins because i don’t remember ANY of that shit.

anyway so as a kid i was always on that bullshit with THESE fucking things

these were supposed to make your baby smart or something but they didn’t work because i have the processing speed of the fuckin Pony Express. but they were good. (except for the beethoven one, which terrified me. fuck beethoven.) they were like, soothing images/puppets/toys with a backdrop of classical music scored on a marimba, which was like CRACK COCAINE to an autistic kid like myself so i watched these until i was in 4th grade despite the box saying ‘for ages under 3′ which really shows you how ineffectual these were at actually making kids smart. now this was like, the opera gateway drug, because it buttered me up into liking opera/classical music, which is a CAPITAL Sin.

so by this point i already like classical music. unless it’s by beethoven because he freaked me the F u c k out. which is where...

PURRPALS FOR THE DS comes in

this game was literally a shameless nintendogs clone that was made to sell purina cat food. it was absolutely fucking bizarre. however i was a seven year old with a nintendo Dee Ess and toxoplasmosis gondii practically running in their Bloodstream i was on this shit like a hare in heat. but the important part of the gameplay was this guitar hero clone where you had to stage a fucking cat acapella group

it was easy as shit, being a badly designed game made for selling

PURINA

CAT

LITTER,

so i would immediately go to the hard levels, which were as follows.

- THE MAGIC FLUTE - RIGOLETTO - LA HABANERA - TORADOR

first of all these motherfuckers took one song from the magic flute and one song from rigoletto and said it was the WHOLE OPERA but THEY COULDN’T EVEN FIND A FOURTH OPERA SO THEY WENT WITH CARMEN TWICE. what WACKADOO Chicanery. also why the FUCK was rigoletto there it’s really the third wheel of this whole affair. anyway so since i played this shit regularly enough i was able to remember the song names, which, i had no idea what the fuck they were about but as a kid you never know what the fuck anything is about so i really was not bothered. i think i thought the magic flute was a ballet in the same cinematic universe as the Nut Crack Ker or something

anyway.

CHAPTER FOUR: THE FRESH BEAT BAND

I HATED THIS SHOW WITH EVERY CORE OF MY BEING. i don’t know WHY but i felt such extreme secondhand embarrassment when i saw this show at the ripe old age of seven that when the school’s music teacher, which was the same one that loudly declared her loyalty to Mitt Romney in class one day (which is a different but no less entertaining story) showed a clip of this to us it was the first time i realized nothing was stopping me from walking out of the school. (which i didn’t. because i was a pussy. but fuck this show.) there was some dumb ass episode where all of the characters were doing different music styles or whatever- i really wasn’t paying attention i was on the computer in the same room of the television looking up how much my littlest pet shop toys were worth on ebay- and then they start singing

LA FUCKIN HABANERA.

“i know that song!” i said, which sounds like joyful recognition, but in my head i was thinking something more akin to “WHAT THE FUCK THAT BITCH IS STEALING THE SONG FROM PURRPALS ON THE DS. LEARN YOUR COPYRIGHTS YOU HOE.” my parents immediately went ‘nah it has to have a different name’, which is when my ENTP really came out. i don’t believe in meyers-briggs but i got entp on the test and it basically means ‘stubborn little bastard who will start an argument with Literally Anyone” which is Kin Me Id. anyway i started being all ‘no i KNOW because PURRPALS on the DS told me’ so my parents were like ‘fine let’s just make the kid be quiet’ and looked it up on itunes. No Shit, i was right, because i knew my

PURRPALS

LORE.

so anyway my parents knew my grandmother was crazy batshit for opera, which my grandmother actually used to hate opera but then a friend of hers who liked opera killed herself and then she decided to listen and went ‘nah this is actually kinda a bop’, which again a whole nother story, so they immediately tell her that i know about opera. which i DIDN’T i just knew about PURRPALS on the DS. so now my grandmother decides “aight i’m taking the grandkid to carmen at the LYRIC OPERA HOUSE”.

i was seven and i didn’t know what ANY of those words MEANT. but my parents made me wear a dress and a purse so i figured it was an Occasion. (i filled the purse with nothing but goldfish crackers. they weren’t even in a ziploc baggie inside the bag i just dumped like half a carton of them directly into the purse.)

so anyway i liked watching carmen but it wasn;t like it was anything special to me at the time. like you could have replaced it with Madagascar 2: Escape 2 Africa and it would have the same effect.

UNTIL ACT FOUR.

my grandmother was never exactly aware of my reading abilities until i was maybe like, 13. she didn’t think i was actually understanding anything in the little program thing they give you. but i realized, right as act 3 finished, that carmen was going to be stabbed in the next act

ON STAGE

and i lost my shit.

“that doesn’t even make sense!” i told my grandmother as we left the building. (i thankfully didn’t make a scene but i was shaking like an abused grayhound, or some shit.) “don jose is a bad guy carmen would have stabbed him first.” (thankfully there’s a production where that actually happens. so some day i will sue them because they plagiarized from my filibuster in the lyric ladies’ bathroom about carmen when i was seven.)

“there are operas with happy endings!” she said. i wasn’t sure i believed her because i watched that one bugs bunny episode where they do wagner.

so anyway, like 7 months later my grandmother tells my parents she’ll take me to see the magic flute, also at the lyric, because it’s a child friendly opera, which, it’s

AN OPERA ABOUT FREEMASONRY CULTS AND RACISM AND SEXISM WITH TWO OR MORE ATTEMPTED SUICIDES AND A HITMAN PLOT

but by this point nobody really cared and this time i was sure i wouldn’t freak because i had trained myself into not crying at movies, because my parents didn’t allow me to watch movies that made me cry so i exploited a loophole, which again, another story. i knew about the magic flute vaguely because it was in Purrpals on the DS.

now that i knew what the magic flute was- vaguely, my grandmother told me nothing about it except that it was an opera- i asked my grandmother what rigoletto was. “oh it’s the same thing as the hunchback of notre dame!”

i still don’t know what the fuck she meant by this.

anyway i loved the magic flute- which had the same music as that baby einstein tape all those years ago so it immediately felt familiar- and as soon as i got home i went and decided that i was going to know everything to know about it.

and that’s how i got into opera.

#rambles #opera tag

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incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 5 years

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Pet Care: Assist Trophies

(Nintendog)

Waluigi is on the couch reading a newspaper. He feels a nudge on his leg. He looks down and sees Nintendog.

Nintendog: Arf!

Waluigi: Uh…..(gently tries to shoos him away)

Nintendog, rolling over: Arf, arf!

Waluigi: …(looks around to make sure no one is watching, and pets Nintendog)

Nintendog: (jumps on his face and starts licking it)

Waluigi: (tries not to cry from the cuteness)

——

(Burrowing Snagret)

Chef Kawasaki is holding a scrub brush while Vince walked behind him holding a bar of soap.

Kawasaki: I-I’m scared, Vince…

Vince: Calm down, old chap. We just have to find the creature…(looks around) Only problem is that it could be any-!

Kawasaki suddenly heard Vince going quiet. He turned around, and saw he wasn’t behind him anymore. He held the brush close.

Kawasaki: V-Vince? Viiince? (backs away slowly, but bumps into a long object and turns around) H-Huh?

Burrowing Snagret: …Squawk! (pecks him in the eye)

Kawasaki: AIIIIE!!!

——-

(Rathalos)

Zero: Okay, see the stick? See the stick? Go get it! (tosses a stick incredibly far)

Rathalos:(flys after it)

After a few minutes or so, it comes back.

Zero: Okay, boy. Where’s the stick?

Rathalos: (has Shovel Knight’s shovel in his mouth, with Shovel Knight hanging onto it)

Zero: Oh! Uh, sorry Shovel.

Shovel Knight: It’s quite alright, Young Zero. I intended to return here anyway. (Pets the Rathalos’ nose) Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?!

Zero, also petting the Rathalos: Who’s a good boy?

Rathalos: (similar to a dog, begins happily wagging his tail.)

——-

(Chain Chomp)

Isaac: Come on, Chainey. It’s time brush your teeth.

Chain Chomp: (whimpers, afraid she’ll bite Isaac by mistake)

Isaac: Hmm….Aha! (forms a giant and and picks up a tooth brush) Okay, Chainey! Let’s brush your teeth!

Isaac proceeds to brush the Chain Chomp’s teeth. He soon finishes.

Isaac: So, how’s your teeth feel?

Chain Chomp: (happily jumps on him, and begins licking him)

Isaac: Your…welcome……ow.

——-

(Klaptrap)

Knuckle Joe is walking Klaptrap down the street when he runs into Olimar walking Duck Hunt down the street. Klaptrap and Duck Hunt begin growling at eachother while Knuckle Joe tries to pull Klaptrap away.

Knuckle Joe: Sir, I am so sorry. Klaptrap is usually more behaved than this…

Duck Hunt and Klaptrap begin fighting.

Knuckle Joe, jumping between them: Hey, get off of him Klaptrap! Ow, did you just bite me?!

Olimar: (has no clue what is happening)

——-

(Metroid)

Tiki: (Carefully placing Metroid on Dr. Wily’s head)

Bomberman: What are you doing?

Tiki: Metty’s hungry and eats brain fluids…I think. Since Wily is the smartest Assist Trophy we know, I can feed her some of his brain fluids.

Bomberman:…I can’t remember enough Metroid facts to back that up, but go ahead.

Metroid: (Once placed on Dr. Wily’s bald head, begins eating)

Tiki: Don’t worry, Metty! With all the knowledge Dr. Wily has, you can eat without worrying about him later.

———

(Moon)

Ashley, Skull Kid, and Jeff are all sitting outside looking at the sky.

Skull Kid: Hey, you two wanna see an eclipse?

Ashley: Alright.

Jeff, handing out eclipse glasses: But those only happen every-

Skull Kid: MOOOON!

The Moon proceeds to float up and block the sun, creating an eclipse.

Jeff: …Nevermind.

Skull Kid: That’s a good moon! Gimme a hug!

The Moon slowly proceeds to come closer.

Ashley: What in the….

Jeff: Ashe, is that thing coming closer?

(Bell tower sounds)

Ashley: ….RUN!!!

The two proceed to run indoors and warn the other Assist Trophies. While the others are fleeing, Skull Kid is still outside, happily holding his arms out to hug the moon.

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #224

“i don’t miss you, i miss the misery.”

What’s a hobby you would like to try out? Digital art. What sort of a kiss do you count as the first kiss? A mutual effort to kiss. Like, you both purse your lips. What time is too early for you? 5:00 A.M. is generally when if I wake up, I'll go back to bed. Have you ever won a raffle? If so, what’ve you won? Yes, actually. I very faintly remember winning something up in New York at a bowling alley as a family when I was little. Idr what we won. What’s the most useless thing you have vast knowledge on? Probably Silent Hill lol, if we're talking about truly useless. Video game lore and such knowledge isn't exactly truly useful. Is there anything you feel you’re better at than anybody else? No. What’s the biggest insect you’ve ever seen? Uhhh probably some kind of beetle. How about the biggest spider? A bird-eating tarantula when I was at the reptile convention with Sara. When’s the last time you played Pac-Man? WOW, it's been years. I've only ever played it on my childhood GameBoy. What is your favorite winter Olympic sport? I guess ice skating is pretty, but I don't care about sports. You Internet dies; what do you do for the next little while? Ummm this is when I feel like a caveman lmao. Probably... play Nintendogs on my DS. I hate hate hate how reliant I am on technology. What was the last test you completely failed? Recently on my first math test of this year. I bombed it, but at least I wasn't alone I guess. Oh look, it’s snowing outside! Do you get excited? Hell yes. Is your room covered in posters, or pretty bare? My walls are coooooverrrrrred. What sport do you completely fail at? I went to a volleyball summer camp thing in school years upon years ago and that shit HURT. I don't think I stayed the whole duration of it. Do you ever question life and existence? Not really anymore. Why does it really even matter why we're here, just make the most of it. Admit it, we all love brand named clothes. What’s your favorite? I genuinely don't care about brand names. Would you ever risk having a house party when you’re parents are gone? Hell no. What are you plans for the future? Achieve a stable career, learn to drive and have my own car, buy my own home, move in with the person I love, have lots of pets, and most importantly just be happy and content. Is your cell phone on vibrate? It pretty much always is. Is your dishwasher full? We don't have a dishwasher; we have to wash by hand. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? I don't know many of their songs, but they're fine, from what I've heard. Have you ever played tennis? No, I don't have that coordination. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? I think so. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Who is the last baby you held? Colleen's son forever ago because she needed me to. Would you ever consider being a cannibal? Wow no. Do you have any scars from an animal? Possibly, idk. I have a lot of small scars. How have you been sleeping? Awful. I've pretty damn consistently been having screaming fits (I mean, actually shrieking) at night where I attack my bed from nightmares. I actually recently hurt my hand from it. I want to go to the doctor about it, it's really worrying me. Are you adopted? No. Do you like scrapbooking? I'm not really a crafts person, no. Do you collect anything valuable? No. How many house phones do you have? Zero. We only use cellphones. Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? I don't believe so, thankfully. What was the last thing you killed? I at least tried crushing a flea. Mom used some kind of spray on the dogs outside, but it resulted in them just hopping off them inside too, apparently. Whose number did you last get? I have no idea. Have you ever thought about stepping in front of a car? I mean, I've had like those passive thoughts; you know, like when you're up somewhere high and your brain tells you to jump. But never seriously. Have you ever lied down in the middle of the street? Don't give me The Notebook flashbacks pls sobs. Anyway, ha ha, yes, only because my sister wanted a picture of us huddled together when Misty was here? Everyone loves that picture though so thanks for taking it Jason, lol. Do you listen to explicit music? Some songs, sure. Have you ever used someone for money? I could never live with myself doing that. Do you own colored eyeliner? No, just black. When was the last time that you had a pet that died? Some time last year when we got two sick rats in a row. Have you ever tried peanut butter and bananas together? Yeah, pb&banana sandwiches are pretty good. Do you have any mental disorders? *opens notes* Chronic depression, crippling social anxiety, severe generalized anxiety, bipolarity II, AvPD, PTSD, and OCD W O W ! ! ! ! ! Have you ever had to live with a friend? Yes, when we got evicted in '17. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Hell no. Why does the little kid have leukemia? So God can scare you into faith to save the child he cursed with the disease? Why did my sick kitten get run over when I was a kid? Why was my sister almost raped as a teen? I could go on forever about this. Life gets a lot more bearable once you just accept the shit isn't fair and has no rhyme or reason. You just have to live with it. Do you believe in sex before marriage? I believe in sex once you feel truly in love with someone. Just be safe with it. Do you know anyone who married their high school sweetheart? Two, off the top of my head. Have you ever known anyone who died at war? I don''t think so. Who was the last person to hug you? My niece of nephew, I'm sure. Who is your favorite female celebrity? ... Wowie, why are like, all the ones I'm seriously invested in males. I suppose maybe Eugenia Cooney? Her recovery and development is like so fucking beautiful and I am 99.99% there isn't a sweeter person in existence. Were you nervous on your first day of high school? A little bit, of course. Three words to describe your best friend: Loyal, honest, and supportive as all fuck. Are you literally afraid of anyone? Yes. Who did you last take a picture with? My dad, I think? Literally forever ago? Who was the last person to comfort you? Sara. Who was the last person to unsurprisingly disappoint you? Mom. If she says "yeah we'll do (whatever)," don't hold her to it, ever. If you answer a question wrong in class, does it embarrass you? YEAH. What’s your favorite Lady Gaga song? "Bad Romance" is the shit. I also really like the "Love Game" remix with Marilyn Manson in it. Would you date someone who smokes? No sir. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? Why or why not? That's an even bigger "no sir." Would you date the same sex? Why or why not? Well yeah, 'cuz I'm bisexual. What’s your biggest turn off? Physically, bad hygiene. Personality-wise, being full of yourself and overly-confident is such a turn-off. What’s your biggest turn on, physically? Do. Not. Touch. My. Boobs. Where would you go on a first date? Me personally, I think a safe bet is the movies. The first date is always so nerve-wracking, so a movie takes away some of the pressure to talk as much as you can. HOWEVER, I think it's very important to have bonding/getting to know each other time, so I think having a meal together is a nice addition. Most hurtful relationship? The ending of mine and Jason's. Ever regretted breaking up with someone? No. Have you ever dated someone more than once? No. Do you miss any of your exes? I mean, I miss Jason as a friend, though I know it's probably for the better we no longer associate with one another. What’s your biggest turn on, NOT physically? Romance. Act respectful, like you truly love and want me as a partner. Obviously see me as your equal. What is the sweetest thing someone you dated did for you? Probably Sara actually listening and not getting jealous or annoyed by me talking about my occasional bad PTSD days. Last time you got flowers? A random day Tyler came over when we were dating in early '17. Are you ready to get into a serious relationship right now? I'm in one now. Do you like cuddling? If I romantically like you, I am a total cuddlebug. Do you regret dating anyone? Why or why not? Idk. I wanna say Tyler, but I mean, it tested my ability to say "fuck no I'm not dealing with (whatever trait)." Most important lesson you have learned from dating? DO!!! NOT!!!!! EVER!!!!!! RELY!!!!! ON A PERSON!!!!!! TO BE!!!!!!!! YOUR SOLE SOURCE!!!!!!!!!!! OF HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!!! What does it take to get you on a date? I mean, ask? Be clear that you're interested in me? Are you happier single or in a relationship? In a relationship. I just feel like there's some sort of validation I'm an interesting and/or fun person. Favorite ex? This is a... weird question. I mean, Girt is the only one I remain in contact with and adore as a friend, but I was VERY easily most in love with Jason. How important are looks? I really can't say I care much. I mean yes, it's harder to be sexually attracted to someone you don't find visually pleasing, but I've dated people I wasn't physically attracted to before, and looks didn't hold me back from dating them or being romantically attracted to them. How do you know when you are in love? Oh, you know. I can't really explain it, you just like... know. If someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them? NO SIR-EE. Have you ever been ashamed of anyone you were dating? No. Favorite memories with an ex? I don't want to ponder this for my PTSD's sake. I have a novel of "favorite" memories with him. Would you name a child of yours after you? Ugh, no. I honestly hate that. Like... it seems so egotistical, and why would you WANT to?? Like... that's your name. I just don't get it, at all. Obsessions? Markiplier is ACTUALLY the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, & I love lots of other YouTubers (no others really to the point of obsession tho, I'd say.... well, maybe Game Grumps), m e e r k a t s, the Silent Hill series, uhhhhh maybe that's it as far as real obsession goes. Perhaps Shadow of the Colossus with how many times I've played and beaten the thing. Addictions? I'm perfectly aware and regretful of just how reliant I am on technology. I turn into a caveman without it. I'm proooobably addicted to soda, fuckin' rip. Do you speak another language? Not anymore. I want to take German again, though, to refresh my memory and further improve, but I only really plan to if I have serious plans to visit Germany. Do you have a webpage? I have a Wix for my photography that I spent eons on jc. Do you live in the moment? Honestly, I don't feel so, most of the time at least. I'm always worrying and thinking about the future. Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? I'm, for the most part, extremely tolerant, though I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing that I'm becoming less so with time. Like ex., now, I seriously don't think I could be your friend if you don't support gay rights. There's just some shit I see as so ridiculous that I don't want to associate with you and give you my tolerance of your bullshit, hateful opinion. Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? I'm 23 years old. What are your #1 priorities in life? My happiness, my health, Sara, my pets. Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? Yeah. Certain types or urges in different situations, my religious anger and spite, my absolutely malice for my sister's horrid dog that for whatever fucking reason lives with us and not her... that kinda stuff. I think mostly just things relating to anger. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Hey anxiety, could you like?????????????? fuck off???????????????? Do you think you are emotionally strong? I will fucking NOT associate with your ass if you think I'm not after all the shit I've been through. Period. Not up for debate. What is your first name? *intro to B. Spears' "Gimme More" plays in the distance* Who was the first person you spoke to in person today? My mother. What was your first pet? The family cat Chance. If you mean like, actually mine, either Squeak the guinea pig or Shadow the Chinese water dragon. What was your first job? A GameStop sales clerk. How long was your first relationship? In my puppy-dog love middle school experience, maybe like, a couple of months? My first real one was three and half years. Who was the first person to break your heart? If you mean in any form, not just romantically, my dad when he abandoned us. Romantically, Jason. First person to give you flowers or candy on Valentine’s day? Other than my loved ones, Aaron, my 7th grade bf. First band you obsessed about? Truly obsessed with, Ozzy Osbourne. I loved Green Day as a kid, but it wasn't an obsession. First place you lived? Along the coastal plain/Piedmont border in North Carolina. First alcoholic beverage? Mike's Hard Lemonade. gud shit. First place someone took you on a date? I think Aaron and I went on a group date to the rollerskating rink first? That was a great day. Can you do a backflip? I'd break my neck, homie. Are you listening to anything right now? I'm binging Mother Mother. "Letter" is on right now. What do you do when you can’t fall asleep? Do exactly what you shouldn't do and get on the laptop, lmao. What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone? There's something I told Jason in my first letter to him after the breakup that I honestly... don't know if it was a lie or not. I was so goddamn hurt that I'd say almost anything. I don't want to talk about it, though. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same sex? She's my girlfriend of two years, I'd hope she woulda by now, lmao. Have you ever been engaged and broke it off? Nope. Have you ever found pictures on your camera you don’t remember taking? I don't think so. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? I don't believe so. WAIT. Tyler drew a picture of me and him, I think? At least she had my common outfit. Have you ever dated a redhead? No. Where is your favorite place to go when you want to be alone? I'm always in my room alone, so like- Do you have any nieces or nephews? Boy, a lot. Do any of your friends have children? Yes. Is there anything you’re craving right now? I've honestly been a horny POS for forever now. What caused the last argument you had? My sister's mother-in-law being a homophobic piece of garbage. What was the last movie you watched? Good question. It's been a long time. Where were you the last time you kissed someone? The airport. Where was your last paycheck from? The day I worked at the dollar store for two hours and got $9 lmao. What was the last school you received a degree from? My high school. What did the last key you used go to? My house. Don’t tell me lies, so is the last person you texted attractive? She's gorgeous. Have you ever thought about getting your tongue pierced? I have snake eyes now, which I got done twice, because the first time, it was pierced too far back, so the swelling of my tongue literally started to swallow/heal over the bar. :') But it was worth it; it was by far the most painful piercing (the second time actually made me nauseous), but it's my favorite. What’s the background on your phone? My lock screen is fanart of Darkiplier & the simple picture impregnated me; my home screen is Sara and me. Are you a parent? To pets. :') How are things between you and the person you are with? Great. Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? Idk, my mom, probably. If you have a birthmark, where and what color? Yeah, exterior of my right arm. It's a slightly darker brown that the rest of my skin. When was the last time you felt nauseous? A while back. List three things that make you feel nauseous. THE SOUND OF VOMITING, even preparing to attempt to pick up pet shit, and uhhhh, how am I blanking. I guess certain smells? Idk. Do your parents support your dreams? Yes. List three of your favorite types of YouTube videos to watch. Comedy ones between friends, let's plays, and Mark's character ones are a unique and Supreme brand of video. What is your favorite park? Idk, I haven't been to many. Do you get fireflies where you live? Yep. What is the name of your YouTube channel, if you have one? 0zzkat (it's a zero). Do you wear the same shirt and shorts multiple times before washing? Only pj pants. If I actually go out in clothes, no, I change. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topiiiiiic. Has a medication ever given you nightmares? Yes. I can't remember which it was, though. And I suppose one I'm on now might be causing them? Would you rather be surrounded by maple trees, fir trees, or palm trees? MAPLE!!!!!!!!!! How many different states have you lived in? Only one. What’s your favorite thing to do on a hot day? Swiiiiiim. Do you know anyone who’s allergic to bees? I don't think so. What does your favorite bikini look like? Sweetheart, nobody wants to see me in a bikini. What is your favorite thing to do at the beach? Swim. Do you think you are attractive? Nope. Who have you hugged in the past month? Mom, probably, and I actually think that's it. Are you good at recovering from injuries? Uh, I mean, I guess? Do you have more piercings or tattoos? They're tied at six, actually. Last bad news you heard? Some guy recently tried to break into Nicole's friend's house while she was home alone, but she scared him off with a shotgun through the window. I'm still not fucking over it. Last good news you heard? I got a 94 on the final test for the book we read in Writing. What was the last thing you posted on a Instagram? I only ever post photography on both of mine, so some picture. Do you prefer to live alone or live in a family? I wouldn't know; I never lived alone. What states have you visited, that you remember? New York, Florida, Virginia, South Carolina, and I recall Ohio VERY faintly. Oh yeah, and Tennessee, but that's a vague memory as well. OH, HOW DID I FORGET ILLINOIS?????????? What countries have you visited? I've never left North America. What are five careers you’ve considered? In chronological order, some that I've considered are paleontologist, vet, movie designer, game designer, and photographer. What do you wish your hair looked like? I really wanna dye it silver rn. Do you still feel anything for the first person you fell in love with? I still care for him, yeah. I guess I'm in a way still protective of him, too, as I saw very clearly when a tornado landed in his general area this summer, and I felt like a total mama bear that desperately wanted to know if he was okay. I know in my gut I'd probably knock a bitch out if he was seriously hurt. I know, the absolute apex of irony. Who was the last person you called? Mom. Do you take pictures on your phone? Very rarely. My camera SUCKS. How old were you the first time you encountered God? Oh, brother. Have you ever hallucinated? In middle school when I was coming off of a medication, I saw moving shadows. Do you struggle to get by? I'm not the one who cares for myself financially; I still live "under" my mother, but oh yeah, we struggle alright. Who is the best looking male celebrity, in your opinion? ggggggggggggggggggIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLL looking at him forces me into ovulation lmao y'all done know who it is. Do you use Snapchat? No. Do you know anyone who’s colorblind? Jason's brother was colorblind to I believe red and green. I know it was two colors. What is your favorite time of day to run? Run???????????????? If I run, bitch you best be running too. What’s a show you remember the very first episode of? Meerkat Manor and That '70s Show are quite clear. I'm sure there are others, I just don't care to think too long about this. Do you hate sleeping in? If I need it, not really, but generally, I don't want to sleep past ~10:30. How late do you consider too late to sleep in? 12:00. What is something of yours that is falling apart? Ha ha ha, the very first thing that came to mind was our poor shed door. Hurricanes have legit torn most of the white paint off of it to where it hangs in strips. It looks so bad; I've told my mom so many times to just tear them off, but she thinks it would look worse that way. When was the last time you saw your crush? February. Sobs loudly. When was your due date, and when were you born? I was due January 20-something, but was born on February 5th, but only because my mom was induced. Do you want to have kids? NO. What website do you usually check first when you get online? KM, just to ensure it's not on fire.

#survey #questions #quiz #random #bored

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jessicaj27-blog · 5 years

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Somebody save the Nintendogs!

I’m just going to be really honest with all of you right now, I haven’t properly played a game since Nintendog’s were the popular trend in 2005. That’s right 14 years later and my beautiful golden Labrador named Bella, must be soo damn hungry right now!

(Image source from Amazon)

(image sourced from: GIPHY)

Let’s just have a quick flashback of the cringy games I used to play as a seven year old, just for laughs. There was:

DS: Nintendogs & an Ice Age Game; which name escapes my mind.

PSP: Shrek & a unicorn/ horse riding game!?!?

PC: Zoo Tycoon (which was the best!)

You could really tell what the trends were for seven year old girls at the time, couldn’t you? *insert embarrassed/ nervous laughing here*

Anyways, back to games, more specifically people who game, and why they bother?

(Image sourced from GIPHY)

Personally, I am a movies, tv, and music type of humanoid; and you might say that gaming is foreign territory for me, except for Games of Thrones of course *wink wink*. Did you see what I did there? I’m hilarious! Get a stage ready for me at the Melbourne Comedy Festival!

Games come in many forms… video games (PC, DS, PSP,PS, Wii), mobile apps, board games and even social games such as Tiggy and Cops and Robbers. Oh the primary school flashbacks are starting to hit me.

According to Caillois (Many, Play and Games 1961), Games are appealing to people because they are:

Free: playing is not obligatory

Separate: circumscribed within limits of space and time

Uncertain: about the journey, it is not predetermined

Unproductive: creating neither good nor wealth, only an exchange is the exception

Governed by rules: suspends ordinary laws and establishes momentary new laws

Make believe: second reality or unreality against real life

So in summary, I can play Grand Theft Auto by choice, when I want, not knowing what I will do in the game session, for an exchange of enjoyment and escape from real life, and run over as many ladies of the night and pimps as I wish without consequences, such as jail time for murder.

(Image sourced from GIPHY)

When in reality, Law and Order CI/SVU like detectives would probably be knocking on my door within 24 hours with a pair of handcuffs and a jail cell with my name on it, for murdering civilians.

I understand why people would play games, to escape the boring constructs of the ordinary life. But some people get obsessive over games, take ‘Sims’ for example.

(image source: Wikipedia)

The Sims, according to the ever so trustworthy Wikipedia (I won’t tell that is was used, If you don’t), ‘is a series of life simulation video games developed by Maxis and published by Electronic Arts’, players can create and design their own homes and avatars. When this game was released I remember my older brother being obsessed with it! I mean spending hours and hours in The Sims, as soon as he got home from school.

Caillois would describe this type of gaming community as ‘Mimicry (simulation) players’. The Sims and other simulation games allows the players to escape from reality and become illusionary characters.

I think that games like this do have a God-complex, that people play it because they like the power. If you’ve had a shitty day at real life work, you could kill your sim. The God-complex can be really scary, as some sims can be really dark. For example putting a baby on a BBQ. Yikes!

(Image sourced from GIPHY)

But, I think that’s why people like games, they play for entertainment, pleasure, power, anger and procrastination.

Even though my heart lies with movies, tv and music, I might have to crack out the DS and show my Nintendog Bella love much needed love.

References

Caillios, R 1961, Man, Play & Games, New York: Free Pr, New York.

#nintendogs #sims #grandtheftauto #social gaming #gaming #games

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havsgast · 6 years

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Give me a random fact about yur ocs! @3@

Umm. Many ocs. This not specific. ALL THE OCS.

i have no idea how my thoughts work… sorry… ANYWAY

in the order they appear on my oc page:

Asteria: She will grow up to be the queen of lipstick. Like, an instagram dedicated to it. Her lipstick game will be fierce.

Original Lethe: You’d think he isn’t a natural redhead because of the very vivid shade of red. You’d be 50% right. He’s a natural redhead but he dyes it to be a stronger, more vivid red. Don’t ask what he did before red hair dye existed.

High School Lethe: He has never abandoned a Nintendog. He also never bought a DS. He can’t remember who he “borrowed” it from.

College Lethe: Will suck dick for Ramen. Spends too much money on clothes, tattoos, and piercings so he can’t afford food. How is he a math major. (he was gonna major in music and minor in math but fucked up somehow and got it switched)

(Not on OC page) Lethe Blishwick: Somehow never attended potions class. Not clear if the Potions teacher knows that he exists.

Original Raiden: Although he’s a black swan-human hybrid, he has never seen a swan. No, not even a white one. Not even in a book. He doesn’t get out much.

Human Raiden: Believes that cosplayers actually are the characters but doesn’t believe in Santa.

Lucas: He can speak Korean and grew up with Korean cuisine and culture but he doesn’t know where in Korea his family is from. He doesn’t even know when his family came to the states. It’s not spoken about and he has no idea why.

Annie: Although right-handed, she can only use chopsticks with her left hand.

Imani: He doesn’t leave the home without an umbrella. No matter the season.

Étienne: Hates restrictive clothing. Would wear nothing but yoga pants and oversized sweaters if his family allowed.

Gomeisa: He will fight you if you harm a bee. Doesn’t matter if you’re a stranger, his boyfriend, or the goddamn president. He. Will. Fight.

(Not on OC page) Nox: Her adoptive papa is a century-old vampire but that doesn’t stop her from staring down anyone who as much as looks at him. She’s extremely protective of her papa.

(Not on OC page) Haven: Never wears matching socks. Haven’t since before they started dressing themself, and even then they would cry if their socks matched. Before they were proven a Squib, their parents were sure that they would use accidental magic to get mismatching socks.

#ocs #so many #i almost added amadeo and philemon but... they're not technically ocs...#also there's probs tons of oc's i made to interact with these that i could've added #like lucas' boyfriend #but then this list would never end

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bespectacled-girl-blog · 7 years

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oooh I have a request! The boys and how they play video games, what kind of games they enjoy most and if they have any guilty pleasure games that they hide from the others 😘

Thank you so much @cupnoodle-queen for that request, I really enjoyed it, and I hope you’ll enjoy reading it!

Noctis :

Of course, Noctis loves RPGs, his favourite at the moment is King’s Knight. He loves games like Skyrim, the Witcher, games in which he can lose himself and forget about who he is. When he goes to the arcade he likes to play FPS, and often end up beating Prompto, who’s a better shooter IRL. Noctis comes out of his reserve when he plays, and he becomes so much more vocal and cheerful, he just looks like a normal guy of his age when he starts playing. He’s a sore loser, and will often not talk to his friends for hours at a time when he loses. He’s not used to it, because most of the time thanks to his position people let him win. At first Prompto did that too, but Noctis once demanded he gave all he had instead of letting him win, or he would stop playing with him altogether. He may have regretted that afterwards, because he was never able to beat Prompto at Mario Kart after that.

Prompto :

Prompto, like Noctis, loves RPGs, he was the one to discover King’s Knight in the first place, and he’s the one who spends the most time playing it. He’s just like his true self when he plays, kind, cheerful, over enthusiastic. He also loves cute games like Mario, Crash Bandicoot or Zelda. He’s also a sucker for Pokemon. When he’s alone at home he sometimes plays horror games like Resident Evil or Silent Hill, although he doesn’t play more than a few minutes at a time because he’s way too scared and has to stop to look at pictures of kittens. If he doesn’t stop he squeals like a little girl, to the point that once one of his neighbours asked him how was his little sister when meeting them in the stairs.

He won’t admit it to his friends, but Prompto loves life simulation games in which he takes care of a pet who becomes his best friend. He absolutely loves Nintendogs, and has a whole bunch of pet dogs whom he never forgets to feed and take care of.

Gladio :

Gladio is good at King’s Knight, but he plays it more to beat Noctis than anything else. Beating Noctis and boasting about it afterwards to infuriate him is one of his main motivations for playing. At home he likes to play survival games, any kind of action game that involves using physical strength. When he gets to chose his character, Gladio will always go for the strong type: Tank in Overwatch, Warrior in World of Warcraft, any big and dangerous character is his to play. He sometimes tries to remember their moves to redo them at training, and one or two of his most dangerous techniques originally came from a game and were adapted to his style.

When he really wants to relax though, he forgets about action games and choses to play logic games instead. He doesn’t look like it, but Gladio just loves to solve riddles and use his brains to complete a complex game. He’ll love it even more if the story and graphics are worth it.

Ignis :

Ignis doesn’t usually play video games. He sure downloaded King’s Knight on his phone, but that was solely so that Noct would leave him be with that, and he almost never plays, except when the guys convince him to join them at camp. Like in everything he does, he’s very calm while playing with his friends, even when he loses. He will only put his phone away, saying it’s “nothing special” and that he has more important things to do anyway.

But at home, when there is nobody to watch him, Ignis loves to play games in which he doesn’t have to abide by the rules. Depending on how his day went, he will either chose to play Tekken (when Noct was particularly trying for example; he will imagine he’s beating the shit out of the prince just to soothe his nerves), or GTA, just to be able to let it go and do all the things he will never do in real life. If you could see him then, you might be a little frightened when hysteric laughter escapes his lips after accomplishing a particularly vicious deed :D

Also, he plays the Sims, and he built a house in which there are four characters, named Sleepyhead, Chocobutt, Big Noodle and The Boss. He absolutely loves to have The Boss repay the others for everything they make him put up with.

#ffxv #final fantasy xv #ffxv headcanons #headcanons #video games #ignis #gladio #noctis #prompto #chocobros #ignis is a psychopath

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shsl-shipper-gamer-fangirl · 7 years

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A/N HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED CHILD, CHIAKI.

Games-Giving - wherein Nanami gives out games to the rest of the sdr2 kids

Somewhere in between the crammed spaces was a logical explanation as to why everyone was packed into Nanami's already condensed cottage.

Initially, she wanted to bring her stuff with her to the lobby where it's much more spacious but looking back at her hoards of console she knew that it would take too many trips and by then someone would have walked in and ruined the surprise for the rest. Besides, wasn't this a surprise in its own way? Granted there's barely enough room for them to breathe and much less to play but it would have to do. Once everyone had settled in as much as they could possibly have, Nanami started handing out the games and necessary consoles.

"Hanamura, you're getting Cooking Mama." She says and before he could be offended at a cheap knock-off of real cooking, she explains her choice. "I know how much you miss your mom... I know that the mama here isn't exactly like yours, maybe. But I figured it might help with the homesickness hopefully."

He looks at a loss for words. "This is... a wonderful choice." And before he could get sappy, old habits kick in. "I'll have you know that you are an exquisite choice yourself. You don't need to flatter me with gifts if you want to spend a good time with me."

She listens quietly, unresponsive. And then stoically turns to her next recipient. "I got you Fat Princess. It reminded me a lot of you while I was playing. It has food and strategy, I thought you'd like it... I guess."

Twogami chuckles and it is a genuine heartfelt laughter. He's more than happy to know that he was thought of especially by his one defining character trait. "It's a worthy recommendation. I shall hold back my judgement until I finish it in all of its glory."

She takes that as a sign that he likes it so she turns to meet the curious stare of a redhead. "I got you Life is Strange. It's about this photography student but it's less about taking photos and more of time travel I think... The protag is a girl with short hair and her freckles reminded me of you coincidentally."

"Oh, wow that's some... weirdly specific coincidences." Koizumi admits it's not quite the game she was expecting. She expected a typical point and shoot (with a camera) game but definitely not time traveling.

"Her name's Max so I guess you both have names starting with M." Nanami adds and then tilts her head in inquiry. "Are you okay with this? I can get you something else."

"And miss out on time powers? I think not." Koizumi just shakes her head. Sure, why not? It'd be a nice experience to see in someone else's viewfinder for a change of perspective. "Besides, where else am I going to find a game that stars a girl and photography?"

She nods in agreement. Before Nanami could move on to whom she had planned for next, Saionji beats her to the punch as she unceremoniously jumps onto her. "Me! What about me? What did big sis Nanami get for me?"

She hands her the game with an excited smile. "I think you'll like this one... Bully is an open world with the usual freedom of Rockstar games."

"You had me at bully." Saionji grins deviously.

Nanami shakes her head. "It's not exactly that kind of game..."

"But I still get to do the stuff I like, right?" She smirks and breaks into childish cheer. "Yay! Thank you so much for this! I'll play it to my heart's content!"

She then turns to the nurse who jumps at the sudden attention. "Mikan, I got you Trauma Center. I know it's far from the actual thing but I'm not exactly sure how... different it is." There's a certain genteleness in the way she hands out the game. And shyly, she asks, "Is it alright if I ask for your feedback on this?"

Mikan is still shocked from the experience of affection that it takes her a beat or two to stammer back, "T-Thank you! I'll cherish this forever!!" She cries as she holds onto the game tightly to her chest. "You can count on me! I'll be sure to point out all the inaccuracies."

"Thank you, too." Nanami then turns to the more if not the most excited member of the group. She smiles as she gestures to the whole setup behind her. "Ibuki, you get rockband... The full set."

"Awesome! Ibuki has always wanted to play on these!" Ibuki hollers and she's already at the drums while holding both the guitar and the bass. She looks just about ready to play all instruments at the same time. "The frets on the guitar are buttons! Kyaaah! How wild is that!"

Nanami can't help but get carried along with Ibuki's energy. She's still smiling when she turns to Pekoyama. "If it's sword slashing precision then the best I have is Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. You'll probably appreciate the free slicing blade mode rather than the button mashing on most games... I think."

Pekoyama gratefully accepts the gift with a bow. "This is quite thoughtful of you. Thank you. I will try my best to master the fighting style here."

"And when you get bored of that, take a break and play this instead..." She hands her a portable console this time and when Pekoyama opens it, the game is already on and it's absolutely adorable. "It's Nintendogs. Now those fluffballs won't run away from you... probably."

"I..." Pekoyama's speechless but that's mostly because she's distracted by the puppies hounding at her screen. No animal has ever approached her with such zeal that it catches her off-guard. It's a surprise that she's more than willing to welcome. She locks eyes with Nanami and her lips tug slightly into a sincere smile. "I will remember to return this goodwill of yours."

It doesn't go past Kuzuryuu who watched the whole exchange. When Nanami turned to him, he was caught unaware and so his defenses shot up. "Heh, so you're giving away games based on what we do? Don't tell me you got me one of those dumb trying hard yakuza themed games."

She shook her head. "I don't think you'll like Yakuza that much so I suggest Mafia as a better alternative..." She innocently tilts her head. "Then maybe it's better when you think it's a different culture?"

"Ha! You got a lot of nerve thinking I'll play crap like that." He scoffs at her.

"I'm not. I think you're more respectable than that... maybe." She says not quite sure what she wants to mean. She gives him a different game instead. "This is Undertale. I think you'll like the Fight or Mercy mechanics. You'll choose well, probably."

"Hmph, whatever." He crosses his arms but his expression softens. She got him a game with a pacifist route and he appreciates the gesture. He murmurs, "But thanks anyways. I guess I'll give it a try when I've got nothing else to do."

"I'm sure you'll love it... I think." Nanami crosses the room to the other half of the class and Sonia catches her eyes first. "I was trying to find a game where the protag is a princess but it was hard so... I just went for the game with an... intense female main character. Tomb Raider's a classic and you're pretty hardcore like Lara Croft."

Sonia reads through the summary at the back with sparkling eyes. "Oh, I have always wanted to go on my own expeditions without royal guards hounding me!" She claps her hands in her excitement. "I think this is just a lovely game filled with action and adventure! Thank you!"

"Ah, Gundam." She moved on to the next person on her list. "I know you don't like games about breeding animals since you consider them..." She squints as she tries to find the exact words that he used. "An insult to the actual gods?"

"That is correct!" Gundam agrees with a scowl. "Those are outright blasphemy! Why waste time on fakes when there are actual gods among us? If I were not such a forgiving Dark Lord then I would have rained judgement on all of those atrocities!"

"But is it okay as long as it's not based on actual animals?" She asks with uncertainty. She didn't want to offend Gundam but she's not sure how well he'll take this suggestion of hers. "Monster Rancher is a classic for your type. You get to learn about raising a whole bunch of new species that are literally out of this world... Here, look."

Gundam inspects the game with a snarl at first but as he goes through the monsters, he finds himself more intrigued rather than disgusted. A whole new world to conquer, huh? He breaks out into raucous laughter. "Feast your eyes on these poor lost souls! The time has come for the Tanaka Kingdom to recruit yet more unearthly races! Cower in fear as our strength increases right before your eyes! Bwahaha!"

"Oi, do your delusions more quietly! Nobody cares!" Souda shouts but it falls onto deaf ears since Gundam is already absorbed in raising his first monster. He doesn't want to accept being ignored but then he remembers that he hasn't gotten his game yet and so he turns to Nanami with expectant eyes. "Man, looks like everyone's getting good picks. So what do I get? Is it cool? It's definitely cooler than dork lord's over there, right?"

Nanami's smile is playful. This one was trickier to find but it was an achievement to finally get it. She pulls out a box and brings out its contents. There's the game and console and... a mini-robot. "Meet R.O.B., he's your partner for playing Gyromite."

"This is..." He gapes over the robot and his hands roam over across the plastic, he's already picking it apart in his mind and deciphering how it works. He expected a game but he did not expect it to come with its own mini-robot. His eyes are shining and he almost looks in love. "This is fricking sweet."

Even Nanami thought it was cool and she's sure that Souda thinks of it a tenfold more. While Souda was busy mooning over his new toy, she sets up Owari's. "I couldn't find anything close to your ideal but... Wii Sports is close enough, maybe. As long as you strap on the remote and keep your distance, you can play boxing to your heart's content."

"So I basically beat people up by actually beating them up?" She shouts a battle cry and gets fired up on the spot. "Yosh! I'm game for this!"

"Nidai, I got you FIFA Manager among other coaching games... I couldn't decide which one would be your favorite." She adds that last part shyly but he takes them with a smile as always.

"I'm the best at managing my players! I'll even be the best in these games of yours!" Nidai lets out a hearty laugh. "I'd watch out for your highscore if I were you."

"I'll take that as a challenge." She then turns to the last two of her list.

Komaeda is already wearing his trademark lopsided smile and is eager to see what new hope would be born out of this. "I'm grateful that you would even consider giving me a game- the embodiment of your hope- when I'm trash undeserving of such greatness. I feel bad that you bothered thinking about me when I'm worthless."

Nanami lets out a sigh and her hands are on Komaeda's face in a heartbeat. "Stop talking like that or you won't get yours."

"But I don't-"

"Stop." She puffs her cheeks while she pinches his.

"Ow! Okay, okay. I concede." He chuckles and even raises his hands in a show of defeat. "I'm still new to this whole thing about people thinking I'm worth more than I really am."

She stares at him for a long time, judgingly, taking his words into careful consideration. She huffs again and releases him. "Close enough."

"Well you do inspire me to try, you know." He smiles and there's laughter dancing on his lips. "The truth is I've never been this excited in my life! Oh, aside from that time I received my acceptance letter to Hope's Peak Academy that is."

Somehow he always brings back the conversation to hope. She shakes her head and there's a small smile forming. "Here. Try this."

He takes the phone in his hand with the camera on and it surprises him slightly when something else appears on the screen. "Uh, Nanami? Is there supposed to be a creature here?"

Her hand quickly swipes the phone out from his grip and her face practically beams. "A Lapras! As expected from Komaeda's luck!" She flicks her finger a few times and by the fifth pokeball, she catches it with a triumphant smile. "I've been looking everywhere for her. Thanks for helping me out."

"No problem." He chuckles and then inquires, "So I'm guessing that wasn't actually my game."

She smiles shyly and then hands him his true gift. "That's Legend of Mana and it's legendary for its unique luck system. Almost the whole game is rigged on luck... I think."

"I see. Then it is fitting for me." He smiles broadly. "As expected from the ultimate gamer. Instead of bringing me the usual games, you hand me an excellent rpg. I will not let you down and maximize my luck just as much as your hope inspires me!"

"As long as you have fun." She giggles and there's a cough behind her. When she turns around, she sees the only person who has yet received a game from her. She smiles wider. "Hello there, Hinata."

"Uh, hi." He flushes and then straightens himself after a shaky breath. He fidgets from being too tense for his own good. He's nervous even though he has no reason to be. He looks like the only person who's afraid of what he's about to get. "I know I don't have any talent and all... so I'm sure you had a hard time finding a game for me."

"Oh, not really." She objects readily and she makes sure that her voice comes out as reassuring as possible. She finds his worries odd especially when there's no trouble at all. "Actually... I picked out yours first."

"What?" He shoots her a look of confusion. And when he holds the game in his hands, he feels absolutely lost. "Danganronpa...?"

"I feel like it's life-and-death important for you to be good at this." Nanami says in a tone that's too serious to be talking about just games. And then in the next moment, she's back to her laidback self. "By the way, it's a series and I've already finished the latest one: New Danganronpa V3 or ndrv3 for short."

"Um..." He's still staring at the game and trying hard to read its hidden meaning but he comes up with nothing. He feels that there's a joke somewhere in there that he's missing. "Wait, so how did you end up picking this out for me?"

"Just an important feeling... probably." She casually shrugs. There's something cryptic underneath her words but he doesn't have the code to decipher them and so he just loads the game with skepticism and caution. She nods at him approvingly. "When you're done with that one, I'll lend you the second one. I'm sure you'll find the sequel more... interesting, I think."

Nanami pulls out her own portable console and continues the minigame she left off. Every now and then she looks up to check on her classmates if they needed any help but they're too engrossed with their own games, some more loudly than others. Playing games with everyone here is different from her usual peaceful solitude but it's a good kind of different. It's nice, she thinks.

And in this crammed cottage of Nanami's where everyone is busy having fun, she thinks that everything is as it should be.

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cafephan · 7 years

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dan and phil play my horse prince #3: a summary

two seconds in and already a questionable horse impression okay time to strap in for another weird one

"i knew you were going to start clopping"

clopping??? klopping???? clopping looks better so i'm going with that

"cloppity clop when will we stop.... is the question many of you have been asking" aw they saw my tweets

dan licked his lips as he looked over to phil SAME

he is wearing the ladybird jumper so i agree

remember the ladybird jumper selfie??? let's take a moment

okay back to the video

it was a nice moment of remembrance though right

anyway

"i like a good divisive series"

"this is our great youtube controversy, phil"

those people that are uncomfortable, it's legit the same level of sexual tension dnp have on a regular basis just in the form of a girl and horse like,,, it's 2017 the hat/cherry/lung/milk/kitten/whatever else fic exists there are more disturbing things out there

they're validating those of you though, good for you i'm happy for your notices

"it's not literal bestiality" // "it's just a lol" "a nice little lol... just a casual lol"

"i think we should do this one and see how we feel" i mean finally putting that positions book to good use

there's not much eye contact so far are they okay

i think recently we've been spoilt with eye contact and now we're feeling like something's wrong because they're not gawking at each other

"so whether you want to or not, strap yourselves in for ten minutes of erotic equine roleplay"

phil demonstrating that sweet sweet hand porn

"i don't think we should've encouraged you with the fanart" story of your life innit lads

congrats to those phanartists that got noticed!! you're very talented and i appreciate you!!!

i appreciate the last one which highlights the shaved sides i liked that a lot ty

"the less we talk about that the better" legit the phandom about 2012

dan's reaction to the fanart,,, get those screenshots

"keep it coming.... or don't, it's up to you" phil pls you're making it too easy for me

"do you need to do that though?" // "i do, it's a thing now" living for the little domestic i feel deprived

"dog. dog has a moustache."

"phil that makes no sense" as if u never make any mistakes howell phil's waiting to call you out like the absolute savage that he is

remember the thomas the tank engine fuck-up, phil was right on that

phil's laugh my ears are blessed

they have two very different reactions to a horse making breakfast

i found another of dan's kinks who's keeping tabs on them all we've got another to add to the list

"what's a good... lad? one that makes breakfast, the morning after" is that a subtle wink wink nudge nudge, daniel

"i'm hyped. this, this is, this is a soap." dan is so excited he's tripping on his words

he's staring at phil okay world order has been restored

"you know you love it, stop lying to yourself" // "you love it. just thumbs it up anyway, if you don't like it"

i love the detailed hair angles we get when they both look down on the screen i appreciate it a lot

do you think phil will ever ditch the straighteners

"that's really posh" phil the savage already getting his revenge

congrats hp stans for phil dropping that reference

did they just compare all of our mums to a horse

"anyone that exudes glitter and makes sure that you're resting on the weekend... that's who you need in your life"

"maybe susankun's on the crunchy nut like us" i bet you both are

maybe see a doctor about that

i'm not sorry

"am i the dog? i think i'm the dog" phil says after barking and effectively claiming the role of the dog

"you just frickin volunteered" dan the savage

"that was some good borks" so any excuse to compliment phil huh

"what is this video" me every time i read these summaries before posting them, i relate phil

"some good pottery"

"unless this is a magnetic knife, how is the horse holding it? with that horse thumb he's just gonna grow?"

dan demonstrates the claw technique

look at that hand movement fluidity this ain't his first rodeo

dan... are u ok.... you've just been in this position for four seconds...

turned into seven seconds, the longest seven seconds of my life.... is it one of the new 7sc they tweeted out for

“can i stroke him?” // “i’ll give him a stroke”

lanky emo lads fawn over hairbrush functions

that sounded like a weird porn didn’t it oh god no

“look at this roleplay, we nintendogs now”

“oh yeah, feel my brush”

dan gives that side-eye, he doesn’t like phil saying that to anyone else

the singing quota for this video has been filled

thought they were going to give us a sweet harmony for don’t speak and do no doubt proud but nope dan decides to parody it

this is not the harmony i wanted stop singing a weird cult theme or whatever the fuck it is

leek or spring onion will we ever know

phil is intent on killing simulations recently is he ok

“sorry guys” dan is on hand to comfort us

may need to rethink some comfort fic prompts i have

“is it okay? is anything about this okay?” if the existential crisis branding was still relevant he’d be on the floor rn

“shall we have a chat? a little horsey chinwag?” yes phil come back to your northern roots i’ve missed you

“a really long-faced chinwag” you tried dan but you will always be a southerner you can’t pull off chinwag

“is a carrot a fruit?” mister university asking the real question

is dan actually googling it

“AHA it was to catch us out for being an idiot!” i mean, you googled it so.... aren’t you still an idiot

phil is an orange kinda guy, dan is a grapefruit kinda guy...... explains a lot if you think about it

“he hates me again!” // “i can’t believe he hates me again, straight away...” pretty sure i’ve read that exact line of dialogue in a fic before

“what can i say? i’m more in tune with my inner.... horse... man”

casual head scratch as he silently prays for nobody to pick up on that quote

“deep fry anything, and that’s a winner”

“the choices hurt me so bad”

trying to justify this game just falls flat

no amount of meaningful speeches are rectifying it dan

but it’s not stopping him trying

oh he’s stopped now

“i think we should get our things back”

“this is our life” enjoy u demons

“great. i love my life” phil i just don’t even know what to say stop looking like you’re showing a lemon a good time

take out the lemon and stare at your wavy haired companion

if i used that line in a fic would you disown me

what kind of accent did dan just try to say field in because he sounded like me

“a horse can’t go on rollercoasters is what i’m thinking” // “can a horse go to the cinema?” “no, he’s going to get in the way of everyone’s screen” wow dan and phil, damperers of horse dreams since their corresponding years of birth

“yes, dan’s credit card is about to spend more money on this horse app” of course it’s dan that volunteers his card, phil would never

he’s the voice of emo goose he only spends money on luxury apps

mister moneybags high brands stan has no problem forking it out tho good for you son get some

“i am this entire developer’s number one supporter” me when dapg was announced

the frenzy time music is something special

“phil you’re doing the impossible quiz again and that is like ten out of ten banned” younger kirsten is crying

phil’s real laugh comes out to play again welcome back old friend i love you

“is she falling in love with the dog? is that what we’re asking?”

phil’s voice is like monotone throughout all of these videos he couldn’t give less of a shit

he’s just humouring dan’s kink(s)

dan stop criticising phil’s horse voice you can’t have it all for yourself all of the time we need as much of it as you do

“i am ready for this” me whenever they upload on a day that’s not the same day i’m posting a fic

there are very different theories about the multitude of onions

again phil’s includes death

i’m beginning to expect it

“oh he’s gone a bit sassy”

“passive aggressive.... okay” dan we feel the same way when we found out phil’s sent a dm

“i feel it coming.... i feel it coming... are you ready? am i ready?”

“that’s just dreamy. i’m in love with that” // “that is dreamy. i’d like that as a poster in my bathroom”

“that is the thickest spring onion i have ever seen in my entire life” // “it’d take a lot of gnashing” phil demonstrates said gnashing thank you for showing those teggies

“look at the girth on that one” you know what you did dan don’t blame us when the fics come rolling in

the onion fic

“how do you not love this? people, i mean come on, this is better than the current season of the walking dead”

uncomfortable fidgeting as dan realises he’s pissed off hundreds of thousands of people

staring at phil again yes i’m living

“this is better than the wire” phil doesn’t want to leave dan all alone in the opinion firing line

“it’s turning into that cake outtake from tatinof” HOW DARE YOU.

feeling less guilty having watched it now u fuckers

“it’s literally the cake situation”

seriously i’m going to watch it again just to spite you both

“imagine a horse pushing you against a wall and force-feeding you spring onions” dan i love you but i’m going to have to reject this prompt

the game turns sinister and they both look the most excited they’ve looked for the entire video

“this is fulfilling every kink that our audience might have” in which dan tries to push his weird kinks onto us out of fear phil will judge him

“is the next one set in the afterlife?”

“i feel like i went to a place i didn’t think i was going to”

“so real talk, let’s get real” phil i like that you’re trying to get close to the camera but you’re still too far away it’s not doing what you think it’s doing

“if you don’t want us to do this ever again...” “what’s wrong with you” honestly dan same

they’re literally encouraging thumbs down??? how long have they been in the youtube game???

“tell us your opinions down there” oh dear god they’re encouraging the fanfiction

“if you want the horse, we want to give you the horse. you know what we’re saying?”

it’s hard to quote when they’re both talking at the same time BE POLITE AND LET EACH OTHER SPEAK

“this is a two way relationship...” why did phil’s smile grow when dan said that

“slice our subscribe button like a spring onion” // “please don’t stab your laptop and/or mobile device” // “trot over to our other channels”

danisnotchoking (but he wants to be)

AmazingSpringOnion

#I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LATE #i was watching ant and dec and my parents and i were waiting for our takeaway #it took an hour longer than it should've #so i only had time to finish this now #but this was fuuuuuuuuuun

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karmen-dioxide · 6 years

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anyway remember the two guys who ran the dog shows in nintendogs that was some #gayshit

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weeklyhumorist · 5 years

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Yes, I Kidnapped You, But It’s Only Until My True Crime Podcast Takes Off

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Yes, I did kidnap you. And yes, I did take advantage of your trusting nature and our years of friendship in order to lure you into the back of my Honda Odyssey with the blacked-out windows. But don’t worry! You only have to live in this dank storage unit in my backyard until my true crime podcast takes off.

Prime Crime Time with Ryan Blime is the show I’ve dreamed of making ever since I legally changed my last name for the title. But I couldn’t find a true crime story riveting enough- even after two whole hours of interviewing people in jail yesterday. (Everyone’s convicted of the the boring “stab-and-grab” these days, I guess. The one guy I found who robbed a bank while sleepwalking just didn’t have a voice for radio.)

I had to take things into my own hands. I’ve been feeling really confident in myself lately and I’m not about to wait for success to come knocking on my door anymore. No- I’m going to go get it, I’m going to go out there and take what I want! Seize the day! Seize you, kidnap you, and take you to this musty metal box in my backyard!

Exciting, right? My career is finally about to take off. Though I do feel a little bad the perfect crime story involves you having to pee in a bucket in the corner of a pitch-black metal prison.

That’s why I’m really trying to get things rolling with the investigation- I’m even sending the police a severed finger to jumpstart things. Calm down- it’s not going to be your finger, do you think I’m crazy? It’s the finger of a fresh body I grave-robbed last night. (See? We’re all making sacrifices here.)

Anyway, I want you to be comfortable in this cold and musty metal box that’s only steps away from my home and working toilet. I brought you a sleeping bag, a pillow, and even my old Nintendo DS with a Nintendogs game cartridge if you get bored. I realize I did forget to bring the charger – gosh, what catch-all drawer is that old thing hiding in?- but you can play it until the machine dies, leaving you encapsulated in the suffocating darkness of this steel prison. Look, I left you Super Mario, too!

I realize how unfair this is to you- I mean, you’re going to miss your five minutes of fame because you’re locked in this poorly insulated metal box I rented from PODS. But wasn’t it you who once told me “friends help out friends” after you lent me your truck to move that couch from Craigslist? And remember just last year, when I picked up your kids from school one time because your wife was having a breast cancer scare?

Thank God your wife is perfectly fine, by the way. Because someone has to watch your kids while the cops are investigating your potential murder and disappearance, and childcare is expensive these days.

Really just relax and enjoy! There’s also no cell reception and no Internet, a perfect retreat from our “go, go, go” society, I think. I’m jealous you get to be trapped here, honestly, I am. I wish I didn’t have to work this week and we could just chill here, listening to the collection of awesome Now That’s What I Call Music! CDs I brought for you.

Oh shoot- I that reminds me, I forgot to bring a CD player didn’t I? Where would I even get one these days, haha? It’s okay, just sit tight and listen to the sound of your harrowed breathing and the neighborhood cats in heat. I’ll bring something else to do when I come back from interviewing your parents in Temecula tomorrow.

And hey! Since I posted on the Prime Crime Facebook page this morning, we’ve already got three new likes!

Well, I’ll be back in a little while. I have to go shoot the shit with some cops at the police station and casually ask about your disappearance. Thanks for hearing me out, buddy. You can take the duct tape off your mouth now.

Yes, I Kidnapped You, But It’s Only Until My True Crime Podcast Takes Off was originally published on Weekly Humorist

#funny #kidnapping #murder #podcast #satire #true crime

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alicedoessurveys · 7 years

Text

30 Questions

01. Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? Addison wanted to go karting on Sunday but I had to decline cause it costs £30 and I literally have minus £3 in my account

02. Do you need to get anything from the store right now? If so, what, and why? don't need to get anything but there are some things I would like to get

03. What did you last bake? Did you bake it for a special occasion? havent baked for a few weeks and I can't remember what I made. I did cook today though. I cooked hunters chicken lasagne for my parents and tuna pasta bake for myself

04. Have you ever had to take a stool or urine test? Why did you have to do this? had to do urine test a few times when I was a kid, I can't remember why. the last time I had to do one was a few years ago when I was in hospital with chest pains

05. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? cereal

06. Is there a food you eat that others find weird or gross? I like ham cheese and ketchup toasties and I always get weird looks when I ask for that at my local cafe

07. Do you have Oovoo? I dont know what that is

08. What was the last fast food restaurant you went to? Did you get anything? If so, what? mcdonalds last night on my way home from rehearsals at like 11pm. I got some nuggets and a mcflurry

09. Can you remember the first video game you ever played? What about your first video gaming system? first video game was probably either nintendogs or zoo tycoon

10. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? alone

11. If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? nope my macbook doesn't have a disc drive

12. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? normally just close the laptop screen down

13. Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? yes, a friend at church was an extra in Penelope, Pirates of the Caribbean and a few other films

14. Do people ever drive down your street really slowly? Does it creep you out? no, I live on a main road so people always drive too fast

15. Describe the last shirt you saw that you really liked. Where did you see it? I almost bought a knitted jumper yesterday from Asda but I was too poor. it was a sky blue/grey sort of colour and it had a low cut back and it was so soft and warm

16. Do you live in a very diverse community? I guess idk

17. Did you waste your first kiss, or did it mean something to you? Do you think that people should save their first kisses just like their virginity? waste. I wish it didn't happen. and it gave me a cold.

18. Do you know anyone who has had salmonella? Did you ever have it yourself? What about e coli? nope

19. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? sometime earlier this year, it was just for routine vaccinations

20. Do you get motion sick easily? If so, does it prevent you from going on any rides at amusement parks? nope, im quite a good traveller. i do get car sick if I'm sat in the back and were going fast on really curvy roads. I don't go on park rides anyway so motion sickness wouldn't make any difference

21. Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? yes, I have a flea bite on the top of my foot

22. How many weeks of summer do you have left before you have to go back to school? its autumn now and I'm not in school anyway

23. Are you allergic to anything? If so, what, and what is your allergic reaction to it? im allergic to flea bites, and I have an intolerance to cows milk

24. Do you go pumpkin picking every year? Are you planning on doing so this year? me and my sister started a new tradition last year to go to this pumpkin farm in Stratford

25. What about apple picking? never been

26. Have you ever made your way through a corn maze? yes

27. Name something that you used to do with your family that you no longer do with them or at all? we used to go camping in a trailer tent or caravan and my sister used to come stay with us too but we don't camp anymore. we stay in a mobile home instead because tents aren't really practical with foster children.

28. Who was the last member of your extended family to visit? Where were they visiting from? my cousin I think, we don't get family visiting us that often really

29. When was the last time you went on a train? Where were you going? beginning of this year. I went to London with my sister to see Aladdin the musical

30. Have you seen “Inception” yet? Thoughts on that movie? nope

#survey #long

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #472

“we don’t deal with outsiders very well / they say newcomers have a certain smell”

Does your favorite uncle have any children? Yeah; he has one son and a daughter. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? I don't. I'm selfish with my alone time, and I want to live for me. I don't want to essentially hand over my life for someone else, give my all for them, and then I wind up not being enough. I don't want the financial burden. I don't want to be responsible for another human being. There are so, so many reasons I don't want kids. Does a career in finance sound interesting to you? Noooot at all. When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, but you also wouldn't catch me dead cooking beans. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? No. What’s something that’s been bothering you lately? I've been pushing it to the back of my mind to avoid panicking, so I probably shouldn't even talk about it, but I worry quite a bit that Girt will eventually leave me because of me not being "adult" enough, like having a job, a car, knowing how to do basic adult stuff... you know. I don't feel like he will, given just how devoutly he's been by my side since HS, and especially now that we're together, I'm working harder towards those goals, but still. I worry it'll happen. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? I've never had a severe one. What was the last show you binge-watched? Psych with Girt. I quite liked it. Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. What’s something that bothers you more and more as you get older? Political issues. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Girt. What is your favourite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Just your normal tomato sauce. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? ... In my bed. :x Do you think your ex ever loved you? Yes. Have you ever had a filling? For my teeth? Yes. Should tattoos be meaningful? Get a tattoo for whatever reason you please. It doesn't necessarily have to be meaningful, no. Do you think wisteria trees look cool? Get a wisteria tree. Do you like to eat strawberries? Get a strawberry. There doesn't need to be a big story. Do certain times of the year remind you of certain people? Yes. January is like... all about Jason in my head because within that month is his birthday and our former anniversary. Are there any negative points to being in a relationship? Uh, there's probably something. What the most recent good news you’ve heard? Just today actually I got a phone call about some genetic testing I had done to see if I carried the malfunctioning gene my mother has that makes her more prone to certain types of cancer. My sisters and I all got tested, and all three of us are good! Our pancreatic, breast, and ovarian cancer risks are the same as your average person walking down the street. Would you hug your bf/gf’s best friend? I don't know his best friend. I don't think I would upon just meeting him, though. Who was the last person in your family to have a baby? My older sister. Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Mom wouldn't care less, while I don't really know about my dad. Not that it would matter what he thought. Do you like when friends stop by unexpectedly? NO NO NO NO NEVER DO THIS. I have to be mentally prepared for company. How strong are your feelings for the last person you kissed? I really, really love him. It's funny how wildly my emotions flipped from platonic to romantic with him just by giving it some deep thought. How close are you to the last person you hung out with? Can you be your complete self around them? We're very close, and yes. I'm still extremely shy for him to know some things, but ultimately, I'd tell him a whole lot. Is music a daily part of your life? Usually, anyway. Did you go to your high school’s graduation? Yes. Did you do anything sexual last night? Naw. Do you think the last person you Facebook messaged is a virgin? Doubt it, he's been in at least one serious relationship before. Ever want a monkey as a pet? I would absolutely fucking never, even if it was moral and possible to give them all they need as a pet. I've never been that into monkeys, anyway. What’s the scariest bug you’ve ever seen? I've seen a massive stag beetle at least once and it was such a fuck no. Do you think it’s alright if people baby talk to babies? Yes...? They're unfamiliar with the world and need gentleness to establish trust and a positive bond in general. There is nothing wrong with treating babies like, well, babies. Ever take a nap in a hammock? I don't believe I've ever fallen asleep in one, but I definitely used to just chill out and close my eyes on the one we used to have at my old place, under the shade of the trees. Who’s the best character in Rugrats? I don't have an opinion on this, surprisingly. I adored that show as a kid and had two video games for it. Pop-Tarts or Toaster Struddels? The latter. But both are tasty. Ever want to make out with someone, anyone, didn’t matter who? Er, no. I have to love you. Smack someone on the ass lately? This question is worded so uncomfortably lmao but no. Someone smack your ass lately? Still an uncomfortable question but no. Do you like puppies more than adult dogs? They're cute, but no. Adult dogs are generally calmer and actually know where to use the bathroom. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I plan on dyeing my hair for a loooong time if it's something extra I can afford. Is there a historical figure you find interesting? If so, who? The first person who came to mind was Pharaoh Hatshepsut. Girl power, man. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I guess maybe my dad having done serious drugs for a while. I don't know if anyone would've told me that as a kid. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? I've never vandalized, period. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? SPICY SHRIMP FRITAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS <3 What is in the back seat of your car right now? I have no idea what's in the back of Mom's car, actually. I don't pay attention. What was the last thing you threw up? I'd assume whatever I had for dinner with the medication that made me vomit. What color is your mom’s hair? Since chemo, it was growing back completely gray, so now she dyes it black. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? Yeah, no. Not even entertaining this. I'd rather die. If you swapped genders for a day, how would you spend it? Ha, it's weird, the first thing that came to mind was "how would I look in makeup?" because men in makeup can look like fuckin babes so I guess that's what I'm doing lmaooo. Have you ever been to see stand-up comedy? No, but I would. I think it sounds fun. Have you ever been in a submarine? No, but that'd be cool. Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. I wish. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Ohio. Have you ever appeared on YouTube? lkajsd;lkfjae yes Have you ever planted a tree? An apple tree, yes. Which celebrity do you find the most annoying? I don't care. Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? She can animate pretty darn well! Have you ever written a song? Guys when I was a little kid I wrote a song to the Nintendogs theme fucking kill me Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? My grampa on Dad's side used to, but he's deceased now. He would do that for me and my sisters, and I always thought it was so wild, because it was like, a lot, and this man barely knew us at all because of how far away my dad's family is. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? No. Do you know anybody who has a birthday in November? I mean I'm sure I do, but no one off the top of my head that I know well, anyway. What monster would you be most afraid to have in your closet? Ghostface bc I've been afraid of him since I was a kid, and I HATE knives. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? I don't know if I have a favorite. He's also just in so many movies though that I could never think of all of them. Have you ever been abused by a police officer? Yikes, no. Do you know anyone who is very ignorant? Boy, do I. I know plenty. When was the last time someone said something mean and offensive to you? I don't know, and I'd rather not try to remember. Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? ?????????????????????????? NO????????????????????????? WHY WOULD I WANT THAT????????????????????????????????? Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Straight. Name 3 YouTubers you would like to meet in person: Markiplier obvs, Rhett & Link are a pair channel, so I count them as one unit, and uhhh just one more... Snake Discovery/Emily & Ed. I could hang with them, man. What makes you more creative? Music. Have you ever slow danced with anyone? Yeah, one person. Who’s the last person to send you a message on Facebook? My sister Misty. She's making me this really cool Halloween-y wreath to keep on my door year-round. She's really good with crafts and is making some beautiful ones. What’s the last magical thing you experienced? I'd rather keep it private, but the general gist is just realizing how much I love someone again. Were you raised religious? Yes. Didn't stick. Never felt "right" or "at home" in any religion. If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? I hope I would. I feel like growing up poor, it could go either way. I do THINK I'd use it pretty wisely, at least. Maybe go a bit too hard into things I seriously love (like tattoos), but then be really stingy in other areas. Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? In general, yes. My favorites are still all shades and tints of red. Got any nicknames that you rarely even use? Not nicknames I use nowadays, no. Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? I’m fine being female. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? Absolutely, because of how little I've accomplished. Based on your running speed, what animal would you be? Like, a tortoise probs. :^) Can you read in public? Only if it's quiet. Pokemon, Digimon, GI JOE, Barbies, or other? Pokemon, duh. What’s something that makes you really stressed out? Not having a job, to name one thing. Are you any good at science? I've always been really good at (most) science, actually. Like language arts, it's just something that naturally "clicks" for me. Do you go on any forums on the net? Just KM right now. Got any secrets you honestly can’t say to anyone? It's not that I can't, like I don't have any deep, dark secrets that would rock someone's world if they knew, there are just things I'm never sharing. Believe in voodoo? Nah. What’s something you’ve tried really hard at? To be a decently successful photographer, but let's not get me started on that travesty. :^)

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''heathens'' by twenty one pilots

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