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pearwaldorf · 5 months

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I hate that you can't see a tweet thread anymore if you're not logged into Twitter (as a gesture of disrespect I refuse to call it by its rebranded name). Here is a copypasta of a thread from Dan Olson, a Canadian documentary filmmaker, expanding upon camera quality, the guilt trips Somerton used to goose his Patreon subscriptions, and how the best tools will never make up for lack of dedication or patience. I have added clarifications in [[double brackets]] where I feel it is necessary.

START OF THREAD

Okay, so, back in April I snapped at James in reply to a tweet that was linking to this video (which James has since delisted but not deleted) and I want to talk about the full context of that but I don't want to make a video, put your beatdown memes away. [[The video has since been deleted. I can see the title of the video is "Maybe the end (not an April Fool's Day thing".]]

The first bit of context is that I initially got keyed into James to fact-check his claims about indie filmmaking in Canada. As a filmmaker the entire Telos venture was immediately obvious as a juvenile fantasy dreamed up by someone with no idea how to make a movie.

Just wild claims about their plans that weren't worth debunking because they bordered Not Even Wrong. But in watching one of these pitch videos I noticed that he had a $4000 current-gen camera in the background as a prop, and that seemed both pretentious and weird.

You don't use your best camera as a prop, you use your second best camera as a prop. So being an obsessive weirdo I needed to know, and I watched his BTS stuff until I spotted his main rig, a $6000 camera with about $1000 in accessories.

Now, these in isolation are unremarkable because his Patreon at the time was bringing in ~$8000 per month, his channel was a full on Business business, and so investing in some professional equipment of that level is maybe a bit indulgent but justifiable.

What was weird is that he doesn't shoot multi-cam, doesn't shoot outdoors, doesn't shoot on location, and in a studio the two cameras kinda really step on each others' toes. Basically if you already have one and don't need a B cam there's no reason to get the other.

Again, on its own, this says nothing, it's just indicative of poor financial decisions, maybe impulsive purchasing, Gear Acquisition Syndrome. Biblical sins, but not crimes.

Paired with the constantly inflating fantasy scope of the Telos films it was clearly an expression of a very, very common bad filmmaker habit of "if I just get the right gear then my movie will basically make itself" Buying stuff because it feels like progress.

At the end of February he tweets "I want to start shooting anamorphic" and then three weeks later in March he posts the worst, out of focus, under-exposed "I just got a new lens!" video I've ever seen, showing off his trash-covered bedroom.

Based on what's available for his cameras and the lead time, that's enough time to get a Laowa Nanomorph or Sirui Saturn from B&H but not enough time to get a Great Joy from the UK or a Vazen from China. And with the flaring blah blah blah, $1300 lens.

Again, [gear acquisition syndrome] is not a crime and these lenses are budget options. Bit of a pointless impulse purchase since he only used it for the Showgirls video. But this is what he was doing just a few weeks before that above video came out: effortlessly impulse purchasing lenses.

James has (had?) a habit of regularly, aggressively driving viewers to Patreon by claiming that videos were getting demonetized. While tacky, it is something a lot of queer YouTubers have dealt with, so there's precedent there. But people were noticing he did it a lot.

Mid-March he humble brags about needing to work so hard to make 6 videos in April because he has over-booked sponsorships.

Then March 29th James posts this whole incel screed on Twitter about how sex work should be "subsidized as a mental health service."

[two image descriptions.

1. "For the majority of people sex (and human contact) can be imperative to a healthy state of mind. A kind and talented sex worker can make someone feel wanted for the first time in their life. I know sex workers who have pulled people back from suicide just by being there for them." 2. "Not only should (sex work) be legal, but it should be subsidized as a mental health service."]

He spends several days getting absolutely *roasted* for this, just dragged across the pavement and read for filth, and doubles down in the replies the whole way.

So this is the context immediately surrounding James waking up on Friday, and posts the above video and the below tweet.

[image description: "We just got the lowest Patreon payout we've gotten in well over a year. Like, a "maybe we need to rethink things" kind of amount... NOT an April Fools Day thing btw. But I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer."]

Now, this unfolds in kinda two directions. The first is that I'm convinced he was just lying about this income shock in the first place.

There's a million theoretical edge cases about what maybe happened and if maybe he just misunderstood the data or saw a glitch and panicked, maybe one of those happened, I don't believe it, I think he just lied because he was salty about getting dragged and felt owed a win.

A big tell to me is that he doesn't blame Patreon. He says he doesn't know what happened, but let's be real, Patreon screws up all the time, they're the first people anyone blames if anything confusing happens, just as a reflex action, even if it's completely not their fault.

The only reason to not blame Patreon is if you already know that it's not their fault and that any investigation on their part might reveal embarrassing details.

Instead he indirectly blames his viewers for not watching enough, not sharing enough, and not turning on auto-renew.

So regardless of the unknowable truth, this segues into the second, far more offensive direction of the messaging itself. "I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer." "Maybe the end" He explicitly framed this as an immediate existential threat to his channel.

In the video he is vague about everything, leaves a ton of hazy room for plausible deniability on how long the channel can keep going, but the messaging is "I need more patrons right this minute or my YouTube channel is over."

He repeatedly evokes all the "fun stuff" they had planned that would never see the light of day if this didn't turn around right away.

And his audience received this message loud and clear. Tons of people making far, far, far less than him left very heartfelt messages about digging a little deeper to subscribe or up their pledge or unsubscribe from other channels to move their pledge to his.

1200 new patrons in one day.

Since I simply don't believe the income shock was real in the first place that would put his post-"Maybe the end" Patreon income at around $10,000 per month. US. Add YouTube income, he's spent the last seven months making around $18,000 per month.

I have seen creators scale back their capabilities to the bone purely to keep making videos for the love of just, like, making stuff even as their funding evaporated and they needed to go back to a desk job to cover their bills.

You'd have to be so outstandingly reckless with your finances as a channel that a one month spook leads immediately to "channel over, sorry about all the fun stuff we won't get to do with you, our patrons, specifically because you, our patrons, aren't giving us enough money"

And not a spook where you then spend a couple weeks crunching numbers. Oh no. A shock so violent where less than two hours later you're weeping on camera about the channel being over.

Three weeks later he brought a brand new Sony FX6v for $8000 CAD to add to his pile of cinema cameras despite the fact that he was, but scant moments earlier, in such a precarious position that a single bad month would kill his channel.

He stole your money, and for that I'm profoundly sad and angry. That's why I snapped at him in April. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the full context then, and I'm sorry if that anger upset you.

END OF THREAD

#james somerton #dan olson #hbomberguy #jesus christ tumblr #it won't let me format things the way i want #because this website is sometimes a piece of shit

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chaifighter · 5 months

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Rewatched Pacific Rim Uprising the other day with my sister and god. Just. What a masterpiece of funnybad cinema. Mako’s never-mentioned-before brother is the main character alongside a girlboss teenager whose homemade jaeger curls up in a ball and rolls like Sonic. Mako dresses like a flight attendant now. Drift compatibility is no longer a measure of your connection to another person, instead it’s something you’re ‘good at’ or not. Raleigh died offscreen of cancer years before the movie but this is only addressed in the novels so when you’re watching pru you’re just wondering why no one even mentions him. (There’s a moment after Mako’s death (she died bc her never-mentioned-before brother’s jaeger fumbled the pass on her helicopter lmaooo) where you see a memorial with her, Stacker, and… one of the Russians? Not Raleigh? Why did they not put Raleigh’s face there to at least communicate that he’s dead?) The Jaeger program inexplicably still exists even though there are no kaiju. The government was trying to defund Jaegers in favor of the sea wall even when the kaiju were still around and tearing through the wall like tissue paper on a weekly basis, why are they still funding them when the only demonstrated use case is as oversized cops that can barely navigate a city street. Anathema Device is there just to be the pivot in the world’s blandest love triangle (semi resolved by a winky implication of a polycule? Okay sure I guess). There’s an evil black Jaeger which exists for no reason conceivable outside of Doylist apologia. One of the Cool New Toys Jaegers is just a normal big robot with a spike ball on one arm it looks so fucking stupid. Charlie Day is eating up every scene he’s in and Burn Gorman is having the time of his life elbow deep in kaiju guts. (The two of them and their scenes are genuinely great zero complaints but they’re living in a different movie than the rest of the characters.) (Okay for real I have to address it Newt and Hermann are genuinely so good in this movie 1) for what and 2) fucking how? Why is Hermann mucking around in kaiju entrails He Would Not Fucking Do That but Burn is having so much fun it works somehow. Newt’s wretched fashion sense bad mandarin and shitty plastic sunglasses have bewitched me utterly I need to study him. Elevator cane beatdown. Hermann they’re in my head. The breathless little smile on Newt’s face when he sees Kaiju Voltron (yeah three kaiju turn into one bigger kaiju. Like Voltron. Don’t worry about it).) The monster is trying to blow up the earth by throwing itself into Mount Fuji???

#pacific rim #pacific rim uprising

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destinygoldenstar · 9 months

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As a kid watching Ninjago, I was just interested in the flashy powers, and the heroics of the main characters, like any kid would. Like, 'Aw these guys are so heroic and selfless and awesome'

But now as an adult, when I recommended my GF the show, I specifically said "This is Family Issues: The Lego Cartoon"

Honestly, Jay likes to complain and hide his upbringing, but he's probably the ONLY ninja with any resemblance of a normal happy childhood and backstory. He has two loving parents who supported him, and was an aspiring inventor.

You could argue Fritz Donegan rectified it, but Jay didn't know this, so how would this affect how is childhood turned out?

At worst, he was dirt poor, living in a junkyard and all, but compared to what the rest of his team went through, I think they'd WANT what Jay had.

Nah, instead most of Jay's trauma and emotional baggage is in the present.

And who else do we have?

We have a robot who didn't even know he was a robot, or had any idea of his identity or memory, so much so that he was just... wandering around the land with amnesia. (Then, you know, everyone thought he was weird)

We have Cole, who grew up in a harsh family background where his dad forced/pressured his kid to be a musician, and canonically suffered depression and bad violence habits after the loss of his mother/during her illness. (Idk about those other Royal Blacksmiths if they are in the family or not, but either way they didn't seem supportive)

Kai and Nya's parents up and vanished from their lives at ages five and three, and they had to raise each other all by themselves with just a blacksmith shop. Basically means they were forced to end their childhoods right there, especially Kai, because older sibling. And there's no indication they had any friends or anyone to help them in their town, at most there was that one lady that they hated, so... ouch.

And... Lloyd.

Just Lloyd.

Half of the show is just Lloyd suffering.

Born as the son of a man forced into an evil oni maniac, said father ditched his entire family.

Mom decided it was a good idea to abandon her kid in a boarding school about villainy. (That's like, the ONE thing I genuinely think the movie did better than the show.)

And that school heavily bullied Lloyd and even exiled him, forcing him on the streets, basically

Everyone hates him and doesn't help him (until Pythor)

Gets tricked by Pythor

Gets kidnapped by Serphantine

Nearly dies in lava

Is given a destiny as the savior of all of Ninjago where he's forced to be on opposite sides of his father, and part of said destiny involves him needing to kill him

AGAINST HIS WILL MIND YOU

Was LITERALLY forced to give up his childhood for this destiny

Was tortured by the Overlord for his golden power

Ice Ninja died

He got his father back, and then he died.

Was possessed by an evil ghost tyrant and was forced to do horrible stuff with no control over himself

Was also physically strained to his limit with that possession

Lost his uncle

Fell in love, and then said crush turns out to be a twist villain who wants to TORTURE him, resurrect his father and steal that fatherly love from him, and have said father try to KILL HIM

Which he was very close to succeeding at

Has to live in hiding for a week thinking all his friends are dead

Twist villain crush dies in a building collapse

That traumatizes him and haunts his trust and empathy towards people for A LONG TIME

Gets cubed in a video game (idk if that counts as trauma)

He's also a dragon oni hybrid, and his oni hide haunts his mind for his entire life, and is terrified to even think of a part of himself

Merge. For weeks he thought all his friends were dead. (Again)

And you know, physical beatdowns from being the Green Ninja, one of the most responsible jobs as the savior of all of Ninjago.

And that is not even everything, I'm sure there's a lot of stuff I didn't mention.

This poor, poor Emo Child.

If this wasn't a Lego show, this would have a Clone Wars tone, I'm convinced.

So yeah, 'Family Issues: The cartoon'.

At least they all have each other. They're a happy found family, and the light in each other's lives. They're here for each other. Their dynamics are precious to me.

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 2 years

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the way izzy was received by this fandom rlly is the worst combo of how fans responded to kylo ren and how fans responded to, like, tyler durden or walter white.

anything i could say comparing izzy fans and kylo fans was already said in this fucking incredible post by @chuplayswithfire. but basically: izzy is a huge cunt to everyone in this show but fans take him at his word when he talks about being hardworking and competent, they minimize and excuse his actions and act like he's an innocent traumatized baby, and they focus on him, a shitty white antagonist, instead of any of the other interesting characters of color they could be paying attention to

but imo the thing that rlly makes a difference between izzy and kylo, and the thing that makes me compare him to those other two white dudes i mentioned above, is that unlike the movies kylo ren is in, ofmd is actually well-written

the first movie in the star wars sequel trilogy was pitched, written, filmed, and literally released with no ending for the trilogy in mind. the writing for the next movies was adjusted based on fan reactions, and major plot points were decided by studio executives deciding which events would make the movie more profitable. i should not have to explain to you that this is a terrible way to write a movie series. or a television series. or literally any kind of fucking story in the world.

our flag means death, or what we have of it so far, is not that. there's fully developed characters with given realistic motivations, instead of one-dimensional props that are jerked around by a constant tug-of-war between writers, directors, and studio executives. there are narrative plot points that are woven expertly throughout the story, not hints of storylines that are completely forgotten about by the next franchise, or storylines that were finished that are getting dug up again. there's a central theme to ofmd, unlike the new star wars movies, where the theme seems to be "how can we milk this fucking franchise for all it's worth." there's no goddamn queerbaiting

i'll admit that i've never actually seen breaking bad, and everything i know about it i've learned via tumblr osmosis. but from what i can tell, it's actually a very well-written show, and the whole point of the show is that walter white is the epitome of entitled and abusive white man who thinks he's super tough and badass and that everyone should listen to him and do whatever he tells them to do (lmao, sound familiar?). he ruins his life and the lives of everyone around him and idk he might die in the end. anyway dont do drugs.

fight club i have seen, and i can confirm that this is a fantastic movie that features, you guessed it, an arrogant white guy who represents the classic violent male power fantasy. the narrator, deeply depressed because he's a beta male, watches jealously from the sidelines as tyler durden starts seeking violence, first from just meeting up with random guys for consensual beatdowns, but it escalates as more and more men start joining the fight club (wow! the title of the movie!) until the club morphs into a terrorist group. also if you haven't seen it there's a Big Plot Twist that i haven't mentioned and it's pretty good. love that movie.

anyway the point is that both of those men are very obviously. shitty fucking guys. classic macho men (even tho tyler durden's fashion sense is fantastically fruity, for some reason) who crave power over others and respect in the form of fear. the whole point of their fucking characters is that in any generic action movie, they would be the heroes

and so many fans just. completely fucking miss this. there are hoards of dudebro fan guys who relate to these characters and go "wow, he's just like me!" and absolutely do not get the point of the thing they're watching. it is fucking baffling to see

anyway that's izzy stans!! an truly groundbreaking combo of your classic female fans who woobify evil white men and classic male fans who miss the entire point of characters who are written to subvert the expectations of what kind of role a character like izzy hands, walter white, or tyler durden would be expected to play!!!!! izzy hands is written to be an antagonist and the personification of toxic masculinity that ed is trying to escape from, and yet people are acting like he's the show's third protagonist.

because izzy would be a protagonist, in a different and much shittier story. and even though we all watched the same show where he very clearly is not the protagonist, people are applying that role to izzy and not actually looking at what role he plays in this show.

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skittles-the-whumpee · 5 months

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Hey, I’ve only been on the kink side of tumblr fir a couple years and you followed me a while ago, but I’m curious, what is “whump” is it like a fandom thing, if it is which fandom? is it some transgender terminology that I’m not aware of? I’m not judging I’m just genuinely curious cuz several whump accounts follow me and i juts wanted to know what it is, thanks for reading have a good day💕

Hi! ^^

Ok, so...I have only been in the whump community for a relatively short period and there are people who can explain it better, but the below is my personal take on the subject.

Whump isn't a fandom in of itself, it's a concept that can be added to any fandom. It's the concept of hurt/comfort and usually leans heavily on the hurt side of things. It also demonstrates a few different dynamics that can be SFW or NSFW.

An interrogation scene in a movie. Whump.

Reading about a vampire having their sadistic fun in a novel. Whump.

A prisoner in a comic book getting a beatdown. Whump.

But on the flipside...

A patient recovering in X hospital show. Whump.

A human pet escaping captivity and discovering the perks of freedom in a manga. Whump.

Someone getting their friend out of an abusive relationship and getting them into therapy in a fanfic. Whump

Whump dynamics include:

Whumper (offender) x whumpee (victim) [this dynamic is the most common]

Caretaker (self-explanatory) x whumpee

Whumper x caretaker

(Just a few)

There's also tropes like whumper-turned-whumpee or whumpee-turned-whumper or caretaker-turned-whumpee or even bad caretaker, for example.

Whump is an infinitely growing concept and literally anyone can add to it. ^^

This might not be the best explanation but it's what I've got lol.

If anyone else in the whump community sees this, reblog it with anything you wanna add. ❤️

#answered ask #sweet skittles posting #dublinurvixen #whump #whump explanation

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damistrolls · 7 months

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Death of a Vulture

its taken me a long-ass time to put words to page, but i've finally written the next bit to magpie's movie actor arc! i've been sitting on this forever, and i'm REALLY excited for it, so i really do hope u guys enjoy, even if its a little long

umm trigger warnings for physical and emotional abuse, as well as descriptions of strangulation, major character death, and other unhappy topics. kind of a heavy one, but i promise it's the start of things getting better!

(google doc link)

---

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me? To this family? You are making a mockery of everything I have worked to build, Vasyaa.”

“I am sorry!”

“Are you?”

“I am! I really am!”

The scene was hard to watch. It always was. Noboru hated to be here when poor Magpie was getting chewed out by his mother, but she would always snap at him if he’d try to leave. Noboru knew it was less about him being present for this, and more about her maintaining control over the situation. She was always a bit queer about these things, and he wasn’t the sort to argue.

Noboru stayed by the door, back to the wall, arms folded across his chest. Truthfully, this was part of the reason he tried to stay in the office, or at his own hive. These confrontations were more common than you think, and were more like brutal, one-sided verbal beatdowns than anything…

“If you are sorry, why is this a repeated issue? Why do you want to make the world laugh at us, Rybka? Do you hate me that much? To spit on my legacy as such…”

“No! No, I do not hate you! I do not hate you at all! Please…!”

He winced. It always hurt the most when Magpie begged. Noboru knew all too well that all the boy wanted was to be enough for Fansia, and the tears running down the young violet’s cheeks proved it. Her approval was everything to him, and it left him desperate and vulnerable. After a moment, Noboru finally came off of the wall, extending a cautious hand towards his matesprit in an attempt to calm her.

“That’s enough, Fansia. He’s sorry,” Noboru reasoned. And despite the way she whipped her head to furiously look at him, boring holes into him with her intense, predator-like gaze, he didn’t lose his nerve, and continued to speak. “Why don’t we just put him back into theatre and opera? He was popular on stage.”

The hand he had put out was slapped away, and Noboru knew he’d done nothing but work her up more. So he let it go, sighing and looking at Magpie, who was sobbing and scratching at his arms anxiously.

What a vulture she was.

Fansia fixed her gaze on Magpie again, only seeming more heightened after Noboru’s interruption.

“Look what you did, Rybka. You turned my own matesprit against me. You are not only ruining our image, but also corrupting our family from the inside out. Always crying, always making me into the bad guy...” She grabbed Magpie’s wrist, ripping it away so he would stop scratching. It wasn’t a gentle gesture, either. It was rough, and he yelped from how hard she pulled at his arm. That made Noboru’s hair stand on end, and the air in the room had suddenly gotten more tense.

“You would be nothing without me!”

“That’s enough,” he tried to interject again, but a resounding smack drowned out his words. He had hardly even registered the slap until he saw Magpie on the floor, holding his cheek and gasping for breaths between his sobs desperately.

Noboru moved before he could think, and pinned Fansia under his grip against the wall.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Have you slapped him like that before?”

She shrieked furiously, like a malevolent spirit, and retaliated by digging her sharp, talon-like nails into either side of his neck, like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to choke him or rip his throat out. Noboru was ill-prepared for her rage, and he was unable to pry her claws off of him despite being acutely aware of the fact that she could and would kill him if he failed to get away.

As her grip tightened, and air became more scarce, she was able to wrestle him to the ground, spots forming in his vision as he scratched her wrists– the wounds closing mere seconds after he’d made them.

What a terrible power, he thought. Even if he had sunk a knife into her heart, she would have recovered before he could even get up.

Consciousness became harder to cling onto as his mouth gaped and his gills flared uselessly. The things could only get oxygen from water, not from air, and Fansia was doing a fantastic job crushing his windpipe. He’s certain that if this doesn’t kill him, he’ll need extensive repair.

Funny that this was what was running through his head right now, as he weakly writhes under the woman who he was certain he loved once upon a time. He can’t pin exactly when that stopped. Maybe it never did, despite everything. It was pathetic, but quite fitting for him to love someone who has always been so cold to him. Maybe him and Magpie really were made of the same stuff.

But before Lady Death could have her way with him, Fansia’s hands tore away from his throat, and he coughed and choked on the sudden influx of air rushing through it. He shakily turned onto his side, and then flopped onto his front, still gasping and sputtering. What just happened?

Noboru found the strength to turn and look at the nearby commotion. If he hadn’t been so utterly drained, he would have been more shocked at the sight in front of him, of Magpie holding two ends of a wire of some sort in a makeshift garrote, strangulating the woman as she claws at the thin piece of metal. His gaze briefly flicked to the broken stringed instrument across the room, and it was clear to him that this wasn’t just an attempt to get her off of him. Magpie really was going to kill her. Either he would strangle her to death, or cut off her head in the process. Either one would prevent her from regenerating.

Magpie was crying. Wailing, more like. You would think that the action was hurting him as much, if not more, than it was hurting her. Fansia choked and convulsed, and Magpie heaved and sobbed. It would be almost beautiful if it wasn’t so brutal and utterly gut-wrenching. He sort of understood Magpie’s whole… blood and suffering as art thing at that moment. Only sort of, though. It mostly just made him sick to watch.

But then, the convulsing stopped, and Fansia’s hands dropped, her head falling to one side limply. Her eyes were shock-wide, and pierced through Noboru, despite her being very much gone. Magpie, however, was still pulling at her neck, screaming and crying like a madman. Noboru shakily pulled himself onto his hands and knees, and made his way over to the boy, carefully trying to get him to ease up and put the violin string down.

“Easy. It’s done, Magpie. Easy…” His voice was extremely sore, and his throat killed when he spoke.

Magpie looked at him, mortified. He tried to speak, but only another wail came out, and he dropped the string so he could immediately cradle the corpse he had just strangled to death himself. It’s like he hadn’t realized yet that he had wanted her dead.

Noboru tried for a while to get Magpie to release Fansia’s body, but he was holding on with a death grip, and refused to talk to him. With a sigh, Noboru relented, and allowed him to sob over her. Magpie’s feelings were too strong for him to think and act rationally, and Noboru could hardly blame him.

The man eventually stood, despite how much pain he was in, and pulled his palmhusk out of his pocket, loosening his tie so he’d have an easier time breathing. He phoned Yahiro, turning away from the scene in front of him so he could focus on the call.

“... Hiro? How quickly do you think you can come to Fansia’s hive? I know it’s late. I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t urgent.” A pause. “No, I’m– I’m fine. I’m just a bit hoarse.” Noboru glanced back at Magpie for a moment, and chewed the skin on his thumb. “... No, he’s mostly fine as well. A bit shaken, but fine. Look, I can answer all your questions once you’re here, I just need you to come and handle damage control with me. I’ll be waiting.”

—

It was about twenty minutes before Yahiro arrived at the Izuumi estate. Noboru could see the obnoxious red vehicle pull up from the window, and after a brief glance to the still-crying Magpie, he decided to leave the room to meet him. Yahiro, as always, let himself in.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice,” Noboru said, offering his hand to Yahiro. The teal took it, giving a firm, but comforting squeeze, his other hand clapping against his shoulder. Noboru could see Yahiro’s gaze flick to the injury on his neck, like he was already trying to put the pieces together.

“You’re always so professional. I’m here as your friend, you know.”

“Well, you’re going to have to be here as my lawyer, Yahiro. Fansia is dead.”

Yahiro’s brows raised, and he leaned forwards in shock, voice dropping to a whisper. Or really, a whisper-yell. He never was good at managing his volume. Well, except in the courthouse. While working, Yahiro always had every facet of himself under total control, like he was a completely different person.

“No kidding?! What happened…?”

“Do you want the truth, or what we’re going to tell the press?”

“Truth first, I need to know what I’m working with.”

Noboru hesitated, before sighing and pulling out of Yahiro’s grasp. He turned to look out the window, stroking his well-groomed beard contemplatively, as if he was still trying to comprehend the quick escalation himself.

“… In short, she hit him, I stepped in, she tried to kill me, and… Magpie killed her before she could. I’m sure he convinced himself that he didn’t mean to, but he immediately went for her throat. It was intentional.”

“Not that I blame him.”

“But the public will.” Noboru turned to face his moirail. “He’s fragile right now, Yahiro. I don’t want him involved. We’re going to put it on my shoulders. All of it. Do you hear me? Magpie wasn’t even here. Fansia and myself got into an altercation, and I killed her. We can paint me as a villain if need be, but I don’t want him to answer a single question about what happened here.”

Yahiro gave a slow nod. It seemed like he wasn’t going to argue. Noboru could tell that Yahiro understood his feelings, given how close the teal was to Magpie. He would take the blame as well, if he were in his shoes. If there was one person Yahiro would stick his neck out for, it would be Magpie. He treated him like his own.

“Where is he?” Yahiro asked.

“I already said I don’t want him involved.”

“Not to question him. Your testimony is more than enough, if we’re gonna plead guilty. I just wanna see him.”

“.. He’s upstairs, more than likely still in Fansia’s room. He’s got an impossibly strong grip on her. Good luck prying him off for even a moment.” Noboru tsk’s. “I don’t know how we’re going to carry the corpse away at this rate… But we do need him away from the estate as soon as possible, so we can get all the evidence in order.”

“Don’t worry about that part. I’ll handle the evidence and Mag’s alibi and all that. You just call the hospital about your throat. You sound like a dying animal.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I’m serious. It sounds painful.”

“I’m fine, Hiro. Go see him. Just… be gentle.”

Begrudgingly, Yahiro let the issue go, and he began to ascend the carpeted stairway, hand braced on the bannister as he jogged up. This place was always a little bit of a maze, but Yahiro knew the way to Fansia’s room, if only because he was always a little scared of walking in there by accident. She terrified him a little, if he’s telling the truth. Unlike Noboru and Magpie, his feelings about her were not complicated in the slightest. He really didn’t like her.

—

The door to Fansia’s room was wide open, and Yahiro could hear cries coming from inside. He rapped his knuckles against the doorframe gently, before entering. The scene was certainly not the most grisly one he’s seen, but it gave him a knot in his stomach like you wouldn’t believe. Magpie was completely inconsolable, draped over Fansia’s lifeless body like he expected his tears to wake her up in some fairy tale twist. He didn’t even seem to notice Yahiro at first.

The teal very gently placed his hand on Magpie’s shoulder, only for it to get swatted away with a loud “No! Do not touch me! Do not touch her!” Magpie then peeked over his shoulder to see who had entered. He seemed to settle a bit when he realized it was only Yahiro.

“I’m just here to check on you, Songbird.” The teal smiled sympathetically, even if he was in no smiling mood. Magpie still didn’t seem keen on letting Fansia go, and though it brought Yahiro no joy to distress the poor thing, he used Magpie’s momentary distraction to drag him away from the corpse and into an embrace.

Magpie fought at first. Yahiro knew he would. He had specifically said not to touch him, but he wasn’t going to let him keep holding that devil of a woman. The violet kicked and screamed and even bit him hard enough to draw blood, just trying to get back to Fansia, but he eventually calmed down and laid limp in Yahiro’s arms, either because he finally accepted she wasn’t coming back, or because he just tired himself out.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. I’ve got you…”

Magpie finally returned the embrace, sniffling and hiding his face in Yahiro’s shoulder as he was shushed and stroked.

“They are going to take her away,” the violet croaked.

“They are.”

“It is my fault.”

“It’s not. She—” Yahiro paused. He had to watch what he said. Despite everything, Magpie had a hard time seeing her as the villain, and he might get defensive if he said anything bad. He exhaled slowly. “… Things just got out of control. It’s not your fault.”

He didn’t seem to believe that, but he didn’t say anything, simply gripping the back of Yahiro’s shirt tightly, hands shaking.

“… Where’s Lupo?” the teal asked after some momentary silence. Or, relative silence. Magpie was sniffling and taking shallow breaths the whole time. “Is he here?”

“H-he is not.”

“Where is he?”

“He is with Lekthi.”

It didn’t clear up much. He wanted an address or something, but he supposed that so long as they could get him there, it wasn’t a big deal.

“I’ll drive you, okay?”

Magpie shook his head stubbornly.

“What about Noboru? He could drive you.”

Another head shake. Yahiro sighed quietly, and pet Magpie’s hair as he thought. After a moment, the teal summoned a smile.

“.. I bet I can still carry you, like old times.”

“No…” His voice was miserable.

“I know I can. Look, come on!”

“Stop it…”

Yahiro slowly got to his feet while holding Magpie. The boy acted limp, which made it even harder to lift him, and he ended up halfway sliding out of Yahiro’s arms. Boy, it was like he was liquid. But a few quick adjustments helped him mostly hold Magpie up, despite his quiet protests.

“Come on, you’re making it harder on me! That’s not really fair, is it?”

Yahiro’s jolly attitude didn’t do much to cheer Magpie up, however. He was too much of a sad lump to even lift his head enough for Yahiro to see him. Gods, that depressed him. He’s never seen Magpie like this. It really honestly made him want to cry, more so than anything else that had happened in recent perigees.

“Hup!” He tried to hoist the violet up even more, but his attempt was cut short when Magpie stood on his own and shoved Yahiro off of him.

“Stop it! Stop… Please…”

Yahiro’s smile dropped, and he gave a small exhale through his nose. Magpie wasn’t a child anymore. That wasn’t going to cheer him up like that and he knew it. He supposed he just wasn’t sure what else to do about it.

“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry. I just… I don’t think you should stay here, Mags.” Yahiro tilted his head, giving a sympathetic look. “Your father and I will handle everything, okay? I want you to go somewhere quiet and safe for a bit.”

“Am I going to be in trouble?” Magpie asked, finally tilting his head up. He looked utterly miserable. His face was slick with tears and he looked even paler than normal. It was awful to see, really.

“No. No, not at all.”

“But it is my fault.”

“It’s not. Noboru is taking responsibility for everything.”

“But I killed her.”

“No. I mean— yes, but…” Yahiro sighed. After a moment, he approached again, and gently set his hand on Magpie’s shoulders. “He wants to protect you, Mags. Please just let us handle it.”

Magpie quieted down, and glanced over to Fansia’s body again. Yahiro rubbed his shoulders a bit, and craned his head around to try and get Magpie to look at him again.

“Hey… I know. I know how it feels. Believe me, I do. You’ll feel better if you spend this time with people you love and trust. Okay?”

“…”

Yahiro squeezed his shoulders.

“Okay?”

“… Okay.”

“That’s my little Songbird. Now, come on. Let’s get you to your friends, yeah?”

Magpie didn’t answer, but he also didn’t protest when he was guided out of the room. Yahiro knew that he had done a terrible job at cheering Magpie up, but frankly, he doubts there was anything anyone could have done to make him feel better at that moment. Magpie had very strong, very complicated feelings about Fansia. And to have been the one that killed her? He’s sure it ate him up inside in a way that couldn’t even be described.

—

Noboru had been pacing anxiously when the two came down the stairs. He stopped when he saw the two of them, and seemed relieved to notice that Magpie was no longer glued to Fansia’s corpse.

“Hey. I’m gonna drive him to his friend’s place. I’ll call my guys, they’ll clean everything up so it doesn’t look like he was here… All you gotta do is call my office phone, leave a message saying you might have knocked her off during a fight and need legal counsel, and then take your ass to the hospital.” Yahiro paused at the bottom of the stairs. “… You really alright with taking the fall? You’ll be safe, but the press will really hate your guts.”

Noboru sighed, looking at Magpie for a few long seconds, before his gaze flicks back to Yahiro.

“… I am. Negative press didn’t kill my business prior to Fansia, it won’t kill it after her.”

“If you’re sure.”

The man looks to the depressed Magpie, who doesn’t seem all that interested in their conversation. He had never exactly done much to be a good guardian to Magpie, had he? He was better than Fansia, sure, but that wasn’t exactly a high bar to clear. Noboru hesitantly reached out, and delicately brushed a bit of hair away from Magpie’s face.

“… I’m sorry for what happened. Thank you for protecting me.”

Magpie’s hands balled into fists. He didn’t look angry, though. Just conflicted.

“Are you upset with me? You’re allowed to be. It was my fault it escalated like that.”

“No…”

“It’s okay if you are.”

“I am not… You were trying to protect me first, which is why I…” For a moment, it looked like Magpie was going to cry again, but he squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds, breathed out a shaky sigh, and continued. “I couldn’t let her hurt you.”

Noboru pressed his lips into a thin line.

“.. If only I had done as good of a job at protecting you as you did me. That’s why I want to do this. You’ll be doing me a kindness by allowing me to do this for you.”

Magpie said nothing. Noboru couldn’t tell if he understood his reasoning or not, so he left it be.

There wasn’t much of a goodbye or anything after that. Magpie and Yahiro eventually just made their way out the door, and into that obnoxious red car, and drove off. It was unceremonious, a bit awkward, but mostly depressing.

He can’t wait for the headlines. Fansia Izuumi, the Empire’s sweetheart, strangled by her own matesprit. He can see it, all in big headline text on the front page of every news article for the next few perigees. He’s going to become one of the most hated men on Alternia. But better him than Magpie. The boy doesn’t deserve to have his future destroyed over this. It’s the least Noboru can do. He’s kept his head down too long.

… Gods. He needs a drink.

#writing #magpie #noboru #fansia #yahiro

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linkspooky · 7 months

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Spoilers if you still haven't read the new jjk leaks so...

I really cant believe that your prediction of Gojo's battle ending up like Kaneki's beatdown has come full circle...my God even the one where he is lying dead chopped up with no arms and legs is exactly the same.

What are your thoughts on the conclusion of this battle or the whole progression of the story rn,because this really cemented Gege's bad writing at its finest for me.Such a lamest and most underwhelming death granted to one of the most well written character of the series with an offscreen death coupled with his whole afterlife dialogues dickriding Sukuna saying he wouldn't have stood a chance even without sukuna using 10s when the whole battle contradicts this,then Nanami telling Gojo that they always knew Gojo was a battle junkie and didn't care for others,committing a massive character assassination.Just why did Gege had to butcher his character this much?Im so livid right now with the way his death was executed and Gojo's character arc without achieving anything in his life and says he doesn't have any regrets and satisfied? I decided to drop the series because this all left a sour taste in my mouth and knows that there are more ridiculous asspulls to come in the future.But there are some theories going online saying Gojo will come back by rebirth or as a vengeful spirit by going North and correlating to the Lotus flowers in the panels.I still dont believe this will happen since Gege ruined the character for good,but I need to know your predictions on this one too to huff on my tiny amount of copium.

I CALLED IT! *EVERYONE BEGINS HIGH FIVING ME*

Besides the fact that I have proven without a doubt that I can see the future and therefore I can tell everyone with confidence Megumi will live until the end of the manga (this is a joke, or is it?), I have some more to say on the rest of your ask anon.

I'm not going to comment on whether or not I think this is good or bad writing. For me the question is not "is Gojo's death written well?" but rather "What does Gojo's death mean for the story?"

I'll address some parts of your ask and remember I'm not really agreeing or disagreeing with you, just trying to analyze why Gege made the story choices that he did.

with an offscreen death coupled with his whole afterlife dialogues dickriding Sukuna saying he wouldn't have stood a chance even without sukuna using 10s when the whole battle contradicts this

In this case I believe Gege offscreening the death is a pretty classic bait and switch. It happens exactly the same way that Kaneki's fight happens in chapter 143 of Tokyo Ghoul: Re, we as the audience see a build up to a big climactic fight between Kaneki and Juzou two of the most powerful characters in the manga only to literally skip the entire fight and show it's conclusion: Kaneki limbless on the ground.

It inspired a huge controversy back in the old days of the Tokyo Ghoul fandom too, imagine if instead of just skipping the final moment of the fight we skipped the ENTIRE fight between Gojo and Sukuna. Just Nah, I'll Win *Smash Cut to Gojo cut in half* The last chapter also ends with this, declaring Gojo's victory.

My friend Comun said basically after this Gojo was guaranteed to lose because in shonen manga the second a character is entertain that they'll win they have the rug pulled out from underneath them. It's the same reason that when you're making a plan to have a heist in a heist movie you whisper it at first instead of explaining the whole plan ahead of time. If you just explain the whole plan and everything goes according to plan you've spoiled your own story.

In other words the classic bait and switch the audience is led to believe one thing and then slapped in the face with something else. This is just my justification for why I think the ending to the fight is offscreened, the same way it is for Kaneki's fight with Juzou, it's almost parodying battle shonen. Jujutsu Kaisen is a story where characters fight, and Gojo and Sukuna is one of the most hyped up fights in the manga, but the fight is not the most important part the characters are. Fight mechanics are important to the story, but they don't trump everything else so less important to the question of how Gojo lost, or even seeing his loss onscreen is the question of why he lost.

In my opinion the reason Gojo lost is because he was fighting for the wrong reasons, he cared far more about winning a satisfying fight then he did saving Megumi the kid he was responsible for. Gojo is kind of like the audience, he cares more about the battle aspect of shonen manga then the characters, so the author denies both Gojo and the readers their climax.

This is what we call an Anti-Climax.

As a result, the subversion of the climax, the Anticlimax, is probably almost as old. The anticlimax is when you're set up for a climax, such as a spectacular, battle-to-end-all-battles between the hero and the villain. It's built up more and more until the suspense is extremely exciting, and the reader/viewer can't wait for it...then the hero kills the villain in one hit, or the villain spontaneously drops dead [...] Anticlimaxes can work well if it's clear that the subversion of audience expectations is the point, either for humorous purposes [...] or as a more serious commentary on the genre of the work.

It's alright if you're disappointed though because fights are one of the main draws of the series, I'm just explaining the trope that's at work here. As for Gojo saying he wouldn't have stood a chance against Sukuna if he was going all-out I'm not sure precisely that's what he said. He just says he's unsure he would have beaten him even without the ten-shadows, that it would have been close. It's also not completely out of left field that Gojo found Sukuna challenging.

We are told beforehand that Sukuna is holding back a move, because Gojo only has to defeat Sukuna, while Sukuna has to do a boss-rush marathon and beat Gojo and everyone who comes after him. We also receive this piece of foreshadowing, Sukuna saying "Very Good" after Mahoraga succesfully cleaves off Gojo's arm which was likely him learning the technique that he'd use to finish Gojo. He even called Mahoraga his shadow.

Someone else pointed out that Sukuna was also winning the domain battles pretty thoroughly before Sukuna started to use the TenShadows in the fight so I don't think Gojo's statement of how he could have won with his techniques was that out of left field.

If it were not for Sukuna's whim of wanting to use Mahoraga, he would have beaten Satoru and it is even implied that Sukuna allowed himself to be hit so that Mahoraga would adapt to Satoru's infinity. Even in their activation of domains Gojo had to destroy and regenerate his brain five times while Sukuna didn't have this problem, this is because Sukuna didn't lose his domain as many times as Satoru because we must not forget that Sukuna's domain doesn't need barrier like Gojo's so it was easier to destroy Satoru's domain than Sukuna's.

Yet another person also pointed out that Gojo acting completely on top of his game the whole fight and confident in his victory, and yet seemingly contradicting that at the end by saying he might have lost even if Sukuna didn't have the Ten SHadows makes sense if you consider the fact that Gojo was putting on a show for his students. He had to appear absolutely confident he was going to win in front of them to make them feel safe. Whereas, with Geto he's with a peer so he can be more honest about what he thought his chances were.

There's another shift after the opening stage of their fight in chapter 224. What always stuck out to me from that chapter was Gojo noticing that their fight was being broadcasted. After he spots Mei Mei's crows, Gojo never, not once, for the remainder of the fight expresses doubt in himself in any outward way. We see frustration, we see anger, we see surprise, but never doubt. Never worry. And what does he say as soon as he get's the upper hand in the fight?

As for the final part of your post:

Im so livid right now with the way his death was executed and Gojo's character arc without achieving anything in his life and says he doesn't have any regrets and satisfied?

I don't think Gojo said he was satisfied. In fact it's the opposite.

Gojo's unsatisfied because of two reasons, number one he wasn't able to push Sukuna into giving his all, and number two that Geto wasn't among the people who were saying goodbye to him before he went off to fight. I did an entire post, on why I don't think Gojo is satisfied with his death at all.

However, the TLDR: Version, Gojo could have chosen to fight for two things, number one to be the strongest and number two for the sake of his connections to other people. Gojo chooses the first and he fails at that. He's not only no longer the strongest but he couldn't give Sukuna the fight of his life. He's unsatisfied for that reason. He's also unsatisfied because he deliberately gave up all of his personal connections in life, and chose to only focus on being the strongest. Not only did he fail at being the strongest but he also lost Geto and practically everyone else. If he'd have chosen to fight for personal connections instead then maybe things would be different and Geto would still be alive, and he'd be more satisfied because he could have lived a life with genuine connections to other people, but that's not what he chose.

If anything I think it's there to connect him to TOji and the way they died. They both die offscreen and die standing on their feet. In Toji's final moments he thinks he only chose to fight for his personal pride but then Megumi flashes by his mind.

In Gojo's final moments he thinks about how much he regrets that he wasn't able to give Sukuna a true challenge, and then Geto flashes by his mind. He could have chosen to live for something other than pride, the same way Toji could have chosen to live as a father and that possibility flashes before their eyes before their deaths.

#askspookies

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cosmo-production · 8 months

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why a mario + tmnt+ spider-man crossover is possible

we all know Spider-Man lives in new york, and that he 1st grew up in queen, but his adventures usually take place in Manhattan, because of the tall buildings where his web swinging would be most effective.

Almost all versions of the tmnt fight crime in new york but ussaly favor, guess where? MANHATTAN but rarely ever say its Manhattan and just call it New York, probably because of the whole living in the sewer thing and being new to the surface.

the mario bros yes live in the Mushroom Kingdom but still have family in there the place they grew up in Brooklyn as seen by the Mario movie. so whos to say they dont vivsit from time to time? (well mario's dad is bit of pain but shush he's not important)

so all the marios have to do is go to manhattan for a liite while, probably because of a plumbing job and just happen to notice the turltes or spider-man stopping crime and mama mia! we have triple crossover/ recipe for disaster

just some iconic new york hero's bringing some new york style beatdown to the bad guys!

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snackugaki · 1 year

Photo

we’re basically the same height but my thighs are bigger so I can obviously kick his ass

...uh... idw spoilers, maybe idk behind the cut

welcome to the beatdown breakdown

to start we give people their flowers, case in point: freakdr0id’s great analysis on Donnie’s fighting style

Next Mutation Donnie could, feasibly, wallop li’l Purple Rain. however considering the nature of the show, TNM!Donnie falls under the same trap that someone else pointed out about 87Donnie. in that he wouldn’t be able to hit anything without, like, a really bad ADR sound effect. out in the first round because no one squeezed a rubber chicken when he punched someone.

07 Donnie doesn’t have time for this, he’s got an IT job to get to (but he could land and take a punch but probably not final round material)

Archie Donnie... is a tech billionaire he has other shit to do, might rip his purple robe too.

IDW Donnie absolutely could knock Rise Donnie out, he got his shell ripped out he kept ticking. possible cheater since he’s retained a modicum of his martial skill from his past life

Mirage Donnie don’t give a fuck, he can, could and maybe will take everyone out if, like.. he had a reason good enough.

bay!Donnie... would just Godzilla stomp everyone out. or everyone aims for his ankles and he goes down like an AT-AT on Hoth, rip

plenty people already defended 03 Donnie and his capacity for haymakers, so. y’know. but probably him and bay!Donnie find quiet corner to tinker with their little machines ‘cuz these are the least aggro Donnies I’ve ever seen.

Injustice 2 Donnie’d black out and wake up to a victory screen.

90s movies Donnie wouldn’t even lift a wrist, pure unfuckwithable energy. could probably go to last rounds but he would just be utterly bewitched by Rise and bay Donnie’s screen projection computer HUDs

In conclusion, Rise Donnie’d get yoyo’d up and down these New York streets post or pre-movie by these Donnies. he can wear a high waist pant tho, I’mma give him that.

#like he's cool or whatever #but I just judge whether or not someone can potentially whoop my own ass #based solely on thigh comparison #and his thighs are so tiny #no respect for that turtle #sure #he looks casually jacked but...#*gestures to literally any other Donnie*#made bay!Donnie huge because it's fucking funny #they said FIST fight #did I leave out 12Donnie?#or did 12Donnie just not cross my mind?#who knows #elder millenial bias #lolololololololololololololol #TNM Donnie sash on the wrong side #flipped some of these #something shady about looking left to me #idk

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filmbrainbmb · 4 months

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Hello, everyone! Decided to finally launch YouTube Memberships as another way you can support the channel, alongside my Patreon. You can join with the link above.

#film brain #bad movie beatdown #projector reviews

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judgementdaysunshine · 8 months

Note

Hi babes!!! I have another Lita request for you. You have free reign to go crazy.

Aah

I won't let you pull me down

Pairing: Lita x Fem reader

Description: You get revenge against Chavo Guerrero after he attacks you with people by your side who are family one who you fell for

The chair that hits you in the face then your back was completely unexpected but was especially shocking that both hits were from Chavo Guerrero. You see him go with the chair to hit Christian who was injured badly from the match the two just had against Randy Orton and Triple H, you immediately jump up after christian turns seeing chavo with the chair raised "I won't let pull me down anymore!", but instead of hitting him in the head it hits you right in the face again but with more force leading blood to splatter on the chair, mat, and both men before christian is immediately snatching and hitting chavo with the blood stained chair as you groan, cough, and crawl in throbbing pain yelling when hands and feet connect with your face and ribs until you hear loud music playing and yelling crying when a hand touches your swollen face and jumping when someone leans in front of you recognizing by the voice it was Edge as he helps you out of the ring hearing the concerned voices of Lita and Jeff Hardy on either side of him. Meanwhile Matt Hardy and christian were dealing with chavo in the ring "THIS WAS YOUR PLAN HUH?! BACKSTAB HER AND LEAVE HER ALONE THINKING I WAS FUCKING STUPID?! I MAY BE A DICK SOMETIMES AND NOT ALWAYS SEE THINGS BUT I'M NOT FUCKING STUPID TO FIGURE OUT THE TRUTH!" Eddie comes running out but not to fight them but to grab chavo and slap him cursing him out in Spanish for how stupid he was, you yell in pain as your swollen and bruised eyes are touched by nurses realizing just how bad the attack was on your body feeling tears pour down your face adding burning pain barely able to see anything except shapes and the blurry faces of your friends with edge to your left, lita to your right with jeff and matt next to her while christian and Rey Mysterio next to edge waking up later with a little more sight seeing them and tearing up being pulled into a long, big, and safe group hug as they each stay by your side as you heal and help train you back once you were back in the gym and backstage. They all train with you leading you and lita to bond outside of the gym and training, the two of you enjoy dates together from lunch, shopping, swimming, and dinner at each other's houses to ice cream, dancing, drinks with friends, and movie nights enjoying every one together before slowly opening up to leading to a passionate kiss between the two of you and after a couple of more weeks you told your group of friends and new allies of your relationship which made them all cheer and pay up on the long timed bet made months ago, you smile walking down the ring to fight chavo sharing high fives witb your friends ringside before climbing in putting an all out revenge beatdown between the two of you not letting anyone interfere whether to distract or help you proving that no matter the odds of who you were against that you could put up a real fight and weren't giving up unless you were really injured or unconscious, you scream in joy at the win being lifted up and hugged by your friends getting a tight one wrapped up in lita's arms before she is kissing you making your friends as the crowd cheers flipping off anyone who was being disrespectful to the two of you as you all head backstage feeling on cloud nine giggling when lita wraps her arms around you and kissing your cheek and temple "I'm so proud of you" you melt sharing a tender kiss before continuing the small celebration with your family that would only grow for the next few years.

#lita x reader #wwe #wwe x reader #lita

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bodyhorrorbeatdown · 7 months

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Body Horror Beatdown, Match 12, Round 1

Vote for your favorite:

Propaganda under the cut.

Bad Biology: A godawful love story.

"is this a good film? debatable. should it win? maybe not. but it's a film that you can't really say much about, but it will shock you. for better or for worse. funniest horrible film that i love showing people."

The Void:

There is a Hell. This is worse.

"some SERIOUSLY fucked up eternal torture going on in a few scenes in this movie. It's not the central point of the movie but the sheer horror of it and the incredible effects really really stand out."

#bodyhorrorbeatdown #body horror beatdown #gore #body horror #round 1 #polls #bad biology #bad biology 2008 #the void #the void 2016 #frank henenlotter #jeremy gillespie #steven kostanski

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paranormalpainter · 1 month

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{Adopted Witch OC} Jessalyn Everthorn and her lion familiar Leo

Adopt I got from @naughtykittydv-1992

Name: Jessalynn Everthorn

Age: 21 y/o

Height: 5'2"{Regular Height} 5'4" or 5'5"{In 2" or 3" heels}

Date of Birth: 09/27

Occupation: Practicing Bartender, Part-time Waitress, Security/Bodyguard, and Freelance Exorcist/Medium, Fashion Designer, Hair Stylist, and Makeup artist

Species: Witch

Personality:

Jessalynn’s a sweet, friendly, and hardworking person who’s also a bit mysterious to those around her, however, if you decide to mess with her/get on her bad side, she’ll make you regret it for the rest of your life. When dealing with entitled, non-compliant, disruptive, or drunk customers causing the other customers experience to be uncomfortable, she’ll first politely ask them to leave, but if they refuse to leave, she’ll then warn them that if they don’t leave, she’ll have to resort to “extreme measures”, but if they still refuse to comply, she’ll ask her ghost lion familiar, Leo to “kindly show the customer(s) the exit”. She’s also the type who isn’t afraid to do a verbal beatdown to someone if needed, especially with the intention of shattering ones fragile ego

Likes:

~Cooking

~Drink mixing/making

~Hanging out with friends and family

~Helping lost souls move on

~Karaoke night

~Dancing

~Shellfish dishes

~Designing Clothes

~Styling Hair

~Bloody Mary Cocktails

~Fruit flavored drinks

~Giving fashion/cosmetic tips/advice

~Gardening

~The Paranormal

~Mystery, horror, thriller, dark fantasy, and dark romance novels or movies

~Rock, metal, and gothic pop songs

~Traveling

~Playing the electric guitar

~Riding her scooter

~Gaming

~Rainy weather{Especially thunderstorms}

And

~Going for a stroll

Dislikes:

~Drunk, Disrespectful, Rude, Aggressive, and Entitled customers

~Perverted men

~Discrimination

~Harassment

~Bitter/Tasteless foods

~Heatwave level temperatures

~IP{Intellectual Property} theft

~Design block

~Scammers

~Her family and friends in harm's way

~Abuse of power

~Strep throat

And

~Cockroaches

Skills/Abilities:

~Skilled at using dark/demonic magic

~A protective barrier against possessive/brainwashing magic

~Drink Mixing

~Alcohol Tolerance{She doesn’t get drunk easily}

~Skilled at knife throwing

~Has a pretty flexible vocal range for singing

~Can rap at a fast pace

And

~Skilled in combat

Weakness:

~Using too much dark/demonic magic: Even though she’s a witch, she has her limits on using dark/demonic magic. Using it too much would result in her protective barrier weakening which would lead to a case of possession or cause her to gradually lose her sanity if she isn’t careful, so she has to remember to take breaks when using dark/demonic magic

~Peanuts/Tree Nuts: She’s allergic

Hobbies:

~Drink mixing

~Cooking

~Karaoke

~Dancing

~Gardening

~Looking after her younger brother and little sister

~Spending time with family or friends

~Hair styling

~Designing clothes

~Giving others fashion/cosmetic tips/advice

~Brushing Leo's mane

~Studying other languages and cuisine from around the world

~Riding her scooter

~Going for a stroll

~Playing the electric guitar

~Reading/watching mystery, horror, thriller, dark fantasy, and dark romance novels/movies

And

~Traveling

Family:

Amias Everthorn-Father

Bethany Everthorn-Mother

Jaxton Everthorn-Older Brother{25}

Laurence Everthorn-Younger Brother{17}

Kimberly Everthorn-Little Sister{6}

And

Leo Everthorn-Her familiar

Voice Reference: Shiori Novella from Holoadvent: https://youtube.com/shorts/5rk2awcZeyI?si=HAdnBXN5aCJ50zdm

Facts/Trivia:

~Her father’s a demon while her mother’s an ex-exorcist/witch. They started dating in secret due to a strict rule at the time that an exorcist can never have a relationship with a demon no matter how trustworthy they seem to be and was eventually fired once her relationship was discovered

~When Jessalyn decided to work as a freelance exorcist like her mother, she offered to get her mom her job back since times have changed, but her mother politely declined her after saying she’s happy with her current life and wants to focus on her family

~Her older brother, Jaxton and little sister, Kimberly have her fathers physical demonic traits while her and her younger brother Laurence on the other hand have their dad’s ability to use dark/demonic magic

~She has a dream of starting her own designer studio and is working multiple part-time jobs and side gigs as a way to save up money to open a location

~She loves shrimp dishes

~She currently lives in an apartment near the beach a couple of miles away from where her family lives

~Her familiar Leo has the ability to change from his wisp form into a fully grown lion. He mostly uses this ability to protect those dear to Jessalyn or aid her in escorting unwanted customers off the premises. Due to this ability, she and Leo were able to land a hostess/security position at the restaurant she works at in case there are any unwanted customers that won’t leave the premises with the threat of the police being called{And yes… She does have a license that allows her to use her familiar for protection in case something happens =w=}

~Leo also has the ability to change his physical form from a full grown adult lion to a lion cub for when he wants to be picked up or cuddled as well as when he’s feeling playful{Has a strong aura, but is also a kitten at heart X3}

Hope you enjoy 😊

Jessalyn Everthorn(C) Me

Jessalyn's design and the artwork on the left(C) @naughtykittydv-1992

DON'T STEAL OR COPY OUR ART! 👿

But your free to draw any of my OC's just please credit me 😊

#Jessalyn Everthorn

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bluehairlaunch · 1 year

Text

7 Worst Dragon Ball Characters (objective)

Honorable mention, Master Roshi. So here's the deal, I actually like Roshi. I actually like Roshi A LOT when he's being the offbeat martial arts master, but for the most part he's a serial sex offender, and the anime adds even more sexual assault for lulz.

Like a bad relationship, I try to remember the good times

Oolong

So y'know how I basically said there were aspects to Roshi's personality I really enjoyed, which is why he's not on the list proper? That's not the case with Oolong. There are definitely aspects to Oolong I like -- I like Piggy from Journey to the West and I think it's hilarious that Toriyama dressed him (and Mai, for some reason) like Chairman Mao. I also have to credit him with saving the world, although idk how Pilaf would have actually held onto his world empire with people like Goku around. Regardless, his character is another vehicle for sexual assault humor.

And yes, the English dub fucked up and made him sound like an adult. The joke is that he's a child that acts like a perverted adult, but because he's a child, he's just kidnapping girls to clean his house and be his mom, basically (Bulma pretty much even adopts him). Sexual assault humor is still sexual assault humor, though, so Oolong sucks

Bacterian

He's just gross. I really hate this dude

Garlic Jr.

Who stans a poser? In DBZ Abridged, they rip on Lord Slug for being EXACTLY King Piccolo, but the only difference between Slug and Garlic Jr. is that Lord Slug knew his place well enough to stay out of the anime.

Lemme start tho with the things I actually like about this guy. 1) he's a demon, I think. Toriyama introduced the concept with King Piccolo, backtracked, then reintroduced it with Dabura. Dragon Ball Xeno Heroes or w/e later realized this was free real estate and expanded on the idea to the point of nausea, but until then, Garlic and his henchmen and Dabura were your only demons, if that's something you found dope.

Other than this, Garlic Jr. steals Pilaf's design, but instead of remaining a lil' gremlin, he goes the filler route and beefs up like a Broly. He has a past connection with Kami like King Piccolo and successfully uses the Dragon Balls like King Piccolo. He then uses the Jr. like Piccolo. Get your own fucking thing. ALL YOU HAVE IS BEING THE SON OF KAMI'S RIVAL

And what really gets me is that he would be an okay filler villain if he wasn't just a chimera of better, actually canon characters, but as he is, the only things I like about his movie and arc have nothing to do with him.

Fwiw this is the only character on this list that's filler/not a part of Toriyama's original run. If this included GT, then there would be nothing but GT. As far as Super goes, I like the characters or at least their concepts (looking at you Zamasu), and the shit part is in the execution.

Spopovich

He and Yamu serve to showcase Babidi's power of mind control, but in doing so we're forced to witness the most pointlessly brutal, one-sided beatdown in all of Dragon Ball. I think the anime even devoted an entire episode to this ffs

We later learn that you have to already be a prat to fall under Babidi's powers, so there's nothing even tragic about his brainwashing and ultimate demise. He sucked before, he sucks now, he's a bad character.

Idasam

First off, it really doesn't make sense that a kid's division was introduced, does it? Most of the top fighters in the World Martial Arts Tournament were underage

Second, look how cute that girl in the top right is

Ok ok. As I made this list I began to realize there weren't a lot of characters in Dragon Ball that I actually hated. Some I definitely liked less than others, but few were so bad that I would remove them if I could. This chick is definitely one of them tho.

The Anti-Chi-Chi, Idasam raised two little brats that ig she loves and supports, which is the only thing she has that going for her. Besides that, she's mean to Bulma and even tried to physically assault her until the Mother of our Saviour Chi-Chi stepped in

Pirate Robot

Admit it, you thought he was filler. He looks like Third Form Frieza fucked some Saiyan armor. I've seen people try to salvage pirate robot by saying he's Android 2, but no, he's not, General Blue had no idea about this underwater pirate cave, and it doesn't make sense for Dr. Gero to squirrel away a dragon ball down here. Sometimes the things you love just disappoint you

Super Buu

I'm not sure this if this is a controversial opinion, but Super Buu is trash, his arc is trash, and everything he does will be done better later by Janemba in a fucking filler movie.

Before his introduction, Gohan failed, Vegeta failed and failed and failed, Gotenks fucked around and found out, and Goku wasted his time on a useless transformation like Future Trunks did in the Cell Saga (if he had been alive, Gohan would be trained and he would have realized SSJ3 wasn't a real transformation). Then Hercule came along and WON. The champ did it, he beat Majin Buu (with kindness). And that's great. If the Buu arc ended there, it would've still had several loose ends, but Z has loose ends as it is (imo another saga was needed to complete Gohan's character arc).

But then Toriyama (I'd rather blame his editors, but I've never seen anyone credit Super and Kid Buu to editorial interference) Ctrl-Z's Hercule's victory and we get Super Buu, a Perfect Cell wannabe that does nothing but crack his neck and murder Marin and everyone else too ig with his admittedly dope human extinction wave.

I have nothing but issues with this guy. His arc is way too long, his design is generically cool like a filler character, he steals Cell's powerset, he steals everybody's clothes, and he murders most of the cast while having little to no personality, so I can't even hate him for it

Go crack your neck more, you're the worst character in Dragon Ball

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #master roshi #jiraiya is a better roshi #but both belong on lists #not these kinda lists either #oolong #pirate robot #super buu #majin buu #garlic jr #bacterian #spopovich #dbz #theres a reason super buu isnt in fighterz

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