#betty cooper outfit watch

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S7 E14 (Chapter 131) Archie the Musical

Well, this was fascinating. Do feel free to skip directly to the read-more which has the recap proper, because this next bit is a preamble. 

I always wonder about the urge of actors and people who work with actors to create situations in which the actors have to put on performances within performances.   At worst, it can get very navel-gazing, vain and shallow, but a lot of the time, if you can forgive performers for being too fascinated by themselves, the actual task of putting on the performance within a performance, where there’s a character who doesn’t know they’re a character in the show you (the audience member) are watching but IS aware that they’re pretending to be a character in a show that they know is a fictional creation seems really hard.  The task that the makers of Riverdale set for the actors of Riverdale in this episode is all that, squared, and it was very fun to watch.  Oh, and I’m a big fan of  this show, in an unironic, unabashed way, and I genuinely think a lot of these actors are actually very gifted as actors and putting on intentional, deliberate performances using their gifts, so take that under advisement as well.  

The musical opens with an alarm and just no preamble of any kind whatsoever.  Archie is singing a song from the literal second he wakes up.  Season 7 Archie has been Archie without the darkness and pain and sexuality that made him so fascinating to Jughead in all previous seasons to begin with, but in this opening sequence Season 7 Archie is fully a Classic (as opposed to Renaissance or Modern era) Disney princess.  He’s SO innocent and SO wholesome.  It’s very jarring.

“Why is life so cruel” he sings as he puts on clothes and says things like “same old teachers yapping in our ears!”

This song is extremely untuneful.  It’s a bad song.  This sounds like something I would sing at a passing street cat when I am wobbling home from having too many soju-beer mixes after dinner.   And Archie insincerely ‘selling’ it  makes it so much more awkward.

Very confusingly, Archie says it’s his Senior year as he waves out his window at Betty, who apparently has been standing there fully dressed in her perfect pink outfit watching him get up out of bed and into clothes this whole time.  If I wasn’t getting over Covid which I’ve caught later than literally everyone else this would’ve been the first valuable hint, but instead what I thought was, Oh this is the musical episode with a cold open AND a time jump?  Because they weren’t seniors yet last episode right?

Archie, who has never once been shown doing this, is waiting for her outside her door. They do this Singing in the Rain type of box step around each other before they skip off to school smiling entirely too much. It’s very surreal watching two characters repeatedly presented as All American being a parody of the All American concept.

Anyways, Betty takes over the song and she acts the most Un Betty-ish out of this whole season of being very unBetty.  She’s twirling around like she’s manic off of uppers, singing about how last year was “nothing but good times, nothing but fun ahead.” The net effect of this is very creepy and a lot scary. This is Betty Cooper as Alice Cooper always wants her to be. Betty, are you ok?!?  She starts hollering about how she’s “a model A student/ I’ll be perfect and prudent” and I totally feel like I’m having a stroke.  This is way worse than those NO She Would NOT Do That type of fanfics.

The first time I watched this episode I was already discombobulated by this time but the feeling became one of alarm when we moved on to Veronica.  Veronica is warbling about herself - she has “looks and style and brains and class” and “money? Well I do have a lot.”  I’m about to commit harakiri.  NO SHE WOULD NOT SAY THIS ABOUT HERSELF.    Veronica seems to be resisting the narrative because she addresses a free standing mirror as “mirror mirror on the shelf.”   She has a huge black and white actor profile type of photo of Archie stuck into her mirror.    She starts referencing designers that most definitely were not active in the 1950s (Versace, Prada, Klein).  

But I spoke far too soon about being scared of what’s going on in this opening sequence because the scariest is yet to come.  Jughead.  He’s apparently a super early rising morning person which - NO HE ISN’T. He’s fully dressed, seated at his desk, typing.   He’s singing. Is it because Jughead hasn’t sung much on this show that I am so scared of this or is this genuinely scary?  His eyes look totally crazed.   “Four years/ feels like I’ve done it before” he warbles.  He keeps smiling in a joyless way as he sings.  

He has a folder he shoves his morning pages into called “Genius Story Ideas” and after he chucks the paper in there he starts doing a solo dance sequence in front of his dog. It’s so bouncy, with big swinging motions.  This is so un-Jughead and I am very worried about him.  Jughead is apparently  done with summer school (when the hell did that happen?) so he can now take his place among his other classmates.  Then he finds a pizza box under his bed, looking absolutely maniacal.  

He’s doing a really alarming thing with his EYES.  Part of the reason that Jughead’s singing sequence is so scary is that he looks boyish  but his voice is all grown up, so the disconnect is very disconcerting. The other jarring element is that he is smiling like a Spearmint gum model  while singing this upbeat, chipper song, but his voice is much more indie-rock and melancholy.   

Next, he dance-steps his way into school carrying a cafeteria tray, accompanied by Ethel (looking great in a yellow and orange ensemble with green hints), Dilton and Ben.  He also makes up a word to rhyme with Sandwich (the last word of his song.).  Once again  - omg those maniacal googly EYES?   Jughead would never say “kicking back with my pals/ and finding myself.”   He keeps grinning as he swings his face from side to side except he’s not smiling AT anyone - he smiles at the back of a girl’s head after he grins at a shelf of trays.   He does a little twirl but he’s tense as fuck.  I feel like any second now he’s going to rip the skin off his own face using his fingernails.

Then comes the cheerleaders, followed by the basketball players.  

The cheerleaders seem very comfortable compared to Jughead. They have less to do in terms of choreo but they also don’t look terrified/ enraged.   The boys in particular line up to do a hip thrusting thing in formation in their short shorts.  They all pick up Reggie, and Julian and Fangs touch his chest.   This song will not end.  It’s just so untuneful!  It’s really hard to listen to the lyrics because I just find the notes so ugly.  Reggie however screams “I Rule Here!” as he sits on boys’ shoulders and once again - HE WOULD NOT DO THAT.  Not even S2-6 Reggie would be like this, and S7 1950s Reggie is too cautious and repressed to even think these thoughts.

The thing that upset me the most during my initial viewing, second only to Jughead tensely grinning away as he tried to sell his song like he was a child performer on High School Musical was that Julian Blossom is a natural performer.  Some people can sell any kind of choreography.  Like, even if the steps are objectively stupid the performer can elevate them to something charming or cute, even if they can’t fully dissipate the stupidity.  Julian is someone who can do this, and that surprised me. Why is the resident toxic masculinity jock a great musical theater performer?

Archie, Betty and Veronica drive up in his jalopy.  Suddenly everyone is congregating on the steps of the school main entrance.  Archie and Jughead finally act like they know each other - they give each other an extremely enthusiastic high five.   They’re all doing this super cheerful looking dance sequence, grinning ear to ear in bright sunshine and I feel like I really want to get on my knees and apologize to Roberto for complaining about all those times when the show was very murkily lit such that it was hard to see anything.   Watching all these people grinning is like watching those robotic children of the North Korean propaganda choirs, where the people have been perfectly trained to be more like animatronics than actual robots could ever be.   My eye keeps compulsively going to Jughead because he is completely not acting like himself.  LIke, Betty and Veronica and Toni and Cheryl and Clay and Archie all putting on their perfect Americana smiles, standing legs apart and arms spread in celebratory Vs - I can accept this.  JUGHEAD DOING THIS I CANNOT.  I keep wanting to reach into the screen to shake Jughead, to ask, Who is hurting you now?  What has happened??

And GUESS WHAT - it’s a fakeout.  

We finally get an explanation of what all this insanity was! In the ‘reality’ of S7 Riverdale, in the 1950s alternate universe, Kevin, who looks so pleased, calls out “Wow that was incredible!  Was that not so incredible, Clay?” 

Clay agrees with him because he’s not allowed to disagree with Kevin (The show posits that lovers can never actually disagree with each other, because that’s not what it means to be supportive, to disagree with your partner).

I hate Kevin so much, I have all season and this just seals the deal for me.  This musical sucks! Your song writing sucks!

And then the show does an about face and agrees with me, because all the ‘performers’ agree with me that this song was objectionable.   Clay and Kevin are in raptures about how fantastic it is, but everyone looks back at them with disagreement full on their faces.

Betty tactfully asks if the song they were all just forced to sing were written by the two boys.  That is, she wants to know how honest she’s going to be allowed to be about how much it sucks.   Unfortunately for her, Clay and Kevin did indeed write the song. This makes it so much more awkward for everyone to give their honest feedback.  Ethel, being the bravest girl in Riverdale and also someone who has recently not just seen the hacked-to-death corpses of her parents but also killed a man, tries first.  She says in a roundabout way that the song is too long and there are too many songs overall in the musical (“There’s a lot of music”) which is what you say when the material you’re given sucks ass.

Clay and Kevin, who are doing this because they’re finally allowed to put on a show that isn’t Oklahoma (which would have been a better choice because at minimum it comes with Agnes DeMille choreography and not the totalitarian cult dance that we just saw them all perform), take a very, very long time to realize that their cast actually doesn’t like the opening number very much. 

They’re both grinning ear to ear, exploding with joy, but nobody else looks even a little happy.  

Archie tries to object to the entire premise of the show, but because he’s not very bright he asks it in a dumb way: “Why are we playing seniors in the show? We’re juniors in real life.”

Kevin absolutely refuses to take the hint that not even Archie can stomach his songwriting, and gives a very pompous explanation about how Senior year is always a much better premise. 

Veronica tries to out theater-snob Kevin, since she knows a thing or two about putting on hideous musical numbers.  “Dramaturgically” is a word she wields like a weapon, to try to puncture Kevin’s ego-balloon.  Veronica asks  why it is she’s still ‘the new girl.’  She also directly criticizes the lyrical content - “Does that make sense?”

Kevin very slowly starts to realize they all totally hate it. 

Julian speaks up next.  He thinks he should be the lead because he’s the best singer (to which Midge says Fangs is the best singer) (which no, honey those are just your pregnancy hormones fucking up your brain) (And sorry for the string of parenthetical thoughts but JULIAN IS RIGHT. He IS the best performer -he looks intentional and natural singing and dancing.)  

Clay is as much of a bullshitting asswipe as Kevin (this is why they’re perfect for each other, I guess?) because he tells Julian that he’s Archie’s understudy in response to the bickering about who the ‘best’ singer is between Julian and Midge.   Actually the reason Julian isn’t the lead is because Kevin and Clay don’t like him as much, simply because he’s less likable, kind of a dick, but also Julian is very straight.  That is - the makers of this high school musical picked the boy they liked the most to be the lead, and they do not give a shit about meritocracy even for the purposes of putting on the best possible show.  

On the meta level though, this comment is very important for an analysis of this show   The redhead Blossom boy (previously Jason, now Julian) and Archie Andrews are often made to play oddly parallel parts to each other, so this is the show acknowledging this strange connection - that is, Jughead’s fantasies about Jason fueled S1 plot as much as his fantasies about Archie fuel the plot of the rest of the show;  Cheryl and Jason possibly probably had a (psycho)sexual something and in the wake of Jason’s death all the Blossoms tried to abduct Archie into their family; Archie became captain of the football team when Jason died and he became captain of the basketball team when Julian fell into a coma etc. 

Anyway, in answer to the two shitty songwriters’ arbitrary comment that Archie has to be the lead in the musical, the lesbians object immediately.  Cheryl and Toni in tandem state that a musical that’s “about all of them” can’t have Archie Andrews as the “main” character at the same time, and further, that they object to being relegated to ‘chorus’ girls in a male-centric narrative.  Yup.  Kevin the woman hating gay man would totally do this to women.

Sidebar - This is an interesting and visceral thing they keep doing with Kevin.  A man can be gay and be an enemy of women is the Kevin thesis.  Why it is that RAS, a gay man, keeps making his show make this point over and over in its final season?!

Anyway, Kevin and Clay continue to be dicks and also bad artists - they do not address any of the valid criticisms they are being given.  In response to “why is there a white straight male lead character when you (lied and) said the show was about all of us?” Kevin gives an insultingly condescending answer:  “You’ll have lines in the closing number.”

Way to miss the point, you git.

The untalented gay musical theater duo try to sell the finale of the musical as happening at The Prom.

This idea is extremely exciting to Midge for some reason, but it takes Jughead completely out of the game.  “In my opinion there is no lower art form than American musical comedy,” he says, which is very funny because he is an active participant in another “low” art form - the American horror/underground comic books, and he is saying this on Riverdale the show on CW exported to Netflix which keeps getting pilloried for being ‘bad’ and ‘low culture’ by people who are not as sophisticated and artistic as me.  

Reggie immediately says that while he “has the looks for acting” he doesn’t want to do either singing or dancing.  

Taking a step away from episode recapping to note that the best way I’ve found to enjoy Riverdale is to assume that all the decisions being made on screen are deliberate and intentional.  All these people - the writers, the choreographer, the actors, the editors etc - have made every choice presented to me ON PURPOSE.  So Jughead looking scarily manic was a performance choice that the actor made which the lighting director chose to make highly visible which the director encouraged. That kind of hamfisted hamminess with its strange undergirding of anger is what Jughead the character thinks American musicals are like.  By the same token - the amiable ease of Archie and Betty’s performances was supposed to communicate their cooperative characters. 

Do you get me?  Jughead Jones looked awkward and insane during what we saw of his song and dance number because Jughead Jones the character felt awkward and insane doing the number. 

Kevin and Clay take the departure of Jughead and Reggie in stride, because their focus was always on Archie.   Archie, Julian - and in fact, everyone visible on the ‘performer’ side of the room look deeply unhappy. 

It’s time for Archie’s “I want song” which Julian has to participate in because he’s Archie’s understudy.   Archie still hates Julian.  He is only staying to spite Julian, and you have this hilarious spectacle of two hyper masculine jock boys competitively singing a really dorky, frankly effeminate I Want Song at each other, line by line.  Archie is a stiff-as-fuck musical performer. He doesn’t understand this musical, he doesn’t like its premise, and all of that comes through in his stiff performance as he tries to stay on the beat. (Archie elsewhere has given good singing performances where he wasn't stiff and awkward, so this is very deliberate for this particular episode.)

Julian has a beautifully modulated singing voice.  His motions are fluid and natural.  He even moves his EYEBROWS well. He sells the song. It … like- i can’t believe I’m saying this - it sounds good when he sings it. Tuneful and catchy and everything.    Julian is elevating Kevin’s stupid music and I’m torn to pieces because a good performance is always pleasurable but I DON’T WANT THE SONG TO BE ELEVATED BECAUSE I WANT KEVIN TO FAIL.

Then Riverdale fully goes BOLLYWOOD.  Just. This is Bollywood. With no warning.  The camera pans up to follow the line of Julian’s sight as he does a really great piece of impromptu motion, projecting his voice to the ceiling.  Bollywood does this thing where people are in ‘reality’ (like say, in front of a bangles stall at the market) and then the song starts and suddenly they’re in a fantasy outdoor reality (say, in front of the pyramids of Giza), and the initial notes of the song are always shown with the character either running towards or away from each other.  They also change into much fancier clothes.

By the same token, this song transports both Archie and Julian to the sunny outdoors. They’re wearing tight fitting  sports uniforms that BOTH say Andrews.  And they’re running.   Julian looks completely at ease, dance-running gracefully to demonstrate the lyrics (“Archie going left/ Archie going right”).  Archie is having a really hard time running and singing at the same time, plus he’s very annoyed at Julian having this beautiful voice so he keeps scowling, too aware of what Julian is doing to give his own performance his all.  Julian is able to introduce truly lovely details into his ‘dance-run’ like annoyed little twitches of his head when Archie pulls ahead of him before racing to catch up. 

We’re back in the ‘reality’ of the rehearsal room.  Archie has picked up some performance points from Julian, again out of spite and competitiveness more than inspiration.   He’s starting to try to actually dance as he sings.  He’s snapping his fingers.  He does things with his hand as he delivers the lyrics.  He still looks stiff as fuck, but Julian is big enough to appreciate these gestures at improvement.    He actually, as a fellow artist, approves of Archie making an effort.  He even gives him an encouraging nod!

Julian, who is a nepo baby through and through about literally everything, is a meritocrat about musical theater.

I CAN’T COPE.

Kevin is ecstatic with hope again, thinking that it’s coming together. He’s so stupid.  He just lucked into having a talented musical theater leading man in the form of Julian, whom he’s incompetent enough to use as THE UNDERSTUDY. 

Archie is bouncing on the beat to every note of this song, but Julian knows (because he’s talented, omg I’m freaking out) that economy of movement is always better in the dance arts, so he keeps his body still and only makes gestural motions when they are necessary to communicate the song.

We’re back to the outdoor Bollywood reality.  Fully aware that he is losing, that he is Salieri to Julians’ Mozart, Archie brings out his best weapon - his abs.  He takes off his shirt as he runs. He looks really stressed out and aggressive about Julian being so much better than him.  Julian will not ever back down from a challenge, so he takes his shirt off too and GUESS WHAT  he has the same washboard abs as Archie!  “I’m a ripped ginger too!” is what Julian’s face says to Archie as they sing their song and run.   Archie is deeply unhappy about this.  He can’t bear to look at Julian. He doesn’t know what to do now.

Guys, I’m so into this musical. I love it. This is so fun. And it’s all because of Julian. 

Then they’re in the boys' changing room at school, singing at each other while taking their showers after the run.  This Bollywood reality is very gay alluva sudden.  Archie, Mr. Stiff & Awkward, is trying very hard to level up his choreography game.  He slams a hand into the shower wall as he sings.  Julian does the same thing, but better, with more panache.  Archie gives Julian a cock-eyed look.  Julian has super flexible eyebrows and does the cock-eyed challenging face BETTER.  Archie tries running his hand through his hair while making a cocky face.  Julian does it but with BOTH hands, HARMONIZES, and while Archie gets stuck with his hand in his own hair, extends the motion by spreading his hands wide and doing this fun little head tilt while adding a whole lot of swaggery sass to HIS version of the cocky face.

Archie gets pissed enough to slap the shower wall and - 

SEE, THE RIVERDALE ACTORS ARE GREAT.

This wall slap is categorically, visually, emotionally different from his doing as a ‘dance’ to try to one-up Julian as a performer.  This is genuine. It’s the ‘real’ Archie’s actual frustration about not being as good as Julian. 

Archie the fictional character breaks character as the fictional Archie, bringing on the record scratch sound. 

No STOP STOP STOP! Archie screams in desperation. He wants very much to be the lead now because he’s seeing how great Julian is and Julian Blossom cannot be allowed to win.  I’m furious and scared because I have a crush on Julian now even though I still hate this musical and why is this happening to me??

Julian says that “we were humming” and Archie is petty as anything.  He tries to assert dominance by saying he doesn’t like that “my UNDERSTUDY” is “singing at the same time as me!” because it’s “super distracting.”  Julian knows what I know which is that Archie is hating it that Julian is just immensely better than Archie is.  He makes a face and says UH Huh! at that.  

Archie, like all mediocre performers, starts to blame the material. “I’m not really jiving with this song.”  Julian won’t let him get away with this at all - “That’s funny, I am!”  And Julian would be. He was making it work.  

Kevin, because as I said he is not a meritocrat, decides to accommodate Archie.  He starts asking a truly unwieldy set of questions.  “What do you want in real life? What’s your secret passion or dream? Who is Archie Andrews?”    Julian pretends to be interested in Archie’s answer but actually he’s getting a kick out of Archie’s utterly overwhelmed silence. He is making the funniest faces of sarcastic faux concern as Archie gets totally freaked out by the onslaught of introspective prompts.   “Do you even know what you want?”  Kevin asks.  Clay asks which girl he wants to date.  Julian is smart  - catching on immediately, he continues the cross examination - “Do you want to be on the basketball team??”  “Write poetry?” Kevin finishes.

Archie  has no choice but  to say he doesn’t know.  Then he tries to say ‘all of them’ but that gets shut down by Kevin. The rules of dramaturgy, to borrow Veronica’s word, necessitate that the I Want song can only be about one thing, not multiple things.  Or else “you have a poorly defined main character.”

I mean.  Archie has been Barbie levels of flexible in terms of career (to borrow Cheryl Blossom’s spectacular summing up) on all previous seasons of Riverdale, so this is yet another juicy little meta self-commentary by the show.  Julian is very amused about Archie getting hoisted by his own petard, for one, and for another, he’s amused by Kevin being totally oblivious to the fact that it’s being confronted with Julian’s talent that is freaking Archie out first and foremost. 

Clay and Kevin promise that they’re going to write a different, more suitable I-want song for Archie, even though Archie is worried that they won’t be able to since he himself doesn’t know what he wants.

Done with the day, Kevin and Clay leave the music room, holding hands, being very lovey dovey.  Clay drops exposition about things going badly at home for Kevin.  Then they sing a pretty-enough duet about what they have being “no ordinary feeling” because “this is love, this is love.”  OK but it’s so castrated, boys.  So the Kevin performer has a beautiful voice, and he sings whatever he has to with resonance and conviction, but he’s a better singer than he’s an actor, because Kevin and Clay have absolutely no chemistry. I have zero sense that either one desires the other.   They’re two teenage boys engaging in what seems to be a very brave, out gay relationship at very high risk, crossing racial lines, even, and yet they have NO chemistry, NO yearning, and they make faces at each other of the type I make to fluffy dogs.  Like, they like each other, they want nice things for each other, but I don’t believe for a second that they’re attracted to each other.  So it’s really jarring, actually, and makes me hate Kevin even more.  He is worshipful of Clay for EXACTLY THE SAME REASONS that he was so shitty to Betty for - Betty gave AND STILL GIVES HIM understanding and support so he just trod all over her, lied to her, gaslit her, and was unabashedly blatant about his revulsion for her female body.    Kevin is with Clay not because he loves Clay or loves men, but because he is too insecure to be single and he hates women too much, so it’s men or nothing.  I hate Kevin.

We’re at the diner, and at first I am relieved to see Cheryl.  But then it’s a Kevin / Clay production number , this time written for women, so I know I’m in for a bad time.   Betty bursts into song about how the only girl for Archie is her.  She’s skippy and bouncy and I want to throw up.  This is how Kevin really sees her - as a boycrazy airhead.  Which she has never, ever been, not even in the 1950s AU. (How many times is too many times to say I hate Kevin in one post?)  Betty gets physically obnoxious with Veronica, kicking at her to move out of the booth.

Then Veronica sings her portion and does a thing nobody ever does.  She puts her hand right on her female rival’s cleavage, palm flat, while pushing her backwards to declare that she’s “not the kind of girl who comes in second place.”  Kevin thinks Veronica buys her boys with money (“I serve it up on a silver plate”).   He’s half right - she does, but not for the reasons he thinks.  Generosity is Veronica’s love language, and moreover, because she’s known to be rich, nobody ever refuses her extravagant gifts. 

Cheryl and Toni are forced to be the backup singers and co-occupiers of the same booth as Betty and Veronica sing this stupid song about how perfect each of them are for Archie.  Cheryl rolls her eyes so hard she almost has a stroke, and Toni looks done with life. 

We get a very very pinkish red sequence of the three of them - Veronica, Archie and Betty - playing in a band together.  Archie is silent so far, grinning at each in turn and the girls make very sweet faces at him before glowering at each other behind his (oblivious? fully aware?) back.  

Then the unexpected happens.  Toni starts singing about how Archie met her at Pop’s.  She took him for a spin on her motorcycle.  Archie rides behind Toni, who looks absolutely adorable with her huge wig and tiny biker’s outfit on her patently fake bike in front of the blue screen.   Then the nightmare continues.  Cheryl calls her “honey” in order to sing about her own sexcapade with Archie.  She puts on a non regulation siren-red Vixen cheerleader outfit, in front of a blazing fire AND  dozen candles at her house.  “Archie leaned in” apparently.

All four girls are in the band now, singing about how they each want Archie.  

Kevin really, really hates women.  He hates straight women for getting men,  but Kevin. KEVIN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.  Also CLAY YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT YOU SMUG ASSHOLE.

The lyrics to this song are appalling;�� “One boy plus four best friends/ Pretty girls getting ugly” “Best frenemies.”

“Bop on the head you twit” says Cheryl, immediately, as soon as Kevin is about to be overwhelmed with ecstasy at seeing his woman hating vision come to life.  Kevin invented the word ‘frenemies’ to be specifically shitty to women.  “Is this how you see us?” Betty finally asks.

Betty.

BETTY

YES.

YES HE DOES.

“Vapid khaki-wacky girls?”  NO. 

Oh she was so close.

No Betty. He thinks ALL STRAIGHT GIRLS ARE VAPID.  Also I have no idea what khaki-wacky means or if that’s even a real phrase, but I guess it means ‘airhead.’  Get it together girl.  He really did waste your time out of sheer contempt for you and you should be kicking him in the nuts every single time you see his stupid face.

Veronica says that she will get a better song written by someone else.   Because she knows actually talented songwriters - people who win Oscars and Tony awards.   She is thinking Cole Porter.    The lesbians add on the very valid comment that their parts seem especially tacked on.  Kevin very bitchily says that it’s because they wanted bigger parts - and this sort of airhead role is all either of them, and indeed all women, are good for.

Why does the show want me to hate Kevin so much by the way?  

Cheryl challenges the two misogynist gays to “write something truthful” and “more honest about you two.”  Kevin doesn’t like this idea,  but Clay nods at him because he wants some sort of show to exist.

The untalented woman hating gays  next approache Archie to let him know there’s a new I Want song.  They’ve decided to “focus on your quest for love.”  Archie is going to give this song a whirl because Julian isn’t there to show him up. 

The song is about choosing between Betty and Veronica. Which means the misogynist gay duo has completely not bothered listening to anything any of the girls said about how they object to misogyny in the musical.  They literally give Archie tickets with Veronica and Betty’s names printed on them, reducing both girls down to Socialite Queen and The Girl Next Door.   He does a little spin around a street lamp just outside the cinema where he’s about to watch ‘Choosing Between Betty and Veronica’ in a direct homage to Gene Kelly in Dancing in the Rain, except all I feel is sadness that I don’t get to watch Julian have a go at doing that. 

Apparently, Archie’s choices are between Wanting/ Needing,  Living/ Dreaming, and I’m not sure which one represents what.  Does he WANT Veronica and NEED Betty?  Or does Veronica represent ‘living” and Betty “dreaming”? 

So, according to the Misogynist Gay Duo, Veronica is Onion Rings and Betty is Cotton Candy.  Betty, seriously, kick them both in the nuts. 

But then the visuals in the song change and it gets suddenly very interesting.  When Betty is feeding Archie cotton candy on the school steps,  Archie turns his head away from her to take in the sight of Reggie practicing hoops, looking very handsome.  The lyrics are “They’re both delicious.”  We then cut to the diner, where Veronica is simpering at Archie, but Archie asks himself “How can I choose between two perfect things?” as he looks away from her to  look at Jughead moodily typing away in another booth. 

The posters he next sees show him the choice between basketball / athleticism and poetry.  Suuuure, looking at Reggie and Jughead are about career choices and not the boys themselves. Uh huh.  

Archie stops the song again, to confess that he’s been very bothered by the questions they peppered him with last time.  What does he really want?   Kevin freely admits that he didn’t actually care about this at all, he just wanted a song, so he wrote what for him is the most interesting thing about straight men - not their humanity, not their feelings, but their (to him) frustrating and bizarre need and desire to fuck women.  Archie tries to tell him that “that’s not really the big question that I’m wrestling with.”

Archie drops out of the musical because he has to figure some things out for himself.  Kevin is very annoyed, but Clay, because he’s more dishonest, pretends to wish Archie well on his quest for self discovery.  

I still think Archie is too freaked out by how good Julian is, and doesn’t want to hear Julian sing better than he does about Veronica and Betty. 

Veronica and Betty are hanging out at Veronica’s apartment.  Veronica says that Cole Porter has agreed to write her a little ditty so they can sing it at the musical.  Cole Porter was born 1891 so in ‘the present day’ of this AU, he’s sixty four. SIXTY FOUR.   Why did the show decide on Cole Porter???   Did they just want these girls to say COLE?? 

Anyway, Veronica confesses to Betty that she kissed Archie during the Red Scare.  Betty calmly asks her if she likes him, to which Veronica says that she does, but that she likes Betty more.   Veronica feels closer to Betty than anyone else in town, and Betty FEELS THE SAME WAY.   Betty suggests that they focus on their friendship.  And then they hold hands, because this is how heterosexual girls behave.

We cut to Kevin, who is having a halting, weird conversation with his dad.  His father seems to be sleeping at his office.  Is this why Sheriff Keller has been even more incompetent than he usually is??   He says that he wants to have his whole family together at the musical in the spring.  Kevin cannot get any information out of his dad about what’s going on with his parents’ estrangement.

The Misogynist Gay Duo have summoned the Skeptical Superfemme Dykes to say that they wrote them a better song, a truer song, like Cheryl commanded, because the two of them  heard the feedback and accepted the challenge.

This is a lie of course.  They lost their straight male lead, so now they are desperately scrambling to put some sort of show, any sort of show, together, so as to enjoy the ego high of having ‘their original work’ on stage.  They can’t even be honest about why they’re doing any of this.  And of course, of COURSE, OF COURSE, this song is actually the Misogynist Gay Duo praising themselves, with the valueless females’ participation only an afterthought.  

The song is fine.

Well, actually it’s not.

It’s deeply weird. 

“I know I’ll never find your loving in anyone else” is ordinary enough, but then comes the very next lyric, which is repeated several times: “Though I’ll try.”  Same goes for “I’ll never find your smile in anyone else” and then comes the damning “Though I’ll try.” 

???????????

This exhibits a huge amount of ambivalence - the point of reluctance - to being gay, of being in love with the person who ‘makes’ you gay. 

“I’d fight myself, you know I would/ If I thought it’d do any good.”

The Good here being, not being in love with the person who makes you - and marks you out as - gay.

This is not … a gay love song, though the gay-and-lesbian parallel love scene montage they play over it is an attempt to sell it as one.  It’s a I Wish I Wasn’t Gay song. It’s a, I’m going to Keep looking for someone who isn’t the same gender as me who will give me the same feeling, song, but then depressedly, defeatedly acquiescing to the fact that I am probably gay, for realsies, in the end.   They’re going to stay together because they don’t know how “Let go of your hand/ to start another life.”  This is the opposite of the celebration of discovering your own feelings.

Kevin and Clay are so fucked up and so shitty. 

They also are not going to come out, and will not include this in the musical.  This was a sort of bribe, to trick the Skeptical Superfemme Dykes into staying in the musical, but of course, this backfires.  Cheryl and Toni refuse to be in the musical and to lend their names to it, as long as they have to lie about being gay to participate. 

At the diner, any sort of decision making he has to do is freaking Archie out.  He can’t decide between soup or salad, even.  Jughead is there. OMG they know each other again!   Jughead says they’re both going to take BOTH the soup and the salad (Ooh?) then prompts Archie to continue what he was saying.  Archie says that KEVIN is writing a musical about him, and he doesn’t know why.  (RIP Clay, you don’t count). 

I do.  

Kevin is writing the musical about Archie because he wishes he wasn’t gay and he assumes Archie is entirely straight like he wishes he was.   Archie has the facts but not the insight - he says that Kevin is writing him as though the main decision in his life is about choosing between Betty and Veronica (which is to say, Kevin is deeply obsessed with heterosexuality of men but hates the women that are required to be a heterosexual man) but for Archie, the real Archie of S7, the thing that’s really tearing him apart is the choice between poetry and basketball, he says.

Jughead directly disagrees.  He says that Archie’s problem is the fear of making any sort of choice, that he thinks might ‘affect the rest of his life.’ He calls Archie a ‘cube.’ He also references Camus that Archie doesn’t understand.

Then, Archie suddenly bursts into non-diagetic song (or is it diagetic????) as Jughead smirks at him.  His song is about how he can’t pick two, he has to pick ONE and be a man. Pops is back with the soup, salad and sandwich, which the Archie promptly rejects.  He wants just the sandwich.  Jughead says he’s going to take soup and salad (Archie’s rejects).  Is Jughead starving in this universe?  No, right? Because he has a job that pays and stuff.  Is Betty soup (whom he got together with after Archie unequivocally rejected her in the OG time line the first time) and Veronica salad (whom he was briefly together with in this timeline after Archie rejected HER)?

Archie rushes home to tell Frank that he is going to choose poetry over basketball. He wants out of the basketball team.  Frank is furious, calling him “some kind of beatnik poet” then yelling about how HE needs Archie on the team and he won’t approve of it.  Then Uncle Fucking Frank threatens Archie - “You will regret it!” but Archie stands firm. He’s made his choice and is fine with regretting it.

Next morning at Kevin’s house, Kevin’s mom brings him a little something for breakfast because he overslept.  With Clay.  Clay departs out the window. 

WE FINALLY SEE KEVIN’S MOM. 

I don’t know that we’ve ever seen his mom, ever. She seems nice enough.  She proposes a family dinner.  I wish I cared more about her, but I don’t because she is Kevin’s mom.

Then comes the song that Cole Porter allegedly wrote for Veronica, as per whatever her instructions are.  

OK So.

I love Cole Porter. I know a lot of them by heart, especially off the Ella Fitzgerald Sings the Cole Porter Song Book album, released in - guess when - 1956.

HOW DARE THEY TAKE COLE PORTER’S NAME IN VAIN. 

This song that Veronica and Betty sing together and for each other is absolutely nothing like any Cole Porter song whatsoever in any way. WHY REFERENCE COLE PORTER?  I really think they just wanted Camila Mendes to say “Cole” and have Lili Reinhart say “Cole” back to her on screen.  It could’ve literally been any other musical songwriter otherwise - Oscar Hammerstein was a contemporary of Cole Porter!  Richard Rodgers was a bit younger than both of them!  The Sherman brothers (who wrote Mary Poppins) may even have been the right age to plausibly be friends with Veronica!  Cole Porter was a really weird choice - so the only reason to choose him was this bizarre fan service.  If anything this song sounds like Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez (of Frozen fame).

The song is pretty, and the two girls sing it pretty enough, but it’s trite as fuck and so are the visuals.  The Bee and Vee Bollywood timeout consists of their running for class president  on individual tickets at first, and then joining forces to be a co-headlining ticket.   Something about seeing the universe inside, being afraid to show your real self.  Veronica says she always needs to be the best, and Betty needs people to realize she’s more than her surface.  

 The show shows its true colors (and not the pretty lesbian ones of the balloons that the Bee and Vee ticket use at their school election campaign) in that it thinks the only valid liberation for women was getting the vote.  That’s the surface level injustice (not having suffrage) that the show can truly believe was gendered oppression.  Once that was solved, women should’ve just shut up.  Fuck off, show.

 The girls are so turned on by someone acknowledging that she might have depth that they apparate out to space to share a kiss as a comet falls.  

The Misogynist Gay Duo are completely confused by this song.  Kevin does not understand it whatsoever, because it doesn’t fit with his world view, that women can have anything other than disgusting vaginas that straight men are (to him) inexplicably obsessed with fucking.  Clay is a bit more with it - at least, he’s sensitive to the “energy exchange” as Veronica calls it, that occurred between them in the course of the song.  Kevin’s summing up of this song is SO WRONG.  He says he felt “the pain of your isolation” and even worse, the girls’ “desperate” (he really says, Desperate) “need to be seen.”  THAT ISN’T WHAT THEY SAID THOUGH, KEVIN.   They said that they saw a universe in each other.  You stupid woman hating piece of shit. I hope your mother calls you fat and ruins your confidence at the end of this episode.  For fuck’s sake.

Once more - WHYYYY are they doing this with Kevin’s character?  He did not hate women even when women were being kind of hateful to him (such as Betty outing him when he wasn’t ready to his dad).  Oh.  Is this why?  In S7 ,we get to see Toni being shitty to Cheryl in a reversal of Cheryl being problematic to Toni, so by the same token we get to see Kevin despise Betty as he should’ve done in earlier seasons??

Bee and Vee are shook, so they discuss the “primal” “charged and intense” connection they felt during the song.  Betty wants to climb Veronica’s emotionally complex mountain.

With absolutely perfect timing, Archie comes to tell the two pretty girls he’s kissed that he is choosing celibacy in order to discover himself, even though he’s fond of them.  They are so put out.  Like, dude get over yourself. 

Of course, Archie is behaving like this not least because he was infected with Kevin’s warped view of his life.

We cut to Kevin at his family dinner at the Diner. His mother is like four feet taller than his dad, which I like very much.   Kevin continues to be shit.  He is saying “The new Archie, Julian, he’s even better than the real Archie.”   This is accurate but he only came to this realization because Julian is literally the only person interested in performing his songs - THERE’S LITERALLY NO CAST LEFT because Kevin sucks.   

His parents tell him in a clumsy way that they are getting a divorce.  Kevin seems upset, but doesn’t lash out or anything, and says pompously that he has his ‘presentation’ of the musical tomorrow so he’s going to go home now.  He gets a bit sarcastic with them, I guess, but I don’t care. I hate Kevin.

Then we get to the presentation of the musical  Julian has been cast as Archie.  Clay is playing the part of Jughead. Midge and one other nameless girl have been shoehorned into the slot originally given to Cheryl and Toni (the foursome of bitches that want to fuck Archie).  Veronica and Betty are inexplicably willing to participate still, even though they were given a vastly superior song to sing that had them hallucinating space traveling lesbian sex.  The fact that the Misogynist Gay Duo are USING THE NAMES of Archie (no longer in the musical), Jughead (who hates both of them and the musical), Reggie (also out since day 1), for this show is HORRENDOUS.  Oh and fuck you Fangs, for playing Reggie. 

Veronica, I’m so disappointed in you.  You gave Jughead such hell for using your name and likeness in the genre fiction he writes, but you’re fine with Kevin doing this to everyone who explicitly said they DID NOT WANT to be involved in his stupid musical?

Anyway the chief pleasure of this number, is, of course, JULIAN.  The Riverdale MVP.  He is just so good at every part of this.  Wearing the Archie costume with the correct attitude for the way the character is set up in the musical. He’s so GREAT at theater dancing. Knows exactly how to place his weight, knows exactly how much to move, and the singing voice is just lovely!  He shows up everyone - Betty and Veronica look and sound like gifted amateurs trying to keep up with a professional.  

Featherhead applauds Julian, because he understands quality when he sees it, unlike Kevin.

Oh and Kevin and Clay hate Jughead too.  Jughead says in the musical, singing in the most obnoxious, unJughead preening way, that he’s going to be stuffing his face instead of going to Prom.  Then Julian as Archie bouncily invites him to prom (complete with titty slap).  Julian is SO CUTE. Why am I so into Julian? HELP ME.

He tells Kevin that they absolutely will not be producing the musical whatsoever.  “Original musicals are tough sells” and he’s worried that nobody will come for “Archie the Musical” but  Oklahoma will completely sell out. He has good taste, Featherhead.  Oklahoma is a gorgeous musical. 

Kevin is pissy as fuck when he comes to yell at his cast about not getting the musical that he wanted made. He’s so shit and I am enjoying his suffering.  He’s so stupid and untalented to the end - he says he is experiencing this failure because the others didn’t support him and his vision enough, and nitpicked his songs to death.  Actually no Kevin. Your songs are just shit, and your vision of other people are misogynist and reductive, plus you have absolutely no eye for performance talent.  You failed because you’re not talented enough, but sure have your violent temper tantrum.

After Kevin storms out, Clay explains to the cast that Kevin is upset about his parents getting a divorce. 

Kevin goes home and has some talk with his mom who says she loves him unconditionally and that the divorce between his parents is not his fault.  I wish I cared but I don’t. I am however annoyed that Kevin who so viciously hates women keeps having women be so kind and nice to him.

The next day, Archie approaches Kevin who is noodling around on the piano.  He thanks Kevin to thank him for forcing him to take a long hard look at himself, and says that it was useful.  Kevin says that he was practicing a song that he wrote.  I’m bracing for impact. 

It’s not horrible actually. It’s a bit confusing.  It starts out as diagetic - Kevin is playing the song with Archie.  Archie who can read music then sits next to him and reads along to the music on the page.  But then suddenly we shift into the Riverdale Musical Episode - this is not the in-universe Archie the Musical performances.  This is Betty the Riverdale Character singing the song that Kevin wrote back to him, so that he gets to have a consolation experience of directing his classmates in a song.   Betty is the first, the comes Veronica, then Choni, Clay, and then to my surprise, lots of unexpected couplings:

Midge and Fangs, singing a little duet portion and entering together are followed by Jughead and Ethel (ETHELHEAD! ETHELHEAD????)  singing as a duet who enter the music room together!    Reggie, Julian and Dilton are the next cluster.  Kevin starts weeping as all his classmates look fondly at him while they serenade him with his own song.  These are extremely kind people, to give Kevin this present though he has shown them that he thinks all of them are beneath him and was pretty shitty to them throughout the musical production process.  They even give him a group hug. 

Jughead is again the one that pops out. He’s sincerely singing this song to Kevin, along with everyone else, and his demeanor is full of sympathy.  He looks like a completely different person than the one maniacally, ragefully performing “Jughead as Written by the Misogynist Gay Duo” at the start of the show.

And may I just ask one question please - Why is Veronica able to forgive Kevin’s reductive view of all women and her in particular when she found it absolutely unacceptable in Jughead?  WHY?

Uhhh, can Julian please sing all the songs and dance every dance please from here on out?? 

I still hate Kevin, by the way, even though he’s in pain from his parents’ mysterious divorce.

And Julian Blossom singing Archie going Left/ Archie going right is A FUCKING EARWORM and it’s ringing in my head even now.

#Julian Blossom is awesome at musical theater and it has fucked me up wholesale #riverdale episode recap #riverdale s7 #riverdale episode 114 #archie the musical #too many thoughts about riverdale #anti kevin keller

[syngrafaes09]

Strange Nights | Vampire! Dr Strange x Y/n

Logline: After Y/N gets imprinted by a vampire Dr Strange, living under a fictive identity, they must unravel the cause behind her constant misadventures before their hopes are crushed forever.

Masterlist

Chapter 2 : House of Wolves

"Fine," Rachael said placidly when asked to take Y/N out to Ridge point.

'Go out with the Bartons to the river. Surely she'll enjoy swimming across the river.' Rachael felt Mathew was getting on her nerves better than Y/N. What was the need to be so nice to her? Y/N losing what rightfully never belonged to her didn't seem unfair to Rachael.

It was humanitarian to have her as they were her only surviving relatives but forgetting and forgiving her and Uncle Charles for everything was something she wasn't going to do like her dad.

"Well, good luck," Mathew said to Y/N as she headed for the stairs. "Say my 'Hi' to Clint," he added over his shoulder before leaving for the Police Department in Concrete.

Waiting on the couch as Y/N got ready, Rachael thought of her father's plea, 'Get along with her for my sake or rather for Jane's sake'. She eyed her sister skipping down the stairs. She might try for her dead mother's sake. A maroon turtle neck with denim looked rationale for any I-am-not-fond-of-cold type of person but the black jacket gave the outfit the look of a biohazard suit.

"Is it too much?" Y/N asked when she saw being gazed at with criticism.

"Maybe," Rachael replied, biting her cheeks to avoid erupting with laughter.

Rachael felt the peaceful silence was going to be interrupted when they passed the house of vampires. Y/N opened her mouth to ask something. But then she decided against it and once again turned away towards the window. Maybe she was wondering who the hell stayed away from civilization. Their house was pretty at the end of the locality. But the vampires stayed further away yet not too away for reasons known.

While she drove, she got a little bit worried about Bucky's reaction to seeing her sister. He wasn't quite happy when Jade became friends with her. He was reserved, fit to be the serious leader of the pack. A tiny part of her hoped that Steve hadn't left for the police department. He always handled situations better than anyone in the family. And Nat would surely be pleased to see Y/N.

The Barton's house was vaguely similar to the Langs. The tiny house that once had been grey had one narrow window beside the weathered blue door. But the French window box on the left side of the house filled it with a rich forest smell and the delightful chirping of the bird, making the place cheerful.

The drizzling had stopped by the time they reached the Bartons. The familiar head of Jade popped near the window when Rachael pulled up beside the driveway. With Y/N on her trail, Rachael headed for the side door, unlike the front door. Bucky was near the edge of the woods, axing trees. She glanced over her shoulder to watch Y/N flush like a tomato at the sight of the most attractive alpha of the pack. All of her being prayed for him not to imprint on her. She was going to lose her mind if Y/N invaded this family of hers.

Jade pulled her in his wolfy hug when they reached the terrace. Clint shot up from his medical bed at the commotion of their arrival.

"Dad sent his 'Hi'. How's your broken leg by the way?"

"Better. But two more weeks is what Dr Bruce says before I can go back to woods and my hunting trips." He said with a sad undertone. She nodded, waving at Steve and Nat.

"You have grown quite big," Rachael remarked as she waved at the pregnant Betty.

"We are three months due." She said, rubbing her round stomach.

"Is that little Betty or little Bruce?"

"We kept that for surprise," she answered, grinning and Nat frowned. Nat didn't like surprises unless she is a part of them.

"Where are Lila, Cooper, and Nathaniel?"

"Lila is at the Langs with Cassie. Cooper is with Bucky and Nathaniel.....," Nat trailed off, her eyes searching for him around the house and the near woods.

"Jade," she called out in a worried voice.

Jade was busy gossiping or trying to gossip with the shy Y/N. He shot his head in their direction after his name was called out. Rachael wondered whether finally Y/n had felt overdressed in front of the shirtless boys or tank-top-wearing Nat and had removed the jacket.

"What is it, mom?"

"Where's Nathaniel?"

He shrugged his shoulders at his adoptive mother.

"Must be by the river," Steve answered, loading his shotgun.

"Jade, why don't you take Y/N and Rachael with you and go to Ridge point," Nat said.

"Take Bucky and Cooper too. If he isn't there, they can go search for him elsewhere. Not a good time to loiter all alone." Steve added. Not a good time to loiter all alone was Steve's way of warning them of other packs in the town.

When they were about to leave with Steve, Natasha insisted on they stay back a little and try her muffins.

Y/N was nervous all the time she had been in the house. She wondered if the town was filled with such close-knit families. It wasn't like hers had been distant. It was well, Charles and Jane were always busy and she was sort of left out, not isolated, just left to her thoughts. It would be like the three of them would be in the same room yet in their own world. And when Nat talked about the New York floods, she felt they had not always been so distant. Once upon a time they were closely knit too.

"The men didn't take a ride or anything," Y/n asked, confused to see the jeeps lying idle, as they were upon their arrival.

Rachael considered whether she should tell Y/N about the werewolf side of her boyfriend and his family or simply make any vague excuse. She chose the latter option since it seemed less complicated and non - explainable. "They like to be on foot."

Watching Y/N gawking at a bunch of muscular men and women far ahead of them Rachael introduced everyone from the beginning.

"The house we went to was of Clint, the injured one. The pregnant woman was Betty Barton, married to Dr Bruce Barton, whom you haven't met. The one who asked about you and left before the boys, is dad's friend and colleague, Deputy Steve and the woman who talked to you was Natasha. Jade, my boyfriend is Nat and Steve's adoptive son. The brunette girl over there is Cassie Lang, daughter of Scott and Hope. Beside her are Nathaniel, Cooper and Lila; they are Clint's children. And the tallest one, the one who was with the axe in the woods, that's James Buchanan."

Y/N nodded, trying to remember all the new faces and their names.

After they walked along the river banks for a while, some of them went swimming. Sitting on the river bank and trying to make a conversation, an art she hardly excelled at, with five strangers, her nervous wandering eyes caught sight of another group of strangers on the opposite bank. Group- for they looked not too familiar to be a family. There were five of them - two of them had just got out of the water and were drying themselves, and the rest three were sitting idle. Beside them lay an untouched basket of fruits and loaves of bread.

None of them looked alike. Except for being lean and pale. Though one of the men was big-muscled like a serious weight lifter, with dark spiky hair. The blond and the blonde were staring now in her direction. The last ones, a boy and a girl were small with untidy, wet bronze hair. They looked more childish than the rest of them.

Her attention was withdrawn from them, back to the company of her set of strangers by a deep, passionate, silvery voice.

"Hello."

She shifted her position to face her speaker.

"Hi."

"I am James Buchanan. But you can call me Bucky. Didn't get a chance to introduce myself back at home," he said, grinning.

"Oh. It's okay." She felt it wouldn't be quite difficult to not lose oneself in his deep oceanic orbs.

"err, I'm Y/n Henley," she replied, embarrassed that she was to be mistaken as either too mesmerised to introduce herself or lost examining some strangers.

"You are Mathew's...?"

"Niece/Half daughter."

He furrowed his brows in confusion and then nodded.

"Umm, who are the ones on the other side of the bank?"

He, squinting his eyes, frowned, "I don't see anyone. There's no one here, other than us."

Y/N turned her neck, to check the bank over her back. They were not there. The spot that was occupied by them just a minute or two ago was empty. They had vanished into thin air. It was quite strange. Who could wrap up their picnic so fast?

Splash. Water had been spilt across Bucky.

Everyone was laughing their asses off - Rachael and Jade, sitting a little away from us with their legs dangling in the river, had their hands clutched to their stomach; so were the others who were in the river. Bucky was glaring at the boy, whom she believed to be Cooper, who had a small cracked earthen pot in his hand. The probable vessel using which he had managed to spill.

If looks could kill, Bucky would have surely killed Cooper by now. But she had to admit, the drenched man was a sight to behold - the fierce ocean in his eyes, the soaked fabric clinging to his torso in all the right places - made him devilishly handsome.

She bit her cheeks to stop the laughter when he clenched his fists. It looked as if in an instant he could pounce on the poor prankster. But then he relaxed and everybody returned to their respective tasks.

"Are you wet? Did any water get to you?" He asked, wiping his face with his wet hands.

"No, I was lucky enough," she giggled, thanking God for the space between them. Unlike him, she thought, I wouldn't be as graceful being soaked with the icy water of the river in such moist weather.

#dr strange #dr stephen strange #doctor strange #doctor stephen strange #dr strange x y/n #dr stephen strange x y/n #doctor strange x y/n #doctor stephen strange x y/n #dr strange x you #dr stephen strange x reader #doctor strange x you #doctor strange x reader #doctor strange x female reader #dr strange x reader #dr strange fanfiction #doctor strange imagine #stephen strange #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange x y/n #paranormal romance #vampire dr strange #mcu fanfiction #multichapter #multiverse #dr strange imagine

[edgarsabandonedrocketship]

So, today’s Bughead still is intriguing, right? Anyway, I found myself fixating on Betty’s notable sartorial shift and hastily wrote my take on one way she might have gotten here.

_____________________________________

Betty Cooper Wears a Sexy Top and Vest and Fibs About Why

[It’s sometime in the morning, probably really early because Betty seems like she’d be one of those annoying morning people.]

BETTY: “It’s another day in Riverdale. I must consult my giant calendar to see what’s on my docket today.”

[Betty’s finger lands on a boldly circled item that says: “Meet w/ Juggie RE mind stuff.” Her eyes widen dramatically.]

BETTY: “Oh, that’s right! Today is the day I consult Jug about those missing memories of mine.”

[Betty critically eyes the thick wool turtleneck sweater and Alice-esque blazer she’d laid out the night before. Subconsciously, she begins scratching her biceps in apparent discomfort.]

BETTY: “Hmm… On second thought, maybe this outfit ISN’T an optimal choice after all. It might be warm out today.”

[The view outside the window reveals that it is in fact snowing heavily.]

[Betty rummages through her closet and pulls out some items.]

BETTY: “Aha! This golden tan, thin-knit, mock turtleneck will be a perfect alternative. I shall layer it beneath this slim-fitting waistcoat for a pulled together yet alluring look, even though I have no reason at all to want to look alluring.”

[We cut to Betty walking to Jughead’s apartment, her coat hanging open to reveal the ensemble underneath. En route, she encounters Kevin, who’s douche-ily arresting Reggie for being all mob-by.]

REGGIE: “Whoa, Betty, you look super alluring today! Did you do something different with your hair?”

[Betty, flustered, mumbles something incoherently.]

KEVIN [rolling his eyes douche-ily]: “Oh my God, Reggie, she chopped her hair off, like, weeks ago!”

[Reggie looks embarrassed. Kevin’s face then suddenly lights up and he waggles his eyebrows at Betty.]

KEVIN: “But wait, there IS more, isn’t there? Mmhmm, yes, it looks like SOMEONE decided to trot out her most alluring mock turtleneck and sexy streamlined waistcoat combo. The question is WHY would she do that?”

[Kevin and Reggie stare at Betty expectantly.]

BETTY: “Um, no reason at all! I just thought I should dress for the weather. I’d read it was supposed to be warm today.”

[Reggie and Kevin glance around in disbelief as the snow continues to accumulate.]

REGGIE: “In what universe was today supposed to be warm?”

BETTY: “Um, I thought I read it would be in Jug’s newspaper.”

KEVIN [nodding thoughtfully]: “That makes a certain amount of sense, actually.”

REGGIE: “Yeah, Donnie Darko doesn’t seem like he does a lot of fact-checking.”

[Betty clenches her fists, signaling that she’s starting to get a bit rage-y.]

BETTY: “You shut your mouth, Reggie! Jughead Jones does so fact-check. I’m sure he just made a mistake about the weather. Anyway, I have to go now.”

[Betty stomps off, leaving behind a bewildered Kevin and Reggie. After a moment, they shrug and resume arresting/being arrested.]

[We cut to Betty reaching Jughead’s apartment. Instead of going straight to the door, she wanders into the yard to examine her reflection in the large front window. She smooths her hair and makes sure her ensemble is as alluring now as it was when she left her house. She smiles when she sees that it is.]

[Suddenly, the door flies open to reveal a confused Jughead.]

JUGHEAD: “Hi Betty. Whatcha doing over there by those bushes?”

[Betty lets out a high-pitched squeak. She then tries to play it cool, but fails miserably.]

BETTY: “Oh, um, hi Jug! I, um, thought I saw that creeper who’s been, you know, creeping around town lately.”

JUGHEAD: “You thought the creeper was creeping in my bushes?”

BETTY: “Um, yeah, I guess. Anyway, you should probably get some better curtains for this window.”

JUGHEAD: “Okay, I’ll give that suggestion some thought. I wouldn’t want the creeper to watch me putter around my living room. He might see me in my bathrobe.”

[Jughead shudders.]

JUGHEAD: “Um, it’s cold and snowing kinda heavily. Do you wanna come inside?”

[Betty approaches Jughead, who eyes her alluring ensemble in obvious appreciation.]

JUGHEAD: “You look nice by the way.”

BETTY: “Um, thanks, so do you.”

[Betty blushes and follows Jughead inside. Little does she know that he went through a very similar last-minute outfit change that same morning. But that’s a story for some other time.]

#bughead #riverdale speculation #sort of #bughead fanfiction #fun with riverdale stills

[finalbetty]

#𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐓𝐓𝐘𝐒. a highly selective, low activity roleplay blog for ELIZABETH "BETTY" COOPER primarily based of the archie horror comics issues.

a backup sideblog to & follows from @behttys.

𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖉𝖔 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖜 𝖔𝖋 ... the girl with a secret next door, lightening power at your fingertips, perfection beloved, playing innocent, blood splattered amongst pristine outfits, manicured finger wrapped silver daggers, & PASTEL PINK HORROR ?

𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖕𝖊𝖕 ! ... jughead. veronica. archie.

‣‣‣ DOSSIER + GUIDELINES. ‣‣‣ PINTEREST. ‣‣‣ MEMES. ‣‣‣

this blog uses beta editor. i will also be using the pink and/or blue colors sporadically, but if you don't like it, lemme know, and i can just not use it on your replies 🦋

DISCLAIMER: i have not watched all the episodes of riverdale, i do not plan to, either. i will watch the last two seasons because i am curious. if you're a riverdale based muse, i don't hate you nor your characters and would love to write, nonetheless. i'm sure there's some middle ground we can find!

trigger warnings ... canon like violence, guns, blades, weaponry, gore, blood, injury, etc.

#this is a backup sideblog to @behttys. #follows back from there! #⎛ mochi • 21+ • she/her ⎠

[bettycooperoutfitwatch]

an update~

Hi friends! It’s been a minute!

I wanted to share an update on the status of this project, given I’ve been in absentia for too long without one. 

I’m still very interested in interpreting Riverdale and the character of Betty Cooper through the lens of costume design. Long term, I’d really like to finish this blog having reviewed every episode of the show (I’m going to guesstimate it’ll last 7ish seasons).

That said I feel the show has sort of lost the plot. I know—that’s a thing we say about Riverdale every year, believe me, I know. But season 5...was season 5. It’s difficult to keep the long view of something when you’re still in the midst of it unfolding.

So where does that leave this project? On a bit of a hiatus. I intend to return to it once—hopefully—some things have leveled out, both on the show and in my own life. That might be in six months, it might be after it airs its final episode. I kind of just have to play it by ear.

In the meantime, thanks for following along! I hope you’ll rejoin me once I pick up the project again.

Wishing you many cute sweaters, Peter Pan collars, and plaid blazers. 

#betty cooper outfit watch #riverdale

[good-night-dodger]

I need the experts' opinion on this important topic. I feel like they missed some memorable ones, including the sweater with multicolored polka dots that Betty wore in season 4 and, of course, the crown sweater. I’m curious to know your thoughts @bettsc and @bettycooperoutfitwatch.

#betty cooper #betty cooper outfit watch #riverdale

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Sweet Pea//my only sunshine

Request: Hello good morning, afternoon or night depending on the place you are from❤ I love your work👅 Could you do a headcanon of Sweet Pea dating a sweet, shy and pure girl?? Please??? Love you❤

hey!! i hope you like this!! and i hope you’re all having a lovely day/night! also, sorry if you’re name is sandy...this one isn’t for you. she was the only sweet/shy/pure girl i could think of. 

- As soon as he meets you 

- He doesn’t like you

- Its the first day at Riverdale Hell High

- He’s surrounded by Northsiders 

- And one look at you

- He knows you’re the definition of  n o r t h s i d e r 

- You’re more like Betty Cooper, than Betty Cooper

- You’re too kind and sweet to be considered anything other than: 

- 1: a psycho 

- Or

- 2: a serial killer 

- All kind smiles

- And bright eyes that make whoever looks into them feel safe 

- Right now 

- You look more like you’re welcoming literal angels into heaven 

- Than gang members into a school

- After Veronica’s speech 

- During which you would chime in with enthusiastic ‘yeahs!’ 

- And Sweet Pea knows you’re going to be eaten alive 

- You might be able to get away with being sweet, shy and pure around northsiders

- But if you’re like that when southsiders are around 

- You won’t last five minutes 

- It doesn’t matter whose territory you’re on

- When everyone is sent away after the almost fight 

- You manage to catch him before he gets to class 

- He doesn’t really know where he’s going 

- But he doesn’t care

- This whole thing is bullshit anyway

- He wants to punch something

- And he wants to see Fangs and Toni

- Both of which seem to have gotten separated from him

- So now he’s alone 

- To everyone else he looks absolutely terrifying

- But there’s something about him that catches your eye 

- He looks...not scared, maybe nervous 

- So you scramble to find an excuse to talk to him 

- You know the serpents aren’t going to want to talk to anybody unless there’s a reason 

- So you grab the first leaflet you see and jog after him 

- You catch his jacket and you swear you’ve never seen anybody turn around quicker 

- One arm already raised and in a fist 

- The other pining you to a locker 

- He quickly lets go of you and drops his fist when he see’s who he’s about to punch 

- But the scowl on his face doesn’t go away 

- Even more so, when he glares at all of the people that have surrounded the two of you

- Its a mix of northsiders and southsiders 

- But for the first time ever, you think the northsiders have the upper ground

- So you send them a look and they leave you two alone 

- Something Sweet Pea is secretly relieved about 

- This place may suck

- But he doesn’t want to be kicked out on his first day

- Mainly because Toni and Fangs would still be here

- You’re only a little bit terrified 

- (You’re actually a lot terrified but thats not the point) 

- ‘what.’ He huffs, looking at the floor

- ‘oh.’ You clear your throat and smooth your outfit out. ‘i thought this would be something you’re interested in.’ 

- You smile brightly at him while handing him the leaflet 

- And your fingers brush past each other 

- Its only for a few seconds 

- But it starts something that lasts a lifetime 

- Both of you just don’t know that...yet

- Anyway

- He looks between it and you

- Before his scowl worsens 

- ‘is this a joke?’ 

- ‘huh?’ 

- ‘you gave me a leaflet for cheerleading’ 

- ‘what?’ Your eyes widen as you look down at the paper. ‘oh. sorry. that was the wrong thing. but, you could try out for it if you want.’ 

- ‘do you want to be shoved in a locker instead of against one this time?’ He replies and backs you even more into the cold metal 

- ‘do we go to school in the 90′s? because that insult sure sounded like it.’ 

- You can’t believe you actually said that 

- Never in your life have you ever said anything like that 

- You’ve had no need to

- Everybody is always really nice to you

- But your lips moved before you even had a chance to realize what was happening 

- And now you’re definitely going to get punched 

- But he doesn’t 

- In fact, you’re sure you see the corners of his lips turn up into a smile 

- But he suppresses it before it gets any further

- Instead muttering a ‘leave me alone sandy’ 

- ‘my name isn’t sandy.’ 

- ‘whatever!’ 

- The next time you see each other 

- Is when you’re talking to Jughead and Betty 

- Its been a week since the serpents started 

- And they’ve been avoiding everybody as much as possible 

- But today they decide to brave the school cafeteria 

- So once they spot Jones, they all gather around his table 

- You pull your attention away from the conversation you’re having with Betty and soon as you see a shadow looming over the three of you 

- As soon as you look up

- A bright smile appears on your face as you start to greet as many people as you can 

- Even offering your seat to some of them 

- They all send you confused/annoyed looks 

- Everyone but Sweet Pea 

- He’s been watching you over the past week 

- Not in a weird, creepy way 

- More in a curious way 

- Because you’re so different from anybody he has ever met 

- And you’re just so nice to everyone 

- He honestly doesn’t know how you do it 

- Because you talk to everyone you see

- And you’re always smiling 

- He’s never seen you with anything but a smile on your face 

- Apart from when you’re concentrating in class and your tongue sticks out just a little

- Which is very cute 

- There’s only a few people that he can bare to be nice to 

- But with you, it just comes naturally

- And in a weird way

- He kind of likes that about you 

- So he takes you up on your chair offer

- ‘sure sandy, if you’re offering’ He smirks down at you and you send him an unsure smile before standing up

- He’s kind of secretly sad that he didn’t get a proper smile 

- But he gets it 

- He hasn’t exactly been the nicest 

- Or most approachable person in the world.

- ‘my name is y/n’ 

- ‘okay.’ He shrugs

- He’s actually really happy he knows you’re name now! 

- The rest of the seats around the table are taken so you’re left standing awkwardly beside Betty 

- But you don’t seem fazed 

- Instead you’re trying to coax Fangs into a discussion about your History assignment 

- He doesn’t look at all interested 

- And the conversation is mainly one-sided 

- But you don’t seem to mind 

- ‘hey, northsider. if you want a seat, i’ve got one here.’ A serpent named Liam smirks as he looks at you

- The whole table goes silent 

- The serpents trying not to laugh 

- Betty and Jughead are wide-eyed 

- And Sweet Pea is just confused

- Because he barely knows anything about you 

- But he kind of wants to punch Liam in the face 

- Maybe its because Liam is always that annoying 

- Or at least thats what he’s telling himself 

- ‘oh, erm. no thank you’ You reply, you’re cheeks bright red

- ‘are you sure?’ He presses

- ‘she said no. leave her alone’ Sweet Pea chimes in and you send him a relieved smile 

- ‘i need to go’ You quickly excuse yourself and rush off

- The rest of the table goes back to normal 

- But Sweet Pea knows something was wrong 

- He may have only been stalking watching you for a week 

- But you’ve never ran away from anybody like that before 

- So he follows you out 

- And frowns when he finds you sat in an empty stairwell

- He sits beside you and you jump a little

- But you smile at him anyway 

- Only this time its sad 

- And he’s decided he doesn’t like it 

- He’d rather see Jones naked than see you smile sadly at anyone, let alone him, ever again

- ‘whats wrong sandy?’ 

- ‘my name isn’t sandy’ You roll your eyes making him laugh

- ‘liam is a dick. just ignore him’ 

- ‘i’m sure he’s nice somewhere deep down. he just hasn’t found that part of him yet’ 

- ‘do you actually believe that?’ 

- ‘yeah.’ You nod. ‘i think there’s good in everyone. Even you.’ You make sure to look him in the eye when you say the last part making him smile (and blush a little) 

- ‘whatever’ 

- ‘it just upsets me that people think they can say whatever they want to me because they know i won’t say anything that isn’t polite back’ 

- ‘you weren’t polite to me’ 

- ‘that was a mistake. i was having a bad day’ 

- ‘its not a bad thing to stand up for yourself you know. i do it all the time...maybe thats our problem.’ 

- ‘what is?’ 

- ‘well, you don’t stand up for yourself enough, i do it too much’ 

- ‘together we make a functioning human’ 

- ‘yeahhh.’ He says awkwardly. ‘i don’t think so. there are so many other parts of me that need fixing before i can be a semi-functioning human...let alone fully’ 

- ‘thats not true’ You nudge him softly 

- ‘sure its not’ He laughs. ‘maybe you need to start being a little more mean to people’ 

- ‘i don’t want to be mean to anyone. i like being kind.’ 

- ‘what if i’m mean for you’ 

- ‘thats also too mean’ 

- ‘what if i’m mean and it just so happens to be to people that aren’t very nice to you?’ He says and you send him a look. ‘okay. i won’t’ 

- He does.

- After that you two become very odd friends 

- Even if he still calls you Sandy 

- You’ve been trying to come up with a nickname for him

- And he loves it 

- Because you’re too sweet to come up with a mean nickname for him

- So instead you call him Sunshine 

- And he hates it 

- He hates it so much 

- Because every time you say it...he blushes 

- Every. Single. Time

- You continue to be sweetness and light 

- And he continues to be bitterness and dark 

- Although you are kind of having an effect on him

- Because he is a little nicer to some people 

- And Toni and Fangs have never seen him smile more than when he’s either with you or talking about you 

- He definitely likes you 

- He falls for you more and more every single day 

- Despite everything going on between the north and southside 

- But one day he just can’t help it 

- You’re talking to him 

- And you’re just so happy 

- So he goes for it 

- He’s so scared that you’re going to push him away 

- But you don’t 

- You kiss him back

- And its just as sweet as you are. 

- When you start dating its a surprise to everyone 

- Obviously 

- You are like the most opposite to each other anybody can be

- Some people think he’s been dared to ask you out 

- Others think you’ve slowly lost your mind/been brainwashed 

- And everyone else is just confused 

- At first people make snide comments 

- But they’re quickly shut up by Sweet Pea threatening them 

- And as people see that you’re actually serious about each other 

- And you kind of compliment one another 

- They slowly start to accept it

- Plus, Sweet Pea is so much nicer when you’re around 

- They start to get used to it 

- Some people even think its quite cute 

- Plus, it starts a truce between both sides 

- Like a successful Romeo and Juliet 

- Anywayyyyy

- He  l o v e s teasing you 

- Its one of his favourite things to do 

- Because its so easy to make you blush or stutter 

- And so he does it all the time 

- You get very sweet good morning texts 

- But rather dirty goodnight texts 

- Followed by a sweet one 

- And he’ll whisper in your ear when you’re talking to your friends 

- ‘that dress looks amazing on you babe’ Cue you smiling. ‘but it’ll look so much better on the floor.’ Cue you blushing like mad

- And he definitely sends inappropriate texts at inappropriate times 

- But his favourite thing is when you don’t understand what he’s just said 

- Because you’re so confused 

- And he thinks its so cute 

- He also continues to call you Sandy 

- Forever 

- But you still call him sunshine 

- Sooooo

- He also always has your back 

- If someone is being rude to you 

- He’s threatening them in a heart beat 

- ‘what the fuck did you just say to my girl?’ 

- You’re also rarely apart so if someone is mean to, they’re gonna get their ass kicked 

- But on the rare occasion that you aren’t together 

- You are all he talks about 

- Whether its relevant to what he’s doing or not

- If he’s watching a film with Toni and Fangs 

- ‘y/n would like this’ and ‘that character is like y/n! but she’s much cuter obviously’ 

- Or if they’re just hanging out and talking 

- ‘y/n once ate that...she didn’t like it’ or ‘hey did i tell you about the time y/n did that?’ 

- ‘yes!’ 

- ‘you’ve told us 1000 times’ 

- But you’re exactly the same about him 

- And thats what so great about you two

- Because you love each other no matter what 

- He loves that you’re the nicest person in the world 

- Who wouldn’t?

- Because how lucky is he that he gets to spend his life with the sweetest human ever 

- And you secretly like the fact that sometimes he’s a bad influence on you 

- Because thats part of him

- And you wouldn’t change that for the world 

- He could be the most cynical person in the world 

- But to you, he’s literal sunshine 

✨taglist ✨ 

@popcrone818​

#sweet pea #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea x you #sweet pea x y/n #riverdale #riverdale imagine

[random-imagines-blog]

Wide Awake {Hiram Lodge x Reader Oneshot}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2350 Summary: Lodge-thrown fundraisers are always a splendid affair - even at a high-school. A room familiar to the both of you brings back memories.

The party was absolutely elegant, everything that it had been promised to be. When the Lodges had said that they were going to throw a fundraiser for the high school, no one had been expecting something cheap and tacky. But this was still beyond all. You had to go to the big city to get a new outfit for the occasion, since you had nothing that suited. It cost a pretty penny, which you could barely afford given your meager teacher’s salary. But it was worth it for the feeling that you had once you walked through those gymnasium doors and seen it entirely transformed. Mr Lodge himself even slipped in next to you, offering you a glass of champagne. “It’s been a while since I’ve planned a party. What do you think?”

“You did a wonderful job,” You admitted. You had seen this gymnasium go through a lot - different dances, prom, events, sports, but whatever Hiram Lodge did was grander than that. He even managed to get rid of the old sweat and shoe smell. Now it smelled of whatever flowers those were on the tables. You accepted the champagne glass and took a sip from it. Expensive stuff. Not the cheap bottles that you were used to. “I would almost think that you were professional.”

Hiram chuckled beside you, and held out his hand. “Hiram Lodge.”

“Oh, was I not supposed to know that?” You laughed but took his hand and gave it a proper shake. “Y/N Y/L/N. History teacher here at Riverdale High School. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you in person, Mr. Lodge.”

“Please, just call me Hiram. I’ve heard excellent things about you from Veronica. You’re one of her favorite teachers. The one I hear about the most, in fact. I’ve been interested in meeting you for quite some time.”

“Oh,” You said, a little taken aback that Veronica seemed to admire you enough to tell her father about you. She was an excellent student of course, but never went above and beyond in your class. “Well, she’s been a wonderful student. Brilliant mind. Impeccable style. I don’t have to guess where that came from,” You said, motioning around the gym. Josie McCoy was on the stage singing a soft song to greet the guests as they came inside. “Well, I won’t keep you from the rest of your guests, Mr.Lodge. I’m sure I’ll see you about.”

“You will,” He said with a charming smile, and went off to do just as you thought. To rub elbows with Riverdale’s finest. Try to raise money for a renovation on the school for another gymnasium. But you noticed that so far, you were the only one to have received a glass of champagne from the man himself. You took another sip as you took it all in. It looked more like an event hall than something that was attached to the school.

You soon became attached in conversation with student Betty Cooper, one of the brightest girls in your class. She complimented your outfit, and you two started conversing about what a good job the decorators had done. Eventually her friends, Veronica Lodge, Jughead Jones, Kevin Keller and Archie Andrews joined the conversation. You were one of the younger teachers at this school, only about ten years older than the kids themselves, and they always seemed comfortable talking to you. “You all look lovely as well,” You smiled.

Teenagers. They always seemed to grow up so fast.

Eventually they would move on, talking to their friends. People their own age. Felt like just yesterday they were coming in as freshmen. Made you smile as you watched them, going on to dancing with each other, having a good time.

“Are you having a good time, Professor y/l/n?” Hiram asked, coming up to you with another glass of champagne. You had just finished your first, had set the empty glass down on a nearby table.

“Oh please,” You said, taking it from him gratefully. He was such an attentive host tonight. It was really a splendor to behold. “Just call me y/n. And yes, especially since someone keeps bringing me champagne.”

“Can’t let my little girl’s favorite teacher go thirsty,” He would say. He kept on smiling, his teeth were dazzling white, like he stepped out of a toothpaste commercial. He was quite a good looking man. “I haven’t taken a walk around the school since I was a student here. Has anything changed?”

“Apart from the complete transformation of the gym tonight, I can say with certainty that nothing changes around here. At least until you came around with this fundraiser. So the most you might pick up is old memories.”

“Care to accompany me through memory lane?” Hiram offered. “Since I can’t stand the sight of anyone standing around by themselves at one of my parties.”

“Ahh, well, if that’s the reason,” You said, and you took his arm once it was extended to you, walking out of the magical looking place into the more mundane halls of the high schools. “Anything yet?” “It smells the same,” Hiram said, causing you to laugh. You found yourself walking towards the trophy case, where he stopped and looked into it. He seemed to be scanning for something - and his eyes lit up once he found it. You didn’t have to ask what it was, or go looking yourself. There was something in there with his name, what else could he possibly be looking for? “Looks like it was just shined this morning,” He said, triumphantly.

Yes, Hiram Lodge had a trophy inside of the case for winning the Wrestling State Championship. And you could see that he was still proud of it. You couldn’t blame him. By the look of his body, he had kept up that athletic spirit.

“Because it was,” You said with a laugh. “It was the punishment for detention today. So don’t be surprised if it’s more of a spit shine than anything else.”

He laughed along with you and then you gave his arm a little tug to continue on through the school. “I don’t even think they’ve painted the lockers since I’ve been here,” He said, running his fingers along the metallic doors. “I bet I can remember where mine is.”

“Really? You gonna show me?” You asked, challenging his memory. He smiled once more, and made a left at an approaching hallway. And then another left. And then a right. You were watching amused and slightly astounded, especially as he stopped in front of locker 714.

“And this is it,” He said, putting his hand against it. “Had a lot of good times, this locker and I.”

“No way.” You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “This was my locker.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” You laughed, and turned your back against it, taking in the familiar view. “Not too far from the best vending machine in the school, but not close enough to any of the bathrooms that you had to worry about residual smells. It really is a good locker. It’s a shame it couldn’t have been passed down through the family.”

“Yes, a shame indeed,” Hiram would chuckle, putting his hands behind his back, standing in front of you. “How ... interesting that we had the same locker. What else do you think that we shared?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I wasn’t on any of the sports teams,” You laughed, trying to think of what you and Hiram Lodge might possibly have in common. You did not think that there could be much, apart from roots in this town.

A smirk went over his face as he took a couple of steps away from you and towards one of the old janitor closets. “What about this closet?”

Immediately, memories came flooding into your mind, just by the look of that door, by the way that his hand looked on the knob. Well, not his hand on particular. But that of the boy that you had dated during that time. This infamous closet was known as a make out spot for many of the teenagers, back in his day, in yours, in the current time. More than once you had walked by and heard sounds coming from it. Remembering being that age, you would just keep on walking, but clear your throat so that hopefully no one would get pregnant in there.

“Yes, I suppose we all have the closet in common,” You said, watching as he swung the door open. It was empty inside, save for the darkness and a couple of old brooms leaning against the wall. You were almost expecting for there to be a couple in there now. “I wonder if I could even fit in there anymore.”

“Why not see?” Hiram asked. He motioned inside with a raise of his eyebrows. You laughed and started to protest but it was just walking into a room for a second. What could be the harm? So you stepped inside, feeling swallowed up by the lack of light - but the room didn’t have any light to begin with - that’s why it was such a good make out spot. “Well?”

“It’s a little cozy, but I still fit just fine,”  You said, doing a little spin. You weren’t bumping into anything but you could feel how small the space was. You turned back towards the door to leave but a figure moved inside, and then it was closed. “Hiram?”

“Now this feels familiar,” His voice said. A flame flickered between you two as he had brought out a lighter, and you could see just how close he was now. “I couldn’t resist. But look - we fit.”

“Yeah, we do,” You said, laughing a little nervously. Your earlier thoughts came back to you, about how Hiram was a very good looking man. And now here you were, in the school’s make out closet, after hours, with him. And he was standing oh so close. “So umm...”

He chuckled and even that sound was a lot more confident than your own laughter. Something brushed by your chin. It took you a second to realize that it was his fingers. “I’ve been wanting to meet you for a very long time,” He said, moving even closer. The flame went out, the lighter back into his pocket, leaving you both in the absolute darkness. His chest was against yours. His hot breath, sweetened by the alcohol, against your face.

“Why?” You asked, voice shaky.

He didn’t give you a verbal response. But he did give you a physical one. His fingers brushed against your lips, searching for exactly where they were, and then his own lips soon followed. It wasn’t what you had been expecting at all. It was soft, but it was still needy. His tongue tried to slip between your closed lips and you allowed it to, letting him explore. He moaned into it, just a very light sound, but enough to send a tingle up and down your spine. It made you feel like a teenager again.

He was respectful. Classy. Though he had initiated this closet-makeout-session, he wasn’t crossing any lines. He wasn’t touching you inappropriately, but his hands stayed by his sides. You’ve done a lot worse in this closet during your own time.

Laughter came from down the hall, causing you both to break apart. His arm went around your waist for the first time that night, stopping you from jumping back against the wall, or from knocking something over. Then the sound of chatting. Veronica and Betty. Your own eyes were wide, your heart beating fast with nerves. You didn’t breathe until the sound had passed down the hallway.

Hiram opened the door and peeked out. There was a faint glow of light coming from the windows into the hallway so you were able to see that he nodded that the coast was clear, and you stepped out of the dark closet, leaving it with more memories than you had going in.

“Enjoy the rest of the party, y/n,” Hiram said, starting to walk in the opposite direction of the gymnasium. “I will be seeing you later.”

He said it so matter-of-factly that you believed it. You brought your fingers up to your lips, feeling how bruised they were. You watched him walk away, before gliding back towards the party, trying not to let your inner excitement show. The rest of the party went on without a hitch. Even Veronica took to the stage, singing a couple of songs, which you cheered for. She might not have the musical talents of Josie McCoy but that girl still had a gift. Overall, the fundraiser seemed to be very successful.

Hiram made another appearance, thanking everyone for coming out. Thanking the catering, the musical guests, the decorators, all of it. And then a pianist took the stage to create a soundtrack as people signed their checks and left the gymnasium, going back to their cars.

You were among the last of the scragglers, helping out the cleaning crew. You had your cellphone in hand, calling a friend to take you home since you had been drinking champagne all night, when a honking from a car caught your attention. Hiram Lodge was standing by the open back door of a sleek, black car. It was idling in place, and he was looking straight at you. He raised his eyebrows, and motioned towards the backseat. You took a few seconds to think about it, before putting your phone back into it’s place and walked towards the car.

He joined you in the backseat. The driver started to drive. This may not be the make-out closet, but you and Hiram certainly treated it like it was.

#Hiram Lodge #Hiram Lodge x reader #Hiram Lodge oneshot #Riverdale #Riverdale oneshot #x reader #oneshot #one shot #hiraml #request

[jovalencia]

anyways since I know it’s coming you can’t say ‘Carmen how can you hate marvel when you watch riverdale‘ well because riverdale is a legitimate work of art, entertaining, a show without flaws, and something based on comics that have characters other than boring white men but also men who don’t wear exclusively stupid outfits. also it has betty cooper

[riverdale-retread]

 Riverdale Season 4 Ep 2 (Spoilers!)

There’s been an odd disconnect between Jughead’s life and Archie’s.  The summer when Archie was on trial was the second best of Jughead’s life, and this summer, despite (because of?) Fred’s death, this is the best summer Jughead’s going to have in his whole life (probably, given S5a). He gets to have dinner with Betty and Archie at Pop’s every single day for weeks, and Alice is ascended out of Riverdale, Jellybean is at home and FP is high functioning.  

Jughead, in the midst of said dinners, though, can’t help but look out for his writer self, to constantly run a hidden narrative in his head -Hey, Writer Self, are you remembering this? Do you see this? Joan Didion has a famous quote (for which I don’t know context): Writers are always selling someone out.  I think she maybe meant they sell someone else out, but because he’s who he is, I think possibly Jughead sells himself out.

The Set Up - Everyone is Literally Back to School

- Turns out that Football went on at Riverdale, we just didn’t see any of it in S3 because Archie wasn’t on the team. Jughead as narrator is too bored to show us, I think, but Archie has made the team and it’s all still there, being football. 

- The important members of the cast are assembled for Season 4!  Charles, the most boring staid crazed serial killer of all time. Mr Honey, who has the most sour look on his face from carrying the weight of that name.  Corpse Jason Blossom!   Munroe Moore! (I mean. WOW. When he’s not stressed out and fighting for his life in dire circumstances, Mr. Munroe Moore! has a smile on him.)   Mr.  Chipping!  Mr Chipping looks like a super extra version of Mr Honey, by the way - the dimpled chin, the excessively expressive lips, the hair.   And of course, BRETT!  DONNA!!

Bughead-Varchie Parallel Scenes

- Betty wants to “savor life” and Jughead goes Mmhmm and she dips her head to kiss him and  wow that is ... OK Betty, that is not where I thought you were going with that but I support you.  And the hawk eyed observers of fandom who noticed that Archie has no intention of leaving, he is just gonna sit and watch Bughead making out  until Veronica forces him to depart are right on, no exaggeration. From where he’s sitting he’s looking at Jughead, not Betty.

- So then they all get it on, but apart. My favorite fandom take so far has been that three of the four would be so down for a group thing, but for Veronica and her selective application of Catholicism.  I think, of course, that since Veronica loves Betty most, she just can’t stand to be in the room when fuckin’ Jughead is touching her Betty, but that’s just in my head.  This is why Veronica is a bad host, and makes Bughead make do on the sofa, rather than letting them use the very empty master bedroom. 

Jughead v Betty

- Jughead is so happy.  I love Jughead’s happiness, which is so short lived, in S4.  He just had a summer where he got his fill of Betty without Alice being there to fuck things up. He has a family, and is settled in the Cooper house. He gets recruited to a fancy school and his dad is over the moon happy about it. 

- Betty is where Jughead was S1 , but both better and worse off. Dad dead, Mom & Sis gone, she’s technically sort of officially homeless but then she has her nice bedroom to live in and with Jughead in it.  (S5A bitterness, again - When the seesaw tilts against Jughead once again, later, Betty abandons Jughead in favor of Alice.)

- WE MEET BRET!  Bret  prefers to call Jughead Forsythe, and that’s actually kind of great.  Jughead really does secretly want to be a Forsythe, doesn’t he? He wants to go to Yale, he wants to have a fancy prep school experience, he liked Dead Poet’s Society.  Bret is also not wrong about the outfit that Betty wears, either - It is Sweet Valley High - and this is also how you know Bret immediately has the hots for Jughead. (Jughead meanwhile has no thoughts whatsoever that Bret is jealous of Betty.)

- As soon as he realizes the prep school thing might really become real, Jughead can’t stop smiling. And Betty is sour as fuck about it. Jughead was willing to give up what is clearly a dear dream of his, to receive a top notch education where people take writing seriously, just to please Betty, and it takes Betty FOREVER to decide he shouldn’t do that. She gives him permission in the most reluctant way, and even ropes in Veronica to try to urinate on Jughead’s parade.  She’s that much of a bitch, Betty.   She induces Veronica to say the worst possible things about the school that Jughead can’t stop smiling about. He hasn’t smiled like this all day everyday since the days when he was first falling for her, when he smiled at her all the time. Betty wants to sneer at the Salon, wants to sneer at the school, and isn’t proud that Jughead has read and understood Moby Dick, either. 

Ah fuck it. I hate Betty.  I give up trying to like her.

- The way Jughead runs so excitedly, away from Betty, to literally ‘chase’ a dream. Oh so beautiful. Why can’t he have nice things?

Reggie  Picks the Wrong Person to Consult

I’m going to quote from myself:   Instead, Veronica (because doormat  and therefore is trying to make him a Protagonist again) brings in Archie, and everything involving Archie has to be dumbed down to inflicting grievous bodily harm through violence. (from my recap of S3 E21)

- The same thing happens to Reggie here. Archie looks, smiles and talks like a hero, but he’s an antihero who is poisonous to everyone who relies on him. Archie has taken Reggie’s dream girl, and is about to take Reggie’s dream career by bringing in his new friend Munroe.  And under Archie’s influence, Reggie’s relationship with his father loses all opportunity to be healthy through a reconciliation. 

Sidebar: OH NO so someone makes a direct homophobic joke about American prisons and it’s REGGIE to MUNROE about SOAP.  Egads.

- What is known about Reggie’s home life? Well, he doesn’t hide it. Reggie told Kevin, Josie, and Betty that his dad gave him a black eye back in S2. Betty knew when she collected the original Midnight club to the Bonne Nuit for her failed confrontation (the night Jughead got cuffed to the fridge).  Veronica saw Reggie with the black eye when she came to get the Scoobies to come help her break Archie out of prison.  But nobody ever asks follow up questions or tries to intervene.  Is this how Reggie’s beauty and physical power just work against him? (In the same way my other favorite , Sweet Pea has an implied history of just being limited to the fuck buddy role because he’s a handsome tall leather wearing biker?)  And Archie just didn’t give a shit.  Archie who has never had a black eye from practice, or even, boxing,  just always believed Reggie that his eye bruises were from football?  Oh gosh,  Archie. You’re a championship level Dumb.

-Oh and now that Varchie is back on, Veronica is of course ultra vicious to Reggie.  My GOD the abuse that Varchie pour on Reggie’s head!   Veronica accuses Reggie - MY REGGIE - LOYAL HIMBO KING REGGIE - of selling her out to the tabloids instead of suspecting her FATHER the same day she tells Archie the guidance counselor said she was a shoo in for Harvard. Maybe not that bright after all?  When Reggie, who showed up when she summoned, because Veronica might need something and he is loyal, he get accused and he has a huge terrible black eye.     

- Of course, I LOVE this backstory they’re giving Reggie, fleshing him out.  He has a monster father, but he still wants to please his father, and it’s humiliating, to have your father humiliate you.  It’s no accident that Reggie is so taken with Veronica, either.  Reggie needs to be appreciated and belong and have his loyalty count and he picks exactly the perfect wrong girl, of course, the one who is locked into an electra-oedipal gumbo with her dad.  

- The soft way Reggie smiles sadly and says in a soft voice, What do you want me to say?  OMG.  And he tells Archie, I was always so jealous of the relationship with your dad, he always stuck by you, I've no idea what that feels like.  (!!) THE UNSHED TEARS IN REGGIE’S EYES.  

- So having someone whom he considers a peer (another not-bright Jock) calling his dad out empowers Reggie, which is great, but that dumb jock is the accursed Archie, so it’s not.  This friendship between boys would be so touching except no, because they are so destructive.  Instead of talking to his dad first, he just destroys his dad’s car.  He’s threatening his father, and he doesn’t realize how scary he’s being, because Archie stands there and laughs. Marty must have pissed himself.  Raise a son with violence, grow him into an ubermensch and then he is like HI DAD LET’S BE VIOLENT TOGETHER.  And so they got to ‘talking’ but I am wondering if Reggie just terrorized his father, thanks to Archie’s influence. 

Kevin Needs To Let Go of Betty (or Has He?)

- Kevin is back at school and trying to pick up the pieces of his life and Betty is such a bitch to Kevin. Kevin calls Betty his ‘former best friend’ and honestly I don’t know how far back he has to reach for the ’former’ because he hasn’t been an intimate, never mind ‘best’ friend of Betty’s since that night they both discovered Archie had abs.  

- Of course and GODDAMN IT, Kevin says  “I am so sorry” for the events at the Farm.  I see this kind of relationship explained on the internet all the time - the abusive person pushes and provokes the victim into a state of frenzy, and then turn around and call the victim violent and crazy in order to control them.  This is what Betty does to Kevin, all the time.  All the microaggressions (undressing him in public) and disrespect and sheer meanness that Kevin has to endure get wiped out because of what happened at the Farm, even though Betty was there because she chose to.  Also, did Kevin know that she was going to get a lobotomy???  That wasn’t shown, at all, and I just watched it.  So Kevin has to like BEG and she has him fill out an application.  And then Betty uses him.

- Betty is lying when she says she told Kevin about Alice being undercover  from a place of TRUST because that’s not why she does it.  It’s an act of aggression and intervention against what Charles and Alice have, together, without her, because Betty has to be the center of everything for her mother, must be the most important person in the room. Charles and Alice forged a relationship where Betty doesn’t really matter or at best is secondary, so she has to blow that up. 

Cheryl is a Witch

- We find out that Cheryl’s middle name is Marjorie, and she hosts a big party.  But the thing that is important is this: Mr. Honey is the ultimate Cheryl-level nemesis (in high school he was the Cheryl of his school, surely?) so Cheryl somehow has a giant beehive dripping with honey and buzzing with bees dumped on his desk.  The only explanation is of course CHERYL IS A WITCH.

Veronica Pulls off a Great Musical Number

- All that Jazz is my FAVORITE Veronica dance performance.  I want to care more about the paparazzi and the Lodge Trials, but other than really liking those old timey mikes they set out in any array in front of her, I find myself rather bored.

FP Jones Is Wrong 

- FP says, It’s gonna be a good year, a really good year, and Jughead so wants it to be true.  Cut to spring break, Jughead is missing and everyone is screaming for him. 

#justice for reggie mantle #himbo king reggie #justice for kevin keller #kevin keller was wronged #preppy jughead is the ultimate dish #jughead jones #reggie mantle #stonewall prep #riverdale #riverdale recap #riverdale episode recap

[statticscribbles]

Soul

Summary: Kurtz/Reader, Soulmate AU, you gain the injuries of your soulmate and can hear their voice when they sing

You’re watching unimpressed as Malachai throws you a plastic bag filled with clothes.

“Come on, we have to get to school in ten. Your bag is in the car and-Christ you get the bad send-off?” He watches as you move jerkily, deep purple smudging under your eyes, bruises on your wrists and your shoulders.

“You ever been slammed into a brick wall twice over, after getting used as a fucking punching bag, strung up on a hook and everything?” He swallows any comment, opening the bag and handing you your clothes, you tug the crop top on and the flannel over it, before he snorts gesturing to the faint handprints he can see against your hips as you tug the shorts up.

“Aww poor thing, are you sore?” He laughs.

“You owe me so many shakes from that place you brought me lunch from.”

“Pop’s. How hard is it to remember that name?” he rolls his eyes pointing to the back to show you where your bag is, you slide in next to it and buckle your seatbelt.

“Riverdale High, by the way. Southside got shut down while you were in the slammer.” You nod shouldering your bag as Lance starts explaining most of the students.

“Archie and his friends are the goody two shoes group, well besides Jughead, and his gang, although they’re much less violent then the Ghouls.They have some members to watch out for, Sweet Pea, Fangs, oh and Kurtz, although he’s not really a snake. And then Cheryl and Toni with the pretty poisons or whatever game they’re playing.” You nod letting him continue to explain how a few of them had found their soulmates. He continues to talk and fill you in more about the gangs and the tentative truce he’s formed with the Serpents. He parks two blocks away and you give him a two finger salute.

“Thanks for the lift, now I have to go meet Betty Cooper for my tour? The blonde one that’s with Lodge right?” You look to him for confirmation and he nods.

“Glad to see you were paying attention, do you have other clothes? You’ll get dress-coded in that.”

“You didn’t bring me anything else.” You hiss at him as you cross the street moving towards the school.

You’re letting Betty pull you around you can feel eyes everywhere and you wonder if it’s from the bruises peeking out or the clothes. Maybe it's simply because you’re the shiny new student, everyone unsure how you’ll act.

“Not now I’m giving a tour.” Betty breezes by a redhead boy, Archie, your brain supplies. You watch as Betty’s eyes falter at Veronica a blush rising as you spot the identical hickeys on their necks.

“People open about soul mates here?”

“Most are, everyone wants to find their one, ya know?” You nod pretending the anxiety in your chest is from the new school not the dread of someone rejecting you. She prattles on carefully explaining your schedule and is halfway through giving you dirt on your teachers when Cheryl walks up flanked by the rest of the River Vixens.

“You simply have to try out.” She smiles, eyes roaming down your outfit.

“You seem in shape enough, we can always use more trainee’s” You find yourself smiling up at her.

“I’d love to.” You swear you can hear Lance scream in the hallway. You laugh to yourself.

She beams and wanders off, you can see Ethel nervously talking to Chuck Clayton, he’s leering over her in a way that is making her uncomfortable, Betty smiles apologetically at you.

“Sorry let me just pop over and-“

“Hey, Ethel right?” You step forward waving to her slightly.

“We share history, I’m new, in case you couldn’t tell and I was wondering if you could lend me your notes Betty said you’d have no problem doing that and-“ You turn as if seeing Chuck for the first time.

“Oh hello, are you her soulmate?”

“No but I might be yours. Chuck Clayton.” Your eyes light up.

“Oh, Ethel would you excuse us for a second, Betty wanted to ask you something.” You wait till she’s safely out of the way; you can see the rest of the football team hovering you smirk, licking your lips.

“So since you’re new I’m guessing you haven’t heard about me and my-“ You grip his wrist, your nails cutting into the fleshy under part, digging them into his wrist as he jerks it back. You stumble back pretending to be shocked already feeling someone’s hand on your shoulder. Betty pulling you away from Chuck, who straightens up and glares at you.

“Of course you’re friends with Cooper; you should have seen-“

“Chuck, let me give you some semi-friendly advice, since I’m new, and you clearly haven’t heard of me, or where I’ve been for the past few months.” He arches an eyebrow and you can tell a small crowd is gathering.

“It doesn’t matter how well you think you’re hiding it, you hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it; I will rip you apart.”

“Oh really you and-“ You snort as he goes quiet feeling Lance glaring from somewhere, just enough for only Chuck to see.

“You think Betty has darkness, I pity when you meet mine.” You laugh and he turns away from you as you return to Betty and Ethel’s side.

“You two okay? You look a little shocked?”

“We’ve never seen him retreat like that, that was incredible.” You smile and turn your head to your schedule when the bell rings.

By the time lunch rolls around the news of Chuck’s retreat had spread.

“Talk of the town you are, no clue what you did but he’s freaked.” Veronica nods to you and you sit on the edge of the couch watching everyone settle into their usual seats. You stare shocked at Kevin Keller.

“Yes?” He tilts his head as you look away smile on your lips.

“That scar on your eyebrow isn’t yours... I didn’t think I was ever going to meet you, pleasure’s all mine Preppy.” You laugh when his head whips up.

“You know Joaquin?”

“Yeah we used to bunk together, he’s an angel, amazing talker got me out of soooo much trouble in, where I used to go to school.”

“Oh you’re from the Southside?” Kevin asks, just as Cheryl returns with the Vixens.

“Who’s from the southside?” You cringe at Toni and Sweet Pea’s voices.

“This one here and-“

“Never seen them before in my life.” Toni states, Sweet Pea looks at you, his eyes widening as he pulls Toni and Fangs behind him.

“Someone we stay away from. All of us.” You raise an eyebrow at him. You can feel a hand on your shoulder and sigh.

“Yeah coming, what’s up?” You mumble as Lance moves you away and towards the outside area. You don’t look back at the group hearing other voices joining in on the confusion as you walk away. Lance slams you against the wall smirking.

“Good first day so far?”

“With you dragging me off during lunch, no, but for the most part it’s been manageable.”

“What was with threatening Chuck, he do something bad?”

“Well he’s basically the head male; gotta take him down before I do anything else. Duh.” You slide out from under his arms that cage you; you don’t flinch when he slams them back around you.

“No. You are not in that yard anymore that shit will have consequences, they’ll want you to prove that you’re dark.” You look unimpressed and nod.

“Yeah and? I can doesn’t mean I’m stupid enough to let them goad me into it. I’m not you.” You slip from under his arms, scowling as he catches your wrist tugging you back, you know someone sees with how they move slightly forward, black hair, potentially Reggie from the football team, one of the safe ones Lance had mentioned. You turn back twisting Lance’s own weight against him and pinning him against the wall, scraping his cheeks against the brick. You lean over your mouth against his ear.

“I am not your plaything, nor am I you. You want to try the usual shit, you’ll be getting my real response.” Lance coughs snarling as you walk towards the school once again.

You sit back next to Betty who frowns and looks to Jughead.

“Kurtz bailing on us again, said he got a lead to who his soulmate is and wants to find them soon.”

“Kurtz? He another Serpent?”

“No, our friend, his soulmate, well we all think they’re being abused, he gets bruises, cuts, and scars all the time, he’s really worried about them. He’s not exactly the friendliest but we still want to help his soulmate at least.”

“How can he hope to find them, like the world is pretty big?”

“He knows they’re here in Riverdale.”

“How?” You look confused and Josie, Archie’s soulmate beams.

“Me. My songs are pretty much only played around this area, he heard them singing once and knows they have to be around here. Hey Reg, what’s up?” Josie turns to smile at Reggie Mantle who walks up.

“You okay?” He nods to you and you turn smiling.

“Yeah I’m good thanks Reggie, I appreciate it.”

“You sure? Seemed like Lance has it out for you.”

“Lance was messing with you?” You watch the Serpent’s tense looking back to the voice that spoke.

“Hey Kurtz, guessing that lead was no good.” The boy nods as he sits next to Jughead.

“Yeah just like the others, now what is this about Lance causing havoc?”

“Chaos actually. It’s his thing, he likes to pretend he’s the new Malachai, mostly just a rip off to be honest.” Sweet Pea nods to Kurtz and you watch as he rubs his own wrist.

“You okay?” You can see a bruise peeking out from his collar, he nods shrugging.

“My soulmate, they get in a lot of fights.”

“Fights? You should probably have a word about that then.” You laugh a little and he scowls.

“Little hard when I can’t talk to them yeah.”

“You can sing right? Sing-ask.”

“Sing-ask?”

“Yeah like you don’t make up a song but you use an already existing song to form out a ‘letter’ of sorts, you can’t use it for places but its good for planning meet-ups. Where are you-“You look confused as Kurtz vanishes.

“He’s embarrassed of his singing voice.” You nod, frowning when you can hear your soulmate singing.

“You okay?” You tilt your head at Veronica as she asks.

“Yeah, my soulmate likes to sing on lunch break. It’s nice.”

“Do you do check in songs?”

“Oh yeah, I usually don’t get to sing much, my dad’s pretty strict.” You bite down the rule you want to spit up. Singing leads to identification; which leads to jail.

“Oh that’s so cute! Do you have specific songs for specific times of the day? Like Betty and I used to sing goodnight to each other.” Veronica places her hand over Betty’s who blushes.

“We have a couple, mainly just comfort songs, I think my soulmate deals with a lot. He's always sad.” You shrug listening to him start and cut off halfway through the song. You laugh a little.

“It seems like he wants to say something, but he’s failing I guess.” You laugh again closing your eyes and focusing on what he’s singing. You can’t help but smile laughing once again as the half song ends.

“What?” Betty and Kevin’s eyes spark.

“Apparently my soulmate wants to meet up, we’ve tried meeting up in the past but my dad found out and kept me home. He thinks I’m too young to find my soulmate; that I still need to mature and grow-up before we meet. I think he’s just scared about me dating.” You cover the truth, your father is scared, not of you dating, but of exposure, you know you can’t exactly bring your soulmate back to the house of the dead, back into the Ghoulies without him first being vetted.

“We can help you sneak out!! Just say you’re staying with me or Betty.” Archie nods excitedly and you smile.

“Alright, I’ll call him now.” You pull your phone out, calling your brother instead. You cringe when you can hear him outside the student lounge.

“Hey, uhh, can I stay over at a friends today? I have to work on a biology lab. Her name is-“

“Call him yourself.” He hangs up and you glare.

“Did he say no?”

“No, he said he was busy, I’ll call during Biology then.” You smile excitedly.

You’re working on the lab in Biology when you step into the lab closet after the teacher said you could call.

“Hey, I was just wondering if-“

“You wanna stay at a friends for the night right? Your brother called and told me. Fine. On one condition.”

“Of course.” You know well enough not to answer before hearing but the thought of meeting your soulmate has you willing to take whatever punishment he deems fit.

“I pick you up in the morning, now which house?” You suck in a breath.

“Let me get her address and-“

“Her name is all I need.”

“Betty Cooper.”

“Glad you’re making useful friends.” He drawls before he hands up, you retreat back to your seat shooting a thumbs up to Betty.

“He just said he wanted to pick me up in the morning.” Betty smiles.

“That won't be a problem we can just explain to your soulmate when you meet him.”

“We?”

“I’m not letting you go to meet your soulmate alone, what if they try to hurt you?” I can hurt them more. You smile at her.

“Thanks Betty.”

“Besides Veronica and I could use a date, where are we meeting?” You laugh a little as a chorus of Pop goes the weasel plays again as it had been for the past hour.

“Somewhere called Pop I think? Well Pop goes the weasel so.” You shrug and Betty laughs.

“Oh that’s clever, is there a time?”

-It’s a quarter after one I’m a little- Pop goes- It’s a quarter after one I’m a little- Pop goes-

“Quarter after one, no clue if its in the morning or not. Since tomorrow is Saturday.” Betty smiles.

“Well Pop’s it is, we can get a late night burger, hopefully he means one am.”

You’re trying not to fall asleep, Betty had insisted you both show up in your pyjama’s and you’d been thankful when she offered for you to change in the bathroom, you wipe the last smudges of the makeup from your neck hoping she wont comment on the lingering finger prints around your throat. She doesn’t as she pulls you to Pop’s mindful of your wrist. You try your best to bite down the tang of rejection, you know will bloom once your father picks you up tomorrow.

“So who’re we looking for?” You blink at her shrugging.

“Someone with this.” You tilt your neck up exposing the full handprint over your throat.

“O-Okay.” She chokes a little and you nod in understanding.

-You’re about to sit in a booth when a hand waves you both over.

“Kurtz, hey what’re you doing?”

“Following a lead, my soulmate kept singing Pop goes the weasel, either they were babysitting or were trying to respond to the message I left. Hey Veronica.” He nods as she walks up smiling.

“Betty I got us a booth so Y/N can wait for her soulmate, on her own.” She nods to Kurtz who arches an eyebrow.

“You’re waiting for your soulmate?” He leans forward slightly.

“Yeah, I’ve been listening to, it’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now, on repeat for three hours, so I guess this was the appropriate time. God forbid my soulmate couldn’t just mean the afternoon.” Kurtz snorts.

“Your soulmate a night owl then?” You sit across from him shrugging.

“I’ve probably given him that impression of me. My dad’s super strict to say the least.”

“Strict is a funny way to say abusive, unless he didn’t give you that?” he tilts his head up towards your neck and you catch the hand print on his.

“Oh my god. Shit.” You shift in the seat looking nervously at him.

“What? Is it the Serpent thing?”

“My dad, oh my god.” You look up wide eyed once more.

“You’re the like gargoyle gang guy…...” He reaches out hand brushing yours.

“You don’t have a problem with that.”

“My dad, fucking- I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” You squeeze your eyes shut and can feel him slide over to your side of the booth, his arm wrapping around you.

“Hey come on, your dad won’t know I’m into gargoyles, it’ll be fine.”

“He adopted me when I was five.” You blurt out, and Kurtz smiles.

“See you’re not even related to him, you’ll be fine I promise.” He offers a crooked smile.

“My brother, well adopted brother, Lance. We grew up at the sister’s of quiet mercy, we-“ You cut yourself off shaking your head and curling into his side sighing.

“This is nice.” You let yourself stay curled in his arms trying your best not to think of the scars your father left marking you and Lance as his.

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#kurtz x y/n #kurtz x you #kurtz x reader #kurtz riverdale #kurtz #jonathan whitesell #jonathan whitsell imagine #jonathan whitesell imagine #kurtz x male reader #kurtz x trans reader #stiles stilinski x male reader #male reader insert #trans reader insert #gender neutral reader #gn reader #nb reader #non binary reader #riverdale request #riverdale reader insert #riverdale imagine #riverdale #riverdale male reader insert #written #stattic

[papipopsicle]

AFTERTASTE PART FIVE

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Reader

Genre: fluff and some angst

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether sex and friendship can co-exist without causing conflict. Including OC's Flick and Cherry, a bisexual and lesbian in a sapphic relationship who are best friends of Y/N.

Song: Candy by Doja Cat

Warnings: swearing, minors consuming alcohol

Words: 3.6K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

     Y/N lasted two weeks before thoughts of even throwing the bet came to mind. She had been strong so far; making sure to wear her tightest outfits and highest heels, being extra touchy-feely with Archie and not reacting to his moves in the slightest. Her personal favourite moment was sitting on his lap at the Twilight Drive-In and giving him a hard-on whilst Kevin and Betty sat next to them non the wiser.

But now, on day eighteen, she needed reinforcements. The redhead realised his attempts were failing miserably and he couldn't help his reactions to Y/N’s provocative movements. He turned it up a notch, becoming rather possessive of the five foot blonde knowing she enjoyed that side of him. He carefully walked the line of teasing and taunting like a tightrope, always whispering in her ear and letting his hand rest on her inner thigh under the table. And now, Y/N found herself wanting to pounce him whenever he caught her eye. It was getting out of hand, so she called for the only two people who could possibly help.

"Have you tried doing the bend and snap?" Cherry asked out of the blue, her head rested on her girlfriends lap as the three watched Clueless from the comfort of Felicity's bed.

"Babe," the blue haired girl said with a sigh and took a handful of M&Ms, "I love you but I don't think our answer lies in a two-thousand's rom-com."

"Hey, it worked on you, didn't it?" The brunette grinned smugly and leaned up to kiss the girl above her, earning a handful of chocolate to be launched in their direction and a disgruntled groan from the blonde sitting beside them.

Y/N pouted, "Please stop reminding me how single I am."

At this, the two girls pulled away and sent her the same bewildered look, "You wouldn't be if you told that hunky ginger you're in love with him!" Flick barked, a hand playing with the hem of her partner's shirt whilst the other flew up in desperation.

The y/h/c girl sent her friends an incredulous glare, it only growing when their shared 'you know I'm right' smile made an appearance. She took a handful of sweets and irritably shoved them in her mouth, "I am not in love with Archie Andrews... I just want his body on my body... in a variety of ways, and locations... multiple times."

"Right, so let me just get this straight," Cherry sat upright and gathered her hair over one shoulder, she paused the film and sent the petite girl a serious look, "you really think a no-strings-attached relationship can actually work? Have you even seen Friends With Benefits? It doesn't work! Sure it's all fun and games now but it's only a matter of time before one of you catches feelings and shit gets real. Then we'll have to pick sides, obviously you automatically get us, but I really liked Archie, he was promising..."

"What my gorgeous girlfriend means, is that we won't have this relationship ruined because you two can't keep it in your pants. We've put a lot of work and effort into this ship and it isn't going to waste, this isn't some TV teen drama shit, there's no need to wait until season 6 to actually be happy. Don't be Lydia and Stiles." Flick rounded up, taking the remote and pressing play.

Y/N simply sighed and slouched against the pillows, her attention turning back to the TV as she sulked, "I came here for your advice, and honestly now it feels like my moms are telling me I can't have sex with my hot best friend because they ship us too hard romantically. How can sex ruin a friendship? That's like saying extra sprinkles ruin ice cream! Anyways, none of that matters unless I win this stupid bet."

"You know Y/N/N, asking a lesbian and a bisexual whose only ever been with a girl on how to seduce a boy isn't exactly your best move." Cherry commented, snuggling under her blanket with a near-empty bowl of mini-pretzels at her side.

"My advice? Just be yourself, dumbass. Clearly for some weird reason he's into that, so it's only a matter of time until he gives in and this insanity will end. Boys think with their dicks and have a lot less will-power than us. For fucks sake, he's sprung when your name's mentioned in passing conversation, clearly he wants to bone your brains out. Wait it out, you're one stubborn chick when you want to be, you got this."

Two days later, on one rather fateful Friday night, Y/N found herself in the midst of a party thrown by none other than the Blossom twins. It had been a while since she'd spoken to either of them, but since their entire year was currently making out on the couches, the invitation wasn't all that strange. She and Betty had spent the evening getting ready whilst rocking out to the cheesiest music known to their generation. The smaller blonde wore a little red number with lace cutouts, and only managed to convince her taller friend to ditch the mom-jeans for a conservative royal blue knee-length dress. Baby steps, she told herself whilst trying her best not to cut a deeper neckline in the mass of material.

Betty Cooper had absolutely no idea what was going on between two of her three best friends; and although she'd always been silently jealous of their closeness, she was used to it and didn't think twice to question it. Y/N spritzed her neck and wrists with her favourite perfume, Daisy Dream, and gave herself a final once over in the large mirror beside her wardrobe.

With perfect timing, like some magical intuition, Y/N’s phone buzzed, notifying her their ride was outside. She grinned at the taller girl and slipped her black Louis Vuitton's on, "Ready, m'lady?"

"I-I don't know, Y/N/N." Betty panicked, wringing her hands together as a worrisome look etched onto her face, "What if my mom sees us leave? She'll kill me if she finds out we're going to a Blossom party."

"She won't. And even if she does, she'll only see us getting into a car with Cherry and Flick, just tell her they invited us over for a girl's night or something... Stop worrying about the future, and start living in the now! You look smokin', I look hot, we are not wasting my precious work on Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore again, capisce?" Y/N didn't allow even a millisecond to pass before dragging the taller girl downstairs with her where they met Polly and Ren.

The four took a few quick photos together and hightailed it out to the red convertible sitting on the edge of the drive. Polly switched places with Flick and the happy couple sat in the back on each other's lap, leaving Y/N and Betty sat beside them like two spare wheels.

When the group of girls arrived, Cheryl graciously directed them down to the basement. Thoughts of being led down to a torture chamber came to mind as the redhead opened a large squeaky door, but those died down when the smell of liquor and sound of house music hit them like a brick wall.

So now, an hour into the night, it was just Betty and Y/N standing at the side of the room with a red solo cup in hand. Polly ran off to find her beloved boyfriend as soon as she arrived and Y/S/N just so happened to find herself hitting on a nearby houseplant. 'Flicky' were playing beer pong, well cider for them, against Reggie and Moose, and were winning with only one cup standing.

The petite girl, who still stood below her friend even in four inch heels, was about to save her sister from some terrible mugshots, but a strong arm stopped her in her tracks and pulled her back into a muscly chest.

"Where'd you think you're going, gorgeous?" A deep voice breathed in her ear, and a second later she ripped herself away from the boy, instantly recognising him and wishing to be the other side of the building right now. Though her actions were quick, the brunette pinned her to the nearest wall and stared hazily into her wide chartreuse-coloured eyes. Y/N actually laughed at the irony of the location, finding it funny that the last time she was in this position it was rather enjoyable.

"Fuck off, Chuck." The girl took another sip of her drink, not bothering to pay the boy any attention because that's exactly what he wanted. Though, when his arms moved from the wall to around her waist and neck, forcing Y/N to look up at him, she felt like punching the stupid smile off his smug face. But with one hand stuck at her side and the other holding her drink, she simply settled for chucking her remaining vodka-lemonade at the boy.

He chuckled cynically and wiped his face down, eyes darkening as he pushed himself against her with even more force, "Now, now. That's no way to treat the best fuck you've ever had. Why don't we go find somewhere quiet, for old times sake." He commanded, his tone leaving no room for questioning or any form of verbal consent.

But Y/N scoffed and chucked her now empty cup at his face, "Do you really want to be known for rape, as well as leaking a fifteen year old's sex tape, that you were a part of let's not forget?"

He sighed and brought a hand up to cup her face, coarse fingers gripping her jaw achingly tight, "Y/N/N, aren't we past that? I was mad and you embarrassed me in front of the entire football team, what did you expect me to do? Can't we just forget about that?" His other arm aggressively tugged her closer, "C'mon, you know you want me, slut."

Y/N had her eyebrows raised intolerably the entire time he spoke, and when she realised this had no affect on him, she cocked her head ever so slightly. That word felt so good coming from Archie's lips weeks ago. But with Chuck's intoxicated breath panting down on her made up face, she felt completely and utterly violated, physically and mentally.

She hid the look of disgust as best as possible and simply let her best fake alluring smile grace her features; Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and looked ever so sweetly into his darkened eyes, "Clayton, we were together for what, eight months? And somehow, in that entire time, you never made me orgasm, not even close. I feel sorry for any girl, or whoever else who has to put up with your shitty oral. Don't you ever, ever use that word against me or any other girl. Don't touch me, you do not and shall never have consent to touch my body, remember that." She smoothly spoke, her voice laced with sugar-coated venom.

Using his drunken and shocked state to her advantage, Y/N unhooked his arms and rushed off to find one particular individual. She fought through the endless crowd of teenagers and after ten minutes of searching, Archie was nowhere to be found. A light tapping on one shoulder caused the y/h/c girl to spin on her heels, ready to slap a bitch if it were another jock.

But thankfully it wasn't, and Y/N let out a sigh of relief when her eyes found Betty's figure. She took her taller friend by the arms and asked, "Have you seen Archie at all? There's three fucking gingers at this party and I can only spot two."

"Last time I saw him he was in line for the bathroom, and that was around five minutes ago." The taller blonde said, peering down at her friend in concern as a hand smoothed down her signature ponytail instinctively, "Is there anything I can help with?"

Betty's question almost flew right past her as she searched for the toilet queue, but thankfully she managed to make out a few words, and quickly put two and two together. Y/N shook her head and finally looked at her friend, "It's alright, but one of us is about to lose a bet, I'll tell you who once I find out."

Betty's expression contorted at that, and she began to feel an uneasiness settling in the pit of her stomach. The Cooper girl did her best to hide her jealousy along with her crush on Archie. She'd always viewed Y/N as the unwanted cog in the machine, but as the months went on she couldn't help but feel like a spare part.

With that, the petite girl marched off and soon found herself pushing through throngs of her drunken classmates until a head of fiery-red hair poked up above the crowd. He was joking and laughing with Reggie, both wearing giddy smiles whilst sipping from from their cups every so often.

Y/N was used to being easily knocked, because she was so tiny in relation to the 6 foot something masses of muscle she called her friends, so it came as no surprise when someone practically rammed her right into the middle of the boys' conversation. Luckily, being the gentleman he was, Archie's arm instinctively wrapped around her waist to steady her toppling body. Their chatting ceased and it took Reggie no less than a second to start talking to someone else, leaving the red-haired boy looking down in confusion at his best friend.

"You okay there, Tiger?" He asked, gingerly hooking a few strands of her y/h/c hair behind her ear, making Y/N crane her neck up to watch him intently for a moment. She bit down on her lower lip and let out an intoxicated little giggle, "My knight in shining armour, however will I repay you?"

Archie breathed out a deep chuckle and smirked, "I can think of a few ways..." he all but muttered. Y/N’s thoughts flickered back to just moments ago in the lull of silence, and that was all the boy needed to lead her out of the packed basement. He saw the look confliction in her eyes, not quite understanding it, "has something else happened, Y/N/N?"

"Do you remember last spring, when I finally broke it off with Chuck... and then he, you know?" She tried to clarify, but her words wavered and fell short.

"Released a video of you two without your consent and only got suspended for a week?" Archie almost growled his voice felt so heavy. He hated remembering their relationship. Not only because he wanted Y/N to be only his, but because he was forced to see his best friend humiliated and heartbroken all at the same time and couldn't stop it.

"That's the one." The girl looked down, unable to meet his eyes as her mind raced back to one of the darkest weeks of her life. But she pulled herself away from the horrible memories, "Look, it happened and I can't change that, but I really don't want to be around him right now."

"We'll go back to mine right now, Tiger." Archie affirmed with his hand now cupping her made up face, bringing her gaze back to his own.

"Woah, didn't realise you two were a thing." A slurring Reggie turned back around and winked at the pair with his usual cheeky smile, "Don't worry, I won't tell."

Y/N giggled and hiccuped at the same time, "Fuck off, Reg."

"Hey, if you hurt her, Andrews, I'll knock you into next year." The Asian boy only partly joked with his best friend.

The Robins girl pulled herself away from the wall and wrapped her arms around Reggie, "My hero!"

"Yeah, yeah." He hugged her back, not too hard though as in his drunken state he was scared he might snap her in half with all his muscular might. "I love you too, Y/N/N."

She gave him a sweet peck on the cheek before returning to Archie's side, clasping his hand in her own and leading the both of them away from the raucous party. Nobody seemed to notice in their happy little haze, even if they did, most people assumed the two were sleeping together anyway.

"Does it bother you at all?" Y/N small voice called as they walked down the narrow roads back home. She didn't know whether the answer would be something she wanted to hear, but it had been bothering her for the past minute or so.

Archie's brows furrowed, slightly more sober and completely not understanding his companion's train of thought, "Does what bother me?"

"That people assume so much about us? That we're sleeping together? That we're a couple?" She pondered.

"Not unless it's something that puts you in a negative light, otherwise I really couldn't care less about other people's opinions. Everyone has them, but the only ones that matter to me are my friends and my family's." Archie reassured her.

Y/N giggled at her own joke, "I thought you were going to say they're like assholes?"

The boy looked at her incredulously.

"Everybody has one." She grinned and wrapped her arm around his waist as his own found its way to her shoulders, pulling her into his warmth. The rest of the walk was silent after that, cool summers air bringing an ease to Y/N's tipsy frame. Twenty minutes must have gone by before they saw the Andrews' household finally in view, it was anything but awkward though. Their hands clasped swinging between them, the girl's feet beginning to ache from the regrettable choice of five inch heels.

They shared giggles and passing comments that wouldn't make sense the next morning, gleeful smiles hanging from cheek to cheek. Before Archie had the chance to hunt for his key, the front door opened with Fred sending the two teenagers a short look of annoyance.

"Get in already." He rolled his tired eyes, not wanting to question why his son's best friend was currently looking up at him with hidden adoration as she slipped off her shoes.

Y/N hiccuped and sent the adult an apologetic smile, "Sorry if we woke you, Freddie."

"I couldn't sleep anyway, kid, don't worry about it." Fred gave her a kind smile and felt her small frame hug his own. He returned it as always and after a few moments, let the teenagers carry on upstairs. The girl immediately went into the bathroom and found her small bottle of cleanser under the sink, removing her heavy make up before returning to her best friends room.

Y/N couldn't help but gawk at the sight her eyes were greeted with, the redheads body clad with tight boxers with his warm bedside lamp lighting the room, and his muscular build, perfectly. Her hands lightly traced his back, making Archie jump before leaning into her touch.

"I'm still going to win this bet," She whispered, shutting the bedroom door and pulling the boy down to his bed with her, "but Arch, can I ask you something?"

Y/N's head nearly reached the wall as the redhead towered over her, hot breath tickling her skin while he rest himself against her without putting any weight down. "Of course." The words floated from his lips so easily, knowing his whole life he'd do anything or answer whatever she wanted.

"Do you think we're meant to be more than friends? I think I've finally realised it's not that we were never and will never be romantic in each other's minds, it's always been that way but we've just never really known." The Robins girl seemed so sure of her words, staring up into his amber eyes with so much honest admiration.

He watched her for what felt like forever, not knowing whether it was the alcohol in them both or just that the little game they were playing didn't matter anymore, and decided to throw that away. A short gasp fell from Y/N's lips as Archie caught them, rolling over and pulling her on top of his chest.

"You're right, I've always wanted us to be more than friends Y/N/N, ever since Leonardo went missing when we were in sixth grade and you kissed my cheek when I found him." Archie propped himself up and returned that same gesture. She stole a kiss but he didn't let it end, running his fingers through her curled blonde hair.

"Arch?" Her small voice called out, sitting atop of his torso still in her revealing red dress. He nodded back with the biggest smile, unable to control the pure joy as her next words tumbled into the world, "Will you be my boyfriend?"

"I don't have a choice, since I lost the bet, do I?" He mocked, smile not falling as she hit his chest and rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course, yes, I'll be your boyfriend."

PART SIX

#fanfic #fanfiction #archie andrews smut #archie x reader #archie andrews imagine #archie fluff #archie riverdale #archie imagine #archie andrews fluff #archie andrews fic #archie andrews x reader #imagine #riverdale imagine #riverdale #riverdale fluff #riverdale smut #riverdale fanfiction

[bettycooperoutfitwatch]

4x15 Chapter Seventy-Two: To Die For

Jughead died as he lived:

The world’s most dramatic bitch.

But that’s okay, because his plan hinges on everyone else in Riverdale being just as messy—and it works!

We finally reach the flash forward we witnessed in 410: the cropped red trousers, the stripe-y Juliet puff shoulders.

I’m not even gonna get into the waste of public resources (search parties, forensics, all of this costs money), I’m just gonna wave my hands and shrug, it’s Riverdale, etc. 

One, this shot is really well set-up (the mirror fracture? Nice), and two, appears to have been filmed on a potato.

Two potatoes. 

Three if you include Kevin, whose exposition-delivery work in this episode is especially thankless.

One of Betty’s two most-utilized purses this season, which are actually the same purse with slightly different stylings. This one is the simpler of the two.

The peacoat we’ve also seen a few times. 

Cousin Cheryl puts Cousin Betty on suicide watch. It’s a lot. 

So much of the core four’s plan hinges on other people. This is pure Scooby Doo logic. Let’s not dwell.

I repeat, for like the 89th time, this show hasn’t taken set dec photos since season one. 

The raccoon eyes!

We’ve literally seen all of this before, so I won’t repeat myself.

Well, spoke too soon.

This sweater-of-much-debate first popped up in a flash forward at the end of 405 and then once more in 408. We’re really getting to the end of these flash forwards now, it would seem. 

...

Do you think Betty and Jug got into some felon role-play after all this was over?

You know what, never mind, never mind. 

🙃

This shirt looks a lot like one Betty wore in 105. Maybe they’re the same, maybe they’re not. There’s a lot of season one touches in this ep. 

Well.

Initiate phase 2 of the plan, I guess: let’s plan a funeral. 

Stripe-y ribbed turtleneck and a suede mini. This outfit will come up again, we’ll talk about it then. 

Throughout this episode, we see a lot of different characters wear touches of tartan. It’s not the first time we’ve seen most of these people wear tartan or some kind of check print detail (yes, even Hiram)—but here it sort of reads as their tribute to Jughead. 

Veronica’s collar.

Hiram’s shirt.

Archie’s tie.

FP goes for a glen plaid suit and a windowpane tie, the extra is clearly genetic.

Betty’s funeral attire is very classically Betty—sheer, swiss-dot puff sleeves, and A-line cut to the dress. Her hair is notably down, like the first time we saw her at a funeral. 

A lot of people argue that Betty wears what looks like a J+B necklace in Jug’s dream opening to 222. I always thought that was her B pendant necklace, but idk anymore—I could be convinced given its showing here. 

(Jellybean’s tights.) 

Peep Betty’s pointy-toe kitten heels, with the little metallic embellishments. 

Does Riverdale have a very active amateur theatrical society? Everyone’s really bringing their A game here.

Betty reads an excerpt from Arthur Conan Doyle’s story “The Final Problem,” which...girl.

To keep it brief (ha), Conan Doyle intended “The Final Problem” to be the last Sherlock Holmes story—which he tried to ensure by killing off his hero. 

But then fans got mad at him and after a while of that, his hero rose from the dead in “The Adventure of the Empty House.”

What a way to telegraph, Elizabeth. 

(Jellybean’s jellybean necklace!!)

(There’s nothing so enjoyable as hearing Ms. Reinhart call someone a bitch in that Midwestern twang. Truly, a delight.) 

Anyway. People still have doubts about Jug’s life-status. 

Initiate phase 3: the nuclear option. 

I really can’t tell if this ribbed long-sleeve turtleneck is a pale pink or an oatmeal, and that frustrates me. If it’s pink, well then Betty’s wearing pink and a rusty red-ish color—meaning the next phase of this master plan is underway, and it involves Cheryl being Riverdale’s other resident chief messy bitch:

Pink and red—as we’ve discussed several times before—are Betty’s Archie colors. 

They’re not always a symbol of a romantic connection, but that’s defo the weight costuming is trying to impart here. 

At this point, we (technically) don’t know that Jughead isn’t dead. Using this motif in this moment is just another way of trying to convince the audience that the act everyone is putting on here is real—both the internal audience within the show (RHS, the town-at-large, but more specifically the Stonewall group), and the external one (us).

Visually there’s also almost too much going on with this shirt. Contrasting patterns, contrast v-neck, Juliet puffs on the sleeves. It’s a lot, it’s visually confusing in a way that mirrors the actual plot machinations of the story. Her mental state is stressed. 

I include it for the boots and the skinny jeans, which are very season one-esque. Don’t @ me. 

A moment for Veronica’s knit. 

Betty wore this very shirt, in another coloring, in 318! I like to think of this as another little costuming easter egg, that it suggests B & V are secretly on the same team here—and after all, they are. 

Same purse from earlier in the ep, and a jacket that first debuted in season 3. 

That’s the face of a girl on a mission.

Listen.

We know. 

Boyfriend’s S shirt. 

...consider how tame that fake kiss above is in light of this message.

Anyway: 

Pour one out for the sex bunker of death!! 

What favor did Betty do for Archie such that she is owed a milkshake? Give me friendship shit!!!

Visually, this is an intentional throwback to episode 102, in which Archie tries to apologetically text Betty after telling her he’ll never love her, only to be shut down.

The yellow shirt, the ballet bun, the shorts, the same gd teal phone case. It’s all intentional.

415: 

102: 

We haven’t seen Betty and Archie interact much this season between the time Fred died and...basically this plot. So these itty bitty crumbs are what’s supposed to make us believe all the shit that goes down several eps from now, but we’ll cross that (very dumb) bridge when we get to it. 

The cable-knit is kind of season one throwback, too.

On the right her earring looks like a heart with an arrow through it, but idk idk. 

Her kicks are the same she wore in 403. 

I could say I’m including this here because she’s wearing plaid, it’s in honor of Jug, blah blah—but honestly it’s just cause she looks gorg here. That’s all.

Summary: T e n outfits, ten. That includes two we’ve seen previously in flash forwards, two sets of pajamas, and one instance of boyfriend-wear. 

Is Betty a River Vixen??: ...only in Jug’s Stonewall spank bank. Also, isn’t the season over? Football ended. It’s fake murder season now. 

Backpack 2.0?: Mhm.

The floggingink Memorial Peter Pan Collar Count: with all the season 1 shit being thrown at us, you’d expect it, wouldn’t you? But no. 

Best outfit: I’m into the funeral look I think! 

#4x15 #s4 #riverdale #betty cooper #betty cooper outfit watch #i cannot convey to you how infuriating it was to make this post #tumblr is broken

[go-ldy]

I have zero self-control, so, if you're up to it: best and worst episode(s) of Riverdale?

I love this question! Sorry for the delay in answering, I have had to give this the deep thought and contemplation it deserves! Best episodes is easier for me tbh because there are only maybe one or two episodes of Riverdale that I did not like. I’ve decided to break it down into my best/worst for each season.

I’ve tried to approach this being as objective as possible but.... you know, I am only human, and I am easily swayed when Betty and Jughead make out a lot. 

Season 1

Best

1x10 or 1x11 with 1x11 having a slight edge. Obviously, the bughead angst content in both is A++ and what I am here for, but I also think that 1x11 in particular does a good job of moving the plot along while developing the characters at the same time (Riverdale is not always good at this ok so it is important to remark on it when it meets this bar!). We have Homecoming, and the incredibly awkward Cooper-Jones pre-Homecoming dinner, and Varchie sneaking into FP’s trailer behind Betty and Jughead’s back, and Veronica desperately trying to determine if her father had a role to play in Jason’s murder, and FP’s arrest (!!!) and Jughead running off at the end in a funk. There is a lot that happens AND everyone goes to a dance! It is sadly rare to have a Riverdale episode where everyone feels intertwined to the main story and where the Core 4 get to interact and develop. Plus, Jughead is so adorably excited about his and Betty’s family meeting even though they are 16 and have been dating for like two months. MY HEART. He was already planning their wedding.

Worst

1x09. It is the only episode of season 1 that felt filler. And I would still rank it higher than the other “worst” episodes on this list. But the main plot of Archie being used by the Blossom family is ehhhhhh. And frankly uncomfortable given his all too real recent past of being used by Ms. Grundy with no acknowledgment from the show whatsoever that these gross adults keep using this 16 year-old kid to serve their own purposes. So yeah, probably the worst of season 1.

Season 2

Best

I have to go with 2x14. Okay, okay 2x05/2x06 are probably better written and better plotted and have less dialogue that makes me want to end myself, but hear me out. 2x14 is the absolute essence of Riverdale packed into 40 glorious minutes:

Each couple has a spat with each other and then against each other, we get Betty versus Jughead, Archie versus Veronica, Bughead versus Varchie, and it is great???? yeah, you all fight over Hiram’s nefarious plot to buy up all the newspapers in town. 

Bughead listens to Varchie have sex and the vice-versa like an hour later as normal friends do.

Betty and Veronica talk about abuelita (I must know more about abuelita!).

An entire scene where Archie wakes up early to chop wood?? At someone else’s house? Even though he’s only there for a weekend?? Again, very normal, every day teenage behaviour. And Veronica pervs on him while sipping coffee. Get it, V.

Some of the worst, cringiest dialogue this show has ever had, and that is a HIGH BAR including: “A Vughead Kiss? Right now, in the present, might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” THIS IS THE WORST LINE OF DIALOGUE EVER WRITTEN, LIKE OF ALL TIME, I CAN BARELY WATCH. IT IS NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD, END ME.

Archie doing push ups in his bedroom, because OF COURSE ARCHIE RANDOMLY DOES PUSHUPS BEFORE BED AND ALSO WHEN UPSET HAVE YOU SEEN HIM. And then Veronica propositions him for sex and Archie, still mad about Vughead, turns her down. And this is an actual scene that takes up time in a 40 minutes episode??? I love it.

Lodge Lodge

They play monopoly

And then get attacked by home invaders!!!

Who Archie chases into the woods only for one of them to be killed by Andre so that Hiram can later frame Archie for a murder he didn’t commit.

anyway 2x14 is the best episode of Riverdale maybe ever, tell your friends.

Worst

2x11 for the reasons @arsenicpanda has articulated before - mostly involving the clumsy way that the writers tried to parallel the Serpents to the plight of Native Americans. And Jughead’s awkward white saviour plotline, eugh. Although bonus points for Archie trying to wrestle to impress Hiram for some reason?? I can’t hate it.

Season 3

Best

Season 3 has a lot of contenders. I’m torn between the parentale breakfast club episode (which also featured crazy-G&G-Jughead, a fave of mine) and the Prom episode, but I’m going to go with 3x20, Prom Night because this episode is a sheer delight from start to finish. Hal Cooper fakes his own death by cutting off his hand and then he replaces it with a hook - legends only. CHONI FOR PROM QUEENS until the dream is killed by Edgar. U KNOW that is when Cheryl started reconsidering the whole Farm business even with the whole being able to talk to Jason’s corpse thing. 

Bughead investigate shit and make great faces. Varchie go to prom as the least platonic “friends” ever and it is adorable. Everybody somehow wears the best outfits even though Bughead changed the Prom theme the night before. Betty being chased through the school by the Black Hood/her dad is legitimately terrifying. 10/10.

Worst

3x09, hands down. I have a lot of beef with this episode. My main beef is that 3x08 ends on this great cliffhanger and there is zero payoff? Jughead and FP come home to find the town is under QUARANTINE, no one is allowed IN OR OUT, and then in 3x09, he is snuggling in bed with Betty and it was like????? but what about the quarantine?? how did you get back in?? honestly the first time I watched 3x09, I thought I must have skipped an episode, but NOPE, the quarantine cliffhanger was waved off and I will never forgive them for this.

Secondly, most of this episode is spent in Archie’s feverish dream/hallucination and I just find dream episodes real dull, sorry Archie. I love that Archie tried to box a bear, I mean good for him, but the the dream sequences are boring.

Season 4

Best

A tie between 4x14 and 4x15. I just love these two episodes. The Preppies are legit the best villains this show has ever had (especially Donna, my love <333). There were real stakes for the Core 4, and even though I was pretty sure Jughead was not dead, I was still insanely happy to see him again in 4x15. Betty threatening Donna in the woods while wearing Jughead’s sherpa is a total bamf move, MARRY ME, BETTY COOPER. Jughead’s faux funeral is a+. Even the BA fake dating scheme (before it went horribly awry in the following episodes) is hilarious to me. Like, what kind of horrible plan is this?? if Betty seriously dated Archie following Jughead’s death, she would need therapy STAT, but the town of Riverdale is just like “oh ok I guess Jughead is dead.” Okay, sure. Plus Donna taunting Betty over the fact that she apparently can’t go two hours without needing to bone Jughead and therefore Betty’s plan was doomed to failure. How was this a real scene that happened. Oh my god, these episodes are so great.

Worst.

4x17. I mean, obviously. Please don’t make me have to explain.

#arsenicpanda #riverdale #riverdale discourse #bughead