Edmund: Its so strange to see another human in Narnia that isnt my sibling, but im glad youre here
Caspian: I can imagine
Edmund: I mean, finally theres someone who understands all of the human culture who I can talk to without bickering, but still, when I saw those two Telmarine guys I was like "JESUS CHRIST THERES MORE", haha, you know?
Caspian: ... yeah...yeah I get it, I understand everything... everything human- just a quick question uh... whats a jesus christ?
Edmund: s-
Edmund: sorry what
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Peter: oi mate could you pass me a bo'lo'wa'er please
Caspian, crying: SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HES SAYING
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Lucy (on the dawn treader): Well thats quite a storm, its raining cats and dogs out there!
Caspian: ... I...Im pretty sure its raining water
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Susan, struggling to string her bow: *quietly* fuck
Caspian: whats a 'fuck'?
Susan, whos bared witness to all of his confusion and had to explain everything for the past 72 hours: I dont have time for this
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First Cuts
Part 1 | Part 2
“Hey,” Steve says breathlessly. “Y’know that thing that we are not mentioning, ever, on pain of death?”
Eddie blinks. “Y’know you’re still mentioning it even if you don’t call it what it is, right?”
“Eddie,” Steve says seriously, which causes Eddie to focus. “I need your help. I’m kinda freaking out, here.”
“Okay,” Eddie says, running through things in his mind. “Want me to come over? Or wanna come over here? Or just over the phone?”
“I’m stressed out enough I can’t make any decisions right now,” Steve says.
“Okay,” Eddie says, “then I’m coming over. Unlock the door for me, ‘kay? I’ll be there in ten.”
“M’kay. Thank you.” With a click he’s gone, and Eddie hangs his phone back up too, looking around for his keys.
He snatches them off the counter, jams his feet into his shoes, and takes off.
He realizes halfway there that he’s still in his pajamas.
He walks in when he arrives to find Steve sitting at the table, staring at an envelope like he’s trying to disintegrate it with just his vision. Eddie thinks he can almost see the paper smoking. “Hey,” he says softly. “What’s going on?”
Steve doesn’t meet his eyes, just keeps his gaze locked on the envelope. “I did something impulsive. And Robin doesn’t know. And either nothing changes, or everything does.” He lifts his face to Eddie’s. His bottom lip is bitten raw.
“Okay,” Eddie says. “Well, first things first is to figure out which of those options it is, right? I’m assuming the letter will determine which it is.”
“Yeah,” Steve says, reaching for it, only to push it towards Eddie. “I, uh. I applied to a specific school. And I know the kids are going to tease me about it-”
“Hey,” Eddie interrupts, brows furrowed. “You’re plenty smart, Stevie, don’t listen to the little shitheads, alright? Whatever the answer is, whatever you decide to do, I’m with you. One hundred percent. I’ll even punish the little twerps during our next session if they say anything, okay?”
“Can you open it?” Steve begs, whispering, eyes wide.
Eddie’s hopeless to refuse. “Of course I can,” he replies, just as softly.
He looks at the envelope. Good, thick paper. Sticker return address. He opens it and pulls out a letter.
Dear Steven J. Harrington,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been chosen for 1988’s starting class! In Tricoci University, we pride ourselves on…
Eddie looks up at Steve with a grin. “You’re in.”
“Holy shit,” Steve breathes. “Holy shit!” He begins to grin. “I made it!”
“You made it!” Eddie celebrates, then keeps reading.
We hope you look forward to your time here at Tricoci University of Beauty Culture Bloomington.
Eddie looks up at Steve again. “A beauty school?”
Steve flushes scarlet. “Cosmetology. I wanna do hair.”
Eddie sits for a minute, thinking, before he grins at Steve and stands to sweep him into a spinning hug. “That sounds perfect for you!”
Steve giggles giddily, then grins happily at Eddie when he’s set down. “You really think so?”
“Think so? I know so! Stevie! This is gonna be so good for you!” He drags Steve over to the couch so they can both sit. “I mean, think about it. And I don’t just mean the obvious high school shit. Even the little things. You’re good with people, dude. They just like you just ‘cause you’re you. And who knows more about you than anyone else?”
Steve frowns. “Robin?”
Eddie chuckles. “My mistake. General you, not specific. Your hairdresser! You tell them everything. And you live for that shit, Stevie, I see how your eyes light up when the kids share gossip.” He grabs Steve’s hands and smiles warmly at him. “I promise, everyone’s gonna be so happy for you.”
“Thanks, Eds,” Steve murmurs, cheeks still pink.
“And hey,” Eddie says, grinning again. “You’ve got at least one lifelong customer.” He points to himself, grinning when Steve laughs.
“Thanks,” he says, then takes a deep breath, suddenly serious again. Eddie schools his face accordingly. “Will you help me tell Robin?”
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"But Lucius is physically disabled and he survived, so it's fine to kill Izzy -"
As most of you know, I am physically disabled. Have to use a lot of very visible mobility aids, get stared at in the street, have kids asking uncomfortable questions, etc.
If you are also physically disabled and cannot see that there is a WORLD of difference between Lucius losing his finger and Izzy having a hugely traumatic, majorly life-changing disability thrust upon him, becoming suicidal, using alcohol to cope, crawling along the floor, hating himself and feeling useless and worthless, thinking he's a burden to the people he cared about because of his physical inability to protect them...
Then getting built up again by that same crew, given a beautiful prosthetic that they made for him, accepted and loved, and learning to accept and love himself specifically as a queer disabled man....
THEN SAYING EXPLICITLY THAT HE WANTS TO DIE, AFTER ALL OF THAT BEAUTIFUL GROWTH
If you cannot see how that might be JUST A LITTLE upsetting to other disabled cripplepunk folks....
I honestly do not know what to say to you.
His arc was about self-acceptance and self-love as a disabled queer man. To have him declare that he wanted to die after coming to terms with his disability and queerness is, in fact, going to upset a lot of disabled queer people.
If you are not physically disabled, feel free to reblog but don't say a word unless it's in support.
[Edited to remove the parts about Ed being canonically disabled, as someone kindly pointed out to me that they were incorrect. I hadn't realised that his knee brace was just fanon! The creators shouldn't get credit for creating a 'disabled' main character if the disability is only really acknowledged by fans.]
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Little snippet of the next chapter of BOL for you 🌈
//
Morning comes slowly.
It’s a soft crawl of sunlight up off-white washed walls. It’s a gentle breeze that stirs Clarke’s hair, has her wrinkling her nose at the tickle of a curl on her skin before she ever opens her eyes; has her blowing it away from her face because however she’s laying, it’s far too comfortable to actually move.
It’s the stutter of her heart as she realizes why she’s so comfortable.
She’s tangled up in Lexa, who is wrapped around her and still sleeping deeply if the steady breaths are anything to go by. They’re so close that the tops of Lexa’s thighs are pressed against the back of Clarke’s, their knees lined up. Her legs are longer, so it has Clarke’s legs folded up higher to compensate; meanwhile, she’s nestled in Lexa’s arms, one hand clutching Lexa’s forearm her head rests against and the other still loosely entwined with Lexa’s hand. Lexa’s face must be buried in Clarke’s hair, because she can feel the warm puffs of her breath against her neck.
It’s like lightning, the strange mix of panic and delight that tears through Clarke. Maybe she shouldn’t be doing this. Maybe she should pull away, put some space between them.
The idea just makes her clutch Lexa’s hand more tightly. Clarke’s heart jumps again, this time in panic and guilt, when it causes Lexa to stir.
It’s as slow and gradual as it was for Clarke. Lexa’s breath hitches as she finally wakes and registers the position they’re in. Clarke squeezes her eyes more tightly shut and waits for it, waits for Lexa to untangle herself and pull away and for this to be an awkward blip in the trip. Clarke even releases Lexa’s hand, reaching up to casually rub her face and push her hair out of her eyes. She waits for it.
But it doesn’t happen.
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eating König x high school sweetheart up like a buffet tbh [Gordon Ramsey voice] finally some good fucking food 🤌🔥
What if König and Sweetheart had an oops baby? Sweetheart is estatic because it’s the best of both of them and König would be the best dad! You’ve overcome your pasts to build a sweet little future together!!
He agrees that he would be the best dad (to anyone else’s baby, not hers 😤) but is panicking because his plans to leave her in the dust have been effectively put on hold for 18 years. She didn’t baby trap him, he obvs baby-trapped her!! He’s goes into Turbo Cope Mode and convinces himself that no one will want her as a single mom, and that no one is more qualified to raise HIS baby than HIM. He’ll play happy family for now (⬅️ will play happy family forever).
I just imagine him breeding her like crazy ("out of revenge") until there's 5 carbon copies of him and her running around and calling him 'daddy' and her, 'mommy' :) It stopped being an "oops" at the third one but he simply can't stop himself!
He wasn't sure what his plan was but it def wasn't this: her being like a ray of sun when he comes back home, kids running around everywhere and practically climbing him like koalas, asking if he has anything for them, the oldest even snatches his knife out of it's sheath when he's preoccupied with grabbing this crawling little thing on the floor before it bonks its head.
"The babysitter cancelled at the last minute," she breaths a smile and a kiss on his lips while the 3 months old baby König is staring at them wide-mouthed. "Perhaps it's a good thing, otherwise you'd have too much time in your hands to knock me up again..."
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