IM DONE AHAHAHA
I OPENED TIKTOK TO SEE WHAT ID MISSED ON ED SHIT, AND THE FIRST SUGGESTED SEARCHES WERE "ED AESTHETIC," "ED FOR BEGINNERS," AND "ED WEIGHTLOSS HACKS"
41 notes
·
View notes
The Misery Part 4
One Kit Kat. Another Kit Kat. Another Kit Kat. Eight Kit Kats, French fries. Just the one packet. Another packet. Four packets. A spoonful of pate, a spoonful of chocolate spread. Toast. Butter. Wine. A Bottle.
I lost a stone when I thought I would be seen. I couldn’t eat. I needed to have a flat stomach. It was so easy. The thought of how it would feel, to be thin when I needed to be. For you.
What’s the point now. I need the comfort. I'm so on edge. I can’t sit still. There’s nothing to do. I need to do something. Feel the taste and the satisfaction of a desire. The satisfaction is a torture. I know I will hate myself. I need to hate myself. My mind is sick and I feel sick. I'm so unhappy. The food doesn’t help. It makes it worse. But I can’t stop.
It’s my sickness.
3 notes
·
View notes
There are pro 4n4 Instagram groups?
3 notes
·
View notes
does it ever feel like you’re only waiting for your overthinking of your body image (to those which it applies) to become inevitably and permanently more severe and for that obsession to last for probably a lifetime as just a female which seeks to be conventionally in online with standards societally at least in this very basic sense of consideration of merely the physical stature (Oh look at me saying this i have no idea what future adult me’s gonna have to grapple with 😈) and at the same time i fear that i may be very well “wasting my youth” being perceived and remembered as an overweight physically sluggish obese girl in her late teens still looking stupidly premature as a result when i could have just been physically hot desirable and pretty and cute? if only …. if only my dreams weren’t so superficial and incapable of being extrapolated sustainably… whatever that means…
“it is what it is.”
0 notes
bad day. idk if its getting better. it has been a week.
0 notes
Ok as always I binged but I still only ate 590kcal today. Limit was 300kcal tho
3 notes
·
View notes
Latest for the New York Times, I photographed Lena Tolly & Robyn Baldwin who are undergoing a new treatment to help people with eating disorder that uses deep brain stimulation.
A small study demonstrated that deep brain stimulation, used for people with Parkinson’s disease, can limit an urge to overeat. It involves placing electrodes in the brain to regulate aberrant signals. The wires, connected to the electrodes, are placed under the scalp, where they are invisible and unobtrusive. For the binge eating treatment, the device only stimulates neurons when the device detects a signal to start a binge.
The researchers recorded electrical impulses in the women’s nucleus accumbens as they ate, determining that neurons were firing just before the binge and that those electrical impulses were correlated with the women feeling a loss of control. A direct brain stimulator might have been able to intercept the signals and prevent the women from wanting to binge.
After connecting the devices into the women’s brains, the investigators told Ms. Baldwin and Ms. Tolly that they would activate the devices at some time during the next couple of months, but would not tell them when. Both women said they knew immediately when the devices were activated. Suddenly, they no longer felt insatiable eating urges.
The pilot study, funded by the National Institutes of Health and published earlier this year in the journal Nature Medicine, will be expanded in a few months to include four more people living with binge eating disorder who regained the weight they lost after bariatric surgery. Before the treatment can be approved by the Food and Drug Administration, researchers will need to rigorously test the method in at least 100 people in multiple medical centers. Such a study would take several years to complete.
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/08/health/binge-eating-brain-implant.html?action=click&module=Well&pgtype=Homepage§ion=Health
0 notes
NOVEMBER IS GOING TO BE MY MONTH FR.
i’m so sick and tired of binging and gaining and losing the same kilos over and over again, so i’m deciding that November is gonna be my month, i will get back on track i will lose all the disgusting fat and i’ll try to be more active here
Wish me luck
1K notes
·
View notes