Having BPD is wishing the people who hurt you miss you like you miss them.
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How to get out of a bpd episode no glue no borax
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I hope one day i am brave enough to just end my life because I can’t take this anymore, I’m so fucking sick of being a fuck up no matter how hard I try it’s never fucking enough.
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Why is it so easy for you to tear me down, watch me crumple on the floor, then walk away like I'm not a sobbing heap on the ground
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why can't i act normally about things. i hate my emotions i hate my thoughts i hate everything about myself. make it stop please. i can't live my life with this. i don't want to be stuck like this anymore. why can't it just be a phase?
i just upset everyone around me. i know it. they're done listening to me complain. i scare them and i need to stop talking about the things going on in my head. they aren't something others should have to hear.
i don't deserve comfort or love or care or kindness or friends or anything. they should all hate me and want to leave me forever. they deserve someone better than me. all i do is ruin things.
i want to bash my head in. i want to drown. i want them to beat me to a pulp. i want to be physically hurt because at this point it sounds better than having to feel my emotions.
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I think it's my bpd but i don't feel any affection to my boyfriend?
I call him my boyfriend I WANTED to date him but now that I'm here now that I'm actually dating him I feel so disgusted.
With the situation? With myself. With everything I feel so putrid this disgusting feels that fills up my entire body right now is the worst.
I can't imagine being held, kissed, cared for. And I don't want to because every ounce of myself feels so painfully WRONG this is all wrong I feel nothing but pain.
But I loved him up until the very moment he asked to go out with me but as soon as he asked it felt like it all cane crashing down.
Did I ever love him? I don't know whats wrong with me why am I so broken. I'm so scared I feel completely out of myself.
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sometimes i feel like my whole identity is built on my bpd and i have nothing else
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