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#broken writers club
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Salvation
Descending and rising from one purgatory to the next, I can only but wonder what crime has incurred such cosmic retribution. What deity has taken offense to some transgression of the past? Is repentance insufficient to release me from this celestial burden? I rebuke this curse to travel from torment to torment, and instead claim what is rightfully mine.
Peace.
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louudthoughts · 20 days
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my brother saw a commercial for anti-depressants,
said he found the solution
"just don't get depressed,"
but it's not that easy. it's more than being sad, it's not being happy. it's people asking if you're sick. it's lying in bed all day because your thoughts are too heavy to carry. it's painful.
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arcanehere · 2 years
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Maybe i loved him
Somewhere between the lines
Because i paid the price
Of pain for endless nights .
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idjitwriting · 5 months
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Villain
I see him in my head But the girl I was is already dead He revelled in my pain But what was there for him to gain? If my pain was the game Then he won first prize He took my innocence He told me lies He broke my trust Crumbled my heart to dust
A hidden villain He broke me down Forced me on my knees And put on a crown
He is far away But I´ll never rest I´ll always beware But it´s probably for the best ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
AN: I feel uncertain about sharing it, but many people have gone through something similar and it´s important to not forget that. Please stay safe out there
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sleekswosobession · 2 months
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recovery takes time
part 2 of ‘you are broken on the floor’
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alexia putellas x keeper!reader
request: here
A/N: reminder that i’m a writer and not a med student so idk what times are like for this..
also since y’all wanted me to ask more questions.. if you’ve experienced anything paranormal lmk because i’m interested in that stuff and experienced stuff myself so 🤷
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The first few weeks of recovery are the worst, you can’t do anything at all. Even walking is a challenge, how would you ever go back to where you were?
Alexia was always by your side though, helping wherever she could considering you weren’t allowed to lift anything. The concussion went away as expected and now was just a long journey of recovery ahead.
“You and I both know you’ll be back out on the soon, give yourself time. Recovery isn’t a quick process, remember what you told me when I did my ACL.” She’d say things similar to that, and for a while you’d believe her until you saw what the media kept saying.
As much as it affected your mental health, it only made you want to come back stronger and be better, to prove the critics wrong. To show the world who you were and that you were staying.
- - - - -
After 10 weeks, you could do regular tasks again. It did tire you out but it gave you strength and the feeling you had control over something. It’s something you so desperately needed, outside of Alexia of course.
You started to head back to the training grounds for meetings with physios and trainers who were doing their best to assess where to start when lifting weights and doing other flexible motions with your arms and chest that isn’t too harsh.
While it still isn’t much, it’s still something. That’s all that matters.
- - - - -
When you were first cleared to lift 5kg, Alexia was there. She always was when you had more progress in getting closer to the pitch. She was your number 1 supporter and it really encouraged you to be better.
When you could fully stretch your arms without pain or feeling uncomfortable, she was there.
When you could go back to lifting regular weights in gym sessions, she’d watch you while feeling immense pride at how far you’d come.
When you were kicked balls to for the first time again, she watched and congratulated every ball you saved.
She’s your knight in shining armour.
- - - - -
The day of your first game, a year of recovery behind you. You were finally starting for your club again. You stand tall behind your girlfriend who sports the armband.
Ever since it was announced you were in training and back in the squad, the media had been relentless. Asking too many questions. Wondering too many things.
You had one job tonight, and that was to show the world who you were. Who you are. Who you will be.
You walk out, fans yelling and cheering as the Barça anthem plays in the background. You missed this so bad.
- - - - -
The game was tough, some shots on you but you managed to keep a clean sheet. Alexia smiling and crowd roaring at you as you did so.
When the final whistle blows, Ale runs to you first pulling you into a crushing hug.
“Mi amor, you did so well.” She wraps her arms around your waist and kisses your neck.
“Thanks Ale, couldn’t have done it without you.” You reply, hands brushing up and down her back.
No matter what happened in life, you’d always want to do it with Alexia. Only Alexia.
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i’m gonna close my requests for the time being so i can get through my 7 other works 🙏
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hunnylagoon · 3 months
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Take Me to War
PT1 Friendly Fire
Streamer! Ellie Williams x reader
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A writer, I think is someone who pays attention to the world. We are observers, it is in our nature to be off-putting and turn shallow things deep.
Premise: Your neighbour is becoming increasingly loud and you decide to do something about it.
PT 2 Here!
Two things I hate the most?
My neighbour and New York City.
They shared something in common, they never rest. I liked my quiet life in my small town until I was convinced that all of the greatest writers lived in the city, what a joke. I sold my virtue to move to New York and now my body burned with the shame of not belonging.
I worked as a journalist and in advertisement but it didn't fill the gaping mass that consumed me, I felt like a sellout so I quit to do freelance, and now I feel like even more of a sellout. Freelance is making me think that I hate ghostwriting more than I hate my neighbour and New York City.
It's like you do all of the work and get zero reward but I'm desperate to pay the bills and all that stuff I've been telling myself all my life 'I may never be a rich man but the rich man will never have me' well, the rich man most certainly had me. I was paid an almost criminal amount of money to pour my soul into art just for it to get stamped beneath a new name and make a gross income six times the size of what I sold it for.
I look for happiness everywhere but I do not find it. I search for it in things everyone seems to pry joy from; I go clubbing, walk in Central Park, and date around, but happiness doesn't seem to exist there for me.
I plead for it in my morning cups of tea with a spoonful of honey, the sunshine glittering in a puddle after a rainstorm, for a brief moment, it flickers in the light of my cinnamon-scented candle. The truth is I am almost comforted by my sadness and it is in my lowest moments that my creations are the most beautiful, it is like I am dead and I despise those who aren't for I enjoy the company of my silence more than anyone I have ever met.
It was my dream for my name to be above 'New York Times Best Selling Author' but instead, it is just my work beneath it and maybe that's why I'm so bitter.
Right now as I am trying to salvage the bits and pieces I was given by a washed-up pop star for her memoir my neighbour is screaming and laughing incoherently in their apartment, it makes me miss living in an actual house.
The noise usually started up when I would finish up my writing and get ready for bed, then it would go all the way through the night. The dumb fucker probably threw parties every single night; my roommate never faced an issue with this as she worked at a club and was usually working when the deafening noises would begin.
I on the other hand who lived in that apartment and worked from that apartment was always cursed to listen to the random thumps and spats of laughter that sounded all through the night. At least once a night when I'm sound asleep, I hear a bang against the wall and each time without fail, I'm brought awake with my heart thumping.
Trust me, I have retaliated.
On occasion when I'm sleep-deprived and at my absolute limit I'll bang on the walls, that only stops the noise for a minute. I've even complained to my landlord and that one week was heaven until it eased back to the clamour that I've almost grown used to.
Almost.
I still hate it.
I'm broken from my thoughts when my phone rings, it vibrates till it's almost at the edge of my desk and I feel for it; don't worry buddy, I wanna jump too. I read the caller ID and I almost wanted to gag, it was a woman from the publishing company who reached out to me and asked me to write Nicole Elliot's novel. Despite wanting to throw my phone against the wall to stop Noemi's constant checkups and get back at my neighbour while I'm at it, I answer the phone "Hey, Noemi!" I glance out the window where the winter sun has long set, leaving nothing but billboards, street lamps and neon signs to light up the New York night. Under the unforgiving lights I can barely make out the gentle snowfall.
"Hey," She draws it out and I can hear in her voice that she is smiling "I know it's a little late, just checking in, how is the draft coming along?" A loud thump sounds against my wall along with intolerant cackling "What's that?"
"Just some street noise," I dismiss "Anyways, the draft is coming along great, I'm a couple thousand words away from finishing it. I will of course send it to you and I would really love it if you could reach out to Nicole and ask for her opinion on it before I carry on with the final copy," I give a middle finger to my wall, even if my neighbour can't see me, it makes me feel a little bit more formidable "I did follow her outline, which was difficult but I think I salvaged it pretty well."
This time there is a yelp from my neighbour and what sounds like someone slamming their hands down onto a table, Noemi thankfully ignores it "You haven't been in touch with Nicole?"
My eyebrows furrow "She hasn't responded to any of my emails and she's been turning down all of our scheduled Zoom calls, so no, I have not been in touch with her."
"Weird," Noemi comments and there is a brief break of silence between us "She's been M.I.A on our end too," I could hear her scribble something down. "So can you get the draft to me by Friday?"
Two days? If I lock myself inside and don't see the sun then I totally can "Absolutely!" I do work better under a deadline.
"Great," She sounds almost relieved "We will hunt down Nicole, it would be nice to get her greenlight with this but whether or not she approves it, she has already signed off and it will be going to print."
"Okay," I fight the urge to respond with 'sick' or 'aight' because I'm an adult now and someone who is masquerading as a professional.
"Sorry, what was that you mentioned about an outline?" Noemi asks, she sounds more confused with each word "I wasn't aware Nicole made any-
She is swiftly cut off by a crash from the other side of my wall, when I say crash I mean it. It sounded like someone just bodied their car into drywall. My eyes went wide as I saw a crack splitting up my once pristine white wall. I hold my phone against my collarbone as I get up and pound my fist against the wall, giving it a kick for extra measure.
"Is everything alright?"
"Certainly," The nice thing about phone calls is that the person on the other end can't see your awkward habits or subtle outbursts (Or neighbours breaking through your shared wall). After I hit the wall, everything went silent for just a second before laughter sounded heavily from multiple people. "Noemi, thank you for sourcing me out to write this, I am really grateful for this opportunity I will send you that draft on Friday." I try to wrap up the call but she speaks up.
"Well, I've read your work and I was very impressed, I trust you will do well with this. Sorry to have called you so late-
"Thanks, have a nice night now!" I'm talking faster than I can even think, the only thing in my head is the fact that my neighbour is slowly deteriorating my wall.
"Wait-
Before Noemi can finish her sentence, I've hung up the phone. I'm leaning back in my cushy office chair, hands gripping my hair as I stare down the newly formed crack in the wall. I don't entirely like to be confrontational, even in school I hated drama, but I was beginning to think it was necessary.
I saved the progress I had made on the memoir and pushed myself up from my desk. I was clad in nothing more than a t-shirt and some plaid pants, it was my writing attire and in the moment I didn't care much to make a good first impression. It was fucking freezing the second I got up from my desk.
The moulding on my bedroom window was broken which allowed the frigid New York air to slip into my room and make me shiver with each breath. At my desk, I would usually have a throw blanket to shroud my freezing body but the moment I discarded it, I felt regret. I almost wanted to wrap myself in it to confront my neighbour but the pyjamas alone didn't help me look tough.
I did however shove my feet into some cow slippers and march right up to their apartment.
Apartment 2D stood in front of me, the pastel blue door making me angrier with every second that I looked at it. I rapped my knuckles on the wood and crossed my arms to stop me from shuddering.
My nerves built up as I slowly heard a door within the apartment shut followed by footsteps leading to the door. I would just ask them politely to quiet down and calmly work on a way to fix the shared wall that they are slowly ruining.
The door opens and staring me down is a woman. I had expected it to be a man to be truthful. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, the colour teetered on the verge of auburn and brown. The woman is clad in a black tank top and grey sweatpants, it's almost parallel to my outfit.
"You need to be quiet," I say the first words that come to mind "And stop assaulting my fucking wall."
She sucks a sharp breath through her teeth "Are you apartment 3D?" She asks to which I nod "I knew you would be stopping by soon." She has this sheepish and almost sardonic smile on her face and despite the amusement she's portraying I can see sadness brewing in her green eyes like a storm.
"I don't know what you're doing in there where you are up all night, I don't even have a clue how you sleep and work with all this time to spare to be a nuisance." I say and then swiftly feel the urge to backtrack "I'm sorry, that was a little rude, but mate, I can't sleep or work when you're being loud doing whatever you do."
"Fuck," She mutters looking back into her apartment and then at me "I'm sorry, I'll keep it down."
"What about the wall?"
Her eyes look me up and down, settling on my cow slippers "I'll find someone to fix the wall."
I press my lips tight together, looking dead into her eyes, scraping my brain for something else to say. It was almost like I wanted to fight. I had expected this to be a full-out conversation that ended in yelling but god she was pretty and she was telling me just what I wanted. "Okay."
"Okay?"
I regard her once more with what I assume is a cold glare before ushering back into my apartment and slamming the door behind me, the whole time, my neighbour watches me from her doorway.
That was the first night of uninterrupted sleep I'd had in a month.
-
I woke up earlier than I would've liked when my roommate Margot came home from work at 4:56 on the dot. She made sure to slam every single door and cupboard before throwing herself onto her bed in all of her makeup and musty clothes that had to endure whatever happens at a nightclub between the hours of 8 pm and 4 am, which I can't imagine is very clean.
Still, even though I was a little ahead of schedule I fell into my morning routine. It started with ignoring my phone, this was followed by a mug of Bengal spice tea with a teaspoon of honey and a splash of cream.
Sometimes I would curl up on the couch, though it snowed last night and I loved fresh snow. Freshly fallen snow absorbed sound, it was like soundproofing for the earth. There wasn't anything like the rare peace you could find in New York. I figured I would have my morning tea on the fire escape.
My peaceful image was destroyed the second I pried my window open and crawled through I was hit with the intense smell of pot. "Shit," I mutter, instinctively wafting the scent away from my nose.
"Sorry, man," I see my neighbour leaning against the railing of the fire escape, nursing a joint. It hadn't crossed my mind that I shared a level of the fire escape with her, I had never seen her out here but now the smell of weed that drifted through the damaged moulding on my window made sense, I had always assumed it to be Margot.
"Joint for breakfast?" I ask, half-joking. A dusting of powdery snow adorns each step and railing, creating a delicate layer of white that contrasts with the industrial gray of the metal though it looks like my neighbour has pushed all of the snow off the platform.
"Nah, for dinner I guess, it helps me sleep," She's in the same outfit from last night, except her hair is now loose around her face and she threw a hoodie over her tanktop.
I furrow my eyebrows "You've been up all night?" The slight tension from the previous night has dissolved completely.
"Yeah," She says it like it was a stupid question and it partially was but I hadn't stayed up that late since New Year only because I was the designated driver and was in charge of getting everyone home safe. "I don't sleep much, that's probably why I keep you up all night."
I mean, I'd let her keep me up in other ways "Honestly, I've gotten used to it, it's almost like white noise." I try to sympathize even if it isn’t necessarily true.
"Next time I'm loud, you have every right to bang on my door and chew me out." She takes a drag from her joint and I watch as the smoke escapes her lips, her cheeks tinted pink from the cold.
"Good to know," I glance behind her at the open window and all I see are purple LED lights cutting through the darkness of her apartment. "Now I know that we share a fire escape I'll just crawl through your window and yell at you that way," I joke, taking a sip from my snoopy mug.
This makes her laugh in the slightest, she crushes what remains of her joint on the cold railing and tosses the bud into the pot of a dead plant that's covered in snow and has lived on this fire escape long before I moved in; one time I just about removed it but I felt bad, it's like I was evicting it from its rightful home "Feel free."
"Am I allowed to ask why you're up all night breaking the sound barriers?" I ask, pulling my fuzzy robe tighter around my body to fight the bitter air. "Are you the leader of a cult? Would it be better for the world in the long run if I push you right now?"
The corners of her lips curl up into a smile once again "You've figured me out, just know I've got some big plans with Koolaid," She plays into my teasing.
"It was flavour-aid, actually." I don't know why I said that.
"What the fuck is flavour-aid?"
"Koolaid basically," Silence stretches between us "So what do you actually do all night?"
"It's a bit complicated," She says, of course, it was complicated. "I work from home," She couldn't do something normal, she probably did voice acting or ran a podcast or some weird shit like that.
"Sick," Don't worry, I made myself cringe when I said that too "I work from home too."
"Yeah, you said something about work last night, are you in marketing?"
I shake my head "I'm a writer," every time I tell someone that, I feel a twinge of embarrassment. I know it wasn't a noble career like my parents had hounded me over, but it felt noble to me. I had two absent parents and was raised by a pack of wolves, I would devour as much food as fast as I could because I didn't know when I would be eating next. I was far too emotional to be around all of the narcissists who preferred their own faces to my company, the only friend I had was the written word.
Since then I have been serving my soul up to strangers through word documents.
The thought makes me homesick for the arms that did not hold me and I truly expect my neighbour to make a mockery of me, the way others have. The way they've told me 'It's a tough industry but hang in there!' and pat me on the back like I'm a hopeful child clinging to her mother's skirts.
"That's really cool," She smiles while she gazes out to the skyline, I can see her perfect side profile and ski-slope nose "I wanted to be a writer, I thought myself to be a poet, and then I thought myself to be a scientist and wanted to be an astronaut. Now, I'm here."
"Where's here exactly?"
"Working things out, figure it out as I go," She shrugs like she is unsure of her answer.
I think it's beautiful how everything around me has been touched by human hands and carries so much history. For a quick moment, my mind wonders to those who built this building, the calloused hands that crafted the iron railing and now my neighbour who was leaning against it. "What's the end goal with this whole freefall thing?"
"To make it out alive."
"And your name?"
"It's Ellie."
-
That night Ellie stuck to being quiet as she promised. The next night was a different story. I was so close to finishing the draft of Nicole Elliot's memoir and was praying that the deadline would pass with no issue.
However, the noise began again. I was coming around to like Ellie and I didn't want to go yell at her again so I shoved my headphones in and turned up my playlist as loud as I could. There is no song I can blast in my headphones to drown it out.
She did say that the next time I was loud I could come and chew her out, I wouldn't do that; I would just knock on her door and quickly tell her that she was being too loud, and then we would both carry on with our respective work.
I stopped in front of the smooth door and raised my hand to knock. Ellie slips the door open just a crack, when she sees that it's me she opens the door. "Hey, Ellie."
"Hello," She smiles "To what do I owe the pleasure?" She had a very nice smile.
We both know the circumstances of my visit but I spell it out anyway "Dude, you're way too loud, it's disruptive and I'm working under a deadline."
"I know, I'm sorry." She looks genuinely apologetic.
"I don't know any office job that needs you to scream for hours on end," Alright, that blows what could've been a simple visit where she apologizes and I leave, I always had to add on.
"Right, sorry," She carries herself with so much confidence that it is like she is wearing armour made of gold though she has these subtle awkward tendencies of someone who has never been loved and was forced to improvise. "It's hard to explain,"
"Yeah, you've said-
"Do you wanna come and see?"
I'm taken a little aback and for a minute I think this is all a ploy for Ellie to lock me in her her apartment and kill me because she is sick of her neighbour banging on her door "What?"
"Well, you've asked a couple of times and if you have a minute I can show you."
I pause, mauling over her proposal. I think of my laptop on my spruce desk, open to the final pages of the memoir and I make up my mind "Alright, just not too long."
"If you say so," Ellie opens the door wider for me to move past her and then shuts it behind us.
Ellie's apartment is what I had expected from her even though it is surprisingly nice. She has a large L-shaped sofa in the living room adorned with throw blankets and pillows and a huge flatscreen with a coffee table in front of it. The layout is exactly like mine but inverted, her open kitchen has some odd knick-knacks that looked like they belonged on an Amazon must-haves list.
I don't go into her bathroom and the door leading to one of the rooms (What is equivalent to Margot's bedroom) is shut. The apartment itself is pretty sparse aside from little bits and pieces as she only moved in a month prior.
On the left side, I see that purple LED spilling out of what I assume to be her bedroom.
She walks in ahead of me and the second I follow in after her there is one question I have to ask "Ellie, are you a porn-star?" There are entirely too many computers in here. Her desk is set up with one of those fancy triple-screen PCs and she has a laptop placed seemingly randomly on a white loveseat that's pressed against the right wall.
There is one of those galaxy lamps that projects that trippy shit onto your walls and ceiling. The screen of her PC is facing our shared wall and I can see a huge hole where I assume that a loud crash from the other night occurred. Plastered all over the walls are posters from video games and movies, many of which I hadn't seen.
"What?" She sounds nearly offended "No," she grabs a folding chair from the corner of the room and unfolds it beside her black florid office chair. She sits on the folding chair and motions for me to sit in the office chair. "Come, sit."
I hesitantly sit in the chair "Are you going to attack me now?" I ask, getting defensive for no particular reason other than it was in my nature "Because I've read The Outsiders and I'm pretty sure I can fight."
She chuckles "I'm not gonna fight you."
"Because I'd win?"
She furrows her eyebrows but has this look of amusement on her face "Yeah, definitely."
"So what is this?" I motion around at all of her equipment.
Ellie puts one earbud in then hand me the other "Chat," She says, looking dead at the camera clipped onto her PC "This is my neighbour who came to yell at me for being annoying, she has every right."
"Who are you talking to?"
"I'm streaming," She said, clicking something on the screen so it changed, instead showing Ellie and I in front of the camera, I looked absolutely lost next to a rolling chat bar full of jokes that I didn't understand and people saying hello to me.
"So I was right," I turn my attention to Ellie "You are an internet person."
"Yeah, I'm an internet person but you weren't right, I don't do porn."
"Not yet," I shrug "Times are desperate," To this, the chats come in even faster than before. "So do you just sit here all night and scream at people?"
"I play video games and do challenges, sometimes I do just sit here and scream at them."
"That makes so much sense," I say "If there's any job that needs you to be obnoxiously loud and annoying, it's a youtube personality."
"Okay, well-
"So you're like Logan Paul?"
Her eyes go wide "No-
"What explains why your eyes are so bloodshot."
"You are a writer," She says it like it's a fact I wasn't aware of "You are in no place to judge, you probably spend as much time in front of a screen as me."
I nod "I hate to say you're right," My attention shifts to the hole behind me "Can you explain how playing video games put a hole through the wall?"
Ellie looks almost embarrassed, she doesn't say anything in response, instead, she just clicks something to screen share with us in a little box in the corner and then goes into YouTube. She types in 'Ellie Williams falls through wall' My eyebrows furrow as I read it, and she clicks the first video that pops up.
The video starts off strong; Ellie is cackling at something that her friend off-camera is saying, her friend then makes a comment that makes her laugh even harder and she throws herself back in her chair. This act breaks it, you can hear the chair snap beneath the pressure and Ellie just lets it happen as the chair crashes against the wall. Her eyes go wide when she realizes she's just put a massive hole into the wall and seconds later you can hear me on the other side banging my hands on the wall. Her eyes go wide and she stares at her friend off-camera, all of the laughter stops abruptly before her friend can't hold it in anymore and erupts in chortles, and the video cuts off.
My hand flies over my mouth to fight back the laughter I so badly want to let out. Ellie and I sit wordlessly, the only sound being donations on the screen and my giggles slipping through. Eventually, I manage to compose myself and look to Ellie, I don't have much to say except for "Oh my god."
A/N: Streamer! Ellie won the poll so here we are. As I was drafting out the other chapters for When I Was Your Girl, I decided that it is most likely to be discontinued unless I do a rewrite which will not be in the near future. I’m not rocking with the plot and there was a lot of mixed feedback, sorry if you were invested I guess, but you have this series to be invested in now!
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ellssbellss · 1 year
Note
I may or may not have been awake for about 48 house, so I wanted to ask a request before I fall asleep.
The hosts when their SO was up for 2 days straight doing work and starts to slip when get to the host club and acting a little bit too much like the Kyoya.
been thinking about this more than my actual story lately, and i have terrible writer's block, so hopefully this will help! {thank you, anon for the idea!}
The Host Club and their Sleepy, Cranky S.O. {Ohshc X Gender Neutral!Reader}
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.oOo.
"mon amour? you need to wake up, darling." tamaki's voice whispers gently in your ear.
the darkness that had surrounded you minutes ago suddenly vanishes as you open your eyes, your head swiftly lifting off of the hard surface that you had rested your eyes upon just a few minutes ago.
it had been just a few minutes, right?
coming out of your tired daze, you feel a warm hand under your chin, and your eyes are turned to meet the concerned, violet gaze of your boyfriend. he is positioned above you, one soft hand resting the club's table in front of you and the other on your face, trailing gently from the point of your chin to the roundness of your cheekbones as his thumb runs gently over the skin there.
"my love, do you know what time it is?" his voice was like butter as dips his head a little deeper, worry creasing his perfect face as he watches you lean into his touch almost automatically.
"mmph..." through his stress about your exhausted state, he giggles slightly as you sigh and shrug, your eyelids dropping more with each second. "i don't know, love."
"it's nine, (y/n)."
"what?" any haze that had chained your brain was broken as you shot out of his gentle hold.
straightening your back, you peer towards the large windows that created a barrier between the club room and the outside world, seeing an endless night erasing any of the natural light you had experienced when you walked in here after class.
"it's nine o'clock?" panicked, the chair screeches across pristine tile as you grab at the things scattered across the table. laptop, charging cords, notebooks and pencils all make their way into your grasp as you hurriedly shove them into your bag. "why didn't you wake me up sooner?"
tamaki had watched the stress bunch up in your shoulders the minute you broke away from his grasp. he watches it wind into your muscles and face as you close up your pack and swing it around one arm, hastily pushing the chair in.
"you look like you needed your rest." he says softly, taken aback by your harsh tone. "i talked to my father to let us stay here a little while longer, since i know you have been working really hard on that project you have, and i thought-"
"exactly!" without raising your voice, he feels the sharp frustration rolling off the tip of your tongue, and it pierces something tender as you whip around to face him. "i have been working so hard not to get behind on my schedule, and now that's all out window. why didn't you wake me up like I asked?"
yellow eyebrows raise as you bite back at him, and he is getting whiplash from the sudden venom in your voice. "i tried, (y/n), but you didn't wake up!" his hands move in an pleading gesture. "you shoved my hand off when i tried to shake you and faced the other way when i kissed your cheek. the end of the world couldn't wake you."
your lips purse as your eyes squint and roll, and you stomp towards the door. stuttering, your golden retriever boyfriend follows behind as you nearly rip the door off it's hinges in your haste.
his words are rushed as he rushes to follow you out of the club room as you make your way down the long, empty staircase. "truly, you're not as behind as you might think, angel, not with all the work you've been doing?"
"you would think, huh?" another frustrated sigh escapes you, but it's more tuned towards yourself than anything. you push through the grand entrance of the school.
tamaki chases you out into the moonlight. his tall form stops in the doorframe though, when he sees the way the pale light drapes over your figure.
your usual bright stance sags in the night, and the hand he loves to hold rakes harshly through your perfect locks before it disappears to run down your face.
"(y/n), mon amour, what's wrong?" you hear his dress shoes click against the pavement. long arms wrap around your waist from behind, and a soft cheek nuzzles against the side of your face. tamaki tightens his hold, encouraging you to melt into his form. "talk to me."
after nothing more than a second, you do, because how could you not?
your head falls back as your spine molds into the bends and divots of tamaki's long torso, and a deep, shuddering sigh ripples out of you.
"i'm sorry, my love." tamaki feels your apology vibrate against his chest. "i just-, i've been extra stressed lately."
"about your project?"
"yes."
"why, angel?"
your neck twists, and you meet your prince's gaze in the complexity of his embrace, and tamaki sees the deep circles under your eyes. he notes how they had darkened since the last time he noticed them.
"i just have a lot riding on my grade for this course. my mother is counting on me for the future of her company, and if this project doesn't go well, then..."
"stop it." the comforting hug he had wrapped you in briefly vanishes as his touch pulls against your uniform. his fingers travel up your waist and forearms, gently grasping your shoulders as he spins you around to face him. "stop thinking like that."
when you're looking at him, his hands run up the rest of your body to your face, holding your jawline in his touch. "you've been working and worrying for two days, mon amour. you haven't been taking care of yourself, and there is nothing more important than your wellbeing."
his tone is different from his gallivanting, and incredibly endearing, dramatics. it's gracefully intense, like when he helped a struggling doctor find his way to his estranged daughter. the way he looks at you is also fierce, love and determination swimming in his purple irises.
"tamaki..."
"why haven't you been taking care of yourself?"
"i haven't had the time!" your voice tries weakly to defend yourself, but tamaki raises another eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "there isn't enough time in the day for me to work as hard as i have been and get a full night's rest."
"then why haven't you come to me about it?"
"i...i don't know." defeated, there is a drop in your gaze as you give up trying to defend yourself. "i thought i could do it on my own."
"you don't have to do anything on your own. not when you're with me." tamaki bends slightly to get into your line of sight. "you know you can talk to me, (y/n); that i'm here to give you anything and everything you need."
your (e/c) eyes whip back up to him. "i know that, love, but i-"
"no buts. you come to me if you need me. that's how it has always been for us."
the moonlight reflects off the small amount of wetness in your eyes, and tamaki's serious expression crumples. all of your stress and exhaustion breathes out of your body at his words. he smiles softly as you bury your face in his chest, placing his hand on your hair and another at your back, kissing the side of your head.
"i need you." your voice sings through the night, into the air as it's carried into the rose garden, red petals fully in bloom.
.oOo.
kyoya has seen this look before.
the tension of your lips as they writhe over your teeth. the slam of your footsteps as you make your way over to your usual seat across from him. especially the small smile you give to whomever greets you.
the smile that doesn't reach your eyes. the smile that falls immediately after you give some random excuse to dismiss yourself from the conversation, and you let it fall because you think no one is looking.
but kyoya was watching.
"good morning, (y/n)." he greets over his laptop as you click open your own, and you meet his gaze briefly before turning your attention back to your computer, giving him the same dismissive smile.
being that he was your boyfriend, that hurt a little.
"good morning, kyo."
he lets his eyes linger on the bored, dull look that you attach to your screen, accompanied by your sluggish movements and purple smudges under your eyes. a dark eyebrow quirks from behind his glasses as your chest rises with a sigh, and your face crinkles despairingly at whatever you are working on.
"what are you doing?"
your lashes flick up to him once more before returning back to your task at hand. "i'm working on the budget."
he blinks a little at your reply. "still?"
the tension from your mouth seeps into your form at his question, and you shift in your seat. "yes, love, thank you so much for pointing that out."
lips parting slightly at the sarcasm in your voice, the club's director raises his fingers off of his keyboard, favoring to clasp them under his chin instead as a more calculating gaze sweeps the figure of his beloved.
he catches an eyebrow twitch, a flare of your nostrils, the way your head bobs slightly before you shake it, as if that could erase the pure exhaustion radiating from you.
yes, kyoya has seen this look before.
in the mirror.
"how much sleep did you get last night, my dear?"
this time, you don't even look at him when you answer. you just shrug at him, too focused on your typing to really concentrate on a reply. "i don't know. maybe an hour or so-."
a sharp flare of concern rises in his chest before you spin your computer on it's base, shoving the screen in his direction with a wary look in your eye. "does this look right to you? i feel like something's missing."
his hands are still at his mouth when he glances at the spreadsheet you two created together, the perfect, color coded numbers arranged into straight columns.
but his brow furrows even more the longer he looks at it. lowering his hands to the device, kyoya pulls it closer to him as he scrolls through, skimming the text for any sign of error or miscalculation.
he finds none.
"(y/n), this is perfect." his pupils dart across the page behind his frames. "i have no idea what you're stressing over."
the laptop is pulled away from him once more as you run a hand through your hair. "no, no." you hit the backspace button on your keyboard, tired eyes squinting over the excel sheet. "something isn't right."
your aggressive typing fills the air once more, a little more frenzied and anxious than a minute before.
kyoya leans back in his chair, still observing. "(y/n), have you been working out this budget since the time i sent it to you?"
"of course."
"that was two days ago."
"i know."
he stands, pushing out his chair, but you don't notice. "have you slept at all?"
"not really. i've been going through the math, the incoming inventory. sure, it looks perfect now, and we are within this month's spending range, but i know there's a way to save more money. if i could just-"
"that," the lid of your computer is suddenly pushed down, closing the screen in front of you. a pale hand with pianist-like fingers attached to it splays across your protective case. "is more than enough, then."
"kyoya!" you sit in front of him, shock emanating from your face as his name is gasped from your lips. "what the hell?"
kyoya leans in front of you, one hand bracing your laptop closed while the other slips into the pocket of his trousers. his raven hair falls into his eyes a little bit, but the gray color is still piercing and raw.
"my dear," he pulls away slightly, adding pressure onto your computer so that it drags to his side of the table. "you need to take a break."
"a break?" you rise as well, trying to keep a cool demeanor. but your director could tell that your patience was thinning. "i'm on the brink of figuring this out, and you want me to take a break?"
"you already have figured it out, (y/n). i looked it over. you found the solution."
"but it could be better."
quickly, kyoya rounds the table, walking into your space to grab one of your hands.
he places both of his palms around one of your own, trying to get through to you through his touch instead of his words, even if the connection was small.
"how much sleep have you had in the past forty-eight hours?"
abandoned by the distraction your work gave you, you now face your boyfriend head on as he studies your movements.
since the moment you met him, kyoya has always watched you intently. as a man who didn't involve himself with anything that he didn't care greatly for, the process of dating him has and will always include him taking the time to observe and study you; to commit your mannerisms to memory. gray irises will forever notice how you bounce your leg underneath your desk when you have something to say but won't say it out right. or how you take your (f/h/d) in the morning, and the exact brand that you use.
or how your face lights up when he comes into view from down the hallway, and you excuse yourself to meet him halfway.
or how you always seem to kiss him with soothing, deep movements, which always encourages him to respond in kind.
but, very rarely is that intent stare coupled with concern.
yet, here it was, bathing his beloved gaze as he waits for your reply, leaving you with an aching heart. you think back to they way you've been acting, cranky and stand-offish, and a pang of regret sparks in your stomach.
your hand adjusts slightly in his as you hold onto his grasp, albeit a little nervously.
"you want the truth?" your beautiful eyes break his gaze as you stubbornly shift in place.
"always."
"not very much. maybe three hours." he swallows as that sharp flare of concern burns into an engulfing flame in his torso. "in total."
A disappointed frown etches onto his handsome features, but it's not angry. it's sad.
sad that he didn't see your exhaustion before, not in it's totality. he saw your frequent yawns and the way you tended to drift off mid-conversation, but he was busy with work as well, and couldn't connect the dots until now.
"(y/n)-"
"i know, i know. it's not the best." you take a deep breath and look at him with more confidence, ready to admit to your actions. "the perfectionist in me kind of let loose. i'm sorry, i just wanted it to be the best that it could be. for the club, ya know? for you."
tugging on your clasped hands, a deep hum resonates from the ootori son as he draws you closer. soon, your hands naturally loop around his neck while he settles his hold at your waist.
his forehead rests on yours as he sighs deeply, and you close your eyes as his low voice reaches your ears. "i think the best thing for me and the club is for you to get some rest."
he smirks a little as he feels you giggle tiredly against him. "yeah, i think you're right."
kyoya chuckles softly as he raises his forehead off of yours to place a kiss in the same spot. "i'm always right, my dear."
.oOo.
"hikaru! stop it!"
arms caged yours as you writhed against his chest. your legs were wild as they kicked up into the air, barely missing your boyfriend as he picked you up from where you had sat on your desk.
"put me down right now! what are you even doing?"
he grunts a little as your swinging legs hit his calves before throwing you down on your bed. unceremoniously, the bed frame creaks with your weight as you land face first into your duvet.
a loud huff escapes you as you turn around from your position, seeing hikaru standing at the foot of your bed with his arms crossed, a victorious smile plastered onto his sharp mouth.
"well, i asked you to take a break from your studying. and you said 'make me.'" his fingers come to either side of his head to create quotation marks. "so i made ya."
"i didn't mean literally, jackass." you grumble as you shift. your palms push your body up off the bed and spin you so that you are seated properly on your comforter. scooting roughly to the edge of your mattress, you barely stand up before your pushed onto the bed again.
"hikaru!"
"nope. not gonna happen."
"i need to study!"
"that's what you've been saying for the past two days!" his rough voice sounds exasperated as he gestures wildly to you. "in the clubroom, in the cafeteria, on our facetime calls. shit, (y/n), i don't think there has been a single second where i haven't seen that textbook open in front of you."
he points to the hefty calculus book open on your desk, three quarters of the pages turned to one side.
"that's what studying is!" you move to get up again with another frustrated sigh. "my test is tomorrow, my love, i can't afford any breaks right now."
this time, instead of simply pushing your back onto the bed, hikaru pins you down. in a flash, golden eyes fill your vision as his fingers clamp around your wrist. when you fall back, his weight takes you down as he flops heavily on your chest.
"you're not going anywhere, baby. not until you tell me what's going on."
"nothing is going on." you huff, blowing a few of his ginger strands out of his face. "now get off me."
"i don't believe you." ever the stubborn twin, hikaru makes a point to wiggle his body on top of yours to amplify the fact that you have no hope of pushing him off. "and i'm not moving until i believe you."
"what?" you bite back.
a more serious tone laces his voice as he scans you. "today, during club hours, you looked like a zombie."
you shoot him a blank look. "thanks."
"a gorgeous zombie, but still."
"not helping."
a crease forms between his eyebrows at your usually soft, bright tone crackling into dry one. "you were dragging your feet, and talking to yourself more than usual. it was creepy."
you rolled your eyes, and hikaru watches as the bags under your eyes moved with the motion, his jaw setting into a firm line.
"so i'm not getting off of you until you tell me what's been up your ass lately."
offended, you gasp and writhe once more, trying to break free of the surprisingly strong grasp the hitachiin twin has on your wrists. "i don't have time for this!"
he chuckles a little at your flustered expression and sinks more of his weight onto your figure. "well, if you're not going to take a break, than i will. i think i'll take a little nap on this comfortable bed."
realizing he doesn't need to pin your arms down anymore with all of his weight on you, he lets go and nuzzles into the crook of your neck, his arms and legs sprawling out over your uniform.
"don't you dare, hikaru!" you say as you try to bring your arms underneath him to push him off, but he's just a block of dead weight.
his breath hits your ear, and you can feel the mischievous smile on his lips. "oh, wow, this is a bumpy mattress." wriggling, he adjusts so that he locks perfectly into your body, and a deep sigh emits from his lungs. "that's better."
another weak push strains your muscles before you give up completely. flopping back onto the mattress, you let out a frustrated groan.
"hikaru, please."
"oh, the mattress speaks?"
"my love."
laughing, he presses a kiss onto the column of your throat. "what's up, baby?"
like a weighted blanket, hikaru's body flush against yours has calmed your heart rate slightly, and all the exhaustion and stress that you have been feeling suddenly comes to a head.
your arms lift from your sides to wrap around his toned back, and you turn your face into the divot connecting his shoulder and his collarbone, inhaling the comforting scent of his cologne and laundry detergent.
"i've been awake for the past forty-eight hours."
his chest rumbles with a sympathetic hum. "i know."
"i'm tired."
his head pops up from the embrace, and sincerity shines in the liquid gold of his irises. "let's take a nap, and then we can figure something out afterwards, yeah?"
you can already feel your eyelids dragging over your pupils. "yeah, that sounds nice."
as you succumb to your fatigue, you barely register the way hikaru rolls off of you. his warmth returns when you feel an arm wedge itself under your waist and pull you to him so that you can lay on his chest with ease. the other wraps around your shoulders, and you feel his breath tickling the top of your head as he settles in beside you.
"thanks for telling me, baby."
.oOo.
"so, i think because i found the magnitude of this vector, than i should be able to find the acceleration, right?" kaoru asks, back hunched over his desk, spinning a pencil in his left hand as he concentrates on the paperwork in front of him.
when he doesn't get a response, he stops fidgeting and looks over to you: his incredibly intelligent, and usually helpful, partner.
you're sat next to him, slaving away at your laptop while he watches the blue light practically burn your retinas.
well, sat is a strong word.
you slouched, your neck barely able to keep your head on your shoulders as you worked at his desk, fingers robotically clicking at your mouse and dragging images to their predetermined place, your graphic design coming to fruition with each release of a button.
"(y/n)?"
at the sound of your name, your spine flinches slightly as it straightens. you whip your head towards him with such a quick motion, that he winces at the twist of the muscle, hoping you didn't get whiplash.
his hopes are dashed when you immediately face the front, bringing one of your hands up to massage the nape of your neck.
"are you okay?"
"i'm fine," you breathe, exhaustion sprinkled in your sigh. "what did you need?"
cautiously, kaoru slides his paper over to you while you shift closer to him, pulling your chair over until your legs touch underneath his desk.
"i don't know if i got this problem right."
through a yawn, your eyes scan his homework, everything coming together in a blurry font due to your lack of sleep. you can barely make out his handwriting on your best day, so the fact that you hardly think straight doesn't really help.
but you couldn't let kaoru know that.
"it looks good, babe."
he quirks a ginger eyebrow, glancing between the paper and then back up to where you sat.
"yeah?" he asks, studying you carefully.
"for sure."
"okay, well then," your boyfriend flips the paper over, where another disarray of words meet you. he scribbles something out before circling an answer choice from his options, then looks back at you. "that must be right, too, yeah?"
you nod, blinking slowly. "mhmm." you turn to look at him, a small smile on your lips. "you're so smart, love."
his lips curve up into a half-smirk as he tilts his head, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. golden irises squint as he glances over your face once more. "it's a smiley face."
your smile fades. "huh?"
the sneaky twin gestures towards the paper again, and after rubbing your palms over your eye-sockets, a happy face penciled in lead comes into accusing focus.
"i drew a smiley face, and you said i was smart." kaoru summarizes, a deadpan tone only being interrupted slightly as he laughs through his sentence. "what is going on with you?"
a frustrated whine ripples past your throat as you rest your head in your hands. your voice breaks into a quiet groan, and while your volume doesn't rise, your disappointment does. "god, this essay is making me lose my mind! i can't even think clearly, let alone write three more pages of this shit."
"hey, woah." kaoru rests his hand against your spine and rubs it, moving his hand back and forth in calming motions. "talk to me."
another deep sigh rushed out of you as you talk behind your hands, and your poor boyfriend can't hear a single thing.
the hand on your back glides to the side of your face, bringing your chin up and out of your grasp. he locks his gaze with yours as he leans back in his chair. "try again, babe."
"this essay makes me want to jump off a cliff."
"and you were gonna do that without me? i thought we had an agreement."
"shut up." despite yourself, you laugh.
the fingers on your chin shift to your scalp while he laughs with you, pushing only a few of the stray hairs away from your face. "have you slept?"
"not well."
kaoru notes a redness in your eyes he didn't see before. "not well, or not at all?"
you roll your eyes a little, but he knows it's not directed at him. you're disappointed in yourself. "a mix of both." hastily you look back at him, widening your eyelids a little at a poor attempt to look more awake.
"but it's no big deal!" your voice is a little too bright. "i can catch up on sleep once i submit this paper."
the gingered twin squints his eyes, but to your surprise, he shrugs, spinning in his office chair as he refocuses on his work. "yeah, i guess you're right. i get it."
your mouth was slightly agape at the fact that that actually worked. "you get it?"
"yeah. sometimes, people just can't sleep enough with everything going, ya know? i only got two hours of sleep last night, so i understand what you're going through."
there's a pause. kaoru fights a smirk as he scratches an equation into the top right of his paper.
"what?" a concerned voice reaches his ears, and he almost feels bad for lying. "only two hours?"
"mhmm." he hums, not even giving you a second glance.
"kaoru," the sweetest whine escapes your lips as he feels a hand on his shoulder. he steels his expression into one of confused nonchalance as he faces you again, only to be met with the spot you get between your crinkled eyebrow when you're worried. "why didn't you tell me?"
"what do you mean? it's not a big deal."
"yes it is!" your other hand reaches his opposite shoulder, and he turns to face you fully, reveling in your touch as you move to cradle his face. "sleep is important, babe, you can't just-"
his grin widens as a flash of realization flutters across your face. The worry in your features melts into a blank expression, and he laughs as you push his face away from yours, muttering a "jackass" under your breath.
the sneaky twin closes the distance though, pulling your chair ever closer to his to where nothing was standing in his way to pull you to his lap. you resist slightly, pouting as your sat into the space between his legs, but a natural, familiar gravity pulls you towards him anyway, and your face rests gently in the crook of his neck.
"rest for a couple minutes, okay? your paper will be here when you wake up."
a contended sigh seeps out of you as your exhaustion bubbles up to the surface. your eyelids begin to drop when you speak into his neck. "and what about you?"
kaoru's arms come to wrap around your folded form, burying you closer into his chest. "i'll always be here."
.oOo.
mori had gotten used to your talkative nature. being a man of little words, you complimented him well with your bright, energetic commentary about anything that excited you.
he supposed that he hadn't just gotten used to your bubbly personality shining through your lovely voice, he had come to love it; to rely on it.
so, when you entered your usual sparring session with your heels dragging on the wooden floor of the dojo, not only did the air feel off, he felt off.
your white gi hung off your rounded shoulders, the karate belt around your waist haphazardly tied in a knot at the front. and while you still looked as stunning as ever, mori could feel the confusion and worry well up in his chest.
he stood up from stretching out his hamstrings, his long body gracefully walking over to you to greet you with his usual hug. your smile was tired, and when you wrapped your arms around his thin waist, he felt you snuggle more into his hold and release a breath.
still gripping his waist, you looked up at him, your grin still exhausted but content when you propped your chin on his chest to meet his eyes.
"hey." you said, and your voice was airy and cracked.
"hi."
"how was your day?"
"good." his palms tightened on your back. "yours?"
you could barely keep your eyes open as you shrugged. "meh. it was interesting."
"yeah?"
"yeah." still, even in your tired state, you inched your face closer to his, a dazed look in your eye. "but we can talk about it later."
a disbelieving, good-natured scoff left him as a sharp exhale, your boyfriend knowing full-well that would not want to talk about it later. but he met you halfway, and your lips met in a lazy, soft kiss as he lowered his head to yours.
you had nearly put all of your weight onto him at this point, and as you sunk into his grip, he arched his back to counteract the force. his hands glided from your waist to your cheeks as he tilted his head, smirking slightly at the warm hum that left your throat.
pulling away, he kept his forehead on yours as he held you. a breathy left glazed over his face when you separated from him, and he opened his eyes to see a light curve on your plump lips.
"thanks, takashi. i needed that."
that brought all of his worries rushing back.
"(y/n)..." and you opened your eyes at the way he said your name. since mori wasn't the most vocal man you've been with, you learned to pick up on his tonal cues.
your name could be spoken in many ways. a gentle breeze as he tells you that he loves you, a deep inhale as you, yet again, prove your the clumsiest human alive, or maybe a groan in the late, late hours of the night.
this one was a mild warning, forming at the front of his mouth as he stares at you, deep brown eyes boring into yours with earnest.
"what?" you didn't want him to ask. but, he was kind and loving and really fucking stubborn. so, of course he was.
"what's wrong?"
a whine bubbled to the surface of your soft pallet as you dropped your face into the crook of his neck, even if you had to stand on your tip-toes to do so. abandoning your hold on his waist, you preferred to bring your arms up and around his shoulders, locking them around the back of his neck.
"i don't want to talk about it."
"what happened?"
"nothing, really. i promise."
"doesn't feel like nothing. here," gently, you felt a pressure on your hips as mori pushes you out of his hold, instead moving to grab your hand as he leads you to a traditionally decorated wall of the dojo.
letting go, the stoic leans his back against the wall before sliding down, tucking his lanky form into a sitting position before inviting you to do the same. "sit with me."
and he looked so sweet, his gaze hardened on the surface but filled with emotion and weight within it's depths. so how could you say no?
plus, he really wouldn't stop until you told him.
taking a spot next to him, you let your head roll onto the back of the wall before resting it on his shoulder. and the spot was so comfortable, so familiar, you wanted to fall asleep right there.
mori was stubborn, yes, but he was also patient. he waited like a boulder against the tide as you gathered your thoughts, loyal and permanent and determined to help you through whatever was plaguing you.
in your thoughtful silence, he imagined the stress you had been baring when you were assigned that presentation in class. even if you were energetic and outspoken, he knew public speaking terrified you. the pure panic that had erupted in your irises when you told him about the ten-minute powerpoint you had to put together in three days told him everything he needed to know about how your weekend was going to go.
that was two days ago, and he had suggested this impromptu sparring match to give you a little bit of a break. physical activity always cleared his head when he was stretched, and he figured if he could remind you how strong you were, then you could convince yourself that this would be a piece of cake.
but the bags under your eyes and the unanswered calls from him on your cell-phone made him think that this had been harder on you than he had originally expected.
a small snore broke him out of his thoughts, and he looked down at the source.
your eyes were peacefully closed, and your lips were parted as deep, calm breaths washed in and out of your chest. he relaxed slightly into the wall, and smiled as you cuddled closer to him in his small movement.
kissing the top of your head, he rested his cheekbone upon your hair as he rested his eyes as well.
you two would talk later. it wasn't physical activity you needed, or even a helping hand if you had let him.
all you needed, really, was a little bit of rest.
.oOo.
"(n/n)-chan! (n/n)-chan!"
honey bounced up to your desk as you typed away, usa-chan banging against the side of his calves as he stopped at the end of your chair. "wanna play with me, (n/n)-chan?"
you barely spared him a glance, but your eyes met his with a quick shake of your head as you returned your urgent glance to your laptop. "not right now, honey. sorry."
the blonde's bouncing stopped, a little to awe-struck at your rejection to feel sad about it. he was more confused than anything. you never said no to him.
a deep, apparent wrinkle appeared between his brows as the boy-lolita tugged on your sleeve, causing your fingers to slip off the keyboard slightly as you typed. "please?"
"what the-?" your hand having slipped, it gently brushes the cup of tea near your working space, and you gasp before rolling your eyes. "no, honey. i told you, i can't. go play with usa-chan, okay?" you quickly pulled your sleeve out of his grasp and got back to your work, leaving him deflated at your side.
this time he was pouting, and the wrinkle on his forehead turned from confused to determined as he walked around to the opposite side of the table to crawl into the chair across from you.
"what are you workin' on?"
this time your eyes flicked up to him for a longer moment. you wondered why he couldn't leave you alone, but you guessed it was better that he was sitting over there rather than pulling at your uniform and keeping you from your work. "the club's website."
he gasped as he swung his legs on the chair, too short to reach the ground from this height. "ooh, are you making it pretty?"
a sigh came from deep within you as your eyes squinted, zooming in on something on the other side of your screen. "you could say that."
"what are you doing to it?"
you shrugged, still focused on your work. "formatting, graphic designing, boring tech stuff."
"cool!" honey excitedly places his palms on the table, seeing if he sat up straighter, he could get a better view. "how do you know how to do all that?"
you suspiciously scanned him over as he edged closer, pulling your computer forward on the table. "lots of practice."
a high-pitched hum exudes from the third-year as he tilts his head, almost fully on the table now, but something has caught your eye, and your back to your furious typing, not noticing how close he's gotten.
his voice sounds distant in your focus. "couldn't you take a break? for cake? a cake break?" he giggles, but his smile falters when you don't hear his joke.
"haven't taken a break in two days, honey. not gonna start now." your voice is low and inattentive, trailing off as you scroll through the columns and columns of pictures and texts.
still crawling towards you, his brown eyes widen slightly. "two days?" he gasps, and begins to count on his fingers. "that's uhhh..." honey counts his fingers under his breath for a moment before he brightens with an answer. "forty eight hours worth of work! did you even sleep?"
"nope. no sleep. kyoya needs this done by tonight."
"what?!" at that, honey stands to his full height, his small but strudy weight easily supported by the desk underneath him. you jerk back as he points a finger in your face, his voice still young but firm as he speaks down to you. "you need to take a nap right now!"
"honey!" the blonde has your full attention now. "get down!"
"nope!" his pink lips pop the 'p' noise as he shakes his head defiantly. "not until you agree to sleep! kyo-chan can wait."
your hands come up in an exasperated motion and you stand up, pushing your chair out from under you. "honey, this table is not stable. you're gonna fall if you don't get down!"
"will you take a break?"
"i can't!"
"well, then i'm not coming down." folding his arms across his chest, he puffs it out, a proud look on his face.
his confident aura melts, however, when the table shifts with his dramatic movement.
you suck in a breath as honey throws his arms out to balance himself, barely keeping the table at bay as he wiggles side to side.
"okay! okay, i'll take a ten-minute nap! just, please sweetheart, get down from there."
even in the midst of chaos of his own making, honey still finds the. motivation to negotiate. "twenty minutes!"
"fine!" you round the table and extend your arms, and he leaps into them as you pick him up. your heart rate slows as you hold him while the table falls with the loss of his added weight, your tea and computer skidding to opposite sides of the tile.
blankly, you look at honey as he winces at the impact, and then at the dark aura that slowly begins to crowd around your frame.
"i can pay for that." he promises.
.oOo.
your knee bounces under your desk as you watch haruhi's eyes flick over your screen, the words you spent two days writing reflecting back in her dark brown eyes as she reads your work.
your hands are clasped in front of your lips, keeping you from saying anything like 'i changed my mind!' or 'okay, you can stop now', because you're pretty sure haruhi would ignore you anyway.
she had insisted on reading your short story. it was something you did in your free time, and it was something she knew you took pride in.
sometimes, if you felt courageous enough, you would submit them into newspapers, or maybe magazines and blogs if you were really going all out, this past weekend being one of those times. day in and day out, you sat at your writing desk, typing away for what felt like mere seconds as the story in your mind began to unfold onto the pages in front of you. barely any food and close to no sleep rendered a masterpiece of literature, or at least that was what haruhi had assured you she would call it if you let her proof-read it.
your natural host promised that it would take her only a few minutes to read the whole thing, and then you could be on your way to submit it to the magazine's editor. plus, it was the least you could do since you basically ignored her calls and used up all of your study-date time to edit and revise your concluding paragraph.
but finally, finally, after many torturous seconds, your girlfriend leans back. her hands wrap around the edge of your macbook to only shut the laptop halfway and push it aside, turning her full attention back to you.
very briefly, you pulls your hands away from your mouth to ask the question you've been dreading. "what do you think?"
the gentle look that haruhi always wears stays frozen for a moment, but slowly starts to melt into a soft smile as she meets your nervous gaze. "it's good, love. it's really good."
straightening, your eyes widen as you bite your lip. "really?"
her smile gets brighter as amazement floods your cheekbones. "really."
"oh my god." releasing a breath you didn't know you were holding, you throw yourself into the back of your chair. pulling your palms up and around, they rake over your face before scratching through your hair, a groan morphing into a laugh as relief sputters out of you. you feel like you need to say it again, probably louder for good measure. "oh my god! you really liked it?"
the honor student's deep laugh joins yours as watches you bask in a job well done. "why would i lie about that?"
touching down to earth, you shrug, your hands falling into your lap. "because you love me, and you would do anything to make me happy?"
she snorts, leaning forward as she is drawn into your space. "you're right. i do love you. probably just enough to never lie to you again."
a teasing smile curves your lips as you fake offended disbelief, scooting closer so that your knees slip between her own. "again?"
brunette eyebrows work upwards as haruhi mirrors your smirk, nodding as she gets even closer. "mhmm."
"and what have you lied about, haruhi dear?" her breath is mixing in with yours now, and she keeps her kiss barely out of reach, her lips grazing yours as she responds.
"about letting you leave tonight."
"wha-?" your eyebrows knit as haruhi shoots out of her chair, and before you can protest, she is straddling your hips, one of her legs on either side of you as you blush at her sudden proximity.
"haruhi!" but even if your voice sounds surprised, you hold her closer, your palms coming to rest on her thighs.
"when was the last time you slept?" she asks, suddenly serious as she cups your face in her hands.
"last night." you say, but she squints at your response.
"for how long?"
"enough." you whine, bringing your hands around her waist, encouraging her to be flush against you. "don't worry about it."
"(y/n), you look exhausted. i'm going to be worried about it."
you look at her for a moment before realizing that she isn't going to back down. shoulders slumping, you drop your head onto her shoulder, hugging her close to your body. "two hours. maybe."
a displeased noise expels from her throat, but suddenly you feel slender fingers rubbing your back, toying with the hairs on the back of your neck. "you need to sleep."
making a grunt of blind agreement, you melt into her hold, the excitement and anxiousness you felt about your story being blown away by a gust of drowsiness. the scratches on your scalp weren't helping.
"like right now." she emphasizes, and tries to wiggle out of your hold, but you were stronger. tightening your grip around her slim waist.
her shoulders shake with another endearingly low laugh as she hugs you back. "let's get to the bed, love."
you don't think you've ever slept deeper in your life.
.oOo.
starting to write again, and i used this as a little exersise to get back into it. hopefully it can tide you over! i'll see you soon :)
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leclerc-hs · 6 months
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after hours - cl16
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Pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader Summary: based upon ‘After Hours’ by the Weeknd….kinda? Warnings: angst? bad writing lmao, some smut Word Count: 1,955 Author's Note: Feel free to send in requests. I know I'm not the best writer but I have fun doing it anyways lmao kk love u all!!!
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
IT WASN'T ALWAYS like this. This mess of a situation that had caused utter chaos and pain that now lays awake inside the both of you. You used to be happy.
“Without you I can’t sleep,”
In the midst of a restless night, you couldn’t help but toss and turn. You were thrashing around and the sheets were at complete disarray from your constant kicking and rolling around. The oppressive summer heat was merciless as it couldn’t help but creep in through your windows and into your apartment. You had stripped down into a mere spaghetti strapped tank top with the most diminutive semblance piece of underwear. One would question the classification of such a minuscule garment. Sleep, in these circumstances, appeared to be pointless.
You spent, what felt like hours, relentlessly scrolling on your phone in hopes you would eventually grow tiresome. And it was working at first. That is, until you saw the Instagram story of him. Him at the club with friends. While you lie here completely alone and restless. 
The initial reaction to seeing this story was to roll your eyes. By the time 5 minutes had passed and you were still staring at it, you couldn’t help but feel sick to your stomach. It just doesn’t make sense. How is it that he can be out partying while you’re in bed incapable of sleep. Did he not care? Did he ever even love you?
You began to laugh at yourself. Of course, he didn’t love you. If he loved you, he wouldn’t have kissed another girl. He would’ve fought for you more.
“Girl, I felt so alone inside of this crowded room,”
The swarm of heat surrounded him. But not from the humid summer air like you. No, his form of insufferable heat was from the crowd of drunken bodies that filled the club. His friends had dragged him out. Told him he needed to ‘stop moping around’. Told him that he ‘needs time with his boys’ to cheer up.
The irony of this all weighed heavily upon him. A relentless reminder of the gaping void you have left behind. It was as if you had woven yourself into the very fabric of his consciousness. A presence that refused to be ignored.
It had only been a few weeks since he saw you last. But still, you would never leave his mind.
But who is he to complain? Who is he to even care about how he feels when its him who had destroyed one of the only good things in his life. It was all a mistake. One he would absolutely take back and delete its existence if he had that kind of power. 
“I know I made you fall,”
“I just don’t understand how you could do this to me,” Your voice trembled with each shout of a word that you let out. The very walls that surrounded you felt as if they were caving in. It was unbearable. The act of betrayal was too blatant to ignore.
Your boyfriend in tabloids kissing another woman. Kissing another woman. Kissing another woman. Publicly. 
The words repeated in your head like a broken record.
“Mon amour,” he started. You cut him off almost instantly. You could not be silenced. 
It was too quick. So quick, you couldn’t even process the rage that was igniting within you. One second, you held his phone in your hand. The next second, it was shattered all over the floor beside him. Smashed from impact of hitting the wall. A mirror of what your trust for him looked like.
“Don’t call me that,” you seethed. You ached. “I’m not your anything.” 
His mouth opened ready to fight back. Ready to do anything for your forgiveness. He didn’t want to lose you. He couldn’t handle it. He needed you. 
“Not anymore,” you continued before grabbing your purse. “Don’t contact me. I can’t look at you.” You couldn’t even cry. Your eyes were red, puffy, and completely dry. Your body couldn’t even handle making more tears.
The worst part about this entire fight? Did you really want no contact, or did you just yearn for him to fight for you? The question loomed over you. 
Honestly, it’s a fine line. Deciding if the no contact really is the best option or if all you wanted was for him to show more effort for you. To try harder. Would you forgive him? Would you move on? 
“It was simply a blessing waking beside you,”
He couldn’t help but reminisce on all the mornings you spent together. Even at the club. He was shameless. 
The morning sun slowly began peeking through the cream-colored curtains of your bedroom. It was one of your favorite times. The time where you’re on the cusp of being lucid but not completely there yet. This time full of raw love and passion.
His fingers slowly trailed up your ribcage and to your nipples before giving them a slight pinch. Goosebumps arose wherever his fingers trailed.
“Mon amour,” his hips started rolling slowly into you.  Your nipple still pinched in between the rolling of his two fingers. “Give it to me” he said.
You were a moaning mess. “Please,” you were begging. Begging to reach that peak you oh so needed. 
“Tell me what you need,” The pace of his hips increased. The sound of skin to skin slapping mixed with the sounds of both of your moans filled the room and only pushed you towards the edge more. 
“Is it me, amour?” He started. “You always take me so well. So, fucking tight mon amour,” Charles was relentless now. His hips picked up pace urgently. He was feverishly reaching for that peak as well. He fucked himself into you so hard it was as if he was trying to burn the memory of you here with him for forever. 
“What a fucking salope,” He edged you further. “My fucking salope.”
“Come on, mon amour. Make a fucking mess of me,” It was right then. Your orgasm hit hard and fast. Your own thighs squeezed tighter together as you pulsed around him. His orgasm following soon after.
Charles breathed heavily behind you and placed gentle kisses along the backside of your shoulder blade. 
“You did so well, mon amour,” He pecked more kisses. “I never want to wake up without you.”
“Sorry that I broke your heart,”
It was well late into the night. In the dimly lit room, you found yourself wrapped in an emotional embrace. Hard knocks were heard on the front door of your apartment causing you to jump up in surprise. 
“Mon amour,” you heard him speak first on the other side of the door. You immediately stopped in your tracks. Your throat felt constricted. Those two words burned in your memory. It was as if mon amour had become your name. You couldn’t even remember the last time Charles used your real name. 
The tumultuous mixture of anger, betrayal, and love clawed at you. Making it difficult to discern your true feelings.
You hesitated. Whether you should open the door or not. His knocking became insistent. Loud. Each moment that passed his fist against the door went harder. 
Out of respect for your neighbors, you let him in. At least that’s what you told yourself to feel better. 
Charles was leaned against the door frame for support. He looked tired. A look of anger was in his eyes. He wasn’t in the right state of mind. He knew he had no right to be mad at you. But he was. He was being completely irrational as he marched his way over here.
“You are going to sit. You are going to listen to me,” He demanded as he pushed into your apartment. He gripped your wrist as he pulled you into the apartment and to the couch. You accept it anyways. Not because he deserved it, but because you need closure.
“The picture looks wrong,” he began. “I just need to explain this to you. Even if it doesn’t change anything.” He kneeled before you, in between your legs as he explained himself. His green eyes, a tad darker with a reddish tint lined around them, were staring solely into yours.
With a slight nod of your head, you let him continue.
“It’s all wrong. It’s not an excuse, but I did not kiss her back.” His words were sharp. As if he wanted to burn those words into your brain. 
“Pictures say otherwise, Cha,” you felt like you were going to throw up. This conversation burned tears into your eyes, but you did your best to hold them back. 
“She was a fan. She came up to me and grabbed me,” his hands slipped onto your knees and squeezed them tightly. “She grabbed me and kissed me.” His voice was cracking slightly as he let his head drop and rest on your legs.
You knew this information wouldn’t change much. It was still a kiss. One that shouldn’t have happened. 
“Whether she kissed you or you kissed her. It doesn’t change. Don’t you see?” You moved your knee so he would lift his head up. “It’s not going to change anything.” You said. You weren't even positive if it wouldn't change anything. But it was all that could come to mind. “It shouldn’t have even happened.”
“Mon,” 
You cut him off by standing up. “Would you stop calling me that!” You were shouting now. Walking from the confines of his presence. It was too much. He was too close. You couldn’t think properly. 
“I can’t,” He arose from his knees and stood beside the coffee table. “I will do anything.” It was then. His voice finally cracked, and you could sense that tears have started falling from his eyes. He didn’t even bother to wipe them as he sat down on the couch. Exactly where you were last seated. 
In a moment that could only be described as naïve or perhaps even foolish, the depth of your love for him exceeded all rationality. You couldn’t even stand to see him crying, even if he was the one who ignited these issues into your relationship. You still wanted to comfort him regardless. He didn’t deserve it and you knew that. But in this moment, you couldn’t even care if it made you weak. Because you wanted to feel his embrace too. 
You trailed back across the room to sit beside him to wrap your arms around him. The two of you entangled on the couch seeking some form of comfort. He didn’t deserve it – the comfort. Most importantly, didn’t deserve you. 
“I need you to leave,” you began. His arms wrapped tighter around you. He didn’t want to let go. It was as if his grip onto you as if he was physically holding onto what remained of your tattering connection. “Please.” You were begging as your head rested in the crook of his neck. 
You only felt him shake more. Undoubtedly, crying. But he understood.
“I just need space,” your voice was a fragile whisper. “I still love you. I miss you. I wish this never happened to us.” His lips pressed to any inch of skin that was within proximity. You felt his hot tears slip onto your skin with each kiss he pressed. 
The plea for space, while still expressing love and longing, demonstrates the need for personal boundaries and self-care.
“I will keep fighting for you,” He pulled away before standing up from the couch. “I will do anything. I promise you that. You are the love of my life.”
It wasn’t until then, that you felt your tears spill out of your eyes. With a small nod of your head, he walked out of the apartment with his heart still latched onto you. Yours with his. It was a tapestry of emotions left in wake.
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buckttommy · 18 days
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recontextualizing this story through the lens of buck/eddie and what it means for them, is like. it's so interesting because recently, i got an anon that asked me (paraphrasing) if i thought 9-1-1 would actually "go there" with buck and eddie as individuals, and that three main characters discovering their queerness would be "too much" for the general audience. and, like, not withstanding that it's actually true to life — that queer people can and do naturally gravitate toward each other even when we aren't out / passing / aware of our sexualities at the time — it's also just like. the belief (or disbelief) that 911 wouldn't "go there" with their stories also comes with this inherent assumption that there's only one way to tell a queer discovery story.
like. when michael came out in season 1, he was already at the end of his journey. he had already walked through the self-hate and forced closeting and came out on the other side to self acceptance. when we meet michael, he is a queer man, a gay man (because the word is important), who has already stepped into self actualization and is ready to live his truth. this is not the story 911 is telling with buck.
and then with eddie, you have this character that is introduced with the idea of being perfect, as ryan said, of having it all together, only for the audience to realize he's not. only for the audience to realize that he's broken and cracked on the inside and that a lot of it stems from war. but most of it? most of it doesn't. most of it stems from his father, and from how he was raised. raised to shut it down, to swallow things whole even if they hurt, even if they make him bleed. he was told to keep it all quiet, repress repress repress. and so. i know this is an unpopular opinion, but to that end, i don't think an explicit queer discovery storyline is necessary for him, in the sense that, subtextually, i think it's already happened. season 5 was very much eddie's unrepression arc. we dug deep into the things that make eddie diaz, eddie diaz. and a lot of that was war. violence. chaos."warzones are my thing." but if that was all that his arc was meant to be, why have it end with a conversation with his father? they could have played that arc out in so many different ways.
for one, they could have had mills still be alive. they could have had her and eddie reconnect. they could have had her and eddie have a conversation where she shoulders some of the weight that eddie's been putting on himself and have him settle into the peace of the realization that he's not alone in this specific thing, that he never has been, that other people survived what he did and that he can find solace in them. but the writers didn't do that. they took it back to his childhood, to the root of where eddie diaz began and they said, this is where you need to go. this is what you need to address before you can heal and move on. so that conversation with his dad that culminated in him choosing wellness, in him choosing happiness, in him choosing safety in his body for himself has very much always read to me as queer acceptance even if not explicit (due to the assumed barriers that were placed on that story at the time).
eddie has always been with women, eddie has always liked being with women, so i'd be shocked if he's ever even thought about the nuances of his sexuality. but his unrepression in season 5, to me, has always made him open to the possibility of falling into whatever comes next, whatever that looks like.
this is also not the story they're telling with buck.
(as a side note, i'd just like to say that queer subtext is still queer existence. subtext is how our stories have been told for generations, well before we were able to take up space on the page, and subtext is still a wholly valid and beautiful way of telling a queer story. please don't forget that).
so then, finally, we get to buck, and he's so very new at this. so very green he may as well be a blade of grass on a country club golf course. and so, despite the fact that there have already been two queer storylines prior, this is the first time in 9-1-1 (and tv!) history, that we have ever gotten to see an unplanned queer character discover who he is at this intimate, detailed level. we get to see buck's story unfold in real time, we get to learn about who this actualized version of himself is, as he is realizing it, and we get to know and dissect the layers and nuances, the ebbs and flows of his sexuality as he's taking himself apart and seeing what's underneath.
friends. this is the story they've always needed to tell.
and so, when i think about buck and eddie, and i think about their progression toward a romantic relationship and what that would look like, realistically and in the eyes of the audience, buck has really always been the missing key. we've talked about it before — who he is, who he was, has in no way been ready for eddie on multiple levels. whether it was because of his insecurity, his lack of place in the world, etc, buck has always been (for lack of a better word) too immature for eddie. eddie is a single father. he doesn't have time to play games, and though he will always love and reassure buck when he needs it, he doesn't have time to heal buck for him. nor should he. so buck was the only one who canonically, canonically, needed to be yanked from point a to point z.
and. it's like everyone's said, even before the season began — buck has been on a hamster wheel, buck has been stuck in a rut, yadda yadda yadda, which means that, as far as the audience was concerned, what always was for buck (women) is what always would have been. and there was nothing in canon, nothing concrete to disprove them from believing so. so we needed him to fall into something, not just radical, but sometime new.
and when i think about buck, and when i think about eddie, and when i think about their stories both as individuals and together, buck has, realistically, been the only real stopping point. at least with eddie, when the time is right and buck/eddie go canon, we, the audience, can go back in time and we can look at the way he came into himself and settled into his identity as a person, as a man, and say, like, oh okay, this is the moment. you know? we don't need the writers to take our hands and guide us through the same processes buck is experiencing because eddie's already had his ah moment, he's already experienced the moment where he decides that his life and his needs and his joy and his liberation are just as beautiful and valuable and worthy like everyone else's.
so when people ask, like, "would 9-1-1 really go there with three queer discovery arcs?" it's just like. well yes. they already have. we've already there. in fact, we're well into the third and final act. buck, eddie, and the audience, are almost ready — as in, actively ready — for each other. and yes, sure, even after the meat of this arc has passed, there will still be some things buck and eddie need to learn — specifically, they will need to learn that, not only do they have feelings for each other, but that feelings for each other is actually an option — but. for all intents and purposes, this is the crescendo before the final chord. this is it. and the thought that we've been here, that we've witnessed these three beautiful queer storylines unfold with these three beautiful characters (two of which are gentle, loving, present men of color) makes me entirely too emotional for words. tbh.
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lovelytsunoda · 1 year
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the day you kissed a writer in the dark // han lue (tokyo drift)
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summary: she's stood by his side for years. his loyal mechanic, the brains behind his brawn. but she'd be lying if she said that it didn't hurt to watch him flirt with those other women in his club, when he came home to her every night in secret.
bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark, now she's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart. i am my mother's child, i'll love you 'till my breathing stops.
pairing: han lue x mechanic! reader
warnings: smut, inappropriate use of a drifting car, insecurity and self-doubt, secret relationships, unplanned pregnancy.
author's note: here's something a little different today, lovelies! it's a departure from the usual realm of f1 content i usually bless you all with, but i felt like i needed to do something different to avoid burning myself out, and rewatching tokyo drift gave me the inspiration that i needed :)
she hated the club.
in the back end of her mind, she always resented the mere existence of that secret room leading to han's garage. the fact that he chose to surround himself with women in tight dresses with long legs and perky boobs like he was some kind of yakuza punk.
well, this wasn't crows fucking zero. this was real life.
she couldn't help but draw comparisons between these beautiful girls and herself. as she curled in on herself to duck through the crowd, she frowned at her reflection in the window: her torn up jeans, the grease stain on the cuff of her army-green sweater, the zip barely done up enough to cover up her double-d's, a small nut from her very first car hanging limply from a chain around her neck.
some days, she wondered why han had chosen her of all people.
"sean?" she asked quietly, poking the young american boy in the arm, practically shouting to be heard. "have you seen han?"
sean shook his head. "no, sorry. have you checked the garage?"
"i'm heading back there now. thanks, sean." she sighed, backing out the way that she came, trying not to think about all of the places that her boyfriend could be right now.
the anxiety ate away at her. was he with one of the other girls? one of the prettier, taller, thinner ones? was that why he wanted to keep the relationship under wraps?
was han ashamed of her?
she hurried down the rickety metal staircase, dropping her purse on the workbench as she went, subconsciously placing a hand over her stomach as she thought about the white plastic stick inside the fake leather bag.
they'd been sneaking around for a year, but they'd known each other far longer. she had come to tokyo when she was twenty-one, with a pocketful of cash and a monkey wrench. she had a high school diploma, but that didn't mean much to the rally teams she had applied to work on the pit crews for.
and that's when han swooped her up. when she became the bonnie to his clyde, the mechanic for his little street racing gambit.
that was three years ago. now she was almost twenty-five, he was twenty-seven, and he was in far too deep for them to keep going like this.
she knew why he had to keep it a secret. telling the world that she was his lover would put a target on her back. because that's what happens when you get in deep with someone like dk.
she pulled her hair back with the green rubber band on her wrist, pushing up her sleeves as she reached for a ratchet and approached han's car, the hood already open and ready for her.
working on the cars had always been her safe haven. her distraction from the outside world. fixing something that was broken gave her a satisfaction like no other.
"babe?" han's voice echoed through the garage, and she hated herself for the way that she froze up, fingers tightening around the ratchet. "sean said you were asking around for me? is everything okay?"
she withdrew from the car, slamming the hood down. "you're pushing the car too far. the engine is wearing down, you have to get something stronger. the serpentine belt is at it's brink."
"and that's why you're the brains of this operation and i'm just the pretty boy who drifts." han said playfully, wrapping his arms around her midsection as resting his chin on her shoulder.
"be more careful out there, seoul-oh." she said softly, placing a cold hand on top of his warm one before turning her head and kissing him softly. "i don't know what i'd do if anything ever happened to you."
han spun her body around gently, his hands on her waist as she jumped to perch her body on the edge of the hood, her fingers tangling in his dark, silky hair.
"you don't need to worry about me, sweetheart. i'm going to be okay."
she sighed, lacing her fingers together behind his neck. "where were you, han? wandering around your club with a girl on each arm? a girl that's three times prettier than i am, maybe one who's clothes are a little more revealing-"
"y/n, stop." han said firmly. "baby, you're the only one. my only one." he kissed her on the forehead softly. "i love you. i love you so much that it hurts. i wish i could shout it from the rooftops, but i can't put you in danger like that. i don't want dk to know, because that's a target on your back that i don't want there."
he pulled her as close as he could, arms wrapped securely around her as he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. "i couldn't live with myself if anything ever happened to you."
the sincerity in the older man's voice was reassuring. but some days, it wasn't enough. she loved him more than words could say, but she was getting tired of being his little secret.
but at the end of the day, it was her bed that he always came home to. his arms she woke up in. his terrible singing in the kitchen while he made coffee with breakfast.
han lue was hers.
she kissed him again, still sitting on the edge of the toyota's hood. this kiss was stronger, harder. with more feeling as she bunched han's sweater up in her fingers, trying to wrestle it off his broad shoulders, his hands gripping her thighs tight enough to make her moan against his lips.
"seoul-oh." she mumbled as han broke away from her, pulling his sweater off the rest of the way before tugging his everlast t-shirt over his head.
they fit together like well-worn puzzle pieces, his lips finding that place on her neck that made her crumble, turned her legs to jelly as he slipped a hand up the front of her sweater, thumb tracing comforting shapes against her stomach as he nipped at her neck, biting down gently. there would be a hickey there in a mere matter of hours.
trailing kisses back up her neck, he gently bit her earlobe before placing one hand on the side of her face to guide her lips back to his, the other hand braced against the hood of the car to hold himself up. she bit down on his bottom lip, wrenching a growl from the back of han's throat.
he pulled away, dropping to his knees in front of the car as his large hands dipped under the waistband of her jeans. after reaching down to untie and kick off her beat up vans, she reached above her to grab the exposed beam in the garage ceiling, pulling her body up and allowing han to pull her jeans and panties down her legs in one fell swoop.
"oh, not on the car, baby. you'll stain the bodywork."
"don't care." han hummed, kissing the soft skin of her thigh. "i can't think of anything prettier than you. on the hood of my car, legs spread wide for me." he mumbled in between kisses, inching ever closer to where y/n needed him most, her arousal dripping onto the cool metal hood of the drift car.
and when his lips touched her throbbing clit, she could have sworn she turned electric, using one hand to brace herself against the car and burying the other in han's hair as she threw her head back in a throaty moan.
"han." she panted, grinding against his face as his tongue licked and sucked at her core. "oh, baby, yes."
han smiled to himself, kissing her clit gently as he held her thighs open with his hands. "still think that i don't find you attractive any more?"
"shut up, please. i need you so bad." she'd barely finished speaking when another low, seductive moan left her mouth. the arm that was holding her body up threatened to buckle underneath her as she tugged on han's hair, urging him to keep going.
han chuckled, the vibrations sending shockwaves through her body as her arm buckled, and she found herself lying against the hood, her head on the windscreen as she bucked her hips, searching for more as her lover tongue-fucked her, her legs thrown over his shoulders with reckless abandon.
"seoul-oh." she whined, clenching her thighs around han's head
"i know, baby." he mumbled softly, kissing her thigh. "you're doing so well darling. come for me."
and that's exactly what she did. with a moan so loud that she was shocked that the patrons of the club couldn't hear it echoing through the garage, she let go, her juices coating the lower half of han's face as he licked her clean before wiping off the bottom half of his face with the back of his hand.
"fuck." he mumbled, standing between her legs and leaning over the car to kiss her. "i can't get enough of you, baby. i think i'm gonna need more."
"oh yeah?" she smiled sitting up slightly, resting her weight on her elbows and raising an eyebrow when she saw the obvious hard-on struggling to break free from the confines of han lue's jeans. "and what do you think we should do about it?"
"back. room. now." he said, softly but firmly, kissing her in between each word as she wrapped her bare legs around his body, allowing han to pick her up and carry her over to the back room, where a double bed was piled high with blankets for the nights where they worked late, or drift races lasted until the mere hours of the morning.
or, nights where neither of them wanted to go home. han was sure that they had fucked on almost every available surface of the garage.
she undid her sweater slowly, revealing the lacy white bra underneath, the makeshift pendant on her necklace hanging delicately just above the hollow of her breasts as she cast the fabric aside, reaching up to snap the elastic band in her hair, letting it cascade in waves down her shoulders.
"you're beautiful, you know that?" he said softly, kneeling on the mattress as he rested one hand gently against her cheek.
she leaned into his touch, reaching up to wrap her slender fingers around his wrist, pressing a soft kiss to the heel of his hand.
she knew she should tell him. han needed to know.
but now was definitely not the time.
not that she could find the words while he kissed her neck, her chest, her stomach, his fingers dancing across her back as he fumbled with the clasp of her bra, erection straining against his jeans.
"han, babe." she mumbled, reaching behind her. "it's been a year now, you should know how to undo a bra, mr. womanizer." she joked, pushing his hands away as she pulled the bra off by herself.
"why would i need to know how to do it when you just take it off by yourself most of the time?" he grinned, standing up to unbuckle his belt.
he started to undo his jeans, pausing halfway as if he had forgotten something before he darted over to the rolling toolbox in the back of the room, pulling a small foil packet out of the top drawer.
fat lot of good a condom would do them now.
not when she was already carrying his baby inside of her.
her body trembled with anticipation as she watched han rid himself of his jeans, the echo of his belt buckle hitting the floor echoing around the room before he rolled the latex sheath onto his thick, hard cock.
god, she was a fool in love. han seoul-oh made her feel every range of emotions all at once.
"seoul-oh." she mumbled, lips against his as he clambered onto the bed, covering her body with his broad one.
"hm?" han mumbled, pressing kisses all over her face.
"i love you, han lue." she said firmly, gently pushing his face away so she could look him in the eyes. "i mean it, babe. you've ruined me for anybody else. you're it for me."
"good, because i don't think i could love anybody else if i tried." han breathed out, kissing her again, the tip of his cock teasing her entrance.
she squirmed under him, a small gasp escaping her lips before she bit down on her bottom lip.
she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of hearing her beg. that wasn't what tonight was for.
han knew this as well, gently pushing himself inside her. tonight was about more than just chasing a high. for both of them. it was about love, and reassurance, and intimacy.
she threaded her fingers through his hair, whining as han moved ever so slightly, the sensations they both felt sending shockwaves through their bodies.
"seoul-oh." she moaned softly. "please. god, you feel incredible."
"yeah?" han crooned, thrusting softly and barely holding back a moan of his own. "you look so pretty with my cock inside you, my sweet sweet girl."
"just like that." she whined as he thrusted again, bucking her hips into him, trying to take his length deeper. "keep doing that, fuck."
when han's nimble fingers came up grip and massage her right breast, she knew she was a goner, arching her back to drive her body into him with a moan as he kissed her chest.
"you like that, baby? yeah, you love having my hands all over you. and i love touching your beautiful body." han murmured, sucking a hickey onto her collarbone. he could feel himself unravelling, knew that the end was nigh as he moaned against her skin, blindly reaching for her hand.
there were no more slow thrusts as the driver began to pick up the pace, his lover's legs wrapped tightly around him as she moaned his name.
"oh god, han, baby. fuck, keep going." she panted, one hand trailing down her body to play with her clit. anything to get her closer to that release she craved as she whined and squirmed under han's touch.
she'd seen this film before, and she already knew the ending. and the start if the sequel.
"come for me, baby. i know you can take it, just give me one more, okay?"
"han, han, holy shit." she moaned, feeling the coil in her stomach finally snap, her high crashing over her like a wave.
her lover groaned above her, a guttural sound ripped straight from his throat before han gently pulled out of her sensitive body, the evidence of his own peak contained within the clear latex that he slid off his member, tying the condom off in a knot before punting it into the trash can next to his desk.
she pulled the blankets up as han settled in the bed next to her, his warm fingers dancing in gentle circles against her sweaty skin as they laid together in the afterglow, a content look on his face as he kissed her on the forehead.
"seoul-oh." she said quietly, twirling his long, dark locks of hair around her fingertip. "i have to tell you something."
"what's on your mind, pretty girl?" worry creased han seoul-oh's face, a pit forming in his stomach.
he hated seeing her like this.
"i'm pregnant."
han's eyes widened. "what? babe, why didn't you tell me?"
"i've been trying all day. but you've had your hands full with dk and sean and drifting." she said sadly. "but i can't raise this baby with dk breathing down our necks. you need to get out of this life, seoul-oh."
han frowned thoughtfully, one hand resting against the side of her face. "i'm going to be a father. fucking hell, babe this is incredible. i promise you, i'm going to make a plan, and i'm going to get us out of tokyo."
"you know we can't keep this a secret any longer, right? i'm already eight weeks along, once the first trimester ends, i won't be able to hide it."
"you're right, you're right. we'll test the waters. i'll tell sean and twinkie in the morning, see how the news of our relationship goes over with them. i want to keep it from dk until i can find a way to get us out of here."
y/n nodded, lacing her fingers with han's and placing his hand on her stomach. "okay. let's do this thing." she broke out into a smile. "we're going to be parents, han. can't you picture it? sitting behind the wheel of your toyota, with our little gremlin on your lap, teaching them how to drive before they can even walk."
han laughed. "they'll be born with a monkey wrench in one hand and a bag of lays in the other."
"i love you, seoul-oh." she said softly, kissing him gently. "i'm so glad i found you three years ago.
"i love you more, y/n. and i can't wait to raise this kid with you."
Tags (though im not sure if any of you are interested loll):
@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @sidcrosbyspuck @scuderiamh
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memories
Old daggers in old wounds, I thought I had written my last poem about you. An old ghost returning to an empty room twisting blades to ensure that I don't forget about you.
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thedivineart · 1 year
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Confirmation Signs To Determine Your Future Spouse
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ꕀ ׅ࣪ ꒰ ✮ ꒱ links : navigation. send love.
pacs. paid services.
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one
wishing well, a fountain, throwing coin and wishing in fountain, unexpected meeting, receiving the most special gift from someone, a lost purse/wallet, climbing alone in mountain to reduce stress/ hangout, being alone without feeling lonely, a dog coming towards you, small home in forest, cross roads, being happy in other people relationship, going to building/institutions to fix legal documents, a friends to lovers trope, visioning your past life, a gallantry from someone, aiming financial achievement, lucky money wins, a nest eggs, flames, mutual feelings with someone, being flirt, co-worker, a new friend, ships, a little home/cottage, new house/places, moving to a new place, soulmate connection, meeting perfect person/ ideal lover, seeing lots of abiding love, wedding, wedding rings, hurt/painful feeling, hospital/doctor, unrequited love
⋆ feel free to ask question you didn't understand in this reading
‹𝟹 leave like or re-blog when you love it !
two
changing location whether it is for work or residency, when you heal from the past, starting a new, stork, a invitation for a event, gifts ( receive or give ), helpful advice from someone, receiving lots of good news, a clock/time, your hate and fear towards someone, a handshake, a journey ( travel ), birds, sharing ( partnership), food, restaurant/ fast-food places, notice of correspondence from important bills, writer/ journalist, financial loans/help, being at your lowest point such as feeling trapped/tired/staying at home/unhealthy situation, a friend betrayal, older than you, foreign, lawyer/authority, being attack, an enemy, invitation in weddings or engagements, church, cemetery, thinking negative/ having negative thoughts, a large body of water such as beaches, pools, fountains etc, night, cold weather/winter, locks, fishes, physical union with someone, a mending of broken friendship/ex love, party, clubs
⋆ feel free to ask questions you didn't understand in this reading
‹𝟹 leave like or re-blog when you love it !
three
younger, foreign / leader, bad girl & boy image/personality, unexpected kiss, feeling lonely, a new lover/person, family oriented, lady and moody, soulmates connection, unexpected friendship with someone, horse/sagittarius, a good news coming, an artist/poet, student of arts, athletic body or an athlete, lack of focus in commitment, receive or give gifts, fountains, generous, wears uniform that symbolize their position at work, a friend, co-worker, a peer, taking time to heal the wounds of the past, in park, in forest, walking around and meeting someone new, having time alone, wandering in woods, in the big trees, travel, achievement, lucky breaks, successful moving up ( at work or something), the space, distance, someone is far away, delay, receiving love letters and bouquet of flowers, country side, simple life, money surrounds them, professional person, workaholic and less focus on love, a bank; good at handling finances, provides good advice in finance, a happy family, fire/burning, summer, evening, warm weather country, good judgement, social
⋆ feel free to ask questions you didn't understand in this reading
‹𝟹 leave like 🙵 re-blog when you love it !
four
authority, can be foreign, arrogant, weddings, older, negative emotions, large body of water such as beaches, pool, fountains, lake, pond etc, night, cold weather/winter, a dog, a friend, a church, a purse, money, financially stable/ wealthy, office, jewelry box, a social butterfly, enjoy clubs and socializing, likes to be busy and active, wine, travel, trips via water, clouds, heavy rains, good partner, sensual, good at financial advice, an expensive wedding of a friend, children, financially secure, fixing cars, lily, workaholic, trying their best at difficult situation, lion, a Leo sign, quite, electric, jealous and possessive, like to give great advice, streets of gold
⋆ feel free to ask questions you didn't understand in this reading
‹𝟹 leave like 🙵 re-blog when you love it !
© thedivineart. do not plagiarize any of my work, translate or repost it on other social media platform.
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alexia putella's fic recs (2/4)
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you are responsible for the content you consume‼️
✧*:·˚ hi everyone!! here is a list of all the fics that are my favs with tagged writers/authors ✧*:·˚
✧*:·˚ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each writer!! ✧*:·˚
✧*:·˚ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ✧*:·˚
✧*:·˚ also, if you'd like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ✧*:·˚
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୧ alexia ficlet by @chelscait alexia putellas x reader
-alexia where reader is like a golden retriever gf. when they go to the beach alexia likes to lay out in the sun and chill but reader always tries to make the biggest sand castle and show it off to her gf or splash around in the water. sometimes alexia has to go through extreme measures just to take readers mind off the task and pay attention to her
୧ all it takes is a bet by @onlyhereforthestories alexia putellas x reader
-you weren’t a hugger, but when you did hug someone you knew that you made an impact.
୧ monthly visits by @me-loving-woso alexia putellas x reader
-in one of your monthly visits to a children’s hospital you meet ava, she is going to change your life completely.
୧ good with kids by @wordsbyrian alexia putellas x reader
-alexia and reader go to see reader family in valencia over the holiday break.
୧ to all the ones who have not been loved before by @redhairedwolfwitch alexia putellas x reader
-hearing the door open and shut near you, you continued to stare out the window instead of looking at whoever had come to check on you.
୧ broken arm by ^ alexia putellas x reader
-you break your arm on international duty and return to your club in a cast, activating your teammates' overprotective mode, but all you want is to be next to your love.
୧ an absolute mess by ^ alexia putellas x reader
-barcelona had been awarded a corner with mapi stepping up to take it. taking position ready to jump up and header the ball if it came near to you, you glanced around at your teammates before spotting how the real madrid were scattered too, ready to defend against the set piece.
୧ prior engagements by @reminiscingtonight alexia putellas x reader
-this is a bad idea. this is a really bone-headed, captain-title-revoked worthy, bad idea.
୧ the aftermath by @me-loving-woso alexia putellas x reader
-this is part 3 of monthly visits
୧ turn of the tides by @justdontaskme alexia putellas x reader
-long awaited sequel to this fic.
୧ cuando eramos niños by @footygirl114 alexia putellas x reader
-sitting on the plane to participate in your first world cup for your country was a surreal feeling, it was like nothing you have felt before. looking out the window, watching the clouds fly by you couldn’t help but take a moment to reflect on the craziness of the past year. 
୧ alexia blurb by ^ alexia putellas x reader
-get in the fucking blanket fort alexia
୧ waiting on our world to change by @cpheath alexia putellas x reader
-fluff piece
୧ lost in the dark by ^ alexia putellas x reader
-with a soft sigh you rolled over in bed, getting more and more frustrated by the second
୧ distraction by ^ alexia putellas x reader
-being awake at 2am was quickly becoming a recurring theme and you wouldn’t have been doing it for any other reason than to see your girlfriend.
୧ good girl by ^ alexia putellas x reader | mdni, 18+
-your body thrummed with pleasure while loud moans fell from your lips. fisting the sheet underneath you, you threw your body back to meet alexia's, matching her thrusts in the same way.
୧ straight. straight. straight. straight. by @hyypnotix-writes alexia putellas x reader | 10k
-the club is a disgusting little place to be. buried right in the centre of town, with drinks so extortionately expensive, they make even the cost of your london’s monthly rent, look a little reasonable.
୧ strictly unprofessional part 9 by @magicfootballstuff alexia putellas x reader
-you’ve just landed your dream job as a photographer at fc barcelona femení. the only problem? you hooked up with the captain five years ago and haven’t seen her since. Part 9/9
previous parts here.
୧ spanish girlfriends by @sweet-babyrose alexia putellas x reader
-reader moves to spain to play for fcb after college. fhe falls hard for alexia but assumes alexia and jenni are together. 
୧ it was only a matter of time, ficlet 1 by @putellas14 alexia putellas x reader
-if you haven't read it was only a matter of time yet, it's highly encourage you to read that first.
୧ contract negotiations by @outsideratheart alexia putellas x reader
-throughout the season you have some pretty amazing games but no matter what, your favourite is always the last home game of the season.
୧ play nice by ^ alexia putellas x reader
-you knew facing alexia would be difficult but you didn’t realise that watching her win the world cup final would bring out a side of you that you would be ashamed of. seeing her win the very thing you worked so hard for filled you with envy even though you know that she deserved it. 
୧ new team mate by ^ alexia putellas x reader
-lyon was your home and everybody knew it. you chose the team over staying in the states, going to college and over your family so when it was reported that you didn’t show up for training and that you wasn’t playing in games, the whole world noticed. 
୧ history by ^ alexia putellas x reader
-there was a lot of history behind el classico and over the last couple of years the women’s game became just as highly anticipated as then mens.
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୧ useless by @gagmewitha-spork alexia putellas x reader
-mutual pining with a splash of awkward flirting and alba being absolutely done with alexia’s gay panic. plus ballon d’or fabulousness.
୧ alexia ficlet by @cee-jay-engwnt alexia putellas x reader
-spending time with ale, alba and eli on the boat
୧ she (PART 1). by @walesfootball alexia putellas x reader
-you and alexia have been friends for a few years. you’d met when you worked a summer job in barcelona’s kit department.
୧ against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part one by @thesunisatangerine  alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader
-the thing was, you didn’t plan on getting laid tonight.
୧ against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part two by ^ alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader | implied sexual content
-you weren’t sure what woke you at first but when you opened your eye.
୧ watch it by @fanfics-posts alexia putellas x reader | 1.8k
-reader is only a little pregnant and still playing matches but no one knows yet and she goes down from a bad tackle and alexia gets really worried and protective?
୧ off limits by @wileys-russo alexia putellas x leon!reader
-reader is one of the barcelona teammates sister and her and alexia start sneaking around. r sister finds out and is extremely angry for whatever reason and it forces alexia to break up with her. r gets extremely emotional and at training she starts becoming really distracted.
୧ distraction by ^ alexia putellas x reader
-alexia distracting her gf with neck kisses when she’s trying to study or work but Alexia just wants her attention
୧ lipstick stains by ^ alexia putellas x reader | fluff
-a fic for alexia where she tries to get reader to do her makeup for her for events and alexia always distracts her bc of how close they are. After putting on the lipstick alexia always kisses and leaves lipstick stains on reader and smudging it so reader has to keep reapplying it
୧ 1v1 by @desperate-gay alexia putellas x fem!reader | fluff, mostly consists of the interview, not proof read like always
-you join your uswnt teammate, kelley o’hara, in her 1v1 interview
୧ a betrayal by @patriwoso alexia putellas x reader
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୧ la princesa by @ellatoone7 alexia putellas x reader
-reader and her are married and R is pregnant and is going through pregnancy and Alexia cares for her
୧ Sometimes the Smallest Things Take Up the Most Room in Our Heart -- Part 3 by @catmiemy alexia putellas x reader
-part 1, part 2
୧ Bruises, Apologies and Cookies? by @me-loving-woso alexia putellas x reader
-you start to hook up with alexia, but then you realise you aren't meant to play against one another.
୧ humming helps pt:2 by @futbol16 mapi's little sister!reader x alexia
-reader has problems falling asleep, sometimes so she sneaks into mapis room in the middle of the night (reader does not want to bother her roommate Alexia). someday alexia finds out that reader often sneak out at night and invites reader to sleep in bed with her. Just pure fluff of alexia x reader being in love. Part 1 stay put. Part 3 mi corazón
୧ mi corazon by ^ mapi's little sister!reader x alexia | angst, fluff
-mapi’s little sister is also on the team and usually pranks the girls during games. when its her on the ground after a clash with the keeper, mapi and engen + the other girls think its a joke, alexia from the sidelines notices and even injured and on the bench is the one letting out the screaming and the one rushing to her aid and turning her on her back and saving y/n from choking. mapi feels terrible, so do others
୧ mama by @desperate-gay alexia putellas x female!reader | worried ale, stressed ale, fluff, blurb
-alexia is already becoming a protective mama
୧ bad humor by @alexiabae alexia putellas x fem!reader | mention of accident car, fluff
-in which reader goes to england to watch a match between spain against germany.
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stedesparasol · 2 months
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i'm seeing a lot of takes about how the original 2.06 makeover plotline would have been bad because stede doesn't need a makeover (especially one which makes him more masculine) but like... idk man like i haven't read the script, obviously, but i don't know why we're assuming that would even be the message of the episode, given everything we know about these writers. like, this isn't the breakfast club, the ofmd writers have a far more nuanced grasp on gender, and 'stede wears more manly clothing and suddenly ed can't resist him' doesn't make any sense as a writing choice when ed was initially attracted to stede's love of flamboyant fashion. it seems far more likely to me that there would literally be a point in the episode where ed states that stede didn't need a makeover, or that he loves him either way but misses his fancy clothes. obviously none of us know all the details (and maybe after i've broken into david's house and stolen the original script, i'll eat my words) but this kind of plotline being played straight doesn't make much sense to me, especially for a show like this. i'd like to give the writers more credit.
(i also think that the more masculine-presenting stede we got throughout this season was supposed to be him trying to become a more macho pirate because that's what he thought he should be, and honestly a conversation like that with ed where he reassured him he doesn't have to change might have been a significant moment in an arc that ultimately wasn't really addressed at all... but that's maybe that's a post for another day)
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vanillanaps · 8 months
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Still Get Jealous | Steve Rogers
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Request - Hello, I think you are a master writer and I have a drabble of blurb request only if you’re up for it though. Could you write a jealously trope for steve using the song red high heels? :> If it doesn’t inspire anything, that is okay. Thank you!
A/n - I must’ve forgotten how to write drabbles/blurb cause babyyy I got carried again lmaoo. But, unfortunately anon I didn’t find inspiration with the song you requested I still wanted give you jealousy and red high heels, hope it still fulfills you!!
Category - Steve Rogers x Reader, Angst
Warnings - Steve is a jealous asshole with a reckless mouth, reader drinks to ignore the pain
Word Count - 1.3k
♡♡♡♡
It had been approximately two weeks since Steven Grant Rogers left you alone in your apartment after he had broken up with you. In just a little over a month, it would’ve been your year anniversary with Steve. You were both happy and getting ready to take things to the next level, so it was beyond shocking when he sat you down to explain that he ‘just couldn’t do it anymore’ but you were smart enough to spot the bullshit.
Regardless, you cried. You were falling in love, hard and fast just for him to up and leave you out of the blue. But, as the second week of sulking had taken its time slowly ending, something in you snapped. You realized that you shouldn’t be home, crying and depressed about a man who clearly couldn’t give a rats ass about you.
Wiping your tears, you sat up as you searched for your phone in your tangled sheets and blanket. Once you found it, you quickly dialed the number of your favorite girl who could easily take you out of your slump, “Wanda?”
“Hey, Y/n. I’m so glad you called, you haven’t been responding to my text, I was worried.” She had answered the phone with concern in her voice.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I just,” You paused, sighing as you threw your covers off of yourself, jumping out of bed, “I’m just sick of crying over Steve you know? I want to go out, I want to have fun, I want to get back to who I was before him—and I wanna do it tonight.”
“Tonight? Y/n, are you sure you’re ready?” Wanda questioned. She was fully supportive of getting you out of the house, but she just wanted you to be sure.
“Yes, tonight. Be ready in an hour.” You told her, hanging up before she could respond, knowing she would try to mother you. Get your real feelings out as to why you were so suddenly ready to go out. But that’s not what you wanted. Even if it was for one night, you just wanted Steve off your mind.
♡♡♡♡
The music blasted loudly in the speakers surrounding the club, the atmosphere through the roof. As you took it all in, you could slowly feel the man slipping from your mind, “Let’s get a drink!” You shouted to Wanda. The two of you held hands as you shuffled to the bar, careful not to lose each other in the club, “Tequila shots please!”
“How many?”
“Just keep them coming!” You shouted to the bartender. He nodded, pouring up the shots and passing them over onto the counter.
“Are you sure, Y/n?!” Wanda asked, picking up her shot as you grabbed yours.
You nodded, “I just need one night not thinking about that—idiot!”
She nodded before holding up her glass to cheer with you, “To forgetting about that idiot!” You both laughed before clicking your glasses and taking the shots.
As promised, the bartender kept the shots coming after each time you both finished one. You felt there was no better way than drowning your sorrows than letting the liquor run through your body, mellowing you out and then letting you forget about the world surrounding you.
But no alcohol in the world could help him forget. Not as he stood in the back corner of the club, watching as you and Wanda take shots back to back. At first, it didn’t bother him. You were out with your friend, having a good time. His ears didn’t turn red from anger until he saw what you were wearing. You had his favorite number on.
A black, skimpy, body con dress that squeezes you in all the right ways, showing off your attributes that he loved. Barely covering your ass so if you were to bend over, the entire club could see all of you. You had your hair in his favorite style and not to mention that red gloss that was painted across those lips that felt like heaven to him. But that wasn’t the worst of it.
Steve made his way closer to you, not close enough to be seen but close enough for his eyes to trail those legs that used to be wrapped around him 24/7. Catching those red, sexy, strappy, five inch stilettos that he bought you. The ones he use to fuck you endlessly in. How could he be such a fucking idiot.
“Wanda, I wanna danceeee!” You slurred, all of those shots starting to take control of your mind and body. You felt good, you felt great.
“Come on!” Taking her last shot, she grabbed your hands quickly pulling you to the dance floor.
You weren’t sure when it happened or how it happened, but at one moment, you were dancing with your best friend, having the time of your life. The next, your ass was pushed up against some man’s crotch as you grinded on him. His hands trailing to any part of your body he could reach. You didn’t mind though, you deserved this. You especially didn’t mind when he nuzzled his face into your neck, pressing soft kisses into your shoulder and neck. For the moment, you were enjoying it and then—you weren’t.
“The fucks your problem dude?!” The random man yelled when you were snatched from his hold.
Your body ran cold when you pulled yourself together, just long enough to see who ruined your dance, “Steve?! What are you doing?!” He ignored you as he grabbed your hand and dragged you through the club and to the exit, “Stop it! Let me go!” He didn’t stop until he got you outside of the club, “What’s your issue?!”
“Two weeks huh? That’s all it took for you to be in the club? Dressed like a hooker and dancing like a slut?” Steve shouted. Immediately he regretted it when he saw the look on your face, but there was nothing he could do to take it back now.
You scoffed, shaking your head, “You’re a real piece of shit, you know that Steve? You broke up with ME for no reason! I cried for two weeks straight because of you! But now, since I’m in the club, with a hooker outfit that YOU bought me, by the way, I’m a slut?!”
Steve's blood was running hot and he was running of anger and jealousy, “You’re drunk, Y/n.”
“I’m not drunk!” You shouted, right before stumbling over your feet, “I’m not that drunk! I’m sober enough to realize that I was doing and to tell you to leave me the fuck alone! I’m not going to spend the rest of my life crying over you when you don't want me! And that stunt you just pulled? Let alone calling me a hooker and a slut all in the same breath? I’m glad we broke up!” You felt it, you felt the tears starting to bubble underneath your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall, “Just leave me alone! I just want to be the person I was before you ruined me, you asshole!”
“Y/n, I’m sorry.” He called out as you started to back away from him, “I broke up with you because I was scared! Everything between us was moving fast and—and I didn’t know what to do so I left!”
“I don’t care, Steve! I don’t care! It’s too late!” You shook your head, not wanting to hear any more excuses. Not wanting him to ruin your night anymore than he already had, “Go find someone else to be scared to fall in love with.”
Just then, Wanda came running out of the club, relieved to see you standing there, “Oh my god, I’ve been looking for you! I was worried.” She breathed, but halted in her tracks when she saw Steve a couple feet away, “Steve? What are you doing here?”
“Leaving, he’s leaving.” You responded for him, turning your back to him and facing Wanda, “Let’s go back inside, I need another drink.”
She nodded, wrapping her arm with yours as the two of you headed back inside without so much as a glance back at the man who realized he truly lost everything.
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romana-after-dark · 3 months
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Dead Dove December 2023 Masterlist
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Hello everyone!
So sorry it took forever to get this out, but it took me 5ever to read through these fics bc I was expresso depresso and working a lot LMFAOOOOOOO
Anyway, THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR EVERYONE ENTRIES!!! I adore you so so so so much. I am SO HAPPY with how this worked out and the amount of response! I hope to hold another event this March with @for-a-longlongtime at @triplefrontier-anniversary for the TF anniversary over at my main account @romanarose, and an event in June for pride, so if those interest you, follow my main page or this one, or @romana-updates
NOTE: I was unorganized so if I forgot someone's fic, IT WAS NOT ON PURPOSE. I know right now there discourse right now the Pedro fandom specifically, about different people not liking others or small writers or big writers ETC, but I want you to know no one was left out on purpose!
Note 2: If I put your fic here but forgot to reblog LET ME KNOW! I want to make sure everyone gets a chance to shine.
Without further ado, the fics and art!
ALL OF THESE ARE DARK SO SOME DEGREE FROM CNC, DUB CON, TO VIOLENT NON CON! HEAD WARNINGS!
The Last of Us
The Burglary by @aurorawritestoescape and @milla-frenchy: Two men break into your house and take more than just your valuables.
Fight Club by @anama-cara : Post outbreak set in the Boston QZ. You decide to go against Joel in an underground QZ fight club for some extra coin. Joel doesn't take kindly to the competition and decides to punish you in his own special way.
Deja Vu by @milla-frenchy : After a bad experience with a former boyfriend, you meet Joel who makes you trust him fully in the bedroom
Silent Night by @kewwrites : Despite the way he always acted around you, you find it hard to say no to Sarah when she invites you home to her dad's house for the holidays. Surely nothing would happen while she's with you.
Training Day by @koshkamartell : Set in AU, no outbreak. You get more than you bargained for after trying to make Joel jealous.
Code Broken by @auteurdelabre : You only wanted to pull a silly prank on your neighbor, Joel. Who could have seen it ending up like this?
The Art of Breaking by @corazondebeskar-reads : Your meeting is happenstance, but everything that follows? Well, that’s all Joel. He just knows you’re going to be his perfect little toy. He just has to show you how.
Cry Harder by @romana-after-dark : While keeping you captive, Joel's sex drive is insatiable, and the sex seemed to be never ending. You tried to warm him you needed to use the bathroom... he didn't listen.
Nightmare Before Christmas by @katiexpunk : As an escort, you’ve found yourself in some pretty fucked up situations before. Years of experience have taught you to navigate such situations with a combination of tact and assertiveness. Most of the time the men who exude an air of sleaze shrivel back into the corner, embarrassed and limp dicked.  Most of the time.  Tonight is not one of those times.
Locket by @toxicanonymity : Dark!Reader dugs her friends hot dad Joel
Run, Rabbit by @justagalwhowrites : It was just over a year after the world ended that you were captured by Joel and Tommy Miller. They're harsh, they're cold and they're killers. But, as a nurse, you're a valuable person to have around and they're not the worst thing wandering the wasteland that was the United States. And there might be more to these men than meets the eye.
Godless by @javier-penas-wifexx420 : You work at a brothel that operates above a saloon in your town. Joel is the leader of a group of outlaws that come periodically to collect payment and wreak havoc. One visit, you catch Joel’s eye and he decides he has to have you.
Across the Spiderverse
After Dark by @runa-falls : He wants you. and he knows you need him.
Triple Frontier
Deep Seeded Issues by @djarinmuse: Summary: At an N.A (narcotics anonymous) meeting you recall a dark and embarrassing memory, not knowing the connection in the room.
My Blood Would Teach Me How to Love by @winniethewife : Santi finds you self harming, blood kink ensues.
Room's on Fire by @romana-after-dark : Cult AU, Pope, Frankie, Will and Ben are cult leaders and need a virgin to breed who will birth the savior: the Madonna. Initially honored to find redemption, the Madonna has to learn how to navigate all four men and a circle of other people at the house.
Goodnight, Princess by @melodygatesauthor : Your dad's best friend accidentally discovers that you're a sex worker. He tries to let it go, but it eats away at him until things go way too far.
The Card Counter
Bad Bet by @boredzillenial and art by @lunar-ghoulie4art : William beats you in a poker tournament, but you just can’t accept defeat, not yet…
Getting Whats Mine by @winniethewife
Lightening Face
Puppy by @darkuselesssomebody : In which the reader is a manipulative bitch - and basil snaps because of it
Mojave
Cruel Intentions by @hon3yboy : You're on a soul seeking journey, just another young, pretty, thing. All alone and stranded in the desert, ripe for the picking and ol' Jack has his eyes set on you.
Moon Kight
Death to Dignity by @juneknight : An intruder (Marc) breaks in to your apartment.
*************
I cannot thank you enough for your support and interaction for htis series!!!!! I had SUCH a good time reading all these, you are all so talented!!!
I hope to do more events soon as it's really helped me make some friends and get to know people here!!!!
Please remember to reblog these authors, and if you're tagged here, be sure to check out more! Lots of great content here!
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