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#brooklyn 99 quotes
Amy: You don’t think I can fight because I’m a girl!
Jake: I don’t think you can fight because you’re wearing a wedding dress. For what it’s worth, I don’t think Charles could fight in that dress either.
Charles: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.
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Amy: What would you do if you found out you could live forever?
Jake: I'd eat ice-cream for breakfast.
Amy: Really?
Jake: And lunch of course!
Amy: Amazing...
Jake: Thank you.
Amy: That wasn't a compliment
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aka Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes as writing prompts

  1. “I’m just holding a road flare, stepping on some oatmeal, just doing me.”
  2. “I thought he was faking it. I wanted to splash the lies out of him.”
  3. “I’d make an amazing prostitute.”
  4. “But watching Oprah have lunch with her strong female friends has taught me that it’s okay to forgive.
  5. “It’s bonk city in here!”
  6. “Oh that’s a relief. I feel so much safer now.”
  7. “To Rhianna, because I love Rhianna.”
  8. “That moustache was era-appropriate.”
  9. “Arg, I can’t do this to my mouth. She’s the love of my life.”
  10. “I’m not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit.”
  11. “He could be in Canada by now. There’s so many forests up there. That country is one giant hiding place.”
  12. “Look, I can’t help it if my life is literally a Step Up movie.”
  13. “Imagine that wrapped around you.”
  14. “Ha. Good one, Captain. You can’t ‘wash’ a car.”
  15. “This is who you want to spend the rest of your life with?”
  16. “I’ve said ‘excuse me’ this morning more than I have in my entire life. Twice!”
  17. “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I have to make urines in the toilets.”
  18. “As requested, you will be the deuce. Although, I still think you should reconsider that codename.”
  19. “School is cool. That’s why it rhymes.”
  20. “Leave me a voice-mail. I won’t check it ‘cause it’s not 1993.”
  21. “I was raised on disco.”   
  22. “I wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing. What brings you here?”
  23. “Now let’s go look for bad kids who went to sub-par pre-schools.”
  24. “Yeah, I hear you. My dog has taken over my favorite chair. It’s like, how did it all slip away?”
  25. “I’m not saying murder. Just talk to her like a normal person.”
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<Agents of shield Incorrect quote>

(imagine Jemma planned the perfect second wedding that’s risking to be ruined)

Jemma: I planned everything so perfectly, and now it’s all falling apart.

Fitz: No, it isn’t. Take a deep breath. All right, we got this. Mack, Elena, will you please take this veil to a dry cleaner. And if they won’t do a rush job, make them. Use force.

Mack: I mean, we’re not gonna abuse our power…

Fitz: Of course not. We’re good agents. I was just exaggerating… Yoyo, I was not exaggerating.

Elena: Great.

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Raven: It’s the most fun day of the year. Something you wouldn’t understand because you’re not programmed to feel joy.

ALIE: Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.


Lexa: I’ve only said I love you to three people. My mom, my dad and my dying grandpa. And one of those I regret.

Clarke: Which one?

Lexa: Grandpa. He beat cancer so I now I look like an idiot.


Jasper: So, I’m going to grab a healthy breakfast.

Clarke: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?

Jasper: Breakfast burrito, but yeah.

Clarke: I pity your dentist.

Jasper: Joke’s on you. I don’t have a dentist.


Bellamy: And our second option is surveillance footage of Detective Clarke Griffin soliciting drugs using perfect grammar.

Clarke: It’s not that weird to say, “may I have some cocaine?”

Bellamy: It is.


Raven: It’s Raven’s phone. Leave me a voice-mail. I won’t check it ‘cause it’s not 1993.


Raven: Right, that’s the guy you said the lame stuff about. Like he’s a good listener.

Clarke: Sorry, what do you look for in a guy?

Raven: Real stuff, like the shape of his ass.


Jasper: Hello good sir, I would like your finest bottle of wine, please.

Niylah: That will be $1,600.

Jasper: Great, I’d like your $8-Est bottle of wine, please.


Miller: Okay, but I thought since you were in charge, maybe I could be your right hand man? Your Tinker Bell?

Bellamy: Tinker Bell?

Miller: Let me tell you something about Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell is a loyal lieutenant and a real thorn in the side of Captain Hook.


Season 1

Bellamy: Clarke. Good to see you. But if you’re here, who’s guarding Hades?


Bellamy: He makes me feel so small!

Kane: Well, who cares what he thinks? You’re a police sergeant! You’re a grown man! Now take your nap. And if I see the lights on in here, I’m going to be very disappointed in you.


Raven: I can’t believe this is one of the last things I’m ever gonna see.

Clarke: Actually, with Anthrax the last things you’ll see will be doctor, blood, doctor, pus, scab, nothing.


Clarke: Blake!

Bellamy: Oh no, Blake in B-flat. You’re disappointed.


Bellamy: Octavia. Octavia. Octavia, I screwed up, big time.

Octavia: Bellamy, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

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*Lexa running in late to meet Clarke and their friends, looking like a total mess*

Lexa (to Clarke): I went home from your place to shower, and I’m so tired that I fell asleep while shaving my legs!

Clarke: But we went to bed so early… Property Brothers was over at 10.

Clarke (louder): I mean… sex!

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Lexa: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Raven: Yes.

Lexa: I was hula hooping. Clarke and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.

Raven: Oh, my God.

Lexa: I’ve mastered all the moves. [Shows photos on phone] The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle.

Raven: Why are you telling me this?

Lexa: Because no one will ever believe you. [Deletes photos from phone]

Raven: You sick son of a bitch.

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