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#brooklyn nine nine quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine — Season 1  {Sentence Starters}

  • “This is so good I hate it!“
  • “You can’t handle the me!“
  • “And now I’m inside your head.“
  • “This whole place reeks of bacon.“
  • “Do you see me as a father figure?”
  • “Oh, I thought you were listing things.“
  • “Because no-one… will ever believe you.“
  • “Gah, I should’ve guessed that. He’s good!”
  • “All right, there’s the robot I fell in love with.“
  • “I’m sorry. I’m uncomfortable with emotions.“ 
  • “It’s got everything I like. Gratuitous violence…“
  • “And this won’t interfere with you doing your job?“
  • “Fine, abandon me! I don’t want you here anyway.”
  • “And the best part is, none of you could catch me.“
  • “So cancel your plans. We’re here until this is over.“
  • “Wow, looks like he hates you even more than me.“
  • “Be more articulate when you speak to the children.”
  • “I gotta be honest, I’m pretty disappointed right now.“
  • “I’m gonna shake it outta your pockets. Turn around.“ 
  • “Get rid of the mouse, and get your act together. Now.“
  • “I’m considering it. I’m interested. I agree to participate.“
  • “God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever.“
  • “We have a good relationship. We’re on the same page.“
  • “Oh, come on, you guys! That happened four years ago!“
  • “Only question is… how do you hurt your arm by smiling?”
  • “I know you got a secret stash of food hidden somewhere.“
  • “Mm, it was kind of a last-minute invite. Just stirring the pot.”
  • “The next time I see you I’d like you to be wearing a necktie.“
  • “Hello, good sir, I would like your finest bottle of wine, please.“
  • “Yeah, but that caveman kind of had it coming, don’t you think?“
  • “All right, I see what you’re trying to do, but it’s not gonna work.“
  • “Testament to what can be achieved when you dress appropriately.“
  • “How did you manage to step on both of my feet at the same time?”
  • “Forget your ex, have meaningless sex. It rhymes because it’s true.“
  • “I kinda wish something could happen, between us, romantic styles.“
  • “Oh, no, not at all. My speech did not inspire them. So I bribed them.“
  • “That’s exactly how you lose in chess. Have you ever played the game?”
  • “I know you’re manipulating me… but I love it, and I will tell you anything.“
  • “Look, I’m really sorry that we ruined your party. I’d love to make it up to you.“
  • “I swear, these perps are so stupid. I’d make a better criminal than any of ‘em.“
  • “No. If anything, I see you as a bother figure, 'cause you’re always bothering me!“
  • “No, that’s not an older woman; that’s an old woman! That’s someone’s grandma!“
  • “And when this is over, I’m gonna find you, and I’m gonna break those little fingers.“
  • “I’m fairly certain you would be caught. No, scratch that. I’m 100% sure you’d be caught.“
  • “So you dragged us over here, pretended to talk, and then snuck out the basement. Am I right?“
  • “All right, I’ll just act like you… Say something so I can get the cadence of your voice down.“
  • “I don’t know why you wanna spend the entire weekend at work, but I’m going home to my family.“
  • “Now don’t let me interrupt, you were describing what kind of person I’m going to be. I’d like you to finish.“
  • “I appealed to their sense of teamwork and camaraderie with a rousing speech that would put Shakespeare to shame.”
  • “I don’t know what’s gonna happen on this assignment, and if something bad goes down, I think I’d be pissed at myself if I didn’t say this.”
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Zabdiel : Joel, keep an eye on Chris. I’m worried he’ll do something stupid and get punched in the face for it.

Joel : Okay, don’t worry. I’d love to see him get punched in the face, I’ll keep my-

Zabdiel : Try again.

Joel :

Zabdiel :

Joel : Fine!

Joel : I guess I’ll keep him from actually getting punched in the face.

11 notes · See All

I wanna talk about this scene where Jake is saying he’s fine when the EMT Craig bandages his wound after being asked how is he doing. Then he asks him to leave him with Amy and that’s when Jake says that.

It seems that Jake always wants to feel cool in front of everyone, trying top please and perfect things while looking awesome doing them. When he was bandaged, he tried to look tough like, ‘I just got shot, I am super cool with my reaction’. However, when he was left alone with Amy, he immidately told her how painful it actually was and then adds he just didn’t want to seems weak in front of the EMT Craig.

I think it is touching how he feels comfortable near Amy, enough to show her that he’s not always cool and awesome at everything. Like, he just got shot in the leg, and Amy was the only one he let her see him in pain.

I just think it is so sweet and I absolutely adore their relationship.

275 notes · See All

Harry Potter character as Brooklyn Nine-Nine quotes

Harry : I wasn’t hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That’s where the blood’s supposed to be

Hermione : There’s a typo in that crossword puzzle !

Ron : “So, I’m going to grab a healthy breakfast.”

“Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?”

“Breakfast burrito, but yeah.”

“I pity your dentist.”

“Joke’s on you. I don’t have a dentist.”

Draco : Yeah, it’s very embarrassing having feelings.

Pansy : My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me

Fred : The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts. So I’m incorporating Emoji into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.

Luna : It’s not that weird to say, “may I have some cocaine?”

Neville : “I screwed up, big time.”

“Neville, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.”

Ginny : So, what is this? Casual, serious? I need to know how to make fun of you.

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Terry: Terry hates bugs. Too many eyes and legs.
Holt: Would you still hate bugs if I told you that there were thousands of tiny mites that live in your eyebrows and that keep them from being weighed down by oils?
Terry: Yes!
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  • “Nothing’s made to be broken.” “Uh, pinatas.” “Glow sticks.” “Karate boards.” “Spaghetti when you have a small pot.” “Rules.”
  • “I was lightly stabbed.”
  • “Is the equipment secure?” “Check.” “Weapon loaded.” “Check.” “Did you have breakfast?” “What? That’s not on the checklist.” “I added it because I care about you.” “No, I did not have breakfast.” “Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.” “Hey, there’s little chocolate chips in this!” “Yeah, I’m not an idiot, I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.”
  • “The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts, so I’m incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.“
  • “I am WAY too sleep deprived to deal with your negativity right now
  • “Ooh, someone’s in trouble! It’s me, I don’t know why I did that.”
  • “If anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.”
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Annabeth: Rejected?! I've never been rejected from anything.
Percy: Me neither. Oops, did you say rejected or ejected? I've been rejected a lot.
Annabeth: I don't understand. My application was so good.
Percy: You know what, I've also been ejected. Flume ride, Topeka, Kansas.
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[Jake and Rosa first day at the academy, Rosa wears all black as usual and Jakes wears a Die Hard tshirt, jeans and snickers (of course)]

Rosa: [to someone who’s trying to sit next to her and start a conversation] Don’t even think about it

Jake: this is the one I want as my friend. Gonna be super touchy and invaide her personal space untill she likes me.

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