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A BTS/Kim Namjoon Fanfiction

Summary: The minute he laid eyes on her he knew she was the one. But love is a battle of the mind and the heart, and when the voices in your head start winning, how can your heart possibly compete with a choice that consumed you before the very start…

Type: Angst/Love

Disclaimer: This story contains strong themes. Should a chapter be potentially triggering, it will be stated beforehand. !!Its a long one 0.0. This chapter contains subtle references to abusive relationships and eating disorders!!.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9


Chapter 10

You didn’t think you’d ever felt more rested in your whole life.

The minute consciousness pulls at your bones you could feel the revitalised energy coursing through your veins, feel the blood pumping through your body like a song, the birds outside the window accompanying the tune of insistent life.

Its only when you go to stretch that you realise you weren’t alone in the bed, the memories from the night before rushing to the forefront of your mind.

‘Good Morning, Beautiful.’

You cant help but grin at his tired mutter, the words barely managing to escape his lips before he’s curling himself around you that little bit more, and proceeding to fall straight back to sleep, a gentle snore adorably proving this point.

Watching him peacefully sleep has your stomach feeling full, contentment resonating from your chest. But its just as you’re clutching yourself closer to him, pulling your arms in to tuck yourself into his chest as his own subconsciously curl around you, that the touch of your arms against your bare chest causes the realization that you were in only your underwear to hit you. Along with all the other memories from the night before.

The nausea starts immediately, eyes watering as you try desperately to swallow it down, to think about something else other than all the take out food you’d eaten, but despite how calming Namjoon’s presence was where it was curled around you, the overwhelming consciousness that you were wearing little to nothing, has you squirming out of his hold and sliding to the edge of the bed, eyes immediately going to the cupboards along the far wall that had cuffs of sleeves and trousers poking out of them in an almost cruel taunt.

You don’t notice how much noise you’re making as you lunge for the wardrobe doors, unaware of the sleepy, slightly confused, gaze watching you as you immediately begin rooting through the garments to find a long enough shirt that you could wear to cover yourself up, feeling your chest relax once you find the perfect long sleeved checked flannel, sliding it over your head quickly and sighing in relief when the hem touches your knees.

‘Were you cold, beautiful?’

His voice suddenly spilling into the air shocks you out of your moment of solace, causing you to whip your head up to look at him, a deer caught in the headlights expression painfully evident on your face even to yourself, and you watch as he instantly notes the fear in the look, the way he sits up more as a frown pulls at his brow causing mild panic to begin a slow roll in your stomach.

‘Uh…yeah…yeah, sorry to wake you.’ You murmur, shrugging out of the uncomfortable aura trying to keep you in its clutches, the second you begin making your way back towards him feeling the darkness subside, and you smile softly as you crawl back onto the bed beside him, leaning over to touch a gentle kiss to his lips, and watching as the gesture disperses some of the concern on his face.

‘Are you sure you’ll be warm enough with that? I can find you a jumper and some more blankets if you need-‘

‘This will be just fine, Joonie.’ You cut him off quietly, becoming distracted by the sight of the blue-green check pattern against his skin where your hand was laid on his chest, and you cant help but imagine him wearing it, chest swelling slightly once again with the pleasing thought.


You snuggle back into him as he appears to drop it, humming contentedly as he relaxes back into the pillows with you, arms instinctively going around you as you lay your cheek against his chest, right under his chin. The feel of his hands smoothing over your shoulders, has a deep peace seeping into you, relaxation pulling you back towards the depths of sleep, but just as you go to accept its embrace, you feel Namjoon’s fingers stop on your shoulder and a dark foreboding enters you before he even has a chance to speak.

‘How did you get this bruise?’

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Guys I’m reading the fucking best and worst fanfic right now. I can’t even explain it but if you like kpop and you also like torturing yourself, I can link y'all to it👍👍

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