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#bts kim namjoon fanfiction
joonsmagicshop · 29 days
Text
Professor Rapline
Summary: Mr. Kim is your English Literature and Poetry teacher and while he is known for being a strict teacher is he is also hot. So incredibly hot! So when he gives you an outlet for all your exam stress how can you possibly say no? Little do you realize it wont be just him you are getting pleasure from
Paring: Namjoon/Reader focused! Eventually Yoongi/Reader Hobi/Reader
Word Count: 15K
Rating: M/18+ because smut
Tags: A/U, Professor/student relationship,slow burn, flirting, pet names, Joon calls her princess Yoongi calls her Kitten, Hobi calls her baby, dirty talk, spanking, hand jobs, blow jobs, cum licking, eating out, sex, so much sex, basically she gets fucked three times in one night, choking, face fucking, power dynamics, dry humping.
Authors Note: I was possessed by a horny demon when I wrote this. This idea has been stuck in my head for months and once I started writing I didn't want to stop. This is a work of fiction and I do not recommend fucking your professors.
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No one warned you about Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi, and Jung Hoesok.
But then again, you doubted you would have believed them if they did.
It was the last semester before your time at University would be over for good, and honestly, you couldn’t wait. You were over the long nights studying, the assignments that had to be handed in on time or you would lose marks, and the group projects that were just as pointless as they were frustrating.
You had done everything you wanted to do, you went to the parties, kissed random strangers in bathrooms, and even hooked up with a few. You had a boyfriend for three months and decided it was better for you to be single and now you were ready to graduate and move on with your life.
Which found you sitting in the Academic Adviser’s office nervously shifting in your chair as you watched her go through your file. The office was painted a soft blue color and the heater was pumping out hot air on blast making the whole space dry and stuffy. As you wait, you unwound your scarf from your neck and placed it on your lap.
Her eyes met yours and she smiled softly at you.
“Well Miss Y/L/N it seems that you have a bright shining future that’s for sure. You have a wonderful file here and honors too, you must be proud.” She said beaming at you as you crossed your legs nervously and unzipped your coat.
You understood that it was the dead of winter outside but did it have to be so incredibly stuffy in here?
“Thank you. So I’m on track to graduate? Everything looks good?” You ask leaning forward in the chair.
“Well here’s the thing…” She trails off as she pushes her glasses back on her nose and scans the computer again.
Your heart drops.
“As I said bright and shining future for sure but you are missing just one credit. If you are unable to fit another class in this semester you would be unable to graduate.” She says with a frown as you see her eyes scan the computer to double check as your heart drops down to your boots.
There is no way.
You spent four years busting your butt, there was no way you were going to stay any longer than you had to.
“I can fit another class in! Which class do I need?” You ask in a panic as she clicks some more on the mouse and you watch her concentrate on the screen.
“Well, the good news is you just need one more elective class. The bad news is most of them are filled up…well. Except…” Her voice trails off again as you squirm in your seat, panic taking over.
“Whatever it is I’ll take it!” You respond eagerly.
“Miss Y/L/N it’s English literature and poetry with Mr. Kim.” She says in a serious tone as her eyes finally leave her monitor to look at you.
“Okay fine sign me up!” You say as you lean so far forward you are almost pushed right against her desk.
“Miss Y/L/N I understand you want to graduate on time but you must know. His class is notoriously known for being… quite difficult. I never want to slander a teacher but Mr Kim is very serious about his job and a lot of students come to me trying to drop his class.” She says staring at you with a serious look on her face.
You had no idea who Mr Kim was. The campus was so big you hardly knew where half the rooms were let alone half the teachers. But you had to graduate on time. You were not about to spend more money to have to go back to school for one elective course. There was just no way.
“That’s fine sign me up.” You say boldly as she frowns at you and types away on her computer. Well-manicured nails fly along the keyboard.
“Only if you are sure, you can always change your mind.” She says as you nod and she clicks something, you assume it’s to enroll you into his class.
"Okay, you are set. The class is on Wednesday nights at six pm. His classroom is 0994B which is in the basement.” She says as she pushes her glasses off her face to stare at you again.
“If you have any trouble at all please let me know.” She says as you nod and gather your things. You wrap your scarf around your neck and wave goodbye, leaving the stuffy office to head to the textbook shop to grab your book, having no idea what you just agreed to.
.........................
Two days later you found yourself searching the basement for the classroom you are looking for. While the University is beautiful with a rich history the basement is spooky and dark, especially in January when the nights are long and you rarely get sunlight.
Just as you approach the door you see a paper taped to it and you frown.
Basement heater is broken. Mr Kim’s class moved to 0294.
You let out a frustrated sigh and begin to ascend the stairs, hiking your messenger bag up on your shoulder as you climb.
The second floor is much nicer than the basement and you luckily find the new classroom with ease. You slip inside and take stock of the students. The lecture hall is large and set up like a theater with a podium at the front and the seats ascending upwards. You see most of the front rows are already taken with giggling girls.
You made your way to the back and plopped your things down in a seat slightly to the right of where the empty podium sat. You pulled out your phone to make sure it was on silent and as you took out your textbook and pens you couldn’t help but overhear the girls in front of you talking.
“That’s not a reason to take this class! I’m not carrying you though because you only signed up for this class because Mr. Kim is hot.” A blonde girl teased her friend as her friend shushed her and giggled.
“Come on that’s why people try and survive his class. He’s such a hardass but so nice to look at it makes up for it!” Her friend teased as both girls dissolved into giggles.
You wondered what the hell they were talking about. Mr Kim was hot? You had many English teachers throughout your years and they all were mostly the same type of person. Lanky, nerdy, either a tortured poet or a Shakespeare lover. You never pictured your teacher to be attractive at all and now thoughts of what he could look like clouded your mind.
But it didn’t take long for you to find out.
The second the door opened the entire class fell silent.
No one warned you about Mr. Kim.
But you’re sure if they did you wouldn’t believe them
Hell, you didn’t believe the girls who were sitting in front of you until you saw it with your own two eyes.
He was tall and handsome with blonde hair slicked back from his forehead and eyes narrowed as he looked through the crowd of students. When his eyes met yours you shivered but he didn’t linger as he made long strides towards the podium and set his brown briefcase down on the floor.
He took out a small laptop and set it up as you watched him in fascination. He was no doubt handsome and even though he had not spoken a word he had already commanded the class to be quiet.
It was quite impressive.
He took his time fiddling with the laptop as the class stayed deathly quiet. Once he got everything hooked up and the projector running he finally addressed the class.
“Hi I’m Mr Kim and I’ll be teaching you English lit and poetry.”
And then he smiled
When he smiled two beautiful dimples appeared on his cheeks and you knew you were undeniably screwed.
Not only was his class notorious for being difficult, but it also didn’t help he was drop-dead gorgeous.
Well, shit.
Your small crush on Mr. Kim lasted well in February. As the ground started to thaw and the days were very slowly becoming longer you spent most of your time buried in a book trying not to drown in your coursework.
While Mr. Kim was in fact the hottest man you had ever seen, the rumors were true and he was also a hardass about his subject.
By the second week, twelve people had dropped his class. He didn’t seem to mind or even acknowledge it, he just kept teaching.
By the time the first month was over twenty people had left and the class had once again been moved. This time to a small lecture hall on the same floor that was a lot more cozy and less intimidating than the original one.
You hardly noticed how many people dropped the class come March as midterm exams were approaching and you were too worried about your grades and future to worry about anyone else.
Your crush on Mr. Kim even took a backseat as you spent most of your time in the library, wistfully staring out the window at the sunny days wishing you were outside instead of in a stuffy old library going over poems written by people who had passed away ages ago.
In the last week of March, you got a break. Mr. Kim was teaching about Robert Frost and going over the poem “Nothing Gold Can Stay.” You were lucky enough to study that poem in high school so you sneakily took out your psychology homework and began to work on that, nodding and making occasional eye contact with Mr. Kim so he thought you were paying attention.
Lucky for you, you had finished most of the essay during Mr. Kim’s lecture. Unlucky for you class had ended five minutes ago and everyone had left the lecture hall, leaving you sitting there alone typing while Mr. Kim packed up his stuff.
You were so absorbed in your work you didn’t notice his hard gaze on you, how his eyebrow quirked when he saw how concentrated you were, and how he let out a low sigh as he made his way up the steps to approach you.
You did however notice when he was about two feet away from you and you gasped and slammed your laptop lid shut in alarm
“Miss Y/N.” He said smoothly as he took a seat in the aisle opposite yours and smiled softly at you.
You felt a blush appear on your cheeks as you hastily tried to come up with an excuse.
“Please Y/N tell me what you were working on. I know you aren’t typing that much about Robert Frost.” He teases as he stretches out his legs and you can see his slacks stretch under the pressure of his thick thighs.
“I-Mr. Kim, I’m so sorry. I…well I studied Robert Frost in high school and I have this big psychology essay that is due and I just wanted to get a head start on it.” You admit shyly as you shove your laptop in your messenger bag and gather your things.
You stand up to leave but a strong hand stops you.
“My class and Psych? I’m impressed.” He says as his hand leaves your arm but you can still feel the heat from where he touched you, your heart pounding in your chest.
“Well, I… yeah I need Phych and I needed one more class to graduate so I picked yours.” You admitted as you stood there in front of him.
“And the Academic advisor let you do this? Take both?” He asks as he remains seated and gestures to the chair you vacated. Knowing he wasn’t going to kick you out of his class you graciously sat down, placing your bag on the floor.
“I…well I kind of didn’t give her a choice. I don’t want to come back for a year to take one course.” You admit.
He smiles at you, dimples present and you feel pleasure bloom in your chest.
“That’s very admirable of you. I’m sure she warned you about me and my class and you still decided to go for it? I like that.” He says.
You nod not sure of what to say.
“What do you want to be when you get out of here? What are your goals?” He asks you breaking the silence.
“I want to be a high school teacher. Educate the future generations.” You say shyly as his smile grows bigger.
You smile back at him.
“Ah. Very admirable. A girl after my own heart.” He teases and you feel yourself blush at his praise.
You both lapse into silence and you feel your heart hammer against your chest. He is staring at you softly and you slowly reach out to play with the hem of your skirt, hands desperate to do something so you don’t reach out for him.
“I’m sorry for keeping you late Sir. I should let you go.” You say as you gather your things and almost miss the way his Adam’s apple bobs when you call him sir.
You don’t waste any time and make your way down the stairs, leaving Mr. Kim still in the seat watching you go.
“Y/N?” He calls back for you as you stop and turn to face him. He looks so nonchalant sitting there, and so incredibly handsome you bite your lip to stop yourself from saying something stupid.
“I'll speak to Mr. Min about your caseload and see if he can ease off a bit. He can be kind of a hardass.” He says as he stands up and stretches and you can’t help but sneak a peak when his cream-colored sweater rises to show a flash of taunt skin.
Fuck.
“Oh, Mr. Kim you don’t have to it’s okay.” You say flushed at his generosity as he makes his way towards you to gather his things.
“It’s okay I have to talk to him about something anyway. I won’t mention your name I’ll just tell him to lay off a bit.” He assures you as you nod.
You wish him a good night and make your way out of the classroom. Your hands grip the straps of your messenger bag tightly as you hurry across campus to your car. By the time you get into your car, you are sure the flush on your face is gone, but the butterflies in your stomach are fluttering around like crazy.
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April.
The dreaded month of April.
April was prep for exam season and you were once again buried in your books. Spring was finally here and when it wasn’t raining buckets you spent your time outside, spreading your books on the picnic tables as you got to work catching up on things you had to finish before exams.
After your essay for Mr. Min, his class did seem to get easier. You never asked Mr. Kim about it, instead, you pretended to be oblivious about the whole thing though you did have a feeling a conversation was had because you noticed Mr. Min staring at you more than usual as he taught.
Every free hour was spent studying or revising or writing essays so you hardly had time to think of that day with Mr. Kim. How gorgeous he looked sitting across from you, and how his cream-colored sweater fit his body perfectly and showed off his sculpted chest and broad shoulders.
You only let these thoughts run ramped late at night, when the stress of the day caught up to you and you wondered what would happen if he did lean in and kiss you. How soft his full lips would feel against yours. Would he be soft with you or would he be in control and command you just as he did that first day when he walked into the room?
Often times you would let your hand wander into your underwear and you would circle your clit. Imagining it was his strong deft fingers instead of your own. You would imagine him pinning you against the wooden podium and pulling down your pants to finger you.
How his huge body would cage you in and how he would whisper dirty things in your ear, his voice low and gruff as he would prep you to take his cock.
Most times you could cum around your fingers thinking of him. Wondering what it would be like to have someone as tall and handsome as Mr. Kim fucking you.
The weather was getting even warmer and your stress was at an all-time high. At this point, you lived off coffee and would often take it to class with you as you worked.
Mr. Kim was going over the structure of your final exam and as much as you tried you were having a hard time keeping your eyes open. You had slept a total of three hours last night and his late-night classes were getting to you.
You fought your body as much as you could. Trying to take notes, trying to focus but before you knew it your eyes were shut and you were snoozing softly on your textbook, face smushed cutely into the cover.
Unbeknown to you Mr. Kim had been keeping a close eye on you since your private conversation and he caught you sleeping the moment your head rested on the textbook. He bit back a smile as he continued to address the class.
You had slept for half an hour. You were awoken by a strong hand lightly shaking your arm and you looked up to see Mr. Kim staring down at you, his lips curved in a smile as you blushed with embarrassment.
“Oh my god Mr. Kim I’m so sorry I just- I don’t even know what to say this is so embarrassing and I missed most of what you said about the exam and oh my god I can’t believe I fell asleep in class what’s wrong with me!” You babbled on as you frantically shoved all your stuff in your bag and avoided eye contact with him.
You were sure he was beyond mad. A student falling asleep in his class is super disrespectful.
“Y/N deep breaths please, I don’t want you hyperventilating in my class.” He teases you with a smile as you freeze and turn to look at him.
“I am so sorry!” You cry out as you bury your face in your hands and stare at the floor.
“It’s okay really.” He says as his hands circle your wrist to pry your hands away from your red face.
His big hands engulf your wrists and you let out a shaky breath as your mind goes haywire at his soft touches.
He is staring at you with concern written all over his face and you look around, once again the classroom is empty except for the two of you.
“It’s not Mr. Min this time I swear! It’s just exams and revisions and I want to keep my honor roll so I have to work hard I haven’t been sleeping much because of all the work and I’m so so sorry!” You blurt out eyes shifting from his sharp eyes to his plush lips that are still drawn up into a smile.
He catches you staring and cocks an eyebrow
You were really in trouble now.
“Y/N you have big dreams and it’s amazing how much you are taking on. Honestly when you told me your plan and the courses you are taking I was and am very impressed. You should be proud of yourself.” He says lowly. You glance down to see his hands are still holding your wrists steady and you wonder if he can feel your heartbeat pounding against your skin.
“Thank you.” You whisper out hearing your voice echo in the empty room.
“Being an almost University graduate can be stressful and challenging.” He starts as his thumb caresses your wrist and up into your palm.
You can’t help it, you bite your lip in anticipation as his fingers work your skin soothing you but also making your heart beat faster.
“It really is. I just want to graduate and be done.” You admit shyly as his sharp eyes are locked on yours.
“I totally understand that. I remember those days. I lived off coffee and ramen.” He admits standing up from his crouch to sit on the chair right next to yours, his thick thighs bumping against your knee as he lets go of your hands to get situated.
“Mind you I wasn’t trusted in the kitchen so my roommates did most of the ramen cooking.” He teases as you giggle.
He runs a hand through his hair and pushes it back from his forehead. The tension in the room is thick and you can’t stop staring at his lips, your mind flashing to two nights ago when you came around your fingers moaning his name.
He clasps his fingers together on the table and your eyes dart down to them. He grins when he catches you staring and you blush further.
“I guess what I want to say is it’s important to study hard but also important to take breaks when you need to. Stress can do major damage to the body.” Mr. Kim advises as you nod wordlessly at him.
“What do you do for fun? That’s not schoolwork? Do you have an outlet of some kind?” He asks softly.
You were sure it was wildly inappropriate to tell him that you orgasm to relieve stress so instead you tell him a little about yourself and your life.
How your parents live a ten-minute drive from the University so you never felt the need to stay on campus. How you like to take your dog on walks when the weather is nice and how he wears a little raincoat on days when it drizzles. You tell him about your friends and how you try to get together for movie nights but you all are so swamped with school you haven’t had time.
He listens intently and soon enough you realize you are blabbing so you shut up much to his dismay.
“You sound like you have good hobbies though maybe a balancing problem. You need to work hard but also play hard too. This is University after all that’s why people party so much to get rid of all the stress from teachers like me.” He says with a laugh as you laugh along beside him.
You explain how you did go to the parties in your first year but grew out of them and he nods along in understanding.
“I get that. And with being so close to the end I get you want to rush through and graduate to get it over with but you have to find outlets to relieve all the stress. Once you get into the workforce you’ll still have this stress and even though I’ll let it slide you fell asleep in my class the workforce won’t be so gracious.”
You nod along at his words as he adjusts himself in the seat, his knee bumping yours and sending your heart racing once more.
“I am truly sorry Mr. Kim I have never fallen asleep in a class before in my life.” You admit to him, brushing your hair behind your ears.
“Ah, so I must have been boring you.” He jests which has you protesting right away.
“No not at all! I would never think that of you!”
He smiles at your words and you push your knee into his as silent reassurance.
His eyes dart down to your lips and back up again and you smirk at him.
“So what you need to do is find an outlet for all that stress and built-up frustration. Some people choose to drink, but I think you might be over that, some people choose to lift weights or run. But there are…other options you know.” He says letting his voice dip dangerously low and you stare at him in shock when he winks at you.
Is he suggesting what you think he is suggesting?
Because if he is?
How the hell do you even say no to that?!
“I-uh. I’m not sure what you mean….sir.” You say putting on your best sultry voice and watching as a slow smirk appears on his face.
So he does mean what you think he means.
Well….wow.
“You know a lot of people have….experiences in University. Great time to get to know yourself and what you want…and like.” He hints as you push your knee boldly into his and his smirk grows wider.
The tension in the room is palatable at this point and you can almost feel the want radiating off both of your bodies.
You don’t want this flirting to end so you tease him some more, seeing how far you can take it.
“Oh, I already went through all that. Too bad University boys half the time don’t know what they are doing. Such a shame I have to do it myself.”
His eyes widen and his tongue darts out to lick at his dry lips. You wink back at him and feel him once again push his knee into yours with more force.
Your body is on fire when you lean in closer to him, letting his cologne cloud your senses.
“What a pity.” He almost growls out as you look up at him fluttering your eyelashes.
Boldly he unclasps his hands and places one on your knee, the same knee that is currently pressing into his under the table.
You let out a small gasp when his hand sneaks into the inside of your knee and his thumb caresses your other leg.
You wish with all your heart that today of all days you had chosen to wear a skirt instead of jeans but your skin is on fire as he traced fine lines into your jeans, eyes not leaving yours.
Neither of you speak as his hand climbs higher. The rational part of your brain is screaming for you to stop this because he is your professor, your teacher, your senior, but the horny part of your brain is begging his fingers to climb higher where he would for sure find you soaked for him.
Before you can do or say anything he squeezes your thigh and you let out a squeal of shock when his hand leaves you, before you know it he is standing up and making his way down the stairs back to the podium seemingly unbothered and unaffected by the whole thing.
You realize this is him dismissing you so you grab your things and make your way down the stairs. Trying to hide how aroused you are and how badly your pussy is aching for his touch.
When you make it to the podium, messenger bag slung over your shoulder he looks up at you and reaches out to hand you a little white card.
You see it's blank on one side but when you turn it over you see an address scrawled on the back.
His address?
“Pity University boys don’t know how to please a woman. As I said you need an outlet for all that stress. Friday night come to this address. Seven pm.”
Your eyes widen in shock
He was inviting you to his house?
“I- I don’t know what to say.” You admit still holding the card in your outstretched hand and as you stare him down.
“Show up or don’t your choice ultimately.” He says closing his laptop and packing up his things for the night.
“What if someone finds out? Or sees this card?” You ask him with a tilt of your head.
He chuckles softly.
“No one ever has before. I’m not too worried. But if you are… don’t show up. Shred the card.” He offers as he shoves stuff in his briefcase not bothering to look at you.
“You’ve done this before?” You ask hating how your voice sounds so scandalized. As if you weren’t egging him on the entire time.
“I think you know the answer to that Miss Y/N.” He says with a cock of his eyebrow as he places his briefcase down and finally locks eyes with you.
“I see the way you look at me. They all have the same look. The want. The desire. I’m just here to get a paycheck and maybe have some fun. Though I will forwarn you if you do show up you will be punished for sleeping in my class.” He adds with a smirk as you gasp.
“Balls in your court Y/N. And if you do tell anyone well you still have your final exam to write.” He says boldly.
Your mouth drops in shock.
“You're going to fail me if I don’t show up? Are you insane?” You cry out as he smiles down at you.
“If you don’t say a word regardless of whether you show up or not I won’t have to fail you. If it does get out, whether you show up or not…well.” He shrugs as an answer and you gasp at him.
You shouldn’t find this hot.
You really shouldn’t.
“Fine.” You bite back and his eyes sparkle with mischief.
“Have a good night Miss Y/N,” he says gesturing at the door.
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Friday you tell your parents you are going to a study group. You have no idea how long this will take or what will even happen so you tell them to not wait up.
The drive is about twenty minutes from your house and you are shaking in anticipation the entire way.
Of course, you didn’t tell a single soul. You knew Mr. Kim was true to his word and you didn’t want to put your grades in the balance so you kept the note hidden in your wallet and double triple checked it before you drove over.
The sun was just starting to set casting everything in a beautiful glow as your hands tapped on the steering wheel and you turned down a side street.
The weather was warm today so you opted for a pale blue sundress with small yellow flowers on it. You dug out your best bra and underwear and tied your hair up to keep it from your face.
Your tote was on the seat next to you filled with textbooks you would never open as you finally made your way to the address and the big house.
It was a two-story white house with white shutters and a long driveway with three separate cars parked. You decided to park on the road and you pulled out the card to double-check again as the door opened and you saw Mr. Kim standing there staring at you.
You never told him you were coming but you guess he was ready anyway because when you grabbed your things and closed the car door he was smiling at you.
He looked so different than how he did in the classroom but still drop-dead gorgeous. His blonde hair was pushed back from his face in his signature style, he was wearing a black tight shirt and grey tight sweatpants that had your mouth watering.
He looked so good.
It really wasn’t fair.
“Hi.” You said softly as you made your way to the door.
He smiled at you and quickly ushed your inside as you took in your surroundings.
The living room was a good size with a big couch and a TV. Of to the side, there was a galley kitchen and you smiled when you remembered he said he was a terrible cook. You saw a staircase off the kitchen and a small bathroom off the living room.
“Mr. Kim thank you for this.” You start but he shushes you with a finger pressed to your lips.
“Please. I’m Namjoon. We don’t need the professional titles here.” He says as you kick off your shoes timidly and he puts a hand on the small of your back to bring you over to the couch.
“Namjoon.” You say his name as he smiles down at you when you both sit.
“Exactly. Or you can call me sir if you're into that.” He teases with a smirk as you blush.
“I think you are the one who would like that…sir… I saw the way you reacted when I called you that.” You tease back suddenly feeling bold as you drop your bag on the hardwood floor.
“You little tease. And getting all dolled up just for me, You shouldn’t have.” He mutters as his fingers come to play with the small straps holding the dress up.
“Yeah, you like it?” You smirk, standing up and swishing your dress around, giving him a full view of your legs.
His hands grab your hips and he pulls you down on his lap as you straddle him staring at him with lust-blown eyes.
“You absolute tease.” He grumbles as his hands come to play with the straps once more, taking his time to pull them slowly down your shoulders and letting them hang.
“What do you want?” He asks staring up at you not daring to make another move until you answer his question.
“You.”
Without warning he leans forward and captures your lips in a searing kiss. You put your hands on his shoulders for support as you kiss him back.
His lips are just as soft as you imagined and you take your time with him, letting him control the kiss as he pushes his body into yours.
You feel his half-hard cock in his sweatpants and when you grind down on it a small moan leaves his mouth.
His hands run up and down your thighs and finally settle on your waist as he kisses you harder pushing his lips into yours and nibbling on your lower lip.
You moan at the feeling and his tongue darts in your mouth to rub against your tongue.
You rake your hands through his soft hair and grab the hair at the nape of his neck as you push your body into his, letting your breasts press into his chest and making more moans fall from his mouth.
This was hands down the hottest makeout session you have had and you start to feel yourself grind against him as pleasure courses through your body.
He pulls away and grins lazily up at you as you continue to rock your core against his now fully hard cock.
“Bend over my lap I promised I’d punish you, princess.” He says as you stare down at him and continue your grind on his cock, the sensation too good to stop.
“What if I don’t want to be punished?” You tease him as he rolls his eyes at you.
His hands grab your shoulders as he pushes you down on the couch and in a flash he has your dress hiked up so your ass is on display.
You moan out when you feel his strong hands massage your bare skin.
“Lacy underwear for me? You shouldn’t have,” He jokes as his hand comes down to smack your ass.
The sting causes you to close your eyes and you moan against the cushion when he continues to spank you, ranging from hard spanks to soft little taps.
Your pussy is throbbing at this point and you are almost humping the couch with how aroused you are. Namjoon isn’t letting up though and after ten spanks he is kneading the sensitive skin and praising you.
“Mr. Kim please!”You cry out.
“What did you call me?” He asks, delivering a sharp smack to your left and right buttcheek causing you to push your face into the cushion harder and moan out.
“Namjoon! Namjoon please!” You cry as he lifts you up and once again positions you on his lap. You can feel the hard ridge of his cock and you grind down on it some more.
“What do you want princess?” He asks massaging the skin he spanked raw as you bury your face in his shoulder, turned on beyond belief.
“You. I want you.” You beg out as he smirks and you lift your head.
You don’t waste time grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head. You gasp when you are met with toned tan skin, broad shoulders, and a muscular chest.
“God Namjoon your body.” You whimper as you lean down to pepper kisses along his collarbones and chest, arching your back so you can reach more skin and have your core press harder into his cock.
“I could say the same about you.” He says lowly as he pulls the straps of your dress down to free your bra to his hungry eyes.
He quickly gets your bra off and his large hands come to cup your breasts. You throw your head back and moan as his thumbs flick over your nipples, sending jolts of pleasure to your already-soaked core.
“God princess I can feel how needy you are, you're soaking my pants.” He says as you look down to see a stain forming on his crotch.
“That’s so fucking hot.” He admits as his hands continue to work your nipples and you continue to grind against his cock chasing your high.
“Princess you're so fucking wet for me I bet I could just slide in huh?” He says as his hands leave your breasts to run down the expanse of your stomach to the hem of your underwear
“Please. Joon. Fuck. Please.” You beg as his hand slips inside and your eyes roll back when he gathers your wetness and begins to circle your clit agonizingly slow.
“Use your words, princess.” He teases as he continues his slow torture on your clit. You throw your head back and grip his strong shoulders for support as you grind against his skilled hand.
“Want you to fuck me. Please, sir. Please.” You whine as he removes his hand and you watch as he licks his fingers clean, sharp eyes never leaving yours.
Your pussy pulses with want and a broken moan leaves your mouth.
“Gotta prep you, princess. Not to brag but I’ve been told I have a big cock. Don’t wanna break my girl before exams.” He teases as he taps your butt so you lift yourself and kneel on the couch giving him full access to your pussy as he pulls your underwear down and completely off leaving you in just your dress with nothing underneath.
He smiles up at you as his finger dips back into your underwear and he circles your clit again. You moan out and grip his shoulders when he inserts a finger inside of you.
You were right when you told him University boys didn’t know what they were doing
You had never experienced something like his before
And it never felt so good being right.
He took his time opening you up on his fingers. Adding another one and scissoring them, making beautiful whines and moans fall from your lips. You already felt close to the edge and when he curled his fingers upwards and thrusted deeper you let go.
Your body arched forward and you cried out his name as you orgasmed around his fingers. He chuckled darkly against your skin as you rode out your high. Feeling yourself pulse around his digits as he worked you through it.
Once you came down you straddled his lap once again and pressed your face into his chest letting your breathing even out as he stroked your hair and praised you for being so good for him.
“Please Namjoon.” You whined out as you pushed yourself up so you were face to face with him.
“Tell me, Princess. Tell your Professor what you want.” He says as you scoot back and stroke his cock through his sweatpants.
“Want you to fuck me Joon.” You beg as he wraps one hand around you to lift you and the other hand tugs at his sweats pulling them down so his hard cock is flush against his stomach.
He was right, his cock was big.
Thick and veiny, the tip was bright red and leaking precum down the shaft. You carefully wrapped a hand around his cock and began to slowly jerk him off, wanting to give him the pleasure he gave you.
“Princess you are too good at that.” He whines out when you twist your wrist at the top making his cock leak more precum.
“Princess you gotta stop I gotta get a condom.” He says as you stop your movements and giggle when he reaches for his wallet you didn’t even notice was on the coffee table and retrieves a condom from it.
Your pussy throbs in anticipation and right as he is about to roll the condom on the door bursts open.
Standing there is Mr. Min your psych teacher and you scream and bury your face in Namjoons shoulder as he looks unbothered by the whole thing.
“Jesus Joon on the couch?! Really? Thought we said bedrooms only!” Another voice says and you look up in time to see another male standing in the doorway. He is beautiful with slightly wavy brown hair and wide eyes, his features are soft giving him a look of unearthly beauty.
“Sorry, it just kind of happened,” Namjoon admits as you are still frozen in shock at the fact your other teacher is here watching the whole thing and seeming so chill about it.
“Mr. Min I’m so- I- shit I don’t know what to say.” You stammer as Mr. Min’s eyes lock on Namjoon’s in a harsh stare.
“You didn’t even tell her Joon? Jesus, do we have to do everything?” He asks as he comes around the couch and you push yourself closer to Namjoon in worry of what will happen.
“Listen Kitten. Come to my room when he’s done fucking you yeah? Up the stairs last door on the right.” He says pressing a surprisingly soft kiss to your back as he walks away from the couch and smacks Namjoon on the back of his head.
“No more fucking on the couch or you’re going to pay the cleaning bill.” He says as he makes his way up the stairs.
Your heart is still hammering in your chest and you are frozen in absolute shock
What the fuck is going on?
“Why do you get her first?” The other man complains as Namjoon pushes his head into your shoulder and whines in embarrassment.
“Because I’m her teacher too. She has no idea who the fuck you are!” Mr. Min calls from the top of the stairs in a teasing tone.
The other man comes around the couch and grabs your hand to shake it with a big smile on his face.
“I’m Mr. Jung but you can call me Hobi. We’ve never met but I’m the performing arts teacher. Once these two buffoons are done with you come to my room. I’m the last door on the left.” He sends you a sultry wink and before you know it he is heading up the stairs as well and you are frozen in shock.
“What the fuck.” You whisper as Namjoon is groaning into your shoulder and you look down to see his cock softening between your bodies.
“I… Shit, they are right I should have explained things before we started.” He admits as he pushes his head back to stare at you.
“I’m so confused.” You admit still in shock.
“Yoongi, Um I guess he’s Mr. Min to you, Hobi, and I were roommates at University. After we graduated we couldn’t afford housing alone so we decided to rent a big house and live together. We all work at the same place so it just made sense. Anyway, we found that there are…students who take an interest in us beyond academics and figured why the hell not? We are young and if we want them and they want us and it’s consensual…” His voice trailed off and you nodded.
“Anyway, sometimes we share our students and sometimes we keep them to ourselves. When I talked to Yoongi about how he was stressing out my students he admitted he had an eye for you, but so did I. So we agreed to share as long as I got you first. Hobi is…well he’s Hobi he’s not picky and usually is down for anything. You don’t have to do anything with them if you don’t want to. You can let me fuck you and walk out this door. It won’t affect your grade with Yoongi at all. I should have told you sooner, as soon as you got here but you in that dress…good god I had to get my hands on you.” He says running his hands up and down your hips as you whine and grind against him.
“Again you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You can walk out the door right now, write your exams, and never see any of us again. Your choice princess.” He says.
You shake your head at him and slide off his lap.
You see his face fall.
And quickly turn to shock when you lower yourself down to the floor and engulf his soft cock in your warm mouth.
Namjoon grunts and grabs your hair that has started to fall out of your ponytail to keep it away from your face as you suck him down, loving the feeling of his cock starting to harder in your mouth.
You suck and bob your head as your tongue dances over the sensitive flesh.
“Fuck! Is that a yes then?” Namjoon pants above you as his hands tighten in your hair and force you to look up at him.
“Have sex with the three hottest teachers on campus? I’d be stupid to say no to that.” You tease as you jerk off his quickly hardening cock and get off your knees to get back on his lap and kiss him.
His hands tangle in your hair as he frees it from your ponytail and you kiss him wildly. Your tongues and teeth clash as you feel his now fully hard cock press into your abdomen.
“Fuck me Joon. Please.” You cry out as his hand comes down to spank your ass once more.
“Are you just saying that ‘cause you wanna rush to Yoongi?” He teases as he finally rolls the condom on his cock.
“Nah you made me wait a whole semester. If I wait any longer I’m gonna explode.” You admit as he positions his cock at your entrance and teases your folds with the tip.
“Well, I won’t make my princess wait any longer then.” He says as he inches his cock inside of you.
The sting is immediate and you bury your face in his shoulder as he pushes himself in inch by inch until he is fully sheathed inside of you, his large hands coming up to hold your hips steady and give you time to adjust to his length.
“God I made you cum and your still tight.” He grits out as it’s taking everything in him not to immediately thrust inside of you.
You take your time and slowly move your hips back and forth. His hands grip your sides harshly and he hisses every time you move.
You know he is being a gentleman and waiting for you to adjust and it makes you smile.
“Joon. Move.” You plea as he begins to thrust into you shallowly letting your body get used to the feeling of being stuffed with cock.
You let out a moan when he starts to pick up speed. Your hands rest on his shoulders and you use your legs to fuck yourself on his cock as he picks up the pace and is fucking you rather harshly.
The noise is obscene and you wonder if the other men can hear how Namjoon is fucking you. It makes your pussy clench and Namjoon lets out a hiss as he tilts his hips and pushes his cock deeper inside of you to hit your g spot.
You are moaning above him, hands holding onto his for dear life and feeling the coil of pleasure get tighter and tighter.
He must understand because one hand leaves your hip to come and circle your clit and a high whine leaves your mouth as you feel yourself get closer to the edge.
Namjoon once again picks up the pace and fucks into you harder and you capture his lips in a kiss and before you can warn him you are flying off the edge and cumming hard around his cock.
You whine against his mouth as you ride out your second high of the night and Namjoon fucks you through it. His hand leaves your clit and he continues to pound into you bringing you to the brink of overstimulation before he groans into your neck and cums hard into the condom.
You cry out when you feel his cock twitch deep inside of you and his thrusts become erratic as he works himself through his own high.
You slump your body against his and let your breathing settle as he does the same.
His hands still have a vice-like grip on your hips and when he finally releases them you look down to see they are slightly red.
You grin.
“That was wow.” He says pushing his sweaty hair back from his face as you grin at him feeling euphoric.
“I agree.” You say with a smile as you climb off his lap and try to stand, only to have your legs shake and your body nearly tumbles into the couch.
Namjoon steadies you and takes the condom off his softening cock and ties it up throwing it in a garbage nearby.
You pull the straps of your dress up and search for your bra and underwear but Namjoon stops you.
“Don’t bother, save the others the trouble of taking it off again.” He says which has you gasping.
“Remember you always have a choice. You can walk out the door now or go to Yoongi.” He says as you lean against the couch and smooth everything down trying to at least look presentable.
“You know my answer Joon,” you say as you raise your eyebrows at him.
He stands up and pulls up his underwear and sweatpants. Without warning he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder. You squeal in delight as he carries you up the stairs and to the last door on the right. He kicks it open with his foot and you find Yoongi hunched in a desk chair working on something on a laptop. His hair is messy under big headphones and he looks up with a slow smirk when Namjoon deposits you on his bed.
“Special delivery. No bra or underwear just a skimpy sundress. You’re welcome.” He teases as he winks at you and closes the door.
Now you are left alone with Yoongi having no idea what to expect.
“Did Namjoon fill you in?” He asks taking off his headphones and saving whatever he was working on.
“Yeah, he did.” You say suddenly breathless at the prospect of getting fucked…again.
“And did he take good care of you? Namjoon is the youngest of the three of us. Gotta make sure we trained him well.” Yoongi says as he rolls his chair over to sit at the foot of the bed, eyes roving over your disheveled appearance.
“Yes Sir.” You say watching Yoongi smirk at you as his hands trace small circles on your legs.
“How are you feeling?” He asks as his fingers take their time with your bare skin.
“Good. A little sore. Namjoon spanked me. But overall good.” You admit as your eyes are glued to his long fingers which are climbing slightly higher with each stroke.
“Why did he spank you kitten? Were you bad?” He mutters lowly as his hands come to your knees to part your legs.
You sit up for him and scoot your butt to the very edge of the bed and let your legs fall open. You hike your dress around your hips and give him a full view.
Yoongi’s eyes darken.
“I have this teacher called Mr. Min. He gave me so much homework I stayed up all night completing it and hardly slept. I fell asleep in Joon’s class so he had to punish me.” You tease as you watch Yoongi’s hands trail higher and higher on your skin.
His cheeks are flushed and his brown hair is falling into his eyes as he watches his hands caress your skin.
“Ah well if it were me I’d do the same thing. Naughty girls get punished.” He says giving your upper thighs a soft smack as you whine.
You start to pout but just as you stick your bottom lip out, he leans forward to kiss you.
You plant your hands on his jean-clad thighs as you lean forward to kiss him back. His lips are soft as he presses them to yours. You flutter your eyes closed and focus on the sensation of his good his lips feel against yours.
You feel your core throb with arousal and you push your lips harder into his, loving the way he grunts against you and tangles his hands in your hair.
You spend awhile just kissing and testing the waters and soon enough Yoongi pulls away and his eyes are dark, clouded with lust and you can see an obvious bulge in his jeans.
“Can I suck your cock?” You ask as you stand up and stare at him.
“Namjoon didn’t let you suck him off?” Yoongi asks as he stands up and takes your spot on the bed. He throws you a pillow to kneel on and you take your spot between his legs palming at his bulge eagerly.
“I mean he did but hardly. Think he was too excited to fuck me.” You admit as Yoongi lets out a quiet laugh and your hands come to pop the button of his jeans open and tug the zipper down. His eyes widen when you see his cock straining against his dark boxers.
“I don’t blame him,” Yoongi mumbles as he pushes his hair back from his face to look down at you kneeling on the floor between his legs.
A sight he wants to commit to memory.
You slowly pull his jeans down and he helps you kick them off. You take in the sight of him, already looking fucked out and you hardly touched him.
“What were you working on when Joon dropped me off?” You ask as you bring your hand up to palm at his erection.
“M-Music. I make music on the side.” He admits as you push your palm into his cock and soak in the moans that are falling from his lips.
“Hard ass Mr. Min makes music on the side? That’s cool.” You tease as his eyes snap open and he stares you down dangerously.
“What did you call me?” He asks in a low voice as you hook your hands into his boxers and he lifts his hips to assist you with pulling them off.
“A hardass? Come on you knew that already.” You tease letting your hands run up and down his hard shaft, smearing the pre-cum all over it as his eyes threaten to flutter closed again.
Before he can reply you lean forward and wrap your lips around his cockhead causing him to moan and lace his fingers tightly through your hair.
You take your time sucking him, loving the feeling of your tongue lapping up his precum and loving even more that you are making big bad intimidating Min Yoongi fall apart.
You slowly take him in deeper and smirk when he grips your hair harder and bucks his cock into your mouth.
You bring your hand up to work in tandem with your mouth and you hollow out your cheeks and continue to suck him.
He throws his head back and whines as you take him deeper. By the time you get his cock down and your nose is brushing against his neatly trimmed pubes, Yoongi has his hands laced through your hair and is grunting above you.
He tastes salty on your tongue and your eyes water when your gag reflex kicks in but you do everything you can to relax your throat and swallow around him.
Rough hands tug at your hair as he pries you off his cock and you look up at him with tearful eyes, as a string of spit is still connected from your mouth to his very red cockhead which is slowly leaking more precum.
“Kitten you are far too good at that.” He complements as you smile up at him and he leans forward to grab your arms to help you up.
You stand on shaky knees as Yoongi grabs you and pushes you down on the bed. You let out a squeal of delight as he flips you onto your back. He hikes up your sundress and lets it pool around your midsection as he eyes your still-soaked core.
“You’re still all puffy for me Kitten.” He comments as one finger comes to trace at your clit and you whine and buck your hips into his hand.
“Mmm Yoongi.” You moan letting your eyes close as he teases your clit with the tip of his finger, his eyebrows scrunched up in concentration and his tongue darts out to lick at the corner of his mouth.
“What do you want kitten"?” He asks plunging a finger inside of you making your body arch off the bed and your hands come to grip the sheets below.
“You. I want you Yoongi. Real bad.” You cry out as he adds another finger without warning and begins to take his time opening you up.
“You already got fucked by one man now you want another so soon. You're such a greedy kitten.” He purrs reaching up to kiss and suck at your neck.
You tangle your hands in his hair and let the sensation of his soft lips on your heated skin take over.
He takes his time plunging his fingers inside of you and stretching you out. You felt like you didn’t need stretching out after Namjoon’s cock but you weren’t about to say anything as Yoongi’s fingers felt like magic.
“Wanna come around my fingers?” He asks as his lips are still sucking at your neck and you are grinding your butt down to meet his thrusts, fucking yourself on his long fingers.
“Would rather cum on your cock.” You admit as his head snaps up and his eyes meet yours. His eyes are dark and lustful and when he pulls his fingers out he licks at them taking his time cleaning them and leaving you whining out on the bed.
“Kitten doesn’t know how to use her words.” Yoongi teases as he sees your frustration but still takes his sweet time.
You frown at him.
“Kitten did use her words you just chose to ignore them.” You fire back which causes Yoongi to pounce on you, resting his whole body weight on yours as you feel his cock press against your center.
“Did you just talk back to me?” He growls as he grabs the base of his cock and runs it through your folds.
“Sorry, Sir. Guess I’m just impatient. You like to take your sweet time.” You answer back not bothering to hide your attitude as Yoongi’s hand wraps around your throat.
Your eyes bulge when he squeezes it and you let out a choked moan when he stares you down with an intensity that has your core throbbing.
His hand tightens on your neck, pressing into your pulse which has it racing against his fingertips. You flutter your eyes closed but with his free hand, he lightly slaps your cheek.
“Look at me when I speak to you. Naughty Kitten comes into the lion’s den to get fucked by three different men. Now she thinks she can sass back to a man who holds her future in his hands. I could fail you right now if I want to. I could squeeze your throat until you passed out. I could throw you up against a wall and fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk for a week. “
Your eyes roll in the back of your head at his words.
“Now are you going to behave or am I going to add to the spankings you already received? Hmm? Gonna drop that attitude yet or still think your hot shit around here.” He growls out as his fingers start to ease on your throat and you expand your lungs taking in as much air as you can.
“Sorry, Sir. I’ll behave.” You say softly as Yoongi smiles down at you and presses soft sweet kisses to your neck, soothing the area he just had his hand wrapped around.
He slowly gets off the bed and reaches over to the nightstand where he pulls out a foil packet. He opens it and rolls it down his hard cock, jerking himself off as he goes.
You watch him work his cock with nimble fingers and soon enough he is on top of you again positioning his cock at your entrance.
“Let me know if it’s too much.” He says softly as he slips his cockhead inside and begins to inch in slowly.
You can’t help but whine when he finally gets all the way in. His hips are flush against yours and you both breathe heavily at the sensation.
He stares down at you with hair falling into his eyes and slowly presses his lips to yours.
The kiss is slow and sweet and the complete opposite of how he choked you earlier. You tangle your hands into his hair and give your body time to adjust.
This time it doesn’t take your body long to adjust and you start to wiggle your hips to give him the signal to move.
“You good Kitten?” He asks pulling away to stare at you.
And what a sight you were.
Hair splayed out on his pillow, eyes blown wide, and cheeks dusted with a pretty blush.
"Please.” You beg as Yoongi begins to thrust inside of you shallowly, slowly picking up the pace as he goes.
His hands are on either side of your head holding himself up as he fucks into you. You tear your eyes away from his gorgeous face to see his biceps bulging and you moan out his name.
The sound of slapping skin, grunts, and moans fill the room and you shift down to meet Yoongi’s every thrust.
But something is missing. You want more.
“Yoongi please.” You cry out when he thrusts into you harder and his cock hits that spot inside of you that has your toes curling and your lips parting in an obscene moan.
“Again Kitten use your words. Did we teach you nothing? Fuck.” He cries out as he tilts his hips to get a better angle deep inside of you.
“Choke me. Please fuck. Yoongi.” You beg as your hands come up to claw at his back.
He stops his movements. Completely stills and you whine at the loss of friction.
“You…sure?” He asks staring down at you with eyes wide. Like he couldn’t believe you had just said that.
“Please.” You beg as Yoongi smirks and slips out of you.
You let out a frustrated noise as he positions himself at the foot of the bed and taps his bare lap, signaling you to come over and ride his cock.
“Can’t hold myself up and choke you kitten. You have to decide.”
You scramble to the end of the bed and sink down on his cock. He feels so much deeper in this position and when his hand comes up to your neck you let out a moan and feel your eyes flutter closed.
“Fuck your a vision like this with my cock stuffing your pussy and my hand around your throat.” He mutters as you use his cock and begin to ride him.
He has one hand on the bed holding himself up and the other is around your neck.
You are seeing stars, absolute stars. The pleasure from his hand around you slightly choking you and the feeling of his cock stuffing you full has you riding him harder, chasing the high you so desperately craved.
Yoongi pushes a little harder on the sides of your neck and you're a goner. You arch your back up and feel the pleasure that was building and building finally crescendo into an orgasm that punches the air out of your lungs, or maybe that was the fact Yoongi was still fucking up into you wildly and his hand was still wrapped around your throat.
“My pretty Kitten cumming with my cock stuffed inside her and my hand around her pretty neck, fuck you are so hot. What the fuck. What the actual fuck.” He blabbers as he chases his own high and is soon cumming inside of you. His hand leaves your throat to steady himself on the bed so you both don’t topple forward and hit the floor.
You let him ride out his high as you come down from yours. He buries his face in your shoulder and grunts low and dangerous as he finally stills his hips.
He slowly shifts you up and off his lap, plopping you on the bed and standing up so he can crack open a window.
The whole room reeks of cum and sex and you flop back down on his bed putting a hand on your chest to feel your heart beating rapidly.
Yoongi pulls up his boxers and fishes around in his drawers for some looser pants pulling them over his legs before he sits down beside you.
He shoots you a rare smile and you smile back at him.
“So I’m not actually going to fail your class am I?” You tease breaking the silence as he giggles and you smile at him.
“Nah that was a heat of the moment thing. You are top of my class I would have no way of failing you.” He admits and you sit up and stare at him.
“Wait really? I’m top of the class? I…wow. I didn’t expect that.” You say shyly as he messes up his hair and smirks at you.
“How? You actually show up. You hand in assignments. You work hard. There is no reason you shouldn’t be top of my class.” He says and you flush at his praises.
“Even if a teacher had to come to talk to me and tell me to lay off a little bit.” He says with a teasing tone.
“He told me he wouldn’t say specifically who!” You say with a laugh rolling your eyes to the ceiling.
“He didn’t say it was you specifically but I could tell you were working yourself to death and needed a break. Or a release.” He says wiggling his eyebrows as you smack his arm.
Before you can answer there is a knock at the door and you pull your dress down and smooth it out as Hobi appears.
“Ah just in time,” Yoongi says as he smiles up at his friend.
“I know I heard you fucking her.” He grumbles as he leans against the door frame and you take him in.
The other two you were familiar with, but Hobi was a stranger so you took your time.
Your eyes roved his lean dancer’s body and how he leaned up against the door frame and crossed his arms with ease. He looked intimidating except for the small smile on his face.
“Only if you want to Kitten. You can walk out of here now. Your choice.” Yoongi reminds you.
“I don’t want to pressure you but I’m so fucking hard right now,” Hobi admits with a bite of his lips which has you standing up on shaky legs.
In two long strides, he reaches you and holds you steady against his strong frame.
“What did you do to her? She can hardly stand.” He accuses as Yoongi smirks and grabs a sweater on the floor, throwing it over his head and making his way back over to his desk and opening his laptop.
“Have fun kitten.” He says as he winks at you and puts his headphones over his ears.
Hobi leads you out into the hall and you take a shaky breath staring up at his beautiful face.
“Only if you want to.” He says shyly and you nod.
“Words please.” He says crossing his arms and staring you down.
“Yes. I want to. Though I might be extra sore.” You say with a grimace as you feel how tired your legs are and how your ass still stings from Namjoon’s earlier spanks.
Hobi grabs your hands and leads you to his room across the hall. You enter and take in the bright walls and decor and the big bed in the middle.
You can’t help yourself as you flop down on his bed and curl up in a ball. You take in the smell of his bed sheets and you sigh as he comes to sit next to you.
“You don’t have to baby. Seriously I want this to be good for both of us.” He says massaging your back as you peek up to look at him.
“Sorry Hobi I want to. God, I want to. It’s just the last two were…intense.” You admit suddenly feeling shy when he rolls you onto your back and stares down at you.
“How about we take it slow? Let me massage you and we will see where it leads hmm?” He asks and before you can answer he rolls you onto your stomach and his long fingers begin to massage the back of your legs.
You close your eyes and rest your cheek on his bed as he gets to work. He takes his time applying pressure to your sore muscles, digging his thumbs in where he feels like you need a little more pressure being respectful the whole time, and not letting his hands trail too high up your body.
You let out a whine when he massages a particularly sore spot and you spread your legs for him wider, letting his hands dance over the skin of your inner thighs.
“God baby you’re so tight.” He mutters as his hands travel down your calves and back up again earning a broken moan from you.
“So dance teacher huh?” You ask as he continues to work your muscles this time his hand inches high on your hamstrings and you push your face into the mattress at the feeling.
“Yeah, I’ve always loved dance and music and I had some teachers change my life and the way I see dance so I decided I wanted to be just like them. I love what I do.” He says softly as his fingers dig into your flesh and you feel yourself start to relax.
“How come I’ve never seen you on campus?” You ask voice muffled by his sheets as his hands continue to work your right and left leg.
“The dance studio is the furthest away from your building. We are the complete opposite sides of campus. Can’t have us blaring our music and having fun while you are trying to study for a test.” He teases as he gives you a small smack on the ass causing you to jolt and let out a pained whine.
He lifts the skirt of your dress and stares down at the red marks Namjoon left behind. His skilled hands massage the tender flesh and you let out another satisfied moan.
“T-True. But might be nice you know, to see you guys perform, might take away some stress.” You admit as his hands still wander your butt cheeks.
“I thought that’s what we were doing here?” He teases as you crane your neck to look at him and he flashes you a toothy smile.
His hands come to your hips to flip you over to your back. You stare up at his beautiful face and lean yourself up on your elbows capturing his lips in a kiss.
His hands cradle your head and hold you steady as he kisses you back. You feel blissed out as just like the others he takes his time exploring your mouth and pushing his lips into yours.
The kisses are slow and sweet, with no urgency just two people taking their time to get to know each other.
You shift so you are kneeling on the bed and you run your fingers through his dark hair and he sighs happily against your mouth.
You let your hands explore his hair, moving down to his neck and exploring his body.
You grab the hem of his shirt and your lips part so you can pull it off of him.
You press soft kisses to his neck and collarbones and smile against his skin when he throws his head back and whines.
You take your time with his body, kissing every freckle or mole you find as he holds your hair back and allows you to explore.
You stop at the hem of his loose-fitting pants and you can already see a sizeable bulge which causes you to giggle.
"So eager.” You tease as you lean up to capture his lips again and palm at his hard cock. He whines in your mouth as you push your palm into him and make sure to grind against his cockhead.
“You have no idea what it was like. Having to sit in this room and hear Namjoon and Yoongi fuck you. Torture.” He admits as you continue to palm him through the material.
“Did you like hearing how good I was getting fucked?” You say to him as you dance your fingers along his cock which is straining against the material, when you give him a squeeze you realize he is not wearing anything underneath and you gasp.
“Had to take them off. I was so fucking hard my cock needed some room. Didn’t wanna jerk off in case I came. The noises you make. Fuck Y/N I know why Namjoon picked you.” Hobi admits as you pull his pants down and watch as his cock smacks up against his toned stomach.
You take your time circling the base of his cock with your hand and he buries his face in your shoulder and whines at your touch.
You feel yourself start to get wet but you want to take your time and focus on him, he needs this more right now.
“If I make you cum now would you be able to still fuck me?” You ask as you begin to jerk him off, applying just the right amount of pressure and smearing his precum down his aching shaft.
“I-fuck-” He says as you flick your wrist at the top and watch as he bites his lip burying his face into your shoulder harder.
“Words please.” You say with a smirk as he pulls away and stares you down.
“I can tell you have been with Joon and Yoongi. I know I’m too pent up to fuck you right now I probably wouldn’t last. So yes. Please. Make me cum and I’ll fuck you.” He says as you nod and begin to stroke him harder.
He leans up to pull you in for a searing kiss and you tighten your grip on his cock which has him moaning against your mouth.
His hands are tangled wildly in your hair and you continue to jerk his cock harder and faster until he can no longer kiss you and instead is just moaning and whining against your swollen lips.
When you run your thumb under the head of his cock his hips jerk, fucking himself into your fist.
He continues to snap his hips forward and back, using your hand as his own personal fuck toy and you let him, loving the way he throws his head back making his hair push back from his sweaty forehead and the way the veins in his neck strain against his skin.
“Gonna cum for me?” You growl as you watch his eyes flutter open and he nods.
“Cum all over my hand Hobi. Come on now. Be a good boy and cum.” You demand and he loses it.
His body convulses forward and he buries his head back into your shoulder as he cums. Ropes of hot cum coat your fist as you let him work himself through it. He is still fucking up into your tight fist and when he finally stops you release his cock and begin to lap at the cum he left behind.
“Fuckkkk.” He groans out as he watches you lick and suck the cum up, his taste exploding in your mouth as you take your time, keeping your eyes locked on his as you finish the job and completely clean yourself.
“How are you real? Holy fuck how are you real?” He whines out as you smirk at the way his jaw is dropped and his eyes are blown wide.
You smile at him as you drop down on his bed and lie on your back, your knees starting to get sore from all the kneeling you had to do.
Hobi smirks and crawls off the bed, his hands grab at your hips and he pulls you to the very edge of the bed and kneels on the floor. Your eyes widen when his hands come to your knees and he flips up the skirt of your dress and prys your legs open as he gets comfortable between them.
“Gonna eat you out.” He mutters as he places hot kisses on your thighs and you spread them open wider for him.
When his mouth finally gets to your core you are almost shaking on the mattress. He laps at your clit and begins to swirl his tongue around it making you see stars.
Your hands grip the sheets below as you bring your legs up to wrap around his back caging him in place.
He chuckles against your core and continues to suck and lick at your clit, you can hear the wetness of his tongue lapping at your wetness and it makes your pussy pulse.
His tongue runs up and down your slit and he buries his face into your core causing his strong nose to bump against your clit sending you arching off the bed and a broken moan falling from your lips
His hands hold onto your thighs keeping you steady as he licks and sucks, pressing harder and working faster as you feel your orgasm start to build in your lower stomach.
You are squirming on the sheets and his name is falling out of your mouth in a prayer as he works harder and sucks up everything you are giving him
“Ho-Hobi stop you gotta stop.” You cry out as you feel yourself getting closer to the edge. Not wanting to fall off too soon.
“Baby your sopping wet for me.” He says as his head pops up between your legs and you see his lips shiny with your arousal, some is even leaking down his chin, and you swear it’s the hottest sight you have ever seen.
“Want you to fuck me Hobi.” You say as you sit up and watch him get up from the floor. His cock is once again rock hard against his stomach and he smiles at you.
He grabs a condom and rolls it onto his cock, pumping himself a few times as he leans down on the bed.
“How do you want me?” He asks as you sit up and close your legs giving him room to sit next to you.
“However you want. I just don’t think I can ride you. I think my legs will literally fall off.” You say with a laugh as Hobi eyes you mischievously.
“Did you ride both Joon and Yoongi?”
You nod.
“Don’t they know there are other positions to choose from? Fuck no wonder you are tired.” He says sitting on the bed beside you and stroking your knee in a comforting way.
“Well Joon I didn’t mind but with Yoongi we had to….for…reasons.” You say blushing at the memory of his hand wrapped around your neck.
“Reasons?” He asks with a cock of his eyebrow.
“He um..was choking me. Consensually of course!” You reply as you choose to stare at the floor instead of Hobi’s surprised face.
“Kinky.” He says with a soft giggle as you face him and smile shyly.
“Okay how about this lay against the headboard feet flat on the bed, I’ll do all the work baby.” He says patting you as you follow his instructions.
You spread your legs as Hobi crawls up the bed towards you. He places his hands on the headboard to hold himself steady and is on his knees running his cock through your folds.
You let out a broken whine and his eyes snap to yours in concern.
“I’m okay just…sensitive.” You admit already knowing that having a third cock inside of you in a short span of time will only make the soreness worse.
“I’ll go easy baby.” He says as he uses his fingers to spread your pussy lips even more and he slides his cock in.
Hobi is just as big as the others and even though you have lost track of how many times you have cum you can still feel a slight stretch as he bottoms out.
You close your eyes and scrunch your face, letting your body get used to the sensation as he stills and gives you time to adjust.
“Fuck you are so wet inside. Your soaking my cock baby. So fucking wet. And all for me.” He mutters in your ear causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.
He starts to thrust shallowly inside of you and you bring your knees closer to your chest giving him more access to your core as he starts to pound into you with force.
Hobi is skilled with his hips and you can see why he would be a good dancer, he alternates from wild thrusting to burying his cock deep inside of you and grinding his hips causing his cock head to brush against your g-spot.
Hobi holds your legs open almost bending you in half and giving his cock room to go deeper inside of you, you swear you can feel him in your stomach but your eyes are too heavy to open right now so you take deep breaths and focus on the sensation.
The view you are missing is immaculate.
Hobi’s hips are thrusting deep inside of you and his head is thrown back in pleasure. His hair is sweaty and stuck to his forehead and his lips are sucked into his mouth as he works on bringing you over the edge.
You feel the coil of pleasure start to tighten and you know you are close.
Hobi is so good and once he gets into a rhythm he starts thrusting erratically making you shake on the bed and whine out his name.
Your eyes are screwed shut when you cum. Crying out his name in a broken moan that is ripped from your lungs. You want to cry from the feeling of having another orgasm as euphoria washes over you. It is too much and not enough at the same time and you feel tears slip out of your eyes when he continues to work his cock deep inside of you chasing his high.
“One more baby can you give me one more?” He asks in a desperate tone as his thrusts become erratic and you hold onto his shoulders for dear life as the overstimulation is almost painful.
“Ho-Hobi please please it’s too much… fuck!” You cry when his hand comes down to circle your clit and you feel your walls clamp down on his cock.
“Want you to cum with me can you do that baby. Come on one more on my cock.” He says breathlessly as you quickly reach the edge one more time and you cry out and feel your walls pulse against his cock which twitches and cums deep inside of your pussy.
He has his cock buried all the way in and is panting above you as you both ride out your highs.
When you finally come down the soreness in your body takes over and you slump against the headboard.
He pulls out of you and tosses the condom and leaves you spread eagle on the bed. You don’t mind though you are too worried about trying to force air back into your lungs after that intense orgasm.
Faintly you hear running water and you open your eyes to see Namjoon standing there leaning against the door frame with his hands tucked into his pockets.
He changed out of his clothes into soft green pj pants and a big baggy sweater, the hood was thrown over his messy hair and he stared at you affectionately.
“Come on princess we have to get you cleaned up now.” He says as he enters the room and walks over to Hobi’s window throwing it open to air out the room.
You groan and bury your face in the pillows, the last thing you want to do is stand up right now.
“Come on I got you.” He says softly as he scoops you in his arms like you weigh nothing and you bury your face in his soft sweater as he carries you towards the source of the running water.
The bathroom lights are dimmed and you see Yoongi is already there testing the water with his finger. Namjoon sets you down on shaky legs and you look around at the three men standing in the bathroom, all of them grinning at you.
Namjoon slowly slips the straps of your dress down and he lets it pool at your ankles. You step out of it as Hobi holds you up and helps you into the warm bath.
You sink into the warm water and let out a content sigh as Hobi and Yoongi leave the room, leaving you with Namoon who is still staring at you affectionately.
“Take as long as you need Princess. Towels are over there and there is a change of clothes on the vanity. It’s our stuff so it might not perfectly fit but it will do.” He says with a dimpled smile.
“Yoongi is making some food so take your time we will bring it up to you.” He says softly as he closes the door.
You inhale the lavender scent of the bubble bath and you sigh and sink deeper in the water, hoping it will ease some of the ache in your legs.
You flutter your eyes closed and aren’t sure how long you are laying there when the door cracks open and Yoongi is there with a plate of noodles that smell wonderful.
He places it on a mini folding table and leaves the room again, giving you time to eat in peace.
You spend a total of forty minutes in the bath and as you dry off and throw on the soft sweatpants and sweater someone knocks on the door and you see Namjoon standing there again.
“How do you feel princess?” He asks still leaning against the door frame as you let your hair down and throw the hood of the sweater over your messy hair.
“Relaxed. And so sleepy.” You admit as he comes behind you and hugs you, letting his chin rest on your shoulder.
“You did amazing tonight princess. So good for us. It’s pretty late so if you want to crash here we have a spare room. Or if you're comfortable you can sleep next to one of us. Or if you want to go home you can. Your choice.” He says as he raises his head to stare at both of your reflections in the mirror.
“Wanna sleep next to you Joon? Is that okay?” You say feeling small and safe in his arms.
He shoots you a smile as he takes your hands and leads you to his bedroom. The small bedside lamp is on and you see the duvet already rolled down. He assists you over to the bed as your legs are still shaky and he helps you get under the covers.
He crawls in on the other side and flicks off the lamp casting the room in darkness as he comes behind you to spoon you, his hands holding you flush against him.
“What time is it anyway?” You ask craning your neck to look out his window where you can see a small sliver of the moon illuminated in the sky.
“Almost eleven.” He replies as you gasp.
You didn’t think that much time had passed.
“Time flies when you're being fucked.” He teases as you smack his arm and he laughs, face buried in your neck.
“You should give me bonus marks on the exam for dealing with your terrible jokes.” You grumble as he is still chuckling behind you.
“Maybe I will.” He says as you can hear his voice drop a couple of octaves, he must be as tired as you are.
“Night Mr.Kim.” You tease pushing your butt back so it’s flush against his cock as he groans low in your ear.
“Goodnight Miss Y/N”
681 notes · View notes
kyph3r · 3 months
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NEW WORKOUT PLAN
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trainer!namjoon x fem!reader
in which... your new trainer is hot, you're horny, and it's past closing hours
warnings: pwp, smut, use of the word "slutty", this is rlly short so be ready for a fast pace, im imagining a chubbier reader but the fic is for everyone !!!
an: just a little drabble, i was listening to the college dropout and the new work out plan played, it inspired me ;)
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when your trainer walks in, you swear the world stops for a second
you just joined a new gym, it's marketing said it was rigorous and had the top trainers in the country working to get people in shape. so when a 6'2, bulky, handsome man walks into your assigned training room and says he'll be helping you work out for the next few months with the sweetest smile on his face, should you really be as surprised and horny as you are?
your first day is extremely embarrassing, you swear the universe cursed you to be the most unflexable person on earth. but your trainer, namjoon, says it's all right with a small smile and proceeds to lay you out on the ground and help you stretch. his big arms grab your thighs and pull them back until your knees hit your chest and fuck, you pray to the highest power that you aren't leaking through your tight little leggings.
"you are so tense, is everything alright?" he asks with a concerned look on his face. the hands on your thighs go higher and start gently massaging your calves as an attempt to get you to relax. it does quite the opposite. you can't tell if he's teasing you on purpose or if he is just that oblivious.
"n-no i'm fine namjoon.. i just don't stretch a lot, that's all!" you say with a tremble in your voice, trying to hold back a pleasured moan from the way he's touching you. he lets out a noise of understanding and starts bending you more.
"if that's the case then we should probably spend a lot of time stretching in our first few sessions," he looks down at you and smiles, "i don't want you to accidentally hurt yourself because you haven't stretched." the look on your face after he said that must have been very amusing, because he had to lower his head to let out a chuckle.
namjoon is an excellent trainer. he insists on doing the workouts alongside you "to make it fair" but it honestly just makes things a lot worse. by the end of the workout his voice is breathier, there's a shine of sweat all over him, and the image of a big man dripping sweat and saying your name alongside praises of "keep it up, you're doing so well" leaves you in more of a debauched state than you should be in after a work out.
by the end of the first month you're sore and very sexually frustrated. you've been trying to seduce him in any way possible, wearing the tightest work out gear you own, blinking up at him with eyes that scream "please fuck me!" any time that you can, you really give props to namjoon for being so respectful and proper during your sessions. but every once in a while his polite persona will break and he'll look at you like he wants to devour you right in there in the training room. but it will quickly go back to normal, leaving you a horny mess.
the closest you think you came to him fucking you was the yoga day, you purposely wore shorts that made your ass look amazing. he told you to do the downward dog position and you swear you heard a quiet "fuck" coming from him behind you, quickly covered with a cough. by the end of the session a blush was set high on his cheekbones and the hands around your waist positioned to check your form were gripping firmer.
by the middle of your second month, he finally breaks.
"do you know how much of a tease you've been, huh?" he questions while giving a slap to your ass. he has you pressed against the wall, backside jutting out to flush against his moving hips. his pace is ruthless, one hand holding your own above your head and the other hooking two fingers into your open mouth. "i had to endure your slutty little outfits for all these weeks, shit, take it."
you moan uncontrollably, his thrusts becoming faster as the hand in your mouth snakes down to your core, playing with your clit.
"namjoon! too much, gonna cum," you whine out, grinding your hips back onto his. he gives another slap to your ass and speeds the fingers on your clit and you're cumming, arousal squirting onto his hand and the ground. his groans become louder as he feels the mess you made and angles his head down to suck along the column of your neck.
"fuck, baby, you're so good. so good for me. just let me use you a little longer." his pace slows to shallow thrusts that feel like they hit your guts until he comes with a low moan, filling your insides.
you are both panting, sweat and cum dripping off of each other. he lays his head on your shoulder and slowly pulls out of your cunt.
"so–" he clears his throat, "would you like to go out somewhere?"
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535 notes · View notes
ldysmfrst · 7 days
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American Mate - (4)
First Case of Alpha Space
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Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader
Status: Ongoing series
Chapter number: 4 of unknown
Word count for Chapter: 4132
Work count for Story: 16,244
Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine
A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children. One of which is special needs, and on 3/28, they lost 75% of their vision. I have had to take time off work to accommodate many MANY doctor appointments. I started a Ko-fi if you feel the heart to donate towards helping with the medical costs of appointments, medication, and modifications to the house, which insurance doesn't cover.
Warnings: (I am not good at this, but I will try. Let me know if I missed anything!!) NOT BETA READ!! This story will have a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, m/m, and m/f/m. This chapter does have Injury, Anxiety, Panic attacks, comfort, Alpha Space, and Cultural differences.
Story Summary: The Hybrid K-pop group BTS is on tour in America; of course, things don't start out the way they should, but after an encounter with Y/n, things change but will everyone follow Fate?
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Is it really that big of a deal that you got hurt? My god, you were 35 already. You have never lived a sheltered life. You have had your fair share of broken bones, twisted ankles, scrapes, and bruises. 
You are always going on adventures, riding horses, and climbing things you probably should not be climbing. The external scars you bear are associated with stories that are good conversation starters when you feel like showing them. 
Things would be difficult for a while because you are right-handed. You have a few days of sick time saved up that you can use to start with. Hopefully, this will help you gain some kind of compliance from your award left hand. 
Work, however, is going to be the hard part. Luckily, your work is typically done on electronics, meaning nothing has to be handwritten. Even if you tried to write left-handed, no one could read it. You would bet money doctors had better writing than you did. Dictation software to save the day!
Hearing Derek’s voice broke you out of your thoughts regarding your near future. Watching him act cautiously while interacting with the other hybrid was interesting. There is clearly a difference in how he acts with Yoongi than Evie. Giggling to yourself at the mention of being a mate with Derek gains the attention of both. 
“Oh, sorry. The thought of being a mate, much less to Derek, was amusing, I guess.” 
You missed the slight frown that briefly graced both men’s faces. Derek thought you were implying he wasn’t mate material, and Yoongi thought you believed you were not worthy of being a mate.                  
“Thanks Y/n. I let you know that I am a catch despite being a Beta. Besides, this isn’t about me right now. We need to get the leadership involved with what to do moving forward. Are you okay if we bring in the others?”
“Yes, please. I need to speak with Director Johnson, fill out an incident report… um or dictate an incident report, and then get to a doctor.” Attempting to stand up, you are blocked by the golden-yellow eyes that have not stopped watching your every move.
”Mr. Min, I need to get some things done and take care of my wrist.”
Yoongi’s eyes narrow, and a soft growl pours through the room, causing your eyes to widen. You look over your shoulder at Derek with a ‘what-the-F-did-I-do’ expression, only to be met with a smirk.
“Y/n, I don’t think you understand what is going on. You haven’t dealt with a situation like this before. You may love hybrids but you still have limited interactions with our culture and this dynamic.”
Walking backward toward the door, Derek continues, “With the state of mind that Mr. Min is in, it might be best if a packmate explains.”
Derek opens the break room door to face Hosek, Teahyung, Namjoon, and Jungkook, who are all staring. “Oh, Hi there.”
Then, as if someone had turned the mute off, they all started talking simultaneously. 
“Is Yoongi-hyung dropped yet?”
“그 사람 괜찮아요?”
“Why does she still smell hurt?”
“Wait, wait, wait, please,” Derek puts his hands up, motioning to stop.
“I do not know Korean for one and for two Mr. Min has gone into full non-verbal Alpha Space and I  am not sure he will be coming out of it anytime soon. However, one of you should go in to handle the situation  and she needs to talk with Director Johnson.”
At the mention of the director, a low growl came from Taehyung, causing Derek to take a step back and lower his eyes in an automatic response to a displeased Alpha.
The scent of calming leather gently flows over the group at the door as Namjoon steps forward. His mind is still reeling a million miles a second with you being their mate and you being injured. To top it off, Yoongi is on a deep level of Alpha Space.
“Sorry about that. I can come in, but the director is busy at the moment dealing with the playmates, corporate office, and Manager Sejin,” Namjoon apologizes as he enters the room.
He follows Derek to where his packmate and Y/n are situated at a table. Taehyung and Jungkook follow quickly.
They both kneel respectfully behind Yoongi. Their Alphas recognize that Yoongi is currently in charge of you, and it would be unwise to display anything that could be considered a threat by approaching you too quickly.
They both need to be close to you, and their instincts to be with their injured mate drive their actions. Looking you over for injuries, their eyes resting on your wrist with furrowed brows and set jaws. 
Taehyung’s eyes change to crystal blue as his tail flickers almost in time with Yoongi’s as he slips into Alpha Space. 
“Namjoon-hyung, Y/n is hurt. She needs a hospital, I think,” Jungkook says, his ears standing straight up on his head, one-pointedly focused on you and the other twitching between his Prime Alpha and the door. 
“It is not that big of an issue, Mr. Jeon, Mr. Min, and Mr. Kim.” Looking up from the trio in front of you and addressing the Prime Alpha, “Sir, I have specific protocols to follow due to company procedure. I have to talk with the Director.” 
A growl from one of the men in front of you freezes your words, unsure of what you did to cause their reactions. Internally, you groan because it seems all you get from them are growls, as if you vex them more than you humanly possible. 
“Miss Y/n, we have already talked to Director Johnson,” Namjoon says with a look of distaste. 
“He has been informed that you are now under the care of Bangtan Pack following hybrid customs.  It would be wise to refrain from talking about him at the moment, he did not leave a good impression with the pack.”
Your brows scrunch in confusion, making the hybrids want to coo at your cute face. Clearing his throat (aka his mind), Namjoon continues, “We have more pressing matters to attend to besides paperwork.” 
“You are injured, and we have to get you to a doctor. Manager Sejin is currently contacting one of our personal physicians that we normally use while on tour to have you treated.”
“What? Why would I use your doctor? I can just go to the local clinic.” Your scent spikes almost like a heavy perfume with anxiety with the flashbacks of your nightmare. 
“Please, I have taken up much of your time, and caused enough problems as it is. I can take care of myself. I don’t want to be a bother.”
At your words, you are surrounded by multiple growls and watched by now golden-yellow, crystal blue, and smokey gray eyes. Scooting back in the chair, you nervously ask, “Derek, what did I do?”
“Y/n, you really don’t get it do you? For as smart as you are, sometimes you can be oblivious.” He smiles and shakes his head, stepping back from the group and heading towards the door.
“Mr. Kim, as Prime Alpha, you might want to explain what is happening and what she should be expecting. Mind you, she has been fiercely independent for the last 15 years of her life.”
“I wish you the best with her. It won’t be easy, trust me, I know. Good Luck.” Derek bows slightly to Namjoon once he reaches the break room door.
Looking at you again, this time with a smile filled with adoration for his best friend and what he thinks your future may hold, Derek says, “Relax and have fun.” Then he turns and leaves the room. 
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As Derek leaves the room, he smiles at the remaining pack guarding the door. “Mr. Kim, Mr. Jung, and Mr.Park, I think your human does not understand what is happening.”
“Our human? So you know?” Seokjin questions with wide, cautious eyes.
Derek looks over his shoulder at the closed break room door. “At first, I thought it was just a typical Alpha reaction with him being the cause of Y/n getting injured, but his care and gentleness seemed to come from somewhere deeper. Add on the fact that your other two are fighting Alpha space. It would be hard to miss.”
“The other two?” someone asks.
Shaking his head, Derek looks back at the remaining three. “Yes, the younger Mr. Kim and Mr. Jeon’s Alphas surfaced just before I left. Your Prime Alpha is going to try to sort things out, but he may need some back up.”
“Meanwhile I am going to find our boss and see what needs to be done before you all run  away with her.” Derek leaves the pack to mull over the new information.
“Tae has never been one to control his Alpha well when one of us is hurt. I am not surprised if he slipped once near her. Kook always runs on instinct too, so it makes sense he slipped as well,” Seokjin contemplates. 
“Should we stay out here? Miss y/n’s pack member said it would be better to go in and help Namjoon? Three of us in Alpha space with an injured mate is not going to be easy,” Hosek adds. 
Nibbling on his lower lip, Jimin thinks of ways to handle the situation. Even though he is one of the younger packmates, keeping the pack calm is his gift. 
He just doesn’t know how to handle you yet, especially since you don’t know what you mean to the pack.
“Good, at least three of you are here, and I assume the rest have made their way into the room with Miss Y/n,” Manager Sejin says while walking up to the group. 
“I have spoken with Big Hit, the Director at Playmate Service Incorporated, and Dr. Blackwell. Everyone is onboard and the doctor is ready to go.”
“Thank you,” Seokjin says, feeling relief that no one seems to be fighting this. “Namjoon is in with the rest of the pack and Miss Y/n, we should go in. From what Mr. Gulley says, Miss y/n does not seem to understand the situation to the fullest. I just hope that Namjoon can clear some things up.”
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“Relax and have fun? What does he mean by that?” You mumble as you glare at the now-closed door that one of your best friends just shut. 
He willingly left you with four Alpha male idols. 
Three of them are kneeling on the floor with non-human eyes, and the Prime Alpha, looking around the room like the way to explain what's happening is painted on the walls.
Taking a breath, you say, “Mr. Kim, Prime Alpha… Sir. Derek is right. I have no actual experience with Alphas. I can tell that there must be some kind of instinctual drive going on, and there are trigger words or actions.”
“I don’t want to cause any more trouble than I already have. What do I do to make it easier for your pack?”
At your words, the kneeling Alphas gave a multitude of pleasant chirps. You looked at the three of them, a little confused. They seemingly smiled and made almost the same sound at what you said.
Okay, so they can growl and chirp. Your curiosity spikes when you think of what other animal-like sounds they can make as hybrids.
Drawing your attention back to him, Namjoon finds the words to explain what is happening, “Miss Y/n, you have done so much to help the Bangtan Pack feel welcome today.”
With a gentle smile, he continues, “So please relax, you have not caused any trouble, and we highly doubt that you will.” 
Thinking to himself, ‘At least, not in the way you seem to be thinking.’
“Alpha’s run with a higher level of instinct than your Beta packmember. As an Alpha, Yoongi instinctually feels responsible for your injury. In order to calm that instinct, a few things will most likely need to happen.” 
Watching as you seem to sit up with interest, he continues, “First things first, he and his Alpha need to get at least your injury treated.”
“He has to be the one to take me to get it treated? I can’t have him go with me to the clinic! There are fans and sasaengs and the media! What about your schedule? You always hear about the tight schedules Idols have and you have already spent all afternoon here over this.”
You start panicking about the hordes of people you hear about following the band around. God, the amount of bad publicity that would come from catching you and THE Suga of BTS at a clinic. You can’t imagine what nonsense they would come up with?
Your scent goes into an even heavier version; it takes on an almost alcoholic aspect. The kneeling Alphas instinctually send out calming pheromones while moving closer. 
Yoongi’s tail, still wrapped around your ankle, tightens while he gently rubs the back of your injured hand, which he is cradling protectively. 
Taehyung starts to purr softly, hoping that the sound will comfort you. 
Jungkook, on instinct alone, scoots up to your left side, nudges his head under your left hand, and rests on your leg.
The feeling of Jungkook’s head on your leg snaps you out of your thoughts and brings you back into the room. You hold still as you start to recognize similar comforting behaviors the Alphas are doing with those that Evie always does, allowing you to take a deep breath.
“Sorry. I was raised to take care of myself and not impose on others.”
“Miss Y/n, you are not imposing. Again, Yoogni ran into you while rushing out of the room, and it's his responsibility to make amends. Actually, as a bonded pack, it is our responsibility, too.”
“The pack? Like all of you? Is this why they are all like this, with their eyes and stuff?” 
Absent-mindedly, you run your fingers through Jungkook’s hair, softly scratching his scalp, soothing not only yourself but also the youngest Alpha. 
A soft chuckle escapes Namjoons as he watches your instinctual interactions with the youngest mate. “Yes, that is the best way to explain the eyes and stuff, as you put it.”
“Jungkook and Taehyung will find it easier to leave their Alpha Space since they are not the ones responsible for the injury but trying to be supportive to both of you.” 
Hearing a knock on the door, he calls, “Who is it?”
“Namjoon-ssi, it's Manager Sejin. I have some updates and a few questions. Can I enter?” The door opens slightly to reveal it’s him. 
At Namjoon's nod, he enters. The door remains open as the scents in the room are constricting in their density. He is followed by the rest of the pack, who take up guarding now from inside.
“Did you contact everyone?”
“Big Hit and the Corporate Director are on the same page and will follow the hybrid protocol, but details must be discussed once Miss Y/n has met with the doctor,” Manager Sejin reports to the Prime Alpha.
Moving to look at you, he continues, “I contacted Dr. Blackwell, thinking you may be more comfortable with a female doctor.” 
Glancing at the boys surrounding you closely, his scent changes with curiosity. He raises an eyebrow, looking at Namjoon. With a subtle nod, he confirms that something more is happening but does not move to explain.
Looking back at you, he gently smiles, “With the situation at hand, it may be best to limit other males around you until everyone is out of Alpha space. They tend to get territorial. Dr. Blackwell is on standby, ready to assess and treat you once we know where you will be.”
“Why wouldn’t she just come here, or I go to her?”
“Miss Y/n, Dr. Blackwell is a traveling physician. She doesn’t have a permanent office to use but she is well respected in both the human and hybrid communities.”
“Oh, I see. Well, umm…” you look at Namjoon and ask, “What option would be best for your pack?”
Namjoon’s chest puffs slightly at your show of respect to him as the Pack Prime Alpha despite the situation and your pain level. “Not to make you uncomfortable, Miss Y/n, but I think meeting Dr. Blackwell at our AirBnB would be best.”
You take a moment to think, your hand pulsing with pain. They cannot all fit in your flat; it's a mess after you tore through your closet to find the right clothes for today.
They don’t seem to like being here. Instinctually, even Derek and Evie prefer being in their dens when one of the three of you is hurt or sick. 
“Okay. If it is best for the pack, then I will go with you to the AirBnB and see Dr. Blackwell.” 
It’s almost as if a weight is lifted out of the room, allowing the pack to take a breath. 
“Yoon, Kook, and Tae. Can you give Miss Y/n some room? We have to take her to the pack house to see a doctor,” Namjoon says with a firm voice, gaining smiles from the men kneeling on the floor. 
Jungkook stands and curls into the Prime Alpha, his eyes returning to their natural color.
Taehyung rocks back on his heels but remains near. His body is more relaxed and his eyes are still crystal blue, shifting between Yoongi and you in wait.
After watching the two younger Alphas move around, your attention turns to the Jaguar kneeling with expectant but questioning eyes. 
 “Mr. Min, if I promise that you can stay with me, will you let me go get my things and then you can take me to the pack house?”
Yoongi’s face lights up with a gummy smile as he nods. Your breath hitches at the sight. How can the devastatingly handsome rapper look so adorable?
He stands up, his tail unwrapping from your leg. He softly takes both of your hands while he assists you in standing. You smile and mumble a small thanks as you step forward to leave.
“Prime Alpha, do you think I can talk with Derek briefly to let him know what is happening? This way he can talk to the direc… Boss. Talk to the boss and let him know that I am leaving for the day?”
“Yes, talking to him will be fine. He has been established as part of your familial pack and won’t be considered a threat to the pack if he comes around you now,” Namjoon answers, moving out of your way and motioning for the rest to let you pass.
Bowing slightly, “Thank you, Prime Alpha.”
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Making it to your desk is more complicated than one would think. 
Yoongi won’t leave your right side, while Taehyung won’t leave your left. Both act like it's code red and someone is trying to assassinate you. Then you have the rest of BTS trailing behind like some kind of posse. 
You keep your head down to avoid any strange looks or glares from whomever you pass. To your relief, you find Derek waiting at your desk with his head resting on his palms and a mischievous smile. 
“I see you are taking things in stride,” glancing at your plethora of bodyguards. “Did the Prime Alpha explain everything to you?”
Speaking up from the back of the group, Namjoon answers for you, “She is aware that we are responsible for her at this time and she will be treated at our temporary pack house by our doctor.”
You don’t miss Derek's look of concern as he tilts his head with curiosity at Namjoon. “I see, of course. You are just responsible for getting her treated.”
“Derek, can you please let the big boss know that I will be leaving with Bangtan Pack to seek medical care and once I have more updates I will let you both know?” 
Glancing at Yoongi and still seeing his lovely golden-yellow eyes, you try to ignore the slight flutter in your stomach, “I don’t think it would be good for me to talk with him myself still.”
Derek nods in response, “Manager Sejin has already given the boss a rough time frame for the near future. I suppose his managing skills came in handy. Don’t worry about us here. We can handle it while you heal.”
Standing up, Derek passes you your purse, which Taehyung takes. You try to grab it again, but only to have a black and white tail wrap around your arm and bring it back down to your side.
“No carry. Keep safe.” Taehyung almost grunts out in a deeper-than-deep voice, which short-circuits your brain.
Glancing at Derek out of the side of your eye, you see him briefly nod and smile encouragingly while he whispers, “It’s an Alpha Space thing. Best acknowledge his help.”
“Umm… Th-tha-hank you, Alpha,” you stammer out, willing the heat creeping up your neck to stop as your words pull a boxy grin from the Tiger.
“I think that is it,” you announce to nobody in particular. You smile awkwardly at Derek as he slowly approaches you.
“Y/n, you have been through so much. Not just today but in your life. You have always been the one to take the blame for others, working harder or longer than anyone else and caring for those who never return the favor.”
His eyes glance at the men surrounding you as he sees nods of understanding and looks of concern from them.
As a soft smile blooms on his face, he holds onto your good hand, “Take time for yourself and let this pack of Alphas take care of you. You deserve it more than anyone else I know.”
He pulls you into a hug. You briefly stiffen, waiting for the growling and pulling to start, but to your surprise, it doesn't. Relaxing into his hug, you take his words to heart.
A soft whisper in your ear, “You know you will always have Evie and me as your family pack, but right now, be open to the pack around you,” with one last squeeze, Derek steps back and returns to your desk.
“Now, shoo! Off you go. The boss said I’ll get to man the front desk for now.”
With a nod, you wave goodbye and face the hybrids behind you. After not finding Manager Sejin and a few others missing,  your eyes settle automatically on Namjoon, waiting for a clue as to what to do next. 
“Manager Sejin went down to get the cars. Seokjin-hyung, Hosek-hyung, and Jimin also went down because we won’t all fit in the elevator.”
“Oh,” you feel a slight tightening in your chest after realizing you didn’t even notice they had gone.
“Miss Y/n, let's take you to get looked at,” Junkook says while inching towards the office doors.
“Yeah, sure. Sorry, I have everything. Lead the way.” 
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You follow the bunny and wolf hybrid while still sandwiched between the tiger and jaguar. Walking through the halls, you gain some attention from the people you pass. 
You’re a mere human surrounded by some of the hottest Idols in the world right now. So why wouldn’t they?
Not willing to look up, you keep your eyes cast down to the feet in front of you as you try to avoid what you are a gazillion percent sure are looks of disgust and hate towards you.
Once the elevator doors open, the tiger lets out a low growl. Glancing up, you see two fellow PMS employees quickly scamper out of the elevator and down the hall. 
That added to the embarrassment for now and when you return to work.
Namjoon and Jungkook take the back corners. Looking at the men by your sides, they motion for you into the elevator next. 
However, when you go to stand in another corner, you are quickly ushered back into the middle with Yoongi and Taehyung in front of you. 
The energy calms down as the doors close. The four Alphas relax now that they surround you and will start taking care of you. 
Even if your trust in them starts with an injury, they know this is their chance to show you what it means to be taken care of, acknowledged as precious, and loved endlessly by the seven of them. 
As the doors part, you're greeted by the remaining packmates waiting for you, smiles warm and welcoming. They're surrounded by more men in black, whom you assume are bodyguards. 
Turning to look at you, Yoongi speaks for the first time since he entered Alpha Space,  “Take home. Keep safe.”
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seokjinsonlyone · 1 year
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this how i think bts would be if you both knew you liked each other but you weren’t dating yet
a/n: you guys been looking forward to this one hope it lives up to your expectations 🥹👉👈 and you should like totally lemme know what you thought about it after you're done
namjoon:
calls you on the phone every night; asks about your day and genuinely wants to know every little detail no matter how insignificant; gets shy when you ask about his
always extends an invite to you to join him at a museum; he goes to so many so often so he understands if you can’t go every time but he really likes it when you can go; likes hearing your thoughts on different pieces no matter how ridiculous bc you’re really not that well versed in art and architecture; he also likes the look in your eye and how intently you listen to him when he actually explains the intent behind the art
wraps his arms all the way around you, completely engulfing you when you hug; gives you an extra squeeze and rubs circles on your lower back before letting go
pet names start slipping out willy nilly; beautiful, princess, pretty girl, lovely; like the more and longer he likes you the less your name come out his mouth
he got mad rizz dog; like everyone once in a while he's gonna hit you with a pick up line that catches you off guard; gon have you giggling and blushing; but he also will be giggling and blushing afterward bc he gets shy after being cute
lowkey wants your approval for everything; doesn’t NEED it but he’d like it tho for sure; like would let you listen to his unreleased music and wait with bated breath while you listened until you gushed about how good it all was
if someone came up to him while y’all were hanging out and started flirting with him he would not notice at all; you’d wait until he was done carrying on the conversation and (semi)jokingly be like “so when’s the date” and he’d be soooo confused; “huh?” “they were totally flirting with you!” “really?” “if they smiled any harder they cheeks would’ve split open and did you see how hard they were laughing? you not that funny joon 🙄” “i’m sorry i didn’t notice. i promise i wasn’t flirting back tho. the only person i wanna flirt with is you.”
seokjin:
turns red whenever you’re around; like just constantly feels called out even if no one said anything bc it’s like he knows how he feels, all his friends know how he feels, and most importantly you know how he feels; embarazzing
becomes your local fruit dealer; like whenever his family or friends give him a bunch of produce from their various farms you’re definitely on the list of people he gifts them too; he gives you a bigger share than his members too <3
sends you pictures of the food he cooks and always saves you a plate after hearing you talk about how good it looks
asks for your switch code and invites you to play games with him whenever he has down time; like will stay up to 4am playing mario strikers or nintendo switch sports with you
gets really good at origami bc one time you met up and he felt awkward not having anything to get you so he used the gum wrapper in his pocket to make you a paper airplane; now every time you meet up he has a new paper sculpture; like you end up with a whole drawer of paper hats, planes, cups, flowers, frogs, ninja stars; has a cute little message written inside that makes you smile each time you unfold them
overly helpful; like he tryna do whatever he can for you; he’s holding your bag, opening doors for you, at one point he even goes so far as to lay his jacket on the bench y’all sitting on so your butt won’t be cold 💀
his number one goal when y’all are around each other is to make you laugh; like it doesn’t really matter if you’re laughing with him or at him as long as he hears that cackle he considers the interaction a success
yoongi:
not used to initiating any kind of interaction (outside of work) with people so he just lingers around you and hopes something happens; takes you a while to realize that’s his way of asking for attention
pretty much willing to go along with whatever to make you happy; like if you were complaining about never having anyone to go to the store with he’d offer himself up so fast and that’s how you’d end up with him in ulta helping you pick out lashes
has to get scolded by seokjin repeatedly bc the one text he sent him in the past month was left on read but he replies to you almost immediately every time you message him
silently takes care of you; like if you were eating together and got choked up on something he's just gonna get up and get you a bottle of water then slide it over without ever looking you in the eye; or if you complained about your hands being cold he'd start carrying around those hand warmer pouch thingies waiting for the next time you said something then he'd just put them in your pocket
starts opening up to you 🥺
it may not last for long but when you’re speaking with him he’ll look directly into your eyes
his hands flinch a lot when you're around; sometimes he's just hit with the inexplicable urge to hold your hand or touch you in some sort of way but he hasn't quite figured out y'all's dynamic yet so he's afraid to go for it
hoseok:
becomes zendayafied; like if you think it’s bad with jimin… you ain’t seen the worst of it; you might as well be richard pryor at the apollo the way he be cracking up over any and every little thing you do; his laugh can be heard halfway across the world
he stalks your ig page and replies to all your stories with a series of emojis; shows them to his friends and goes on and on about how cute you are
sends you a bouquet of flowers and texts you a little later on asking if you got them so you send him a picture of you holding them and he responds “☹️ i was hoping you’d be in the pic but all i see are flowers”
notices the little things about you; like he’s the type to compliment your earrings or your nail color
thinks everything you do is like super great; like if you drew a little doodle on a post it note or something he's gonna keep it and in his phone case; like 100% the type to actually display a painting you did in his house even if you feel like it looks like an 8 year old did it
has a special hyper focus on you; i just imagine y'all being at a party and you're in a group and he's being hobi ya know chopping it up with everyone kekeing and the like and you could be there next to him but not really actively participating in the conversation but if you tried to slip away to like get a drink or whatever he would grab your wrist and licherally stop mid sentence to ask you where you were going; would leave the group to go do whatever you wanted to do as well
adds a bunch of heart emojis to your contact in his phone; [yn ❤️😍💜🥰💞😘💖🤩💓😚💘]
jimin:
buys you a scarf when it gets chilly bc he notices you never have one on and he doesn’t want you to catch a cold; personally wraps it around your neck himself before you go outside
perpetual flirt; like there's some kind of innuendo to everything he says to you
is able to pick up on your moods scary easily so he knows when you’re a bit off and lets you know he’s willing to listen if u wanna talk; whether you choose to take him up on his offer or not he gives a really big, tight, long hug which helps you out more than you’re willing to admit
is easily flustered by you; like if you told him you liked his hair or his sweater or something he's gonna do that thing he does where he looks down, smiles, and then hides his face
always trying to impress you; like if you told him you admired people who were good at art he finna brush up on his skills a little and then next time you see him he gon have a sketch pad in fron t of him doing some crazy doodles; or if you told him you liked his voice when you're around he'll be acting like he's being nonchalant playing it cool but be putting in mad effort humming one of your favorite songs adding in some jazmine sullivan type runs
tries to meet up with you as much as possible; like your presence is addicting to him and he wants to take in all that he can; definitely calls you at some point if he can't see you that day even if it's like 1am and you're definitely asleep he's gonna chance it and call you; "are you awake?" "no" "oh i'm sorry i'm sorry i just missed you today" "missed you too mini" "i bet you looked pretty" "thank you but you have to let me get back to sleep" "alright alright imma let you go but one more question" "what's up?" *starts giggling* "what are you wearing right now?😏" "😐 i'm hanging up" *giggles even harder* "okay okay i'm done i'm sorry for waking you sleep tight beautiful" "night mini"; and then he's awake for another hour and a half staring at the ceiling with a big smile on his face thinking about how much he likes you
always walks you to your door when he's dropping you off home and won't leave until you inside with the door closed even if you insist on seeing him off as well so you just gotta watch him walk off from the window
taehyung:
gets shy after complimenting you; the “you look really pretty today” to tata mic face pipeline is strong
goes out of his way to find out when you'll be at certain places and then acts like it's a coincidence when y'all run into each other
feels all tingly inside when you like something he recommended; like if he recommended you a song and you listened to it later and then texted him about how much you loved it you would not be able to wipe the grin off his face
he fishes for compliments from you; like will get all dolled up in his 3 piece suit, hair slicked back just bc he knows you’ll be around and wants you to tell him he looks nice; if you don’t initiate it he will; will stand next to you and be like “ahh i just felt like wearing this today, it’s my favorite one. i think it looks nice. doesn’t it?”
squishes your cheeks between his hands when he deems you as being too cute
takes an active interest in your interests; like if you were really into some group and you told him about it he'd go and listen to their songs and send you his favorites and if they ever toured he's definitely getting y'all tickets to their show; or if you really liked to do paper mache or something he's gonna set aside a day for you to show him how to do it
has his arm around the back of your chair when y’all sit next to each other bc he can’t work up the nerve to actually put his arm around you
jungkook:
walks so close to you that your hand bumps together with every step; takes about five minutes of contemplation and hand flinching before he takes your hand in his; probably puts your conjoined hands in his pocket; looks down at you for about five seconds to gauge your reaction but quickly looks away when you make eye contact; tips of his ears are red the whole time
invites you over to play with his dogs, literally; no funny business is happening; he can’t be with you like that when he likes you as much as he does not until y’all are official just so he has confirmation that you’re on the same page
he be staring at you; like whenever you not looking at him he’s looking at you; watching, observing, admiring, mentally cataloguing all your little quirks, stockpiling them for a rainy day (re: waiting for the right time he can jokingly imitate you)
sometimes it feels like it’s one step forward two steps back with him bc every time he reaches what he feels is “the next level” he has to stop and reevaluate his feelings so he gets distant; but when he’s sure of how he feels again he goes back to following behind you like a lil puppy
his crush on you gets fatter whenever y’all are in a group conversation bc you always notice when he’s trying to say something but can’t find the right timing and create an opening for him to speak
always sits next to you; like there could be 10 empty seats in a room and he's always gonna jam himself as close to you as possible even if he doesn't plan on saying anything
y'all would have a couple late night convenience store dates; like y'all would be on the phone at like midnight talking about how you're craving ramen and snacks and next thing you know he's offering to pick you up and then you sitting next to him in da local 7/11 wit a cup ramen, a diet coke, and some sour gummy worms; he'd lightly gasp and go stiff for a second before relaxing a bit if you randomly laid your head on his shoulder after you finished your food complaining about how full and tired you were; would go back and forth with himself over whether he should just wrap his arm around you but ultimately just decides on leaning his head against yours in return
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chimcess · 2 months
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Waterlog || pjm (1)
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Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, Age Gap!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 17.4k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: discussions of significant death (does not happen in story), talks of a bad car accident, talks of drunk driving (please drinking responsibly), more than likely wrong swimming terms and poor understanding of how the Olympics actually works (I did so much research, pls be nice to me lol), strong language, lots of mental health discussions, reader has mommy and daddy issues, Older reader, Jimin is a complete sweetie, the tamest chapter of them all A/N: Well, well, well, look who came back. I first wrote Waterlog back in 2021, and while I enjoy the premise, I hate the finished product. I wanted to go back and edit/fix what I originally had, but when I tried it became so different, I was better off rewriting the entire thing. I hope you guys like this mini-series. If you would like to read the original go to my blog archive. Thank you for reading!
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Staring at the pool, I managed to calm myself with relative ease. Jin had been right, physical therapy had made things easier. The water glistened prettily in the lights, and I waited with bated breath for my trainer to come in. 
Emery was a sweet guy, pretty with a lip ring and tattoos, but with a surprising amount of shyness it was laughable. His softness was offset by his powerful muscles, and I enjoyed his never-ending sense of humor. Unlike Dr.Maddox, Emery treated me like I was a normal person. Not an Olympian who almost lost her leg in an accident, or the woman whose fiancé died. I was just Y/N, and it was a relief to be around him.
Running my fingers along the scars on my leg, I mindlessly drew patterns around them in the silence. It was not normal for Emery to take this long, but his assistant had said he was running behind due to another patient, so I was unbothered. I had planned my entire day around this, so I was in no rush.
Finally, the door swung open revealing a disheveled Emery. Breathing heavier than usual, he rolled his eyes at me in frustration before saying his pleasantries. Whoever it had been had gotten him worked up.
“Rough morning?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
With an annoyed sigh, he nodded.
“I shouldn’t say this, but I hope that woman never comes back here.”
I laughed, “We all have that someone. Don’t feel too bad.”
Shaking his head, I could tell it took restraint on his part not to rant and rave about the woman who had left. Emery and I were more friendly than most. I had been seeing him for over two years now, but we still kept a semblance of a professional relationship. Especially Emery.
“How’s the kids?” He asked, making small talk as we started getting ready for a swim.
I was the coach of a high school swim team in town, something I talked about quite a bit, and Emery always liked hearing about. He was a great water polo player but chose to go into physical therapy while he was in college. After seeing one of his friends get injured and how much physical therapy had helped him, Emery decided to change his major. Four years later, he says he could never see himself doing anything else.
“They’re doing well,” I said honestly. “We got a couple of freshmen on the team, but they’re doing a lot better than I thought they would.”
Emery hummed, offering me assistance getting into the pool. While walking had been mostly figured out, the obvious limp aside, I still had some trouble with getting in-and-out of things. Even my bathtub had to be switched out since I was unable to step over it. I still used the medical chair while in there, too.
The water was cool against my skin, and I felt instantly relieved. The dull aches and pains left as soon as I got into the water. Swimming to my usual spot, I waited patiently for Emery to join me.
“That’s great to hear,” He smiled.
Going to the edge of the pool, Emery grabbed a set of barbells and handed them to me. Taking them, the two of us went over the workout plan for the day. Pulling himself up on the pool’s edge, Emery picked up his stopwatch and told me to begin.
Getting on the interstate, I sang along to the radio as I made my way to Hoseok’s. The two of us had been friends since high school, our mutual love for swimming making it impossible to keep apart, and only growing with time. He was one of my biggest support systems after the accident. Both of us had retired years ago now, but I remembered our days as Olympians fondly. Those were the best years of my life.
A small group of our friends were getting together at his house to watch the summer Olympics this afternoon. The women’s swimming finals were happening today, and I knew two of the girls competing. Turning on my blinker, I quickly got off the interstate.
Pressing around my car’s radio screen, I went to my contacts and pressed Andy’s number. She was off today and in charge of getting everything together. Hoseok had tried to do it himself, but always seemed to forget who should do what and ended up buying everything himself. She picked up after the fourth ring.
“What’s up, sugar?” Andy greeted, her voice soft and light. Her Memphis accent was thick and brought a smile to my face. Everyone had made jokes about her being southern when we first met. “Don’t tell me you’re missing Nationals.”
I shook my head even though she could not see me.
“I’m on my way,” I replied. “What should I pick up? I completely forgot.”
Andy sighed, “You’re just as bad as Jin.”
Seokjin was Andy’s husband. The two of them had been together whenever they moved to Colorado, married before I ever met them, and became quick friends with Hoseok when they moved to the Springs. That was how I had met them. Whenever their daughter Dani was born, Andy had asked me to be her Godmother and I sobbed in her lap. They were my closest friends next to Hoseok. Jin was indeed very forgetful, though, and the jibe made me chuckle.
“Cut me some slack,” I argued. “I’ve been working out for two hours straight.”
I could hear the smile in her voice, “Just get some pizza or something. We’re picking up some wings and Hobi’s in charge of the drinks. Minho and Tilly are bringing… something. I don’t even know anymore.”
Fully laughing now, I saw a Little Ceasars up ahead and got into the correct lane. Minho and Matilda were loose cannons when it came to our parties. While sweet, and fiercely loyal, I found myself wondering why I hung out with them at times. We were night and day personality wise, but I loved them dearly. Minho would probably bring some Korean side dishes from home, and Matilda would pick up a few packs of ramen from the store. Andy was stressing over nothing again. I hoped she was getting proper rest on her days off.
“I’m at Little Caesars,” I told her, parking my car. “I’m going to get the basics. How many things of Crazy Bread should I get?”
She thought for a second before replying.
“Five?” She was definitely unsure about her answer.
It was hard to gauge just how hungry everyone would be, and Jin was a bottomless pit.
“Sounds good,” I said instead, already thinking about getting more.
“Drive safe. See you in a bit.”
“See you, Andy,” I unplugged my phone from the charger.
Pressing it to my ear, I pressed my start button and turned it off. I climbed out of my car and started walking to the store.
“Love you,” She sing-songed playfully.
“Love you, too,” I replied. Opening the door, a worker greeted me with a smile. “I’m about to order.”
Shoving my phone in my back pocket, I gave the worker an awkward smile before telling him my order. I ended up getting seven bags instead of five. Just in case. Dani really liked the stuff and Jin could smash an entire bag by himself. While I waited for the cheese pizza to come out of the oven, my phone started ringing.
“Hello?” I answered, unable to check the caller ID while the cashier shoved the crazy bread into my arms.
“I heard from a little bird that you’re thinking about competing again.”
I grinned and thanked the cashier as she handed me my other pizza. 
“Hello to you, too, Frank,” I replied. “And your little birdie wouldn’t happen to be Hoseok, would it?”
Frank and Sarah Boone had become a part of my life after the accident. They ran a local support group to help those affected by drunk drivers to get connected with resources and therapy. The two had lost their son when he decided to drive home drunk from a party and used the group as their own coping mechanism. They were wonderful people and owned their own joint coffee shop and bookstore in Denver. 
“Won’t say names,” He chuckled, “But it might have come from a certain part-timer. So, is it true?”
I placed the boxes in the passenger seat and rounded my car. This was not a conversation I was expecting to happen today. I had brought up the idea to Hoseok since the Olympics were coming up next year, but I was not committed to it. I was enjoying my new job coaching and did not think I was in any condition for competition. When he brought up the Paralympics I laughed. Those competitors were in better shape than I was, and I doubted I would qualify. I was disabled but my disability did not (as far as I knew) carry over into the pool.
“I was just talking shit, Frank,” Backing out of the parking space, I put in Hoseok’s address and started to drive. Switching over to my car’s phone, I put my phone down and looked at the road. “You know I’m happy with my life right now.”
He made a grunting noise that told me he did not really believe me. No one did. All of them were sure I was miserable about my career ending far before its time, and while that may be true, I felt more loss about the life I was supposed to have than winning medals. I missed Namjoon more than any medal. Frank and Sarah understood that.
“I know that,” He cleared his throat, and I could hear the congestion. Frank had come down with a nasty case of walking pneumonia two weeks ago and was still recovering. “Just got a little excited is all. It would be nice to see you putting yourself back out there.”
It would be nice to see myself back in the pool, I could admit that. I had dreams of it at times. Being a competitor was a part of who I was. From the first time my dad took me to my swim classes when I was six all the way until I claimed my eighth Olympic medal, everyone had said there was nothing I hated more than losing. I was fiery, free-spirited, and kept my eyes on the prize. It was the thing Namjoon loved about me the most. That made me frown.
“I left a champ,” I forced a laugh. “Need to save some gold for the rest of them.”
Hiding behind humor was a pastime. 
Frank laughed, oblivious to the hollowness in my tone. “Heard they have a new guy taking your place.”
That made me snort, “He’s not taking my spot. Totally different competitions, my friend.”
“Winning gold like you, that’s for damn sure.”
It must be Jimin Park. The kid turned up on the scene a year after my accident. He was a very, very talented swimmer. Fast as a bullet with the best butterflies I had ever seen, Park was a force to be reckoned with in the men’s league. It was a joy to watch him swim and this year would be his first Olympics. Hoseok and I were very excited to watch him.
“If you’re talking about Park,” I chuckled. “He’s far from new. He’s been competing for a few years now. First Olympics, though.”
“He’s young, ain’t he?”
I nodded, “23, I think.”
Truthfully, I did not know how old he was. I remember the buzz around how young he was when he first broke out on the scene. He was eighteen when he took home gold all season before a family emergency took him out of the Olympics last minute. No one knew what really happened, but his team had said his brother was in an accident, tragically losing his life, and Jimin was prioritizing his family. He’s competed every year since and with the Olympics next year, I was certain Park would be there. He deserved it.
I was parked in front of the house now and from the cars outside, I was the last person to arrive. Frank and I talked for a few moments. It was cute how much he had learned about swimming so we could be buddies. Sarah was the only person who recognized my face when I first started going to the meetings and her husband was determined to get me to open after weeks of sitting in bitter silence in the back. 
We hung up after I promised I would make it to the meeting next Thursday. Frank was not happy about me skipping the past two weeks, but understood I was taking some time to myself. My boys were going to compete this year, I had fought tooth and nail for that funding, and the extra hours at school were exhausting. Jeremy and Evan showed promise, but they knew how to drive me up the wall with all of their simple mistakes.
As I suspected, the party was in full swing. Matilda and Minho were laughing loudly on the sofa, Hoseok sporting a beer in the recliner next to them, and Dani practicing her gymnastics in the middle of it all. I could hear the commentators talking animatedly about the girls, who they believed would come out on top and highlights from the night before, but I never really paid them any mind.
“Pizza’s here!” Minho boomed, practically running to greet me.
I laughed, handing over the boxes, “Need help carrying the rest in.”
Matilda offered, happily taking my car keys and leaving the house. Minho had disappeared into the kitchen. Dani spared me enough attention for a smile and wave before launching into excited pleas for me to watch her new moves. 
“Super cool, babe,” I smiled sweetly after her handstand. Dani was not particularly good at gymnastics. She started later than the other girls, rarely did anything she was actively afraid of, and hated her coach. Andy was already looking for a better gym, but I just thought she should start pointing her in another direction. Dani loved dancing and she would be a wonderful ballerina or figure skater if given the proper training. The Kim’s, however, seemed fine watching her deal with gymnastics and cheerleading. “You’re getting better.”
Dani beamed, “Daddy said the same thing.”
Flipping the right way around, her hair coming out of its messily tied bun and falling down past her shoulders. Brown, loose waves made her look so much younger than her eight years, her small stature only selling the illusion even more. Her skin was smooth, and she always looked as though she had been playing outside in the sun, a constant tinge of pink beneath her sandy skin. Her features favored her father, large eyes, long face, and plush, pillow-like lips, but after meeting Andy’s parents, I could see her grandmother hidden within the mischievous glint in her eyes and too small ears.
“Your dad’s a smart guy,” I joked. 
She continued to babble away as I made myself more comfortable, kicking off my shoes and tossing my hat onto the small buffet table that sat above the shoe rack. Matilda came back inside, her arms filled with bags of bread, and I took two from the pile. With a thankful, thin-lipped grin, she also complimented Dani’s moves before disappearing around the corner in the direction of the kitchen.
“Dani,” Hoseok seemed to have finally grown tired of hearing the girl talk. I would imagine this was all he had been hearing since he arrived. “Do you want to color with me?”
The little girl clapped happily, her eyes bright and shining, before abandoning her mat to gather a few coloring books and her massive hoard of crayons. Hoseok looked at me then, a sly smile on his face before winking. I chuckled and shook my head. He always did that to make her shut up. 
I left the living room before Dani came back. I loved her dearly, but I could admit she talked too much. It was a good thing for a kid her age to be so social but that did not mean I wanted to hear her every waking thought. Andrea and Seokjin were the only parents in our little group, and I imagined it would stay that way for a while. Even if my dreams of children were still alive, I did not have anybody I wanted to take on that responsibility with.
Minho was eating the pizza, as expected, while Matilda had already claimed her own bag of Crazy Bread. Andy and Jin were snuggled up at their dining table, his arms securing her to his chest, and she curled into him. I loved watching them together. I had grown up in a house with two people who hated one another, barely kept up a facade of civility before my mother skipped down to be with her new boyfriend in Florida leaving my dad and I behind in Pennsylvania. We made it work but things were never the same after that. It made me happy to know little Dani would feel the love radiating in her home as she grew up. I had never seen two people so enamored with one another in my life- not even Namjoon and I.
“How was therapy?” Minho asked after we exchanged pleasantries. “Hoseok said you were talking about competing next season.”
I laughed in disbelief. That man did not know how to keep his mouth shut. I said the same thing I told Frank over the phone, and he scoffed. Minho never truly laughed, if I was honest. It was always a snicker, scoff, or chuckle. He was a man of little words and even fewer outbursts of joy, and I found his versions of those things just as reserved as the rest of him. He was the most expressive when he smiled, but those were just as rare as a genuine laugh. Dani managed to squeeze more out of him than anybody else. 
“Stop meddling!” Andy scolded the other man from her spot in Seokjin’s lap. 
“Never,” My friend replied, amusement clear in his voice.
“Never!” Dani echoed, voice louder than Hoseok’s. She was giggling happily alongside him, and I rolled my eyes. He was her favorite. “Never!” She repeated again, pleased when Hoseok laughed. “Never!”
“That’s enough,” Jin’s voice was even and smooth.
Dani did not shout again but we could all hear her and Hoseok attempting to cover up their laughter. Andy smiled fondly. Their little friendship had warmed her heart. After Dani, Andrea had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. It had come back six times before her doctor said she needed to get a hysterectomy. She grieved the children they would never have, the large family she dreamed of stolen from her, but once Dani was old enough to walk, she had been glued to Hoseok’s hip.
Hoseok for all he spoke about never wanting children, he adored Dani. His family was small, he and his sister the only children, but they were extremely close. She lived in New York City as a fashion designer and got married last year, and I always had the feeling Hoseok felt lonely without her. Dani was a welcome break from routine and made him feel special. It was sweet but I hoped my friend would find someone to share his life with someday. 
“It’s starting,” Hoseok announced.
It was a great day for the U.S. Opal Simmons was one to look out for. She was the oldest woman on the team, a shocking 24, but she could out swim a vast majority of them. Her freestyles were amazing, earning her a gold with Japan just a few points behind. I was hopeful she would be able to come out on top in her distance swim. While not the fastest in the pool, the girl knew how to pace herself. The cameras cut to the shot of one of her coaches smiling triumphantly at the performance.
He was a good friend of mine, Oswald Bunch. He had been heavily involved with the Olympics for years now, promoted to one of the lead coaches back in 2020, but I remembered when he was still competing. A few years older than me, Ozzie was known for his backstrokes and long-distance swimming, and we bonded whenever we got the chance to meet in London back in 2012.
That was my first Olympics. I was a fresh-faced 20-year-old on a mission. My team at the time was stoked to have me around and I was excited to be there. I had built up a solid reputation over the course of two years, winning seven medals my first adult-competitive season, and the high was incredible. Back then, I was always the one to beat at the breaststroke and therefore, the medleys were in my favor as well. I walked away with 4 golds that year, and again in 2016. The accident happened a year later, but I left the competitive world with 8 gold Olympic medals and 19 world champion gold medals. Katie Ledecky held the record now, but for a time, I was the most decorated female swimmer in history. I was excited when I was finally passed up, happy for the younger woman.
Ozzie was the man, but sadly never got out of Michael Phelp’s shadow. It was not his fault. That man was insane in the water and would become the most decorated Olympian ever. Bunch was a great swimmer, but I did not know a single person who could compare to Phelps. Hoseok, maybe, but he only had 12 gold medals. Phelps had 23.
“Simmons looks great out there,” Hoseok praised, a large smile on his face.
“Her butterflies could use a little work,” I murmured back, already seeing how I could fix it with some extra exercises. “It’s slowing down her freestyle. What else is she scheduled for?”
“I think she’s doing the 200-meter freestyles and the medley relay,” He replied, taking a sip of his beer. “Bunch is banking on her pacing.”
“She won’t win those,” I was positive. “She’s just going to get tired. Breaststrokes are obviously not her thing.”
He laughed, “You’re the breaststroke queen, Y/N. No one's as good as yours.”
I shrugged, “Ledecky is a great swimmer.”
“Never said she wasn’t,” He sipped. “Her freestyles are killer. Girls could never beat you in breaststroke or a medley. You’re untouchable there.”
It made me smile despite myself. Hoseok was right, those were my competitions. Even if Katie had surpassed my record for most gold medals ever, I still had more Olympic medals than she did, and they were in completely different events. I could have kept my title had the accident never happened. I would have. Even if we were friendly, Ledecky would have been my competition, and I would have fought hard to keep the record.
“What’s Jimin doing this year?” Matilda asked as the women’s scores were posted. Opal would be a strong contender. “Anyone know?”
I nodded, “I haven’t watched every competition, but he’s sticking to what he does best. Didn’t he swim the 200 yesterday?”
“Yeah,” Hoseok replied. “He’s skipping out today and doing his individual tomorrow. Swimming back-to-back after that. Kid’s a fucking animal in the water.”
I couldn't agree more. As I stared at Opal’s smiling face, her pale blonde hair and bright blue eyes, I wished I had been able to watch Jimin instead. She was cold and impassive even with a large, perfectly white grin that took up most of her face. In fact, I found her quite boring outside of the water. No flair or features that set her apart. Just a tall, well-built blonde with a nice smile. Ozzie would have to work hard to make her memorable.
“Simmons did well,” I yawned. “It’s getting late, though, and I have work in the morning.”
The goodbyes were quick, and Dani made me promise to take her roller skating soon. There was a girl at school making fun of her and she wanted her “super cool” and “famous” aunt to tell them off. We all laughed, and I told her we could go this weekend after gymnastics practice. 
My drive home was uneventful. It was already dark out, something that bothered me more than I would ever admit out loud, and I never turned on the radio. I preferred to drive in absolute silence, eyes and ears glued to the road. I had only started talking on the phone recently.
I was much worse after the accident. I refused to get inside of a car for weeks and if I did, I was a mess. No one was allowed to be a distracted driver either. No radio, no phone, no conversations. Nothing. Jin had been the default chauffeur during that time and put up with my anxiety better than the others.
It was close to a year before I tried to sit in the front seat again. Another five before I got behind the wheel. For hours I would sit in the garage with my hands on the steering wheel staring off into the distance. I was still in a wheelchair for most of my daily activities and a very obvious limp made me too self-conscious to be seen. Isolating was easy. Keeping the others away was more difficult.
My drives started with me just backing out of the driveway. I went around the block a few weeks later, hands shaking and Andy trying her best to soothe me in the passenger seat. I did not drive past the Whole Foods two minutes away from my house until after the second year. Things were easier after I ditched the wheelchair and got more open to the idea of therapy.
Moving out of Denver was the best decision I ever made, the Springs were easier to drive in and the traffic was not as awful. Andrea and Jin bought in Black Forest once I was settled in Briargate, so loneliness was never an option.
Matilda almost moved in after the housewarming party Andy threw for me. She said it was far too big for one person and the neighborhood was to die for. I laughed her off at the time not really wanting to admit how nice it sounded.
Nestled in Fairfax, my house was a beautiful piece of architecture. The striking brick and wood front exterior provided a warm welcome, with teal trimmings bringing a fresh feeling to the otherwise plain color scheme. With five bedrooms and four bathrooms, I dreamed of the day I was able to fill them all. A dream that I hoped would come before I hit 35.
 Pulling up to the house, I waved to Chika next door. The old woman raised her hand, still nursing a large mug of what I assumed to be tea and smiled. They were lovely people and we often helped one another out whenever we could. Chika liked to bring over food if she cooked and I paid my landscapers to keep with their lawn.
“Late night?” Chika called out from her front porch. 
“Went to a friend’s house,” I replied.
“Good,” She meant it. “Glad to see you getting out of the house.”
I smiled but was not sure how well she could see my face in the dark.
“Yeah. Night, Chika.”
“Night, Y/N.”
I showered quickly and sipped on a cup of chamomile tea before heading off to bed. After taking my night medications, one to force myself to sleep while the other blocked the never-ending nightmares, I climbed into bed. I was able to play a single game of solitaire before they both kicked in. I fell asleep with the sound of gentle rain humming in the background.
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“Let’s go, guys!” I yelled, blowing my whistle.
The twelve boys waited, their small talk coming to an abrupt end. We had just finished warming up and I allowed all of them a short water break. I was a huge advocate for rest periods. No one needed to pull a muscle or fatigue early due to over working. I had a 2800-yard routine prepared, 800 of those done during our warm-ups, and the rest divided between our main set and cooldowns.
Jordan, our captain, was smiling happily. He was such an excited kid, and his positivity was contagious. While some of the boys were disappointed when I first chose him to replace our old captain after his graduation, I was sure his spirit would do everyone some good. It did not take long for the others to come around and he was beloved.
“Alright, so we have a 1600 main set. In between each of our reps, we will be doing a switch out of easy breast and backstrokes. Clear?”
“Crystal!” They all replied in unison.
“Alright. That's what I like to hear,” Flipping through my clipboard was more for show than anything. I used to rely on it heavily when I first started teaching since brain damage messed with my short-term memory, but I had been doing this long enough to know what was happening. Now it was just a way for me to write notes about their performances. “We’re starting with a 4x100 with 15-second rest; the first 25 butterfly. 3x100 with 10-second rest; again, first 25 butterfly. Following?”
No questions were asked, and a few guys voiced they were good for me to keep going.
“Good. Then we have a 2x100 with 5-second rest. First 25?”
“Butterfly,” Jordan replied.
“Thank you, Abbot. Okay, and we’re finishing up with 8x50 freestyle. Fast and easy.”
All twelve of them began to prepare to take their mark. One by one they stood on their blocks and waited for me to make the call. I admired them all for a moment. You could see the difference in each one of them. Those who were confident stood tall, their shoulders squared, and head held high. Newcomers were still figuring out their place on the team but were eager to prove themselves. Two of them would be leaving us this year, Gabriel and Marcus, and neither one of them were continuing to swim after graduation. It was a sad thought, but I was happy with how they carried themselves. They had both come a long way.
“Take your mark,” My voice echoed. Each boy got into their starting position as I watched them like a hawk. One of the freshmen, Phineas, needed major work on his form. I would talk to Jordan about it. Grabbing hold of my stopwatch, I took a deep breath. “Go!”
Marcus was the first in, like always, and I ignored him. I knew he was fully capable of taking care of himself. Phineas was the weakest link in my chain right now. He was struggling, his arms growing tired and his speed nonexistent. The other freshmen, Tobias, or as the guys called him, Twig, was not much better. He had more strength, but I chopped that up to his size. I would need to really start working some more beginner drills to get them in shape. Jordan and Gabriel would be more than happy to give up a Saturday or two to help out. 
Marcus was the first one finished and I marked his time. Still a tenth of a second faster than Jordan. After Jordan came Gabriel and then Joseph and Anthony. I was disappointed in Jett’s time, but I would invite him to the weekend practices with the others. He needed some foot and hip exercises. Twig came in before Phineas, but every other boy was already out of the water by the time they made it back. Phineas was visibly upset, and I made a note to pull him to the side after practice to cheer him up. 
Practices typically lasted two hours and the boys swam hard. Phineas did, in fact, perk up after I told him I was noticing tons of improvements in his performance. Twig just seemed happy he was not the worst guy in the water. After talking it out with Jordan, we decided on a good weekend time for extra practices, and I stayed behind to print off a poster and signup sheets for the rest of the boys. I had a feeling almost everyone except Marcus would show. He had a part-time job now and his weekends were full. 
Sitting in my office, I poured over my observations and timecards. With a team this large I should have an extra set of hands to help with timing. I sent an email to the principal asking about helpers and got back to the nitty gritty. 
All of them could work on something. Phineas might have needed the most work, Twig not far behind him, but my most seasoned swimmers had room for improvement. Jett was still struggling with maximizing propulsion, Anthony and Milo needed to get better water balance, and Gabriel’s pull could be better. Even my best swimmers, Jordan and Marcus, could use a bit of refinement in technique. It was nitpicking but they were too talented to give up on their potential.
It was close to nine when my phone began to ring. I knew it could not be any of my usual calls. Andy was working nights this week and Jin was fast asleep at home with Dani. Minho was in bed by eight, Matilda would never bother me this late, and Hoseok hated phone calls. Checking the caller ID, I was shocked to see Ozzie’s name.
“Hello?” I answered tentatively, afraid he might have called me by accident.
“Otter,” Ozzie greeted me happily. He seemed so delighted that I answered, I smiled even though I hated the nickname. “How’s life going?”
I chuckled, “Rockin’ and rollin’. Saw your girl last night. Looks great, Oz.”
“Appreciate it,” He was so dismissive of it I became interested. This was not a catch-up phone call or else he might have hooked onto the bait. My stomach twisted in anticipation. If it was not for pleasantries, then it was for work and that was something to be excited about. “Still teaching high school?”
“Mhm,” I fiddled with my pencil, papers forgotten. “My boys team is strong. I only have three girls that signed up so we’re just training during P.E. and hoping some more join.”
We chatted a bit more about the team. The longer it went on the more knots I had. Oswald was fishing for something, and I wanted to figure out what. After telling him about Phineas, I asked what the random call was about.
“Always cutting to the chase,” He joked.
I did not laugh.
“Alright, you caught me,” Ozzie sighed. “Look, the Olympic team is looking for another assistant coach and your name came up a few times.”
My mouth went dry. I had heard about Tiara Marsh leaving to focus on her family. She had a baby and stepped down a few months after coming back from maternity leave. I respected the decision and messaged her my congratulations. Ozzie had taken the lead coach position three years ago with Todd Packer as his partner. The other assistant, Drew Jones, was a sweet girl from what I heard and working with her would be a dream. 
Still, it was an impossible task. Trying to imagine myself on the sidelines, coaching the next big names in sporting history with a massive squad behind me made my stomach queasy. I doubt any of them respected me. My leg was ruined, my career burned out just as quickly as it started, and I never had the chance to reach my peak. Now I am a 30-year-old washed up recluse. Just thinking about the media frenzy made my breathing get a little heavier. 
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Oz,” I murmured.
“I told them you wouldn’t go for it,” He replied, unsurprised. “They’re going to approach Storm Kline instead.”
“Oh,” Now I was confused. “Why’d you bring it up then?”
“Because I got to thinking,” I braced myself. Ozzie was known for his big, bright, dumb, impulsive ideas. “I knew the Olympics would be asking too much of you. Cameras and interviews are the last thing you want after the fucking circus you went through last time.”
That was an understatement. Circus did not even begin to describe the absolute hell the media put me through after the accident. So many speculations and insensitive remarks managed to ruin any peace I could have gotten during that time.
While I was in a coma, no one knowing if I would ever wake up again, the news thought it wise to harass my friends and family. My old coach, Victor Stanley, was assaulted whenever he left the hospital. When news got out that Namjoon was pulled off life support, his mother and father were so sick and tired of people parked outside their house they packed up and moved away before I even woke up. I wanted nothing to do with the media after that.
“It’s a little different but I think you’d be a great fit for the job,” Ozzie continued. “One of my boys, Jimin Park, is in need of a personal coach. His mom is sick and he’s wanting to stay in Michigan for as long as he can before coming out to the Springs to start training for Paris.
“I almost called Jung, but I don’t think the two of them would get along well enough for this to work. You’re the only person I know I can trust with him, and from what I’m hearing, you’re one hell of a coach already.”
This was somehow even more nerve wracking than the assistant position. I had never trained one-on-one before, at least, not long term. I was sure I could do it, but a high schooler was very different from an Olympic athlete relying on me to keep him in shape for the season. 
“What happened to Hamilton?” I asked, still unable to wrap my head around the situation. “I thought he was Park’s personal trainer.”
“He was but the two fell out when Jimin decided to stay in Michigan. You know how Matt is.”
That I did. Matthew Hamilton was a massive asshole, and that was putting it lightly. He was one of the best trainers around and got results which was why he still had a job despite his rotten attitude. I had the misfortune of running into him quite a few times over the years and my distaste only grew with each passing. I could imagine that conversation not going over particularly well.
“But what about my team?” I asked, staring at my desk. All of my plans and strategies were mapped out and I was ready to put them to use. My boys were counting on me and leaving them felt wrong. “I don’t want to leave them high and dry, Oz.”
“Ask Hoseok to cover for you,” I rolled my eyes at his blase attitude.
“This is my team.”
“And this is Jimin Park.”
I hated that I understood where he was coming from. Most of my boys would never go off to swim professionally and their skill set was not on par with anyone out right now. They were not committed to the strict regime that would take and I did not get paid well enough to justify the extra hours. Jimin, however, would pay me extremely well and I would get that experience under my belt. I might even learn a few new things to add to my own drills.
“Give me a few days to think about it,” I finally conceded. “And set up a phone call, or meeting, or something with the kid. Need to make sure we’re on the same page before we waste one another’s time.”
Ozzie laughed, “I think you’ll get along just fine, but sure. I think he’d appreciate the gesture.”
Nothing of much importance was said after that. We hung up with promises of talking soon and then I was alone once more. My office was still just as messy and swamped with paperwork as it had been before, but it all looked different. It felt like I was already gone, and a deep homesickness settled in my chest. I stared at the papers in front of me and sighed before shooting a text to Hoseok.
As I expected, everyone had told me to jump at the opportunity. Hoseok even said if I didn’t, I would be the biggest idiot he had ever met. Matilda asked if she could come (I told her no), and Dani just seemed bummed that we could not hang out anymore. Andy and Jin were the most supportive of the situation while Minho the most cautious. He was worried about the media catching wind of something and causing a frenzy. After Matila pointed out how old news I was, I felt a little less afraid of that possibility even if it was a hit to my ego.
Ozzie seemed pumped when I told him I was open to the idea if Jimin and I seemed to mesh well. I was firm in my decision to talk to him before making any concrete plans, and from what Ozzie told me, my future student was extremely receptive to the idea. I also learned that Opal was jealous of her fellow Olympian, but I tried not to let that puff up my chest. 
That was why I was sitting in my home office, hair nicely styled and a light layer of makeup on waiting for Jimin to join our Zoom call. I wore blue since Ozzie said it was his favorite color, but the material was slowly driving me insane. While the color was nice, deep blue and sparkled whenever the light hit it, it was scratchy and irritated the skin around my chest and shoulders. I almost got up to change but a small icon with the letters ‘JP’ in the center popped up before I could.
“Hello?” A soft voice called out.
“Hey,” I replied with an awkward wave. “Can you see me?”
“Yeah, can you see me?”
I shook my head, “Just your icon.”
Cursing under his breath, Jimin apologized for the tech issues. I adored how nice he was to listen to. It was unique, gentle and raspy, but also feminine in its softness. There was no bass or hardness, every sound and syllable light and airy with self-depreciating laughter after every insult he threw at himself. Apparently, Jimin was not great with technology and always had a difficult time with cyber meetings.
“This is fine with me,” I tried to reassure him. “I don’t need to see your face to talk.”
“No,” He agreed, “But it’s a little awkward for you to have your camera on and mine’s off.”
I could hear him clicking around. “I’ll turn mine off, too, if that helps.”
He shut that down immediately and continued clicking and typing. After a few more minutes, he found his problem. Then the icon was gone and there he was.
His face was round, his cheeks plump, and chin soft. The first thing I noticed about him was his lips. They were rounded and plump like a baby duck with a soft, heart shaped cupid’s bow that led up a small, button nose. Everything about his face was soft except his eyes which were almond shaped and flicked outwards like a cat’s. His hair was pitch black and parted down the middle, framing his face and making his pale skin look like snow. When he caught a glimpse of himself in the camera a large smile took over his face and I felt the wind get knocked out of me. 
“Can you see me?” He asked.
I nodded, “Yeah, I think we’re in the clear.”
Neither one of us knew what to say for a moment. He swirled around in his chair in search of his water bottle. He stood up, excusing himself for a moment. He was also wearing a blue shirt, a pair of black pants, and seemed just as nervous as I did. He left the room while I sat and thought about him.
There was one word to describe Jimin: pretty. His soft lines and tiny waist made him look so much smaller than I had imagined him. All of the years seeing him on the tv did nothing to compare to watching him walk around a little room in his home. Without a cap and goggles, Jimin was angelic, and I felt uneasy. How was I supposed to work with someone I found this attractive?
“Sorry,” He was back now, a large Yeti cup in hand. “I should’ve made sure I had this already.”
“No worries. I’m not in any rush.”
He sat back down, and I finally noticed the large oval necklace he was wearing. I did not know what it could mean to him, but I had seen him with it a few times at events. It was simple and silver, no gem in the center of the pendant, and sat directly over his heart. He took a sip from his cup, snapping me back to action.
“How’s your mother doing?” I asked. “Ozzie told me she wasn’t well.”
His expression saddened me, and I hated that I brought it up. I knew how much I did not enjoy talking about Namjoon’s death, and while his mother was still alive, she was not well. Unfortunately, I could not take the question back.
“I’m not sure how much you know,” He started, leaning back in the leather computer chair. “She has melanoma and isn’t doing chemotherapy anymore. I’m staying in Michigan so I can spend as much time with her as possible.”
My heart ached for him and his family. Cancer had a reputation for ripping families apart and I could only imagine how this was affecting the young swimmer. My own grief was long and drawn out, guilt and shame hanging over my head for years before I was finally able to let it go, but the death itself was swift. Joon was dead and buried before I woke up from the coma, but I could recall every detail of that hospital room when Victor told me what happened. I hated to think about watching the life slip from him, knowing he would die, and knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
“I understand. I’m really sorry to hear that.”
I knew it was inadequate, but I did not know this man well enough to say my thoughts out loud. Maybe later, after a few weeks of training together, I could get the courage to let him know I would be there if he needed someone to talk to. I knew all about navigating grief and I would happily help him stay motivated through this horrible, tragic time. Jimin stayed quiet so I took it upon myself to get the ball rolling again.
“I know you’re going through a difficult time right now, and I just want you to know that I get it and I see you. If we work together, I will make sure your mental health comes first. Whatever you need, whatever your family needs, will always come before getting in the pool.
“You were working with Hamilton before this, and whatever happened between you two- I don’t know, that’s none of my business, but I can promise you I will try my best to make sure our professional relationship doesn’t reach that point. Just tell me what’s up and I’ll make it work.”
Jimin smiled a small, sad smile that paled in comparison to that blinding show of teeth earlier. My eyes could not help their roaming and I felt guilty. There was a chance we would be working together, and I could not feel this way about him if that time came. I could only hope that if we did decide to move forward with this arrangement, any affections I could have for him would get buried. I would have to talk to Hoseok about this.
“I have to take her to appointments once a week,” He replied, voice small and eyes staring at something off camera. “She’s not getting her chemo anymore but still goes to see her doctor often to manage symptoms as best she can. She also has a dance class every Sunday morning and I will be going with her.”
I nodded, “I can live with that. As long as you’re still putting in work you can take your mom anywhere.”
He took a deep breath and finally looked at the camera again. The vulnerability I found there took me off guard. Jimin must be someone who wears their emotions on their sleeve, and I would have to learn to nurture that. Namjoon always told me I needed to work on being more sensitive to others, a skill I had yet to master. 
“Matt didn’t like how much time I spent out of the pool. I understand where he’s coming from but I’m hoping we can come up with a training schedule that works well for the both of us. I feel bad enough pulling you away from your life, and I don’t want my personal shit to bleed into what you’re going through.”
It was a kind gesture, one I appreciated, but he needed to get over it. I told him in so many words that I was happy to help him.
“Trust me,” I said. “If I didn’t want to do this then we wouldn’t be talking.”
Jimin seemed to like my bluntness and I was fond of his over-analytical anxiety. The way he fidgeted reminded me of Namjoon, his forward and direct confrontation of his emotions and needs so strikingly similar it made it nearly impossible for me to dislike him. I don’t think a person alive could dislike this man. 
“I can be in Ann Arbor next week,” Jimin had gone on another rant about inconveniencing me and I shut it down. “Everything here is already squared away. We can discuss it more later, how does that sound?”
He smiled wearily, his nerves causing him to squirm in his seat. 
“I’m really looking forward to working with you, Y/N.”
I hoped my expression looked as sincere as I felt, “I’ll take care of you, kiddo.”
Pulling a face, Jimin laughed heartily. Triumphant, I smiled brazenly, his laughter contagious. I made a note to pull out a few age jokes now and then if it meant making him smile like that. 
“I’m an adult man, I’ll have you know,” He was still laughing.
“Could’ve fooled me,” I teased.
“We’re going to get along just fine,” He seemed more confident than ever, and it warmed my heart. “Let me know when you’re expected to get here. Do you have my number?”
We exchanged our contact details. After days of talking over email, I finally found a smiley face emoji in my notifications, a Michigan area code attached. Saving his number, I replied with the old woman emoji earning myself another laugh. 
“Talk to you later, Park.”
“See you, coach.”
I left the meeting, my chest much lighter after talking to him. He was a sweet man and not half bad to look at. I was a few years older but not disgustingly so, and he was more than available from the sound of things. Realizing the direction my thoughts were going in, I stood up from the chair to start writing out some drills and scheduling prototypes. Before I could get out of the door, however, my phone vibrated in my hand.
Jimin: 👶
I did not respond until I had my flight booked.
Me: I’m flying in on Tuesday. Know a good place to stay?
He replied a few minutes later.
Jimin: Do you need a lot of space?
Me: Not really
Jimin: One of my neighbors has their mother-in-law suite for rent. I could probably cut you a good deal with them.
I smiled. He really was a sweetheart. 
Me: Thank you. And no deals. I can pay for myself.
Jimin: My mother would be very upset if I didn’t at least try.
Jimin: I was raised to respect the elderly.
I laughed out loud, thoroughly amused. I had a feeling he was testing the waters after I poked fun at him earlier. Jimin was probably used to the stick stuck up Hamilton’s ass. He was in for a treat. At the pool I was cool and collected but I could cut up with the best of them. 
Me: Sorry, couldn’t hear you over the sound of my hip breaking
I was practically giddy with excitement waiting for his response. It had been such a long time since someone joked around with me like this. Hoseok tried but he was awful at taking a joke, so I stopped poking the bear. It was refreshing and all too familiar. 
Jimin: I’ll get you one of those life alerts just in case.
Was he flirting with me? Did I care? Shrugging, I went along with it. I would remain strictly professional while we worked together, but if things developed after that I would let them. Happily. I barely knew this guy, but I remember this feeling. It was the first time since Joon’s death that it showed itself to me and I wanted to hold onto it.
First work then play, I told myself. 
Who knows? This little bit of infatuation could fade just as quickly as it came, and I would leave Ann Arbor with a new friend instead. Might even be able to score a steady job with the kid if things worked out. My life in Colorado would remain untouched, my friends happily accepting a new kid in the group when he came to visit, and my house just as bare and empty as it always had been. The years continuing to pass me by.
I tried not to think about why that thought made me want to cry.
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“I told you I’m fine,” I sighed into the phone, waiting at the baggage claim for my things. “You’re in rare form today.”
Andrea laughed, the sound slightly hysterical and I winced. That was the wrong thing to say, but she was driving me insane. I had traveled around the world multiple times, and she was acting like Michigan was going to kill me.
“Well excuse me for worrying,” Andy bit back, her tone clipped and harsh.
“I’m sorry,” I heaved one of my bags off the conveyor belt. “I know you’re just looking out for me, but I promise you I’m fine Andrea. You’ll be my first phone call if that changes.”
The other bag finally popped up and I quickly snatched it. Slinging the large duffle bag over my shoulder, I adjusted it until it rested comfortably on my shoulders. Lifting the handlebar off my large suitcase, I drug it behind me while I followed the signs for the exit. Jimin said he arranged for someone to pick me up but did not specify who. He was busy with a few interviews this morning and could not get me himself. He had been very disappointed about it.
“I know I’m nagging,” Andy groaned. “Scratch that. I’m acting like a total helicopter parent.”
I laughed, “Your husband had been even worse. The man tried to book me a charter flight because he was worried about my leg in an airport. What the fuck does that even mean?”
Everyone had been super happy for me, especially my team. Those boys almost cried when I told them who I was helping out and Jordan begged me to bring him back something autographed. None of them seemed as familiar with my own background but I was fine with that. All of them took to Hoseok rather well, except for Marcus who made me swear to come back before school let out. I did not tell them I was planning to make monthly trips to give Jimin some space with his mom. I was sure that surprise would go over very, very well.
Despite his indifference when I was first talking about the job, Seokjin became an overprotective dad as soon as I made him aware my flights were booked. He was quick to cancel them and put in a few calls of his own. Jin was an operations manager for Delta airlines and knew plenty of pilots. He was able to get me a plane to land in Willow Run out in Ypsilanti, but I quickly intervened and told him a normal flight was perfect. I rebooked my tickets and flew into Detroit Metro at 10 am.
Andy snorted, “He means well.”
It was snowing in Michigan, and I was finally hit with the realization that I would be seeing far more of it here than I ever did back in Colorado. It was only mid-September, so it was still light and melted away quickly. I would have to ask Jimin if it stayed this calm into December, but I had a feeling things would pick up by late November. 
It was a very cold morning in Detroit, and I was excited to get into a heated car. Getting off the phone with Andy, I quickly sent Jimin a quick text message letting him know I was outside and looking for my ride. A loud honk made my jump, almost dropping my phone in the process.
Pulled up at the curb was a navy-blue Volkswagen Beetle. I could tell from its body that it was an older model, and it was a convertible. Sitting behind the wheel was a little old lady, a pair of gardening gloves on her hands and a pair of large, hexagon sunglasses taking up most of her face. Her face was familiar, and it hit me. Sitting behind that wheel was Jimin’s mother. 
She smiled at me and waved, beckoning me closer to the little car. I forced myself to smile back. My nerves made it feel damn near impossible, but I managed. Opening the door, I did not know where to put my things. The backseat was so small.
“There’s a lever on that side that’ll push it up. You should be able to get everything to fit if you try hard enough.”
Fumbling around, I finally found the little handle and pulled up. The seat lurched forward, folding in on itself, and I clumsily shoved my suitcase into the backseat. It smelled like stale cigarettes and fake pine, but when you had a car this old it usually had history. I was excited to pick up my new car from the dealership. My Porsche already had a difficult time driving around Colorado and I did not think it would survive the heavy winters in Michigan, so I decided to leave it home and get an Altima. I had the money and could easily get rid of it. Tilly had been talking about needing an upgrade. 
Finally managing to get both bags into the backseat, I put the seat back and got into the car. Closing the door, I sighed in content. The heaters were at full blast and pointed directly at my cold face. Buckling my seatbelt, I leaned back and tried to relax after the long day of flying. Jimin’s mother pulled off the curb.
“It’s cold out there,” She laughed, her voice just as sickeningly sweet as her son’s. “Glad you were able to make it okay.”
I nodded, “I’m surprised to see it snowing so early. We don’t usually get anything until closer to Thanksgiving.”
“Colorado, right?” I could hear a faint accent and I remembered that Jimin was first-generation Korean American. Both of his parents moved to the states before he and his brother were born. Media outlets loved talking about it, but I was not sure how much he enjoyed discussing his personal life. While he came off as a sweet and mild-mannered man, he kept his personal life private. “I’ve heard it’s very pretty.”
“It is. Too expensive, but very, very pretty.”
Then she was fiddling around with the radio, and I finally cracked a genuine smile. I was not sure how much work had been done on her car, but I was positive the sound system had been completely redone. A brand-new radio, complete with a touch screen and Bluetooth, lit up at the touch of her fingers. A man’s voice serenaded us through the updated speakers, and I was in awe at how beautiful it sounded. I assumed he was speaking Korean and Jimin’s mother sang along fluently. 
“What’s your name again?” She asked once the song was over. Another, more upbeat song started, and she increased the volume. “Jimin told me but I’m horrible with that sort of thing. I’m Na-Yeon, but Audrey works if it’s easier for you.”
I pulled a face, “Audrey?”
“It’s my American name. It’s easier for people to pronounce and more convenient. All of us have one. Jimin’s is Christian.”
It was odd to think about. A name that was mine but not mine. Christian did not suit Jimin, but I could imagine growing up with a name that other people made fun of would be difficult. Maybe even impossible. Still, I did not feel comfortable calling the woman Audrey. She did not seem to particularly care for the name and I did not want to alienate myself from their circle for convenience's sake.
Namjoon’s mother had been similar to Na-Yeon, always afraid her culture and customs would make me uncomfortable or burdened, but I managed to calm her fears and reassure her after years of showing up to Chuseok with a smile on my face and food in my hands.
“I like Na-Yeon,” I finally replied, voice small. “It’s nice. I’m Y/N.”
“I like Y/N,” She echoed back to me, making me grin. “It’s nice.”
It was a long drive filled with K-pop, ballads, and sporadic conversation. Na-Yeon was very funny. She sang along to every song, dancing as she went, and calling on me to sing alone. Of course, I could not speak Korean very well and hummed the melodies instead, but it appeased her. When she did speak to me it was to ask me questions about myself. 
“You’re that swimmer, aren’t you?” She asked, sparing me a look once we stopped at a redlight. “The one everyone’s trying to beat.”
I shook my head, “At one time, sure, but not anymore. I’m retired.”
Squinting her eyes at me, Na-Yeon pursed her lips. 
“We used to watch you. Haru called you a mermaid.”
 That was not too much of a shock. Jimin was swimming at that time. While I am a few years older than him, he would have been in middle school when I went to my first Olympics. He had told me he joined the swim team the year before. He said that watching Michael Phelps win 6 gold medals changed his life forever, and I could not help but agree with him. I had a huge amount of respect for my fellow Olympian and wished him well in his retirement. What shocked me the most was the mention of Jimin’s little brother. The dead brother.
“That’s sweet,” I did not know what to say. “I felt like a mermaid back then. I’m not that good anymore but I still like to swim sometimes.”
“You were in an accident,” It was not a question. “We saw it all over the news. Couldn’t believe all of those people harassing your family like that. So sorry for your loss.”
It was strange to talk about it again. I appreciated her keeping it vague. I had gone through a tremendous amount of change and growth since then, but it was nice to hear someone else validate how crazy the media frenzy was. I would not wish it upon anyone, and I was happy her family was allowed to grieve in peace. Neither Namjoon’s nor my own were allowed that luxury.
“Thank you,” I replied. “I’m sorry about Haru. I can’t imagine what your family went through.”
She smiled sadly, “I think you can.”
We did not talk much after that. The music still played, Na-Yeon still sang, and I still hummed, but we did not ask any more questions. Neither one of us wanted to bring up those hurt feelings. It was not until we turned down a long, empty road that I realized I had yet to ask her about her cancer. 
“Are you feeling okay?” I asked.
“As good as I can,” She breathed. “My boys are both worriers so don’t take anything they say to heart. Bunch of hypochondriacs.”
And even though I laughed along with her, I knew that she was lying. They were not overreacting. She was sick, refusing treatments, and letting herself die. Anyone would be worried about her. Na-Yeon must dislike being taken care of. Well, I thought she would need to get used to it. I loved spoiling others. 
“Eloise and the kids must be here,” She muttered to herself, pulling to a short driveway. 
I did not know who Eloise was, but I would soon find that out. There were two cars parked out front. One was a simple, black Tahoe with a brightly colored steering wheel cover. The other was another vintage model. Painted a pretty light, muted green the truck was in pristine condition. It was an old Ford, the branding written across the tailgate, and a spare tire was bolted to the side. I asked Na-Yeon about it and she smiled happily.
“It’s Jimin’s,” I felt my heart rate increase. “He must’ve gotten back. Pretty thing, huh?”
I nodded, not really paying attention to the truck anymore. I was about to meet Jimin for the first time and my nerves were taking over. I knew how much his looks affected me over video chat and I was afraid I would not be able to control my facial expressions in person. I was resolute not to act on whatever attraction I may have felt toward him. My professionalism would not allow it. It did not mean, however, that I wanted to discuss it with Jimin at any point. It would make him uncomfortable and affect our working environment. 
“Keep your bags in the car,” Na-Yeon told me. “Jimin’s going to take you over to meet the Andersons this afternoon.”
Walking up to the house, I was first struck by two things. The main one being the impressive teal it was painted and the other the loud talking and laughter coming from inside. It was odd. Thinking about my own parents I knew we had never been so happy. Mom had left when I was so young that I could hardly remember her, but I could recall the screaming and shouting. Dad was quiet after she left, spent most of his time locked away in the garage watching sports channels and leaving me to my own devices. 
When I started swimming it helped for a time, but when I was old enough to leave, we spoke two or three times a year. After he met Danielle, his new wife, he stopped reaching out altogether. The accident had spooked him enough to warrant holiday and birthday calls for a time, but when he had another baby those slowly faded away. My half-sister and I had never met, Danielle did not like acknowledging that my dad had a child with another woman, and it seemed as though my dad was fine with how things turned out. I dealt with it.
The laughing echoed through the house, and I could hear loud foot-steps pitter pattering on the tile floors. The house smelled heavily of kimchi and lemons making my heart ache. Joon and I used to keep the windows open for days after his mother came over to make kimchi with him. We would squat on the floor for hours, laughing and talking. I missed those days more than I realized and I smiled involuntarily. For the first time in years, it felt like coming home.
“Sorry about the smell,” Na-Yeon whispered to me. 
I shook my head and took my shoes off. “I love kimchi.”
She smiled brightly, her shoulders immediately relaxing. I was glad I had spent so much time with Namjoon and his family. Na-Yeon was someone who wanted to make others feel more comfortable even if it put her own peace at risk, but I would never ask her to change her routine for me. I loved learning about other people and her little house brought me more happiness than I thought possible. 
“Sounds like we have company!”
A short, stocky man came into the living room. He was wearing a white polo shirt and khaki shorts; his hair was very short with silver streaks starting to take over the once very black strands. Catching sight of me he smiled. 
“You must be Y/N,” The man said. “I’m James.”
His accent was much thicker than Na-Yeon’s and he introduced himself in his English name. He seemed much happier about it than his wife did, and I decided to go along with it. If he wanted me to call him James, then I would.
“Nice to meet you,” I replied, giving him a small bow.
His smile got even bigger somehow, and he returned the gesture. Na-Yeon chuckled beside me and started to speak to her husband in Korean. I picked up a few words and deduced that he was supposed to make sure I was going to get a nice lunch, and she wanted to know if he had taken care of it. He nodded and told her he had.
“Hungry?” James asked, Na-Yeon already disappearing into the house.
“Yes,” I quickly followed behind him.
“I made jjigae,” He frowned. “I can’t say it in English. Sorry.”
The house was small and warmly lit. Cream tile flooring, exposed wood beams, and white walls. Whatever loud conversation they had been having before I got here had died down, but the footsteps did not. I could hear children giggling somewhere in the little home and my curiosity peaked. I did not think they were Na-Yeon and James’s.
“I want to say it’s soup,” I kept my voice down not wanting to make him feel awkward. “Or stew, but I don’t think it matters that much.”
“What’s the difference?” James asked, just as amused as his wife at my vague knowledge of Korean words. “Soup and stew the same, no?”
I shrugged, “I have no clue. I’m a miserable cook.”
That made James laugh. We passed all of the rooms in the house, the kitchen, living room, and dining room all in the back of the house. As we passed the second room to the left, James said it had been Haru’s photography studio before he passed away, but they ended up converting it once Eloise gave birth. He did not say it out loud, but I had gathered the kids running around had been their youngest son’s. I did not know how old Haru had been when he died, but it was far too young to be having children. I was 31 and still felt ill equipped for the job. 
It was a small kitchen with very simple and plain colors. The countertops were obviously laminate, but someone had taken the time to stick on a marble patterning to make it look nicer. Black appliances clashed with the chestnut cabinets. The tiles were no longer cream but hideous black and white checker printed that clashed heavily against the olive-green backsplash. While the rest of the house seemed to go through renovations at some point, I had a feeling the kitchen remained largely untouched. 
Sitting at a small table on the other side of the room were Na-Yeon, Jimin, and a young woman. She was a cute girl, long brown hair and blue eyes, a large number of freckles across her cheeks. Her outfit was very modest, a pair of flowy cream pants and an equally flowy olive shirt. Her hair was tied back with a ribbon that matched her pants, and taking a closer look at her, she wore no makeup. A classic girl next door.
“Come sit,” Na-Yeon waved me over, her voice showing no room for argument. “Hyun-Soo is in charge of lunch.”
I was only briefly confused, the name completely unfamiliar, but by the time I sat down I was sure she was talking about James. It made sense for her to call him by his Korean name, and since I had shown no qualms about using their proper names, she saw no need to bring them up herself. 
“Nice to finally meet you,” Jimin’s sweet voice reached me, and I smiled at the sound. “I hope getting here wasn’t too bad.”
He reached out to me, and I happily took his hand in my own. The skin was soft, perfectly smooth, and warm. It was over far too quickly but my displeasure was easily hidden. Andrea always complained about my poker face and how difficult it was to get past it. She said it was too good and thus refused to ever play poker with me again. 
“It was nice,” I meant it. Na-Yeon was wonderful company. 
“Hope the concert was nice.”
That made me and Eloise laugh. Na-Yeon smacked Jimin’s arm playfully, unable to keep the smile off her face, and the two began to bicker. Having them in the same room highlighted the differences I hadn't noticed before. Jimin’s nose was closer to his father’s, his eyes, too, and both of them had a slight lisp. Na-Yeon’s teeth were perfectly white and straight while one of Jimin’s front teeth was slightly chipped. Jimin had a dimple; his mother had none. Their English soon turned to digs in Korean and I could no longer follow. A few words here and there but nothing substantial. James joined them.
“Hi,” Eloise shyly greeted me, obviously used to being left out of conversations.
“Hey,” I replied lamely. “Eloise?”
She nodded, “Cam and Harper are playing but you’ll meet them in a bit.”
I nodded along and cemented the names into memory. It would look bad if I forgot them and kids had an ability to remember the worst things about a person. I did not want them to dislike me this quickly. Their giggles and feet were still going, and I suspected they had their own rooms on top of the little playroom in the hall.
“What do you do for work?” I asked Eloise, hoping my attempts at small talk were going over well. The other three were still chatting and I stopped paying attention long enough to be completely lost. Their dialect was different from Namjoon’s family, and I gave up entirely once they switched in and out of it with ease. 
“I’m taking over Audrey’s restaurant,” Eloise, it seemed, preferred to use their American names. I wondered if she called Jimin ‘Christian.’ I really did not like the name for him. Not at all. “We used to be co-owners but she’s preparing for…” Eloise’s eyebrows scrunched together as she struggled to come up with a way to voice her thoughts, “her next steps. You know what I mean?”
I nodded. It was so easy to forget why I was really here when Na-Yeon was so full of life. She laughed and joked easily, sang off-key in the car without a care in the world, and called the shots at home. I had hardly noticed any sickness, but I knew better. I already figured out she hated being cared for and our trip in the car could have taken a lot of her. More than I realized.
Wanting to change the subject, I asked about the kids. Eloise was more than happy to talk about her little ones. Cameron and Harper were twins, names that she had originally been very against but when she lost Tony (Haru preferred his American name, Anthony, and all of his closest friends called him Tony), her opinions changed. Harper was the bigger, older baby, while her brother needed to stay in the NICU for a few days after birth due to his weight. They were joined at the hip and rarely seen without the other, something Eloise was happy about given she was usually too busy to spend as much time with them as she would have liked.
“How old are they?” I asked.
“Almost 4.”
Jimin was 19 then. I shuddered to think about how old Haru was, or Eloise for that matter when they became parents. When I was their age, I had been at the top of my game, though not what I would call my prime. If I had gotten pregnant my career would not have been over, but meeting Joon never would have happened. That was a travesty regardless of how things turned out. Trying to picture a life without him touching it made me physically ill and so I pushed any of those thoughts away.
Cam and Harper came out of their room when dinner was ready. They were both very cute, loud, and dressed identically. Harper’s hair was braided down her back while Cam’s was in a bowl cut, and I laughed every time the little girl made a big show about her sparkly red shoes.
James made a very spicy fish stew. It was delicious, so salty and hot, but I needed multiple glasses of water as I ate. He used red snapper adding a sweet, nutty flavor to the otherwise savory dish and I loved the zucchini. Like many Korean meals there was an array of side dishes surrounding the large pot of stew. Tonight was braised potatoes, steamed eggplant, a radish salad, and, of course, kimchi. A small bowl of rice was given to all of us to eat the stew with and the rice cooker was filled if any of us wanted more. 
The Parks were a lovely family. Jimin was quiet and did not talk to me much but his mother more than made up for his silence. After getting all of the details about my coaching job she moved on to my life back in Colorado. We talked about my friends and what they were like, my house, and even my neighbors. Na-Yeon seemed particularly interested in Hoseok since Jimin had been such a fan of his growing up. 
“You need to get her over to Calvin and Violet’s,” James told his son, scraping up the last bit of the soup out of his bowl. “They’re expecting her soon.”
Jimin looked at me, eyebrow raised, “Are you ready?”
I nodded, “We can leave whenever you’re done.”
He smiled and went back to eating his meal. Eloise left before I did, Cam was tired and Harper was bored without her playmate, so she decided it was time they went home. Cam liked an afternoon nap still, but his sister could run all day if you let her. Harper gave me a big bear hug before she left, something Na-Yeon said she did to everyone, and held her brother’s hand on their way out. 
Na-Yeon eventually got up from the table, James followed after her, leaving Jimin and I alone. I did not know what to say, if he wanted me to say anything at all. He had hardly spoken to me since I arrived, and it left me feeling out of place. I was here for him, and he wanted nothing to do with me. He kept eating, the spice unfazed him, and getting bowl after bowl of rice. 
Watching him walk around I was struck by how short he was. Most male swimmers were huge, well over 6 feet, and broadly built. Not Jimin. He could not be any taller than 5’9” with a thin, tiny waist. I could see defined muscles hidden underneath his white t-shirt, but nothing spectacular. Even his body was soft and elegant, moving gracefully and quietly, and absolutely none of it would give away that he was a world-class athlete. As if he could feel my eyes following him, Jimin’s eyes snapped to meet my own.
“Sorry,” He pulled his spoon from his mouth. “I’m sure you’d like to leave and here I am gorging myself.”
I stopped him before he could stand, “No, no. I’m fine. I was just thinking about your workout routine.”
The lie felt heavy on my tongue, but I could hear how natural it sounded. He sat back down and took another bite of his food. His workout regime was standard for most swimmers. Pull-ups, bench, squat, lunge, power cleans, power cleans to overhead press. After that he was in the pool for a few hours before going about his day. He usually added in another swim at the end of the day, but he had recently given it up to have dinner with his family. 
“What are you doing for your core?” I asked.
“I stick to pull ups, crunches, thrusts, and back extensions.”
I nodded, frowning, gears in my head turning. I have always believed the core was the most important part of swimming. Arms as well, but I have seen many overwork those muscles and lose from weak turns. Hoseok used to joke about my performance and how I only won because of my turns. I would make sure he would be able to see a little bit of me in Jimin’s swimming. There was a reason I won gold.
“You don’t look very impressed.”
I chuckled, “Just thinking. You need more variety than that.”
“Gym snob, are we?” His mouth stretched into a playful smirk, and I could not help but smile back. “You must be an animal in there.”
“I don’t work out like I used to,” I admitted, averting my eyes. “Most of my exercises are yoga and running now. I swim twice a week.”
I was hoping to get back in the pool more often, but I was not sure I was ready for the disappointment that would follow. My sessions with Emery were simple, exercise-focused, and had little to no expectations behind them. They were there to help me gain strength and confidence in myself. Saturdays were spent with Hoseok doing laps around the pool and shooting the shit. It was just enough to get your heart pumping but never went past that. 
Failing was daunting. I could not remember a time before swimming consumed my life. My dad always said I was afraid of the water; it was the biggest reason he placed me in lessons. He did not have the time (nor patience) to teach me himself, and after I saw younger children getting into the pool I was determined to act like a “big girl.” I was only three at the time, so the memory was lost to time, but I went every week after that. It gave my dad a break and I had friends for the first time. I learned later that mom had left for a few months and dad was drinking again, but at the time all I knew was that I liked swimming, and I was good at it.
It was frightening to believe that all of the time, energy, and hard work went to waste. 30 seconds. That was all it took to destroy my life. 30 seconds and all of my joy, love, and happiness was gone. My career, my health, and my Joon. I hated the man who hit us. Hated the way his family cried for me. For him. For Joon. Squeeze my hands into fists, I was glad they were hidden underneath the table. Getting in the water and realizing it was truly over would only make that hatred worsen, and my therapist told me I needed to let go of my anger.
“Violet and Calvin are excited to meet you,” I did not know if Jimin could see something in his face, perhaps my eyes, but he changed the subject. The look on his face made me feel exposed. “We should get going.”
No one was around when I left so I did not get to say goodbye, but Jimin yelled that we were leaving. We did not get a response and I wondered if his mother had actually gone to do laundry or take a nap. She looked tired when she left the table. Jimin told me to get into the truck and laughed when I said I could grab my own bags. 
“Your hip might give out, granny.”
Off guard, a strange, loud noise came out of my mouth. He had yet to start up our playful banter and my heart soared. Jimin was a very cheeky man, his tongue sharp, and with a quick snapback time, he was difficult to take down. Our text exchanges were always brief and about work, but he managed to squeeze in at least one teasing comment about my age. He said calling him ‘kiddo’ is what started the whole thing.
“Just get in the truck,” He sighed melodramatically, rolling his eyes.
Huffing, I went across the lawn and got into the unlocked truck on the curb. The interior was just as refurbished as the exterior. The bench was covered in a dark green vinyl, and I could tell the rubber carpet mats were new. It smelled much better in Jimin’s truck. Less like cigarettes and more like the cologne he wore. It was floral, powdery, but with a subtle spice that made it bitter-sweet. It had a nice scent. It suited a man like Jimin whose own spice was buried underneath his pretty visage. 
Watching him jog across the yard, I suppressed a sigh. It was easier to ignore how pretty he was when we were around other people. Now it felt impossible. His clothes stuck to him like a second skin, the black leather pants (which I had only just noticed were leather) making his thighs bulge and accentuating his backside. He was gorgeous and I felt sorry that I would have to keep it to myself. Jimin deserved to be told things like that, but it was not my place to do so. Not as a coach, trainer, or otherwise.
He tossed my things into the cab of the truck as if they weighed nothing. Arms lifted; his shirt rose revealing a delicious patch of skin. Watching him in the rearview mirror, I swallowed audibly. A thin, almost nonexistent patch of hair touched his belly button. Forcing myself to look away, I took a few deep breaths.
This trip was going to be long. Very, very long. 
The drive down the road was quiet. Jimin’s radio was out, and he needed to replace it, so music was not an option, and he did not seem to want to fill the space between us. Neither did I. My growing bashfulness around him was distracting and strange. I had always been surrounded by attractive men, all of my friends back home were very good looking, but none affected me in the same way Jimin had. Perhaps it was due to my relationship with Namjoon that made all of the other men pale in comparison, but I could never know for sure. Either way, it was incredibly frustrating.
We drove for less than ten minutes. Calvin and Violet were the elderly couple renting out the small house in their backyard. Jimin had spoken to them for me, and they were all too willing to help me out. Violet nearly cried when I told her I was going to pay all of my rent up front, and actually did when I told her that I would help her fix up some things around the house while I was in town. The Andersons seemed like lovely people, and I was happy to know them.
Pulling up to the house I smiled. It was exactly how I imagined it would be. The Anderson house was a simple, All-American home with a front porch. The window trimming was black, house white, and a beautiful garden wrapped around the front at either side. The roof and front door were the same color green as Jimin’s truck, and it helped the otherwise unnoteworthy home feel more inviting. Sitting on the porch swing was Violet, her silver hair braided down her shoulder.
“Before we get out,” Jimin mumbled, waving at Violet through my window. The old woman waved back, a large smile on her face making her look twenty years younger. “The Andersons are great people, but Calvin’s starting to forget stuff. Violet won’t admit it but it’s getting hard on her to deal with him. He can become very angry so keep an ear out. Last time he had an episode, Violet called my dad crying. She’s not handling it well.”
I frowned, my heart hurting, “Sure thing. I’ll let you know if anything happens.”
“Thanks.”
He was out of the car a few seconds later, voice so sweet and bubbly you would have never guessed what we had been talking about. Staring after him, my eyes squinted. I would have to keep my eye on him. Jimin was a great actor.
Getting out of the truck, I took out my bags and slung my duffle on my back. Jimin was quick to take my suitcase away once he caught me in the corner of his eye. Violet seemed positively giddy about it and made a few inappropriate comments about Jimin needing to settle down.
“I’m just saying,” She laughed when Jimin scoffed, face flushing the prettiest shade of pink. “You’re going to make a young woman very happy. Might as well get started.”
It was strange to think about my trainee seeing someone. He had made it very clear in his interviews over the years that his dating life was on hold until he was finished swimming. He did not want the added distraction and his family life was far too chaotic for him to focus on someone. This did not seem to deter Violet and her comments about his love life, or lack thereof, continued until we got inside of the house.
“Well,” Violet acknowledged me for the first time since I arrived, “This is the main house. It’s not much but it’ll work. Christian, take her stuff out back.”
I cringed. It really did not suit Jimin at all, but he seemed completely unfazed. Violet used his names interchangeably, sometimes calling him Jimin and other times Christian, but his English name rolled off her tongue more often than not. I wondered why she even bothered calling him Jimin at all. He did not seem to care either way.
Looking around the little house, I was pleasantly surprised by how clean it all was. The floors were carpeted and the walls a bright white, family photos hung up alongside landscape paintings. During my two-hour phone call with Violet, the woman talked my ear off, she bragged about Calvin’s art. I had to admit they were all very beautiful and I wanted to know where he had found all of the slices of heaven he captured. I hoped the places themselves were more colorful than he depicted. The muted washes of color made them blend in with the rest of the boring house even with how nice they were.
The furniture was just as boring as the house itself. All of it was cream or beige, nothing of importance really stuck out to me, and I was disappointed. All I could figure out about the couple was one was an artist and they had children and grandchildren they loved displaying. Even the smell of the house lacked character. No air freshener, no food, and no perfumes. Nothing to give away that people actually lived here. The Anderson home was a foil to the Park’s in every way.
“Come on out back,” Violet was already across the house, standing in front of a door beside the kitchen. “This is the utility room. You can do your laundry here.”
Following behind her, I felt even more depressed looking at her kitchen. It was nice, new appliances and a pretty coffee station on the corner closest to the utility room door, but it was bland. All white cabinets, white marble countertops, and stainless steel everything. Even the curtains hanging around the windows above the sink were dreadfully plain.
The utility room, like everything else, was plain. The washer and dryer were white, the floor concrete, and the shelving barebones. The detergent was the most colorful thing I saw since arriving. Somehow even this room smelled like absolutely nothing. Directly across from the door we entered was the backdoor and Violet told me where they would hide a key for me to be able to get inside.
“Ready to see it?” She asked, smiling politely. 
I nodded, “Thanks again for renting it out to me.”
She chuckled, “No thanks needed. You were paying, that was enough for me to say yes.”
The back porch was tiny, just barely big enough for the both of us to stand on. There was a small vegetable garden along the side of the house, but it was empty. Noticing my wandering eyes, Violet told me all about the turnips and gourds she had been planting this season. She had watermelon and tomatoes in the summer, but they were long gone. The rest of the yard was taken up by my home for the next few months.
It was small, but that was to be expected. What disappointed me, though I should have not been very surprised, was how white it was. The windows were a dark gray, a small porch was set up with enough room for one of those hanging egg chairs, and two built-in planters. They were empty and Violet told me I was welcome to give gardening a chance if I was interested. She was planning on growing some flowers eventually, but she was not sure what she wanted.
The front door was open, Jimin already inside, and Violet and I went in. There was a small entryway, two doors leading to rooms I would explore later, and a small shoe rack. I took mine off and put them up. Violet watched me and took hers off as well.
“Audrey told me I should put one in here,” I was learning that Violet enjoyed meaningless small talk. “Glad I did. Don’t think Christian took his shoes off, though.”
I shrugged, “No biggie. I was going to clean up around here anyway.”
The house opened up to my right and I was happy with the space. I had a fully functional kitchen and enough space for my coffee cabinet along the wall. The living room would be able to fit a small loveseat, television, and coffee table. It was white and plain, but I was very happy with the floors. Whoever picked out the dark vinyl flooring must have had me in mind. I would go crazy if this place was as sterile as the Andersons’.
“I put your stuff in your room.”
Turning I grinned at Jimin. It was sweet of him to help me out. I was going to pick up my car tomorrow morning and he had volunteered to drive me. We would be starting our training next week so I could have some time to settle in. All of my furniture was arriving either tomorrow or the day after and my hands would be full. I was counting on Jimin and his friends to help me unpack. His manager was going to make himself known as well, but would not be staying for long. Apparently, according to Jimin, Sejin was not one to get his hands dirty.
“Thank you.”
“I’ll let you get settled in,” Violet was already scratching to leave, and I wondered why. She had been very hospitable over the phone. “You’re welcome to join us for dinner. Calvin is going to bring the air mattress out here tonight, so you have someplace to sleep.”
With a kiss on Jimin’s cheek, Violet slipped on her flats and left. Alone with Jimin again, I found it hard to speak. We were much better over text. Looking just as lost as I was, Jimin scratched the back of his neck and looked down. 
“My, uh, my mom offered you her couch if you want it,” He stuttered, his face turning red. “Or, uh, um, you can take the spare room at my place,” He let out a huge gust of wind. “It’s a bit of a drive but I do have the space.”
Flustered, I quickly declined, “Thanks but I’ll be fine here.”
“Oh, yeah,” Jimin shook his head, the redness spreading down his neck. “For sure. Totally.”
The air was awkward now and I could not figure out how to fix it. Jimin was the one always breaking the ice between us, and now that he was acting like this I was stranded at sea. Even when he warned me he was more reserved in person I had not expected this. He was so quiet and skittish. How was I supposed to work with him if I could not get the courage to speak?
“Thanks for the offer,” I cleared my throat. “Are you staying for dinner?”
He shook his head, “I promised Jungkook we’d go out tonight. Any other time I’d say yes.”
I asked my disappointment. The thought of spending time with Violet and Calvin alone made me deeply uncomfortable. Their house felt like a hospital room and her weird behavior was unsettling. I could only hope Calvin was nicer but from what Jimin said he was a ticking time bomb. It would be nice to have someone act as a buffer.
“Why was she acting so strangely?” I asked, hoping Jimin had picked up on it as well. “It was like a totally different person.”
He frowned, “I think she’s just on edge since Calvin went to the doctor’s today. Their daughter took him, and she hasn’t heard anything. She’s a sweet woman, don’t worry.”
Now I felt like an asshole.
“That’s understandable,” I murmured. “Do you think she’ll be upset if I order food for all of us? If she’s stressed out, I don’t want her feeling like she has to cook for me.”
Jimin smiled, “She would appreciate it. I’ll go talk to her, how does that sound?”
I nodded, grateful. “That would be nice. The house gives me the creeps.”
That made him laugh, “What? Why?”
I shrugged, giggling with him. 
“Feels like a funeral home or something. I hate the minimalist aesthetic.”
Jimin bit his lip, “You’d probably hate my place, too, then.”
I chuckled. It was easy to imagine Jimin inside of a huge modern house, dark wood and barely anything in it. He was a single man, busy, and spent so much time at his parent’s house it did not matter what he had inside of his own place. Not wanting to make him self conscious, I bit my tongue. 
“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
He cocked his head to the side, and I laughed.
“Fine,” I conceded. “I would probably dislike it, but I don’t think it looks like a white padded cell.”
I may have been exaggerating a bit, but it was not that far off from how the Anderson home looked to me. I hoped by asking me to help fix up a few things, Violet meant giving the house a much-needed makeover. If I was lucky, I might be able to convince her to get a few throw pillows to break up the monotony.
“Jeez,” Jimin laughed. “Harsh critic.”
“Well, is it?” I joked, glad to have found our footing again.
“No,” He shook his head in thought. “It’s mostly gray and black, but still just as empty. Probably emptier, honestly. I don’t have as many pictures as Violet does.”
Smirking, he snapped his fingers, “My trophy room is pretty colorful. I have a lot of pictures and shit in there.”
That made me smile. I was not bringing any of my memorabilia here, but it was nice to hear him sound so proud of himself. I kept most of my competition stuff in my basement, a large China cabinet displaying all of my awards. My favorite had to be the small, cheaply made trophy sat at the very top. It was beside my Olympic medals, worn and dull beside the beautiful necklaces, but I loved it all the same. 
It was the first trophy I ever won. I was seven and my dad convinced me to sign up for a swimming competition my swim class was hosting. He promised to come. I practiced a lot preparing for it and made use of the new above ground pool my dad had bought. I won the race. My own joy and happiness made me forget that he never showed up until it was time to go home. I had to wait with my coach for two hours, and by the end of it she felt so bad for me she took me out for ice cream. Dad never apologized, I don’t even think he acknowledged that I won at all, and I never tried to bring it up again. Still, I loved that stupid thing. It was the reason I wanted to compete. That little pocket of happiness between winning and realizing that no one cared was precious to me and I held onto it. 
“I need to get going,” Jimin sighed, reaching into his back pocket and snapping me out of my thoughts. “Jungkook’s blowing up my phone. Just got broken up with and needs a drinking buddy.”
I sucked in air through my teeth, “Well, your services are needed. Don’t let me hold you up.”
Jimin smiled at me, “See you tomorrow, yeah?”
I nodded, “See you.”
He lingered in the entryway for a moment more before shaking out of whatever trance he had been in. Slipping his converse back on, Jimin waved at me before walking outside. His face was buried in his phone, so he never saw me wave back. He shut the door, the sound echoing in the empty house, and I was once again left alone.
Violet came out a few minutes later to discuss take out until we finally landed on pizza. She never said thank you, but her offer to give the tip since I was paying was more than enough. Then later when a few of my boxes came in early she happily carried them to me. She even helped me put everything away. When Calvin came home, she led me back inside and said with so much affection it made my heart melt.
"Calvin, this is Y/N. Sweetest woman I ever did meet. Bought us dinner."
Calvin reminded me of Namjoon in a way. His soft eyes and gentle voice. He took my hand when I introduced myself, his hands cold and soft. Wrinkles and sunspots went up the length of his arms.
"It's a pleasure to meet you," He said.
"Likewise," I replied.
We ate in silence, the three of us watching Jeopardy on the sofa. Even though I had been nervous about eating inside, Calvin's presence warmed the place up. Once a prison now felt like a poorly decorated home. A home filled with love.
As I watched them together, Calvin reaching out for Violet's hand and her giving it to him without question, I felt myself getting choked up. There had been a time I had that. Joon would be on the floor, book in his lap, while my hands were in his hair as I studied my training tapes.
I left early that night. I blew up the mattress, the house quiet, before sending out a few texts to my friends to let them know I was getting on alright. After that, I put on nature sounds to help me drift off to sleep. I had not felt this lonely in a very long time.
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Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio
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persphonesorchid · 2 years
Text
Auburn Skies - MYG
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Summary:  Everyone knows that if your best friend has a little sister, she's off limits. That, and the fact that your best friend will probably kill you if you even think about going near his sister. Yoongi knows this. There's no way he could tell Namjoon that once upon a time you kissed him, drunk in his living room after a break up. So much time's passed since then, too much time to bring it up now, but Yoongi still thinks about it, he's still a little hopeful. Now you're here at the lake house because Namjoon brought you and you clearly have something you want to say to Yoongi. 
Namjoon's gonna kill him.
Genre: 18+, fluff, angst, humor.
Word count: 12k
Warning(s): 18+, smut, oral (m+f receiving) unprotected sex, porn is mentioned. Yoongi and Y/n are BOTH stupid and they need help. Taehyung's trying his best, Seokjin is also trying his best but subtler. Yoongi's convinced that Namjoon's out to get him at every turn. Slight jealousy. Y/n and Yoongi have no idea how to actually hold a conversation like adults, until they do.
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Notes: My addition to the Autumn Leaves Collab, hosted by the beautiful @bangtansmauyeondan !! I had so much fun working on this, and I met so many beautiful people that I'm so grateful for, so happy to call my friends 🥺 I love y'all! Please check out the other authors' fics on the Collab Masterlist! Everyone worked so hard, give my girls some love! Shout out to @blog-name-idk and @xpeachesncream for being absolute aNGELS, beta reading and helping me out when I panicked over this lol, and @madbutgloriouspond for helping me brainstorm. I hope you guys enjoy!! Please leave feedback, I'm nothing but a poor soul seeking validation (and motivation!) to keep going.
If you like my content, please, consider donating if you're able - Here
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"You're staring." Seokjin nudges Yoongi's arm with his, snapping him out of his daze. He catches Seokjin's smirk, and there's a twinkle in his eye that promises nothing good. Yoongi pulls his eyes away from your form, sitting in a chair on the dock away from everyone else with a book in your hand. You're bundled up in a thick sweater and cozy sweatpants, completely lost in your book.
"Was not." Yoongi feels the need to deny it, distracting himself with cutting up onions, focusing on the way the blade of the knife cuts through the vegetable and definitely not the way Seokjin was wiggling his eyebrows at him.
"Sure. I believe you."
Somewhere inside, there is music playing. A Lo-Fi beat that plays softly under the sound of rain. It's kind of sad, if Yoongi is being honest, but he supposes that autumn is a sad season. Nothing but changes all around. The leaves change colours, mixing like paint on an easel in the hands of a melancholy artist drowning in his own solitude. They shift and the vibrancy of summer fades until they die, falling off their homes to go drifting in the wind, or land on the ground to become everyone's problem.
He doesn't really like autumn, when winter is right around the corner and he can feel the cold seeping into his bones no matter how many layers he wears. Always leaving his cheeks and his nose red, and his fingers hurting when the chill gets to them.
You enjoy it though, even reminded him when he picked up you and Namjoon this morning. You were kicking at the pile of leaves in front of Namjoon's apartment complex like a kid, laughing like you didn't have a worry in the world. You greeted him like you hadn't seen him in years, running up to him with Namjoon's scarf wrapped awkwardly around your neck like you were in a rush.
Namjoon is currently skipping stones with Jungkook near the lake's edge, and Yoongi can see he's halfway to giving up because Jungkook is on his competitive streak again.
Namjoon is one of his closest friends. He met him in college when they were both fresh out of highschool and riding on shotgun dreams of being more than what they are. He remembers meeting you during spring break of his junior year, and you were blabbering about getting accepted into the same college as Namjoon; determined to follow your brother to the end of time.
The only word to describe your first meeting was awkward, to say the least. He'd only ever heard of you, with Namjoon going off about you whenever Yoongi lent his ear. His baby sister who was doing so well in school, his baby sister, who to Namjoon, practically hung the moon in the sky. Now, Yoongi thinks he's naturally awkward when meeting new people, he can't help it. Getting to know someone is hard no matter how much you hear about them, even though you've got a pretty good impression just by word of mouth. There were shy 'hi's' and the most soul crushing 'See you later's' when there's little to no chance of ever seeing that person again. Sweaty, nervous hands meeting in shakes and straight lipped smiles.
Now, Yoongi was sure he wasn't too bad at it. And you were good, smiling brightly, not looking as awkward as he felt. What was awkward was the way Namjoon had excused himself to his parent's kitchen, pretending to get a glass of water. Yoongi had followed him with his eyes, because why was he leaving him standing in front of his sister alone?
Yoongi still remembers the chill that went down his spine that morning, as Namjoon watched him dead in the eyes over your head. A look Yoongi had never once received from him before, one that simply said: "If you think anything about my sister that isn't innocent; you will die."
As a best friend, Yoongi respected that. As a man, Yoongi valued his life. He wouldn't dare. It's the code, do not, under any circumstances, think about your best friend's sister romantically or less. You were off limits from the day Namjoon showed Yoongi that picture of you.
Off limits.
Yoongi heard that loud and clear and Namjoon hadn't said a word that day.
You were off limits, still, when you'd called him at ass o'clock in the morning - not Namjoon, your brother who trusted with everything - about some smarmy asshole who thought it was funny to break your heart. When he picked you up outside a bar where you were supposed to meet your boyfriend of a year, standing in the rain, soaked to the bone, crying and slightly drunk.
Looking beautiful even when you had stumbled your way to his car, asking what did you do to deserve getting cheated on. He didn't answer you then, he had too much to say and it wasn't the time, not when you were drunk and wouldn't remember a thing when the sun came up. So he cranked up the heat in his car, and white knuckled the steering wheel the whole drive to his apartment, because yours was too far and it was late.
Off the whole damn table, when you'd kissed him on the mouth, still drunk, still crying and clinging onto him in his living room. He pushed you gently away, even as he licked his lips to chase the taste of you. Keeping the distance between you both wide as he watched you shatter like glass in his hold. You apologized through your sobs, and Yoongi's own heart broke as he tried and failed to pick up the pieces of yours scattered at your feet.
You asked him not to tell Namjoon, and Yoongi never said a damn word. You slept in his bed that night, in his clothes that were way too big for you, and left the next day like nothing happened.
You're still off limits now, even as you've grown up and are going into your senior year. Now that Yoongi finished college and had a job like a responsible adult, now his biggest worry is the price of bread climbing up and whatever the hell was on the news.
"Namjoon, we agreed that you weren't gonna come within 10ft of this space."
Yoongi looks up to find Namjoon wandering aimlessly towards them, holding a bowl of something in his hand. He stops dead in his tracks though, frowning, "I'm not that clumsy."
Yoongi and Seokjin share a look, before raising an eyebrow each at Namjoon. He sighs, lifting the bowl in his hand, "Hobi told me to tell you that Jungkook told him..."
"For Christ's sake..." Seokjin sighs, "Just get over here."
Namjoon grins like a kid, hobbling over to place the bowl next to Yoongi's busy hands. The bowl filled with slices of pork belly that Yoongi forgot he told Namjoon to fetch for him a long while ago. Too distracted to ask about it when he was skipping stones with Jungkook, he didn't even notice when he'd moved to get it.
He wonders what else he missed, lost in his own thoughts, and his eyes dart around to catch sight of you. Of course, you were no longer in the spot you'd claimed, now standing next to Jungkook. Both of you are laughing at Jimin, who was struggling to reach a branch of a tree that Jungkook could easily reach without stretching. You attempt it, jumping to reach, but you just don't make it and it's Jimin's turn to laugh, all crescent eyes and round cheeks.
At least someone's having fun.
Seokjin was mumbling something as he pokes at the coals in the grill, and Yoongi avoids looking at Namjoon because he realised he's staring again. He's awfully quiet, and Yoongi isn't sure if it's because of him, and he really doesn't want to risk his life here.
"'Autumn is the season that teaches us that change can be beautiful.'" Namjoon says, and Yoongi finds that he wasn't even looking his way. Instead, he was watching the lake with an odd look in his eyes, distant, like if he was thinking about something too hard and struggling to grasp it. At the same time though, he looked like he knew exactly what he was talking about; smiling to himself. He pats Yoongi cryptically on the back - a little forcefully - catching him off guard, and says nothing more as he walks away.
"We all know what it means when Joon starts quoting." Seokjin snickers, "You're so screwed."
Yoongi hums, and Seokjin gives him a knowing look, a look that says way more than what Yoongi is comfortable with, and he wonders, briefly, if he was being obvious, or if Seokjin was more observant than he gave him credit for.
"I hope the weather holds up." Seokjin mumbles, head tilted up and leaning slightly forward over the table to see past the awning above, he watches the sky with a small frown, "Said it was gonna rain sometime today."
Yoongi is grateful for the subject change, dumping the seasoning he chopped up into a bowl. He glances at the lake, at the reflection of the clouds on the water, they look a little gray with the promise of rain. He doesn't mind the rain, though, if it does, Taehyung's plan of sitting around the fire with marshmallows on a wire would be completely dashed.
Yoongi's not sure he could deal with the kid pouting all night because of it, and he hoped that the weather held up, too.
When lunch was ready, it was a little after two pm. The picnic table was clear of leaves that were raked to the side and into piles to deal with later. Hoseok finally crawled out of the bunk room, hair sticking up in odd angles and eyes sleepy still as he helped set the table with you and Jimin.
Yoongi walks over to the table with the small cooler he'd brought with him, packed full with ice and cans of beer, because what's lunch without it?
Seokjin walks behind, still prattling on about the weather, hoping for a little sunshine later on so he could get in the rowboat and swing his fishing rod around. He may have asked Yoongi if he wanted to come with him, but Yoongi was once again distracted; your soft laugh tunnelling his focus.
He sighs, internally, because God forbid anyone hears and starts asking invasive questions. Taehyung, of course, was clinging to you, not letting you move two spaces out of his orbit. Which of course, wasn't strange, Taehyung was just clingy that way; always stuck to someone like a kitten that hasn't yet learned to regulate its temperature.
The sight of it though, makes Yoongi's chest ache in a way that wasn't unfamiliar to him. The kind of ache that squeezes tight and knocks the air out of him, the ache he felt that night in his apartment living room when you kissed him. Thinking about it now makes the ache worse, because Yoongi knows what that kiss was, he knows what it meant and exactly where it came from. You were reeling that night, fresh out of a relationship that ended in a way you never saw coming, and that's where it came from. You were drunk, hurting, and attached yourself emotionally to the first person to treat you nicely.
It just happened to be Yoongi at the time.
He hates to think about it that way, as though it meant nothing when he wanted it to mean something. Yoongi likes to take things the way they came, there's nothing more than what it was, nothing to decipher or to sit and mull over. Not like he did that night, sitting up late on his couch, long after you'd passed out, then beating himself up about the whole thing because he was this close to laying his heart out at that moment.
He's glad he didn't. When you left the morning after, he wasn't even awake, woke up to his empty bed and quiet apartment. No note, no text - not that you owed him anything - so he left it as it was; unspoken.
He passes everyone a beer, avoiding your gaze when your hand brushes his, ignoring the soft smile on your lips that brightens your eyes and makes his chest hurt. He moves around the table and takes his seat in between Seokjin and Hoseok. He's sitting directly across from you, and to his rotten luck, Namjoon sits to your left, which puts Yoongi within his direct line of sight. He wonders if he'll be able to keep his eyes to himself, not get caught staring at you, even if your brother wasn't even paying him mind. Yoongi is cautious, still.
The chatter that fills the air is gentle, with laughs and catching up with each other. It was hard to find the time to do things like this, everyone was busy with their own schedules; the younger ones had school, the rest of them had work. Shit always get in the way.
Yoongi eyes Taehyung, who sits to your right and was poking at your arm more than he was eating. He had half a mind to tell Taehyung to quit it, the little devil on his shoulder telling him that he should; poking at his cheek and pointing. It isn't his place, though.
There's a twinkle in Taehyung's eye when their eyes meet, something mischievous that Yoongi would normally see from him when he was up to something. He turns slightly to you, whispering something to you with a hand covering the movement of his lips.
Yoongi's curious, he wonders what he's saying that makes your cheeks flush a pretty shade. Wonders what it is, when your eyes meet his for a second and you swat at Taehyung's hand. The younger man was clearly pleased with himself, smiling eyes meeting Yoongi's for a second too long, and Yoongi busies himself with stuffing his mouth with food.
"Think the water's cold?" Jungkook was looking out at the lake, doe eyes curious, his tongue absently fiddling with the ring in his lip.
"It's still early in the season..." Jimin answers, piling a spoonful of rice onto his plate, following Jungkook's gaze a moment after. "Wouldn't risk it though."
"I mean, you can if you want." Yoongi shrugs, "Just don't complain when you catch a cold."
Jungkook pouts, leaning his weight against Hoseok with a groan. Everyone knows Jungkook well enough to know that's exactly what he'd do, and then abuse his position as the youngest for the rest of their stay at the lake house.
The table was silent for a while, everyone occupied with stuffing their faces with the food, interrupted when Namjoon laughed at something Jimin said and choked on the rice in his mouth and is now nursing a bottle of water.
Yoongi missed this, just hanging out with his friends like they were back in college sneaking beer into the dorms and laughing over their drunken rambles. Just being.
Once lunch was over, they cleared the table of the bowls and plates, carrying everything inside to be washed up.
"I'll do the dishes," Hoseok says, balancing the large pot with plates and eating utensils in his hands.
"I'll do them, Hobi." Yoongi takes the pot from Hoseok's lax fingers, not giving him room to complain before he takes everything to the kitchen.
Yoongi misses the way Taehyung pokes your side, he did hear the smack of you hitting the offending limb, though. "I'll help you."
Yoongi feels his shoulders tense, and he tries to ignore it, setting the pot into the sink, while the boys place the other dirty dishes. He watches you for a moment, as you busy yourself packing away the seasoning and packets of spices back into their rightful places. He starts on the dishes, hyper aware of your presence somewhere behind him, but tries his best to keep it as far from the front of his mind as he could.
At some point, you switch places, and Yoongi takes up the task of drying the bowls and plates, packing them where they're supposed to be. He doesn't question it, just grateful to have something to do with his hands, mindful, to keep his head empty, because if his mind strays just a bit, he'll be thinking of things he really shouldn't. Off limit things. Like how he wished he'd just suck it up and kissed you back that night instead of pushing you away like he did. But, that would've been wrong of him, no? It wasn't the time and you weren't in the right frame of mind.
Yoongi skirts by you, packing the bowls back into the cupboard. This is awkward, maybe he should have let Hoseok do it when he said he would.
"Can I ask you something?" You suddenly ask, and Yoongi almost drops the bowl he's holding, not expecting you to speak because you've been so quiet. He glances over to the living room, where Namjoon and Jin are starting up a game of Mario Kart before he turns to look at you. Why does he always do that? It feels as though he's sneaking around for no reason whatsoever, always looking to make sure that Namjoon isn't looking at him.
"Uh, sure?" God, is it just him that's awkward? You look perfectly fine, elbow deep in soap water, scrubbing away at something in the sink, a small smile on your lips. Yoongi wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans, bringing them back up to stuff them into the pockets of his sweater. Play it cool, Min. "What's up?"
You turn your head, looking at him, and he swallows. The sink slowly drains, making that odd sucking noise as the water goes down and you look like you're struggling to grasp your words. There's a cute furrow between your brows, and Yoongi doesn't miss the way you bite your lip and look everywhere but at him.
Jin swears at Namjoon in rapid fire, in that way he does when he's got too much to say and not enough breath. Yoongi could see his arms flying up and swatting at Namjoon's shoulder, yelling about the blue shell he threw.
You take a breath, eyes settling somewhere above his head, clearly trying to block out Jin's racket, "Well...um..." You glance at him and look away, and Yoongi's just a little hopeful.
You look nervous, for once, wringing the life out of the dish towel in your hand as you press your lips together. There's a crease at your brow and Yoongi wonders what's bugging you. There were times when you'd freely spill your thoughts, up with him all ungodly hours just talking because that's what brother's best friends do, right? Offer comfort and a space to vent that isn't in the viewpoint of your sibling? He wonders what changed.
He knows though. It was that night, after that, things have been tense between you both, Yoongi just wishes it'd stop. He misses you texting him to tell him how your day went, or you constantly reminding him that he's way cooler than your older brother. He watches you now, if just to see you get even more flustered, even though he didn't know why.
Hope is an evil, never necessarily a good thing, if all it does is make you believe that something would work even though there's a slim chance that it actually would. Yoongi hates that he's hopeful right now. Hates that he's hoping that the flush of your cheeks and your nervous fidgeting has something to do with him, he hates that he wished you'd just spit it out already and stop his mind from coming up with all these things.
"Okay." You sigh, nodding more to yourself in a self-assured kind of way. Your eyes find his, briefly, before darting away, "Okay, so, I wanted to-"
"Hey, Y/n. Wanna play a round of Mario Kart with me?" Taehyung asks, walking into the kitchen with a smile, eyes filtering between you and Yoongi before they settle on you again. He pauses when you snap your mouth shut, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth and slowly look at him. You and Taehyung share a look that Yoongi's not too certain he wants to know what's about; the silence between you three is too loud.
"What?" the younger man asks, "Did I interrupt something?"
"No."
"Yes."
Yoongi stares at Taehyung, trying his hardest not to glare at him, because what you wanted to say was clearly important. You were staring at him, Yoongi could feel it, but he's giving you an opening to say what you need to.
"No, Tae, you didn't. I'll play." You smile a little forcefully, finally giving the dishcloth a break and laying it down on the island counter. "I'll tell you later?" You tilt your head at Yoongi and he can only nod, hopeful again, that you really would and not find an easy out.
"Okay."
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"Tae, can't we do this later or something?" You frown, speaking lowly as he wraps his arm with yours and drags you away, "I was actually really close this time."
"Yeah, no. You looked like you needed saving. So you're welcome." Taehyung shakes his head, curls swaying, "One day, little butterfly, you'll be free to spill your feelings." He sits you down on the couch next to Namjoon, who thankfully, has his earphones in his ears. Jin had already wandered off to do God knows after his defeat, leaving your brother to fiddle mindlessly with his phone.
You can hear Yoongi moving around in the kitchen, probably still packing away the dishes. Taehyung plops next to you, throwing his legs over yours and almost knocking Namjoon's phone out his hands. He starts up the game after passing you a remote, smiling at you, "He'll probably come over here to watch the game, so I'll lose and he could play against you, yeah?"
"Tae..." You groan, tilting your head back, and he pats your arm in a friendly manner, though a little firm in his delivery.
"If you don't tell him now that's fine..." He points at Namjoon with a tilt of his chin, trying to remind you of your brother's presence without being obvious. "But at least you could spend time with him. Never know what could happen." He wiggles his eyebrows.
Evidently, Taehyung's the only person who knows about that night with Yoongi. He was the one who picked you up from his apartment after all, firing question after question and not giving you room to breathe. Though he was a tad upset that he wasn't your first call when you were stranded, he understood why you'd called Yoongi. At the same time, he gave you an earful about just leaving the man hanging after you kissed him. Something you shouldn't have done in that moment, lord knows what Yoongi thinks of you now.
You've tried and failed so many times to tell Yoongi that you weren't as drunk as you seemed that night three months ago, you knew what you were doing. You were hurt, yes, but it was more out of realisation. Your relationship with your ex had been rocky at best, you'd given into his advances to hopefully put your crush on Yoongi behind you. It was easy at first, to have someone to put your focus on and give yourself to rather than to waste it on someone who didn't see you the way you saw him.
Yoongi has always seen you as his best friend's sister, nothing more. And you'd kissed him that night hoping that even for a second he'd realise, but he pushed you away and you knew there was no use hoping.
Even now, embarrassment still burns at your chest when you think about it, because what were you thinking? You'd left without saying anything to him because you were positively mortified. There were hundreds of unfinished texts that started and ended the same, with you contemplating if you should tell him or not.
More often than not, a tipsy night would find you huddled under your sheets with your finger hovering over Yoongi's contact.
It was more likely that he still saw you as the fresh out of highschool kid who followed him and your brother everywhere.
You groan loudly at your own thoughts, and Taehyung turns his head, looking between you and the TV screen, "Uh....You can play Toad if you want.."
"Huh?" The choose your character screen is up, idle, waiting for you to move your joystick around. Taehyung's already picked, "No, it's not that. I don't even like Toad, you can play him."
"That's the rudest thing that's ever come out of your mouth." Taehyung pokes your side with a finger, "What's on your mind?"
"Everything." You sigh, scrolling around to pick a random character. Don't get it wrong, you love Mario Kart as much as the next guy, but right now your mind was far, far away from this moment and the game.
Taehyung pats your thigh, "Maybe losing will help." He snickers, just as the game starts up.
"Oh, you're on." You're not gonna lose, no matter how confident Taehyung is, no one could beat you at Mario Kart.
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"Cheater! TaehYUNG. Joon tell Tae to stop do- You're cheating!"
"It's literally impossible to cheat at this game!"
Yoongi leans back against the island counter, content to watch you crash and burn as Taehyung wins yet another race. His victory laugh is deep, almost unheard under the sound of your indignant screeching. The rest of the boys gathered to see what you were yelling about, finding the sight of your losing streak more than entertaining.
Yoongi had paused only for a moment, making a light snack that everyone could enjoy if they wanted to, though, it was only an excuse to make your favourite. He watches as you scoot to the edge of the couch, he can't see your expression, but he doesn't doubt that you're pouting with the cute furrow of your brows that comes with your concentration.
"Namjoon." You whine to your brother, though Namjoon's hands fly up into the air, phone and all.
"Nope, leave me out of this."
"But he's cheating!"
"I'm not! You just suck."
Yoongi picks up the tray of Hotteok as soon as everyone calms down, carrying it over to the group. He rests the tray down on the coffee table, careful to move quickly so he doesn't block the screen for too long.
"Oh! Sweet! Thanks Yoongi." Namjoon is the first to move, leaning forward to grab one.
"Wait, Joon. They're ho-" Yoongi snaps his mouth shut as Namjoon has already picked it up. He promptly drops it, pulling air through his teeth before blowing on his fingertips.
"Ow." Namjoon pouts at his fingers, rubbing them against the material of his grey sweats.
Yoongi sighs, "Be careful, would you?" He focuses on the TV screen, you're directly behind Taehyung, throwing a blue shell that sends him skidding off the road just in time for you to cross the finish line.
"Ha!" You push at Taehyung's shoulder in your excitement, sending him against Namjoon, who drops his Hotteok on the floor.
Namjoon stares forlornly at the pancake for a quiet moment, while you do a victory wiggle in your place, his misfortune ignored.
"Well there you go, who wants to play?" Taehyung asks, glancing around the room. Jungkook waves his arm, getting up from his space on the floor by Hoseok's legs to totter over. "Yoongi! Nice of you to volunteer."
"What? I didn't...?" Yoongi stares at Taehyung like he's sprouted a second head.
Taehyung ignores him.
"Hey I wanted to play..." Jungkook whines, Taehyung ignores him, too.
"Guys, let's go take a nap in the bunk room." He stretches his long legs over Namjoon's, pulling him up by the arms and shares a look with Jungkook who was likely, as confused as everyone else.
"I'm not tired, though. I napped when I got here." Hoseok pipes up, pressing his lips together when Jimin not so subtly nudges his side with an elbow.
"Let's go take a nap." Taehyung repeats, eyes narrowing slightly at Hoseok. He relents under Taehyung's gaze, sighing as he stands and drags Jimin and a complaining Jungkook.
Taehyung smiles brightly, dropping his hands heavily on Yoongi's shoulders. Yoongi doesn't know what the kid's playing at, but allows him to direct him to sit next to you.
Yoongi shares a look with Seokjin, who shrugs and stands to leave too, linking his arm with Namjoon, "I found a book I think you'd like Joon. But we have to look for it, it's lost in my bedroom somewhere..."
"Oh...Kay? Sure."
Their voices trail off as they head up the stairs, and Taehyung waves as he backs out of the living room, with a sweet - suspicious - boxy smile."Have fun you two!"
"Okay what the hell." Yoongi mutters, turning his head to look at you. You didn't look his way, staring dead ahead at the TV, fingers tapping lightly at the control.
He hears you take a breath, "Wanna play Toad?"
"Uh...sure."
A few minutes go by before Yoongi could finally relax, getting comfortable on the couch focusing on the game and not the fact that you're less than a metre away from him. You're nibbling on a piece of hotteok, a little too quiet for Yoongi's liking. He was expecting you to be yelling because he's way ahead of you.
"So...can I ask you a question?" Yoongi keeps his eyes on the screen as he asks, afraid to look at you because he might slip up or stop all together. He could already hear the little voice in his head screaming at him to shut up. "I just wanna ask about...what you wanted to tell me in the kitchen?"
Yoongi doesn't normally pry, people's business are theirs and not his. But curiosity is driving him up a wall and he just needs to know. Maybe he was being foolishly hopeful again, thinking that whatever it was had something to do with him. That's why you hadn't said anything when Taehyung interrupted, right?
Yoongi wonders what Taehyung's deal was, first he was being too clingy with you - not that it's any of his business - and now he's acting so painfully obvious; trying to get you both in a room alone. It didn't go over Yoongi's head, as not a lot of things do.
He purposely lets you win the race, though, your victory was unsounded as you set the controller aside. "Right... kitchen..."
"You know you could tell me anything, right?" Yoongi says softly, fingers just wanting to reach for yours, if just to offer comfort. He tucks them against his palm though, and into the pouch of his sweater for an extra precaution.
"Yeah I know," You smile faintly, "like old times right?"
"Yeah exactly, and I won't judge, you know that. So whatever it is, just say it."
Maybe his words were a bit harsh? You stiffen a bit in place, sighing through your nose before you turn to look at him. The determination from earlier is back in your eyes again, and Yoongi finds it impossible to hold your gaze, and he's the first to look away this time. Keep it together, will you?
He feels heat climbing his neck, racing to each of his cheeks and he hopes to god you just think he's going pink because it's cold in here. Seokjin really needs to get that crappy heater fixed so Yoongi can blame something if you ask about it.
"Okay so remember the time when you-"
"You two are being awfully quiet." Seokjin pokes his head into the room, staring at you both, but not too long, before his eyes find the tv screen. "Oh, Yoongi, did you win?"
"No..." Yoongi sighs, watching as you shut him out once more.
"Really? It was so quiet..."
You make an offended sound in the back of your throat, straightening a bit to glare at Seokjin.
"Yoongi, can you help me with the firepit?"
Yoongi follows Seokjin outside along the wrap-around porch, the sun was halfway in its descent, painting the sky in a flurry of soft colours. The lake glistens with amber crystals, catching the sun's sleepy gaze as it drifts slowly off behind the hills; almost out of sight.
The sunken fire pit was in the backyard, something Yoongi helped Seokjin install last year. He's quite proud of it really, he did most of the heavy lifting while Seokjin stood around telling him how and where he wanted things like a glorified dictator.
As Seokjin gathers the firewood and steps down the three steps to throw the logs into the firepit, Yoongi realises that he didn't actually need any help.
"Watching you try to talk to Y/n is so painful. Like that time I broke my arm but worse."
"I actually wasn't doing the talking." Yoongi grumbles, enjoying the satisfying crunch of gravel under his sandals as he walks over to the cushioned semi circle bench and sits to watch Seokjin do all the work. "You have terrible timing."
Seokjin scoffs, shaking his head, "It's a wonder Namjoon hasn't figured it out yet...you're so obvious."
Yoongi feels like Seokjin just isn't listening to him, continuing his mission of getting the fire going; his words completely ignored.
"Joon is oblivious sometimes."
"You are too."
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"Here, this one's longer."
Yoongi watches as Seokjin trades wires with Jungkook, patting him on the shoulder as the younger man happily sticks his marshmallow on the end of his wire. As usual when they're all together, there's laughter in the air, and the lightness Yoongi feels in his chest is something he misses when he's alone.
He watches the moon rise behind the trees, full and glowing brightly in the cloudless sky. The fire was warm, the burning wood crackling softly, sending little glowing sparks up into the air. Everyone had their own bag of marshmallows for toasting, with chocolate and biscuits for s'mores.
"This is nice," Hoseok comments, smacking Jimin's hand away from the smores he was setting up, tucking them into the corner of a small bowl he brought. Jimin gets one anyway; sneaking it away while Hoseok wasn't looking.
"Yeah, we haven't done this in forever." Namjoon sticks the wire with his marshmallow a little too close to the fire.
"It's gonna burn if you do it like that." Yoongi reaches over and raises Namjoon's hand higher.
"When it's burnt it's the best, though."
"Are you a sadist?" Taehyung frowns at Jungkook, "it's better when it's just a little toasty."
"It won't melt inside if you play kiss and tell with the fire. You gotta burn it." Jungkook's marshmallow was just on the edge of charred and Yoongi watches with mild disgust as he smushes the thing between pieces of chocolate and unsweetened biscuits. He shoves the entire thing in his mouth and closes his eyes, moaning around the treat like it's the best thing he's ever tasted.
"Um? There's no way you're enjoying that." Hoseok didn't try to hide how he felt about it, narrowing his eyes at Jungkook. "Stop moaning like that!"
"I wasn't moaning!"
"Yes you were!"
Yoongi shakes his head, turning to look at you, who sat next to him, eating out of your own bag of marshmallows. The wire Seokjin had given you is still in your lap, untouched.
"Want me to make one for you?" He asks softly, already sticking a marshmallow on his wire. He hangs it over the fire and twirls it so it gets nice and brown, "Do you want it with the cookies?"
"Yeah, thanks." You smile sweetly at him, and Yoongi feels his heart stutter in his chest.
Once he's finished assembling the s'more, he hands it over to you. You take a bite out of it, and Yoongi struggles to breathe the very next second at the sound you make, turning his head swiftly to stare into the fire as though it would save him.
"Dude, Y/n. That's gotta be the best s'more ever created." Taehyung says, snickering from across the firepit, "Yoongi make me one, too!"
"You can make it yourself." Yoongi's cheeks flush, passing you a bottle of water when you choke.
"I wanna make happy noises, too."
When the fire in the pit smolders and the embers of the wood burn orange, everyone is ready to call it a night. The younger ones escape to the second floor bunk room first, Seokjin and Hoseok right behind them.
Hoseok is trying to convince Seokjin to flip a coin for the master bedroom while they go up the stairs.
"Owner's rights, Hobi."
"You have any idea what it's like to share a bathroom with those three? Have a heart!"
Their voices fade, and Yoongi is left standing in the entryway with you and Namjoon, feeling awkward and not quite sure what he should do with his hands. So he shoves them in the pockets of his sweatpants, and drags his feet towards the kitchen, suddenly thirsty.
You and Namjoon are talking in hushed tones, too quiet for him to hear, but he pays it no mind, it isn't his business, really.
You come in a second later, moving to the fridge just as Yoongi moves past you, and he's a little curious, a little worried, because you look a bit upset. There's a frown tugging at the corner of your mouth as you crack open a bottle of water.
"Everything okay?" Yoongi asks softly, fingers just itching to reach out for you, but he holds his own bottled water a little tighter instead.
"Yeah...Joon is just..." You shake your head, "Are you staying up to watch the movie with us?"
Your change of subject didn't surprise Yoongi, you've been doing that a lot today. He lifts his shoulder in a shrug, "I might...do you want me to?"
Yoongi would give you anything you ask for right now, hell, he'd find a way to pull the moon from the sky if you asked it of him.
"Huh?" Your eyes seems panicked for a second as they dart away to stare off elsewhere. "If you want to, it's up to you really."
"Then I'll watch." He gives an easy smile, "Are you sure you're okay?" He steps closer, a hand meeting your cheek gently, unintentionally and without Yoongi's consent. Simply out of his need to offer you comfort when he can, and maybe it's his wishful thinking, maybe it's that stupid thing called hope again; Yoongi swears you lean into his touch. Your skin is warm, like cooling tea on a winter's morning.
"I'm fine," You're staring at his lips as you say this, and Yoongi's heart skips before it gallops, threatening to burst from his chest. Maybe he's imagining it, but you move a step closer, and he does too, leaning down a bit to meet your height, "I just wanted to.."
Just another inch, if he moves just an inch closer. You're so close now that your exhales mingles with his in the space between you both, he could feel the chill seeping off the bottled water you hold, pressed against his stomach where your hands linger.
Yoongi decides he's not going to be awkward right now, he's going to be brave and just do this. He's going to kiss you and pour everything he feels into it, and hope - prays - that you feel it too.
"Ahem."
You and Yoongi both spring apart like teenagers caught doing something they shouldn't. Yoongi's cheeks are heating up too quickly for him to stop it, and yours are too, and he doesn't want to turn around because he knows who's behind him.
Think fast, Yoongi. Think.
"I hope your eye feels better. You should kiss - rinse! Rinse with warm water. 'Cause you know...germs...could uh.... get in there.... "
Really? Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut, already anticipating his death when he turns to face the grim reaper behind him.
Namjoon stands in the kitchen doorway, eyebrow raised, doing that thing he does with his jaw. Yoongi feels a little faint, looking at the ugly painting Taehyung convinced Seokjin to buy and hang up in the living room over his head.
"Y/n had something in her eye and I was just checking." He looks back at you and you look just as confused as he's feeling, smiling though, as if his misery is funny to you. "R-remember. Warm water, okay?"
With that he leaves, not looking at Namjoon, who's gaze he could feel at the back of his head.
"Joon, are you serious?" Your voice was a harsh whisper, a little loud in the silence of the kitchen.
Yoongi walks away, hands in his pockets, not catching Namjoon's reply as he makes his escape. What the fuck was that?
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"Let's watch The Conjuring."
"Fuck that." Hoseok puts his palms up, "Unless you're willing to cuddle me to sleep, we're not watching that movie."
A chorus of groans fills the room, "For the love of God, just pick something already. Not you, Jungkook."
"It's not my fault Hobi's a coward."
Hoseok's reaches over Seokjin to smack the back of Jungkook's head, who immediately retaliates by hitting Seokjin instead. The three of them trade playful smacks for a moment, while Taehyung and Jimin argue about which movie would be best to watch.
"Okay let's just all pick something." You say, pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers, "Rock, paper, scissors, whoever wins; we'll watch."
Terrible idea really, everyone knows Jungkook is going to win.
Yoongi opts out, not really caring what goes up on the screen. He's sitting with his hands under his thighs, trying to keep them warm but at the same time, keeping them from doing something stupid. You're right next to him on the couch, he's once again hyper aware of your closeness, the way your arm would brush his every time you moved, the scent of your shampoo, soft and fruit scented.
He focuses on the way a single tear slips from Hoseok's eye, the way he tries to make himself as small as possible on the other couch next to Seokjin with a white knuckled grip on the latter's sweater. Jungkook triumphs in his endeavour of beating everyone who played against him, laughing, carefree and malicious as he pulls up The Conjuring.
Hoseok keeps his head tucked behind Seokjin's shoulder for most of the movie, clinging to him and jumping at every loud sound from the TV; poor guy's going through it.
Yoongi is just barely watching, staring at the screen, but not really following along - he has no idea what's going on. Mind too distracted with the fact that you chose to sit next to him and not next to anyone else. He's still reeling from the incident in the kitchen, glancing at Namjoon who was stuffing his face with popcorn, form outlined in the glow of the tv.
He could feel the warmth of your thigh through his sweatpants, and every little movement you'd make at the jumpscares and the loud sounds.
Hoseok dips halfway through, going up the darkened upstairs hallway with his phone torch on. Jungkook had the audacity to fall asleep, drooling on Seokjin's shoulder and mumbling unintelligible words; unbothered.
"I'm going to bed." Yoongi says to you, not really sleepy, but not interested in the movie enough to stay and watch. You grab at his hand and he pauses, "What?"
"You're leaving me here to suffer?"
"You're a big girl, you can take it." He shrugs, patting your hand before getting up. "Night guys."
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Yoongi lays quietly in his bed, staring up at the ceiling with a frown, unable to sleep. He turns his head, looking at the clock that blinks sleepily back at him and sighs, it's getting later into the night and sleep continues to evade him.
The house seemed to have quieted, the sound of Jimin and Taehyung arguing about who gets to use the upstairs bathroom first stopped a while ago, though, the stillness only allowed Yoongi's mind to wander off. He wonders if you're sleeping yet, he knows you have trouble sometimes, a common curse you both share.
He wonders about what you and Namjoon argued about, if it had anything to do with him. God he hopes not. The last thing he wants is for you and your brother to fall out because of him.
There's a soft knock on his door, quiet enough that he almost misses it. Just almost.
Yoongi gets out of bed, dragging his feet to the door. He isn't completely shocked to find you on the other side, looking like you're two seconds from walking away. Your hand still hovers, eyes impossibly big when they meet his in the soft light of the downstairs hallway.
"Hi." You say, softly, hand falling and gripping at the hem of a tee shirt he's sure belongs to Namjoon.
"...Hi?" Yoongi's brows furrow, not quite sure what you're doing knocking on his door at one in the morning, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just wanted to talk to you..." He lets you shuffle into his room, and you walk over to the bed while he closes the door.
"What I wanted to tell you earlier..." You sit on his bed, a good distance away, enough to leave the space between you both cold and Yoongi longing for you to come closer. You seem to be struggling, staying quiet for a little too long.
"Hey." Yoongi calls, "Whatever it is, you can tell me, okay? You know I'd never judge you." He feels the need to repeat himself, just in case you need to hear it again.
"You will." You glance at him, bottom lip caught between your teeth, and you shake your head, "This was stupid..."
"Hey, hey." Yoongi grabs your wrist, stopping you from getting up. "How about I look over there?" He points at a random spot beside him with a thumb, "I won't look at you and you can just say it." He turns for good measure, staring at the wall on the far side of the room.
You're silent for a moment, a long moment that has Yoongi wondering. Maybe he should stop pestering you about it, bury his curiosity - his concern - in a box somewhere to forget about. He's been on your back about it for most of the day, granted, the universe apparently didn't want you to say anything, not with the way you were constantly interrupted every time you tried to talk about it. He should take that as a sign and drop it all together.
"You okay back there?" Yoongi asks softly, turning his head slightly, but not facing you.
"I wasn't really drunk." You say
Confused, Yoongi's brows furrow, "Huh?" He turns to face you, "What are you talking about?"
"The night you picked me up outside that bar." You're not looking at him, instead, you're looking down at your hands in your lap. The events of that night comes rushing to the front of Yoongi's mind, the way you kissed him, how soft your lips were.
"Wait, so..." Something in Yoongi's ears was buzzing, loud and distracting, as realization dawned, he feels a heat rising from his toes. "You-" he stands quickly from the bed, now that he knows exactly why you've been trying to say all day, he thinks he just might lose it.
"Why'd you leave without saying anything?" It's the first thing out of his mouth and Yoongi wishes he'd just shut up.
"I was embarrassed that I just kissed you out of nowhere like that. And you pushed me away, what else was I supposed to do?" You say in a rush, "I know you only see me as Namjoon's little sister."
"I don't." Yoongi says, and at your pause, his palms start to sweat, heart kicking against his ribcage. "Why did you kiss me that night?"
"You probably think it was because I was drunk. That wasn't it." You look him in the eye, "I wanted to."
Yoongi takes a breath and a moment to think carefully about what he's about to say, "Y/n." He runs his palms against his thighs, bottom lip caught between his teeth. "You were drunk. Just out of a relationship and you only kissed me because you were hurting, that's it."
"That's not-" You sigh loudly, pursing your lips and staring at the ceiling, "Do you even know why I dated that idiot? It's because you..." You trail off, picking at a loose thread on your t shirt.
Yoongi waits, giving you the moment you need to gather your words.
"I dated him so that I could forget you." You say softly, not looking at him, and Yoongi feels like he's buffering, like a frozen computer screen. Just standing there as he processes your words, it's taking a while to sink in, or they have, Yoongi is only trying to understand them. "I thought that dating him you would..."
Yoongi sighs, "Tell me something, yeah?"
You nod quietly, waiting. Yoongi watches you for a moment, he's more curious now, "How long?"
He watches as you fluster, eyes darting around to look at anywhere that isn't him. The way your fingers pinch at the dark sheets on the bed, you draw your bottom lip between your teeth and Yoongi just wants to kiss you. But as he's been doing all day, he gives you a moment; Yoongi is nothing but patient.
"Since we met?"
Is that a question? There Yoongi goes buffering again. He blinks a couple of times, mind going through the motions of his forced epiphany. The moments when you used to follow him and Namjoon around, all the staying up late texting as though you both were more than you were at the time.
"I really really like you and I tried to show you that night, but well..."
You get up from his bed with a sigh and step towards him and Yoongi tries his best not to take a step back, he allows you to reach him, to stand close enough for him to touch. He's panicking, on the inside, a voice in the back of his mind telling him that this is a terrible idea and that he should probably stop you.
He can't bring himself to, words stuck in his throat.
You're closer now, Yoongi could feel the warmth of you, and he swears this time that he'll be brave. So he kisses you first, fingers tangling in your hair, a hand gripping your waist to pull you even closer. He feels your hands against his chest as his eyes close, your lips are warm and as soft as he remembers, and he groans at the taste of you. His tongue finds yours, slowly, sliding against yours and he wants to savour this, commit your every sound to memory. Yoongi groans when your hands slide into his hair, tugging lightly at the nape of his neck.
He pulls back for air, lungs trying to take in as much air as possible, too quickly, he feels lightheaded. But that could just be because of you. He presses a fleeting kiss at the corner of your mouth, nose brushing against yours lightly. He's pretty sure this is what being high feels like, the rushing of his blood in his ears and the tingling at the tips of his fingers.
"You're gonna end me." Namjoon will too. The thought alone was enough to make Yoongi pause, realise the grip he had on your hips. One of his hands is just shy of the exposed skin under your tee shirt, hyper aware of the way your chest is pressed to his, your lips on his neck.
Namjoon is going to kill him.
He feels your teeth nip at the skin of his neck and he hisses between his teeth, your tongue follows. He pulls away, pushing you from him gently to take a couple steps back. He sees the question in your eyes, the soft furrow of your brows. He sighs through his nose, thinking about how much of a terrible idea this was, and how Namjoon would very likely drown him in the lake.
"Y/n...we can't." This was the reason he pushed you away the first time. Yoongi likes to think ahead, think about all the outcomes of a situation before he walks into it. This could go two ways, and Yoongi's mind can only focus on the worst scenario. What if this goes wrong? What if doing this now ruins everything, he'd not only lose you, but Namjoon as well.
He sees your pout and he looks away, wondering why he can't just let it happen and deal with the consequences later. But Yoongi isn't like that. He likes to sit and over think things.
"Is this about Namjoon?"
Yoongi startles at your question, jolting a bit as he drops his hands from your waist, fingers curling against his palm. He's not as good at hiding his thoughts as he presumed, or you just knew him too well for his own good. He answers your question with a silent nod, not meeting your eyes in the darkness of his room.
"Yoongi. He wouldn't care. Namjoon can't do anything, what I do isn't his business."
Yoongi goes to argue that that's not the point. You were so off the mark that he almost laughed, Namjoon wouldn't care what you thought. He wouldn't be able to look past Yoongi even thinking about touching you. So much for being brave.
You sigh, and Yoongi catches the hurt in the sound.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't push me away again, please." You reach for him and Yoongi doesn't stop you, because he can; he doesn't want to. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to."
"Are you sure?" He asks seriously, catching your wrist, ducking his head so that he could meet your eyes properly, "Tell me now that this is okay because when I start I won't stop."
You barely got to nod before Yoongi was kissing you again, pouring everything he had into it, hands moving down to grip at your ass in your cotton shorts. He takes careful steps, walking you backwards towards the bed.
"Just let me take care of you, yeah?" Yoongi gently pushes you back onto the bed, taking his time to strip you out of your clothes. Not letting his worries and doubts stop him from telling you how beautiful you are, or from kissing every inch of skin revealed to his eyes.
He kisses his way down your thighs once your shorts and panties are out of the way, stopping every now and then to nibble at the soft flesh. Your little sighs and moans are something he wants to record and keep with him forever, even though he wouldn't need them to remember.
He touches you lightly, just to tease, sliding his hands down your thighs, eyes locked on your glistening pussy. He wants to draw this out, ignoring your impatient whine and the rise of your hips at his touch. He's waited so long for this, wanting to taste you beyond the kiss you shared so long ago, Yoongi wants to make you beg. Reduce you to a mumbling mess of incoherent words, but at the same time, he too is impatient.
He shushes you gently at your call of his name, fingers parting your folds and watching the way your pussy clenches around nothing at his gaze. "So pretty, baby."
It was your only warning before he dove in, licking a board stripe from your engerance to your clit, focusing the tip of his tongue at the bundle of nerves. You suck in a sharp breath, hand tugging at his hair and it only spurs Yoongi on. He sucks gently in your clit, tongue moving in slow figures and dips a finger into your wet heat. He groans at the way your cunt just sucks him in, arousal dripping down his hand and he adds another, curling them against the soft spot within you.
He looks up at you, past your heaving chest to your fucked out face. Your parted lips, furrowed brows, glazed eyes looking back at him.
"Yoon--fuck."
Yoongi groans lowly in his throat, pressing his tongue flat against your clit, mouth flooding with your taste. He'd stay there forever if you gave him the chance, listening to the way your breath hitches and the sound of your moans and the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He wraps his lips around your clit and sucks harshly. He drives his tongue inside you, and the whine that leaves you has him rutting his hips against the bed. He can't get enough of your taste, the way your pussy clenches he's around his fingers.
"You taste so good, baby." Yoongi loves the way you grip at his hair, the way you tug sends tingles down his spine. He thrusts two fingers inside you, crooking them right, hitting the spot that sends your moans into a higher octave. He can't be bothered with how loud you're being, or if anyone's awake right now and would know exactly what you're both up to. You don't seem to care either, too lost in the pleasure; moaning his name.
"F-fuck, right there," you whimper, thighs tensing around his head. Yoongi groans as he obeys, crooking his fingers and rubbing at the spot that makes you sing so sweetly. His lips never leave your clit, tongue swirling around the swollen nub in figure eights. Dragging his fingers within the tightness of your dripping heat, he could tell you're close, feeling the way your thighs tremble. "Fu-"
Your back arches off the sheets, and Yoongi moans when your release gushes out of you and into his mouth. He stays there and takes it all, until you push at him instead of pull and Yoongi lets up, running his hands up your sides in an attempt to soothe as you tremble in the after wave. "You doing okay?"
"Yeah," you squeak out and Yoongi chuckles, getting up to sit back on his thighs. He watches you for a moment, watching the way your chest heaves with your every breath, your hair a tangled mess against his pillows. His eyes trail your form, down to the mess between your thighs that twitched at his attention.
"Sure? You good to go on?" He asks to be sure, squeezing your hip gently. You nod, reaching for him and he goes without complaint, caging you within his arms and kisses you slowly. His tongue tangles with yours, and he grinds his hips down against yours, seeking friction for his aching cock, dampening the front of his sweatpants.
"Fuck that feels so good." He groans, sucking bruises into the soft skin of your neck. He angles his hips so that the length of his cock rubs directly against your clit, shuddering, it feels so good and Yoongi can't stop. He slows down though, because he could feel his release racing down his spine. "Fuck, baby."
"Wanna..." You push at his shoulders, "Wanna suck your cock." Your hands are at the drawstrings of his sweatpants already, tugging, "Wanna taste you, too."
"Fuck, okay."
Yoongi gets off the bed to shuck off his sweats, cock springing free, red and pulsing, precum beading at the tip. He chuckles at your facial expression, eyes surprised even though your bottom lip is caught between your teeth. He notes the way your eyes follow the movement of his hand, he grips his cock and squeezes, thumb catching the translucent drop and dragging it down his shaft.
"You're big."
"Good for you, then?" He pumps his shaft slowly, whispering curses under his breath.
You roll your eyes, "It wouldn't have mattered if-"
"Shh." Yoongi shushes and crooks the fingers of his free hand at you, "Come here."
He leans down to grab a pillow behind you, pausing, "Where's comfortable for you?"
"Wherever you want me," you say sweetly, and it would've been cute with the way you smile, if it wasn't for the look in your eyes. For a moment Yoongi feels like he's in for way more than he bargained for, with you looking so pretty, alluring, like a succubus ready to siphon his soul. Such a far contrast from the you of earlier, fumbling with your words and flushing under his gaze.
"This isn't about me." Yoongi swallows, "Are you kneeling or do you wanna stay on the bed?"
"I'll stay here." You make yourself comfortable, propping up on your elbows, and Yoongi passes you the pillow to help you reach his hips in your position. You slide the pillow under your chest, already reaching for him before he steps closer and Yoongi sucks in a sharp breath when your smaller hand wraps around his cock.
You mirror his motions from before, pumping slowly and Yoongi's not sure if you're teasing him or not. Tongue snaking out to kitten lick at the head, you swirl it around before taking it into your mouth.
"Ah fuck." Yoongi throws his head back, a hand finding your hair as you take him slowly to the back of your throat. He feels your exhales against his tummy, just barely, his mind too muddled to focus on anything but the warmth of your throat and the wiggling of your tongue under his shaft. "You're doing so good, baby."
You hum a gurgle of a word Yoongi would probably never decipher, the vibrations around the head of his cock has him tugging lightly on your hair and pulling out and away from your mouth, breathing hard. He'd be damned if he comes so quickly, that shit will probably haunt him for the rest of his life.
There's a string of spit connecting your lips to his cock, and you smile like the minx you are, not letting him get far enough away before you're taking his cock into your mouth again, bobbing your head at a quick pace. Yoongi could cry, he's trying so hard, there's sweat dripping from his hair, you're pulling him closer, taking him deeper and his eyes roll back.
"Shit. Slow down." His words trail off in a moan, and he's unable to help the rolling of his hips, thrusting his cock into the warmth of your throat, gently, mindful of your breathing. You swallow and he swears, thighs tensing and he stops, pulling away again to release a stuttered exhale. Leaning down, he kisses you, licking into your mouth with haste, tasting himself on your tongue. "Wanna fuck you." He breathes against your lips, releasing your hair for you to scoot back up the bed.
He's quick to follow, slotting his hips between your thighs, stopping to map bruises against the skin of your chest. He laves his tongue over a nipple, fingers toying with the other, he takes the pebbled bud into his mouth just to hear you make a pretty sound.
"Yoongi." You whine his name, and Yoongi doesn't waste another second, hooking one of your knees over his elbow, other hand guiding his cock to your wet cunt. He stays there for a moment, tapping his cock against your clit just to watch you squirm. You raise your hips to meet his teasing thrusts and Yoongi chuckles, easing back to slowly drag his cock down your slit until it prods at your entrance.
He slowly presses into you, watching the way your pussy sucks him in, arousal coating his cock. "You're so fucking tight." Yoongi stills, gripping your hips, watching you through a lust filled haze. He thrusts shallowly into you until he bottoms out and stills, free hand squeezing your hip gently. He swipes his tongue over his thumb, pressing the digit against your clit to rub in slow circles, "Relax for me, baby."
When he feels your body relax around him, he moves, setting a slow pace to start, leaning down to slot his lips over yours, swallowing the sounds you made. You arms wrap around his neck, nails scraping red, angry lines at his shoulder blades. The pain only heightens the pleasure he feels, crossing his eyes and curling his toes.
"Fuck." Yoongi bites gently on your earlobe, "You're so good for me baby. So fucking good. Taking my cock so well."
He knows you're getting tired of his pace. You're lifting your hips to meet his thrust, moaning helplessly into his ears. "Want more, baby?" He leans back in time to catch your nod, kiss swollen bottom lip caught between your teeth. He grips your hips again, keeping you from moving, and slows down just to watch you squirm and beg for him.
"Ple-fuck. Jus-" your words cut off with a gasp, hands gripping Yoongi's wrists where he holds you. He sets a punishing pace, the sound of his thighs hitting your ass loud in the quiet of the room. "Oh F-fuck, Yoongi."
"This what you wanted, hmm?" He tilts his head at you, one eyebrow raised, sliding a hand up your sweat slicked skin to cup your jaw, you take his thumb into your mouth and Yoongi's cock pulses with the need for his release. He smirks, pressing his thumb down on your tongue, pace never faltering, his nerves are on the edge of frying, orgasm tingling at the end of his spine. Pulling his hand away from your mouth and presses his thumb against your clit, looking down at the way his ccok, covered in your arousal, disappears inside you.
Yoongi groans, the sound rumbling in his chest, feeling your pussy clenching around his cock, squeezing tight as your breath hitches. "Ah--fuck I'm gonna-"
"Yeah? Come for me, baby." As your body tenses and tremble, Yoongi chases his end, hips stuttering and he gasps, cock throbbing in time with his heartbeat as his release spills into you. "Oh fuck."
Head light and ears ringing, Yoongi kisses you, it's more tongue than anything else, but he doesn't care. He does his best to keep the full weight of him off you, peppering kisses along your jaw. He feels your every breath and his sweat cools on his skin, "You okay?"
There's sweat burning his eyes and he squints at you as you push his hair back and away from his face, you're smiling and giggling shyly. Like if he told you a joke and didn't just fuck you nine ways to hell. "I'm perfect."
He presses a kiss to your cheek, leaning back up again to carefully slip his softening cock out of your still pulsing walls. His release comes flowing out not two seconds after, he watches with his bottom lip between his teeth, cock giving an interested twitch.
Yoongi gets up before he starts something again, because he just might die trying to go through a second round so quickly. "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He looks around on the floor for where he left his sweatpants, he puts them on and shuffles quickly to the door. He only realises just how quiet it is now that it's quiet, he realises how loud the two of you were being.
He goes back to you with a warm, damp washrag, finding you close to falling asleep. He cleans you up anyway, mindful of your sensitivity.
When he's done he watches you for a moment, fingers finding yours first. Mindlessly he fiddles with them and reaches for his discarded shirt and passes it to you, releases your hand only for you to put it on. "We probably could've done this sooner." You say softly, smiling.
Yoongi tilts his head, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, "What? The sex or...?"
You lightly swat his arm, "You know what I mean."
"I do." Yoongi presses a kiss to your wrist, sighing when you gently lay that palm against his cheek. He believes that action speaks volumes and there's no need for words, but he realises that he hadn't said it back to you earlier. Though, he was very much distracted and his thoughts were absent. "I like you too...alot...just in case that wasn't clear."
He shifts on the bed to be closer to you and leans his head on your shoulder, "I'm sorry it took me so long. It takes me a while to come to terms with things. I overthink and make things harder for myself, I wasn't sure if this was the right way to go."
You hum softly, breath tickling his ears, "It's okay. I suck too. We could've avoided the run around if I'd just told you."
"Yeah, you're terrible. I had no idea what to do with your smoke signals." Yoongi raises his head, chuckling. Leaning over, he presses a kiss to your forehead and tilts your chin to kiss you softly. "Can I take you out? When we get back."
"Yeah, I'd like that."
Yoongi smiles, feeling like a kid and nudges you softly, "Go pee. I'll strip the sheets, go on."
He watches as you walk on wobbly legs till you reach the door and pause, turning your head to watch him with wide eyes, "you don't think they heard us, do you?"
"Nah, they're asleep."
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"Dude, whoever was watching their porn so loudly last night, fuck you. Honestly, the lack of respect in this household."
It's the first thing Jimin says when he comes downstairs the next morning, looking like he'd slept on the wrong side of the bed. Eyes swollen as he takes the coffee Seokjin offers and the sympathetic pat to his shoulder.
Yoongi ignores the conversation, even though you looked like you were about to combust next to him. Seokjin was giving him a look from his spot by the stove, looking ridiculous in the pink apron he favoured.
"Yeah the walls are so thin in here it's wild." Seokjin wiggles his eyebrows at Yoongi and you choose that moment to choke on your sip of orange juice.
Taehyung pauses, fork halfway to his mouth with a strip of bacon hanging for dear life at the end of it. He looks between the both of you for a quiet moment, strong brows furrowed until something lights in his eyes. "Oh my god."
Jimin, who's slumping in his seat, looking like he wanted nothing more than to crawl his way back upstairs perks up at Taehyung's words, "What?"
Yoongi stares silently at Taehyung, daring him to open his big mouth and say exactly what he definitely wants to say.
"Nothing. Nothing...." Taehyung waves his hand with the fork, sending the piece of bacon flying off it and into his glass of orange juice. Jimin watches on with disgust as Taehyung fishes the piece out of the cup and tosses it into his mouth.
"The bin is right there."
"Are you drinking the juice?"
Yoongi runs circles into the skin of your knee, as Taehyung and Jimin bicker.
"Oh, Joon. Come eat." Seokjin wanders over to the entrance and Yoongi just barely catches the sight of Namjoon passing by, saying that he was going for a walk first. Hoseok and Jungkook enter just then, finding their spots at the table as Seokjin sets plates for them.
"I'll be right back." Yoongi says softly, pressing a kiss to your temple, leaving Jimin sputtering into his coffee. He pushes his chair back and stands, catching the way Hoseok squints at you.
He points, not saying anything before he leans around Taehyung to smack at Jimin's arm, "I told you so! You owe me fifty."
"Bold of you to assume I came here with money."
"You guys made a bet?" You ask, incredulous.
"Yeah. It's either someone was watching porn, or someone was getting it. You and Yoongi are the only ones not sharing a room..."
Hoseok voice fades as Yoongi shuts the front door behind him. It's cold, mist and dew clinging to the world and Yoongi regrets leaving his sweater in his room. He rubs his hands over his arms, the long sleeves of his t shirt barely keeping him warm.
Namjoon's already walking, a good distance from the house near the lake's edge. Yoongi takes his time walking over, gravel crunching under his feet, he slots his hands into his pockets to keep them warm.
When he reaches Namjoon, the younger man is crouched down, cooing at something on the ground. There's a little crab scurrying around trying to get away from Namjoon's curious fingers.
"Just let the little guy be." Yoongi announces himself, "Thing's probably scared shitless."
"I just wanna pick him up, though," Namjoon continues to try, sighing when the little crab escapes into the lake. "Oh well.." He dusts his hands and stands up, finally looking over at Yoongi.
"Aren't you cold?" He asks, and remembering he's standing out in a tshirt and sweats, Yoongi shivers. Namjoon looks all cozy in his beige sweater and matching beanie.
"I wanted to run something by you." Yoongi says, looking out at the lake and the way the light of the morning sun glitters against the still waters. He shoves his cold hands into the pockets of his pants, rubbing his thumb over his curled fingers. He realised that this is going to be as hard as trying to talk to you, and Namjoon waits patiently, watching Yoongi with eyes that seemed to know too much.
"Uh.." Yoongi chances a look, glancing at Namjoon who's just as quiet as him, waiting. "Look man, Y/n and I had a talk last night."
"Right?" Namjoon gives him a look, a confused one, head tilting and all.
Yoongi takes a breath and decides to go headfirst, though he takes a step back from Namjoon to be sure. "I really like your sister and we talked about it and I just wanted you to know that."
The uncomfortable look that morphs Namjoon's features wasn't what Yoongi was expecting, especially since the look stays there for a while as Namjoon just stares at him. He raises a hand to scratch at his cheek, "Dude."
"What?"
"Are you saying that I owe Hoseok fifty dollars?"
"...Eh?" Yoongi's confused, and it feels as though he's spent this whole weekend running on pure confused energy. Namjoon shakes his head, laughing in a way that makes Yoongi take another step back.
"I know. You two are terrible at hiding shit." Namjoon points his thumb over his shoulder, back at the house where he glances. From where he stands, he could see Seokjin, Taehyung and Jimin peering out through the window. "I know my sister, and I know my best friend. You guys are adults, so, really, there's nothing I can do but watch it happen."
Namjoon shrugs, and Yoongi flushes, cheeks heating. "But when I met her...you...you gave me a look."
"I was trying to ask if you wanted water!"
"That was not a 'do you want water' look, Joon."
Namjoon reaches over and pats his shoulder softly, hand lingering, "You have my blessing, if that's what you came to ask for." He smiles, eyes disappearing, but Yoongi's relief is cut short when he tries to shift away, Namjoon's grip tightening. "Though, she's still my little sister. I know where you live."
Yoongi chuckles, a little scared.
"Good talk." Namjoon nods to himself, "I'm going inside. Get out of the cold!"
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Tagging: @madbutgloriouspond @blog-name-idk @taestefully-in-luv @btsstan12 @hamsterclaw @allhobbitstoisengard @dontstoptime @doneimnida @here2bbtstrash
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joon4eva · 11 months
Text
home — kim namjoon.
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summary: in a world of distractions and uncertainty, namjoon's only wish is simple yet profound: to always find his way back home—to you.
genre: established relationship / idol au ✰ fluff ✰ smut (18+ pls)
word count: ~5,804 words
tags/warnings: so much kissing, namjoon is so needy, kitchen sex, oral sex (f. receiving), unprotected sex, doggy-style position, voyeurism, creampie, aftercare, there's slight angst if you squint - oc confronts namjoon about his mental health but just straight up domestic as hell afterwards (pls give me)
masterlist :)
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the moment the sun had risen, the day had felt incessantly long for namjoon.
the door to his apartment swings opens and he can't help but let out a tired sigh of relief.
he steps inside and quietly closes the door behind him, leaning against it and closing his eyes for a moment to catch his breath and soak in the warmth of being back home.
slowly lifting his heavy eyelids, he kicks off his shoes and shrugs off his coat before sluggishly making his way towards the inviting kitchen.
every step feels like a struggle as he deals with the splitting headache that's been plaguing him all day. it seems like anything that could have gone wrong this week did.
dance rehearsals had proved to be nothing short of disastrous. hobi had constantly been on namjoon's case about each little misstep; it felt as if there wasn't even a single moment of peace to be found.
things only seemed to get worse when namjoon retreated to his studio, only to endure a painful eight-hour session without managing to stitch together a single line of lyrics. every imaginable obstacle and setback had plagued him.
maybe the worst of all was how much he missed you. it had been more than a week since he last saw you properly – only catching glimpses of you in the mornings when you shared a quick kiss at breakfast or late at night when you were already asleep, and it only compounded the stress he was feeling.
namjoon nears the kitchen, but stops dead in his tracks - suddenly realizing how different his apartment seemed tonight.
his usually dim apartment is lit up with warm light that softly spills into every corner. there's soothing music emanating from the vinyl record player – playing an album that you'd bought together; and perhaps most strikingly, the most enticing smell dances tantalizingly through the air, coming from the kitchen.
a soft smile graces his lips when he takes in the sight of you, humming to yourself as you stir something on the stove.
between stirs, you take small, appreciative sips of wine from a glass resting on the nearby counter. you were also wearing that green floral sundress that he adored so much, the one that never failed to remind him of that first time he saw you in it.
he recalled sitting comfortably in the living room, engrossed in a book, when you shyly walked in wearing the new dress you had bought. the soft sound of your voice beckoned his attention, and as he lifted his gaze, his breath caught in his throat.
"what do you think?" you asked, giving a little twirl as you stood in front of him.
his eyes widened as he took in the sight before him: your figure beautifully framed by the mid-thigh length dress, a tempting side slit elongating your legs. the dress hugged your curves perfectly, emphasizing the swell of your breasts that filled the cups just right.
for a moment, he simply stared at you, rendered speechless by how absolutely stunning you looked.
worried that his silence meant he didn't approve, you looked down at floor and asked hesitantly, "do…do you not like it?"
snapping back to reality, namjoon tossed his book on the coffee table and swept you into his embrace, his arms enveloping you as he pulled you onto his lap.
his fingers gently cupped your chin, tilting your face upward to meet his gaze, the heat of your breath mingling as your noses brushed against each other. "i love it," he murmured against your lips.
his tongue darted out, moistening his lips before he pressed a teasingly damp kiss to the corner.
"really?" you asked breathlessly, anchoring yourself by clutching onto his broad shoulders.
"really," he hummed approvingly as his large hands slid beneath the fabric of your dress, cupping and squeezing your ass.
his lips tenderly planted soft kisses along your collarbone, trailing down to the curve of your breasts. guiding your hips forward, you could feel the growing hardness beneath namjoon's shorts brush deliciously against your clothed clit, eliciting a gasp from your lips.
before either of you knew it, your dress was bunched up at your waist, exposing your bare skin to the air as you sank down on his cock, feeling him divinely split you open. and with that same dress still on, he skillfully brought you to climax not once, but three times.
in swift, purposeful strides, namjoon closes the distance between you, his presence enveloping you from behind.
startled by his sudden arrival, your body tenses for a moment before recognizing the familiar touch. a soft sigh of relief escapes your lips, and you allow yourself to relax into his strong arms as they encircle you, embracing his solidity and warmth against your back.
his lips graze against the sensitive skin of your earlobe, imparting an enduring trace of warmth as he gently plants a swift yet tender kiss there. his breath, which is warm and welcoming, brushes against your ear as he whispers a soft greeting in a tone that is both low and smooth.
"hi," he murmurs with an almost seductive timbre.
you slowly turn within his hold, facing him directly, feeling his hands shift to find stability on the counter behind you. his fingers curl and tense slightly to accommodate his weight while effectively ensuring you remain close to him, trapped within his proximity.
"hi," you reply softly, feeling an uncontainable smile spread across your face.
namjoon's dark eyes drink in every detail of your appearance, unabashedly checking you out.
his gaze trails lingeringly over your chest for just a moment before finding its way back to meet your own eyes again. unable to contain yourself, you let out a soft giggle as you catch him in the act.
namjoon simply grins at your knowing expression before narrowing the already-minimal gap between you further.
closing that final distance between you both completely with a sweet yet short kiss pressed upon his pouted lips; namjoon offers an exaggerated look of disappointment in response to the briefness of the contact — only making you smile wider and ready to indulge him further.
"you could've lingered a little longer.”
"i didn't realize i was being timed," you retort playfully and press another feathery light kiss on the tip of his nose.
he chuckles softly at your words and leans down to lock his lips with yours again, this time deepening the kiss, as his arms wrap securely around you.
your own hands instinctively find their way to his broad shoulders and upwards to cradle his face.
namjoon breaks the kiss, breathing heavily, but continues to keep you close, his eyes searching yours for a confirmation of some unspoken question.
"i missed you," namjoon confesses, his tone genuine and vulnerable, as he unconsciously resumes pressing delicate kisses on your exposed neck and shoulder.
"i missed you too," you admit, biting your lip to hide a grin.
an appreciative hum escapes namjoon's lips as he pulls back just far enough to see your face again. he gives you a tender smile that manages to be both somber and radiant at once.
in an instant, however, the moment is interrupted by the sudden billowing of steam from a pot on the stove.
you part from his embrace to quickly stride over to the stovetop and move the pot to a different burner, shutting off the burner completely.
with deft movements, you grab a wooden spoon from the countertop and give the contents of the pot a swift stir, ensuring that nothing has scorched during your brief interlude.
namjoon watches you from a distance, a contented and endearing smile slowly spreading across his face as he observes your movements.
unable to resist any longer, namjoon saunters over to where you stand working at the stove. he quietly positions himself behind you once again and lovingly wraps his arms around your waist.
his fingers teasingly wander along your hips and thighs, tracing delicate patterns through the fabric of your dress and eliciting a mix of laughter and mild admonishment from you.
his nimble fingers begin their descent down your abdomen, teasingly grazing lower and lower until they flirt with the hem of your dress.
"namjoon…" you chastise him in a tone laden with feigned exasperation. "i'm trying to cook here," you continue while juggling between suppressing giggles and maintaining focus on the task at hand. he chuckles as his hands persist in their exploration, not deterred by your plea.
the warmth of namjoon's breath cascades onto your neck as he presses tender kisses upon your delicate skin.
as he presses his lips against a particular spot on your neck, he feels satisfaction when he hears a soft moan escape your mouth with pleasure that is undoubtedly amplified by the sensitive reaction your body is having to his touch. it seems as if your will has started to waver, causing namjoon to switch from gentle pecks to a firmer bite that leaves a mark.
"but i want you," he whispers into your ear. "let me have you, please."
the bulge in his pants is almost painfully obvious now, as he presses firmly against you. his longing is tangible in every word he utters.
just then, he deliberately sinks his teeth into a particularly sensitive spot on your neck and sucks on it softly, eliciting a moan that escapes your lips before you even realize it.
namjoon's hands slip under the hem of your dress and graze dangerously close to your panties. his fingers slowly make contact with your clothed heat, and every muscle in your body momentarily seizes up as a small gasp escapes your lips. the unexpected sensation prompts your head to drop back onto his sturdy shoulder, struggling to suppress another moan.
"can i?" he inquires voice barely audible, awaiting your consent.
in that instant, one thing becomes abundantly clear: the dinner simmering on the stove is no longer the priority.
you quickly place a lid on the pot before spinning around within namjoon's arms. your eyes lock onto his for a moment before you press your lips against his in a fervent kiss. your arms wrap around him tightly, pulling him closer to you.
the low groan that emanates from namjoon sends a jolt through your body; with a swiftness borne from urgency, his hands deftly sweep down to find purchase on the backs of your thighs - hoisting you up with ease and enticing your legs to encircle his waist.
namjoon's steady strides carry both of you across the kitchen floor until he gently positions you atop the cool countertop situated on the opposite side of the island.
desperation flares wildly within both of you as you tangle together, hands urgently tugging and pulling, craving more skin-on-skin contact. it feels like forever since you were able to feel namjoon like this. fingers glide along your waist, caress the swell of your breasts, and trace the contours of your hips. your back arches, seeking more of his touch, as he maps every inch of you with his hands and lips.
your hands find their way to the hem of namjoon's shirt, lifting it up and over his head before discarding it onto the kitchen floor. his hands respond in kind, roughly lowering the straps of your dress and helping you shimmy out of it until it too joins the growing pile on the floor.
with heightened anticipation growing within both of you, namjoon guides hot and wet kisses fervently along your body.
his steady hands nudge you gently to lean back against the cold countertop, the stark contrast of temperatures sending a shiver up your spine.
moans of pleasure escape your lips as his passionate kisses trail increasingly closer to your sensitive core, teasingly delivering tender bites here and there as he continues his descent.
your wetness has managed to seep through the delicate fabric of your panties, prompting you to bite your lip in anticipation.
a long, lingering kiss lands on your clothed clit, causing your hips to involuntarily jolt forward, a moan escaping your parted lips. a soft chuckle follows from him at this observation.
"so sensitive," he hums in appreciation.
his lips press against the delicate bundle of nerves again, his nose playfully nudging your clit, eliciting a desperate huff from you.
growing more eager by the moment, you call out his name—your voice thick with longing and desire.
namjoon's fingers delicately dip under the lace waistband, painstakingly drawing down the fabric until finally casting it onto the floor with your dress, leaving you in just a lace bra. the soft glow radiating from the kitchen lights causes your glistening core to shimmer enticingly, drawing him ever closer.
namjoon proceeds to press one more adoring kiss upon the delicate skin lining the inside of your thigh.
gently, he guides his tongue from your entrance up to your clit, fully embracing it with his warm mouth as he expertly sucks and swirls. your moans flow without restraint, your fingers instinctively reaching to tangle themselves in his soft hair, while namjoon holds onto your hips with a steady grip, keeping you in place.
his position between your thighs grants him a front-row seat to the most stunning view of your face — the adorable way your features scrunch up and the parted lips emitting those sweet sounds he adores so much.
he plunges a finger inside of you, watching as your eyes flutter close and a drawn-out moan escapes from your lips.
he lifts his head, with traces of your arousal on his chin and nose. his voice floats up to tease you even more, "feels good, doesn't it?"
it's a question that doesn't really need an answer; it's clear just by looking at you. however, he asks it anyway – perhaps to coax a response from you – or simply to hear you say it.
biting your lip to suppress further cries of delight, you can only nod eagerly in response. a slight frown forms on namjoon's face; he wants to hear you say it.
"say it," he insists softly but firmly. the sensation overwhelms you as he adds another finger, stretching and filling you completely.
you can feel tears well up in your eyes as waves of pure pleasure course through every nerve ending and surge like distant tides toward their unrelenting climax.
clutching onto namjoon's hair and grinding your hips against his mouth, you manage to nod eagerly and stutter out through gasps and moans, "y-yes, baby. oh, god, it feels s-… so good."
namjoon smiles affectionately at your submission; pleased by your response.
"good girl," he murmurs softly before returning to his fervent actions.
his mouth dives between your thighs again — working as if he were a starving man finally eating for the first time in weeks. his fingers move skillfully inside you, delicately curving and thrusting while his lips and tongue work in sync, lapping at your sensitive clit with perfectly timed flicks and gentle suction.
the sensation becomes all-encompassing as your body finally succumbs to the intensity of the orgasm that rips through you, the tremors and shivers rippling through your body and leaving you gasping for breath.
namjoon gradually eases the pace of his movements.
he releases a soft hum of satisfaction as he tenderly cleans you up with feathery licks at your slit, each gentle touch causing you to whimper from the lingering oversensitivity.
slowly raising his head from between your thighs, namjoon peppers tender kisses along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. his lips continue upward until they reach your abdomen, where he plants more sweet kisses. then, with a gentle hold on your arms, he helps you sit up on the countertop.
you eagerly wrap your legs around his waist, simultaneously drawing his face to yours with your hands as you reel him in for a hungry, open-mouthed kiss. your tongue ventures into his welcoming mouth, keen on tasting yourself on his lips.
he wraps his strong arms around you, his hands making their way up to tangle in your hair. with a gentle tug, he pulls your head back slightly, causing a moan to escape your lips as he leaves a trail of soft kisses along your neck. he applies a little pressure, causing your head to tilt back as you sigh in delight.
suddenly and without warning, namjoon firmly grips your thighs and slides you off the counter. he hoists you up, cradling your naked body against his waist and carries you with long strides toward the bedroom.
"wait! wait, my wine!" you exclaim with a giggle.
namjoon pulls back slightly and chuckles in disbelief, "honey, can't it wait?" you pout playfully at him and he lets out a mock sigh of exasperation before turning back towards the kitchen island.
careful not to drop you, he retraces his steps to the other side of the kitchen island so that you can reach for your wine glass.
both of you laugh as namjoon turns back around to his bedroom and nearly sprints down the hallway, narrowly avoiding spilling your drink on the floor or bumping into any furniture.
upon reaching the bedroom door, he gently sets you down on the bed as you lounge back.
you're holding onto your half-full wine glass, and you prop yourself up on your elbow, taking in the sight of namjoon as he eagerly unbuckles his belt.
he slides down his pants and boxers in one smooth motion, his throbbing length slapping against his abdomen.
as you watch him, you hold onto the wine glass in one hand while using the other to unclasp your bra.
you toss the discarded lingerie onto the floor and watch as namjoon's eyes follow its descent before locking onto you once more.
he moves forward on sturdy legs, his knees finally meeting the soft mattress as he positions himself over you. his fingers find the rim of your glass, plucking it from your hand as he chuckles softly, "i've definitely earned some of this."
with that, he drains the remaining liquid in two large gulps before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and setting the glass down on the nearby nightstand.
leaning back towards you, namjoon braces himself with both hands on either side of your body as he inches closer to you, gently trapping you beneath him.
his hand gently brushes over your body before landing on your breast. his mouth follows the path established by his hands; landing on a nipple and taking it between his lips, drawing out a mixture of pleasure and restrained moans from deep within you. your hands entangle in his hair as your hips instinctively press up against him in search of friction, feeling a familiar heat begin to pool between your legs again.
namjoon presses his lips fervently against yours, enveloping you in a passionate kiss full of heat and the intoxicating taste of wine.
your mouths open and close, nibble and devour. the space between your lips and his is briefly empty as namjoon pulls away, only to widen as your gaze shifts downwards.
with hesitation slipping away like sand through fingers, you reach out to take him in your grasp, coating your fingers with the pre-cum already gathering at the tip before you start stroking ever so gently. his forehead comes to rest against yours as he allows a low moan to escape his lips, his hips subtly shifting in response to your touch.
foreheads touching and breath mingling, you suggest, "let me suck you off."
caught off guard by the proposal, he stammers out a refusal.
"n-no," namjoon protests, shaking his head, his breath hot on your skin. "i won't last."
"well, that's the point, isn't it?" determined to tease him further, you tighten your grip and intentionally slow down your strokes on his engorged cock. namjoon's breath catches in his throat as his large hand envelops yours to cease your movement.
and in a sudden burst of energy, he skillfully repositions you on the bed. your legs are bent, and your hips are lifted, while your face presses gently into the soft pillow. a delightful gasp escapes your lips as your cheek comes in contact with the plush cushion, and you're intensely aware of the warmth growing between your legs as it begins to trail down your thighs.
namjoon takes a moment to appreciate the sight before him, letting out a contented exhale at the view of your body perfectly positioned. an alluring flush washes over you; fully aware you must look every bit like a porn star, since you had carefully prepared for this moment knowing namjoon would be home early. but you didn't expect to find yourself so eagerly sprawled out on his bed before dinner.
his fingers gently explore the globes of your ass before finding their way to your slick folds below. with the pads of his fingers, he reaches under you to tease your clit with deliberate motions, drawing a moan from deep within you as it's muffled by the pillow.
"god, baby… how can you be this wet already?" he marvels, a surprised chuckle arising from him.
you whimper in response, the pillows clenched tightly within your grip. "please, namjoon," comes the desperate plea from between clenched teeth. "i've been waiting for this all day."
namjoon gently leans over you, planting your bare back with dozens of tiny kisses, traversing a path along your spine. as his lips trail upward towards your earlobe, his warm breath tickles your ear as he whispers, "turn your head to the left."
following his instruction, your eyes meet the reflection of both you and namjoon in a strategically placed mirror.
you take in the ravenous image of yourself: wide-eyed and framed by tousled hair resting on soft pillows, your back curved and breasts firmly pressed against the mattress beneath you.
"keep those beautiful eyes on the mirror."
with bated breath, you watch as he positions himself at your entrance, the head of his throbbing cock teasingly grazing your slick folds.
as he slowly pushes inside you, a sharp gasp escapes your lips, your senses overwhelmed by the exquisite sensation of him stretching you open, filling you inch by inch, causing you to instinctively clench around the delicious intrusion.
"think you can do that for me, baby?" he teases, his voice a velvet rasp, as he buries himself deeper.
you nod eagerly in response, unable—or perhaps unwilling— to look away as his fingers entwine themselves within yours.
"pretty baby," he coos, meeting your eyes in the mirror. "already so fucked she can’t speak."
your breath catches in your throat, and you almost struggle to keep your eyes open – it feels like blissful exhaustion is starting to set in.
you can feel his cock drag out, teasing you with a fleeting emptiness, before he slams back in with a force that leaves you gasping for breath.
stray strands of hair cling to your damp skin as droplets of sweat escape from under you. it's almost shameful how wanton you appear—your lips parting as droplets of saliva threaten to dribble out with each labored breath.
"please," you manage to whisper between breaths, "harder."
without hesitation, his grip on your hands tighten as he quickens his pace and intensity at once.
with every forceful motion back and forth, the headboard rocks vigorously against the wall; probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear at this point.
“o-oh my god,” you let out a shuddering gasp through another moan, beginning to move your hips back to meet namjoon's rhythm. "i'm going to… i'm going to cum again," you stammer breathlessly.
you can feel his control slipping, his movements growing more urgent, more desperate, mirroring the frenzy building within you. his hands clamp onto your hips, holding you tightly - so tight that you're certain there will be marks later.
"inside, namjoon. come inside!" you mewl through muffled sobs into the sheets.
namjoon's movements falter, eyes widening from above at your request. you can tell he's more than willing to give you what you want.
"f-fuck, baby. inside? are… you sure?"
"i need it! please," you beg through gasping breaths, tears now starting to gather at the corners of your eyes.
he curses through gritted teeth under his breath and moans in response, tightening his grip on your hips.
unable to restrain yourself any longer, a sob escapes your lips as the climax rushes through you like a crashing wave of rapture.
this time feels even more intense than before, moaning and gasping uncontrollably as your inner walls clench tightly around namjoon's pulsating cock, coating it with your warm, slick arousal.
it's not long before namjoon's thrusts become erratic; eventually his hips still as he releases himself inside of you, repeating your name like a mantra while feeling his cock pulse deep inside of you.
as his frenzied movements gradually slow and your knees slightly give out, namjoon collapses on top of your back - still buried deep inside you.
you can feel his breath on your skin as it comes in steady gasps trying to catch up with his racing heart. he shifts, letting his hands come to rest on both sides of your body as he supports his exhausted weight.
a satisfied sigh escapes your lips as you feel the warm trickle of his cum escape your core, moistening the sheets beneath you.
your gaze remains fixed on the mirror to your left, allowing you a clear view of your naked body cushioned by plush pillows and namjoon's long, fit frame sprawled protectively across your own.
his hair is adorably disheveled, slightly obscuring his eyes. as your eyes lock with his through the reflection in the mirror, a slow smile stretches across his face.
with a nonchalant flick of his fingers, he brushes his hair out of his eyes before offering you a flirtatious wink, causing giggles to bubble up from both of you. the otherwise quiet room is dimly lit and filled only with the sound of your shared breathing.
raising himself onto one elbow, he tenderly kisses the back of your head before murmuring, "hang on; i'll be back."
he carefully slides out of you, eliciting a slight wince from you at the sudden sensation of emptiness. adjusting your position on the bed, you lean onto your side and wait for him to return.
moments later, namjoon reappears with a damp towel draped over one arm, a water bottle in hand, and an open bag of his favorite snack tucked between his teeth.
naked and unabashed, he sets down the water on the nightstand and sits beside you on the bed.
wordlessly, he offers you the bag; with a smile, you accept it and pop a chip into your mouth.
intently, he watches your enjoyment with an affectionate half-dimpled smile, pressing a tender kiss to your knee while you settle comfortably.
namjoon adjusts his position and gently taps the side of your leg as a signal for you to open them. with the warm damp cloth in hand, his muscles flex as he carefully cleans you up; the warmth of the fabric elicits a sigh of contentment from you.
deciding to break the comfortable silence, you ask with slight hesitation, "so… how was your day today?"
deep down, you already knew the answer..
the truth is: you knew namjoon was having a hard time at work lately.
you meant to bring it up sooner, really. but you didn't know how to do it without coming across as intrusive or nosy.
after all, namjoon gets enough scrutiny in his life as a musician; the last thing you wanted to do was add to that by being a nagging girlfriend.
at first, you noticed he was coming home from work later than usual. this made you somewhat apprehensive at first – you didn't want to jump to any conclusions about what he might be doing instead of working – but he'd never given you any reason to doubt him. you trusted him.
you also noticed a lot of the times he appeared restless during the rare periods he was at home, often times incoherently mumbling in his sleep or tapping his foot nervously at the table as he stared blankly off into space.
one night, at around 3am, you instinctively reached out to namjoon's side of the bed only to find it empty.
sitting up in the dark, your heart raced frantically trying to come up with an idea as to where the hell he was at this hour.
quietly slipping out of the bedroom and into the hallway, you were moments away from imagining the worst when your eyes caught a faint glow emanating from under the door of his home studio.
pressing your ear to the door, you could just make out the gentle hum of music coming from within. he was still working.
despite all of this, you chose to keep your concerns to yourself for a while longer. but after nine days of hardly seeing him, you knew that eventually, the conversation had to happen.
"it was good," namjoon answers softly, not meeting your eyes as he finishes wiping you off.
he stands up, disposing of the used cloth in a nearby laundry hamper.
"okay," you say gently, "now give me the real answer."
you watch him closely from your comfortable position in bed as he opens a nearby closet door with a quiet sigh.
he reaches up to take out a stack of fresh, neatly folded sheets and carefully closes the door behind him.
as namjoon walks back to the bed, his eyes finally meet yours, and he stands at the foot of the bed with the sheets still cradled in his arms.
"i don't know what you mean," he says defensively.
you roll your eyes, feigning annoyance as you huff, "okay. well, i'm not moving until you tell me."
namjoon's brow furrows in concern for a moment before he tries to change the subject. "do you need help going to the bathr—" he begins, but you cut him off with a quick "nope" and a slow shake of your head, crossing your arms firmly over your chest.
he exhales, glancing up at the ceiling before setting the clean sheets down at the foot of the bed. sitting next to you, he gently places a comforting hand on your leg.
you give him a moment as he traces soft circles on your skin, his eyes searching for the right words to say.
"i'm sorry," he finally begins. your body stiffens, caught off guard by his response. you really weren't expecting an apology.
"i haven't been a very good boyfriend lately," he admits, his smile strained and sadness evident in his eyes.
"and none of that is your fault. i'm sorry," he repeats, his gaze lowering in shame.
blinking back a sudden wave of tears, you sit up slightly and cover his large hand with yours, weaving your fingers together.
"namjoon, what on earth are you talking about?"
he looks up at you, mouth open to respond before you interrupt, "you're such a good boyfriend. the best, actually. i've just been worried about you lately. i can tell you've been pushing yourself.”
namjoon looks down at your hands and then back up into your eyes. you can almost see the gears turning in his head.
"i want to be here for you when things get tough. we should be able to talk about anything together."
a silent beat passes before he nods in agreement, squeezing your hand gently.
he then lifts your entwined fingers up to his lips and plants a tender kiss to your knuckle. "yeah," he breathes out, "it's been really hard. and you're…"
he exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair as he searches for the right words once more.
"you're so normal. you make me feel normal, even when my life is anything but. it's so complicated already; i just don't want to burden you with that."
his voice wavers slightly as he swallows, avoiding eye contact.
"joon," you say softly, trying to make him look at you again. "you could never be a burden to me. that's something you should never worry about."
as his eyes finally meet yours, they glisten with an array of emotions—appreciation, love, and relief all present.
he gazes at you adoringly and nods in response, uttering a soft "okay."
unable to resist the urge any longer, you lean forward and cup his face tenderly with your hands, planting a sweet, delicate peck right on his lips. the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips is soothing, even though your heart races within your chest.
you start to pull away but feel namjoon's strong hands dart up to grab your face as he draws you back into a deeper, more passionate kiss, both of you giggling against each other's mouths.
your hands slide up to namjoon's neck and weave themselves into his thick hair, nails softly grazing his scalp with just the right amount of force to elicit a delightful sigh.
sensing an invitation, his tongue tentatively ventures out to glide alongside yours, mingling the warmth between you.
namjoon momentarily adjusts his teeth on your bottom lip, gently sinking down on your bottom lip before releasing it with a subtle pop and eliciting an involuntary moan from deep within your throat.
you sense him shifting his position on the bed, eventually hovering over you as if preparing to dominate you but breaking the kiss instead.
without warning, namjoon wraps one arm around your lower back while grabbing your thighs with his other hand. in a swift upward motion, he lifts and hoists your naked body on his waist, coaxing you to wrap your legs around him for support.
you gasp, instinctively holding on tighter, feeling the thrill mingle with fear as you wrap your arms tightly around his torso.
"namjoon!" you exclaim mid-laughter, feeling both exhilarated and slightly turned on at being tossed around so effortlessly.
his strong hands now shift from the back of your thighs to support you by cupping the curves of your ass.
with bold strides and a gleeful grin, he carries you like this toward the bathroom, depositing you gently onto the cool surface of the countertop.
standing between your parted thighs, he leans in close again— this time offering you a burning, fervent kiss that is so hot and heavy, quickly rendering you dizzy as butterflies wildly flutter within your stomach.
eventually namjoon pulls back to examine your face, bringing his thumb up to gently caress your swollen bottom lip as a cheeky grin threatens to break through his solemn demeanor.
his eyes twinkle mischievously, reflecting the lustful haze that clouds your vision.
"shower?"
898 notes · View notes
solarwonux · 8 months
Text
Business Proposal Masterlist
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Synopsis: Namjoon is living on borrowed time, and it’s time to cash in. His father is months from taking his last breathe and his life long dream is to watch his oldest son say “I do” pairing: namjoon x f!reader || ex friends to lovers!au friends to lovers!au
Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fwb!au, non idol!au, unrequited love
Warnings: slow burn, angst, namjoon is pretty much not the nicest dude lol (will add more as it progresses), kinda sugar daddy au but not really. It will make sense I promise.
Rating: mature, 18+
Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7
AO3
MASTERLIST
WATTPAD
Hello everyone, I don't know why I didn't make a master list for this story in the first place, but here you are. I hope everyone who comes across this story understands that I am not able to update as frequently as I used when I was in quarantine. For that reason I do have a taglist so that you guys can be notified of when I post. If you're interested in being added just lmk through this post or an ask.
I also may not reply to a lot of the comments because I kind off get overwhelmed easily just know that I do read them all, and that each one holds a special place in my heart.
One more thing: Since I live in Korea all my updates will be at 9 am kst, which I think is around 8pm est and 5pm pst.
Thank you.xx
updated whenever I can &lt;3
577 notes · View notes
blog-name-idk · 1 year
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The Package Thief (KNJ)
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Beautiful banner by @btsstan12
Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Fem Reader
Genre: Neighbors/Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Humor
Summary: You have a new neighbor who is incredibly attractive. Unfortunately, he seems to hate you for no discernable reason at all. Does he think that just because he's hot, he can get away with being an asshole?
Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Fem Reader
Genre: Neighbors/Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Humor
Word Count: 3,473
Warnings: Language, dimples, Namtiddies
~~~~~
The first time you saw your tall, handsome, dimple-cheeked neighbor, you were thrilled to have some eye candy in your apartment building. You had just moved in, and when he smiled at you in the lobby, you could have sworn you heard birds chirp and angels sing.
When you spotted him again while gathering up the packages for your floor, you perked up, hoping it would be your chance to get his name.
"Oh hey! Could you hold that for me?" you called as he stepped past the sliding doors. You juggled the boxes awkwardly in your hand as you hurried forward with a smile, only for the handsome stranger to glare at you as if you were doing something wrong. He then pressed a button that was clearly not to keep the door open, because it slid shut in your face.
"What the fuck?" you asked the air, staring at the metal frame incredulously. Who the hell did something like that? Did this asshole think he was too good to share the elevator with you?
Ugh, it figured. Of course someone that hot would never have learned to be a good person.
With a sigh, you jammed the "up" button with your elbow to wait for the next one. Your ire cooled as you waited, and you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he just had to take a shit really badly or something, and what you thought was a glare was actually his constipated face. He would probably apologize the next time you ran into each other.
~~~~~
Your neighbor did not apologize the next time you ran into each other.
If anything, he seemed to glare harder. And then the prick closed the door in your face, again. Unbelievable.
You weren't going to take this abuse laying down, so whenever you were in the position to do so, you returned the favor. It felt good to see the same irritation on his face each time the metal door slid shut, and you relished in your petty victories. He deserved a taste of his own medicine. Did he really think that just because he was hot, he could get away with being a dick?
On this particular day, you had worked late to clean up after a coworker's mistakes, and you were exhausted. All you wanted to do was take off your shoes and bra and listen to some music while you fought off the urge to angry cry.
Of course, because the universe hated you, you got to the lobby to see the smug, obnoxious smirk on your neighbor's face as he jammed the door close button. You clenched your teeth, feeling heat and frustration build behind your eyes, and gave him your most venomous glare as you flipped him off. You were not going to give this horrible piece of shit the satisfaction of seeing you upset.
Once he was gone, you pressed the elevator button, only to notice the sign indicating the other was broken. So you had to wait for piece-of-shit to get to whatever the fuck floor he lived on before it came back. It was a small thing, but enough to break through the cracks of your composure, and you felt hot tears begin to leak down your face.
You wiped your eyes angrily and took several deep breaths while you pulled yourself back together. Well, if you were going to have to wait, you might as well bring the packages up to your floor again. No point in leaving them down here for anyone to take.
As you waited for the elevator, you wondered how in the world anyone could be such a raging asshole.
~~~~~
"God, someone stole a package again yesterday," groaned Namjoon over a glass of scotch. It was Friday, the first night he had free in weeks, and it felt good to unwind after being frustrated by his bitchy neighbor for so long. Seriously, what was up with her? Did she think that just because she was hot she could get away with stealing peoples' mail?
"Again?" Jimin said in surprise, taking a sip of his own drink. "What about building management?"
"What do you mean?" Namjoon asked with a baffled furrow of his brow. Jimin lived in the same building, but on a different floor. Now that Namjoon thought about it, he'd also never heard his friend complain about a single package stolen.
"Do they just not bring up your stuff soon enough?" Jimin questioned, cocking his head. "The girl who brings the packages for my floor even organizes them by unit order."
What the hell was Jimin on about? That wasn't a thing. Oblivious to his friend's confusion, Jimin rambled on, and Namjoon pondered on this new mystery. The only person he'd ever seen picking up several packages was –
"She's really cute too, and she's always smiling."
Okay nevermind, it wasn't her. He doubted he'd seen an expression on her face other than irritation and spite. She was definitely attractive, but hot bitch wasn't really the type that turned him on.
"Oh, there she is, actually!" Jimin chirped in excitement, eyes sparkling as he waved at someone over Namjoon's shoulder. "Hey, [y/n]!"
The mystery girl in question greeted his friend with a vaguely familiar voice, and when Namjoon turned to see who it was, he felt his stomach drop.
You stared back, clearly just as shocked, and Namjoon did his best not to ogle. You weren't wearing anything outrageous, just tight-fitting jeans, a slinky top that hugged your curves, and heels that highlighted how your ass filled out said tight-fitting jeans. Even without the clothes, the smile on your face was enough to make his stomach do something funny, though it quickly faded when you recognized him.
"This is my friend Namjoon!" Jimin continued cheerfully, oblivious to the tense atmosphere suddenly hanging over the table. "He lives in our building! Namjoon, this is [y/n], she's the building person that brings up our packages."
You gave a forced smile, and Namjoon felt the beginning prickles of nausea and anxiety as he realized he might have made a tiny misjudgment.
"I just do it for our floor because it's on the way," you explained quietly, avoiding his gaze. The edges of your smile grew warmer when you looked at Jimin, transforming your face from glacial beauty to soft sincerity.
"Then I definitely owe you a drink," Jimin responded with a laugh, motioning for Namjoon to scoot over to give you room to sit. He obeyed woodenly, mind racing as guilt weighed down his heart.
"Don't worry about it," you assured him with a chuckle that made something in Namjoon's chest ache. "I'm about to walk home, anyway."
"Alone?"
You looked at Namjoon in surprise, and he realized he spoke aloud. He cleared his throat, feeling like a stupid lump as he looked down at his drink with warm cheeks. Despite the relative proximity of the apartment, he didn't like the idea of you alone this late at night.
"Yeah? It's not that far," you said suspiciously, as if waiting for a snide comment. It made his chest sink, though it wasn't as if you didn't have a good reason for your misgivings. He spoke up again, hoping maybe he could talk to you and have the chance to explain his earlier behavior.
"Why don't you have a drink with us, and we can all walk back together?"
To his surprise, you stiffened and the corners of your mouth tightened into a thin line.
"Why? So you can make me take another elevator?" you asked angrily, making Namjoon flush and Jimin look between the two of you in confusion. "No thanks, my week has been exhausting enough already. I'll see you around, Jimin."
With that, you stomped away in unfortunately righteous indignation, and Namjoon barely had time to admire the sway of your hips before Jimin piped up.
"What was that all about?" his friend asked with a frown, his usually twinkling eyes now boring into Namjoon's. He felt heat creep up his face as he sighed and began to tell Jimin the entire saga, from how he had assumed you were stealing packages and proceeded to close the elevator door in your face, to the current state of antagonism. By the time he was finished, his friend's mouth was hanging open, and he felt more embarrassment at just how childishly he had acted.
"Joonie, I'm just really surprised," said Jimin wonderingly as he rubbed his forehead. "It's not like you to be like that."
Namjoon winced, knowing he was right. He liked to think that he was the more mature, level-headed one of their friend group, above silly squabbles and petty revenge. Obviously he had overestimated himself.
"I hope you haven't done anything recently, I think she's been having a hard time at work," Jimin mused, and Namjoon felt the lead weight of guilt in his stomach grow heavier. At this rate it was going to fall out of his butt. "She was crying in the lobby yesterday."
Well fuck. He really was an asshole.
~~~~~
You had just arrived home and flopped facedown on your couch when your recharging was rudely interrupted by a knock at the door. With a groan, you forced yourself up and peered through your peephole. What the fuck?
You made sure your chain lock was fastened before you unlocked the latch and cracked the door open, peering at your visitor dubiously.
"What do you want?" you asked, eyeing a beaming Namjoon in suspicion. You had never seen him look so cheerful, and you had to remind yourself he was not a golden retriever, no matter how cute he looked with flour dusting his nose or how deep his dimples were.
"I made cookies," he said happily, and you realized he was holding a paper plate covered in crumpled tin foil. "To apologize for the way I've been acting towards you."
You felt your brows raise at his statement, and you cast your eyes behind him in mistrust. Where had this one-eighty come from? Was it just because his friend lived on your floor?
Namjoon's shoulders drooped slightly at your lack of response, and he began to shift in place awkwardly.
"Um, I just – so I know I've been a dick to you," he began, chewing his lip and looking adorably embarrassed. "This is gonna sound stupid but I thought you were stealing packages when I saw you holding all of them."
For a moment, all you could do was stare.
"You thought that I would steal a bunch of packages, in the building I live in, while other residents were around?" you asked incredulously, making Namjoon turn bright red and clear his throat.
"Well, when you put it that way…" he mumbled awkwardly. "I just… I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I hope we can start over."
He peered at you with such hopeful eyes that you felt your resolve crumble, and when you unhooked the chain from your door you could have sworn you saw a tail wagging.
"Okay," you replied, unable to keep yourself from smiling at the way he had perked up. Those dimples were serious weapons against your ability to hold a grudge. You held out your hand. "I'm [y/n], and I do not steal packages."
Namjoon laughed, a low, rich sound that you felt vibrate in your stomach, and took your hand in a firm, warm grip.
"I'm Namjoon, and I'm an idiot who jumps to crazy conclusions," he said with a grin that deepened the stupidly cute divots in his cheeks. Then he had to let go to save the wobbling plate of cookies from an untimely demise before holding it toward you with a look of chagrin.
You accepted his offering with a laugh, feeling like a warm bubble was floating in your chest. Then you bade your hot, not-asshole neighbor goodbye and set the plate on your kitchen table. You peeked under the foil, and decided maybe one cookie before dinner was acceptable. Or maybe two, if –
You took a bite of the soft, delicious looking pastry and immediately spat it out in disgust. What the fuck.
~~~~~
Namjoon Hyung! It worked!
Jin Wait, you actually made the cookies?
Namjoon Yes! They came out perfectly No fires and only a few cracked eggs on my floor!
Jin I'm impressed How'd they taste?
Namjoon Oh fuck
~~~~~
For the second time tonight, your evening was interrupted by unwelcome pounding at your door. You didn't even bother to check who it was this time.
"What do you have this time?" you snarled through the door, wondering if it was worth it to open it so you could strangle Namjoon's handsome neck. "Oreos with toothpaste filling?"
The knocking ceased, and a small, timid voice spoke up on the other side of the wood.
"Oh… you had one…"
"Unfortunately," you said shortly, crossing your arms in an attempt to keep his woebegone tone from softening your ire.
"I was hoping you hadn't yet," he wheezed through the door. "I forgot to taste them before I gave them to you."
He sounded sincere, and suddenly you realized he was speaking through pants, as if he was out of breath.
"Did you run all the way up here to warn me?" you asked in surprise, mollified enough to unlock your door and open it to reveal a rumpled looking Namjoon, bent over with his hands on his knees.
"Yeah – I didn't want to wait for the elevator," he replied, red-cheeked from exertion. "I'm sorry, I'm actually a disaster cook but I really thought I did a good job this time."
You felt your lips twitch into a smile at the imagine of tall, handsome Namjoon tasting a cookie and then immediately bolting up however many flights of stairs to stop you from eating them. What a clumsy idiot. A clumsy, adorable idiot.
"Do you want some water?" you asked, stepping aside to invite him in.
"That would be amazing," he gasped, giving you a grateful look as he walked inside. As he passed you, you noticed a few beads of sweat rolling down his temple. He really was even more attractive up close.
You directed him to sit on your couch as you grabbed a glass of water, and he picked up the book you had left on your coffee table.
"Oh, you read Murakami?" he asked as he looked at the cover. "I haven't read this one yet, is it any good?"
"It's my first, actually," you replied as you set the glass in front of him, sitting on the couch a respectable distance away. "I think he presents ideas of loneliness and intimacy in interesting ways. Does he always write the women as accessories to the male protagonists, though?"
"Haha… unfortunately, yes," Namjoon agreed, his dangerous dimples making another appearance as he smiled apologetically at you. "Do you read a lot?"
"I try, but not as much as I used to," you said with a sigh, letting your head fall back to rest on the back of your couch. "After work sometimes I'm too mentally exhausted to do anything but exist."
"But you still bring your floor's packages up?" Namjoon said in surprise, turning his wide chest towards you and giving you his full attention. You tried not to stare at the way his pecs strained against his plain white shirt, but between his body and his face there was nowhere safe for your gaze to land.
"It's not like it's that much extra effort," you said with a shrug. "Why wouldn't I when it's easy?"
"It wouldn't even cross most peoples' minds to do it," Namjoon replied, eyes locked on yours and making your cheeks feel warm. "You're a nice person, [y/n]."
"I-it's really not a big deal," you said feebly, your chest fluttering at the sincerity in his voice. You cast about your mind for a change in subject, because the way he was smiling at you was dangerous for your heart. "How did you fuck up those cookies so spectacularly, anyway?"
Your question worked to take that piercing gaze off of you, and Namjoon turned a pretty shade of pink as he looked down at his knees.
"I uh – I'm really not sure," he muttered in embarrassment, making you want to coo at how cute he was.
"Did you… follow a recipe?" you asked in consternation, watching his cheeks grow even redder.
"I… yeah, but…" he mumbled, eyes glancing around before settling on the glass of water. He grabbed it and took a large swig, and you did your best to ignore the way his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed.
"But?" you urged, amusement lacing your voice as this once-asshole stammered and squirmed uncomfortably on your sofa.
"Why wouldn't more vanilla extract make it taste better?" Namjoon whined, making you put your hand over your mouth to hide a snort.
"Oh my god, you didn't," you giggled, his chagrined pout doing as much to endear him to you as the previous half our combined. "It also tasted like you switched salt for sugar."
"Dammit," he groaned, flopping backwards so he was oddly contorted on the couch, feet still on the ground but his hips twisted so his back was laying on your cushions. His knees knocked against yours and he shot back up with an apologetic look, but all you could do was laugh harder.
"My friend who gave me the recipe was just impressed I didn't burn anything down," he sighed, though he seemed relieved that you looked more amused than irritated.
"You… you really don't cook, do you?" you chortled, scooting a little closer so you could nudge his shoulder with yours.
"I'm your stereotypical bachelor," he replied with a sigh, draping an arm behind you, across the back of the couch. You felt your heart flutter again at the smooth combination of the physical action with the way he confirmed he was single.
"So no pretty ladies – or men – to teach you?" you teased, leaning further into his body. He met your eyes with his warm gaze, making butterflies erupt in your stomach.
"Nope," he murmured, arm slipping off the sofa to rest lightly atop your shoulders, so precarious that it was clear he was half-expecting you to shrug him off.
"I guess that means I should invite you to stay for dinner," you said with a smile, enjoying the ego boost when his eyes brightened.
"No pretty men – or ladies – who would be upset by that?" he hedged, those dastardly dimples making their reappearance as he leaned closer, gaze flickering to your lips. His arm slipped lower to hug your waist, and you let him pull you closer.
"Only one who would be upset if you refused," you murmured with a smirk, tangling your fingers in his shirt as you tugged him toward you.
His lips were warm against yours, even softer than they looked, and you let out a pleased sigh as you melted into his firm chest. A low groan rumbled from his throat, sending warm tingles shooting from your chest through your limbs, and you sucked his plump lower lip between your teeth.
"I really just thought you were a hot asshole," you said with a laugh, pulling away despite the heat beginning to settle in your core.
"I mean, I was definitely an asshole," he mumbled, cheeks pink as his gaze stayed glued to your lips. Then his eyes widened. "Uh, h-hot?"
You snorted at his surprise, giving him a very obvious once over. Namjoon's face flamed even redder, which was absolutely adorable.
"Have you seen yourself?" you teased, letting your hands rest on his shoulders.
"Nah, too busy looking at you," he replied quietly, and it was your turn to be flustered. How had he turned the tables like that so quickly?
"Ha ha," you said awkwardly, cursing yourself for your inability to formulate a coherent response. He was supposed to be the idiot, not you. At your response, those dimples made their reappearance, and you stood up to prevent yourself from melting into a gooey puddle.
"Anyway, I'm gonna start dinner."
You said it in a rush, in the hopes that Namjoon didn't realize how giddy he was making you.
"Oh! Let me help!"
He began to get up from the couch, and you promptly shoved him back down.
"For the love of god, please don't," you teased with a laugh, pressing a kiss on his nose to ease the sting of your words. "Just sit there and look pretty. Moral support."
Namjoon smiled back at you, eyes warm and affectionate, and you wondered if you would even be able to focus properly while this mancake was lounging on your couch.
"As you wish."
~~~~~
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hollyhomburg · 28 days
Text
Before I Leave You (pt.68)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: Your time is running out. minute by minute, breath by breath, kiss by kiss.
Tags: Angst, Hurt (no comfort yet), illusions to past mental health issues and past domestic abuse, mentions of low-self-esteem, internalized shame and self-shaming behaviors, themes of abandonment, speeding, guns, violence,
W/c: 13.4k
A/N: ahhhhh so here we are! i've been dreaming of this chapter since the very beginning of the series! this is like...the ultimate chapter...thank you for giving me a little bit of extra time to sit with it! we've still got a bit to go! there is a little section near the end where the chapter will prompt you to click on a link to play kate bush 😂 if you feel like you'll be distracted by music in the background you don't need to push it- thats just the song that i always heard playing in my head whenever i heard that part playing.
Previous part - Masterlist - First part
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Hobi is sitting on the edge of the nest sipping at his ice water when you come back into the nest room. Someone has drawn all of the heavy curtains over the windows and they pool on the floor at the rim of the room. The plastic pulled up too. The evidence folded and put away for later burning. Like a bad memory or a piece of clothing that doesn't fit right. Shoved in the back of the closet.
The rage and fear and panic are harder to put away. The conviction is not so easy to hide. You can’t put it down the same way that people file their taxes or their children's old scribbles.
You- like a child, have not been able to color between the lines. You- like a child, are messy.
You can’t stop yourself from walking over to him. Drawn to him where he sits nursing his injuries like a moth to a flame. You feel every heartbeat spent in his presence; every breath shared sticky like smoke in your lungs. Every second is savored and every second burns.
You want to ask him if he’s alright, but questions like that seem very pointless now.
Hobi’s not alright- but he will be. He will be okay forever if you do what you have to do. Now that you’ve decided it’s all you can think about. You rarely ever get to know that your last day with someone will be your last day, and now because you know- you look at him a little harder. A little longer.
You wonder what he’ll look like in 10 years and in 20. If he’ll get crow’s feet from smiling so much. If the salt water he loves so much will eventually grow into his features and make him look like something ancient.
You wonder if one day he'll get so many freckles that the tops of his shoulders will be permanently a shade deeper than the rest of his skin- Or if Seokjin’s sunscreen will spare him from the simple pleasure of looking like your favorite thing. Hoseok has always been one part sunshine one part everything else.
He looks pale right now. It hasn't been summer in months and you won't get to see him get all freckly and sun-kissed again.
Growing old is a privilege (you don’t want to grow old) and you’re reminded of that every time you look at his throat and see the bruises there (you wish you and Hobi could stay as you are- like this, in this house- both alive and healing- forever) but you can’t.
You can’t.
You touch his shoulder softly and his head jerks up, body going tense and then slack when he sees it's just you.
It’s quiet up here. The others are just downstairs and they’re making a lot of noise. Hoseok turns, setting his glass of water down on the floor, leaning into your hand in the same movement. It would be cute if he didn’t have black bruises crisscrossing his throat and blood in the whites of his eyes. In truth, every blink only convinces you that this is what you have to do. This is what you need to do.
You know that at any moment the pack is going to come looking for you. That they’ll all come and fill the room with their soothing noises and sweet concern. You're not too worried about finding the right time to slip away. Moonbyul’s given you 24 hours after all.
We didn’t get enough time, did we? I’d have liked more.
Hobi tries to speak and you shush him, he makes a frustrated hum of a noise. You sit down next to him when he tugs you, hand vicelike on your wrist. Your heart is beating really fast. You wonder if he can hear it or at least smell your distress. The whole house is a tangle of distressed scents; your rain, Yoongi’s ocean, Hoseok’s burnt caramel. burning burning burning. It disguises your scent. Hoseok can’t smell how you’re panicking.
You smile at him, and Hobi tries to speak again. unsuccessfully.
“Here your phone-” but Hoseok doesn’t reach for it, he doesn’t reach for anything but you. Pulling you closer to him. His thumb pressed to the pulse point of your wrist, where your skin becomes thin and sensitive. Pulling you until your thigh lines up against his.
The nest up here is the only place in the house that smells somewhat normal, still soaked with your sleepy muted scents from a few days ago (How long will it be until your scent fades from the house?) You take a deep shaky breath, trying to savor it. Hoseok bites his lower lip.
Hoseok starts on your thigh. His hand squeezes it once and then he starts to write. It’s slow going. He can only write one letter at a time but-
“D-O-N-T”
His eyes are positively boring into yours as your breath hitches and you start. “Hobi I-” he repeats it again, writing it out faster. You grab his hand squeezing it. But he pulls it out of your grasp.
“N-O”
You huff, frustrated and close to tears but stealing yourself not to show him your true feelings. How hard this is. You duck in low, kissing over one of the bruises on his neck. He jerks back, furrowing his eyebrows at you. And part of you is just begging him to let it go. You’re half sitting in his lap now all so that he can write out his distress on both your thighs.
“Alright- just stop.” You can hear the rest of the pack on the stairs. It’s getting late, they’ve done all of the cleaning they can manage for today. You can hear Yoongi on the stairway talking to Jin:
“Maybe we should just burn the railing, there’s definitely a bullet or two in it still.”
Jin’s reply is near hissed, utterly scandalized in the way that only Jin can sound. “It is mahogany Yoongi.”
Hobi writes on your thigh, a single tear trailing down his nose. He’s usually a little bit better at keeping himself together but the stress of the day wore him through. Polished all of his usually stubborn edges like the ocean polishes sea glass. He’s too tired to properly argue. Letter by letter as he goes.
“P-R-O-M-I-S-E M-E,” he writes across your thigh.
You have maybe a second before they’re upon you. You have to be convincing. Have to, or else Hobi might tell. You don’t think he’ll get in your way. You don’t want to think about what you’ll have to do if he does.
You dart forward, pressing your lips to his in a way that you don’t really feel, in a way that has him pushing you a little off of him. Trying to reassure him in the only way you know how.
You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from crying and he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear. His fingertips skimming soft across your jaw and your lips. Pressing at the corner of your sad smile like he can peel the fake expression away from your face and have you tell the truth for once.
“I promise, okay? I promise.”
Hoseok is not convinced. He doesn’t believe you all the way. But the pack is up here before he has a chance to write out anything more. Yoongi appears in the doorway, smelling of soap and bleach, a bit of it turning the corner of his shirt yellow where it should be black. His eyes cautious but so loving it takes your breath away a little. He treads softly over to the two of you; like he's worried about spooking you.
The moment between you and Hobi passes when Yoongi's hand curls over the back of your neck and you tilt your face up at him. And he interprets the glassiness there as something else. something more sensitive and more like omegaspace than what it is. you falling through space and time, you dying and drowning infront of him.
He probably thinks Hoseok was just comforting you.
Yoongi’s hand settles softly on the ball of Hoseok’s shoulder too. an equally as tender touch. Long fingers splaying against his collar bones, cradling a bruise there forming. Asking softly, eyes all dark with the anguish and apology of it-
“Do you think either of you can stomach dinner?”
As always, you say you can hot because you want to, but because you know it will make him happy to see you eat. You might not get many more opportunities to make Yoongi happy- you should take this one and savor it.
Yoongi loses that vaguely wounded look in his eyes with every bite you lift to your mouth. His scent sublimating into something sweeter as the night darkens and quiets.
You can tell Hoseok is not convinced of your promises when he stays glued to your side through the whole of dinner. Almost stubborn with how he resists Yoongi’s prodding and Namjoon's. Changing out the cool dressings on his throat and shaking his head at Namjoon’s suggestion that he sleep propped up against the back wall of the nest, where it’s safest. Eyes tracking your movements as you get up and brush your teeth.
His focus remains solely on you, even when Jungkook carries Tae out of the bathroom and places her among the softest things in the nest. When Noodle squirms his way out from under the bed and tries to worm himself in between his legs. Nudging under his elbow with his pink nose.
He wraps himself around you as you get ready for bed. An arm slung protectively around your waist to pull you flush against his front where you couldn’t squirm away without him feeling it and waking up.
It feels like buying time even though you're too distracted to properly enjoy it- the way they try to cheer you up. Everything that they do to try and make things better feels far away like a photograph- a memory just out of reach- the colors a little off.
Jungkook needily wraps himself around Tae and croons soft reassurance into her ear about how pretty her hair looks, how soft her pajamas make her. And would she like some of her skincare routine? Jungkook will do it for her, will pat it across her cheeks, and won't drag it under her eyes to preserve the state of her wrinkles.
Tae answers all his requests with a simple shake of her head. Eyes still frighteningly blank, that 1000-yard stare that you've all seen on your faces at one point or another, that you see in the reflective surface of Namjoon's phone in the nest, discarded and not charged.
Tae's scent is something awful- none of her usual roses and all cinnamon. Does Tae smell more like her old self because that version of her was always afraid? Or was being a boy the first thing she hated and that's why she smells like boy tae now?
You hate it. You can tell the others hate it too. Yoongi drags her close to scent her silly. cheek and neck going all pink from how hard he scents her, and then scents you, and then goes back again.
Jungkook can do little more than cuddle Tae with Jimin, his big hands smooth down her thighs, while Jimin brushes her hair gently- careful not to let the bristles brush her scalp. He's learned how to take care of her over the last few months and he's the gentlest when it comes to detangling. Not like you- who's so used to ripping through your hair without thought.
Up and down their hands go as Jin fluffs the nest around you all. Making the edges of it higher, and more protective of the fragile pups at the center (like fluffy duvets could ever block bullets. In his dreams- Jin’s love is enough to keep you all safe).
Yoongi and Namjoon are only too happy to oblige him with the nest-making and the general fussing. But in between Jin’s request for a hairdryer and another cold cloth for your hands. You catch them watching the door like they half expect some new threat to appear.
Certain things are harder to ignore; like Yoongi sitting on the edge of the nest with a gun balanced across his thigh. Or the heavy thud of a fresh box of bullets, rattling in their acrylic case when Jimin sets them down on the floor. The red shotgun casings lined up in pretty lines- just like Tae’s lipsticks downstairs.
You ask for one of Hobi's sweatshirts and Yoongi puts the gun away to go and give it to you. Hoseok fingers the edge of your shirt stroking over the meat of your hip idly. But every inch of him is taught like he’s going to have to grab you and hold you down. You lace your hand with his and turn to give him a look.
Yoongi’s back with a sweatshirt but it’s Jin who demands to dress you- to guide your fragile and freshly wrapped hands through the holes. Jin pulls it down around your hips with a soft huff before he gets distracted looking at the bruises on your back and side. From getting thrown back into the wall and from an errant elbow. Every time you twist even a little bit- they ache.
A tub of soothing cream that the pack usually uses for the more wanted kind of bruises sits open on the edge of the nest.
The pack moves about in pairs, here and there. Going down to the ground floor in sets of two. Unwilling to let anyone out of sight. There are guns everywhere, Jimin must have let loose his hidden stash of them. A shotgun leans up against the bathroom door. A handgun with an extended stock is always close at hand. There's a larger plan lingering here. You hear it in Jin's soft reassurances. Said hushed over your heads.
"Witness protection isn't as bad as you think it is Yoongi-"
"It won't work- don't you think we know how it works? That won't be safe enough."
"We have at least a few hours, we don't need to make any decisions now."
Jungkook’s scared voice, “Are we really going to have the leave? The house and everything?” A pause. A look is shared between Jin, Namjoon, and Yoongi. Jimin's eyes remain focused on Tae.
“Maybe bunny, we have to wait and see.”
“Do we have a carrying case for Noodle?”
“I think it’s in…” Yoongi trails off, but Namjoon answers for him.
“Yeah, it’s in the basement.”
They set about keeping watch for the night. those of you that aren't nursing wounds that is- mainly Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon- Guns remain at the ready and loaded. Jimin will go first, Yoongi second, and Namjoon last.
Jin tries but Namjoon nudges at his chest and growls in a way that has all of your ears perking up. The pack alpha’s commands can’t easily be ignored. Jungkook tries too to convince them too but even Hoseok shakes his head at him. No one is under any illusions of how fragile this peace is.
No one asks Namjoon to leave the Christmas lights on- but he doesn’t shut them off all the way- leaving just one string lit as a bit of a nightlight. None of you are quite brave enough to risk the darkness.
Hoseok stays close by, his hand clutching your wrist more often than not. Even when the pack settles in for sleep. He wraps his arm around your waist and settles in behind you, caging you in.
(Hoseok’s arms are not the prettiest cage you’ve ever been in but they are the cage you’ve liked the most. You think you’ll miss his arms and his hands. They’re so pretty and long, you lean down and kiss one where it’s gripping the nest and he makes a small noise in surprise that quickly gets swallowed by the hungry quiet.)
The quiet is very hungry, every brush of fabric against skin, every slight movement of the pack sets you a bit on edge. You think it will be hard to sleep- wound up as you are.
You don’t think you're even tired until your head hits the pillow and you have to struggle to stay awake. You want to stay up and listen to the sound of your pack, their soft and measured breathing, the sound of kisses shared above your head, the feel and safety of being in the nest. You want to commit the rhythm of them to memory.
Hoseok’s soft rasping breath on the nape of your neck evens out the more that his swelling goes down. It goes from hissing to more of a squeak as the night settles. Tae shakes through her aforementioned panic attack with all of you piled around her. You get your hand on her ankle at least.
Yoongi and Jimin’s shushing is the only punctuating sound in the half-light. Because what can you say besides sweet nothings when you know she has a perfectly valid reason to fear falling asleep?
You savor every little twitch of their trauma-worn bodies as you flit in and out of an uneasy sleep. Every slight sigh and hand on you rousing you. Jungkook, brushing his fingers through your hair. Hobi, pressed along your back like a second skin shifting and trying to tilt his neck to a more comfortable angle.
You get too hot with Hobi wrapped around you like that, eventually tugging at his sweatshirt that you wear and almost purring when kind gentle hands help detangle you from it with a soothing little shush sound so that you hardly have to wake. Yoongi, around midnight.
Yoongi’s thin but strong fingers rub a soothing touch along your jaw. Soothing away a small sad noise you make that has him curling around your front. The sound of Namjoon's low voice as he says something to your mate and then takes his place at the helm of the nest to stand guard.
“It’s okay pup, I’m here- I’m not going to let anything happen to you- not now- not ever.”
It’s unfortunate, but Namjoon can’t let Tae sleep for more than half an hour before checking her pupillary responses, making sure that her brain isn’t swelling. Concussions are no joke and Namjoon does not take chances with his prettiest alpha. He sends her back off to dreamland with a comforting scent mark and a soothing grumble. After the 5th hour when the risks turn nominal, he decides to just let her sleep.
But Hoseok doesn’t sleep, he can’t really. The pain keeps him awake and what with the way that his neck is injured he can’t find a comfortable position. He shifts and settles the whole night. Keeping you close with that arm around your waist every time you squirm so much as an inch away.
He’s restless until Namjoon gets up to get one of Jimin’s painkillers.
He’s resistant even then, half asleep still fighting. Trying to move away and shaking his head at Namjoon. Namjoon mistakes his unwillingness for simple fussiness and not for fear. If Hobi falls asleep it will be substantially easier to slip away- you watch from below as Namjoon props hobi up and pinches his jaw to make him open his mouth, encouraging the alpha to show his tongue with a prod of those gentle hands. His eyes are barely open, exhausted as he is.
“I know it hurts to swallow Hobi but you’ve got too.” Regardless of his shaken head, Namjoon insistently nudges his mouth with it. Soothing his gag with a stroke of his thumb down Hoseok’s Addams apple. A kiss to his lips for being good.
“This will help the swelling go down, you’ll be okay by morning.”
It’s minutes before they take effect. Slowly- Hoseok’s arm melts away from your stomach. His grip on you slackens from the drugs and his breath evens out. You say a quiet goodbye to him in your head and turn around to face him and kiss his forehead.
At least the last time you touch, it’s soft like that. At least the last time you touch him- it’s gentle.
Yoongi, Jimin, and Namjoon trade-off. A gun shared between the two of them. Perched on the edge of the nest. Eyes on the vacant stairway Infront of them. Listening for every creek and whisper met with a held breath and hand tightening around the gun. Waiting for the violence that you can all feel coming.
You won’t let it hit them; you won’t let it into this house again. Not while you’re still breathing.
When you're sure that Hobi is asleep you roll onto your back and stare up at the Christmas lights twinkling in the dark. You remember watching Jungkook hang them for you. You remember. You'll always try to remember; you promise yourself right then and there that you'll never let the memory slip away. No matter what happens.
You look over at Kookie, face so peaceful in sleep, a pillow hugged to his chest belly down in the nest, cheek squished close to the top of Yoongi's head on your other side. His back rising and falling.
Jungkook has always been a pretty omega. You reach over to him to stroke down the stiff bridge of his nose, to commit his face to memory. When you turn back to Hobi, you do the same, touching across the heart shape of his mouth, the subtle roundness in his cheeks everything. You look around at all of them- your pack, sleeping softly- sleeping safely. Namjoon's wide back, his shoulders that could hold the world up. Unaware that you're watching him.
You’ll remember all of it, every car ride, every trip to the beach. Every joke and jab. You’ll store each of the memories like a found thing in your pocket. A piece of seashell or sea glass.
You’ll take Jungkook’s laughter and store it- a memory to use when you need to remember that it’s okay to be young for a minute more. When you need to look after yourself you’ll remember how Jin did it and follow his example. And when you need to rest and be soft you'll remember yoongi. You’ll remember Tae like a tube of lipstick and see her every day in the color pink. And Jimin-
Jimin has a hard time sleeping. Even when Namjoon takes the last shift. He sleeps with one hand on a gun, spaced protectively in front of Tae. His bad arm unfolded from his sling. Putting his body between her and the staircase. Namjoon’s heart pulses dully with the knowledge of that when he glances back, just to check and make sure that Tae and Hobi are still breathing. You hide your open eyes from him when he turns, going extra still and feigning sleep.
Namjoon tamps down on his instincts; the last thing he wants is for his scent to go sour and possibly rouse them. But in the quiet, Namjoon's mind has too much room to fan out and overanalyze. Panic is a particularly alluring drug, his mind festers in it. Rolling around in bad ideas the way that Noodle would roll around in a puddle of catnip.
If he got the pack together, put you all in cars, and drove you far far away from here would that be enough to keep you all safe from harm? Or would that only be temporary? Is temporary safety worse when you know what you have to come back to? Or should he just try to talk to these people, barter with them something. Would money be enough? How much wouldn't Namjoon give? 
You are dreadfully similar to him. Only his planning stays in its infancy stage. 
It isn’t all silent. Noises punctuate the night here and there. Namjoon is so on edge that he all but snaps his teeth at the shadows. An alpha on alert.
Namjoon’s ears perk up at every car that dares to drive by your narrow street, the neighbor two houses to the left who leaves for work in the city at 4:05 every morning, right on time. Noodle and the sound of his scrabbly little paws on the stairs, zooming up and down them until Namjoon gets up to scruff him too. 
Your freaking cat does not like Namjoon on a normal day, he's only ever loved you and Hobi and tolerated Tae and Jungkook- condemning all the rest to hisses and claws, but Noodle settles with Namjoon's hand on the back of his neck. "See, that wasn't too hard was it?"
Noodle gives one last half-hearted hiss as Namjoon places him gently in the nest where he stays put after curled up around Tae’s head like a fluffy little hat. Purring and licking at her forehead. All but taunting Namjoon with his yellow eyes. Flinty and knowing in the darkness. Bushy tail flailing every time the alpha glances back.
You think you’re being quiet when you push yourself up onto your hands and knees. Untangling Hobi’s arm from around your waist and pulling yourself to the edge of the bed. He's out cold from the painkillers. Barely even stirring. 
Noodle stirs however, darting from the nest with a small murr sound as if to say, "see- she's awake so why can't I be?" Tail raised high as he prances to the doorway. 
You look striking in the half darkness, a pair of Yoongi’s green flannel pajama pants rolled up several times to fit properly around your hips. A thin white tank top that's almost falling down one shoulder. Namjoon’s heart pulses dully with the need to hold, the need to protect. He makes a soft noise in his throat and your head jerks in his direction.
You swallow, and your lips look dry, eyes glassy and innocent in their tilt when your mussed hair fluffs over your shoulder. Messy from where Hobi was nuzzling it in his sleep. 
“I was just getting a glass of water.”
Namjoon wordlessly holds his hand out to help you get out of the nest without teetering or disturbing the others. Noodle dashes back down the stairs with a soft meow. Tae sighs and re-settles, smacking her lips and Jimin’s arm tightens. Your mate turns face up in the nest, chest rising and falling, mouth opening like he can taste your scent on the air. 
Namjoon doesn't doubt he can, honed in on you and focused as he always is.
Namjoon doesn’t let go of your hand when your feet find the smooth floor. Instead, he checks the wounds on your hands and verifies that they’re clotting. The margins slotted together properly for minimal scarring (he'd redone the glue-suture after your shower with only gentle scolding). He presses a kiss to the bandages after they're re-fastened. Letting his lips linger there for a second.
Namjoon has always had big hands, warm and steadying as they cradle yours. Small and chapped and scarred.
Instead of continuing on downstairs, you linger for a second by Namjoon’s side. Eating up every breath he breathes, his scent, and the comfort of having him nearby. Something you know you won’t have forever. (Somehow- you know that this will be the last time that Namjoon holds you. You can wait one minute more. You can give him one more minute). He sets the gun to the side and pulls you between his legs.
“Joonie?” You ask.
Your pack alpha wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzles forward, rubbing his spiky head across your midriff. Nose nudging the dimple of your belly button and the slight pudge there with a quiet happy growl.
Namjoon will never not be happy that he can see the evidence of the pack’s love on you. Will never not feel proud of you and how far you've come. He nuzzles, resisting the temptation to bite and nip with a breath let out through clenched teeth.
Namjoon feels your quiet laugh against his cheek. Your warm soft skin swelling with laughter. Namjoon’s face is blushing red when he pulls back to look at you in the darkness. Corralled in the safe circle of his arms, fingers digging into your hips and squeezing.
“What are you doing alpha?” 
“Just thinking- just-” Namjoon’s voice gets so much lower in the nighttime, it's a gravely growl. A sound that paints pictures of lightning and clouds hovering low like a blanket.
“When all of this is over, I want to go somewhere new.” Namjoon's hands tighten on your waist. fingers pressing to either side of your spine, thumbs sitting on the soft bones of your hips. “-With you. Just you. Just the two of us. Maybe.” Namjoon fights back a fresh blush at the confused cock of your head. “Maybe- like- a fancy Airbnb? Or something? Would that be fun? Would you like that?” 
You pause, humming. Indulging Namjoon in this as he holds you, fingers rubbing endlessly up and down the sensitive small of your back. Eyes wide and imploring like a child. 
You're only too happy to forget for a second and imagine. What would happen if you didn’t leave tonight? What would happen if you found some way out of this?
It’s easy to go further than just thinking about a simple weekend getaway. You Imagine far into the future; a day that you'll never see. A future with Namjoon and the pack. It hits you with such a profound heartache when you think it that you half expect to look down and see your white tank top speckled with blood. The ache so keen and visceral but- 
Namjoon would be a good father. 
He’d be kind and patient. He’d never snap. He’d never yell. For a moment that’s all you want to think about- not a stupid weekend but a lifetime. A family. A world where you’re never yelled at, where you don't have to be afraid, where nothing is hard, and even if it’s hard you do it together.
If you had pups, you know Namjoon would treat every skinned knee like it was surgery. Would never tell them to walk it off or say it wasn’t that bad. You know that he’d go through every tea party with gusto and stay up late to help them with their homework. That he’d struggle to say no but that you might never need to. It would be lovely- getting to give something small and innocent so much safety. It would be nice to have pups with Namjoon.
You can’t say you don’t want it, but you know in that moment that you won't get it. You'll never get to see Namjoon be a father- even if the pups aren't yours or are just his and Jin's. You’d love them all the same. What use is it to Imagine things that you’ll never get? What good are dreams like this but to tease you, just out of reach. 
Namjoon nuzzles into your stomach again. His nose drawing soft circles just under your belly button. 
You’d be a shit mother anyway. Too fragile. Too nervous. Too hurt. Too much of everything. You'd fuck them up just by being you. You'd fuck them up the same way you've fucked up this perfectly good pack. You've brought nothing but destruction upon them. The evidence of your wreckage is everywhere. The bullets in the ceiling, the blown apart door. Your hands and Hobi's throat. All of this is because of you. 
You snap back to the present, swallowing down the lump in your throat. You’re gnawing at your own leg to survive. All things that bite cannot resist it. What good does hope do at the end other than to hurt?
You can't resist asking Namjoon for more, curled around you like a protective barrier to keep out all the world's hurts (or to keep you in). 
“If we went? Where would we go? If we made it- What would it be like Joonie?”
Namjoon rests his chin on your belly button and looks up at you. Completely unaware of the longing tearing its way through you, of what you’re thinking about. Not just one trip or one year, but ten or twenty or thirty. 
“Maybe south, to see the cherry blossoms?”
“We couldn’t go, not without Tae- cuz of the pink, and Hobi- cuz of the flowers”
Namjoon nods, agreeing. “Yeah- she does really like anything that’s pink.” There is a Tae-shaped smile on his face, you can feel it stretching your lips too. But he shakes it off, head bowed before you. Eyes closed against the image. 
“Still, somewhere safe and quiet just for us, just for you and I to take a deep breath and-” Namjoon trails off, looking up at you. His eyes sparkle with the idea of it, all the little moments he’s picturing.
A private morning where he wakes up to just you. Where you hog his warm spot and his pillow in the chilly spring air. Your cold toes pressed to his shins with nothing to do but appreciate each other and take your loving slow and intentional. Your body and his body and all the space and laughter that you want in between. An idyllic picture of two young people quietly in love. Gently in it.
After almost losing all of it, he wants the chance to properly appreciate you one-on-one. The others too- but they’re asleep, and sleeping vessels cannot reply to Namjoon’s daydreams. You are the only one awake.
(In Namjoon's fantasy, he'll give each of his packmates a different trip. every one of them even if it's just the ones he's recently almost lost that have him thinking of these particular plans.
Hobi would want just a day trip. Namjoon knows the alpha doesn’t really like to be separated from the pack for all that long, a few hours sure. Maybe to some vintage stores that he’s been eyeing to the city or the botanical garden.
Seokjin he’d take somewhere grand and big and full of adventure, maybe to 6 Flags or something. Jin likes to be reminded that he’s allowed to be a kid again, that he doesn’t always have to look after everyone all the time. That he has Namjoon to lean on.
Tae, he’d take somewhere gilded just as she is, like teatime at the Ritz- or maybe abroad to the castle of Versailles. The hall of mirrors and a million pictures of Tae in pretty dresses, twirling. In Namjoon’s head- he watches her turn and flutter slowly like a top. Spinning and spinning).
But none of that is quite your style. You don't really crave outings or adrenaline or gilded things. Your wants are much more simple maybe- because you've always known how priceless quiet and peace is. Gentleness is all you've ever really wanted- not excitement or acclaim or ego.
“A little cabin somewhere in the mountains, a spot for just us. We wouldn’t even have to do anything, A staycation. A night or two.” As the world spins on, you are who Namjoon craves to be still with.
You swallow hard, lingering, still half leaning over him still. Letting him nose at your jaw and purr.
“That would be so nice Joonie."
You swallow, throat thick with something. You lean forward pressing a kiss- too brief, to his lips, Namjoon’s lips part and he breathes gently. You blink back the glassiness in your eye and hope that Namjoon dismisses it as the light from the moon streaming through one of the skylights. All white and black. Wrenching you through something that feels like film. You commit the feel of him and the sound of his voice to memory and then pull back.
“I really need to get a glass of water.”
Namjoon shifts to get up, to come with you, but you just laugh at him and push at his shoulder, he flops back onto the bed.
“I can go on my own Joonie.” He grumbles but stays put. Nosing at the goosebumps on your arms and leaning to retrieve Hobi’s sweatshirt from where you left it in the nest. It smells like sleeping pups and Jin. Milky and soft and safe. Namjoon’s body shivers happily when he sees you put it on.
You squirm out from between his legs. His palm stays wrapped around the tips of your fingers. They slide out of his a little, and then all the way.
“It’s not safe.” You heave a tired sigh, what he thinks is a tired sigh but is actually you trying your hardest not to cry. You lean over him to grab the gun from where it’s rested against the nesting barrier. Getting your phone while you’re at it and sliding it into the pocket of your sweatshirt.
“Is that better?” Namjoon grumbles but still lets you go. Sitting there on the edge of your nest and guarding the others. You look back at him from the top of the stairs and smile.
The house is quiet, with no creeks on the stairs and no winds blowing across the roof. No sound at all in the house beyond your quiet footsteps that Namjoon listens to as you go down the stairs.
Feeling every second of your distance like the sluggish beat of his heart, thump thump thump. Namjoon looks back to look at his pack. Their bodies curled and resting, so gentle in sleep. After a few minutes, there are footsteps on the stairs, small soft ones.
Thump.
“They’re so beautiful” Namjoon comments to you. Waiting for reply.
The silence gnashes its teeth, still hungry.
When Namjoon turns back, it’s not you standing at the top of the stairs- just Noodle with his tail raised high. His yellow eyes glow almost florescent in the darkness, meowing and hissing so loud it might wake the others.
“Noodle, quiet.” The cat just doesn’t quit, batting at Namjoon’s ankles, claws and all. “Noodle- hush.” He scoops up the fussy cat, but Namjoon’s only reward is some claws to his forearms and some more squirming.
Downstairs, he hears a sound that makes him pause. Instincts going from at peace to on edge.
Thump
The front door opens and closes softly with a soft click of the metal doorknob.
Thump
Namjoon goes to the top of the stairs, holding Noodle in his arms before the cat squirms and falls to the floor with a thud. “Pup?” he calls, hushed. You don’t respond. Only silence greets him, sated at last.
Thump, breath, thud.
Namjoon waits a moment, listening for a response that doesn't come before he goes down the stairs, Noodle nearly trips him on the way down, hissing and pacing back and forth in front of the door. The ground floor of the house is completely absent of you- absent of anyone friend or foe. The room is soaked in the blue darkness of morning that is not quite dawn. The white countertops are unassuming and the plates stay in their places.
Thud.
The couch still has its dark spot from where Jin cleaned it. The tangerines are safely in the bowl back on the counter shining like several small suns or planets. Everything is empty empty empty.
Thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud
Namjoon checks the shoe rack. Your sneakers are missing, the same ones that match Hobi's and usually sit side by side with his. The spot where they should be empty.
Thud
Your wallet is missing from the bowl just inside the door.
Thud
Namjoon looks out onto the street and finds it empty.
Thud thud thud
Namjoon does not panic, Namjoon does not head out onto the street and chase you down- maybe he should have. He should have done any number of things. The sun is just barely rising turning the sky into that honey blue-green color and Namjoon just stands there and stares.
Namjoon is frozen. What kind of alpha is he- why kind of alpha freezes instead of fights or flights?
Thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud
A few minutes pass and something must tip off the packmates upstairs- either the empty nest or the sound of Noodle yowling and quite literally trying to bite Yoongi's ear off.
The next thing Namjoon is aware of is Yoongi is on the stairs, looking pissed off, looking terrified. almost falling down them with the speed at which he descends.
He takes the stairs down two at a time, colliding with Namjoon at the bottom of them. He looks like a puffed-up cat, hair wild and eyes equally as glaring as Noodles when he shakes Namjoon, just a little. “Where is she? Namjoon? Where did she go? Where is my mate!?"
Is it Yoongi's scent- acrid and angry- that knocks him out of his stupor? Or is it the top of his ruffled head almost colliding with the bottom of Namjoon’s jaw when the beta shakes him again.
Namjoon stutters, panic making him inarticulate. So scared he repeats it twice. "I don't know- I don't know, I- she said she was just getting a glass of water. I swear-"
Yoongi's fists tangle in the front of Namjoon's shirt. He sounds sick with it. Voice twisting in pitch.
"You were supposed to keep an eye on her- you weren't supposed to let her out of your fucking sight.”
There are other people on the stairs, roused by the sound of raised voices. A lone light flicked on sends everyone into yellow chiaroscuro. Namjoon is still staring at the street, heart thundering quicker than your footsteps as you run. The streetlights wink out behind you as you go. Fleeing with the night and bowing under the weight of oncoming daylight. Running as fast as your body can carry you.
Could he catch up if he started running now?
It's Jungkook, his dark hair pushed up at the side where it rested against the nest, who asks, “What happened?What’s going on?”
Tae’s eyes dart between Yoongi and Namjoon, her pink silk dressing gown wrapped tight around her shoulders. “Where’s the pup?”
"Yeah Namjoon, where the fuck is my mate??" Yoongi grits his teeth, shaking Namjoon so hard it almost knocks him off his feet and sends him careening a little into the narrow dresser table that the pack keeps by the door for gloves and mittens and keys and wallets.
“I don’t know, I don’t-"
Jungkook and Tae have just spilled out from the stairs into the entryway when Yoongi’s hands hit his shoulders, pushing and then digging into Namjoon’s skin. He’s shaking so hard he can hardly speak.
“You were supposed to be watching her. You were supposed to make sure she was safe-”
“Yoongi- hey- Stop” Tae’s not shaking anymore when gets her hands on his shoulders pulling him away from namjoon where he simmers. Jin is still asleep upstairs. Hasn’t been roused by all the tense voices. Too tired from yesterday- from staying up to scrub blood with Yoongi.
Jungkook skitters to the door as Jimin and hobi descend the steps. nearly bouncing on his heels as he opens the front door letting in a gush of cold air. “What are we waiting for? lets go."
Yoongi's face crumples. “I don’t get it, where did she go- why would she have-”
Hoseok swallows but talks softly, the swelling’s gone down enough even though the bruises look a million times worst in the sunlight streaming through the window. It’s not even 6am yet. His soft hiss is gentle, but the pack pauses to hear it.
“A deal- I think she made a deal.”
It's the first words he’s been able to speak since the attack. Vocal cords straining with every word. Everyone quiets to listen to Hobi. Jimin’s got the shotgun in his hands. He leans it up against the doorway. The heavy thunk punctuates the shocked quiet- but hobi continues.
“When the man was here- she tried to barter our lives with hers." Everyone looks to Tae. And her eyes lower to the floor.
“She did say that but I didn’t think she was serious, I just thought-”
The conversation is a flurry, everyone talking over each other as conversation explodes. Yoongi's face twists from devastated to enraged. “Jesus fucking Christ- that stupid stupid-”
Jungkook clings to Jimin's t-shirt, “What are we going to do? Hyung- what should we-”
Jimin hasn't spoken a word yet, and softly draws Jungkook's hands away from his shirt. “Where would she even have even gone?"
“Did someone pick her up?” Hobi’s words seem to ring out, even though his voice is so fragile.
Namjoon shakes his head. “No- I was listening, I didn’t hear any car in the road- not for like the whole hour.”
“So, you were listening enough to hear the street but not to stop her from literally walking away from us, great. Good to know Namjoon.”
“Yoongi that is like- the opposite of helpful.”
“There's still the matter of where would she have gone. She didn't take a car-” Hoseok looks up in Tae’s direction. She sees the realization light across his face.
“Hobi?”
But Hoseok ignores her, lurching to the small cabinet by the front door; the pack’s drop-off points for their keys, their wallets and your fuzzy little purse from your first ever date with jimin and tae as well as a good slice of Tae’s collection of little red pocketbooks. They keep their things this way because Namjoon loses his keys at least once a month a nd having a communal spot always helps the general disorder of having 8 people live in one house.
Hoseok scrambles not for your wallet but for his.
He reaches for his wallet. Opening it and searching but-
The train ticket is gone.
Your train ticket- the one that you gave Hobi for safekeeping so many months ago is missing from where he usually keeps it in the last slot. Right next to that folded poem of Tae's and an old gift card. In its place is just a simple folded note, a new piece of paper that hasn’t been worn soft at the edges yet. Torn from the same pad of paper that Jin writes the grocery list on. Hoseok’s hands shake as they fish it out. 5 words that aren’t nearly enough.
I’m sorry, I love you.
You’d never told him that- that you loved him. Not after you’d had sex and he’d confessed. Not in the tangle of moments that followed with Jimin bloody and the pack breaking. You’d never spilled your heart to him that way. In the back of his head, he realizes that there just hadn’t been time.
This is the first time you’ve told Hoseok you love him and maybe the last. Hoseok’s heart beats quick. She loves me. Thump. She loves me. Thump. She loves-
Hoseok shoots off like a bullet out the open door, thundering across the porch slats. Too fast for the rest of the sleepy pack to properly anticipate and follow. Peering out after him, a little sluggish and a lot shocked. His socks skid and slip as he tries to arrest his momentum and almost falls as He doubles back for his shoes.
The rest of the pack stares down at him blankly as he tugs them on, sprawled there on the floor just outside the door. Hands shaking too much for bunny-eared loops. He doesn’t even bother to lace them before he’s lunging for his car keys in the bowl too. Nearly knocking over the table in his haste.
“The train station- she’s going to the train station.” He gasps.
The words you shared that night ring in his head, playing on repeat. Like a record that’s been scratched too many times. He’s replayed those moments too many times. He’s not sure if he remembers it correctly.
“Give me one chance, let me try to convince you to stay and if I can’t- then I’ll let you go, and I won’t tell Yoongi what train you took.”
The countless times you’d joked with him after that, the moment so light that Hoseok didn’t notice the weight behind them.
“You still got that train ticket?”
“Of course I do.”
Hoseok never thought that you’d use it. He thought that the ticket would have stayed frayed and pretty in his wallet until you framed it or something. Until you could look back on it and laugh and say things like “remember that night? Remember how it used to be before we loved each other?”
“No, I don’t, can you remind me?”
This is not that, this is not the future that Hoseok had imagined for the two of you. This abject terror. Suddenly Hoseok is unmoored, suddenly he is falling. Usually, you can see the end from a mile away. Is it worse if you lose the person you love because of circumstance or because they decide to leave on their own? Hoseok never thought you'd actually do it.
Hoseok thought your promise last night meant something. Later when he’s not so scared he’ll remember that he’s angry about that.
The rest of the pack explodes too. Jungkook doesn’t bother to put on his shoes- just heaves Hobi up by his shoulders and pushes him towards his car. Yoongi snatches both of their pairs from the floor and joins them. Cold feet on the small pea-gravel driveway. Jimin darts forward wrenching off his arm sling regardless of Namjoon’s protests.
“I’ll drive” Jimin doesn’t have to wrestle with Hoseok’s keys for long. Even with his hands numb Jimin is still the best driver. He won’t pull corners or care about hitting curbs. He reeves it with a roaring purr while the rest get in and looks at Tae in the rearview mirror. Standing on the porch looking breakable and not all there still. Her eyes on his have that same peculiar weight, the same weight that makes Jimin’s blood sing with purpose.
If there was ever someone that Tae needed, it was you. Not Jimin. He will haul you back from the edge of hell if he needs to, for her. because this is not the ending that you and tae deserve. Jimin will tear you from hell. Teeth and sin and all.
Jungkook has barely shut the door before Jimin peals out, reversing until the tires screech against the asphalt and leave dark lines in their wake. Tire tracks, strings of fate, shoelaces. He shoots off down the street and out of sight, knocking over a trash bin with a clang and leaving Tae and Namjoon back on the porch.
Hoseok knows the name of the station you were most likely to go to but not how to get to it. It's an 15 minute walk, maybe a 10 minute run and it's already been 8 since you left. Jimin points his car in the direction of the main road while he pulls it up on his cell phone.
With every sharp turn Yoongi and Jungkook slosh in the back seat and hit into each other. Some early morning commuter honks his horn at Jimin but he doesn’t even see them. The scenery flickering by and the asphalt melting away underneath the wheels of Hoseok’s red car. The small grey towns melt away, Break lights bleeding less than they should. The engine stutters and engages but no one cares about the uneven acceleration. Hoseok would total this car in a heartbeat if it meant getting you in time.
At the straightaway Jungkook stoops to slip his feet into his shoes, Yoongi holding his shoulder. The phone in between them slides on the leather seat, spitting out its electronic voice, overly cheerful.
"Re-routing!"
“Wait Minnie- go left.”
“Fuck!” Jimin makes the turn just barely, sparks skittering and burning out as he goes over one of those tiny reflective dividers. Hoseok curses every pothole for damaging their momentum and slowing them down.
“Are you sure? Are you sure that it’s this station that she'd go to?” Hoseok’s heart is thundering in his ears, beating furious and fast.
“Almost positive.” Yoongi holds onto the back of Hoseok’s chair to keep himself in place.
“We have to get to her before she gets to the city. Can’t you go any faster?” Jimin jerks the wheel around a flashy BMW. Almost hitting them with how close he gets. Jimin lets the speedometer answer Yoongi's question. Pushing 60 in a 35 and then 70.
Your note is crumpled tight in Hoseok's fist, a tiny bit of yellow paper that he unfolds and looks at before shoving deep within the confines of his jacket.
Yoongi is not looking at hoseok when he says his next sentence. Hoseok's not even thinking about his old pack, he's just thinking about the fact that you love him and he never got to hear you say it. Not when Yoongi pulls himself almost between his and Jimin’s seat and repeats the same to Jimin again, the same only different.
Thud.
“We have to get to her before Moonbyul does, if she gets to her- I don't know what I'll be able to do Minnie- even with the power that I have Moonbyul still has more-”
Hobi’s flinch is visceral, jerking like he's shocked.
He turns around to look at Yoongi as Jimin blows through a stop sign and then a red light. Jungkook winces and doesn’t say anything. Pushing Yoongi’s shoes across the seat. “Hyung- you should get ready to run.”
Hoseok and Yoongi look at each other. Hoseok's turned almost all the way around in his seat to stare at Yoongi- more specifically Yoongi’s mouth. He’s not sure if Jimin’s painkillers would make him hallucinate but that’s the only logical reason his brain can come up with after hearing that name- her name- come out of Yoongi’s mouth.
“What?"
Jimin's voice is deathly quiet. "Hoseok- turn the fuck around. If I get into an accident at this speed you will die if you're not facing forward to the airbag."
Hoseok turns back to face the road. Jimin grips the wheel so hard his knuckles are white. “Thank you.”
The sunlight is just cresting the tops of the trees. Dotting the scenery blue and yellow. Hoseok’s ears are ringing with her name.
Yoongi pulls himself closer to Hoseok, hands still gripping the headrest, the only thing that keeps him from bobbing and moving with the movement of the car. Eyes locked on Hoseok's face in the rearview mirror.
"I said something- I said something and you're having a thought."
"I fucking hope so-" Jungkook's quip goes unnoticed. Unnoticed through the volley of honking horns as the red car tares through the street. By some miracle, they haven’t passed a cop car yet.
Hoseok looks in the rearview mirror, at Yoongi’s face. Biting his lower lip. “It’s nothing just that name.”
Hoseok looks at Yoongi and all he can think about is how he'd never said- he'd never told Yoongi their names. Saying them or even thinking them reminds Hoseok too much of his own begging. What kind of alpha begs for an omega to hurt them- to stay?
Yoongi just about puts himself in the front seat of the car as Jimin breaks hard to navigate around a tractor-trailer. Riding on the shoulder, the rumble strips vibrating all of them hard and roaring just like Hoseok’s blood thundering through his ears.
“Moonbyul? Moon Byul-yi? You know it?”
Hoseok shivers, the reaction of his body route, unavoidable. Jarring. Trauma builds itself into your bones whether you like it or not. Triggers are not so much a part of you as they are a light switch that makes the worst parts of you turn on.
"Yeah- I do. It’s the name of my ex-pack omega.” Now it’s Jimin’s turn to be distracted, and he almost gets into an accident for his troubles. They’re silent for a second, Yoongi and Jimin look at each other.
“It could be the same name.”
Yoongi scrambles for his phone on the seat right as Jimin makes a turn and it goes flying. He finds it underneath Hoseok’s seat, hands slippery with sweat on it.
“Hang on, I think I have a picture of her somewhere.”
Yoongi scrolls all the way to the back in his phone. Switches to Instagram, going back and back and back through time, and then he's sticking it in Hoseok's face.
Seeing her face feels like Yoongi’s slapped him. Her face is on Yoongi's phone. Why is her face on Yoongi’s phone? Her hair is longer than it was when they dated, she must not have cut it since. But it's definitely her.
Hoseok feels like he's spinning, it's been so long since he's seen her face but it's definitely the one from his nightmares, the one he sees grinning and crooning false praises that have stuck to Hoseok's soul like glue. The face that he sees behind his eyes and sees in every criticizing comment only on his bad days. She's standing shoulder to shoulder with Yoongi, both of them in black suits along with a man that looks enough like Yoongi for him to guess that that's his brother, your ex-husband.
Your abuser and his and Yoongi in between them. Hoseok can only hear ringing in his ears, he knows he sounds accusatory when he snaps. "How the fuck do you know my ex-pack omega?"
“She’s my cousin. Are you sure that's her?”
Hoseok feels like he’s spinning. “Yeah, I'm sure.”
“I thought you said your old pack was all omega’s?” Yoongi knows Hoseok’s lore, knows it like he knows the back of his hand. He looks up, hair falling across his face. Hoseok frowns jabbing his finger at the phone.
“I did. She’s an omega.”
The dissonance hits him and Yoongi almost wants to disagree but then-
Hoseok watches the lightbulb go off, Yoongi’s eyes widening imperceptibly as he paws at the phone and Hoseok’s hand. The car sickness lurches in his stomach as he turns to look back at Yoongi, and the g force hits him as Jimin takes another turn Impossibly fast. The seatbelt across Hobi’s chest engages with a click, digging into his skin and the bruises on his neck with a painful jerk.
“Are you sure? Hoseok- you have to be sure.”
“I’m sure.”
This is all a game of leverage. A game of who knows what secret and what gets exchanged for whom. Yoongi spent most of last night wondering about Moonbyul's motivation, and now he knows why.
Hoseok is holding onto Yoongi’s phone, they’re hands gripping it together. “Is this who she’s going too? The one who tried to kill us? Is-” Hoseok has to swallow to get the words out right. “Is Moonbyul the one trying to take her?”
“Yes.”
Hoseok shivers, eyes darkening, scent spiraling wildly. His muscles trembling as he thinks about it. You and Moonbyul.
Yoongi pulls himself around Jimin’s headrest. Hand on his throat, digging into his scent gland. He doesn't have time to explain to them.
Only alphas can lead the family, only alphas can rule. If Moonbyul isn't one- that calls into question the legitimacy of her rule. The families would never stand to see an omega on the throne, she'd be ousted, probably killed for daring to lie. The families would tear her apart piece by piece and Yoongi would let them.
If Moonbyul is the person who hurt Hobi- and now she's going after you- that's two people that Yoongi loves that she's directly hurt. Yoongi is thinking all sorts of dangerous things. But they have to get to you first.
If Moonbyul isn't an alpha then Yoongi's just found his leverage and maybe the whole reason why the pack was targeted in the first place.
A packmate for a secret. Yoongi imagines the worst-case scenario; Don't tell and I won't hurt her. Don’t tell anyone and she lives.
How long had she stewed and festered- knowing that Hoseok was out there- knowing that he knew the secret that could lead to her undoing. Maybe she thought his knowing would never come back to bite her, and had intended on tying up the loose end later. Maybe she didn't know Hoseok had found his way into Yoongi's arms until after the old Don and Beta had died. She probably thought that they’d never put it together- at least not until it was too late.
Whatever her reasons, this has gone on long enough.
Yoongi opens his mouth, but Hoseok’s body is taught like a spring-loaded and ready to burst. His voice a near growl.
“Jimin, I need you to drive.”
~-~
Tae and Namjoon are left standing there on the porch. Namjoon left staring after them as they hurl away from the house. Running his hands through his hair hard. Thinking of what to do until-
Tae tugs on his sleeve, “Your phone- Joonie- you should call her.”
“Right- fuck-” Namjoon goes and gets it, and comes back to stand with Tae on the porch. “Come on- come on pick up.” Namjoon paces back and forth on the front porch, the snowmelt from the roof drips out an uneven rhythm onto the railing. the cold spray hitting his stress-warm skin.
Tae stands by the door. Frozen, a statue of Namjoon’s distress. Inside, Namjoon hears a voice. Jin coming down the stairs, probably roused by the sound of the car screeching out of the driveway and down the road.
“Tae? Where is everybody?”
“Pup’s being stupid. The others left to go get her before she’s like- really really stupid.”
Jin freezes in the doorway, fist rubbing his eye. He sounds smaller and younger than Namjoon’s ever heard him. “Am I having a bad dream?” namjoon's pacing stutters and then starts up again. Jin doesn't need him right now, Jin he can help later.
Tae takes Jin's hand and leads him to the outdoor furniture. The cushions have to be damp but they sit anyway. Tae pulls her knees under her and rests her cheek on Jin's shoulder. “That’s what I thought too at first.”
Namjoon almost sobs when he hears it- the click of the dial tone and a single breath. He can hear the thud of the train in the background, the hiss of pressure against the scratchy speaker.
“Pup? oh thank god, stay where you are- the others are-”
“Namjoon? Joonie stop- I didn’t pick up so that you could convince me to come back. I only picked up because I never said goodbye.”
Namjoon freezes, and he feels like the snowmelt from the roof has just dripped down his back. Growing frigid more with each word. If there was ever a question on if you’d gone willingly or been taken- it was answered with that.
“Pup, come home right now or I swear to god-”
“No! For once you’re going to listen!” You’ve only shouted at him a handful of times and he’s hardly ever heard you sound so serious.
"No- you can't-"
“Namjoon, The second you say anything to try and convince me to stay is the moment I hang up, so what is it gonna be?”
Namjoon goes silent and stops his pacing. Holding the phone so hard it feels like the plastic and metal might break.
Namjoon’s very being hinges on every syllable you say, Like the ocean hinges on the moon. Water tethered and kept from the shore by something as simple as gravity. Tae is right there. Tae is watching the driveway not saying anything with that same blank look Namjoon has seen on your face countless times.
All at once Namjoon is reminded of you in the summertime back when he first met you and trauma had you all quiet. Staring off into space in much the same way. Small and fragile and worth saving. You’ve always been that for him; worth saving.
Jin scrubs a hand across his face, clearing himself of the last little bits of sleep. He holds out his hand for the phone, but Namjoon doesn’t give it to him just paces right by him as he listens to you.
“I only picked up the phone because I have some things that I want to say to you.”
You sound more settled and less angry but just as resigned and convicted of what you're doing. Like no part of you doubts your choices. Namjoon wishes you sounded angry, that you sounded sad, but you don’t sound like any of those things.
“I'm not leaving because I think I don't deserve a life with you and the pack. I’m not leaving because I think that I’m not worth your love. I’m leaving because for the first time I know that I am.
“For the first time I understand why Yoongi left and why he didn’t come back until he knew it would be safe. Because when you love something the way that I love you, you’ll do anything to protect them. Can you really blame me Joonie? For doing what you might have done?”
You continue on like you’re not wrenching Namjoon’s heart clean from his chest. Like you’re not a hurricane on his very being- dark and thunderous tearing through him as impersonal as wind. Namjoon’s heart thuds and thuds and thuds.
“Before I leave you, I want you to know that if I loved you less- I might have stayed.”
Namjoon’s lungs ache, ache and sting and swell with words he can’t say, he can’t breathe. His mouth screwed into a soundless sob. He actually might be having a panic attack. He's never had one before- he's not sure if he knows what one feels like. If it's like this- if it's like this he can understand why people call them an attack.
It's frantic, like he's chewing off his own leg to get out of your words. The panic is so terrible. Namjoon hasn't been this scared since he was a child. At least Yoongi had the fucking decency not to make his leaving so visceral.
Namjoon is bent over, tears dripping down his nose, sagging almost to his knees. “Why are you doing this to us!? To me!”
Something jiggles the phone, something that makes your voice all warbly- Namjoon imagines you on the train in a window seat. Resting your cheek against the balmy glass while you talk to him. Staring out at the scenery racing by. Hurtling towards your future like a comet or maybe an asteroid (something more destructive- more appropriate for the wretchedness filling Namjoon’s lungs like tar, the desiccated bodies of the dreams he had for you and the plans he made with you in mind clogging his lungs and making it hard to breathe).
Who knows, maybe off between the trees and the road, you see a red car zooming, trying to keep pace with the train.
Namjoon’s heart feels like it’s skipping too many beats.
“Something Jin told me the other day got stuck in my head and I keep thinking about it, would you like to hear it?”
You take his silence for permission and Namjoon does not turn to look at Jin and Tae sitting on the outdoor furniture. They just sit there; they don't do anything. Namjoon wishes there was something they could do or something he could barter for your safe return but you already have all of him and all of him wasn't enough to make you stay.
“Jin showed me this little article the other day- a few weeks ago now. He can tell you it in more detail but basically, it was about these mice.”
Namjoon struggles to say something- unsure where you’re going with this but desperate to keep you on the line. At least until the others get to you. Drinking down your voice, the whisper of your breath, everything.
“They made like- two test groups, they wanted to measure like- willpower- or how long they would try to live before they gave up. It’s kinda dark I guess. I'm not a good judge of things like that you know.”
Your laugh is the prettiest and saddest thing that Namjoon’s ever heard. He wants to record it and save it for later like some hidden track and he never wants to hear it again.
“Anyways- they put the mice and a bucket of water and timed how long it took for them to stop swimming, to stop trying to live. They’d try for a little while but give up pretty quickly. Like- an hour. That’s how much will to live that they had: an hour’s worth of it.”
Namjoon breaks, shouting, “I don’t want to talk about mice I want to talk about getting you the fuck home!”
Namjoon can hear your smile in your voice, And no-no-no you won’t even let him fight- you won’t even let him snap at you and engage with it. Namjoon’s seen you sad, he’s seen you defeated. He’s seen you so hungry you could hardly hold your head up. But seeing you convicted of this punishment is worse than anything.
“Anyway- they just killed the first group for a baseline. But with the second group just before they died- just before they went underwater- They took them out of the water and dried them off.”
Your voice goes hushed at the end. The morning sunlight cuts across the top of the house yellow. The tree too- it’s early morning- Namjoon’s favorite time of day and he won’t be ever able to properly enjoy it again. Won’t ever be able to wake up at this time of day and not think about the morning you left.
“They let them rest and gave them some food.”
Namjoon feels like he’s about to have a heart attack, blood thumping and hitting against his ribcage. Bullying out the flowers and the butterflies in his stomach.
“Cuddled them a little.”
Namjoon stands at the doorway to the pack den. Hands so tight in their fists that they ache and ache. Namjoon’s hands have saved countless people’s lives before, and they’ve saved yours too- but right now they just hurt.
“And when they put them back in,”
Noodle meows dolefully from the door, swatting at Jin’s ankles and then purring around Tae’s. Namjoon’s knees are shaking.
“They lasted for a whole 12 hours longer. Because they thought they might be saved. Because they had some love to remember. They were able to last for a lot longer than they would have otherwise.”
His face is screwed something terrible with how hard he’s sobbing. How is it that just an hour ago you were safe in his arms, talking about getting away from here. Just an hour ago. It's still 5am a time zone away, if Namjoon got on a plane and flew there- would you still be safe? Is there any way to turn back time?
You only get to love people for as long as you get and not a second more. You get what you get and you don't get upset. Yoongi might have been your lifeblood, the air in your lungs and your reason for existing, but you’d still be that fragile creature close to drowning if it wasn’t for Namjoon.
“Namjoon?” You say his name once and then softer, a croon. “Joonie.”
He's sobbing too hard to see, “Don’t-”
“Thank you for drying me off.”
The phone clicks and disconnects.
Namjoon falls to the stairs, ass in a puddle but none of him cares. He remembers the first day he heard you speak, sitting on these stairs while he helped Yoongi fix the railing. Namjoon remembers the summer heat and feeling scared for you for the first time- because the railing felt so rickety and the last thing he wanted was for you or Jungkook or Hobi to fall. Namjoon is the one who is falling, hurtling towards destruction that stops and ends with his heart.
His hands hurt. He remembers laughing with the others and stealing sips of sweet tea. Nibbling on the sour lemons, sweaty and hot and dusty. His eyes feel like they’re going to fall out of his head with how hard he’s crying. He remembers that you’d poked his dimples and called them pretty, he remembers feeling tired after but fulfilled for it.
One scene in summer and the other in winter now. At the beginning of a relationship and now at the end. The stairs still creek, the wind still blows and Namjoon's hands are still sweaty.
Namjoon sobs loudly and it echos across the empty cul-de-sac gut-wrenching. People cry differently when they lose people they love. Namjoon has heard people cry like this after he’s told them bad news, no sign of brain activity. We did everything that we could. I'm so sorry. It sounds different now that it’s coming out of his own mouth.
He actually might pass out with how hard he’s breathing. Teeth dig into his lower lip so hard he tastes blood. He’s still holding the phone to his ear. “Pup- wait- I love you- you can’t do this to us- to me.” But you’ve already hung up on him.
The dial tone tears through him like a bullet. Namjoon should be bleeding, broken hearts don't hurt this much without blood. People don’t hurt this much without actual wounds.
Eventually, something touches his back, a soft furry creature that only makes Namjoon sob harder as Noodle bullies his way under Namjoon’s arm and licks at his fingertips. Before long there’s hands on him. Jin and Tae pull him up and onto the furniture. One hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder. Jin grabs his wrist. Circling it gently before he holds his hands and nudges them until they relax from their clenched fists.
Namjoon cries.
Together they watch the road and wait for the others to return.
~-~
(Hidden playlist ▶ Play track?)
“Shit!”
They miss the first train by just a few seconds. It screeches away from the platform when Jungkook gets out of the car. Standing there for a breath and watching it pull away. The metal thud screech of it drowns out Yoongi’s voice.
Jimin hits the wheel and growls before he revs the engine and turns, almost hitting a fire hydrant with how quick and jerky he backs up and accelerates. Leaning forward through the window to snap at Jungkook.
“Get back in the fucking car!”
Jungkook does, the door barely latching and almost swinging free as Jimin peels out of the parking lot. Slamming back shut when Jimin does a near 180 to accelerate back onto the main road.
“Sorry hyung,” Yoongi doesn’t need to reply- they all know that every second matters.
Jimin almost collides with a car stopped at the light before he drives on the shoulder, spinning around them. The train matches the road at this part of the tracks so it’s easy to follow it. They keep pace with it as Jimin pushes 70 miles an hour and then 80.
Jimin keeps the gas pedal well acquainted with the floor until they're going faster than the train. Weaving in and out of traffic back and forth, getting honked at and almost cut off several times. Leaving his packmates to grip to seats and their handles. Worried about getting thrown off but still- not wearing their seatbelts.
“We’re never going to make it! It’s too fast! We’re going to hit traffic soon!” The closer they get to the city the less likely it is that they'll be able to catch up to you. It's nearly early morning rush hour, another 30 minutes and these roads will be at a standstill.
“Hang on- let me see the map,” Hoseok watches Yoongi look at it.
“If we go to the next station, we won’t make it. But, if we try to go to the one after that and cut it off-” A look around the car says everyone agrees with Yoongi. Jimin steps on it, and there are a terrifying few minutes where Jimin’s driving skills honestly make them all count their prayers and promise things to gods that they’re already not fond of- but when they skitter and screech into the next station he hears it.
“The next inbound train will be arriving shortly, please collect your belongings. And remember-“
Hoseok is hot on the announcements heals. Sliding to get out of the car before it’s really stopped. “If we miss this one just go to the next station without us-”
“-if you see something say something.”
The train is coming- Hoseok can see the lights about a 100 feet down the tracks and it's moving fast. Yoongi almost makes to get out but Hoseok just shoves him back inside. Jungkook gets out of the car too, bolting in the direction of the stairs. “Hoseok-”
“Yoongi- Just go!”
There are maybe three flights of stairs up, then 50 feet across the tracks, and then the same amount of steps down. He and Jungkook book it up them. Making every second count. Hurtling through time and air. Ignoring the sore and tired pulse of their muscles. They’re clearing the top step and the train is below them. A silver bullet careening and destined to do damage but slowing down.
They bolt across the landing past the ticket kiosk and through the push doors. The train is stopping with a hiss of breaks and a screech of metal. A release of pressurized air that billows up to them warm carrying with it the smell of tar and city.
Hoseok’s lungs are burning. Jungkook is usually faster by just a little bit and would be on any ordinary day. They might be roughly the same height but Hoseok doesn't do cardio nearly as often as Jungkook does. Jungkook's the one who runs every day, who does cardio like it's sleeping and marathons like they're mid-afternoon naps. Who works out and hones his body to a lethal edge just because he can.
But he doesn’t run like Hoseok does.
Hoseok runs like his life depends on it- the same way you would run if he was walking into Geumjae’s arms. You’d never let Geumjae touch even a hair on Hoseok’s head and if- if Moonbyul is who you’re going to- then there is more at stake than just your phsyical safety, too much at stake for Hoseok to be held back by his body.
Hoseok thinks of the tiramisu. Of walking with you on the beach. Of making your nightime stacks just the way you like it. Of holding you that one time you almost fell into the water. Telling you that you had to be careful. Hoseok remembers driving out in his car, tugging your seatbelt to make sure it fit snug. Standing with you side by side in the flower refrigerators at work and the feeling the first time you’d rubbed your scent gland to his. Every playlist of his with your name on it, every song that you ever shared. All of that- she’s going to destroy all of that if Hoseok doesn’t get to you in time.
He remembers how small she made him feel. How small you were when he first saw you. He won’t let you get that way again. Hoseok won’t let you disappear.
Jungkook is the one who would win this race on any other day, where the stakes any different, but just this once Hoseok is faster. Hurling himself over the concrete as fast as his body will take him. Hoseok cuts through the air like wind.
They run, feet thumping. Bodies thudding, hearts and lungs delivering oxygen to their needy muscles. Beat-up sneakers gripping the concrete. Down and down the stairs, plummeting. Almost tripping and falling on the slippery concrete steps. The doors start to close just as they round the corner.
By some miracle of blood and sweat, Hobi's the one who overtakes Jungkook. The doors are closing and the train's metal shell is beginning to hum and vibrate as it makes to pull away from the tracks.
In a last-ditch effort, Hoseok throws himself in the direction of the closing doors.
~-~
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Do i think that hobi could have actually warned the pack what she was planning to do? Yes. Do I also think that he thought he had more time to warn them and really wanted to sleep off his near death experience? also yes. Namjoon giving him drugs obviously didn't help. i honestly don't think he was thinking clearly.
this is one of those chapters where everything could have gone differently if they'd just been given a little bit more- but i digress- we all know life isn't so neat and tidy.
I can't not write thinking about the angsty alternative ending for bily- but you guys should know the namjoon/m/c scene...if things had gone poorly in this chapter- this would have been the last time they spoke or touched each other for 3 years- for those who are wondering about the alternative ending- i will NOT be posting any of it on AO3. Only on tumblr through asks! i'll try to tag the super triggering stuff but yeah.
when i think of namjoon and the m/c and their relationship- i think that what they want most for each other is to just see the other old and happy like- that becomes the foundation for their relationship. thats why it's namjoon who she thanks. it also doesn't escape me that yoongi is not in this chapter very much- this is intentional. just wait for next chapter and his anger! i swear its so fucking hot my god i really wanted them to fuck in the next chapter but i just don't think it's going to happen.
the og version of this chapter called for jimin parking hobi's car on the tracks and literally letting the train hit it- not derail- but just hit it. just to get it to stop for the m/c however i figured that was going a bit too far.
Me writing any part with jimin in it- "what if i added a bit of religious trauma to it?"
the line where namjoon talks about his hands hurting is like- directly related to me, because my hands didn't hurt all the time before i started writing bily but now my Knuckles hurt almost every morning. After writing for more than an hour they hurt. i guess when you love something enough it hurts you lol i don't mind.
the "you want a lifetime with them" lines are mostly a callback to like...grey's anatomy. namjoon's charecter is LOOOSELY based on mcdreamy of course the whole...neurosurgeon thing and i am 3 seasons into a re-watch so~ you will have to tollerate that cringeworthy refrence~
i've always wanted to structure a chapter around the thud and thump of a heart and yeah!! i think did a few back but i wanted to do it again~
i don't think i was very subtle with the hoseok train station and the train ticket parts of the story like- i think i forshadowed pretty heavily that it was eventually going to be used but! i hope you liked the big reveal.
how did you guys like the cliffhanger? should i spoil it for you when i've always said that bily would get a happy ending????? i mean...come on... we all know hoseok's gonna be fast enough right?
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back2bluesidex · 3 months
Text
Bus Ride - KNJ (18+)
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Pairing: School Teacher!Namjoon X School Teacher, Fem! Reader
Theme: smut, fluff, coworkers to lovers au.
Wordcount: 1.2k+
Summary: Namjoon has a massive crush on his coworker and it takes all his self control to survive a bus-ride with her.
Warnings: SMUT, pwp but not really, grinding on each other in a bus full of students, protected sex, shy Namjoon, confident reader. NSFW!!
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
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Namjoon has always had a massive crush on you. 
First of all, you are too beautiful for your own good. Those big doe eyes, those pretty lips, those full cheeks, and that damned smile have caught his eyes from the first time when you walked into the staff room. 
But what got him absolutely smitten with you, was your wit and your confidence that make you way too sexy to resist. 
He still remembers that debate competition (arranged for the teachers), when you outwitted him within 5 minutes of the discussion. 
That was, well, the first time he ever lost a debate. However, he wasn’t sad or embarrassed to lose to a junior teacher. Rather he was overjoyed as you walked to him at the end of the competition and thanked for being a tough opponent. 
That was the moment when he felt butterflies in his stomach with a subtle lightheadedness and warmth on his cheeks. 
But… 
He has never felt how he is feeling right now. 
The school had a field trip today and everything was going fine until the very last moment when he, you and all the other teachers got to know that the bus (which was meant for teachers) had broken down. 
So the teachers had to split up and get crammed inside already crowded buses filled with loud students. 
He got into a bus only to find you already waiting inside. 
You smiled up at him politely and said “there is no seat left. Guess we’ll have to stand all the way to home” in a very soft voice, raising goosebumps all over his skin.
He tried so hard to hide the rosy hue of his cheeks and muttered a little “I guess so” but he isn't sure if you have caught him or not. 
But that’s not the point here! 
The point is that he is, now, in a very compromising position. 
Your body is pressed tightly on his, your back to his firm sturdy chest, your ass to his crotch. 
The bus ride is of an hour, 32 minutes of which have passed. And within these 32 minutes, your position of standing beside him somehow changed into you standing right before him. 
He is not blaming you, he blames the continuous jerks and not-so-smooth town roads. 
He could have removed himself from his position long ago but the way your body feels against his, is way too delicious of a feeling. 
For most of the part it was fine but right now, things are getting a little too difficult.
And hard.. Such as his cock. 
Your ass looks so plump, so round through the material of your dress-skirt that he couldn’t resist himself when you absentmindedly brushed it on his crotch. 
That’s how it started and now he is hard beyond his imagination. 
And he knows you feel it too. 
What if you think he is a pervert and accuse him of sexual abuse later on? He should definitely move away but he just can’t. 
The smell of your hair, the warmth radiating through your body, and the pressure of your hips are way too alluring. 
But no! 
Come back to your senses, Namjoon! He tells himself as he slowly tries to move away from you. 
Just then you roll your hips once more, this time grinding directly on his bulge. 
Fuck! Are you trying to kill him or what? 
He groans a little, trying not to wake up the tired and sleeping students. 
“Mr. Kim” he hears you addressing him. His heart beats erratically inside his chest. 
“Hmm?” he asks. 
“You are… hard.” you whisper, rolling your hips on his clothed cock once more. 
“Fuck” he curses right beside your ears and you repeat your actions. 
“What are you trying to do, Y/N?” he places another question for you.
“Riling you up, probably?” you smirk, turning your head to meet his eyes. 
Your eyes are hazy with lust, just as his. 
He grabs your side with one of his hands while the other stays on the support-bar. 
Squeezing your sides a little, he thrusts up.  
The friction is delicious and he can just go on like this for the rest of the bus ride. And the sweet low sounds that you are making, are leveling up the sensession even more. 
“Teacher, when will we reach?” a male student asks all of sudden, interrupting your dirty deeds. 
And then Namjoon is detaching himself from your body, looking at his watch and telling the student that they are about to reach in less than 10 minutes. 
As soon as the student closes his eyes again, Namjoon drags his lips right beside your ear and says, “we should not do this.” 
“Yes. you are right.” you reply. 
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“Thanks for walking me home.” you smile at your colleague cum crush, Kim Namjoon. 
He smiles back. Under the fluorescent light of your porch, he appears to be even more beautiful. 
His dimpled cheeks, shy smile, tall figure and those goddamn thighs always send your mind in overdrive. 
And as a result, you ended up grinding on his cock in a bus full of students. Not that he was innocent either but still you feel a little embarrassed now. It’s better to apologize to avoid getting awkward with each other later on. 
So you say, “I am sorry for my behavior on the bus earlier.” 
“What- no! Don’t apologize. I was just as desperate if not more.” he mumbles, staring at the ground, “and honestly, this was the best bus ride I have ever had.” 
That’s all. That’s what you needed to hear. 
As long as those words leave his mouth, you are running towards him and locking his lips with yours. 
He kisses back instantly. His hands find the expanse of your ass, groping and squeezing it as much as he likes. 
It is a struggle to walk inside the house being tangled with each other, but you get it done. And then your clothes are flying everywhere, so are his. 
When you both fall on the couch, both of you are naked. 
You feel upset for not getting to fuck him raw when he rolls the condom on his giant cock. And when he pushes the tip inside your cunt and kisses your ear, you feel ten thousand emotions all at the same time. 
His thrusts are rough and hard, your walls squeeze him hard making him cum before you. But he doesn’t stop from pulling out your orgasm. 
He slips on his knees and dives down into your heated core for a taste. By sucking, licking and biting on your clit, he pulls out the best orgasm you have ever had. You cum on his tongue. 
“Have I ever told you how much I like you?” he says when he slips into the covers beside you on your bed. 
“No you didn’t but you were obvious enough for me to know.” you smile, placing a peck on his lips. 
“Shit! Really?” his eyes go wide. 
“Yeah. Mr. Kim and apparently you were blind too! You never got all the hints I have been leaving here and there. It took a field trip, a broken bus and a bus ride for you to be here!”
He laughs at this, holding you close to him and catching you in yet another mind numbing kiss.  
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Taglist:
@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae @i-have-no-life-charlie
287 notes · View notes
lo1k-diamonds · 2 months
Text
Unique 💜 (Part 1)
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PAIRING: idol!Namjoon/OC
SUMMARY: After overhearing something he shouldn't have, Namjoon promises to make it up to the bride by keeping her bridesmaid company during the rehearsal dinner party. What was supposed to be an unremarkable night became something so much more.
WORD COUNT: 20.9k
GENRE: strangers to lovers (bonus: Yoongi has a secret)
RATING: R (explicit)
WARNINGS: explicit, first meetings, light angst, Namjoon is a communication and consent king, protected sex, oral, fingering/handjob, toys, sapiosexuality, body worship, dirty talk, mouth riding, I think I can say switching (+ BTS being chaotic around RM and making him all embarrassed 😁)
(You can also read it on AO3, originally posted there in March 2023)
A.N. Part 1 stands as a one-shot so I'm going to post it here to complement all the snippets from Part 2. I just love this one bad and I'm not even sure I can do it justice in the sequel 😩
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Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost. ― Khalil Gibran
“When’s the last time you’ve seen her?”
Jimin’s voice echoed in the corridor as the other six men followed him.
“Before the tour, definitely,” Hoseok answered with a grin.
“Right?” Jimin asked, glancing at the others for confirmation.
“She didn’t even wait for us to have a bachelorette party,” Jin whined.
“Of course she couldn’t, she couldn’t wait until the eve of the wedding,” Taehyung scoffed.
“Why not?” Jungkook pouted with a raised eyebrow. They all stopped in front of the apartment door. “It’s what they do in the Hollywood movies, right?”
“She can’t attend her wedding with dark circles and a hangover,” Yoongi scoffed at their silliness. “That’s a Hollywood invention.”
“But she could have waited for us,” Jungkook pouted.
“And deal with BTS at her party?” Hoseok shook his head with a smile.
“Yeah, this is way better, guys,” Namjoon finally intervened. Jimin rang the doorbell. “This way we have a nice drink with her before the big party, and it will be just us remembering old times.”
“That’s right,” Hoseok agreed with a warm smile.
Jimin turned with a grin, “Maybe this is the time she’ll tell us all about the cream incident—”
“Uhhhh, won’t you look at the time—” Yoongi suddenly stammered, turning around with the intention to walk away.
Jungkook and Jin grabbed him, blocking him while everyone smirked. They teased him about it, but it was short-lived. The door opened and they all turned to greet the woman they wanted to meet.
“There’s our bride!”
“Our Hyejin is glowing!”
“Wow, you look so beautiful!”
“So pure and fresh!”
She giggled with a wide grin, pulling her long dark hair behind her shoulders. “I spent the day at the spa,” she boasted, stepping away for them to come in.
They complimented her complexion and radiance for a hot moment before she shooed them over to the living room.
“Wait there, I’ll be with you in a second.”
Namjoon was the last one in, and he stood around while the guys sat on the sofa and chairs in the dining room. Their chat was nice until they noticed Hyejin was taking way too long.
“I’ll go check on her,” Namjoon offered. He was already standing anyway.
“Bring alcohol,” Jimin asked playfully, making the others laugh.
Namjoon grinned and shook his head at their goofiness, but before he could enter the kitchen, he froze.
“We should finish our conversation,” a female voice said. What shocked him was not that he didn’t recognize it, but that it spoke in English.
“No, we should leave it for tomorrow. The friends I grew up with just arrived,” Hyejin’s tone was soft and hopeful. “I would like you to meet them.”
Whoever it was puffed, “I don’t speak Korean, you know that.”
“Angie—”
“Besides, don’t you think you should think about this before getting married?”
Hyejin released a deep impatient breath, “We shouldn’t speak of it right now—”
“It’s in English, they won’t understand anyway,” Angie dismissed dryly.
Hyejin was pressing her lips, “You’d be surprised. Actually—”
“Stop trying to dodge the issue.”
Namjoon took a deep quiet breath, he should probably announce himself before—
“I’m no one's reference in this, Hyejin,” Angie sighed. “But you should obviously find what works for you, not try to fit someone else’s ideal.”
“You say that, but you’re every guy’s ideal.�� 
Namjoon’s eyebrows twitched; Hyejin sounded upset. He wondered what they were talking about.
Angie laughed bitterly, “That is so far from the truth!” Unbeknownst to Namjoon, she was shaking her head with a sour smile. “Sure, in theory, every guy wants a girlfriend that enjoys and wants to have sex, but none like it when she has a bigger libido than they do.”
Namjoon’s eyebrows skyrocketed.
“How big exactly are we talking?” Hyejin suddenly perked up. She was very persistent when she wanted to. “No, let’s put a number on it. How many times have you had sex in the last month?”
Angie snickered, “Exactly zero.” 
Hyejin was taken aback for a second, then she nodded, “Of course, you’re single.” 
Angie raised her eyebrows, “That’s not why though…”
“Alright, then how many times did you masturbate in the last month?”
“Month??” Angie’s brown eyes were wide. “How am I supposed to count? Ahm, I guess…”
Namjoon was blushing, he rubbed his face to hide the embarrassment. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but he wasn’t moving. 
“Forget it then. What about… in the last twenty-four hours?”
“Three.”
Namjoon raised his head, that was a fast answer.
“Three?!”
Angie rolled her eyes.
“Oh my god, just go and have sex,” Hyejin smirked. “Let’s go out, I'll be your wing woman.”
“It’s not about that,” Angie’s voice was strained. “What I truly crave is intimacy. That’s why once is not enough, the orgasms feel thin as if something is missing. And to have sex, well… You know me, I need to trust the guy, to be able to have a conversation…”
“You’re too picky,” Hyejin had a playful tone.
“And here I was thinking I wanted the bare minimum…”
Hyejin laughed and suddenly gasped. She had crossed the kitchen’s archway to find Namjoon just standing there, out of sight, with his back against the wall. His eyes widened at being caught, his cheeks were red as tomatoes and he opened his mouth to surely stutter an apology.
“I’m going to bed,” the voice from the kitchen said, and Hyejin turned back to look at her best friend.
She glanced at Namjoon for a split second then smiled, “You know I got your back, right?”
Angie smiled, “Of course, and I got yours. You’re right, let’s talk better tomorrow,” she rubbed her face and pulled her sandy-colored hair back. “I’m too tired. At what time for brunch tomorrow?”
“Eleven,” Hyejin smiled after giving Namjoon a stink eye so he would stay where he was.
He was closing his eyes with his lips between his teeth, cursing his stupid curiosity. Hyejin was going to kill him.
“Perfect, I need to sleep my jetlag off. It’s the only hope I have to look like a human being tomorrow.”
Hyejin chuckled at Angie’s playfulness and waved her goodbye. Angie left through the opposite archway to reach the corridor that led to the bedrooms.
Then Hyejin turned to the red elephant in her dining room with a harsh look.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop—”
“I can trust that that conversation will—”
“I’ll take it with me to my grave.”
“And the other guys?”
“Won't ever know about it.”
Hyejin released a deep breath, then eyed Namjoon from head to toe. The instant she saw him she cursed her luck that the only BTS member who was fluent in English was the one who happened to overhear their conversation. But now… maybe that was actually a blessing in disguise.
“Do you really regret it?” She asked with a cocked eyebrow.
“Yes, of course!” He sounded pleading. “I should have never—”
“Namjoon! Oh—” Jin stumbled on them in surprise, “What is taking you so long?”
Namjoon opened his mouth, not sure of what to say, but Hyejin answered first, “He’s helping me with drinks. Soju?”
“And beer!” Jungkook yelled from the living room.
Jin grinned at the maknae’s request, then turned back to the two of them. “I’ll help—”
“No, Jin oppa, it’s okay,” Hyejin smiled. “I was talking with Joonie…”
Jin’s eyebrows raised, “Well, and I can’t hear it?”
“It’s important,” her tone was sweet as she pouted, and Jin sighed.
“Fine, I’ll leave you two be.”
Jin shrugged and left them, telling the others they’d bring drinks soon. Namjoon and Hyejin were close, it wasn’t weird that she wanted to speak with him alone.
She turned to Namjoon, “Make it up to me. To us.”
He frowned slightly, but then nodded, “Sure. What can I do?”
Hyejin licked her lips but then decided. “I would like it if you could be with Angie at the rehearsal tomorrow night and at the wedding.”
“Be with her?” He repeated, confused.
“Yes. Well, you speak English fluently and I don’t want her to be left alone and uncomfortable.” Hyejin released a deep breath, “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I can’t think of anyone else. Truth is I was going to ask you about it tonight anyway.”
“It’s not a lot to ask…” He answered, scratching his chin. “I’m more concerned about the tabloids.”
“It’s my wedding, Joon. No freaking tabloids or media,” her voice was harsh and he immediately regretted mentioning it. He knew how sensitive she was on the subject. “Plus you don’t have to be with her only, stay with the guys too. Just don’t leave her alone.”
He nodded with a small smile, “I can do that, don’t worry.”
She smiled happily with one less worry. “Consider it your wedding gift,” she playfully said, waving at him to follow her into the kitchen. They did need to get drinks.
Namjoon laughed, “No way, we already arranged something else.” His cute dimples were showing and she felt reassured. “Just don’t stress about it.”
She started getting the bottles and cans out of the fridge and putting them on the counter when she suddenly remembered. “Also… I’ll just say it to be sure. Don’t leave her alone with my brother. He has always had a thing for her and I’m afraid of how it could escalate.”
Namjoon’s eyebrows jumped up and a couple of thoughts ran through his mind. A look at Hyejin told him she could read him like an open book, and before he could apologize, Hyejin smacked him.
“Just because she has a big libido, it does not mean she’ll sleep with anyone,” she pointed out with frustration. “My brother included. He’s just a playboy and he’s married. Do not let him get near her, do you understand? He’ll harass her and I don’t want fights at my wedding.”
Namjoon, feeling deeply regretful again for his callous thoughts, just nodded and promised to be good company for Angie over the weekend.
He just didn’t know how to do it. He had never met her, not even seen her. He hoped he would get a glimpse of her before leaving, but throughout the night it was just them and Hyejin. 
He kept playing the words she said in his mind, and he wondered what kind of person she was. She was definitely the type to be good friends with Hyejin, otherwise, she wouldn't be staying at her house or have her request that favor of him. 
His mind was already contemplating how he should approach her: should he apologize, should he give her some advice, should he be her wingman, should he just play it cool? He kept wondering about all those things and by the time he entered the rehearsal dining hall with the rest of BTS the next night, he hadn’t made up his mind.
Hyejin was at the entrance with her fiancé, whom BTS knew well, and they greeted each other.
"So about that track—"
"No work talk at my party please," Hyejin interrupted quickly, making her fiancé smirk and step back from Yoongi.
"Yes, dear."
Namjoon got close to her and hugged her, "You look so beautiful."
She hugged him back closely, and he knew she was nervous and overwhelmed.
"You'll do what I asked you?" She asked with a hint of anxiety in her smile.
"Of course," he assured her with warmth, rubbing her arms once soothingly.
She nodded, "Thank you. She'll be here soon. Just be yourself."
He chuckled and scratched his neck, "About that…"
But he didn't get the chance to ask, as other people arriving pushed them in after a rushed photo with the bride and groom.
From then on it was a mess for a while. Lots of people he knew approached him and the others for a chat, and he couldn’t say no but he wasn't there to talk about work or pamper them. It was a celebration and he had made a promise, he couldn’t disappoint Hyejin and stress her even more.
The guys ended up splitting between the dancefloor, the bar, and their dining table. He ended up grabbing his whiskey and going to his spot on the table by himself. He sat down and sighed; parties were not his thing, and he got tired quickly.
He placed his glass down and then noticed the names on the cards next to him: on one side, Jin, on the other Angie Wagner. He blinked and leaned closer to see it. She'd sit next to him?
"So," a female voice he recognized sounded from behind him and made him turn. "On a scale of one to ten, how much did you understand the conversation last night?"
She pulled the chair to sit down next to him and he just stared. She was sitting in Angie’s spot, and he recognized her voice, so… Angie?
She was wearing a light lilac string dress that fell all the way to the floor. Her sandy blonde hair was braided in a hairdo, letting a few strands fall around her face and neck. Her eyes were brown and shiny, they looked incredibly astute and he suddenly had the feeling he would not be able to hide anything from her.
She raised her thin eyebrows quizzically and he stammered, “I— Well—” For a second he considered pretending he had no idea what she was talking about, but then he gave up on it. “I believe most of it.”
She nodded, “Meaning all of it.”
He pressed his lips and looked down in clear regret, “How did you know?”
“Hyejin can’t lie to save her life. It was obvious she was looking at someone, despite her attempts to deny it.” Angie sighed, looking around at the card names on the table. “And I heard you speaking in English before.”
She waved back at the bar, and he nodded while pressing his lips in nervousness. He guessed she could connect the dots.
“So are you thinking I’m just a promiscuous Western woman or can I still save some face?”
His cheeks were becoming pink, but he chuckled, “I don’t think being Western has anything to do with it. You’re just freer to talk about it in Western countries, which I find a healthy thing." He looked at her, who was just attentively listening to him. Hyejin told him to be himself so he'd risk it. It was only fair after having learned such intimate secrets. “You’d find equally promiscuous women here, they probably just hide it more.”
She pursed her lips, intrigued by his words, but they were interrupted by a waiter with champagne flutes. She took one with a small head bow.
“Besides, if I understood correctly, you’re not that promiscuous.” He pressed his lips, was he really going to talk about this? “Something about having standards…”
She laughed and his dimples appeared. He was flustered and hot, but it was pleasing to speak with someone so earnestly.
“So you did understand everything!” She didn't look mad, she was grinning and sounded playful. “Can you tell that to Hyejin, though? I have a feeling she wants to ‘help me’ somehow when she doesn’t seem to understand the situation.”
His eyebrows puckered, “How does she plan on helping?”
“Something about a guy babysitting me tonight,” she shrugged. “I’m sure she means well, but it’s not how these things work. Although I must admit I’d be bored out of my mind if you weren’t here.”
“How so?” He laughed to take away from his embarrassment, realizing immediately he was the 'babysitter'. He didn’t know how to feel about it.
“Well, I wanted to make sure you’d keep that conversation private and now I’m pleasantly surprised that not only are you fluent in English, but you can actually have a conversation. I don’t see a way to be bored now.” He nodded with his warm cheeks marked by his dimples. “And with a bit of luck, I can escape the so-called babysitter. I'm not sure I trust Hyejin's taste in men to meet my standards.”
He tried laughing but it came out dry. Did he understand it right? Hyejin had implied to Angie that they'd… and she didn't trust Hyejin to choose someone, but it was him so—
“Do you want some tiramisu?” She interrupted his thoughts after downing her champagne. He looked at her, confused, and she pointed at the walking dinner on the tables at the other end of the room. “I’m starving.”
He nodded and went with her, grabbing not only tiramisu but also other small bites. He made a judgment call then to keep his mouth shut about being the person Hyejin had chosen to 'babysit' her. That way Angie wouldn't feel imposed on and they could keep chatting amicably.
They went back to the table with their food and continued chatting. Some of the BTS members noticed this.
“Wow, Joon made a friend,” Taehyung pointed out from the dancefloor in surprise.
Jimin turned and gasped dramatically, “Really?! Let’s go meet her—”
Hoseok stopped them both by getting in their way. “Oh no, you don’t. Let him be.”
“But he made a friend, I want to know her too,” Taehyung pouted playfully.
“Guys, he’s talking to a girl,” Hoseok repeated, playing with his eyebrows.
“He talks with girls all the time,” Taehyung pointed out, confused.
“Ohhhh, I see what you mean,” Jimin smirked with a nod.
“What?”
“It’s a wedding weekend, people do crazy things,” Hoseok smiled intently at Taehyung.
“So? Are you implying that our Joonie will sleep with that girl?”
“Joonie will sleep with a girl?!” Jungkook’s shocked gasp came from behind Taehyung and Jimin quickly hushed him.
“Shh, we don’t know that,” he told him, making Jungkook truly puzzled. Why was Jimin shushing him, the music was so loud!
“But he’s so shy, there’s no way—”
“Let’s give him the opportunity,” Hoseok interrupted Taehyung.
“It won’t hurt,” Jimin pointed out.
Jungkook pouted his lips, “It will if she hurts him.”
The other three men shook their heads with a smile. “He’s old enough, let him decide that for himself,” Hoseok pointed out, and the other three agreed.
Namjoon was truly intrigued to be talking with Angie about women's emancipation and the feminine movement. It was a topic he had sought to educate himself about but that he rarely got to talk about. He was interested in learning the perspective of a woman, or should he say a Western woman.
“The thing is that it’s not because I believe in equality that I don’t like things like chivalry or an actual man,” she pointed out with a short deep breath that contained her frustration. “In what dating is concerned, I would like a partner that doesn’t fall into extremes and I feel that’s happening more and more.”
“What kind of extremes?”
“Like the woman is always right and can do no wrong, or women are bitches that don’t accept men for who they are. I’ve seen both, I hate both,” she pointed out cleanly, then shrugged. 
“That really happens?” He asked, surprised while they ate.
“Oh yeah. You try to date for a few months and it just becomes insufferable,” she chuckled, but he could see there was an inch of bitterness. “I truly just want a partner, an equal partner. I believe this to be a good standard, but then none of my friends understand why it’s so hard.”
He nodded, he sort of understood her. He didn’t hope to find someone who could stand by his side easily, and he wasn’t eager to put anyone through that, but if he could choose, he’d prefer to have someone by his side, not beneath or above.
“Like my friends say I expect too much, that I should just date a genius from work.” Her tone was despairing yet scornful. “And it’s precisely why I’ll never ever date any of them. I mean, I know I’m smarter than most, but I don’t want a genius by my side. I don't consider myself a genius, despite popular belief.”
He was looking at her with wide and intrigued eyes. He opened his mouth, then backtracked — there was so much information to unpack there he wasn’t sure about what to ask first.
“Look and behold, Mr. Namjoon,” she opened her arms with a cocky smile as if presenting herself. “You’re talking with the youngest professor of Quantum Physics at MIT.”
His jaw dropped and his eyes widened even more, “Really? Wow!”
She chuckled, closing her arms again and finally reaching for the tiramisu. “I know, I get that a lot. I'm surrounded by people who are pure geniuses in every sense of the word but lack everything else required for socialization. And me being a woman in the middle of men should sound fun, but it really isn’t.” She sighed, with a spoon of dessert in her mouth. She didn’t look very happy. “Everyone thinks I'm at a buffet, when in reality I wish I could go to a Michelin-star restaurant and have that one gourmet meal.”
She was expecting him to laugh at her analogy, but he nodded with a small smile that overflowed with sympathy.
“I get you… I sometimes feel like the Michelin-star meal, only I’m behind a glass and I can’t interact with anyone.”
She raised an eyebrow, “You consider yourself a Michelin-star meal?”
Her tone was playful but he choked on his spit, blushing a strong shade of red. “That’s a way of speaking,” he tried saying through coughs.
She giggled and tapped his back soothingly, “I’m messing with you.” She waited for him to calm down before taking a deep breath, “That must suck balls.”
He laughed, a bit more relaxed. “It does, and it doesn’t. I know I inspire a lot of people, as they inspire me. That’s why I… you know, Michelin meal—” She was looking at him with a mocking smile, so he coughed to clear his throat. “Anyway. It’s lonely.”
“What do you do?” She asked, cleaning her tiramisu cup with her spoon.
His eyebrows twitched for a second. She didn’t know? She was friends with Hyejin and she didn’t know? Should he not tell her? But she surely knew who he was to Hyejin, so should he tell her?
He licked his lips. Be yourself.
“I’m a music producer.”
She whistled, “Like Hyejin’s fiancé, then?” He nodded. “Right, you must work with her father. I keep forgetting that she comes from a music background.” She laughed to herself. “But anyway, lonely? How can that be?” Her pitch was high again and playful. “I imagine you have at least one girl every day trying to make a move on you to fall in your good graces and get that record deal.”
He laughed awkwardly, “I don’t and I would hate it if I did.”
“Because you’re not into women?”
“Because I’m shy,” he answered quickly and seriously, looking into her eyes. 
Her features slowly lost their teasing glim and sobered. “I wonder about that… you’re talking pretty okay with me.”
He nodded, “There are… reasons for that.”
“Such as?”
“You’re Hyejin’s friend and you don’t want a music deal.”
She laughed giddily, “How do you know? Maybe this is just us scheming or something.”
He couldn’t help the smirk on his lips, “She could get you something just as easily as I could.”
Angie hummed playfully and leaned into him, and he didn’t move away. “But maybe I'd prefer to be associated with the genius Kim Namjoon?”
He held her eyes with a raised eyebrow. He felt hot and proud at her words, which was unusual for him. Normally, he’d be the first to say he wasn’t that big of a deal, he wasn’t that great. He was truly nobody. As the seconds ticked, this truth came to light in his mind. He had to be truthful with her.
“I’m really not that great.” She tilted her head with a smile of who wonders about that. “I’m just a poet,” he added. He tried ignoring the burn on his cheeks, why was that happening? Maybe even that was untrue? “I… I just appreciate art. In all its forms. And try to do something with my thoughts. That’s it.”
He quickly reached for a sip of his whiskey, and then took a deep breath. He felt like he was stammering or vomiting his thoughts without reflection, what the hell was he doing? Why was he oscillating between being relaxed and so freaking nervous?
She smiled warmly, “I’m just teasing you.” She straightened herself and he felt weirdly upset at being able to breathe freely again. “So art. What’s your favorite kind of art? Excluding poetry and music?”
“It’s very difficult to choose,” he confessed. He looked at the table for a moment of absolute focus before answering. “I feel like right after hearing, my eyes are the next sense I rely on. So I’m inclined to say anything visual. Anything that invokes things in me that reflect deep thoughts.”
“Interesting,” she said, creasing her forehead a bit. “Would you say it helps with your music?”
“It definitely does,” he agreed instantaneously. “It has helped me a lot to see my struggles reflected and shaped by the hands of so many artists. To see it given color or texture through other means than sounds, or words.” He smiled, “I could never do it, but I recognize it because our struggle is the same, it’s human. It’s very freeing in a way.”
Angie smiled softly. She was now totally focused on the man in front of her, sitting turned to him and supporting her head on her hand.
“I wish I knew more about art,” she confessed. His eyes locked with hers for a moment before he looked away with a smile. He was shy, she could see that. But he was also very intriguing, definitely the best kind of surprise that night or trip could offer her. She wondered if he understood what she meant to imply with her words.
“It’s an infinite subject. Even I am still learning about it after years of interest,” his smile was kind. He licked his lips and looked at her again, “I could show you a few things.”
Her lips curved immediately, “I’d like that.”
And he pressed his, looking away again. “I went to Europe once to do a tour around many museums.” He turned to her with a smile, “I was in Switzerland for a few days and visited so many exhibitions, then Paris too. I can show you pictures if you’d like.”
She smiled, “That sounds nice. I would have loved to see it myself.”
He sighed, “Yeah. I couldn’t see everything I wanted, I didn’t have the time. I wish I could just go and spend a month or two there, really take in the places. The cultures, they’re so close to each other, but they’re so different. I hiked Mount Rigi last time, but there’s still so much to see in the Swiss Alps, and also in other countries.” 
He was so invested in sharing his thoughts his eyes were shining. They were close now and he didn’t mind, quite the opposite. He was normally quiet with his entourage about such things, but with her, he felt accepted. She wasn’t scorning or being derisive, she was drinking his words out of interest for new things.
“You should go and do it. Take time off, pause, and do what you truly want to do.” Her tone was serious. “Life is short. Everyone always told me I’d have to fight tooth and nail to get somewhere, and that I’d get there in my old age. Well, I’m nearly thirty and I feel like I’ve reached that place already. And it sucks,” she shrugged in sorrow, reaching for her drink. “It should feel fulfilling, but it’s empty. I look behind me and see what I’ve missed, what I sacrificed. I realize I’ve won the race, but there’s really nothing to celebrate. And for as much as I may have gained, I became fearful of heights. Because now that everyone knows my potential, everyone would be disappointed if I didn’t meet the quota for just one day. And then… the real loneliness would start.”
A hint of sorrow passed through her features quickly before she downed another champagne flute, and he just nodded solemnly.
“There must be something to celebrate. Though… the responsibilities… they follow us,” he said quietly. “Even if I wanted to pause and go, it’s just not possible.”
“I’m telling you it has to be, Namjoon.” Her eyes were shining, but she didn’t hide them away. “There has to be more to life than grinding, burning out, and chasing the idea of success.” She put her glass down, “I keep convincing myself that this is what I wanted, that it was an opportunity all along, that I’m doing something great with myself, but am I?” She seemed to contain her tears of frustration. “I mean sure, there is an importance to what I’m doing. to what we’re doing. I’m teaching and shaping young minds, and I’m involved in projects that will advance our technology and understanding of the universe significantly. You’re doing music people love and inspiring them, like you said. Surely, all of it has meaning. But then why do I feel spent?”
She looked away with an anxious breath and her eyes fell on Hyejin laughing at the entrance of the party. That was what happiness looked like.
Her eyes turned back at him and his serious expression. She chuckled, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be bothering you with my existential conundrums.”
“Not at all, I feel like… we’re different, but similar in many ways.”
She looked at him and they stayed in silence for a moment. The party and music were developing all around them while they found some sort of empathy in each other’s existence.
“Maybe,” she acceded, with softening eyes. Her lips curved gently, “It’s not every day I get to talk about this.”
He was going to ask why but he never did.
“Ahh!” A yell sounded from behind them that had them both turn. The beautiful and glowing Hyejin placed her hands on their shoulders with a smile that could rival the sun. “I’m so happy you found each other!” Namjoon smiled politely, but Angie was furrowing her brow quizzically. Hyejin squeezed her shoulder, “See, I told you you would like him.”
“What do you mean?”
Namjoon opened his mouth, but Hyejin spoke first. “Well, I know you didn’t want a ‘babysitter’, but I chose the best as your company.”
Angie’s eyebrows jumped as her features changed just a little. She smiled with a hint of bitterness, “Indeed.”
Angie cursed herself mentally as she tried not to give her thoughts away. She should have figured the ‘babysitter’ would be the same guy who eavesdropped, though she had thought more than one of her friends would speak English fluently, hence they could have been different people. Honestly, she just wanted to make sure he’d stay quiet about what he heard, but maybe the fact that he was cute and interesting clouded her judgment. Maybe she did have unattainable standards, she didn’t seem to be that bright herself if she was going to let something so simple happen right under her nose.
Her eyes shifted from Hyejin when she was called away to Namjoon, who was looking worried. That was guilt, wasn’t it? He knew about it, he just played dumb. He could have told her he was the guy Hyejin wanted her to meet, but he decided not to probably because he wasn’t interested and didn’t want to embarrass her. Well. She still was.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Hyejin smiled, seeing she couldn’t avoid whatever problem was calling for her.
As soon as she left, Angie dragged her chair back as Namjoon spoke. “I can explain.”
“A bit too late for that,” her voice was stoic as she got up. “If you’ll excuse me.”
She turned to leave without a second thought. That was freaking embarrassing, and utterly disappointing. Maybe she got too tipsy and confident? Maybe. Either way, she never had to speak with him again, so—
“Wait.”
She glanced at him, surprised he had followed her out of the party to the elevator lobby of the hotel, but she didn’t stop. She pressed the button to call the elevator.
And he stopped next to her, “Wait.” He swallowed, and she finally glanced at him. She was showing no emotions on her face and it twisted his stomach even more. “I didn’t know what to say. The way you spoke of it made me feel like it was something bad.”
“Bad?” She knew she wasn’t tipsy, she just had to respond to such a silly idea. “I told you I would never be bored with you, how is that bad?”
“It isn’t.”
“Then why not tell me?”
“I didn’t want to pressure you. That’s why I chose to be the other guy. I wanted to be the guy you chose to come and find and chat with, not the one Hyejin asked to babysit you and that you didn’t want to meet.”
She stepped inside the elevator, pressed floor seven, and then looked at him. She looked confused and hurt and he just stood there waiting for her to say something.
“I guess you’re neither now.”
The elevator doors started closing and he felt a rush. Time slowed, he had a decision to make. He never got to be with someone who understood him. He was always afraid of the backstabbing and image issues, everyone was watching, and it was too risky to do anything. Everything relating to dating had been relegated to the last spot on his priority list, the furthest corner of his mind and heart. But right there he could reach for something that resembled what he always wished he could experience.
So he stepped inside at the last second, squeezing through the doors. Her eyebrows jumped in surprise.
“But I could be both,” he finally said.
The elevator started moving and she raised a skeptical eyebrow. He tried not to feel disheartened. For the first time, she was looking incredibly cold and unapproachable, and it saddened him.
“Explain.”
Despite her detached tone, he felt alive. “I could be the guy you came to find and that stuck around you because you’re interesting and captivating.”
Her lips twitched in skepticism, “You don’t have to work that hard, Mr. Kim Namjoon. I know Hyejin told you to look after me, but I’m going to my room where I’ll be perfectly safe by myself.”
He didn’t hesitate. “I’m speaking the truth.” 
“Are you? You haven’t exactly been the most truthful.”
He pressed his lips and looked down — that hit him. Hyejin had told him to be himself and lying was not something he ever did. Being dishonest was not like him, and it felt off. 
Angie exited the elevator without another word and Namjoon followed her all the way until she reached for a card to unlock her room door.
“Then let me,” he asked. She entered her room. “Let me be truthful.”
She stopped and turned to him. She was holding the doorknob in her hand and the doorway was the line separating them. She considered his words for a moment, then nodded. It couldn’t hurt to hear him out, she already felt humiliated as it was.
“I’m not just a producer,” he said, and she frowned very lightly. He was sure then she truly didn’t know who he was. “I’m an idol. Do you know what that is?”
“People that sing and dance and are idolized by teenagers?” She seemed confused.
He grimaced, “You get the gist.” He sighed, “We are very well known, so our lives are scrutinized and it gets lonely.”
She shifted the weight on her legs, “So that’s why you’re here? Because you’re lonely?”
He let out a tense breath. “I’m here because you are enticing. Your words, your mind. You’re so captivating I could just talk to you all night to learn your ideas about everything the world has to offer.”
“You want to chat?”
He opened his mouth, unsure about what to say. She removed her high heels and threw them inside, then heaved a deep breath.
“I don’t know what to think of you right now.” She admitted, then shrugged. “I figured you didn’t say anything because you didn’t want to give me the impression you were interested in that way, and that’s fine. But then why follow me here?” He became flustered, and she just shook her head. “You’re worried about me complaining to Hyejin? I won’t. Are you feeling guilty? You’re forgiven. Let’s just forget about all of this—”
“That’s not it,” he managed to get out.
“Then what is it?”
He opened his mouth and fought his words multiple times until he just let go. “I don’t want it to end.”
“What?”
“Our talk. Our interaction. You said you didn’t get to talk about these things, well, I don’t either. And it’s so much more interesting because you’re not a musician or an artist, and yet we feel things in the same way,” he closed his fist as if he could grab the moment, then threw it down. Was he conveying the message properly? “What I mean is that there’s a potential for a unique connection, for a unique moment. I want to seize it, just like I want to go to Europe and hike the Swiss Alps. Like you said I should. Just pause and do what I really want to do.”
She observed him in silence for a moment as she went over what he said.
“But why didn’t you tell me before? You could have just said it.”
His cheeks warmed up, “You seemed to imply that Hyejin chose someone to… to sleep with you. I didn’t want to scare you away, so I thought it would be best not to mention it.”
Her eyebrows puckered in confusion, “But whatever reason Hyejin uses to choose you has nothing to do with you, you could have still just said it.”
He smiled and rubbed his face, he was embarrassed but sort of happy. “You’re right, I should have.”
She wasn’t smiling. “All of this just because you don’t want to sleep with someone; just say it next time and avoid the trouble.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” she groaned mutely. “Now if you’ll excuse me—”
“No, that’s not it.”
She raised an impatient eyebrow, “I got it wrong again?”
“Yes,” he said confidently, which intrigued her.
“Explain it to me then.”
“I never said I didn’t want to sleep with you.” He didn’t know where he got the courage to say those words, but maybe it was because he didn’t want any more misunderstandings. Her eyebrows jumped. “I said I didn’t want to pressure you, I said I didn’t want our talk to end, I said I followed you because you’re enticing. I said I didn’t want to scare you away. I didn’t want you to think anything we were doing was coming from a place of 'she's just promiscuous and we'll sleep together anyway'.”
Her lips twitched as she tried to deduce something. “Then…”
“I wanted it to just be genuine,” he shrugged. “If you were interested and I was interested, then cool.”
“Are you interested?”
He smiled despite looking at the floor, “I followed you all the way here, didn’t I?”
She blinked as her features morphed into surprise and realization. “You did.”
He gave her a moment before asking, “Are you? Interested?”
She finished her line of thought in which she decided she no longer had reasons to feel embarrassed. His lie had come from a good place, and although she disliked feeling deceived, she was willing to forgive him.
“I am.”
They stared at each other with a lighter atmosphere. He felt warm and sort of happy, but he didn't want to push anything. He was happy they sorted things out. It didn’t feel awkward or anything, he just didn’t feel any need to rush it.
“That’s… that’s good,” he smiled. “Then, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You’re not coming in?” She asked almost in surprise. He was confused and she turned around to enter the room. “Only if you want to, of course.”
She dropped her handbag on a chair and turned to see him still in the same place. He had his hands on the doorframe as if stopping himself, and she just raised her eyebrows. He looked down, but dropped his hands and entered the room, closing the door softly behind him.
She smiled, “I’d offer you a drink,” she opened the mini-fridge. “But I don’t want us to get drunk.”
He was smiling too, he felt lightheaded. “That’s okay.”
“How about a coke?”
“Sounds good,” he agreed, accepting it from her.
She also opened a can and sat on the bed with her legs bent by her knees. 
"Didn't you have something to show me?" She asked, then took a sip. He just stared at her. "Photos of your trip?"
"Right!"
He pulled his phone out of his slack pocket and sat next to her. She leaned in to check his phone, but her eyes quickly moved to what risked captivating her more than any work of art he could show her. That tight dark blue suit made his shoulders look broad and firm. He was taller than her, even in heels, and he looked pristine and lean under all that haute couture. She could of course appreciate a man that could talk well and look good, but to find a devoted artist and poet under all that was… like straight out of movies or novels. 
She nodded and listened to his explanations about the art pieces and exhibitions attentively. He was light and free when speaking of such things, and she could not see an idol or famous person. He was too real, too grounded, too connected with his inner self to appear shallow and superficial. She didn’t have enough of that in her life, she was always with people who were analytical, cynical, and skeptical, much like she was. That fresh outlook on life, on a human’s soul, on feeling was so touching she wanted to interact with him just to know what it was like.
He was explaining this painting of a fallen angel and the catharsis and redemption themes in it when she got up from bed to put their empty cans away.
“What do they say? To be able to fly you have to learn how to fall?”
He eyed her from head to toe, with her back turned to him, and nodded quietly. He never thought a physics genius could be so empathetic and understanding. She had a caring soul that transpired in every single comment, even when she was rational about the themes he was trying to explain. He felt like she could be an anchor, a defined line around his countless smudges of color. He should feel contained, maybe underestimated, but instead, he felt elevated. He felt like they were mutually showing the other how they perceived life, and it was incredibly unique. He knew that could happen after a few minutes with her, but now after maybe more than one hour, he was completely certain.
“It’s getting late,” she commented and he nodded, putting his phone down.
“You’re right, we need to get some sleep for the actual wedding tomorrow,” he got up with a gentle smile.
“Would you help me with my hair?” She asked, then turned around. “They put so many pins in, could you take them off?”
“Sure,” he immediately acquiesced, throwing his phone on the bed and nearing her. But then he pressed his lips, eying the braided hairdo. “I’m afraid I might hurt you.”
“You won't, don’t worry about it. You should be able to see them pretty well.”
He was still eying her hair nervously, but it was true he could see the black hairpins among her blonde threads. So he risked it and reached for the first one very slowly. He gained more confidence as time passed and they had a few giggles when a few proved too stubborn to come out on the first try. 
Then suddenly her braid fell over her back and his smile dropped. He was incredibly close to her, he could smell her orchid perfume perfectly. Her skin looked smooth and delicate, the line of her neck was a feminine invitation. Her hair was beautiful and soft and now he didn’t have an excuse to touch it anymore.
She pulled her braid over her shoulder to open it and pass her fingers through it quickly. She glanced over her shoulder at him, “Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
Their voices were both low and warm as they eyed each other. She was wondering what she could do to give him a hint, whereas he was fighting his urges. He shouldn’t go too fast and she hadn’t expressed clear consent, so—
She suddenly grimaced and pressed her neck, and he spoke without thinking, “Are you tense?”
She nodded but immediately closed her eyes, her senses overcharged. His fingers were pressing and gently massaging her tired muscles, first on her neck, then her shoulders and spine. Her lips parted in absolute satisfaction at his dexterous hands, could he get any better?
Eventually, his fingers slowed in rhythm and stopped and she turned her head to the side, “Don’t stop.”
Her tone was low and pleading and he looked at her profile with his hands still on her delicate shoulders. She was truly beautiful, like a nymph out of a painting from the masters. He was inevitably attracted by her elegant curves, her dainty lines echoing everything in him from desire to devotion. He felt like any of those foolish men who would wish to lose themselves in the purity and nurturing embrace of such an ethereal creature, and he had to take a deep breath to catch himself.
She turned around and their foreheads connected as he swallowed. He was heartily eager to have her despite knowing that he could lose himself and disappear, just like Hylas once had in that ancient myth.
She touched his jaw gently and leaned in slowly, and he let her. Their lips touched and brushed briefly, and his breath hitched. He was immediately curious and chased her lips so he could feel her better. Her kiss was just as delicate as her and he was filled with this want to discover more, to know more, to partake, to dive in.
His hands were supporting her neck and jaw when she pulled away just enough to speak. “Are you comfortable continuing this?”
He almost chuckled; he was sensible enough to just smile, “Yes.” His tone was sure. “Are you?”
Her hands moved over his shoulders, “Oh yes. Yes.”
She leaned to capture his lips again and he smiled through their kiss, so incredibly happy that he would have the opportunity to touch her, to kiss her. 
He of course wanted more than that and as their kiss built up, he started losing his grip. Their kisses were sloppy as their tongues played, his body was spiking with heat at her hands exploring his chest and pulling his blazer off to firmly squeeze his shoulders. His hands which had been respectfully on her waist became curious and decided to palm her curves. Those sensual curves that the dress failed to express vividly enough, thankfully. 
She reached for his belt and he swallowed, trying to catch his breath as she kissed his cheek. That was happening, he thought. He looked at her, whose brown eyes were shining with desire while she breathed heavily. He had one second to decide before—
Her hand entered his pants and he closed his eyes, feeling her explore his erection. She was observing his reaction; she found the right angle and pulled his hard-on out. He was utterly absorbed in the sensation of her gripping him firmly and she wondered for a split second if it was genuine. He looked like a thirsty man who had just found an oasis, and she would think this odd if he was a famous idol that millions of people desired.
His hands pushed her to sit on the bed gently. He kneeled on the bed by her side and she eyed him. That man was the reincarnation of Adonis, there was no doubt in her mind about it.
“Can I touch you?”
Her features softened, “You have to touch me.”
His hands grabbed her lilac dress that covered her legs and pulled it up anxiously. She helped him do it all the way to her waist before she leaned back with him half over her. He reached her lips as his hands traced her legs, and the higher he went the more she started losing grip. Still, before he could touch her, she reached for his erection again to pump him gently. He grunted quietly and she smiled slyly, incredibly proud that she could make him sound like that.
Quickly a sigh was escaping her lips when his fingers reached her center over her panties. There was no doubt in her mind that he’d be able to get that and more out of her.
“You’re so warm,” he whispered against her lips, descending then to her neck. 
Her hand on his erection was making it hard to process, but his fingers quickly pulled her panties aside to feel her and damn. She was so wet and ready that his cock twitched. She moaned quietly with his touch exploring her folds and core, and he felt it in her neck as he kissed it. She would surely make the most beautiful music for him if he played her correctly, and he intended to.
His fingers reached her clit to rub it gently and she gasped, completely frozen by it. He pulled away enough to observe her expression with agape lips, squinted eyes, and knitted eyebrows.
“Like that?” He asked, his voice tense.
She looked up at him, an expression of pleasure so sensual he had a hard time thinking. 
“Yeah,” she sighed and restarted moving her hand. 
His fingers were too fucking good, or maybe she was just that turned on. Her core was clenching around nothing despite the simple gesture of his digits, but she knew it was more than that. He was an attractive and attentive man observing her through desirous but respectful eyes. Like she was worthy of his praise, attention, and care, and that adoration was really spiking it up for her.
So she tried making it last by focusing on her hand on his erection. It had been a while since she had last done that, but what mattered was reading his cues. He preferred a firm grip instead of light, he preferred the tip instead of broad all-encompassing movements, and he preferred slower and intense movements rather than fast and light. Soon he grunted and she smiled yet again.
“That feels very good,” he managed to get out with closed eyes.
“I’m glad,” she whispered.
They had reached a balance and they could see it in each other’s eyes. So when her lips curved in a playful smile, so did his.
Then he grunted mutely at the view of his hand between her legs. He was imagining what she would feel like, but there was nothing better than finding out. His fingers slipped in and she moaned.
“You’re so tight and warm,” his voice strained at the thought of replacing his fingers with his twitching cock.
She was pulsating around his fingers, “Imagine how comfortable you’d be… inside me.”
He looked at her, and she was already eying him back. Her expression tensed when he reached his thumb over her clit, her jaw clenched. She couldn’t find it in herself to be annoyed, every single touch of his felt better than the one before and she would melt for him every time he would like her too. 
Suddenly he looked down at her hand on his dick with thin lips. “Do we have condoms?”
She tried thinking rationally for a second, then cursed under her breath. “I don’t.”
She felt irritation spring from deep inside her chest, that was very stupid of her. She couldn’t have known she would meet someone interesting and get involved with him, but fuck should she be better prepared just in case she did.
She took a deep breath, “Don’t worry about it right now, we can have fun in other ways.” She smiled playfully to ease him, but quickly his fingers reached somewhere deep inside her that stole her breath. “Is that okay?”
“That’s okay…”
He was sad he wouldn’t be able to feel her all the way as he intended, but that was for the best. He was already out of his mind, excited that all of that was happening anyway.
He hardened his movements and leaned on her neck, “I want to know what you sound like.”
She tried repressing a moan, his rough movements on her were making it very challenging. “If you keep doing that you’ll find out soon enough.”
He smirked at her teasing and decided to go rougher, though not faster. He instantly knew he made the right choice because her hand on him became sloppy as if forgotten, and her legs started spreading as if to give him more space. He prioritized his thumb over her clit in wide rough circles and her waist started bucking. He pulled away to look at her and surely enough she was close to falling apart. 
She looked at him through puckered eyebrows almost pleadingly and he licked his lips, wishing for nothing but the moment when it would happen. Suddenly she gasped and arched her back, then a roll of moans echoed from deep inside her throat. He fucked her with his fingers, completely absorbed by the sensual sounds her beautiful self was producing, and when she calmed down, he couldn’t contain his pride. He made her fall apart, he played her correctly and created that music through her. He felt honored and happy and extremely turned on, and she knew it because she immediately tightened her grip on his dick and hastened the movements.
“Did you like it? How I sound when I come?”
He opened his eyes which had closed momentarily to look at her pink cheeks and shiny eyes. She looked satisfied and hungry at the same time. His lips pulled — nymph was the right word for her.
“Definitely, yes,” he groaned quietly.
“I know you did,” she smiled and looked down. He was covered with precum, it was the perfect lube for her hand. “Have you wondered what I taste like?”
He blinked, his brain freezing for a second, and then he moved the hand covered in her slick still in her core. He could find out.
But she quickly stopped him, “No.” His hand stopped, though his mouth was open and waiting. “Not yet, you can find out after.”
“After?”
“After.”
Then she reached for his glistening hand and guided it to her mouth. She licked his wet fingers and sucked on them all while she kept pumping him. 
He groaned. “Is it good?” He asked, completely beside himself.
She chuckled, “You’ll find out in a minute.”
“I will?”
She smiled teasingly, still playing with his fingers and her tongue. “If I’m lucky.”
He groaned through a smile; he wanted to lick her and find out. He wanted to discover everything tonight.
“Where do I come?”
She smiled, “Make my hands messy.”
He looked down at her hands on him, on his tip and base working on him perfectly, then at her body, her lean legs, female curves, the line of her chest in between her modest cleavage, and then at his hand on her chin, now fully cleaned as she looked at him with hunger. He felt a prickle of embarrassment, she was looking at him making faces, but she looked absolutely invested. He dared think she was really into him, that a beautiful nymph like her would look at him twice and be interested in his pleasure, and that pushed him over. The thought of being with her and her wanting to be with him was enough to make him grunt deeply and pop. He grabbed her hands around him so he could slide in them pleasurably as his warm cum collected there and dripped on the sheets. 
When he finished, he took a deep breath with his eyes closed. He didn’t see her smile, nor was he bothered when she got up and went to wash her hands in the bathroom, he just sighed. That felt good, being there was good. He craved that satisfaction though he very rarely attained it. He sighed again.
She came back and laid on the bed again, prompting him to do the same. Their breaths were normal now, but whereas he was still processing, she was smiling playfully.
“Not having condoms sucks,” she puffed and he nodded. “But we can still have fun.”
He adjusted the pillow under him, wanting so much for that to be so when he suddenly gasped.
He got up and reached for his wallet in his blazer on the floor, and opened it. It took some effort, but very safely hidden was a wrapper that he waved victoriously. 
She grinned, “Good job! That’s a nice party trick.”
He smiled in embarrassment, “I didn’t even remember about it, it’s been there since—” His voice died when he turned the wrapper around, and then he closed his eyes.
“What?” She asked, curious. She sat up and took it from him since he wasn’t reacting, and when she saw it, she fell on the bed and burst out laughing. “Oh my god, I can’t!”
He was blushing in embarrassment, “It’s really been there for years, I don’t even remember when I put it there…”
She was still laughing, “Clearly! I mean, how long do condoms stay good? Five years?”
He tried taking it from her by leaning on her, “Well, we don’t have to use it, forget I—”
She hid it between her hand and her chest and raised her eyebrows, “Are you joking? Using an expired one is better than nothing, we’re using it.” Her voice was so firm he stopped in his tracks. “Unless you don’t want to, of course.”
“I want to,” he breathed immediately, eying her under him. He didn’t even realize he was shamelessly admitting to wanting her that badly, he was just enamored by the sight of her smiling teasingly.
“Then we have that to look forward to,” she smiled, putting it aside on the bed before raising her hands to feel his torso through his shirt. “How tired are you?”
“Not tired,” he murmured.
She grinned and her hands reached his back, “How fast do you recover?”
His cheeks warmed up wildly, “I… it depends…”
“Tonight. How much can I hope to have from you?”
Her hands on him mixed with her words were making him hot and unable to think. “I don’t know, it’s been a while since I… needed to perform like that.”
Her smile softened, “Let's find out together then. For now… I want to strip you.” His eyes roamed down her lilac dress for a second before trailing back up to find her tongue between her teeth. “Is that okay?”
“Yes.” 
She sat up, forcing him to move out of the way. Every yes of his sounded like a sigh, almost like happiness or relief for her having taken the initiative. She had no problems with that, but she would love it if he would relax. Maybe he would as they got comfortable.
Being naked always meant a significant amount of vulnerability and they were both aware of that. They kissed slowly while comfortably sitting in bed as they helped each other take off each piece of clothing at their own rhythm. He took most of his off first, starting with his waistcoat, shirt, inner tee shirt, then his slacks but not without getting rid of his shoes and socks first. She giggled when he made his shoes flip in the air with how fast he tried taking them off, and he smiled at her. He laid back down in bed and traced her uncovered legs. She still had her dress on and he pecked her cheek almost reverently before asking, “Where’s the zipper?”
She smiled, he was so cute. “On the back.”
She got up from the bed and turned her back so he could take care of pulling the zipper all the way down. He traced her back skin softly as he guided the strips to fall from her shoulders, then contoured the bands of her bra.
“Can I take it off?”
“I was hoping you would.”
He unhooked the hook quickly and traced her skin again slowly, this time leaning in to nuzzle it softly as he pulled everything off. She felt goosebumps all over, a wave of warmth invading her as she forgot how to breathe. He was so delicate and reverent that she felt like the most precious person he ever touched, and she was into that. It turned her on like crazy to be treated adoringly and he was hitting all the right keys.
She turned to him so he could push her strapless bra off and fully lay her bare, and he didn’t disappoint. He gently pulled it off along with the dress that fell to the floor, and his eyes roamed her body hungrily. She was so beautiful and elegant that he was totally hypnotized. 
He didn’t ask for permission and just dove for her chest, lowering himself to reach those wonderful perky nipples and take one in his mouth and another in his hand. He truly didn’t know how long his body would take to react or how he would perform, but he was happy that just seeing her naked immediately pumped him up. He sat on the bed and pulled her by the waist to continue the ministrations of his tongue, lips, and teeth on her chest while she moaned breathlessly and petted his hair. His hands lowered to the small of her back, then to her ass and he squeezed, feeling his hard dick throb inside his trunks. That was the finest offering he could ever have had and he wanted it.
“You’re so beautiful,” he told her in between switching nipples in his mouth, with wet traces and suckling sounds. His hands squeezed her asscheeks again, making her moan. “So beautiful. I need to have you,” he admitted, tracing his hands to pull her panties down.
His lips descended to her stomach before his hands pulled her to support her knees on either side of him. Suddenly, though, he grabbed her by the waist and lifted her so he could lay her in bed under him. She giggled when her hair splayed over the bed and she looked down at him.
“It looks like you’re ready again,” she pointed out.
He didn’t need to look at the tent in his trunks. “I am, but I want to taste you first.”
Her lips pulled in amusement as he leaned to trail down her body with kisses, focusing on her mound and inner thighs to her delight. She was trembling involuntarily when his lips brushed hers and she squirmed in both want and shyness. He licked her across her slit, taking in her flavor, then he chuckled, unsurprised.
“Of course, you’d be delicious too,” he muttered before getting down to business.
Angie moaned breathlessly and more and more as his tongue circled her clit. Her eyes were closed as she gripped the sheets, so completely focused on what he was doing. She cursed herself for having had one orgasm already because that would make it harder right now for him. He didn’t look like he wanted to give up, but she didn’t want to tire him.
“You’re so sexy,” he still encouraged her, which invariably kept on melting her. “Make that sound again,” he asked as he suckled on her clit. 
She did the sound he wanted but gritted her teeth. She was needy. “I want you,” she asked, as soon as she could breathe.
He smiled with glistening lips as he used two fingers to feel her tightness. “That’s a good idea… I was hoping to make you come first, though…”
God, he was so freaking adorable she couldn’t handle it. “Give me a second.”
She reached to stop his hand and gently move him away, and he let her. She got up and reached for something in her bag — a black cloth bag. She grabbed it and then threw it on the bed.
“What’s this?” Namjoon reached to grab it and immediately figured it out. “Oh, I see.”
She hopped on the bed next to him. “Don’t take this the wrong way,” she pleaded, suddenly worried. He looked let down despite his smile. “You’ll get me there, but since I already had an orgasm, you’ll probably lose the ability to move your jaw and you might need it tomorrow.” He chuckled at the way she put it and she felt confident in touching him again. “You were doing it wonderfully though,” she smiled, looking down. “And I’m more than happy to return the favor.”
He pressed his lips, “That’s— Only if you want to, you don’t have to.”
She smiled and reached for the vibrator, “You in my mouth will be the exact thing to make me come. So will you?”
“What do you mean?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Would you… let me blow you while I pleasure myself?” He raised his eyebrows further in surprise. “I mean, you can of course control the toy if you want, I just mean… that would turn me on and push me to come.”
“I can use my fingers,” he seemed to think out loud.
She tilted her head, “You can if you think you can focus on two things at once.”
“Fair point,” he chuckled again. “Multitasking is not my thing.”
She bit her lip, “Actually, if you would be into it, you could fuck my mouth.” His mouth opened. “I mean, you know, only if you’re into that.”
“I’m into that, I…” he rubbed his face to clear out his surprise. “You just keep on surprising me.”
“In a bad way?” She asked, fearful.
“No, in a good way.” He reached for her hand, “We’re actually talking about what we want and expect before doing anything, which is great.”
She smiled, “I agree. It’s… very easy to talk to you, in fact.” She looked at their hands, then at the tent in his trunks. “And it doesn’t kill your mood, which is so refreshing,” she admitted. “I love it when I can communicate what I want and like without feeling like everything is ruined.”
He chuckled, “You almost got me… but you want to include me, so that’s okay.”
“What do you mean? Almost killed your mood?”
“Yeah…” He shrugged, “When the girl you’re with seems to prefer a toy to you, I mean…”
“Wow, are you crazy?” She jumped to her knees. “I’m freaking done with toys, so done,” her tone was laced with exasperation and he smirked. She was getting on his lap and he supported her waist to sit there. “I’m one hundred percent into you,” she underlined her words softly, lacing them with want. 
Now straddling his lap, they were close and personal. She grabbed his erection through the cloth to position it so it would rub on her nicely as she moved her hips. She had to lean back and support herself on her other hand, making her a sinful view. 
He was supporting her waist while eating her with his eyes and drinking her soft moans before she sat back up. He then dove on her chest again, ravishing the flesh in range of his mouth while she moved her waist to grind his cock so slowly and gently, but enough to help him draw those lustful moans out of her. 
She gripped his hair, “Did you feel how wet I was?” He hummed while flicking his tongue on her nipple. “Then you know how much you turn me on.”
The more she moved her hips, the crazier she became with the thought of that hard cock inside her. His mouth on her chest was not making it easier.
“Fuck, I want to ride you.”
He hummed, “You want a lot of things.”
She giggled, “I do, it’s all your fault.” She bit her lip strongly and then decided to push him to lay back on the bed with her over him. “Take some responsibility, Namjoon.”
He smiled, “I will. Tell me what you want.”
She was lying completely on him and straddling his cock now felt even better. She moaned over his lips, “Stay like that and let me ride you until I come on your cock.”
He groped her hips to help her move, “That sounds doable.”
She grinned, then reached for the condom. “I hope you can resist because it’s up to you how much we can get done.”
He chuckled, “You’re giving me too much responsibility.”
“I know, I’ll try my best to make it easy for you,” she sassily said, getting off him. He removed his trunks so she could cover him with the condom. “Feel free to tell me if I feel so good you’ll burst,” she added with a sly smile, before moving onto his lap again.
“You’re very confident,” he teased, supporting her on top of him again.
She leaned on him and aimed his cock inside her, “Oh, I am.” She made it a point to take him in slowly and in stages all while nuzzling his nose and seeing his reactions. His lips were agape and eyes closed, and with every inch, his nails sank on her hips. “How long has it been since you felt a tight cunt around you?” He was trying not to groan and it rilled her up. “All dripping just waiting for you to force yourself in?” Her voice was taunting, but laced with lust. “When was the last time you had a woman like me riding your hard cock?”
He bottomed out and she could feel him twitching inside her, which had her taking deep breaths to stay calm. The fact that she was the person getting to fuck him egged her on. That sexy, interesting, and sensible guy was a treasure that she was more than willing to have.
“I can’t recall,” he admitted, panting. “But I certainly never had one with a mouth as sassy as yours.”
She giggled as he smiled. She nuzzled his nose, “I gave you a chance to fuck this sassy mouth.”
“It’s still in my plans,” he admitted, finally looking at her.
“Perfect. Now let me milk you right,” she whispered sensually before adjusting her angle to move.
He was so deep inside her that by controlling her hips reaching an orgasm would be a piece of cake. That dirty talk with him had totally turned her on and him stretching her where it counted was taking her there.
“You feel so good,” he let out, still gripping her hips as if ready to stop her at any moment.
“I know,” she cooed, kissing his cheek. “How lucky are you that I’m riding you right now?”
“Very lucky,” he breathed.
“Very fucking lucky indeed,” she groaned, biting his cheek softly. “Will you give me your cum?”
“Oh yes.”
She cursed, grinding her clit in an angle that would get her there before she fell apart in moans over his mouth. He focused on feeling her around him, taking deep breaths to take in that sensation without letting it unfocus him. Then he hugged her body and kissed her when she searched for his lips. She was blushing and glowing and it filled him with pride to see her smile.
“See how into you I am?”
He chuckled and stayed calmly in place, letting her recover from her high.
“How much would you like to fuck me right now?” She was pecking his jaw and eying him with mischief.
“A lot,” he admitted, nodding his head in confirmation.
“I do deserve it after riding you so well, no?” She nibbled on his neck and he stretched while grabbing her asscheeks.
“Oh yes, absolutely.” He couldn’t stop smiling as if he had hit a jackpot.
She bit his earlobe before sitting up and getting off him. They both noticed how absolutely covered in slick he was, and then she got all fours.
“Show me how much I deserve it,” she asked sensually, moving her blonde hair over her shoulder. He sat up and touched her hanging boobs. “Hmm, show me how much you appreciate being able to fuck me.”
He leaned to kiss her as he groped her breasts, making her puff in between their kisses, then he moved to get behind her. He groped her asscheeks, spreading them for him, and licked his lips. She looked so fucking good, like a temptation, and he wanted to bury himself balls deep.
He aimed his cock at her core and slid in quickly, grunting with the sensation. She was so tight it caused an electric wave to go up and down his spine. He moved his hips a few times and shuddered, trying to collect himself.
“Are you ready to admit I was right?”
Her tone was mocking, but he only grunted, “I can admit that you deserve a nice pounding.”
She chuckled at the way his voice was tense and his nails sank on her hips. “If you want to spank me, you can.”
He leaned in and kissed her back with a smile on his lips, “Aren’t you full of surprises?”
“Aren’t you very lucky?” He smacked her ass, making a thin moan escape her throat. “Does it change anything?” He eyed her as he fucked her slowly. “Does it change the fact that you’re dying to fuck my tight cunt?” He smacked her again and she giggled right after a moan. “I’d love for you to mark me, don’t be afraid.”
“I don’t get you… You want to be worshiped, but you also want to be used?” He cleaned the sweat off his brow. He needed to understand to be able to decide on how to go about it.
“You might use me, but it had to be me.” She was biting her lips at the pleasure shooting from his pounding cock. “You might do whatever you want to me, but the point is that you want this pussy. Only I will make you feel this way. It will always be a form of worship.”
“You do feel very good…” he admitted, then slapped her ass again. “You take my cock very well.”
She moaned between words, “Your cock is so good… I’m fucking happy I didn’t miss out on this.”
He chuckled and leaned forward to grab her tits, fucking her so deep that her moans got to a higher pitch.
“Fuck, you’re deep.”
He groaned, “You're taking me so well…”
Too well, in fact, and he straightened back up and calmed his rhythm. 
She giggled, “Too much?” He struck her asscheek so hard it echoed in the room, yet she giggled. “You’re so my type I can’t control it, I’m sorry.”
He passed his fingers over her asscheeks, “I’m your type, huh?”
She wiggled her ass as if she wanted him to move his fingers. “Cute, attentive, sexy, and smart.” He wasn’t sure where, so he moved his fingers away, but she whined. “No, touch me. You can use me, Namjoon. I talk big but I want you to fuck me so bad,” she whined, moving her hips against his for him to fuck her deeper.
He was tempted to, but first, he slid his fingers between her asscheeks, and she trembled. She incentivized him with her bucked movements until he rubbed her asshole, making her moan deeper.
“You like that?”
She moaned again and he decided to rub it at the same rhythm he fucked her. Her asshole started twitching, and when it did he felt it around his cock too. She was getting tighter and wetter and he was completely up to his limit.
“Am I milking you right?” She asked in a breathy voice.
“Yeah, I’m close. I’ll stop playing with you and fuck you now, okay?”
He didn’t see the way she paused and blinked her eyes, confused. “Wh—?”
He positioned himself better behind her and unleashed his energy. He didn’t care how or what he was doing, as long as his cock was ramming right into her every time and hitting deep. Her thin moans were uncontrollable and music to his ears. She wanted to milk him, she deserved a good fucking, and he was going to give it to her.
Her face landed on the pillow as she started losing grip and he angled deeper. She could not think with the fast pace he was entering her, and all the sloppy sounds and slaps were just the icing on top. She never got to shut her brain off, but just there that’s exactly what happened and it was bliss. Her hand darted to her clit, which was covered in her juices, and she moaned desperately for her release. She wasn't planning on it, but she was beyond being organized and structured; that kind of pleasure was not premeditated or controlled, it was imposed.
He leaned on her and was talking to her but she couldn’t really register. 
“Yeah?” She finally caught him saying. “You want it? Come for me. Come on my cock with me.”
Her brain lit up like a firework popping and she moaned in a frenzy, cumming so hard he had to hold her hips in place or she would have fallen apart away from him. Her pleasure rippled and rippled until she was left a void drooling mess and it was… odd. Satisfyingly so.
He got off her and laid next to her, pulling her to fall to the sheets by his side gently. “Are you okay?” He asked with a hint of concern as he pulled her hair out of her face.
She was still panting with her mouth open, and she blinked. It took her a moment to react.
“What… What the hell was that?”
“What?” 
“You— how did you—?” She opened and closed her eyes. “I’m so mind-blown right now.”
He grinned happily as they tangled their legs together. “In a good way, right?”
She was still shocked, “You— You’re good. My god, are you fucking good. That had never happened to me before.”
“What?”
“My brain shutting down like that,” she shrugged, hugging herself in bewilderment.
He scooted closer and hugged her, “It was good then.”
“It was awesome, it’s what it was.”
Her tone was so firm he just smiled, “I’m happy.”
She reached to trace his jaw with her hand. “You really are something.”
He tapped their foreheads and looked deeply into her eyes. “So are you.”
They were left sweating and calming down, but eventually, the lethargy became too much. As if on automatic pilot, she got up to pee and he took care of the condom and did the same. In minutes they both threw themselves in bed and snuggled together to sleep relaxedly.
Despite her sluggishness, Angie eventually woke up and looked around, confused. She thought it was the jetlag still messing with her after three days. She reached for her phone: 5h53. She sighed deeply and put her phone away, she could still sleep.
Then someone moved behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist, and she closed her eyes. For a split second she thought she had dreamed of him, but that fresh, citrus, and woody scent reminded her that it was all real. She turned, still under his arm, and he leaned to unite their foreheads, still in his sleep. She looked at him with a small smile, feeling so relaxed. She didn’t know how he managed to make her like that but it was certainly something to be praised.
She closed her eyes, ready to fall back asleep, when his nose started nuzzling hers softly. She sighed and hugged him closer — she was awake, and they could do whatever he wanted. His lips fell on hers gently and she smiled at his delicateness and gentlemanly actions. They kissed slowly and softly for a while before she moved her hand to trail his torso. She was getting hotter and she felt like there was still so much of him she hadn't explored.
He seemed to get hot as well and reach for her to come closer, taking equal opportunity to touch her. She squeezed his shoulder in incentive for him to do as he pleased and couldn’t contain the moans as he did. He felt and groped her curves firmly, and when she evaded his mouth so she could breathe out a moan, he quickly caught her neck skin in between his teeth. She scratched his skin and grazed his scalp in approval and rolled with him immediately once he got on top of her.
His kisses were more demanding, but she was completely on the same wavelength. She wanted him to take her, to touch her, and handle her however he saw fit. He had earned that.
He trailed down her neck and quickly made his stop on her chest. His tongue and mouth were warm and wet and she squirmed with want, opening her legs instantly. He bit her once, twice and it only vexed her more; she was already so ready for his touch.
His fingers brushed her folds before searching for her wetness and she stopped breathing, completely focused on what was going to happen next. He was eying her attentively, feeling that shift on her chest. He removed his fingers, which made her raise an eyebrow, but his intentions immediately became clear. He gave her one last kiss before moving down so that his mouth could now reach her mound, and she trembled.
His lips brushed hers softly and increasingly with more pressure until his tongue opened her up and started licking her. She gasped for air with the way he seemed to want to lick her slit clean, knowing perfectly well that was the way to just make her even wetter. His hands grabbed her hips to stay in place when his mouth moved over her clit and he was not gentle. She writhed under him with whiny moans, she could feel his smile on her as he licked her clit deliciously.
She couldn’t stop squirming and trying to escape it while simultaneously being annoyed whenever he lost contact with her bud. She started moving her hips and her moans dragged.
“Use your lips,” she pleaded, and the sensation became less wet but firmer. “Yeah, like that.”
She was unaware of his eyes on her seeing her oscillate with her pleasure hungrily. He was trying to keep a steady pace for her, but she was making it hard.
Then she suddenly propped on her elbows, “Let me ride your mouth.”
He raised his eyebrows and gave her one last kiss. She seemed to realize what she had just said while he licked his lips and sat up.
She was blushing hard, “I mean if you’re okay with that.”
He was already lying down, pushing the pillow away. “I’m more than okay with that, come here.”
She took the hand he was offering and got on her knees. She then passed a leg over him so she would sit on his belly. She was trying her hardest not to just jump on his glistening mouth, out of respect, but he incentivized her by pushing the small of her back in his direction. That along with his hand still holding hers for support just pushed her to raise and sit where she wanted to with a deep sigh.
She cursed, “Tap me if you need me to stop, okay?”
His hands felt her hips firmly before he moved so his lips could disappear under her and she gasped. He felt too fucking good, she would come in a literal minute if he kept—
She sucked in a moany breath and started bucking her hips as gently as she could. He was a fucking sin with the way he managed to suckle on her clit every time it passed his mouth, just to escape it seconds later. And yet every time she did her circular hip movement, he was right there waiting, pressing her hips down so that the rub would be as intense as possible. She was too turned on, too far off, so when his nails sank into her skin to keep her close, she only needed a few seconds to fall apart.
He licked her and mouthed her roughly as she came, keeping her core as close to his mouth as possible. She had to whine because of the overstimulation, and only then did he let go. She stumbled back, completely alienated on how to control her own body, but he had her. He quickly reached to support her back so she wouldn’t just fall and instead helped her sit back on his lap graciously. 
He sat up and brushed her hair away from her red hot face, “You make the most beautiful sounds.”
She opened her glistening eyes to him and chortled, “You make me do them.”
He grinned happily, “I do.”
She was still recovering from the hastened heartbeat in her chest, but she reached to kiss him nonetheless. His mouth tasted of her and it burned her. She bit his lip, clenching around nothing. She shouldn’t feel possessive, but she couldn’t help it.
“Remember my sassy mouth?”
He cupped her neck and kissed the corner of her mouth, “I do.”
“I don’t think I can articulate much yet, but how about doing what you planned?”
He chuckled at the hint of neediness in her voice. “You mean you blowing me while you pleasure yourself?”
“Or you fucking my mouth, whichever you prefer,” she sighed, nuzzling his nose.
He brushed his nose back on hers and hummed for a moment.
“We can start with you and see how you feel.”
She pecked his lips and immediately moved away. She grabbed a pillow and threw it on the floor before kneeling on it, then she tapped the edge of the bed.
“Come here.”
He moved to sit there with his legs around her and she drew closer, leaning down to kiss his crotch and belly before nuzzling her way down to his balls. 
He grabbed her hair out of the way without any pressure whatsoever and just stayed with his mouth agape looking at the way she was licking and nibbling his balls gently. She was soft and mindful of hurting him, but quick and sloppy as if she was hungry and it filled him with anticipation. 
By the time she licked up his shaft, she was already drooling and she looked up to see him, to make sure he knew that. She wanted that, she wanted to taste him, to drive him wild into coming and giving everything he had.
She took his tip in and remembered well how he liked pressure there more than speed, and she got to it immediately. She sucked hard on his head while she bobbed her head in short movements, making her best to keep that pressure constant. The way he groaned and tightened his grip around her hair melted her and gave her even more energy. His girth was wide enough that her jaw would hurt for sure after the fact, but that would not be the thing to make her stop.
She added her tongue to the mix, flicking it and searching for the place that made him moan the hardest while she suckled on him.
She must have done something right because his taste hit her taste buds and she moaned. He tasted sweet and delicate and she guessed then that if she wanted the full taste she had to go for it. She was drooling with how much she wanted it and she didn’t realize how much she was pushing him until he groaned loudly and put one hand on her neck to gently guide her out.
She raised her head with a pop of her lips, keeping his hard dick pointing at her with her hands. Its glistening reddened tip was tempting her and she couldn’t look away.
“That was close,” he mumbled, and she finally looked up.
He was panting and he reached to wipe the thin coat of sweat off his brow. He looked down at her and she could only curve her lips in amusement.
“Why did you stop me? I was having a blast.”
She sounded playful and he chuckled, “Well, you never told me where to come. Plus,” he moved away from her to reach for something on the bedside table. “You wanted to pleasure yourself.”
She lowered her eyes to his open hand and saw her vibrator.
She grimaced in disbelief, “You stopped our fun for that?”
“I want you to feel good,” he smiled sheepishly.
Her eyebrows jumped, “How do you think I’ve been feeling so far?!”
He grinned with a hint of shyness, and pride, and she bit her lip down hard so she wouldn’t bite him.
“You said me in your mouth was the thing to make you come… and I don’t want to steal that opportunity from you.”
Her chin dropped in shock, then she shook her head. “You’re unbelievable. We’re taking care of you right now and you’re still worried about me?” She reached suddenly for his lips and he supported her through their kiss with gentleness. “You can’t be real,” she whispered, nuzzling his nose before going back down on her knees. “You just can’t be.”
He didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t give him the time to think of something.
“You should come in my mouth,” she told him, grabbing the egg-shaped vibrator. “I need to know how you taste. You can get up and fuck me whenever you want, just please don’t do it too harshly because I gag easily.” She spread her legs a bit so she could accommodate the vibrator. “And if I start coming, do not stop. In fact, I might get sloppy, so take matters into your own hands.” She raised an eyebrow, “Did I forget something?”
“No, ma'am.”
He was smiling in a tease and she pursed her lips before looking down. His cock twitched under her gaze and she looked back up. He didn’t need to ask for attention, so she guessed it was involuntary, which made it even hotter.
She sighed as she took him inside her mouth again and she made sure to take him all the way in comfortably a few times to show him where he could go. He didn’t fit completely in, so despite his moans she hoped he had paid attention.
Only then did she turn on the vibrator and hummed instantly. She was not going to last, she was certain. She was immensely turned on, any nudge in the right direction was enough.
She bucked her hips on the toy and used that same rhythm in her mouth. It was harder to stay focused and she started moaning quickly out of the sheer pleasure shooting through her. He had such a good fucking cock that fit in her mouth perfectly and would spray her full soon. He couldn’t help himself, she would blow him just right until he would pop. He knew deep down that he had no choice. He wanted to come for her, to fill her up, he was helpless. If she wanted it, he had to give it to her, and if he tried holding back, she would blow him and ride him until he blew.
Thoughts like those drove her insane, and his dick in her mouth was exactly what brought to life all of her fantasies. In minutes her whines gained a pitch and he should know by now that meant she was right on the verge of her orgasm. Her hand on his base lost grip, and her lips became less taut, allowing for her drool to drip down his shaft, and he knew what to do.
He got up and she moved with him, allowing him to grab her head and gain complete reign over everything. She let him do it and in seconds her orgasm invaded her, making her moan deeply. And he grunted with those sounds because he could reach her throat that much easier, interrupting them with every thrust. It was so fucking hot that he had no problems in just leaping through it as soon as he could confidently say her orgasm was done.
Then she hummed as his cum started dripping on her mouth and her lips became taut again. She sucked him neatly and swallowed him dry as he did his best efforts to contain his hips jerking. He was still holding her hair and head, and her mouth felt so wet and tight he had to take a deep breath, mastering himself until the end.
He sighed as the pleasure dissipated gently, then let her head go. She pulled out and looked up at him with a sly smile.
“You… are fucking great.”
He broke down laughing quietly and she did the same, holding his hands to get up and stand tall. He immediately supported her lower back and neck and drew her in for a kiss. His tongue licked hers and danced with hers, not bothered in the slightest by his own taste. 
He pecked her nose and she sighed. “I could sleep a bit more.”
He smiled, “Me too.”
He let her go just enough for the both of them to get under the sheets again and snuggled her when she came closer, hiding her face on his chest.
They drifted off asleep almost instantly, and so it felt like in the same breath they woke up. They were startled by the knocking loud sounds on the door and she pulled away to blink at him in bewilderment. He had a quizzical eyebrow raised and she had her brow creased, completely dumbfounded.
A woman started yelling in Korean and Angie’s expression became almost comical as she sat up, trying but unable to understand a single word. Namjoon sat up too.
“Late! Late!”
“I’m coming! One minute!” Angie finally yelled, and then it quieted down. It had worked, whoever it was left. “What the—”
“She says you’re late, the bride is asking for you.”
She turned to him, then blinked — of course he understood that. She frowned and searched for her phone, “We just drifted off a minute ago, how—”
She gasped and jumped off the bed in two seconds. She had missed calls, and Hyejin had sent her a roll of messages. She played the last audio.
“Angie! Where are you?! I don’t know if I should be concerned or angry, should I call the police?! I need my bridesmaid, I’m almost done and you’re not here! I’m going to cry, please don’t disappear on my wedding day!”
“Shit, shit, shit.”
Indeed it was almost ten in the morning. She turned to Namjoon, who was now getting up with his phone in hand.
“They’re looking for me too.”
“How the heck did my alarm not ring?” Angie groaned.
“It doesn’t matter,” he reminded her, holding her arms. “I’ll leave you to get ready and go and do the same.” She shuddered and nodded. He was so fucking sexy just calming her down like that and focusing her on what mattered. “Will I… see you later?”
She smirked, “If Hyejin doesn’t kill me or kick me out, yes.”
He smiled and turned to search for his clothes and put them on. She grabbed her phone and tapped to record an audio.
“I’m so sorry, Hyejin, my alarm didn’t go off. I’m going to shower and I’ll be there in ten minutes. Stay calm, I love you.”
She sent it quickly and turned to the man in her bedroom. She felt butterflies in her stomach and swallowed them. She probably shouldn’t, she was an adult and she knew how those things went. Still, he wasn’t out of the room yet and she was too tempted. 
So while he bent over to put his shoes on, she walked up to him and held his jaw for him to rise back up. She kissed him softly and he stood up by himself, supporting her arms as he did.
Then she pulled back with a small smile. “I’ll see you soon.”
Namjoon nodded and saw her disappear into the bathroom. He shook his head to get the image of her lean back and perky ass out of his mind and turned to leave. Her shower started just before he closed the door behind him.
He rushed down the corridor and used the stairs to go up to his room. He was super fast and ignored the people in the corridor, even though the chances that they were any of the guys were high. He needed to get ready quickly, he also didn’t want to stress Hyejin or miss anything. It was a special day for her and he definitely wanted to be there, they were close friends.
He showered and got ready as fast as he could. He was putting on his gray blazer when someone knocked hastily on his bedroom door and he ran to open it.
On the other side, Jin had wide shocked eyes. In fact, six pairs of eyes were gawking at him.
“Hi guys—”
“He’s here!” Jin yelled, despite the others being equally aware.
“He wasn't here before,” Hoseok frowned, confused.
“Where were you?!” Jimin asked with a scoff.
“Were you hiding somewhere hyung?” Taehyung asked.
They were barging in the room as if searching for something and he had no chances to say anything.
“Where would he hide?” Yoongi whined, with a puff. “Let’s just go, the wedding is in thirty minutes.”
“Yeah, I want to catch breakfast,” Jungkook rubbed his hands together.
“We just had breakfast,” Hoseok raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, right, you missed breakfast,” Jin turned to Namjoon and pointed it out with a shrug.
“Well, you know, second breakfast,” Jungkook said slowly.
“What are you, a hobbit?” Jimin laughed coming from the bathroom with Taehyung. Were they looking for something?
“No, but these things always drag on,” Jungkook pouted.
“That’s very true,” Jin agreed. "We're going to be hungry."
“We’re going to be late,” Yoongi groaned, rubbing his eyes.
“Where were you anyway, hyung?” Jimin asked, seemingly confident he couldn’t find anything suspicious in his room.
“What do you mean where…” Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck while heading for the door. “Let’s g—”
“Why is your bed still made?”
The room quieted down and everyone turned to look at Taehyung, who was standing right beside the bed eying it suspiciously. They all could see in an instant that he was correct, his bed was perfectly made.
Namjoon scoffed, “What do you mean? I always make the bed when I wake up.”
“That’s true,” Jungkook murmured and Yoongi nodded.
“But this perfectly?” Taehyung insisted.
Jimin jumped on the bed and raised something above his head with a victorious chant, “Ah! The chocolate is still under his pillow!”
Everyone then turned to Namjoon to complain.
“It would have melted.”
“What melted, it would have fallen.”
“You should have eaten it.”
“No one leaves the chocolate there.”
“The bed is too perfect, just me jumping on it made more of a mark than your sleep.”
“If you were here before, why didn’t you respond when we came to call you for breakfast?”
“And why did you not answer your phone?” Jimin added, remembering it suddenly.
The room quieted down for a few seconds and most eyes fell on Namjoon, who just frowned in confusion. 
Thankfully, Jungkook rubbed his chin and tried, “Maybe he was in the shower…”
“For an hour?” Taehyung scoffed.
“His hair is wet right now, you just showered right?” Jin smirked playfully.
Jin’s question was the last straw and Namjoon just sighed, turned, and walked out the door.
“We’re going to be late.”
The guys whined after him, with Taehyung closing the door behind them all before yelling across the corridor, “Where did you sleep?!”
Namjoon’s eyes widened in a second out of sheer embarrassment before he groaned and turned to go down the stairs with the other six trailing him. He could not be stuck with them in an elevator right now and he needed to burn the energy that stress was causing.
It’s not like he couldn’t tell them, he thought, as they exited the staircase towards the lobby. He quickly rushed to the balcony of the hotel that led to the garden where the wedding ceremony would be held. There, fortunately, the class and formality of the event quieted the others down. He hoped it would distract them enough as he walked quietly to the beverages table and got himself a coffee. 
He could tell them, but he wondered if it was correct to do so. He didn’t kiss and tell, that would be rude of him. Additionally, she would be there at the party and if they met her, it could be weird if they knew. What if they said stupid things or insinuated something, he would die with the embarrassment not to mention he wanted to see her again. 
I’ll see you soon.
He blushed and it wasn’t from the hot coffee. He wanted to see her again.
“Seriously, hyung.” He turned and Taehyung was there, reaching to grab a coffee too. “I won’t tell anyone, but the curiosity is killing me.”
Namjoon licked his lips and looked around them. There were definitely too many people there, so he started walking as if nonchalantly wanting to walk the gardens. Taehyung followed him.
“Hyung! Trust me, I just—”
“I wasn’t in my room, alright?” Namjoon turned suddenly, almost spilling both their drinks but Taehyung stopped in his tracks before they could clash.
Taehyung grinned widely, “Ah, I knew it!” He was so giddy he would be jumping right now if it wasn’t for the drink. “Who is she? We saw you with a girl yesterday, you guys were talking.” Namjoon groaned and pressed his temples. The lack of sleep was making his head hurt. “Is it her?”
“Excuse me.”
Both men turned, one with panicked eyes, the other with a pout.
“We’re rounding up everyone for the ceremony to start,” the lady told them politely with a bow.
Namjoon bowed back and took the opportunity to drag Taehyung along, “Not a word of this. I’ll tell you, but not now. Please, let’s keep it quiet.”
He gave him a pleading look and Taehyung smiled, “Not a word, hyung. You can trust me.”
They went straight to their seats on the bride’s side, second row, all to themselves. Most people were already there and ready.
“Where were you?” Jin whispered in a scolding tone.
“Coffee,” Taehyung answered sheepishly, sipping on his paper cup. Jimin eyed him suspiciously, but Taehyung had the most angelical expression on.
Namjoon was unaware of this however because his eyes were avidly searching for someone. And luckily for him, he didn’t have to wait long. Music started to play and people started making their way down the aisle. He nodded at the groom and some groomsmen he knew. Everyone bowed when the parents of the groom passed, then the mother of the bride. And finally, there was someone that passed that stole his breath away.
Angie was wearing a dark blue dress that delineated her curves beautifully. Her blonde hair was falling on her right shoulder in delicate waves and her cleavage was deep, though not too flashy. She was smiling the whole time, and the corners of her lips twitched when her eyes finally fell on him. He had no idea what kind of face he was making, but only when she passed by him did he blink and break the spell. 
Hyejin was of course stunning and nearly crying in happiness as she passed by her friends and family, and Namjoon felt his eyes wet at the sight of her. He glanced to check on the others and everyone was smiling the same, only Yoongi looked down for a moment while Hyejin was left by her dad to her fiancé at the altar. 
The ceremony was beautiful and everyone cheered and whistled when they finally kissed as husband and wife. The tables for lunch had been set on the other side of the garden and everyone made their way there after passing by the bride and groom to congratulate them.
As people who stood up front, BTS were one of the first to approach them. Namjoon was behind Yoongi in line, who seemed to want to avoid the moment, but Namjoon wasn’t having it. He knew Yoongi hated feelings, but it was an important moment for Hyejin and—
“You look beautiful,” Namjoon heard Yoongi say quietly. 
Namjoon thought it was weird that was all Yoongi said, instead of congratulations and lots of happiness on your marriage. His eyebrows jumped at the way Yoongi and Hyejin were just staring into each other’s eyes, and he looked away quickly. Whatever story they might or not once had just ended, and he felt for Yoongi. Namjoon knew he would never say anything, no matter the words that crossed his mind right now. 
He looked up in time to see Yoongi’s pressed lips as he walked away, and then Hyejin’s eyes filled with tears. Namjoon stepped in quickly to hug her and hide her from the world, and she took the opportunity instantly.
“It’s okay,” he whispered against her head, kissing it. She was grabbing him for dear life. “You look stunning, like the brightest of stars, the most perfect flower.” She sobbed once in his chest and he kissed her head again. “We’re all happy for you. We support you no matter what.”
She chuckled and pulled away, cleaning her tears quickly. “Yeah.” She swallowed, “I’m just emotional today.”
He nodded and reached for her hand then kissed it. “We love you, don’t forget that.”
Hyejin smiled, but her lips trembled. Namjoon was ready to move along but Hyejin tightened her grip on his hand and pulled him to lean in, “I’ll say this quickly before I lose the chance to. You and Angie are my closest friends. You guys are a match made in heaven. Don’t hurt her.” He pulled away with wide eyes and she smirked, “Don’t worry, I told her the exact same thing.”
She squeezed his hand and then let it go. He pressed his lips as he processed all those emotions and walked to join the rest of the members at their lunch table. 
The party dragged on, and by the time everyone was celebrating and having lunch together, the seat to the right of Namjoon and the left of Jungkook was still empty.
“Who the hell is ‘Angie’ anyway?” Jungkook read with a stutter.
Namjoon pressed his lips as they all dug into the food. He wasn’t sure how to answer that—
“Hi again.”
All seven men stopped eating to see the woman dragging the chair to sit down. She smiled at them with individual nods, smiling a little wider to Jungkook as she sat beside him. Namjoon pressed his lips at this, he wasn’t sure how to take that smile—
“Did you have any trouble making it in time?” She leaned in to ask in his ear, and he immediately felt a blush creep in on his cheeks.
“No, I was fine,” he whispered back in English, trying not to combust. Fortunately, none of the others could understand them. “You?”
Angie puffed as she got ready to taste the appetizer, “Hyejin almost bit my head off.” She hummed at how good it was then smiled. “I hope you don’t mind, I had to tell her.” She looked worried as she waited for his reaction. “It was a survival instinct.”
He grinned, “I understand. She sounded… authoritarian when she, uh… commented about it.”
Angie’s eyes widened, “Oh no… Did she…?” He nodded and Angie sighed. “I'm so sorry. Damn it, I didn’t imagine she would bother you about it.”
He chuckled, “She told you the exact same she told me.” Angie tried eating a bite as she pondered on what to say. “She seems rather protective of us.”
She grinned, “She does, doesn’t she?”
They were interrupted when celebrations started among tables with people giving their speeches and Angie stayed quiet. Despite being a bridesmaid, Hyejin knew why she didn’t want to do a speech — she didn’t speak Korean. She was there to support her best friend, but she knew she wouldn’t really partake in the party.
Namjoon was sweet and translated most of what was happening so she wouldn’t feel left out, and she was thankful. She could sense the other guys’ eyes on her and she decided to become even more invisible.
She lost track of time, they were waiting for dessert when the man on her right side drew her attention.
“Who… are you?”
His English was probably not good, but she smiled at his effort. “I’m Angie,” she answered, bowing shortly.
“I’m Jungkook,” he answered, with a hand on his chest. “Who…” He looked over at Namjoon and she opened her mouth, then closed it.
Her Korean was truly rudimentary so she tried remembering. She knew the word for friend, but she was stomped on how to explain—
“You can say it, I’ll translate,” Namjoon offered with a smile.
“I don’t want to bother you,” she answered with a pained smile.
“You’re not.” 
His eyes didn’t rest on her like she hoped they would, and she tried not to feel discouraged. 
“I’m Hyejin’s friend. We were roommates for six years in college, so we became pretty close.”
He translated it and all the guys hummed. Another one asked something.
“Jimin asks if you’re also a physician.”
“No, I’m a physicist.” She smiled, then chuckled at their confusion. “Close, but not quite the same.”
She asked about them and was surprised to find they were all singers and idols. They were all very good-looking, but then again so was everyone in Hyejin’s entourage. It made sense because her father and now husband worked in the music industry, but it was always shocking to meet someone seemingly normal but who was truly so rich and famous.
Which reminded her of who she had slept with last night. She kept chatting with them while in the back of her mind, she considered this. Namjoon was too great, it was hard to believe, but then again not that much. He was smart, sensible, polite, hot, and a good lover. She almost scoffed in disbelief, how was he still single? But he had to be, if not for Namjoon not saying anything, at least Hyejin would have when she told her they had spent the night together. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your names,” she smiled. “Jungkook,” she pointed at the man on her right, who smiled.
One by one they presented each other and she tried not to give it away, but her eyes fell back on Yoongi. So that was the famed Yoongi. She didn’t mean this musically, of course, she didn’t know anything about that.
They chatted and when the party progressed and they got up to get drinks, she smiled and let them go. She was surprised when Namjoon came back with a flute of champagne for her.
“Thank you.”
He nodded with a smile and sat back down.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah,” he answered, sipping on his wine.
“Do you know anything about Hyejin and that guy, Yoongi?”
Namjoon raised his eyebrows, “Well… I mean, I know something but…”
She leaned towards him and whispered, “Will you tell me? It’s a big mystery to me, it’s the only guy she ever spoke about in college.” Namjoon raised his eyebrows. “She clearly liked him, but when she came back here I guess she chose someone else. It always confused me.” 
Namjoon looked down and nodded as Angie smiled at Hyejin dancing with her dad.
“This is a secret, I think I’m the only one of the guys who knows,” he started and she zipped her lips closed.
“My lips are sealed. You and I are the only ones that know about this, then.”
He nodded. “We grew up together, she’s Jungkook’s age.” He eyed Angie, suddenly realizing that she was also Jungkook’s age. She raised her eyebrows questioningly, and he shook his head. “Yeah, so I have known her the longest since I was the first to join the company, and she reminded me of my younger sister, so we became close. Then Yoongi joined and she was struck. She was only fourteen but she crushed on him hard. For years, she hung out with all of us, but she was head over heels for him.”
Angie chuckled, “You mean getting all quiet and red around him?” He nodded. “I’ve seen that, but only in passing. She dated in college, but it was never really serious. She was always hung up on someone from here,” Angie continued with a sad shrug. “One time she got drunk and wailed about the ‘cream’ incident.”
Namjoon was shocked, “You know about that?” She nodded. “You have to tell me!” Her eyebrows jumped. “No one knows what happened, Yoongi never said anything. It’s probably the only secret they both kept from us. Or at least from me.”
She eyed him with squinted eyes, “Hmm, are you trustworthy with such sensitive information?”
His jaw dropped and then he sat up straight, “I thought we were sharing secrets…”
She grinned, “We are… You’ll keep it a secret?”
“I’ll take it with me to my grave.” He promised with a hand over his chest, then his eyebrows puckered. He had said that before.
“It’s silly, really. Basically, when she was eighteen, before she came to the US, she found Yoongi in the kitchen with a can of whipped cream. I think they played for it or something, but it basically exploded on them and covered them up. She was really worried about upsetting him, so she tried to clean him up and I think things got heated. She might have removed her shirt, or his, I don’t remember, but I do know that he grabbed her by the shoulders and firmly pushed her to stand away, then he ran off.” Her smile vanished as she remembered Hyejin telling her this. “She regretted never confronting him about it, or telling him how she felt.” Namjoon stayed quiet. “She saw that as a rejection, but she never had the guts to confirm it.”
“We never knew about that. We only ever saw them covered in cream and they both refused to say anything about it. We even thought they were dating, but they both denied it.”
“I don’t think they ever dated,” Angie commented, glancing at Yoongi sipping on a drink at the bar. “Otherwise she would be marrying him.”
Namjoon nodded with a degree of sorrow, “I agree… I never saw anything that made me believe he might have feelings for her until today. I think he’s suffering in his own way.”
She sighed after they stayed quiet for a while, “That’s so sad… She’s the one that got away…”
“So is he…”
“But why? I mean, they’re both adults,” she frowned, turning to look at Namjoon. “Why did she not go for it when she came back? Was he dating someone else?”
Namjoon’s lips pulled in an attempt at a smile, “No, he wasn’t. He still isn’t.”
Her eyebrows jumped, “Wow, then why? Hyejin knows better than to suck it up—”
“He’s an idol.”
“So?”
He pressed his lips and looked down, “It’s just too complicated. They’d never have a normal relationship, and it would be a lot of pressure for her.” He raised his eyes and he wished it wasn’t hurting him that much to say those things. “She probably never asked because he would have to say no. Even if he wanted to say yes.”
Angie’s expression was pale as one of her eyebrows was lowered in subtle disagreement. She could understand what he was trying to say, but she refused to buy it.
“I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit.” Her tone was soft. “Look at him, do you think it was worth it? We talked about how success turns into emptiness. I told you that not all sacrifices are worth it, and I’m not a renowned billionaire star.” She paused. She was frowning despite not wanting to be harsh on him. She just utterly refused that thought. “If it’s like this for me, I can’t imagine how it is for him.” She looked away at Yoongi and then at Hyejin. “I hope no one else goes through the same thing.”
She dragged her chair and got up, and he stuttered to say something but was too late to stop her. He saw her walk away in between all those people and he felt powerless. What could he say? Maybe she was right. Having seen Yoongi and Hyejin grow up together, he surely would have wished it was them getting married today. In a parallel universe, maybe they were. And it was sad to think Yoongi was not as happy as he could have been, but—
“She’s pretty.”
Namjoon turned to see Yoongi sitting on Jin’s spot. Namjoon passed his hand through his hair but nodded. There was nothing to say other than agree.
“And she seems interesting too,” Yoongi mused quietly. “Otherwise you wouldn’t spend hours talking to her like no one else exists.”
Namjoon pressed his lips, unsure of what to say. “When did I—?”
“Last night,” Yoongi answered. “And today, but you said something that upset her.”
Namjoon puffed and rubbed his face. What the hell was happening with him lately?
“We were discussing you, actually,” he admitted, eying his hyung.
“Me?”
“Yes. And Hyejin.”
Yoongi held his eyes then looked down at his drink and Namjoon reached for his. He wouldn’t say more than that, they were discussing secrets after all.
“I love her.”
Namjoon almost choked and Yoongi scoffed.
“Don’t act like you didn’t know, you were probably the only one who ever noticed.”
Namjoon nodded slowly, “How are you?”
“Miserable,” he answered with a smile, then downed his drink. “I’m burying my heart today.”
Namjoon grimaced but didn’t know what to say. “Things could have been different.” Yoongi scoffed and pushed his empty glass away. “Do you regret it?”
Yoongi heaved a deep breath, “I always wanted to be successful, to have a legion of fans. To have money and comfort. To be recognized for the genius I am.” Namjoon hid his smile with his glass. “But losing her… might be the only regret in my life.”
Yoongi’s eyes were intense and had a pain contained in them that made Namjoon instantly worried. He didn’t remember ever seeing his eyes like that, though it was true that Yoongi was the most reserved of them all, especially emotionally.
“So be confident,” Yoongi told him with half a smile. “Whatever you feel or want to do, be confident. You can do it.”
“Guys, you’re not dancing!” Taehyung neared them with the rest of the gang.
“I’m not dancing,” Yoongi scoffed.
“Me neither,” Namjoon agreed with a forced smile.
Angie got back to the table and sat in her spot after giving them a small smile. The guys restarted chatting, but Namjoon couldn’t pay attention. He hadn’t turned to see her or talk to her, but her quiet presence there burned his back. There were things left unsaid between them, he just really didn’t know what he could say.
“You have something on your neck.”
He frowned at the male voice speaking in English and turned back. All men did, in fact, only to see someone familiar talking to Angie.
Jin tried to call him, “Taesun!” 
But he was dismissed quickly with a nod. Jungkook muttered something about him being in his spot, and Taehyung agreed quietly.
“What does he want?”
But Namjoon let out a deep breath. He knew exactly what he wanted. Hyejin had asked him to make sure he wouldn’t harass Angie so he should have expected it.
“Taesun—”
“I’ll be with you guys in a minute, okay?” He gave them a half-caustic smile before turning back to Angie in English. “Did you notice? Right here.”
He meant to reach the skin where her shoulder met her neck and she leaned back to dodge his hand with a frown. By doing this she almost bumped into Namjoon, who caught her shoulders gently. She felt supported by his touch, but that was her fight and she shouldn’t bother him.
“Sorry,” she bowed quietly without looking at him before turning to Taesun. “Yes, I know.” Her tone was dry as if she was being bothered, which she was. 
He smiled, maybe choosing not to see it. “Did you hit it somewhere by accident or something?”
Her lips curved, “No, I’m pretty sure it was intentional.”
Namjoon had decided to turn halfway towards his bandmates, who were listening to the conversation unapologetically despite not understanding it entirely. He couldn’t help a smile at the snarky tone of her voice, and he hid it under his hand.
“Will you dance with me?”
Namjoon’s lips pressed at the wanton tone of Taesun’s voice, and he closed his eyes. After the last words between him and Angie, he would understand it if she accepted and—
“I’m sorry, I really can’t.” Namjoon’s eyes jumped to her head, unable to hide his interest. “You see, last night I hit more places than my neck, so it would be really uncomfortable to move.”
His hand was covering his face, but anyone could tell he looked concerned. Did he hurt her somehow?
Yet Taesun chuckled and shook his head, “I got it, I got it. It’s a pity, but maybe you’ll change your mind later.”
Her lips curved in a polite smile, but she turned away quickly to grab her drink and dismiss him. The others might have not understood a word, but body language and tone of voice spoke volumes. Jungkook immediately moved once Taesun stepped away to occupy his rightful place beside Angie, and Taehyung followed him. They both leaned worriedly and quietly asked her if she was okay. Taesun was married, and his attitude was really distasteful.
Jin and Hoseok immediately bit the bullet and jumped at the opportunity to distract him. 
Yoongi was supporting his head on his hand when he asked quite loudly, “How’s your wife doing?”
Taesun only gave him half a smile before excusing himself.
“How can Hyejin share the same tree branch with him,” Hoseok wondered aloud.
“I need another drink,” Yoongi said, getting up.
The others seemed to decide to follow when they eyed Namjoon, who was staring at the table in front of him while trying to decide something. He was the only one not moving away and Taehyung smacked Jungkook’s shoulder amicably so the youngster would be assured that leaving them alone was okay.
Namjoon reached for Angie’s hand on her lap and she turned to him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she assured him with a quick smile.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
“But you just said you’re uncomfortable moving.”
He was fully leaning into her now, fixed on her glistening eyes and quite alienated from the rest of the party.
“Yeah, I am with him.” She underlined with clear aversion before her features softened. “I would be comfortable with you, however.”
He smiled and it reached his heart. His dimples were showing.
“I can’t. Too many eyes.”
“It’s just a dance.” Her smile was fading as she understood what was happening.
“I doubt I could keep my hands off you.” His mouth spoke faster than it should have, but it was truthful. He was nothing but himself, he was confident.
“I wouldn’t want you to.”
Their eyes were locked as they let the silence surround them. His hand was still holding hers on her lap, he was definitely too close not to be obvious to any bystander and life… He only had the one.
“When are you leaving?”
“The day after tomorrow.”
He nodded with a sad smile, he only could have hoped.
“Would you… have time to be with me?”
He was caressing her hand before he looked up to her eyes.
She was grinning, “Hyejin is leaving on her honeymoon tomorrow. I have all the time in the world until Monday.”
He nodded, “Then stay with me.”
240 notes · View notes
ldysmfrst · 14 days
Text
American Mate - (3)
Following Instincts
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Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader
Status: Ongoing series
Chapter number: 3 of unknown
Word count for Chapter: 3970
Work count for Story: 12111
Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine
Warnings: (I am not good at this, but I will try. Let me know if I missed anything!!) NOT BETA READ!! This story will have a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, m/m, and m/f/m. This chapter does have Injury, Anxiety, Panic attacks, comfort, and Cultural differences.
Story Summary: The Hybrid K-pop group BTS is on tour in America; of course, things don't start out the way they should, but after an encounter with Y/n, things change but will everyone follow Fate?
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Outside the break room, Yoongi is in Alpha space, catching your scent of sweet peas as it changes into a moldy pea soup smell after the comment from the redheaded playmate. Turning with a low and threatening growl, Yoongi’s eyes have gone to his hybrid's bright golden-yellow cat eyes as he blocks you from their sight. Zeroing in on the playmates, tail raised and puffed out, tip twitching back and forth with a snap of irritation, making them all step back and quiet down. Hearing you murmur something in his native tongue and then the frantic footsteps, Yoongi snaps his head to watch your fleeing form disappear into a room down the hall. Taking a quick look back at the playmates, office staff, and then his pack, Yoongi huffs and quickly follows you, unable to fight his Alpha instincts.
The rest of the BTS packmates follow their bonded one closely behind as they feel his need to protect you from the others in the office. Namjoon catches Yoongi by the shoulder, stopping him from attempting to enter the room where you sought refuge. The rest of the pack forms a barricade around their Prime Alpha and packmate, who has entered Alpha space. They all are standing on guard, facing the rest of the people in the office, watching closely for any danger, and keeping the rude humans away. 
“Yoongi, you need to give her space. Remember, she is human and might get scared of your Alpha. What is happening? I need you to get enough control to explain what is happening?” Namjoon calmly speaks to his older packmate. Pushing out calming scents, trying to bring him out of his Alpha space with soothing strokes along his shoulder and back. “Can you come back and explain why you are protecting Miss Y/n?”
Barreling into the front of the group of observers with his tail bushed out and scent-smelling concerned, Derek comes up to the defensive line of BTS, “You have to let me get to her. You have to let me help calm down Y/n. Can’t you scent her distress? She is not doing okay by herself. You can even smell her over the scent-blockers!  I am the closest thing she has to a family. Please let me in to make sure she is okay. Please.”
 One of Yoongi’s black jaguar ears twitch back, hearing the urgency in Derek’s voice. He looks at Namjoon, takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes. After a few seconds, he turns to Derek with normal dark eyes, taking in his shifty behaviors and now partly distressed scent. 
Shaking his head slowly to Namjoon, Yoongi steps between his packmates and face-to-face Derek. “You are the closest thing to her family?”
“Yes, She and I were hired together when they decided to start this branch. We work together and spend time together at my den or her apartment. I do my best to protect her from situations like this because of her past. I normally try to keep her away from the playmates in general so things like this do not happen."
"She is only here today because we could not convince her otherwise since in the meeting yesterday with your Manager and what was said on the phone. She was bullied a lot before, and while it is not something that is okay, unfortunately, it still happens to this day. I really tried but I couldn’t do anything to keep her away. She had to be here even with little to no sleep and nightmares."
Bowing slightly but keeping an eye on the pack, Derek demandingly pleads, "Now, please, Mr. Min, please let me pass. Everyone can smell that something has happened. I think she is hurt in more ways than one.”  
The last comment got the attention of the whole pack on him, and everyone looked concerned. Several eyes flashed as their hybrid halves showed their displeasure with the news. Yoongi continued to fight his Alpha instincts with a deep growl and even breaths.
“How can you tell?” Namjoon asks from next to the door. He can smell something, but it tells him nothing since he has never smelt Y/n.
“That moldy smell. Like veggies gone bad?” The hybrids start sniffing, searching for the smell, and scrunching their noses once it hits. “That is why I know something is not right. Y/n, her scent turns like that when she is hurt. I am not sure if it is just emotional but it could be physical too. I can’t tell how bad it is because the scent-blocking measures she took for your arrival are still dulling it down.  Now again. Let me in to help my friend. I may be a Beta but she is like a pack member to me and I protect her like it.”
“Fine, but I am going in with you. I was the one who knocked into her and failed to keep her from falling. My Alpha instincts have gone haywire and I have the need to protect her,” his eyes glaring back at the playmates, “ from certain people here while ensuring she is okay and make amends for my mistake.” Yoongi states without room for argument, moving to the side, nodding to his packmates to make room for them. Once the two are through, the pack retakes their defensive stance, keeping everyone else out. 
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Knocking on the door, Derek calls out softly as he opens it, entering and looking around the room to spot your shaking frame in the farthest and darkest corner. Namjoon shuts the door for privacy and protection while he stands guard just outside, with one ear listening to what is happening inside the room and one ear on the rest of the office. His mind racing from the powerful wave of rotten scent that has built up in the room.
The scent is much more robust in this room. The scent-blocking measures no longer mask your distress and pain. This causes Derek and Yoongi to whine at the smell and quickly move to your side. Derek pulled you into a tight embrace, pushing his scent out and over you and scenting the top of your head while murmuring soft, reassuring words. Yoongi comforts you with his own calming scents, pushing down the desire to pry you out of Derek’s hold to take you into his own. Much to their relief, your tears slow, and your breathing calms after what feels like hours.
“Derek, my nightmares, they came true. I ruined everything. I should have stayed away. I should have been looking where I was going. Reina was right. The one with the black tail, did I hurt him? He... He tried catching me. Me! I weigh a ton.” 
At that last comment, a deep growl resounds from behind you. It takes half a second to realize it is not from the hybrid holding you. Catching your breath and snapping your mouth shut, you cautiously peek through your hair to look behind you to see none other than Mr. Min Yoongi, who turns out to be the owner of said black tail, now snapping to and fro with irritation. 
“Shit,” you mumble under your breath, your mind racing to figure out a way to get out of this situation without causing any further damage and how best to word your resignation letter.
“Miss Y/n, let us address a few things. Firstly, you do NOT weigh a ton, nor will you ever refer to yourself in that manner again. Secondly, I am not injured, nor could you injure me, as I AM an Alpha in my own right and am stronger than I look, even if I am not the Prime Alpha of the Bangtan Pack.” Yoongi’s eyes flashed a different color.
You shrink down to try to make yourself smaller. Seeing your reaction and realizing that his Alphal is trying to be in control again, he takes another deep breath to calm himself, looking between you and Derek.
 “Lastly, would you be so kind as to allow my Alpha to inspect you for injuries? I came out of the observation room door unannounced and ran into you. I tried to prevent you from falling, but we are close in height, and I could not do much other than take what I hoped was the brunt of the fall.”
Turning more towards him but still staying in the safety of Derek’s hold, you look at him with confusion. “Your Alpha? Like your hybrid-side is not yourself?” Looking over your shoulder at Derek, you see him with a smirk and a chuckle on his lips.
“Missy here,” Derek looks at Yoongi, “has never met an Alpha male before. I am a beta, and her best friend is an omega.” Turning his attention back to you, “Unlike Evie and I, an Alpha has an inner animal that they can change into fully at will and it allows them to go into Alpha space to assist in protecting, hunting, and mating.”
You look at Yoongi with wide eyes, “You turn into a black cat?” 
“I am not a black cat,” he huffs in annoyance, eyes flashing a different color briefly. “I am a Black Jaguar hybrid, and I am trying my best to keep him at bay because he can sense that your emotions have calmed down, but you are still in pain.” 
His eyes roam over your figure, stopping when he notices you are cradling your right wrist. Standing up and motioning to a nearby chair, he asks,  “Please, can I inspect you for injuries? I can see you are being careful with your right hand.”
With a gentle push from behind you, you move to the chair Yoongi gestured to. Derek also stands up but keeps his distance, watching how the two of you interact. Yoongi kneels before you, “I have to let my Alpha see for himself. I promise he will not harm you. Mr. Gulley can attest to that at this point, my Alpha would have much rather hurt himself than you.” 
Glancing at Derek, he nods with a knowing smile while taking a seat a few tables over. Taking a moment to collect yourself, running your good hand through your hair and fixing your shirt, you look down at the hybrid. With a slight smirk, he looks at you with kind eyes,  “Miss Y/n, please allow me to check for injuries. You have no reason to be nervous. You look perfect as you are.” 
Blushing slightly at his words, you nod and tuck your hair behind your ear. You watch him closely as his dark brown eyes slowly change into a stunning golden-yellow color, with the pupil elongating into a pointed oval. His ears and tail moved this way and that, never quite settling in one position for very long. Your scent turns slightly back to sweet peas as the sight makes you smile softly. 
Cautiously, Yoongi kneels closer to you to become within reaching distance. Taking your left ankle gently in his hand, he rotates it, bends your leg at the knee, and sniffs at each joint. He repeats the process with the other side as well. Finding that nothing in your legs seems to be hurting, he looks at your face again with a short, pleased chirping sound. 
Scooting a little closer, he reaches out to your left hand, bends your elbow, feels along your fingers one by one, then rotates your wrist and again seems to sniff along the joints. 
You fidget in your seat, knowing what comes next will hurt, but you don't know how the hybrid in front of you will react. Noticing your movements and the slight change in your scent, Yoongi wraps his tail around your ankle to offer support. A slight sense of pride fills him when your scent calms down at his gesture of comfort, even if you do not realize it. 
Taking your right hand, he follows the same steps, pausing slightly before he rotates your wrist. You let out a yelp of pain and bite your bottom lip as you try to pull your hand out of his grip, which only causes him to hold it just a little bit tighter with one hand while the other quickly reaches to the nape of your neck to bring you into an awkward hug. Your head is now resting on his shoulder with your nose breathing against his neck, your good hand going to his side and gripping his shirt. 
Once the pain has dulled, you realize you smell the rain, not like fresh rain but like petrichor or the earth after a good downpour. It is comforting and relaxes you even more until you hear a soft chuffing noise and remember who you are smelling. 
Pulling away, you shyly look back at Yoongi, still observing you with golden-yellow eyes and holding your wrist firm but gently. “Umm... I think I just landed on it wrong. Just some ice and pain meds should be okay. I will be good as new tomorrow,” you say with a false smile, trying to play it off as no big deal.
However, Yoongi’s ears flatten, and his feline eyes narrow at you while nodding down to your wrist. Following his line of sight, you now see that your wrist is slightly swollen and is covered with a lovely purple color. “Okay, maybe I won’t be as good as new tomorrow.”
Derek stands up and approaches the two of you to see the damage done. Taking a sharp breath, he looked at Yoongi and froze, noting that the Alpha was sternly watching his every move. 
“Mr. Min, please remember I am like family, a pack, as you could say, with Y/n. I am also not a mate, nor am I looking to make her one. Will you allow me to get your Prime Alpha and Manager so we can decide how to move forward?”
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Outside the breakroom, Mr. Johnson, the director of PMS USA, was informed there was an incident and is now standing with Manager Sejin outside the BTS barrier. He had ordered Reina and the other playmates to be escorted back into the conference room by some other staff. 
Mr. Johnson had hand-picked you to be the friendly first face of PMS because you light up any room you walk into and are always willing to put in the extra time to help make things perfect on or off the clock. 
“Hello, I am the director, I really should go in there and make sure my employee is okay, Manager Sejin,” Mr. Johnson states, glancing at the members of BTS as they continue to block the door and growl at anyone who walks near them. 
“Why are they not letting anyone near the door? I am sorry. I know about hybrids from the symposiums and conferences but rarely interact with many. I typically leave that up to my staff.” Glancing over at the hamster hybrid.
“Namjoon-ssi, do you want me to answer that, or would you like to?” Manager Sejin asks while watching Mr. Johnson. Namjoon redirects his attention from the breakroom to the seemingly incompetent human before him.
Taking a few slow steps forward, Hosek takes over guarding the break room door. Namjoon comes to stand with his pack, but nearer to Mr. Johnson and Manager Sejin, he says, “Mr. Johnson, we are a pack. More so, we are a pack of Alpha hybrids. Ranging from prey to predator types. We are a bonded pack on top of that, which means it’s all or none. We all are protective of something or someone if one of us feels the need. When one of us is hurt, we are all hurting with them.”
Looking at each of his packmates, Namjoon is filled with a sense of pride. Though they don’t know the extent of what has happened, they still support their mate to the best of their ability in a foreign country without question.
“Yoongi is feeling protective of Miss Y/n because of a few things. Y/n is injured because of an accident caused by Yoongi. She is not in a good emotional state because of your Playmates’ behavior due to the same accident.” He looks back at the Director, trying to maintain a more neutral expression to hide his disdain for the women now in some office somewhere.
“As an Alpha, our animals require us to hold ourselves to a higher standard than others. We like to try and ensure those around us are happy. With a very select few, we want to make sure they are also healthy and protected, among other things. In Yoongi’s Alpha space, he has failed to meet these standards when it comes to Y/n. It is now beyond his control, so to speak, to do anything other than fix his mistakes and ensure Y/n’s safety, recovery, and happiness. This means the Bangtan Pack is now responsible for the same.”
“Oh well. Um. I see. I can reassure you that Playmate Services has a good doctor who can tend to her if she needs one, and of course, she can have the rest of today and even tomorrow off. No need to make a fuss.”
A deep growl rips from behind Namjoon, causing everyone to look and see that Taehyung's eyes have gone crystal blue. His scent of burning ebony wood crashed over the pack. “You seem to be in over your head, Mr. Johnson. You have more than one hybrid working for you, yet you know nothing. Your company's incompetence is allowing bullying. From what one of your staff says, it has been happening for quite some time and yet you do nothing about it. Did you not hear our Prime Alpha tell you that she is ours now. We will take her to get treated by our medical professionals. We will take care of her to ensure she heals properly and regains a better state of mind. Not you.”
“Hyung, it’s okay. Calm down, please. We don’t need two of you in Alpha space right now. It will not help Miss Y/n or Yoongi-hyung.” Jungkook steps up next to Taehyung, scenting his neck gently as his snickerdoodle scent pushes out, causing the blue to flicker back to his natural dark brown. 
With a last glare and a mumbled, “Pathetic, oblivious human.” He moves closer to Hosek and, in turn, you. Jungkook quickly follows in an attempt to keep the high-tempered White Southwest African Tiger calm and get closer to you as well. 
“You may have misunderstood me, gentlemen. I have tried to deal with the playmates and their disrespectful actions towards Y/n and some of the other staff. Sadly, Reina is a top pick and brings in a lot of money. Since we are the newest and smallest branch, the corporate office wants to refrain from taking any disciplinary actions for fear that she will quit. They think that any of the office staff are replaceable, whereas reliable Playmates are harder to find.”
“Mr. Johnson, while that may be the case prior to today, their bullying has gone too far. Manager Sejin,” Namjoon says, “I believe it would be wise if the director took care of the bullying by the playmates and joined them for the time being. We need a few moments without interruptions to assess what is happening and how the Pack will move forward with this office, if at all.” 
Dismissing the director to be dealt with by Manager Sejin, Namjoon walks back to the door, which is now being guarded by Hosek, Taehyung, and Jungkook. The scent of snickerdoodle, ebony wood, and lilac mix together with the pack scent of vanilla underneath.
“... can’t tell?”
“Can’t tell what?” Namjoon asks the small group.
“Hobi can’t tell,” replies Jungkook while Taehyung nods in agreement. 
“The boys say that their Alphas are reacting to Y/n but I can’t tell if mine does or not. You spoke to her, stood right in front of her. Namjoon, can you tell?”
“Oh? Hmm, I guess I haven’t really paid attention. After what happened with… you know who… I guess I have been pushing my Alpha to the back as much as I could. I have been focusing on taking care of you guys, my mates, first and I couldn’t do that with him pacing in my head so much. She really tore Yoongi, Join, and Hobi apart inside with what she said. ” 
Namjoon started thinking back to hearing your voice, full of determination and strength, over the phone yesterday. Your care, intention, and respect for the pack that you have shown today. It would be simple to say that his Alpha was comfortable around you, and from how the pack’s scents have been, he wasn’t the only one who was.
“My Alpha is comfortable with y/n, but I wouldn’t say that he is reacting in any particular way.”
A soft whine leaves Jungkook. “Why do the older mates always walk with blinders on? Huh! You need to really let your Alpha look at her. My Alpha hasn’t wanted to look away from her since we walked into the office.”
“Joon, I am with Kookie on this one. While I wasn’t drawn in right away, I trust Yoongi's Alpha not to react this way with just anyone. So when he ran after her, I was the closest one to the door and before the pack’s scent took over, I could smell vanilla with something rotten. At first, I thought it was a candle or something, but I looked around. There are no candles.”
Taehyung’s comment on smelling vanilla caught the attention of Jimin and Seokjin. Turning to join the conversation while still trying to maintain the barrier, Jimin speaks up.
“So it wasn’t just me. When Yoongi and that man went in, I smelled vanilla with almost a compost-like smell. After that, my Alpha wanted nothing but to keep everyone, human or hybrid, away from this door. He is really fighting to be at the front.”
“I figured that our muscle bunny was just leaning into his instincts of being a bunny when he was speaking about Y/n in the conference room. Yet it didn’t explain to me why my Alpha felt awkward at her bowing to me when I spoke to her before going into the room.” Seokjin commented with a stern but thoughtful look. 
“Wait, wait, wait!” Hosek moves away from the door slightly, his expression confused and frustrated. “Are you telling me that you have all had some kind of reaction from your Alphas for the human lady behind the door? Some of you smelled vanilla, too?”
They all look at Hosek and then at Namjoon, waiting for them to come to the same conclusion. After a few tense moments had passed, it was like a lightbulb went off over Hosek’s head as his lilac scent burst with a bit more hints of rose and vanilla. Everyone now focuses on Namjoon.
Namjoon’s head is racing over every moment that has happened since walking in the door. As Prime Alpha, his responsibilities for the pack are more significant than others, and with what the boys are hinting at, the next few moments will change so much. 
“Her reactions were top-notch with our pack, and her showing an exceeding amount of respect to the packmates could be just her professionalism.” More whines and a few soft growls are heard. Looking up, Namjoon makes eye contact with each of his mates standing before him. 
“However, only the vanilla scent can mean one thing which won’t be easy for the human woman.” Taking a deep breath, the pack turned their attention to the door.
“We have an American Mate.”
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seokjinsonlyone · 1 year
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what type of kissers do you think the members are
joon is a passionate kisser. he kisses you with everything that he's got. he's someone who talks a lot, feels even more, but some things can only be communicated when his lips are on yours. so when he has the opportunity to try to let you know what's in that big ole brain and even bigger heart, it's with your back pressed up against the wall, your legs wrapped around his waist. he's engulfing you completely. kisses sloppy, a little wet, an artless meeting of lips and tongue, in hopes that you understand just how much he cares for you, the depth of his affection for you. and when he pulls back for air and looks at you, pupils blown, hair wild from your constant toying with it you see the final piece of the puzzle he was putting together: love.
jin is a soft kisser. always a man of the present, when he kisses you he's in that moment, wants to take his time with it, wants to make the most of each second his lips are on yours. and he does. it starts with the way he skirts his hand up your side and runs his palm up and down your arm when he notices the way you shiver as he leans closer to you. continues with the gentle way he brushes the hair out of your eyes, tucking the strands neatly behind your ear, the way he traces your jawline with his thumb before pinching your chin tilting your head upwards. he revels in the tiny gasp you inhale when he bumps his nose against yours but finally presses his lips to yours when he senses you're about to start whining. and when those plush lips are on yours simply lingering you have no choice but to melt into him, so tightly wound from the anticipation that you just take whatever he's willing to give, unaware that he wants to give you the world.
yoongi is a casual kisser. the feelings between you two are far from casual, but when yoongi kisses you, when his hands are on your waist pulling you into him, when his lips are on your neck suctioning a mark for the world to see, when his tongue is tangled with yours, you understand the casual, the everyday. yoongi's kisses are the gentle breeze on a warm summer's night, they're the waves swelling and receding on a shoreline, clouds aimlessly passing by on a sunny day. they're as sure as the sun rises and sets everyday and as fulfilling as the earth's completion of another revolution knowing that you've made it through yet another year. whether it's a passing peck or an unhurried push and pull after a night of loving, tired but not yet ready to part, his lips on yours turn the ordinary into extraordinary.
hobi is a desperate kisser. every kiss with hobi is both your first and your last. it’s either fast hot and heavy, lips slightly out of synchronization, the occasional knocking of teeth, hands roaming, squeezing in an attempt to get so close to you that he’s either in you or he becomes you. or it’s slow and savory his hand on the back of your neck, yours wrapped around his waist soft breaths huffed out, his nose gently pushing against yours as you break apart, with all the longing of lovers soon to part even tho you both know you’re not going anywhere. but just in case, he wants to leave with no regrets.
jimin is an all consuming kisser. when you kiss him it’s never just his lips on yours, no. he takes over your all your senses. his mouth is sugar sweet like the lollipop he was just sucking on. his hands grip at your sides, before he walks his fingers up your spine, goosebumps left in their wake. he smells faintly of cologne and baby powder. the giggle that he lets out when he briefly breaks away from your lips is just as sweet as his mouth tastes yet just as sinful as the moan he releases when you bring your faces back together nowhere near done chasing the feeling his lips give you. and when your lungs no longer allow you to continue you stare at him eyes slightly drooped, chest heaving you swear up and down that park jimin is the eighth wonder of the world.
tae is a sensual kisser. it starts off with a gentle press of his lips to yours. sticky as he pulls back your lip gloss now on his lips too. then he goes back in tongue prodding for entry, and when you let him in he licks into your mouth purposefully, tongue firmly massaging your own before withdrawing lightly biting your bottom lip on the way out. one hand is on your thigh and the other is on your lower back forcing you to straddle him bodies pressed as close together as possible. he nips at your collar bones before trailing a series of wet kisses up your neck and across your jawline until he has you right where he wants you–whining, panting, begging for more.
jungkook is a sincere kisser. 9 times out of 10 when he’s kissing you it’s not bc he’s filled with lust, although that usually comes soon after, it’s bc there’s a certain longing, a yearning tugging at his heartstrings and it seems like the only way to relieve the pull is to have his lips on yours. so that’s exactly what he does. he’s the type to cup your face with both his hands gently swiping his thumbs across your cheeks before fully leaning in and capturing your lips between his. he suckles on your bottom lip for a few seconds then pulls back breath hitching when he notices how you chase after his lips. in mild disbelief of how he ended up here, with you, the one place he always hoped he'd be, bc you see jungkook doesn’t just like he adores and when he loves it’s with all his heart.
a/n: ajdsfojds you sent this MONTHS AGO I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONGGGGG i just had a specific thought in mind for each but the details were always fuzzy so it took a while to turn the picture in my mind into words that make sense but hopefully this is okayyyyy i be taking forever sometimes but i sweeeaarrr i'm always working
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lbxbx · 1 month
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Cockpit 11 | knj
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Pair: Namjoon x reader
Summary: Namjoon goes through a rough time while getting a divorce, meeting you at the club two weeks in a row when attraction becomes unreal.
Rating: +18 mature content, Smut, divorce, fatherhood, major toxic behavior, mentions of abuse
taglist: @wecanpretendit | @whoisbts | @yoonjinsrkive | @my-current-mood-is | @joonzseoulmate | @parkinglot-nights | @missbangtangirl | @m00njinnie | @mantaecrolss | @busanbby-jjk | @bangtanxmegan | @nochelunaxx | @certified-lana-del-rey-lover
A/N: Disclaimer babes i'm not majored in law but i have searched to have a background on the actual thing to try include actual right details and pls let me know if i missed something, ps this may include typos because of my keyboard it's going insane and driving me nuts :)
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“Ew, so you practically baby sit his son the entire flight?” Even when it’s just a video call, you could clearly see the cringe on Taehyung’s voice. You had just arrived to your place a couple hours ago, Namjoon drove you to your place and went home so he could finally be prepared for the hearing that’s actually going to be tomorrow.
You were on your nerves the entire time, your appetite is long gone for almost the past week, your nausea is creeping back on you and you find your hands to be shaking occasionally even when there was little to no effort done that day.
Namjoon was nervous too but he was masking it pretty well to try and make it easier for you even when it should be the opposite. You were genuinely worried about the outcome, what if they go through trial? What if the entire divorce is cancelled? It can’t happen, you find yourself near panicking when this thought crawls into your head so you shake it off immediately before you dive into over thinking, and you don’t really need that right now.
“Yeah, I did.” You roll your eyes. “But it wasn’t that bad.”
“He’s still a kid.” He shrugs, “And how was he? Was he nice?”
“He was okay.” You were folding your laundry, “Are you coming over tomorrow?”
Your friends were kind enough to gather at your place during the hearing tomorrow just to keep your mind off of it, and since all of you enjoy Jungkook’s noodles, he offered that he would make a big pot for you all to have for lunch tomorrow.
And it was sweet of Hoseok that he actually called you earlier and told you that he can’t be there for tomorrow’s lunch, and he was “Work” to do, and he’ll be back right after. He just did it to reassure you and promised you that it’s going to be okay.
“Yeah, I’m coming over alone though.” He finally parks his car and gets into his building, “And your girlfriend?”
“She went over to her parents to celebrate her grandmother’s birthday, I’m on my own.” He unlocks his place and gets inside, “I’m home now, I’ll see you tomorrow chief, okay?”
“Mhm, see you.” You wave your hand and hang up, you throw your phone down and just lay down on your couch, your head faces the ceiling and you start thinking.
What if Namjoon gets the divorce? What happens after that? That’s the question you never asked yourself. You’re convinced that there’s something between you two, but it’s still not labeled nor official.
What happens after the hearing regarding you two?
You roll your eyes at yourself, you just gave yourself an extra thing to over think about when your thoughts are already crammed inside your head.
You want tomorrow night to come faster than ever, you missed sleeping without having to struggle before or even without having nightmares.
Your phone buzzes a message and you sigh before you grab it, thinking it was probably one of your friends  but it’s Namjoon who texted you a picture of his suit hung  up in his closet.
“do you think it’ll look good?”
“tie or no tie?”
“off to get myself a divorce tomorrow hahaha.”
A little breath escapes your nose when you chuckle softly at his message, your fingers hover over the screen to type back.
“I guess no tie.”
“how can you joke about this I’m scared.”
And only seconds after he Facetime’s you a video call and you answer him right away, he’s in his bed smoking a cigarette and having a drink, “I know I don’t have to ask you why because I already know.”
“What if—“
He interrupts. “Hey, no what if’s. I know everything is going to be okay, I’m well prepared and I trust Hobi, don’t you?”
“I do, I just don’t trust her.” You shrug. He takes a sip of his drink and shakes his head. “Just so you know, regarding the outcome, and whatever happens, I want you to know that I would still choose you.”
It does reassure you a little, but still you don’t want anything to be in the way between you two, and you know his wife tried to set him up so many times, what if she actually figured something out without you two knowing?
“Y/N.” He laughs. “Stop over thinking, I’m the one going through the divorce not you.”
“Alright. I’m not going to call you nor text you anything tomorrow, I’ll get the news eventually.” Your stomach drops just by the thought of it, he nods. “I’m sure you will, I just called Jay.”
“Poor little thing.” You pout, he takes a drag from his cigarette and puffs away the smoke. “Apparently he likes you.”
“I like him too.” You can’t help but smile, even when you’re a little surprised on the inside, children don’t usually like you. “Is he having fun at his grandparents?”
“Oh yeah, he enjoys being around his cousins, he’s used to staying there.” He turns off his cigarette, “Oh, Hobi is calling, can I call you back later?”
“Mhm, I’ll chat with you later.” You blow him a kiss and he blows one back before saying goodbye and hanging up.
Of course you hardly fall asleep that night, you did see it coming so you weren’t that surprised. You woke up with sore shoulders and a headache that didn’t go away even after having your morning coffee. You decided to give it some time before taking a pill.
As for him, Namjoon had a good night sleep, only his was full of nightmares, and of course he kept twisting and turning before he did manage to fall asleep, his morning was a little similar to yours, only he washed up and got dressed, he bathed in his own cologne and finally got on the road after texting you.
“Good morning :*”
“you were right”
“no tie looks way better”
“have a nice day beautiful <;3”
The clock is ticking and the hearing is a little over an hour away and he can feel his heartbeat pounding in his chest, there was little to no traffic luckily and Namjoon is the type of guy that considers the tiniest thing to be a sign that his day will go well or not, and no traffic could probably be a sign.
He makes it to Hoseok’s office in no time and walks inside, of course Hoseok was already there hours ago finishing the last couple of things and finishing the documents that he may possibly need.
“Good morning Hobi.”
“You’re here early.” Hoseok looks at the watch on his wrist. “Good morning,  how are you feeling?”
Namjoon  plops down on the couch in front of Hoseok’s disk with sigh escaping his lips. “I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t nervous. I want things to go well.”
“You’re in safe hands, don’t  worry.” Hoseok walks towards the coffee machine beside his disk. “Coffee?”
“Sure, yeah.” Namjoon takes out his pack of cigarettes. “Can I?”
“Sure.” Hoseok cracks the window open before he makes two cups of coffee and sits in front of Namjoon to have a smoke as well, “Her lawyer called, and they think they have something in their hand but they don’t.”
“What if they found something else we don’t know of?” Namjoon leans his elbows on his thighs. “I’m worried.”
Hoseok take a puff of his smoke before crossing his legs. “Is that what you’re worried about? Or the entire thing generally?”
Namjoon takes out a cigarette and lights it up. “The entire thing, I’m worried over Y/N, what if the outcome doesn’t come in our benefit?”
“Then you still don’t know who your lawyer is.” Hoseok grins, “Don’t worry about Y/N, no matter what the outcome is, she’s going to be okay.”
Namjoon opens his mouth and he’s so close to saying it out loud to Hoseok, but he’s a little hesitant.
Of course he’s not unsure about the way he feels about you, he’s just hesitant on how he’s going to share the fact itself. He wants you to be the one to hear it first, but he feels the need to reassure Hoseok, since he’s really protective over you. “Hobi I…”
It looks like it’s coming out earlier than expected.
“Hmm?” Hoseok’s gut feeling was never wrong, and he kind of knows what’s about to be said.
“I… I know this happened quickly, but the past four months are the happiest I’ve been in my life.” His thoughts are racing through his head when he speaks again. “I’m getting the divorce mainly because I want her instead.”
“Instead?”
“I feel like I wasted the past thirty years of my life being with someone I cannot stand and will not stand no matter how hard I tried.” He shrugs his shoulders, slowly getting relieved at the fact that he’s spilling what’s been kept inside his heart as he never shared it with anyone. “I’ll choose Y/N over anyone anytime.”
Hoseok turns off his cigarette and crosses his arms. “But you just said it, it’s been only three months, aren’t you worried that you’d change your mind? Or probably the way you feel may change.”
He scratches his head and looks into Hoseok’s eyes. “I liked her in the beginning, you know the way you like any girl at the bar, and I was totally unfair to her when I hid everything and wasn’t completely honest with her, and deep inside I thought that I might actually lose her if I told her the truth. And when she found out I was a little relieved even when I was the bad guy.”
Hoseok is a smart man and due to being in his field for so long, he can easily tell if someone was being honest or not, Namjoon does seem genuine to him, the man gave up his marriage just to be with you, and he wouldn’t do that if he never felt anything for you.
“And when I saw her on that plane to Ilsan, I knew it was a sign that I shouldn’t let her go this time, and I can’t risk losing her again.” Namjoon puts off his cigarette and shrugs. “She makes me happy.”
“What’s your next step Joon?” Hoseok asks. “After the divorce.”
A smile creeps on Namjoon’s face when he crosses his arms. “I want her to be my girlfriend, I want everyone to know about her, I want to show her off.”
Hoseok was always your wingman back when you two were young, he would go around and ask guys you liked how they felt about you just so he can tell you later, and as much as he wanted to tell you every single thing about the conversation that just happened, he won’t.
“I actually think it’s very brave of you to decide and go through a relationship again when you’re working your way out of one.” Hoseok shrugs. “No offense, I’m telling you this as your friend.”
“None taken. I know, and you can’t believe how bad this experience was, and I can’t wait to be over with it, I thought I’d be traumatized by women for life, but Y/N  is different on so many levels, and to be honest I did compare them both so many times, but she can never live up to Y/N.” Namjoon scoffs.
“Well.” Hoseok puts his  hands on his own knees for support before getting up and looks at the time on his wrist. “As long as you two are happy, but for now we need to go.”
-
“Jungkook please don’t make it spicy.” Taehyung hovers behind Jungkook who’s standing in front of the stove and opening up the noodles packets.
“No put all the spice in and please pass on the seaweed, it makes me want to puke.” You stand next to Jungkook and watch him work, before he rolls his eyes and turns off the heat. “Okay, you two, either shut up or leave the kitchen.”
“Y/N? Did you order something for delivery?” Seokjin calls your name from the living room and you rush outside to open the door.
You ordered birthday cake for Namjoon, of course you didn’t forget, and since all of you are gathering at your place, you were going to celebrate it.
“Birthday cake?” Seokjin unsurely asks. “What if—“
“Hey, there no what if anymore, no matter what the outcome is, we’re going to celebrate his birthday. If he did get the divorce then there’s two reasons to celebrate, and if he didn’t, then we’ll celebrate it to make him feel better.”
“You’re totally in love with him aren’t you.” Jimin gets up to look at the cake. You roll your eyes and close the box to put the cake in the fridge. “You know sometimes I regret not having girl friends and choosing you guys instead.”
“You don’t mean that.” Jimin carelessly shrugs, “Jungkook hurry up we’re hungry.”
“You need to relax.” Seokjin tucks your hair behind your ear. “You’re acting all paranoid, the hearing already started and I know there’s nothing I could say to make this easier for you, but trust me it will be fine.”
You take a long sigh and take a seat in the living room. “I know, but his wife knows what she’s doing and that’s what I’m worried about.”
“Don’t you trust Hobi?” He asks. “He’s like, the number one divorce lawyer in Seoul.”
“Speaking of which.” Yoongi walks out of the bathroom to join you in the living room. “Did Namjoon pay Hoseok?”
“Yes.” Jungkook walks out of the kitchen with the large pot of noodles in his hands, using the sleeves of his top to protect him from the heat. “Hobi hyung told me.”
“Why wouldn’t he?” You shrug your shoulders. “Hobi’s doing his job after all.”
“But he’s our friend now.” Seokjin grabs a pair of chopsticks and you immediately object. “I know he is, but you have to put business aside, Hobi is an excellent lawyer and he deserves to be paid even if it was me getting the divorce.”
The entire room goes silent as they start scooping noodles into their plates and devouring the food, you still don’t have the appetite so you barely put one ladleful in your plate and force yourself to finish it.
Your phone buzzes a text and you rush to take it out of your pocket, it’s a text from Hoseok.
“Oh my god.” Your stomach drops. “They’re on their way here.”
-
“File number 3501CR. Mr. Kim versus Mrs Lee.”
“I am here for Mrs. Lee.” Her lawyer speaks, and Hoseok speaks right after. “And I am here for Mr. Kim Namjoon.”
“Mr. Jung, glad to see you.” The judge gets up on his feet to handshake Hoseok, he was pretty popular and loved, people enjoyed his company so much and most lawyers want to be taught and trained under him.
“Glad to see you too sir.” Hoseok shakes his hand back. Namjoon’s pounding heart still hasn’t calmed down but oh well, the judge knows Hoseok so this may serve his benefit.
“Alright, you can go ahead.” The judge orders and both lawyers hand over their files, Namjoon’s anxiety increases when he sees her file thicker than his, do they have something new?
“I’m here to speak for my client, Mister Kim, who filed a divorce 11 months and 23 days ago, he gave his testimony to the previous attorney who handed me over this case.” Hoseok flips through the file. “Sir the testimony is attached in pages 4 through 24.”
“Mhm.” The judge flips through the papers, taking his time to read some of the highlighted points that Hoseok worked on.
Namjoon’s testimony was taken long ago, he included everything about his fucked up marriage, he mentioned that he didn’t get his rights as a husband, and the mental stress she puts him and his son  through, how downhill Jay’s health deteriorates with every arguments, even included medical reports, the last one being signed by you, when you found out that Namjoon was married.
“Your honor, Kim Jaehyuk is their son, also known as Jay in the passport copies.” Hoseok flips through the papers. “3 Years old, with a medical history of seizures, occurring on the attached dates, clipped to that are picture of the hospital trips taken by mister Kim’s dash cam, and below that are his medical reports.”
“What are mister Kim’s conditions to this divorce?” The judge asks as he flips through the papers.
“Full custody of Kim Jaehyuk, and no asset distribution.” Hoseok answers right away even when Namjoon doesn’t mind neither.
If she did get the custody of Jay he will be able to see him every now and then, and for the assets even when she wasn’t worth it, he was willing to give anything away to get rid of her.
“What do you do for a living mister Kim?” The judge asks and Namjoon clears his throat and answers. “I’m an aircraft pilot sir.”
“How long have you been an aircraft pilot?” He asks and Namjoon tilts his head. “Almost 6 years.”
“Sir I have included his portfolio the page after, clipped behind it is a laboratory test that rules off any drug addiction or biological disease that may disable him. And on the next page is a written psychological evaluation written by a specialist, that clearly shows that mr. Kim may be suffering from recurrent panic attacks that occurred only in the past three years, meaning the years he was married to Mrs Lee.”
Namjoon feels himself about to have one of those from the excessive pounding in his chest, he even finds himself hyper ventilating that his own watch notifies him to log in a work out.
“Mhm.” This time the judge takes his time to read the entire paper, giving Namjoon a couple glances here and there.
And even when he’s really on the verge of panicking, he was doing a very good job hiding it,  they could barely tell by his body language and the way he sits. Only when he takes a sip of water or anything, his hands were shaking like crazy.
“Anything else?” The judge asks minutes after. “One last thing sir, the last two pages are bank statements of both mr. Kim and his spouse.”
“Alright, thank you mr. Jung. You did great.” And Hoseok nods before closing the file in front of him, her lawyer finally opens the thick file that’s been concerning Namjoon.
He even turns to look at Hoseok and their eyes meet, Hosok gives him a reassuring nod and sits back to listen to what they have. This is the part Namjoon has been dreading the most.
The judge looks at her lawyer and nods. “Go ahead.”
Namjoon pulls his chair closer to Hoseok’s to see the file that they have a copy of. “Between page 4 and 38 are Mrs. Lee’s testimony sir.”
“Mhm.” The judge also takes his time to read, Namjoon does the same and dives into the papers to scan the entire thing.
The testimony was taken only a couple  weeks ago and it seems like she didn’t include all the details or she probably purposely skipped some, and of course a huge part of it Namjoon could easily deny that it happened. “Mrs. Lee, I take it clearly that you’re accusing Mr. Kim to be abusive and obsessive and alcoholic.”
“Yes your honor.” The lawyer speaks, which makes the judge abruptly flip through the papers and the lawyer immediately speaks. “Sir if you open page 41 you can see that there’s a sealed medical report written by an emergency resident to prove that my client was in fact a victim of abuse.”
The judge rips the sealed envelope that has your signature on it which makes Hoseok stifle a grin, and what’s coming up Namjoon didn’t expect at all.
“Mr. Jung?” The judge passes the paper to Hoseok and he grabs it in his hand,  eyeing it carefully.
It was rigged, and this wasn’t the report you wrote even  when you had your signature on it. The report clearly said that she was presented to the ER with bruises on her upper torso and her back, a cut wound on her forehead and a broken toe.
Namjoon is about to lose his mind, none of this is true and she knows that. Their eyes meet and she immediately looks away and crosses her arms. Zero signs of regret on her face.
“Do you have anything to say?” The judge asks Hoseok, and he nods. “Sure,” He digs into his suit case and takes out a paper to hand it to the judge. “Sir this is data is confidential but she visited the hospital using Mr. Kim’s health insurance, so we were allowed full access to their files, and this is the original report, written by the same doctor on the same hospital, and if you put it side by side for comparison, it’s printed on the same date and time.”
“Agreed.” The judge nods his head and puts both papers aside. “And sir regarding alcoholism, I already presented laboratory tests and Mr. Kim is a social drinker.”
The judge looks at her lawyer and signals him to continue. “On pages 44 and 45 are a witness’ testimony of Mr. Kim seen in a wine cellar with a female aged between 25 and 32, and on the next page is a written report of a video tape that if you allow me to show you.”
“Of course.” The judge agrees and the lawyer turns his iPad towards him to show him the clip of CCTV that  they planned for.
Namjoon can clearly see the video tape and he squints his eyes to see the box of the Legos being put on the floor in the end of the aisle, it was you, and god it shatters his heart that you witnessed something that was meaningless.
“Mr. Jung? I guess you can’t deny a video tape.” The judge grabs his pen and starts writing, Hoseok laughs and shrugs his shoulders. “Watch me do it sir, I’m surprised you still don’t know me.” And the judge laughs too.
Hoseok digs into his suitcase again and takes out a bunch of papers. “Sir this is an order placed by an IP address located in Seoul, which is Mr. Kim’s apartment, the date of this order is in July 28th. And the next paper is Mr. Kim’s flight schedule that week, that clearly shows that he was out of town when this order was placed. And the paper after that is the delivery receipt showing that this package arrived a day prior to the video on the CCTV.”
The judge wasn’t surprised that Hoseok was good at his job, he knew when and how to represent anything that defends his own clients. And the judge was also shocked on how everything was manipulated, showing that Namjoon was set up.
“What are Mrs. Lee’s conditions to this divorce?” The lawyer asks and this is where Hoseok’s heart drops, if they don’t agree on each other’s conditions then the divorce will be transferred to trial and it will take much longer with no guaranteed end.
Namjoon is aware that they have to settle on something, so he grabs a pencil to write down on a small paper to show Hoseok. “I’ve been compromising my entire life and I wouldn’t mind doing it now.”
And Hoseok nods, but still he will try his best to make them agree to Namjoon’s conditions.
“Partial custody slash co parenting, and a 50/50 assets distribution.” The lawyer shrugs his shoulders.
Hoseok speaks without consulting Namjoon. “Partial custody is agreed, assets distribution 80/20.”
Her and her lawyer go through a debate quietly, giving Hoseok the time to glance at Namjoon, he nods his head and whispers. “She’s not getting more than 20.”
“70/30.” The lawyer speaks and Hoseok objects immediately. “No more than 80/20,”
“We need time to negotiate sir.” Her lawyer turns towards the judge to which he agrees immediately. “Mr. Jung please understand that my client is sharing custody, she needs the assets for their son.”
“If she needs the money for the shared custody let my client have it full then.” Hoseok shrugs. “Or zero assets and he’ll give his son the money he needs, it’s either one of those options or 80/20.”
“Mr. Kim, I want you to know that—“
“Sir please, I’m here for Mr. Kim, and if you need anything I’m the one you should talk to, this is what Mr. Kim wants and I was assigned to speak for him.” Hoseok interrupts mainly because he knows Namjoon will give them what they want, but he always made sure that his clients got their desired ends with the least amount of damage.
“75/25 last call.” Her lawyer makes one last offer, Hoseok turns to Namjoon to seek for an answer.
“5 percent is worth like 9 thousand dollars.” Hoseok whispers. “It’s your call.”
“I’ll give her the 25 percent on the spot, but what about the custody?”
“Shared custody, but since it’s her choice she gets to decide what days you can have Jay.” Hoseok puts his pin down. “Let’s settle?”
“Yes.” Namjoon nods, his heart racing more than ever, Hoseok turns to face the lawyer and judge and speaks up. “Agreed.”
“Mr. Kim do you have any debts?” The judge takes out the divorce papers and gets to writing, “No sir.” Namjoon answers right away.
“Mrs. Lee and Mr. Kim, you have agreed on 75/25 assets distribution with shared custody, but the court will decide based on  your profiles and your financial status in order to accept your agreement, is that understood?”
“Yes your honor.” Namjoon and his minutes away to become ex spouse answer at the same time.
“Mr. Kim you have two apartments, on located in Seoul and the other is located in Ilasn am I correct?” The judge asks again and Namjoon agrees.
“Sir if you check the last page on our file, you can see that we hired a real estate agent to evaluate the cost of both apartments.” Her lawyer speaks which makes Namjoon scoff, she’s clearly after his money and he can’t understand why he didn’t realize that before?
Hoseok rushes to open the file to check out the actual price of both properties, opens up his calculator and starts adding and subtracting numbers that are surprisingly big, he grabs out a paper and writes down for Namjoon to read. “25 percent is approximately worth the place in Ilsan and a little over the price of the other car.”
And Namjoon grabs the pen and writes down. “Ok. Let her have the car and the place.”
“Your honor.” Hoseok clears his throat. “I would like to inform you that 25 percent of Mr. Kim’s assets is worth the place in Ilsan and a little under the price of the car she’s driving, Mr. Kim wants to make an offer for Mrs. Lee to have the property and it’s kind of him to offer her the car without paying him what’s left of the car’s price on the market today.”
“What do you say?” The judge looks at her lawyer, who’s already discussing the offer with her.
Namjoon starts thinking months after, Jay will have to fly twice a week to be with his parents, which makes him want to consider a new flight schedule to be able to take him there. He already visits Ilsan repeatedly so it shouldn’t be a problem.
“We agree sir.”
“Alright then, we’re over for today. And in an hour we’ll hopefully have an answer for you.” The judge collects the papers and stands up on his feet. “It was nice to see you again Mr. Jung.” He shakes Hoseok’s hand and leaves the meeting room.
“How are you feeling?” Hoseok rubs Namjoon’s shoulder and he nods. “I can be better.”
“Relax, the hard part is over. It’s going to go just as planned, and we’ll go celebrate back home.” Hoseok winks at Namjoon and grabs out his phone to text you.
“Hey chief”
“We’re on our way home”
“Tell Jungkook to save us some noodles we’re starving :(”
Hoseok knows he sent the message way too early just to tease you and keep you tip toeing, he knows you won’t call or ask, so once he sees the read receipts turn blue he puts his phone back in his pocket. “You wanna go out for a smoke?”
“Yeah.” Namjoon gets up on his feet and leaves the meeting room, the aura was suffocating specially when he senses that he’s being looked at the entire time by her.
Her gaze never left him, deep down in her mind she’s still digging deep, she’s one hundred percent sure that he’s seeing someone else, but she can’t prove anything. And what’s killing her the most is that even when they’re getting a divorce around the same table, she still had a dash of hope that the entire thing will be cancelled.
Both her concrete evidences were rigged and she kind of saw it coming, her father warned her repeatedly that his lawyer was one of the best in the republic.
For a second a thought crosses through her mind and she recalls when she visited the emergency room with her father, she clearly remembers you when you agreed to help them with the rigged report, which when her lawyer found out told them that none of what you said was true, so when he opened the envelope he knew exactly why you lied.
And to be frank, the lawyer her family hired was the cheapest in the market since they’re already broke, so he rigged papers to try and win the case. And speaking of lawyers, another thought crosses her mind, why is Namjoon this close to his lawyer?
Her thoughts are racing back to back, is it possible that you and Namjoon know each other? But oh well, it’s too late for that now.
-
“Did you see their faked medical report?” Hoseok blows out the smoke. “I was so close to laughing.”
“Did you know they were going to manipulate it?” Namjoon leans against the bench and turns off the cigarette he just finished. Hoseok nods right away. “Yeah, I already told Y/N to give me a copy earlier this week, but gosh I wish I told it to the judge before they did.”
“You did great anyway, I’m really impressed, your job suits you like a glove.” Namjoon laughs and Hoseok nods. “I know, but yours was really easy since their lawyer was stupid enough to rig confidential papers.”
“Isn’t that illegal? Shouldn’t he be punished or something?” Namjoon asks out of curiosity. Hoseok blows the last puff of smoke and turns off his cigarette. “Everyone rigs papers in this field, it’s quite fucked up actually. Let’s go to the car and put some cologne on before going back up.”
They rush to their cars and to spray cologne so they could mask away the smell of cigarettes before heading back upstairs to the meeting room.
She’s still there with her lawyer with her arms crossed. Hoseok pulls a chair to sit down and nudges Namjoon. “How did you even marry her?”
Namjoon stifles a laugh and elbows Hoseok before whispering back. “Well, I’m here today because I regret that.”
The judge knocks on the door and enters the meeting room with one single paper in his hand, and considering Hoseok has been in this field for a while know, he knows what this paper means.
“Mr. Kim. Mrs. Lee. The court has made a decision.”
-
You’re in your bathroom vomiting the noodles you forced yourself to eat, it has been over an hour since Hoseok’s message and they’re still not here yet. And Hoseok’s text message with the sad emoji was the trigger you needed for the vomiting parade to start.
“It’s okay.” Yoongi rubs your back and tugs your hair away from your face. “I’ve never seen you this paranoid, you need to give yourself a break.”
“I wish I can, I’m sleep deprived and I haven’t eaten something properly for the past week.”  You stand in front of the bathroom sink and wash your face. “I don’t even know why I’m this nervous, I’m not the one who’s going through the actual divorce.”
“I think it’s because you have something for Joon.” He shrugs, “And you probably haven’t realized that yet.”
“You’re right, I’m still unsure how I feel, maybe that’s why I’m anticipating the entire divorce thing to see how I actually  feel about him.” You open the bathroom door and take a look at the living room, Seokjin and Jungkook are using your game console to play Just dance, and both of them look like actual idiots dancing.
“I wish I could be this careless.” You sigh, Yoongi rubs your shoulders and pulls you into the living room to watch the dumb and dumber dance.
“Are you feeling better?” Taehyung asks. “Do you want me to make you noodles? You’re probably hungry now.”
“No I’m good.” You unscrew your bottle of water and take a sip, He scoots closer to you and wraps his arm around you. “Just so you know, I don’t like seeing you like this.”
“What do you mean?” You pout and he chuckles and pinches your cheek. “I’m used to seeing the strong Y/N who never let anything effect her. You’re a smart successful woman who knows how to handle everything and control her feelings.”
“I’m still human after all. I’m allowed to break character when I’m going through something like this.” You lean your head against his chest. “I hate going through this much stress and sometimes I regret voluntarily going through this.”
“But it’s going to be worth it at the end, I know it.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “You should know it too.”
You hear the door code being clicked and your stomach drops, your face even grows pale and you break into cold sweat, the guys even hear the code being clicked and they pause the game. Your eyes are close to popping out of their socket and your body refuses to function, you can’t get up on your feet since they’re too week so your body lags and decides to stay on the couch.
Yoongi and Jimin get up on their feet and Jungkook and Seokjin who were already dancing are gazing towards the door.
“I’m telling you, I had my blinker on but she still honking behind me, and I ended up flipping her because she was a terrible drier.” Namjoon laughs and high fives Hoseok when they enter the place. “No way, I flipped her off too. But she did get a speeding ticket after, did you see her?” Hoseok laughs back and puts his suit case down on the ottoman near the door.
“Yeah, and she saw us driving past her too.” Namjoon looks towards the living room to see everyone on their feet except you and Taehyung, “What’s up guys?” Hoseok takes off his suit jacket and throws it onto the couch. Complete silence is the answer he gets as everyone is anticipating the answer.
They were all worried equally but hid it from you so well. After all, Namjoon is their friend now and they do care about him and want the best for him.
“You tell us.” Yoongi speaks. “What’s the outcome.”
“O-oh.” Hoseok scratches the back of his head.
You feel your heartbeat an inch away from stopping and you even hold your breath, not only the sad emoji concerns you now, also Hoseok’s reaction was the end of you. You feel each heartbeat taking away a breath from you that you’re slowly starting to get dizzy.
“What?” Jimin’s shoulders sulk in disappointment, Jungkook puts the gaming console down on the coffee table and walks towards Namjoon, “It’s okay hyung, even if didn’t get it today, you will have it eventually.”
“What are you talking about?” Namjoon looks at the youngest, and Jungkook blinks in confusion. “The divorce.”
“But I got the divorce.”  Namjoon’s smile creeps on his face and Hoseok yells right after. “He got it!”
They all cheer excitedly and get up to congratulate Namjoon and Hoseok but you’re still in your spot on the couch, your face fell in your palms when he heard he got it and you’re too overwhelmed to do any reaction. This divorce drained you, but you’re more than happy that it’s over.
Namjoon hugs back Jimin and Jungkook and takes off his suit jacket, his eyes on you when you’re still curled up on the couch with your face in your hands before approaching you and going down on his knees in front of the couch. “Don’t I get a congratulations hug or what?”
You held back the tears of relief and take your hands off of your face and lean in to hug him, burying your face in his neck and wrapping your arms tightly around him. “It’s okay, everything is okay now.” He whispers for only you two to hear and kisses you on the cheek. “I’m so sorry for making you go through this, but believe me I wouldn’t have done it without you.”
“How did it go?” You pull back from the hug, he leans his forehead against yours. “It went great, and now I can finally take you out on proper dates and show you off.”
“Aren’t you going to kiss her or what?” Jungkook plops down beside you on the couch and you roll your eyes. “With you in the room? I’m not so sure.”
“I heard you two fucking before do you think kissing her would matter?” The younger crosses his arms and Jimin plops next to him. “You heard them too? I thought it was only me.”
Namjoon rolls his eyes when Jimin starts imitating you. “Oooh Namjoon, please, don’t stop. Oooh Namjoon you’re so big. But are you though?” He even looks down at Namjoon’s pants, you grab the pillow on the couch next to you and hit Jimin with it repeatedly. “I’m so sorry, I know they’re weird.”
“But you do sound like that though.” Namjoon laughs which makes you hit him with the pillow too.
“Jungkook, go make us something to eat.” Hoseok finally sits down, you nod your head. “Yeah please, I’m hungry too.”
“You didn’t eat yet?” Namjoon tugs your hair off of your face and Jimin answers him. “She did but she ended up vomiting it.”
Namjoon’s heat melts and he pulls you in for a hug again and smothers you with little kisses all over your cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
You hug him back and get up on your feet. “Let’s go get you changed.” You pull him into your bedroom and close the door. “Tell me everything.”
“You know, I’ve never been this happy on a birthday before.” He unbuttons his shirt and takes a seat onto your bed. “Come here.”
You walk towards him and you’re about to sit beside him but he pulls you to sit onto his legs. “Hey, we’ll do anything you want later, but please tell me what happened first.”
He fumbles with the collar of your sweatshirt and gazes down onto your lips before looking onto your eyes. “I gave her the house in Ilsan and her car, and we’re sharing custody of Jay, the judge decided that he’ll stay in Seoul for two weeks and then go to Ilsan for the other two weeks and be with his mother.”
“She doesn’t deserve shit, she had no idea what she had in her hand and she completely lost you.” You scratch the back of his head, he grins and shrugs one shoulder. “Well now I got you.”
You nod your head slowly. “Hmm, you practically didn’t ask me to be your girlfriend yet so I’m guessing you still didn’t get me.”
“Yet?” He laughs and nuzzles his nose against yours before teasing you. “Well, I’m starting to wonder what being single feels like.”
“Oh yeah?” You whisper and hover your lips over his before pulling back. “I don’t think you’ll like it that much.”
“And why is that?” He runs his hands on your thighs, you put your hands over his and get back up on your feet. “Because you won’t get to spend your nights with someone as sexy and as beautiful as I am.”
“Fuck, you’re absolutely right.” He stands up and pulls you in for one single kiss on your lips. “But hey, in my defense, I want it to be special so you’re going to have to be patient.”
“Maybe someone else will beat you to it.” You pull back and grab him out something to wear. “I’ll be waiting for you outside.”
-
His and his ex wife’s family are going crazy in Ilsan, his father fired hers and took everything away from him in a blink of an eye, and all the projects he was working on and that were funded by the Kim’s are on hold and are being handled legally by someone professional.
Mr. Kim was kind enough to not ask for the money they stole back, and he was kind enough to finish her sibling education since some of them considered him like a father or like an uncle.
Her father was going hysterical and he started losing his mind, the projects and the big plans he was working on evaporated in the air in seconds, and of course they’re forcing their daughter to sell the house and the car that she got from the divorce just to be able to fund and cover one of the smallest projects he’s been working on.
But still, it would cover it for less than a year, after that there’s nothing he can do about it.
Namjoon’s family made plans to go visit their son the next day and congratulate him since he’s the one who exposed the other family even when it wasn’t on purpose. And they were going to offer their help on transporting Jay to Seoul and back so he wouldn’t have to take a day off from his job.
Meanwhile you were getting ready to go stay at Namjoon’s for the night, since he insisted and you were never there before, so you agreed and got ready before going there.
The moment you get inside the house, you thought you were going to feel bittersweet about it and about the fact that you were one of the reasons of this divorce. This house once had a housewife and she’s no longer here.
But it’s the exact opposite. Victory tastes so sweet and you don’t feel half bad for her, she’s the villain in his story and she doesn’t even deserve the end she got, she deserves worse.
You see Jay’s scattered toys here and there and something inside you feels greedy, you feel the need to let her know that you’re going to replace her, and that her loss no longer matters.
You feel the need to show her that he’s way happier with someone else, you feel the need to show her that you’re in her house, on her bed.
You throw your top off when you actually feel your body heat up, it’s either you getting horny or your body acting up on the greediness you feel.
“Do you want me to show you around?” Namjoon’s eyes hover down to your tits that still have his love bites on it from two nights ago. “Fuck you’re making it hard for me to focus.”
“Sure, show me around.” You put your top on the couch beside you and walk further inside the house, he gives you a little house tour, showing you the two furnished room that they used to sleep separately in, and both of them are familiar.
One you saw behind him as you video called him for hours. And the other one was the one you saw in your nightmares, similar to every exact detail which makes the hair on your body erect. It was so weird and scary somehow.
“Are you okay?” He stands behind you, wrapping his arms around you to pull you in closer. “Yeah, I’m alright, I love your place.”
“You do?” He whispers, burying his face into your neck to inhale your scent, secretly wishing for you to leave your own scent in his place to replace the old one. Any place that has your scent is like a home to him.
“Mhm.” You giggle when he reaches his hand inside your bra and squeeze onto one of your tits. “Your hands are cold.”
“They are?” He nibbles onto your ear. “Aren’t you tired? Do you want me to give you a massage?”
“Stop, last time your massage ended with a cream pie Joonie, that was cute and shit but we need to be a little more careful.” You laugh and he mirrors your laugh and whispers. “I’ll cum in your mouth this time, or on that beautiful face, what do you say?”
Your panties soak in milliseconds at his words, you let out a hitched breath and clear your throat, you need to say something but he left you speechless. And who are you to actually say no?
“Debatable.” You manage to say and he chuckles before pulling back. “Do you want anything to drink?”
“Wine, or whiskey, your call.” You shrug one shoulder, he presses a kiss onto your shoulder. “How about a couple shots of tequila?”
“You’re totally trying to get me into bed.” You walk out of the bedroom to the kitchen and he follows you. “Me? Of course not.” He feigns innocence and opens the cupboard to grab out the drink and two shot glasses to pour out a couple of shots.
“Here’s to being single again.” You tease him and he rolls his eyes before clinking his shot glass with yours and drinking it in one go and so do you.
“You know I don’t think it could use another shot.” You throw down your shot glass and without thinking, you wrap your arms around his neck and press your lips against his, he immediately kisses back and hugs you into his arms tightly, your tongue already invading his mouth, he carries you up and you wrap your legs around his torso, he walks towards the master bedroom and it seems like he’s on the same page as you are.
He puts you down on her bed and it feels exactly like your nightmare only with different details, he leans towards you and presses his lips against yours, his hand already crawling inside your jeans and panties to rub your pulsating clit in circular motion.
You hum against his lips and move your hand down to palm his cock through his pants, it’s already rock hard which makes you a little less embarrassed that you’re already wet yourself.
“Fuck.” You gasp and your head falls back when he slides in two fingers inside you, he moves down to your neck and chest to print several wet kisses and sucking on other spots to print even more purple hickeys onto your skin.
His fingers slam against your spot as he thrusting them up and down, the tightness in your stomach increases and he feels your cunt clenching around his fingers and he whispers. “You’re gonna cum aren’t you?”
“Mmm, fuck. Yes.” Your hand sits on his shoulder, his lips land against yours again and he shoves in another finger which stops you from kissing back right away. “I’m gonna cum.” You speak with your lips still on his mouth, he curls his fingers against your spot and right when you’re about to cum.
You feel a set of eyes on you.
Your heart drops and suddenly you feel yourself about to lose your consciousness, a silhouette standing right near the bedroom door behind him. Your fight or flight works and you close your legs onto his hands and hold his wrist tightly. “Namjoon stop.”
“Are you okay?” He looks into your eyes and sees that you’re staring somewhere near the bedroom door, he snaps his head to look behind him.
And holy fuck it’s her.
Standing right there near the bedroom door and it’s the same facial expressions you saw in your nightmare.
Even when they’re divorced, she looks lonely and hurt and empty. And of course, betrayed.
 This time not a single inch of regret do you feel, this time it tastes sweet, it tastes like pure victory.
And what you wanted happened right away, you wanted her to see that she’s replaced, and that Namjoon couldn’t care less about her loss, and most importantly..
You wanted her to see you on her own bed, in Namjoon’s arms.
Namjoon’s hand slides out of your pants and he helps you get up onto your feet, totally not ashamed himself, he grabs your hand and walks you out of her bedroom and sit in his.
He takes one last glance at his ex wife and barely hides the disgust he feels towards her. “Take all your stuff. And maybe you should consider knocking next time since you no longer live here.”
You’re all ears anticipating what she would answer but she doesn’t, he walks into his bedroom and slams the door shut on purpose before walking towards you and yanking his shirt off. “Now where were we?”
You knew the man was freaky, but was he freaky enough to have sex with you with his wife in the room next door? He actually is.
And it’s even more arousing to you, you grab him into your arms and press your lips against his, raising your knee up slowly and gently to rub it against his clothed boner, his hand slides into your panties again and this time he slams his three fingers inside you without a warning which makes you hold him tighter into your hands and moan off of the top of your lungs. “Holy fuck.”
The two of you were enjoying the actual thing, and enjoying the fact that she’s in the room next to you.
“Cum for me.” He bites onto your earlobe and curls his fingers against your spot, slamming against it repeatedly, you’re usually talkative in bed but the stimulation got your voice a couple octaves higher.
“Don’t stop.” You breathlessly moan and throw your head back, he licks a long valley from your neck to your chest and proceeds to use his other hand to grab one of your tits out of your bra.
And of course she can hear everything, her attention was drawn away when she saw you topless, and she couldn’t help but to notice the purple kisses onto your breasts. Meaning that you and Namjoon had already done this before and this is not his first night with you.
But she still didn’t have the chance to look you in the face and recall your features.
She walks towards the bed and smells the bed sheets, it’s the exact same smell she picked up from the hospital, and the exact same smell that was on Namjoon’s clothes that night.
She’s a little slow to process the fact that it could be you, but she just needs to take one look to recognize you.
“Oh my god. Joon please-“
She hears through the thin walls, but she decides on ignoring and opening the closet to start packing her stuff. Right when she hears her phone ringing from the living room, she walks out the bedroom and Namjoon does too.
He’s on his way to grab you a bottle of water when their eyes met, she takes one glance inside the bedroom to see you laid down on the bed.
And it takes her a little over two seconds to finally recognize that it’s you.
“I knew you were seeing someone.” She looks at Namjoon in the eyes. “She’s the woman you abandoned your son for, isn’t she?”
“This doesn’t concern you.” He closes the door to his bedroom, but you immediately get up and press your ear against the door.
“She was the doctor who helped Jay, and she was the one that got you the medical report.” She nodded. “Now it all makes sense.”
You knew she knew all along, women know and feel everything going around them.
“I’m not going to argue because this doesn’t concern you.” Namjoon repeats, you open his closet and grab out one of his tops before opening the door.
You look her in the eye with your chest heaving dramatically.
This was something you were anticipating long time ago, you wanted her to know everything. There’s nothing to be afraid of.
199 notes · View notes
joon4eva · 8 months
Text
just the tip? — kim namjoon.
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genre: established relationship au.
summary: you and namjoon are left alone together for a little too long. or: in your childhood home, you learn just how much is really "just the tip" with namjoon.
word count. 3,994 words.
warnings. semi-public sex, namjoon doesn't need much convincing, oral sex (m. receiving) unprotected sex but reader is on birth control, creampie, namjoon takes oc's underwear.
note: happy early bday to our leader who keeps me sane and motivates me to keep living everyday. here is some horny fluff word vomit inspired by all the content we've been getting of namjoon looking delicious in his buzzcut lately. i couldn't resist. pics above are from @rkivsfe ♡
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Namjoon seemed plucked straight from the pages of a classic romance, a perfect gentleman in every sense.
Throughout the day, your parents had been gracious hosts at their house, and Namjoon had gracefully navigated each conversation, his charismatic charm and impeccable manners in full display. 
Yet, it wasn't the refined qualities occupying your mind; rather, it was his freshly buzzed hair and the allure of his domesticated moments – like when he insisted on helping your mother – that made your heart race, feverish heat flooding your core at the thought of creating a home with him someday.
The both of you had never really properly broached the topic of children, especially since you were on birth control. While you had only been dating for two years, discussions of having children had stayed respectfully on the back burner; the decision to wait until marriage, or at least until life was less hectic, appeared sensible to both of you. 
For now, life as it was felt fulfilling.
But lately, as you watched Namjoon tenderly cradle a friend's baby or playfully chase nieces and nephews at family gatherings, you began to see the appeal of having a family with Namjoon. It was hard not to want it sometimes. 
It took every ounce of restraint not to lunge at him right there, an insatiable hunger bubbling within, barely contained. 
And when the rest of your family continued to mingle in the backyard, that was the moment you decided it was time to make your move. 
Namjoon's eyes narrowed perceptively, instantly detecting the undercurrent of mischief in your stride. 
Your smile, wide and radiant, was Oscar-worthy enough to mask your ulterior motives from everyone else; however, Namjoon could see right through your seemingly innocent offer of showing him a 'tour' of your childhood bedroom.
Determinedly, you grasped his arm firmly and practically dragged him up the staircase of your parents’ house and up to your old room located at the far end of the second-floor hallway.
To his credit, Namjoon nearly fell for your act. 
He attentively followed along while you animatedly led him around the room; pointing out the remnants of your teenage years evident in the faded posters of pop bands adorning the walls, a meticulously arranged collection of Studio Ghibli figurines that adorned shelves, and a colorful assortment of plush toys scattered about.
Golden sunlight pours through the window, playing on the sparkle in your eyes as your sundress embraces every curve. Beneath Namjoon’s clothes, a nagging ache intensifies, matched by the growing warmth and strain in his pants as he admires your radiance.
Slowly, time seemed to suspend itself, while the walls in your room appeared to close in on you both. Soon enough, you found yourselves standing face-to-face, completely absorbed by each other's presence.
“You okay?” you ask in a hushed tone.
Namjoon's eyes sparkle with mischief, his eyes shamelessly lingering on your figure. The corners of his mouth turn up in a cheeky grin.
"I know what you’re thinking." 
Brows knitting together, you blink in feigned innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about," you murmur, eyes evading his as your arms cross protectively.
“Oh, of course. You were just so eager to show me your room,” he states matter-of-factly. 
Namjoon’s grin grows wider as he confidently strides closer, hands casually tucked in his pockets. “Nothing more to it, right baby?” 
What a fucking tease.
Warmth creeps up your cheeks as nervous laughter bubbles up, eyes avoiding his penetrating stare – Namjoon always had an uncanny ability to read you like an open book.
It was something that instantly made heat bloom between your thighs.  And when he was looking at you like that, it was impossible to hide anything from him. 
He tilts his head and studies you with an arched brow. “You have that look.”
“What look?”
“The bedroom eyes. I’ve seen it before.”
“I do not!” you manage to choke out, the words nearly vanishing from your throat.
Namjoon just chuckles, disarmingly smug. “Hm. If you say so.”
Within moments, you uncross your arms and navigate the remaining distance, your hands coming up to explore the contours of his body – fingertips slipping under his shirt, feeling the muscles tensing in his back before coming around and daintily migrating northward across his chest.
Namjoon leans down, claiming your lips with a fleeting kiss. "We probably shouldn't," he breathes out softly against your parted lips.
"Hmmm," you pout. "And why not?"
Not waiting for an answer, your lips continue their exploration – slowly moving from his lips, tracing the angles of his jaw, and dancing between gentle nibbles and fervent suction.
Beneath his shirt, your fingers tease his chest, leaving light scratches before brushing against his sensitive nipples.
It only took seconds before you could feel how hard and ready Namjoon was, as his skin burned hotter beneath your touch and his breaths grew shallow.
Trying to suppress a groan and maintain some level of composure, Namjoon bites down on his lip and whispers your name with an unsteady voice. 
"Your family is literally downstairs."
“They’re actually outside.”
Smiling mischievously, you return your attention to him by licking a slow stripe from his neck to the sensitive spot just below his ear – a place you’ve discovered he particularly enjoys being teased.
“I can’t promise I’ll want to stop at just kissing,” he warns with equal parts desperation and plea – a last attempt at cracking your resolve as his hands reflexively grip your waist in a manner both possessive and protective.
“And what?” you breathe out, each word soft and slow, a challenge in disguise. “Where would you want to stop?”
“I won’t.” 
Softening your gaze, you allow your lips to ghost over his. “Then don't hold back,” you whisper, pressing a tender kiss to the corner of his mouth.
His heated gaze flickers across every inch of you – taking in your expression, the way your body presses against his. You couldn't resist further taunting him. 
Your hands slide down his chest and towards the belt loops of his jeans, giving them a playful tug before swiftly moving to unbutton them.
It’s at this moment that Namjoon seems to snap out of his haze.
His lust-addled stupor evaporates like lifting fog, replaced by a rush of clarity where the lines between right and wrong become difficult to blur.
Suddenly decisive, he intercepts your wandering hands with a firm but gentle hold. 
“____. No.”
“I’ll be quiet,” you promise him, a sultry smirk playing on your lips, both tempting and dangerous.
“Baby. We are not fucking in your parents’ house—especially in broad daylight.”
"Oh, Joonie…" you sigh lovingly, pressing a tender and lingering kiss to the small mole just below his lip.
"Always such a gentleman. Holding my hand, praising me in front of my parents, even charming my mom... You don’t wanna fool around with me here?" 
Namjoon's mouth opens as if to protest further, but any words that threaten to come out are swallowed up by a groan that he struggles to stifle at the sensation of you swiftly tugging down his jeans and boxers, just enough for you to wrap your warm, tight hand around his thick length.  
"You’re…s-seriously out of your mind. We…we really shouldn't," he manages to utter, each word strained by the effort he puts into maintaining control – his dark eyes burning with barely restrained desire.
You pause your movements and look into his eyes. "We can make it quick. I promise I'll be quiet."
But you knew Namjoon had always preferred taking things slow, savoring every moment, especially during sex with you. He was never really a fan of rushing, and you learned along the way he was big on foreplay. 
Yet seeing you present yourself before him like a priceless treasure, accompanied by batting those alluring, pleading eyes at him, Namjoon can't help but consider going against his instincts for once – if only for five fleeting minutes.
“I knew you didn’t want to bring me up here just to—Fuck, hold on. Wait,” he stammers, suddenly remembering, “I– I don’t have any condoms. Well, I didn’t bring any, for obvious reasons.”
An awkward silence settles between you two as the unspoken question lingers, and you gaze into his eyes, searching for an answer.
His eyes widen just a fraction when he realizes what you’re silently asking. 
“God, are you…—? No," he says firmly. "Absolutely not."
"But I've been on birth control for years!" you whine.
Namjoon closes his eyes briefly and exhales sharply, tension radiating from his clenched jaw.
“Babe,” he utters with a heavy sigh.
"Namjoon," your voice is barely audible as you breathe the plea into the curve of his neck, the warm air causing a shiver of desire to course through him. 
Your thumb glides across the tip of his cock, smearing the glistening pearl of pre-cum that gathers from the tip.
Your lips begin to trail gentle kisses along the length of his throat, all while teasingly drawing the tip of your fingers up and down his shaft.
Namjoon's breath catches in response to your touch, gasping as he involuntarily thrusts upwards to meet your hand.
“What about ‘just the tip’?” you whisper. “Isn’t that something that guys like to do?”
“Well… I-I’m paranoid and we should be careful,” he stammers out. “It only takes one time, you know. Can’t this wait until we get home?” 
Noticing his faltering resolve, your lip catches between your teeth to suppress a sly grin. Wordlessly, you slowly sink to your knees in front of him. 
He watches transfixed as your tongue traces a slow path up the engorged vein of his cock, pausing to swirl around the head before taking him fully into your warm mouth.
Namjoon emits a soft groan - hands delicately cradling your jaw - while your cheeks hollow and your head begins to bob rhythmically, dewy eyes peeking out from beneath your lashes to watch him.
His head falls back and his eyes squeeze shut, fighting to restrain a moan as desire shoots through him like wildfire, fuelling your own craving for him even more fervently. 
You could sense him teetering on the edge, his self-restraint waning with each moment until, in one deft motion, he withdraws from your mouth just enough to stagger back, hoisting you up by your arms and steering you backwards until the mattress edge halts against your knees and topples you onto it. 
“You’re fucking shameless, you know that?” he pants, scrambling to shove his pants further down and stepping between your legs, holding his hard cock and leaning over you.
Below him, you giggle and hurriedly push your dress up, sliding your panties down and kicking them aside.
Grabbing your wrists, he pulls them over your head and pins them there.
And as his body aligns with yours – his strong chest firm against your breasts, his crotch deliciously nestled between your thighs – every last drop of doubt vanishes from both of your minds. 
Under the sultry gaze of his darkened eyes, he grips your face, his large hands cupping your delicate cheeks, thumbs tenderly caressing the soft skin. 
Your mouths meet urgently; his lips hungrily pressing against yours to lick and tug at your bottom lip, expertly swallowing every stifled sound that begs release.
"Joon," you murmur tenderly against his parted lips, pausing between kisses. "Touch me, please."
Your honeyed pleas don't go unanswered; Namjoon's hands swiftly comply with your demand, gently pulling down the elastic neckline of your dress far enough to let your breasts spring free. 
"Such a tease, wearing this," Namjoon grunts, grabbing a fistful of your dress, "fuck."
His eyes darken at the sight before him: your dress invitingly pooled at your waist, thighs parted and slightly glistening from your arousal visible even to him. It was nearly impossible for him to deny you anything at all when you pleaded with that breathy, needy tone.
His lips move with purpose, trailing a series of warm, sweet kisses across your collarbone, down to the valley between your breasts – lingering just long enough to elicit a breathy gasp before grazing your stiff nipples with feather-light nips. 
You struggle to bite back any gasping moans – honoring the promise you hastily made earlier – with only the softest sighs escaping your pursed lips.
“Feels good?" Namjoon murmurs softly, his hand navigating the space between your bodies to trace delicate circles around your throbbing clit.
"God, you're soaking wet already and I've hardly touched you."
Desperately trying to maintain silence, you find your hips moving instinctually in rhythm with the sinfully slow motions of his long fingers. They gather your slickness, teasingly near your dripping entrance with one finger before returning upward to trace unhurried, deliberate circles on your clit again with two fingers. 
“Wanna come first?”
Your bottom lip captured between your teeth, you shake your head.
"Can we… Can you pull out?" breathlessly escapes from your lips.
He groans your name gently, punctuating his words with a delicate nip on your jawline. "What happened to 'just the tip'?"
"I changed my mind," you whine weakly, stifling a frustrated groan when his fingers stop their movements.
Namjoon's chuckle against your skin is light and teasing. "My greedy girl,” he coos affectionately against your lips before pressing a lingering kiss on the corner of your mouth. 
“Wonder what your parents would think if they knew that right now, their precious daughter was up here with me, legs spread wide and begging for me like this? Hmmm?" 
His dirty words make you choke on a barely suppressed moan, but you do nothing to discourage him.
He doesn't pull his fingers away from your aching core – instead, he bends down to lick them clean before gently pressing them back inside of you.
“Please, just please, can we…” your voice falters as it dissolves into unintelligible murmurs, desperate for relief, desperate for him to fill you up the way you want. 
"So needy," Namjoon chuckles softly at your struggle for coherence; swiftly replacing his fingers with the head of his cock. 
"You’re sure about this?" he whispers hoarsely, the feel of him nudging at your entrance sending already rioting butterflies into overdrive.
Your hands instinctively slide over the firm contours of his backside, urging him closer as your hips rock against his. “Wanna feel you. All of you,” you softly mewl in his ear.
A primal growl emerges from Namjoon’s throat before he nips lightly at the tender flesh of your neck. “So filthy.”
Namjoon finally pushes inside of you, inch by torturous inch, until he’s buried to the hilt inside of you, slowly filling and stretching you in a way that makes your legs shudder and lock around his waist. 
His hips still, giving you time to get adjusted, or perhaps in an attempt to try to steady himself. 
He nuzzles into your neck, spreading his warm breath all over the soft skin there, nudging aside the fabric of your dress to press a kiss to your bare shoulder.
Your arms come up to wrap around his neck, fingers dancing across his freshly trimmed head, massaging and scratching softly at his scalp.
Your hips slightly roll to guide him deeper, enticing him to start moving. 
It's sheer, unadulterated bliss as he pumps into you, filling you up in perfect harmony with your own unsteady breaths.  
It feels even better than you thought – so warm and wet and snug around him, nothing has ever felt as good in your life. 
Out of all the things you and Namjoon have tried, this was something that you just haven’t done. 
And now you know you were ruined.
Ruined for using a condom ever again with this man. Your pulse is pounding so hard against your ears that it seems impossible to focus on anything else at this moment but him and how good it feels to have him bare inside of you. 
"You feel so fucking good, baby," Namjoon breathes hotly against the column of your throat. "So tight around me."
He’s fucking into you agonizingly slow and deep; his movements are deliberate and unhurried, each deep, slow stroke filling the air with your muffled moans and the wet sounds of your slick bodies every time his hips snap up against yours.
His hand entwines with yours, palm-to-palm above your head, while his other arm holds you closer by the thigh curled around his waist.
Enveloped in a sensuous fog where your senses blur and bend, you feel him gradually quicken his pace, each thrust growing more intense.
Namjoon nuzzles his face into your neck, soft moans vibrating against your skin. 
Teasingly, his pulsating shaft glides out completely – slow, torturously slow – pausing just before thrusting back in; filling you completely, his tip applying pressure to a hidden sweet cluster of nerves within you that ignites an uncontrollable tightening around him.
An unfamiliar sound escapes from your throat – a strange mixture of a whimper and his name – and he gasps before laughter takes over. His hand comes up to quickly muffle your sounds.
"Babe," he warns between giggles and gasps for air. "You promised you'd be quiet." 
“But—” your weak rebuttal trails off as warmth spreads across your face and tears gather at the corners of your eyes. “B-but it’s just so… F-feels… so…”
"Shhh, I know," he whispers tenderly against your mouth.
Namjoon’s hand trails from the curve of your thigh to weave through your hair, tightening at the back of your head and pulling you into another heated, sloppy kiss. 
“Doing so well for me,” Namjoon whispers between kisses. “Taking it all.” More kisses. Rougher and wetter. “S-so pretty… so fucking pretty wrapped around me like this.” 
With each impassioned stroke, you cling to him; muffled moans of his name escaping between breathless kisses as waves of warmth wash over you. 
"Want you to come... come inside, Joon, please," you softly plead.
Ardor begins to strain at every seam, your sweet plea threatening to shatter Namjoon's restraint, nearly sending him over the edge.
“Yeah? You close, baby?”
Your eyelids grow heavy, closing tightly as your head fervently bobs in agreement, words failing you.
To this, Namjoon plunges into you with a growl. His cock kisses your g-spot, again and again – and his face is a canvas of pure ecstasy as he thrusts forcefully, his hips colliding with yours while he drives himself even deeper, almost as if he was working to etch himself into your very being. 
Your teeth press into his shoulder to muffle your sobs, while your hands frantically wander— sliding under his shirt to rake at the damp skin of his back or bunching at the wrinkled sheets, desperately searching for something to ground you as he pounds into you, each powerful motion stealing more breath from your lungs. It’s a drawn-out, slow rolling orgasm that he drags out of you.
He fucks you through your climax; deep, steady thrusts that makes your legs quiver and your eyes lose focus as they roll back. 
A low, guttural moan suddenly escapes him as warmth begins to flood every nook and cranny within you, occupying and filling every gap.
The pulsating of the thick vein lining the underside of his cock throbs with each burst of his release, while your own walls tenderly constrict around him.
Your vision is consumed by whiteness as your eyes clench shut from the sheer force of shared euphoria, your mind wonderfully blank.
And then, stillness. 
He stays buried inside you, his large frame forming a protective shield around your body, like a giant blanket swaddling you both.
His nose gently nestles against the side of your neck, as the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest comes to match yours, slowly and peacefully. Your legs are still wrapped snugly around his waist, your hand tracing slow, lethargic circles on his back beneath his shirt.
“Holy shit,” you breathe in elation, “we should do that more often.”
Namjoon huffs out a laugh. Carefully shifting his weight, he hovers above you, hands on either side of your shoulders. “That good?”
“Yeah,” you exhale with a grin. “Really good.” “Really good,” he echoes with a laughter that dances at the edges of his eyes and alights the depths of his dimples.
And you laugh, too, delightfully dizzy and slightly sticky with perspiration as the sun spills through the window's gaps, rays of golden syrup bathing you in warmth.
Namjoon presses a fleeting but tender kiss to your mouth and gently pulls out of you, leaving a lingering emptiness and a sweet ache in your core that lingers.
His eyes curiously wander down to the apex of your thighs and you watch as his hand wanders down to pry your legs apart, his fingertips holding them open as he watches the warm, viscous fluid of his cum slowly form a trail from your entrance. He traces a gentle finger through the slick aftermath, a satisfied hum resonating as your body shudders with blissful oversensitivity. 
In this proximity, he bends down to place a tender kiss on the side of your jaw, with words that now flow like honey. “Think we could make that a priority,” he murmurs.
He follows up with another feathery kiss directly upon your lips - an almost chastely innocent smile dancing across his features, almost sinfully ironic.
You find yourself grinning in response to his obvious overture before letting your hand wander lower on his back.
Slowly, deliberately, almost flirtatiously, it reaches and gropes his rear end. "So would you be open to round two then?" you tease playfully as your fingers pinch just enough for him to know you're serious.
Namjoon’s immediate reaction is priceless – a jolt forward accompanied by an adorably indignant yelp as he tries (and fails) to hide his surprise at your boldness. All he can do is shake his head at you in disbelief before giving in once more to laughter. 
Eventually regaining some composure, he chides you gently by flicking your forehead with one finger, mimicking chastisement but betraying nothing but affection. You feign complete agony with a comically exaggerated moan and grip to your forehead, earning another round of laughter from Namjoon.
“Jesus, baby,” he says, exhaling a heavy breath, forcing a laugh. “You’re going to kill me.”
He shifts to a seated position on the mattress next to you before standing up, his back straight and his movements curiously graceful for someone so tall.
Your gaze follows him, transfixed as he grasps the edges of his boxers and jeans, lifting them back over his lean hips. 
You have to internally curse at how his shirt clings to him like a second skin, accentuating his broad form as he calmly fastens each button, the muscles in his biceps rippling subtly in the process.
This simple act (an undoubtedly mundane and ordinary action) transforms into a hypnotizing display just by virtue of it being Namjoon. 
Shifting your position slightly, you slide the straps of your dress back into place, readjusting the elastic neckline to cover your chest.
Propped up on your elbows, your eyes dart around for your missing panties.
Namjoon seems to be almost telepathic in this moment, glancing over and catching your eye.
Realizing what you're searching for, a playful smirk forms on his lips.
He bends down to retrieve your underwear from its hiding spot on the floor and rather cheekily shoves it into his pocket instead of handing it to you.
Feigning irritation, you huff as he saunters victoriously across the room towards the bedroom door with his stolen trophy secured in his pocket. 
“Namjoon,” you protest, now sitting up completely. “I need those!”
"You can have them back later," he calls over his shoulder as he begins opening the door. 
The curve of his lips breaking into a gentle smile as he adds, "Let's go home. And don't worry, love - I'll keep these safe for you."
As if to emphasize his point, he gives the pocket safeguarding your panties a delicate pat - one last playful jest before disappearing beyond the doorway.
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