#bullshit by brittany

[unholybinchicken]

sancedes roasting finn in 2x12 and will in 2x14 your honour they are besties

#sancedes #santana lopez #mercedes jones #no fr aside from brittany mercedes was the only glee person who actually gave santana a chance #rachel kiiiinda did but it was all bullshit and quinn screwed her over and fucking slapped her for being concerned about marley #i love sancedes and their friendship so so much

[astroph1les]

maroon [h.c]

summary: hazel’s fight with tucker made you realize how much she means to you. caretaking and ass-kicking ensues.

pairing: hazel callahan x fem!reader

contains: mature language, violence and blood, reader has a slight panic attack, attentive and kind! reader, making out (for the distraction of course) mutual pining, sweet and fluffy, hurt/comfort (my weakness), women being bad-asses.

word count: 3.5K

a/n: this is both a request and won a poll. that scene still makes me wince to this day. and yes, the title is a taylor swift song. the lyrics, though, have nothing to do with the actual oneshot. i love you all and enjoy <33

You had told Hazel that agreeing to this would be a bad idea. After Tim had approached Hazel with the chance to humiliate PJ and Josie in front of the entire school at the pep rally before the big game, you got a bad vibe from it.

The sound of Tucker’s foot kicking Hazel’s eye echoed ferociously in your head.

It all happened so quickly, you could barely process seeing Hazel’s limp body on the ground. The sight made your stomach turn as you shot up from your seat in the bleachers to check up on Hazel. You glared in the direction of Tim and Jeff and that fucking psychopath Tucker— who you were pretty sure was a thirty year old man.

Everything had already been so tense in the group after PJ had humiliated Hazel in front of everyone. Finding out that PJ and Josie had started the group to get with Isabel and Brittany was an eye-opener to what their true intentions were.

This crossed the fucking line.

You were running over to her still frame, trailing right behind Isabel. You kneeled down next to her ribs, a bit of her blood getting on your jeans but you really couldn't care less.

“Hazel,” you whisper her name, wincing at the sight of her bleeding eye.

No response.

Panic settled in you as Stella and Brittany began to lift her body. Your eyes watered as you covered your mouth at her now blood-stained collared shirt.

“Is that true?” You heard Isabel ask PJ and Josie who had also come down from the bleachers as the staff and the rest of the students dispersed. Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. “That’s why you started this?”

You whipped your head to the two girls, eyes flaring with anger and hurt for Hazel.

Josie immediately began to protest.

“N-no, not entirely—“

“Not entire—Okay.” PJ cut her off loudly. “Listen guys. It doesn’t matter…the reason that we started this.”

You felt your skin itch with fury as you watched them drag Hazel’s body out of the gymnasium. You couldn't even listen to whatever bullshit excuse PJ had to say anymore. Sylvie began to walk away as did you and Isabel.

All you could focus on was if Hazel was okay.

The next few days, you didn’t leave Hazel’s side. You were at the hospital that same night at one in the morning with Mrs. Callahan in the waiting room and by her bedside when she came out of getting blood tests and prescribed medications. When the group would go over to her house and spend a few hours after school being attentive and showing support, you would stay the night tending to her wounds.

It was night three and the swelling had just begun to deflate, her eye revealing itself just a bit. Mrs. Callahan had been really understanding about you spending the nights as much as you knew you were intruding. She had pulled you aside after the second night to tell you how much she appreciated you and everyone else staying by her side.

Especially you — for a reason she didn’t disclose to.

You were crouched down next to Hazel’s bed, helping her with the eye drops that were prescribed by the doctor. Hazel was wearing one of her grandpa sweaters and a pair of sweatpants. Splotches of red, purple and yellow covered her entire face.

“Hold on, Haze.” You leaned in a little closer to her face to focus on the little opening of her eye.

Hazel had been fidgeting the entire night and you had no idea what had made her this way. She muttered an apology before sucking in a deep breath. You were gently cupping the unswollen side to give you leverage.

You pretended not to notice her untouched eye flicker to your dry lips.

“Are you okay?” Hazel asked as you held the dropper right above the swollen skin.

You merely hummed in response as you were focused on her eye. Hazel waited until you put the instructed amount into the dry eye, making sure they all got in. You couldn’t risk her getting infection.

“Are you sure?” She pressed again.

You set the dropper down onto the tray full of doctor prescribed pills and remedies for her abrasions. Your brows furrowed as you held an expression of disbelief.

“Haze, I— why are you asking me if I’m okay when you got the shit beat out of you?” You emphasized, chuckling in disbelief.

“I know but—“

“Seriously. If it wasn’t for this fucking club, this wouldn’t have happened to you, Haze.” You expressed with more irritation laced in your tone.

You admit that you haven’t been getting the most sleep since the event; maybe three or four hours at best. Your mind was clouded with worry for Hazel’s well being.

What if Tucker gave her a concussion that would damage her brain forever? What if she went into a coma? What if she dies in her sleep?

Okay, and you also tended to overthink.

“Hey,” Hazel’s tone was gentle with a hint of stern attitude.

You hadn't realized that hot tears were leaving your tired eyes. You had been so busy taking care of Hazel that you hadn’t fully processed what had happened to her. Not a single tear had left your face until now.

“He could’ve really hurt you, Haze.” You whisper, raising your hand to wipe away the tears from your hot cheek.

Hazel remained silent as she knew deep down that Tucker could’ve done a lot more damage than she had received. She just didn't think that you cared this much about her; let alone cry for her pain. She noticed your chest rising and falling faster than she’s ever seen in her entire life. Your bottom lip quivered as you attempted to hold back the burning tears that were threatening to leave your eyes.

“I know but I’m doing okay. You’ve helped a lot, okay? More than I could ever ask for.” Hazel reached for your shaking hand, taking it gingerly into her grasp.

You nod, not trusting yourself to talk as your throat ached from how much you were resisting to let yourself cry. Hazel sat up slowly, her back aching and cracking from being inactive all day.

“Hazel, the doctor said to refrain from sitting upright.” You begin to scold her but she waves her hand at you.

“I’m okay. I-I’m fine.” Hazel shut her eyes, letting out a grunt as she adjusted her body so that she was leaning up against her bed frame.

You reach forward to push her falling strands out of her face, frowning at her wincing.

“Has PJ or Josie—“

“No.” You remark, refraining from rolling your eyes. You already knew where that question was going and still had a grudge against the two.

What hurt the most that you knew Hazel was going to forgive them; specifically PJ. You knew that they didn't hurt her directly but none of this would’ve ever happened if the club never existed. Then again, you never would’ve become friends without the club.

You would’ve still been just admiring her from afar as you passed through the halls.

“Why did you stay here?” Hazel hummed.

You suck in a deep breath as you continue the night routine as normal. You grabbed the tube of ointment and began to apply it to the slit on her high cheekbones.

“I didn't like the thought of you being alone during this.” You admit, hoping it didn't sound so smitten. “I am your friend, you know? I care about you.”

Hazel’s eyes followed the natural arch of your eyebrows and slope of your nose as you spoke. You knew you looked tired but it was truly the least of your worries.

“I know. Now, at least.” Hazel replied, her gaze finally locking on your lips.

“You didn't think I cared?” The dip between your brows depended on her confession.

“It’s nothing against you. I never really had good friends before. It’s nice to not have shitty friends for a change.” Hazel shrugs her shoulders, fiddling with a loose string on her pants.

“You deserve good friends, Haze. You deserve so much.” You express, your voice keeps a gentle yet passionate volume.

The thought of Hazel getting mistreated all her life made your chest ache. Her eyes were darting all over your features as you pulled your hand away from her aching face.

“Well, thank you for all of this.” Hazel replied, not knowing how to take all of your kind words.

You breathe out: “Yeah, of course, Haze.”

You almost missed how she began to lean into your body. You cleared your throat as a tension fell over you guys. You stood up from the bed, brushing your messy hair out of your face.

“I’ll head to bed now. Goodnight, Hazel.” You nod, turning your back to her as you couldn't have her see you so bothered by the fact that she had leaned into you.

You didn't want to have high hopes but they were there. Way, way, up there. Fucking cloud nine up there.

But it wasn’t right. Not yet.

The Huntington versus Rockridge game arrived faster than you could comprehend. You were wedged between Annie and Hazel, waiting patiently for the game to start.

Her eye swelling had completely gone down at that point to where she just had deep brushing all over her pale features. You were happy to see her darling blue eyes once again. Mrs. Callahan insisted that you two come to the game. You were reluctant but maybe it could be something better to do other than sulk around and be annoyed at Josie and PJ.

As the announcer began to cheer on the Vikings, you noticed Josie and PJ walking up the bleachers, stopping right in front of Hazel. Your eyes rolled as you waited to see what they were going to say.

“Okay, first off, PJ has something to say to Hazel, so…” Josie starts, panting through her words.

You stare at PJ along with Sylvie, Annie and Hazel. Her jaw drops, not knowing what to say exactly.

“The apology. Do the apology. Do the apology we said.” Josie muttered to her in a rushed tone.

“Okay! I’m sorry that I called your mom a skank.” PJ exclaimed.

When Hazel merely sighed and avoided her gaze, PJ continued. “And I’m sorry for saying that you have no friends really loud in front of all of your friends.”

Hazel looked down, glancing over at you as PJ could tell she still wasn’t satisfied with her apology.

“And I’m sorry for being an asshole a lot of the time.”

You and Annie give her ‘really?’ looks when she says a lot of the time.

“Most of the— All of the time!” She finalizes.

Josie hums in agreement with her best friend.

“And I do think that it's nice you always have notes and then you type them up and email them to everyone…” Hazel rolls her eyes with an attitude because she knows that they’re helpful. You’ve told her this a million times before. “And I really appreciate it.”

Hazel stares at her blankly for a moment, trying to process what she was going to say.

“Do you forgive me?”

Hazel’s smile creeps onto her lips as she nods with a soft ‘yes’. You send PJ a forced grin before paying attention to whatever Josie was talking about. Something about the Huntington players targeting a single player on the Rockridge team and how you all needed some sort of distraction to save the players.

“Oh, now you want a bomb?” Hazel smirks at the opportunity to blow shit up.

You would be lying to yourself if you said your bruised features didn't make her more attractive to you. You had followed Hazel and the group regardless of your feelings towards PJ as honestly, you didn't have anything better to do.

They still were your friends.

You and Hazel were crouched behind the tree across the yard as she had formulated some sort of bomb out of the blue. Where the hell did she even get this shit?

“Is it the red wire?” Hazel said out-loud, uncertainty laced in her voice. “Shit, or is it the yellow?”

You stare at her in shock.

“You don’t know?” You whisper-shouted at her.

“I-I get them mixed up. Fuck.” Hazel replied back in a panic.

Just then, you hear Annie shout from across the field that the game was about to start. Hazel glanced up at you as she hurriedly guessed which wires connected to one another and grabbed your hand in hers. You blushed as she tugged you along, sprinting across the field.

You did not wear the right bra for this.

The two of you jumped into the group's presence, your arm dripping over Hazel’s back as you all ducked from the expected explosion. After a few seconds of silence, you and Hazel looked up to the tree to see it was still intact.

“Hazel, it's not working.” Annie tapped her shoulder.

“Fuck. Fucking…” Hazel grabbed the remote, releasing your grasp to aim it at the explosive.

“Maybe try turning it on and off again?” You suggest as you stare at the metal antena.

Everyone was clamoring over Hazel to see what went wrong. You hear the crowd grow more and more in volume as the football team and cheerleaders begin to hip-thrust.

“Okay, Plan B, we get the cheerleaders to make out.” Annie stated as she got up and jogged over to the squad.

“What?” You ask in disbelief, trailing after her as did the rest of the group.

“Guys! Guys, kiss each other!” You shout over, making crude motions along with PJ, Annie and Sylvie.

Hazel had run up top to the bleachers, shouting at them to makeout from there. It was no use. Isabel and Brittany were still upset with PJ and Josie, ignoring their requests entirely. You groaned as you noticed the Huntington team begin to make their way onto the field.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you muttered before you feel someone shove your shoulder.

It was PJ.

“Go and make out with Hazel.” She instructed, jerking her head up to the bleachers.

“Wha—“

“Just go! Hurry!” PJ was now full on pushing you now, staring at Hazel who had seemed to give up on the cheerleaders.

You run as fast as your legs can take you, calling her name from the distance. You’ve never made out with someone before and this is how it was going to happen?

Fuck it.

Hazel turned to you, asking: “What do we do?”

You grabbed the side of her head, pulling her into a messy kiss. Her hands gripped onto your biceps through your navy sweater, trying to go along with your jagged movements. You could hear Annie telling everyone to ‘look!’ as the slobbery mess became a sensual kiss.

You inhale as you feel Hazel take the reins, gripping your face to show you how to control your jaw. Her tongue ever so slightly grazed your bottom lip, humming at the feeling.

Was she always this good of a kisser? Who the hell has she been hooking up with?

The makeout turned into soft gentle kisses, your smile growing as you pulled her in closer.

“Oh, wait. I’m gay!” You hear Stella-Rebecca say as you pull away with a sigh from Hazel’s experienced lips.

Hazel tugs you back in with a grip on your face, seeming to completely forget about why you were even making out in the first place. Her cold rings dug into your cheeks making you crave more and more of her.

Me fucking too, Stella.

The announcer calls the attention back to the game that people came for, causing you and Hazel to pull away with a soft smack. Her hand was at your waist now, both of you staring at the field of players. You pull away, letting out a nervous chuckle as you begin to walk back down to the track field surrounding the football one.

Hazel followed behind you, seeming to be out of it as much as you were. You had not been listening to a goddamn word PJ was saying as you thought about Hazel’s hands on your face and her tongue in your mouth.

How can you move on from this?

“They kissed on the mouth,” Sylvie stated cheekily, pointing at your flushed figures. “With tongue.”

“Okay, yeah. It was for the good of the school so if anyone is asking, we’ll do it again.” You quip back, trying not to make it seem like a big deal when all you wanted to do was have her back on you again.

Josie turned to you guys, suddenly realizing what Sylvie had said. “When did this happen?”

“There were no other distractions! The bomb didn't work.” You protested.

“They’re gonna spray the field.” Annie muttered.

You would’ve missed it if she didn’t repeat it in a much panicked and louder tone.

“We’re gonna have to run.”

“Fuck, more?” You complained as you ran beside Hazel, the insides of your thighs burning from how fast you were sprinting.

You had kicked one of the players away from Jeff, a flood of adrenaline running through you. Fuck, that felt good.

Josie had taken Jeff into her grasp, tugging him up and off of the grass. PJ had her hands over the sprinkler, ready for the pineapple juice to spray everywhere. You stare across the field at the group of Huntington players, eyes widening in a panic. Stella, Isabel, and Brittany joined by the group's side, too, staring down the rivals.

Were you really going to beat the fuck out of the rival football team with the girl you’ve been crushing on and just made out with? To save Jeff nonetheless?

The main player in the middle removed his helmet, staring the group down. He began to scream at the group which resulted in the group screaming back. You saw a large man run up to you, swinging his leg to your chest.

You dodge the force and grab his calf, twisting it clockwise to hear a loud crunch before grabbing onto his helmet guard and throwing him off of you. You feel a blow to your back to see another yellow jersey player, his helmet in hand.

“Fucking asshole!” You scream before throwing a kick to his crotch and throwing a punch to the middle of his face, blooding seeping onto your knuckles.

You don’t know exactly how so much blood got on you. It had all been one huge blur up until you saw Hazel getting punched in the stomach.

You ran over with a shout as you swung a hard punch into his cheek to throw him off guard. Hazel ended it with a kick to the ribs and another punch to the jaw before he fell to the ground.

Your entire body was aching and Hazel looked so weirdly attractive covered in blood.

“Are you okay?” Hazel asked as gently as ever as she grabbed onto your wrist, leading you to the rest of the group.

“Yeah,” you pant, feeling a burning sensation run up your spine. Definitely not. “I’m okay.”

You had blood splattered all over your blue jeans, running up the sleeve of your sweater with a few dots here and there on your face. There was a collective silence when everyone realized how much damage they had done.

You slowly turn toward the crowd of peers and adults, eyes wide with shock on what had just happened. The sprinklers suddenly turned on and Tim shouted to turn them off once he realized it was pineapple juice.

He slowly began to clap for you and the rest of the girls as the half-dead, half-unconscious Huntington players lay all around you. You let out an awkward chuckle, grabbing onto Hazel’s blood-lathered arm as you lean into her touch. You waved at everyone, snuggling into her maroon-stained shirt.

“So, that was…” You turn to her, not knowing what the fuck to even say about what had just went down.

“We’ll process it tomorrow.” She shakes her head, blood-stained face and all.

“Right, yeah.” You nod mindlessly, slowly blinking at her.

“Did you like the kiss—“

“Are we together now?”

Your question threw Hazel off guard, letting out a soft chuckle as she nervously scratched the back of her neck.

“I mean, I don’t personally just make-out with anyone.” You push out a gust of air, staring into her radiating blue eyes.

“Me neither.” Hazel rushes out, a shy smile on her lips. “So… yeah?”

You nod, laughing out a ‘yeah.’ You look around at the football field now stained with red from the bodies.

“To think, all it took was fucking up some football players for us to get together.” You grin cheekily.

“Oh, I think some of them are actually dead.” Hazel stated as you threw your arms around her neck, more of the blood spreading onto your sleeves.

“Well, the red makes your eyes pop. It’s kind of hot.” You half-joke which causes her to shake her head with a chuckle.

The forgotten tree then exploded, causing everyone to pause in their tracks. The excitement and cheers from the crowd came to a complete halt. You cover your mouth with one hand as the tree caught on fire. Hazel buries her head into your neck, groaning at her failed bomb attempt.

Hazel was right; you’ll process this tomorrow

taglist: @lovelyy-moonlight @imjustapearl @seethesin @matchamilkislover @beabeebrie @curiousshifter101 @uraesthete @fictionalcharacterspecialist @c4llahansgirl @maggiecc @fruitysnackysmain @crvptidgf <33

#hazel callahan #bottoms movie #hazel callahan x reader #bottoms 2023 #wlw #sapphic #hazel callahan x you #hazel callahan fic #all she deserves is love #the bottoms girls are my troops 🫡

[buckleysbitch]

Maybe something about how After hazel fights the beefy guy (ew I forgot his name lol) girlfriend!reader is crying and picking Hazel up and helping her recover 🥹🥹 thank you!!

“and thank you for attending this years pep rally!”

everything is a blur. one second josie is holding you back from the fight, and another you’re tripping over the bleachers, hot tears bleeding down your face, shoving through the stampede of people towards your girlfriends lethargic body.

“hazel? hazel…come on. you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay….” you plead over her limp, gashed up body. her fluffy brunette mane is drenched in crimson blood, and you could’ve sworn that she needed ambulance. just as you’re about to crouch down to her, you feel a hand on your shoulder.

“dude, i’m so sorry- i- i didnt-“

“pj.” you whip around, swatting her hand away from you aggressively. you never liked the idea of hazel joining the club in the first place, but the small cuts and bruises you tended to when you picked her up from school were manageable. this was a whole different level. taking a step forward, knuckles turning white with rage, your eyes meet hers centimeters away. “stay the fuck away.” you seethe, pushing her away. you consider just beating the fuck out of her for a moment for what she did to your sweet girlfriend, until a weak, husky voice materializes behind you. instinctively, your stature softens, collapsing down to the floor next to her small frame.

“haze…it’s alright.” her eyes flutter open weakly, and she coughs up a bit of blood. isabel runs to grab her cardigan, and hands it to you to clean the blood up. dabbing the silky cloth across her beaten up face, everything else melts away. she is your entire world. no, your universe. you brush her hair out of her eyes to assess the damage, and even though she put up a good fight, he beat the fuck out of her. it’s even worse up close; both nostrils are gushing blood, a busted lip, and a positively broken nose.

as you’re comforting her barely conscious body, brittany sprints back in, with all of the first aid she could grab from the nurses office (she knows where everything is because of how many times she gets kicked in the face during cheer). the three of you make quick work to clean her up the best you could, and as you’re rubbing the last piece of gauze over her swollen nose, she finally tries to speak.

“h-hey…” she whimpers, half chuckling.

“what’s so funny, haze? you just got the shit beat out of you!”

“oh you’re just…you’re really pretty…at this angle.” she groans.

“haze…” forcing a half smile through your tears, “you know you didn’t have to do that, right?”

“yeah i just, i don’t know…i thought i was fighting pj and-“

“wait, what?”

pjs unsavory mumbles about “getting a room” come into earshot, but you attempt to drown it out. you take hazels black and blue painted knuckles, and heave her up to her feet, catching her full body weight, head securely placed in the crook of your neck. while rubbing her back and cooing over her, you feel pjs glares stabbing into your soul. with brittany, the both of you take each of hazels arms and start to walk her limping frame out of the gym doors and to the car, while pj and josie gawk at your girlfriend. you signal to isabel to take over for you for a moment, and you storm up to the two girls. “you two fuck with her again, i fuck with you. and trust me, you’ll want the ambulance on speed dial, got it?” neither of them can say a word, just gulp and scurry off, muttering to each other about whatever bullshit they’re gonna try next to save their sorry asses.

isabel and brittany help to buckle hazel in the passenger seat of the car, and they make you swear to text with any updates. the door shuts, and hazel immediately just starts bawling, tears mixed with blood beating down onto her shirt.

“i know, i know….it’s okay honey.” you kiss her forehead, not caring about the sticky blood that seeped into her hair. “how about this, let’s go to the doctor, get you all checked out, then go back to my place and i’ll make us dinner?” she nods, and wipes her tears with her sleeve.

“you have no idea how much i love you…”

“i love you most, hazel.”

#YALL ARE MAKING ME SO GAY #hazel callahan brainrot #hazel callahan blurb #hazel callahan headcanons #hazel callahan fanfiction #hazel callahan x you #hazel callahan imagine #hazel callahan x reader #hazel callahan #hazel bottoms #taking reqs #taking requests

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Delicate (Superstar Chapter 4)

Sometimes when I look into your eyes

I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

'Cause I like you

Is it cool that I said all that?

Is it chill that you're in my head?

'Cause I know that it's delicate

Roy and the Reader deal with the aftermath of petty jealousy.

Roy Kent x Reader

5.9k words

Warnings: Language, some tension and innuendo, angst that made my heart hurt

~

“She’s my assistant.”

“Poor thing.”

The words kept floating in my head as I leaned against the exterior of the building, thankful that the photographers had left hours ago, not that they’d pay any mind to me. It wasn’t like I was a gorgeous model, or the ex-girlfriend of a famous footballer. Not like Brittany fucking Brett. Brittany Brett, who probably had her tongue shoved down Roy’s throat as he forgot all about nights cuddled in our booth as Rose brought us our usual drinks at the pub. Or texting each other dinner plans while Ted went off on one of his incoherent rambles in his office. Or humming “Something Good” in my ear as he passed me on the pitch. Or the dozens of little moments of kisses and touches and glances filled with fondness, all seeming to hint towards the something real that Roy had told Jamie he wanted.

Honestly, I should have known better. He was Roy "Here There Every-fucking-where" Kent. I was no one special. Girls all over England probably grew up with his posters on their walls and screamed his name at games. I just happened to be the one to share an office with the man. I probably just provided him with a fun, flirty distraction while he waited for Brittany Brett, who the tabloids more than once referred to as Roy's "one who got away". In twenty years, I'd chuckle fondly as I recounted my brief fling with Roy freaking Kent with friends at a party, maybe make a viral post about his love for The Sound of Music, and be little less than a memory to him.

I’d have to be mature. Agree that what we had was fun and assure him that I could stay professional. I was sure I could at least get through the rest of the season before sheepishly thanking Ted and Rebecca for the opportunity to be a Greyhound and asking for a good recommendation.

“Shit! There you are!”

Keeley looked wild and panicky as she approached me. I groaned, not needing her commentary on Brittany Brett, who was probably a good friend of hers from Keeley’s modeling days, sharing that Gorgeous Girl™ bond that surely trumped any burgeoning workplace friendship.

“Are you alright?” she continued. “What’d he do to you?”

I rolled my eyes at Keeley’s dramatics. “Fuck’s sake, Roy didn’t do shit,” I muttered. “He has every right-”

Keeley shook her head frantically, hair flying. “What? No, Richard. Roy’s in there ready to pummel him. I’ve got Jamie trying to calm him down, which was probably not the best idea.”

“Fuck.”

I turned and rushed back into the venue, mentally cursing Keeley for helping me find shoes that, while gorgeous with my dress, were not made for running.

The party was still in full swing, no signs of drama. I turned back to Keeley, who grabbed my hand and led me out a side door, to a smaller party room that was clearly not prepared for any guests, judging by its bright lights and lack of decorations. Sure enough, Roy, Jamie, and Richard all stood there, Roy’s face uncharacteristically expressive. Of course, that expression was pure rage.

“The fuck did you do?!” he was bellowing as Jamie did his best to hold Roy back, sputtering something about calming the fuck down, Grandpa, which was clearly not helping matters.

Richard, showing no signs of panic on his face, held his hands up defensively. “Nothing! She just said she wasn’t feeling well and ran off! She is probably just in the bathroom.”

“Bullshit!” Roy nearly broke free of Jamie’s grasp.

“Roy!” I hissed, stepping forward to grab his arm as Keeley made sure the door was closed. “What the fuck?”

He turned his firey gaze to me, his eyes full of rage. “The fuck did he do to you?” he demanded. “I saw you run out of there like your fucking hair was on fire.”

“He didn’t do shit,” I said in a rush. “I wasn’t fucking feeling good. I had about a million drinks, in case you forgot. Needed some fucking air.” I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest. “You can’t kill one of your players. If nothing else, it’s bad for recruiting.” I stared at him, trying to ignore the warmth that I felt seeing the protectiveness in his face. “Just fucking stop,” I added quietly. “Just leave Richard alone and go out there and act like you didn’t just make an absolute arse of yourself.” I turned to Keeley. “I’m sorry about this,” I grumbled. “Clearly, I’m not the only one who drank too much. If this causes any issues in the press, let me know. I’ll help you clean up Roy’s mess.” I glared at Roy, who was still behind Jamie’s arm, though no longer trying to fight his way through the player. “I’m his fucking assistant, after all. Part of my job.”

Keeley shook her head and sighed, confusion in her eyes. “No, it’s all fine. Jamie and I were able to get them in here before anyone noticed anything was amiss.” She nodded to Montlaur. “But in case anyone’s being nosy, Richard, you should head on out. Jamie and I’ll come along in a moment. That way it’s not just a big group of us coming out all at once.” She offered up a small smirk in my direction. “Though we’d probably look like we just had the hottest orgy in the history of football.”

Her attempt to break the tension with humor only worked on Jamie and Richard, who let out soft chuckles.

I approached Richard, not giving a flying fuck that Roy was watching me intensely. “I’m really sorry for Roy,” I mumbled. “He clearly misinterpreted what he saw and got protective.” I shot daggers at Roy again before turning back to Richard. “I hope this doesn’t make work… weird.”

Richard shook his head, completely affable despite the drama. “Oh please. This is nothing compared to the husbands and boyfriends I have had to deal with. Especially the ones that found me still in their beds!” He laughed amiably before glancing warily at Roy. “But perhaps I will not ask you again to dance. And, sadly, I will not give you a kiss goodbye.” With an awkward smile, he turned and walked out, the noise of the party bursting through the door before it closed again, leaving the four of us in silence.

Keeley popped her lips. “Well, that was fun.” She glanced at Roy, who was red in the face and pacing, then back to me. “You gonna be alright?” Her eyes told me that Jamie could wait with Roy if I wanted to leave with her. That I didn’t need to deal with whatever this was, and that whatever this was, she wouldn’t ask. At least, not tonight.

“I’m fine,” I assured Keeley with a weak smile. “I’ll be out there in a bit, yeah?”

Keeley nodded then grabbed Jamie by the arm. Jamie shot me an apologetic smile and landed a friendly punch on my arm before following Keeley back to the party. Once again, the room was filled with the sounds of music, dancing, and fun, before giving way to the tense silence.

Roy stopped pacing, his face now more of a pink than red, and stared at me. “What the fuck?” he asked. It was a hoarse whisper, barely leaving his lips, and his eyes were filled with question marks.

“I could ask you the same thing,” I countered, perching myself up on one of the empty tables that dotted the room. “Why the hell were you trying to kill Montlaur? I know you think he’s prickish and all-”

“Because he’s a fucking prick!” Roy practically shouted. “And-and I told you I thought he was a prick to ask you out because we all know exactly what he’s interested in and then I turn and see you fucking clinging to him and suddenly you’re running out of the room looking like you’re about to fucking cry, what the fuck am I supposed to think?”

A hollow laugh escaped my lungs. “No. Back the fuck up, Roy. What happened between the dancing with Montlaur and the running out of the room?”

Roy stared at me in silence for a moment, his shoulders slumped as the gears in his head turned. “The fuck are you on about?”

“Okay.” I slammed my hands on my thighs and stood back up, making my way past Roy and towards the doors. “That’s how it’s going to be then. I hope you enjoy the rest of your night. Lookin’ forward to seeing photos of you and Brittany Brett’s reunion in The Sun tomorrow. See you Monday.”

Roy reached out and grabbed my arm, his grip firm but tender. “Is that what this is all about?” His voice was as soft as his face, thick eyebrows raised. “Brittany fucking Brett?”

Apparently, I hit my boiling point. “Of course it’s about Brittany fucking Brett, Roy! Fuck! You spend weeks all over me, taking me out, singing along to the fucking Sound of Music at my place, you practically tell me you want me to be your date to this shit next year, you make me feel special, like I matter to you, and then you turn around and kiss your ex-girlfriend.” I pulled out of Roy’s grasp and crossed my arms. “Which, I mean, that’s your own damn business, I guess. You’re single, after all. She’s single. So, go. Be hot and rich and famous together.”

A deep frown twisted Roy’s face, his eyebrows more furrowed than I’d ever seen. “Single?” he repeated, practically spitting out the word. “You think I’m single? I’m not fucking single.” He shook his head earnestly. “I… I haven’t considered myself single since….” He glanced up at the ceiling and shrugged. “Well, fuck, since we kissed at your parents’ house surrounded by all those fucking posters of me.” He looked back down at me.

My breath caught in my throat as I gazed into those brown eyes that stared at me with that familiar anxiety swimming around. “Then… then why’d you kiss her?” My mouth felt dry as I prayed that the next words out of Roy’s mouth would magically fix things.

He shook his head earnestly. “No, no. I didn’t fucking kiss her.” He sighed and placed a tentative hand on my arm. “She kissed me. And I immediately pushed her off me, which you fucking missed apparently. Told her I’m seeing someone that I really like. And that even if I wasn’t- which I am,” he clarified tugging me closer when he realized I wasn’t fighting him, “-I wouldn’t want fuck all to do with her.” He looked down at me. “Don’t you remember what I told you on our first date?” His voice was barely above a whisper. “You’re the only person that has ever made me feel like you want me.” He scoffed and nodded towards the door, towards the party. “How d’you think Brittney Brett made me feel? Like I was some fucking accessory, this thing that would get her photo in the press more if I was next to her. You would never make me feel that way. It’s one of the many, many things I adore about you.”

“Oh.” I looked down at our shoes, blinking as I turned Roy’s words over in my head, my stomach and heart doing flips that Olympic gymnasts could only dream of.

“Oh?” Roy dipped his head. “That’s all you’ve got? Oh?” A hint of a smile graced his lips. “Come on. Put me out of my fucking misery here.” His arm wrapped around my waist. “Tell me… tell me we’re okay,” he whispered.

His eyes were still full of that anxiety, but now it was mixed with hope as he bit on his bottom lip, waiting for me to answer. I gulped, my head spinning from the alcohol and the events of the evening and whatever woodsy cologne Roy had on that I knew he was wearing just for me.

Roy sighed, his hand tracing gentle circles on my back. “Or we could go out there and enjoy the rest of our evening, and we can come back to this tomorrow?” He leaned his head against mine. “Come on, I’ve got some dopey surprise for you. Been looking forward to it all night. Real fucking romantic.”

I lifted my head. “You’ve got a surprise for me?” The corners of my mouth turned upwards in spite of myself. “A romantic one?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed, tapping his nose against mine. “So why don’t we get back out there before Keeley tells everyone we’re shagging in here?” He squinted at me. “Unless…”

Now completely smiling, I smacked Roy’s arm. “Come on. I want to see this surprise.” I slipped out of Roy’s grasp and took his hand, leading him towards the door. Just before I reached for the doorknob, Roy pulled me back to himself. “What?” I laughed, the weight on my chest dissipating.

“Just gotta do this first.” His hand cupped my face and he leaned close, pressing his lips to mine for the first time that evening. His grip on me tightened as his lips parted slightly, allowing me to taste the beer he’d been drinking all night. In the back of my head, I thanked Keeley for her high-end, smudge-free lipstick that would hopefully not create an obvious mess on Roy’s face.

When we parted, Roy smiled at me. As if he could read my mind, he hummed, “Am I wearing your lipstick now?” In response, I simply wiped away the small spot of red that I had left on the edge of his mouth, then shook my head to confirm that he was good. He studied my lips carefully. “Alright. If we don’t go out there now, we might never leave.”

He opened the door and gestured for me to lead the way like a gentleman, keeping a friendly distance as we rejoined the festivities.

“Alright, Kent,” I started over the music. “What’s this surprise?”

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. “Should be happening in about three minutes,” he mumbled. “Why don’t we grab a drink?”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Only if I can come to the bar with you,” I teased dryly, hoping it wasn’t too soon to joke.

His dramatic eyeroll assured me it wasn’t. “Come on then.”

As we walked to the bar, we passed Jamie and Keeley, who both eyed us curiously. Roy gave them a curt nod and I shot Keeley a small thumbs up, assuring her that all was good. I knew she’d either corner me later in the night with cheeky accusations or call me the next day demanding details of what had happened in that room after they left, but for now, all I wanted to do was be with Roy.

Once we were settled at the bar, drinks in hand, I turned to Roy. “Alright, what’s the surprise?”

He shook his head. “Nope. You’ll know it when you hear it.”

“Hmmf.” My gaze turned to the dance floor, where our friends and coworkers were moving to the admittedly great band, having a blast. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched them and enjoyed my drink. “D’you ever dance at this thing?”

“Not if I can fucking help it.” His eyes wandered to the stage, where the band was wrapping up their song. “But I might have to make an exception tonight.”

I took another sip of my drink. “What do-”

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the band’s singer, a woman with dark, wild hair and a flowing dress, called out, “we had an anonymous request earlier this evening that we are thrilled to fulfill. We hope there’s some Julie Andrews fans out there.” She plucked at her guitar, creating a familiar dreamy tune.

“Perhaps I had a wicked childhood,” she sang. “Perhaps I had a miserable youth.”

I turned to Roy, my mouth slightly ajar. “The Sound of Music. Was this you?”

He shrugged, placing his half-finished beer on the bar and taking my glass from me. “Do you see any other Captain von Trapp-ish grumps around here?” He took my hand and nodded towards the dance floor. “Let’s go.”

My heart hammered as Roy led the way. I wondered if everyone could see the flush covering my face, even in the dim lighting. On the dance floor, Roy kept my hand in his, placing his free hand on the small of my back while mine rested on his shoulder. He kept a respectable distance, not exactly a professional one for two coworkers, but nothing anyone would bat an eye at. Not that it mattered; I could not care less about anyone else around us. Not Keeley and all her teasing, not Richard and his flirtatious ways, not even Brittany Brett. All I wanted was to be close to Roy and feel his warm breath on my cheek as he quietly sang the words to Something Good in my ear.

~

The rest of the night was miraculous and wonderful. Roy assured me that I could dance with other people without him throwing another fit- so I did. I danced all night as Roy watched. He laughed with Keeley as Jamie and I attempted to do the robot together and smiled as Dani Rojas twirled me around and clapped as Sam Obisanya dipped me dramatically and rolled his eyes good-naturedly while Ted held my hand in an attempt to teach everyone some square-dancing moves. After a particularly fun salsa with Isaac McAdoo, I approached Roy back at our table, who held out a glass of water to me.

“Having fun out there?” he asked, taking a sip of his beer.

I nodded. “An absolute blast. My feet are killing me though.”

“Guess I’ll have to fucking carry you home,” Roy joked, the fondness in his eyes telling me that he wouldn’t mind one bit.

“Looks like it,” I agreed with a smirk.

The band’s singer called for everyone’s attention. “We hope you’ve had a fabulous time tonight,” she began. “But unfortunately, it’s time for us say goodnight. On behalf of Rebecca Welton and everyone at A.F.C. Richmond, thank you so much for joining us and for all your support and generosity. Here’s one more song before we go.”

I turned to Roy. “Are you ready to head out then?” A small part of me was hoping for some alone time before calling it a night.

To my surprise, Roy shook his head. “Did you really forget? You promised me the last dance.”

I laughed and downed the rest of my water. “Were you serious about that?”

“Dead fucking serious.”

He grabbed my hand and stood, pulling me up with him. He kept my hand in his as he led me to the dance floor, giving it a small squeeze as he pulled me towards him. He placed his free hand on my waist, just as he had earlier. But now he pressed me close to his chest, definitely closer than two platonic, casual coworkers should be.

“But don’t forget who’s taking you home and in whose arms you’re gonna be, so darlin’ save the last dance for me,” the band sang.

“Are you alright?” Roy asked, leaning down towards me. “Tonight…. Didn’t exactly go the way either of us had hoped.”

“No, it did not,” I agreed, wincing slightly. “But I think we did a good job of salvaging things, don’t you?”

He nodded. “Believe it or not, even with almost killing Montlaur, this is the best fucking time I’ve ever had at this thing. Mostly because I didn’t get auctioned off like a fucking basket of fruit.” The corners of his mouth tugged upwards. “And because I got to spend time with you.” He somehow managed to pull me even closer, close enough so I could feel his heart beating. “Not nearly enough time though,” he added. “And I’m sorry about that.”

I shook my head. “We’re okay,” I assured him. “At least, I hope we are.”

“How about we talk tomorrow?” he offered. “We’ll have a good night’s rest and be sober, and we can talk about whatever shit we need to talk about.” He squeezed my hand. “How’s that sound?”

“I… think it’s a good idea.”

“Good.” He cleared his throat. “Thank you, by the way.”

I tilted my head in confusion. “For what?”

“Saving the last dance for me.”

~

Roy walked me up to my apartment, his suit jacket having been wrapped around my shoulders since we left the venue. We paused at my door, the way we had for weeks now. He smiled down at me in that same way, softness in his eyes, lifting his hand to touch my hair.

“Well, I’m just glad the night didn’t end fucked,” he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. “You sure know how to end a date.”

“This was a date then?” he asked, eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Eh.” I shrugged. “Depends, are you going to kiss me goodnight?”

His mouth was on mine in less than an instant. He pulled me tight against himself, one arm completely wrapped around my waist as I pulled him down to me by his tie. His tongue grazed my mouth, asking permission. I obliged, tasting beer and a hint of the chocolate cupcake he’d shared with me towards the end of the night. His hand that was still tangled in my hair tugged a little, trying to pull me closer to himself. We were a tangle of lips and tongues and hot breath and soft moans, neither of us caring about the possibility of someone seeing us.

I pulled back mere centimeters, just enough to whisper, “You want to come in?”

Roy gave a little groan, pressing his forehead against mine. “I want to. I definitely fucking want to. But I think we should say goodnight til we talk tomorrow, yeah?” He stroked my cheek, a deep sigh escaping his lips. “Want to make sure we’re on the same page about things.” He paused, his thumb ghosting over my bottom lip. “Come over tomorrow. I’ll make you dinner.

The disappointment I had felt a moment ago melted and gave way to delight. “Roy Kent can cook?” I teased, fiddling with his tie.

He smirked with pride as his hand rubbed my hip. “Fuck yeah, Roy Kent can cook.” He kissed my lips, pulling away as my mouth chased his. “Tomorrow then?”

I groaned and buried my head in his chest, drunk off the drinks and Roy’s kisses. “Fine. Tomorrow.” I looked up at him. “One more for the road?” I purred, giving my best pout.

“You needy thing,” he chuckled, planting one more kiss on my lips before pulling away with finality. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he promised.

~

My mobile went off as I was lounging in bed late the next morning, smiling at Roy’s jacket draped over my bedroom door. I picked up the phone, my mind still back in front of my door, where Roy’s kiss had made my knees weak.

“Hello?” I answered, my voice dreamy.

“Alright, what the fuck happened?” Keeley’s squeals brought me back to reality.

I scrambled to sit up. “Morning Keeley!” I choked out, hoping I sounded breezy and casual. “How’re you? You have fun last night? Does Jamie remember doing the robot with me or was he too sloshed?”

I could practically feel her roll her eyes through the phone. “Oh no, we’re not playing this game. You owe me all the details about what happened with Roy last night. Spill.”

“Nothing!” I blurted, probably a bit too quickly. “We talked. He told me he thought Montlaur did something to hurt me and got protective. I mean, we share an office, we see each other every day, I kind of get why he’d be protective of me. Plus, you saw how much he drank, he probably doesn’t even remember what happened.” I cleared my throat. “So, we’re good. I’ll probably talk to him on Monday about apologizing to Montlaur, but other than that, I think we can all just forget what happened.”

“What about all the dancing?” Keeley challenged. “Roy never dances at the gala. Even when he’s brought a date, he’s good for maybe one dance. He danced with you what, like four or five times?”

I scoffed, flopping back onto my bed. “We danced twice,” I corrected Keeley. “As friends.”

Keeley hummed. “Oh, so you counted?”

“Shove off, Keeley,” I groaned, eyeing Roy’s jacket again. “Can’t you just accept that Roy and I are friends? I mean, shit, that’s headline enough.”

“Friends huh?”

“Yes!”

Keeley cleared her throat. “Then did your friend Roy Kent say anything about Brittany Brett? I’m desperate to know what happened there.”

My cheeks burned; I was hoping to forget that Brittany Brett had been at the party. “Nope. Didn’t say a word,” I said shortly. “Don’t know a thing.”

“Aw, babe,” Keeley clucked. “No need to be jealous. That’s long over from what I’ve heard.”

“’m not jealous,” I grumbled. But damn, I couldn’t resist the bait. “What have you heard?”

Keeley gave a small giggle. “Why don’t you come over tonight for a good old-fashioned sleepover? I can give you all the gossip like we’re little schoolgirls. We’ll throw on our pyjamas, get tipsy, sing some Spice Girl songs, crank call Jamie. Fuck, we can even go play knock-and-run at Roy’s place. Maybe we’ll catch a glimpse of him shirtless.”

Damn, this woman was a great friend. “Aww, Keeley, I’d love to hang out,” I started. “But I’ve got plans tonight.”

“Next time!” she gushed, unbothered. “What’s up tonight?”

“Oh, just some family stuff. Nothing too exciting, I’m afraid.”

Keeley gave a small hum. “Maybe brunch tomorrow?”

I nodded into the phone. “Sounds great.”

We stayed on the line for a few more minutes, making plans to meet for brunch at one of Keeley’s favorite places and agreeing that she should invite Rebecca to join us. After a couple more attempts on Keeley’s end to find out any dirty details about what happened between me and Roy, we hung up. Sometime during the call, I’d received a text message from Roy:

Can’t wait to see you

~

Of course Roy Kent’s house was huge. Of course it was. Sometimes it was easy to forget that the man was a retired football star. But standing in front of his house- mansion, practically- I was reminded all over again that this was the man on all those posters in my parents’ house. Roy “Here-There-Everywhere” Kent.

I stood tentatively in front of his door, debating if I should ring the bell or just send him a text to let him know I’d arrived. As I debated my choices and played with the hem of the dress that suddenly felt too short and too dressy, the door opened. Roy stood in the doorway, wearing the black slacks and shirt he’d been wearing on our first date. His eyes took their time eagerly traveling up my figure and to my face, where they settled tenderly.

“Fuck,” he whispered, cracking a full smile. “How’d you manage to look more gorgeous than you did last night?”

My face burned at the compliment. “You don’t look too bad yourself,” I answered, trying to sound casual as he ushered me in. “How’d you know I was here?”

“Got some sensor shit on the door,” he explained matter-of-factly as he closed the door behind me. “I dunno, Beard set it up for me. Man’s fucking paranoid.”

“Hmm.”

That was all I could manage as I took in Roy’s house. It was spacious, airier and lighter than I expected. I smiled as I recognized photos of his niece and sister everywhere, as well as an older man I assumed was his grandad.

“Sorry I don’t have posters of you all over the place,” he teased, taking my hand to lead me to the kitchen. “Could you believe they were sold out of you at the administrative-assistant-poster store?”

“Oh yeah, I’m really popular,” I played along as Roy pulled out a stool at the kitchen island for me to sit on. “Let me know if you want my autograph.”

He turned to the stove, stirring something in a pot. “How much d’you think I could get for it on eBay?”

“Enough to buy a nicer house. Sorry to break it to you, Roy, but this place is a regular shithole.”

Roy practically choked on his laughter. “Oi, now you’re getting personal.” He turned and faced me. “I’m really fucking glad you’re here,” he said softly.

My blush returned. “Me too.” I sat up to take a good look at the stove, trying to see what smelled so delicious. “Need any help?” I offered.

“Fuck no. You just relax.” He nodded towards a fully stocked bar in the adjoining dining room. “Drink? Or have you sworn off alcohol after last night?”

I shook my head. “I’ll take a drink,” I assured him.

Roy crossed over to the bar, pressing a kiss to my bare shoulder as he passed me. When he returned, he placed two drinks on the island, the same one I ordered every time we went to the pub. He then served dinner and laid one of the bowls in front of me.

“Beef tzimmes,” he announced, sitting across from me. “My grandad used to make this for me when I was a kid. First thing he ever taught me how to make.”

I could feel my eyes light up as I took my first bite. “Shit, this is good!”

“Glad to know Phoebe’s not lying to me then,” Roy muttered as he began to eat his own bowl.

We ate comfortably, drinking and laughing and sharing jokes, as if nothing had transpired the night before. It felt like every other time we’d hung out; comfortable, relaxed, but charged with the attraction we shared. God, it was good to know that we could still be like this.

Roy cleared the bowls and left them in the sink before helping me out of my seat. “Wanna go sit outside? We can have our chat.”

My breath caught for a moment as I remembered why I was there in the first place; a serious talk awaited us. Roy placed a reassuring kiss on my forehead and grabbed our drinks, leading me out to his patio. I settled in a loveseat while he turned on a set of string lights.

“My sister made me get these,” he grumbled as he joined me, handing me my drink.

“She has good taste,” I remarked as I leaned back.

Roy snorted. “In fucking lights, maybe. In men…” He bobbled his head, making a face. He caught my unsure expression. “Sorry. You didn’t come here to listen to me rant about Phoebe’s shit dad.”

“Not this time,” I joked, trying to break the tension.

He leaned back, laying his arm around my shoulders. “So,” he started, his face suddenly serious.

“So,” I repeated.

Roy took a deep breath. “I’m sorry again. Really fucking sorry.” He turned his body to face me properly. “I’m sorry for trying to kill Montlaur. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions and not talking to you. And I’m really fucking sorry you had to see Brittany Brett kiss me.” He shook his head and looked at me with those anxious eyes. “D’you forgive me?”

My heart tugged gently in my chest. “Of course.” I laid my hand on Roy’s thigh. “I’m sorry for screaming at you. And for trying to make you jealous. And for making you apologize to Richard.”

He frowned, confused. “You didn’t make me apologize.”

“No, I was saving that for Monday.”

“Fair enough.” He rested his free hand on top of mine. “Why’d you get so jealous?”

I shifted in my seat. “I mean… have you seen that woman? She’s literally a model.”

Roy shrugged. “So’s Keeley. You didn’t seem to care when she danced with me while you and Jamie did what I can only assume was an attempt at the robot.”

“Keeley’s not your ex,” I pointed out. “Brittany Brett is. And she was hanging all over you, and oh yeah, she kissed you.” I paused, letting my words sink in. “And I just don’t get why you were talking to her,” I admitted. “You say you want nothing to do with her, and that she made you feel like shit, so I don’t know why you would hang out with her at the bar.”

“No, that’s fair,” Roy agreed. “See…” He tilted his head back, thinking. “We went out during this really fucked time in my life. I was already starting to realize that I was passing my prime. And I was starting to get fucking scared that I’d never be a superstar again. And being with this internationally known model allowed me to pretend that I would be a hotshot forever.” He paused. “And then she dumped me for someone who was actually in the prime of their career. Which, obviously, felt fucking great.” He wrinkled his nose. “And I guess seeing her for the first time since then brought back some of those feelings of not being good enough anymore. And I guess I wanted to show her that I’m doing great.” He squeezed my hand. “Really great since I started seeing you.” He let out a growling sigh. “And once she started flirting, I think some part of me wanted to reject her this time,” he admitted. “But it absolutely wasn’t worth it seeing how things turned out.” He cleared his throat, looking down. “That’s some stupid shit, eh?”

I quickly shook my head. “I mean, it still hurt, but I get it now.” I paused, giving the ground a small kick. “I didn’t really appreciate the whole ‘she’s just my assistant’ shit though.”

Roy let out a dry chuckle. “Also fair,” he conceded. “Sorry about th-” He stopped, thick brows creased. “Wait, how’d you know that?”

“I may have been eavesdropping,” I muttered. “That’s about the point where I felt really shitty and dragged Richard out on the dance floor to make you jealous.”

“Hmmf.” Roy stared at me thoughtfully. “Can I ask you something?” I nodded. “D’you consider yourself single?”

I blushed, remembering the way I had yelled at Roy the night before. “Not really,” I admitted. “I haven’t even thought about another guy since the first time you bought me kebabs for lunch.”

“And I told you last night, I haven’t thought of myself as a single guy since that night at your parents’,” he reminded me. His fingers drummed on my shoulder. “I think the problem is, we didn’t think of each other as not being single.”

“What d’you mean?” I asked; Roy was talking in circles.

He shrugged. “I mean, I don’t think either of us would have been so fucking jealous if… if we both knew we’re both not single.” He glanced up at the string lights, face twisted in uncertainty. “Is that right?”

Something in my brain clicked. “Roy, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

“Don’t talk like we’re fucking thirteen behind a Tesco,” he snarled. “But yeah, sure, however you want to fucking call it.” He leaned close, eyes searching mine. “I just want you to know I’m yours. That’s all. And I’d like to know that you’re mine. Because if we know that, then all the other shit- ex-girlfriends and stupid French pricks- none of it’ll matter. Because we’ll know how we feel.” He shrugged. “What d’you say?”

I closed the distance between us, pressing my lips against his harshly, desperate to show him how heartily I agreed with him. “I think it’s a damn good idea,” I mumbled against his mouth.

#he's here he's there he's every fucking where #roy kent #Roy Kent Superstar #roy kent fanfic #roy kent fluff #roy kent fic #roy kent fanfiction #ted lasso #ted lasso fluff #ted lasso fic #ted lasso fanfic

[itsbrittanybiitch]

Incorrect AATC Quotes 27

What's good, y'all?

Brittany: You're not my friend anymore. Alvin: I was your friend?

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Theodore: I feel like Alvin is looking down on me. Simon: That’s because he's on the counter and you’re short.

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Jeanette: If I fall down these stairs, I'm just going to lay down and accept my fate.

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Brittany: Stop thinking whatever you're thinking. Alvin: Huh? Brittany: You always make that face when you're about to say something stupid just to piss me off. So cut it out- Alvin: I love you. Brittany: Alvin: Alvin: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup. Brittany: I KNEW IT!!

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Simon: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

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Alvin: Britt, I sense hostility. Brittany: Good, because I hate you.

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Jeanette: Do you have a second to talk about the environment? Cheesy: Do you have a second to eat my farts?

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Simon: Is that a gun?! Alvin: It's not what it looks like! Simon: It looks like a gun! Alvin: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like, but in my defense, it doesn't have anymore bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore. Simon: ...ANYMORE?!

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Brittany: Alvin, I have a couple of words to say to you. Eleanor: Please let those two words be “I’m sorry.” Jeanette: I’m ready with the bleep button if not.

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Theodore: A butterfly! Hey, little guy, gal or nonbinary pal! Eleanor: Can a butterfly be nonbinary? Theodore: I mean, maybe? I don't judge. Jeanette, staring dreamily out of the window: Ah, have you ever imagine having butterfly wings? Then- Brittany: Then it would be inconvenient as fuck. Your wings would smack every doorframe and your clothes would have to have holes in the back. Simon: Also, your wing's paper thin, so even a six year old aimed a NERF gun at it would... Yeah... Alvin: *sips coffee* According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a- Jeanette: No, nononono. You meaners have already shattered my dream, you don't get the privilege to make that reference :( Eleanor: Also, it's about a butterfly, not a bee... Why would you make that reference? Theodore: You clearly have not lived with him long enough.

#THE LAST ONE I CAN'T #aatc #alvin and the chipmunks #alvittany #alvin seville #simon seville #theodore seville #brittany miller #jeanette miller #eleanor miller

[poppyandzena]

ZENA AND POPPY: PATTERN OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE

This list is NOT the fullest extent of Poppy and Zena's victims and ex-associates. This list consists of victims who have made public statements and are comfortable discussing it. This list is subject to updates whenever necessary.

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Milena | @transpersian | #milena

MILENA'S MASTERPOST

An ex-poly partner to Poppy and Zena est. early 2023. The relationship consisted of months of abusive behavior towards Milena. Zena was the perpetrator of emotional abuse most of the time and Poppy enabled it. Milena's story highlights manipulation perpetrated by Zena and Poppy's possessive nature.

Milena, very helpfully, has created documents not only for her own experience, but for other victims. I highly encourage you to follow her.

_

Courtney Peet/Orchard | @pleasetiemyshoe | #courtney

COURTNEY'S INTERVIEW ON LILY ORCHARD (REUPLOAD)

Courtney briefly collabed with Poppy and Zena on their YouTube channel. Courtney was interviewed about the trauma their sister Lily Peet/Orchard inflicted onto them. The interview was unsatisfactory as Poppy is a terrible host.

Courtney had to endure attempted manipulation at the hands of Poppy and Zena, but especially Poppy. While exerting a position of power as the platform for Courtney's experience, Poppy tried to rope Courtney into a relationship. Poppy became possessive over the dissemination of their story, trying to control Courtney's server and how other victims of Lily interact with each other. One of the most egregious acts Poppy did was allegedly send Courtney sibling incest pornography about a day after the interview, trying to fetishize the exact trauma Poppy was profiting on.

After fighting for more control of Courtney's server, the collaboration has fallen apart. Poppy shared a timeline of the events to her mod team of around twenty people, including information that she had Courtney's nude photo. Upon finding out, Courtney lashed out against Poppy, and Poppy censored screenshots to make it look like Courtney randomly attacked Poppy and deadnamed her, neither of which are true.

Poppy has compared Courtney to her rapist sister, and even claimed Courtney had an incest fetish to poison the well.

Poppy has also allegedly sent Courtney unsolicited photos of her genitals multiple times under the guise of "showing off her SRS recovery."

_

Brittany | @britts-galaxy-brain | #britt

BRITTANY'S POST ON POPPY

Britt is an outspoken victim of Lily Orchard. Poppy and Britt were in conflict because Poppy wanted to control Britt's language in calling Lily Orchard a predator and a pedophile. Keep in mind Britt has known Lily for many, many years prior to Poppy and has the screenshots to prove their claims. Poppy has tried to smear Britt as transphobic due to this. Poppy was also sexually persistent with Britt in DMs despite Britt's reluctance and lack of enthusiastic consent.

_

Dormiyu | @dormiyu , @dormiyusaur | #dormiyu

DORMIYU'S TWITTER THREAD ON POPPY AND ZENA

Dormiyu is an ex-member in Poppy and Zena's server. Between 10/27/23 and 11/02/23, Dormiyu was invited to Poppy and Zena's house. Dormiyu came alone by train, therefore not having easy access to return home early. It is alleged that Poppy purposefully exposed her chest to Dormiyu (at the time 18 years old). Poppy downplayed Dormiyu's discomfort as "asexual bullshit." Zena also downplayed and laughed off Poppy's sexual impropriety against Dormiyu.

Poppy's mutuals have been very cruel to Dormiyu upon the revealing of this information.

#poppy and zena #zena and poppy #poppy diabolique #ladydiabolique #poppy #poppy & zena #zenaandpoppyonyoutube #lily #courtney #zena #milena #britt #dormiyu

[fullmoonfireball]

sorry if this is an ask that has been sent to you in the past, but, splatoon weapon mains for Olimar, Louie, and the Rescue Corps? Plus an honorary Oatchi and Moss if you feel up to it

nope, not something i've been asked before! i've discussed the first two's mains with Sleepy at least though so it's not like this is a foreign concept to me

Olimar would be a Splatling main (specifically Nautilus and/or Heavy Edit)

Louie,, Brush or Blasters. maybe the occasional Slosher too-oh my god these are just Big Man's weapon picks fuuuck. it's fine it's a very "having fun+playing" weapon set even if they're doing it in two different directions. i'm thinking Octobrush/Clash Blaster/Explosher

Collin is real "living beacon" type guy I think. very consistently remains alive even when no one else on the team is. pretty much exclusively does backlines, and mains Chargers and Splatlings. probably would want to main the Tenta Brella too.

Shepherd plays the Splatana Stamper Nouveau. could see her doing Rollers/Brushes too, but that in particular is calling to me. she's just got strong melee vibes i guess.

Russ is a Blaster main, no question. he misses the days where the Luna Blaster was OP, but still uses it anyways. he's also 🤏 this close from getting banned from competing in anything due to making some Grizzco Weapon-esque bullshit.

Dingo is a Dualie main, also no questions. probably Tetra Dualies specifically. he feels like the kind of guy who tries to dodge roll as much as physically possible. he'll also do Splatana Wiper from time to time. totally not to try and show off to Shepherd.

Yonny is an E-Liter main. no notes. he just is.

Bernard... is a hard one. semi-auto Shooters are kind of calling to me for him? not sure which one but . yeah

no clue what Oatchi and Moss would use because. oggys. but here's some Koppaite mains for funzies/to round things out:

Alph.... i think is a Shooter main. very much appreciates the versatility of the class. probably would love to study the meta but wouldn't pick weapons solely based on it, yknow.

Brittany is definitely a Squiffer girlie. she can do other Chargers fine, but that one's her favourite. she'd probably also like to crush people with a nice big Roller sometimes, but...

Charlie is 100% a Roller main. just look at him. the man talks about beating up the creatures of PNF-404 with his "steely fists" in 3DX's Piklopedia. of COURSE he's a roller main. he's probably big into the Dynamo Roller specifically.

#theonimo #ask

[sapphic-agent]

¿Have you noticed that the relationships Rachel has later in the series were actually also Mercedes's?

Kurt as a best friend.

Santana as a rival.

Sam as a love interest.

YES.

I will forever be angry that they replaced Kurtcedes with Hummelberry. Mercedes was the first person Kurt came out to and the first one to support him. They weren't the IT bffs of seasons 1&2 for the writers to ignore that. Especially because Rachel wasn't a good friend to him.

I mean she wasn't really a good friend to anyone (except Blaine and sometimes Quinn), but for Kurt it feels worse. They were fine in season 2, but from seasons 3+ it felt like a straight white woman treating her "gay best friend" as an accessory. She was especially awful to him when they lived together, always dismissing him and talking down to him. The Kurt Hummel I knew never would have agreed to be her roommate, he couldn't stand her ass in season 1 and even though they were friends in season 2, she still annoyed tf outta him.

She was awful to everyone in season 5- Santana, Carmen, her coworkers, etc.- but Kurt really got the brunt of it. One thing I hate is that they took away his backbone. This was the kid who stood up for himself against Karofsky, someone 3x his size, even after being assaulted and threatened. Having him put up with Rachel's bullshit?? No way.

Santana and Mercedes had such a good relationship. Santana getting stuck with Rachel and Kurt made no sense. I would have much rather watched Santana make her own way. She didn't get to do much, it felt like the writers only kept her there for Rachel's benefit, not her own.

(Sending Brittany to New York would have been way funnier. She would have driven Rachel and Kurt crazy. I would have preferred that over her staying behind in season 4, that made no sense. How did she get to senior year if she never went to class??)

To be fair about Samchel, that's just Sam being a hoe. He's the only one who's dated the entire Unholy Trinity (Puck slept with them, but didn't date them) and he's dated every one of the original ND girls except Tina (Tina stays losing gg)

#mercedes jones #kurt hummel #santana lopez #sam evans #kurtcedes #sancedes #samcedes #anti rachel berry #anti season 5 rachel berry #she's awful in season 5 #everything that was likeable about her was just gone #anti hummelberry #anti pezberry #anti samchel

[lily-orchard]

Okay so I have the "source" that Brittany and Courtney are using to claim I'm apparently on CP sites.

The source is an anon. And even Brittany admits that the post linked was made suspiciously close to when Courtney started making their bullshit claims, and registered AFTER she started posting.

Then Courtney just takes it at face value, because it benefits her, and then proceeds to threaten my life, while making claims that you should put a pin in.

Then Courtney hastily deletes this post and posts a different one, claiming she has "more reliable resources than a Tumblr anon" and escalates her claim about some weird snuff film from "trying to find" to "have downloaded in the past."

She doesn't provide the resources she supposedly has, but she thinks "Well I have the proof" is enough.

Okay bitch. Show the fucking proof. If you have it, where is it? Because making a dummy account under a name someone else claimed was me.

I know you are lying. And you wanna know how I know?

It's in your own fucking source.

This anon claims they found this site by "googling" my known aliases. The site is a dark web Onion domain. Those don't show up on Google.

Oh and by the way, for those wondering. The description Courtney uses as her smoking gun?

This is the description

Yeah that's a real detailed description, you dumb, lying fuck.

This is their smoking gun. An account they claimed they found by googling, made the same week Courtney started screaming her fucking head off, with a description that matches a third of the women on the fucking planet, on a site you can't even fucking google.

I have absolutely no reason to believe that Courtney isn't the one who did all this. None what so-fucking ever. Her entire MO since she started this fucking nonsense has always been taking things she did to me, and trying to spin it as me doing it to her. She has pinged back and forth between violent threats, victim blaming, and fucking lies, and she's about as consistent with her lies as a fucking serial killer.

This is a woman who has physically, verbally, sexually, and psychologically abused me on and off our entire childhood, and once she found out I was living well became immediately enraged. But I'm not 14 years old anymore, Courtney. You can't coerce and gaslight me like you used to.

To think that I ever blamed myself for anything that happened with Courtney and our relationship deteriorating as teenagers is just embarrassing.

Courtney is a piece of shit, one who I have spent far too much of my time and energy on. I truly hope that everyone she has ever victimized gets the chance to spit on her corpse at her funeral.

Edit: Courtney's second post uncropped

#courtney peet is an abuser #pedojacketing #debunked #courtney peet #courtney orchard #brittany johnson #britts galaxy brain #stalking #harssment #transphobia

[opinated-user]

I just realized... lily is using G being ace as a shield against claims of predatory behaviour and pokephilia and lily used herself being ace as a shield back when she was creeping on Brittany... yet another strike against G being lily's self insert

(also as an ace person I am so tired of her bullshit in regards to asexuality)

oh... you're right, that does make sense. back when they were friends and also catfishing Brittany with Tara/Allison, LO pretended to be sex repulsed too in a ploy to try to make Brittany feel more flattered because "you're the only girl who can make her sexual" (paraphrasing). i never made the connection before regarding G. personally, i was always disgusted with her insinuating that someone who acts predatory towards other people can be totally innocent as long they're ace. as if raping a child in their sleep is less bad because at least it wasn't about arousal. as if the sexual attraction was the issue and not the predatory actions themselves. effectively using asexuality as some form of shield. it is acephobic, absolutely, but it's also just plain rape apology because it takes away agency of the offender, making it about things they can't control (like attraction) rather than the things they do (their actions).

#lily orchard

[corroded-hellfire]

This is pretty much how I imagine Steve, Wayne, Nancy and the Hellfire club will react to Eddie and Brittany finally divorcing and him getting custody of the kids

I seriously can't wait to read the court scene where people will finally see how horrible she is. I can sense that she will try to put a very nice act and how innocent and good mother she is, just for Eddie to prove that all she is saying is full bullshit

Oh my God, the number of witnesses Eddie could have strolling into the court room to talk about how shitty of a person Brittany is though. And everyone would ABSOLUTELY have a party once that witch gets what she deserves. Once the kids go to bed, the celebrating begins

#answer #AYW

[rainbowdaisy13]

I think it's sad that big Gaylors/kaylors blog won't post asks of people being disappointed with the girls or criticizing them, like most of the time I see maybe one ask being answered and the tag is like I won't post more about this topic or something like that, it's really frustrating because if it's true that she lurks here or her people do (the insiders, for example) it gives the impression that we're okay with it, it's like those blogs don't want to offend her or something. Swifties can be a nuisance for her because they're the majority of the fandom, I bet if they complained enough about Brittany everytime she's seen with Taylor, Taylor would've stopped hanging out with her by now.

If all we talk about are the little hints we get from them they think is okay to hang out with shit people because at the end of the day they can 'throws us a bone' and all will be forgiven, that is until the next stunt, but then another bone... It's kinda disappointing because for how long can you keep making excuses for their questioning behavior untill you inevitably start to see them for their actions and not their 'words' anymore and start to question their character. There's more dignified ways to beard. She's a 33 year old woman why she's acting like a 17 year old, I feel like she wants the republicans back for the Debut Taylor's Version.

People decide what they feel comfortable with on their own blogs and that’s their call. I do believe there is a fear of offending Taylor and losing favor in this space, and that probably stems from this being the only place online where any of us feel safe to talk, so thinking Taylor maybe lurks here and maybe approves makes us collectively feel not as outcast or alone compared to the general fandom who is always getting Taylor Swift the Performer/Business blowing them kisses and showing them love

I am someone who will always call out bullshit when I see it, so I feel comfortable talking about what I see as missteps or lack of courage on either T or Ks part—that doesn’t mean I know what it’s like to be them—I never will! I don’t know if she will ever come out, but I’ll keep using this space to encourage her to be brave and show that there are people that love and support her for who she actually is

[angelhummel]

if u think that Rachel berry shouldn't have been the main character ur Kinda a dumb dumb. the core values of the show is annoying theatre kids who are outcasts finding solace in a goddamned glee club,, and you think fuckin qu*nn, br*ttany or s*antana were gonna give that energy??? absolutely fuckin not all they were going to do was be annoying popular people who learn the valuable lesson that popularity isn't everything but

and if the show wasn't about Rachel it would have been about kurt, mercedes, artie or tina being annoying theatre kids who are outcasts

I do actually like santana a fair bit, think Quinn was decent and brittany was definitely a character on the show, but there was nay a reason for a single one of them to truly be the main character

same anon as before but I think I may have made it seem like I was complaining at you but I was just complaining about others who don't have the third eye to see Rachel being the main character was the most logical conclusion xxx

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

oh yeah lmao for a second i was like "did i do something to make them think i thought that way..?" but yeah no i totally agreeee

the people who insist the unholy trinity carried the whole show are sooo dumb like baby they didnt even carry the three seasons you watched :/ but yeah i do like santana but damn those blonde bitches dragged her down so bad

and it always makes me mad that the show was about being an outcast and yet the popular kids always outnumbered the nerds. like 5:7

and dont get me started about the bullshit parade in 6x12 about how the gay, fat, black, disabled, jewish, asian characters need to open their hearts and minds and be more accepting of the cishet white male jock that lowkey bullies them all but is kind of sort of nice bc he didnt call the fat girl fat and let the gay kid take off his jacket before his friends tossed him in the dumpster and also hasnt started using slurs yet. he's a saint that deserves a million second chances (but his girlfriend is still a bitch and we hate her forever)

ugh. screaming internally, screaming eternally etc

#glee #lol glee #asks #my thoughts #anonymous #long post #anti quinn fabray #anti santana lopez #anti brittany pierce #anti brittana #anti finn hudson #not to be like 'youre enjoying this media wrong' #but the people who act like the popular kids carried the show lowkey highkey missed the point of the whole show asjdfskl #but then again the show itself reinforced that mindset bc it let those girls be as racist etc etc as possible with like no repercussions #so yknow #its such a struggle to be a fan of this show

[bananakiller-art]

Some bullshit with Brittany again.

#art #bananakillerart #my characters #brittany #otherworldly team #it au

[virgopropaganda]

Also Love watching Brittany broskis career take a nose dive I really have been waiting on this shoe to drop

tbh bc her broski report podcast has the same cadence as Chris D’elia’s comedy. Same inflection.

Love when she said it costs nothing to be in solidarity and says she is a liberal/leftist (when people say theyre the same or both in the same sentence, I immediately smell bullshit), but then complains that she has to say something “about the Middle East” (she can’t even say Palestine) at the top of the next podcast. Girl you’re backbone is a cheese stick, just like the rest of them. I don’t care to have parasocial relationships with influencers, howeverrrrr it was really interesting how her relationship w Sarah schauer stopped. It was really weird for Trixie Mattel to want “the tea on Sarah”, and then everyone was like it meant nothing uwu.

Glad you bankrolled your dumb royal court show she has hasan on which was strike number 602 with her. How could I forget to mention her support of Johnny depp and she wears pirates of the Caribbean merch proudly. She’s been bullshit and I’m glad other people see her bullshit