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#but i always wanted to know if she got a happy ending!! if she ever found her husband and daughter!!
inkedbybarnes · 3 days
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bucky barnes x fem!reader
summary: everyone thinks you're dating bucky, except yourself.
word count: 2.4k
warnings: 18+ minors dni. miscommunication (i love this trope, sue me), angst with a happy fluffy ending, quite stubborn reader, implied smut if you squint, usage of petnames such as baby and doll. lowercase for basically everything.
i haven't finished anything in decades, but i suddenly had an idea just now and decided to write it down. surprisingly, i finished it? might have a lot of mistakes and such since i haven't proofread it yet. also, sorry for using lowercase for this one, i kinda like how it looks. hope you enjoy this one!
dividers by @cafekitsune!
reblogs, likes, and comments are highly appreciated. thank you! ♡
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“you're confusing me. so... you're not dating bucky?'
wanda tilted her head, confusion etched on her face as you spent your weekly girl's night with natasha. it usually consisted of eating food you all desired, drinking until you got wasted, and spilling secrets to one another.
although tonight, you weren't sure if you had any secrets to spill.
"as far as i know, no. we're just friends, teammates. nothing else," you answered with a heavy sigh. "can we talk about something else?"
"hold your horses, young lady! we are not skipping this topic again. you obviously want a label but he isn't giving you one!" wanda protested. she has been constantly asking about you and bucky's relationship for the past weeks, and you always had the same answer. you don't know.
"have you never talked about it with bucky? he looks at you like you'd get lost if he looks away for a second. not a single soul in the tower would think that you're just friends," natasha interjected, taking another sip from the bottle of beer she held. she had a point, as always. "if he's just playing with you, which i highly doubt for barnes, then just end whatever that is. you deserve better than having doubts and confusion, babe."
you've tried asking him multiple times, but every attempt felt like you were stepping on his boundaries. after years of being controlled by hydra, you knew it was possible that he'd hate the feeling of being rushed and entering a relationship that could potentially feel like a cage to him.
but natasha was right. your "relationship" was no longer anything friendly. he sleeps in your bed, claiming he slept better in it, and wakes up beside you to shower you with kisses. none of you even tried to hide it after some time. you always cooked your meals and ate them together, casually feeding one another and stealing kisses in between. you even stopped going on dates and you had no idea if you were exclusive. you deserved to know what your relationship with bucky was, but you were too scared to lose everything once you asked.
"we're not dating. i only see him as a friend, so you can both stop worrying about me." you lied through your teeth, your chest aching as you realised how stupid this was. you sighed and faked a smile, shifting the attention to natasha. "so, tell me about your date with steve! how was the first ever date of captain america since the 40s?"
wanda was distracted by the question, immediately bombarding the now blushing widow with questions. on the other hand, your mind flew away for a minute, finally deciding to get an answer from bucky.
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the annual ball that tony stark held for, well, nearly anyone, was nearing. you only had two weeks left, and you haven't even gone out to find something to wear. it was hard to find any motivation to do all that effort when the person you've been waiting to ask you as his date hasn't asked you yet.
although, bucky had a tendency to get shy and hold back. you knew that. so here you were, standing behind the doors to the gym, knowing that bucky would be training at this hour. you still haven't asked him the question you were supposed to ask him, so you decided to do it all at once.
after you've finished your small pep talk, you opened the door to enter the room and your first instinct was to search for bucky.
considering that he was a huge chunk of a man, he was easy to find. however, the sight of him standing in front of a woman that was too close for your comfort wasn't delightful.
he didn't see you entering the room since he was facing the opposite direction, conversing with the agent that happened to be training as well. she had the sweetest and flirtiest smile on her face, bringing her hand up to his arm, slowly caressing it. you didn't mean to easily hear their conversation as you walked closer.
"so, do you happen to have someone for me to have as a date for the ball? i don't want to be lonely on that night, sergeant," the agent said with an extra pout, swaying her hips side to side like a child asking for candy.
"oh, yeah? i think i have someone for you," bucky replied, breaking your heart into pieces with how enthusiastic he was with his answer. "i'm sure you'll—"
you sniffed. unconsciously. not knowing that your tears were already falling, causing your nose to get stuffy. how pathetic, you thought.
your little sniff caught the attention of both the agent and bucky, looking at you in shock. although, the girl was more pleasantly surprised than the opposite. thankfully, you already had your tears wiped before they could see them.
"oh, we didn't see you there!" she greeted you with your name. "we were just talking about our date for this year's ball. who are you bringing?"
"i haven't decided yet, no one's worth it even if i try," you answered bitterly. "so you're going together?"
before bucky could answer, the agent already had her arm wrapped around his, happily smiling at your question. "yeah! amazing, right? i actually thought you two had a thing, but i guess not. glad things worked out in the end."
and that was your last straw. "well, enjoy yourselves. i have to go and find natasha."
you turned to leave, ignoring the loud calls of bucky. you were glad that you never asked him about your relationship and the ball. you were going to be hurt either way.
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you spent the next hours stuck in your room, body covered with a thick sheet as you ranted about your frustrations to friday.
it was silly, you knew that, but you refused to call natasha and wanda to remind you of your stupidity and decided to let an ai robot listen to your problems instead.
"and he even flirted back! answering coyly like a teenager. he's 107 years old, fri!" you whined, not noticing the new nickname you've given the alternative intelligence. "ugh, now i have a broken heart and no date in sight. how did it get to this?"
"perhaps you must discuss this matter with sergeant barnes first. your conversation ended quite abruptly with no clear conclusion."
"no, i don't want the truth rubbed on my face," you said, grabbing another piece of tissue to sneeze in. "you restricted him from entering my room, right?"
friday answered with a yes, then you thanked her for listening and decided to get some sleep after tirelessly crying for hours. you knew you had a team meeting with the avengers in a bit, but you couldn't bring yourself to even walk a few steps.
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your sleep ended and you were woken up with friday's reminder that it was time for dinner with the team.
with a groan, you pushed yourself off your bed. bucky would be there, but you were too hungry to care. it would be awkward, of course, but you had to face him at some point anyway.
your feet padded towards the door, opening it after trying your hair in a bun.
"ah, fuck."
you jumped at the voice and the body falling to the floor as you opened the door.
"bucky?" you asked, still in shock. "were you sleeping outside of my room?"
you watched bucky stand up, his hand massaging his aching nape as he looked for your eyes. "friday won't let me in. i waited outside instead. i guess i fell asleep during that," he explained, a frown forming on his face. "did you restrict me from entering our room?"
your eyes widened at his choice of words. our room. he considered your room to be his room as well. while that would've made you melt in an instant, you were still hurt to entertain that possibility.
"this is my room, barnes. not yours, not ours. and yes, i had you restricted because i couldn't face you yet. what do you need anyway?"
"i wanted to see you, talk to you." a flash of pain crossed his eyes. "whatever happened at the gym, it's—"
"bucky, you don't have to explain anything to me. we're just friends. it's my fault i assumed we were something. i just need some time to get over it."
"but i thought we were something as well..." he replied, his voice was almost as quiet as a whisper. "i thought we were dating."
"were we?" you asked, genuinely curious. "we never.. you never said anything. i mean, yeah, i wished it meant something, but i thought you wouldn't want to be trapped in a relationship with me, so i just waited. apparently, i was right and i can't blame you for that."
"right about what? the thing that happened in the gym this morning?" he asked. you nodded in response. "i know it sounds like i was flirting back, well i didn't know at the moment, until i asked steve who was clueless but he called nat to help me out and explained that it looked like i was flirting back. i wasn't. i was just going to suggest sam as a date for her. i would never agree to anyone."
oh. so he just wasn't interested in anyone at all.
"besides this one girl who's constantly been in my head. that's if she'd even give me a chance and say yes. i fucked it up badly before i could even ask her properly."
you knew what hoping got you, but you couldn't help but think that he was talking about you. he'd have to be clueless to say all those things in front of you only for it to be someone else.
"i love you, baby. i should've told you that, i should've made it clear sooner. i'm so sorry i let you have doubts when i could've been reassuring you about what i feel for you."
"bucky..."
"i would never feel trapped with you, doll. only you made me feel so much love and freedom. i'd be a fool to let go of that. i'm sorry it took a few hits and harsh words from natasha to make me realise that i wasn't giving you enough when you deserve everything." he held your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him. you felt breathless, tears threatening to fall but this time it was out of joy. "hydra made sure i had no voice to express myself. now, i'll use it to let you know that i love you so fucking much that it hurts when you're not around. i promise to work on it. if anything like this happens again, ask me, baby. demand things from me. i'll give you everything in a heartbeat."
"even if i ask for your arm?"
he laughed, a sound that was music to your ears. "it's yours baby. although, i do like fucking you with my metal—"
"bucky!" you scolded him, hitting him lightly on the chest.
"sorry, baby. couldn't help it. missed my girl so much."
his girl. you loved hearing that.
"it's only been a few hours. don't be silly," you reminded him, but you knew you also felt the same.
"i miss you even when i don't see you for a second." you couldn't help but laugh at his words. "something funny, doll?"
"sorry, natasha said something similar about you a few days ago," you answered. "i'm sorry for assuming so quickly, bucky. you deserved the chance to explain."
"and you did let me explain. i can't blame you for assuming and getting hurt when i never gave you the confirmation to believe otherwise. don't apologise for it, baby."
"i love you," you said, causing him to grin widely.
"yeah? you love me too?" he asked, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks. "this is official now, right? we're dating?"
you nodded happily, giggling as he landed a kiss to your mouth. "so, you wanna go to the ball with me?"
he kissed you again. "don't. i'm supposed to be asking you that. i had an entire thing prepared for you, i even dragged half of the team to help me out days ago. besides wanda and natasha, of course. couldn't let them tell you about it."
your heart swelled, he was already planning to ask you before all of this misunderstanding happened, and it could've been solved with communication. lesson learned, indeed.
"well hurry because i can't wait to say yes," you playfully threatened him, kissing the tip of his nose until the loud rumble of your stomach interrupted your sweet moment. "ah, right. i was on my way to eat dinner when i opened the door."
bucky laughed, his eyes twinkling witth adoration as he kept his eyes on you. "we can't have you starving, that's for sure. come, let's get you something." he held your hand, and dragged you the kitchen. he turned to look at you with a playful smile. "wanna cook together like the old times?"
you smiled. "like the old times."
in the middle of your cooking session, you heard whistles and claps along with the footsteps that entered the kitchen. you both turned to find the rest of the team with shit eating grins.
"finally! so is this real or do we need to smack your heads?" tony asked, his hand placed on his hip.
"it's always been real, stark," bucky answered, wrapping his arm around your waist. "except this time, i'm making sure my entire world knows it."
"i think everybody knows you have a thing for each other, barnes." clint added.
"i meant my entire world, not everybody." bucky looked at you with awe. "she's my world."
bucky's answer gained various loud reactions from the team, mostly calling him a cheesy old man and fake gags, but there you were, cheeks heating up as you looked back at him with the same amount of love, if not more.
and he did ask you to be his date to the ball the day after, surprising you with his so-called secret plan.
a year later, he surprised you with a ring as he knelt on one knee.
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empress-simps · 2 days
Text
Line That Leads To You
Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem! Reader AU: Soulmate AU CW: Language, Genre: Angst with a happy ending (don't worry guys) Summary: You make Sirius realize that having a soulmate isn’t all that bad— that he too, will have his happily ever after.
Note: One of my favorite tropes to write, soulmate AUs! Sirius just needs love and affirmation. I love writing for this! Enjoy! Picture is from pinterest, credits to the owner!
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You know, Sirius never really believed in those pesky soulmates stuff. It irks him to no end, and makes his head hurt.
The topic makes him snappy, bitter, and it leaves him feeling angry. To whom? The world— the one who’s responsible for everything that has to do with soulmates. He thinks it is a bunch of bollocks. It’s a pathetic little concept that everyone seems to be too invested in.
Sirius would be very much happy to tell you it doesn’t really end with a happily-ever-after.
“I’m telling you, Prongs. It’s just a bunch of crap.” Sirius tells James one time at the drawing room in the Potter Manor. James shakes his head, disagreeing with his best mate.
“It isn’t always like Walburga and Orion, Pads.” James gently tells him, eyes swimming with empathy for Sirius. “Just look at me, Lily and I are together, finally.” Sirius can’t help but scoff, shaking his head in a disagreeing manner.
“That’s because you were already pathetically in love with her before you even knew she was the one, Prongs. Same thing for Lily, but she was quite stubborn trying to deny what she felt about you. You guys are actually made for each other.” James lets out a laugh, the memories resurfacing making a love-struck smile appear on his face (Sirius gave him a disgusted look)
“That’s what soulmates are, Pads. You’re supposed to complete each other, balance the other person out” He pursed his lips and sighed, there’s no way Prongs could understand his opinion on the matter.
Complete each other, huh?
Then can someone give him a reasonable excuse on why his parents broke each other? One descended into madness; the other doesn’t really seem to care as long as the noble house of Black lineage will continue.
Sirius bites his bottom lip, deep in thought as he stares at his pinky, willing the connection to be seen; a red string that was tied into a bow that leads to Merlin-knows-where. It serves as a connection; the string that he and only his soulmate can see whenever they want. He tugs on it curiously, awaiting any reaction with bated breath. He almost scrambled away when he felt the other end also tug it. Sirius was utterly terrified, a shiver crawled up to his system, it’s foreign feeling for the Black’s eldest son. It made everything feel too real. A fact that he desperately tries to deny.
That night, before they returned to Hogwarts as sixth year students was the last time he ever willed to see the annoying little string in his pinky, not caring if his supposed other half was finding him or already found him.
Maybe it had to do with his twisted upbringing. He saw how his father cut the string tying him to their mother, the purple string that bound them together turning gray and withering away.
He saw how Regulus flinched, no one should’ve seen a scene like that, but they did. Someone severing their connection to someone who should’ve been with them through better or for worse, the one that fate intended for them. Their life got worse just after that, forcing him to flee and leave his younger brother behind at the deranged hands of Walburga Black.
“You should eat more, Reggie.” You turned towards the quiet and reserved Slytherin, pushing his plate closer to him, which made him wince. “I am quite full.” You raised a brow “None sense, all you did was sip pumpkin juice so you better do as I say or I’ll tell Evan and Junior.”
“Do you know that you boss people around quite well?” He grumbles, shoving a few spoonsful of dinner in his mouth as you hummed in approval, cracking a small smile. “I was told.” Your eyes flickered to the Gryffindor table, it seemed to gravitate you, pulling you in.
Looking down at your pinky, you willed the string to be visible to you. Seeing the red string attached to Sirius Black made your stomach churn; was it butterflies? Unease? You don’t particularly know, having mixed reactions to the string that leads to your other half.
You’ve known for over a year now, keeping it to yourself as you quickly figured out that he wants nothing to do with his soulmate.
“Reggie! Reggie!”
You exclaimed, slapping the poor boy’s arm as he was currently staying in the L/n Manor. He looked in your direction, quite annoyed, he was interrupted reading his book. “I’m reading, Y/n. You know, you should too. It’ll do you some good.” He sassed, trying to find which part he stopped reading. “My soulmate! They tugged the string!” You gushed, “They must be looking for me too, right?” You asked no one in particular, you can still feel the tingles you felt, how your heartbeat picked up, and how you felt like you were in could nine.
Quite the opposite from what Sirius felt, huh?
You never told him, never planned to. It was quite clear what his views are on the concept of soulmates when you saw him snogging different girls every week. It wrecked you; you swore you felt your heart stop beating every time you see him loving a girl other than you even just for a week. It sounds stupid and all, but you would give up everything just to know what it feels like; how he will look at you with love and adoration in his eyes, how his touch and kisses would linger on your body, and how his voice would sound like as his breath fans in your ear, whispering promises of love.
You looked at him from the Slytherin table; so close yet so far.
Regulus noticed, the all too familiar broken look in your face. His heart hurts for you, even if you do not tell him, he already knows. Seeing his brother’s indifference, Regulus’s gaze hardened. How could he have the guts to do this to his soulmate?
The memory of their mother's despair, the way she withered away after their father severed the bond, was etched into his mind. Regulus does not wish for anyone to feel that way, he does not wish upon it even in his worst enemies.
It was a pain no one should endure, a lesson that should have been learned.
Yet there sat his brother, laughing with his friends and willfully ignoring the pulls of his heart. The person who held the other end of this unseen tether, was beside Regulus. Your soul ached as you watched your soulmate. It was a betrayal of the heart's deepest connection, and it stirred a tempest of fury within Regulus that he struggled to contain.
“My brother is foolish. Eat.” He states, pushing your food and placing the cornbread on his plate to yours. She cracks a smile, chuckling. “Alright, Reggie. You’re lucky I love you.” You pat his curls, proceeding to eat the bread, smiling a little. Reggie never really shares his food with anyone, except for you. You’re the only exception.
“Padfoot.” Remus starts, looking out of the window as Sirius lays down lazily in his bed, looking at nothing.
“What, Moons?”
“If I say that I have an inkling on who your soulmate is, would you… look for them?” Remus asked cautiously. Peter and James perked up, eyes wide with shock. How could Remus possibly guess who his soulmate is? Unless… They’re also in Hogwarts?
“Don’t start with that crap, Moony.” Sirius sat up; a scowl displayed in his features as his grey eyes turned stormy.
“Don’t you even feel the slightest amount of guilt in your system as you snog other girls?” Remus frowned.
Sirius’s scowl deepened, his hands clenching into fists. “Guilt? For what, Moony? For not wanting to be chained down by some ancient magic?” His voice was a low growl, barely containing the emotions that surged within him. “I won’t be dictated by fate. I make my own choices, and I refuse to be bound by a bond I never asked for.”
Remus’s expression softened, the lines of concern etching deeper into his face. “It’s not about being chained, Pads. It’s about finding someone who complements you, who understands you in ways no one else can.” He paused, his gaze steady and piercing. “You’ve seen what happens when that bond is severed. You’ve seen the pain it causes. Is that what you want for yourself? For your soulmate who’s probably hurting somewhere?”
Sirius looks down, biting his lip and playing with the rings on his fingers. “I don’t plan on severing our bond, Moons- “
“Then what the fuck are you doing?” Remus spat, Sirius flinched, looking at anything but them. He knew deep down that Remus was right. He can’t deny he also wants to look for his soulmate. The only thing that was holding him back is that he’s scared. What if your story would end similarly like how Walburga and Orion’s did? Dread fills his system as he reflects on how he slowly realized he’s becoming like his father. Peter and James exchanged a glance, the weight of the conversation settling heavily upon them.
“I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “Scared of finding her… Scared of repeating the same mistakes.” He paused, his gaze lifting to meet Remus’s. “But you’re right. I can’t keep running from this. It’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to me.”
James offered a supportive smile, feeling happy for his friend. Sirius stood up, his posture straightening as if shedding the weight of his fears. “I’ll do it. I’ll find her,” he declared, his voice steady. “I owe it to both of us to at least try.”
“That’s our Padfoot.” Remus breathes a sigh of relief as Peter nods encouragingly at Sirius.
The next daylight soon came. Sirius gulps, looking around the great hall, feeling quite overwhelmed at the number of students entering for breakfast, eating, or chatting amongst themselves. For the first time in a long time, he willed the red string of fate to reappear within his vision.
Ah, there it was. The red string connected to someone from the Slytherin table. Sirius felt his heart drop, seeing the end of the string connected to your pinky. “Y/n?” The name left his lips in a hushed awe, his heart skipping a beat as he saw the string connected to your pinky. You, who laughed with such ease beside Regulus, were the missing piece.
Whether it was some brotherly instinct, Regulus looked at him, shooting him a warning stare as if to say: ‘If you hurt her, you’ll never see the light of day ever again.’
Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise, knowing eyes set on his friend. “Found her, Pads?”
“Yeah. Found her, Moony.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” James chimed in, a grin spreading across his face as Peter silently cheers him on. “Go on, before you lose your nerve.”
Sirius took a deep breath, trying to shake off the weight of Regulus’s protective stare. It was a silent challenge, a vow to keep your heart safe from his brother. With a nod of acknowledgment, Sirius stepped forward, crossing the small distance between the Gryffindor table and Slytherin.
“Y/n,” he said, standing before you, the red string pulsing with a life of its own.
You stilled, slowly looking in his direction. Eyes wide with surprise, searched his for a moment before softening. “I was wondering when you’d come around,” you teared up, making Sirius’ heart ache.
Sirius extended his hand, the red string wrapping around both your destinies. “Let’s talk, yeah?”
And in that moment, as your fingers intertwined, Sirius knew that whatever the future held, he had made the right choice. For in finding you, he had found a new path that began to unravel, one filled with hope and courage. The buzz of Great Hall continued, but both of them felt time still, feeling the bond weave into their souls deeper.
Sirius’s and Y/n’s story had its flaws, but it was theirs, uniquely woven by the red strings of fate.
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gadriezmannsgirl · 2 days
Note
hiii i hope ure doing amazing!!! could i request one for gavi where the reader is more on the curvy side and feels a bit insecure ? if ure not comfortable writing it it’s totally fine !!! sending loads of love have a nice day and thank u for always taking the time to read the requests!!🫶🏻🫶🏻
Warnings: Gavi being a cute boyfriend, mentions of wanting to do mature things with their partner, nothing graphic or explicit happens. No proofread, sorry if there's any mistakes
Beautiful Either Way -P.G6
Summary: He takes your insecurities away
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You sigh the fourth time in a row, you grabbed the ends of the shirt you were wearing and pulled it off of your body. You stood in silence watching your closet and all the clothes that laid inside there but none of those things were enough for you today. You were going out with both your and your boyfriend's Pablo's parents, today.
And also today was one of those days you felt you weren't pretty enough. Ever since you were young, you have fought to meet the beauty standars society sets but that wasn't for you.
Naturally you have a curvy complex and that's not something you can change and whilst you were happy with your body, you couldn't help but feel sad some days because you couldn't wear x type of clothing without being afraid of how you'll look like and if people were going to judge you.
When you first meet your boyfriend, it was while you were on vacation in Ibiza, you didn't think you would take his attention and mostly when your best friend is a pretty gorgeous, skinny with both great atributes, blonde with green eyes.
You were behind him and his group of friends when some dude tried to play smart with both you and your friend, Ana. And luckily, he and his friends helped the two of you out.
"What are you two doing here?" One of them asked
"We're in the UK having a cup of tea. What about you?" You said smiling and with sarcasm on your tone. The guys laughed softly "Sorry, we're here because our vacations, it was supposed to be a group of three but the other girl got sick last minute and we were actually already in the plane so we couldn't back down" You explained
"Is she okay?" Another guy asked and you and Ana nod
"Are you okay?" A brunette with a frown plastered on his face said to you "The guy touched you?"
"Oh no, I'm fine. Thanks for stepping in by the way"
"It's no problem. I'm glad you're okay" He said looking at you as you blush lightly. He clears his throat and talks again "Would you girls like to spend the rest of the concert with us? I brought my sister and she brought some of her friends too so in that way you girls aren't that lonely here" He said looking straight into your eyes. You blushed lightly, looked down at your feet and then up to meet his big brown eyes. You nod
"Sure. What's your name guy with a sister?"
"Pablo. Yours?"
"Y/N"
You and Pablo didn't minded a lot of the concert since then, he was pretty much talking to you, you talking to him about everything and that night you both exchanged numbers to keep in contact.
You both were sad to see the other leave but it was a delight when you both found out the other was living in Barcelona as well and then the rest is story.
Nine months forward you were in Barcelona, with your seven months boyfriend, Pablo Gavi, getting ready for the small meet-up with the family
"Mi amor, are we ready? We need to go, my mom's texting me that they're already on their way and yours said that they were finishing some stuffs to go ther-What happened here?" He cut himself off looking around the floor seeing all the shirts, dresses, tops, shorts laying on the floor
"I don't know what to wear" You whined crossing your arms around your belly
"But you were ready a few minutes ago?" You give him a look and shook your head before looking back at your closet "Why don't you wear that white top I love on you?"
"Because I don't feel like wearing it today"
"Why not?"
"It doesn't match with the jean"
"You can wear the beige skirt you got last month and with this white sneakers, it'll be perfect for you" You shook your head softly
"I don't feel like going with skirt today, Pabs"
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to" You cried out "Have you seen my legs?"
"Yes, I have but I don't see any problems with them"
"They're as big as yours, Pablo!"
"They're not but even if they were, what's the problem?" You hated how clueless he could be sometimes
"That's the problem"
"Why's that the problem? I love them, your legs are gorgeous"
"Well I don't love my legs and I'm not loving my body either" He stayed quiet a few minutes before he clicked his tongue
"I got it now and it's shame you think that way. They're the most gorgeous legs I've ever seen on a girl and don't even get me started on your body" One of his hands gripped yours as he pulled himself behind you and kissed your cheek
You turned your head to him "You have to say that because I'm your girlfriend"
"And even if you weren't, I'd still say it" You shook your head softly, looking ahead of you to re-start the research of a shirt. "Hey, escúchame" (Listen to me) "You don't have to be skinny to be beautiful, Y/N. Your body, the one you're not loving right now, it's the one that I love, that has me crazy everyday and I'm wanting to do so many things to you to prove you that I'm crazy in love with those gorgeous legs, that I'm crazy in love with these beautiful hips, in love with your tummy, with your breasts, arms, hands, jaw, lips, ears, everything" He spoke into your ear, his free arm wrapping itself around your body to pull you into him. You couldn't help the smile at the mention of him wanting to get you under the covers
"But I did not only fell in love with your beautiful physical appearance. I feel in love with your beautiful personality, your way of seeing good things in everything and in everyone, your kindness, your selfless, honesty, every single thing about you. You're beautiful either way and if others can see that, if I can see that, you can as well and I want you to know it, I want you to feel beautiful because you are. Inside and Out. Understand me?" You nod, your heart melting at your boyfriend's love, you had a smile on your face and your let yourself rest against him
"Understood" You whisper turning around to hug him "Thank you for loving me whenever I'm not loving myself"
"I always will love you, no matter what. But you should love yourself always, curvy or skinny, blonde or brunette, tall or short, you're perfect. You're perfect for me and for anyone"
"I'm lucky to have you" He smiled shaking his head
"I'm the lucky one" He kissed your cheek thrice "Now, we've plans and here's what we're gonna do. I'm going to grab that top I love of yours, I'm gonna put it on you and we're also going to put on that skirt, we'll put on one of my jackets" He got closer to your face, lips being milimeters away "...and after we make out for a while, after we take some pics of ourselves being the most perfect couple in the world" you smiled making him smile too, he was so close that everytime he spoke, his lips crashed onto yours but you welcomed every kiss "we're going to go to that dinner, spend a nice evening with our parents and when we come back, we're not leaving that bed until tomorrow so I can show you how crazy you drive me" You laughed throwing your head back before connecting your lips with his
"That sounds like a good idea"
"It doesn't sound like a good idea, it is a good idea and that's what we're going to do if it's okay with you"
"It's perfect for me"
"Then let's go. Get yourself out of those jeans right now" You laugh pecking his lips once again before letting him go into your wardrobe. You looked at him and smiled, he was wearing white shirt and beige pants with white sneakers.
"Are you going to match our clothes?" He threw the skirt at your way jokingly and with a smile, he answered
"Of course I am. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I don't?"
°°° °°° °°° °°°
Taglist: @gaviymarcsbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela
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michanvalentine · 2 days
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Things about Vincent Valentine that I read around and piss me off.
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"Vincent should have done more!"
It is one of the most common observations. And I hate it! What he was supposed to do exactly? Ok, let's take a step back and pretend we're in the real world and not in a fantasy action video game. Vincent was a highly trained Turk and an excellent marksman. That's not enough to say that he was definitely also a cold piece of shit ready to do any job. In fact, I believe that Vincent was the exact opposite of this and that he was not cut out to be a Turk at all. Which is why he got into trouble. "Stern and upright" is how Square Enix describes him, so we're talking about a person who has great morals and a high sense of duty. And these two things don't always go together. To this we must add the naivety he had as a young man (evident in DoC) and his great empathy towards others (which FF VII Rebirth is highlighting a lot). So when Lucrecia decided to use the fetus as an experiment, Vincent found himself in an impossible situation, where morality and duty were at odds. Human experimentation disgusted him, but his role was as a bodyguard, nothing more. His duty was to watch and let the scientists do their work. Furthermore, at that moment no one could imagine what the result of such experiments would be and what Sephiroth would do in the future. So we're talking about a man torn by his own principles, full of doubts and, lest you forget, heartbroken. It is not easy to act in a situation like this. But he couldn't ignore his own morals, so despite his role he tried to reason with Lucrecia first and then he confronted Hojo, with the consequences we know. Did he have to kidnap Lucrecia? Did he have to kill Hojo? Did he have to burn the Shinra Mansion to the ground? Let's be honest, normal people don't act this way. And Vincent Valentine was the sanest one in the middle, so he paid for it. But even if Vincent had freaked out and gone down the path of violence, there would have been consequences and it would probably have ended the same way.
But let's go back to Lucrecia for a moment. Vincent's naivety and empathy did not allow him to notice the red flags. He only saw the best and deepest part of her, the fragile, kind and brilliant one. When she pushed him away, he still behaved as correctly as possible. He stepped aside, hoping that she would be happy. There is no selfishness, there is no possessiveness. This is called unconditional love, and it is very rare. Should he have claimed Lucrecia for himself even if she didn't want it? Fight the other man to get the woman back? Continue to chase her proclaiming his love like a crazy? These are some traits of toxic masculinity. Vincent left her absolute freedom, he respected her choices as a woman, as an adult and as a scientist, even if his sensitivity allowed him to understand some things before she could notice them herself. And that's why Vincent's question "are you sure this is what you really want" hurts so much. He knew it. He knew she would love that child.
The fact that Vincent feels like a failure who was unable to protect the woman he loved and her child is understandable. But this is only his feeling, his perception of himself in a situation way bigger than him. So no one will ever be able to get it out of my head: Vincent Valentine did everything a good man with his hands tied behind his back could have done. He went out of line for Lucrecia and Sephiroth, and was killed for it.
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Hello, you’ve asked to send in the prompt when full hc are open so messaging as a reminder
‘M6 reaction to an Mc who has experienced abuse before
Showing signs like flinching or unexplained irritability, anxiety ‘
The Arcana HCs: M6 when MC is recovering from abuse
~ thank you for the reminder anon friend! and my own reminder to whoever's reading this, nobody deserves to be broken like this. there is better, and you deserve better. ~
CW for references to memories of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, (yelling, vague violence, control, emotional manipulation) and to nontoxic behavior triggering those memories unintentionally
Julian
In all the craziness of your whirlwind romance, you two never really got to talk about your own poor relationship experiences
It just didn't come up, and then life was golden, so golden that there wasn't a point to remembering all that pain and and fear
Until he made you flinch
Completely, entirely on accident, of course, but the full-body wince and the wash of fear across your face was enough to make his heart leap into his throat. What happened, what - why?
He's a flamboyant man. He likes large, theatrical gestures, and as entertaining as they're meant to be, sometimes the sight of an outstretched hand hurtling through the air is anything but
And now he's shaking with a combination of overwhelming guilt and white-hot rage. It gnaws at his bones and boils in his veins, pushing him to make things okay and asking if he has the right to
He's immediately switching to a quiet, shaky voice, asking you first to forgive him for scaring you, and then asking if you'd be willing to tell him more about it between apologies
You know your doctor would never willingly hurt you, and you know this is something you can trust him with, but you don't expect how angry he is. He'll rave about how wrong it was if you let him
He does his best to tone down the gestures, and is always, always ready to remind you how cherished you deserve to be
Asra
They already knew about the past before you two began your relationship - there's a reason you haven't seen or heard a single thing about the source of your pain since you came back
And as long as he was your caretaker, and then your friend, you never had cause to worry because of him. But then things became romantic, and well - some things were easier to deal with before
You love their spontaneity and daydreamy presence, but that level of unpredictability is difficult to interpret when the object of your affections regularly forgets to communicate
Are they just that deeply lost in thought, daydreaming for hours on end, or are they studiously ignoring your attempts to connect?
Is this really a sudden "just because I love you" show of affection, or is it time to brace yourself for some awful things to come?
You know with a heart like his beating steadily in your chest, there's no real doubt when it comes to how deeply and faithfully and purely he loves you. All it takes is a flick of magic to remember
But you also know how terrifying unpredictability can be, and you find yourself on occasion slipping into a fawning state out of habit
They catch on almost immediately, hating the way you suddenly seem to be tiptoeing around them, and push past their nature to bring it out into the open so they can reassure you
So happy to adjust it's hard to believe you were ever nervous
Nadia
She picked up on several signals as she was courting you, and while she didn't want to make you uncomfortable, she didn't hesitate to bring them up. Tell her as much as you're willing to
Of course, her first response was to lay out her own intentions and expectations regarding the relationship she wanted to build with you. She wants you to keep her accountable to giving you the best
It really has felt like a thing of the past ever since, with one exception that you really don't know how to bring up
Your beloved Countess has a very commanding presence. It's one of the many things you adore about her, but on occasion, it has the unintended effect of making you feel stifled - controlled
Announcing a dinner that night which you hadn't been aware of. Selecting your outfits for you. Making a strong opinion known before asking for your perspective, challenging you to disagree
Things that you know come from a place of love and respect, but that remind you a bit too much of a time when there was neither
She picks up on it more slowly than she would've liked to, the way you seem to shrink just a little bit smaller when she tries to help
To her, you're a capable, intelligent, strong person, and the thought hadn't occurred that you might prefer your choices be protected, even from herself. She's humbled. And she loves you
Makes extra sure to make space for you, all of you, every moment
Muriel
For such a large man, he moves unexpectedly quietly
Here are the other things he does quietly: thinking, eating, breathing, resting, working, sleeping ... everything ...
And sometimes, all that quiet starts to feel less like you're around an introverted gentle giant, and more like the silent treatment
Which means you must have done something wrong
But you don't know what you did wrong, and when you live with someone as extremely conflict averse as Muriel, you know that getting him to tell you what you did wrong is very hard to do
And so the anxiety spiral begins, attempting to fix a habit or adjust a behavior, only for the silence to stretch on, and on, and on ...
Muriel, on the other hand, knows that something is bothering you but isn't sure what it is. It was easy to pick up during your time together that your life hadn't been all sunshine and rainbows either
But he's not one to pry, or to do anything that might trigger you, and knowing how much space to himself helps him sort things out, he makes sure to give you as much of that as possible
He doesn't realize that it's not what you need until you approach him one day, clearly distressed, and worriedly ask what you've done wrong. You haven't done anything wrong
He's still quiet, but he's picked up a habit of humming now, so that even in the quiet moments aren't completely silent
Portia
It wasn't hard for her to tell that you weren't used to the type of romantic relationship that made your life better and not worse. Curiosity aside, she wants to know so she understand you better
She wants this opportunity to show you the excitement and healing of finally finding your partner-in-crime. And she does!
This woman is nothing if not passionate
Why hide your emotions when they make you stronger? Why hold back? Why suppress yourself when there's so much color and life and excitement in this world?
There's just ... one tiny issue
Her unbridled emotional intensity is one of her strongest assets and one of the things that gives you the strength and courage to push through the darkest moments
However, it does at times remind you of a much less controlled and safe intensity that was often directed straight at you, designed more to frighten you than to communicate with you
Sudden excited tackle-hugs feel a bit too much like being grabbed and pinned. Vocal expressions of anger at another person's poor behavior feel like a lead up to being blamed for it somehow
Being as empathetic as she is, Portia picks up on this almost instantly and barely needs to be told what you need to feel safe
Besides, she can always go rant at her unsuspecting brother
Lucio
There are some things that this delightful work in progress of a man won't notice until he gets hit in the face with them
Examples include things like "if the usual opinion around making deals with demons is negative, it's probably for a good reason" or "oopsies have consequences, sometimes"
There's no doubt that he loves you and that he's wholeheartedly committed to protecting you. These are things that he's loud and proud about reminding you. Emphasis on loud. He likes to yell!
Whether to emphasize a point or to express an emotion, or just because he's in the woods/at a party/going shopping and that's what you do when you're in that space, his default volume is 95%
And as much as you know the volume is exactly that - a default - it too often feels like a warning instead. Like someone wants nothing in your ears except what they have to say to you
Lucio doesn't realize the effect he's having until he starts to feel unheard, ironically enough. It's like you don't talk back to him anymore, like he's back in that twilight zone of being unheard
When he tells you his stories, you don't interject, you don't add your own embellishments, you don't seem caught up in it
It's his question, "why won't you talk to me?", that has everything tumbling out into the open. He's furious that you got so much less than you deserved, and hurt that he hurt you
... Would you like to yell with him, next time?
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theladybarnes · 19 hours
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CRIMSON AND CLOVER: CHAPTER SEVEN
“What if I'm not good? What if I'm the monster?”
▸ summary: things get messy between the group and you feel as if you’re out of luck (&time) ▸ characters: steve harrington, eddie munson,dustin henderson, robin buckley, max mayfield, & nancy wheeler ▸ word count: 10k ▸ warnings: angst, semi-fluff, mentions of death, slight canon divergence ▸ series masterlist
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“I guess the old man taught me well, huh?”
 The sudden weight of falling down into the cold street hit you harder than you expected. Forcing you to reach out and grip onto the blue car behind you. Wait, you know this car. 
 “What?..” you whispered, taking a step back. It was Billy’s blue Camaro, still warm from being recently used. But you weren’t anywhere near his car– Your thoughts are cut off when you suddenly take in your dim reflection from the car window. 
 The entirety of your right eye was black and teary. Instead of being trapped in the mall again, you’re suddenly back from having just left the tunnels that had run beneath Hawkins. But if you're by Billy’s car then..
 Turning around, you nearly gasped at the sight of Billy. He’s healthier than the last time you saw him. No Flayer tentacles stuck in his chest. No dead look in his eyes. He was back to the regular asshole you knew before. The sight of his former appearance has you taken back. 
 “Billy..” you croaked, unsure what to say. “I-...”
 “She’s speechless.” Billy laughed, taking a step towards you. “What a nice change.”
 Every part of you is aware that this isn’t real, but seeing him before you is leaving your mind puzzled. “You should go inside, Billy.” you got out eventually, gesturing toward his home, but the moment you glanced over, you noticed it was gone. The land stripped down to just the gutted floor of the house. Only the lawn had been laid intact. 
 “I don’t have a home anymore. I don’t have anything.” he said slowly, voice dark as he inched closer. You tried to step back, but something about his tone had your feet frozen in place. He took the chance to stand behind you now, wrapping his arms around you in order to pull you close. 
 He was ice cold.
 “All because of you..” he said into your ear, tickling your skin with his cold breath. 
 “I didn’t..I didn’t do anything to you, Billy.”
 “Exactly,” he agreed. “You didn’t help me..you didn’t save me. You let me die, you let the flayer get me.” 
 His grip got tighter, causing you to wince out in pain. You had to get out of this. “Let me go.” you said calmly despite the chill that was now coming up your spine. “Billy, let me GO.”
 “It’s sad when you consider what’s happened,” he continued on, pressing his face against the side of yours. “Billy said that he loved you, tried to get back together with you, and you left him in the dust for a guy that wouldn’t even consider leaving town for you.” 
 There were so many alarms going off in your head but you couldn’t help but focus on one in particular. 
 “Billy? You mean yourself, right?” you asked, trying to turn your face to look at him. But he simply reached one of his cold arms up to pinch at your cheeks, forcing you to look at the empty lot in front of you. 
 “No one is ever going to pick you, you know? At the end of the day it’ll always be someone better, someone worth sticking around you. There’s no happy ending for you.” His lips ghosted around the base of your neck before he chuckled lightly against you. “No happy ending for us..”
 You shook your head, trying to get his daunting words out of your head. “I’m nothing like you..”
 That only made him even more amused, raising a laugh out of his chest. “We’re a lot alike, actually.” he hummed, “We use people for pleasure and toss them aside when they decide to go against what we want.”
 “I don’t do that.” you said, turning around enough to face him. He looked at you with a smirk before he pinched at your cheek. “I would never do that to anyone.” you added, swatting his hand away.
 “So you didn’t dump Steve for saying no to the big move?” he gasped, feigning shock. “Or better yet, you’re not ditching your poor Eddie after he left you alone to wander the forest? I mean, you didn’t even bother to let him speak. He’s probably beating himself up but you don’t care. Not when Stevie is giving you the ol’ love and attention you need. Which, let’s be honest, babydoll, is pretty shitty of you to use him for a quick fuck instead of talking things out. Thought that’s the sort of shit girls like to do.”
 His words cut through you like knives, dredging up thoughts you tried to bury deep down. But then, something shifted. Billy mentioned Eddie, someone he couldn't possibly have known about. Their paths never crossed once if you thought hard about it. 
 "You don't know Eddie," you said slowly, voice struggling between sounding calm and trembling. "How could you possibly know what I’ve done with him if you’re dead..”
 A sinister smile twisted Billy's lips as his grip tightened, sending searing pain coursing through your body. "He’s been watching you," he confessed, his voice dripping with malice. "And boy does he have plans for all of you..”
 The world around you began to fall apart. The dark sky falling apart like fabric unraveling to reveal a dark crimson sky. The distance etched with bursts of lightning to light up a world in an ominous glow. 
 “This isn’t happening..” you promised yourself, eyes squeezed shut, desperately trying to convince yourself that this was just a dream, that none of it was real.
 “Oh babydoll, did you still think this was just a dream?” (tick)
 The arms around you felt different, and you opened your eyes in time to see Billy back to looking like the night of mall fire. His eyes glistened with tears and smile oozed with the dark bloody liquid that seeped from all over his wounds. 
 “Time for a wake up call.” (tock)
 Before you could react, he shoved you with a force that sent you crashing to the ground. Landing hard on the unforgiving concrete that shot your body in instant pain. Just as you began to process what had just happened, a deafening roar filled the air.
 To your right, the blinding headlights of an oncoming car came into your vision, hurtling toward you at a terrifying speed. You barely managed to get your hands up to cover your face right as it was about to hit you.
 And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, you woke up.
 Gasping for air, you sat bolt upright in bed, heart racing with adrenaline. Sweat soaked your skin, and a sense of lingering dread clung onto you like a heavy cloak. The warm glowing light of the sun peeked through your curtains. Nothing like the red haunting sky that was in your dream. New day, new nightmare. You thought.
 “Hey, are you awake?” 
 Dustin burst into the room, nearly sending you back into panic mode as you scrambled to get out of the bed. Defensive position ready for the attack. The younger boy held onto the door knob in shock, holding a hand out too in case you were about to strike him.
 “Whoa,” he chuckled nervously, looking at you carefully. “You okay? You’re all sweaty.” 
 You licked over your lips, pushing back the hair away from your face. “I’m fine.” you nodded, trying to calm yourself down. “Just got spooked.”
 “Right,” he said slowly, skeptically, even. “Well, Steve called. Said he was going to head over here if you wanna shower or something before leaving.”
 Turning away from your cousin, you tried to gain some sort of control over yourself as you trudged over to your dresser. Picking out some clothes you could change into after your shower. But from behind you could feel Dustin lingering at the door, a familiar worry still in the air.
 “I’m fine, Dustin.” you said, before he could ask. You focused on the clothes before you gathered for your shower. “It was just a bad sleep.” 
 “You sure? Because..we’d all get if it you needed a day to jump back into–”
 “I said I’m fine!” you snapped, turning around finally. The glare on your face is enough to have him take a step back. As if your words were a slap to his face. Guilt quickly filled into your gut and you rubbed a hand over your tired face. “I’m sorry I’m just tired.”
 “I get it.” he cleared his throat, “I’ll be in the living room.”
 Without another word, he turned on his heels and made his exit. Not two minutes into the day and you were already messing things up again. 
 “Time for a wake up call.” 
 You shuddered at the words that repeated in your head and quickly left the room. Hoping for the shower to wash away the remnants of your latest nightmare and give you a chance to start the day fresh.
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 The car ride to the supermarket was spent mostly with Dustin yammering to Steve about the plans for today while you sat quietly in the back. The nightmare that pulled you out of your sleep still left you frazzled. Even with the help of a hot shower that tried to wash away the haunting memory. So while Steve kept checking over you now and then, you managed to keep to yourself until you guys arrived at the market. 
 Instantly Dustin wandered off in search of snacks for Eddie once inside. Leaving you and Steve to navigate the supermarket aisles together as a small awkward tension lingered in the air. You focused on gathering supplies, your mind preoccupied with thoughts of what would be enough to last Eddie for the unforeseeable future. 
 "Hey," Steve's voice broke through the silence, causing you to glance up from the decorated can of the Smurf’s Beef Ravioli you were inspecting. His curious gaze met yours, and you couldn't help but notice the worry etched into his features.
 "You look exhausted," he remarked softly, his tone filled with genuine concern.
 You wanted to sigh. 
 Of course Steve would be the first one today to distinctly look past all the makeup you expertly applied this morning to notice the exhaustion you were feeling. After the harsh nightmare, the bags in your eyes seemed to take a permanent residence. Offering a weary smile, you attempted to brush past his observation in order to change the mood. “Is that your subtle way of saying I look terrible?” 
 His eyes widened, worried for a second that you were being serious. “Of course not!” he scoffed, moving closer to you. “You’re gorgeous..but I can tell you look exhausted.” 
 You watched him carefully, waiting to see if he’d crack from the line of questioning, but when he tilted his head at you, keeping a worried gaze, you let out the withheld sigh, giving in a little bit. “I had a pretty harsh nightmare, don’t think I really slept well the whole night.”
 The palm of his hand met your cheek gently. Thumb rubbing against the soft skin before he reached over to push a piece of hair away from your face. "That bad, huh?" he murmured, looking at your features. "Why don't you let me stay over tonight? Just a friendly sleepover. You can wake me up if things get too intense."
 You couldn't help but chuckle at his offer. Recalling the past summer filled with nights of him on the pretense of just sleeping. "A sleepover, really? With just the two of us?"
 He shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. "It's not like it's the first time I've slept over at your place."
 You raised an eyebrow, unable to suppress a teasing grin from tugging on your face. “Well, if I recall correctly, we didn’t really sleep at those either.”
 A faint blush crept up Steve's cheeks, and he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Okay, fair point," he admitted, a hint of embarrassment coloring his voice. "But seriously, I just want to help. You don't have to go through this alone."
 It would be so easy to say yes. Give in to that natural urge that always wanted the company of the man before you. To have him by your side and give you all the attention and care you know he would willingly give to you. But your nightmare played in your mind again and you couldn’t help but feel the familiar twist of guilt form in your stomach again. 
 You opened your mouth to decline the offer when a case of YooHoos was placed quickly into the cart. An out of breath Dustin wiped over the sweat from his forehead, looking between the two of you expectantly. “It’s almost ten and we still have to pick up the others. Let’s go.” 
 Steve looked over still waiting on an answer from you but all you could do is offer a meek smile. “All right,” you nodded to Dustin. “Let’s head out.” Without looking back, you made your way towards the registers. Stomach twisting more than ever now.
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 Thankfully picking up Robin and Max turned out to be quicker than expected. Max had taken the bus to the other girl’s house, making the trips cut down less after Dustin explained you’d also have to make a stop at the hilltop to use his Cerebro. And after some unsettling updates from the Hawkins police department, you all were able to finally make the drive over to the Lipton boat house.
 A part of you was slightly nervous to face Eddie again after yesterday. You never really felt the best after chewing out people you cared about. But add the hurt from the day before, plus the predicament with Steve, and the newest bit of information, your body was slowly aching in all sorts of places as you tried to navigate each feeling.
 “The streets should be busy today, most of Hawkins are probably over their hangovers from  Friday and have to go back to shopping for the week. We’ll have time to look for clues around the trailer later.” you heard Dustin say to everyone as he and Max took the lead towards the boat house. 
 “God,” you said suddenly, stopping in place. The days quickly calculated in your mind and you couldn’t help but feel another worry. Robin and Steve both turned at your voice, looking at you curiously before you wiped your hands over your face. “I was supposed to work with Keith today..”
 The two of them looked at each other for a second before letting out amused chuckles. 
 “What’s so funny?” you frowned.
 “Honey, Robin and I closed up the store at seven o’clock last night so we could all go find Eddie.” Steve cleared up.
 “Not to mention Steve was gone a whole hour before that to go find you.” she snorted, trudging over with the groceries still in hand as she draped an arm over your shoulder. “We’re totally fired.”
 “Fired?” you gaped, slightly worried by how easily over it they seemed to be. “B-but you guys needed the jobs!”
 “There’s thousands of other part time jobs in Hawkins, kid.” Robin sighed, giving you a tight lipped smile. “We’ll just have to update our resumes..again.”
 She left with that, leaving the two of you behind to join the others down the hill. Glancing at Steve, you opened your mouth, ready to apologize about his likely termination, but he quickly leaned over to press a finger to your lips.
 “Don’t even think about apologizing.” he said sternly. “Because no one in the whole world could have stopped me from leaving. Not when it comes to you.”
 Again, you’re left speechless by the man before you. 
 There couldn’t be any proper explanation as to why Steve continuously gave you more than you deserved. Not one that you would believe in anyway. You’ve hurt him, pushed him, and left him with no reason to do things for you. And off he’d go, ditching his life’s responsibilities just to look out for your well being. 
 It’s all so overwhelming and you find you’re stumped enough that it’s taking a second longer to think of a reply.
 “Trouble..” he said after a second of your silence. 
 You quickly scrambled together a response good enough to divert the seriousness that he seemed to be leading things to lately. Something you know he’ll grow tired of eventually and confront you about. But for now, you’d stick with easing the already harsh day as best as you could.
 “I was just going to say I’m glad we won’t have to wear that vest anymore.”
 “Right.” he said, sucking in a sharp breath. Then suddenly, he leaned over enough that he could look at your face closely. “Are you..okay?” 
Okay seemed to be the last word you’d use to describe yourself. Especially after this morning’s nightmare. But considering the man lost his job to help you out the last time, you figure you should cut this worrisome question short. 
“I have a lot on my mind.” You shrugged. “Just..girl problems.”
His brows were knitted tightly together, skeptical of your response. But before he could throw in a follow up question, the sound of Robin calling out to you guys put a stop to that.  
“We should go..” he said eventually.
 Not wanting to lag behind any longer, you dashed down the hill to the others, catching a glance back to see Steve rub at his face until he remembered to follow after you. The two of you joined just in time to open the door into the boat house. 
 There’s a slightly yelp sound and the five of you watched as a frightened Eddie looked over at the doorway with wide eyes. Apparently he didn’t notice or hear any of you approaching at all. 
 “Delivery service!” Dustin exclaimed, a wide grin on his face as he lifted up the grocery bags. 
 Apparently, you weren’t the only one whose morning was off to a rough start.
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  The five of you gathered around Eddie, giving him a few minutes to calm down. But that calmness quickly left the moment Dustin gave him the box of Honeycomb. All there was after that was the crazy amount of crunching as Eddie stuffed as many as he could into his mouth. 
 “So we got, uh, some good news and some bad news.” Dustin started hesitantly. “How do you prefer it?”
 “Bad news first, always.” Eddie said as if there’d be any other way.
 “All right, bad news. We tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro, and they’re definitely looking for you.” he said before blinking hard, forgetting the last important fact. “Also, they’re, uh, pretty convinced you killed Chrissy.”
 “Like, one hundred percent kind of convinced.” Max said next, looking at him solemnly.
 “And the good news?” Eddie asked, perplexed. 
 Robin looked down at him with a familiar gaze to Max’s as she spoke up next. “Your name hasn’t gone public yet. But if we found out about you, it’s a matter of time before others do too. And once that gets out, everyone and their shallow-minded mother is gonna be gunning out for you.”
 You can’t help but feel worse hearing everyone lay out the information than from the dispatch. From where you stood behind Dustin, you could see as Eddie’s face paled at the truth. 
 “Hunt the freak, right?”
 “Exactly.” Robin confirmed.
 The memory of the crash came to mind from his words. Freak of the town. Now it was going to be a man hunt with him as the prey. Dustin before you held a hand out, piping in with what he figured would be words of encouragement. 
 “So, before that happens, we need to find Vecna, kill him, and prove your innocence.”
 “That’s all, Dustin? That’s all?” 
 “Yeah, no, that’s pretty much it.”
 You can’t help but snort at Dustin’s reply. Feeling the pessimism seeping into your mood. There were too many variables to this idea that made it almost impossible to complete. And while you didn’t want to join in on adding salt to Eddie’s wounds, you couldn’t help but shake your head.
 “And after all this we’ll have you back home in time for dinner.” you said offhandedly, keeping your eyes down at your nails. Steve and Dustin turned their gazes over their shoulders to look over at you questionably, making you sheepishly wave them off as you stepped closer towards the group. 
 “Listen, Eddie,” piped Robin as she attempted to lift up his spirits. “I know everything Dustin is saying sounds totally delusional, but we’ve actually been through this before. I mean, they have a..a few times,” she said gesturing to the three of you. Steve confirmed her words with a reassuring nod as she went on. “And..and I have once. Mine was more human-flesh-based, and theirs was more smoke-related, but bottom line is, collectively, I really feel we got this.” 
 “Yeah, see, we usually rely on this girl who has super powers. But, uh, those went bye-bye, so uh..” Steve said quickly, adding a true fact that you felt didn’t really help much considering El wasn’t even in town in the first place. 
 “So, we’re technically in more of the–” Robin volleyed in.
 “Kinda..”
 “Brainstorming phase.” Max finished, seeming to conclude where Robin and Steve were going with their words.
 “There..There’s nothing to worry about.” Dustin spluttered, attempting to bring the group in together. 
 Eddie was rightfully stunned at everyone, tilting his head in shock as he stared at his friend in disbelief. But he’s soon after glancing over to you finally. Looking for what you had to say. In fact, everyone glanced over at you, almost waiting for you to say otherwise.
 And while you parents always said they admired your candor, not everyone around you reacted the best to it. 
 So, you shot him a small tight lipped smile, nodding your head to everyone. “We’re gonna help you, Ed.” you said honestly. “Just..hopefully without any more..complications.” 
 As if the universe was waiting for their cue, the sounds of sirens cut through the silence of the group. Grabbing all the attention off of you as everyone quickly reacted to the new possible threat. 
 “Tarp.” Robin pointed out. “Tarp!” 
 Eddie quickly concealed himself underneath the fabric while the rest of you dashed over to the windows. Peering out through the dirty glass in time to watch as police cars and ambulances zipped past the front of the house. 
 “Where the hell are they going?” you heard Dustin mutter under his breath. His gaze shifted up to you curiously. 
 “I don’t know, but we need to go find out.”
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As the group dispersed from the boat house, you felt a hand gently grab at your arm, halting your exit. Turning around, you found Eddie out from the safety of his tarp. Looking at you with remorse in his eyes. You could practically feel how nervous he was. 
 "Hey," he began softly, "I need to talk to you for a sec."
 Sensing where this conversation was going to go, you almost wanted to reject him. You weren’t sure how many tense conversations you could handle for the day. But seeing as you weren’t certain of when you’d actually see Eddie again, you nodded your head and stayed in place.
 "I wanted to apologize," he continued, his voice tinged with regret. "For that shit back at the van, the woods, all of it. I know it was messed up,..I never meant for any of that to happen."
 His words stirred conflicting emotions within you. Anger, frustration, but also a bit of understanding. 
 At this point, you knew Eddie. He was the same guy who’d get annoyed with your lectures about his fashion taste, or who’d try and kiss you whenever you had a bad day at work, and who would bring out that ridiculous Mick Jagger impression that made you laugh before the first bell rang. He was impulsive, but never malicious. 
 Still, the wounds still lingered inside of you. 
 "I was terrified, Eddie," you admitted, voice barely rising above a whisper despite the anger behind it. "Being lost in those woods...I had no idea where I was going or what was around me. I just saw Chrissy die and woke up to a world of mess."
 His expression softened, and you could see the heavy remorse returned back to his features. "I'm so sorry, Princess.” he croaked, hands reached out to grip onto your arms. “I promise I'll make it up to you, however I can. I won't let you down again."
 You pushed away remaining doubt that wanted to linger behind. Wanting to believe that there were still ways to turn things around. At least in terms of your friendship with Eddie. He was there for you through your shitty moments, it was time you took your turn in being there for him. 
 In this case, his moment being a murder case. 
 “Well, let’s make a habit out of not ditching each other in the woods then.” you said finally. 
 He snorted excitedly, chuckling a bit at your reaction before he pulled you in a tight hug that had you patting his back just to calm him down. “Sounds reasonable to me.” 
 “Good.” you laughed, giving him a final pat to release you out of his tight hold. “Uhh, Eddie? Kinda need to go work on saving your ass now.” 
 “Sorry,” he muttered, loosening up his grip. “I was just kinda worried we’d stop being friends..”
 You pulled back to look up at him, searching his eyes for a moment before you nodded your head. “We’re still friends..”
 “Good, because now that we’re square again, I really gotta say, you look like shit.” 
 “What is it with you guys today? I mean, I am tired, but seriously what the fu–” your words are cut off when Eddie leaned in to press his lips against yours. It wasn’t the most unusual reaction from him. There had been many times he’d say something to annoy you and cut off your anger with a sloppy kiss. But at the current time you couldn’t help but think about the last kiss you had from a freakout. And many other things you did with the man who gave it to you.
 "Eddie, I..." you trailed off, unable to find the right words to explain the complexity of problems you had going on. Especially the ones in your love life.
 He quickly retreated, a sheepish smile playing on his lips. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"
 Suddenly, a throat cleared from behind, cutting into the moment. Instantly your heart plummeted as you turned to see Steve standing under the threshold of the door. Expression unreadable. How much did he see? How much did he hear?
 "We’re ready to go," he stated curtly, avoiding your gaze. “If you two are done.”
 Without waiting for you to reply, he quickly turned and left the doorway to join the others back up where the car was. You let out a tired sigh, unsure how you were going to even explain anything of what he just witnessed. All you knew was this was slowly turning from a bad morning to a crappy day.
 “Did I just make things worse?” you heard Eddie chuckle behind you.
 “No, Ed, I think I did.”
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 Despite the awkwardness of your late entrance to the car, the group made it just in time to catch the location of where the cops were heading to. It was towards the main road that led over to Forest Hills.
 Everyone slowly began to murmur out curious questions as to what it could be. Chrissy’s body had already been covered, what could have happened in just a day?
 The car came to a slow stop and the group slowly made an exit out of the car. Looking around what looked like a scene of a crime. Amongst the cars surrounding the area was one that caught your attention quickly. Coroner. But before you could mention that, the sight of a brightly colored skirt caught your attention.
 Talking close to the newly appointed Sheriff Powell stood Nancy. 
 You stepped out on the road, ready to make your way over to join her when a hand tugged on your elbow. Steve, who despite still held some difference towards you since the boathouse, did not want you going forward. Only cocking his chin in the direction of the girl.
 She looked relieved to see you guys but you could tell from the furrow in her brow that she was more than upset. Looking close to crying. Still, she held up a weak hand, waving over at the group with a pained expression. 
 “Shit.” you heard Max whisper. She pointed over towards the side of the road. On the floor, just past your friend, was another body, covered up in a white sheet.
 Vecna’s second victim.
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 Picking at your nails had seemed to be a new habit of yours now. Previously used to keep you busy from conversations slowly turned into you using it to distract yourself from the reality of things. Like right now, as the group gathered around one of the lunch tables just outside of Eddie’s trailer, listening to Nancy explain what the police had found, you were currently tearing at the side of your hangnail.
 Fred was gone. Just the same as Chrissy. Meaning that Dustin was right about this not being the last of Vecna’s attacks. But the idea of it being people you all knew seemed to make this whole thing more sickening.
It was eerie to be back in the trailer park. You made it a point to sit at the side of the table facing the Munson home. Needing to keep your eyes locked on the place again in case of anything odd happening. At one point you felt a hand slowly pat over at your leg, making you jump a bit before glancing to your left.
 Steve stared at you expectantly before he shook his head in confusion. “You with us?” he asked softly, voice with the familiar tinge of worry. 
 Nodding your head, you tucked your hands down into your lap, looking at the three girls across from you. 
 “So, you’re saying that this thing that killed Fred and Chrissy, it’s from the Upside Down?”
 “If the shoe fits,” Steve said simply before he looked at you again. “Right?”
 “Well, considering the lights blinked like usual before the attack happened. I’d say yes.”
 “Our working theory is that he attacks with a spell or a curse.” Dustin added. “Now, whether or not he’s doing the bidding of the Mind Flayer or just loves killing teens, we don’t know.”
 “All we know is that this is something different.” Max joined in, a frown etched on her face as she glanced amongst everyone. “Something new.”
 “Doesn’t make sense.” Nancy muttered, shaking her head. 
 You reached over to place a hand towards her, gaining her attention to you. “Has anything about the Upside Down ever made sense?” you asked honestly, “Besides, this is still a work in progress.”
 “She’s right, it’s only a theory.” Dustin said after you. 
 “No, Fred and Chrissy don’t make sense.” Nancy explained, putting together something in her head. “I mean, why them?”
 “Maybe they were just in the wrong place. “ Dustin tried. “They were both at the game.”
 Max nodded her head, following the pieces coming together. “And near the trailer park.”
 “We’re at the trailer park.” Steve pointed out slowly. “Uhh, should we maybe not be here?”
 You sucked in a slow breath before leaning back to look around the area. It looked the same as when you’d come to visit Eddie. Max’s trailer was still just across the way, and the sound of wind chimes still echoed in the distance. But one glance back to the Munson trailer and you felt your stomach dip. 
“There is something about this place.” Nancy said after a second. “Fred started acting weird the second we got here.”
 Robin looked over at Nancy curiously.  “Acting weird as in..?”
 “Scared, on edge, upset.”
 It completely bothered you how similar you felt to that right now. But you could practically feel worried glances from some of the people at the table, so you bottled down speaking up on that in favor of hearing what Dustin had to say next.
 “Max said Chrissy was upset too.” 
 “Yeah, but not here.” she shook her head. “She was crying in the bathroom at school.”
 For a second you couldn’t help but feel a twist in your stomach at the idea of Chrissy. She was so nice in the van that night. Wanting to take the special K just to get through the night without feeling overwhelmed. But her troubles were vastly bigger than she laid out for you and you couldn’t help but feel bad for not reaching out more when you had the chance. 
 “Serial killers stalk their prey before they strike, right?” Robin asked, cutting into silence. “So, maybe Fred and Chrissy saw this Vecman–”
 “Vecna.” Dustin quickly corrected.
 “I don’t know about you guys but if I saw some freaky wizard monster, I would mention it to someone.” Steve said. His eyes looked to you, almost like he was expecting you to agree with him. And while the logical side of you did, something deep inside was stopping you entirely from speaking out. 
 “Maybe they did.” Max considered slowly. “I saw Chrissy leaving Ms. Kelley’s office. If you saw a monster, you..you wouldn’t go to the police. They’d never believe you. But you might go to your–”
 “Your shrink.” Robin concluded. 
 The idea of Fred and Chrissy having a connection through Ms. Kelley did little to ease your growing anxiety. Especially when you remembered that amongst the few students that happened to be stuck in her counseling sessions, was you.
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  Not wanting to waste the day, the group quickly left the bench to head over to the next destination. Hopefully Max could find her way into getting out some information about the others from Ms. Kelley. 
 You’re walking close beside Nancy when she elbowed your side, raising a brow to you before nodding towards the direction of her car. You almost wanted to ask her what she had meant when she gave you a familiar look. Quickly getting the hint that she had something else in mind, you casually turned towards the car. That is until the group’s den mother seemed to take notice.
 “Whoa, whoa, HEY! HEY!” Steve said, jogging after the two of you. “Where are you guys going?”
 “Oh, there’s just something I wanna check on first.” she explained simply, nudging at your side quickly. 
 “I’m gonna go with her, you know Nancy Drew needs Bess Marvin and all that.” you waved, trying to make a turn for the car again.
 “Something you guys wanna share with the rest of us?” Dustin asked, slightly offended.
 “I don’t wanna waste your time. It’s a real shot in the dark.” she said shyly, kicking at the dirt for a second. You nodded your head, looking over at the rest of the group with a small smile.
 “If she’s got a hunch, it might be worth checking out guys. We’ll be back soon.” you reassured them.
 “Hey, you can’t just ditch us.” Dustin scoffed. “Besides, it’s better to keep an eye on you if you’re suddenly turned into a suspect and we need to hide you up with Eddie.”
 Max looked over at Dustin before she nodded her head, agreeing. “There’s still a chance your name could come up. If we can’t reach you then we wouldn’t be able to help you on time.”
 Something told you that there might be another reason Dustin and Max wanted you to stay and while you were sure nothing would happen while going with Nancy, you also didn’t want to make things harder on anyone. Especially with these two out of all them showing concern openly.
 “Looks like I’m with the kids.” you sighed, turning defeatedly to Nancy. “Think you’ll be okay?”
 “I’ll be an hour or two tops.” she nodded. “We’ll regroup after that.”
 “Yeah okay. Are you guys out of your mind?” Steve asked, looking at you two a little perplexed. “Flying solo with this Vecna creep on the loose? No, it’s too dangerous. You need..you need someone to..” His face turned hard with a sudden frustration as he looked at Nancy worriedly. Your stomach caught onto that tension quicker than your brain and twisted slightly at a growing feeling you haven’t felt in a while. Steve didn’t seem to notice as he turned to toss his keys over to Robin.
 “Here you go. I’ll stick with Nance.” he said quickly. “You guys take the car, check out the shrink.”
 The girl caught the keys awkwardly, giving Steve a confused look as she pointed over to the car. “Don’t think you want me driving your car.” she said wearily. 
 “Didn’t think he let anyone drive the car.” you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Last time he nearly had a heart attack and that was just driving in the streets.”
 Steve blinked over at you confused before he turned back to Robin. “Why?” he asked, ignoring your jab. 
 “I don’t have a license.”
 “Why don’t you have a license?” he asked frustratedly. 
 “I’m poor.” she reasoned with a shrug. 
 “I can drive.” Max offered, only adding fuel to Steve’s emotions. 
 “No, No! Never again. Please. Anybody but you. NO.” he argued.
 Dustin, ever with his perfect timing, looked at Steve with his arms out. As if he were ready to take on the responsibility that no one on the team could take. From behind Steve you could see as his body deflated at his choices. 
 “No chance.”
 “Come on!”
 Nancy looked a little uncomfortable at Steve’s persistence, only casting you an apologetic look. You on the other hand could not stop the familiar green monster from trying to crawl its way up from the depths of your soul. Unsure where Steve’s need to be around Nancy came from just yet. But you knew by now that it wasn’t the best idea to act on those feelings just yet.
 Finally Steve glanced back to you, raising a brow questionably. 
 Bastard.
 “Fine,” you said calmly, earning a small shock from the group. As if they expected some other reaction from you. Taking a step towards him, you held out your hand, giving Steve a sweet smile. “I’ll take your car.” 
 Steve nervously licked over his lips. Eyes shifting from your hand, then to Nancy, and then back at you. “No,” he gulped, shaking his head lightly. “I sense I made a mistake of some kind.”
 Fed up with everything, Robin reached for the walkie in Dustin’s bag and stepped in. “All right, okay. This is stupid. Us ladies will stick together.” she confirmed, putting the keys back into Steve’s hands. Her eyes gave him a warning look before she marched over to join Nancy’s side. “Unless you think we need you to protect us?” she said with a humorous chuckle.
 The two of you didn’t move from your spot. Only watching as Robin made her way towards Nancy’s car. Taking the lead for their exit. Nancy gave you both a sympathetic shrug before she mouthed an apology to you before turning on her heels to catch up with the other girl.
 “Be careful!” he called out, Robin turned around, shooting out a peace sign before she glanced at you. 
 “Should be saying that to yourself!” she laughed, giving you a wink.
 From the corner of your eye you can feel as Steve nervously looked over at you. His previous annoyance went away when he noticed your change in demeanor. Without another thought you walked towards his car, avoiding his gaze as you made your way towards the car doors. He quickly rushed over, moving to open up the passenger door for you, a small tight lip smile on his face.
 Ignoring that offer, you carefully opened up the backseat and slipped in beside Max. Avoiding his gaze as you slammed the door shut. From the outside you could hear Dustin chortle at his friend as he moved to take the free spot. “Nice one,” he said to Steve. “You just gonna stand there and gawk?”
 “Dude, shut up.”
 “Why don’t we go? Okay?” he said teasingly.
 “Shut up and get in the car.” he ordered. “Wipe your feet.”
 You watched as Dustin carelessly began to wipe his feet inside the car. Almost comically as he patted the shoe against the clean interior floor, earning another explosive reaction from Steve. 
 “On the outside, not the inside!”
 There was a bit more huffing between the two as they finally got into their seats. Leaving the car in a second of silence. Steve glanced back at you, opening his mouth to say something. But instead of giving him the chance to say anything, you turned in your seat, facing your direction to look out the window. Giving you the chance to give him a bit of the silent treatment. 
 “Always the babysitter.” Steve muttered angrily, turning on the engine of the car. “Always the GODDAMN babysitter!”
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 You watched carefully from your side of the car as Max entered inside Ms. Kelley’s home. Only looking back at you guys once before the door closed up behind her. Hopefully the whole thing wouldn’t take as long and the four of you could make your way back to others and give you space away from Steve. 
 “So..we gonna talk about..it?”
 Glancing to your right, you looked into the passenger mirror to find Dustin looking at Steve. He seemed to have purposely left his window open enough that you were able to eavesdrop into their conversation. 
 “Huh? Sorry, talk about what?” Steve asked, barely paying attention.
 “Your temporary insanity earlier today when you basically threw yourself at Nance? And in front of my cousin of all people.”
 It took everything in you not to react to what you just heard. Your cousin’s words basically confirm the worries that hit you in the trailer park. The little green monster inside was practically dancing as it festered on the negative energy building up inside of you. 
 “Okay, first of all, that’s not what happened.” Steve said defensively. 
 “Pretty sure that’s what happened.” he countered. “It was public, there were like, a lot of witnesses. The prime one being at the back of your car right now.”
 He made it a point to glance at you through the mirror, catching your glaring gaze. He looked like he was about to change things up from his expression but you quickly shook your head, nodding in the direction of Steve’s side of the car for him to continue. 
 “Uh-Are you implying I still have a thing for Nance? Really? Me?”
 “No, I’m not implying.” he said, shaking his head. “I’m stating. And, as it relates to your current break up leaving you to go on various dates, it’s pretty much the only logical explanation.”
“That’s not the only one.” Steve denied quickly. “You know what I’ve been going through. What I’ve been thinking. And as for Nance, I was just trying to protect a friend.”
 From the mirror you could see Dustin’s face turned amused, like he was beyond believing that statement in the slightest way. You let out a small sigh, glancing down at the ground almost..defeatedly.
 This wasn’t even something you had the right to be angry about. If anything, the only reason you had room to speak on the situation was the fact that Nancy was currently dating your best friend and you couldn’t just let Steve of all people step in on that.
 God, that thought alone made you feel sick.
 “A friend, Henderson. Okay?” Steve said after noticing Dustin’s silence. 
 “Okay.”
 “I don’t wanna find her in the morning with her eyes sucked out of the front of her skull by this Vecna creep.”
 Dustin let out an amused giggle. “You’re bright red in the face right now!”
 Not having it in your stomach to listen to anything else, you stomped away from the car. Trying not to let the stinging tears in your eyes slip out. Your mind viciously shoots you into a memory from the first fall when Billy arrived. His terrorizing had slowly come to an end that night but not without some parting words to you.
 “He’ll never get over Wheeler. It’s that first love shit that chicks are so keen for. He’ll never get away from that feeling. Trust me, I’d know.”
 Back then you convinced yourself that he wasn’t telling the truth. That he took your weakness that night to try and get under your skin. But now? Now your mind is so frazzled and so broken lately that everything is turning into doubt. 
 “Get in the car.”
 You turned around to find Max rushing over to the car door, giving you a wide look before she entered inside. Quickly, you joined in after her, closing up the door in time to catch her giving Steve an order to drive. He’s quick to start up the car, setting all of you to hit against the seats as he sped away from the house.
 Eventually Max briefly explained what happened inside and stated that the best way to get more information would be in Ms. Kelley’s office at the school. You tried to explain it’d be a lot harder to break in due to the break but she simply held up a pair of office keys. 
 Suddenly the walkie in Dustin’s lap let out a loud squawk before a voice suddenly spoke through.
 “Dustin. It’s Lucas. Do you copy? Dustin.”
 The sudden sound of your friend’s voice had you and Max quickly leaning over your seats, trying to listen in on the incoming message. 
 “Lucas? Where the hell have you been?” Dustin asked into the walkie. 
 “Just listen.” Lucas pleaded. “Are you guys looking for Eddie?”
 “Yeah and we found him, no thanks to you.” he chided back. 
 “You found him?”
 “He’s at a boathouse on Coal Mill Road. Don’t worry, he’s safe.”
 “You guys know he killed Chrissy, right?” Lucas asked worriedly. The car seemed to grow tense at that. Now the teens at the school surely knew he was the main suspect. Time was beginning to run out. 
 “That’s bullshit. Eddie tried to save Chrissy. My cousin was there!”
 “She was there too?! Wait, then why do all the cops say he did it?”
 Max, having had enough, reached over for the walkie. “Lucas, you’re so behind it’s ridiculous, okay? Just meet us at the school. We’ll explain later.”
 “I..I can’t. I think some real bad shit’s about to go down.”
 “What are you talking about? What bad shit?” she asked, but there was no response back. Almost as if the connection was lost. “Lucas? Lucas?” 
 “Line got cut off.” Dustin said, reaching back for the walkie. “What do you think he meant?”
 “I’m not sure.” Steve said, gripping the wheel tightly. “Let’s just get to the school.”
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  It was dark by the time the four of you arrived at Hawkins. The air held an eerie atmosphere as you guys parked discreetly in the back of the school. Couldn’t exactly have anyone checking by to see there was someone at the school this time of night.
Your cousin was thankfully prepared for the night again and quickly passed around a couple of flashlights, giving you guys some light to venture through the creepy halls with. 
 “I gotta say, didn’t think I’d be coming back here anytime soon.” Steve muttered to you, smacking at the side of his flashlight before it fully turned on. 
 “It’s definitely not the way I wanted to spend my Spring Break.” you nodded, flashing towards one of the classrooms. 
 There’s an awkward building tension between the two of you. A part of you wanted to squash down that anger from before, use it to keep focus on the problems at hand. But there was a bigger part inside that was gleefully ready to make a mess out of things. 
Per usual.
 “Didn’t think I’d spend the day like this.” he chuckled lightly, looking over at you. “Kind of a bad way to end the weekend don’t you think?”
 Something in his words, while innocent, just irked you. Making your whole body shift as you finally let free some of the venom that had been building up since the trailer park. 
 “Yeah, you must be having a pretty bad day considering you’re stuck babysitting with me instead of chumming it up with Robin or looking out for Nancy.”
 Steve looked almost as if your words were a slap to the face, staggering back a second before his expression quickly changed to annoyance. He reached a hand out to stop you from walking. 
 “Where’s that coming from?” he asked slowly.
 “Seriously?” you laughed, raising a brow at him. “Did you suddenly forget that little show you gave back in Forest Hills?” You made an effort to dramatically reenact tossing invisible car keys. “Here you go. I’ll stick with Nance.” you said in a dramatically deep voice. 
 He was unamused by that, pressing his lips together before he scratched at his hair. A nervous tick he got whenever something got under his skin. “I’m sorry I’m a little particular with who I hang out with at the moment. I figured you’d feel the same way considering you probably wanted to stick around with Eddie so you guys could make out and weirdly flirt again.” 
 Sometimes you forget that Steve’s as much of a former bitch as you were. Making his bite hurt particularly bad right now. Still, you weren’t one to back down from a verbal fight. 
 “Wow, I’m not really surprised you noticed everything I’m doing considering how you’ve been trying to figure out ways to keep me at home.” Tilting your head you step closer to look up at Steve. “Was worrying about me too much for you now that you want to display your macho-man persona to Nancy again?” 
 “You’re pulling that out of nowhere.” he scoffed, shaking his head at you. “I mean, really, how is me wanting you to stay home because I’m worried about how tired you look, suddenly turn into me trying to get back with Nancy?”
 “Oh, so now it’s suddenly trying get back with Nancy?”
 “No, you just said–”
 “I said you were showing off!” 
 He let out a long sigh, rubbing a hand over his face before he turned to look at you seriously. “All I offered was to go with Nancy so that she wasn’t alone. Her friend just died the same way Chrissy did and I didn’t want her to end up the same way. I was just trying to be a comforting friend.”
 “So you wanted to comfort her? Well, that’s great to hear considering we both know how you like to comfort people through their crisis, don’t we?”
 “I-It was different with you, okay?” He stuttered a bit, before he held his hands up, looking annoyed again. “You’re the one who is kissing some other guy and it’s me that’s trying to get with someone?”
 “As always, you always take one part of the picture to paint the story, your highness.” you sighed, pushing a hair out of your face. “But don’t worry, I’m sure Robin will put in a good word for you with Nancy since you’re so keen on chivalry.”
 “That’s not fair. That is not what I want.” he spat. “Look, I know that you two have a thing okay? I’m not going to step in on it but that doesn’t mean I have to be nice about it either. So, quit using the friendly friendship I have with Nance to compare your beneficial one with Eddie.”
 “There isn't a thing. God, Steve.” you frowned. “In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Eddie kissed me. I didn’t ask him to, nor to hold me, or anything. He’s just a friend..and I pulled back.”
 “That’s not the only thing you two have done, quit acting like it’s just some innocent friendship.”
 “If you can’t seem to remember, the only person around here that I’ve willingly done anything with in the past twenty-four hours, is you, so..” you said as a matter of fact. “Also I think it’s unfair that you get mad at Eddie for kissing me but quickly go around to play the brave knight in shining white Adidas to Nance.”
 “They’re Nikes!” he countered weakly. 
 You could only scoff at him in disbelief. “This conversation isn’t going anywhere. I’m sorry I’m not the one you want to be around right now, let’s just leave things at that.” 
 Taking a step to leave him you made an effort to follow after the two kids when Steve reached forward to grip at your arm. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t want you around. But I know you’re not okay right now. And the more you try and push yourself in this, the more I can tell that something else is bothering you.”
 He’s staring down at you with the familiar look of worry he’s been doing these past few days. Something that would have comforted you the other day, but not with how you were feeling right now.
 “You’re right.” you said softly, reaching up to gently pat at his hand. “There is something bothering me.”
 From the tone of your voice, Steve could easily tell where this was going to go, only giving you a pleading look as he tried to diffuse the comeback you were about to give him.
 “Don’t say it’s me-
 “It’s you.”
 Without a sparing glance, you pushed out of his grip and brushed and brushed past a nosy, lingering, Dustin in order to join Max at the front of the search. Her gaze stayed ahead, looking away from you, but from the corner of your eye you could see as she shook her head. A small smirk on her lips.
 “Well that was really nice.”
 “Oh, shut up.” You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Like you have any room to talk about niceties.”
 “I don’t?” She asked amusedly. 
 “Well considering your on and off history with Lucas, I’d think it’s fair to say you’re just as good with dealing with exes as I am.” 
 She frowned for a moment, seeming to think it over before she shrugged. “Guess we’re both kinda messed up.” 
 A part of you wanted to argue. Say how she’s wrong and that aside from what was currently going on, you were fine. But considering the dramatic fight you just shared for the two kids, you figured she wasn’t entirely wrong. “It’s kinda nice.” you said eventually, nudging her side playfully.
 “It’s nice that we’re messed up?” She chuckled, looking a little taken back. 
 “No,” you hummed lightly, “it’s nice we’re messed up together.” 
 She finally glanced over at you, giving you a weird look before laughing. “You’re so weird.” she said, nudging you back. 
 With that small bit of comfort, the two of you silently led the other boys the rest of the way to Ms. Kelley’s office. 
 The familiar lingering scent of her relaxing lavender candle hit your senses quickly once you entered inside. Which you were thankful for considering the small stress you seemed to be adding onto yourself. You were happy to finally have a moment where all you guys had to do was focus on the clues needed to progress your theories and not your current problems.
 “It’s like a mini-Watergate or something.” Dustin said behind you. “Hawkinsgate.”
 “Wait a second, didn’t those guys get caught?” asked Steve.
 You made your way over towards the desk, looking over the papers laid out neatly at the center of the table while Max peeked through the cabinet for the files. 
 “Holy shit.” she said suddenly.
 “You found it?” Steve asked, as the rest of you gathered around her.
 “Yeah, and not just Chrissy’s file. Fred was seeing Ms. Kelley too.” Her hand reached back into the cabinet, pulling out one more manila envelope before she turned over to face you. Her eyes focused on you intently as she held the file up in the air. “And so were you.”
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 Even with your eyes looking down at your file, you could feel the intense stare from Steve’s eyes. He hasn’t stopped looking at you ever since Max revealed your file to everyone. You couldn’t help but find it all worthless to bring up. To you, it was just your regular file. There was the first meeting recorded, the goals she wanted you to have for the next couple of years. Nothing out of the ordinary until this year. When she began to take notice of your reaction towards Billy’s death.
 “God,” you scoffed, looking down at her words. “Behavioral avoidance? What a load of crap.” 
 You carefully threw the file onto the desk, plopping down in her chair to look over at what Max had been reading across from you. 
 The folder containing Chrissy’s sessions quickly caught your eye. Making you curious to know what the girl truly had been going through before her untimely death. 
 “Can I see Fred’s file?” she asked suddenly. 
 “Yeah,” Steve said, passing the folder over to her. She quickly laid it out before her, flipping through the papers to collect whatever information caught her attention. From the side you could see as Steve carefully tried to reach out for your file. You made it a point to move away from him on the other side of the desk.
 Leaning over, you reached over for Chrissy’s file, looking over the small details listed on her last session. Headaches, nosebleeds, nightmares, anxiety, insomnia, trauma.. All things that made sense but..oddly familiar. Moving closer, you peered over to look down at Fred’s notes that Max had stopped at. 
 ..They were almost similar to Chrissy’s.
 But that didn’t make sense. It couldn’t. Because if that were the few connecting signs to what made Vecna attack Chrissy and Fred then what did that mean about you? Glancing back at your folder, you pushed through the notes again, trying to figure out if there was anything similar to what was on the other two folders. But there was nothing.
 Only the small note written at the corner of your last session.
 Might benefit if suggested with a group therapy. Perhaps with Max M.  Both suffer from related trauma.
 Related trauma? You thought.
 Glancing up from the papers, you peered over at Max worriedly. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she looked a lot like how you felt at the moment. But this couldn’t be right. You never voiced to Ms. Kelley any of these things. You weren’t seeing any weird Vecna monster or dealing with trauma. You were-
 “Perfectly fine?” (tick)
 You felt a cold shiver run down your back and glanced up in the room. Almost expecting to see if anyone else had heard that. There’s a heavy weight suddenly over you and you feel as if the air in the room was slowly being sucked out. This couldn’t be happening. You weren’t like the others. You weren’t going through these struggles you weren’t–
 “Going crazy? (tock)
“Max! MAX!” 
 The sounds of Dustin and Steve calling out to Max instantly pulled you out from you haunting thoughts. Before you was a frozen Max, still frozen in place. “Max?” you called out, getting out from your seat to kneel beside her. 
 Steve’s hand rested on your shoulders, concern on his face as he began to breathe heavily. “What’s going on?” he asked, voice uneasy. “What do we do?”
 “She’s just..I don’t know!” you panicked, shaking at her shoulders. “Max, c’mon. Talk to me!” But as you gazed into her vacant eyes, a chilling thought swept right through you. 
 Did you guys just run out of time?
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A/N: okay so this chapter is kinda messy. Reader is seriously losing her mind but I promise that trouble is gonna get her head on screwed right soon enough. Maybe after she remembers that Nancy is in love with Jonathan and Steve practically dropped everything to go to her. I blame Vecna tbh. And Billy from the afterlife. 
TAGGING LIST:  @cluz1babe​ , @starofavolonea​ , @darlingimafangirl (won’t let me tag), @primroseluna​,  & @siriuslysmoking​
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nightgoodomens · 2 days
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What do you think of what has happened in the last few days? Idk why but I'm sensing a shift in the dynamic of the 4 of them…
Well I can only guess…
This is going to be long:
Let’s look at the last few months.
So I did say from the beginning that the wives thing is nothing but pure promo for AL’s photoshoot. GT must have been asked to do it until BAFTAs because that’s when it stopped, and while AL tried to keep it going, GT cut her off very quickly - she was reposting her sometimes but not playing the wives tag game anymore. And then it stopped completely.
But anyway. I don’t think DT is a fan of AL. So either he put his foot down and said he doesn’t want her in the sketch, or… maybe she was meant to have a job by then and be gone. It would explain why she was not included in BAFTAs and why the wives thing ended right then too. And also why she was excluded from The Way. Let’s be honest here, she was excluded big time. It’s like… she wasn’t meant to be there anymore.
AL was clearly bothered. She snapped at a fan, she obsessively posted and reposted that she was there, she later whined about being dissed from The Way too. I sort of wondered whether she was under impression that she’d have more screen time and it was cut out, because she whined about people noticing the second she was left with as if there was meant to be more. It was all sort of bizarre since the producer was… her boyfriend. Like… go complain to him? Why you’re looking for attention from his fans?
So perhaps she was not meant to be there because of starting a career that… never actually happened so suddenly her heart “grew fonder” and she jumped on the love train of MS instead. It’s just so… blatant.
She tried to pull GT into more promo but GT didn’t play along. GT promoted The Way because she was involved, and there were those two selfies for The Nye from DT that felt like he posted.
DT sorted out an agent for GT with all the promo (including major PR at the BAFTAs) and AL did not even congratulate her “wife”.
And, and I hope it was on purpose because that’s the funniest shit AL has ever done - when GT posted her chocolate content, AL went on Twitter, found MS/DT photoshops, and retweeted it with “excellent content”. Ouch!
Let’s also note that AL even promoted BAFTAs when she got a seat from DT but now when he’s accomplishing other things but she doesn’t get anything out of it… Crickets.
So we agree this wives and family bullshit is over right.
AL keeps on trying with MS to prove they’re totally in love, but he’s giving nothing so it’s not working. She notes she’s alone, he makes a point to stay with fans every night or at the bar. I’d get the hint. This is on top of miserable selfies, not doing photos with her for Nye press night, and then liking a tweet from some “actress” chic after not liking anything from “fans” for a long time. Ai ai.
I think Michael has been done for a long time.
So there’s that.
Then we have GT and DT.
DT as usual is taking all jobs possible, perhaps to stay away from home, perhaps he just loves and needs to work. The rumour always was that he’d take anything to stay away from home. I don’t know. When GT posts videos, I can see that.
He seems to be on top right now. Which I’m super happy about. Perhaps his wife isn’t though.
She happily got snogged on the red carpet on his big day, and had articles about her on his big day too, she happily accepted him sorting out his agent for her, she also played along with the whole family thing etc when she needed an agent, now that she got what she wanted… Crickets.
Funny how it works with these ladies, eh?
We have him dragged to promote her family, put up like a puppet for a photo, and she writes a sweet post about the cousin. Before that, he’s told to do a dumbass video because her followers totally need to see it! He makes it clear he doesn’t want to do it, she has him do it anyway. Meh.
Next day, he wins a prestigious award.
Silence. For him. Because bestie got a sweet post for her birthday. DT? Nothing. When she finally posts it’s a repost and she tags the wrong awards. Then posts about being on a concert. Next day someone had to tell her she fucked up so she posts the same but takes the wrong tag off.
Still not a single word of affection. Or a joke she fucked up. You know, a fraction of what she gave her cousin, and used DT for, or what she did for her bestie. But no.
So, I don’t know. Is she jealous? She always kept him low, suddenly he’s gaining confidence thanks to MS, scoring great jobs, winning fantastic awards. She’s losing control.
Or are they fighting? Or is he already done?
I don’t know. But the fact that MS’s MOM posted before DT’s wife… and when GT eventually did she made a point to make it completely underwhelming… especially compared to what else she posted… well if she wanted us to notice it, she did.
I don’t know if DT not being there for the award has something to do with everything that’s been happening, I’m more likely to believe that he simply had work conflict.
It’s just… I see this image of a bloke who spent his whole career trying to sort something out for GT, when his big day happens he makes it about her and MS, and AL uses him too, and then when he accomplishes things…
Crickets. From all of them.
Well. Apart from mama Sheen.
It’s sad really. He deserves better.
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Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna
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Usual warning. This is not a review. It's just me needing to put what I'm feeling somewhere. I just finished watching so there's absolutely no critical thinking happening here.
TL;DR: WATCH THIS SHOW!!!
Well I finally finished all of Tsukutabe and to say my heart is full feels small somehow. My heart grew. I remember when I finished the second season of Kinou Nani Tabeta, I was so overwhelmed with emotions and honestly I was not expecting to be in that place again. I called it magic and I have to echo those same feelings here. Because this show it's magic. It's a gift that makes me feel thankful that I got to experience it. I really have a hard time writing about this because I'm feeling so many things so I'll try to split it in smaller bits so maybe it sounds a bit more coherent. No promises though.
Kasuga I have to start here because she's my favourite, in case it wasn't obvious by my choice of pfp. She's so cute. I fell in love with her almost immediately. I've talked about this before but to see a character eat the way she does on screen healed something in me. The way she looks at Nomoto made me melt multiple times and her smile completely shatters this cold heart of mine. The episodes around her family had me bawling [normally I would wish for her father to be run over or something, but that would only add misery to Kasuga's mother, so I just hope he dies first] but seeing her put herself first and release herself from those expectations was amazing. Her journey was incredible and it was great that she was able to open up to Nagumo and Nomoto. I have to congratulate Nishino Emi for her portrayal of Kasuga. Considering she's not an actor (she's a musician btw) and this is her only acting credit, I thought the way she embodied Kasuga was really good.
Nomoto I adore her. Her happiness was infectious and she made me smile so wide. Cooking for your loved ones is just such the most beautiful thing to me and she and Shiro are the standard and everyone else can take notes. She's more open than Kasuga so we have more of an insight to her and to watch her awakening was amazing. It reminded me a bit Sakuko [Koisenu Futari] in the beginning. Her facial expressions always gave her away and it was such a contrast to Kasuga's reserved demeanor.
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THEM The Yin and Yang. They are so different on the surface but the way they come together and create a space for each other is just so beautiful to see. They are learning from each other through these two seasons and growing together and navigating the realities of their relationship and what it all means and how it makes them feel. I just love the happiness in Nomoto's eyes whenever Saguka is eating her food and the happiness and little smiles in Kasuga's face whenever Nomoto got really excited by a vegetable or a finished dish. They are perfect and will live happily ever after. Period.
Nagumo This girl has my whole heart. I said this before in the notes but every time she was on my screen I just wanted to give her a hug. She's fragile but resilient and although she was a bit shy at first, the way she shared her story with Kasuga and quickly became the person she went to for advice was so good. And to see her getting help, finding relief in a word and hope in the future made me cry so much. And when she took that bite it made my heart grow that very second. And just as a aside, the fact that the show chose to have her eat while the others didn't notice and after they did, they still didn't make it a big deal made me ugly cry. Because that's the magic part. That when I feel that a show knows what it's doing with its characters. And the moment at the end in the job thing when she said she wanted to do something that allowed to talk to people had me clapping like a proud mama.
Chiharu I love her. I love that Nomoto had someone by her side from the beginning that she could confide in and that was supportive. And that when she "messed up", like with the wedding talk, she was given space to reflect and understand and give her friend the space she needed to talk about it. Cause it's okay to not be all woke - god, I hate this word - all the time. As long as people are ready to listen to each other and learn from one another. Also always happy for the screw marriage discourse.
Yako The ace rep had me clapping at first of course. It's so rare anywhere in media so it always adds points no matter what. So obviously... I love her. She's such an amazing supporter. She's so kind and open. Her relationship with Nomoto was wonderful but she and Naguma gave me some of my favourite moments ever. Because being supportive sometimes is just being present, is asking questions, is just listening to understand and not judge. And to want those around you to grow. That moment where she realized what the move meant for Nagumo and asked her to go for a walk was so good.
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THESE WOMEN. I love these women. All of them. How they come together for each other, and the kindness and understanding made me ugly cry on more than one occasion.
The Food This show really speaks to me in several ways and I know I spoke of this before but I keep coming back to food.
You eat too much or you don't eat enough. Or you don't eat it the right way. Or eat the right things. Food is just sustenance for some. Food is joy to others. Food is what makes some of us get up in the morning. Food is to eat alone or together. It means a lot of different things to different people. It's food. You eat yours and I eat mine. Can we just not pay so much attention to this? Now that I got that out. Japanese shows are the best at using food in their stories. And more often that not, it's a place of joy and healing. And the fact that this series showed that food can also be a source of trauma and something that makes you different, as well as a place where you can heal is so important to me. Because I can relate to both those things. The dining table has been a place where I felt wrong different but also a place where I found so much joy.
The Magic Much like Kinou Nani Tabeta this show is full of magic. It was made by people that needed to make it, to talk about things that mattered, from a place of empathy and love. I feel like I was meant to watch this show. The universe conspired to put it in front of me. I understand this sounds super corny, and honestly if anyone else said this words to me I would be rolling my eyes way back into my skull, so I get it. But it feels cosmic somehow. Also fun fact that helps the magic of it all. One of the characters and I share a last name. Me, little portuguese me, and a japanese character from this show. Can you imagine the odds? And no, I have no connection to Japan whatsoever, and my last name isn't even a very common one in either country. So really it has to be magic, right? Also, I have a small confession. GL's were never my favourite. I'm enjoying 23.5 a lot for example but I'm never in a rush to watch them. I have a bias against them that I never really examined, except that I find that I'm much more critical of them so I enjoyed them less. But this show, these women, just moved the needle a bit. There are important conversations here, not just from a queer standpoint but from a female perspective that really resonated with me, so I might need to readjust some things. Anyway, I have a lot of feelings but this is already long. I'll be thinking about this show a lot more, and there will be giffing for sure so I won't leave these characters any time soon. Also, did I mention?, I LOVE Kasuga. SHE IS EVERYTHING TO ME and one of my favourite characters of all time.
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I already talked about the kindness in this show but I need to say it again. It's all about the kindness. These women. They are all so open and kind and because of that they are all better people and happier people. Maybe we can learn from them. If only we could be a little more kind to each other.
If you've made it to the end, thanks for reading💜. [A huge thanks to @furritsubs for giving us the opportunity to enjoy this masterpiece.]
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buttermynoods · 1 day
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Gale x Named Tav (Fem)
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Summary: As Feyre and her companions talk amongst themselves one night, she grows uncomfortable from the cold until the rizzard 😏 (Mr. Dekarios Himself) comes to her aid without needing to be asked
Warnings: Some kissing, nothing too crazy tbh
It was good, Feyre knew, to be bonding with each other. It meant that when the inevitable day comes that one of them is on the brink of death, the other are inclined to help, want to help. However, she couldn't help but want to bring the night to an end as the night grew later and the air got crisper.
This particular night, it was freezing. Not only were the temperatures quite chilly, but the wind made it seem much worse. The others had on extra layers, except for Karlach of course, who sat next to her, completely unaffected by the cold. Feyre, however, didn't have such luxury. She sat on her log shivering, her arms wrapped around herself. And she was quite miserable. It's not that she wasn't enjoying herself, but it was hard to keep good conversation when the only thing you could think about was warmth. The fire did help, but she could only get so close to it before she was in it. She slowly scooted herself closer to Karlach so that her left side would feel Karlachs warmth, hoping she wouldn't notice.
"Hey soldier, you cold?" Karlach did in fact notice.
"A little. Nothing I can't handle." Feyre admits, smiling cheesily.
Conversations continue and as they do, the night grows colder. The sun is finally down and the moon offers no warmth in its absence, of course. Feyre sits uncomfortably so, but still she remains, wanting to stay and socialize. She's mid conversation with Astarion, talking about her mother, when suddenly she feels this strange sensation travel up her body, starting at her toes. Not only is it strange, but it's also so very warm. Feyre stops talking immediately and glances around frantically, trying to see if anyone else is experiencing what she is. The others don't seem to be effected, and she ignores Astarion as he askes her if she's alright. Whatever it was, it didn't feel menacing. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Like a warm hug, or the sun beating down on skin after rain. As strange as the sudden change in temperature was, she didn't want it to stop, so she stopped looking for an answer.
That was until her eyes landed on Gale's, who had a quite a mischevious look plastered on his face. Curious. Her brows furrow as his own raise slightly and a smirk plays at his lips. She cocks her head ever so slightly and narrows her eyes at him, scanning him for any tell tale sign of his shenanigans. That's when her eyes found his hands, particularly his left one, which was glowing with an aura. The very same one as the one she was engulfed in.
As it dawns on her what's happening, her frown turns into a slow smile and she silently thanks him from across the campfire. He nods, then returns to his conversation with Wyll. He cast warmth on her not only because she needed it, but also because he knew it would earn her affection, and that's all he ever seemed to want these days.
Later that night, as the fire died down and most of the companions have turned in for the night, Feyre finds herself alone. Well, alone with Gale. He's still sitting in the same spot he was earlier, except this time Feyre has his full rapt attention, considering there is nobody else to talk to.
Feyre meets his eyes, "Thank you." She says quietly, still basking in the warmth that is his magic embrace.
"Oh, it's nothing. Couldn't have you uncomfortable under my watchful eyes." He teases, eyes shining.
"Have you always been able to do that?" She asks curiously.
"Yes." Gale nods.
"Well then why didn't you do it sooner?" Feyre teases, but also wanted to know.
"You never asked. I would've been more than happy to oblige if you weren't so stubborn to ask for help when you need it." Gale tsks, shaking his head.
As annoying as his words were, they were true. She didn't ask for help when she needed it. A bad habit that needed breaking.
"Well then." She says, standing from her spot and walking over to him, stopping when she her feet stood right between his own, standing in between his legs.
Feeling brave, she leans down so her lips are right by his ear, nearly grazing the soft skin there,
"Next time, I guess I'll ask." She whispers. Before pulling away, she nips at his lobe gently. A small groan escapes his lips and his hands immediately find her waist, gripping at the plush skin there. "Thank you, again."
"You could uhm..." He breaths nervously, "Thank me in other ways, you know."
Feyre's eyes widen at his bold words and she feels herself smirk before swinging her legs one by one over his lap on either side of his hips, knees rested on the log beneath him. It was a risky move, yes, but one he seemed to welcome almost instantaneously. His grip on her hips tightened and he let's out the quietest of moans, it would have gone unnoticed if it weren't for how close she was to him.
"I was only flirting, I don't want you to feel like you have to-" Gale starts, his cheeks bright red. Feyre quickly puts a finger to his lips and shakes her head,
"I take pride in how grateful I am for everything given to me. Let me show you." She says smoothly, leaning her head down and trailing small kisses on his neck, starting at his collarbone and making her way up to his jaw.
She was so slow, so gentle, it was driving Gale mad. He had to fight himself not to take her right then and there.
"Feyre, please-" He begged, his breath shakey. Begged for what? For her to stop? To keep going? He didn't know. All his thoughts were clouded at this point, completely consumed by her presence.
She pulled away from where her face was buried in his neck and met his brown eyes with her blue ones.
"Yes?" She batted her lashes teasingly.
That simple act was his breaking point. Before he could even think about what he was doing, his lips were on hers, taking the control that Feyre carried mere moments ago. She gasps slightly against his lips but doesn't pull away.
"You looked so beautiful tonight," He mumbles between kisses, "So tempting in that pretty tunic that hugs your breasts so perfectly."
"If you don't stop talking, I might take your clothes off, and I believe that's something that should wait for when we have more privacy." She breaks the kiss and meets his lustful eyes.
He stares at her for what feels like hours before finally speaking,
"Well then, I guess it's a good thing I have so much self-discipline." He says coyly and gives her one last peck before patting her thigh, a signal to get up. She listens, and immediately misses the feeling of him between her legs.
"I better get some sleep." Feyre mumbles awkwardly, suddenly feeling very shy.
"Of course. Try not to dream of me," He winks, "Oh and please, next time you find yourself particularly colder or hotter than you would like to be, let me know. I'll make sure to remedy whatever you need." He smiles gently.
Feyre can feel the blush on her cheeks and nods,
"Goodnight, Gale." She smiles.
"Goodnight."
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wackybuddiemewbs · 13 hours
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Still not done. For reasons. Wacky brian go brrrrr. Happy new season, peeps!
This Future We Choose
Part 3/???
Part 1 • Part 2
Buck knew this was going to bite him in the ass eventually. He just had hoped it would be a while longer until he’d have to face the consequences for his actions. He will blame his stupidly bruised ribs for it, but of course his research material had to slide out of his folder and sail to the ground, just as he was about to show his sister the seating table he’d prepared for the wedding.
And of course, Maddie instantly recognized what those papers were, picked them up before he could bend down himself, and gave him that look.
While everyone knows by now that him and Natalia are no longer a thing, this was the thing he’d meant to keep between himself and Eddie a while longer. But fortune continues to be anywhere but on his side.
So his time is up, as his sister’s stern look at him will tell him with utmost surety.
“What are these?” Maddie asks.
“Research?” Buck answers, tight-lipped.
“Why are you researching that?”
“Coz I wanted to?”
Maddie rolls her eyes at him. “Evan.”
“Well, what do you think?” he grumbles.
“So you… seriously consider adoption? Or fostering a child?” she asks, her tone shifting to something more serious and thus something Buck knows he will find impossible to escape from.
Buck can feel his jaw tensing up. “That’s what started it, yeah.”
It started out feeling great, actually. Buck felt the usual excitement he has bubbling up in his stomach when he finds a new field of interest and learns all about it. It felt like it was all coming together, like he was coming back together, like he was heading in all the right directions at long last.
But it doesn’t matter how you start the journey, it matters how you end it.
And Buck got the sinking feeling a while ago that this journey ended before it ever truly began.
“I had… no clue, to be honest. That this is something you were considering now. I mean, I always knew you wanted kids, but… this is much more concrete than just a general wish to want children further down the road,” Maddie mutters pensively, her eyes drifting back to the brochures.
Buck rolls his shoulders. “Well, I guess actually dying sheds some light on how short life is.”
Maddie shoots him a stern look yet again, the kind of look that makes him cringe the same way it did when he was still a kid. Buck knows he shouldn’t be joking about it as much as he still does, especially with Maddie present. But sometimes, he can’t help himself. Not because he thinks death is funny, that his death was. But, as of late, he starts to think that his death was indeed some kind of cosmic joke at his expenses.
So why shouldn’t I laugh it up, at least?
“A lot’s happened this year that made me look at what I really want in life,” Buck chooses to say instead. “And… and one thing I can say for sure is that I want to become a father.”
Maddie touches his forearm lightly. “That’s great. It really is. And I’m not… I’m just surprised, that’s all.”
“I get that. I was surprised, too,” Buck replies.
“But… why would you keep this from us, from me? This is great news!”
Buck makes a face. “Because it’s weird?”
Because it’s futile?
“You wanting kids is not weird at all. Honestly, I’m still surprised you don’t have one already. You always loved kids, so much. And you’re great with them. I mean, just look at Jee doting on you. And you sure came around a lot, so I wondered that you didn’t…,” Maddie says, her voice trailing off.
Buck nudges her lightly. “Hey, I got the talk early on in my life. And I was taught very emphatically to always use protection, always.”
“Don’t remind me,” she grunts. “Because I was the one who had to give the talk to you.”
“I appreciated the diagrams and the flash cards. Has me very sure you’re gonna put out the greatest PowerPoint presentation ever for Jee, once it’s time to talk about the birds and the bees,” Buck laughs.
“So, there’s nothing weird at all about you wanting kids. I find it weird that you’ve been keeping this to yourself for so long, though. I mean, judging by the dates on some of the printouts, you’ve been doing research for a few weeks, at least,” Maddie says, gesturing at the apparent evidence of his own failures.
“Well, once it dawned on me that this is what I wanted, I guess I just wanted to get a better understanding of what’s involved in the process before announcing my intentions,” Buck explains. Which is true enough. He figured that research would make it less scary, less daunting. While Buck is considered to be somewhat the “daredevil” on the job, he can’t say the same is true when it comes to those private matters. That’s why he actually went through the hassle to print things out, to have physical proof, to make this just a bit more real.
But in the end, none of it worked.
In the end, it’s all just fantasy and make-believe.
“But why not talk to me?” He can hear the pain there, which Buck probably should have anticipated.
“I wasn’t trying to keep this from you,” he tells her in all earnest. Sure, Buck didn’t want to talk about it, but he didn’t want to leave Maddie out of the picture in particular.
I just wanted to have something to show for it. And look at me now, winding up empty-handed yet again.
“But you did not want to tell me, even though you’re sure that this is what you want,” she argues. “I just want to understand why.”
“I… I don’t know. I felt like I needed more information before saying anything, to anyone. I just started out with the premise that I wanted to be a father, really. But how? That was a big question mark for me. It still is. So I figured that I’d want to know what to announce at least, like… I wanna foster, I wanna adopt…”
She shakes her head slowly. “That’s not why you wouldn’t say anything, though.”
And of course she is right, of course Maddie sees through it. She’s been trained at reading him since they were children. Maddie raised him, so she sees the things that Buck is always busy to hide. And while it still saddens him that his big sister had to shoulder that responsibility, Buck knows that she will keep watching out for him the same way he looks out for her.
Us against the rest of the world, right?
“If you know the answer already, then why do you keep asking?” Buck doesn’t meet her gaze, he can’t.
“Because I’d rather hear it from you,” Maddie answers.
He sighs. “Honestly? I feel like it’s a good thing I didn’t announce anything, because I feel like this isn’t going anywhere.”
Maddie blinks at him. “So you don’t want to… be a father anymore?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Then why doesn’t it go anywhere?” She frowns.
Buck did, too, frown a lot, at himself. He frowned at the reflection in the bathroom mirror, his faint outline on the computer screen. He frowned at his own thoughts, and his own feelings. Because they didn’t make sense anymore. Whatever he thought he had figured out about himself, it did not fit together. Like he found some puzzle pieces, but they come from different sets.
“Because the more I look at those brochures and papers, the more I realize that this isn’t… that’s not me,” Buck admits.
“Well, there’s other options.”
“I know.”
He researched, he looked, he tried to find something different. Only to come back to the same spot over and over again. To be stuck, all over again.
Because fortune is not my friend. Because I seemingly have to keep living in waiting mode.
“But?”
“But I don’t want any of those options,” Buck says.
“So you want to be a father… but you don’t want to go for any of the options that’d make you a father?” Maddie asks, looking rightfully confused.
And if you put it like that, it really makes absolutely no sense at all. Which seems oddly fitting. Because Buck has a tendency to want the things he knows for a fact he can’t have. His parents’ love, for who he is, and not just for who he can be to other people. The feeling of being enough, of no longer needing any software updates. A world where he’s enough to protect the people he loves from all harm there is.
And someone to love me anyway.
“I didn’t pretend like this was making any sense, so I won’t start now,” Buck grumbles. He fixes his gaze on Maddie, looking at her with pleading eyes. “Can we just pretend like this never happened?”
He is really good at that, for better or worse.
“No,” is the definitive answer from his big sister, which he knew would come.
“Pretty please with sprinkles on top?” he bargains anyway.
“Evan.”
Buck knows that when Maddie uses that tone of voice when saying his name, there is really no escape anymore. Because Maddie is one of the few people who can actually speak to Evan. The vulnerable kid who only ever cried wolf to be loved by the people who refused to see him. The kid that was willing to bleed out for just one concerned look from his mother and father.
Buck keeps Evan deep inside his chest, for precisely that reason. Because he is that fragile, that broken, inside and out. Buck is stronger than that. He has grown. He has matured. He built up enough scar tissue and callouses. His bones broke often enough, and grew together strong, so he can catch himself if he falls. And he found other people to look at him a different way, to help him back to his feet.
Perhaps foolishly, Buck still tries to protect Evan as much as he can from the outside world. Because Evan doesn’t know how to seem fine. Evan only knows how to get hurt to be seen. Evan knows how to bleed, but not how to stop the bleeding. Buck knows how to become good at bearing the pain without anyone seeing. So not to become a burden.
But he knows he can’t fool Maddie. Because she knows Evan as well as Buck. She loves them both. And she will always manage to lure Evan out of the box deep inside Buck’s chest, the way she’s always managed since they were kids. But once he is outside, Buck knows he can’t shield him, and he can’t keep him from showing all the places he aches that’d Maddie mean to kiss better.
“You want to be a father, but you don’t want to go with any of the options that might make that wish come true,” Maddie tells him. “And you can’t even look me in the eye, saying it. Why?”
Buck’s eyes drift back to the brochures and printouts still on the floor, the ones in her hand, and he can feel his chest tighten to the point that it gets hard to breathe. And it’s not because of the bruised ribs. It’s because Evan long since crawled his way out, begging to be loved anyway. And Buck can’t tell him to go back and keep waiting.
Because the time won’t come.
Because the more he looks at those brochures, the more he is reminded of the reason why he can’t get there after all. Why his hopes are yet again in vain.
“Because the more research I do, the more I realize that I don’t want any of that. Not like this, at least,” he admits at last.
It’s no use anyway.
And he can bear that pain. He will have to, for Evan and himself.
“I… still don’t understand what you mean by that,” Maddie answers faintly.
“I don’t either! I thought I finally figured it out. The great epiphany! That I wanna be a father, more than anything. And that’s still true. It’s so damn true it hurts. I want to be a father, so bad. I want a child that’s mine and that I don’t have to give to anyone else.”
Tears sting in Buck’s eyes, though that’s just about the smallest pain he feels. Even his stupid ribs don’t hurt as much as this. And it just isn’t fair. To finally know what you want, only to realize that you can’t have that. Because being aimless is one thing, but knowing you won’t ever come to the shores you call home? That’s damn well a curse.
Maddie moves into his line of vision. She places a warm hand on his back, extends her other hand to squeeze his forearm.
“Hey, hey. It’s alright,” she soothes.
“It’s actually not.”
It hasn’t been in a long time, but the fool he is, he failed to see it. Because he wanted to seem fine, because he wanted to be fine again. For everyone else and himself. So Evan would remain where he put him, protected, so Buck could get back to his feet and find a way to move forward again. To maybe find a life where Evan could come out and not bleed out from a lack of love.
“Why not? I can only repeat it, there’s plenty of options to fulfill your dream,” Maddie tries to reassure him.
“There really isn’t. And that’s what makes this so damn stupid.” Tears now roll freely down his cheeks. Buck wipes at them angrily, relishes the small burn that comes with rubbing skin against skin.
“Why?”
“Because I know I want to be a father, but I… I want to be a father to a child I know I can’t be a father to,” Buck whimpers, almost choking on those truths that should have no business burning so much down his throat.
“You mean Connor’s and Kameron’s…,” Maddie mutters, but Buck interjects rather harshly, “No.”
Oh, and how he wished that was true. Because that would be easy. Anyone would understand, everyone assumes anyway. Buck wished it was that easy, but this situation only made him realize what he wanted, and just like he had to give over that child, he had to realize that he couldn’t ever get to where he wants to be.
“What child, then, if not their son?”
“Eddie’s son. Christopher.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose.
Biggest fuckin’ joke of my life.
“Christopher.”
“Yeah,” Buck croaks.
Christopher, always Christopher. In every brochure, every stock image, he saw that little guy with his dorky smile and glasses, heard his giggling, felt the way only that little guy could hug him. The boy he thought he had to give up on, knows he has to learn to let go, to be what he wants to be: A father.
Buck swallows thickly. “You know, I’ve tried to put some distance between us, lately. Between Eddie, Chris, and I. To, to figure this father thing out. Because I felt like I was… like I was using them, to have the second-best thing to being a father. But I… I miss them so damn much.”
Maddie keeps rubbing circles on his back, just as she’d done when they were both still kids and he could not be consoled after their parents looked right through him yet again.
“I… I keep seeing Christopher every time I turn the page in one of those stupid brochures. I don’t just want to have a kid that’s mine. I want that one specific kid to be mine. Even though I know he ain’t, even though I know he won’t ever be,” Buck cries, no longer able to hold it in, to contain it.
The love he can’t express, he pours it right out, like bad blood, but it just keeps on coming and coming and coming.
He might be what Eddie would want for his son, should something happen to him, but Buck isn’t that outside that scenario. So long there’s Eddie, and God knows he will make sure of it, he won’t be that for Christopher. He can’t be that for Christopher.
In the end, always the backup plan, isn’t it?
“Christopher loves you,” Maddie argues.
“But not as his dad, never as that. Because I’m not his father. Even in the event that something should happen to Eddie, and I’d take care of him… he wouldn’t be mine, not really. Inside my heart, yes, but… never outside it.”
Bobby once told Chimney that having a child is like having a heart outside of yourself. But Buck know he can’t have that, that he won’t ever get there. He can only treasure that child inside his heart, so no one can see just how much he loves that kid. Because the love he feels for him, he knows he is not entitled to.
I won’t ever be enough to them to be entitled to it. Because that isn’t my place. Not really. More than a guest, but only ever temporary. Never forever.
“Eddie would let me, that’s not the thing. But… but I can’t go on pretending, in my heart, that… that we are a family, in that sense,” Buck whimpers.
“Eddie considers you family.”
“Yeah, but not in the way I’d want him to consider me.”
Which is the icing on top of that shit sundae.
“What?”
“Forget it,” Buck replies quickly.
Because he doesn’t know how much more he can take. Because everything hurts, hurts more than his stupid ribs, more than his stinging eyes, or his inflamed cheeks. And Buck doesn’t want any more pain. He doesn’t want any more pain for Evan who is outside his little box right now, for that part of him to come to the realization that there is yet another thing they failed at.
“No, tell me, please,” Maddie begs. “I want to help.”
“I just know that this is nothing you can help me with,” Buck whispers. “Even though you’re my big sister and I grew up thinking you’re my personal superhero. But this… you can’t fix. And I think I can’t either.”
Maddie takes a deep breath, considers his words, then searches his eyes again. “Alright, then maybe I can’t fix this. But I… I know for a fact that not talking about things that hurt us, scare us, terrify us… those darkest spots in our lives… that’s even worse. And I won’t have my little brother repeat the mistakes I’ve made.”
“You didn’t…”
“It doesn’t matter,” she interjects sternly. “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t want you to keep pretending like all is fine. Like you have to keep something from me, or anyone else. You can always tell me these things. Always. Even if you may actually want to say them to someone else, you can always say them to me first. I don’t pretend to have the answers, but I can listen. And I always will, Evan. But I need to hear it from you.”
Buck looks at his sister for a long moment. He thinks about how far she’s come, how much she’s overcome. And how glad he is that she finally gets some of the pay off for the years of sacrifice. In the end, Maddie is still his personal superhero, not because she is invincible, but because she wears her scars and comes out stronger every time. Because like him, she never gives up, or even if she almost did, she fought her way back.
He takes a deep breath, then another. Maddie is right, he should say those things to someone else. But the person he’d normally go to for this? He can’t say. Buck screws his eyes shut, trying to forget all that, if only for a moment.
“Losing something can sure make you realize how much you loved it, even if you knew you loved it all along. I remember reading that, when I was still recuperating after the lightning strike.”
Buck read a lot, while at the hospital. Not just self-help books. When he stumbled over that quote, he had some sense of how that rang true for him. He just couldn’t put his finger on it, not really. Then his life took one sharp turn after the other, with Kameron and Connor and the baby, with Natalia.
The book fell back into his hands when she got the last of her things. And when he flipped to that page, it felt like lighting was striking through him again. Because he was right back in his coma dream, and it was glaring at him, laughing at him.
Who wasn’t there? Who was the one person who’s so close to you you didn’t see? Who, hm?
“I’m not following,” Maddie mutters, blinking at him.
“The more distance I put myself between myself and Eddie and Christopher, the more I realized just how alone I feel when I don’t have them near me,” Buck says.
“As I said, they love you, too.”
“And I love them, God, I love them. But I can’t love them like I wanna love them. And that fuckin’ hurts.”
Buck loved before. He knows what heartbreak feels like. But he never loved like this, and at some point, he wished he never found out that he could love like this. Because it’s a kind of love that burns even worse than the one he still feels for his parents. Even though they can’t love him back. Even though they made him walk through fire every day of his life. Because it’s the kind of fire he will keep walking into, against better judgment. Because he could learn to live without his parents, but he can’t learn to be without them.
“I can’t love Christopher like a father. And I can’t love Eddie like a partner. I can’t love them as my family I go home to every single night. I can’t love them like I do, and it sucks, and it hurts, and I just want it to stop.”
“P, partner?” Maddie stammers, still taking that in.
“Yeah, that’s about the face I made when it dawned on me,” Buck huffs bitterly. “I mean, in true Buck fashion, I kept missing all the signs. It’s always been there, and I… not even all of those epiphanies I feel I had in my coma dream prepared me for that one. Eddie wasn’t in it, in that dream, not really. Though that’s probably the great message, and I waltzed right past it.”
That his heart wasn’t in it, literally. That his heart wasn’t in that supposedly perfect life. The man who let him into his own, wasn’t there. The man who’d given his heart over to him, telling him that he is not expendable. The world that was without Eddie was the one without Christopher. And that world may have had his parents loving him in it, may have had Daniel alive, but it didn’t have them. And how can such a world ever be any good?
Buck has been wrecking his brain about it. Ever since he broke up with Natalia, he felt like he was finally gaining perspective. Only for the light to switch and put Eddie and Christopher in the spotlight. At first, he liked to think that they were simply his measure to go by. Because Buck wants to be a dad like Eddie, loving, caring, kind. And he wants a kid just like Christopher. So that seemed straightforward enough. Until it became even more twisted. Because the harder he looked, the more he realized they weren’t just the model Buck was going by, they were it. Both of them. Not just Christopher. But Eddie.
Always Eddie.
Buck can’t say he thought about Eddie as someone he wanted to be with, romantically. Sure, an attractive guy, always. Someone Buck could unashamedly say he learned to love dearly. But he can’t say he longed for him the way he is doing it now. Or rather, he now sees all of those signs he missed, all the chances he missed. The things he didn’t see, because he looked at Eddie through the lens of friendship, of what it was, and not what it could be. Because Buck didn’t even dare to think outside that box. Despite his bravado, he was not brave enough. He liked not being a guest in Eddie’s house. And he was fine with that, just that.
I never thought I could be more than that.
But Buck grew, and he’s coming to terms with it that he gets to want more, be more. He took a step back and saw more than he used to. But once you start to think outside the box, you can’t go back to its confined space. You can’t go back to only just. Once you open your heart to wanting more, it won’t be satisfied with the lesser.
How can I be enough, if I am not enough to have them?
So now, he’s left with longing and missing again. He wants the things he can’t have. And Buck won’t jeopardize the happiness either Eddie or Christopher or Marisol have found together. He won’t be that person. He can’t sink that low. Even if that means he is back to greedily stuffing the crumbs of life with Eddie and Christopher into his mouth, like a guy who’s been left out in the desert for weeks without a single thing to eat.
So maybe he’s good enough for Eddie and Christopher, to be a part of their family. But he won’t be that part of the family. Maybe Marisol will fill that seat. Maybe it’s going to be someone who’s not even in Eddie’s life yet. But no matter what, this person won’t be him.
So what is he even doing, researching ways to have a child, to be a father? How could it be fair to that child? When, in the back of his head, he’d always wind a string around the mere image of Eddie and Christopher as part of the family he might build?
“I’m still wrapping my head around you being into guys. But then again, I never tried too hard to look at that as your sister,” Maddie says, shaking her head wide-eyed.
“I never dated guys, I just got down dirty with them.” Buck shrugs.
He never made it a secret, but he didn’t make it explicit either.
Except for when I told them about my track record in dating yoga instructors. Because those definitely weren’t all ladies…
Buck never had a serious relationship with guys. He just fooled around with them. And especially in the beginning, it may well be that he liked things a bit too rough. Which should show that he belonged in therapy since a young age, because no, that was surely not healthy at all.
“Yeah, no, I don’t need to know that. At all. Ever.” Maddie screws her eyes shut.
“I figured.”
Buck never cared for a label to put on that, he still doesn’t. Had anyone asked him back in the day, he would have said that he’s simply not picky. Today he can safely say that he is extremely picky, to the point that he reduced his entire happiness to two people, to the point that he can’t look at anyone else the way he looks at Eddie these days.
“Alright, I’m… I’m sorry, that caught me off-guard a bit. But… but in all seriousness now, yes?” Maddie goes on to say.
He blinks at her. “Yeah?”
“There’s nothing wrong with realizing that you love people, or that you’ve fallen in love with someone, even if it’s your best friend,” she tells him.
“But there’s something wrong with wanting to say it, to make them love you back in kind, when you know you really shouldn’t,” Buck argues. “Even if it’s your best friend.”
Or precisely because he is.
“We all just want to be loved in the end. And I know for a fact that you love big. But it’s not wrong to want to be loved back in kind,” Maddie points out.
“It’s wrong to want that, knowing where Eddie stands in life right now. Knowing…” He doesn’t have to finish for Maddie to understand where he is going with this.
“People break up, you know,” she offers, which only ever has him snort. “Like I’m going to hinge my hopes on him breaking up with Marisol.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“The problem is that Eddie loves me, but only as a friend. And even if he broke up with Marisol tomorrow… he won’t ever look at me any other way than that. And I can’t unsee what I’ve seen. I can’t look at him any other way than… this. And… and I feel like I’m losing them because of that. Because if I keep getting too close, I will… I will fuck it up, I know I will. Because I wear my emotions on my sleeve and I… this will come out eventually. And I will make a mess of everything. And I… I can’t do that.”
Fresh tears well up in his eyes.
Sure, he wants more. Sure, he wants to feel like he is enough. He tries to get there. But he knows he can’t have Eddie and Christopher, no matter how hard he tries. Not like this, at least. Because this is not about his worth or lack thereof. It’s just now how they see him. But what he can afford even less than this pain is the thought to lose the ways he has them.
He’d rather be less to them than nothing at all.
“But I also can’t keep away from them,” he continues, almost choking on the words. “I just… I don’t know what to do. I just know it hurts, no matter what I do. And I want it to stop, but it just doesn’t.”
Maddie pulls him into a hug, trying to cover up as much of him as she can, despite their difference in size. Buck sinks against her, tries to soak up her warmth to cast out the cold dread of being back where he began, only to remain stuck there.
Because there is no longer a world for him he can escape to, where he isn’t in love with Eddie, where he doesn’t want Christopher to be his son, where he doesn’t want them to be his family. It vanished, slipped through his fingertips.
“Oh, Evan.”
Buck used to think that Maddie’s hugs would always heal him. He still wants to believe that, but he can’t trust it. Because Evan is out there, and he looks back at him, begging to know why they can’t be loved anyway.
And Buck has no answer to that.
And he fears he never will.
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madebyrolo · 1 day
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Beach date
Rafe Cameron x Reader
She/her
one shot / fluff
summary: “VICTOR, YOU ACTUALLY DID THIS!?” Type fic.
┗ •◦இ•◦ ┛
I was sitting on my bed scrolling through TikTok when Rafe texted me.
“Be ready I’m picking you up at 6.”
“And for what can I ask?” I responded
“It’s a surprise peach”
Rafe came up with that nickname when I was over one day and I accidentally drank the rest of his peach juice.
“Okay okay see you then :)”
With the time being 5:38, I get up and put on denim skirt and white halter top with little blue flowers on it. I grab my Uggs cause they’re cute and comfy and I put my vanilla perfume. I get my purse and make sure my lip gloss is in it and soon I get the text that my bae has arrived. I love calling Rafe bae cause he hates it.
“Mom I’ll be back, I’m going out with rafe!” I call out from the stairs.
“Okay honey, be home before 10 please!” She calls out from her office.
She absolutely loves Rafe and luckily she trust me and him enough to let me out without asking anything. And with her having my location on 24/7
I shut the door behind me and I walk to the black truck in my driveway. I see Rafe standing right by the passenger door with his dopey smile plastered across his face.
“Hey dream boat” I say walking up to him placing a small kiss on his lips.
“Hey hey? That wasn’t a kiss come one give daddy a real one.” Rafe said earning a laugh from me before pulling me in by the waist completely smashing his lips on mine.
“That was sweet but you’re eating me Rafe.” I joke with him.
“Oh so with that hurtful joke, I don’t think you deserve these.” He said grabbing a bouquet from inside the car.
“Rafe, you didn’t oh my god they’re beautiful!” I saw grabbing them from him and smelling them.
It was a mix of blue hydrangeas with lilies and mums with the perfect amount of greenery . They smelt amazing, like peace which I loved about flowers.
“Blue like my eyes so you think about me every time you look at them.” He somewhat joked.
“I always do Rafe.” I say before planting a small cute long kiss on him.
“Now come on, I’m dying to know what you’ve planned.” I say adjusting the collar of his white dress shirt.
“Okay peach get in.” he said opening the door and letting me in.
After a 15 minutes drive with a quick pit stop for a pizza at dominos, we finally made it. We stopped by the beach putting the car in park and once again opening the door for me.
“What are we doing at the beach? I didn’t bring a suit.” I say while he grabs my hand leading up to the sand.
“We’re not gonna for a swim.” he said.
“You should’ve mentioned the beach, I wouldn’t have picked these Uggs Rafe.” I tell him.
“You know Uggs were actually meant for the beach? They were for surfers” he explains.
“Do I look like a surfer?” I complain.
“Hey I got you to stand in the board once!” He nudged me
After a short walk we are greeted with a blanket that had a basket with lemonade and other goodies. There was 2 easels and some paint supplies along with more flowers.
“Happy date night!” Rafe said as let put down the pizza.
“Rafe this is so cute!” I say as I sit down in the blanket and look at everything he got.
“I did this all myself, thought we deserved a nice cute date to end off the summer.” Rafe said sitting next to me.
“Rafe this is perfect. Thank you.” I said hugging him.
“I got us some paints so we can do a little couples art maybe and some extra canvas for fun but mainly cause I know I’ll mess up.” He joked bringing out all the colors.
“You’re actually the best boyfriend ever Rafe.”
“I know I know. You can pay he back later.” he said with a wink as you nudge him.
“Okay give me a plate I want pizza.”
After your small dinner and some laughs shared with Rafe you finally get to the painting.
“Okay so we can do thumb prints, handprints, kisses, little things that represent us,” Rafe listed ideas as he scroll through Pinterest.
“Let’s do a handprints, something easy and then maybe we can cover it in sand to reminds of us this little beach date.” You offered
“Yeah I like that” he kissed your nose.
“Alright so many kisses today I think you just did this to get some.”
“No no I actually did this for us, but that’s just a perk” Rafe gave another kiss but on your neck and started going down.
“Okay okay! Let’s get to painting!” You giggled due to the friction of his warm lips on your skin.
As you guys finally decided on a paint color which took absolutely forever because Rafe wanted to do blue to match his eyes (once again) but you wanted a sage green because it was nice and calming which was a perfect way to describe this date. Certainly not this relationship yk how Rafe is.
“Okay your hand first cause it’s giant” you as you painted his hand a dark green.
“Hey you love these hands, especially these finger-”
“OKAY. So place it straight don’t make it crooked.” You guide his onto the canvas
“I can do it myself I’m a big boy okay y/n” he said placing his own hand down.
“Okay leave it there for a couple of seconds to get a good print.” You order.
You grab a lighter green to match his and paint your hand. The ticklish feelings and smell remind you of elementary, and the one time Jayj ate paint (not as a dare.)
“Oh that’s a cute color” Rafe said as you put the paint back.
“Okay you can take your hand off now. Longer you keep it, it’s probably gonna dry on there.” You joked.
“Don’t make it crooked.” He said as he grabbed your hand placing it down on the canvas on top if his.
After a couple of seconds you take it off and see the perfect imprints of you and Rafe.
“Aww it’s so cute!” You commented
“Oh now we have to make another, I’m gonna want one too.” He said admiring your art work.
“Here you go.” he said handing you a cup of sand
You sprinkle the sand ontop of the paint making sure to put enough then shaking the rest off.
“Okay now while this drys I wanna paint another.” you say grabbing another canvas.
You decide to paint a turtle on the beach. Turtles are your second animal cause they’re just so darn cute. As you paint, Rafe also decides to paint whatever he is. He has an assortment of colors and he’s just in his own world. As you watch him you can’t help but notice how his tounge pokes the inside of this cheek as he concentrates.
After 20 minutes, you finally have finished yours projects.
“Okay on, one…two…three!” You count down and flip your canvas.
“Oh thanks cute!” Rafe says and you stare as his… maybe pizza?
“Nice…I don’t even know. Rafe what is that?” You say confused.
“It’s a boat!” He says excited.
“Look it’s me and you!” He points to small blobs
“Oh I thought those were olives…”
“Y/n…” he says with a pout.
“Oh come on it’s cute!!!” You say trying to make him feel better.
“Maybe you should just keep to gallery walks instead of making the art…” you pat his shoulder as you both stare as his “boat”
“Your turtles are so good but look at my boat.”
“Rafe calm down it’s fine beside you can always buy classes.”
“But you’re a natural! It’s unfair.”
“Rafe quit it, besides you’re better at other things than me!” You try to cheer him up.
“Like what?”
“Golf”
“Wow lousy golf. Topper is the king let’s face it.”
“Whatever who cares he got cheated on.” You managed to crack a smile from him.
“Beside, you’re an absolutely an amazing boyfriend. My boyfriend.” He turns to look at you.
“Look at this amazing date you planed. And set up all by yourself too. Gotta give yourself props.” You give him a hug.
“Yeah I’m a pretty good man..” he said playfully rolling his eyes.
“My man.”
You guys share another slow and passionate kiss.
“Come on let’s clean this up. You can spend the night at mine.” You offer as you began to throw things into the basket.
“Okay good, I already told my dad I was.” He said as he grabbed the trash and threw it in a bag.
As you guys drive home you play your oldies playlists. You singing along while Rafe learns new songs.
Soon you guys make it to your house. Rafe parks the car and you guys make your way to the front door with him holding the insane amount of followers.
“Wait we never made my painting” Rafe stopped in his tracks.
“Here you can have the hands, I’ll take your pizza boat.” You say handing him his.
“Guess we have to have another date night to make another !! Ugh!” You said sarcastically.
“What a bore.” Rafe plays along.
You guys reach upstairs. Taking a joint shower because Rafe kept insisting on taking one first but you were too tired to wait. You both got the amazing date night, and hot and steamy sex.
┗ •◦இ•◦ ┛
Came out of hibernation and finally wrote 😩
Sorry for any typos I got too lazy.
Love me some soft Rafe 💁🏽‍♀️
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lesbianlotties · 8 months
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going to war to watch the Barbie movie was SO WORTH IT ACTUALLY 🩷🩷🩷🩷
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motto-chanto-itte · 3 months
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i wanted 2 cry so bad before kaitos execution arrgghh 😭😭😭 and i can't believe it's canon?????? maki really does love kaito hhhhhhh im so glad that's like the least they could've done i think,,,,, i love them i'm so glad they were able to have some peace with his death,,,,,,,
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juicedbeetle · 1 year
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i like to think post-canon beej would try really hard to make the netherworld a place where you don't have to feel alone anymore
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toasttedbaguels · 2 years
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oh i am going to kill this one particular class.
#i just. want to know what goes through someone head when they do this shit#whatever anyways one of the other technicians had a talk with their teacher and i’m HOPING thatll fix some things#idk i don’t always wanna bitch about work but like... when the teacher makes the most ridiculous requests that NO OTHER TEACHER HERE DOES..#like every friday i have to bring up her TWENT EIGHT students work and materials from ANOTHER BUILDING to the TOP FLOOR#when every other teacher that has the same setup just brings their shit back at the end of their lesson. like its lazy#even more lazy is that they don’t clean their shit ever and then complain when all our brushes and palettes are wrecked#like huh. huh. who did that i wonder? who also got their own individual art kits at the start of the year and yet still insists on using-#-and destroying the cupboard stock? huh? huh? bizarre.#bagel babbles#idk also she is just like. rude. to me at least. but fine to the other technician#because he’s like hot and cool or whatever idk. and i’m not him#i think she’s got it in her head that i’m less competent than him for some reason#which like yeah but only in specific skill areas like using all the fucking heavy workshop machinery i haven’t been trained on yet#like he’s LITERALLY been doing this three years and i started in octoberwhat do u want#also also just in general he’s like 5 years older than me. of course he’s had more time to learn this shit i’m TWENTY ONE#even then though like this guy is teaching now. *im* the main technician now. fucking put up with it girl i am not him.#rant over. anyways doesnt this sink look kinda like howls bath? happy wizard freak friday :)
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prinzessinpluto · 2 years
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today my friend told me that 'my personality' is books (as in, the internet sense of that sentence), I can die happy now :)
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