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marmixedwithabitofintellect · 2 years

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Chapter Two: Wild Ride

Chapter 2 here we go!! We have so many things happening and I know you guys are excited for some of them to come! I'm really sorry it took this long to post, but I hope from the bottom of my heart that the wait was worth! Also I wanna give a huge shoutout and thanks to Andrea from @behindmygreyeyes for helping me proofread, you really don't know how much it means to me 🥹✨ Come talk to me after you read and tell me what you think! All the love 🤍 Mar

Click on the visuals to enhance your reading experience!

Disclaimer: In no way do I wish to spread hate or negative opinions about any of the characters here depicted, this is just fiction and with the purpose of entertaining you guys

TW: Mentions of Sex, not too graphic but feel free to skip it

January 14, 2022 – February 13, 2022: Month One

January 17, 2022

Harry. New York City, New York. 12:30 PM.

It had been over a week since my family had left and I was proud to say we had been able to get into a routine. Pippa was growing too fast for my liking, but I swear I fell more and more in love with her everyday. She started to look so much more like her mumma. I am also very excited because we have the ‘all clear’ from our pediatrician to travel to London in a few days.

I have some work commitments and we both agreed that it would be nice for my family and some friends we have there to meet Pippa, so after a lot of planning on our end as well as on Jeff’s end, we had managed to fix a schedule. We will be leaving in five days and staying there until after Valentine’s Day.

I know I won’t tell Y/N this, but one of the reasons I am so excited to go to England is that we will be able to have either Gemma, or my mum babysit Pippa so I can take her out on a date, we were supposed to go on a date a few days ago, Ellie and Nate were supposed to babysit for us, but a winter storm had them stuck in Denver until further notice.

Upon hearing this, Richard had agreed to babysit for a few hours and after a lot of planning everything was set to go, until yesterday when he had tested positive for Covid. That left us where we are now, in a car waiting for Y/N to deliver a care package to her dad and ready to head home for the evening.

I was pulled from my thoughts when she opened the door and climbed on the back seat with Pippa, I smiled at her, “Hey, how did it go?” She removed her mask, put on some antibacterial and smiled at me, “Good, I just left in on the door and walked back, he looks good but was so bummed he couldn’t see this little bean before we leave”, she then cooed at the baby in her car seat

“I’m glad he’s okay, love”, I squeezed her knee before turning back and starting the drive back home. Once we got there, Y/N unbuckled Pip before handing her to me. I kissed her forehead before turning to look at my love, “I’ll get her ready for bed and I’ll meet you in the nursery afterwards, okay?” She nodded and kissed Pippa’s head before making her way to the living room.

I turned the lights on in the nursery and started humming to Pippa, “Let’s get you ready bunny”. I removed her knitted outfit and she let out a little whimper. “Oh no, no tears it’s okay yeah?” I changed her diaper and reached for the lotion since my little girl’s skin was pretty dry, and as I lathered her skin I started humming a song I had written for a special project, If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you, you'd be the spoon, dip you in honey so I could be sticking to you

After rubbing her body with lotion, I grabbed her long-sleeved onesie and tiny socks and once they were on, I grabbed the sleeper and dressed her up. “Look at you baby! You are the prettiest tiny baby, my heart!”. As I was brushing her hair, Y/N came in.

When she saw us, she smiled. I walked to meet her halfway and handed her Pippa. She started cooing before whispering to her, “Are you pretty hungry, tiny miss?” She kissed her head before turning to look at me, a mischievous look on her face. Before I could talk, she said to me, “Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll come get you once you’re done”. I smirked at her “Why?” She laughed, “Just do it please?” I nodded and kissed her forehead and then Pippa’s and left the room.

I knew she would normally take up to forty minutes to feed and put her to sleep, so before jumping into the shower I checked some emails ranging from the special project I would announce soon, our trip to London and our trip to California for Coachella. About twenty minutes later, I went into the bathroom and got through my shower routine.

I was just finishing putting my laundry away when there was a knock on my door. I walked to open it and found her there. She had changed into some pajamas, face cleaned and a top bun on her head. She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze before pulling me towards the living room. When we entered, I could feel a warmth fill me up.

She had hung up some fairy lights all around and dimmed the lights, there were pillows and blankets all over the floor. Two bowls of steamy alfredo pasta were set on the coffee table along with a basket of our favorite goodies and some hot chocolate. The perfect ending to this though was the snow that had started falling a few hours ago.

I turned and pulled her into a hug, I squeezed her and kissed her neck multiple times before pulling back. She smiled and said, “I know we were supposed to have another date, but we had to work with what we had”. I shook my head, “Baby this is way better than I could’ve hoped for, thank you”. She kissed my cheek and we sat down to eat.

While we ate, we pressed play on the movie she had chosen, which was Encanto because she was a Disney girl at heart. After the movie ended, I went and made some more hot chocolate and sat down next to her. One of my favorite things to do was talk to her about anything and everything.

“I wanna do something different.” I nodded while she continued to speak. “I want us to talk about what we did after we broke up and before you freak out, I think it is important in this new journey for us”. I sighed and gave her a smile. I said, “Are you sure?” She nodded and I cleared my throat before speaking up, “So, do you wanna go first?” She nodded her head.

“After Glenne picked me up from the house, we went into Whole Foods and bought some wine and dinner, then drove to Abalone Cove Shoreline Park. We sat on the beach and I cried for hours. I threw rocks as well as sand and cursed whatever I saw. After I finished, she dropped me at my hotel. I ordered some more champagne and some chocolate covered strawberries, and cried some more while watching the Mamma Mia movies before falling asleep”,

I kissed her cheek, she pulled back and shrugged her shoulders saying “I also paid with your card, Jeff sent it”. That had me laughing out loud before taking a deep breath, “How on Earth did I not find out, huh?” She gave me a childish smile, “That’s a secret we’ll never tell; how about you?” I cleared my throat before speaking up.

“After you left, I think I cried for a few hours, then… then I wrote you a song”. She sat up straighter, surprise written all over her face, “What?” I smiled, “Wanna listen to it?” She nodded and I stood up and grabbed my guitar before starting to play the song I had written to her. When I did, I could see the tears in her eyes which made my heart break. As soon as I was done, she pulled me into a hug before kissing the shell of my ear and whispering, “I love you, thank you”

“I love you more, and I know we still have to address the elephant in the room, but I’m still working with Patricia on it”. She shushed me, “Whenever you are ready, we will baby, there’s no rush”. I nodded and reached to pull her into my arms.

January 24, 2022

New York City, New York. 11:00 AM.

It was crazy to think that the last time I came to Betty’s office, I was still pregnant. Harry opened the door and we walked in. Randy smiled at us and said, “Hello you guys! Welcome! Oh, please let me see the baby!”. Harry and I smiled before stopping the stroller in front of her and pulling up the cover we had. She cooed before turning to look at us, “Good Lord she gets prettier and prettier each day!”

We laughed a little and turned to look at the door where Betty was coming out from. “There they are! Oh, it’s so good to see you three!” She hugged Harry and then turned to pull me into a hug before turning to see Pippa.“Well look at those cheeks! How are you, Miss Pippa?” She pulled back before turning to look at us, “Shall we?”

We nodded and followed her to her office. “So how have we been since the last time we spoke a few weeks ago?” Harry helped me remove my coat and sit down on the table, “It’s been good, we have been taking it pretty slow” She smiled while making her way to where I was. “That is pretty good”, she started taking my vitals and then helped me lay down so she could examine me.

“Has your bleeding stopped?” I nodded, “Last week” she nodded, “That’s okay, on average, new moms bleed from four to six weeks, so it doesn’t worry me. Everything is returning to it’s place and your uterus and cervix looks great”, I nodded, “How has breastfeeding gone?” I sighed, “It has been an up and down ride, there are days where feeds go great and others that leave us both crying”.

Betty frowned a little, “Are you pumping?” I nodded, “In between feeds” We moved to sit at her desk. I noticed Harry looking at me intently, I knew he would have something to say later on. Betty then cleared her throat and turned to look at me, “And… emotionally? How are you?”

I smiled and cleared my throat, “It has been a wild ride for sure, it has been a big adjustment, but honestly? I have not felt like I’m drowning”. I sniffled before reaching out to squeeze Harry’s hand, “He has been my anchor, and our families too; I mean I do feel some anxiety sometimes, especially when I think of her growing up”.

Betty smiled, “That’s normal darling, we all do, I remember with my babies I didn’t even leave my house for two months except for essential things”. I laughed, “Don’t get me started, that has me a little anxious?”, Betty gave us a questioning look, “We’re leaving for England in a few days, Harry has some work commitments and we’re visiting family”.

“Oh, how fun! It is normal for you to feel anxious, just please don’t keep it to yourself, like you said you have a tribe who will listen to you”. I nodded and felt Harry kiss my temple. She turned to my chart and started reviewing again. “Have you thought about birth control?” I nodded, “I wanted to know if I could go into the ‘minipill’? From my research I saw that it was the safest option while breastfeeding”. She nodded, “Oh absolutely, I will write a prescription for you”.

Harry and I nodded. “So the last thing to address, exercise and sex”. We both tensed at that and my heart leapt out of my chest. “I see no issue for you guys to engage in such activities, but please take it slow, I truly cannot express enough how important this is okay?” We both nodded before Harry squeezed my hand and spoke up, “I will take care of her, whatever her decision may be”. I turned to look at him and gave him an appreciative smile.

After Betty finished making notes she handed me the folder back and we said our goodbyes. When we left her office, we got into the car. I sat in the back with Pippa and once Harry sat down in the driver’s side, I reached to kiss his cheek. He turned and gave me a smile, “What was that for, huh?”. I shrugged, “Just because”. He nodded and turned back to start the car so we could leave to run our errands.

January 28, 2022

London, England. 12:30 PM.

The trip to London had been hectic to say the least. I never realized just how many things we actually needed to bring, that we could not buy in London. Once everything was packed, we made our way to Teterboro where we met Jeff, Tommy, and Harry L. because they were all traveling with us.

The flight itself had been pretty good, Pippa behaved like a champion and her father was the worst traveler of the group. After we landed in London, we made our way to Harry’s house. Both Anne and Gemma had already visited and helped us by getting us groceries and some meals since Pippa was having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the time change.

We had agreed that Harry’s family would meet Pippa once we traveled North for Harry’s birthday, but there was a visit that had me so excited, and that day had finally come. Florence Pugh, Gemma Chan, and I had bonded while H was filing ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ and stayed in touch since then. As of right now, they both were here in England getting ready to start some new projects, so we had agreed to have them come and meet Pippa.

As soon as I opened the door, I was pulled into a bone crushing hug by two of my closest friends, the three of us let out squeals of happiness and we swayed a little before pulling back. I moved and let both of our visitors come in, the girls having removed their shoes and coats, and we made our way to the living room.

Before we got there, Gemma piped up “Love where is your bathroom? I want to wash my hands before meeting the baby?”. Flo chimed in, “Yeah me too!”. I smiled and took them to the bathroom and let them know I would go to the kitchen to grab some things. Harry had helped me bring in the heavy stuff before going upstairs and getting Pippa up from her nap, so I just had to carry the teapot.

Gemma and Flo were standing in the living room looking at the photos Harry had displayed. They turned when I walked in and gave me a smile. “Come on sit down, do you want some tea?” The two of them nodded and took the seat on the loveseat closest to the window before Flo spoke up, “Can you please explain to me how the hell you look so hot after giving birth just one month ago?”

I laughed while Gemma nodded. I could feel my cheeks turn red before answering, “Breastfeeding, truly it is keeping me very occupied, and my pilates, little by little I have been able to get back to it”. Gemma nodded in awe, “Well darling you look amazing”. Before I could answer, Harry cleared his throat and the three of us turned to look at him and the little swaddled bundle in his arms.

Both Flo and Gemma gasped and squealed when they saw the baby before Flo screamed-whispered, “Look at that tiny baby!”. Gemma laughed before speaking up, “Look at that smile, there’s the proud dad!”. Harry handed me the baby before walking to where they were sitting and pulling them into a hug.

When he pulled back, he came to stand next to where I was and squeezed my hip. I cleared my throat before speaking up, “Ladies, there’s someone who is very excited, who wants to meet her aunts”. Before I could take a step to where they were sitting, Gemma put her hands up in a stop motion, “Wait! Let us put our mask on and some antibacterial gel”. Harry spoke up, “Hey, it’s fine if you don’t wear them”.

Flo scoffed before speaking up, “Of course we will, she’s a tiny baby and we have been with a lot of people, and sadly we’re not sure if everyone is vaccinated, I mean we are but I don’t wanna risk anything”. We both nodded and once they were ready they nodded. I walked to where they were standing and whispered, “Look Pip, these are your aunts; auntie Gemma and auntie Flo”.

Gemma reached to run a hand down her hair while Flo sniffled and placed her hands on her chest, “Look at her, she’s so beautiful, thank God she looks like her mumma”. That had Gemma and I laughing while Harry whined and pouted, “Come on Flo, I thought we were friends”. She shrugged her shoulders, “We are, but I need to speak the truth”. He scoffed, “Okay I’ll give you that”.

Gemma cleared her throat before whispering, “Can I hold her?” I nodded and transferred the baby into her arms. Gemma started swaying a little and cooed, “Hi Pippa, hi lovie, God look at you!” Flo was running her hand down her hair while also cooing, “I cannot wait until you’re old enough and I can take you to get a piercing”. Harry groaned again and Gemma and I laughed at her.

Gemma then motioned to Flo so she could let her hold the baby, Gemma carefully handed her Pippa and then came to give me a side hug before going to stand next to Harry. She turned and smiled, “I’m sorry to tell you pal, but she is all her mum’s beauty”. He shrugged his shoulders, “I cannot deny that”. She then gave him a small smile before telling him, “I’m proud of you Harry, of how much you have grown and who you are today”.

He sniffled before pulling her into a side hug and kissing her head, “Thank you Gemma, for being such a good friend even after everything that happened, I’m so happy my kids have you as an aunt”. Florence pipped in, “Kids?! Mate, you’re getting way ahead of yourself”. We all laughed at that before he turned to look at me, a sincere smile, “Just wait and see”.

Florence then spoke up, “Oh! Before we forget, we got the little miss a present”. She pulled out a box from her bag before handing it to me. I unwrapped it and found a box. I opened it and saw there was a little pendant with her initial engraved and on the back was her birthday. Gemma spoke up, “We know she is still small, so we thought of a gift she could grow with”.

I nodded and gave them both a teary smile, “Thank you girls, this is a gift I want for her to treasure forever”. Gemma handed Harry the baby and she made her way along with Flo to pull me into a group hug, and after a few seconds I heard them both whisper to me, “Congratulations mama”, “We are so proud of you”.

February 1, 2022

Harry. Holmes Chapel, England. 8:30 AM.

I was awakened by someone clearing their throat. When I groggily opened my eyes I smiled, my girls were standing there in front of me, Pippa in her arms, she was wide awake which led me to believe she had just fed her. “Well good morning, ladies”. Y/N handed Pippa to me and started walking back, “Wait I’ll be back in a moment”.

I nodded and sat up a little turning to kiss her little forehead, “Hi little Pip, what a great way to start my birthday huh?”. Y/N cleared her throat from outside the room and said “Can you close your eyes for a second?”. I laughed while closing them, a few seconds later she spoke again, “Are your eyes closed?”

“Yes, my heart, they are closed!”, A few seconds later I heard her come in and sing ‘Happy Birthday’. I opened my eyes and my heart started beating a thousand miles an hour when I saw her with a cake and a candle. She sat in front of me and as soon as she finished singing, she said “Wait wait! Before you blow let me take some pictures”.

I nodded, and after she was done, she said, “Okay then, close your eyes, make a wish, and blow your candle!”. I did as she asked me and blew out the candle and she gave a little cheer. I pulled her in and pulled her for a kiss. We pulled back and I brought her again before she whispered “Happy birthday baby”. I said “Thank you my love”.

She ran a hand down my cheek and said, “Your mom just finished preparing breakfast, shall we go down?” I groaned and pouted “I wanted to cuddle my girls”. She laughed and kissed my pout before saying, “We’ll cuddle after breakfast, yes? I’m so glad you convinced your mom to cater today’s food”. I laughed too before we both stood up and made our way downstairs to where my mum was finishing breakfast.

When she heard us come in, she gave me a big smile before speaking up, “There he is! Happy birthday baby boy!” I handed Pip to Y/N and pulled my mum into a hug, “Thanks mumma! I love you!”. We pulled back and my mum went to say hello to Y/N and Pip.

We all sat down to eat breakfast and talked about the plans for today. Y/N then cleaned the table while mum disappeared for a second and returned with a gift in her hands which she placed in front of me. “Mum you didn’t have to!”. She shrugged, “It’s nothing, just open it”. I pulled the lid off the box and reached in for the item which turns out was a polaroid camera. My mum spoke up

“I know this lovely lady has your old one, so I wanted to gift you one so you could have it with you always”, I smiled at her and pulled her for a hug, “Thank you mumma”. She kissed my cheek, “You’re welcome darling”.

February 1, 2022

Holmes Chapel, England. 12:30 PM.

I was pulled from my slumber by a tiny whimper coming from the travel cot at my bedside. Harry was cuddling me, so I carefully pulled out to grab Pippa. When I did, she started crying, “Oh hey, no need for that missy, I know you’re hungry, my boobs are making sure I know”, Anne had been so nice to bring one of her loveseats here so I could breastfeed, so I sat there to feed Pippa.

About twenty minutes into the feeding, I heard a pull of air and turned to see Harry waking up, he started looking around the room and smiled, “There they are! Hi, my loves”. “Hello birthday boy, how was your nap?”. He stretched and laid down again, “It was good, but I missed you guys”. I smiled at him then I remembered something.

“Hey, there are two packages inside my suitcase, could you please grab them?” He nodded and went into the closet. When he came back, he was trying so hard to keep a straight face but was failing miserably.He placed the gifts on the bed before making his way to where I was finishing feeding Pippa and setting her up for a burp. “I thought we had agreed on no gifts missy”.

I shrugged my shoulders and told him “It’s your birthday, you deserve to be pampered, and the truth is one is mine and the other is from your little girl”. He kissed the back of her head and my forehead before going to sit on the bed. “Which should I open first?” I pointed to the square box and he nodded and started unwrapping it.

“That one is from Pip”. He smiled and removed the paper as he he pulled out a personalized book from Pippa. I could see him tear up and looked up at me, “Baby…” I smiled, “That way, you two can have your special bedtime story book”. “I cannot wait to read it to her, thank you”. He walked to where we were sitting and kissed me.

“I’m glad you loved it baby”. He then made his way back to the bed and grabbed the other gift. When he opened it, he pulled out a box full of vouchers I had made for dates, massages, dinners, kisses, and more. He laughed and turned to look at me, “When can I start redeeming them?”, “Hm, when we return to London”. He groaned, but nodded.

I stood up and started swaying with Pippa. He came and hugged us telling me“Thank you for my gifts baby, I love them so much”. I kissed his lips, “I’m glad you do”. I turned to see the time and sighed, “We better start getting ready, everyone will be here in about an hour”. He groaned but nodded, “Are you ready for them to meet her?” I nodded excitedly, “Especially Thea and Ella”. He smiled, “Me too love”.

February 1, 2022

Harry. Holmes Chapel, England. 4:30 PM.

I was pretty thankful that this birthday I had all of my family here with me to celebrate. The food mum had ordered was delicious and everyone was so happy to meet Pippa. I was currently seated on the floor playing with Thea while Ella was holding Pippa. She turned to look at me and gave me a smile.

“I cannot believe that just a few years ago we were joking about coming to your mum’s house for Christmas with our babies and we are here now”. I laughed, “I know, still feels like a dream huh?” She nodded, I turned to look at Thea who gave me a gummy smile, “Oh look at that smile! You are gorgeous darling!”, Ella smiled, “And this lovie! I’m so impressed by how much she looks like her mumma.”

We sat there for a few minutes in silence just cuddling the babies before Ella spoke up again, “I’m proud of you H; you chose a great woman to be your partner.”, I gave her a smile, “Just like you and Ryan”, I reached to squeeze her knee, we both turned to the door where Gemma entered carrying a cake while my family started singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

After they were done, I blew out the candles and my mum started cutting the cake, sharing a piece with everyone. I sat down next to where Y/N was sitting talking with my auntie Dee who was holding Pippa. She smiled at us, “She really is a beauty Harry, oh I cannot wait until you two get married!” We both laughed before I squeezed her hip before answering my aunt, “Soon Aunt Dee”. Y/N kissed my cheek in reassurance before answering, “All in due time”.

February 1, 2022

Holmes Chapel, England. 8:45 PM.

After we said goodbye to the last guests, I went into the kitchen where Anne was waiting for me. She made sure Harry was not near before she pulled out a wrapped gift from the cabinet and handed it to me, “Here darling, everything is ready for you guys”. I smiled and grabbed the gift, “I really cannot thank you enough”.

She shrugged her shoulders, “You guys deserve a night off, and I am really excited about having one-on-one with my babe”. I reached in and pulled her into a hug, “We’ll see you tomorrow, yes? Please if you need anything call us, but milk is pumped and measured for you, and I left everything you might need out”. She squeezed my arms, “We’ll be okay, and you guys will be a fifteen-minute drive away”. I nodded and jumped a little when I heard someone clear their throat.

I turned and smiled when I found Harry standing there, “What are you ladies up to huh?”. I smiled and while Anne excused herself Harry made his way to me. He pulled me into his arms, settling his hands on my lower back and kissed my lips before speaking up, “Hi lovie”. I laughed and then whispered to him, “Hi birthday boy”.

He pouted his lips and squeezed my love handles, “Heeey”., I laughed and kissed his chest, “Hi love”. He gave me a boyish grin before reaching down to pull me into a kiss. Before we could get carried away, I pulled back, which he was not happy about and he started blowing raspberries on my neck.

I was laughing so hard but managed to tell him in between laughs, “Wait! Wait! I have one last birthday present for you!”. He pulled back, a soft smile decorating his face, “You didn’t have to, you have given me so much already”. I shrugged my shoulders, “It’s your birthday, and I wanna make up for the birthday I missed”. I grabbed the box which was on the counter next to me and handed it to him. “Open it”.

He smiled and unwrapped the little gift and came across a box. When he pulled off the lid, he found a key and grabbed it, “Did you buy me a house?”. I shook my head, “Not really, but I did get us a place for the night, just you and me”. There was a twinkle in his eyes I hadn’t seen in a while. He leaned and whispered, “Will I need my birthday suit?” My heart started beating so fast at his comment before whispering to him, “Maybe…”

I kissed the shell of his ear and walked away to the living room so I could cuddle Pippa, who was lounging on her bouncer. Before we left, I picked her up and started swaying while kissing her head. A few seconds later, Harry came into the room and pouted when he saw Pippa. He came to where we were standing and ran a hand down her head.

“Are you okay leaving her?” I nodded, “We need some time for us H, she has been the center of our Universe for the last two months”. He nodded and smiled at his mom, who had just walked into the living room. He pulled her into a hug, “Thank you mum”. Anne hugged him back and kissed his cheek before pulling back, “You guys deserve this, Pippa will definitely be okay yes?”, I nodded and turned to look at Harry and gave him a reassuring smile.

Harry asked “Can I hold her?”, I nodded and handed the baby to him, who immediately cuddled into his chest, her favorite place. He smiled and swayed a little before kissing her head and telling her, “Please be on your best behavior for Nana yes? Mumma and Daddy will be back before you notice it, but if you miss us too much just tell your Nana and she’ll give us a call.” Anne and I let out a laugh, God this man was very much in love with his baby.

He then handed her to me and turned to hug is mom bye, while I squeezed Pippa a little before whispering to her, “I’ll miss you sweet girl, I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?”. When Harry and Anne pulled back she made her way to me. I handed her the baby and she pulled me into a side hug, “Enjoy yourselves darling, we’ll be fine”. I nodded and kissed her cheek before making my way to where Harry was standing, I pulled the overnight bag from the closet and we left the house before we both cried.

February 1, 2022

Harry. Holmes Chapel, England. 9:10 PM.

When we closed the door, my heart started racing with excitement. I was so thankful for all the surprises I had gotten today, but this topped pretty much everything. As I was about to get into the driver side Y/N pulled me to the passenger side. I obliged and smiled at her, “You’re driving huh?”

She smiled and nodded her head, “You just have to relax and let me do my thing okay?”, I smiled at her, she then grabbed a blindfold from her pocket and turned to look at me, “May I?”. I nodded and she carefully came over to where I was seated., I put my seatbelt on and once I was settled she placed the blindfold on me. Before she pulled back she placed a kiss on the corner of my lips.

I whined a little and she laughed before I interrupted her, “Stop teasing!” She squeezed my arm, leaned into me and whispered to my ear, “Don’t worry, there’s so much more from where that came from.” I shuddered and sat up a little straighter while I heard her make her way to the driver’s side.

She turned on the car and when the radio came to life I smiled, “Is this our playlist?”She hummed in agreement, “It is baby, thought we could make our fifteen-minute drive a little bit more entertaining, what do you think?”,“I love it, I love you.” She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze, “I love you more.”

The ride itself went really fast. Once she parked the car and turned off the radio, I heard her get out the door, and a few seconds later I heard her come to my side. She opened the door and removed my seatbelt before helping me get out of the car. Once I was out, she closed the door and made her way to the boot to grab the overnight bag.

I heard a thud which meant she probably had dropped the bag before squeezing my arms, “Okay, you ready?” I nodded eagerly and she laughed as she removed my blindfold, I waited for a second before I opened my eyes and was in awe at the little cottage in front of us. I turned to see my girl and gave her a smile, “Where did you find this?”

She shrugged before answering, “I have my secrets.” I laughed and pulled her into a hug before whispering, “Thank you my love.” She squeezed me before pulling back, “Come on, there is more inside.” I grabbed her hand and scoffed when she did not let me help her with the overnight bag. We stopped at the front door and she nudged me to open and go inside.

My heart was beating so fast, I truly did not know what to expect. I opened the door and immediately smiled at the sight, the cottage was lined up with fake candles and sunflower bouquets. I continued to walk inside and stopped at the kitchen where I found a little banoffee pie with a candle.

It was then that I noticed that the living room was filled with balloons that had pictures of me with all my favorite people, including her and Pippa, and in the middle of the room I found a book addressed to me. I kneeled down and started tearing up when I realized there were letters from people in my life, friends from high school, people from my One Direction times, my filming crew and some cast mates, a drawing from Otis and Daisy, and at the end my closest friends which included letters from all four boys.

As I was looking, I furrowed my brows when I noticed that Y/N had not written me anything, but just before I could ask her why, I saw that the last page had gotten stuck and when I turned I let out a sob when I found three of my favorite pictures of all time, I had taken it when we were at the hospital when Pippa was born, one of my girls snuggling in the very early hours of the morning, the last one was of the first belly pictures she had ever sent me, which had also been my lock and home screen until Pippa was born.

And the third one, a picture of us cuddling on the couch, with our hands resting on her belly. I remember I took it just a few days before Pippa had made her arrival, and back then I swore I could never ever love the woman laying with me more than I did, turns out I was wrong. I smiled when I found her handwriting, I knew she wasn’t a big writer, but her message conveyed everything I knew she wanted to say: Thank you for finding your way back to me <3

When I turned and stood up I started tearing up again when I saw her standing there with the cake and candle turned on, she started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me once more and once she was done, I laughed and leaned down to blow the candle, I pulled her in for a kiss before I felt her smear some of the whipped cream on my cheek.

I nuzzled myself into her neck making sure that my cheek full of whipped cream was rubbing her, and God I swear her laugh could make even the angriest man laugh. “Stop! H, please stop!” I kissed her neck and pulled back a little before smiling at her and reaching to peck her lips. She opened her mouth, then closed it again, before gaining her momentum again and saying, “Shall we eat this pie?”

I nodded in agreement, and although I did want to eat the pie I knew that was not what she wanted to tell me, but I would respect her and wait until she was ready to say what she wanted to say. I sat down on the chair and pulled her into my lap, “Thank you baby, I loved the book”. She smiled while eating her pie and feeding me some. She swallowed and then answered, “You deserve it H”.

She suddenly stood up and went into the little fridge and pulled out a bottle of non-alcoholic wine before coming back to me. I asked “We’re doing it out of the bottle?” She nodded and smiled, she then offered me the bottle before giving me an apprehensive look, “I’m sorry it’s not alcoholic, I know- “

I shushed her by placing a finger on her mouth to silence her, “Baby don’t apologize, I know how much breastfeeding means to you, and I wouldn’t ask you to pump and dump just because of my birthday.” She nodded, a small appreciative smile on her face before encouraging me to take a sip, which I did. We passed it back and forth, and as we drank our wine and ate our pie I could feel something in the atmosphere shift.

While I was dishing the last of her pie, she cleared her throat and I turned to give her a smile. When I ran a hand along her thigh, she had that look again, and I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it meant, but this time her look did not falter. “Do you remember when we went and saw Betty?” I nodded, “Yeah, about a week ago, why?” She was playing with her fingers before she answered me, “Do you remember what she said about…us?” Ahh, so this is where she was going huh? Maybe I’ll tease her a bit.

I nodded, “I do baby, she said you were doing so well with your recovery and that she was happy to see you.” She nodded, “Yeah, and what else did she say?” I pretended to ponder for a moment before turning to look at her, a serious expression in my face, “That was all wasn’t it?”, I could see her start to blush while she whined and hid herself in my neck.

I laughed and kissed her cheek before whispering to her, “I know what else she said, I just wanted to make you sweat baby.” She pulled back while imitating me and then wrapped her arms around my neck before kissing my nose and speaking up, “You think you’re so funny huh?” She kissed my nose again before sitting straighter and clearing her throat, I could tell she was nervous, and for some reason I started to feel nervous too.

“In all seriousness, and addressing the elephant in the room”, I nodded and squeezed her hip letting her know I was listening to her, “Six weeks are up”, I nodded, “And... well we have gotten in between second and third base so far yeah?” I chuckled and nodded. She sighed before continuing, “What if… what if I told you I was ready for a home run?” My heart started beating so fast and I took a deep breath before speaking up.

“Baby…” She placed her finger on my lips, “I know where you are heading so let me reassure you; no, it is not just because it is your birthday, I genuinely want you to make love to me, I trust you enough to know you will take care of me.”

I squeezed her hips. “Baby this is like your first time all over again.” She nodded, “And I want it to be with you.” I was still apprehensive, I knew how important this was for her and truly, I did not feel like I deserved to be the one it happened with. She kissed my temple before whispering into my ear, “I know what you are thinking, you do deserve it baby, I would always choose you, my best friend, baby daddy, love of my life.”

She pulled back and gave me a smile, there was something in her look that made me feel like butterflies were roaming my belly, something that screamed I love you, I trust you. After a few moments I nodded, “Are you completely sure?” She laughed, “Man, if I knew how hard it would be for me to undress you I wouldn’t have asked.” We both laughed before I grabbed her face and squeezed her cheeks to get her attention.

“I’m sorry, I just really want for you to be sure, I feel honored you want this with me baby, and yes, I promise I will take care of you.” She nodded before reaching to kiss me and after a few seconds she pulled back before whispering to my lips, “Take me upstairs?”, I hoisted her up by her thighs and as we continued to kiss, we started making our way upstairs, but not before making sure the door was locked.

I put her on her feet when we got upstairs, I was in awe, the room was full of candles, the air had a smell of citrus which reminded me of our trip to Sorrento when it suddenly dawned on me and I pulled back, “Wait… is this the scent the hotel in Sorrento we stayed in used?” She gave me a cheeky smile and nodded her head, “You know what happened in Sorrento, I thought we could relive old happy memories.”

I smiled while shaking my head, “You are something else baby, God, I love you” I walked to where she was standing and kissed her, then I pulled her into a hug and while she nuzzled into my neck. I told her again “Thank you for trusting me with this baby, I promise it will be special.” She pulled back and gave me a small smile, her eyes were full of fear and her hands were trembling, if she could hear and feel how fast my heart was going, she would be so surprised.

February 1, 2022

Holmes Chapel, England. 10:05 PM.

My hands were shaking, and my heart was beating about a thousand beats per minute. He reached to grab my hands and brought them to his lips, “Baby, you’re shaking so much, we really don’t have to do anything if you don’t feel comfortable or ready.”, I smiled and shook my head, “I want to, it’s just my nerves talking.”

He gave me an apprehensive nod and a smile, “We can stop whenever you feel like it, okay? I’ll go slow.” I smirked, “I should be the one undressing you, it’s your birthday after all.” He laughed, grabbed my face and kissed it, “Well, the birthday boy wants to be the one who undresses you.” I smiled and nodded.

I let out a shuddering breath., hHe pressed his forehead to mine and nudged his nose with mine before whispering, “Hey, it’s just me my love.”, I nodded and reached for his lips, and while we kissed, he pulled my sweater off my torso and I thenI reached to remove his coat, not caring where it fell.

While he ran his hands down my body, I started unbuttoning his shirt. Once I finished, I pulled it off his shoulders while and he removed the tank top I had been wearing today. I got so nervous I pulled my hands over my body, but he kissed my forehead and removed my arms, and told me “You’re gorgeous and I’m obsessed with your body baby, don’t hide it.” He patted my thighs which I took as a sign to jump into his arms while he walked us back to the bed.

He laid us down and started placing feather soft kisses on my neck while I played with his little curls. The familiar feeling of trust was finally starting to settle in, I felt him reach to pull down my leggings. I pulled one of my hands from his hair to try and unbuckle his pants, and before we knew it all of our clothing had been discarded.

Both of us sat up and were panting, looking into each other with eyes full of lust and love, and an appreciation for being able to find us again. Harry placed his hand on my cheek, and I did on his chest, which God I had forgotten was my weakness. His eyes were so ever reassuring, wanting to have my permission before doing anything else. I nodded and reached to pull him into a kiss, and when he squeezed my side I opened my mouth and moaned when I felt his tongue slip in.

His hands started caressing all the dips and valleys of my body, while his lips never left my face and neck. A squeeze to my thighs had me turning to look him in the eyes, lust written all over them and a question of whether he should continue or not, when I nodded, he started kissing his way down my body to where I craved him the most.

With rolling eyes and a panting chest I welcomed the haze and euphoria he had managed to vest upon me. Soft sultry whispers of his name fell off my lips, a squeeze to the hand he had pressed in my direction wanting to remind him how good it felt and how much I trusted him. I really did not know how much time had passed, the burning was growing bigger and bigger by the second until it had me arching my back and screaming his name as I let myself go.

And as the haze disappeared along with the newfound lightness, I felt him kiss my belly before I looked down and gave him a lazy smile. Oh how I had missed this feeling, the feeling only he knew how to give me. I leaned on my elbows and gave him a smile, still panting and trying to hold on to this feeling before he spoke up, “Still got it huh?” I laughed and nodded, “I swear it was even better than before.”

I pulled him up by his hand and we laid down next to each other, words would never be enough to describe the love I felt for this man. He nudged his nose with mine as a way of making sure I was still okay. I nodded and kissed his lips before pulling back and resting his forehead with mine. hHe caressed my hair while I played with the little curls that fell at the back of his head, hoping that I was able to convey everything I was feeling right in that moment.

I love you, I missed this, I missed us

He started placing pecks all over my face, and that was enough for me to understand what he was trying to say

I love you too, I missed us, I missed you more than life itself, I’ll always take care of you

If there was something I loved, it was seeing Harry blissful and happy, just like we are now. I started kissing his neck and shoulders before kissing his chest. I swung a leg over his torso and settled there, his hands reached to squeeze my thighs, a lazy, sexy smile adorning his face. I kissed his temple, then turned to his lips, chin and below his ear.

As his breath quickened, I continued to place some kisses on his chest, pecks, over the butterfly that adorned his belly while also slithering down to settle in between his legs; once I saw the ferns, I took my time loving them before moving to the tiger which I had honestly missed so much. His moans were increasing in volume and his hands were searching for something to hold on to before finally settling on the comforter.

And as his abdomen contracted, I could see his face start turning red, sweat dripping down his temples and more soft moans falling from his mouth, moans that increased in volume and were accompanied by my name and his favorite nicknames, until suddenly it all stopped and his sigh of relief was the only thing I could hear. A triumphant smile decorated my face while I straddled him again and kissed his nose before asking him, “Hey, you still with me?” A lazy smile all over his face before nodding and answering in a hoarse voice, “You are trying to kill me”

The stamina was still going strong, and the desire had only grown, and as I caressed his curls, I felt his hand roam all over my torso, heart rate slowly rising and sweat starting to fall in the dip of my back. As he laid kisses on the crevice between my neck and chest he blew a raspberry. I laughed, and a second later his laugh met mine.

He settled his hand on my hip giving it a squeeze hoping to get my attention, I turned to see his face adorned with a smile, silently asking for my permission to allow his hand continue south down my body. I placed a kiss on his chin before nodding, his fingers swiftly moving along, silent moans exiting my lips.

I closed my eyes and colors exploded behind my eyelids, the mix of his fingers moving, the spark that we both shared combined with the anticipation had me squeezing his bicep and leaving fingernail imprints on his skin. My loud moans and terms of endearment filled the vast room until all of a sudden, I could only see white.

We laid there in silence for a few before I cleared my throat and whispered, “Harry?” He hummed, “Yes, my love?” He turned to look at me, I nudged his nose with mine before whispering to his lips, “Make love to me” He gave me the sweetest smile and nodded, “You don’t even have to ask”, and before I could react he had pulled me to a straddle in his lap and was now lovingly kissing my chest and collarbone, a tingling overtaking my feelings before he stopped and turned to look me in the eye.

“We’ll stop whenever you feel like it okay?” I nodded and he started kissing my neck, ear and cheeks, before stopping on my lips and whispering, “I love you” All of a sudden, the connection, feeling and warmth that I had missed and was also terrified of experiencing again was there, but God I had been so wrong, this felt so right for both of us. Both of our pants and moans intertwined with the warm light decorating the room.

As we tried to find a rhythm there was laughter, there was a clumsiness that came from the nerves we both had and the desire to please each other to the best of our capabilities; and all of a sudden there was bliss, stolen kisses and whispers, there was thrill and excitement, there was surprise with the laughter, there were memories and above all there was love, there was a recognition of the love we shared and the reminder that this love had given us her, the one who held our heart.

As my heartbeat raised and the burning and eagerness grew, and as we both started panting even harder, there was a need, a climb to reach the highest point possible. Harry turned to me and desperately whispered, “Whenever you’re ready my love.” I nodded and started kissing his neck, and just like the last time, there was a release, a relief full of happiness and bliss. I am not sure how long we laid there cuddling, my head over his heart listening to the beating slow down, his hand running down my arm.

A recognition shared between us through love in our eyes and relaxed smiles. This was so worth the wait, I would wait for you forever.

After we were both calm, he turned to look at me and whispered, “Forever and always?” I smiled and pulled him for a kiss before pulling back a little and whispering to his lips, “Always and forever.”

February 2, 2022

Harry. Holmes Chapel, England. 7:35 AM.

A tickle in my nose pulled me from my slumber. I opened my eyes to find my love sleeping with her head resting where my heart was and her hand tangled with mine, and for a few moments the only thing I could do was stare at her.

She was beautiful, she was light, she was magic, she was more than I ever could hope for in a partner, and everything I would ever need and more. As we laid there, I took the opportunity to study her, she was the same girl I fell in love with four years ago, but now she had some eye bags that came along with the territory of being a new mum.

Her freckle I loved to kiss was still there, she had some wrinkles but against popular thought she got them from laughing rather than aging, her hair was changing like crazy from postpartum loss and new growth. I wanted to let her rest so I quietly got out of bed and made my way downstairs, where I started brewing some coffee and sat down to sip it while watching the morning roll in the field behind the cottage.

It was crazy to think how different this birthday had been from last year. Yes, I did celebrate with friends and Olivia, but my family missing it was a huge downer; and truthfully, I was still grieving my breakup with Y/N. It was around that time Patricia and I started working on how those feelings affected me.

If you would have told 27-year-old me that this birthday he would have spent it cuddling the love of his life and their teeny tiny baby girl he would’ve laughed, because how on Earth would the woman who broke his heart in an effort to mend her already broken heart forgive him? And especially agree to raise a baby with him? Nah that was surreal to even think about, but then again, here we are.

I was pulled from my thought when I felt a pair of arms hug me from behind. I smiled and placed my cup on the table before pulling her arms so she could sit with me. Ipecked her lips multiple times before muttering against them, “Good morning my love.” She smiled before replying, “Good morning, slept well?”

I nodded and continued to peck her lips, while getting ourselves comfortable so that we could cuddle for a bit. She had brought a blanket with her for us to be warm.After a few seconds of silence she started laughing. I turned and gave her a questioning look, but she started getting bashful before replying, “I just remembered I had another surprise for you for yesterday, but I was so nervous I forgot.”

I laughed and kissed her neck before muttering, “Maybe you can show it to me now??” She laughed and shook her head, “Nah, I think I’ll let the anticipation grow”, I rolled my eyes but nodded. We settled again for a little but there was something in her eyes, a thought that was troubling her.

“Baby? You okay?” She nodded her head and sighed, “Can I ask you something?”, I nodded, “What does home mean for you?”, I pondered a little before answering, “You and Pippa, the thought of coming home to you too every single day”. She nodded and then asked, “Is there any place that makes you think of home?”, I answered “You two, I truthfully could be in London, New York, LA or China for all I know, but if you two are with me everything will be okay, why?”

She sighed and turned to look at me, “It’s just that I’ve been thinking about it a lot, about what home means to me and where do I see my home, and much like you, home is Pippa and it’s you, it’s knowing that at the end of the day you two are with me, but a home also means community, means having a support system.”

She gave me sad smile before continuing, “We don’t have that in New York H, yes my family lives there but they all have their life, and the times you need to be away for work will start the need for the support system will be greater.” I squeezed her hip, “What are you saying baby?” She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know, maybe… maybe we could think about moving… back here?”

I sat up a little, “To Holmes Chapel?” She shook her head, “Maybe London? I know you have work to do in the city and Gemma lives there and we have friends, and your mom is also close”. I cleared my throat, “What about LA?” She shook her head, “I don’t wanna raise Pippa there, where paparazzis lurk in every corner.” She had a point, London was the place I was papped the least, if anything it was fans who would ask for pictures and it would be easier to ask them for privacy.

“I though you loved New York baby?” She gave me a melancholy smile, “I do, I love it with all my heart, but my heart has another person whose safety and wellbeing comes first, she deserves stability, having family close by, being able to go to a park without the fear of getting papped”, I nodded.

Before I could answer she spoke up, “It’s just something to think about, yes? We don’t have to make a permanent decision over it”. I nodded, “Yeah, we have all the time in the world.” She gave me a passionate kiss before pulling back a little and muttering, “We do.”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 22:30 AM.

Pippa was turning two months old today and I was in denial. How can my baby be so big already? Time needed to slow down a little please. To celebrate, Harry and I had decided to go out for Sunday brunch at The Mandrake, and afterwards we would go to the British Museum.

Brunch was amazing and now we were making our way to the museum when we stopped at Whittard so I could buy some tea. Harry following behind me with Pip asleep in the carrier, smelling all the teas. After making our way to the cashier, he paid for my tea, his excuse? A gift for being a mom for two whole months.

I laughed and kissed his cheek, “Thank you baby.” He kissed my forehead, “You’re welcome my heart.” We left the cashier and started making our way to the exit. As soon as we did, I crashed into someone and almost went tumbling when a hand stopped me.

When I got my footing back and let Harry know I was okay, I turned to see the person with whom I had crashed. Oh boy was I in for a surprise, “I’m so sorry I was not looking where I was- Mathew?” He stood up straighter, still as tall and handsome as I had remembered, but having aged a little and looking pretty surprised, just as I was before he muttered, “Birdie?”

@adoredeanna @alienorknight @be-with-me-so-happily @beachwoodcaferryy @behindmygreyeyes @cherrylovesblog @clarawolf22 @dayxoxodreamer @dirtytissuebox @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @goldenlouvr @groovychaosavenue @harrysficreblog @harryspirate @hoya122 @imaginesofdreams @i-got-the-cinema @infinitely-yellow @irelilien @itsgabbysblog @itsgigikay @jgoff717 @kathy522 @kaitieskidmore1 @last-saturday-night @michellekstyles @msolbesg @qualitygiantshoepsychic @shawnsblue @spicyscorpsag @sunshinemoonsposts @tinydeskwriter @tinydestinybear @tpwkstyles1d @voosa @watercolorskyy @wherethehellhaveyoubeenharry

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takeshitakyuuto · 10 months

Text

Trigun Book Club update volume 2/3/who knows

One more week until Trigun Maximum! Then my volume numbers won’t be off :’)

I feel like every time I sat down to read this time around, I got interrupted. Anyways, this is a long one, so buckle up

Ch 13. get his ass cobbler-san

Yaaaaaay ice cream on Vash! Me too me too!

Quite the introduction for Mr. Collarbones

I’m sorry that it’s just kinda funny to me whenever characters call Vash by his full name. That’s Mr. ヴァッシュ・ザ・スタンピード to you

Knives! Your reputation precedes you

I love when Vash puts on his shooting glasses and immediately my spotify switches to FFXIV battle music

Okay so maybe I kinda spoiled myself probably not really, since the beginning I’ve had the question (that the reader is obviously supposed to have) of why does Vash have such a big bounty on his head, but I saw someone say that he’s the Jesus character of Trigun and like. okay question answered I know enough about Christianity to fill in the blanks here, anyways with that it mind it’s really interesting to see how Vash mentions that his goal is to send Knives to hell

This guy kinda reminds me of that guy from Yu Gi Oh. Kaiba? Yeah Kaiba

12 pieces of coin, twelve assassins, twelve disciples. im making big brain connections here (joking)

There’s a ...head in that bag? [insert “so no head” gif]

Ch 13.5 [I think this is an extra chapter] i like the little background we’re getting on Vash and the visuals with him standing over the mass amounts of crosses like a graveyard is really cool

Alright cut it out Nightow we don’t need to get weird here

Even though I rarely read manga digitally anymore, I feel so spoiled with how much manga is published online nowadays. These very obvious scans of paper volumes is so much harder to read, I’m sounding out like half the words I read

You know that chapter of Kino’s Journey (okay I know you don’t bear with me here) where Kino goes to that country where everyone is obsessed with this one guy’s painting of tanks and they’re all like “it says so much about war and society” and then Kino meets the painter and he’s all like “nah I just think tanks are really cool”. Yeah that painter is Nightow

Which is more elegant, this girl’s dress of Vash’s coat tails?

Has Vash always worn an earring? Have I just never noticed? I see but don’t look? How coquette

The interspersed English that Nightow uses always adds a bit of humor. I’m not even a translator but sometimes I think about what I would do with those bits. Would I keep it to make extra work? Would I translate it into a different language that’s more commonly understood than Japanese but not English (such as Spanish)? Translations are weird man....

Vash has the best pouting face of all time

Okay sorry I said a lot in that chapter but I don’t think any of it was serious. Not that that was a very important chapter anyways, other than the bits of world building we got at the very beginning

Volume three! Ch 14. Omg I see that big cross in the cover. Do we get to meet Nicholas Wolfwood himself? God I hope I’m right and he’s the one with the cross because I’m blasting this post for the Trigun Scholars to see. Blease be kind I know so little

Seems like this volume or at least this chapter is going to be a lot of Vash vs Kaiba

So we’re seeing Rem’s death scene and how it displays her love for humanity, sacrificing herself to save some, even if she can’t save everyone. And seeing that Knives has been a bit fucked from the beginning huh. And why Vash hates him so much (cue Losing My Religion by REM playing in the back)

Vash is typically painted as an angelic type of character (thinking back to chapter nine[?] with the angel/plant they met on the sand steam) so having him depicted more as a devil character is really interesting. They even called this his true nature, although that could just be this villain character giving him shit. I’m excited to see how Vash’s character is fleshed out in future volumes and how these seemingly two sides of him create a whole

Ch 15. I don’t know (yet?) if Knives’ plan was to kill Rem along with a bunch of humans but damn. backfiredddd

So this spirit/angel urging Vash not to kill must be Rem right? Since he said that if he kills here, she’ll be gone for real? I’m taking this to be more of Vash’s memory of her and not a literal angel or spirit

Ch 16. I was totally about to rag on them for having all this insane technology and Meryl still having to use a typewriter but then I remembered that this series is from what. the 80s? Earlier? Honestly who could’ve imagined the technology we’d have in just twenty years from then, it’s insane.

Oh that’s cool! Vash is called “Humanoid Typhoon” right? It’s usually written as 「人間台風」which literally translates to human typhoon but at the beginning of this chapter, Meryl calls him 「人間災害」with furigana instructing the reader to read it as “humanoid typhoon” (same as with the other times), however this translates to “human disaster” rather than typhoon

One coin part down, eleven to go...

We’ve finally officially established that Vash has a prosthetic arm, I was wondering when that was gonna happen

First of all what is Vash carrying with him second of all holy shit that panel of the person(?) nailed on the cross

That thing was set up specifically for him? Is this another one of the twelve assassins? I feel like I’m gonna get bored of this set up real quick if it continues on like this

oh man I’m struggling with the blurriness of this volume, I keep messing up さ and き in the furigana and if anything’s got a dakuten I’m a gonner

Ch 17. I bet these poor citizens see someone in an over the top ridiculous outfit and just think to themselves, aw man this bitch is about to blow up the city again. Good thing I renewed my insurance last month

Yaoi proportions are back!

Having the guy who’s pissing you off rip out his own still-beating heart with his own bare hands is pretty badass ngl

Is Kaiba (okay I know his name is Legato but this is funnier) trying to bring about the apocalypse or something? Or rather eradicate enough humans to be able to live peacefully, whether that means all humans or just the ones he considers “evil”? Right now he’s giving me a lot of Light Yagami vibes

Ch 18. Cross guyyyyyy hell yeah. You know, maybe you wouldn’t collapse in the street if you didn’t carry a big ass cross with you everywhere. Just food for thought

Wolfwood speaks in Kansaiben???? Help I’m falling in love it’s my one weakness in this world

I’ve decided that I never want to see Wolfwood written in katakana ever again.

Wolfwood just needs to say あかん and ホンマ and I’m already head over heels

I really like Wolfwood and I promise it’s more than just the Kansaiben! I love how nice he is and he seems to be able to read people pretty well and also he’s kind of a dork. But the Kansaiben helps too

Ch 19. Omg the one guy who I was immediately like 🫵 yaoi proportions ended up being Hornfreak. Yep that’s just how it is

Isn’t it so fun when words you learned from anime pop up elsewhere? There’s “human trafficking,” which I learned from Yona of the Dawn

Oh? It’s Dominique not Dominic? That explains the かしら. Honestly I do like Nightow’s style of “I can’t tell what gender this person is”

Nightow also really likes drawing Vash ass up this is not the time for a dirty joke

Oh my god hes going super sayan also oh my god im so stupid i just closed out of my trigun tab trying to switch jfc

Ch 20. The cat stepped on my laptop and flipped all the images omfg I am having such a time trying to read today oh my god I can’t get it back I guess I’ll just restart my laptop for now? holy shit

Yeah okay closing out of the site didn’t help, restarting my laptop didn’t help, all files were flipped, but luckily someone suggested clearing the cookies for that site and it actually worked. I am so bad with technology. What a ridiculous day.

I’m gonna be honest I don’t know how you all can read this in English, I could only figure out who was speaking based on the fact that Legato used だ where Wolfwood would’ve used や

Lol jump for your coin bitch (Vash I love you but it’s funny I’m sorry)

Wolfwood’s 「ちう」is causing me so much stress. What the hell does that mean, boy. Luckily I have friends in high places (Japan)

I’m so obsessed with the fucked up angel imagery here in Knives’ rebirth

Please no romance between Meryl and Vash please no romance between Meryl and Vash please no r

Guy who only reads shoujo manga: I’m getting a lot of shoujo manga vibes from this (no but really, there’s a bunch of artistic choices in Trigun that I mostly associate with shoujo manga, but I think it has more to do with the age of the manga. Probably Ikeda Riyoko’s influence)

Knives is such an overdramatic bitch, I love that

Angel Vash! The inherent danger of the divine! Although a god can be kind it can also be cruel! Power can be used in many ways and thus is its danger!

We’ve finally established that Vash and this power that Knives brings out of him is the reason why July Town was destroyed. This is probably also the reason why he’s got such a high price on his head

Also really enjoying the implications that these human forms aren’t Vash’s and Knives’ “true” bodies

Extra chapter. Thank god he didn’t shoot the egg oh my god. The irony of consistently taking the lord’s name in vain so much here (term used ironically but also because what else can I say) while reading Nightow’s bible fanfiction just now hit me

I admit it, I totally skimmed that. In my defense, it’s past midnight.

Final thoughts: Having officially finished up the original trilogy, that was pretty damn good! The ending was great (yes, I know there’s much more to go) and quite bittersweet. The pace really picked up for me in this last volume. My only main issue was just friction between me and the genre, which is no one’s fault but my own. I could definitely do for less action scenes, but again, my favorite genre is the “nothing happens” genre. I’m really excited to see where Trigun Maximum takes the series, especially in the ways that these angels/plants are developed. I’m also excited to see more of Knives and Wolfwood and especially how they both interact with Vash, since they obviously have extremely different perceptions of him. I’m not quite sure where the plot is going to go from here, since it seems like Vash took Knives along with him in his disappearance, but I’ll follow Nightow wherever he leads us in this series. What I’m not looking forward to is having to read more of Nightow’s handwriting. God. Even so, somehow it’s still not the worst I’ve seen from mangaka. Oh, also, there was significantly less of that black cat than I expected. I’ll just assume it comes back in Maximum. And (sorry these thoughts are so unordered) wow the art was so stunning, especially there at the end, that I definitely have half a mind to pick up the physicals for my personal collection. Especially with a fanbase revival due to Trigun Stampede, I’d be more shocked if it’s out of print than if it isn’t. Oh and one more thing, we went through three of the twelve coin assassins. Does that mean that we’re going to go through the other nine in Maximum? Also, I’m not quite clear on why Vash has to collect the coin fragments like this is Dragon Ball (disclaimer: never seen or read any of the dragon ball franchise). Was mystical object collection just a trend back then? What’s going to happen, or supposed to, when Vash gets them all? Hopefully this will become clear as the series continues.

#trigun #trigunbookclub #i wanted to make today #as in the day i finished this #a day for finishing all the manga volumes im currently reading #but yeah that didnt happen #後でね～

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biobugz · 2 years

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From what I've seen it looks the the majority of RWBY fans on here don't know anything about Paladins, so as someone who plays the game I'd like to inform you that there's actually some kinda funny stuff with regards to the specific Champions that got skins for the crossover. And also that there might be some really cool concepts with how they might make Team RWBY perform all the abilities that the Champions do

Starting with Ruby, she's going to be a skin for Vora, and uh

I'm sure you can already see that there's some... Differences in the two's vibes. Gameplay-wise, Vora is a perfect fit for Ruby, as she is a highly mobile, scythe-wielding Flank Champion, who specializes in getting into the enemy backline to pick off a key target before quickly getting back out.

Personality-wise, though? The two couldn't be any more different, as Vora is the LITERAL HARBINGER OF THE APOCALYPSE WHO SERVES A TERRIFYING WORLD-EATING WORM!!!

her name is Yagorath and she's my personal favorite character to play

This will lead to some interesting results in terms of Ruby/Vora's animations, like with this emote:

(slight blood warning. It's only a little bit, this game is rated Teen, but scroll past the gif if you can't stand blood at all)

basically Ruby has finally gotten tired of being nice in Paladins and has chosen to go apeshit, which I think she's earned tbh

And aside from animations, skins in Paladins are technically split into two parts, the voice pack(which has all the voicelines) and the actual skin itself. This is important because Paladins lets you mix and match voice packs and skins, meaning we can give Ruby Vora's default voice pack, which leads to Ruby being able to say things like "ARMAGEDDON APPROACHES!", which I personally find very amusing. This is the case with all the others as well, but I personally find the extreme difference in personalites with this one to be funnier than the other ones.

Next up is Weiss, who is going to be a skin for Furia, the Angel of Vengeance

The differences between Weiss and Furia aren't quite as drastic as Ruby and Vora (Furia is still good-aligned... Mostly), so I don't think it's worth talking about that much. Mostly I want to focus on the abilities because there's potentially some really cool ideas for how they'd get Weiss to do the things that Furia does

Mainly, it's the wings. There isn't a single Furia skin in the game that doesn't have them, because they are a massive part of her in-game animations and visual effects, and I'm fairly certain that they're a part of her hitbox, so they can't really be removed without affecting game balance. My personal hope is that Weiss will be using her Summoning to give herself Nevermore wings, which is SUCH A COOL CONCEPT OH MY GOD! I've seen a lot of fanart depicting Weiss using her summoning on herself, like with the Arma Gigas armor/sword, and there's a possibility we could actually see that in this game and I'm really excited to see if that's the route they go with.

The only other thing really of note is that Furia is actually one of the taller women in the game, being roughly 5'6" in-game, which is significantly taller than Weiss's actual height. She's back to being taller than Ruby(and by a long shot, Vora's model is really short in-game), and I'm pretty sure this means she's actually taller than Blake in Paladins (although don't quote me on that one, I don't remember how tall Saati is in-game), and nearly the same height as Yang, though Yang's still got her beat by like an inch. Tall Weiss is real and she will hurt you.

Oh also one of her abilities is literally summoning a giant laser beam that scorches her enemies so there's that. Arsonist Weiss representation, I guess.

Next is Blake, who I don't really have much to say about, unfortunately. She's going to be a skin for Saati, the Trickshot.

Unfortunately there's not too much of note to talk about here. Her abilities all mostly fit fine, even being able to put up decoys of herself while turning invisible. Only thing really worth talking about is that her gun isn't a low caliber pistol like what Gambol Shroud seems to be, instead being closer to a Desert Eagle. Blake's got a big beefy gun now.

Saati's also a canonical lesbian so there's that too I guess? Idk not much else to say.

Finally there's Yang, who's going to be a skin for Imani, the Last Warder

a Warder in Paladins lore is someone with the ability to control a dragon

Right of the bat, HOLY FUCK YANG'S GONNA HAVE A GIANT DRAGON NOW!!! Imani's ultimate has her summoning her dragon to burn her enemies to a crisp, and I CANNOT wait to see Yang's version of this in-game.

The other notable thing about Imani is that she doesn't just use fire magic, instead she's able to manually switch between two different "stances", each with there own element. The first, obviously, is fire, but the second stance...

Is ice. Not only does Yang have a giant fucking DRAGON now, she's also stolen Weiss's schtick and can control ice magic now.

Freezerburn crumbs, anyone? Or mayhaps Spring Maiden!Yang crumbs? Both? You decide.

We don't know which Champion Salem is going to be a skin for, so I won't talk about her. There's going to be a Twitch stream at 12 PM ET tomorrow that will go more in-depth with what all will be in this crossover, so tune into that if you're interested. Also consider giving Paladins a shot if you're into multiplayer games, it's free to play, it's on pretty much every system, and pretty fun in my personal opinion. Would especially recommend if you were into Overwatch back in the day, the two games are pretty similar.

Also bonus fun fact that I couldn't really fit anywhere else, both Paladins and RWBY feature a shattered moon as a prominent plot point. Insert Doofenshmirtz "if I had a nickel" meme here.

#rwby #paladins game #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #long post #blood #i guess

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benmcm18 · 2 years

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What I have been up to...

Cannot lie, this semester I have been more focused on establishing myself after University. The fear of not having a job doing filming makes me really sad. So I went off! And did some jobs in filming :)

Other Projects

The Last Landscape

Role - 1st AC

My thoughts

Originally being the story I wanted to adapt, I begged Orla to let me come on set to help out any way I could. The script by Bonnie is genuinely impressive and knowing many people in the group who are all fantastically talented in their own way made me want to be involved in this project.

The way they pitched the film's visuals and pacing excited me as these are the kinds of films I am beginning to enjoy making. Whilst, I do feel I would have lent more into the long takes of sitting and watching the illness consume Milly I was inspired by Eva’s cinematography. I learned so much by working under her leadership. I feel the camera limited her as she had so many practical ideas and if she had a more lightweight and modern camera she could have worked so much more fluently (Not that she didn’t work fluently haha) I really want to work with her again but in a more involved creative role, possibly directing her as I feel we would easily be able to bounce ideas off one another.

This shoot was smooth and flawless from my perspective. I feel Katie Cox learned a lot as a director and believe if she is just a little more assertive and knowledgeable about practises then she could go so far. What makes her unique for me is that she is not this large presence on set, she does not make herself particularly known but she makes the space so comfortable to work in, she is always there for people and is always open for ideas or suggestions. I can’t wait to work with her again.

I felt bad for ruining their all-girl group but that makes me even more proud to be a part of it. I’m so thankful that they let me be on the project, I’ve always said Bonnie is a talented writer and I feel this proves it once again. Getting to work with Orla again was a joy as she is a very talented sound recordist I can’t wait to see what she does with the sound design. I didn’t get to see Aimee that much but she did a fantastic job with costume and production design and Beth… I believe this image depicts how hard she was working.

Thank you all for letting me be a part of it. You don’t know how much it truly means :)

The Cop & the Anthem

Role - Extra

My thoughts

Originally wanting to play the main character of this project, I loved the character's arc and thought it was a solid representation of a well written and simple story being adapted. Even though I did not play the main protagonist it was still very kind to be given a role as an extra.

From the (VERY LITTLE) Time I spent on set it was clear everyone had fit into their roles well. It was interesting seeing Eilis and Sam on another set and caused me to reminisce about COTL. Focusing more on the shoot, I like how hands-on Alex is with directing. I believe that through his experience acting her understands actors better than most directors and I believe will aid him well in trying to get this almost Chaplin like character to appear over-emphasised on screen. The film feels very much like a comedy and I think Alex’s directing style will help this a lot.

Conscience in Art

Role - Barry (Security Guard)

My thoughts

Another very small time was spent on this set. The scene was fun and it lets me live out my Guy Ritchie fantasy. I know Jack and Ben joked about this film having a similar vibe to a previous project of mine but it is kind of mad how similar they feel. The two main protagonists are acted by the same actors. It feels like a more professional and higher budget Scruff or The Elaborate Planning and Robbery of The Paradise Theatre. Do not worry though I understand they are very different projects. I was somewhat confused by everyone’s roles on the project. Whilst, their production ran as smooth as butter there were times when I got a little confused. However, the cinematography looks amazing from the scene I was in and the direction was light and helpful by Jack. I think they are going to have a fantastic film that not a lot of people will see coming.

Party Animals

Role - 1st AD

My thoughts

This was a bizarre experience. Getting the chance to Assistant Direct a Graduation project is something I do not get to do every day. I just want to say the experience was made a lot less stressful with Orla being the Sound recordist on set. Seeing a familiar face I could rely on really put my nerves to rest.

This film was sold to me as a mumble-core/realist/Ken Loach style film that had a lot of improvisation within the scenes. The director was clearly incredibly passionate about his vision and this is clear in how serious he took every moment on set. In some scenes he would get lost in the world he created and that passion is very inspiring.

The Producer is a Gem and one of the kindest men I have ever met. He didn’t usually produce so I’m not sure how he ended up in that role but he handled it well and gave me plenty of freedom so I appreciate that.

Cinematography confused me but came together on the final day. There were scenes where I would be composing the shot and operating the camera as I had the most experience with it. Do not get me wrong I loved both camera dudes and think they are incredibly hard-working and did a great job but this slides nicely into my next point.

Not to toot my own horn but I was shocked at how similar I was to their level of work. I ended up doing several roles as people were not there or weren’t sure how to operate certain things. I learned so much from these talented people but it also reassured me of my progress on this course. I’m not doing as bad as I think I am sometimes.

Thank you for letting me be a part of this project, it was a tough shoot but I learned so much and met so many new friends.

Music Video

Role - Production Assistant

My thoughts

This shoot was a long time ago. Reflecting on it now has been tough but there is so much clarity from the months that have passed. My role was to basically prepare food and not kill anyone with Oreos. I think I handled this well. I assisted the production where I could and met so many new friends. There are so many people I cannot wait to work with again.

Freelance Photography and Videography

Role - Photographer and Videographer

My thoughts

This is very new to me. To summarise, I’ve basically been travelling around the lower have of Scotland with the 20-something-year-old man who loves gaffs and we have been taking photos. Going to different businesses I have been able to explode the range of my portfolio and make money to pay rent. I want to start looking to possibly do this freelance by myself now as I think that is the natural best step but have been looking at a job in their agency as the man I’ve been travelling around Scotland with, has a clearly very relaxed job that pays well.

Hehe TONUGHT hehe

Online Editing

Role - Editor

My thoughts

Another money-making scheme I have somehow ended up doing so I don’t starve. I currently edit 3 videos a week for a YouTuber/twitch streamer, creating content for his YouTube Channel, Instagram and TikTok. It’s kind of depressing as the videos are copy and paste meaningless montages that I can put together in a few hours but at least it is an area I am intrigued by. I feel that if he paid me more so that I could make more time to edit his videos then he would get much more creative edits and I would be more enthusiastic about the projects he gives me.

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steveskafte · 6 months

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EVIDENCE IN YOURSELF It's so hard to admit you're passionate when you're shy. Too often in this culture, we believe that those who feel most deeply are the loudest ones about it. As a kid, being an introvert wasn't exactly a choice – I was just too awkward around people to be anything else. But I remember seeing examples of heartfelt humans, most in books or on the screen, and knowing that it was something meant for me. There's an emotional connection in observing who you'd like to be, a sudden and obvious awareness despite the evidence in yourself. I remember watching movies with a strong romantic element, an intense passion depicted between a man and a woman, and feeling like it was an ideal I could live up to. Turned out much harder in practice. When I was nineteen, I had a short-lived engagement to a girl (let's call her Celia) who was just as shy as me. Truth be told, I never felt much attraction for her. But she was a good friend, and I'd spent my teenage years single – slowly wondering if my childhood dreams of romance were childish after all. It only took a few months to see how the relationship was a chore. I never got excited about spending time together, didn't feel much when I looked in her eyes, and the thrill of conversation never seemed to materialize. In short, we weren't in love. You'd think that'd be easy to recognize, but when everyone in your life seems stuck in shallow attraction or locked in monogamist apathy, who's your example for falling in love? We broke up just before Christmas 2006, a little negative present to end the year. When I was single again, I thought back to fictional romance as an example. Even if those stories were all an illusion, I chose to chase that level of intensity, or remain alone indefinitely. So I spent the next few years trying to be a more genuine version of myself, aiming to get what was inside of me out. I started writing, and bought my first camera, then began this daily journal in the fall of 2007. My main resolution was to look at myself more honestly. What did I hate most? Self-portraits, my image in the mirror. So I made it a goal that at least one of my daily photos would feature me in some way. The hardest thing to overcome was disinterest in myself. In short, I was aiming at becoming the sort of person I'd admired on the male side of imaginary relationships. Now, I don't believe for a second that people are meant for each other. But it didn't take much time to recognize Susy when she showed up. We met through my poetry online, in the early days of 2009, and quickly started messaging daily. Our first phone conversations went so long and late than we'd had less than a dozen before they eclipsed the entirety of my verbal interaction with Celia. Every time she picked up the line, it felt like that buzzing you get just after your ears pop at altitude, light-headed and suddenly focused. Susy was outgoing, extroverted, and so full of heart that it almost scared me. The next year-and-a-half seemed like a build-up to the exact kind of hope a much younger and quieter version of me has once held close. Susy landed at the Halifax airport in the summer of 2010. Everything was electric with her on that first visit, from spinning in the darkness under starlight to climbing waterfalls in the blinding sun. Even though I'd seen her in photos and brief videos, the very last step in falling for her was visual. Sight and touch meant a lot, but her voice came first. All these years later, from our wedding here on through, I still feel that heavy hiccup of being next to the one I love the most. There's no fading novelty. She's the presence I imagined, but better in every sense. Not at all what I thought, nothing that I planned, like the puzzle piece discovered sideways and upside-down – still the perfect fit once you get it all straight. It's important for you to understand that Susy is why I'm still writing now. She made me brave by believing. If one dream can come true, why not another? October 31, 2023 Avonport, Nova Scotia Year 16, Day 5833 of my daily journal.

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greatrunner · 7 months

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I watched Black Adam last night with my Mom. My lil sister recommended I give it a try a couple months ago, but I wasn't too keen on resubbing to HBO Max any time soon (also, I was broke). Happened upon it by accident on said lil sister's Amazon Prime account, and just decided to give a looksee.

As a Rock enthusiast (still), she had quite the time watching it front-to-back. She even got excited over the prospect of Superman vs. Black Adam (lmao).

All things considered, I had a lot of fun watching it. I honestly think this might be my favorite iteration of the Justice Society. It was a bunch of actors I wouldn't have picked for the team, but their chemistry worked. Cyclone's hair doing a Chaka Khan when she powers up gave me a good giggle (even with the very obvious CGI, I thought her power-up effect was nice). I didn't even mind the guy Netflix kept trying to make a thing as Atom Smasher.

Aldis Hodge and Pierce Brosnan definitely had the best dynamic as Carter Hall and Dr. Fate (Kent Nelson). My sister was like, "Clearly those two were boyfriends or something" (and I was like, "clearly they're ride or die bros"). I'd honestly want to see this group again in another film.

There's a lot about Black Adam as a character that I don't like. A lot of the building blocks around the character feel dated (or anachronistic) with its depiction of what I can only describe as "Vaguely Middle East location with actors and characters styled visually to invoke said vibes". It was hard to ignore that shit in a game like Injustice 2. If this movie came out in the 90s no one would really question it.

It's something better suited to a Roland Emmerich movie, or something. And someone clearly, really enjoyed The Crow, but that's all I thought about whenever I saw the kid on the skateboard listening to Smashing Pumpkins. (The music choices in this movie were odd all 'round if we're being honest.)

It wants to do what Blue Beetle ends up doing with its storyline via Carapax (School of the Americas, genocide) and Palmera City (gentrification, dislocation of communities), but with the story couched in a completely fictional space, there's no real heat behind folks in kahndaq criticizing the Justice Society for barging in like the US Military (or Cops, really) and declaring themselves "heroes" and Black Adam a "villain". It doesn't help that most of the baddies in the film are off-color Brits or someone distant enough from the US that the commentary really doesn't land where it needs to.

I like the idea behind backstory behind Black Adam. Again, it felt Roland-esque, but as far as superhero origins go, it would chew. I definitely feel like we got the short end of the stick by having the movie focus on the vengeful father instead of the his son (Hurut).

Like, you've got this kid, who like other kid in Shazam!, is given the power to stop the literal oppression of his people. He does it, only to find his family slaughtered. It's not that Vengeful Dad is necessarily a bad idea (or that it doesn't work for the film), but I think there might've been more weight behind the son becoming vengeful (or not) and imprisoned instead.

If I had one complaint about the movie, it's that it didn't need ugly CGI red guy as an antagonist. Black Adam was doing enough antagonizing for everybody to carry the whole movie and keep it personal. The family that defends Black Adam also really doesn't get much out of the story. They're just his cheerleaders.

The Rock, as far as his performance goes, isn't doing anything new. He knows how to play an asshole, when to play to comedic bits, and when to tone it down. He had an otherwise workable dynamic with the rest of the cast, but nothing the film used to its advantage. There's the implication that he doesn't have proper control over his powers, or doesn't want to control his powers, but the film barely investigates that. And I wish they had done more with that.

#greatrunners meta #black adam 2022 #black adam #carter hall #long post #aldis hodge #dc comics #pierce brosnan

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lonesomedreamer · 8 months

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SNW Liveblog: “Spock Amok”

Vulcan! I’m always excited to see Vulcan.

Oh, this is a dream. Got it. Also, Ethan looks kind of hot as “human” Spock.

So in Spock’s dream, his human and Vulcan halves are embodied by two separate people who must to fight to the death (over T’Pring)…what a heavy-handed, very literal way to represent his insecurities.

lmfao @ this space station—I get updating certain designs now that they have the budget and technology to do so, but there’s no way they had this kind of tech in the 23rd century (as it was depicted in TOS), even in a slightly alternate timeline…

“I plan to spend most of my time here with my fiancee, T’Pring.” Going to grit my teeth and ENDURE this. Reluctantly.

Spock’s quarters are, like Pike’s, ENORMOUS. He isn’t even the first officer, why are they so big…???

They’re also boring af compared to the way he had his cabin done up in TOS with the red wall-hangings and such. I do appreciate the little grate in the right corner, an obvious nod to the TOS design (albeit a tiny one).

No, please, don’t kiss. Really. (They do, of course.)

Apparently Spock is “redecorating.” There are splashes of red on some of the walls, so I guess that’s as close as I’m going to get to the og design?

T’Pring is, appropriately, a bitch.

The new design of the famous green tunic shirt is horrendous. It’s not my favorite look on Kirk—I’m a boring, standard-issue gold shirt girlie—but Shatner pulls it off. This one doesn’t even fit Pike properly, looks like it’s made of pleather, and any skin it’s supposed to show is covered by a black undershirt. It’s a no from me.

And so far, Pike strikes me as a pretty bad diplomat. I’m sure the show obviously wants me to think he’s an exemplary one—if so, give me some proof to back it up!

Once again, nothing about these civilian clothes is a) going to age any better than the mod 60s-inspired designs of TOS did or b) visually appealing/interesting even right now.

“They don’t shore leave. They shore stay.” This DIALOGUE. I don’t know if I can handle another 15 episodes of this.

I’m unsure how I feel about them giving T’Pring genuine grievances In her relationship with Spock, like him having to work late when they’re supposed to meet for dinner. On one hand, it does seem more realistic than the reasons she gave in TOS…but doesn’t that then imply that her ultimate decision to leave Spock is based on emotion? (It’s already based on emotion in a way, of course—that emotion being affection/lust for another man.) What’s more, I’m not sure it NEEDS to be realistic. T’Pring is not a nice person, maybe not even an ethical person…and that’s fine. We’re talking about the woman who was totally willing to let a total stranger die just because she didn’t want to marry him. Female characters don’t have to be nice and good to have worth. I don’t like T’Pring, but female characters don’t have to be likable, either!

It makes so little sense, because SNW’s T’Pring is both prejudice and emotionally abusive anyway! Her telling Spock that she’s concerned that he’s becoming more human due to his Starfleet career is appropriate for her character and also cruel of her. Which is, again, appropriate.

Y es! More of this, please! (Preferably with better lighting…but beggars can’t be choosers.)

While I’m all for erasing Roger Korby, I don’t know that replacing Christine’s fiance with Random Redshirt #6 is a great choice. Can’t a girl just be single? Especially since said Random Redshirt is the total opposite of Spock, with whom she was already flirting back in Episode 1.

Wow, they let La’an have some personality in this scene. Granted, her personality is defined by cynicism and misanthropy…but I’m shocked!

However, that somewhat pointless Number One/La’an scene interrupted the first real Spockstine scene (aka the reason I’m watching) of the ENTIRE series. Rude!

@deeneedsaname Girl, where are you when I need you?? It’s finally happening!

“You’re clearly an extraordinarily intelligent person. But you’re also an idiot.” Once again, file under: things Christine would never say (*to Spock. Maybe to Bones or another crewman. But not to Spock.)

“That is not a human gesture I am familiar with.” Like hell it isn’t, Spock darling. As if Amanda wouldn’t gently (or, sometimes, not so gently) smack some sense into Sarek…or even into Spock, as the case may be.

“That’s what being in a relationship is. It’s mutual sacrifice. Pretty much why I avoid them.” I like the callback to what T’Pring said earlier—HOWEVER, Christine Chapel is, canonically, the literal queen of (not-so-mutual) sacrifice for a relationship! She changed careers and signed aboard a galaxy-wide exploratory mission to find her missing fiance!!! You don’t even have to keep Korby’s character to maintain that (essential, imo) element of her character…?

“An incompatible mate.” Oof, that word choice.

As fervently as I ship this…when did Christine and Spock become close enough for Spock to feel comfortable discussing his dreams with her over a private dinner? Did I somehow miss that scene in a previous episode???

I do, however, love that this is an allusion to the scene in “Amok Time” where Spock tells Christine that he’s been dreaming about her.

I-Chaya reference!

“What are friends for?” I’m choosing to believe this is also a deliberate allusion to the exchange between Kirk and Bones in Search for Spock. <3

Cute! They’re cute!!!

“A Vulcan soul-sharing?” It’s called a mind meld, girl. Also, good thing she consents, since that’s a huge component of Vulcan marriage, and she already asked him to marry her…?

Bodyswap shenanigans…so, they’re ripping off another (serious/tragic) TOS episode this week for shits and giggles? I’m far from opposed to light-hearted or filler episodes (who doesn’t love Tribbles and “A Piece of the Action”?!) but it’s a lot harder to pull off with 10-episode seasons and questionable script quality.

“Spock, I do not like hijinks.” File under: things T’Pring, or any other Vulcan, would never say.

Spock had to perform a mind-meld with Kirk while he occupied Janice Lester’s body before he really believed that their minds had been switched. But with an important diplomatic mission on the line, Pike’s just going to take Spock and T’Pring’s story at face value without any actual evidence…?

Speaking of…how the hell do they already know about tribbles?! Also, I’m skipping every scene of this comedy subplot. Apparently I, too, hate fun.

Pike has some kind, eloquent things to say about Spock. Fanservice!

Who knew that male-pattern baldness was also a thing on Vulcan…

Everybody Except T’Pring Loves Spock: The Episode (TSFS was Everybody Loves Spock: The Film) <3

“Humans evolved from apes, did they not?” a) No, humans evolved alongside apes—and we are, in fact, considered apes ourselves; and b) logic dictates that Vulcans must have evolved from something, too, buddy!

Spock being defensive of Christine! Spock punching a guy for insulting Christine!!! We love to see it. (I saw someone claim that this was Spock being defensive of himself, but it’s definitely his repeated comments about Christine that trigger Spock’s reaction.

So the thing that even a high Vulcan priestess doubted could be done/was purely a thing of legend (katra being transferred between bodies by a third party) is actually standard medical procedure that can be performed with ease in the Enterprise Sickbay? Don’t tell Kirk and Bones…

“You know you can call me Christine.” Another nice allusion to their scene from “Amok Time”.

“Vulcans cannot lie. At least not in the way that humans can.” He’s such a liar, actually, and we love him.

Ethan and T’Pring’s have so little chemistry, whereas he and Jess have SO MUCH of it.

Things I don’t want: Spock and T’Pring having sex. Spock and T’Pring cuddling after sex. Who asked for this!?!!? The Spirk shippers? The Spockstine shippers?? No! No one did! Besides, love triangles are boring.

She’s gorgeous, tho.

The Good: Some wonderful moments between Spock and Christine (finally!), including references to their most electric scene in TOS—Ethan and Jess’s chemistry—Pike expressing Spock’s value as a person and an officer and, by extension, the value/ideals of the Federation—Spock expressing why he needs/feels at home in Starfleet.

The Bad: Cringe dialogue continues to plague this show—almost all the Spock/T’Pring stuff—the entire body-swapping subplot—the (unfunny) comedy subplot feat. Number One and La’an—that UGLY rendition of the green tunic!

The real reason I’m watching SNW has taken center stage at last…or is at least stepping into the light! This was a lackluster and in many ways an unserious episode that nevertheless offered up a few gems, perhaps to make up for the fact that Spock and T’Pring actually have sex…thanks for that, Kurtzman! /s

#luth liveblogs snw

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alexsfictionaddiction · 1 year

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Review: Alice Éclair, Spy Extraordinaire! A Spoonful of Spying by Sarah Todd Taylor

I really enjoyed the first book in this action-packed adventure series and I was really excited to see what Alice would get up to next in her double-life as a baker and spy.

The World Fair has come to Paris and Alice suspects that France’s greatest flying machines may be a target for her enemies. But no one will listen to a young baker. So, Alice must use all her espionage tricks to keep her new friends safe and uncover the dark plot that is haunting the Fair.

The illustration of Alice running through Paris between each chapter was a literal depiction of the flow of the book and I really enjoyed it. I think I’d have liked some more illustrations throughout the book because there are some very visual themes in the book (baking, fashion, the World Fair) but the writing did a good job of painting these pictures.

As someone who has been to Paris a few times, I really enjoyed walking through its streets while it was decorated for the World Fair. The author conjures such vivid, colourful images of the city and I really enjoyed following Alice through it.

One of my favourite things in the first book was the gorgeous, detailed descriptions of Alice’s bakes and it was still present in the sequel. Sarah Todd Taylor’s writing appeals to every sense and you can’t help but become thoroughly immersed in the delicious smells and tastes. A word of warning: these books will make you hungry!

Alice’s mentor Claude holds all of the usual misogynistic views of 19th century men and Alice challenges him on it. Although it’s her secret career, Alice takes spying very seriously and she isn’t prepared to be distracted by trivial matters. I really enjoyed that we got to see more of Alice’s feisty side in this book and I hope that continues in future adventures.

This instalment was also full of strong, smart girls and I loved it. Collectively, they stopped complete disaster from happening and I’m still not sure what Claude (or any other man) was doing throughout the whole thing! The sisterhood was really strong in this story and I finished it feeling very empowered.

The Alice Éclair books are packed full of madcap adventure, bright evocative imagery and loveable, charming characters and friendships. They are perfect for fans of Robin Stevens and young readers who are looking for a unique spy story.

#alice eclair spy extraordinaire a spoonful of spying #sarah todd taylor #middle-grade #book review #review #books #bookworm

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christian-perspectives · 1 year

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Baby Jesus was Born In A Stable

Every December we decorate for and celebrate Christmas. For the world, it’s gift-giving time. For the Christian, the gift of God was given. This gift given to the whole world was the baby Jesus who was born in a stable. She gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them. Luke 2:7 We have plenty of visuals depicting the scene of the night Jesus was born. The most common model of the Nativity is the old wooden barn look. The with Mary kneeling and Joseph standing. Baby Jesus is laying in a feed trough with animals and shepherds looking on. Why were they there? The King James Version says that there was no room for them in the inn. I have written a children’s illustrated book called Twas the Night of Christmas. In this part of the story, the innkeeper is saying, “We have no room I said with a grin. Outback there’s a stable, it’s behind the inn.” It isn’t the purpose of this writing to establish what the scenery of that night looked like. What we do know about the birth of is Jesus this. The King of kings and the Lord of lords was laid in a manger. One that was probably used just a few hours earlier to feed animals. Jesus did not wear a newborn outfit. Our verse for today says he was wrapped with strips of cloth. Also if there were baby bottles, they were only used by the wealthy.

The Angel Spoke About when Baby Jesus was Born

Nine months earlier an angel spoke to Mary and then to Joseph individually. He revealed that what the Prophet Isaiah had written years earlier was being fulfilled. All right then, the Lord himself will give you the sign. Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means ‘God is with us’). Isaiah 7:14 Joseph took an expecting Mary, 90 miles, on foot to the city of David which is Bethlehem. In her condition, it could have taken a week or better. It was this city that was prophesied by Micah as the birthplace of this ruler. But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, are only a small village among all the people of Judah. Yet a ruler of Israel, whose origins are in the distant past, will come from you on my behalf. Micah 5:2 Maybe you’re wondering, this all very interesting but how does this relate to us? Let’s stop to think about this whole story. Mary was pregnant out of wedlock. Joseph understood why, but did anyone else? When they got to their destination no one seemed to care. Everything going on with them seemed insignificant to others. The Time Had Come For The Baby Jesus To Be Born She was having labor pains and they were ushered into a stable. Where was God? Where was the angel? Nobody knew the importance of this child. He was Immanuel– ‘God with us.’ And there they were all alone. Or so it seemed.

How Do Others See Your Ministry

When God calls us to do a task for Him. We get excited, just like I’m sure Joseph and Mary were. As we prepare the excitement builds. Yet to everyone else, they appease us and say things like “that’s nice.” It happened to us. My wife and I were called into children’s evangelism. With excitement, we prepared for a year gathering equipment and scheduling. We received very little encouragement from our church family but experienced plenty of Job’s comforters. I can identify what was going on with Mary and Joseph. I want to encourage you to step out when God calls you just like they did. Just like we did. Others might see what you’re doing as insignificant, but you know and I know that it isn’t. Any calling of God is important and God is always there. It might not feel like it at times, but He will never leave you. He never left Joseph and Mary by themselves. Lord, there are times when we feel our ministry is not as important as someone else’s. Help us to get past those feeling as we trust you to help us do our very best. And Thank you Lord that Baby Jesus was born on Christmas Day. Check out this related post called Enjoying The Benefits Of Living A Godly Life. You can find this part of the Christmas story in Luke 2. Read the Entire Christmas Story - Live A Lifetime Of Faith The Same Way Mary Did - Live A Unique Life Of Obedience To The Lord - The New Baby Jesus was Born In A Stable - Angels Announced Good News Of Great Joy To The World - The Shepherds' Story Was Remarkably Astonishing - How Can A Star Pinpoint Something On The Earth? - What Valuable Gift Will You Offer To The Lord? To receive each new devotional post delivered to your inbox, subscribe below by giving us your first name and email address. Read the full article

#BibleStudy #Christmas #Devotions #Luke

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marmixedwithabitofintellect · 2 years

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The Story of You

Hi my friends! We are back on track! I am so excited to pick up where we left off, we have still a lot of mysteries to unfold! I hope you enjoy this new part, come and talk to me about what you think, it really makes me happy to have your feedback :) All the love, Mar

Disclaimer: In no way do I wish to spread hate or negative opinions about any of the characters here depicted, this is just fiction and with the purpose of entertaining you guys

Click on the visuals to enhance your reading experience!

Part 11: Love on Tour

September 2, 2021: Week Twenty-Six

New York City, New York. 7:30 PM

I hated packing; I really did. And now that I’m pregnant is even worse because I had to pack at least two outfit options and depending on my hormones and body temperature see what I should wear.

Glenne had been kind enough to FaceTime me and help me choose what I should pack, “Babe that outfit for Vegas is bomb”, I laughed, “Well I do look like a bomb that will be detonated soon so I think it it’s very accurate”, we both laughed

“I am not saying this because you are my friend, I am saying this because it’s the truth, you are literally one of the hottest mom-to-be I have met, that belly of yours is so beautiful and I hope that I can look half as good as you do when I have a baby”

“You don’t need to sweet talk me into going, I’m flying there tomorrow”, we both laughed, “So, everything okay between you too?”, I sighed, “I mean, as good as they can get, but we have both agreed that this baby goes first and everything else goes second”

“I know things will work out, and in the end, everything will be okay”, I smiled a little and turned to look at the time, “Well as much as I love talking to you, I shall let you go, have to finish packing and sleep so that I can get to the airport on time, are you still picking me up?”

“Of course I am, with a big batch of your favorite cookies and a lot of cuddles for the belly” we both laughed, “I’ll text you everything, love you G”, “I love you more baby mama!” we hung up and I plugged in my computer to charge, I looked around and figured out that everything was packed, I closed my suitcase and placed it near the door.

I decided to take a shower and had some leftovers for dinner, I then went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and as I was getting into bed, I got a text message

From H. Styles (9:00 PM): Hello love, you all set? I cannot wait to see you both

To H. Styles (9:15 PM): Hi! We are all set, just getting into bed so that we can be very energetic tomorrow

From H. Styles (9:15 PM): Rest well love, we’ll keep in touch and see you tomorrow

To H. Styles (9:15 PM): You too Harry

September 3, 2021: Week Twenty-Six

New York City, New York. 9:00 AM

The movement occurring in JFK would never not surprise me, I loved airports because it was the place that saw the most heartfelt goodbyes and happiest hellos, however I hated how many people also liked to have an early travel.

I had boarded already and was sitting waiting for the plane to finish, I put my headphones on and pressed shuffle play on my music, I smiled when the first song that started playing was “Golden”, I texted Glenne to let her know I was ready and then I texted a picture to Harry

To H. Styles (9:45 AM): [Attachment] We are all set and ready to go

From H. Styles (9:15 PM): Oh I cannot wait to see you! Have a safe flight!

I turned my phone onto airplane mode and settled into my seat, the flight crew went through all the safety procedures, and we were now taking off and on our way to Vegas. I ate my breakfast because I was always hungry nowadays and then took a nap, I woke up just a few moments before we landed.

I got off the plane and then started making my way to the airport exit, I was thankful I had chosen to travel with a cabin suitcase and not a checked in bag, after exiting baggage claim I was about to call Glenne when I heard someone scream my name, I turned and found Jeff holding a few balloons and Glenne running to hug me.

She hugged me and we both started tearing up a little, “I have missed you baby mama”, “I have missed you too G”, she pulled a little back and she looked at my belly and turned to ask wordlessly if she could touch it which I nodded, “Little bean Auntie G has missed you too! You have grown so so much!”, she then grabbed my suitcase and we started making our way to Jeff

“Well hello there!”, I laughed and reached to hug him, “Hi Jeff, thank you for coming to pick me up”, “It was no problem, we are so happy to have you here”, we then started making our way to the van that was waiting for us and to the hotel.

About 10 minutes later we had arrived, Jeff made his way to the front desk to retrieve my key and we made our way into my room, they let me know we would see each other in a little while; the first thing I did was go to the bathroom because this baby was sitting on my bladder.

When I finished I washed my hands and started unpacking, as I was doing so I heard a knock on my door, went to open and I felt my heart start beating so loud, he looked so handsome and his smile was breathtaking

“H”

September 3, 2021: Week Twenty-Six

Harry. Las Vegas, Nevada. 12:00 PM

My anxiety was through the roof, Jeff had let me know they had already arrived at the hotel, and they had left her in her room a few minutes ago, Olivia was busy talking with her kids and I let her know that I would be going to see Y/N, which she still wasn’t happy she was here and had caused us to fight.

After closing the door to my room both Jeff and Glenne came out, they both smirked and I felt my cheeks redden, “I know I know”, Jeff spoke up, “We weren’t going to say anything, but she’s unpacking”, I smiled and waved to them and made my way to her room, I started counting the steps to her door and breathing.

I then knocked and when she opened the door my heart started beating even faster, she looked beautiful, “Hi”, she smiled, “Hi Harry, come in”, I nodded and she closed the door behind me, we both made our way to the little couch

“How was your flight?”, “Good, I slept most of the way, of course after eating because this baby has me eating everything”, we both laughed a little, I then turned to look at her belly, it had grown from the last time I had seen it, “Can I?”, she nodded, and I reached to place my hand on her belly

“Hi Bug, you have grown so much baby, are you still being stubborn and not letting us feel your kicks from the outside?”, “Oh yes, inside I feel them so much but not on the outside yet, stubborn like their dad”, “Hey that’s not nice”, she reached to squeeze my arm

“You ready for tomorrow?”, I took a deep breath, “It is surreal, just last year I thought this moment would never come and yet here we are”, I started tearing up, “I missed being on stage so much, it is my safe place and my fans, I really cannot wait to see them again”

She smiled and squeezed my arm, “You will do great”, we sat there quiet for a few moments until she spoke up, “Uhm, is there a dress code for your party tonight?”, “Hmm, not really, maybe a causal slash little bit formal?”, she nodded, “Harry I don’t want to be rude, but I am very tired and would love to rest a little before tonight”

My heart deflated a little but I knew I had to respect her wishes, “Yeah, no problem, uhm do you want me to come look for you before leaving for the party?”, “Actually, Glenne will come for me and we will go together, but I will see you there”, I nodded, we went to the door where we said out goodbyes and I returned to my room.

When I opened the door Olivia was sitting on the bed working on her computer, I knew she heard me walk in and was purposefully ignoring me, I sighed, “Are we really going to do this?”, she turned to look at me before returning her attention to her computer

“I have nothing to say to you Harry, I told you my feelings on the matter and you told me yours”, she continued to work for a few and I decided to take a shower, when I came out I was standing in the closet she reached to hug me from behind and kissed my back

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to fight anymore”, I sighed and reached to squeeze her hands that were around my waist, “Why can’t you trust me? I don’t know how else to reassure you that the only thing between her and I has to do with the baby?”

She pulled back a little before speaking, “Then why is she here? I mean I understand if you invite her to the New York dates, but why fly her out here?”, I pulled back a little and turned to look at her incredulously, “You do remember that she is friends with my band, don’t you? And if you must know, Sarah is the one who invited her”

She turned to look at me surprised and a little guilty, “So then why did you pay for her ticket?”, “Because she is pregnant with my child, so I need to see for both of their safety”, but deep down I knew it was more than that.

She pulled back and looked at the time, “We still have about four hours until your party, should we order something to eat and watch a movie?”, I nodded, she kissed the corner of my mouth and pulled back, I changed and reached her to see what we would order.

Las Vegas, Nevada. 5:10 PM

My alarm started ringing and I turned it off, wiped my eyes and sat up. After Harry left, I finished packing and ordered some light lunch and I decided to take a nap because this baby was making me very tired and I did want to enjoy seeing my friends tonight.

After taking a shower I opted for a fresher outfit and some light make up, and just as I was done I heard some knocking on my door, I went to open and there stood Glenne, “You look too hot mama!”, I laughed and reached for my phone, room key and face mask because we were still in a pandemic.

The ride on the elevator was quiet and anxious, there were so many people I hadn’t seen in a while and I wasn’t even sure if I would have a warm welcome; as if she could feel my anxiety Glenne reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze, “Hey, everything will be okay yeah?”, I smiled and nodded.

The elevator opened and we walked into a big rooftop, there were four long tables settled into a square, fairy lights were hung up all around, there was a bar on the far corner and next to it there was a buffet with hot plates waiting to be filled with food.

Jeff started making his was to us and he smiled, “Hey guys welcome! You can remove your masks if you feel comfortable doing so, we are still going to get tested tomorrow. Everyone should be here in the next five to ten minutes and Y/N, I did order some mocktails for you and Sarah”

I smiled, “Thank you Jeff, you are the best”, Glenne and him looked at each other apprehensively and then turned to look at me, “Is everything okay?”, Jeff sighed before turning to me, “I just wanted to thank you, I know this is not the best situation but he is happy to have you here, but please, if you want to go home tell us and we will help you”

I smiled and hugged them both, “Thank you”, we pulled back and when we did I heard the elevator open and I turned to see who was there, I could feel myself tear up when Sarah, Mitch and their little boy came out of the elevator, when Sarah noticed me she started running to hug me and I also ran to the best of my ability to meet her halfway.

When I hugged her I had to hold the tears that were threatening to fall, I really don’t know how long we stood there but when we pulled back and I saw that she had let a few tears fall I did too, Sarah reached to clean them and we went into another hug

“Oh I have missed you so so much, how are you?”, we pulled back a little but still kept each other at an arm’s length, “I have missed you too, I am okay, feeling very pregnant at the moment”, I smiled behind her when I saw Mitch reach us and he opened his arms to give me a hug

“Well hello stranger, I have missed you”, “Hi Mitch, I have missed you too”, I pulled back and Sarah pulled me to her side before speaking up, “There is someone else I want you to meet but they are very busy napping right now”, the three of us laughed before Mitch spoke up, “Speaking of, is there anyone else you would like for us to meet”, I smiled and Sarah beamed, “Come on show us the belly”

I pulled back from her and rubbed my belly and pulled back my dress so that my belly could be seen, Sarah looked at it and then at me asking for permission to rub it, I nodded and she did, and spoke up

“Oh my god, hello bean, I am your Auntie Sarah, I was so excited to meet you, I will be your adventure buddy and a shoulder to cry on, and we will have so much fun pranking your dad and mom, and your cousin is also so excited to meet you”

We were so into our conversation that we did not hear Harry make his way to us, “I hope you are not corrupting my child Sarah Jones”

Harry. Las Vegas, Nevada. 5:30 PM

Olivia and I were making our way to the party, when we got out of the elevator I greeted Jeff and Glenne, and just as I was about to ask if Y/N was here I could see Sarah and Mitch with her and I got a very warm feeling in me seeing my best friends finally meeting my baby.

We made our way to say hello when I heard Sarah talking to my baby about pranking me so I decided to make myself known, “I hope you are not corrupting my child Sarah Jones”, she turned to look at me and smiled, “Of course not H”, she then turned to Y/N’s belly again “Yes we will”

We all laughed and she pulled back, Olivia had her hand in mine and I squeezed it, Y/N was the first time to speak up, “Olivia hi, how are you? How are your kinds?”, she stood up straighter before answering, “Hi Y/N, I am okay thank you for asking, and the kids are well too”

“I am glad to hear so”, before I could speak up Nyoh made her way to Y/N to say hello, and Jeff pulled Olivia to help him with something, I was thankful because I knew this was not her favorite outcome.

While Nyoh said hello to Y/N, Eli, Niji and Pauli came and said hello to me and we made our way to Sarah, Mitch, Y/N and Nyoh so that I could introduce her to them, when they notice us they all stood up quiet and gave us some smiles

“Y/N I would love for you to meet our new band members, this is Elin, Niji and Pauli”, Y/N turned and gave them a warm smile, “Hi! It is so nice to meet you!”, she then reached to hug them, after doing so we went into a very comfortable conversation when I heard someone scream and we all turned to see Harry Lambert making our way to us.

Las Vegas, Nevada. 5:45 PM

I was talking to Pauli when I heard someone scream for me, I turned and found Harry Lambert making his way to me, I laughed and walked a little where we met for our hug, out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry reach with a weary face.

Harry L noticed to and chastised him, “Oh cut it out Sue I am careful with her especially since she has the most special cargo, can I say hello?”, I nodded, and he reached down to caress my belly and talk to my baby

“Well hello you, I am your uncle Harry Lambert, I am the fun Harry even if your dad says the contrary. I cannot wait to meet you and dress you like a little fashionista”, he then stood up and hug me to his side.

A few moments later they let us know that food was ready, I saw Harry making his way to me but before he could Sarah spoke up, “You will sit next to us right? We have still a lot to catch up on”, out of the corner of my eye I could see Harry was kind of upset, but I didn’t know why since his girlfriend was standing there next to him, we made our way to the table and sat down.

I was sitting between Sarah and Glenne, next to Sarah was Mitch, then there was Harry Lambert, Harry, Olivia, and Elin, just in front of me I was able to talk to Pauli and Niji. After we served our plates, we all started eating and continuing on our conversation.

Elin then turned to ask me, “Do you know what you are having?”, everyone turned to look at me and Harry, “No we don’t, we decided to keep it a surprise”, Glenne then chimed in, “Place your bets people”, everyone started laughing.

I could see Harry hugged Olivia and Glenne reached to squeeze my hand under the table, and as if he could sense the air was becoming tense Jeff asked everyone to share what they were most excited for.

Harry. Las Vegas, Nevada. 8:30 PM

I felt so happy to be able to celebrate this tour with my whole team and crew, my best friends, with the mother of my baby and my baby and of course girlfriend. I was just missing my family and my heart broke thinking that I didn’t know when they would be able to see me perform.

My heart felt so warm when we started talking about he or she, but I couldn’t let me indulge on that happiness very much because I saw how Olivia tensed at the mention of that, so I did the best thing that I could to reassure her, but the hug I gave her was not entirely welcome and only after a few she relaxed into it.

Just as Sarah was about to speak, little guy Rowland decided to wake up and I smiled when I saw the excitement on Y/N’s eyes to meet him, he truly was one of the most handsome babies I had met and I was so happy to be his godparent.

She sat with him on her arms and the thought of that being her in a few months made me so excited, but it also got me wondering, would I always be an outsider on their relationship? Even if we hadn’t discussed anything related to custody and visiting arrangements, I knew it was a conversation to be had sooner rather than later. But still, I held hope that things may be different.

It was around eleven thirty when we all made our way back into our rooms, everyone had said goodnight, the last to leave were Jeff, Harry Lambert and I, on the elevator ride silence was broken after a few seconds, “I saw you Sue”, Jeff and I turned to look at him, “What do you mean?”, “That look of pride and excitement for your baby, it makes me happy for you”

I smiled and squeezed his arm, we said our goodbyes and each of us went into our room, Olivia was just getting out of the bathroom and I reached in for a hug and a kiss, which she gave me gladly, she then made her way to the room and I to the bathroom.

September 4, 2021: Week Twenty-Six

Las Vegas, Nevada. 11:00 AM

Hi lovebug! I apologize because I know I have slacked a little on my writing for you, but I promise we are on track again! At twenty-six weeks you are now the size of an acorn squash! You are getting so big my love and my heart is full thinking that I will almost meet you. We are now in Las Vegas, Nevada because your Auntie Sarah asked us to come see her perform again with your daddy; she is very excited to meet you and so is your cousin and your Uncle Mitch; your Uncle Harry Lambert has also made sure that you remember that he is the fun Harry (although I’m sure your dad will make sure you know that is not true). We also let everyone know that we will not find out if you are a boy or a girl until you decide to come see us and bets are starting to be made! Daddy is very happy to be performing for you for the first time even if you are still inside of my belly, he is also hoping that you may give him some feedback (AKA feel a kick on the outside :D), he will be travelling for a few months singing for different people and we will be in New York for the time being, but don’t worry, he will come see you and hopefully your grandma Anne, grandpa Des and Auntie Gem and Uncle Michal will get to see him soon too. My love, never forget how much we love you already, and that every single sacrifice made is all with the hopes that you will a very happy life, we cannot wait to meet you!

A knock on my door pulled me out of bed, when I looked into the peephole, I was surprised to see Olivia standing there, I opened the door and offered her a smile which I didn’t know if she could see through my mask but still, “Hey, good morning how are you? Want to come in?”

“Y/N hi, good morning to you too, no it’s okay thank you, I went downstairs for a coffee for Harry and I and thought you would like one, I really didn’t know what you wanted so I ordered the same thing I had when I was pregnant”, she handed me a cup that smelled like chocolate and coffee and made my mouth water

“Thank you, I really appreciate it”, “Also, we are heading to the venue at around five, so if you wanted you could go with us?”, “Oh, thank you, are you all leaving at that time or only you and Harry?”, “Me and Harry, but I think Glenne will be leaving a few after”

“Thank you, I think I’ll get there with Glenne, it is taking me longer to get ready these days”, “All right, but if you do change your mind, please let me know, you have my number still yeah?” I nodded, thanked her for the coffee again and closed the door. I was kinda surprised she was being so nice to me, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt.

I took a shower and just as I came out there was a knock on my door, I peeked and saw a bellboy standing there, I put on my mask before opening, “Hi may I help you?”, “Miss Y/L/N?”, I nodded, he handed me a box, “Thank you, give me a minute”, I placed the box on the hallway table and grabbed a five dollar bill that was sitting there and handed it to him, he thanked me and left.

After closing the door, I grabbed the box and opened this, the first thing I found was a letter addressed to me, when I opened it I could see Harry’s handwriting, I read it and smiled; Having you and the baby here makes my heart feel a little warmer and closer to home. This tour is as much of your effort and sacrifices as they are mine. I am forever grateful for you. With all my love, Harry.

I put the letter aside and opened the packaged wrapped in tissue paper and when I did, I found that he had gifted me every single merch item for this tour, the design was amazing and I couldn’t wait to wear and use it all, I would thank him afterwards for it.

I packed up the merch on my bag and hopped on to some meetings I had, in between them Glenne had dropped off lunch for me and let me know we would be leaving around five thirty, I finished sending some documents and started to get ready.

At five twenty-five there was a knock on my door, I grabbed my bag and mask and opened the door to see Glenne standing there, “Hey you, you look beautiful”, she smiled, “You are the best, you look so beautiful too, are you ready?”

I nodded and we made our way to the arena, when we got there Glenne pulled out our backstage passes and Covid tests and we made our way to the arena, I smiled when I could hear the fans cheer, I had missed this and I knew they did too, and it still felt surreal to be here.

When we got in backstage there was a lot of chaos and happiness all around and the room was buzzing, I followed Glenne until we arrived outside a room, when she opened the door I could see that the band was there, hair and make-up done and talking with their families, I could also see Jeff and his family and there was another circle where Harry was standing with James Corden and with Olivia.

Glenne started walking and she turned to see if I was following, but before she could speak I let her know that I would stand outside for a few. I closed the door behind me and stood on the side, I pulled my phone out and checked an email before answering and outing the phone back inside my bag.

I reached to rub my belly, which had become one of my soothing mechanisms and I was also hoping that maybe I could feel a kick on the outside, i was so into my thoughts that I didn’t hear the door open until someone spoke up and scared the crap out of me.

Harry. Las Vegas, Nevada. 6:15 PM

I was happy, nervous and excited, the time for tour was finally here and of all the things I did, performing was my favorite. I wasn’t able to sleep too much so when Olivia and I woke up she went and got us a coffee.

Hours passed by and before I knew it we had to get to the arena. When we got there everyone was happy and the energy there was awesome, after we had soundcheck I went into my changing room and checked that everything was alright.

After doing so I stopped by hair and makeup, once we decided that everything was okay we went into a big general room where the band and their families that could be here were already there, I said hello to them and all of a sudden I heard the Azoff’s calling my name.

I smiled at Shellie and hugged her, I then said hello to Irving and Jeff, who let me know that Y/N and Glenne would be here soon, when he said that my heart started beating so fast, I knew she had received the box but I hadn’t heard from her.

A few moments later Glenne appeared and said hello to everyone, but I noticed that Y/N was not behind her, I turned to look at her and silently asked her where she was, even though I knew the answer, I excused myself and exited the room.

When I did my heart did some somersaults, she looked so beautiful and her belly, oh her belly, it made me so happy to be doing this with her, “How did I know you would be here huh?”, she jumped and laughed a little

“You scared me”, I walked next to her, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to”, “It’s okay”, I stood beside her for a few before turning and asking permission to rub her belly and she nodded, “Hi little sprout, are you excited, would you let me know?”, she laughed before speaking, “Oh baby is excited, hopefully he or she will let us know soon”

I turned to look at her wearily, “Are you okay?”, “I am now, thank you, by the way for the merch, I loved it”, I smiled “I am glad, do you want to go inside?”, she nodded but before we could move, she squeezed my bicep, “Can I give you a hug?”

“Of course you can”, she reached in and I did too, I kissed her head for a few and she squeezed me extra hard. We pulled back and then made our way to the room, when she entered, they stole her from me and I felt this over protectiveness over her and the baby which I know is irrational, but maybe it was my fatherly instinct.

James came and he also got the time to congratulate us for the baby, and I took the chance to thank again everyone for all of their effort and left to change to my concert outfit, just before getting into the box Olivia kissed me and I turned to look at Y/N who gave me a smile and a thumbs up which I returned.

Las Vegas, Nevada. 9:00 PM

We were standing on the back of the pit waiting for the show to begin, the outfits everyone was wearing were so beautiful, and I couldn’t believe that he was now here. When the light went out everyone screamed and I could feel the chills of excitement.

Bukowski’s monologue was starting mixed along with the introductory notes for ‘Golden’ were playing, To do a dangerous thing with style is what I call art. Butterflies were moving on my belly. Style is the difference, a way of doing, a way of being done.

When Harry appeared on the middle of the stage and he started playing Golden again, the butterflies returned, as the chorus was playing I placed my hands on my belly I felt a little nudge that made me freak, I moved my hands and pressed a little, and there was that nudge again, my eyes watered

“Oh hi baby, I feel you, are you excited for daddy?”, there was bug again, I felt the tears in my eyes, “There you are baby, I love you”, I enjoyed the rest of the concert feeling my baby move, I couldn’t wait to tell Harry that Lovebug did react to his concert and music.

September 5, 2021: Week Twenty-Six

Las Vegas, Nevada. 12:15 AM

I had just gotten out of the shower when I noticed that I had a missed call from Harry, as I was about to return it, the phone rang again, it was him. “Hello?”, “Oh hi, I thought you were asleep”, “Sorry, I was taking a shower”, we were quiet for a few seconds before he spoke up

“Are you up for a visit?”, “Uhm sure, is Olivia okay with that?”, “She is, so I’ll see you in a few”, I hung up and brushed my teeth, as I closed the bathroom door I heard a knock on my room door, I peeped into the peephole and opened it for Harry

“Hey, there’s the man of the hour!”, he laughed and came in, he had a bag of goodies on his hand, we sat down on the floor with our backs to the bed and as he pulled out the snacks I grabbed some drinks for us.

“So, how did you enjoy the concert?”, “I loved it, the setlist was amazing, the lights, stage and everything”, “I am glad you enjoyed it”, I had been thinking on how to tell him that the baby had kicked since I knew that he was so excited for it to happen and now was the perfect time to tell him

“Although, there is one song that has my heart more than ever”, he looked at me curiously, “Will you tell me which song it is?”, I nodded and reached for my phone to play it, “Golden?”, I nodded, “Why?”

I reached for his hand and placed it over my belly, I turned to look at him, it was so amazing to see his emotions change from curiosity, to hope and finally to the realization and adoration that he was felling his baby kick, “Really? With Golden?”, I nodded again, and tears sprung to his eyes

He placed both hands on my belly and leaned to whisper, “Hi baby, did you enjoy my song? I love you so much, I cannot wait to dance this with you”, he then reached to place a kiss on my belly but he froze when he realized he did and I felt my breath leave my lungs.

“I’m so sorry”, “No, it’s okay”, we stared at each other for a few, he then reached to hug me and I let him, just for a few I would be selfish and believe that everything was as it had always been and how it should be.

September 7, 2021: Week Twenty-Seven

Denver, Colorado. 9:00 AM

I really did not know how I ended up here in Denver. The original plan was for me to fly out of Vegas the day they were supposed to leave for Denver, however it took Sarah, Nyoh and Elin, who was becoming one of my close friends, no more than ten minutes to somehow convince me to come.

And maybe it also had to do with Harry, I will not lie; the night he visited me he had shared how anxious he was feeling for missing part of this pregnancy, and even if I reassured him that I would make sure that he was as present as he could be, which resulted in me agreeing to go with him and then fly home.

The knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts, I grabbed my jacket and mask and went to open the door, when I did Sarah was waiting there for me and after saying hello we went into the elevator, when we got downstairs Mitch was already there with the stroller.

When he saw us he waved and we started walking to him, when I saw the baby I smiled and kneeled in front of the stroller, “Well hello there handsome man! How did you sleep?”, he gave me a smile and I reached for his hand and presented to each his fingers which had him cackling.

I felt a hand on my back and I was surprised to see Harry standing behind me, “Good morning love, slept good?”, “Hi H, good morning; I did how about you?”, “I did”, he then reached his hand and helped me stand up.

As I straightened up his hand reached my belly and rubbed a little, we both smiled when we both felt a kick, “Before I forget, happy third trimester”, I turned to him surprised, “How did you know?”, he bashfully looked down, “My app let me know”, my heart was beating so fast when he said that.

We went for a little walk at a park nearby and I was thankful that we didn’t encounter any crazy fans, the three we did were very nice and respectful and congratulated us on the baby, we took a break midway because this mama was tired and Sarah was able to feel baby move.

When we got back we hung up for a while and Sarah, Mitch and Harry left for rehearsals while I stayed with little man for a while. After putting him down for a nap I got ready for the concert, when I was done little man woke up and I fed him one of the bottles Sarah had left me and just as we were done they arrived ready for us to go to the venue.

Harry rocked it once again, I was standing with Jeff and Tommy, I was dancing to ‘Sunflower Vol. 6’ when I felt a little dizzy and breathless, so I stopped on my tracks and took a few deep breaths, Jeff noticed, and he reached to squeeze my bicep and leaned in to talk to me

“Hey, you ok? Wanna go back?”, I turned to him and leaned in, “I’m ok, just tired, probably has to do with the third trimester”, he looked wearily at me, “Are you sure? We can go backstage”, “No it’s okay, I am feeling better”, he nodded and pulled back a little, and stood beside me.

As soon as Harry made his way backstage Jeff and I followed, there was a little commotion and when I turned to the common area Pauli and Harry were sitting on the couch receiving some oxygen, I started walking to them and kneeled next to him and grabbed his hand, “You okay?”, he squeezed and nodded his head.

Harry. Denver, Colorado. 11:15 PM

It was the second night of tour and things were only getting better, Olivia had to return to LA but Sarah and I had been able to convince Y/N to come with us and then leave for New York, this would lessen the anxiety I had about leaving them alone for a few weeks, however I was starting to regret having convinced her.

I had just left the stage and although I had used some oxygen during the set, I still needed some along with Pauli, when she appeared backstage, I felt like I could breathe a little better, however when I grabbed her hands they were trembling.

“Do you feel okay?”, before she could speak Jeff interfered, “You did feel kinda breathless darling”, I turned to look at her and my heart fell to my stomach when I saw that she did look kind of pale. Sarah noticed it too and asked Mitch to pull a chair for her.

When she sat down the paramedic went and tended to her, “What are you feeling?”, she answered slowly, “I do feel kinda dizzy? And shaky”, the paramedic grabbed a third mask of oxygen and placed it on her face.

He then checked her blood pressure, which thankfully was normal, “Do you have your doctor’s number? I just would like to check with them if there is anything else they feel comfortable for us to do”

Y/N spoke up, “No it’s okay”, but as she was saying this I handed Jeff my phone, “Please call Betty Olson”, she looked at me surprised that I had her phone, it rang for a few before Betty answered, “Hello?”

“Hi Betty, it’s me Y/N, sorry to bother you at this hour”, “Oh hi honey, no worries it’s no bother, is everything okay?”, I spoke up, “Hi Betty it’s Harry, uhm we had a little incident, we’re in Denver, I’ll let the paramedic speak”

I passed the phone to him and since they had already removed my mask I kneeled in front of her, the paramedic stood up to speak to Betty and after thanking her he hung up, “Dr. Olson said we are doing everything right and to rest and take it easy”

We thanked him and waited for a while until she felt better, once we got the all clear we started making our way to the car, once we got in we were seated in silence before I spoke up, “At what time does your flight leave?”

She turned to look at me, “Around twelve, have to leave for the airport early”, “If it is okay with you, Jeff, Sarah and I will take you there”, she turned and gave me a smile, “It’s okay”, she then grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

When we got to the hotel we got on the elevator, we stopped on our floor and just before we arrived to our respective rooms I stopped her, “Does your room have two beds?”, she turned to look at me with a questioning look, “Yes, why?”

“Would you mind if I stay with you? I would feel more comfortable making sure you are safe”, she smiled a little, “Harry…”, I sighed and laughed a little, “I’m sorry I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable”, she reached for my hand, “Fine, we’ll have a sleeping party”, I laughed and followed her

I went to my room, changed and then returned to her room, I went to the bathroom and when I came out I saw that she had fallen asleep, before turning off the lamp I kissed her forehead and temple, when I caught a whiff of her smell lavender and honey, oh how I have missed her smell.

Wait, no. That’s wrong. I have a girlfriend, a girlfriend I deeply care for, and who is coming to see me soon. I pulled back and got into bed, I texted Olivia before falling asleep.

To Olivia Wilde (12:20 AM): Thinking of you, miss you.

September 8, 2021: Week Twenty-Seven

Denver, Colorado. 9:00 AM

We had just left the hotel and were on our way to the airport, sooner than later we had arrived, we got off and I said goodbye to Jeff then turned to Sarah, after hugging her I pulled back and wiped the tears that had fallen, “Please don’t cry, I’ll see you pretty soon”, “I know, but it feels like the last goodbye”, I knew what she meant and hugged her

“Would you do me a favor?”, she nodded, “Would you please take a Polaroid of Harry on his outfit? Please”, “Yes of course!”, I smiled and handed her the bag where I kept the camera along with the film.

I lastly turned to Harry, who hugged me and squeezed me extra tight, “Please, be safe, I cannot wait to see you guys again”, “We will, enjoy tour okay? We are okay and I will let you know if anything happens”, he squeezed me again before letting me go.

I started making my way into the terminal, but had to turn quickly and wave to them, they waved back and sent some kisses and hugs, which I returned, and started making my way to the gate; on the way back I decided to write a little on my journal.

Baby welcome to the third trimester! I cannot believe we are here! This means we are even closer to meeting you! This week you are the size of a cauliflower <3, you finally got to hear your dad perform and by the kicks you were giving us I can say that you enjoyed it! This is the outfit he was wearing, I really loved how good he looks in pink. We hen travelled with them to Colorado, your Auntie Sarah got the chance to feel you move and so did your cousin (but to be honest he is so little that I don’t think he really realized what was happening), we did have a little scare on Denver but everything worked out :) Your dad decided to wear red and blue, he looked like such a dad you wouldn’t believe! Your auntie Sarah will make sure that we have a picture of each outfit. It will be a few weeks until we see daddy again, but you don’t have to worry baby, he will always come back for you, and he will always be thinking of you, we both will always be there for you and think of you and above all, love you more than anything.

Taglist @tinydestinybear @amyleeeee @harry-is-my-sunflower @beachwoodcaferryy @dirtytissuebox @msolbesg @clarawolf22 @harrysficreblog @infinitely-yellow @cherrylovesblog @wherethehellhaveyoubeenharry @harryspirate @kaitieskidmore1 @michellekstyles @qualitygiantshoepsychic @irelilien @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @shawnsblue @behindmygreyeyes

#harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #dad!harry #harry styles fluff #the story of you #harry imagine #harry styles oneshot #harry fic #harry styles story #harrystylesfanfic #harry styles fic

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horde-princess · 4 years

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Touching someone’s face to manipulate them was a frequently recurring motif in She-Ra. It’s especially associated with Shadow Weaver, who did it with Adora and Catra all their lives, raising them to have a twisted understanding of physical affection. I was really excited to see how they would reverse this motif in the final season and turn it into an expression of love and man.. it was even more beautiful than i couldve imagined

So the first time we see this visual with catradora is in season 1, the Battle of Bright Moon. Catra touches Adora’s face in a show of power/manipulation, wielding her affection as a weapon. Clearly a trick she learned from Shadow Weaver.

After this, we don’t see either of them touching the other’s face until the very last season... and it’s important to note it’s mostly Adora who’s doing it.

It makes sense that we never saw her touch Catra like this when they were cadets in the Horde because she didn’t have any role models to teach her what love looked like. The only way she knew how to express it was through protection. But being with the rebellion helped her understand. She came to think of soft touches as an expression of love instead of manipulation. And she does it for Catra three times throughout the season.

Through these touches, I think.. I think Adora was unconsciously teaching Catra what she had learned about love from the rebellion. Catra spends several episodes observing how Adora conveys affection for her and she helps Catra come to a new understanding of this gesture, that touching someone’s face means you love them.. thus totally upending the ideas that Shadow Weaver poisoned them both with. And probably helping Catra heal from her particularly brutal manipulation in 2x06.

Remember (if we disregard the fake times, i.e. not dt/simulation/mind control), the last time Catra touched Adora’s face was that terrible moment in the Battle of Bright Moon when they were enemies. Four seasons later in 5x13 Catra decides to tie her fate with Adora’s, to stay by her side no matter what, even if she has to watch her die, even if it means they die together. That decision itself was a love confession but now, moments after Adora gently caresses her face in the most loving depiction of the motif yet, Catra finally understands how to translate her feelings into physical affection, too.

Which leads to this last occurrence of it 😭 ....

Overall this motif tells the story of how Catra and Adora redefined their understanding of love and physical affection... taking the evil version they were taught as kids and turning it into something selfless and beautiful.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I think it’s interesting that the first face touch in the series is Shadow Weaver touching Adora in 1x01, and the very last one is Adora touching Hordak’s face as she heals him from Prime’s mind control. It says something quite profound about Adora’s journey... starting out as someone who got manipulated, and growing into someone who heals one of her own manipulators from manipulation.

#i spent like 3 hours on this sldjfldklj god the work i've put into this blog.. i deserve a vacation honestly #she ra #spop spoilers #she ra spoilers #meta

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persephoneyss · 3 years

Text

Bad Movie.

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x f! Reader. Ft. Jungkook.

Genre: Yandere, dark themes, angst, gore a little.

Summary: ❝Looking for the person you love, beautiful woman.❞

Warnings: Yandere behavior, obsession, harassment / stalking, humiliation, forced marriage, non-sexual intercourse, abuse of power, implicit murder, drug use naming, minor past master / pet relationships, secondary character abduction, ugly hallucinating hoseok , beatings, blood, photos depicting abuse, mistreatment and death, bribery, sexism and humiliation (directly aimed at female prostitutes), hoseok mistreats and humiliates jk, awkward marriage proposals, use namjoon as a secondary character because it hurts more:(, etc.

Number of words: 6000+

︙Author's Note: This is my longest fic so far, I think. It took a lot for me to do it, especially since I didn't have a clear idea about the whole plot that would take and the role that each character would develop. So if you see Jungkook in a kind of strange character, blame my mind for including him almost last. Also, I hate Hoseok in this fic. Namjoon angel and fallen soldier, by the way let me know if they cried with his death, it hurt me to write it. Thank you very much for the 200 notes in my previous fic, I'm crying.

Read the Warnings well and enjoy!

(Sorry for any mistakes, my first language is not English and I am not fluent either.)

Puedes leer este fic y más aquí en español.

Confidence, a beautiful and treacherous feeling at times.

Feeling superior is a constant whisper of the ego within you, calling to be released and make others feel as what they really are, despicable and useless trash. It was fun laughing at losers when you haven't had that sense of defeat yet.

Hoseok fervently watched his rivals fall at his feet, laughing at his incompetence and stomping even more pathetic defeated form even though they were already dead in tears of pain. He smiled, he always did when he felt invincible and He bit his lip gently to hold back an excited laugh.

No one could be compared to him, and in his high sense of power he could never be alert when he struck him with a blast of vengeance.

It was you.

His eyes stared at you in horror and anger, his ego inside him hated you from the first moment. Because while despicable, he loved you for much more than his pride and winning sense.

He fell at your feet but he never made you notice it, behaving as he normally would around you even though he was always behind you.

Luck was her greatest ally, he always smiled at her and she helped him. It was fun to play with your opponents pretending to be the victim, the cornered mouse and then smash everyone with a snap of your fingers.

His mother looked at him with love and his father with pride, he was the only and favorite son of the Jung family. His success was never derived from love, much less, it was blasphemy in his family to say something so false and impossible.

Hoseok admired his family when they met in the great message of his parents' house, his grandparents smiled and his relatives brought out their most exquisite stories to entertain. They were all crows pretending to show interest in a prestigious place in the will of the family's monarch, his grandfather.

It was at one of those dinners that he got to meet you, he used to get bored of hearing his cousins tell their anecdotes with prostitute women who mostly called, whores of a night. Mocking their shocked faces when they refused to pay them and threw them out of their big luxurious houses.

He rolled his eyes when a family friend, little Jungkook who was known to his father because of his prestige in his last name, chimed in trying to get into the conversation with a shy smile.

Lucky bastard, he thought bitterly. He didn't like the little idiot sticking his hands in boiling water, he wasn't even supposed to be there.

He hummed a goodbye as he walked out the front doors, walking aimlessly to his bored eyes. His feet stopped abruptly with a strangled sigh when he first saw you, you looked tired as you apparently searched for a key inside your bag. Could visualize the logo on your shirt from the grocery store where he assumed you were employed, He stood looking for what seemed like an eternity at you before you find the keys and rush through the back door. He snorted before lazily continuing on his way, however the next day he ended up following in your footsteps again and with even more confidence.

It took a few weeks for him to be able to enter the small commerce store and be able to look you face to face for the first time, it was expected that you would serve him with a smile asking if he was offered something. But he did not see you anywhere, he looked for you before another equally young woman approached him kindly, he sighed making a face of disgust surprising the she worker, his expensive shoes got dirty on the floors of the humble place with shame. His little investigation and search took him through many corridors of the establishment, he observed the shelves and each person who seemed to be wearing the uniform of the store thinking of finding you distracted with your work, maybe he thought of approaching you and asking for directions which he clearly didn't need. Knowing that she you couldn't refuse because that was your job. In a way, you were there to serve him.

He let out a bored sigh, tired of playing hide and seek, he turned around ready to leave that place that disgusted him so much in a certain way, but once again he stopped in an instant. It was a moan. He clenched his fists, walking hurriedly to the place where the noise came from, he was sure it was your voice and that made him even more angry thinking that he would find you in a compromising position with someone.

He did not think that his lover would be such a stupid and dirty person.

You were crouched on the floor, grimacing with pain and exhaustion. You seemed very annoyed trying to lift a box with your arms, the scene was tender and certainly pathetic, she smiled noticing that you were so distracted that you were never aware of how I was watching you with carnal desire and painfully bad adoration.

"I-can I help you." He was surprised at his little babble, justifying himself later. Nobody ever managed to make him nervous, his father used to despise weak people and certainly he always sought his approval by doing things that were not correct. "They seem heavy."

Your face pale before the scare, turning into a face of shame quickly, you shook your head with a gentle movement, smiling still pained. "I'm fine sir. Can I help you? Maybe he got lost, let me guide-..."

"Actually, I do need help but not with your services." I speak in disagreement, you seemed confused but she nodded at his request. The customer is always right, right? How convenient. "I need you to allow me to help you with that heavy box, not to be rude or calling you weak miss, but you can't seem to handle it."

Lie, under his politically correct excuse was a dialogue about how insufficient you are even with things as easy and common as carrying a box, obviously you needed his help and Hoseok could give you that and more, much more. You just had to say it, it was so simple and fun.

"I -... I can do it, but i will accept your help sir ..." He smiled making an emphasis for he to give him his name, he let out a small laugh finishing his sentence.

“Hoseok, you can call me Hoseok, darling..." He mock imitating his position, your name left your lips like a melody and he immediately felt the sweet taste of it slide down his tongue. Beautifully perfect, indeed. "Now that we can finish the introductions please allow me."

Her expensive outfit crumpled as she bent down to lift the box with ease, you were once again oblivious to her incoherent and certainly crazy fantasies, it was like a romance comedy movie in her eyes. The charming fellow always stays with the girl. And likewise, no one could go against the fictional plot.

He was immersed in the beautiful narrative that you would be hers at the end of the credits.

It was not the last time she saw you, she returned to her same routine of continuing to stalk you with obvious impudence. The only thing that really changed was her new setting and her character, he was hiding between the shelves waiting for the right moment to appear in front of you with a charming smile. Over and over, he was locked in an infinite loop.

He was starting to get tired of just having you in his arms and sheets just in his heavy and lustful dreams.

"A date? How funny Hoseok."

His face twisted in annoyance, but he put on a fake smile again when you looked at him again. "Hobi." He corrected in a high-pitched voice, insisting that you call him that. "And she spoke very seriously my dear, everything is ready."

"Eh ... I -..." A simple wave of her hands was enough to shut you up, you frown in confusion and secretly disgusted.

"On Saturday, I'll send you the address of the restaurant. Goodbye, dear!"

You watch it for a few seconds but he's already gone, you resign yourself to continuing with your work of ordering the products on the shelves. Thinking and trying to remember when you gave him your number. A very characteristic noise distracts you, a call makes you smile with love and adoration.

The plot is taking an interesting turn.

Hoseok was charming by nature, his economic position made him even more desirable to the opposite gender and even his own. It was not strange to see people flirting with him or being suggestive with his proposals, he was on a pedestal and he enjoyed it. His subconscious whispered a little bored. I couldn't deny that he became boring in a way, but you appeared in the story as an extra who soon became a main character. You changed the script of his life already established and narrated.

You were so funny.

He smiled in front of the mirror when he thought of you, since he met you that day he started chatting with you secretly from your supervisor. You had told him several anecdotes to make him laugh, you were also naturally charming pulling out various expressions of adoration that you did not even notice. Oblivious to that, you'd better get ready for the climax of the movie.

The wind was strong in the streets of Seoul, your hair was noticeably messy causing you to let out a tired sigh. You should be planning your wedding banquet right now, but you honestly didn't want to leave Hoseok alone at the dinner he had organized. You put the invitation in your bag, thinking of giving it to her when the time was right with a smile. He seemed like a good person and undoubtedly a good friend in the future.

"You're on time, I was just about to order our food. Honey." The last word slid down his tongue with malice and arrogance, Hoseok inwardly chuckling at your disengaged expression.

"Thanks, but don't stop you can order for both." You say arranging your chair correctly.

The restaurant looked relatively empty, there were only three other people including a couple who ate dinner while chatting enthusiastically.

You smile unconsciously, thinking about what would also make you feel the same way.

"I was looking forward to this dinner, my dear. I also hoped I could tell you how much you have captivated me for a long time, specifically since the first day I saw you." And the others too, he thought shifting your posture.

"Thank you, I'm very flattered to cause that feeling ... in, good in you." You whisper clearly uncomfortable forcing yourself to stay calm. You were sure that you had never given a hint or anything else in Hoseok to establish romantic feelings. "But I-... "

"I know, darling. That is why I have to offer you the opportunity to be my girlfriend and my future wife."

Wife?

For a moment, you feel a rush through your body. You refuse to make a scene in front of all the few people present out of respect, you calm down by counting to ten slowly in your head, but it becomes very difficult for you as you continue to observe his comfortable smile and how he behaves. He seemed very sure of the affirmative respect you would give him, you snort angrily at the thought.

"I am sorry to have been misunderstood Mr. Hoseok, but I am not seeking a relationship with you and very sorry I reject any relationship beyond friendship." Your body lifts up, making Hoseok laugh well in advance of your final sentences. "I am engaged and my future husband is waiting for me, good afternoon."

Trembling, you leave the invitation in silence, leaving the luxurious premises in the same way. The waiters watching you with surprise, being an audience of rejection and humiliation on your part. Hoseok sighs, sipping his wine glass patiently pretending not to hear what the couple behind him are saying.

What a bad luck.

Life wanted to want to return all his damn vanity to him, making fun of him with your almost imminent rejection, obviously he knew that you were engaged and that you loved the poor man who had the bad luck to be his competition, but love is not always the important thing in a relationship or at least not of both parties. The voices of the waiters and the couple distract him from his plans for his next step, he clenches his fists angrily dropping the silverware on the plate calling the attention of everyone in the place.

"Filthy vulgar and talkative people, she will be my wife even if her words have been heard by her prying ears." He raised his voice, causing everyone to shut up. "It's just part of the script."

Maybe if the character who wanted to be the main loses the role of him, he should be the villain. The bad guy in the movie.

He read the invitation with meticulous delicacy, laughing at the little message you put aside. He thought about attending for a second, wondering if it would be nice to walk in to go straight to the altar and shoot your husband willing to take his place by your side. But that would be risky.

"Where are we going, sir?" He asked his driver with a smile.

"Take me to the best brothel in Seoul." He whispered delicately, smiling just as happily as before your rejection. I'd make you pay double the bill for your indulgence.

And likewise, the world is a truly small place. Jungkook nodded clearly uncomfortable obeying someone other than Mr. Jung. Hoseok cornered him like a helpless rabbit in the claws of a cunning fox, flashing his jaw in warning. He felt confused about his little assigned task, watching the direction pointing the right way to his chauffeur who only followed orders.

A small feeling of remorse ran through him, making him want to vomit when he remembered how Hoseok's face was so close to his with arrogance, as his hands roamed his arms gently. He was disgusting how he used his power to such a useless and demanding gain, sometimes without any realism.

"Little Jungkook, you have a very lovely name. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, you were so insignificant that you seemed pathetic to me." He whispered making her wince. "My father told me that you are good at obeying, I would like to test his theory." His cold hands were constantly running down his arms, making a shiver run through his body. "Still remembering well, I already did it before."

Jungkook was weak under his cloak of power, where he could so easily hide it. Lose it. "Yes, h-hyung." An inappropriate moan came from his lips causing him to cover her mouth in shame, a little touch near his crotch was enough to tempt him. Hoseok smirked, narrowing his eyes before walking away slowly wiping his fingers on his expensive clothes in disgust.

"I want you to befriend someone, don't ask, just do it. I'll tell you your next step when you're done." He ordered bored.

"We are here, young Jeon." Notice Jimin with a smile, Jungkook sighed wearily thanking him before getting out of the car ready to fulfill his mission.

I observe him for a few seconds standing in the entrance without doing anything, he was cleaning the windows of the building with force. He seemed like a nice person, certainly a bit humble. He approached making the man bow respectfully, even though he was older. Money can buy everything, they say.

"I am young Jeon, a new investor. May I have a chat with you?"

The man was surprised, no one who was someone by name and a few numbers along with several zeros would be able to notice his presence and at least greet him. A coffee sounded more intimate and undoubtedly inconvenient for him, but again out of respect he accepted the offer with a smile adorning his features.

"My name is Jungkook informally, but I like you and you can call me that." He spoke kindly.

"Namjoon, Mr. Je -... I'm sorry, Jungkook." He corrected sheepishly, making her smile.

He still didn't understand that he planned to do Hoseok with a building cleaner, but he didn't feel in a position worth asking. Furthermore, he would still not receive an honest answer.

He passed by the same place every day, pretending to enter the building only so he could meet Mr. Kim and talk about unimportant subjects. He gained his trust almost immediately, promising that he would give her a better job soon at his own company. He felt like an idiot taking advantage of the man in front of him in such a way for a simple whim from Hoseok.

He was an idiot, but he didn't want to go back to what he was before. A pet.

"I'm very happy, I think she will make a good wife." He responded with encouragement, seeing how Namjoon nodded looking for a picture of his fiancée to show him. He seemed excited, Jungkook understood his happiness after he explained that he saved for a long time to achieve his dream of getting married in a church. They were both in it together, in looking for a future.

He got lost in his thoughts, maybe if he lied to Hoseok about gaining trust from him, saying that Namjoon was a very cold and quiet man, he could make him forget about it. He sighed squeezing the coffee cup in his hands, Namjoon caught his attention by showing a photo of you smiling at the camera with a background of the bridge and the sun behind making a beautiful background.

Jungkook became alert, having seen that face before.

Hoseok had you as the wallpaper on his phone, he knew it was you because of your characteristic features and the scarf you wore in both photos. You were the new fad of a rich fool.

"T-is ... She's so cute, you're very lucky."

Namjoon nodded with a smile, apologizing before returning to his work upon being called by his supervisor. Jungkook put aside his cup feeling the bitter taste of his thoughts, Hoseok was planning something, he knew he was a son of a bitch who liked to keep his plans under lock and key and in a deep grave. He walked away calling for Jimin quickly, before being accosted by Namjoon who came running over, seemingly forgetting something of the utmost importance.

"I apologized Mr. Jeon, but I wanted to give you this personally. It is an invitation, in addition to the proposal to be the best man at our wedding. My fiancee said that it would be appropriate for me to choose someone and I decided that you were perfect, you can decline if you prefer. . " He spoke kindly, as always. Namjoon seemed to have no hatred in his heart, making his own feel heavy on his chest.

Could he bear the blame?

"It's my pleasure to accept her proposal, thank you for considering me. Good afternoon, namjoon-hyung."

He said goodbye by getting into the car as fast as he could, making Jimin look at him with derision. Obviously noticing his nervousness, Jungkook sighed hiding the invitation as much as he could before reading Hoseok's message ordering him to go to his house to sort out his affairs.

It seemed like a joke as he always looked so flawless, ready to humiliate him again.

"Jungkookie, I'm glad to see you again. Now, we'd better come in for our talk." He smiled making anger grow inside him, Hoseok sat on one of his expensive furniture before pouring himself a glass of wine. "Well, I heard from a little bird that you accomplished your task. Good pet."

"Don't call me that, hyung." He grunted in annoyance, making him laugh. "I can't go through with this, I did what you wanted. Leave Namjoon-hyung alone."

"Oh, they're close now really cute. But you forget that I can't fulfill your wish, because "Namjoon-hyung " is an essential piece in my little game." I speak mocking him as always. "Then we will move on to the next step ..." He thinking for a moment, before snapping his fingers. "Invite him to a bachelor party night at the brothel in the center, I already made the reservation. When they are there, leave him alone. A whore will take care of him properly, and maybe you can go make him a oral another yourself." He sneered evilly, reminding her of his past, Jungkook bit his tongue resisting the urge to respond properly. "Since you're clearly good at it, little pet."

"Yes, hyung."

Hoseok nodded saying for him to leave asap, tired of seeing his stupid face. He got up ready to do so, but his arm was taken tightly before bringing his face closer to hers, Hoseok let out a sigh, doing he could smell his breath of mint and wine combined. His hand lowered him into his pockets dangerously close to his crotch, he bit his lower lip to resist a moan escaping him, this had happened before and he begged it to stop forever. From his pocket, she pulled the invitation out, making her gasp in horror.

"Godfather of wedding, new facet of you... kookie." Rolling he eyes pushing him away from him, he fell to the ground before being met by a blow to his cheek. "What a shitty pet, you idiot."

Two days was enough for you to tremble at the thought. Your dress was proud to be seen, it was the most comfortable dress you could find at a fair price. Namjoon tried to enter but he was stopped by your friend who said that he will wait until you keep the dress out of his sight avoiding bad luck. A smile wavered on your face, everything was perfect up to a point.

Namjoon looked at you, a blush covering his cheeks before asking his obvious question. You didn't expect him to want a bachelor party, but you couldn't refuse because you simply trusted him.

Maybe it was your mistake.

You wished him luck, feeling an inexplicable emptiness. Your friends didn't offer to make one for you, they just sat on the couch in their living room talking about movies and arguing about what color the cake would be. It was the calm before the storm.

Jungkook felt a giant headache, the lights of the place were making him dizzy. Jimin had insisted on going with him to such an 'unusual' place to keep him safe. Namjoon had brought a couple of friends who seemed to be always close to him preventing the woman who did the job Hoseok had him do from becoming difficult.

He smiled, thinking that he would have no choice but to let it go. But Hoseok was not a good loser, and neither was he a good winner.

Hoseok:

He distracts his friends, and be careful what you say, kookie.

Received at 11:30 p.m.

He bit his lip, glancing around the bar, thinking he'd find him sitting somewhere spying on everything but nothing looked suspicious. He sighed, sending Jimin out for drinks with one of Namjoon's friends who he gladly accepted. He got up having pushed one away, the other who introduced himself as Jackson seemed more reluctant to leave his friend alone but with a few excuses about feeling bad managed to get him out of sight.

Believed that he would find Namjoon sitting right where he was before but no, he was gone. He felt a burning feeling of guilt, maybe if you didn't find out, nothing would happen.

"You're still the same as before, boss." Jimin sat down next to him, making him uncomfortable.

"Same as before? I am no longer a child."

"But you continue to obey as one. The manipulation they use on you is your greatest weakness, you are afraid, you obey without hesitation thinking about how this will indirectly affect you. But you never do anything to avoid it, you feel bad about this but you still sit here without doing nothing."

"What can I do, Jimin? I don't know if he really left by his will, or if they forced him. I don't want to enter a room in this dirty place and see him sleeping with another woman, because he wanted to and is a fucking infidel . "

Jimin ignored his words, falling silent after several seconds.

Feeling unhappy is a horrible feeling without a doubt. The curious eyes looked at you as if they themselves could judge your story.

Namjoon disappeared as quickly as the wind, many sharp tongues said that he eloped with a lover so as not to marry you. Others believed it was a kidnapping, maybe a robbery gone wrong and he was taken away or he was killed somewhere far away. A sob escaped you just thinking about it, the detective in front of you watched you cautiously.

"We don't know anything about him yet, but we will continue with the investigations."

You nod, without saying a word. Jungkook came in minutes later with a handkerchief in hand, he observed you before gently hugging you. You had the pleasure of meeting him after Namjoon disappeared that night, he introduced himself as a close friend from work and quickly offered to help you with the search.

Maybe he felt guilt.

"Thanks, Jungkook." You smile wiping the tears that escape from your eyes.

"They are looking for the best they can, they even alerted the Japanese embassies in case they might take him there."

"Japan?" Puzzled questions. "Why would someone take him so far? He's just a man with little money, that's ridiculous."

"We don't know, but I promise I won't rest until I find it."

Hoseok sighs bored, witnessing the moment. He had been bribing the bloody police force to hide the information from you about the discovery of your fiancé's corpse floating in the middle of the waters of the river where they used to go together. The only thing that was removed intact from his clothes was a small photo of you smiling, sitting on the banks of the same river.

The police mourned the death, but his faces left grief when they saw the money in his hands. He made fun of Jungkook as usual, who passed by him ignoring him when he went to his house to talk to his father, he knew that the useless little one was very meddlesome in the search for your future husband and ex-fiance. He rolled her eyes remembering how she used to look at him with discontent in meetings, suspicious of him.

He was a good detective, he couldn't deny the obvious.

"You didn't have to do this, a I'm sorry was enough." You say admiring all the bouquets of flowers that came to your house from him. "And I'm sorry for your loss."

He wasn't sorry.

"My dear, losing a loved one is something without a name. I can give you more than this if you promise to smile again, I love your smiles."

Jungkook snorts approaching you from behind, Hoseok to growl at noticing him so close and see how he puts his hand on your shoulder, apparently like support.

"Hyung, he didn't think it's a good time for ... That."

"But little kook, when is not a good time to express how you feel about your loved one?"

"When that person you say you love is crying over the loss of someone special because of evil people who don't know what remorse is. Do you understand that, hyung?"

"No, not really." He laughs cynically making you lose your patience, your little body comes between the two men, with one already furious and the other inadvertently giving up, you make a face of annoyance before speaking.

"Sirs!" You yell at him immediately, Jungkook steps back adjusting his tie. A mania that he had and that you noticed when he presented himself in front of you with regret, he did it when he was uncomfortable or nervous. "This is not the time to argue, I think you'd better leave my house if you're just wasting your time. Thanks for the flowers Hoseok, and Jungkook ... I, I want to continue the investigation on my own."

"That?!"

"What you heard, don't feel responsible for Namj's disappearance -..." You tremble correcting your words, making Hoseok scoff. "My husband, he was just at the wrong time in the wrong place. Thanks for your help, I'll see how to pay you very soon." Jungkook denies trying to insist but fails when you are already closing the door and giving him an apologetic smile.

Your breath feels heavy, you sigh falling to the ground sobbing again. You wanted to find Namjoon, but a large part of you was afraid of how. Dead, with another woman, with serious injuries or simply ... Alive but with trauma for life. You did not want to see him suffer, it was your judgment in life to see the person you love cry in his pain.

You observe yourself, telling yourself that you would be fine when you find it.

Your email seems to explode with thousands of messages received from people claiming to have seen a man like Namjoon near their homes. You ignore them knowing that most of them were false, the first few days you read all of them giving the police false clues that they quickly denied and dismissed.

You dry your tears, closing all the windows and cooking a simple instant soup, eating in absolute silence. It was overwhelming feeling alone at home, where you were supposed to feel safe indoors.

The rain, thunder, and evil outside seemed to be invisible within that place.

A chill runs through you, the control of the television seemed tempting to calm that neat silence and avoid your boredom. You give up turning on the TV, you see the first channel, you keep changing looking for the unknown, you didn't know what you wanted to see. Maybe a newscast saying they found a tall man with dark brown hair and charming eyes unconscious, with a couple of blows to the face and a few scratches but okay, safe, alive and waiting to see your face waiting for him with a warm smile.

Swearing never ever to let go.

A couple of tears slide down your cheek, ruining your fast food. A few knocks on the door manage to scare you, causing you to bite your lip in anger.

"Who is?!" Questions in a shout.

Nothing.

"It better be good ..." You say in muttered, you open the door expecting to see a child running to his house laughing at his childish joke.

But no, there is no one at the door. Just a small envelope that easily slipped underneath, you take it hoping it's a letter from the police announcing good news. Maybe a simple identification of suspicious faces, or footprints at the club.

"I hate being the bad guy, it makes me feel good.

He's dead, I did it for you. For me. For us. I want to make you happy but it's so difficult when I don't know what you want, tell me what you want.

Love you. Love you. Love you.

My heart is so weak in your cold eyes, I feel that you look at me with ignorance of my feelings. Do you want to find it? Do you want to do it?! Okay. Good luck with it. "

It was everything, plus a picture of a golden ring with a large diamond shining brightly. You wrinkle the letter in anger, tossing it into the first bin you found nearby. It seems that in the end, someone did want to joke with you.

Your days remained the same, you went out to work and in the afternoons you called each of the investigators to ask for new news, it was almost always a solid wall, there was nothing really important to report and little by little, they gave up.

Jungkook knocked on the door, he heard some footsteps approaching making him have a little hope. But when the door opened he saw you with a worried face, he felt his heart squeeze in his chest when he tried to get closer but you avoid him by leaving in a hurry. You were dressed in a long black skirt and a white blouse, you were elegantly ready for something.

"Where are you going?" He ask stopping your hurried pace, taking your arm tightly.

"Yo, listen... He... Or her, I don't know who it is but ... You know, he or her know where, he's alive I know. I just don't have time, please."

Your mouth moves wiht fear, you were hiding something but not from him. You were willing to tell him but not now. Not at that time.

"Let me accompany you, I can take you and I will feel better if you are safe."

You nod, letting go of his grip and running down the stairs, outside there is a very elegant car, apparently waiting. The driver smiles at you as if he had known you before, you make an uncomfortable face trying to continue on your way but Jungkook introduces him saying that he works for him.

"Jimin, he's Jimin. He's a good person and a great friend, I've told him about you before."

"I see, sorry." You speak with a bow before climbing to the back, Jimin just smiles kindly, as always.

"Where are we going today?" He asks animatedly, Jungkook takes your hand for support making Jimin remove the smile from him. Your nervous state and your afflicted face are enough for him to understand the situation.

You give him an address, Jimin searches the map being unknown to the place. Your eyes sparkle when the lights of Seoul are reflected in them, Jungkook holds your hand tightly in fear of letting you go again. He felt sick when you stopped calling him, cutting connections with him totally to this day. He spend sleepless nights looking for more clues, the only thing I had until that moment was the identity of the woman, she was a prostitute without anything special, when he spoke with her he seemed indifferent saying that he did not know Namjoon and that the last time he saw him It was when he drugged him and left him in a room as ordered.

The whore made fun of him saying that he would give him this information if he did not tell the police anything, he obviously accepted. Now he repented, the woman disappeared after that and days later she was found in a garbage container. It seemed to be a suicide, the container was from her building, the window of her old apartment faced just where she was supposed to fall if she threw herself without thinking twice.

Right in the garbage.

The wheels of the car made a thud when it stopped, it was a cabin, the only one nearby. You came down quickly thanking Jimin who just made a flirty face. Your hands trembled with the cold, you look at the letter that tells you where and when you should be standing at the door.

"Wait for me here, if we don't go out or you hear noises, you know who to call."

"Yes sir!" Jimin obeys with a laugh at the boss's serious tone of him.

"Y-you should go, I can do this alone." Your voice rises in the echo of the silent place, Jungkook rolls his eyes before offering his arm to you, making his decision clear.

You laugh calming your nerves, the door opens just as you both step close to it. A man stops them, saying that only you can enter the next room. You stop Jungkook who was to protest, you calm him down by leaving your ring in his hands with a smile.

Your body disappears when another man closes the door silently, Jungkook sighs looking annoyed at the guards who ignore him.

A message coming to his phone distracts him for a few seconds.

Jimin:

Should I call the police, Mr. Jung, or the hospital?

Received at 9:35 p.m.

Smile ready to answer before hearing the door open again, he approaching you to ask everything and at the same time nothing. Your pale face is enough to make want to hit the person who was inside with you. Questions remain in the air, your arms surround him while you sob for forgiveness.

From the shadows Hoseok smiles, admiring the document in his hand, your signature shiny as gold is glued to it. He thought it would be more difficult to convince you to accept his marriage proposal, but the precious and expensive ring fit you perfectly. He raised his hand proudly admiring his own, the wedding would be planned as soon as possible making him jump like a happy child.

You had accepted, with the promise that he would bring you back to Namjoon.

But it was never specified in the contract that he would be alive.

The wedding was in a meadow, outdoors with distinguished guests and a few friends and family of yours. Hoseok greeted everyone, by taking your hand tightly introducing you as his wife immediately. It's as if he wants to show everyone that you now belong to him, as if you were a prize.

And maybe if you gave him the key to her success.

"You better smile my dear, nobody wants to know what will happen if you don't." Her lips brushed your hand before placing a chaste kiss on it. "I love you, my beautiful protagonist."

You sob, tears falling from your face as you melt into his disgusting caresses. The man in front of you, your un-predestined husband. The one who stole the position of your true love, he was kissing you delicately.

"Don't cry, decorate the room just the way you wanted. The photos were a special touch ..." His teeth bit into the sensitive skin of your neck, an involuntary groan of pain escaping. "Love you."

Your eyes move desperately to find a photo where the beaten, abused or dead body of Namjoon cannot be seen. You scream when you find one where you see blood everywhere, you are resigned to look down at the ground where Hoseok was crouching kissing the inside of your thighs.

Your mind tried to process the idea that Namjoon had been killed, mutilated and thrown into a river that washed away his body along with happy memories. Farewell to him was prolonged as your body faded in pain.

Hoseok enjoyed the sight of your eyes tightly closed, his cock throbbing inside you as she fucked you like his wife.

The head of the bed moved crashing into the wall, and unconsciously your walls tightened around it causing it to release a curse aloft to the sky.

We got to the end of the movie, smiled as he dazzled the credits by seeing Jungkook's lost name. His little bitch who was his toy for many years, laughed remembering how she did wonders with her mouth.

He pretended not to know him when her father introduced him, taunting her hurt face.

He held you in his arms tightly, you had been struggling to free yourself from his grip as he continued to abuse you over-stimulating your pussy. Your eyes closed falling asleep from crying so much.

He caressed your face, kissing your dry, chapped lips.

The end.

#bts #bts smut #bts yandere #yandere #kpop #yandere bts #yandere bts au #yandere kpop #yandere!bts #hoseok yandere #yandere hoseok #jhope #yandere! jhope #jhope smut #hoseok smut #bts fic #bts x reader #hoseok x reader #yandere hoseok x reader

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chainofclovers · 3 years

Text

Grace and Frankie 7x1 - 7x4 thoughts

Meh? Like...I love them so much, but...meh?

(I did enjoy this line about brunch.)

I really loved season 6 of Grace and Frankie. I thought it was well-paced, largely very well-acted, generally well-written, and it culminated in a massive moment of character development for the title characters, who, having spent years growing closer and being there for each other when others could not or would not be, finally articulate to each other that they are the primary person in each other’s lives. Platonic gal pal soulmate BFF emotional support witches 4 lyfe!

I know progress isn’t always linear, and in fact is very rarely linear, but after a moment that significant, you’d think the writers on this show would maybe come up with some more interesting things for these characters to do than spin in circles?

@bristler and I watched on Friday night, and just this morning over breakfast had a good conversation about the first four episodes of the new season now that they have settled in our brains a bit. We concluded that the writing (often noticeably clunky, like the dialogue is responsible for more narration than usual) and the tone (aggressively wacky) feel really off, especially compared to the prior season. I think we diagnosed the big issue, which is that Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are by far the most talented actors on this show (if you disagree, fight me in the parking lot) and it feels surprisingly unfortunate that their characters have, to this point in the new season, pretty much figured out their perspectives on each other. No matter how people feel about Grace and Frankie’s sexualities, the whole show has been about them finding each other and getting in deeper and deeper, and it’s less interesting to watch other characters have realizations about that than it is to watch Grace and Frankie having realizations about themselves. If the title characters are now limited to reacting to other people’s actions, and the title characters are played by the best actors on the show, the whole show’s gonna suffer. And is suffering, very much so, at least for these first four episodes. I’m definitely still excited for the final twelve in 2022 (twelve! I cannot believe this season will have sixteen eps!), but I’m pretty disappointed so far.

Stuff I Loved:

The family brunch. These families have been entwined for so long, and the backstory for this particular brunch was so fun (even though I didn’t care for the effects they did to depict Grace and Robert 25 years ago; there was no need for a visual flashback in the scene). I love that Grace hit Frankie with a wiffle ball bat. I love that the two couples realized some of the emotional reasons behind their decisions to lie to each other about Bud’s Bunny and about M’Challah. I love the way Jane Fonda sounds uttering the phrase “Bud’s Bunny” with little to no irony. I love that Grace is able to recognize and articulate just how deep and miserable her anger issues were, albeit with the continued help of her omnipresent martini, and that Frankie told her she’d now make up a holiday in order to spend more time with Grace. I really, really hope Frankie does exactly this at some point in the remaining episodes of the season. I love that Grace is generally a pretty good person now, with aspirations of being a delightful person. I love that she and Frankie don’t have it in them to stay angry with each other, and I love all the evidence that they really, really talk to each other about everything now.

Frankie talking to the man at the office (I don’t remember who he was supposed to be? A toilet manufacturer? I didn’t mention this before, but I actually got pretty high while watching?!? Believe it or not, this was the first time I smoked pot and watched Grace and Frankie at the same time despite having enjoyed both activities on their own for quite some time. I would recommend the combo! And I think I still pretty much got what was happening) about paying for the toilet parts with candy. This whole subplot with the money laundering was absurd and not that interesting, but I loved this particular scene because it was finally evidence of some really thoughtful writing. The concepts aren’t enough! You have to write them into good dialogue! And the whole cash/candy thing was a moment of dialogue that only someone as hilarious as Lily Tomlin could pull off. Which she did, IMO.

In a show about super messy people, Coyote has stayed sober this entire time. He is sober, employed, in love, and preparing to buy a full-sized house with his partner. He hasn’t murdered anyone in his family. Hasn’t even attempted murder once.

In 2017 or whatever, Grace Hanson would have been furious about Frankie using obscure Beatles references like a treasure map when hiding the cash. But here in 2021, she cooperates and even gets in on the fun. The writing is very unsubtle this season, but that did feel like a reasonably subtle moment that shows how good of a partner she is for Frankie. (Platonic, of course! So platonic. Female friendship, amirite?)

Stuff I Did NOT Love and Felt Incredibly Negative About:

Brianna. I can only conclude that June Diane Raphael has decided she’s happy with playing a character whose primary role in life is to be hot and mean. She succeeds at being hot and mean, but I have reached my limit with this character. I realize we’re only a quarter of the way into the season, but I don’t think I can take another arc about her learning to compromise only to reveal to Barry that she never intended to compromise at all. At this point, it’s both abusive and boring. How?! The Grace/Brianna parallels aren’t interesting anymore, because one character has grown and the other is stagnant. I get that Brianna was raised in an emotionally stilted environment by two unhealthy people. But I think it would be very cool if she could learn something from her mother at this point. Grace has put a ton of effort into dealing with her “rabbit-killing, mad-at-the-world anger.” She’s put a ton of effort into figuring out what makes her happy, what she wants her life to look like. She’s even started accepting her age and abilities without shame. And that growth is believable; Grace is still short-tempered and she still slugs back way too many martinis and she struggles to articulate certain things, but she’s grown into a truly lovely human. And while, as a daughter with a mother, I can absolutely attest to the fact that it can be difficult and uncomfortable to learn lessons from one’s mother, Brianna really, really should. Grace spent decades letting anger and shame trap her in a small, miserable life. Brianna—and even Mallory, who just seems like a vapid idiot this season—are traveling that same path, but there’s someone right there who could really help, maybe even more than Frankie helped when the Hanson girls were first growing up.

The arraignment. The scene might’ve been salvageable if it was filmed from Grace’s perspective, and filmed to reflect how surreal and improbable it all was. But speaking of non-linear progress, this scene erased everything Nick Skolka has done to put himself in my good graces (LOL) over the past couple seasons. I mean, I tried, man. I even wrote fic about Nick, Grace, and Frankie making a genuine effort at polyamory. But the arraignment is so emotionally manipulative, such a slap in the face of everything Grace has worked for, and while we’re certainly “supposed” to feel the weight of the moment, I mean, it’s not like we’re supposed to be like, “Oh, cool, we’re in a rom com now! This is adorable!” it still felt bad and unearned and slapdash.

And I want Frankie to process these things with her! Frankie seems so happy to have all this information about Grace and how Grace feels, but I want to see scenes in which we can gain an understanding of how Frankie actually feels. Hearing Frankie talk to other people about how Grace feels is interesting, but it’s like there’s no room in these episodes for us to learn anything new about Frankie herself.

Grace’s transitional wig. Is so. Bad. It is. Such a. Bad wig. Oof. I mean, I like what they’re doing with Grace’s hair from a plot perspective, although (see one bullet up) I would really like to get more of an understanding of what’s happening in Grace’s head, not just on top of her head. And gosh, Frankie would be a really good person to talk to about this in a conversation that lasts longer than 30 seconds. But the wig! She’s in a wig in all four episodes, of course, since Jane Fonda went grey and cut her hair short before they started filming this season. The wig for episodes 1 and 2 is fine; it’s a good approximation of Grace’s typical hair, and of course we know that canonically Grace’s hair isn’t 100% her own hair anyway. But the wig with grey roots looks so weird. The part that’s growing out doesn’t look the same as the hair on the wig from 1 and 2. And the grey roots look like a yarmulke. I cannot wait to get to the point in the season when Grace goes all the way grey.

(One more thing about the hair. I can’t let it go. I paused the show while we were watching to rant, but I’m not done.) I had the great privilege of seeing Jane Fonda in person at a protest in 2019. She is an insanely beautiful human. She was growing her hair out and it was partially dyed blonde and partially grey. It looked really cool. I am not ashamed to say I spent that day learning many things about the climate crisis and about Jane Fonda’s hair. Having seen her in real life with her real hair looking that fucking great, I just have a an extra-large grudge against everyone involved in that horrible wig. The wig is necessary, but it didn’t have to be this bad.

What Do I Care About Now?

I am pretty intrigued by the way Grace threw out her real age in a conversation with Nick and Elena. She has nothing to fear anymore! She’s so chill about aging! What could go wrong? I assume that Nick and Elena maneuvering for Nick to be on house arrest in Grace's house specifically has to do with the fact that Grace is 82. She’s gonna find out that Nick is allowed to be with her because she’s ancient and helpless and the court took pity. Or something like that. She’s going to feel betrayed on top of feeling stifled and overwhelmed by Nick’s presence. I want to see where this goes for sure.

Other than that, and other than the fact that I really do continue to believe this show is moving in a direction in which Grace and Frankie will choose each other, I feel very whatever about this whole thing. I love this show and I will always appreciate this show for giving me some incredible characters to spend years of my life writing about, and for bringing me some pretty amazing friendships. Speaking of those friendships, yesterday @ellydash and @telanu and I were talking about some of the incredible TV we’ve watched recently, like Ted Lasso and Hacks and Fleabag and Killing Eve, and how great it feels to watch beautifully written TV crafted by writers who are profoundly—organically yet intentionally—attuned to even the most minor character’s rhythm. The disappointment of these first few episodes of the new G&F season feels like a mild disappointment rather than a sharp heartbreak, and that has a lot to do with being deeply invested in other shows that could also go in all kinds of different directions but with writing I fundamentally trust.

Also Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are my forever faves and my appreciation for their performances and general awesomeness onscreen and in life is undiminished. So that’s pretty cool.

#grace and frankie #meta by me #grace and frankie s7 spoilers #a lesbian watches ted lasso #grace hanson is a gay disaster #except #she's not even a disaster anymore #she's totally fine and men keep bothering her!#frankie bergstein is a bisexual mess

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readyplayerhobi · 4 years

Text

Flower | 40 | End

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst

; Word Count: 6.9k

; Warnings: Slight anxiety attack, mentions of panic, slight body issues

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: So...this is it 😢 Flower is officially over! I started writing this on November 15th, 2019. Almost a year later, here we are with 40 chapters, 3 drabbles and 180k of words. Can you believe I actually finished it? I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading it and the journey of the MC finding herself and falling in love with Hoseok. It’s been so fun to write and it’s sad to let it go. If you’ve enjoyed reading this, please let me know with a comment or an ask! I’ve loved reading how much you’ve all felt seen or embraced by the MC with her struggles and I’d love to hear your thoughts on not only this chapter but the whole fic! Feedback is what keeps authors going and I came very close to leaving writing once Flower was finished but I’m still going to carry on. I’m not sure if this chapter is good or not, but I hope you enjoy it anyway and think it a fitting end to the story!

; Flower Masterpost

“Okay...okay. Let’s do this...you can do this. It’s easy. Just...walk down the aisle. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? Well, Hoseok could not be there or I could have a heart attack and drop down dead. That would suck. But it would resolve a lot of my issues, I wouldn’t have to worry about everyone watching me. On the other hand...I’m going to marry the love of my life. As long as he turns up” The soft sounds of your muttering are probably barely heard over the soft playing music through the speakers in the room, YouTube playing mindlessly to itself.

It was a good job, as it meant that no one else in the room could hear your panicked thoughts that were being verbalised. Hoseok and you had decided to get married at an exquisite mansion hotel with the ceremony itself being in the elegant gardens outside. There was a full-sized maze alongside a stunning fountain, the centrepiece being a marble depiction of Aphrodite rising from the shallows.

You’d taken a walk around the perfectly groomed gardens the night before, taking in all the decorations that you’d painstakingly picked out over the months that had been artfully arranged by the staff. The flowers in the gardens were beautiful, a smorgasbord of pinks, oranges, violets, reds and yellows that brought the whole area to life. Alongside it looking visually perfect, it also smelled amazing as well with the soft scent of different flowers mixing.

At night, the tiny fairy lights that had been strung up around the building front and the metal trellises that were organised in the garden gave off a soft, golden glow. It made the whole place look ethereal and you were excited for everyone else to get to see it during the reception tonight.

The actual wedding ceremony was scheduled to start at two in the afternoon, with only friends and family invited for that. It would be outside as well, with Hoseok and you standing at the end of a make-shift aisle on the lawn section of the hotel’s garden. Temporary chairs had been arranged on both sides for your guests, dark wood with ivory silk draped over everyone. At the end of the aisle, each chair had a silk bow in ivory and deep purple alongside a bouquet of specially arranged flowers.

It all looked perfect and you’d marvelled at it yesterday, amazed that they’d managed to bring your vision to life. Now all you had to do was walk down it and get married, which was where you were a little panicked.

The room that had been assigned to the bridal party was on the lower floor of the hotel, reducing the risk of you potentially killing yourself by tripping over your dress while walking down the stairs. It was technically two hotel rooms connected through a shared bathroom, which you found bizarre.

Your mom and Hoseok’s mom had taken the other room for their use to get changed, the hairdresser and makeup artist they’d hired working there to make them look their best for the ceremony. Even now, you could hear them chattering and laughing away with each other. Even through your anxiety, you can’t help but smile as you hear them get on so well.

Any fears you’d had about them not liking each other had quickly disappeared. Instead, they’d become good friends and liked to meet up now and then to have a talk over coffee or something. It pleased you to see your mom getting to have more friends.

Eden and Amelia had also chosen to get ready in that room, not wanting to crowd the one you were in too much. It was already full of dresses and a ridiculous amount of makeup and hair product with only four of you so you couldn’t even imagine the chaos with five of you.

In your room was Soyeon, Chungha and Dahyun alongside you. Dahyun was currently three months pregnant, having successfully been inseminated with Jungkook’s sperm. He’d agreed to their request and after a few months of getting prepared for the attempts, Dahyun had undergone the procedure. What it had been exactly, you didn’t know because you hadn’t felt it was your business to pry into something like that.

It was a privilege to even know they were trying before anyone else. Their announcement had come at your bachelorette party when Dahyun had refused alcohol, immediately leading Soyeon and you to be suspicious. You’d never seen Chungha’s beloved ever turn down a drink so it had been a clear sign of something at least.

Needless to say, your party had happily become a celebration of their impending baby. Thankfully, you weren’t one of those people who got overly annoyed at others announcing things at events. Or at least, not big events. Your bachelorette party had been a perfect time to find out, whereas you might not have been so amenable if they’d told everyone today instead.

That was normal though, right? Today was your day. Yours and Hoseok’s. People who felt the need to co-opt special days like that were a special type of self-absorbed in your opinion.

Given it was so early into her pregnancy, Dahyun isn't showing that much. Which meant her bridesmaid dress hadn’t needed to be altered too much. None of them has gotten into their dresses just yet, instead currently in the process of getting their face and hair done. Chungha’s hair has already been done, elegantly styled into a beautiful updo with a few tendrils curled around her face.

The makeup for the girls was a smokey eye with subtle blush and contour, alongside a neutral lip. It wasn’t anything flashy, but you’d loved the concept of it all. Particularly with the small and delicate crystals that dotted along their waterline, adding a little sparkle to match the tiny crystals on their deep violet dresses.

As a present to each of them, you’d bought them a gift set from Pandora. In each one was a pair of dainty stud earrings with a heart design alongside a matching heart-shaped pendant necklace. All the hearts were encrusted with brilliant-cut stones, making the perfect gift that could be used again in the future for casual use.

They’d all been in awe of it and surprised at being given presents as well. You hadn’t even known it was a thing until you’d looked up wedding preparation online, discovering that you should also buy something for Hoseok. Which had led to you buying him the fancy watch he’d been drooling over for months now. It had been eye-watering expensive, but it had been worth it for his excited text this morning.

Along with the watch, you’d also written him a letter. It was meant to be light-hearted and fun, but you’d ended up writing way too much as you’d poured out your love to him alongside everything you felt for him. To your eternal embarrassment, you’d ended up crying while writing it as you’d told him everything you’d never been able to vocalise, including writing possibly a million times that you love him.

He’d been instructed to not read that until just before the ceremony.

His present to you was a gaming table, which might not seem to be very sentimental to anyone else but you’d been ecstatic over it. For years now, you’d been saying that you wanted to buy a proper table that was designed for board games and that could then be used as a normal table when converted. They were super expensive so you’d resigned yourself to never getting one, but he’d printed out the receipt of what he’d ordered and put it into an envelope for you to open tonight.

Neither of you had ever been a traditional couple, and that certainly wasn’t about to change with marriage.

“Hey, you okay?” Amelia asks, interrupting your intense thought process as she sits down next to you. As usual, her aura is warm and reassuring as she reaches over to gently squeeze at your hand. You don’t spend a huge amount of time around her, but you knew both Eden and her enough to want them in your bridal party.

“Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t know. I’m just…” Trailing off, you struggle to find the right words and instead gesture towards the air. It makes no sense but you can’t quite figure out what you’re trying to say. Mainly because you can’t figure out what your mind is thinking.

“It’s okay to be worried, don’t feel like you shouldn’t be. If you’re anxious or nervous then that’s okay as well. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should be feeling, just feel what you are. Trust Hoseok, trust yourself and all your family and friends. We’re all here for you and we want you to have the best day possible. Tell us if anything is wrong, okay? I have no doubt that Chungha and Soyeon would strong-arm everyone into whatever was necessary to make you feel comfortable.” She says, smirking as she nods over to the two women who are chattering away in their respective chairs.

“I know, I know. I’m trying. It’s just...god, everyone is going to be staring at me and I hate being the centre of attention,” Looking down at your hands, you chew at your lips. “What if I mess up the vows? Or I freeze or drop the ring?”

“Hey, it’s normal to feel that. I doubt there’s anyone who’s gotten married who wasn’t at least a little bit anxious about messing something up. Yes, everyone is here to watch you, but they’re for Hoseok too. I’m sure he’s just as worried that he might make a mistake, and if you do then, so what? It’s not going to ruin anything, it just means your human. If anything, people will probably find it endearing. The only person you should concern yourself with is Hoseok, and I doubt there’s anything you could do today to ruin the day for him. Unless you don’t go.” Amelia laughs when you give a shocked gasp, jaw-dropping open and eyes wide.

“I would never do that! But what if he decides he doesn’t want to get married anymore?” Now the worry that had wiggled itself deep inside your mind comes to the fore and you find yourself almost whispering the words. It feels like a betrayal to Hoseok for even thinking he’d do that, but you can’t help the fear.

You must not have been quite enough though as Chungha speaks up, facing you in her chair with a stern expression on her face as she wags her finger. “Lady, do not think that. I don’t want that thought to even enter your head. As if Jung Hoseok is ever going to back out now. I think that man would’ve eloped with you if you’d asked instead. He’s going to be standing at the end of that aisle, probably bawling like a baby.”

“Maybe not that far.” This is from Eden, who’s laid out on the bed in the centre of the room, playing Zelda on her Switch. She’d had her makeup done earlier and is now waiting for the hairdresser to be free while Amelia is waiting for her makeup. All of you had decided that you’d be last to get ready to make sure that everything looked as fresh as possible.

“Want to bet? That man is gonna be sobbing.” This starts up a whole ten-minute discussion about whether or not Hoseok was going to cry at seeing you. Namjoon hadn’t cried but Jimin had during their weddings, surprising no one. But Namjoon had cried at the birth of his daughter.

You weren’t sure, to be honest. Hoseok didn’t cry all that often and you could probably count on one hand how many times you’d seen it over four years. On top of that, you weren’t entirely sure that you wanted to see him crying. It made your chest hurt when he did and you always ended up crying too.

Something about seeing strong and proud men cry was just heartbreaking to you.

For a while, you just sit back and let the conversation wash over you as they all debate and borderline argue, intensely amongst themselves. They’d all switched around now and they’ll soon start getting into their bridesmaid’s dresses, which meant you’d be finally getting ready.

Your nails had been done the night before with a beautiful design in the same colour scheme as the wedding. They looked so pretty and elegant, which was a surprise to you every time you looked at them as you never really bothered doing your nails. While you liked to do fancy makeup looks now and then to post onto social media, nails were not something you were interested in.

Maybe you should reassess that thought.

“Anyway, what we’re all trying, and failing, to say is that Hoseok loves you and if he doesn’t cry then he’s crying inside at how beautiful you are.” Soyeon states firmly, sitting next to you and admiring your nails as well. All the bridesmaids had the same style to keep the theme going and she wiggled her fingers with a bright smile.

“I’m not even ready yet, you don’t know if I’ll be beautiful.”

There’s dead silence in the room after the comment, with even the hairdresser and makeup artist turning to stare at you. Between the six other women in the room, you’re pretty sure that they’ve got every emotion from shock to annoyance to incredulity covered. Feeling yourself get warm at their attention, you look down to your lap in embarrassment.

Obviously, the wrong thing to say.

“Okay, we’re going to ignore that you just said that. You don’t need to be dolled up and in a wedding dress to be beautiful, it’s just going to enhance what you already have. And I don’t want any arguments on that.” Poking your side lightly, you playfully wince at Soyeon as she scolds you. Everyone else is nodding along solemnly before they carry on with whatever they’d been doing.

“Seriously though, I overheard your conversation with Amelia. She’s right. Embrace your feelings but don’t let them overwhelm you. Standing in front of a crowd is nerve-wracking for anyone, but you’ve got the love of your life standing there with you. Just focus on Hoseok, he’ll get you through it. He always has, right?” Soyeon said.

Giving her a half-smile, you nod and do a remarkably good job of looking like a scolded child or something. You know it’s just because she loves you that she doesn’t want you to berate yourself, along with the fact that she knows what you’re like. If someone doesn’t verbally acknowledge your problems then you’ll just obsess over them.

Your phone screen lights up in your lap before it begins to vibrate suddenly, Hoseok’s name visible on the screen. Frowning down at it, you wonder why he’s calling before a multitude of emotions and thoughts runs through your mind.

“Go take it in the bathroom.” Pulling you up, Soyeon practically pushes you into the bathroom before giving you a smile and a thumbs-up as she closes the door.

Seeing the other door is also open, you peek out and let everyone in that room know that you’d be using the bathroom for a few minutes and to not come in. Once you get the acknowledgement, you close and lock it as well before pushing up to sit on the counter.

“Hobi! Why are you calling?” Leaning back against the mirror, you frown deeply as you question him. The first response is just his familiar deep chuckle, the sound already helping to soothe some of your frayed nerves.

“Amelia texted Joon, who told me. I don’t want you to stress yourself out! Not today, today’s meant to be a happy day. No stress. Or anxiety.” Snorting, you roll your eyes as you trace an invisible design onto your thigh.

“Sure, like that’s gonna happen. You know me. And why are you calling? We’re not meant to see each other until the wedding, it’s bad luck!” There’s a brief pause and you can practically hear him rolling his eyes, the deep sigh he lets out telling you all you need to know.

“Meeps, I’m pretty sure that only counts for physically seeing each other. I can’t see you right now. I don’t recall anything about not being allowed to hear you, or talk to you. Besides, we make our luck.” He sounds so nonchalant and now it’s your turn to sigh at him.

“You’re going to get us hit by lightning or something.”

“Impossible, the weather schedule for today is meant to be sunny with a little bit of cloud later on. Nice warm temperatures that aren’t too hot but also not too cold. Perfect. No lightning.” His immediate rebuttal has you laughing, unable to stay mad at him for too long. Not when he’s trying so hard to take your mind off things.

“Seriously though, are you okay? What are you worried about? Talk to me.” Hoseok asks, his voice calm and steady as he stops joking around. There’s a brief moment of resistance, the thought that you don’t want to bother him with your silly thoughts or annoying emotions before you remember that you can trust him. No matter how ridiculous it sounds in your head, Hoseok will listen and he won’t make fun of you.

“I’m just...scared. Of all the people. Like, they’re going to be watching me or staring. What if I look fat or ugly? Or I fuck up saying the vows? Or I drop the ring or my dress splits or something? Or if I trip down the aisle?! Or if you decide you don’t want to marry me anymore?” As you begin to reel off the questions that have been plaguing your mind, you can feel your chest getting a little tighter and your breathing shallower.

With the practised ease of someone who’s dealt with your panic attacks over the years, Hoseok makes calming and reassuring noises over the phone until you’re silent. Just listening to him, you take in the comforting words as he lets you know that you’re okay and everything is fine. Finally, once he thinks you’re calm enough, he carries on.

“Meeps, that’s fine. Don’t be upset that you’re having those thoughts. I’ve had every one of those thoughts today as well. I mean...not the dress one. Substitute that for pants splitting or something, which is even more embarrassing because my underwear is not black today. But the point I’m trying to make here is that it’s normal to have those thoughts today. I’d probably be more worried if you weren’t having them.” He pauses to laugh before you hear shuffling noises.

There’s no doubt he’s probably not even getting into his tuxedo just yet and you curse the fact that men take far less time to get ready than women. He’ll probably only start like...an hour before the ceremony begins or something.

“But all I’ll say is, it doesn’t matter if anything goes wrong because we’ll fix it. You and me, just like always. You won’t look fat or ugly because you’re neither fat nor ugly anyway, instead, you’ll be the most beautiful woman here. Which you always are to me but don’t let my mom hear me tell you that. And I’m going to be standing at the end of the aisle, I promise you that. I’m the one who proposed to you and I will be there, waiting for you. That’s one thing I can assure you of completely.” Hoseok says this firmly, his voice perhaps more serious than you’ve ever heard it before.

You can practically feel his determination to make you understand that he’s going to be there. That he’s going to marry you today, no matter what happens. It makes your heart swell with love and emotion, causing you to press your hand against your mouth.

Hoseok takes your silence as a positive, choosing to let it carry on for a little longer before speaking once more.

“I love you, Meeps. And by the end of today, you’re going to be my wife. We’re going to have a great day with a beautiful ceremony and a fun reception before probably going to bed drunk. Or at least, I’m going to be drunk. Not entirely sure if I’ll be able to take you to Poundtown tonight-”

“Don’t ever say that again.”

“But if not tonight then definitely tomorrow. Unless you don’t want me to drink, in which case probably tonight if you’re up for it.” Shaking your head, you can’t help but smile at his stupid comments. He always knew how to cheer you up, even if it was with the most ridiculous thing you’d heard today.

“You can drink, I’m not going to make you sober throughout the entire reception. I want you to have fun with everyone, so if you end up drunk then that’s fine. Just don’t go overboard.”

“Choosing to ignore my Poundtown comments, I see.”

“Jung Hoseok, I am going to hang up now. I will see you later, okay?”

“Okay. Love you.” Feeling a little shy, you murmur your next words into the phone.

“Love you too.”

The ceremony is officially about to start and you stare at the open door, knowing that outside all your guests are waiting. Not only that, but Hoseok is at the end of the aisle. You’d been reassured by everyone there who had peeked out to make sure, quelling your fears and worries.

All the groomsmen had come inside upon finding out you were here, lining themselves up alongside their specified bridesmaid partners and chatting away happily. They all looked incredibly handsome in their suits, the colours matching the bridesmaids perfectly and you felt a little pride at having thought of a good colour scheme.

Your mom is fussing around you, making sure that your dress looks perfect and that your bouquet hasn’t fallen apart or anything. Sighing, you gently push her hands away as she tries once more to move your necklace.

All of them had given you something as part of the tradition for the bride. Dahyun had lent you a beautiful Cartier bracelet, glowing with diamonds, as part of the ‘something borrowed’ while Chungha had bought you diamond earrings for the ‘something new’. Your mom had given you the bracelet she’d worn for her wedding, now occupying your other wrist and Hoseok’s mom had provided the necklace adorning your neck.

It was a beautiful silver necklace with a dainty leaf design, leading to the main piece in the centre which was dotted with tiny diamonds. Each leaf spreading out had either amethyst or an aquamarine gem in alternating order. She’d ordered it specially made for your wedding, matching your engagement ring with the gems and fulfilling the ‘something blue’.

You’d been amazed at everything they’d given you, understanding now why they’d all told you now to buy any jewellery for the day. They’d all decided to make sure you had everything you needed anyway.

But you knew that your mom’s need to keep straightening out your dress or brushing away unseen dust was just to keep herself preoccupied. She’d already cried once when you’d come out in your wedding dress, makeup and hair all done. That had earned her an exasperated sigh from the makeup artist.

“Mom, mom, come on,” You coo to her, smiling before taking her hands and squeezing. “You gotta go out there, go get your place.”

She hesitates for a moment, unwilling to leave you before nodding. After a few words of reassurance from her to you, telling you that you’re going to do well and it’s all going to go fine, she turns and hugs your dad tightly before kissing him. You’d feel embarrassed at the sight of it, never quite being comfortable with your parents' displays of affection, but it just causes you to laugh softly.

Once she’s out the door, you hear the music begin from outside, the notes flowing through the door faintly. Everyone inside quietens and you can almost feel the excitement ramp up. It just makes you feel more nervous though, particularly when they start to head out in their pairs slowly.

“Are you ready?” Your dad asks, his eyes already going glassy with tears as his lip wobbles slightly. Giving him a concerned look, you immediately reach up to wipe the tears as they start to fall, feeling your heartbreak at the sight of your dad crying. He never cried.

“Dad! Don’t cry, oh my god. I’m sorry.” Cleaning up his face quickly, you’re stopped by the gentle way he grasps your wrists. For a moment, you think that he’s going to push you away but instead, he pulls you closer and carefully hugs you.

It’s a little awkward as you’re trying not to ruin the carefully done hair and makeup, but you can’t deny your dad a hug. Especially when you’d never really been much of a hugger growing up. You would be cruel to deny him one, especially on your wedding day. Your parents were feeling emotional that their little girl was getting married today.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s just your old dad getting sappy. You look so beautiful. Hoseok is so lucky, you better remind him of that every day.” He’s pulled back now, giving you the softest smile that is still a little watery. His hands move to your shoulders and he stands back to examine you fully, his eyes taking in everything.

Before you can respond to him, Yoongi is disappearing out of the door and heading towards the aisle. He’s alone, as you’d planned, but in one hand is the bouquet that Hoseok’s sister would’ve held had she still been alive. It had been his suggestion to hold it, symbolising the family member that Hoseok didn’t have anymore and you’d been more than willing to agree.

You wondered what Hoseok thought when he saw it as neither of you had told him that Yoongi would be holding it. Hopefully, he was happy with it, along with his parents.

Turning back to you, your dad squeezes your shoulders reassuringly before smiling at you. Ironically, all it does is make you more nervous as you realise that now you’re the one who’s going to have to walk down that aisle next.

“Come on, it’s time to make your fiancé cry.” His words in a teasing tone, your dad turns to face the door before offering you his arm. Standing there, you stare at him before looking at the door with trepidation. Nerves roil in your stomach as you hear the faint sound of music playing, knowing that everyone out there is waiting for you.

Which in turn means everyone will be staring at you.

Those nerves quickly turn to anxiety and your breath comes faster, chest feeling a little constricted by the tight bodice of the dress. Without even realising it, your hands start to shake and the bouquet in them shudders visibly.

Quickly, your dad takes the bouquet from you to make sure that you don’t accidentally deflower them or crush the stems. The last thing you needed was to ruin your perfect bouquet only minutes before you were supposed to walk down the aisle.

It frees up your hands and you find yourself flapping them as you stress, trying to shake out the negative emotions as you pant. Your dad’s eyes widen, obviously panicking himself at your obvious distress. He’s never had to deal with you struggling like this before and he doesn’t know what to do but his paternal instincts kick in quickly.

“Hey, come on, sweetheart. Breathe, breathe. Take a big breath in, come on, that’s it. Not let it out slowly. And again, that’s right.” Talking to you in his comforting voice, tone level and low, you follow his instructions and start to feel a little calmer as you force yourself to calm your breathing. It’s hard, and you still feel the anxiety but it feels a little more manageable now.

Closing your eyes, you run through all the tips your therapist had given you for how to cope with anxiety attacks. What worked for you was to sing in your head, the lyrics, whatever song you were loving lately. It probably takes longer than you’d have liked but finally you feel like you can cope with your emotions enough to carry on.

When you open your eyes again, your dad is giving you an expectant, yet worried, look. Shaking your hands once more, you reach out and take the bouquet from him before taking a deep breath. Linking your arm through his, you straighten your shoulders and lift your chin before smiling at him.

“Okay, okay. Let’s go.”

Walking down the aisle is surprisingly less stressful than you’d imagined. The famous wedding song plays through the air as you walk slowly and the whole atmosphere feels almost like a fairytale. The soft lights twinkle even in the daylight while the gentle, warm breeze makes the ribbons on the chairs flutter delicately.

Along the floor, the white and purple rose petals that Namjoon’s daughter had spread in her role as flower girl were strewn haphazardly. A few of them caught the breeze and rolled delicately to a new place, making it seem like the floor was consistently changing. You liked it, smiling at the sight of how beautiful everything looked.

Everyone was staring at you, as you’d expected, but surprisingly it wasn’t as intimidating as you’d thought. You didn’t exactly enjoy it but it wasn’t terrible. Probably because you were more focused on initially admiring how perfect everything looked. How months and months of thought and money had finally accumulated into the perfect wedding.

But mostly, you weren’t as bothered by the staring because you were focused on the end of the aisle. There was no real altar here, given that it was being held at a hotel and everything, but the metal garden arch at the end had been decorated in delicate flowers, ribbons and lights to make an even better end.

And beneath it stood Hoseok.

If you’d ever thought Hoseok looked handsome before then it paled in comparison to him today. His black tuxedo made him look tall and slim, every part of him looking perfectly put together and elegant. The deep purple waistcoat beneath his jacket contrasted with the white of his shirt perfectly; the colour combination making his skin almost glow with health and happiness.

There was only the slightest hint of tattoos at the edge of his collar, leaving to the imagination the artwork he had permanently on his body beneath his clothes but you didn’t need to imagine. You’d seen them all, traced them delicately into your memory over the years until you could point out where they were without even seeing them.

Finally reaching him, you paused to look at your dad and gave him a bright smile of gratitude before giving him a second hug. This one was a little tighter than before and when you let go of him, you saw that he was crying once more. He didn’t give your hand to Hoseok, instead just gave him a stern look while trying to surreptitiously wipe away his tears.

“You look after her, Jung Hoseok. You make sure she’s the happiest woman.” There’s iron in his voice, telling Hoseok that it wasn’t a question but more a command. But there’s also love and affection in it, something Hoseok can tell as well by the way he nods his head.

Handing your bouquet to Chungha, you take Hoseok’s proffered hand. Up close, you can take in the details of his face better and you take a moment to simply admire him and imprint him into your memory.

The sides of his head had been shaven, the undercut short and seen with the style he’d chosen to wear today. His hair had been styled back, pushed away from his forehead. It was a look that had made you weak in the knees many times over the years and you’d practically begged him to have it for the wedding, knowing that he’d blow everyone’s mind with how handsome he looked.

Hoseok had a face that looked like it had been hand-carved by the gods from the finest marble anyway and this hairstyle showed off all the highlights of his face. The high cheekbones that made his smiles so animated, his cutting jawline, the clean slope of his nose, the heart-shaped smile that lit his entire face and the dimples that made him seem so human.

His lip ring was still in, the silver shining in the sunlight. He’d been unsure whether to wear it but you’d told him to embrace himself and keep it. You’d fallen in love with him as he was, and you wanted him to show himself how you saw him. Which included his piercings and tattoos.

Your heart clenched though when you looked into his eyes finally. Hoseok’s eyes were one of your favourite things about him. The crescents they turned into when he smiled brightly, pushed into the shape by his cheeks and the way his eyes could practically dance with delight when he was happy.

Today though, those beautiful and expressive eyes were watery with tears. The wet streak on his cheek told you that he’d already had some of them fall and you frowned at the sight of them. Everyone had been right; Hoseok had cried upon seeing you down the aisle.

“Baby.” You whisper, unsure if you’re meant to talk to him. Deciding you don’t care, you reach up to wipe away the tears and smile when he kisses the palm of your hand before nuzzling into it, uncaring of everyone else.

“Meeps, you look perfect. I read your letter, I love you too.” Before you can stop him, he’s leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to your lips. There’s a murmur in the crowd, alongside some laughter and he looks over at everyone with a raised brow.

No one says anything though and he gets a satisfied look, ignoring your shy expression as you turn away from everyone.

“You’re not supposed to do that.” Keeping your voice low, you give a hesitant smile to the official who will be taking you both through your ceremony. Hoseok lets out a snort of laughter as he squeezes your hand tight, letting his thumb run along the back of your hand lovingly.

“I don’t care. It’s our wedding, I’ll do what I want.” And before you can stop him, he turns you and gives you another kiss, this one lingering a little longer. Eyes widening, you can’t help but giggle as you hear yet more laughter.

You should be annoyed at him, but you know he’s a force of nature. Plus, you don’t care. It feels nice to know he can’t help himself.

“Okay, let’s get married, Meeps.” He grins at you before facing the officiant once more. Staring at him a moment longer, you smile at him and nod.

“Let’s get married.”

Hobi Hobi,

We’re getting married today! Are you excited? I hope you’re reading this when I told you to, if not then you’re cheating >:[ it feels weird to write a letter. I don’t even know if I’ve ever done this before, so I’m sorry if it sounds really cheesy and lame. What do people write in these normally? I’m just going to write what comes to mind so if it ends up sappy then you’re not allowed to tease me later about it.

Anyway, I want you to know that I’m sorry that I suck so much at telling you how I feel and my emotions. I wish I could be one of those people who’s telling you every moment how handsome you are and how much I love you but I can’t. I’m sorry :( I’m trying, I swear! Even if I don’t get to tell you as often as you deserve, I hope you know that I love you more than anything in the world.

Don’t ever forget that, okay? Even when we’re arguing over something silly or we go to bed mad at each other, don’t forget that. I know we’re pretty good at talking things out but there’s always that chance that we could have a big blowout. So I want you to remember that I love you.

I’m still not entirely sure what I did to deserve you, but I don’t regret sending you that message. If anything, I think I should send the Flower team a big bunch of flowers or something for creating the algorithm that brought you up as a match. Imagine if it hadn’t and I’d just deleted the app, we’d have never met and I’d still be lonely and sad.

But we did meet, and I took a chance on you by sending you that embarrassing message. And then you took a chance by actually meeting up with me and going on that date. I still remember it, and I don’t know if I ever told you but I still have the ticket for the escape room. I know you still have yours in your wallet :) Thank you for giving me your time, even if I wasn’t your type. I hope I’m your type now.

I’m not sure that I will ever be able to tell you how important you are to me. Not only myself but my life. You’ve helped me to embrace myself and learn to love myself over the years through kindness. I know my limits in terms of my mental health now and you’ve helped to support me with the medication and the therapist. Neither of those were things I’d been comfortable with doing before your encouragement. But you also gave me a safe space to break down in; somewhere that I knew I could be at my most vulnerable mentally without having to risk being hurt even more.

You held me when I cried, you comforted me when I panicked and you calmed my anxiety over the years. I can never thank you enough for helping me to understand that these aren’t deficiencies and I’m not broken. I just need a little help to get through things sometimes. At the same time, I hope that I’ve become that safe space for you as well. I know that you’re not as emotional as I am, but I feel that you’ve opened up to me about things that hurt you. I’ll keep your secrets safe and I’ll always be here for you!

I hope you’re happy with your life now. With me, and our home and our furbabies. I hope you stay happy, and if you don’t then talk to me. Please. I don’t want us to ever realise that we’re making each other unhappy and I don’t want to ever be the reason for negativity. I want to spend the rest of my life with you in our little home, growing old together as we play board games and dote on our animals while you increase your tattoo collection even more. I know that people like to say that they can’t imagine their lives with their significant other, but I really do feel like that.

My life without you would be hollow and monochrome, as you bring colour to my world and fill it with joy and happiness. I’ve never laughed as much as I have these last few years with you and I know we’ll keep that in our relationship if we try hard.

I don’t really know where this letter is going and I’m babbling now. But I guess the main thing is just that I can’t wait to marry you. It may not be very feminist of me but I can’t wait to take your name and be your wife. I can’t wait to call you my husband. I’m going to be terrified in the ceremony and so nervous but I’ll be happy too, I promise! I still can’t believe that you picked me, out of all the women you’ve seen, to be your girlfriend and then decided that you wanted to marry me.

Jung Hoseok, I solemnly swear to treasure you for the rest of your life and make sure you know how much I love you. I might not be able to tell you all that much, but I’ll show you. I’ll make you smile and laugh, I’ll buy you things that make me think of you, I’ll hug you tight and cuddle you until you’re complaining.

So in case it wasn’t obvious enough, I love you. I just want you to know because I know I suck at telling you, like I said. I’m also bad at writing letters but what’s new? I’ll finish this off quickly so you’re not spending too long reading this. Don’t want to make you late for our wedding after all.

I love you. I love you, Jung Hoseok. I love you, Hobi. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Lots and lots and lots of love, your soon to be wife <333333

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