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#but it's fine
bbbbbbbbatman · 11 months
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JL sets up a betting pool to see who can get Superman to say "fuck" first. Everybody gets so intense about this, but no matter what they do, they cannot get him to say anything worse than hell. Bruce is so tired of this, so at a meeting one day he just takes off his cowl and reveals his identity with zero build up or warning and Superman just lets out the loudest "What the fuck?"
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thedemonscrawler · 1 year
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The Lights on! Light’s off! zine is finally released, so I can share my page from it!
Here’s the link to the free PDF file, there are so many good artists and writers in it, go check it out! 
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woellow · 4 months
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sisteradelaide · 6 months
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Sir, this is a Wendy's
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bright-omens · 9 months
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I am now hyperfixating on ineffable bureaucracy in an attempt to fill the void left in my heart by ineffable husbands
Just look at them
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I have v e r y mixed feelings about Gabriel, but I love Beelzebub and how soft they are with Gabriel and how soft Gabriel is with them. Their dynamic just makes me happy
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alarainai · 8 months
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'The world that we were busy building.'
non-magic, neighbour au. wc: 2200
James hates the man who lives in Apartment 23.
Remus likes to remind him that it's impossible to hate someone he's never met – never even seen. But James doesn't need to see him to know that his soul burns with anger just knowing that someone exists in that apartment who seems to be on a mission to make his life utterly miserable.
He wonders if he's done anything to personally offend the faceless, nameless stranger or if the mystery man is just a sadist who plans to drive James mad by pettiness and passive-aggressive actions.
It all started with a cat.
James is allergic to cats.
So when he found a Calico sitting on his balcony – a balcony three stories high, mind you – he was at a little bit of a loss on how to react. It scratched at the glass door and meowed loudly as James just frowned at its existence.
At the time, he believed the apartment next to his own was empty, and he wasn't close to any other place for it to have jumped from.
Except from the balcony above, which was completely possible.
For a moment, he ignored it and went to his upstairs neighbour to see whether or not they had a Calico cat. The denial confused him, and he returned to his apartment, ready to call Remus to collect the thing.
He came back to both his balcony and front door wide open. The cat was gone.
A note was left in its place.
Bring my cat back next time, asshole. Apt. 23.
He had knocked on the door furiously then, yelled through the wood that he didn't even realise anyone lived there – added that whoever they were didn't need to break into his apartment and 'How the hell did you even do it? Can you lockpick?'
James didn't get an answer that day.
But the war had begun.
----
The cat – James now knows her name is Isobel – became a frequent member of James' household. He's had to purchase a large quantity of allergy pills and a large bag of cat food.
He hasn't gotten any thanks for it, naturally. But James isn't mad about this development. He's grown quite attached to the tiny demon who causes his daily sniffles.
In retaliation for half the custody of his neighbours' cat, James has taken to loudly – and terribly - singing in the rooms that share a wall with the mystery asshole.
James knows the annoyance is working when he gets several angry knocks. It only makes James sing louder.
The revenge for James' singing is unwanted deliveries to his door. A choir, cold callers, religious groups, and even a mime once.
James responded by leaving eggs right outside his neighbour's door. He heard violent swearing and various threats, but when he looked out his door to mock, only broken shells and yolk were left in the hallway.
It seems to be a back-and-forth between them without an end in sight. James simply refuses to back down, even when he comes home from work one day to find a litter tray on his balcony from his neighbour once again breaking into his apartment.
He's half tempted to call the landlord; he gets kitty litter instead.
For a while, James wonders if this is his life now. Doomed in an eternal battle with an unknown entity.
It's a surprise then when Isobel is absent for a few days. The bigger shock comes from the knock he gets at 3 in the afternoon on a Saturday. He's not expecting a guest – although he half anticipates it being another prank from his neighbour.
If it is a prank, it's not a very good one. The man at his door is the most beautiful person he's ever seen.
He's staring at him with wide, desperate grey eyes, and his skin is lightly flushed around his cheeks. Black curls frame sharp cheekbones, freckles are scattered across his skin. His lips are slightly parted – breathless like he's been running. He's shockingly gorgeous and too good to be at his door.
It's only then that James notices Isobel in this man's arms. Realisation dawns on him.
"You're number 23," he breathes in awe.
23 ignores him, "Isobel is sick," he says. "And my car... it's – I need to take her to the vet right now."
James has half a mind to tell him to fuck off after the hell he's put him through. Another part of him just wants to ask him for his number.
But his rational side takes in his words, and his gaze drifts down to look at Isobel again. She's quiet in 23's arms, eyes closed with shallow breath.
"Shit, okay. We can take my car."
He quickly turns, grabbing his keys and wallet before leading 23 back out of the war and towards the car park. Isobel doesn't kick up a fuss while they're driving, nor when James hastily pulls into the vets his neighbour has led him to.
He parks up while 23 runs ahead, cradling Isobel to his chest.
James' heart aches. He has grown awfully fond of her.
As he walks in, he sees 23 at the reception desk. He looks frantic.
"I just told you. She has insurance!"
"I'm sorry, sir. But it says the insurance was cancelled by a Mr. Orion Black."
James watches' as 23's face falls, and he looks between the receptionist and Isobel with a lost expression. And James knows this man is a bastard; honestly, he does! But that Calico has always been well-loved, and his neighbour looks incredibly broken.
"Please... she-"
"How much?" James interrupts.
Both the receptionist and 23 turn to look at him. The receptionist wordlessly passes him the card machine. He tries not to wince at the number and scratches at Isobel's ear before entering his card and paying in full.
"Thank you, sir," the receptionist says politely, pulling the card machine back, "Please take a seat. Mister Dearborn will call you through shortly."
James nods thanks and walks over to the fairly empty waiting area, knowing 23 isn't too far behind. The plastic green chairs aren't exactly comfortable, but James doesn't complain. Instead, he looks as 23 sits beside him and cradles Isobel.
He looks uncertain. Uncomfortable.
"Thank you," 23 says softly, "You didn't need to do that."
James grins, "Eh, what are neighbours for."
Not for paying that ridiculous amount on Pet Bills, that's for sure. But James makes enough money. Besides, he's been looking after that cat for months. Might as well contribute to some health bills, too.
With the wait, he has time to look at the man from apartment 23. He can't be much younger than James is, although the dark circles under his eyes and his slightly dry skin suggest he doesn't know the meaning of good sleep and proper hydration. James thinks he might look like someone out of a Tim Burton movie at the right angle.
He shouldn't be that infatuated with it.
"I thought you'd be older."
23 frowns at him, "What?"
"With your attitude and obviously appalling taste in music," James explains with a hand wave, "I was expecting you to be a middle-aged Scrooge kind of guy. You're a surprise..."
He pauses, waiting for a name.
23 rolls his eyes, "Regulus."
"Good to finally meet you, Regulus. I'm James."
"Hi," Regulus says dryly, "And I don't have appalling taste in music. You're just a terrible singer." 
James gasps in mock indignation, "You wound me. I thought they were beautiful serenades to my beautiful rival neighbour."
"Must you sing every morning, though?"
"Yeah. I need to make sure you're sufficiently irritated."
Regulus laughs. It's a slight, restricted noise – like he's not used to laughing out loud. His skin turns a darker shade of pink, and James finds him grinning. It's actually quite annoying. How can his opinion turn so quickly just because he sees a boy with pretty eyes?
He wonders if that makes him shallow.
He decides he doesn't care.
It seems like Regulus is going to say something in response when Isobel's name is called. Regulus stands, facing James with a small frown, as though he wants to ask for more but doesn't know how to do it. James thinks that his neighbour may simply lack social etiquette.
"I'll wait here," James reassures him.
And then he's gone.
James can't help but feel worried in Regulus' absence. He knows it's tough to lose a pet, knows that they just become an extended member of the family. It's a scary position to be in – and not knowing just makes it so much worse.
It doesn't take long, however. Soon enough, Regulus is stepping out of the room again. Isobel is still asleep in his arms, but Regulus doesn't seem as scared as before.
James stands.
"Well?"
"Feline upper respiratory infection. Nothing too serious or dangerous," Regulus says with a slight smile. He shakes a small box, "These are just for broader symptoms."
"Alright," James lets out a sigh of relief, "We'll make sure she's medicated when it's needed, then."
Regulus blinks, "We?"
"Of course. We are her parents, after all. Or did you miss the part where she spends just as much time in my apartment as yours? Come alone, Regulus. And lady Isobel!"
James turns and heads back to the car with Regulus behind him. His neighbour shuffles into the passenger seat, arranging Isobel on his lap and making her comfortable before he puts his seatbelt on. James notices Regulus looking at him – like he's a puzzle he can't quite work out.
He's content to let him stare.
As the drive goes on, the silence seems to be getting to him.
"I've been horrible to you," Regulus murmurs, "You didn't have to help me."
James hums, "What can I say? I'm a sucker for a pretty boy in distress."
Regulus opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again, failing to give any sort of retort. Eventually, he gives up, and they head home to the sound of a slight purr from the Calico on Regulus' lap.
----
Weeks past. Pranks and despising each other is a thing of the past, thanks to Isobel.
Fever and general illness doesn't stop the cat from switching between apartments whenever she pleases. James keeps his balcony door open, the food bowl full, and the litter tray clean.
The only real change to the entire routine is the presence of Regulus in his life.
He doesn't break in anymore. He knocks and waits.
More often than not, he stays for tea.
And Regulus Black is a wonderful person. James curses himself for not hanging around just to meet him sooner.
He's a student, recently kicked out of his family home with just the clothes on his back and Isobel in his arms. The place he's staying belongs to his brother, who is having an extended holiday with his lover somewhere in Europe with no desire to return.
He's been stressed and struggling – and the feud that James thought was from hatred was actually Regulus' equivalent to human contact.
Regulus is lonely.
Regulus is funny.
Regulus might just be the man of his dreams. But maybe that's because they're raising a cat together. James can't presume how the other man feels about him.
During the second month of knowing Regulus, James makes an error.
He wakes up with a heavy weight on his chest, a dry mouth and a stuffy nose. Blinking his eyes open, he sees Isobel asleep on his chest. He realises, rather quite suddenly, that he had forgotten to take his allergy pills before going to bed.
The rest of the morning is unpleasant, feeding Isobel and himself while trying to ignore the symptoms setting in.
He's ran out of meds, his fault, of course. When his door opens and Regulus steps in, James is relieved to have company. Even if Regulus sees him with tissues to his face and watery eyes.
Regulus frowns at him. "Are you sick?"
"No," James says with a laugh, blowing his nose, "I'm just allergic to cats. I forgot to take my pills this morning."
His neighbour's face turns carefully blank.
"You're allergic to cats."
James blinks, "Didn't I mention?"
Regulus tries again, taking several steps forward, "You're allergic to cats, but you're still doing everything for Isobel?”
"Well, yeah? What do you – mmph!"
Suddenly, lips are pressed against his, and he has a warm body pressed against his own. It's not a pleasant first kiss by any means, especially with the way James simply cannot breathe due to a clogged nose, and his lips are definitely too dry to be nice.
But the enthusiasm and desperation from both of them nearly makes up for it.
Regulus pulls back and gives him a small disgusted expression, "I'll get you some allergy meds, you absolute moron."
James grins, wide and adoring, "You love me."
An eye roll, "I guess you're okay. For a shit neighbour."
Regulus leaves to get him some meds. James refills the cat bowl. Isobel purrs at his toes and looks pleased with herself.
He has a feeling they won't need to share custody of the Calico anymore.
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whoisspence · 1 month
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✧ happy birthday matthew !!
: ̗̀➛ another year and the pretty boy is only getting prettier
44 years of lighting up every room you walk in, you make this world a better place everyday with your heart of gold, keep blessing us with your many talents and keep brightening up the days of everyone who's lucky enough to cross paths with you ♡
like emily dickinson said "we turn not older with years, but newer everyday"
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s1nful-sa1nt · 3 months
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very unhappy with how her blaster rifle is turning out but i'm trusting the process
but yeah after literal months of doing fuck all i've finally made a bit more progress
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hi honey, you look lovely
those hairdressers know nothing, you are absolutely radiant with that hair
Thank you so much!! That's so lovely of you to say xx
In gratitude, have these chats with @howmanyholesinswisscheese when I got back home and had to take an anti-allergen:
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You're welcome good omens fandom xoxo
AND DON'T YOU ALL SAY A WORD TO ME, DURING THIS CONVERSATION ABOUT REPTILIAN PENISES, ARTHUR FOUND OUT THAT HEMIPENIS IS A TAG ON AO3 AND THERE ARE FICS. FOR A FANDOM ABOUT THE BIBLE, Y'ALL ARE CURSED. I'M JUST REPRESENTING YOU ACCURATELY AS YOUR MASCOT.
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avengers-rule103 · 1 year
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but like.... has anyone talked about how those moments before anything happens can be so sexy? even if nothing does end up happening. the slow removal of each of their armour, the knives, the gloves, asking if he can touch her with his bare hand even when it's still over her clothes, the hands and fingers hovering so torturingly close, their lips so close it takes so much will power not to give in, being able to feel their breath, to feel them right there.
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this scene has been living in my head rent free since i first watched it for all of the reasons listed above. this is one of the sexiest scenes i have ever freaking watched. i am in awe.
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myymi · 2 months
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Wholesome prompt: sonic teaching tails how to play guitar?
word count-971
ao3 link
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“Dude, this isn't rocket science.” Sonic said, laughing at the confused look on his brother's face as he repositioned the younger’s fingers again.
“Of course not. Rocket science is easier than this.” Tails grumbled, shifting to sit in a more comfortable position.
“You're being dramatic.” The hedgehog rolled his eyes before plucking the same three cords again to remind the kid of the melody. “It's not hard. It shouldn't even hurt, your fingers are destroyed.”
“It doesn't hurt.” The fox mumbled, pulling at the first string. He frowned at the guitar, “Even if it did, that's not the problem.”
“Then what is?” Sonic asked, gently placing his paw to cut off the noise. The younger seemed to shrink into himself at the fact his hero's attention was now fully on him.
Tails debated with himself on whether he should talk about his concerns. He ended up deciding against it and gave the guitar back to its owner. “Nothing.”
“If it's nothing then why are you giving my guitar back?” Sonic asked, raising a brow as he nudged the instrument back towards the other.
“Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal.” The kit said, setting the guitar in his brother's lap before standing up. “I should get back to working on the weapon upgrades for the Cyclone anyway. I still—” He was cut off by his own yip when his wrist was grabbed and pulled, landing him right in the hedgehog’s lap.
“Not today, kiddo.” Sonic shook his head as his arms banded around the fox's middle, the guitar laying on the floor of the workshop beside them. “I won't force you to learn it, you know that, but you seemed excited about it when you asked me to teach you. What's going on?”
Tails groaned at the tone of the older’s voice. He leaned his head back against the teens shoulder, “It's stupid.” He grumbled, “Seriously, I–”
“What did we talk about with that?” The kit bit his lip at that and started to fidget with his fingers. The older sighed, one of his paws gently taking the younger’s two to stop him, “If it's bothering you, it isn't stupid. Not to me.”
Tails stared at the paw atop of his own for a few quiet seconds as he argued with his own brain. He knew he wasn't winning this fight, so might as well let it play out. “I play the violin.”
“..Okay?” Sonic hesitated to answer, not having expected that. “What about it?”
“I looked it up. It's easier to learn guitar than to learn violin.” The kit explained, letting one of his tails drape across his lap as the other wrapped around the hedgehog. “And yet I keep screwing up the basics that I already know from violin.”
Sonic thought on it for a minute, his eyes trailing around the room before they landed on a cupboard. “Maybe we need to treat you like a true beginner, then.” He said, setting the fox on the ground before running to the cupboard to search through it.
“But I'm not a full beginner.” Tails said, his head tilting to the side in confusion as he watched the older, “Regardless, how are my mints going to help anything?”
“Just trust me, will ya?” The older grunted, pulling out a square package of some mint flavored gum. Tails wasn't crazy about gum, but he kept it so he'd have something to chew that wasn't his lip, tongue, or whatever writing utensil he used.
Tails’ confusion only grew once a stock of gum was presented to him, but he took it anyway, “What do you want me to do with this?”
“Give it a little kiss, Tails.” Sonic teased before rolling his eyes and poking the fox’s nose, “You never eat gum before? Chew it.”
“How does this help anything?” The kid asked as he unwrapped the gum, placing it in his mouth.
“The guy who introduced me to guitar said it helps.” The hedgehog shrugged and tossed the package over to the general area of where the cupboard was, earning an annoyed glare from his little brother.
He didn't pay attention to or though, already zipping off to dig in a new cabinet. He quickly emerged with a pair of headphones, running back over to his original spot and pulling the kid back onto his lap.
“Headphones?” Tails asked, not even bothering to fight against the older’s hold. “How–”
“You learn better when other people can't hear.” Sonic winked at him as he dug his phone out of his shoe, plugging in the headphones.
“How exactly do you plan on teaching if you can't hear when I mess up?” The fox mumbled, his ears twitching at the sound of him chewing the gum.
“Just trust me, kid.” The teen smiled as he turned on his music app, letting the songs shuffle as he handed the guitar back to the fox.
He gently positioned the kit’s finger again before playing the three cords again, resting his chin on the younger’s head.
Tails went to say something, but decided it'd be easier to simply not question his brother's antics. He went to pull the strings, a bit surprised he managed to copy the melody almost exactly. He was just a bit too slow.
He rolled his eyes when he felt the older squeeze him, knowing there was a grin on his face. “Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled despite knowing the hedgehog wouldn't hear him.
“See?” Sonic's voice was elevated now due to the music blasting in his ears, causing Tails’ ear to lower slightly, “Big bro knows best, keed.”
The fox rolled his eyes and elbowed the older in his ribs, but couldn't help the smile that grew when the hedgehog laughed at him.
He had the best, most annoying big brother ever.
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floydsteeth · 11 days
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CLAVIS MY BOY MY MAN MY PRECIOUS MWA MWA MWA MWA LOVE HIM
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Doodles using my new pen :3
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hydrachea · 23 days
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I would like to thank Mihoyo for delivering precisely what I was on my knees praying for with this man.
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I couldn't be happier.
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beeealu · 5 months
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tawaifeddiediaz · 11 months
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he could eat me like that s’mores
[Image ID: four gifs of Eddie Diaz from 9-1-1 episode 6.15, "Death and Taxes." He's in the kitchen after Chris fell asleep before s'mores:
GIF 1: Eddie leaning over a tray of smores, sticking his middle finger n his mouth to lick off the stickiness before he bends to take a big bite.
GIF 2: A continuation of GIF 1, the marshmallow pulling as he lowers the smore, then pulls out a string of marshmallow from his mouth.
GIF 3: A closeup image of Eddie's side profile as he chews, then turns, lifting his finger to his mouth as his mouth falls open.
GIF 4: Eddie sliding his finger into his mouth as he looks downwards, to where the photo of Shannon and Chris has fluttered to the ground.
/end ID]
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avianii · 8 months
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Mav does not approve of said bs
part 1 - rip slider's poptart
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