#but sounds so generic that it's borderline a guilty pleasure

[sortanonymous]

Set this to clown music... and I mean this man in general. (aka Toxic Pea is the worst Kirby YouTuber)

TW: Discussion involving a bigot, primarily around transphobia (and I mean as soon as the first picture), not to mention many other grim topics.

Look, as big a guilty pleasure as hearing of internet squabbling can be, I never wanted to be the one to actually discuss it myself. But I feel like I just needed to get this one out of my system sooner than later.

So in case you didn't know, Toxic Pea is a Kirby YouTuber who uploads tons of memes and lyrical covers of Kirby songs (never liked the idea of those videos btw). He was quite popular until it was revealed in January of this year that he had said the N-word multiple times on Discord even as he was told that it was a horrible thing to say, not to mention tons of other signs of him being a bigot with, at best, practically no respect for LGBTQ+ people, like for example prefacing videos alluding to gay ships by saying that he hates "gender ideology". Also he keeps making weirdly risque and gross jokes over Elfilin, which combined with his other actions somehow does the impossible in making me hate Elfilin even more. The list goes on, but believe me when I say I am far from the first person aware of this nor the one most affected by it, even if the big well-done thread that outed him has since vanished. I admit that I never really saw all of that coming, but honestly I briefly had bad vibes about him way back last spring when, in the wake of the tragedy in Uvadale, he made a YouTube community post basically saying that atheism was far more responsible for mass shootings than mental health or gun laws, and even when someone made a well-thought out reply with a strong counterpoint who happened to say that they were atheist, he opened his reply to that by basically going, "But God is real lol", and even if I believe he wasn't that rude throughout the response (it's an old post so it's either lost or extremely hard to access now), that frankly strikes me as a really douchey thing to say in a discussion like that. (I'm aware that he lives in Spain, assuming that counts for anything at all.)

When that happened and a ton of Kirby YouTubers understandably shunned him, he put out a classic crappy apology and from there has just spent the year as the most deplorable clown on the Kirby side of YouTube. He made jokes in videos about saying the N-word again, sponsered a trend called "Reclaim June" (take a wild guess how they feel about gay people) and questioned why anyone would be proud of being gay or trans, whined about his downfall and his peers disowning him through the classic "I'vE bEeN cAnCeLlEd!!!" talk, became Fortnite buddies with Mirth and defended her with some insufferable "JeSuS fOrGiVeS hEr FoR cReEpInG oN kIdS!!!" bs, and a month ago, after getting torched for using an old meme involving someone who distanced themself from him without their permission, went on a truly baffling, borderline drunk-sounding ramble of a Community Post that included claiming that all of his moments of xenophobia were faked, trying to indoctrinate people into Catholicism (he's that kind of guy as far as using his religion to excuse being such a turd), and randomly saying at the end that he was making a Kirby movie (he's like the fakest Kirby fan ever off his bigotry alone but whatever). (I should mention that he has said multiple times that he is bisexual, and it seems genuine to me. He's even hinted at taking shame in it over his religion and stuff. It's absolutely no excuse for his actions, but I feel like clearing that up as he seems to have some internalized homophobia or something. I've unfortunately heard of gay people being transphobes, and I have indeed heard more recently of bi people being homophobic, so I feel like I should clear that up, especially considering my own misconceptions earlier.)

That leads us to today when he reacted to people's distaste for him by first acting as if him being Asian had anything to do with it and acting like he's being crucified for nothing. He then claims he loves trans people like any Christian neighbor would before immediately breaking out into a diatribe about how much he pities trans people and how they are inherently sinful for "mutilating the body that God gave them for his/her ego" and that he's just as bad as them? Like he occasionally complains about people viewing Christians as inherently hateful people, but frankly he's doing nothing to help that image for the many good Christians who I can't help but feel bad for, the ones who practice their faith while not being hateful crapheads over it. Not to mention that he still has several people sticking up for him and occasionally even indulging in more explicit hate that makes him look that much more like an enabler. (There's admittedly not much that's too hateful, but there's a rare not-moved commenter under that post trying to counter his crap about transitioning being a sin through some half-decent house metaphor, and it turned into a long thread that included one dipcrap throwing out the T-slur, just to show how uncomfortable they could be.)

So yeah, Toxic Pea, true to his name, is a toxic pea-brain who sucks. Don't interact with him. I admittedly have some bile fascination in seeing how this mess evolves (if that's a bad thing, then let me know), but it's really unfortunate and honestly baffling how a franchise like Kirby can have such ignorant, hateful "fans". (Like it's not quite as oxymoronic as the concept of a homophobic Steven Universe fan, but it's up there.) So again, don't listen to this twat, and if this is news to you and you liked him, then I'm sorry I had to be the bearer of bad news for you.

(Edit: I don't know if this is too late too matter, but I'd like to apologize about my frankly close-minded response to his bisexuality, because it does seem genuine and that he's even so in on his belief of homosexuality being a sin that he feels ashamed about it, which may well be internalized homophobia. It's not at all an excuse or a justification for his actions, but I felt bad for being so close-minded about that aspect of him.)

#kirby fandom drama #kirby #worst kirby youtuber ever #toxic pea is the worst #transphobes #i'm really sorry you had to see this on my account

[anabotti]

the more i listen to it, the more the intro sounds like a bop 14 y/o me would have been jamming to

#i mean me now is jamming it #but sounds so generic that it's borderline a guilty pleasure #Darwin's Game

[deafchild2000]

Lizzie Saltzman Was Wrongly Diagnosed as Bipolar When She Really Has Borderline Personality Disorder

When it comes to Legacies, I admit as a blogger, I didn't post a lot about Lizzie Saltzman. Either if I do, it's using her #Lizzie Saltzman tag to bring other people to relevance to my Legacies posts, Inheritance fanfiction, highlighting what she did wrong (and not blaming it on Bipolar Disorder), or connecting her with anti Josie posts.

This is one part of the last one but also explores Lizzie.

I'm guilty of a bit of ableism, but only joking with my mom by saying she's bipolar when she suffers from Depression with OCD - long story (which isn't technically wrong since both are under the umbrella term of "Depression").

Owning up to that, as a writer, I do serious research whenever I contemplate writing a character with a mental disability.

Lizzie Saltzman is a piece of work in Legacies and I find her growth fascinating when it comes to comparing her from season 4 to season 1 (and early/late Originals and The Vampire Diaries).

To be frank, she's bossy rude, self-centered, selfish, and a lot more I won't bother to add. However, she's sensitive, caring, honest, willing, and progressive in fighting against her brain chemistry. That growth is something I find rather appreciative in a story about being supernatural and dealing with mental health.

So, looking back at her episodes and comparing it to my restarch, I initially though I was wrong and something got lost in translation, but after double checking and realizing our lovely Legacies fans & Lizzie stans on Tumblr caught it too, I reached a conclusion:

Elizabeth Jenna Saltzman does NOT have Bipolar Disorder!

It's too obvious now, that Julie had the idea for Lizzie having it but not committing to the symptoms right, much less say what TYPE of BP she has!

Looking at it, if she had BP, it would be type 2.

For example, in a related yet unrelated comparison, one character from a show who's acted our the correct symptoms of Bipolar Disorder was Eliott Demaury from Skam France. Now, I don't watch the show, per se, but fanvids filled me in, and watching the scenes where his disability is shown fits everything all my textbook researched to a T! Especially the boat scene, if ya'll Skam fans know what I'm talking about!

Bipolar symptoms:

Mood: mood swings, anxiety, deep sadness, euphoria, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, or loss of interest or pleasure in activities

Behavioral: compulsive behavior, impulsivity, irritability, restlessness, or self-harm

Cognitive: lack of concentration, racing thoughts, slowness in activity, or thoughts of suicide

Sleep: excess sleepiness or insomnia

Psychological: depression or grandiosity

Also common: rapid and frenzied speaking

See? Simple, easy to see in Lizzie, and if you were a half decent writer, easy to pick out for your character.

But handpicking out symptoms doesn't always work.

Yes, there are differences between men and women woman with bipoplar disorder, but as a writer, I don't play with statistics unless I created odds that meet my favors.

What do I mean? Here are two of the main differences that stick out like a sore thumb: Regardless of gender BP surfaces in, men discover their diagnosis 5 years earlier (the early 20s) than women (late 20s) & Women with BP are frequently misdiagnosed! While children as young as 5 can be diagnosed with as young as 5, there's only a guess that she was diagnosed once her age started hitting double digits!

Meanwhile...

Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental disorder characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. Something that sounds more in line and more narrow in ages for young children when it refers to Lizzie. And considering the symptoms (list below) overlap with BP, it's easy to reduce how she could have been misdiagnosed!

Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms:

Behavioral: antisocial behavior, compulsive behavior, hostility, impulsivity, irritability, risk taking behaviors, self-destructive behavior, self-harm, social isolation, or lack of restraint

Mood: anger, anxiety, general discontent, guilt, loneliness, mood swings, or sadness

Psychological: depression, distorted self-image, grandiosity, or narcissism

Also common: thoughts of suicide

Notice that mania isn't on the list. Wanna know why? Because:

"Borderline personality disorder involves a longstanding pattern of abrupt, moment-to-moment swings -- in moods, relationships, self-image, and behavior (in contrast to distinct episodes of mania or depression in people with bipolar disorder) that are usually triggered by conflicts in interactions with other people."

So if you just happened to be that witch who made the new werewolf student at your school uncomfortable - and downright said your happy he killed his girlfriend to be able to meet you - and took it out by rampaging on your boarding school's kitchenware and stopping yourself just in time before nearly cutting down your father?

Then, your name is Lizzie Saltzman!

Looking back at this scene in 1x01 in a BPD perspective and not a BP perspective, backed by the fact we (the viewers) don't know she's actually Bipolar by 1x10 and referenced again in 1x12.

Which was either intentional or they had no idea whether to write her as bipolar until later!

And since BPD has types, I'd believe Lizzie suffers from Discouraged Borderline Personality Disorder.

Discouraged Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms:

mood swings that can last for as little as a few hours, or up to a few days, but no one else can see them

suppressing feelings of anger or denying that you feel angry

withdrawing when you’re upset

avoiding talking to others who have upset you and cutting them off instead

blaming yourself whenever there’s a conflict

persistent feelings of guilt and shame

having a “thin skin” and taking things personally

extremely poor self-esteem

feeling like you’re a burden to others

feelings of numbness or emptiness

feeling detached from the world and sometimes feeling like you’re in a dream (derealization)

people-pleasing, even at a cost to yourself

deep-seated fear of rejection

social anxiety and self-isolation

fear of being alone, yet pushing people away at the same time

inability to build connections with others (depersonalization)

self-harm or suicidal thoughts

Acting inward can complicate an already invisible mental illness. With quiet BPD, you may direct significant feelings toward yourself without letting others see them. Such intense emotions may include:

anger

anxiety

emotional attachments/obsessions

fear of abandonment or rejection

mood swings

self-blame and guilt

severe self-doubt

rage

And of course, with a misdiagnosis as big as this, there's bound to be consequences, and who do I point at to state the explosive setbacks:

This girl here! Caroline's gone and Alaric is busy being everyone's parent, so this girl who makes ableist comments left and right shares half of the blame. Not to mention her issues left Lizzie unable to have a life without her!

The other half?

🔽

There's a myriad of reasons why people would not take their meds and if Lizzie's episodes are anything to go by, I'd say not just bad med but incorrect medication would make Lizzie worst!

#Lizzie Saltzman #alaric saltzman #josie saltzman #legacies #anti josie saltzman #bipolar disorder #BP #borderline personality disorder

[sleepawaywriting]

Mornings, Part I

[Piers x Reader, NSFW]

okay so this is half domestic headcanons, half unadulterated horniness. i love the goth boy okay I JUST WANT HIM TO GET SOME SLEEP.

NSFW (18+) UNDER THE CUT

You learn a lot about a person by sleeping with them. In your case, literally. Sleeping next to someone can be an exercise in trust, as it can be extremely vulnerable, and potentially disastrous. After all, you never know who you truly are while asleep until someone is there to bear witness. You could see everything: their nightly routine, their little habits and quirks. What did they prefer to wear, if they wore anything at all? How did they wind down? How did they get comfortable? Did they read? Listen to music? Did they prefer one pillow, or two, or ten? Did they surround themselves in a cocoon of blankets, or sleep completely uncovered, mocking the monsters under the bed? Did they stir at the slightest disturbance, or could they sleep through the end of the world? Were they restless in their slumber, or still as the grave? Did they snore? Did they talk? Did they steal blankets in the night, or did they cling to their partners? You personally found all of these details fascinating. It was as if the other person was sharing a special part of themselves, a part not too often seen by others.

You especially appreciated it now, as you dozed in-and-out of consciousness on a warm, cozy Sunday morning, lying entangled in the slender arms of your loving boyfriend. Your mind tended to wander on mornings like this, when you had no duties, no obligations, and could simply bask in the comforting presence of your slumbering musician. You thought it was funny, how you personally had very little change in your own sleeping habits since dating the ex-Gym Leader, despite your newly-inherited responsibilities as the Champion of Galar. Piers, on the other hand, had gone through an entire circadian metamorphosis since the two of you became intimate. Before you had moved into his flat in Spikemuth—a shocking and borderline scandalous development in your relationship, as far as the tabloids were concerned (you rarely paid them too much mind)—and before he had stepped down as Spikemuth’s Gym Leader, you were amazed if he managed to sleep more than four hours a night. You had an idea of how rarely he slept before you started dating—after all, why else would he send you texts in the dead of night and wee hours of the morning? But it wasn’t until after the two of you began sleeping together that you fully understood the extent of Piers’ problems. He had insomnia, that much was clear, and tended to become restless in the hours that you normally retired to bed. He claimed that all of his best ideas came to him late in the night, and would spend hours scribbling in his trusty journal while you cluelessly snoozed away next to him. Upon discovering this, you felt somewhat guilty, but he assuaged your worries by waxing poetic about how your soothing presence provided him with endless inspiration—that even while asleep, you helped organize his frenzied, haphazard thoughts long enough to translate them into song (and no matter how many times he admitted it, hearing how much you effected his music never failed to make you blush like a starstruck teen).

After moving in together, and as your domestic routines began to blend, so did your sleeping habits. It was surprisingly easy to get Piers into bed with you, you discovered. You simply had to tip-toe down to his basement studio and subdue him with a gentle kiss to the neck, along with some soft words teasing the shell of his ear. Though your schedules were not entirely in sync, as you had very different jobs, your sleepless songbird was finally getting some well-deserved rest. Gone were the mornings spent opening Spikemuth’s Gym, and spending most of the day prepping Gym Trainers, training Pokemon, and fighting rambunctious, overly-confident Gym Challengers, who often underestimated the rockstar’s abilities, much to your frustration. Now that he was a full-time musician, his workday didn't begin until late into the afternoon, and his concerts would often go late into the night. During your busiest times, when your Champion duties required you to be up at sunrise, you would have to bow out early most nights, feeling guilty when you could only support your boyfriend’s gigs about half of the time. Of course, in typical Piers fashion, he was endlessly understanding, and there was nothing quite as sweet as the feeling of going to bed alone, only to wake up and find him exhaustedly cuddled up next you, face buried into your chest or the small of your back (along with your menagerie of Pokemon, which, due to many of them being simultaneously competitive and cuddly, the two of you had to make a schedule for which Pokemon got to share the bed on certain nights).

You never expected Piers to be such a massive cuddler, but you very much welcomed it. At the beginning of your relationship, you suspected that Piers was averse to touch, as he tended to tense or not entirely reciprocate when you first began kissing or embracing him. You soon discovered that this was far from the truth, and that the poor guy simply wasn’t used to the type of affection you so enthusiastically showered upon him. Once the two of you lived together, it became increasingly obvious that he adored and craved your touch, often snuggling up against you and draping his arms around you when asleep. You also learned, that despite having trouble falling asleep, once Piers was securely in dreamland, it was almost impossible to wake him. On most mornings, escaping his Bewear-like grasp was your first Champion challenge of the day. On top of being a heavy sleeper, he was also a heavy sleep-talker. This rarely bothered you, in fact, you enjoyed having full conversations with him while he was none the wiser, with topics ranging from Marnie’s homework, Obstagoon’s yearly PokeCenter check-up, scheduling future gigs (he often mistook you for his manager in his sleep-addled stupor), and other silly, mundane things. He never remembered any of it, no matter how much you tried to jog his memory (he once mumbled out an imaginary itinerary for your future wedding—you never told him this, but it was a secret you held near and dear to your heart). There were many mornings where you would lie next to him, mindlessly scrolling through your phone or checking your emails, only for him to jolt half-awake, ask you, groggily, to write something down (usually an idea for a song), then immediately plop back down onto his pillow, snoring comically.

Those mornings were much like this one: quiet, unassuming—where you would debate for several minutes on whether you were gracious enough to let him sleep in, or impatient enough to wake him. You weren’t exactly in a hurry to get out of bed, as this was one of your rare days off, and the warmth radiating from Piers’ body, the welcoming scent of his lingering cologne, and the light pitter-patter of rain on the roof of the massive structure overhanging Spikemuth was enough to tempt you back into sleep. Your head rested under your boyfriend’s chin, your face close to the base of his neck, and you gently brought one hand up to trace a finger along the smooth metal of his collar, which he rarely removed. You weren’t sure if it was because he never wanted to, or if he simply forgot it was there, and either sounded like him, if you were being honest. Yawning quietly, you nudged your head back, wanting to get a better view of Piers’ sleeping face. Your bedroom happened to have a window facing the outside of Spikemuth’s container, allowing the diffused morning light to bathe your room in an overcast veil. He seemed to be sleeping soundly, despite his perpetually-grumpy expression still present, if somewhat more relaxed. You smiled to yourself, remembering when you first admitted to him, early in your friendship, that you assumed he hated you because of how he always seemed to look annoyed around you. “Hate to break it to ya, love, but that’s just my face,” he said then, making you feel embarrassed for assuming the worst about him, but also somewhat flustered that he referred to you as “love”. Back then, you wanted to write it off as one of his many Spikemuth-isms—that perhaps it was just a more casual nickname where he was from—but here you were, proven wrong.

Sighing softly, you looked over his sleeping form, admiring the way the stormy glow highlighted his features. You had always found him both incredibly adorable and handsome, despite the things he would say about himself in hushed tones on his worst days. His large, sad blue eyes, though closed for now, paired nicely with his high cheek bones and dark, striking eyebrows. You drew the tip of your index finger down the bridge of his nose, slightly crooked from the handful of times he had broken it in his youth, through back-alley scuffles and far-too-wild concerts. You tried not to giggle when the muscles in his face twitched as you reached the tip, giving it an extra boop for good measure. And, of course, you loved his mouth, the way his lips felt so soft and inviting against your own, the way they curled into the most adorable little smiles. The way they felt against your skin, at your wrists, the dip of your neck, across your shoulders, between your breasts, down your stomach, flush against your sensitive, needy heat, along with his overly-generous tongue.

Oh.

Suddenly and without warning, you really wanted him. Biting your lip, you didn’t wish to disturb the musician’s peaceful slumber, nor did you want him to spend the energy on reciprocating, which you knew he would insist upon (it was difficult to get him to be the least bit selfish about his own pleasure). Not to mention, you were still fairly groggy yourself, but you were equally as longing for your boyfriend, and the way his body would react to your loving, methodical touches, the way his beautiful voice would sound upon waking up in the throes of pleasure. Then, you remembered something. It was an idea the two of you had discussed before, whispers of heated fantasies in the dead of night, something that you had been waiting to act upon, but only at the right time, when it would truly be a surprise. Well, now was as good a time as any, you thought, smiling mischievously to yourself.

Ever-so-slowly, you wriggled out of Piers’ all-encompassing grasp, trying desperately not to laugh at how ridiculous you looked—arms firmly pressed to your sides, legs squeezed together, shifting yourself to-and-fro like a newly-hatched Caterpie. Once free, you sat up on your knees, careful to not shake the bed with your movements. Next came the difficult part, you thought, as he was on his side, and you needed him to be on his back for your plan to work. Placing one hand gently on his shoulder, and the other on his hip, you subtly began nudging him onto his back. You almost startled when he suddenly moved, shifting onto his back of his own accord. You winced internally, fully prepared for him to stir awake and be reasonably confused as to why you were leaning over him, but he quickly settled back into sleep, completely oblivious to the waking world. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, smiling at the silly, dramatic, sprawled-out position you boyfriend had assumed.

Carefully, you straddled his waist, making sure to place most of your weight onto your knees. Since the weather was getting warmer, even in the rainy, coastal town of Spikemuth, the both of you were sparsely clothed, with Piers completely bare, save for a thin pair of briefs. Looking him over, you watched the slow rise-and-fall of his chest, and admired the way his long, thick, two-toned hair cascaded down his pillow, descending into rivulets of stark white and midnight black against your bedsheets. He had just showered the previous night, which meant it was extra soft and fluffy, and just messy enough to make him look even more attractive, without risk of becoming a tangled mess. From your angle, you took the time to appreciate his slender frame, which you found endlessly attractive. You loved everything about him, from his prominent collarbones, to his flat chest, to the slight indents of his ribcage traveling down to the smooth plane of his abdomen, punctuated by his sharp hip bones. It took everything in you to not draw your hands up his torso, feeling every muscle and the occasional edge of bone beneath your eager touch. You frowned slightly, remembering how he would occasionally jab at himself, stating that he looked like a skeleton or a walking corpse at times. Though you knew he was joking, at least for the most part, you were adamant on reminding him just how much you adored his body, which was something that simultaneously baffled and flattered him. Your effortless and brutally honest compliments never failed to turn him sheepish, avoiding your gaze and hiding his warm cheeks behind his long, thick bangs. And you would keep reminding him, again and again, that he was plenty attractive, even if you needed to give him a a few more hands-on demonstrations to prove it, which you were more than happy to provide.

Taking a deep breath, you leaned over him, slowly placing your hands on either side of his head. Leaning down, you simply couldn’t resist brushing your lips against his own, just the softest, feather-light touch, holding yourself back from diving in and kissing him blissfully awake. Moving down, you grazed your lips across his neck, planting a gentle kiss at the base, right beneath his choker, noting the faint, yet sharp scent of leftover hair product, and the smooth, silky scent of mild soap. You left a trail of soft kisses across his collarbone, smiling into his skin as you noticed goosebumps appearing at your touch, then moved down to his chest, leaving a few kisses over his sternum before boldly swiping your tongue over one of his nipples. He flinched, and you looked up at his face, fearing the worst, but he simply turned his head to the side and settled back into sleep, breathing deeply. You could have imagined it, but you thought his cheeks took on a slightly rosy tint, contrasting with his normally pale complexion.

Continuing your journey downward, you lavished his soft belly with loving kisses and the occasional warm, gentle sweep of your tongue. Reaching the top of his hips, you nuzzled the soft, dark hair trailing down from his navel into the waistband of his briefs, before shifting your body down between his knees. You gingerly spread his thighs apart with your fingertips, lying down onto your stomach and slowly shimmying yourself forward, fitting comfortably between his long legs. Kissing up his soft inner thighs, you began to apply more pressure, teasing the sensitive skin with the edges of your teeth. You journeyed further upward, sucking on a particularly sensitive patch of skin that made his legs twitch beneath you. Hearing him exhale, you looked up, noticing as his breathing became slightly more labored. With a satisfied grin, you reached up with one hand, lightly palming the growing bulge beneath the soft fabric of his briefs. You adored the way Piers’ body reacted to even the slightest, most teasing touches, and the fact that you could make him feel so good so easily was a massive turn-on. It certainly helped boost your confidence—not to mention, seeing the handsome musician thoroughly enjoy himself never failed to make you weak in the knees.

It only took a few moments for your boyfriend to grow hard and wanting beneath your ministrations. You released him from his briefs, taking a moment to admire his cock in all its unapologetic glory. You suddenly remembered his reaction to you the first time you saw it. You must have been making some kind of face, because he immediately interjected with, “It’s not that big, is it?”, to which you replied, “Oh, ‘It’s not that big, is it?’,”  playfully mocking his accent for good measure, “Mr. Humble over here with ‘It’s not that big’. Seriously?” you smiled and rolled your eyes as your boyfriend laughed. You then told him it was pretty, which made him laugh even harder, but you were being completely serious. It was big, as in long, but not too girthy, and as pale as he was, save for the last half, which was flushed pink (it was actually quite similar to the rest of him, now that you thought about it). It also never failed to make you feel so full and satisfied, hitting all the spots inside of you that made you whimper and squirm. You wanted to be re-acquainted, preferably soon, but for now, you had other plans.

You decided to tease him a little more before fully indulging yourself, drawing the soft pad of your index finger up the underside of his shaft before circling it around the tip, taking your sweet time to feel every dip and curve. His breathing grew heavier, and now you could see that his cheeks were fully flushed, his brow tensing slightly as you all but tickled his aching cock. Licking a stripe up your hand, you gently wrapped it around him, keeping your grip loose enough as to not overwhelm his senses right away. Stroking him slowly, you lavished the rest with gentle kisses, reveling in the way his hips twitched and his breath stuttered once you began swirling your tongue around the tip. He was so warm, and you felt him throb beneath your hand, his hips practically jolting in place when you gave the tip a generous squeeze. You briefly wondered if he was dreaming, and if so, if he was dreaming about you.

Watching, enamored, as the tip began to leak clear pre-cum, you felt a hunger welling up deep within your chest and between your legs. You slowly began to take him into your mouth, securely holding his hips down in case he unconsciously thrusted up inside of you (though you weren’t opposed to the idea, you didn’t want him to wake up to the sound of you gagging). You took him down about half way, before delaying his gratification by withdrawing and, again, swirling your tongue around the tip. His entire body shifted this time, a soft, tired, breathless moan escaping his lips, sending a sharp pang of arousal deep into your lower belly. Your brain grew foggy, a wave of lust and adoration clouding your thoughts as you took him all the way, brow furrowed in concentration, wrangling in your gag reflex once the tip hit the back of your throat. He moaned again, and if it wasn’t the most beautiful, erotic sound. His voice was already gorgeous under normal circumstances, but especially in the morning, when it was tinged with the slightest bit of gravel and honey-like richness. It made you feel hopelessly needy, your own arousal, slick and hot, pooling between your thighs.

You continued with the same action, slowly taking him until he hit the back of your throat, then withdrawing, listening intently to the way his moans became more haggard and desperate—until about the fifth time, when you pulled him in completely, daring to swallow around him and practically choke yourself on his cock. You heard him gasp, a startled moan escaping him as you felt a hand grip the back of your head. Well, good morning, you thought, trying not to smile or laugh with a cock stuffed halfway down your throat. You drew up off of him, your eyes connecting with his sparkling blue ones, his pupils blown wide, noting how his adorable flush had spread up to his ears and down his neck. Before he could say anything, you took him again, setting a more intense pace now that he was awake.

“Fuck—,” he groaned loudly, hips stuttering as he carded his long, slender fingers through your hair, his other hand clinging to the one holding his hip. You laced your fingers through his own as you drew up off of him again, sucking on the tip almost obscenely before licking a firm stripe up the underside of his shaft.

“So good, love,” he praised, shuddering as he threw his head back onto the pillows, taking a handful of your hair and tugging slightly. Pulling him back into the slick heat of your mouth, you moaned around him, his breathless praise making your heart flutter. Feeling him throb inside of you, you moaned again, breathing out through your nose, before bracing yourself and taking him as far as you could go, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. He practically convulsed, making a delicious choked, startled noise when you felt him spill down your throat—hot, musky, and not entirely unpleasant. He held your head firm to him as he rode out his orgasm, a string of curses, praises, and broken moans leaving his exhausted body, before you tapped him twice on the hip, indicating that you needed to breathe.

“Ah, sorry—!” he startled, releasing you as you practically gasped for air, settling back onto your knees. He leaned up, reaching out to cradle your face with one hand, drawing a thumb along your cheekbone before hooking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His gentle touch made you shudder, closing your eyes as you steadied your breathing. Upon hearing your name, you opened them again, your heart swelling at your boyfriend’s tired gaze and dopey, lovestruck grin.

“I… I just—,” he started, stumbling over his syllables, drawing a hand back through his messy hair, “You— you’re so— ah, fuck it,” he gave up on words and decided to just pull you up into his lap instead. You laid on top of him, chest flush against his own as he drew you into a lazy, tender kiss, and you couldn’t help but hum at the way he slid his tongue lovingly between your lips. Cradling your chin, he broke the kiss, staring deep into your eyes.

“I love you,” he practically whispered, and you felt your face heat under his intense gaze. Suddenly feeling shy, despite the filthy things you just did to him, you hid your face into the crook of his neck.

“I… I love you too,” you squeaked. He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you, and you could feel the vibrations of his voice beneath your flushed cheeks.

Sighing, you settled into him, listening to the rain and breathing in his warm scent as he came down from his high. You had almost dozed off again when he suddenly spoke.

“Ya know, if ya want me to do somethin’ for ya, I could—“

“Not right now,” you hummed, pressing a soft kiss to his neck, “Can we just stay like this, for a while?”

“Of course,” he replied, voice gentle and smooth as silk. He felt you smile against him, before you yawned dramatically, nuzzling further into him. He began tracing soothing circles into your back, sending tingles down your spine, and you quickly fell asleep to the sound of his breathing.

#piers x reader #piers pokemon x reader #piers #piers pokemon #swsh #pokemon sword #pokemon shield #pokemon piers x reader #pokemon piers #pokemon

[keatondj]

My Personal Ranking of Lady Gaga’s Discography

The time has come. The day has arrived. I am so excited to finally do this list!

Lady Gaga is one of the most influential, innovative, and incomparable artists of this generation. I think her to be one of the greatest musical artists to ever live. Her impact on pop culture as a whole cannot be ignored, and her talents as a singer/songwriter is limitless.

I remember first seeing her perform on So You Think You Can Dance with that iconic bleach-blonde, sharp-edged wig and those LED glasses with text on them and being absolutely mesmerized. Ever since that performance, I had been a casual fan, but absolute admirer of her music. Around 2016-2017 is when I decided to listen to pop music more regularly, and the first artist I knew I had to add to my library was Gaga. It was then that I listened to all her albums and officially became a Little Monster.

Each one of her albums is so incredibly unique, yet so undeniably Gaga at the same time. With the recent release of her sixth studio album Chromatica, I can now finally give my ranking of her incredible discography. I will only be covering her solo studio albums, so A Star Is Born and Cheek to Cheek will not be included.

A new thing I want to add to each album review is add a superlative that the album possesses to showcase its respective strength in the discography as a whole.

Reminder: this is my opinion. Everyone has a different ear, and certain sounds and songs resonate with different people. I’m just sharing my personal thoughts and experiences with these albums.

6. Joanne (2016)

This feels like pure blasphemy to put this album as the lowest ranking on the list when it is objectively one of Gaga’s strongest and more mature albums. It showcases her versatility as a songwriter to the nth degree, and she is the most vocally ferocious on this album. 

It is incredibly top-heavy for my taste (the first seven songs are absolutely sublime to listen to). It’s unfortunate, but from “Sinner’s Prayer” to the end, the album becomes borderline unlistenable to me. Gaga’s vocal delivery on the last few songs seems over-dramatic and unauthentic, and also technically not up to par with what I know she can do.

I think the big concern about Joanne is the feigned nature that I think I’m listening to. Gaga has always been theatrical and performative with her music, but with Joanne, I don’t seem to buy it as well. It suits a more dance-pop and electronic feel that we know and love her for. Maybe that’s the gay sensibilities in me talking; that’s just how I feel. 

She was far more successful with the A Star Is Born soundtrack in terms of writing for this genre. I applaud Gaga for going out on a limb with this massive genre shift, and it worked well, for the most part.

Favorite Songs: “Diamond Heart” through “Million Reasons”

Superlatives: Most Stripped, Most Diverse

                                           ---------------------------

5. Artpop (2013)

I have very conflicted feelings about this album. At its best, it is exploratory, imaginative, and audacious. At its worst, it’s ostentatious, inaccessible, and clumsy.

It undoubtedly has some of Gaga’s sickest and coolest production to date; she really amped up the electronic feel for this album. She also experimented with several contemporary genres (hip hop, R&B, dubstep, trap, rock, etc.) quite skillfully on various tracks like “MANiCURE”, “Do What U Want”, and “Swine”. However, the production does go overboard sometimes, creating a heavy and clunky sound (”Swine” often becomes very harsh to listen to).

Lyrically, I find that it can be very distant, boastful, and vain. Certain songs like “Donatella” and “Fashion” are very specific to Gaga’s lifestyle and obvious love for high fashion, but it is not relatable to the common listener (or at least not me). The extravagant nature of the songs, and even the album as a whole, is hard to really dive into.

I still love this album a lot, but more like as a guilty pleasure. I see many people regard it to be her underrated masterpiece, and I understand where they are coming from, but find them to be misguided. It’s a strong piece of work, but Gaga just shot for the stars and went a little too far for her own good.

Favorite Songs: “Aura”, “Venus”, “G.U.Y.”, “Sexxx Dreams”, “ARTPOP”, “Applause”

Superlatives: Most Experimental, Most Bold

                                       ---------------------------

4. The Fame (2008) 

It truly pains me to put this album so low because it’s the record that introduced us to the brilliance of her work and it features some of my absolute favorite Gaga tracks on it (”Poker Face” still hits hard even today). I cannot let the nostalgic nature of the album cloud my judgment, though. This only goes to show how incredibly strong her discography is; we are really splitting hairs at this point.

What Gaga did for the music industry back in 2008 is insurmountable and outrageous. She brought back the four-to-the-floor sound to the radio in a campy and edgy way that we had never heard before. She will most likely be the biggest juggernaut of an artist I will ever see in my lifetime; she will define my era of music as a child. This is the era I mainly associate with the iconic nature of Lady Gaga. 

It’s comparatively tame to her other work since she was still testing the waters and figuring herself out as an artist. But by 2008′s standards, terms like “disco stick” and “bluffin with my muffin” were totally out-there and controversial. Songs like “Paparazzi”, “LoveGame” and “Poker Face” pushed the envelope and influenced many artists for years to come.

Besides the lead singles, many of the songs on the album are not too remarkable and probably the closest thing you can classify as “filler tracks”. They’re inconsequential, generic, and uneventful compared to the powerhouse singles. 

While these songs also deal with fame and the opulent lifestyle like the ones I mentioned for ARTPOP, they were written from the perspective of someone who was not yet famous. The whole idea of the album is playing with the universal dream and fantasy of what fame is like. In turn, that make the album so much more relatable, universal, and engaging.

This is one of the greatest debut albums ever produced, and it paved the way for Gaga’s career and artistry. I’m happy to say that it basically gets close to pop perfection from here on out.

Favorite Songs: “Just Dance”, “LoveGame”, “Poker Face”, “The Fame”, “Starstruck”

Superlatives: Most Revolutionary, Most Iconic

                                            ---------------------------

3. Chromatica (2020)

This is the first album of her work that I was eagerly waiting for as a proper Little Monster. I was absolutely ecstatic when the first information about the album was coming out, including the singles. It was the album that I had been waiting for for a long time... and it absolutely delivered. It was everything I needed it to be and more.

Vocally, it is Gaga’s most impressive work to date. Her voice has matured so beautifully over the past 12 years, and she has learned to use her upper register in the D5-F5 range more healthily, powerfully, and consistently than before. There were several moments throughout the album that I was gobsmacked at the force of her voice. 

I will admit it is the most “tame” of all her works in terms of the outlandish and campy nature with which we know her for (just ahead of The Fame). Instead, she writes with more sophistication, finesse, and honesty that has come with more experience. On first listen, it seems rudimentary, but as time goes on, the inner complexities of the album start to reveal themselves.

For being a straight-up dance album through and through, it is brutally honest and personal. There is real pain and heartache that is displayed through much of the album, and Gaga is using music as a means of catharsis to release the pain. It makes the album incredibly relatable and accessible, allowing the listeners to dance through the pain. Released in a time when the whole world was faced with such uncertainty and worry, this album is definitely a great outlet for those looking for comfort.

Being as huge of a fan of artists like Kylie Minogue, Robyn, and Carly Rae Jepsen as I am, this album truly delivers on the dance/dance-pop department. The production is impeccably done and spearheaded by Bloodpop (who I hope is Gaga’s main collaborator from now on). Even the Chromatica interludes are stunningly gorgeous and inform how the next act of the album will go. In my opinion, Act I of the album (Tracks 1-6) is absolute pop perfection; I wouldn’t change a single thing about any of those tracks.

The album may run a little short, and it’s tamer compared to her earlier works, but it is still brilliant nonetheless. With a collaboration with the reigning Princess of Pop, Ariana Grande, you know it has to be amazing. This will absolutely go down as one of the best dance albums ever written. This is Gaga’s return to form, and we have been so blessed.

(Ok, but Chromatica II into 911 is THE serve. She did THAT. Do you know what she did? THAT.)

Favorite Songs: “Chromatica I”, “Alice”, “Stupid Love”, “Rain On Me”, “Free Woman”, “Fun Tonight”, “911″, “1000 Doves”

Superlatives: Most Cohesive, Most Personal

                                       ---------------------------

2. The Fame Monster (2009)

I’m gonna be perfectly honest here: it took the longest time for this album to grow on me. Even longer than ARTPOP. But with time, I was finally able to see just how sleek, crisp, and perfect of an album this really is.

This was Gaga’s expansion to The Fame that she wrote based on her experiences with touring, fame, and the toll that can take on someone. It is a concept album with each song being based on a personal fear of Gaga’s that I am sure were all amplified with the high intensity of being a pop star. 

You can immediately tell the difference between this album and its predecessor. It’s darker, it’s sexier, and it’s candid. Where The Fame was written from a place of imagination and wonder, this was written from a place of truth and fear. The amount of growth that came from just a year on the road is staggering.

It is undeniably her most polished album in terms of production and composition. It took the ambition of sonic perfection that The Fame was going for, and amped it up even more. Each song has its own feel to it, but they all work together so well as an album.

There is one song that makes this album imperfect and keeps it from my number one spot, and the song will make tons of Little Monsters angry: “Speechless”. I just don’t like it, no matter how many times I’ve tried to get into it. It’s written in C major (my least favorite key), it’s overly sentimental and hokey, and it disrupts the flow of pop that keeps the album together. I know it’s an incredibly personal song for her, but it is just mediocre to me; I skip it everytime.

Other than that, I think the album is absolute perfection. “Bad Romance” is one of the most iconic and influential songs in her songbook and even the Great American Songbook, and the non-singles are just as powerful, if not better. This album is the standard to which Gaga is held, and any album in the future will struggle to hold its own against this amazing work. Except one. ;) 

Favorite Songs: “Bad Romance”, “Alejandro”, “Monster”, “Dance In The Dark”, “So Happy I Could Die”

Superlatives: Most Polished, Most Dark

                                         --------------------------- 

1. Born This Way (2011)

Is there really any other option?

It’s the album that debuted at #1 on the Billboard charts. It’s the album with 5 of her most iconic and successful singles (the title song, “Judas”, “The Edge of Glory”, “You And I”, and “Marry The Night”). It’s the album that was unabashedly open about its advocacy, and gave voice to anyone who ever felt cheated by life or counted out. Of course it has to be in the number one spot.

This is Gaga at her freest, her most courageous, her most daring. She went all out in this record, and the results are absolutely remarkable. I am a massive fan of the 80′s in all aspects (especially the music), so the influence of 80′s rock and pop on the album satisfy my sensibilities swimmingly. The ingenuity and artistry which she demonstrates in the composition of this album is just mind-blowing.

“The Edge of Glory” is her best song. Hands down. No question. Bottom line, cut, and dry. The first time I heard it back in 2011 was so impactful to me. I learned just what an impressive singer Gaga is, and how powerful of a songwriter she is. It is one of the most euphoric, devil-may-care, and joyous songs ever written, and one of the most important songs in my life. The fact that it perfectly closes out the thrilling roller-coaster ride of Born This Way is the cherry on top.

It might be a little messier and imprecise than The Fame Monster, but it’s lows never get as low, and its highs are astronomically high. The arc that this album takes me through is astonishing. It is an album about celebrating life, loving others and yourself, and throwing caution to the wind. Who can’t relate to that and find comfort in it?

I could go on for ages about this album, but I’ll keep it simple. This is Gaga’s magnum opus, and one of the best pop records ever created. I am so unbelievably grateful for what it has done for my life, and it will forever be one of my favorite albums ever written. It taught me that I am unequivocally born this way, and that I should strive to be on the edge of glory.

Favorite Songs: The whole tracklist   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Superlatives: Most Daring, Most Adventurous, Most Creative

                                        ---------------------------

I have been wanting to do this list for so long, and I am thrilled to finally get my thoughts out in a post. Lady Gaga is one of the best and most iconic musicals artists ever, and I am eagerly hopeful for the future of her music. I recently uploaded a reaction video of me listening to Chromatica for the first time if you’d like to watch. I am an absolute dork in it, and completely got my life on the first listen. I’ll include it as a separate post on my page as well. Enjoy!

https://youtu.be/zdEH2RRc3DE

#lady gaga #the fame #the fame monster #born this way #artpop #joanne #chromatica #albums ranked #albums

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 7: Q&A

Let’s just dive right into this. Spoilers are heading your way. 

1:00 - Malcolm why did you try to talk to the strange man in the dark?!?! It’s not safe you giant doofus. 

1:33 - Gil looks very annoyed and concerned here. This is a man who would ground Malcolm’s ass if he could. 

1:51 - See how Gil’s hands are on his hips? That’s exactly the position Malcolm was in when he was talking to Dani when he was high. Coincidence? I think not. Pretty sure Malcolm is subconsciously trying to imitate Gil whenever he can because Gil is Malcolm’s definition of a good man. 

2:24 - Another instance when Dani directly asks Malcolm if he’s okay. 

2:35 - Edrisa is one strange lady. She doesn’t even look mildly grossed out by the state of those bodies. 

3:53 - Check out JT’s face here. He looks somewhere halfway between annoyed with and concerned for Malcolm. Gil on the other hand is too busy trying to keep Malcolm from jumping off the deep end to be annoyed with him. 

4:25 - Does anyone else find it odd that mother and daughter are sitting so far apart on this bench? I mean, I know they’re fighting right now but still. 

5:00 - “I am far more worried now.” She should be. Ainsley is trying to out manipulate Martin. That’s concerning because a) Martin is a dangerous psychopath and b) Ainsley, to a certain degree, is exhibiting behaviour that probably reminds Jessica of Martin. 

7:00 - I’m starting to believe that Edrisa might be on the autism spectrum. She seems to have trouble reading the mood of a room. She often rambles. She is socially awkward. She talks with her hands a lot. She is very intelligent. She’s a functioning adult but many people with autism are functioning adults if they had proper support as children. Then again, it’s possible she grew up in a home with stereotypical Asian parents who forced her to study most of the day and severely limited her opportunities to socialize in a non-academic setting. 

7:11 - hahaha Gil’s face here. He’s like “Why do I like these two freaks? Why do they look borderline excited in the middle of this morbid situation?”

7:46 - I love the moment when Gil and Malcolm realize that they’re looking for a serial killer. Gil looks guilty. Like he’s blaming himself for not noticing that this murderer was loose sooner. Malcolm looks upset too but it looks like he’s more upset about the effect this is having on Gil than he is about the fact that there’s a serial killer on the loose. Both of my boys need a hug. 

8:23 - They are waaayyy too lovey-dovey inside of Ainsley’s serial killer father’s prison cell. Like did they forget that they’re inside of a psychiatric facility for murderers?!? 

9:00 - The fact that this interaction between Tevin and Ainsley is possible annoys me. I know it was necessary to forward the plot BUT why would two different secure doors be randomly wide open when a guard is moving a dangerous prisoner through the halls? I’m sure those doors are legally required to be heavy enough to close by themselves if no one props them open for safety reasons. (Just my small annoyance. Carry on.)

10:00 - hahaha I love JT. He clearly cares about Malcolm but he also doesn’t know what to say to a dude who is so manic and troubled.

10:22 - I love Dani going on a rant. It’s really sweet. It’s almost as if she knew that if she went on a rant Malcolm would be able to calm down and focus. Look at Malcolm’s reaction to her rant. He immediately calms down and tries to comfort Dani. He refocuses on the case. They are really good for each other’s mental health. They ground each other and I’m so grateful that they’re in each other’s lives.

11:05 - If Edrisa is technically part of the team - why doesn’t she just walk into the room? Why does she wave through the window to get Malcolm’s attention?

11:51 - We have reached a tipping point in Malcolm’s mental health. He just willingly admitted that he’s not okay. Someone sound the alarms. This will not end well. Our boy is going off the deep end....but at least he’s self aware? 

12:00 - The first part of this interview (before Malcolm shows up) is hard to watch. It hurts to watch Martin twist everything into a positive about himself. It hurts to watch Ainsley try to twist everything in the opposite direction. These characters are more similar than I’d like to admit. They’re both obsessed with their outward appearance to the world. They’re obsessed with their own success. They’re driven by ambition. Sure, Ainsley is capable of empathy, and I don’t think she’d ever kill anyone but she’s definitely narcissistic. More so than Malcolm, whose isn’t narcissistic so much as he is obsessed with finding out the truth. More so than Jessica, who really just wants to be less lonely since the world abandoned her twenty years ago. 

13:20 - This is a really interesting point that Martin brings up. He’s technically mentally ill. Does he deserve sympathy for it? I mean, he killed people. I have anxiety disorders and chronic depression. I have a bipolar uncle. A narcissistic grandmother diagnosed with manic depression with psychotic elements (actually, in a lot of ways my grandmother is like Martin Whitly). I understand mental illness. But the second that someone kills another person...that’s where my sympathy ends. At that point I don’t care if you’re mentally ill - you took someone else’s life for pleasure. You shouldn’t be getting fancy therapy and an all-expenses paid trip to a psychiatric hospital. You should be getting the electric chair. (Sorry if this is getting political - I’m generally against the death penalty but psychopathic serial killers and child abusers are the exception to my stance).

13:38 - The darkest of nights?!?! Martin you are making me so angry right now. You sleep like a baby. You have no conscience. That’s literally the definition of a psychopath. You have no dark nights. Your son on the other hand. UGH. 

14:10 - *sigh* look at this. He’s making everything about him. In doing so he’s actually belittling his daughter and her career choice. What kind of a loving father does that?

15:44 - This little moment when Ainsley tells Malcolm that she’s staying is concerning to me. She is so desperate to find her father’s affectionate side that she watches her brother interact with him. She genuinely believes that she is the least favourite child.

16:30 - In this scene Martin says he’s never been to the Bronx. But by the end of this episode we find out that Martin briefly worked at St. Edwards Hospital in the Bronx. Just more proof that Martin is a liar. I don’t know what else to tell you. 

17:10 - Look at that face. That is a man who doesn’t care about his son. That is a man who will say anything to keep Malcolm in the room. To play with Malcolm’s head. That is not a father. That is a monster. Look at how sad Malcolm looks by the end of this interaction. How upset. How scared. He is genuinely starting to believe that he might’ve helped his Dad hurt someone. 

18:56 - Ainsley’s excitement to walk back into that room is concerning. There is ambition and there is obsession. She is obsessed. It isn’t healthy. 

19:25 - “I’d like to discuss one more. Malcolm.” This scene absolutely shatters my heart. For multiple reasons. a) Ainsley just put her career before her brother. She is intentionally starting a conversation that she knows will upset her brother (in front of her brother) because she believes that it will get the results she needs. This is one of the reasons I believe Ainsley is the Whitly child most similar to Martin. AND b) look at Malcolm’s reactions. He is utterly heartbroken. He feels betrayed by his sister. Embarrassed that his father knows about his diagnoses. Embarrassed that this discussion about his mental health is being filmed for television. He looks so sad and defeated here. I just want to hug him. AND FINALLY c) Martin is incapable of even acknowledging that his action have had any sort of negative impact on Malcolm. 

20:15 - And there he is. The most honest form of Martin Whitly. Angry. Explosive. Violent. Things aren’t going his way and that’s unacceptable to him.

20:53 - Another moment that annoys me about this episode. How convenient is it that the alarm starts going off JUST as Martin finishes his little outburst? It’s just timed a little too coincidentally. I know I know. It’s necessary for the plot and the time constraint of the episode. 

21:24 - Look at that. Three people concerned about your shaky handed boy. My heart is full. 

22:18 - Ainsley and Malcolm laughing over their Mom’s phone calls is cute. BUT I feel like Malcolm should be a little more upset with Ainsley right now. I know they’re in a lockdown situation and he probably doesn’t want to fight with her in case that something bad happens to one of them but still. Siblings fight. She treated him poorly. He should be mad at her right now. Malcolm’s acting like nothing happened.

23:55 - Martin is the worst. He really refuses to answer his children’s relevant questions until the camera is rolling. Ugh. Mr. David is not getting paid enough to deal with this family.

25:40 - It’s absolutely disgusting that Martin is so unconcerned when both of this children are in danger, in his presence. Also can someone please explain to me why there was a crow bar in the camera equipment bag? Like for real? That’s not a thing I can see Claremont security approving to enter a serial killer’s cell.

27:00 - It’s not often that I believe that Malcolm is the most rational person in the room (excluding Mr. David of course) but Ainsley and Martin are positively crazy in this scene. Ainsley is desperate and scared but Martin is manipulating her. At least Malcolm has enough common sense to keep a knife away from a serial killer. 

28:34 - The flashback. Martin is holding Malcolm’s hands, guiding the knife. Did Malcolm fight his father before this moment? Was Malcolm drugged into submission? I really need to know more about this. Malcolm looks terrified in the flashback though - he definitely didn’t take the knife willingly.

29:00 - Look at Malcolm’s face. That is pure terror. That is internal conflict. He wants to help his sister. He would do anything for her because he’s her big brother and big brothers are protective. BUT he’s also terrified of giving his father a knife. AND he’s terrified of the flashback that he just had. Look at Malcolm’s face when Martin takes the scalpel. Holy crap. That boy is not sleeping tonight.

31:02 - Another instance where I really don’t support Ainsley. Video tapping the un-consented surgery (yes it was an emergency, I know) performed by a serial killer on her boyfriend. Like. Dude. No. So not appropriate. But she’s doing it a) to try and earn her father’s love and attention and b) she thinks the story will help her career. It’s all about her. And that scares me. 

32:45 - JT and Dani look concerned again. They’re like “What’s the dumbass going to do now?”

33:00 - I love this scene. Gil and Jessica. This conversation is sweet, and intimate in a way that only people with a shared concern can be. How many conversations do you think they’ve had over the years about Malcolm and Ainsley? They’re both worried about their kids. It’s precious and I love it. Also - another example of how Jessica’s heart is in the right place. She really does love her children. 

35:15 - New York Direct News?!? I thought Ainsley worked for American Direct News? Did Malcolm purposely use a different network name? 

35:55 - Is Malcolm giving that look to Ainsley or Martin? I can’t tell. 

37:40 - I feel you Jessica. I feel you girl. He’s playing with both of your children’s hearts now. You are justified in being livid.

38:18 - Concerned Papa Gil for the win! :) <3 

39:24 - I’m really glad that Malcolm is at least aware that his father is playing with he and Ainsley.

40:55 - I love how this episode ends. A rare, intimate moment between Malcolm and his mother. A softer side of Jessica we rarely see, comforting her upset son. Followed by a confused, terrified and equally vulnerable side of Jessica going to the basement.

Dang. This one got long. Sorry. Thanks for hanging out. I’ll post again soon. 

#prodigal son #jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #whitly #ainsley whitly #jessica whitly #martin whitly #gil arroyo #jt tarmel #edrisa tanaka #dani powell #this show is almost perfect #i love this show #whump #malcolm needs a hug #so good #rewatch #spoilers #ps #e:7 #1x7 #Q&A #s1

[verilyruth]

Rules of Courtship

(Part 3 of A New Beginning series)

AO3

Summary:  Katherine's parents aren't sold on this new dating thing. They prefer traditional courtship, which means that David has less than twenty-four hours to prepare to meet the Pulitzers. Katherine's also having some new experiences and her eyes opened with the help of Jack and her older brother.

Pairings: Davey/Katherine

  “He’s more…traditional than your parents are, David.” 

  “But we’ve only been out once!”

  Katherine shrugged.

  “That’s his point, I think. This is all new to him. This is how Ralph did it and so he thinks this is how I should too.”

  Her father had been on her about courting. He knew she was seeing someone but not who it was. Dating was new to Joseph Pulitzer, to say the least. He was used to the traditional style of courtship which often involved families being around. In his defense, dates were a relatively new phenomenon and he’d been married for over twenty years.

  “I don’t see why it’s a big deal. Just come to my house for dinner and have a drink with my father and Ralph.”

  “I’m not eighteen.”

  “He doesn’t care.”

  “I…Katherine, I don’t know,” David said. She was getting agitated. What was the big deal? 

  “Why does it matter? You’re calling it off because you don’t want to have a meal with my father?”

  “What? No! No, Katherine, I swear.” He looked panicked. “I’ll…I’ll come. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think I wouldn’t do it if it means that much to you.” 

  Katherine rolled her eyes.

  “It doesn’t mean that much to me, it’s about my parents.” David nodded. He looked upset and she couldn’t help but grab his hand. “Although it means a lot that you would be willing to do it for me.”

  He smiled and brought her hand to his lips.

  “Of course. So when would this be?”

  “Tomorrow?”

  “What?” David looked panicked again. 

  “I’m sorry!” Katherine defended. “I was trying to get out of it and then I didn’t want to tell you because I thought you’d freak out.”

  “You were right,” Jack said. He was sitting on a windowsill in the main room of the lodging house, reading the paper.

  “Shut up, Jack.”

  “Katherine…I’ll come but can you please tell me earlier in the future? For big things in general. I would’ve liked more time to prepare to meet your parents.”

  “You’ve already met my father.”

  “Yeah, when you yelled at him and called him a fool, remember?” 

  “Shut up, Jack,” she said again. 

  “You’ll be fine, okay? Ralph likes you-”

  “I met Ralph for all of thirty seconds.”

  “I’ve told him about you. And my other siblings will like you too and so will my mother.”

  “Yeah, but it’s your father he’s scared of.”

  “Shut up, Jack.” David ordered. “I’m just worried he’s going to take one look at me, realize who I am, and tell me I can’t see you anymore.” He looked legitimately nervous and she did her best to soothe him. She put her hand on his arm, caressing it. 

  “I don’t care about my parents’ approval.”

  “If that were true we wouldn’t even be doing this,” he pointed out with a sigh. 

  Katherine didn’t have a response. She pulled him into a hug instead. 

  “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel all this pressure. But I promise, even if he says that, I’m not going anywhere, okay?” 

  He nodded.

  “Okay.”

|

|

  That night, she was sitting with her brother in the parlor, drinking what was arguably too much wine. 

  “So how’d he take it?” Ralph asked, switching the subject away from his work. She glared at him over the brim of her glass as she took a too big sip. “That well, huh?”

  “He wasn’t exactly thrilled.”

  “Can you blame him?”

  “No, but it would’ve been nice if he was super excited for some reason.”

  Ralph rolled his eyes and scoffed. 

  “But he’s coming, yes?”

  “He’s coming. He’ll be here at six.”

  “He’s probably going crazy, poor guy.” 

  “What?” she asked, concerned. “Why would he be going crazy?”

  “Well, you don’t show up to the house of the girl you’re trying to court empty handed.”

  Katherine wasn’t sure why that was relevant.

  “Okay?”

  “Seriously, Kitty? He’s one of the newsies.”

  “So?” 

  “How much spare money do you think he has?”

  Being told that was like a blow to the chest. Obviously Katherine knew David didn’t have much money but the idea that she had stressed him out about that without it occurring to her made her feel incredibly guilty.

  “Oh.”

  “Don’t be like that,” he said softly. “Come here.” She leaned against his side and continued to drink. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

  “No, because either he shows up with something and he’s spent money or he doesn’t and he looks bad.”

  “Maybe you should mention to Mother and Fa-”

  “No!”

  “Yeah, as soon as I started saying it I realized it was a bad idea.” 

  “Should I talk to him during my lunch break tomorrow?” 

  Ralph shook his head. 

  “No, you’ll hurt his pride.”

  “David isn’t like that.”

  “Every man is like that a little bit. Even if he isn’t, he’ll be mortified, won’t he?”

  “I guess. Jack did say he was upset on his first day when he tried to buy him extra papers.”

  “There you go. But talk to Jack if you’re so worried. He knows David better than I do, obviously, so maybe he’ll disagree.”

  She nodded. That sounded like a good solution. The problem was getting Jack alone when he was supposed to be selling with David.

  “Okay.”

  “Don’t worry about that. Worry about how many well meaning but offensive things Mother is going to say. We can take bets if you- ow!” 

|

|

  “Jack!” Katherine whisper-yelled. “Jack Kelly!” 

  Jack turned around and startled at Katherine, who was standing in the dark alley. 

  “Kath? What the hell are you-”

  “Listen! I was waiting for David to leave. When will he be back?” 

  “Like ten minutes? He went to make sure Les isn’t dead.”

  “Okay, good.” She stepped out onto the sidewalk and brushed off her skirt.

  “What the hell is going on? Why are you hiding in alleys?”

  “One alley, not multiple,” she countered. “I needed to talk to you without David knowing.”

  “About what?”

  “About tonight.”

  Jack rolled his eyes. 

  “I’ve spent the last four hours talking about tonight. He’s coming, I promise.”

  “Four hours?”

  “He’s like one big ball of anxiety but that ain’t new. What about tonight?”

  Katherine sighed. 

  “I should’ve realized yesterday, but is David worried about bringing something? Ralph mentioned it and I thought that maybe-”

  “Are you kidding me?” Jack rolled his eyes again and laughed humorlessly. “Of course he is!”

  She felt a pit in her stomach and all she wanted was to give David a hug.

  “What can I do to help?”

  “Nothing. He’s got it covered, Ace, don’t worry about it.”

  “But-”

  “Seriously. I won’t tell him you asked but he’s my best friend and I don’t like lying to him so don’t put me in the middle, okay?” 

  “Okay. Thanks anyway, Jack.” She tried to leave but he stepped in her way.

  “You need to relax too. There ain’t nothing you can do about it and there wouldn’t have been last night either.”

  “Yeah. We just have to get through tonight and then-”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “What do you mean?” 

  Jack looked exasperated and borderline frustrated. He had the look on his face that Katherine wore when she listened to her coworkers talk about suffrage. It was a look that said “you’re an absolute idiot.” 

  “I mean, that it ain’t just tonight. He’s not gonna suddenly not be poor tomorrow. He’s gonna have to figure this out on every date and every time he sees your folks.” He must have noticed how distraught she was because he lightheartedly added, “Romance is expensive, Plumber. Don’t you remember that song Medda sang the day we met?”

|

|

  “Seriously?” she hissed in Ralph’s ear. “This is the one time he comes home before ten and he’s being impatient with us? He’s the one who said six!”

  “Relax, Kitty, it’s only quarter to. He’ll be here. Father can get over it. And you don’t have to whisper; there’s no way they can hear us.” 

  The two of them were waiting in the foyer with an annoyed footman who clearly wanted them gone, but Katherine wasn’t leaving David alone when he came in and Ralph wasn’t leaving Katherine to freak out by herself. 

  There was a knock at the door and the footman went to answer it. 

  “Uh, hello,” she heard David say, “my name is David and I’m here to Mr. and Mrs. Pulitzer and their daughter Ms. Pulitzer?” 

  Katherine smiled at his formality. It was a little bit adorable. He was let in and he handed a rather expensive looking bottle of whiskey to the footman and said, “this is a gift for Mr. and Mrs. Pulitzer.”

  Where had that come from? She didn’t give herself time to think about it because once the footman was out of sight, Katherine pulled David into a hug. 

  “Hi.”

  “Hi. Thank you for coming.”

  “Of course. These are for you.” He handed her the bouquet of flowers he had behind his back. She smiled again and kissed his cheek. 

  Ralph cleared his throat.

  “You know I don’t care, but technically you’re not supposed to be touching at all.” 

  David nodded.

  “I know. It’s good to see you.” 

  “You as well. Are you ready to face the music, David?”

  “No, but I don’t exactly have a choice.” 

  Katherine squeezed his hand one last time before letting go and following her brother’s lead. David looked ridiculously nervous but there wasn’t much she could do about it. As they walked towards the sitting room, the volume of the chatter and laughter increased.

  It was a full house tonight. All five of Katherine’s siblings were there, as well as Ralph’s fiancée, Margaret; their uncle, Albert; their parents; and the children’s nanny, Mary. Katherine suspected her parents had done this on purpose to intimidate her date. She would have told David if she had known ahead of time but she hadn’t, which was probably the reason he looked so sick as they stepped into the room. 

  “Ah, Katherine, darling,” her mother said, “introduce us to your young man.” 

  When Ralph stepped out of the way so that people could see David, Pulitzer froze. 

  “You.”

  “Father, please, be civil,” Ralph said tersely.

  “I’m sorry, do you know this young man, Joseph?” Mrs. Pulitzer asked. “What’s your name?”

  “David Jacobs, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for having me in your lovely home.” 

  Pulitzer didn’t say anything as David was introduced one by one to each family member, he just stood still.

  “Joseph,” Mrs. Pulitzer said, as David stood awkwardly, waiting for a greeting before sitting down, as was proper. Katherine tried not to be too proud of him for staying so composed but it was hard. “What’s wrong?” 

  He ignored her and turned to Katherine.

  “Did you do this to incite me, Katherine?” 

  “What? Of course not! I like David because I like David. Believe it or not, not every second of my life is spent trying to find ways to frustrate you.”

  “Too many of them are,” he grumbled. “Fine.” He walked towards David and shook his hand aggressively. “I trust you’re well, Mr. Jacobs.”

  “Yes, sir, and yourself?” 

  “Fine.” He sat and Ralph invited David to sit in between himself and Uncle Albert. Katherine really wished that he was allowed to sit next to her instead. She wanted to give him a kiss on the forehead and make him feel better.

  Maybe she was projecting, though. It was entirely possible that she felt worse than David did at the moment. After all, he had fought her father on a much more public stage than this sitting room and had come out on top.

  “How is it that you know David, Father?” Constance asked. 

  “David sells my papers. Don’t you, boy?”

  His wife glared at him.

  “Yes, sir, I do,” David said proudly, although Katherine could tell it was mostly an act. 

  “Oh,” he mother said, “so…you’re a newsboy then?” 

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “David’s also a student at St. George’s,” Katherine interjected.

  “Are you?” 

  “Yes, ma’am, I am. Right now I’m taking some time off to support my family but I hope to graduate at the end of this year.”

  “What is it that you want to do?” Uncle Albert asked. “Any ambitions?”

  “I’m not entirely sure yet, sir.” While that was technically true, Katherine knew he had ideas of what he wanted to do, neither of which it was likely her father would approve of. David thought he might want to be a labor organizer of some kind, but there was zero money in that. 

  His other idea, the one he had had for a long time, was that he might want to be a rabbi. He wasn’t sure that he did anymore, or so he told Katherine. She knew that her father would eventually realize just how brilliant David was and that when he did, he would be upset if he didn’t spend his life as a writer or politician or mathematician or something of the like.

  “That’s certainly a twist,” her father commented. “The lady with career aspirations and the boy without.”

  “I have aspirations, sir, I’m just not sure through which career I’d like to channel them.” 

  Out of the corner of her eye, Katherine saw both Edith and Ralph make little tick marks in the air that, had she not been looking, she wouldn’t have noticed. They had told her earlier that they would be keeping score to see who won the night: their father or David. Katherine thought they were ridiculous.

  “And how did you meet our dear Katherine?” Mrs. Pulitzer asked him. 

  “During the newsies strike, ma’am. She was invaluable to the cause and it was an honor to have her write about it.”

  Pulitzer huffed but Constance spoke before he could say anything.

  “Can one of you tell us the story? I want to hear how you met.”

  Katherine looked to David. 

  “The floor’s yours, miss.” 

  She almost choked on nothing when he called her that. She should have been expecting it, she supposed. The boys often mocked David about the formal rules he had had to follow at St. George’s. It made sense that he would have been schooled in etiquette.

  “Well,” she began hesitantly, “I met David’s friend Jack a few days beforehand. The strike began and when I learned he was their leader I went to find him and I met David.” 

  Constance looked to David inquisitively.

  “Newsies have leaders?”

  “Uh, yes, miss,” he answered a little awkwardly. “I was surprised to learn how structured the newsboys and girls of New York are. The person Ms. Pulitzer was referring to, Jack, is the leader for lower Manhattan and the president of the union which is citywide.”

  “Are you a leader?” 

  “No, miss, not really.” 

  “He’s being modest,” Ralph said, clapping him on the shoulder. “David’s the union’s vice president, right?”

  “Um…yes, sir, technically.” 

  “Well are you or aren’t you?” Pulitzer asked. 

  “Yes, but there’s politics involved, sir.”

  “Yes,” Katherine took over for David, who sent her a thankful look, “like David said, it’s surprising how structured it is and how complicated.” 

  “How does it work?” Her father suddenly seemed curious. 

  “Fath-”

  “I’m asking Mr. Jacobs. How does it work?” 

  “I…I’m sorry but I can’t discuss that with you, sir.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m loyal to the union.”

  “So not to my daughter then?” Katherine was going to scream at her father later for putting David through this. 

  “I’m very loyal to your daughter, Mr. Pulitzer, but it’s not her who’s asking.” There was a moment of tension (in which Ralph and Edith each made another tick mark). Luckily, the dinner bell rang.

  In the dining room, David pulled out Katherine’s chair for her and once she was seated, he sat between Ralph and Joe. 

  The impression Katherine had gotten was that this would be a dinner that David happened to be attending, but it was quickly becoming clear that it was more of a dinner about David or, more accurately, about interrogating him. 

  “Tell us about your family, David,” Uncle Albert requested.

  “There isn’t much to say, sir.”

  “Nonsense. What does your father do?”

  “He worked in a factory until recently.”

  “But not now?”

  “He was injured,” David explained. 

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” her mother said. “When was this?”

  “About three months ago.”

  “Is he any better?”

  David smiled tightly.

  “Some days are better than others.”

  “So, he didn’t study then?” her father asked. “He’s uneducated?” 

  Katherine could practically feel David bristling. Most of the adults at the table gave her father pointed looks.

  “He’s educated. He was a teacher back in Poland.” 

  “You’re immigrants?” Margaret asked. “When did you move here?” 

  “Almost ten years ago, miss.”

  There was an awkward silence

  “Why?” Joe asked, completely unaware. 

  “Let’s move on,” Ralph suggested. “What type of teacher, David?”

  “Religious. He was the melamed in our village.”

  “David’s mother was a surgeon’s assistant,” Katherine said, earning herself a glare. David was probably worried that her family wouldn’t approve and while outwardly that may have been true for some of them, they would be secretly impressed. 

  “Was she? Fascinating,” her mother said. 

  “Do you have any siblings?” Joe asked. “Because if you don’t you can take some of mine.” Her parents tried to look stern but everyone else laughed. 

  “I have two,” David said. “A sister and a brother.”

  “They’re both great,” Katherine told her family.

  “You’ve met them?” her uncle asked. “Have you been to Mr. Jacobs’ home, then?” He looked like he was about to lose it.

  “No,” Katherine assured. “Les is a newsboy and Sarah helped with the strike. So no, I haven’t been. Yet.”

|

|

  “He’ll be fine, Katherine,” Margaret told her as they sat in the sitting room after dinner, “Ralph will make sure of it.”

  David was in her father’s study with her brother and uncle, and Katherine was sitting with the other women and her younger brothers. She could picture the tense look on David’s face. He was likely miserable and it was all because of her. 

  “He’s very charming, dear,” her mother said comfortingly.

  “Yeah,” she replied distractedly. “What do you think they’re talking about?”

  “Oh, you know your father. He’s probably boring him with business and-”

  “He’s not going to talk to David about business, Mother.” She turned to her. “What do you think of him?”

  “I already said that I think he’s charming.”

  “So is President McKinley but you don’t like him.”

  Her mother sighed. 

  “He’s very sweet, Katherine, and clearly he cares about you a lot, but…darling, he’s penniless.”

  “I don’t care about that. It’s not like we’re exactly lacking in funds.”

  “It’s inappropriate to marry outside of your social class.”

  Katherine and David hadn’t discussed marriage yet. Why would they have? They’d been together for less than two months. She knew, however, that courtship usually revolved around the idea of getting married and so it made sense that her mother would be thinking about it. 

  “Who cares? I’ve met the type of men you’d prefer me to marry and I’ve been mingling with them my whole life. The handful of people you and father expect me to choose between…David’s better then all of them put together.”

  “Katherine-”

  “He’s smarter, too.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “He’s seventeen and he and a bunch of friends beat Father, Reid, and Hearst.”

  “Katherine!” Her mother looked scandalized. 

  “Well, they did,” Edith mumbled. 

  “I get that you have concerns but I’ve already told you how I feel.”

  “And how’s that?”

  “That I’ll marry who I want, when I want, or I won’t marry at all.”

  “Marriage is wonderful, sweetheart. It’s very rewarding and-”

  “I’m sure it can be with the right person but none of the men you like for me are.”

  “Then we’ll find someone else.”

  Katherine shook her head adamantly. 

  “No. I like David.”

  “Why, because he’d let you pursue your career?”

  “He wouldn’t let me do anything. We see each other as equals.”

  “Would he convert?”

  “Did Father?”

  “Would you be expected to convert?”

  “I don’t know! Look, Mother, we haven’t even begun to discuss marriage. We’ve gone out together once and we’ve known each other for less than three months.”

  “People marry in less than that.”

  “Good for them. That isn’t what I want. Besides, he has to graduate first.”

  “That’s another thing, Katherine. He’s not even graduated!”

  “Neither was Ralph when we met,” Margaret pointed out. Katherine gestured to her. 

  “He wasn’t graduated from college, Margaret, there’s a difference. Does he plan on attending college?”

  “I don’t know. Mother, I have to get to know him better. Can we just drop it for now? The whole marriage thing?”

  “If you’re going to be courting him then you should talk about marriage.”

  Katherine rolled her eyes. 

  “It’s different now.”

  “Courting is a much better way to find a relationship. Katherine,” she said with a sigh, “you’re my daughter and I love you dearly. I only want what’s best for you.”

  Katherine got up and went to sit next to her mother, taking her hands in her own.

  “I know that, Mother, and I love you too. But just because it’s what you think is best for me doesn’t mean it is. If…if it makes you feel any better, I can envision myself having a future with David.”

  “Do you love him?”

  Katherine smiled. 

  “It’s too early for that, but I think I could. He’s…Mother, he’s the most amazing boy I’ve ever met. I don’t love him yet but I love things about him.”

  “Like what?”

  “He’s kind and generous and sweet and thoughtful and selfless to a fault. I know what Father expects for me in a husband but just because he isn’t rich doesn’t mean he can’t be those things. He’s brilliant enough to have gotten a scholarship to St. George’s. If Father is so concerned about the intelligence of who I’m with then David passes that test with flying colors.”

  “That’s true,” Margaret said. “He kept up very well with the boys’ political talk and he seems to be an excellent conversationalist as well.” 

  “See?” Katherine gestured to Margaret. “I’m not the only person who thinks so.”

  Her mother scrunched up her face as if she was thinking very hard 

  “You’d want to go by the name Jacobs instead of Pulitzer?”

  “I already don’t go by Pulitzer professionally.”

  “Where would you live, hmm? In a tenement? In the slums?” 

  “Mother, I told you I wasn’t thinking about marriage yet.”

  “Well, you have to be! Do you want me to help you with your father or not?”

  Katherine perked up.

  “You’re okay with David?” 

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea but he’s a lovely boy and I know that nothing I could say would dissuade you. I’ll give you two more months, and then you have to at least discuss marriage with him.”

  “But, Mother, he-”

  “Deal?” she repeated, leaving no room for argument. Katherine sighed but acquiesced. “Good. Once you do that I’ll talk to your father.”

  “He would be angry about it for at least the next month even if I never saw David again, you know that.”

  “And I’ll defend him but I won’t fight for his blessing until you-”

  “I don’t care about his blessing,” Katherine argued.

  “You do. Even if you don’t care about his opinion, he’s the one providing for you.”

  “I have a job.”

  “You think you’d be able to live like this on your salary?”

  Katherine didn’t say anything. Margaret did her best to move the conversation along but the other girls only wanted to hear about David.

  “Come on, Kitty, what was the first thing he said to you?” Constance asked. 

  “I don’t remember.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because there were about a million other boys in the room and I didn’t know I’d end up being interested in him so I didn’t pay that much attention to memorizing it.”

  “You’re no fun. Does he tell you you’re pretty?”

  “He has. And I think he’s pretty too.”Her sisters giggled.

  When her mother left the room briefly, Edith looked around conspiratorially and asked, “Has he kissed you?”

  “That’s an inappropriate question, Edith,” Margaret scolded. “That’s not our business. And don’t let your mother hear you asking it.” 

  Joe rolled his eyes. 

  “I don’t get it! Why would anybody want to kiss anybody else?”

  “You’ll get it when you’re a little bit older. I didn’t want to kiss anybody at your age either, Joe.”

  “And now you want to kiss my brother? Gross.”

  “Hey, that’s not-” Margaret cut herself off when the men returned to the room.

  “Say goodbye to Mr. Jacobs, everyone,” her father said sternly. When they did, Ralph offered to walk with him to the door so that Katherine could go too. Her father didn’t look happy but he didn’t comment.

  In the foyer, Katherine wrapped her arms around him.

  “Thank you, David. I’m sorry you had to sit through that.”

  “That’s okay,” he said, “I don’t mind.”

  “Did my father break your soul in there?” she asked. 

  Ralph and David chuckled. 

  “Actually, Father wholeheartedly approved of his choice in whiskey.”

  Katherine stared at David questioningly. 

  “Where did you get that, by the way?” 

  “Denton has an absurd amount of alcohol in his apartment.” She laughed. “Thank you for inviting me. I hope I didn’t embarrass you too badly.” 

  Ralph turned away to give them some semblance of privacy.

  “Oh, sweetheart, you didn’t embarrass me at all.” 

  “Really?” He breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. Do you think your family liked me?” 

  “My siblings and Margaret loved you and I think my mother tried her best not to, but did anyway.”

  “And your uncle? I’m not even going to aim for your father.”

  “I can never tell what he thinks but don’t worry, he’s moving back to Europe soon, so who cares?”

  He laughed.

  “I should probably go so I’m not chased out.” David took her hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it softly. “Thank you for everything.”

  “Thank you. Can I come by your selling spot tomorrow and see you?”

  “Please do. Good night.”

  “Good night.” 

  He said good night to Ralph and left. 

  “How did it go in the study?” she asked him. 

  “It went about as well as can be expected. Father tried to embarrass him and David didn’t let him. He’s quick, that boy of yours. But he was also respectful so Father can’t say anything on that front.”

  “I’m glad. That’s a relief.”

  “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen someone who has clearly never been in high society before be so versed in the ridiculous etiquette of courtship,” he said, walking with her back to their family. “I know he was taught it at school, but still. Most of the other boys have occasion to use it.”

  “Now he does too, if our father doesn’t disown me first. So, yes? You think it was a success overall?” 

  “Well, I have to confer with Edith but by my count-”

  “Shut up.”

#newsies #newsies fanfiction #a new beginning series #katherine pulitzer #katherine plumber #david jacobs #davey jacobs #davey/katherine #daverine #stella writes stuff

[spiceylotion]

Creepypasta Personalized Playlist 1

Side note: I’m still getting used to this whole headcanon thing, and I apologize if it’s not up to standards :((((((

*also i feel like this is trash and might delete it later hfwjfjdnfisjd

Jeff the Killer

Jeff used to listen to heavy metal or emo music exclusively but he’s grown out of it and explored some new genres. But yeah other than that, the music he listens to is mainly alternative with some underground rap and just a few heavy metal songs. He actually also likes soft songs but will never admit to liking them.

Creep - Radiohead

I’m Not Okay (I promise) - My Chemical Romance

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

One - Metallica (he will listen to this when he’s sad/angry)

Disorder - Joy Division

Radicals - Tyler, the Creator

Chanel - Frank Ocean

Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond (there’s a back story to this,,, whenever he and Liu woke up to this song, they knew it was cleaning day. Whenever he listens to it now it gives him a bittersweet feeling)

Ben Drowned

Ben listens to alternative and underground rap (however a different spectrum from what Jeff listens to) with some occasional rap. He really likes music with good bass and psychadelic-like sounds. He either plays music that’s fast and upbeat or slow and super mellow, depends on the mood... Ben will be very defensive if someone teases him for liking soft alternative. Also secretly likes to listen to The Beach Boys.

Borderline - Tame Impala

New Person, Same Old Mistakes - Tame Impala

Palace / Curse - The Internet

Kokomo - The Beach Boys (in his playlist for when he smokes w33d)

Kickback - Omar Opollo

GONE, GONE / THANK YOU - Tyler, the Creator

Cool Cat - Queen (guilty pleasure song)

After the Storm - Kali Uchis

Eyeless Jack

Eyeless Jack’s music taste is super mellow. He likes sad songs with a good beat. He can enjoy some fastpaced music too, but would rather enjoy the slow, soft songs about heartbreak or love. He’s that type to get surprised when he hears a sound in a song that he’s listened to countless times that he’s never heard before.

Easy - Mac Ayres

Nice Boys - Temporex

Sunflower - Rex Orange County

I Miss You - Blink-182 (one of his favorite songs before the... s a c r i f i ce)

Care - Temporex

Chamber of Reflection - Mac Demarco

Ivy - Frank Ocean

Helena (So Long & Goodnight) - My Chemical Romance (his angry/sad song)

Masky

Masky really fucking loves Frank Ocean. He lowkey fangirls over him...also a diehard fan for Nirvana. I guess you could say he likes whatever genre cuz mans also likes 80s music.

Nights - Frank Ocean

Pink + White - Frank Ocean

Heart-Shaped Box - Nirvana

About a Girl - Nirvana

Don’t Dream it’s Over - Crowded House

Eyes Without a Face - Billy Idol

Heart of Glass - Blondie (guilty pleasure song)

I Melt With You - Modern English

Hoodie

Hoodie’s music taste is similar to Masky’s which is kinda obvious since they’re like best friends. He really enjoys listening to music from the 70s-90s since they give him a nostaglic feel. Sometimes plays the Guardians of the Galaxy Soundtrack on Youtube when he’s bored.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears

(Feels Like) Heaven - Fiction Factory

Another One Bites the Dust - Queen

Under Pressure - Queen

I want to Break Free - Queen (did I mention that Hoodie is also a huge Queen fan?)

Creep - Radiohead

Boys Don’t Cry - The Cure

Baba O’Riley - The Who

Ticci Toby

Toby listens to a bit of everything but generally speaking, he listens to indie/alternative music. When his thoughts are driving him crazy he just lies down, connects his phone to his speaker and blasts music.

Robbers - The 1975

Still Beating - Mac Demarco

Truss me - Lower Dens

Decode - Paramore

Where is My Mind - Pixies

Let My Baby Stay - Mac Demarco

Always Forever - Cults

Dream a Little Dream of Me - The Mamas & The Papas (backstory,,, Toby’s mom used to sing this to him when he was younger before he went to bed. so whenever he has trouble sleeping he just pops his headphones in and plays this on repeat... and yes... he does cry ;-;)

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #ben drowned #jeff the killer #hoodie #masky #marble hornets #ticci toby #creepypasta head canon #eyeless jack #creepypasta headcannon

[forisobel]

SOME THOUGHTS ON VELVET BUZZSAW  .  .  .

if you have been anywhere near netflix this month, you’ve most likely seen the star-studded cast of velvet buzzsaw gracing your screen. despite being a fairly ardent fan of jake gyllenhaal’s, i didn’t hear anything about this film until a plethora of negative reviews came my way. i was fairly quick to put this film in the same category as shitty netflix features, churned out quickly to appease brain-dead audiences. needless to say, i had no interest in watching it. but there was something about the plot that kept drawing me back in. pretentious artists, mysterious art and backdrop in general continuously called my name. so i relented, even despite the negative feedback i’d heard from reviewers i trusted. lads, it’s shit.

velvet buzzsaw follows the enigmatic morf vandewalt ( jake gyllenhaal ), a highly praised art critic, on his endeavour to write a posthumous book about an illusive artist. this artist, named dease, was very much introverted and wanted his art destroyed after his death, a task he had already set out to complete himself. however, after morf’s maybe girlfriend ( zawe ashton ) discovers his artwork, his creations are catapulted onto the main stage of the los angeles art scene. one by one, the people who come into contact with dease’s art begin to die in mysterious ways. 

written and directed by dan gilroy, who is perhaps best known for nightcrawler, velvet buzzsaw falls short of expectations on so many levels. i don’t think it’s necessarily bad, but is certainly not good. there were so many moments that left me thinking what the fuck? and not in the good way. because of that, it doesn’t even work as one of those trashy films you stick on in the background while you do something else. or a guilty pleasure. i would even dare to say that this film appeals to no one. it’s mystery is lazily doled out and the supernatural element to the story is weak at best. 

there was something about the special effects that i just hated. they weren’t bad necessarily. they just felt kind of regressive. they looked animated. during the first death scene, wherein bryson is killed in an abandoned gas station by shitty c. g. i. monkeys, i couldn’t help but think of the first jumangi. and that’s the fucking truth. it was just so lazy, especially for a film with a massive $21 million budget. 

in the same vein, some of the sound mixing...like...what the actually fuck. there were parts where two characters would be having a conversation and then all of a sudden it cuts to dubbing. and it is so obvious! the line will be louder than the rest of the conversation and it’s like the film makers aren’t even trying to make it discrete. 

the acting in this film was bland and uninspired, although this is partially due to a crappy script. toni collette was arguably the best of the lot, although you could tell that jake gyllenhaal was genuinely trying to make the best of a bad situation. unfortunately his efforts have resulted in a convoluted caricature. gilroy had clearly wanted to create a complex character in gyllenhaal’s morf, one that would be remembered long after the credits had played. however, the character changes from scene to scene. one moment he’s calm and collected, the next he’s flamboyant and eccentric. he also transitions from his status quo to this manic, borderline schizophrenic in a matter of scenes. there is no build up and no pay-off, making the whole thing seem plain lazy and amateur. 

on the subject of the characters, they’re shit. i’ve seen many people take issue with the fact that they’re all assholes, but the film makes it clear that that’s the point. this doesn’t result in any pay-off, which sucks, but all of the characters also seem to suffer from dumb bitch syndrome. morf and josephina have it the fucking worst. if morf thought his life was in danger, why would he approach the big-ass robot. the brainlet. josephina is just fully dumb, no explanation needed. 

oh, lads, the deaths. they were so shit. they were in no way as artistic as this film needed them to be. they were so generic and got more and more laughable as we went on. the film completely wimped out of showing morf’s death, which is absolutely ridiculous, as was gretchen’s ( toni collette ) death. josephine’s was arguably the best of the lot as it actually incorporated art, but, bruv, roald dahl been done that shit. none of the deaths were creative, nor did they provide any kind of commentary, which is crazy considering they are supposed to be the focal point of the film.

overall, though the film tries desparately to make fun of the l. a. art scene’s inhabitants, it ends up being equally as pretentious. it’s not clever and it is undeserving of a 61 % on rotten tomatoes. there, i said it. there is no genuine soul in it. dan gilroy didn’t care about this story. how then is it not a cash grab? how then is this film any better than it’s characters?

oh, it is fair decent to be back, lads! 

#velvet buzzsaw #jake gyllenhaal #natalia dyer #rene russo #zawe ashton #john malkovich #dan gilroy #review #spoilers #films #movies #netflix #thrillers #drama

[aikainkauna]

Sorry I haven’t been giffing/posting/reglobbing much lately, guys. It’s that behemoth of a fic swallowing up all my sitting-upright time (and a big chunk of my reclining time). Four chapters or so to go and I’m still spending about 7-11 hours every day combing the remaining text for typos (yes, some of us actually do care about our fics and don’t think it’s some dirty “trashy,” “guilty pleasure” of less value), so it’s a full-time job with overtime. So if I’m slow to respond to anything, it’s that. I’m sure that soon enough, the post-fic existential emptiness will be upon us and you’ll be seeing more gifs and tag yelling.

Although it’s just been so quiet among the nice people here and so loud among the idiots that I might just take several steps back from Tumblr in general, just for my mental health. There seems little point in making gifs nobody reblogs and saying anything when it’s drowned out by the types who give liberals a bad name (honestly, some of the shit people say on here would already have made me a Nazi were I a bloke, because apparently nothing is ever enough and I’ll always be Doing it Wrong anyway; you’re not making tolerance seem worthwhile, if you nevertheless beat the tolerant person up for wearing the wrong types of socks).

I’m still looking for that fandom old people’s home, so if you find it, that place where people are old enough to have some fucking perspective, do let me know.

This whole place is eerily reminiscent of an abusive relationship where you’re constantly having to tiptoe because you never know when the next explosion is going to come and where from, what sort of utterly random thing someone is going to call abusive now and beat you up for, even if you’ve been working hard not to upset them, have made deliberate choices to accommodate them because you know their wounds. It’s like Borderline Personality Disorder, but in the form of a website. (And yes, I know first-hand what BPD is like. Had the spouse, had the flatmate, had the fuckbuddies, had the friends.) And the worst thing about BPD is that it’s catching: being around a human minefield makes everyone jumpy, and then *their* jumpiness becomes tyrannical towards others (when the hurt person is just self-defending, they feel) and then the cycle continues. Everybody is paranoid and beating everybody up in the name of great justice, and undermining everyone else’s psyches to the point where they become human minefields themselves. And they don’t know how to stop that cycle, if they’re in denial about having a problem, because of course, if you hurt and lash out, you’re just defending yourself. (Being told you’re a shitty person for freaking out at a trigger is worse than being triggered. Good luck trying to crawl out of that into any semblance of health, if you feel you’re just an explosive piece of crap forever.)

And while I know I can help a bit by stepping outside of that and offering fic and pics and lols where people can forget about it all, I’m still in two minds about offering it in a direction where the recipient is never going to be happy anyway, and where the effort is (or seems) wasted as long as the receiving end isn’t doing any conscious healing/rebuilding itself to better appreciate healthier things. It does nothing. Why am I buying medicine for someone who abuses me for it and throws the bottle in my face? I’ve been there, trying to please people who were locked up in their traumas and paranoias, throwing all my love and effort and work at them to no avail because I thought I could help; I’m not keen on doing it again. Because now I’m old enough to know I’m wasting my time, as brutal and as “selfish” that sounds (how about calling it “self-preservation?” “Sanity?” “Kindness to oneself?” I know women are beaten out of daring to have that, for daring to even think their lives aren’t meant to be lived for other people, but fucking watch me go).

Just like partners and friends aren’t the same as professional help, fandom isn’t the ultimate cure for depression/trauma unless there’s an inner change in the ill person to better utilise it. I was that ill person and I had to go through a lot of therapy and growth to not become a 24/7 abusive bitch myself (I still have shitty hypersensitivities, but those are in-built–they’re bad enough). I changed the way I see fannish activities (I now really do see them as medicine), and only then could I enjoy them to the fullest and only then could I start writing really good fic, because it comes from a firm ground of faith in the inherent value of fic. It’s a really complicated thing to explain, the interrelationships of fandom, queer people and mental health (there should be a book on fandom/queerdom and mentalness–we are wonky in the head, sometimes fucking awfully so, and it’s *not* all due to persecution but genes).

But my gist is that there’s no point in endlessly remaining in a draining relationship with someone who doesn’t want to heal–Tumblr’s anxiety-mongering culture of self-hate, ahoy! One has to pick one’s “battles” and channel one’s energy somewhere where it’s actually going to bear fruit. Not on a site that says the phrase “I don’t discriminate by colour” is racist, or that a feminist, mixed-race royal princess “isn’t enough” or that a given sexual minority gets to rule it over everyone else. Not on a site full of kids who are too young/American to have known *real* homophobia and racism, and who don’t realise that for most people, in the real world, even not being racist or homophobic is a *choice.*

Which is why I miss that supportive community of other brainy, feminist and reasonable fans who actually had conversations so. Fucking. Much. Where are they? (DW is where the militant vegan lesbian sociopath SJWs went, and if you’re not keen on eternal frowny moral meta, ehhh.)

Where’s the actual fun? Where are the other fans who are old enough to have been through therapy and who have experienced real relationships and have known actual real “minority” people IRL, and who consequently have an open mind about things? Who can see that things really aren’t as black and white as they thought they were when they were in their teens? Where are the fans who know something about psychology and psychiatry? The ones who know how gendered socialisation works and just how deep it goes, and who aren’t fans of Tumblr essentialism and its blindness to gender-based toxins? The fans who actually understand and respect the intelligence of other fans, instead of kneejerk assumptions of ignorance and moral corruption? The fans who legit don’t think a Gen X writer who forgot to use–or simply didn’t know about the existence of–a new politically correct term, is as evil as Hitler (because ignorance=/=active, intentional oppression, Jesus!)? The fans who respect the labor that goes into fanfic and fanart and always leave comments or otherwise support fan creators, instead of thinking of writers as vending machines for something “dirty” they feel ashamed for reading?

Because I’m that kind of “old” fan and I’ll be there for you if you’re there for me.

I just need to know where the fuck you are!

#mental health #whatever else i need to tag this as #discourse #? #personal #there's an unfortunate type of the entitled american kid on here #who's never been called the n-word in her face repeatedly and spat on #and who hasn't had dog shit dropped through her letterbox #which is the reality of anyone even slightly sepia over in most of europe #so yeah... #the gap between the world i grew up in and its intolerances #compared to what some people think isn't enough now #is just... mindboggling #tolerance is still a choice #and i feel more and more spite building up in myself at the entitled shit #to the point where i'd actively want to do something nasty to the whiners #(clarification: in the sense of smacking some sense into them by showing how bad it can be/is) #but i don't bc i'm a fucking decent human being #most straight white guys though? they are now acting on that spite #if you don't give someone a chance and condemn them #you are leaving them with very few alternatives #it's the good old reactionary syndrome of demon pride--call someone evil=they'll celebrate it #ah well anyway i guess i should return to my fic

[hpbayushi]

Chapter 01

“Wat da bloody fuck?!” Harry Potter though looking at the weird misshapen little construction in the bottom of the Durlley’s property. That was the headmaster’s idea of a solution? A small shag on the back of the backyard? The building was badly done, not one if the sides was straight, looking at it, there was doubt he would even fit inside. But as many magical constructions it was probably bigger on the inside. Also, Harry could feel the security wards both on the locker and around the small monstrosity.

He opened the small door, as expected it was a little bigger on the inside. There was also a shining chain hanging from the ceiling. He shivered thinking on what he had to do with it. On the door, in a plank there was also some wolfsbane potions, enough to last the summer.

“I imagine how much money the headmaster must had payed to Vernon, there is no other way he had gone along with that”. Harry shivered again thinking on the enormous man who has been the source of most of the pain he had felt in his first 10 years. He almost wished the magical bounds don't work on the next full moon.

“In the end” Harry tough, “is just another prison, like the others, and I trough myself in it this time.” But also, for the first time, he didn't regret a thing, he would do all over again if needed. He didn't even feel guilty, what was a first. Nor even angry.

He just felt alone…

Hermione tried, for the fourth time now, to start her essay on transfiguration. And for the fourth time she couldn't pass the third line. Just looking at the parchment in front of her make all the memories come back. Sirius, Wormtail, Remus and specifically Harry.

Something was wrong, and had been for some time. Just now she was putting the pieces together. How could the headmaster isolate Harry like that. And let him comeback to people who treated him so bad! Harry never spoke about it, he had that infuriating treat of keeping the bad things to himself until it exploded. But she could see it in his deep emerald eyes when he talked about the Durlleys, a scar almost as great as the one on his forehead. And now, there was also the full moon problem.

The tears run down to the pages of the transfiguration book as she remembered. Harry's scream as the fangs buried on his shoulder when he shielded her. The blood flowing through his shirt. The faint smile as he reassured her. Sirius tried to help, but was not fast enough. The, for a second, the humanity returned to Remus’s eyes, and he fleed. After, Harry said was not Remus's or Hermione's fault. That the most important was that she was safe. That bloody selfless part, she wanted to scream, always thinking about the others before himself!

No, this year would be different, she would help him, he deserved to find some Happiness, and she would do it for him. “And I will get him a bloody cellphone!!! I doubt that medieval lot of the ministry, and even the headmaster will be able to trace it! He just need to keep it hidden from the Durlleys.”

Fleur stopped in front of the big doors of her father studio. She could hear voices, what was not strange per se, specifically after her father started running for minister of magic. But something was different this time. The voices sounded scared. Desperate even.

“You don't understand Jacques” one of the voices said in English “ I cursed him!!! Dammit, how could I destroy his life even more! He already suffered enough!” The man sounded desperate, almost crying.

“No Remus” another english voice, this one sounding tired, “unless I am as guilty as you!! We both know who to blame here, who created this entire situation…”

“Friends” she headed her father now “this conversation is no longer private, Fleur darling, you may come in”

With a small jump, she opened the door.

She saw two men in the room with her father. They both look dirty and tired, almost scary, looking in awe at her.

Fleur was used to man looking at her, she was used to ignoring the disgusting looks some throw, almost undressing her with those eyes. Her mother taught her since she was very young not only how to live and control her alure, but also how to use it on her favour. But the looks now direct to her were different. She couldn't see lust on those strange man eyes, but a mixture of surprise and admiration.

“Mon dieu…” the man who has the hair and beard black as the night said in a French with heavy English accent “You… you grow up so much… you became a beautiful woman, just like your mother” he finished looking at Jacques with a smile.

“I don't know if you will remember us Fleur” the other man said in a much better French, but with a more tired voice “ the last time we meet, you were no older than three or four. My name is Remus Lupin, and this big speechless dumb is Sirius Black.”

“Oui” her father said. “The last time was on James and Lily’s Christmas party…” Yes, there was something familiar, but Fleur couldn't put a finger on it.

Always polite she answered “I can't say I remember, but is always a pleasure to meet my father's friends, specifically ones who go back so long. But papa, you asked for me, no…”

Jacques smiled, in that manner she was like him, just like she was beautiful and smart as her mother. “I have information concerning your school this year dear” she looked at him with curiosity “ I know for a fact that you and some of your colleagues will be travelling to Britain in a couple months” now she looked astonished “but I will not lie, the news coming from there are not reassuring. Not only we are seeing a rise of an extremely retrograde pureblood movement” all three men smiled at the disgust on her face “ but there also even scarier rumours of something moving underground…”

“I can take care of myself” she interrupted “you know that! Please do not worry. Also, I pity the fool who even looks the wrong way to madam Maxine”

“Oui, I will not even try to dissuade you dear, it would do me no good. I may say I am even proud of that. No, what I want is to ask to you for something… we need you to do so.for us…”

Fleur looked curiously to her father and his weird friends, feeling exited.

“Now… what I am about to ask you are a secret, and borderline illegal I may add, and can generate some international… discomfort… but I would not ask if I didn't trust you, and if was not from extreme importance to protect the students from Hogwarts and possibly all other schools. Are you on with it?”

Fleur didn't even bother to hide her smile. And for the next hour she listened to her father.

An hour later, exited with her mission, and proud of the trust her father put on her, Fleur closed the doors. Not even a second to late she listened to the men talking again.

“Do you think she remembers Jacques” the man called Remus asked, possible unaware of the vella's sensitive sense of audition.

“I don't know, it was a long time ago, she was too small, and had suffered enough… but I doubt a connection like that could be totally lost. But she is her own person now” Fleur didn't know what they were talking about, but feel it was important, and it was about her.

That night Fleur had a really strange and vivid dream. She was naked, and with her an enormous wolf. The beast walked to her, and instead of being afraid, she felt touched by his eyes. The were of the most profound emerald green she has ever seen….

#Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction

[obtusemedia]

The 100 best songs of the 2010s: #50-26

#50: “I Love It” by Icona Pop feat. Charli XCX (2012)

“I Love It” is about as close as the early ‘10s bubblegum pop scene got to punk rock. 

Swedish one-hit-wonders Icona Pop, with the songwriting help of pop wizard Charli XCX, crafted a single that feels like a punch in the face. It’s short, it’s repetitive and it flies middle fingers in the face of authority, older generations and anyone else who pissed them off. The bridge’s iconic line, “You’re from the ‘70s, but I’m a ‘90s bitch,” sums up the theme of “I Love It” more than I ever could.

#49: “Shut Up Kiss Me” by Angel Olsen (2016)

I feel bad putting Angel Olsen — unequivocally one of the ‘10′s greatest talents — this relatively low on the list. But she’s more of an album artist than a singles one, so just listen to MY WOMAN if you want a more full picture of her.

But she does have at least one instant showstopper in her catalogue. “Shut Up Kiss Me” is a a perfect mix of too-cool indie and painfully Midwestern heartland rock. Olsen’s voice is defiantly old-school, like a Greatest Generation-era country singer or Lana Del Rey-via-Missouri, but she makes it work somehow over the song’s clanging garage-rock guitars.

“Shut Up Kiss Me” is a spark of energetic, flirty fun, proving the ‘90s and ‘50s should be combined more often.

#48: “Uptown Funk” by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars (2014)

After starting the 2010′s with some insanely bland pop, Bruno Mars wisely course-corrected into slick retro-pop and delivered some of the best hits of the decade. “24K Magic,” “Locked Out Of Heaven,” “Finesse,” “Treasure” — all wonderful in my book.

But of course, none of Mars’ hits compare to the towering masterpiece that is “Uptown Funk.” That’s partly because he teamed up with another retro-pop titan, Mark Ronson, to deliver the goods. The combination of Mars’ borderline-kitsch, cartoony swagger and Ronson’s Minneapolis-style funk is a wonder to behold. It’s easy to dance to, easy to sing (or I guess, chant) along with, so it’s no wonder that it conquered the world in early 2015.

Does “Uptown Funk” shamelessly ripoff Morris Day and The Gap Band? Sure. But sometimes, pastiches can turn into something greater.

#47: “212″ by Azealia Banks (2011)

I’d rather not talk about how Azealia Banks self-destructed her own career by starting (and losing) feuds left and right. Even Kanye West would be embarrassed at her lack of filter.

No, let’s focus on that brief window where Banks appeared to be the future of hip-hop, thanks to her firebomb of a single, “212.” This song still goes hard in the paint eight years later. The playful, bouncy beat is a perfect match for Banks’ dexterous flow and filthy lines. It somehow still retains its shocking power nine years later.

Banks had that power to grab your attention. It’s a shame that talent went to waste, but at least we’ll always have “212.”

#46: “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall” by Coldplay (2011)

Just wanted to remind all of you: Coldplay was actually really good. Even on their obnoxiously optimistic, day-glo 2011 album Mylo Xyloto. And especially on that album’s lead single, the EDM-lite, slow-burning, anthemic “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall.”

Is it corny? Of course, it’s Coldplay. Does it light up every pleasure center in my brain anyways? Again: Of course, it’s Coldplay. Just give into the U2-esque guitars, thumping synths and Chris Martin wailing away about waterfalls or whatever. I don’t know why it works, but it sure as hell does.

#45: “Capacity” by Charly Bliss (2019)

After writing an entire album of bubbly grunge-pop jams filled with non sequiturs, New Yorkers Charly Bliss got a little more serious with their follow up, “Capacity.” The new wave anthem perfectly encapsulates the suffering of emotional labor, and when you try to be everything for everyone. Lead singer Eva Hendricks’ normally vibrant voice is self-constrained for most of the song, until the climax, when it feels like a weight has been lifted off. 

“Capacity” is the perfect compromise for Charly Bliss: It retains their irresistible hooks, while using that pop songwriting to convey something more important. 

#44: “Rollercoaster” by Bleachers (2014)

Jack Antonoff is probably the pop producer of the decade. His ‘80s-fetishizing fingerprints are all over the ‘10s pop scene, from his bombastic early days with fun., to his minimalist work with Lorde’s career-defining Melodrama. And don’t forget Taylor Swift’s career-derailing reputation — his production was one of that album’s bright spots.

But naturally, the songs Antonoff saved for himself and his side project Bleachers were perfect pop nuggets too. “Rollercoaster” is probably Bleachers’ best. This slice of pure, unfiltered new wave bubblegum is so catchy that you’d swear it’s a cover of a classic pop song from 30 years earlier. You’d have to try pretty damn hard (or just dislike pop) to dislike it.

#43: “Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)” by Arcade Fire (2010)

Remember when Arcade Fire were still the darlings of the music industry? One listen to The Suburbs and you’ll be reminded why they were at one point considered the indie U2.

“Sprawl II” is just one of many highlights on The Suburbs, but as the climax of that album, it’s bulletproof. Regine Chassagne takes the vocal reigns here, delivering her best-ever yelpy, high-pitched performance. In an album all about the suffocating nature of suburban sprawl, “Sprawl II” perfectly encapsulates the difficulty of escaping the endless housing developments and crumbling strip malls. In a way, it’s the millennials’ “Born To Run” — all about getting away to a brighter future. Just swap crumbling factories for drive-thrus.

#42: “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa (2019)

Dua Lipa was always a solid popstar. Jams like “Electricity” and “New Rules” were fun, energetic dance-pop singles. But she was never truly transcendent until “Don’t Start Now” arrived in the decade’s waning months. Lipa went full disco queen on the track, effortlessly riding a fat slap-bass line all the way to pop euphoria. Her robotic, staccato delivery on the chorus sells the song’s icy post-breakup-brushoff feel. If “Don’t Start Now” is any indication, expect Lipa to be one of the 2020s’ best stars. 

#41: “Scorpio Rising” by Soccer Mommy (2018)

Nashville singer-songwriter Sophie Allison, AKA Soccer Mommy (maybe the decade’s best/worst band name), doesn’t dance around with her lyrics. They cut straight to the heartbreak in the most brutal way. And there’s no song that exemplifies this better than her power-ballad, “Scorpio Rising.”

The slow-burner is about a slowly-dissolving long-distance relationship. Allison knows her boyfriend has eyes on someone else that actually lives near him, and she has to let him go. It’s tragic in a routine way, and the twanging guitars and Allison’s longing vocals really sell both the realism and the angst of the scenario.

#40: “I Blame Myself” by Sky Ferreira (2013)

Pending on how great her long-awaited sophomore album Masochism is — if it ever comes out — Sky Ferreira will be one of the 10′s biggest what-ifs. After a solid EP in 2012, her 2013 debut, Night Time, My Time was a beautifully grimy blend of ‘80s new wave and ‘90s grunge. Even with HAIM, Chvrches and Lorde releasing debuts that year, Ferreira seemed to be the top of the pop class of 2013. But the second album still hasn’t arrived.

Luckily, Night Time, My Time is an untouchable masterpiece, and its synthpop centerpiece, “I Blame Myself,” shows exactly what Ferreira’s capable of. Surrounded by songs with crashing guitars, the bright synths and drum machine rumble makes it one of the album’s more minimalist tracks. And the song itself is a great exploration of the guilt, anger and self-doubt that comes after a breakup. It’s a more-than-worthy sequel to her breakout single, “Everything Is Embarrassing.”

#39: “Dreams and Nightmares (Intro)” by Meek Mill (2012)

Me, listening to the first 96 seconds of “Dreams and Nightmares”: Yeah, okay, this is pretty nice. It’s a good come-up track, dreamy instrumentation.

Me, starting at the 97-second mark of “Dreams and Nightmares” and for the rest of the song: OH MY GOD MY HEART RATE JUST TRIPLED WHAT’S HAPPENING IS THIS THE GREATEST SONG EVER

#38: “Closer” by The Chainsmokers and Halsey (2016)

The Chainsmokers made a lot of bad music in the 2010s. Halsey made a lot of mediocre music in the same time frame. But when they joined forces? An accidental masterpiece was created.

I’m not going to argue that “Closer” is high art by any means. It’s trashy to the highest degree, and it’s not even critic-approved, hipstery bubblegum like Carly Rae Jepsen or Charli XCX. Nope, “Closer” is the definition of lowest-common-denominator pop. There’s not much special to it.

Then why do I love it so much? Three years later, I still remember every word will sing along with glee. I love the random, pointless details like that mattress stolen in Boulder, or that Blink-182 song overplayed in Tuscon (the song’s couple apparently spent lots of time in Pac-12 college towns...surprised they didn’t throw in a shout-out to Corvallis while they were at it). I love the cheap-sounding bleepy-bloopy drop. And I legitimately think, despite being a bland singer, Andrew Taggart has vocal chemistry with Halsey.

“Closer” will likely never be a critical darling. But I think it’ll stick around in the public consciousness as a guilty pleasure — I know it’s my favorite guilty pleasure of the 10s. I guess that makes it the “Don’t Stop Believin’“ of this decade. There are certainly worse things to be.

#37: “House of Balloons / Glass Table Girls” by The Weeknd (2011)

In 2011 — before he became Daft Punk’s new muse, before he developed an uncanny knack for writing songs that sound like lost Michael Jackson classics, before he became a hook artist for Beyoncé and Kanye, even before he fought Adam Sandler in a Safdie Brothers movie — The Weeknd was just a mysterious, shadowy figure. Nobody knew what he looked like, or what his real name was. And that didn’t matter, because he gave us gloriously depraved futurist R&B classics like “House of Balloons / Glass Table Girls.”

As much as I love The Weeknd’s pop sellout era — I struggled not putting “Starboy,” “I Feel It Coming” or “The Hills” on this list — “House of Balloons/Glass Table Girls” is something truly special. The two-part song starts as an invitation into The Weeknd’s creepy world. With a heavy Siouxie and the Banshees sample (not the only time he borrowed from ‘80s art-rock), he lets the listener into his “happy house,” which sounds anything but.

By the time you reach the song’s second half, things take a sharp veer into overt sleaze, all cocaine and sex. The song is so nocturnal here that if you listen to it during the day, Spotify will refuse to play it. “Glass Table Girls,” like The Weekend, is a creature of the night. And even though he’d have better hooks later in this career, that first hedonistic rush is still the best.

#36: “Gone” by Charli XCX feat. Christine and the Queens (2019)

Charli XCX, after years of getting ~this close~ to penning a generational anthem, finally hit the nail on the head in the last summer of the decade.

“Gone” is an anxious, dystopian banger worthy of two of the ‘10′s best alt-pop heroes. It perfectly captures the intense self-loathing and fear when surrounded by people you don’t know/don’t like. And wrapping it all up in a glitched-out breakdown? *chef’s kiss*

#35: “BOOGIE” by BROCKHAMPTON (2017)

“BOOGIE” is the sound of absolute chaos. The beat is composed of a lurching bassline, air-raid sirens and a squawking sax riff, all turned up to 11. Throw in radically varying verses from six (!!) different BROCKHAMPTON members, a music video where the sprawling Texas collective paints themselves blue and wreaks havoc in a convenience store and weirdo bars including arguably the most non sequitur/best flex of the decade (“Best boy band since One Direction/Making n*ggas itch like a skin infection”), and you’ve got a perfect BROCKHAMPTON song.

In the past couple years, BROCKHAMPTON has refined their sound a solid, reliable formula: quirky bars, creaky beats, general vibe of angst. The collective is more reliably good now, but there was something special about their unpredictable crash-landing in 2017. “BOOGIE,” while being an absolute banger, still features Joba delivering an entire voice in a yelping scream, and Merlyn Wood (my favorite of the group) rhymes “willy” with itself 40 times or so. It’s a deeply odd song. But it’s the best kind of odd.

#34: “The Woman That Loves You” by Japanese Breakfast (2015)

A gorgeous introduction to what would become one of the late-’10′s premier indie acts, “The Woman That Loves You” is synthy dream-pop perfected.

Michelle Zauner, AKA Japanese Breakfast, has one of those voices that works as its own instrument, bending and shifting timbres when the song needs it. In “Woman,” her softer, cooing style is mostly used to fit the dusky atmosphere created by the song’s hypnotic guitar riff and slowly rumbling drums. And when the song’s climax hits in the song’s middle, her vocals burst into exasperated joy while twinkling synths explode in the background.

“The Woman That Loves You” is a songs that demands to be listened to at twilight; it’s a potential end-credits classic. The fact that Zauner was able to live up to its promise with two incredible albums just makes her debut single’s legacy even stronger.

#33: “Shabba” by A$AP Ferg feat. A$AP Rocky (2013)

The A$AP Crew’s peak turned out to be surprisingly short. Ater A$AP Rocky and A$AP Ferg dominated 2013, their careers wound up in gradual decline afterwards. Rocky honorably tried to switch up his style, but nothing ever stuck and Travis Scott took over his lane. And Ferg just kind of became bland.

But the duo will always have one glorious moment: the ignant-rap masterpiece “Shabba.” Over a trunk-rattling beat that sounds like a Hitchcock soundtrack filtered through a trap lens, Ferg and Rocky have the time of their lives bragging about money and women. On the surface, it’s a generic trap song. But it’s the platonic ideal for a generic trap song — both insanely fun, but with a bit of legitimate edge. It’s something MCs would try to top for the rest of the decade. And they would never come close.

#32: “Adored” by Hatchie (2018)

It’s been only about two years since Hatchie released her debut single, “Sure,” and yet the Brisbane artist already feels like an essential figure in ‘10s dream pop. Her ghostly vocals and spaced-out guitars hit the ground running immediately, and she hasn’t disappointed since.

Hatchie’s best single, “Adored,” is probably about the closest she came to a true dancefloor filler. The single — released by Adult Swim, weirdly enough — is a yearning and insanely catchy. It sounds like if The Cranberries added some synthesizers and a pounding, euphoric dance beat to one of their classic songs. Hatchie makes the listener wait over two minutes for the chorus, but its melody is so pristine that it’s worth the wait. And if she’s willing to toss off a dream pop anthem as spectacular as “Adored” as a loosie single, I think Hatchie has a very bright future ahead.

#31: “Loud Places” by Jamie xx feat. Romy (2015)

The hook for Jamie xx’s solo debut album, In Color, is that it didn’t try to sound like London rave music. Instead, it captured the feelings and emotions that ravers feel while in London’s nightclubs. It was a dance album that made you think of dancing, rather than make you actually want to dance.

That sounds pretentious as hell, I realize, but Jamie xx — a member of indie-pop stalwarts The xx — nailed the execution, particularly on the haunting lead single with The xx’s lead singer, Romy, “Loud Places.”

The song is about finding euphoria on the dance floor, but instead of being a banger, it’s mostly subdued and minimalist. Its verses are just Romy’s whispers, plus a few quiet synths. Then, a ghostly sample of a 1977 soul song explodes into the mix with pounding drums, and you’re hypnotized. A twinkling percussion loop and a repeated, twanging guitar riff rush in to compliment.

With “Loud Places,” Jamie xx proved that he was ready to move beyond The xx’s hyper-minimalist style, and create his own type of anthem.

#30: “Harvard” by Diet Cig (2015)

Diet Cig’s best songs work because of their raw emotional power. Lead singer/guitarist Alex Luciano has a voice that, while not as technically impressive as an Ariana Grande or Whitney Houston, can perfectly deliver anguish and outrage. And she was never more powerful than on Diet Cig’s breakout single, “Harvard.”

The feeling conveyed in “Harvard” is jealousy and betrayal: A guy starts dating a bougie Ivy League woman after breaking up with the narrator. The short song dives get into detail for much of its running time, with Luciano sneering that her new girlfriend’s “not as loud” and making fun of his new, white-collar life.

But the song’s thesis, and arguably the best chorus of the decade, is saved for the final 30 seconds of the song. Over crashing drums and lo-fi guitar, Luciano screams off-key, “FUCK YOUR IVY LEAGUE SWEATER!” It’s both visceral and relatable for anyone who feels left behind.

#29: “Shallow” by Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga (2018)

“Shallow” is the best soundtrack song of the decade and one of the best of all time. Despite its odd structure, the chemistry between Bradley Cooper (and his solid Eddie Vedder impersonation) and Lady Gaga — sorry, I mean Jackson Maine and Ally — is undeniable. And that magical “AHHHAAAAAAAAA” where Gaga reminds everyone that she’s arguably the greatest vocal powerhouse of her generation? Ugh. It’s perfect.

Also, if I can get on a tangent — A Star Is Born should’ve swept the 2018 Oscars. In what universe is Green Book a better movie? Or Rami Malek’s lip-synching job a better performance than Bradley Cooper’s tragic, grizzled turn? (Olivia Colman was very good in The Favourite, so I can live with Gaga losing).

#28: “I Can Never Be Myself When You’re Around” by Chromatics (2015)

Chromatics were the decade’s most frustrating, yet brilliant act. The Portland group only put out one full-length album in the 2010′s — 2012′s stellar Kill For Love — before waiting three years to put out follow-up singles in 2015 with the promise of a new album, Dear Tommy, by Valentine’s Day. But Dear Tommy has yet to arrive nearly five years later, and almost all of its incredible singles were taken down from streaming services.

One of those disappearing singles (that just returned this fall!!) was “I Can Never Be Myself When You’re Around,” a roller-disco masterpiece. It managed to hold onto Chromatics’ signature ghostly ‘80s-noir sound while adding a thumping bass line and snapping snare drums. The band had made danceable tunes before, like “Looking For Love,” but they were usually more minimalist affairs. “When You’re Around” is the Chromatics formula on steroids, and shockingly it works.

#27: “Wednesday Night Melody” by Bleached (2016)

From its raucous skater-punk guitars to the undeniably catchy Go-Go’s vocal harmonies, “Wednesday Night Melody” is the platonic ideal for a Los Angeles rock jam.

Bleached, one of the decade’s most underrated acts, has written plenty of songs written for driving full-speed with the windows down on Pacific Coast Highway, but “Wednesday Night Melody” is their sound perfected. Receiving the torch from fellow Californians Weezer, Bleached found just the right balance between massive hooks and crunchy guitars. It’s the pinnacle of the mid-’10s brief bubblegum-punk movement.

#26: “LMK” by Kelela (2017)

“LMK,” the highlight of arguably the decade’s finest R&B album, Take Me Apart, is a masterclass in retrofuturism.

Kelela and producers Jam City create a blacklight alternate reality with “LMK,” in which 1986, 1999 and 2050 all seamlessly meld. The new-wave synths, stuttering Timbaland-esque rhythms and icy vibe make for an incredible experience. Kelela’s cool is impenetrable — appropriate given as the song is basically telling a potential lover in the club to chill out and just talk to her.

In a weak era for R&B, it’s truly a shame that Kelela hasn’t yet become the megastar she deserves to be. But in that alternate reality, weirdo bangers like “LMK” are playing 24/7.

#top 100 songs of 2010s

[laurelwinchester]

DEAN/LAUREL FOR THE MEME!

Paging goshutuplucifer because you also sent me D/L for this meme.

who hogs the duvet: Laurel. She is always cold and she tosses and turns in her sleep, which means she usually wakes up all tangled in the blankets. Dean tends to run hot anyway so he doesn’t really care about the lack of blankets but she always feels so guilty when sees that she’s stolen all the covers so when she inevitably wakes up before him, she carefully covers him up and lets him sleep in.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going: They both do this a lot. However, neither one of them actually say outright that they’re texting to check in so they just send each other texts about dinner or grocery lists or random things about their day. If one of them is out of town - if he’s on a case or she’s off working with the Justice League - they kind of up their check in texts. Occasionally, one of them will bluntly send a text that says something like yo, babe, you still alive???? Especially if it’s been over 24 hours since the last check in. But most of the time, they try to be lowkey in their worrying.

She’ll send him selfies of her expression while she’s stuck listening to Oliver or Bruce drone on in meetings just to let him know she’s still alive and uninjured. Or she’ll try to start conversations by texting him random things like Kara says hi and she’s sending me home with Eliza’s recipe for sweet potato pie or Helena’s in a mood today. She keeps threatening to “dickpunch” Ollie. Has she talked to you at all?

Meanwhile, when Dean wants her to know that he’s okay or when he’s fishing for a response to let him know she’s not dead, he just sends her a lot of pictures of random birds all with the caption is this u?

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: Okay, so, Laurel’s grandmother had this really ornate jewelry box that had been in the family for generations. Laurel absolutely loved that thing. She’d admired it since she was a kid. It was so beautiful. It was supposed to be passed down to Dinah but when Beatrice saw how much Laurel loved it, she planned to give it to her. But when Bea and Richard moved from their house into the nursing home, it was broken in the move. A couple of years later, Dean had the box recreated and gave it to Laurel on her birthday. It was amazing. She cried.

Of course, Sam was the one who pointed out, “That was nice, dude, but you fucked yourself. Now you have to try to top that every year.”

Dean considered that but eventually just threw his arms out with a smirk and went, “Challenge accepted.”

who gets up first in the morning: Laurel gets up at an obnoxiously early time to go for her morning run. Most of the time, when she does this, she’ll wake him up briefly just to let him know that she’s heading out for her run and he’ll sleepily mumble something like “have a good run” or “I’ll have coffee waiting when you get back” but sometimes he’s just like “it’s six in the morning, what the fuck, go back to sleep, what is your life.” Because who wakes up at six in the morning on a Saturday in the winter to go for a run?

who suggests new things in bed: I feel like they’re both on pretty even ground at this point. In the beginning, however, it was Dean who made the suggestions. He had more experience than she did and he wanted her to be happy, comfortable, and satisfied. So there are a few things he’s responsible for introducing her to, sure, but he’s also just responsible for helping to loosen her up a bit and make her more comfortable in the bedroom. She’s always been a sex positive person in theory but you need the right partner for some things and I will bet everything I own that pre-island Oliver was selfish in bed. Dean, on the other hand, is very giving and there’s definitely a level of trust there that she didn’t have before.

who cries at movies: 90% of the time this is Laurel. Unless they’re watching a Disney movie. Then it’s both of them.

who gives unprompted massages: Dean does this all the time. Half the time he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. He just likes to be touching her to remind himself that she’s still there. It becomes a habit for him. And it he really good with his hands. He massages are amazing and she carries so much stress in her neck and shoulders so she is on board with that habit. Never turn down a Dean Winchester massage, honestly.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick: They both do this because they’re both caretakers by nature, but Dean is a bit more insistent in his fussing. Which works out perfectly because Laurel is needy af when she’s sick.

who gets jealous easiest: It used to be Dean, especially in regards to a certain ex of hers, but at this point, neither one of them really bother with jealousy anymore because it’s honestly just a waste of time. Overprotectiveness? Sure. But jealousy? Not so much.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music: Oh, Laurel. It’s not all embarrassing. She likes classic rock, indie music, and she went through a belated Riot Grrrl phase when she was 12/13 and some of that stuck, but her not-so-guilty-pleasure music is Top 40. Her workout playlist is all Britney, Taylor Swift, and Beyonce. She is not at all embarrassed by this, though. She also uses it whenever she needs to get her way.

Like, one night, right after Thea’s moved in with them, Laurel and Dean get in the world’s dumbest argument over whether or not they need a dishwasher (she’s for, he’s against) and it just goes on and on and on and on. Thea, equal parts irritated and amused, goes to hide in her room. She’s in bed, online shopping and live texting the fight to Sam, when she hears Laurel yell, “Don’t make me do the thing, Dean!”

And he’s like, “Do not do the thing!”

Then there’s just a lot of incoherent protesting from Dean, followed by the sound of the Spice Girls, followed by a, “DAMN IT, LAUREL!”

Thea frowns and has to text Oliver: what does it mean when laurel puts on spice girls in the middle of an argument????

His response is quick: She’s going to get whatever she wants.

Thea: ??????

Oliver: It’s her idea of a filibuster. Then, a minute later: Has she started dancing yet? She’s a terrible dancer.

Thea: awww that’s mean bro. she tries. she’s still a better dancer than you.

Anyway, the next morning, when she’s in the kitchen, eating cereal and reading one of Laurel’s old Vogue magazines, Dean comes into the kitchen. He pours himself a cup of coffee, sighs heavily, and asks her, “Do you need anything from Ikea? We’re getting a dishwasher.”

(This answer got long. I just wanted everyone to know that Laurel Lance stages filibusters with the Spice Girls because it seemed like really important information.)

who collects something unusual: Dean sends her a postcard every time he’s out of town so she has a collection of those that she keeps in a box by her bed. But also, THIS GIRL IS A BORDERLINE HOARDER. Whatever home she’s in, it’s cluttered. She keeps everything. She has magazines dating back to 2005, a bunch of her grandparents’ things (including a bunch of fine china that she never knows what to do with), flea market finds, and way too many shoes.

who takes the longest to get ready: Generally speaking, it’s Laurel. But if they’re going to some fundraiser or gala in Star City or out to dinner with her father, it’s Dean who takes the longest. He’s just dragging his feet but he’ll insist it was because he needed an extra minute for his hair because, “Do you think I just wake up like this?” Her response to that is always a dry, “I wake up next to you, honey. I know for a fact you wake up like that. It’s annoying. I hate you a little bit for it.”

who is the most tidy and organized: Neither of them are particularly tidy and organized but Dean might take this one just because of the borderline hoarder thing. She has so much stuff that their house is practically bursting at the seams. And you know what else? She leaves her goddamned shoes everywhere. He has nearly died before because she left a stiletto in the living room. (He didn’t “nearly die” but that’s what it said in his all caps text.) But, at the same time, Dean doesn’t fold clothes. The bedroom is full of all these piles of clothes and Laurel never knows what’s clean and what’s not because that man is allergic to folding clothes and putting laundry away.

who gets most excited about the holidays: Laurel loves the holidays! She was so excited to move into their cozy little house because it meant trick or treaters at Halloween. She spends weeks fixing up goodie bags for the kids and decorating the house and planning costumes and forcing Dean to make a menu for the Halloween party. She puts up the Christmas tree and starts playing Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving. She stands at the bottom of the ladder while she tells Dean where to put all the lights. She plans the Easter egg hunt for all the kids in the Justice League.

She gets so full of energy around the holidays that people keep telling Dean that they need to hurry up and have kids because she needs somewhere to put all that “weird holiday energy.”

who is the big spoon/little spoon: They take turns because sharing is caring.

who gets more competitive when playing games and/or sports: One year, there is a softball game between all of the superhero teams. We’re talking all of them. Team Arrow, Team Flash, Sara’s time traveling team, the Birds of Prey, Supergirl and Friends, other various members of the Justice League and their teams. It’s supposed to be a team building exercise. Dean is offered a spot with Laurel and her girls but his response basically boils down to, “Hard pass.” Still, on the day of, he dutifully shows up with Cas and sits in the bleachers with a very pregnant, very tired, and very grumbly Iris West-Allen. Everything is fine for awhile. Until Oliver and Laurel get in an argument over his pitching abilities and it ends in her chasing him around the field.

Iris bursts into laughter and films the whole thing on her phone, managing to get out giggles of, “I take back every grumpy thing I’ve said today. This is the best thing that has ever happened!”

Dean does eventually manage to grab Laurel and toss her over his shoulder while she’s ranting and accusing Oliver of cheating, but not before he almost falls off the bleachers because he’s laughing so hard.

who starts the most arguments: Ummm, Dinah Laurel Lance: Lawyer By Day, Vigilante By Night. She should have “I’m a lawyer, I live to argue” tattooed on her forehead.

who suggests that they buy a pet: Pets have always been an ongoing discussion for them. Laurel was the one to bring it up first before they even got married, but they both decided to wait until they were working less and home more. It takes them a long time to be ready to pull the trigger on that particular issue. See, they’ve both always said that they’d like their kids to have a dog. But, you know, some things aren’t meant to be. The years pass and the people around them start getting married and having kids. Sam and Eileen have a daughter, Sara and Nyssa raise Nyssa’s nephew for a few years, Barry and Iris have twins, and even Oliver has William.

Meanwhile, Dean and Laurel have nothing but an empty house that feels too big and these chasms in their chest that they’ve tried and failed to fill. Finally, after 10 years together, 7 years of marriage, and 5 years of trying for a baby with nothing to show for it other than a handful of losses, they decide to adopt a pitbull puppy.

The puppy - a super sweet and shy little girl - doesn’t completely fill the void but she sure does love them a lot and they love her too.

what couple traditions do they have: They take a vacation once a year. That’s Laurel’s doing. Sometimes you just need to get away from the vigilante life, recharge your batteries, and have sex on a beach.

Also, it’s not so much a tradition as a habit, but they high five each other a lot. It’s weird. They do it for everything. It’s like every time they make a decision or every time they want to celebrate, they high five. Some people shake on it. Some people pinky swear. They high five. Nobody says anything about it for a long time until Claire is over for dinner one night and winds up blurting out, “Do you two do that all the time?”

Thea bursts out, “Oh my god, all the time!”

Dean and Laurel are both a little startled by that because they genuinely didn’t realize they were doing it that much. When he asks if they high five each other that much, Laurel is adamant that they don’t. Then a few seconds later, she looks up from what she’s doing and admits, slowly, “Well… We did high five after sex last night. Is that weird?”

Dean thinks long and hard about that before answering, “No, that was really great sex. It deserved a high five.”

And then Claire’s like, “Wow, we’re still at the table, you pervs.”

what tv shows they watch together: They used to watch cooking competitions together until an intervention was staged. Dean yelled at the television like a sports fan watching the superbowl and Laurel got way too emotionally invested in the people and their backstories.

what other couple they hang out with: I don’t know if they’re really a double date kind of couple but I can see them hanging out with Sam and Eileen, Sara and Nyssa, John and Lyla, and maybe Barry and Iris.

how they spend time together as a couple: They both work so much and they’re both out of town a lot so when they’re together, they prefer to spend their time at home doing absolutely nothing but watching bad movies on Netflix, eating pizza in bed, and ignoring the outside world.

who made the first move: Nobody knows for sure because they each have a different answer to that question. Dean says it was Laurel. Laurel says it was Dean. (…It was Laurel.)

who brings flowers home: Laurel loves having fresh flowers in the house but buying flowers all the time can get expensive so eventually she decides to just start her own garden in the backyard and they have flowers all over their property and they are never without a few vases of fresh flowers inside.

who is the best cook: No question about that. It’s Dean. Laurel tries, but it’s just safest for her to stay out of the kitchen.

Send me a ship and I’ll tell you

#dean x laurel #otp: the beauty of wild things #spn x arrow #asks #anon #my headcanon #ask meme #otp meme

[depressionincollege-blog]

Self-Care

Sometimes doing literally anything can feel incredibly draining, but it’s important to remember how you’ll feel after doing things that are good for you. What do you think of when you hear “self-care?” We all have different things that comfort us when we’re particularly depressed, and actively choosing the ones that are actually good for us over the ones that only provide temporary comfort (taking your second nap of the day, refreshing the same apps for three hours straight) is a big step for our mental health. Listed below are self-care activities for different areas and issues to consider instead of the same old guilty “pleasures” that you know don’t actually help!

For hygiene and body care:

Have a bath tub? Try making your own borderline-cheesy feel-good bath with all of that fancy shit: candles, bath bomb, body oil, your favorite music, and a fat glass of your favorite drink (something that won’t leave you hungover, preferably).

Too broke for all of that? If you live near a Target, check out their $4.99 Da Bomb Bath Fizzers--it’s a similar price to other bath bombs without the extra shipping cost. Other alternatives are bath oils for less than $5 and candles for less than $3. Treating yourself doesn’t have to mean spending out of your budget, and things like candles and oils won’t run out quickly.

Face masks are GREAT. Our skin is sensitive and spiteful, so when we forget about it in the middle of a particularly nasty depressive episode, it often likes revenge in uncomfortable breakouts, oiliness, or dryness. Give your skin a night off from external stress by slathering something good on it other than your shampoo. Find out what type of skin you have and choose a mask among the many from there. Stores like Walmart and Target often have single masks for less than $3, with some being less than $1. Just make sure you avoid bad ingredients that could make your skin worse!

Drink water. Lots of it. You forget to all the time, and you curse yourself for it, but take the initiative to actively remind yourself. Leave notes on your wall, desk, mirror, etc. Keep a bottle or cup of water beside your bed every night so you drink it as soon as you wake up. Keep some in the fridge so you have something cold to drink. Don’t subconsiously self-harm by dehydrating yourself--it sounds silly, but when you’re stuck in bed with cracked lips and your piss has been ugly yellow for two days, you need to drink some fucking water.

For distractions:

Feel that breakdown coming but you have class in twenty minutes? Keep a folder of funny or cute pictures on your phone, the ones you know you can’t project your endless misery onto. Fluffy dogs, screenshots from your favorite comic, even dumb “relatable” memes that allow you to laugh at yourself a bit.

Find a YouTube account you love and binge-watch their videos. Makeup tutorials with good music, those weird niche ASMR videos, slime mixing collections--there’s an account for most interests out there. Don’t watch something that will trigger you, even if you’re tempted to. Allow yourself time out of each day to exist outside of your depression bubble. 

Consider getting anxiety-relief toys to fidget and play with. Giving your hands something to do and your mind something to focus on can help in getting you out of an awful sadness wave. Check out the slime trend on Instagram--lots of people are now selling hundreds of variations of slimes and floams for anxiety relief. If you’re feeling up for it, try making your own. No money? Just watching slime videos can be calming and distracting.

For mental self-care:

How do you take care of your mind when it’s always trying to kill you? Surround yourself with positivity, especially regarding the areas of life you’re having the most trouble with. Bad body image? Gay and feeling disconnected from the LGBT community? Subjected to racism on a daily basis? There are positivity blogs and accounts on sites like Instagram and Tumblr for these issues and more that share uplifting and helpful content to make people feel a little less alone. Following and keeping up with positive media is a great way to keep yourself from feeling isolated. 

Read something. Abe Books is a great source for cheap books, but if you’re not a big novel reader, try just looking up the lyrics of songs you’ve tried to but absolutely cannot decipher. Listen to them while you read.

Make a list about the things you like about yourself. Yeah, it’s corny and annoying, but it’s easy to fall to self-hatred and self-deprication when you already hate living in general. You don’t have to write anything profound; start with the little things you maybe don’t hate. “I like how healthy my nails are,” “I like my taste in makeup,” “I like my arm hair”--write the little things down and keep your list somewhere you can turn to when you’re feeling especially disgusted with yourself. You can even pretend someone else is saying those things so you can’t immediately negate them.

Finally, sometimes the best option for our mental health is knowing when to get professional help. Allowing yourself outside help can be really, really hard, but after everything you’ve been through, you deserve a little mental health treat. Colleges often have free counseling for students, and if you have insurance, look into what they cover regarding mental illness. If neither of those are an option for you, find someone you can trust who will listen--a friend, guardian, teacher, family member, or even someone running one of those positivity blogs. Unless they’re a professional, always be sure to ask before you vent, because you could easily trigger someone else. If it’s getting bad, there are always people ready to listen.

Ultimately, what’s most important is that you are there for yourself. Depression is a tricky bitch, and it can often turn us against ourselves--giving yourself a break from judgement and pain can save you from something worse. When you’re too depressed to move, let alone do anything on this list, save the energy you have for the basics and set one of these aside for a time you can manage it. And when you have the energy, prepare for the next depressive swing by keeping your phone charged or getting a glass of water before you collapse in your bed. They seem small, but these little things are acts of love for yourself, and yes, you do deserve it.

[yourmoansareasymphony]

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? I like to eat ice cream with a spoon. If I can choose between a cup and a cone I always pick a cup.

2. What is home to you? Might sound like a cliché but is true. Pixie.

3. What was the last lie you told? I lie to my cat often. Tell him I’m going to take him out or give him shrimps later but forget. He probably doesn’t trust me at all.

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Of course not.

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? Baby dolls.

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. I borderline odeed on xans like a weasel.

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn’t mix them up.) Loving and hating.

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? PhD.

9. How organized are you? Very. Organised and prepared.

10. If humans didn’t evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? I don’t know.

11. How many romantic “things” or “flings” have you had? Just this one.

12. What is your favourite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Heavy rain.

13. How many hearts do you think you have broken? A few, I’m afraid, but not intentionally. Some people just take sex as a promise of something more and perhaps those have been the moments when people have been disappointed.

14. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Interrupt me when I speak.

15. Do you overexaggerate? The word “over” is unnecessary here? Yes, I do, sometimes when I’m angry. Or sometimes for comedy value.

16. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? I can play the piano. I’ve taken cello and guitar lessons. I have an ukulele but I’m not allowed to play because it’s annoying, apparently.

17. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. Because of my face.

18. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? I think I’d have everything concrete that it takes: time, money, maybe intellect. But what I don’t have is unconditional love. I can’t love a person just because they’re family. I might easily hate my child if he or she was an idiot or grew up to be a UKIP voter. I want to choose the people in my life.

19. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? I play with my cat.

20. When was the last time you felt awkward? Gary slept with us in our bed last night. I was in the middle and they were both more or less leaning on me and they both smelled like old booze.

21. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introvert.

22. What constitutes a good friend? I was just asked what I love about my best friend.

23. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? I like having a best friend. Quality over quantity.

24. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? “Bark bark bark the liberal elite moo moo moo unelected bureaucrats.”

25. What is your dream job? Prime Minister.

26. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? My followers don’t seem to believe that I don’t masturbate. I think the last time I did was in 2012 or 2013. It is true, you wankers!

27. What have you always wondered about the other gender? Why they don’t murder more.

28. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? The post-apocalyptic world of the film The Road, to see how long I’d survive.

29. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don’t know. You can’t switch back. What do you do? Go on with my life. Celebrate. I’d probably look a lot better.

30. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? I most definitely wouldn’t sell it. I would keep it and hide it and give myself at least a decade to think about what to do with it.

31. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Maths.

32. Name the last book you read. I’m reading All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.

33. When was the last time you made the first move? 9,5 years ago.

34. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? I don’t listen to it. No opinion.

35. What was the last movie you watched? Star Wars: The Force Awakens

36. Do you like and appreciate your life? Yes.

37. Do you like and appreciate yourself? Appreciate, yes. Like, not always.

38. When was the last time you cried? Christmas.

39. What are you scared of? Babies. Well, not scared of but they creep me out.

40. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? I’m still mortified about the wedding.

41. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? Our London house is a “smart” house, this is a very stupid one. I close the bathroom door and stand in the dark for a few seconds until I remember that there’s no motion sensor and that I have to switch the lights on myself. Sometimes I forget to switch them off.

42. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? Loyal but clingy.

43. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly, I’m not sure.

44. What have you learned the hard way? Pixie doesn’t want her nipples touched.

45. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Statistically, money. And I agree with the statistics.

46. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) Dance.

47. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both, I’d like to think. Why do people always assume that these are mutually exclusive? I think these are often found in the same person.

48. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? Left home the way I did.

49. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? Pay the bill without asking? Murder?

50. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favourite? Kitty.

51. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Voting, if you’re stupid. There should be two pages on the ballot. First page: 1 x 1, which party/parties form the government at the moment, what is the EU? All 3 answers must be correct and if they’re not they will discard your ballot without counting it.

52. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Pimple popping videos.

53. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Human connections for introverts.

54. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? Not a morning person at all. I’m physically unable to smile before noon.

55. Do you have a favourite Disney movie? Character? Dumbo. Got stuff done without talking.

56. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City.

57. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains.

58. What are the best things about winter? Heh, I just talked about this with someone. I like it when my nose hair freeze when I inhale. It’s satisfying.

59. What scares you most about the future? Nothing really scares me. Stupidity depresses me.

60. What makes you feel old? My Tumblr followers.

61. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? 2-3 hours?

62. What bad habits do you do? I clean my ears with cotton buds.

63. Most prominent childhood memory? Oh boy, maybe not.

64. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don’t, how would this change your life? I have two older brothers. One’s a twin, the other one I haven’t seen since I was 18 and do not care to. Having a brother is nice, because he’s nice.

65. Do you believe in horoscopes? Of course not.

66. What is the worst advice you’ve ever been given? I rarely take advice but all these “everything happens for a reason” blaa-di-blaas are really irritating. (I don’t think they mean determinism.)

67. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. Pixie, Gary, Aaron.

68. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No, because nobody’s perfect.

69. What is your opinion on social media? I’m not on Facebook or Twitter. It’s aggravating how everyone has the chance and the right to post whatever they wish, true or not, and there’s a constant terrifying false balance in these conversations. On the other hand, it’s a great tool to detect which one of your friends or acquaintances is actually a moron and therefore you can avoid them in future.

70. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Still, realist.

71. List some things that you think are overpriced? Pink hygiene products.

72. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? Amba’s death and what lead to it.

73. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? I don’t put so much sugar in my tea.

74. What languages can you speak? BSL, English, Finnish.

75. Favourite food? Raw beef.

76. What is the most terrifying dream you’ve ever had? I had raped Pixie, didn’t remember doing it and couldn’t understand why. I was trying to find a building high enough but every time I got on the roof the building had shrunk.

77. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Christmas.

78. What was the last friendship you broke? I haven’t broken any. Some of them just dry out.

79. Do you have any pet peeves? Yeah, don’t interrupt me when I’m talking.

80. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Gary, when he left earlier today.

81. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last September.

82. What did you want to be when you were little? Dancer.

83. What are some things that you are good at? I’m getting good at knitting socks.

84. What is one thing you want to be good at? I’d like to be a better driver. I’m not bad but the reality is that I’ve driven all my adult life in central London and it doesn’t take much skill. Just don’t kill cyclists or pedestrians. I look up to Pixie (and she looks down on me). We were in her home town one Christmas and she was driving. We were looking for a parking space and saw one on the other side of the street. I thought we’d go around the block and then parallel park like normal people but no, what followed was a handbrake U-turn on ice and a neat drift right into the spot. Her spatial orientation is excellent in general. She knows instantly whether a piece of clothing will fit, whether a large object will fit in the car. We haven’t competed but I think she’d beat me in Tetris and I’m really good. And I know I’m a good driver as well but her mad skills just make me feel inadequate. She gets frustrated if I need to adjust when I’m parking.

85. What distracts you the most, especially when you’re trying to work? My own thoughts. My mind wanders so easily.

86. How important is privacy to you? Essential.

87. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? I’d like to end the greeting fascism. We all have to say hi to people we haven’t really been in contact with in years. People from school, your previous neighbours, current neighbours, your best friend’s aunt, the cousin of your childhood geography teacher, fucking everyone. One of the greatest things about moving here is that I don’t know many people. In London walking to work was always hi, hi, hello, hello, morning, yes, it’s you again, hello.

88. What’s the craziest lie you’ve ever told? I’ve lied to children. I told the Greek kid that my iPad doesn’t show cartoons because it’s an adult iPad and made her watch Brian Cox and she believed me. I told a kid once that I can forge bank notes by drawing them. That my wife is a witch. That there are pirates buried under our house. All sorts of crazy things. Children are idiots!

89. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I don’t tell stories about myself.

90. What is the stupidest thing you’ve done to impress someone? Acrobatics. It starts with me and Pixie, me saying “hey, watch this!” and then I break a bone.

91. What is your morning routine? Pee, brush teeth, feed the cat.

92. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help.

93. What is your opinion on playing “hard to get?” If you think it’s attractive, fine. But it might not get you the result you want.

94. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Getting things said and done efficiently. People getting upset.

95. Are you the friend-zoner or the friend-zoned? Such thing does not exist. There are just dicks who think that being nice should be awarded with sex.

96. What is your opinion on “going with the flow?” Don’t. 

97. Do you enjoy talking or listening? When the topic is interesting I enjoy both.

98. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Yesterday, with Gary.

99. Do you have any self-restraint? Lots.

100. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? I would advise myself to take care of myself because by not doing so I’ve caused a lot of sorrow.

I’m going to try and drop this bomb on @my-wanton-self, @theklicker, @nirhauma​, @cherrytintedmusings, @agythi, @nakedbutterfly​ and @cherrypies​.

#for my2ndego #i had to use the garden scissors #words #answers