#camhs inpatient

[branston-beans]

tw hospital

fml, I've been in hospital for like 8 hours now!

all because they want to "assess me" before they let me go- if they mean mha then they can respectfully fuck right off cuz I've only just got off my section after a year and I am not going back on it thank you very much.

hopefully I'll be out soon once they realise I'm already in a mh unit and under a mh team (so all of this was pointless)

use this as a sign not to sh guys, it just lands you in shit

#cvtt!ng #tw sh destructive behaviour #made of styro #styroblr #shblur #beansblr #hitting styro #sh mention #cvtblr #i wanna cvt #actually mentally ill #inpatient #camhs

[willows-woes]

another sad but pretty song. still haven’t figured out ur music taste so this is just something i’ve listened recently. hope it’s alright.

do you collect anything?

damn. that song.. i can't describe it. but it feels like it matched my mood in a way. nice song.

no, i don't. not really. but during my inpatient assessment i found a bunch of horse chestnuts that i brought home. and on the last day before i was made to stay out of school by camhs (aka. the day i was brought to a&e in the ambulance) i found some acorns. i have a dish in my room with those chestnuts and those acorns just sitting there.

#asks #answered #beloved mutual

[hesitationss]

mental health institution tw & CSA mention/// i have so little faith in the psychiatric and other mental health care in my province and in canada in general.

i've been turned off from it since middle school when one of my friends would talk about her abusive care giver being the head of psychiatry for a major institution and also handling the treatment for her sisters suicidal BF and constantly he was told that he should kill himself. like i have gone to camh a couple times when i was living in ONT and for the most part it was relatively normal, and my acquaintance who was a frequent inpatient also had relatively normal experiences too (altho idk how we're defining "normal" since i'm talking about mental health...). and also my friend in HS had 2 therapist parents and he was both really boring and insane and ended up ODing out of province and then moving back here because of how restrictive his upbringing was... plus like every institution that works w children being notorious for have a "dark CSA history" like our whole societies need complete upheaval before we can even begin to address these issues in canadian mental health care. also when i was very little and used to have my old neighbor occasionally take me to the doctor and stuff and my former physical health practitioner was downtown... they just let me suffer like all the time in a way that doesn't happen to white people or stable parent households ☠️ i only really got decent care after 20 but even then... it's only if i do all the research first...

[sadskxnnyboo]

i havent posted on here since i was 14(?)

now im 17 - i didnt get better , id love to tell a story of someone who wasnt active as she recovered - but that isnt me. since i was last active on here ive been discharged from camhs only to re enter the system 4 months later, and the past year and a half my life since then has revolved around hospital, i started smoking , moved schools countless times and had three psychward stays ,and had countless diagnosises added and removed

but im alive

my an0rexia almost killed me - mentally , during my second psychward stay , after reaching the point of being unable to function i was transferred to general hospital, with no autonomy to make my own decisions as my rights had already been taken away , that was a new low at that point

but i worked my ass off , not to recover but to earn back trust and respect , and fast forward after a summer of being in the psych ward and still being ill , here i am : trusted with my own medication , having passed all my gcses despite sitting them inpatient , doing alevels and ultimately living

im still sick and my goal of not going into adult services is now longer attainable due to the level of therapy that i need , ive been out of hospital for three days which is the longest in a while

it wont get better but itll get easier

#camhs #camhskiddo

[depressedbunnyrabbit]

Hospital socks and blankets are just an aesthetic at this point

#depression #camhs inpatient #psych inpatient #tw suicude #suicidal #sue #tw cutting #tw cuttinge #tw self injury #deb #depress #depressed #inpatient #psychiactric inpatient

[teenyears100]

My journey in CAMHS

So my journey in CAMHS is coming to an end! I'm not sure how to feel about this, I am slightly anxious but excited at the same time. I've been through a lot these past few years and without CAMHS I do not think I would still be here today writing this post. I've had 2 psychiatric hospital admissions, numerous A&E trips, medication galore and meetings alllll the time 😂 I was skeptical of therapy but it seemed to have had a impact! I will soon be moving to Adult Services (not sure when, but CAMHS aren't discharging me until we've all had a meeting together) and I am kind of anxious, but I got to keep remembering that I was anxious with CAMHS when I first went. I cannot believe how far I have come and I am so thankful for everything my mental health team do! 😊

#mentallyill #mentalhealth #actuallydepressed #actuallyptsd #actuallyanxious #camhs inpatient #camhs #help #selfharm #self care #positive #yayme #it gets better

[notdesignedforthis]

is dont call me crazy your comfort series or are you normal?

#dont call me crazy #netflix #bbc #bbc three #mental health #mental health show #mental health documentary #camhs #tw camhs #inpatient #mental hospital #tw self h@rm #comfort show #comfort series #anorexia show #ed show #docuseries #mental health crisis #tw rant

[scarsandsuicide]

How to be a good support worker in an inpatient unit?

Also accepting what makes a bad support worker

Send help pls

#inpatient #support #worker #psych #ward #psych ward #camhs #working at camhs #unit #mental health #self harm #suicide

[i-swear-im-not-crazy-well-maybe]

When I found out I could see things others couldn't.

I was in year 9 in high school. I was getting severely bullied and I was severely depressed. I didn't know I was depressed. I knew nothing about mental illness or depression. I was getting in fights with bullies and abusing teachers physically and verbally. I was getting suspended weekly until the school had enough and kicked me out. I went to a new school and was getting bullied so bad I stopped going. I was home for months until my previous school agreed to have me back on a strict behaviour contract I had to follow for the rest of the year. I got through the year just. The next year, year 10 and 15 years old. I was off the behaviour contract and I started the behaviours that got me kicked out again. I was having suicidal thoughts and I didn't know why. One day I was in the school gym when I saw a white scruffy dog running around. The dog came up to me and I started patting it. My classmates just looked at me and said "what are you doing"? And I said "patting this dog" and they said "what dog"? And they walked away laughing. It was then I realised I could see things others couldn't. Then came a man in black with a gun and a blacked out face named Alvin. He would follow me everywhere, still to this day he sits on my bed and I can feel him there. He scares me and I can't sleep. One day at school in sport class, I wasn't allowed to participate because of past behaviour. I was sitting on the oval with classmates when I got up and said I'm going to jump off the school roof and kill myself. I got up and walked off the oval and climbed the stairs and got onto the roof. One of my classmates followed me and tried to talk me down and got the co-ordinator to ring the deputy principal. The deputy principal came and tried talking me down and soon left to go get the school psych. The time the school psych came I already got down and she said she had to follow me everywhere because of what just happened. I went to the gym to get my back pack and was taken to the school psychs office where I sat crying for a bit. Then was taken to the deputy principals office where they called my parents and was told to take me to hospital. That afternoon my parents took me to the children's hospital where I was assessed by the psych team and was told I had to be admitted but there was no bed on the psych ward so I was sent home and they said they'll ring when there's a bed. We went home and I remember crying my eyes out. 2 days later the hospital rang and said to come in as they had a bed. It was school holidays time. I went to the ward at the children's hospital and was shown around. I didn't want to stay. I never even heard of psych wards and knew nothing about mental health and was scared. I was begging my parents not to leave me but they had too. They left and I started crying my eyes out. The nurses were lovely and there was only a few other patients on the ward at the time and I was the only girl. I soon was making friends with the patients. Because it was school holidays we didn't have to go to the hospital school and got to do activities instead. We went to the movies, bowling, the museum and more. I was there for nearly 2 weeks. My psychiatrist at CAMHS (child adolescent mental health services) put me on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. I became allergic to many of the anti-psychotics. The only one I could tolerate was quetiapine (seroquel) I was seeing a social worker there and had CBT. When I got back to school after hospital. There was a meeting and it was agreed I'd have an education support teacher with me everywhere to keep me safe. Every class, recess and lunch they were with me by my side. My illness became worse and I couldn't cope with full days at school so I only went half days. Then it came to I couldn't go in classes so I was placed in a small dark room to do my school work alone with my ed support teacher. I started self harming and bringing razors to school and getting in trouble with the school psych. I had to see the school psych every morning before class. I was hospitalized 3 more times at the children's hospital. And I only got to the end of year 11 where the decision was made that I would not be going on to year 12 as I was hardly at school and my mental health was too severe. They couldn't control my saftey. I would chase the man in black out the school gates and jump in front of traffic. Once the school psych had to restrain me in a basket hold to protect me. I had no friends, I was seeing things and started hearing voices. When I wasn't at school I was at home in bed sleeping my depression away. I enjoyed nothing and I was going downhill fast. At age 18 I was transferred to the adult mental health services where I currently am still now.

#Psych ward #hallucinations #inpatient #school #voices #restrained #restraint #self harm #suicide #suicidal #suspended #hospital #psychiatrist #medication #depressed #depression #mental illness #help #CAMHS #schizophrenia #schizophrenic #Autism #autistic #aspergers

[ggoodnightsocialite]

never alone

opened my sore eyes. looked at the window, it was light, they let me sleep in. took me seven minutes to realise i wasn’t where i thought i was, at least it felt like seven minutes, i don't have a watch, or a clock, or a phone. the curtains are different here, a different shade of brown. i was cold, no sheets or pillowcases, no hoodies or dressing gowns. everything was bare, the walls, the floors, the furniture, and most of all my mind, i felt completely blank, empty.

after a while, i felt like getting up. my bare skin peeled off the plastic bed and my head throbbed and every limb begged me to stop, pushing me back, but i persisted. as i turned away from the wall it became apparent that i hadn't woken up alone, there was someone in the corner. 

good morning emily

the voice was familiar and warm. male. clearly aware of my discomfort and confusion.

want a cup of tea?

despite his words being kind and reassuring, i couldn't bring myself to respond. instead i picked up my heavy corpse and walked towards the bathroom without a sound.

one second, i need to get someone else

i told him that i just wanted to brush my teeth, he nodded in agreement and followed me. the bathroom was large and bare, like the room i just left. i looked in the mirror and i was presented with myself, but not how i remembered. bruises. bruises on my head, neck and arms. blood. blood on my head, neck and arms.  and no memory of the cause. i felt pathetic.

time passed and i left the bathroom, my teeth were clean but my head was messy. ten thousand voices screamed inside my brain, they were desperate to feel something, they wanted everything to end. and when i walked through the heavy, reinforced door, the day began, and everything became one from that point. they never left me alone, not even for a second, not to go to the toilet or for a phone call.

one thing i know is, every hour, on the hour, the person changed, the attitudes towards my condition changed, the questions restarted. the ignorance, the fake pity, the ‘oh i never expected this from you’. restarted, and the cycle repeats, and apparently it will until i learn where i went wrong.

#actualpsychward #psychward #actuallymentallyill #mentalhealthtw #relapse #camhs #inpatient #treatment #tw #selfharmtw #selfharm #suicidetw #levelone #observation #stories from the psych ward

[zoloftangell]

someoneeee comment pros n cons of inpatient treatment camhs or in general bc a rly need it as am tryna make the decision whether 2 go to a&e n b honest abt how a rly am

#stuff #inpatient #camhs #mental health

[anothersadb-tch]

TW/sh,ed.

So its a been a lil while. In the time i havent been here i have, attempted once, got put in hospital for it, got made to stay there for 4 days. the hospital, my parents and school now know im not doing great. my parents now know i have disordered eating habits and that i purge. i got put onto the camhs system. they threatened me with inpatient. i have been out of the hospital for over a month now. i am slowly going back to school. im still lying to everyone. everyone thinks i have been sh free ever since i got out of the hospital when i have literally not stopped. my parents took my blades but i hid one so i use that. my teachers know im suicidal. i had been almost 4 weeks free of suicidal thoughts but they came back yesterday. my friends know nothing about any of this, they think i was in hospital because i had a bad liver, which isnt completely wrong but they dont know its cause i tried to kill myself. none of my friends know that i sh, purge, restrict, am suicidal. so long story short, im still doing really shit.

#sewerslide #sh #ed #bullimic #purging

[newsfromstolenland]

I'm a CAMH patient in Toronto and I think that people are not necessarily aware of current problems within CAMH

first of all, they have a strongly anti-medical cannabis stance, to a dangerous extent.

I knew someone who was admitted to their inpatient unit, and was promptly denied access to their medically prescribed weed.

this is especially interesting because of their freedom in prescribing more addictive, dangerous drugs (especially since they recieve funding from the pharma companies that produce them)

there is also a lot of stigma around addiction in their programs and facilities, like care professionals who will berate you and tell you that you "should just stop" should you open up about an experience with addiction

given that CAMH is where Toronto cops bring high and/or mentally ill arrests, it is a serious problem that they don't handle addiction well

the point is, CAMH is not the reformed, progressive, mental health care center that they pretend to be, and they should be held accountable for how they are failing their patients

@onpoli @ontarionewsnow @torontopoli @allthecanadianpolitics

#mine #ontario #toronto #mental health #addiction #addiction tw #mental healthcare #CAMH #canada #canadian poli #canadian politics #canadian

[psychosispsositivity]

Being a black schizophrenic in the UK

Tw: suicide, mental health

I'm not going to sugar coat it. Getting a diagnosis for any illness rarer than anxiety is a struggle. Doing that while being black and also gay, in a country like England (where psychotic people can perish as far as the system is concerned) is like being a circus lion. You're treated like an animal and you have to jump through a bunch of stupid hoops.

I've been living with hallucinations since about the age of 8. Since I was 14 I had been trying to get a referral to CAMHS, the organization handling mental health for children. I went to my family doctor many times and each time I had been told that I was making things up. I was also told that due to my academic success and whatnot, I couldn't possibly be sick. I was often told that the culprit was period-related mood swings and a wild imagination. This went on for 3 years until I requested to see a different doctor. At this point, hallucinations, disorganized thinking and delusions weren't my only problem. I had developed OCD as a result of my lack of treatment for my delusions and my uptight immigrant family finally started to believe me. My doctor however did not.

I arrived at her office and explained my problems. She said that I was making my symptoms up for attention and that nothing was wrong. I had just dropped out of school because I couldn't cope. I had 4 different people living in my head and I couldn't so much as sit next to someone on the bus without having to scrub myself clean afterwards. Something was wrong.

I made a complaint to the NHS about my doctor and finally got a referral at the age of 17. I was immediately diagnosed with OCD without even needing a therapy session. They didn't believe my schizophrenia.

"how could you hide it for so long?" they would ask and I would say "it's not exactly hard. It just hurts"

Nevertheless they didn't care and refused therapy to me. They wrote in my file that my female "characters" (what they called my hallucinations) were a metaphor for my internal homosexual conflict and that my desire to be thin was related to my race. I was disgusted.

I tried to kill myself. While in the emergency ward, the chance of inpatient treatment was offered to me. I took it in a heartbeat.

After a little wait I was taken to a low security inpatient facility where I would be monitored 24 hours a day. I remember the ward was full of young girls with either eating disorders or Psychosis. They all seemed very surprised to see me. I overheard them talking about me in the patient lounge. One said "she's so beautiful. I forgot black people have issues too." which I thought was pretty hilarious.

It was because of this inpatient treatment that I finally got diagnosed. Nurses would observe me subtly responding to my hallucinations, becoming distressed at the sound of music because it triggered the voices, being woken up in the night because there was a big black wolf in my room. For the first time my problems were taken seriously. I was taken for brain scans and MRIs to make sure that my problems weren't physical. Finally I was diagnosed with early onset schizophrenia. They gave me antipsychotics and I made lots of friends and we all helped eachother with our problems.

To be honest, CAMHS inpatient saved my life. I don't think anyone would have believed me unless they had observed my issues themselves.

I feel like when you're black and in the system nobody really expects you to be sick. Maybe it's due to a lack of representation but it's a fact of life that if you have any mental illness and you don't look like Effy from skins then you aren't getting any sympathy. It's like they expect us to be liars and attention seeking. And once we are recognized, our problems are always identified as a byproduct of the black experience. It's kind of gross.

My advice if you're struggling to get treatment is to be the biggest pain in the ass possible. If they treat you like crap, complain about them. If they say you're attention seeking, call the board. If they say you don't have any symptoms show those people a symptom diary and complain again. Give them hell and make them pay for denying you treatment. I wasted years of my life untreated and now I have to deal with the delay it's put on my life. Don't take shit from any doctor.

Thank you for your submission.

#pseriouslypsychosis #psychosis #pseriouslyschizospectrum #actuallypsychotic #pseriouslyschizophrenia #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #pseriouslyschizophrenic #actuallyschizophrenia #actuallyschizophrenic #suicide tw #submission

[wistful-dreaming]

How long have you had an eating disorder?

I've never not had disordered eating, I was diagnosed at 10 with ednos then 12 with arfid which soon changed to an/r one inpatient stay at 14 then an/r got changed back to ednos at 16/17, I haven't been in mental health services since having to be discharged from camhs at 18; I don't know if there's a bulimia binge/restrict sub type but I imagine that's what I'd be given now.. although my weight rarely breaches bmi 16.4 so I'm not sure

#tw ed stuff #tw ed mention #tw ed things #tw numbers #tw bmi #cw ed #cw ed mention #cw numbers #cw bmi #cw ed things #asks

[heart-of-a-wildflower]

A very long day (rant)

Today has been bloody exhausting. I got ready for my CPA and went in feeling nervous but positive and I thought it went well; I asked for my first overnight leave this weekend and they said yes as well as giving me a discharge date of 11th July!!!!!!! I came out feeling pretty good and told the patient I get on really well with who knows me a lot (’L’) but she was shocked, she said I’m not ready and couldn’t believe they’re going to discharge me. I wasn’t sure how to react to this  and then I had a therapy session...

Oh dear. I spoke for a bit about the CPA going well then we went through some of my DBT skills/diary from the last week and then she said something which hit me, hard, and I burst into tears. You know those nasty tears that seem to be never ending and hot and flowing from your eyes? Yep they did not fricking  stop, taking my mascara with them 😭

She mentioned something I had written about the edu consultant asking me if I would move to an eating disorder unit and she asked me why I said no. I’m not sure why this set me off but after that I spent an hour and a half with her just being honest and sobbing, I took the mask of ‘‘I’m ok’ off and just let her see how I felt and everything that had been building. It was almost scary to realise how much I had been holding back and to hear how much she thought I am being controlled at the moment by the eating disorder. This was so weird to hear, she said ‘the anorexia’ and that was so F-ing hard to hear it started another wave of tears because as much as I know rationally that I have an eating disorder, I still can’t fully believe or acknowledge it. I keep thinking “I’m not anorexic I can’t be I know I’m not” and being told I’m ill feels like a lie.

We ended the session with me feeling a bit calmer and her planning on talking to the consultant. I’m so scared and confused at the moment, I feel like my head and my friends and the doctors and professionals are all saying conflicting things and it’s incredibly difficult to know what’s right. 

I wish mental illness was like physical illness -a testable diagnosis, a structured treatment and a moment when you know it’s gone. 

#inpatientrecovery #inpatient #recovery #recovering #anorexia #ed recovery #cpa #dischsrge #camhs inpatient #eating disorder #eating disorder recovery #anorexic #anorexia recovery #therapy #lacey