#coffee king tweek

[jewbeloved]

Tweek: Welcome-GAH! to Tweak Bros. coffee... How may I-ACK! help you?

Reader: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tweek and the others: ......

Reader: A burger.

*Craig, Token, Clyde Laughing hysterically*

Tweek: Wha-???

Tweek: We don't sell burgers here!

Reader: Then why is there a burger king near this coffee shop then?

*Tweek looking at the burger king while his jaw dropped to the floor*

Reader: Now gimme my coffee burger.

*Craig, Token, Clyde continuing to die from laughter*

Tweek:

#south park x reader #tweek tweak x reader #craig tucker x reader #token black x reader #clyde donovan x reader #clyde donovan #token black #craig tucker #tweek tweak #south park incorrect quotes #incorrect south park quotes #incorrect quotes #south park #southpark blog #southpark sp #sp x reader #x reader #southpark x y/n

[sorrinslays]

My Craig's gang headcanons

Craig is a mama's boy, sorry, I don't make the rules

Clyde definitely has broken at least onε 3DS in the dumbest way possible, like crying and the tears messing up with the machine or by bragging that his 3DS is indestructible, ending with Cartman sitting on it and crushing it in the process

Tolkien's favourite movie is lion king, don't ask, I have no idea why I thought of that

Jimmy reads those "how to be professionally funny" books religiously

Tweek tried a monster once and nearly had a heart attack from stress because he mentally convinced himself it's stronger than the coffee he normally drinks and his body is going to explode from all the caffeine intake

Craig and Clyde have secret hang outs that they (Clyde) named "best bros date" where they talk about their favourite things (space, dinosaurs, race cars etc.) and watch their favourite cartoons

Tolkien for Jimmy's birthday bought him a microphone so that Jimmy can have improv comedy sessions whenever and wherever he pleases

Tweek had to go throught 'trials' to join Craig's gang. Nothing serious, just normal fourth grader stuff, like having him climb the monkey bars in under fifteen seconds or something like that. Needless to say, the poor boy almost had a panic attack and jugged a whole ass pot of coffee and climbed the bars in one millisecond

Craig and Tolkien go to the bookstore once a month and get a book. It's their way of motivating one another to read more

Clyde and Jimmy once (in their late teens) got super wasted and made a youtube video where they told really bad jokes. It blew up and they woke up to a bunch of analyses video talking about how they are the next big step in making comedy better. They remember nothing and only learned what happened through Craig who found it very entertaining

Tweek accidently ate a small rock once and was freaked out for a week straight thinking he's going to die. The fourth grade ended up playing 'funeral' with everyone having different roles. Tweek was the dead guy

Whenever Craig and Jimmy are left alone unsupervised they go to Craig's basement and make videos in which they just talk for hours about the people they hate and they managed to gather a small cult following by just hating on people

Tolkien and Clyde once crashed a car

Tweek wanted to continue boxing after his and Craig's fight but was scared and nervous to enter a club alone. At some point once he becomes part of Craig's gang, he tells that to the guys and, in order to encourage him to join, all of them (-Jimmy because he's in the comedy club) join. Craig and Tolkien go for kickboxing and Clyde and Tweek go boxing

Craig is the kind of person who knows a lot of random stuff and skills that he never mentions unless it's brought up. He's like that one guy on Tik Tok who knows the bird language, the OwO language, the cat language ect. His friends never know and anytime he's like "oh yeah, I know how to speak Latin, don't worry I can talk to this demon to leave us alone," the guys are like "HUH"

Clyde has the entire Dinosaur wiki memorized

When Tolkien first joined the group he spend days researching everything he could find about the others' interests out of fear he won't be able to participate in conversations or something. After a few one on one conversations Clyde and Jimmy figured it out pretty early own because it was pretty obvious, but Craig never did and still thinks Tolkien is genuinely interested in space and Tolkien doesn't want to break the illusion so he keeps researching and talking about stars and planets and everything else for hours with Craig

Jimmy knows Portuguese, I don't know why or how but it seems like something he would do

Tweek and Clyde weren't on the best terms at first because Clyde was kinda spooked of Tweek's tics since he didn't understand them, but overtime he learned that Tweek is a pretty cool dude

Craig loves to cook and clean, it's relaxing to him because he can just go through the notions and end up being productive. His friends have tasted his cooking multiple times and love it.

The whole gang has at some point worked in both Tweak.Bros and mr Donavan's shoe store

Tolkien's place is where they usually have their sleepovers. If for whatever reason they can't go to Tolkien's, then it's Craig's basement cause his parents are pretty chill and nice. They almost never go to Tweek's because his parents freak out the gang

Jimmy once wrote his final exam high on mushrooms and got a perfect score

Tweek never got a driving license because he's too scared of cars

#south park #sp craig tucker #sp jimmy #sp clyde #sp tolkien #sp tweek #craig's gang #craig tucker #clyde donovan #tolkien black #jimmy valmer #tweek tweak #headcanon

[corporatefrog]

╰┈➤ Welcome Back to the Channel part 18; coffee with chaos

✧.* featuring yn hanging out with Butters and having an important conversation : ̗̀➛ notes - here's the end of the "yn finds out" arc! we're ending it where it began with Butters because he deserves the world lmao tags - college au, superhero au, smau

series masterlist previous | next

Sitting at the table was unbearably awkward.

Butters swirled his hot chocolate in its cup, hand jolting slightly when a drop flew from the top and landed on the table. He muttered a quiet apology before grabbing a napkin and cleaning the spill. Then he went back to sitting across the table from me, looking everywhere but at me. 

We both knew what this was about. When I texted Butters, asking to meet at Tweek Bros coffee, it had been after a week long silence in our communication. Our last conversation being the infamous Frozen on Ice incident. I'm not sure how much he's heard from the others, but if Butters didn't notice my tense demeanor, he would've already jumped into a story about his latest family in the Sims.

The questions wasn't whether or not something was wrong, it's who would say it first.

No way. I'm not playing around with this "ooo who's going to say it" bullshit.

I broke the silence.

“I know you’re Professor Chaos.” I pushed the words out before they could retreat into my throat. My thumb traced the lid of my drink as I waited for his response, running along the plastic grooves to focus my nerves on something other than the conversation at hand.

Whatever came next would change our friendship forever. I just had to be okay with that. To me, this truth was more important than a fake friendship where we both walk on eggshells around each other, both too scared to address the ever present elephant in the room. If a truth meant losing Butters, I wouldn't want to know the outcome of a lie-

“Oh thank goodness!” 

From across the table, I heard a shaky laugh.

I looked up to see Butters slouched in his seat, shoulders lowered from their previous tense position and hands no longer clutching his cup. A smile pulled at his lips, pinching his cheeks and crinkling the corners of his eyes with an expression of pure relief. 

I raised an eyebrow, not ready to let down my tense defense just yet, “You’re not shocked or surprised at all?”

Butters laughed at my question, the joyful sound kicking my own anxieties out of my system. Who would laugh that carelessly if they were worried? 

“Well of course I’m surprised!” He started, slamming his hands on the table with the grin still on his face, “Someone figured out my secret identity! I never in a million years thought that would happen!” 

Butters paused, toning down the explosive joy to a small smile and bouncing leg as his eyes jumped around the room, “But out of anyone who could’ve found out," His gaze returned to mine, "I’m glad it’s you. Now I don’t have to lie to you anymore!” 

A smile of my own crept onto my face, slowly growing until it matched Butter's grin. Weight tumbled from my shoulders as I straightened in my seat, worry no longer pushing me down. Everything's okay.

We're okay.

"Yeah about the lies, you really need to work on your alibis. That Frozen on Ice stunt was what clued me in.” I said, pointing a joking finger at him.

Butter's slapped his hand across the table, “Darn it. I knew I should’ve said we were seeing the Lion King.”

We shared a laugh about Butters’ bad lie, about the ridiculousness of the whole situation, about the fact that we were sitting dead silence, too scared to speak to one another five minutes ago. The world took on a brighter light as our laughed died down, leaving us both with smiles on our faces. 

“Yeah…” I said, not sure what I wanted to say when I started, just wanting to say something. “I’m just glad this is all over though. I was driving myself insane thinking I was some terrible person for thinking you were a good guy.”

“Oh, you mean because of those meanies on twitter spouting off all that bullcrap about dick riding?” Butters asked. 

Why is this the first time I’m hearing him say dick riding. I didn’t even know he knew what that was.

He’s a 20 year old who knows Eric Cartman. He knows what dick riding is. 

I jumped back onto the conversation, my surprise keeping me from responding, “Oh-uh- yeah. I don’t usually get swept up in online negativity, I think it just hit a bit harder because it was about me talking to you. And anyone who doesn’t see that you’re the coolest person ever is obviously the stupid one.” 

“You think I'm cool?” Butters’ said softly, eyes searching my expression for a hidden double meaning or snide remark to follow. 

We tell him we know his secret identity and THIS is what surprises him?

I reached across the table and grabbed his hands, “Butters you’re a SUPER VILLAIN. That automatically makes you the coolest person ever. I told you I think Chaos is absolutely an icon and I stand by that statement.” 

It was as though the rest of the cafe disappeared as sparkles shone in Butters eyes. 

“Well, I think you’re the coolest person ever too.” He said, hands returning the grip on mine. 

“Well duh!” I exclaimed, releasing his hands and I leaned back in my chair in the coolest sitting pose I could muster, “When you’re the two coolest kids in south park, you’ve got a lot of work to do to keep your rep clean.”

Butters nodded and copied my pose, staring off into the distance over the rim of his coffee cup as he took a totally cool sip of his hot chocolate.

“Yeah. Super cool.” He said, eyes observing the boring people who walked by our table of coolness with a steely gaze. I can see how he managed to keep up the chaos persona so easily. Butters really was the master of keeping a bit going. 

“You don’t need to worry about those jerks online anymore.” Butters began, waiting for our eyes to meet before continuing, “General Disarray found their valorant profiles and set up a bot to follow them into any game they start and target them the whole match. Their online lives are ruined.” He finished with a grin and I could see the shadow of Professor Chaos' electric gaze through his eyes.

Maybe they’re not so different after all. 

taglist [reply to be added]: @sula0kin @lacuna-at-dawn @anglettecolours @cocolena@sukisprettyface @feverish-dove @sweetadonisbutbetter @hand-writxen@mishstuff@sophtophie @triphovia  @lacunaanonymoused @inkedintothepaper @toodeepintofandoms@mmmaackerel @sillybilly-123@n0tangeliccc@sophtophie@inkedintothepaper 

#this is my story so I decide that everything ends up happy #i just like conversations that go well and make me feel good so that's what you get TAKE THE GOOD OUTCOMES YOU FIENDS #i also can't imagine a world where butters isn't my best friend #so you get that world too #welcome back to the channel #south park smau #south park x reader #south park #corporatefrog #tfbw #sp tfbw #the fractured but whole

[princessconsuela120]

So while writing the next two chapters I’ve realized there’s a lot of extra info I haven’t added so I’m gonna make this a second info page for Juno, broken down into sections!

Basics:

- Juno Marsh is the daughter of Sharon and Randy Marsh, and twin sister of Stanley Marsh, younger sister of Shelley Marsh. She is the youngest in the family.

- She lives in South Park Colorado next door to the Broflovski’s

- She had mid length raven black hair, and deep blue eyes.

- She owns a dog named Sparky.

- She is friends with her brothers friends, though her closest friend is Kenny McCormick.

- She is a junior at South Park High.

Friends:

Kenny McCormick - lead guitarist in the band Crimson Dawn. Best friends with Juno Marsh since preschool. Was turned mortal in 5th grade after a mission to defeat his curse set out by him and Juno, where they broke him of his curse. Big pothead, but not to the point where it’s a problem. Dumb on the outside, but is actually really smart. Works a job to provide mostly for his little sister. Karen adores Juno. Kevin McCormick and Shelly Marsh have been dating for 3 years, and were set up by Kenny and Juno.

Stan Marsh - lead singer in the band Crimson Dawn. Still best friends with Kyle. Short tempered, but actually very sensitive. Hates his family lovingly. Has depression, takes anti-depressants. Has an alcohol problem, though he’s trying very hard to fix it. Refuses to take off his hat, Juno had to get him to wash his hair more. Not as greasy as it was when they were kids, but not the best.

Kyle Broflovski - Has been in love with Juno Marsh since the 4th grade. He fell first she fell harder. The smartest in the class. Is on the varsity basketball team, number 19 (Juno’s bday). Still wears his hat all the time, hates his hair but has warmed up to it more. Hates anything to do with alcohol or drugs. Designated driver always. Helps his brother with homework. Babysits Ike with Juno frequently. An awkward teenage boy, though a lot of girls have crushes on him (including Juno).

Eric Cartman - Still an asshole. Is trying his best. Has chilled down a lot since 4th grade. Was put on medication and sent to therapy after being diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder, with the help of Juno. Almost flunked out of high school, Juno tutored him which led to discovering his mental illness. Is surprisingly a lot better after starting medication. He pretends not to tolerate anyone but actually has a soft spot for his friends. Is slowly working his way up to being forgiven, even by Kyle. Forgets to take his meds and can be insufferable when Liane doesn’t remind him.

Butters - still the sweetest boy alive. Was diagnosed with autism, with Juno’s help. Brought both Juno and Kenny to Hawaii, they’re his favorite people. Juno is the only one allowed to call him Leo. He’s softened up a lot after discovering that he isn’t crazy his mind is just a little different. Owns a cat named Oatmeal, she’s basically his service cat.

Craig Tucker - Cousins with the Marsh family (Laura is Randy’s sister). Very close with Juno, has a fake rivalry with Stan. Smoking buddies with Juno and Kenny.

Tweek Tweak - works for tweak bros with his family. Juno and Craig convinced him to form a new recipe for coffee, and has slowly derailed him from his meth addiction. He still has raging anxiety but is getting healthier. Tweek and Craig have been together since 4th grade.

Wendy Testaburger - Has been dating Stan off and on since 4th grade. Good friends with Juno Marsh, even if her and Stan are on a break.

Stick of truth:

Story will come later!

Juno is known as Princess Juno of the Nine Realms, Princess Juno for short. She is “married” to the elf prince Kyle, which United their kingdoms and made them king and queen.

Fractured But Whole:

Story will come later!

Juno is known as The Gemini.

Her abilities are cloning, power replication (can temporarily take the powers of an individual), yin and Yang ( damages all enemies but strengthens all teammates), and water manipulation. She had started her own super hero team against Coon and Friends titled Supers of Terrific Dare (STDs) with members; The Gemini (Juno), Mysterion (Kenny), Call Girl (Wendy), SheWolf (Annie), FashionMonger (Bebe), Barbaria (Red),

Nightshade (Nichole), Henrietta, Michael, Pete, Super Craig, Wonder Tweek. (Yes she gained girl and goth alliance, making her the strongest group)

More of the girls superhero’s I came up with come later in a character chart!

#south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #stan marsh x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #stan marsh x sister reader

[ctheathy]

Current drafts + inbox requests

Current requested amount [×] = 64

Personal project amount = 30

[Just to put everyone’s mind at ease and prevent paranoia <3]

°❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈°

💚Headcanons [62] :

yan. Sully+compliant!Darling hcs ×

yan. The Lamb//Lambert hcs ×

yan. Sarvente&yan. Ruv+flirty yet shy!Reader hcs ×

yan. Miko//Moesky hcs ×

Faker Sky&NuSky&Moesky//Miko&OG Sky&Scott jealousy hcs ×

NuSky+female!Reader ×

NuSky&Faker Sky+Girlfriend alike!Reader hcs ×

NeetBlue+Darling whose the opposite of her hcs ×

Sonic+introverted!squirrel!Reader hcs ×

Tails general hcs ×

Zails+human!Reader hcs ×

yan. Hologram Tails//Hollow hcs

Tails&Nine&Mangey&Sails when you cry hcs ×

yan. Nine+affectionate!human!Reader hcs ×

yan. Nine+physically affectionate!Reader hcs ×

yan. Nine+shapeshifter!Darling who mimics his tails hcs ×

Nine+younger sibling!Reader hcs ×

Nine+Reader who travels with Sonic hcs ×

Nine+jealous!Reader hcs ×

Nine+yan. Reader hcs ×

Nine+two-tailed!Reader ×

Nine versus Kitsunami hcs ×

yan. Kitsunami+Darling who has feelings for Tails hcs ×

Nine+sweetheart!Darling hcs ×

Nine+hotheaded!Reader hcs ×

Miles [WWMH]+sweetheart!Darling hcs ×

Miles [WWMH] fluff hcs ×

Miles [WWMH]+childhood crush!Reader hcs ×

yan. Miles [WWMH]+childhood friend!Reader hcs ×

yan. Miles [WWMH]+female!Darling NSFW hcs ×

Secret History Tails+catlike!Reader hcs ×

Secret History Tails+isekai’d!Reader hcs ×

Secret History Tails+detective!Reader hcs ×

Secret History Tails+seedrian!Darling hcs ×

Secret History Tails&Miles [WWMH]&Nine+silent!scarred!Reader hcs ×

Flippy&Fliqpy+nature lover yet entomophobic!Reader hcs ×

Flippy&Fliqpy+popstar!Reader that hypersexualizes themselves hcs ×

Flippy&Fliqpy+Reader who has anger issues hcs ×

Bowser+stubborn!Reader hcs ×

yan. Kooky versus yan. Cheatsy hcs

yan. Dark Heart hcs

yan. Kennith Simmons+female!Reader hcs

Kennith Simmons+male!Reader fluff hcs ×

Kennith Simmons romantic+suggestive hcs ×

yan. Hyoro hcs

Itsy-Bits romantic hcs ×

Itsy-Bits+experiment!Darling hcs

yan. Rio Ranger&yan. Sei Satou&yan. Kai Satou+caretaker!Reader

Rio Ranger+sweetheart!Reader who took the bullet for him hcs

Rio Ranger&Laizer+Touchy feely Reader hcs ×

Rio Ranger without the death game hcs ×

Rio Ranger NSFW hcs ×

The Angel general hcs ×

yan. Little Demon&yan. Angel+oddly clingy!Reader who cares deeply for children hcs ×

yan. Eepop hcs

yan. Popee hcs

Popee+male!Reader hcs ×

Great_Day pining hcs ×

Lord Tirek versus Discord hcs ×

Redson+Fire-wield!Reader who has ADHD hcs ×

Monkey King romantic hcs ×

Claude Frollo suggestive hcs ×

❤️Oneshots [25] :

The Unlike One to Blame [The Angel x Reader]

The True Owner of your Heart [Hellpark Pip x Reader]

The Shameless in Shambles [Hellpark Pip ,, Hellpark Gregory x Reader] Guardian Sinner [Pip Pirrup x yan. Reader]

Coffee holds Nothing with You around [yan. Tweek Tweak x Reader]

The Secret Anti-Cupid [yan. gijinka!Sugar Sprinkles x aromantic!Reader]

Council of Cancellation [Sonic x Reader] ×

Burglar of Berserk [Nine x kidnapped!Reader] ×

Stuck on Cloud Nine [WWMH Miles x nine-tailed!Reader] ×

Digit of Delight [Secret History Tails x Reader //Suggestive//] ×

My Bright Light [Secret History Tails x pregnant!Darling] ×

Isekai’d Imbecile [Secret History Tails x Reader]

Lookalike Heartstealer [yan. Secret History Tails x Reader]

Unfitting Outrun [yan. Sonic x Reader] ×

[Pinkamena x human!farmer!Reader] ×

[Shadow x Reader] ×

[Sonic the Hungry Hero x Reader] ×

[Mangey x Reader //Suggestive//] ×

The Last of Her Kind [yan. Chrysalis x unreformed changeling!Reader]

The Doll Who Gained a Heart [Rio Laizer x deceased!Reader]

You're the Treat to my Trick [Kennith Simmons x Reader] ×

Rightful Start to Recovery [Kennith Simmons x male!Reader] ×

Outsmart the Outrageous [Chae Yul x Reader]

Unchargeable Battery [Satou Matsuzaka x Reader]

Unreliable Double Trouble [Sun (GH'S - Two Face) x Reader]

🧡Scenarios + Drabbles [03] :

Tails variants react to Darling’s demise

Tails variants react to Kitsune!Reader ×

Hellpark Philip reacts to seeing his past crush ×

💜Alphabets [00] :

None yet!! Try requesting~

🩷Storylines [07][long hiatus :(] :

Saviour of Honour [WWMH Tails x Reader]

Code for Corrupted Calculation [Various!Sonic Prime x Reader]

The Anchor Display [Gijinka!Manga Marx x Reader]

Mandatory Monstar-osities [yan. Bang x Reader]

A Magnetic Diversion [Dark Heart x Reader]

Bind of Broadcast [Popee x Reader]

Eternity of the Flying Dread [yan. Knuckles the Dread x Reader x Sails | The Flying Dutchman AU]

°❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈°

I am really sorry for not making any progress lately. None of you are getting ignored, I promise I'm seeing everything you guys send in for me. And I'll definitely keep on adding the requests that do not go against my current rules. But I'm kind of burnt out and brain-dead at the moment, so yeah.....

#the guide’s gabbling #masterlist information

[empressofthesunwriter]

The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 8: Your Guide to Be a Goth

In the morning I wake up, thanks to my ringing smartphone.

I blink sleepily and yawn.

I feel like a trunk hit me.

Urgh.

Wondering who is calling me, I pick up the phone.

I grunt a greeting.

“N.K.? Are you okay? You sound pissed off.”, say’s a female voice.

I need a second to register, who is talking to me.

Oh right, there was the space adventure I had last night!

“Tammy, hi sis!”, I say back. “Sorry, I’m still half asleep.”

“Yeah, I feel you. I called you to check if you are doing okay?”

“I should ask you that. You nearly got ass raped.”

I can imagine that she is making a face.

“Don’t remind me. Anyway, school got canceled for the next few days. My mom told me there was a huge earthquake!”

That’s interesting.

I sit up on the bed and put my glasses on.

“I have the feeling we caused the earthquake with the crash landing we did.”, I tell her.

“Same.”, she agrees. “I hope no one finds out. Since we are free, do you wanna do something today?”

Aww, did I hear right? Tammy wants to spend the day with me!

“Girl, I’m so on board. When should we meet up?”, I ask excitedly.

“Well, the mall is out of the question how about after lunch we meet at Tweek Bro’s?”

Now I make a face.

“Tam, they put drugs in the coffee, let’s not!”

“For real? Thank the lord I never drank any. Okay, how about cinema? We could watch a movie.”

“That’s a plan. Let’s do this.”

We agree on a time and then hung up.

Happily, I jump out of bed and start my morning routine. You know washing and then dressing.

Humming the first opening of Demon Slayer I make my way to the kitchen.

“Morning Mamma, morning Papà!”, I greet my parents.

Papà is reading the newspaper, while Mamma is making pancakes.

Oh yes, this day starts awesome!

“Morning my princess.”, greets Papà back.

“Sit down N.K., the pancakes are nearly done.”, informs Mamma.

Grinning I give her a cheek kiss and then Papà one as I sit down on the table with him.

Mamma serves the pancakes and we dig in.

My parents tell me as Tammy did, that school got canceled for a few days. They tell me to enjoy this extra free time and to make new friends.

Well, I sure will get to know better Tammy and there are also Kenny and my other fourth-grade buddies.

We will probably still play our RPG.

I wonder if I somehow I can convince them to let Tammy join? Would she even want that? I mean we kicked ass together on the alien ship, but LARPing is something different.

I will ask her when I meet up with her.

For now, I’m done with my breakfast and ask my parents if I can watch some TV.

They permitted it.

Awesome!

I think I’m going to watch some Naruto. I grave some cool Ninja action!

The TV is on the news channel of South Park, before I can switch to Crunchyroll, I hear from the news anchor: “…And that a large earthquake and several fires in the South Park area last night woke many residents from their sleep. Here with a report is a midget in a bikini.”

What?!

They really switch to a midget in a bikini, who is standing behind a large crowd, and…oh there is the spaceship Tammy and I crashed! It’s hardly hiding with these few pieces of clothing they put over it.

I need to know, what they know. Not that suddenly the FBI is before our door and throws me and Tammy in jail or some shit!

So I continue watching.

The midget reports: “Tom, government workers here are assuring everyone nothing out of the ordinary has happened. They claim that the only reason huge tents have gone up to cover this area is to mask the construction of a new Taco Bell which will open sometime later this month.”

….Please tell me I didn’t hear what I heard?! I mean yeah for me and Tammy, but no one can be this stupid and not see that this is a UFO?!

Also, why does the government hide it?

Oh wait, that’s the USA of course they would cover it up.

“Thanks, Midget, I do love me some Taco Bell.”, says the news anchor. Oh my lord, are the adults in this town really that dumb?! “The mayor of South Park states that last night's tremors and fires are under control and that hopefully schools and businesses can open again soon.”

I can just facepalm at this whole stupidity.

I just can’t with South Park.

Where the fuck did my parents moved us?!

Not that I’m glad that Tammy and I aren’t going to get punished for the UFO crash, it’s just….aargh!

I don’t even have words.

That’s when someone knocks on our door.

Wondering who it is I open it and…. yippie it’s Lord Big Stomach.

Can you feel how happy I am?

No?

Neither I.

“Cartman what-“, I can’t even ask him what he wants, since he starts to yell.

“AGHGH!! MY GOD!! They came outta nowhere!”

“Who came out of nowhere?!”

“There was a huge earthquake and then, and then and then there was burning in my yard!”

“That doesn’t really explain what do you want?”

 “You don't understand.”

I’m getting really tired of this shit!

“Spit it out, Cartman!”

“The elves... THEY TOOK THE STICK! And it's BULLSHIT because that is TOTALLY CHEATING! We specifically said no trying to take the Stick at night! Elves are DIRTY LITTLE LIARS! And we have to lay waste to their ENTIRE BASE!”

He is huffing and puffing and if I was the bigger person I should offer him the couch and ask if he needs a glass of water.

But since I’m petty, I will not.

Suffer asshole.

“So you are telling me the elves used the earthquake to steal the Stick of Truth at night which is against the rules.”, I sum it up.

“YES!”, Fatass yells.

Damn, he is angry! Maybe he will get a stroke and we are free from him!

Ding dong, the wicked Wizard King is dead!

Okay, I shouldn’t joke about it, just I really, really hate Cartman.

“Well my king do we have a plan besides burning down the elven kingdom?”, yet I still ask.

Hey the RPG is fun.

Even with Lord I-can’t-see-my-feets.

“Yes, I have!”, he begins. “You have some incredible qualities to make friends quickly, Sir Douchebag. I'm sending you on a quest to go out into the lands of Zaron and recruit a whole 'nother FACTION to Kupa Keep. Find the goth kids and give them this letter.”

I stare at the piece of paper in my hand. My experience with goth kids tells me, they won’t join thanks to the way it’s written and the crude drawing of an evil elf.

That’s still too conformatistic for them.

From where did I know this? When I lived in New York I had a goth girl in my class. She was pretty and I tried to hit on her.

I learned fast that my charms don’t work on goths.

So I needed I know a new way, which lead me to learn a bit about goth culture.

Let’s just say what I learned turned me away from the girl.

That is really not my sub-culture I’m happy to be an otaku.

“Get them to join our kingdom and we shall lay waste to the Drow Elves once and for all!”, commands King It’s-a-wonder-I-don’t-have-diabites.

“Can I first get dressed in my Stick of Truth get up?”

“Oh, sure.”

With that, he waddles out of my house cursing the elves.

Damn, today is going to be a long day, I can just feel it.

I hope I can manage to watch the movie with Tammy.

Better I get dressed fast and make the goth joins us.

Somehow.

I feel already a headache forming.

Urgh.

Back in my Link cosplay I step out of the house.

I’m sad that I can’t put on my Dark Magician Girl cosplay, since I don’t think it’s time to let on Cartman the bomb drop that I’m a girl.

He is already angry enough today.

“Hello my dear mage!”, greets me the lovely voice of my fair princess. “I hope you had pleasant dreams.”

I grin and we hug each other. Then I pull her hood down, so I can give her a sweet morning kiss.

Princess Kenny formally purrs. She licks along my lips, begging for entrance and I open my mouth to welcome her sweet tongue.

Oh yes!

That’s what I need right now!

We kiss for a few minutes till I stop it with a kiss on her cheek.

“This is an awesome way to start the day, my beloved princess. Be assured that all my dreams were about you!”, I flirt.

Princess Kenny smiles happily and gives me another kiss.

“Glad to hear that, babe.”

I can’t help but blush at the nickname. I like being called babe.

I find it hot.

“My lady be assured that I would love to kiss you the whole day, but I got a new quest from Wizard Fatass.”, I explain to her.

She takes my hand, nodding.

“I know. I will be your buddy. Butters wanted to lead you to the goth kids, but I won at Rock-Paper-Scissors.”

I giggle and we start walking.

“Can’t get enough of me, my princess?”

“You know it, hot stuff.”

Now we giggle together.

At least I have Kenny on my side today.

This makes this whole quest 1000 times better.

Okay, I really thought my princess would lead me to the cemetery.

The goths I meet liked to spend their time there.

But the school?

…Well, someone said once that school sucks your soul out. Don’t remember who.

That is pretty goth, I think.

Already gothic music greets us from behind the school, where the South Park goth kids like to hang out.

I can also smell cigarettes.

Yeah, we are in the right place.

I walk up to the four smoking goth kids.

Two are clearly fourth graders. The one with the black and red hair and the only girl in the group.

Another boy is clearly in my grade, but I’m surprised to see a little kindergarten child with them.

And he is also smocking.

I know, live and let live, but that’s not okay that practically a baby smokes.

What even lets someone so young join the goth culture?

“Who's that?”, drags me back from my thoughts the voice of the black-red-haired goth.

“I think it's that new kid people are talking about.”, answers him the girl goth.

“Beat it, New Kid, this area is strictly for goth kids.”, tells me the fifth grader goth.

I roll my eyes at them.

“I have eyes, you know.”, I sass back. “And also a name. I’m N.K. and I’m here to give you this.”

I hand black-red hair goth Cartman’s letter. He hands it to the girl and she to the fifth grader goth.

He is probably their boss or something.

“Join the Kingdom of Kupa Keep to battle the wicked elves. All recruits welcome.", he reads aloud.

With a huff, he crumpled up the letter and throws it away.

“Sorry, Galadriel, we don't play Dungeons and Douchebags.”

“Yeah, beat it, New Girl.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“I have a name, you know?”

At least they can also see I’m a girl.

Also, I fucking know it wouldn’t work out!

“Aw, come on, let's do it.”, begs surprisingly the kindergarten goth. “We never do anything.”

“No WAY! We can't do what this kid asks us to do! She's a conformist! Look at her clothes and her hair!”, disagrees boss goth.

“I would more say I look like Link from Breath of the Wild which makes me a Cosplayer/Otaku but whatever.”, I call in between.

My correction gets ignored.

What nice people!

Black-red-haired goth turns to me saying: “Yeah, tell you what, New Girl. Get the right clothes and some cigarettes and coffee and then talk to us again.”

“Yeah, if you wanna prove you aren't a conformist then you need to look exactly like we do.”, agrees Boss Goth. “Then MAYBE we'll consider hanging out with you.”

Do I even have another choice?

Then it’s time to turn Goth.

I rejoin my princess, who had waited at the little fence door for me, and call over my back to the Goths: “I will be back.”

“Coffee, cigarettes, and some goth clothes.”, repeats Princess Kenny, what I told her what I need to show the Goth kids I’m not a conformist. “Well coffee, we could get from Tweek Bro’s, and the clothes, there is an old hobo by U-Store-It who sells some. Cigarettes could be a problem. We might need to steal them from someone.”

I snort and squeeze her hand.

“I pretty much ransacked any house here, a pack of cig’s I didn’t find.”

She hums thoughtfully.

“I don’t like to say it.”, she starts with a frown. “But I know the six graders smoke, we could get the cigarettes from them.”

“By asking?”

“I think, we need to beat them up.”

“This quest is already a headache.”

We both sign.

I lead Kenny to my house. She gives me a couries look.

“I’m not drinking any of the drug coffee of Tweek Bro’s.”, I explain. “I think we have some really dark coffee.”

She nods in understanding and we enter my home. My princess looks around, while I lead her to the kitchen.

Funny, Mamma is currently drinking a cup of coffee.

“Hey my princess, what are you doing here?”, she ask. “And who is your little girlfriend.”

“Hey Mamma, that’s Princess Kenny the fairest maiden in all the kingdom.”, I present her.

Cutely Kenny curtesy before Mamma, which makes her coo.

“Aww, what a cute Princess you are.”

Kenny mumbled a thank you.

“I grave some coffee, Mamma. Do we have some extra dark?”, I ask her.

Mamma hums. She puts down her own coffee and searches the shelves for it.

“I think your Papa brought some…”, she trails off as she finds the package. “N.K., this is really potent I will make you only a little thermos and no more coffee for the day, understood?”

I sign but accept Mamma’s condition.

Not like we have another way to get extra dark coffee as I said I wouldn’t buy anything from Tweek Bro’s.

After Mamma heads me the thermos with the extra dark coffee, she hands Kenny and me some chocolate chip cookies as snacks.

We thank her and munching on the cookies we leave my house.

“Hey, there he is! New Kid!”

Outside are waiting for us four elves.

I protective stand before my Princess, sending them glares.

It’s weird that they aren’t attacking us.

“What do you elves want?”, I growl at them.

“New Kid, the Elf King has requested your presence.”, explains one of the elves. “You can either come quietly or you can fight. But I warn you, fighting this fight at this point in the game is a complete waste of time and you might as well skip it and just come with us.”

….Okay, this is surprising. Didn’t expect that. But…this could be worth it to get information on the elves.

“N.K.?”, whispers Princess Kenny worried.

I lick my lips and turn to her.

“Return to Kupa Keep my princess, I will see what the Elf King wants. Don’t worry about me.”

“Are you insane?!”, shouts Kenny at the same time as an elf say’s: “You chose wisely, New Kid. Come with us.”

The elf binds my arms behind my back. The four elves lead me away from Princess Kenny who is shouting my name.

I hope I made the right decision.

Some elf is playing the drum as another elf is leading me with a lance in my back through the Elven Kingdom.

I have to admit the Elven Kingdom looks 100000 times better than Kupa Keep.

It’s so beautiful here.

We stop before the throne and…all air leaves my lungs.

On the throne sits a handsome red-haired boy with forest green eyes wearing a red and golden robe with a branch crown over his green ushanka.

I turn embarrassingly red and feel hot.

No, no, no, no!

That’s not fair that my enemy is my type!

Damn, how I wish now to be wearing my beautiful Dark Magician Girl cosplay, to show what a pretty girl I am and not my Link cosplay who hides my gender.

Mostly.

The elf king frowns at me, damn even that looks good on him, and turns to his right side, where a warrior with a blue helmet, a green cloak, a brown sleeveless shirt, and some blue jeans stands.

They two whisper with each other, sending me looks, which turns me even more into a tomato.

What the heck are they talking about and what’s with these looks?

The drum finish playing.

All is still in the kingdom.

I only hear my own beating heart, as the Elf King speaks to me: “So... you're the new kid everyone is talking about. What's your name?”

Before I can answer, the elf with lance answers him: “He doesn't talk, Elf King, he thinks he's hot shit or something.”

The king and the blue helmet elf, I bet it’s his right-hand man, share a look.

They seem to understand each other without words.

I wonder what they are discussing.

“I can talk.”, I say loud and clear and give my captor the evil eye. “I just didn’t want to talk to you.”

Lance-elf sends back an evil look, while the other elven are all whispering and mumbling at each other.

I can’t quite catch what they see, only that the word feminine and female fall often.

Regally the Elf King raises a hand to make them all stop.

And I get weak knee seeing what power he commands. Not only is he hot looking, but no his subject also respects him so much that a simple raised hand is all he needs to make them stop talking.

The Elf King gets hotter by the minute and I just wanna turn into goo.

Urgh I can’t take it!

“Would you talk to me, New Kid?”, he asked me directly.

God, these green eyes will be the death of me. So determined and strong.

Since I can’t trust my voice, I nod simply.

Something like a little smile forms on his face.

Even that is so attractive!

Aaah!

“What’s your name?”

I gulp and hope I don’t stutter.

“I’m…Novella-Karin, but people call me mostly N.K.”

Suddenly all the elven freakout, only the king and his right-hand men stay calm.

“A girl!”

“The Wizard King lets a girl play with them?!”

“Of course, she is a girl, she is too pretty to be a boy!”

That and other things get yelled.

Nice to know that there are more people with brains.

“Excuse me.”, I raise my voice above all, which surprisingly makes the eleven shut up. “Wizard Man Titty’s doesn’t know I’m a girl, he thinks I’m a dude, would be really awesome if you all could keep it to yourself.”

The right-hand man snorts, and the Elf King smirks, fuck that’s hot, while the rest of the elven laugh.

“G-Good n-nickname for the W-Wizard King.”, tells me a familiar voice.

I can’t help but smile as I see the Bard walking up to us.

“Hello Mister Bard, nice to see you again.”, then embarrassed I add. “I hope I didn’t hurt you too bad yesterday.”

“D-Don’t w-worry, m-m-my lady. N-Nothing an l-l-level 10 Bard like me c-can’t h-handle. I’m Jimmy, b-by the way.”, he tells me.

I nod smiling.

That’s when the Elf King steps behind me and frees me from my binding. I shiver as I feel his warm hands on my pulse. How I wish they would me touch everywhere.

“Lady N.K.”, he formally whispers in my ear, and…goddammit whatever he wants from me, I will do it. I’m already putty in his hands. “I think we need to talk about some things.”

With that he gestures for me to follow him, his right-hand men and Bard Jimmy right behind us.

Time to finally find out what the handsome Elf King wants from me.

Next

#southparkfanfiction #southpark #new kid sp #dovahkiin #stick of truth #SP FanFic: Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1 #douchbag #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #k2 #polyamarous

[syurreal]

Coffee King Tweek, here to destroy you with his caffeinated rage

#tweek tweak #coffee king tweek #Lord of the rings tweek #southpark #syusuke draws #my art #sp tweek #southpark tweek #sketch #I drew this 8 million years ago #Omg

[midnight-echoes]

Incorrect Quotes Part Three.

Meta Knight, to Bandana Dee: If you see Kaito, give him this message *makes a neutral face* Meta Knight: He'll know what it means. *later* Bandana Dee: oh, and Meta Knight said to give you a message. Bandana Dee: *makes a neutral face* Kaito: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

Monokuma: Something’s off. Kirby: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people. Monokuma: No, but that’s funny.

Kyle: Know why I called you in here? Stan: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. Kyle: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

Kyle: Hey, what’s the name of the guy who lives down the hall? Ryoma: His cats' names are Walter and Rose. Kyle: That's not what I asked. Ryoma: That is all the information I have.

Clyde: What’s the announcement, Tweek? Tweek: It’s a lecture. Monokuma’s gonna tell us everything he knows about sex. Kaito: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds.

Ryoma: King Dedede just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then he reached down and untied my shoe.

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Cartman, with Tweek and Kirby behind him: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Cartman: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Cartman: Bandana Dee FUCKING FELL OFF!

Monokuma: I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer house in Lisbon.

Rantaro: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Tolkien: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons! Kirby: Bet you I can! Ryoma: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

Kyle: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched? Bandana Dee: IT. Jimmy: Annabelle. Craig: Paranormal Activity. Tweek: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

Marx: Is the pink panther a lion? Kenny: Say that again but slower. Marx: I don’t get it. Kenny: He’s a PANTHER. Marx: Is that a type of lion? Kenny: No, it’s a fucking panther. Marx: *googles panther* They aren’t pink? Kenny: AND LIONS ARE?!

Butters: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Meta Knight: A doll. Kaito: A cinnamon roll. Stan: A sweetheart. Butters: Butters: ...stop it.

Kirby: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited. Craig: "If" Monokuma: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and they might not even die.

Cartman: Truth or dare? Stan: Dare. Cartman: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room. Stan: Hey Marx? Marx, blushing: Yeah? Stan: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Kyle.

King Dedede: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to- King Dedede: *sees Kirby shoving Monokuma into the washing machine while Marx records and Kaito watches* King Dedede: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

Cartman: Ducks are better than rabbits. Ryoma: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. Tweek: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Ryoma: We’re not talking about flavour, Tweek! Tweek: Flavour counts! Ryoma: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? K1-B0: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier? Ryoma: Okay, but- K1-B0: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? Tweek: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out! Ryoma: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, TWEEK! Tweek: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, RYOMA! Cartman: I- Jesus-

Monokuma: K1-B0's first detention, I'm so proud. King Dedede: Whoa, back up. Why did he get detention? Stan: Because he's an idiot. Rantaro, terrified: He can do that??

Bandana Dee: You spent all our money on THIS?? Butters, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

K1-B0: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? King Dedede: >:O language Tolkien: Yeah watch your fucking language Marx: Okay, who taught Tolkien the fuck word?! Craig: 'The fuck word'. Meta Knight: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Tolkien: Oh my god he censored it Craig: Say fuck, Meta Knight. Tolkien: Do it, Meta Knight. Say fuck.

Scott: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Tweek: Fucking Ryoma and Meta Knight were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

Marx: Don't quote me on this, but I believe murder is illegal!

K1-B0: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet! King Dedede: No, please don't! I have a family to feed! K1-B0: K1-B0: What? King Dedede: I need to feed my Neopets!

#incorrect quotes #kirby #danganronpa #south park #king dedede #meta knight #bandana dee #marx kirby #k1 b0 #kaito momota #rantaro amami #ryoma hoshi #monokuma #eric cartman #kenny mccormick #kyle brovlofski #stan marsh #butters stotch #craig tucker #tweek tweak #jimmy valmer #clyde donovan #tolkien black #scott malkinson #ndrv3 spoilers #sp style #ngl i do headcanon that dedede plays neopets lol

[zeightz]

Snow White AU continues 🍎

Tweek's father constantly gives Tweek coffee to calm him down, not realizing that it, on the contrary, aggravates his condition. Therefore, Richard is a king by analogy with the queen who poisoned Snow White and coffee is a poisoned apple

AU's story begins with Tweek developing paranoia and hallucinations (one of the possible consequences of excessive caffeine consumption), due to which he began to think that his father wants to kill him, so he decides to run away and stumbles upon a dwarf house in which remains. There was no coffee in the gnome house and Tweek, already heavily addicted to caffeine, would have started something like a caffeine withdrawal. The father is looking for him, and when he finds he tries to calm him down in the usual way - coffee.

#south park #south park fanart #south park au #snow white au #z8z #tweak tweek #sp tweek #richard tweak #hope this au doesn't become too weird

[boleyn-falcon]

Rules: answer 20 questions and tag 10 people you want to know better

i was tagged by @sixsclassic (thanks :3)

Name: Olivia

Pronouns: she/her

Nicknames: Liv, Livvy(livie), Gaylord(long story), Turbo

Zodiac: Sagittarius (or as my friends say,saggytiddies)

height: 5′3 

Languages: English and i’m learning German  

Nationality: American

Fav season: Late Fall

Fav scent: B R O M I N E (Disney ride water smell)

Fav color: neon green,black, and crimson

Fav animal: Hawks/Falcons, Raccoons, Maned wolves, and lions

Fav fictional characters:  All the Six queens,Scar and Vitani(lion king),Beast(beauty and the beast), Tweek and Kenny(South Park),Merida(brave), Sombra(overwatch),Cait and Piper(Fallout 4), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and a ton more

Coffee,Tea or hot chocolate: Hot chocolate and ONLY Irish breakfast tea

Average sleep hours: 3AM-10AM OR 11PM-6AM

Dog or cat person: depends on the breed of both

Number of blankets i sleep with: 1 becuase my mom took my fluffy blanket because i was overheating-

Dream trip: back to London, Australia, and Germany

Blog established: early Feb 2020

followers: 104 (w o a h)

Random fact: I study Disney history, animation, and technology because they are really interesting and i wanna work for Disney one day :)

anyone who sees this do it if you want mainly becuase im scare of tagging people lol @homosixual-dumbass @thatboleyn-girl @silverpetals97 @one-time-i-jumped-off-a-cliff 

[uas-fics]

Title: The Cool and the Uncool Summary: Kevin's not a bad boyfriend. He and Red get along so well! So why won't she let them be seen together? Is he really that uncool? Rating: G Ships: Revin For @revinweek  I combined like day 2-5 prompts for this because I wouldn't have time to actually make quality content otherwise, so it counts for all those days. ^^;

You can also read it on AO3

---

Kevin burst his hand away from his head.

"Those special effects blew my mind!" He exclaimed, excitedly swinging their hands. "Did you see the laser fire? So cool!"

Red nodded in agreement. "I know! And the costumes were so realistic. If I didn't know better, I would have thought they hired real aliens." She sighed. "We've come so far from actors throwing themselves around a set to show turbulence."

The two waited at the crosswalk as a line of cars slowly rolled by. The evening flow of traffic would make walking Red home a bit of a chore on any other day, but Kevin didn't care this time.

They had been counting down the days to the movie's premiere. With the influx of superhero movies lately, a good old fashion sci-fi space adventure was mana from heaven for them.

It wasn't that either of them hated superhero movies. On the contrary, Kevin loved Marvel's movies. When he heard the plot of the new Thor movie, he dug through his collection of comics for the mini-series where Jane became Thor while Thor went soulsearching and read them three times over in his excitement.

And Red had a deep fondness for DC's movies and comics. She could quote the Joker's joke about the inmates and the flashlight from 'The Killing Joke' verbatim. She saw Wonder Woman five times when the movie came out and even dressed up as her for the Halloween party at school. She looked so cool and awesome, way better than the other Wonder Women in their class.

But there inlined the problem. Except for Wonder Woman, DC's movies sucked. Their comics were good enough and the animated universe from the nineties was awesome, but those are nothing compared to the glory that was Marvel's extended universe.

Whenever Kevin pointed this out, they would argue about it. They even broke up for a whole three days because of it!

This one-shot sci-fi film was just what the relationship doctors ordered.

"So, what did you think the ending meant?" Red asked. "Did the captain die or do you think her cryogenic status will hold out until she reaches New Earth?"

Kevin tilted his head in thought. "Well, I think she'll make it. The technical experts did say it was able to make it there, or nearly there. She might wake up a few days before, but that will give her time to draw up a report to give to the Emporer of New Earth"

"But it was damaged, remember? In the fight with the alien--" Red froze. With a small gasp, she tore her hand away from Kevin's and shoved it in her pocket.

Kevin furrowed his brow and looked down at his mitten-covered hand. Did he have a hard candy from his pocket stuck to it again? No? They why would Red drop his hands?

"Hey! Red!"

Oh, right.

Bebe trotted up to her, completely ignoring Kevin, which he was fine with. He put his hands in his own pockets and looked away, kicking at a rock on the sidewalk.

"Bebe, hi, what are you doing? I thought you went out with Clyde?" She looked around her towards Tweak Bros down the street. Kevin looked too, but he didn't see Clyde or anyone else in their class near the coffee shop.

Bebe scoffed. "We did but then your stupid cousin showed up." She wrinkled her nose. "He dared Clyde to see how many muffins he could eat and Clyde ended up puking on the floor."

Red recoiled. "Eeeew! Why are boys so gross?"

"I know, right?" Bebe looped her arm around Red's. "Do you wanna come to my house? I got the latest issue of Preteen Girl's Dream in and there is a quiz in there you just have to take to find out what your favorite cereal is based on your zodiac--and there is a recipe for moss graffiti that I think Wendy would love to try. Oh and an interview with--"

As Bebe rattled off the contents of the magazine, Red looked over her shoulder at Kevin with an apologetic smile. Kevin sighed but nodded anyway. He gave her a small wave then trudged across the clear crosswalk home.

---

Not even Star Trek could lift his spirits. Kevin slumped down in the couch, wishing the cushions would open up and swallow him whole. Maybe take him to a fantasy world with characters that look oddly like his friends and family where he would beat the odds and become a hero to the people and defeat the bad guy. He'd loved that.

Then when he got back to his world after being king and loved by all, Red wouldn't be ashamed of dating him and he could be happy here, too!

As the credits of the last episode on the disk rolled, Kevin had yet to be swallowed up.

Giving up on that possibility, he rolled to his side, staring at the title screen playing clips from the show.

He didn't get it. Did it matter that much that he wasn't a cool kid like she was? Didn't dating her move him up in the social pecking order? Or did he just pull her down?

Kevin sighed. What could he do to make himself cooler? He stopped wearing his Klingon ears to school and only made a minimum of three references in conversations not about sci-fi movies.  Didn't that erase enough of his uncool status?

A thought hit him.

Clyde and Craig were both nerds too. They liked sci-fi. They made references. They were cool kids. He just needed to find out what they did!

"Moooom!" Kevin yelled towards the kitchen. "Can I go visit Clyde? It'll only be for an hour. Please? I promise I'll text you if I'm late."

From the kitchen, pots and pans rattled and the sink turned on. Just as Kevin pulled in a breath to yell again, his mom replied, "Alright, you may. Just be careful and back before dinner. We're having meatloaf."

"Thanks, Mom!"

Kevin tried to jump to his feet, only to have his heels tangle in the throw blanket and fall to his face into the carpet.

---

Clyde put his hand on his hip and eyed Kevin up and down.

"What's up?" He asked. "You look out of breath."

Kevin nodded, hands on his knees. He ran the whole way to Clyde's house so he could have as much time as possible before dinner to talk.

"Can I," He panted, "come in? I have to ask you a question, then I have to run and ask Craig a question too."

Clyde stepped aside to let him. "Craig's here with me. You can ask him now if you want."

"That's perfect!" Kevin straightened up.

"We're in the living room watching Buzzfeed Unsolved." Clyde waved for him to follow.

In the Donovan's living room, Craig reclined on the couch, chuckling at whatever the hosts had said a moment prior.

"Hey, dude," Clyde leaned over the back of the couch, "Kevin Stoley is here. He has a question."

Craig twisted around to give Kevin an uninterested look.

"Yeah?" He nodded. "What?"

Kevin opened his mouth, then shut it. He squirmed under Craig and Clyde's gazes.

"Um, I, I need to know, ah, um," He chewed his lip, "how...how are you two so cool? You like the same things I do, but no one thinks you two are nerds."

Craig snorted and rolled back to the laptop set up on the coffee table. Clyde covered his laugh with his fist.

"Oh, wow, really, Kevin?" Clyde shook his head. "That's what you ran over here to ask?"

"Yes?  It's very important." Kevin wrung his hands together.

Clyde threw his arm over his shoulder. He patted his chest with a shake of his head.

"Oh, Kevin, my friend, for a nerd you're not that smart," Clyde chided, "Coolness isn't something you can just learn. It's something either you have or you don't."

"But...but what makes you cool? Why do your girlfriends like to be with you?" Kevin paused, then corrected, "Why do your partners like to be with you?"

Without turning around, Craig asked, "Are you asking this because you want a girlfriend? There are plenty of girls closer to your social standing that would date you, dude." He paused the video to get a better look at a picture of some sort of creature.

A blush crept up his face. "N-no, I, ah, just tell me. Why do people like you? Why does Bebe stay with you?"

Craig chuckled, earning a glare from Clyde.

"Weeeeell," Clyde bobbed his head side to side, "girls like me because I'm super handsome and charismatic. Bebe thinks I'm the best boy ever--no matter what happened today." Clyde flipped Craig the bird, which he returned without looking up from the laptop.

"Yeah, well, Tweek likes me because...uuuuh..." Craig straightened up as he thought. "I don't know, man. Fate or something? I'm ten times hotter than Clyde?" He propped himself up on the couch to question, "What girl do you want to date so bad? All the cool girls don't seem like your...type."

"There's not a girl!" Kevin lied, "I, I just want to be cool."

"Why? You have friends. You don't sit alone at lunch. No one bullies you more than anyone else." Craig ticked off on his fingers. "You're even on the basketball team. What's the point?"

Craig's probing stare made sweat spring up on Kevin's skin before narrowing his eyes. Even Clyde started giving him the suspicious look.

"Fine! It's Red!" He blurted out. "We're dating but she doesn't want anyone to know because I'm not as cool as her and I just really want to be able to tell everyone what a cool girlfriend I have!"

Kevin slapped his hand over his mouth and backed out of Clyde's grasp.

"Oh, shoot! Please, you can't tell anyone. She'll be mad at me."

Clyde's mouth hung open while Craig wrinkled his nose.

"Eeeeeew, gross." Craig stuck out his tongue as Clyde demanded, "How?!"

"I don't know?"

"Red is...and you are...but Red is hot!" Clyde gasped. "She's cool and I dated her once. Why would someone like her date someone like you?"

Kevin started, "Well, we both like sci-fi and comics and stuff, and I was at the library and we wanted to check out the same book and--"

"But she's hot!" Clyde cut in.

Craig jumped off the couch. He walked beside Clyde to grabbed hold of the back of his shirt and pull it over his head, leaving his friend tangled in cotton fabric.

"Shut up about my cousin!" Craig snapped. "She's not hot. She's a loser and a nerd, just like Kevin. They're perfect for each other."

"Red is not a loser!" Kevin defended. "And neither am I. Just tell me what to do to make her ok with being seen with me."

Clyde disentangled himself from his shirt with a suck of breath. He smoothed out his hair and readjusted his clothes.

"Ok, you know what, yeah, yeah, ok, I'll help you be cool," Clyde proclaimed. "We just need to fix your hair, and your voice, and your face..."

Craig took his cellphone from his pocket as Kevin asked what was wrong with his hair, voice, and face.  He took a few steps backwards before heading into the kitchen.

---

Bebe finished tallying up the questionnaire with a flourish of her pen. Red rested her chin in her hands as she laid on her stomach on Bebe's bed.

"Ok, so, according to this quiz, your perfect guy is a hunky scientist," Bebe exclaimed. "How sweet, Red. You'll be like Marrie Currie!"

"Dying of radiation poisoning?" Red laughed, taking the test to make sure Bebe tallied right.

"No, like, working with your man and winning the Nobel prize in science or something. You're really good at science." Bebe elaborated.

"I'm not that good," Red rolled her eyes. She was good at science, actually, very good. It's just so interesting and cool, but if she owned up to that, Bebe might think she was bragging.

"Yes, you are!" She pushed her shoulder. "You're going to do some cool space science things, and I'll discover how to talk to dolphins, and we'll both have really hot hubbies standing by us."

"You mean you'll have Clyde eating all the tiny quiches at the ceremony dinner?" Red teased.

Bebe put her hand to her chest in offense. She opened her mouth to snap something at her when Red's phone rang.

She held up a finger and took it out. She raised an eyebrow. Why was Craig calling her?

"One second." She held the phone to her ear. "Hello? Craig? What do you want?"

"You're dating Kevin Stoley?"

Her heart stopped in her chest. Her gaze whipped towards Bebe. Luckily, Bebe had moved to her desk with the magazine and was copying something down in her notebook.

"What are you talking about?" Red hissed, twisting to sit up with her back away from Bebe.

"Kevin? Kevin Stoley? The nerd? The only Chinese kid we had until like last year? Cosplays Spock every chance he gets?" Craig replied in a deadpan. "Your boyfriend, apparently?"

Red forced a breath through her teeth. "Who told you that?"

"Kevin did. I'm at Clyde's. He came running in demanding to know how to be cool. I--I mean Clyde bullied him into telling us why," Craig explained. "He said he wanted to be cool so you wouldn't be embarrassed by him."

Red's cheeks burned. Hopping to her feet, she told Bebe she needed to take the call to the hall. Bebe nodded understandingly before taking her own phone out to snap a picture of a magazine page.

Once out in the hall, Red demanded, "You bullied him?!"

"I didn't. Didn't you hear me? Clyde did."

She could hear the eye roll in his tone.

"So you are dating then?" he continued.

Red looked up and down the hall then whispered, "Yeah? We are. He's really sweet and smart, and if you keep picking on him, I swear I'll get you, Craig Tucker."

"Wow, breaking out the last name. What are you, Bertha Red, my mom?" Craig mocked. He knew using her first and middle name like that would get under her skin.

"Shut up!" Red ordered. "Just, urgh! What's going on? Is Kevin still there?"

Craig hummed. "Yeah, he is. Clyde is giving him a list of what he can do to be cool like he is."

Red winced. Cool like Clyde? Clyde wasn't really cool. Sure, he acted cool and confident and brave, but everyone knew that was a lie. He cried at the drop of a hat and wouldn't stand up for himself if his friends weren't standing with him. Clyde was just as big of a nerd as Kevin. Why would Kevin ever thing to get tips on coolness from him?

Craig spoke, filling up the silence her stunned reaction caused, "Do you really think Kevin will drag your standing down that far? How do you know dating you wouldn't bring him up?."

The sound of a refrigerator being open came from the other end of the phone, followed by Craig calling to ask Clyde if he could have some orange juice.

Red squirmed against the wall as if Craig was in the hall staring her down. She wasn't sure what would happen if she told everyone she was dating someone as uncool as Kevin.

When Heidi started dating Cartman, she became a laughing stock. Though Kevin wasn't nearly as terrible as Cartman, the last thing Red wanted was to be mocked for liking a nerd.

"You wouldn't understand," she finally replied.

"No, I get it." Craig shifted the phone. "Tweek wasn't all that cool when we started dating, but he's really cool now. I bet it'll be the same thing, at least if you keep Kevin from making too many Star Wars references."

Red groaned. "That's not the same. You and Tweek are cute together because you two are, like, opposites. It's like a dog and a cat playing together!"

Craig swallowed some orange juice on the other end. "Wait, what? Am I the cat? Or the dog?"

"It doesn't matter." Red began to pace, twiddling with the ends of her hair. "We aren't different enough! It's not cute. It's weird that I would be interested in him."

"But not for him to be interested in you?"

"No, because I'm cool and popular."

"Clyde called you 'hot,' and I corrected him that you are a loser and a nerd." Craig teased. "Aren't I a good cousin?"

"Screw you! Stop making fun of me." Red threw her hand up as she came to the end of the hall. "I want to tell people we're dating, but I can't!" She spun on her heels to head back towards Bebe's bedroom. "No one can know that Kevin and I are dat...ing."

Bebe's mouth hung open. The magazine fell from her hands to the floor, falling open to the future spouse quiz.

"You have a boyfriend?!" Bebe gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.

"Shoot!" Red flinched back.

"Red?" Craig's voice almost sounded concerned.

"Craig, I need to go. Talk to you later." Red went to end the call, only to quickly add, "Also go make Clyde stop before he gets Kevin thinking vomiting and mosquitoes are cool."

Before Craig could reply, she clicked end and shove the phone into her pocket.

"You have a boyfriend?" Bebe repeated. "Who? Kevin who? Not Kevin McCormick? He's, like, thirteen and smells like tobacco."

"No, I, um..." Red wracked her brain for a lie but came up with nothing that would be even close to believable. "It's not Kevin McCormick."

Bebe bound up to her. She wrapped her fingers around her arm, buzzing with excitement.

"Then who? Is it that Kevin from fifth grade? Not that Kevin from Middle Park?" Bebe's eyes grew as she searched Red up and down as if she might have a sign on her chest with Kevin's full name.

"Bebe, please, drop it," Red begged. "It's a secret."

"I can keep a secret." Bebe grinned. When Red didn't answer, her face fell in confusion. "What's wrong? Is he a," her voice dropped down, "an adult?"

"No!" Red pushed her away. "I am not dating a grown-up! That's gross."

"Then who is it?" Bebe demanded to know. "You can't just say something like you want to tell people you two are dating but can't. Who is it? The only other Kevin I can think of is..."

She trailed off, brows furrowed.

"Kevin Stoley. Are you dating Kevin Stoley?"

Red's shoulders slumped and she accepted the inevitable.

"Ummm, yes," she admitted, waiting for Bebe to start mocking her for dating Kevin.

"Wow." Bebe pursed her lips. "Kevin Stoley."

The repugnance in Bebe's tone made Red's stomach twist. She had expected it, of course, but instead of making her ashamed, she felt angry.

"He's not that bad!" Red snapped. "Kevin is a sweet guy. He's creative and passionate about what he likes." Red pointed a finger into Bebe's collar bone, moving into her personal space as she spoke. "And he lent me all his 'FlashPoint' comics when the website I was reading them on gave my dad's laptop a virus. He's just as good of a boyfriend as Clyde is!"

Bebe held up her hands in defense. "I never said he wasn't."

Red narrowed her eyes incredulously, taking a step back.

Bebe fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Look, if you want to date him, cool, whatever. Why does it matter?"

Furrowing her brows, Red frowned. "You don't think it's weird on me for dating him? He's a nerd who likes Star Trek and wore a Spock cosplay for a week to school."

Bebe rolled her eyes. "Yeah? So?" She shrugged. "Clyde brought a jar of mosquitoes with him everywhere for two weeks. Pointy alien elf ears are nothing compared to that."

"Klingon." Red corrected automatically. "They're Klingon ears."

This time Bebe did roll her eyes, but, Red didn't feel any malcontent from it. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as she had always envisioned.

---

Kevin sighed as he trudged up the school steps. His cool lessons didn't get all that far before Craig can out of the kitchen with a glass of orange juice, eyed Kevin up and down again, then proclaimed he was a lost cause and Clyde was wasting his time.

Before Kevin could stop him, he'd grabbed Clyde and drug him against his will back to the couch to finish watching their video.

While Kevin did enjoy learning about the Moth Man, he couldn't help feel he wasted his time. He didn't learn a thing about being cool or how to fix his face, hair, or voice.

"Hey. Hey, Kevin."

He paused and looked over his shoulder to see Dougie rushing up to him.

"Oh, greetings, Dougie." He flashed him a Volcan Salute, which Dougie returned. Dougie vibrated with contagious excitement.

"Did you go see the movie this weekend?" He asked. "I did. I went with my mom and Butters. I liked the music and how the ships look. What did you like?"

Kevin's uplifted mood fell as he remembered what happened right after the movie.

"The lasers, I guess," He muttered, looking at his shoes. One of the laces was double knotted and the other wasn't. He'd have to fix that before class--like an uncool nerd.

A hand slipped around his hand, taking him from his thoughts.

"My favorite part was how the captain defeated the alien with the water and electricity," Red chirped, leaning against Kevin's side, nearly toppling him over with her greater size.

Dougie turned a shocked, wide-eyed face to Kevin. Kevin kept his own shocked, wide-eyed face fixed on Red.

What was she doing? Why was she holding his hand in front of everyone outside of the school? He could feel all the eyes of the other kids on them and hear their whispers.

"R-Red?" Kevin stammered. "You're holding my hand."

"Well, duh," she threw her hair over her shoulder, "we are dating."

A collective gasp came from all the students around them. Red turned a sharp glare towards them, and everyone spun around. Kevin half expected them to start whistling nonchalantly.

Dougie took a step back. He waved goodbye to Kevin before bolting off, leaving the two alone to talk.

"We are, but, you don't like..." he shook his head. "Aren't I too uncool?"

She nodded. "Yeah, you are, but it's ok now."

Kevin frowned and looked down at himself. Did something change since yesterday? Did he get super buff and handsome while he slept last night? Maybe he did go to a fantasy world last night and just didn't remember, but when he looked down, he didn't see anything different, except the little stain from the meatloaf last night on his stomach.

"It is?" Kevin asked. "Why?"

"Well, I just figured it was stupid to act like I did. It wasn't fair to you, either." Red explained, squeezing his hand. "Also, I told Bebe last night, and Bebe said she wanted to double date with you and Clyde, so you can make sure Clyde doesn't do something silly or embarrassing so it doesn't matter anymore. Bebe has my back, and because she does, so do all the other girls."

Kevin furrowed his brow. "I don't get it."

She smiled softly at him. "It's ok. You don't need to know how all the science works to enjoy Star Trek."

He still didn't fully get it but decided to employ his suspension of disbelief towards the inner workings of girl social structure.

"Oh, well, if that's ok with you, then it's ok with me." Kevin felt giddy. He could walk through the school halls hand in hand with his girlfriend. They could talk about science or Star Trek in the middle of recess.

He dared to give Red a kiss on the cheek. To his surprise, she blushed but didn't get mad at him. With a  laugh, Red began to pull him down the hallway.

#Revin week #revin #sp red #kevin stoley #craig tucker #Clyde Donovan #bebe stevens #one-shot

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Ok so I did the hcs of what OrangeJuiceVerse Stan and Kyle look like already (here) so now I gotta do the rest of the Star Seven

*Kenny- this guy is littttllllleeee like short king oh my god this poor mf grew up constantly malnourished and never grew taller than 5’5! I’ll write Kenny all across the board appearance wise but ojverse? He’s short. And he OWNS it!!! He’s also my king of fully climbing on everyone physical boundaries are not a thing with him (this is a problem when he meets Craig and Tweek) and he and Stan both have a penchant for hugging people but Kenny is the type to be like “watch if I run at Stan he’ll catch me” “wait no Kenny I’m holding coffee” *catches him* lmfao my beloved Disaster Duo. Kenny’s tiny ass is literally alllllways on Marj.

Sandy blond hair and the style changes CONSTANTLY he’s a MENACE with the scissors, but it’s usually on the long side and YES he grows a beard in his late 20s (this started as a bet with Stan to see who could grow the better one) he 100% braids it and puts glitter and flowers in it smh eccentric icon. Pretty light blue eyes, they look vaguely purple for a few days after he comes back from a death.

He dresses like a damn muppet half the time, and a lot of his clothes are stuff he made himself (artist slay) or found at a thrift store and altered, out here wearing shirts with vulgar sayings, weird clown pants, juicy sweatsuits, obnoxious Hawaiian shirts with leopard print leggings, like this man lives for looking like a weirdo. But the other half of the time he’s in jeans and t shirts, hoodies, and (also artist slay and literally me) so much of what he owns has some kind of paint or bleach stain. His go to “formal” attire is legitimately a floral suit with PRINCESS embroidered on the back.

*Marjorine- my tall goddess! She’s the third tallest of the 7 at 5’11 (Kenny is very into that) and loves to wear heels so she’s really out here towering over the peasants like the QUEEN she is lmao. She also dresses like a BARBIE I’m talkin the pastels that perfectly flatter her coloration, def some seersucker a-line dresses, MONOGRAMMED STUFF bruh they may be from assfucknowherecolorado but this lady dresses like she’s a pageant queen in the Deep South! It very much fits her as the baddest bitch in the mlm meeting (y’all keep her away from that shit frfr) she’s such a sweetie but she’s so damn susceptible to stuff like that oh noooo but then she winds up running the show 💀

She does indeed have the Eye Scar (blind in that eye she can’t legally drive rip) one eye is this pretty disney princess blue and the other is almost white but she looks SO fucking cool and the juxtaposition of her otherwise angelic features with a badass anime protagonist scar is KICKASS! Plussss since she dresses like fuckin Elle Woods but is taller than God just the BAD BITCH VIBES!!!

*CRAIG TUCKER MY DUDE!!! Ok so I believe I said that this mf is whole ass 6’4!!! “Yer a long boi ain’t ya” like bruh he’s so damn lanky whole ass string bean lmfao. I am an enjoyer of the Peruvian Crog hcs, so yep. Really dark black hair and grey eyes, he’s also like super hot??? I’m talking PERFECT skin, the most gorgeous chiseled face he deadass looks like a statue and women are all over him tryna flirt BUT!!! this mf is gayer than a mf picnic basket 😭

He’s seriously so cool looking but if you tell him that he’ll be like ?? It’s so funny bc Stan’s over here like “dude how do you wear a leather jacket without looking like a douchebag” and Craig’s like “idk?? I just do?” smh poor Stan he wants to look cool so bad and and Craig’s the only “cool guy” he knows but he’s not helpful at alllll.

He mostly dresses in dark colors, black, gray, navy, he’s like super hot but he is SUCH a loser!!! (I’m stealing this from my partner btw) one time he was just… walking around the apartment dressed as Spider-Man? And didn’t even acknowledge it? Like Tweek had a migraine and was bedridden and Craig fully just went up to him IN THE SPIDEY SUIT and handed him a jar of pickles “you should eat” Tweek was like “man WHAT are you doing dressed like that?!?” SMH he’s actually an icon

*TWEEK!!!!! Ok so Tweek (I’m projecting y’all know I love an artist character) he doesn’t own a single item of clothing that isn’t stained. And he mostly sticks to earth tones, a lot of green and brown, also let’s talk abt his skin. He has TERRIBLE skin! Cystic acne, he’s blotchy as shit, rosacea, got moles and freckles everywhere, acne on the left side of his chin from throwing up (when he’s in the drankin era) Kyle described him as scrunkly when they met lmfao like twerk is really just one of those little stray cats you see on the street. He’s honestly really cute tho

He’s LITTLE he’s Kenny’s height at 5’5 BUT!!! He’s literally so fuckin strong! Like out of him and crog? Tweek’s the jar opener. He has… actually kicked Stan’s ass at the gym (it was so unserious Stan was being angsty about a birthday and Ky was like “dude go spar Tweek or sum” and Stan has reservations bc he’s like a foot taller than Tweek and so much bigger and then Tweek kicked his ass!) smh they came home from the local planet fitness both smiling so hard and crog and ky were like TF?!?!? Like why are y’all beat up to hell

Tweek has very light blond hair, it’s technically curly but he pulls the hell out of it so it just kinda stands straight out, it literally feels like straw someone get this man some Fuckin conditioner

*Cartman! Ok I stand by him having heterochromia, he’s got one brown eye and one blue, totally thinks it makes him look “awesome and kewl” (it does lowkey) unfortunately he’s actually very attractive until he calls you a slur lmao. His features are literally perfect, he takes care of himself, skincare on point, LISTEN HE IS SO ABSURD about his cocktail of products it’s literally asinine

He’s around 5’9, and fat. Light brown hair that he keeps fairly short and ALWAYS immaculately styled. Like this guy cleans up NICE and u meet him for the first time and are thinking you’re meeting a very friendly lawyer type dude but then you shake his hand and he goes “what’s with the sword earrings, what? You just get off a dnd session?” Lmfao literally I cannot stress enough that he never grows out of being an asshole. He does MOSTLY stop with the truly offensive things though. Mostly. The Fuckwad Jar may have had something to do with it.

#bruhhhh #i am completely insane #out here once again w the #OrangeJuiceVerse #headcanons #this what the homies look like #south park #I am Kenny Kenny is me #also Marj kiss me rn #kenny mccormick #marjorine stotch #craig tucker #tweek tweak #eric cartman #these mfs

[tweekovan]

tweek!! 🥺

baby!! him

sweater weatherlove song by sara bareilles (creek song? creek song)clair de lune and the merry-go-round of life bc theyre my fav piano pieces and our talented king plays the pianothrough and through khai dreamsbe nice to me by the front bottoms because, again, im edgyelectric feel by mgmt because lil pikachu boy electrifying my heartcoffee jack stauber

#asks #txt

[paladin4theright]

Insomnia

Midnight always managed to sneak up on Tweek. He always went to bed with Craig and cuddled his husband until he fell asleep. As soon as he heard Craig’s little bits of snoring, though, Tweek would slide out of bed to begin cleaning house. Tweek rarely slept a full night so when he did, it was miraculous. No one could tell, though, because Tweek seemed to function on little to no sleep. He always had things to take care of and a husband to keep happy. He worried that if his house got too messy it would smell or if he had enough coffee beans for his homemade blends at the Coffee House. Was Pete Thelman happy working with him and was Craig really enjoying being his husband? Tweek’s left eye twitched at all the worrisome thoughts floating through his mind. He sighed, pushing the steam mop across their tiled kitchen floor. A clean house is a happy house, he thought. It didn’t help either that Tweek was a self proclaimed germaphobe. The last thing he needed in his house were the germs that gave people Super AIDS or anything else. Tweek began to scrub a little faster, gritting his teeth.

At some point, Craig had a vivid dream. As soon as he woke up that dream vanished back into whatever dream vault forgotten dreams were stashed away in. He moved his arm across the bed to find the Tweek was missing and he let out a sigh. His baby wasn’t able to fall asleep again. He pulled the blankets off of him and crawled out of bed. He rubbed his eyes as he left the bedroom and looked for his husband. He yawned while walking down the hallway and frowned when he saw Tweek cleaning the kitchen. “Honey.” He said in a monotone voice. When he was tired, his voice would drone like it used to during childhood. “What are you doing?”

“Mopping,” was the soft response Tweek gave. He looked up from the floor and smiled for his husband. “I went out and bought a sparkle and shine cleaner.” He pointed to the floor. It did, in fact, sparkle and shine. He tilted his head as he watched Craig, remembering that not too terribly long ago he had left the sleeping lump of his husband curled against a pillow on their bed. “What are you doing awake?” Tweek inquired. “You don’t do well when you don’t get a full eight hours.”

Letting out another yawn, Craig acknowledged the sparkly floor with a nod. “It does look nice.” He grumbled. His eyes narrowed from the light in the kitchen as he tried not to look at it. “I woke up…had a dream but I can’t remember it now.” He mumbled again in his monotone voice. “I noticed you were gone… just checking up on you.” He said gently. He remembers the warmth of Tweek’s back pressed against his chest and missed it.

Tweek leaned the mop up against the island counter. He walked up to Craig, placed his hands on his much taller husband’s chest and leaned in to kiss Craig’s sternum. He rubbed his hands up and down Craig’s pecs. “Okay, sleepyhead.” His voice was soft. “Let’s get you back to bed. I’ll cuddle with you.” He offered.

Groaning like a child, Craig pouted as he put his large hands to Tweek’s hips. “But you won’t fall asleep. How can I help?” He asked gently as he watched Tweek with sleepy blue eyes. It was a little chilly in the house, Craig noticed. He was only wearing house pants. Somehow Tweek made him so much warmer. Craig wrapped his arms around his smaller husband and brought him close against his bare chest.

A smile crept over Tweek’s thin lips. He reached up to place a gentle hand to Craig’s cheek. He ran his thumb over the taller man’s soft, stubble covered face. “I’ll try to fall asleep with you. How’s that?” Tweek loved a sleepy, whiny Craig. He thought he was adorable and he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell to the inner child that always showed himself in Craig’s tired state. “Would that make you feel better?”

Craig nodded. He nuzzled into Tweek’s hand before dropping down to snuggle into the wild blonde hair on the crown of Tweek’s head. “I love you.” Craig grumbled. His eyes were closed and his dark lashes rested like crescents against tan skin. He pulled away from Tweek and opened his lids halfway to look down at his husband. “You are my favorite.”

“I love you and you’re mine, Starshine.” Tweek said softly. He’d moved his hand from Craig’s face to lightly pat his bare chest. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” Tweek grabbed hold of Craig’s left hand and moved around him so he could lead his husband back to their shared bedroom. They moved sleepily through the living room, a hallway, and past a bathroom to finally find themselves at their bedroom door. Tweek opened it and walked his tired husband to the tall, king sized bed. The bed was tall enough that Tweek would have to climb into bed.

Craig had no problem just plopping right into bed. He put his hands to Tweek’s thin arms and man handled him onto the bed. He pulled Tweek face first into his chest. “Mine.” He mumbled, already half asleep as his head hit the pillow. “Thank you.”

An arm wrapped around Craig’s stomach as Tweek kissed his husband’s bare chest. He couldn’t help but smile to Craig’s possessiveness. He felt warm, loved and comfortable. Tweek closed his eyes and nuzzled as closely as he could to the man he called his own. He could already feel himself drifting off to sleep.

#south park #sp creek #south park creek #sp craig #sp tweek #south park craig #south park tweek #craig tucker #tweek tweak #craigxtweek #craig x tweek #south park craig tucker #south park tweek tweak #sp craig tucker #sp tweek tweak #revenge au