#cringy af and not as funny as the last one but let me have thus | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

risingphoenix87 · 5 years

Text

Awesomely bad songs? I think not... (Reposted from February with edits

Hey kids! Your Auntie Phoenix is bored, and rather than something constructive, I thought I’d kill my time with this. So I’ve been rewatching some of those old VH-1 lists I used to watch in my teen years (many…eons ago). And one such list was one they compiled with the now-defunct Blender Magazine of the 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever.

Yeah…there are a handful of actually bad songs on this list and then…yeah, let me just give you my thoughts.

(You can watch the video here if you care to- https://youtu.be/pMBSGFOqiAI)

50. Corey Hart - I Wear My Sunglasses at Night: It’s…fine. It’s kind of weird how the Z-list commentators just focused on the concept of wearing sunglasses at night…not actually proving this song is bad.

49. Puff Daddy f/ Faith Evans & 112 - I’ll Be Missing You: This is…just uncomfortable. Yeah, he took a creepy-as-fuck stalker song and turned it into a loving tribute to a friend. And they actually had the gall to say the sample was more shameless than Vanilla Ice (oh, we’ll get to HIM later).

48. Michael Bolton - Can I Touch You There: It’s fine. Not my thing, but it’s okay.

(by the way, the bald commentator guy is trying waaaayyy too much to sound like Lewis Black…except he’s not funny)

47. Bobby Brown w/Whitney Houston - Something in Common: Yeah, it’s…uncomfortable.

46. Spin Doctors - Two Princes: Oh, step off, you music snobs! This song is fun!

45. Ruben Studdard - I’m Sorry: I remember this song being on the radio all the time when I was in high school; I never thought it was a bad song. I wonder what happened to him…

44. Billy Joel - We Didn’t Start The Fire: What are these people smoking?

(yeah, the cola wars line wasn’t what made him lose it, smartass)

43. Master P feat. Silkk, Fiend, Mia-x & Mystikal - Make Em Say Uhh: Yeah…not good…that sound is the one I make when I’m getting PMS boob pain.

42. Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe: Yes, this song sucks.

41. JC Chasez - Some Girls (Dance with Women): Yeah, this song is trash.

40. 4 Non Blondes - What’s Up: This song is GRATING.

39. Snow - Informer: More trash.

38. Ja Rule - Mesmerize: None of them actually proved this song was bad (also funny that the announcer called Ja Rule “wussy,” like she’d ever say that to his face and not clutch her purse, running to the other side of the street). And to the Karen who made cracks about Ashanti swooning over the lyric “I got a fetish for fucking you with your skirt off...” um, some girls and fems are into that...not naming names...

37. Bette Midler - From a Distance: Ms. Midler’s music isn’t for me…but it’s fine…and don’t most theists consider God watching them a comforting thought rather than a voyeuristic one?

36. Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up: Again, it’s fine. A nice summer song.

35. Don Johnson - Heartbeat: It’s nothing that bad. It’s kind of the ‘80s embodied in a song (esp. with the music video).

34. Crazytown - Butterfly: This song is awful…and I adore it.

33. Jennifer Lopez - Jenny from the Block: All these people did was whinge about how dishonest the song was. I’m not honestly bothered by that; I don’t care that Jennifer Lopez doesn’t bring old friends from the Bronx to her mansions or yachts (because, apparently unlike these commentators, I’m not a child who lives with her head up her own ass). The song is fun enough with a good beat.

32. Mr. Mister - Broken Wings: Another classic piece of the ‘80s. Also funny how they whine about this being a stalker song after sucking off The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” near the top of the hour.

31. R. Kelly - You Remind Me of Something: I agree. #MuteRKelly

30. Nelly - Pimp Juice: Not my thing; Nelly has better songs than this (although the comments are fucking cringy).

29. Meatloaf - I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t do That): Again, I ask, WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE SMOKING???!! And...he DOES say what he won’t do for love; the way his lover made him feel.

28. Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up: This song was bad before meme culture bled it dry.

27. Wreckx-N-Effect - Rump Shaker: Not for me.

26. Bryan Adams - The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me is You: This song sounds like a pick-up line Will Smith would say on Fresh-Prince; Bryan Adams is better than this.

25. Michael Jackson - You Rock My World: It’s honestly fine, but Michael Jackson has done better.

24. Phil Collins - Sussudio: Same; not Phi Collins’ best, but not bad.

23. Sisqo - The Thong Song: Another guilty pleasure (though, TBH, the comments here were kinda funny).

22. Lionel Richie - Dancing on the Ceiling: Not great, but the comments about his no-talent brat of a daughter are already dated AF (does anyone even remember her?).

21. Rembrandts - I’ll Be There For You: It’s from a TV show…so it’s bad? Plenty of TV theme songs are fun to listen to (this one included, and I don’t think I’ve seen more than two episodes of the show).

Also, Gen X “cynicism is good/happiness is for babies” attitude is played out (it was played out in 2004, too; we get it, y’all are bitter because no one knows who you are).

20. Toby Keith - Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue: Yeah, this song is jingoistic, warmongering crap.

19. Chicago - You’re the Inspiration: It’s nice enough. These damn music snobs.

18. Hammer - Pumps and a Bump: Not good…not as bad as the abomination that was Hammerman, but…not good.

17. Right Said Fred - I’m Too Sexy: It’s supposed to be a cheesy novelty song.

16. Europe - The Final Countdown: That synth line is great, and the song is classic. These damn music snobs.

15. Crash Test Dummies - Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm: WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE…oh, forget it. Point is this is a great song and they in no way proved it was bad. They just bitched about the chorus (how about analyzing the lyrics, since y’all are great music experts).

14. Will Smith - Will2K: Again, didn’t prove the song was bad. Just whined that Will Smith has an ego and it sampled a Clash song. Um…grow the fuck up maybe? (Seriously, the fact that people get so butthurt over celebrities having an ego, and seemingly don’t get that sampling is a thing in rap) I actually only heard the song for the first time a few months ago, and it’s BOMB.

13. Aqua - Barbie Girl: Congrats, one of the few actually bad songs on the list.

12. New Kids on the block - Hangin’ Tough: Teenage boys pretending to be badass? Alert the media. It’s fun, has a nostalgic feel.

11. Gerardo - Rico Suave: Yeah, not good (also, Weird Al did do a parody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7zJdwEsWmU; pretty hilarious).

10. Huey Lewis & the News - Heart of Rock-n-Roll: This song is fun, and the fact that it was anywhere near the top 10 is a fucking joke.

9. Bobby McFerrin - Don’t Worry Be Happy: In fairness, Bobby McFerrin got sick of this song to the point of not performing it anymore.

(The commentators are pretty annoying bitching about a cappella music, a lot of which is really good)

8. Ricky Martin - She Bangs: Yeah, this song isn’t great…but Top 10 worst songs-bad? No…

7. Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time: This song is fun and has a good beat. Buncha stick-in-the-mud…

6. Deep Blue Something - Breakfast at Tiffany’s: Oh…no. You don’t touch this song! (Yes, the song is unenthusiastic. That’s the entire point; it’s about a couple who has no basis for their relationship except their love of this one movie, and thus the relationship isn’t strong enough to last).

5. Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby: Yay, you got another actually bad song for the list!

4. Limp Bizkit - Rollin’: Yeah, the lyrics are shit and the song is bad…and I listen to it at least twice a week. It’s a major guilty pleasure (and fun to listen to when riding a scooter cart at the store).

3. Wang Chung - Everybody Have Fun Tonight: Another fun song; y’all have no taste.

2. Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart: Okay, you found another actually bad song.

1. Starship - We Built This City: WTF??? This is a good song!

So…a list with only a handful of actually bad songs…yeah.

Thank you!

#vh1 #2000s vh1 #2000s tv

0 notes