The One Brain Cell Cullen Kids: *do anything*
The One Brain Cell Cullen Kids: *do anything*
What if our boy Eddie decided to audition for the high school play in order to impress his lady love without first reading which play he was auditioning for? He uses a monologue from Romeo and Juliet and does super well (cause he’s dramatic and angsty as shit) and the whole Cullen family waits with bated unnecessary breath for the cast list to come out and when it does…
Ta-da, Edward is cast as the lead in Peter Pan and must now sing about how he will never grow up while Bella loses her shit in the audience at every single matinee.
If I saw what I thought was an immortal child within 100 miles of the vampire known for his self control and smart decisions, Carlisle Cullen, I would go to him for clarification or an explanation before running straight to the Volturi.
Like RIP to Irena but I’m different.
Rosalie Hale moodboard
Author’s note: I know I’ve been gone for almost two months or so but I’ve literally had to move my entire life across the world to another continent I’d never stepped foot on until now. To celebrate breaking my leave of absence, here’s an extended first chapter of the Twilight universe fic I mentioned earlier. I began writing this three or four years ago and I haven’t changed any of the content so I’m not completely happy with the style but I have a lot of plans for this story and can’t wait to develop it into what is possibly a collection of fanfics.
Basically, this story takes place in the Twilight universe pre-Bella moving to Forks (though that will come up very soon) when a newborn vampire named Maggie who is a young teenager stumbles across the Cullen Clan. There’s nothing romantic or sexual in the plot (yet, hehe but I’ve been waiting for YEARS to set this character up with one of the Denali girls) and it’s more focused on the family bonding esp. the mother-daughter relationship between the main character and Esme.
Oh, also, new Nat fic coming out soon.
Two things ran through Maggie’s mind when she came across the house in the woods. Number one: She was scared that she would catch someone’s scent and so she planned to turn around and run. Number two: She couldn’t stop wondering what kind of job the owner of the house had. Were they an heir to a family company? A part of the mafia? Lottery winner? But the longer she stayed to admire the architecture of the serene, modern home with the perfect location in the middle of the woods, she began to realize that its residents weren’t exactly normal people.
She flinched when her eyes landed on what could only be human hair. Her body automatically engaged itself to pounce although in her mind she begged that she’d have the strength to pull away and send herself running in the opposite direction. However, she found that she didn’t need to. Even though she had recently obtained perfect sight, she rubbed her eyes as if she were in a trance before taking another look at the woman inside the house. She had the most beautiful and voluptuous brunette curls that framed her kind face so well and a soft smile that seemed to soothe Maggie’s nerves even while she was scrambling to figure out what was going on.
The problem was that there was no smell. There was absolutely no scent of blood.
Imagine if the Cullens had a podcast. Like they say fuck it and tell the world they’re vamps and each podcast is them telling stories with different themes or different family members.
Ep #1: How Each Member Joined the Fam
Ep #2: Pros and Cons of being a Vampire/Common misconceptions
Ep #3: How to Cope With Your Emo Son and His Angst ft. Esme and Carlisle
Ep #4: What to do When Your Daughter Starts Dating a Vampire ft. Chief Charlie Swan
Ep #5: How to Outrun the Volturi hosted by Emmett and Jasper.
Ep #6: What it’s Like to Be a Hybrid ft. Carlie (resume) and Nahuel.
The Volturi can’t do shit because the fandom is W I L D and would burn down Volterra if they killed the Cullens.
Alice showing up to the place she knows she’s meeting jasper for the first time wearing this:
I thought I was escaping my yearly twilight re hyperfixation but I was wrong
Imagine thinking any of the cullens are cishets? Wild
Hi! This is a bit vague, so I hope you enjoy what I came up with :)
Dating Edward was convenience at its finest. Not a lot of people knew sign language at school, and it was annoying to type or write out what you wanted to say all of the time. Even worse, it was easy for other people to ignore you— all they had to do was turn their head. Your parents were slightly better, but it was frustrating to have to wave like a maniac or bang on something to get their attention, just so you could tell them the washer’s leaking, or that they have to turn the internet modum back on in order for the wifi to work. As you got older, they stopped learning sign language. In your small town, you became trapped by your own limited ASL vocabulary, and the short attention span of others. Some days you felt invisible, like if you went another hour without someone making eye contact that you would actually disappear.
That changed when the Cullen family moved to your town. Your chemistry teacher had to ask Edward if he was comfortable with the material, as asking you questions was kind of difficult. He assured her he would be fine, and you looked down. You had a 98 in the class, there was no reason you couldn’t help him if he asked.
At first, sharing a desk with Edward seemed worse than being alone at the back. You needed somewhere to plug in your laptop, after all. For the first few days, he sat on the edge of his seat and wouldn’t look at you. Then he was gone for a week. You stewed for the first few days, feeling somehow that he was avoiding you. Over the weekend you decided to take the high road, and you printed your class notes and brought them for him on Monday.
You got to class first, leaving the notes on his side of the desk. You opened your laptop and began the login process as he sat down. You heard him flip through the notes.
“Thank you,” he said. You looked over, shrugging to let him know it wasn’t a big deal.
“I don’t think I introduced myself. I’m Edward Cullen.”
You opened a document and typed your name to show him.
“Do you know ASL?” he asked. You nodded. And then he began to sign, and your jaw dropped. Only the bell ringing snapped you back to attention.
There was partner work today, a lab taken from the textbook. You put away your laptop and took out a notebook as the teacher passed around the materials and the lab instructions.
“Just do your best, you two,” the teacher said, setting down the pages.
“Oh, we’ll be fine, thank you.” Edward assured her, and then turned to give you a wink.
After that, you two slowly became inseparable. Edward was the perfect conversation partner: even when you didn’t know all of the signs, he knew what you meant. And he always waited for you to type or write, if that was what you wanted. He ended up teaching you different signs, and he started talking while signing to help. He claimed that he’d taken courses for it at his old school. You weren’t sure you believed that.
Over time, it felt like you were in sync. To a creepy extent: you’d be halfway through signing out something, and he would answer your question before it even made sense. That, in combination with your general observations of him (cool skin, eyes changing, never eating, looking perfect) lead you to believe something wasn’t quite right. It was during a heated discussion on Chaucer that it all came out. You both were getting worked up, your mind speeding like a train, but hampered by your hands. You had neither your laptop nor a notebook, and your phone was on 4%. Edward started answering your thoughts instead of your hands. Neither of you noticed for almost two minutes, and then you realized. And, reading your thoughts, he realized too.
He told you everything that night, sneaking into your room. It was perfect: you got to lie in bed, and he answered whatever questions you brought to your mind. You actually cried: for the first time, you could have a long conversation without all the effort.
Edward was shocked by how well you took everything, but he could read from your mind that amid all of the weirdness of his life, his gift was truly a gift to you.
why can I see Emmett getting super into the Shane Dawson documentaries and deciding to do some of his own on the Cullen family like
“And here we have Edward Cullen, who likes to portray himself as a mysterious, worldly dude when in actuality many believe him to simply be a moody emo little bitch boy-“
*camera cracks, screen goes dark*
Every attempt Emmett makes after that ends up with his phone or camera getting smashed to pieces.
I still get major chills watching the fight scene in Breaking Dawn pt. 2 and I honestly think I’ll get them forever.