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#cullen family


So it’s 2:30am and I’m so tired but also really ill and can’t breathe properly and just woke up from a dream where Bella is ill and was in a fight with Alice and Alice said “next time, be careful about who you give your khaki to” then got into bed with Bella so her feet were near Bella’s head and her head was near Bella’s feet then Bella rolled over and went back to sleep…

I don’t know what this means and I need answers!

Are Bella and Alice together?

Were they at Bella’s house or the Cullen’s?

Is khaki a metaphor for something?!


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Ellen show with Scarlett Johansson part three is next :)

Part 1 here

Part 2 here

Three months later


The amount of time that had passed since Maggie was first welcomed into their home was usually a blink of an eye for most people. Humans could always be counted on to say, “Wow, summer went by so fast,” or “I can’t believe it’s the start of a new school year already” this time of year as September was about to roll in and kids were preparing to head back to classes. Parents were snapping shots of their kids on the first day, much to many students’s dismay (especially the older ones which were becoming way too cool for such childish things now), and incessantly crying about how the little ones grew up so fast and that they would freeze time if they could.

For the Cullens, however, it should have felt even quicker; less memorable considering the fact that each of the “kids” had experienced several dozen first days of school but this one was definitely worth pulling out all of the stops for.

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Author’s notes at the end :) Part 1 here


“Is she really asleep?” Esme immediately went into concerned mother bear mode and was crouched over the strangely fragile looking vampire. Just a second ago she had been completely fine but now she appeared to have fainted if that were even possible.

“She is,” Edward confirmed.

“A vampire sleeping? That isn’t possible,” Alice shook her head.

“Well, this is certainly the first case I’ve ever dealt with,” Carlisle had ran upstairs to his room and was instantly back with a small flashlight in his hand. He proceeded to examine the whites of her eyes behind her stubbornly shut eyelids and frowned upon his examination.

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Author’s note: I know I’ve been gone for almost two months or so but I’ve literally had to move my entire life across the world to another continent I’d never stepped foot on until now. To celebrate breaking my leave of absence, here’s an extended first chapter of the Twilight universe fic I mentioned earlier. I began writing this three or four years ago and I haven’t changed any of the content so I’m not completely happy with the style but I have a lot of plans for this story and can’t wait to develop it into what is possibly a collection of fanfics.

Basically, this story takes place in the Twilight universe pre-Bella moving to Forks (though that will come up very soon) when a newborn vampire named Maggie who is a young teenager stumbles across the Cullen Clan. There’s nothing romantic or sexual in the plot (yet, hehe but I’ve been waiting for YEARS to set this character up with one of the Denali girls) and it’s more focused on the family bonding esp. the mother-daughter relationship between the main character and Esme. 

Oh, also, new Nat fic coming out soon. 


Two things ran through Maggie’s mind when she came across the house in the woods. Number one: She was scared that she would catch someone’s scent and so she planned to turn around and run. Number two: She couldn’t stop wondering what kind of job the owner of the house had. Were they an heir to a family company? A part of the mafia? Lottery winner? But the longer she stayed to admire the architecture of the serene, modern home with the perfect location in the middle of the woods, she began to realize that its residents weren’t exactly normal people.

She flinched when her eyes landed on what could only be human hair. Her body automatically engaged itself to pounce although in her mind she begged that she’d have the strength to pull away and send herself running in the opposite direction. However, she found that she didn’t need to. Even though she had recently obtained perfect sight, she rubbed her eyes as if she were in a trance before taking another look at the woman inside the house. She had the most beautiful and voluptuous brunette curls that framed her kind face so well and a soft smile that seemed to soothe Maggie’s nerves even while she was scrambling to figure out what was going on.

The problem was that there was no smell. There was absolutely no scent of blood.

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cullen’s as a woman at the nail salon i seen today:

emmett: i want my toes and fingers to be pink.

alice: *throwing the colour sheets all over the place*

jasper: talking on the phone and making hand signs while the nail lady is asking her a question.

edward: not smiling back.

carlisle: playing with the massage chair.

rosalie: talking really loud, practically yelling.

esme: getting upset because the colour didn’t turn out right on her skin and blaming the employee.

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Multiracial Cullens

Imagine how great it would’ve been if we had gotten a multiracial Cullen clan for the movies like Catherine Hardwicke wanted.

How I see it playing out:

Carlisle (Alain Washnevsky)


Esme (Beyoncé)


Jasper (Diego Boneta)


Rosalie (Eiza Gonzalez)


Emmett (Michael B. Jordan)


Alice (Fan Bingbing)


Edward (Dayo Okeniyi)

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reasons why the cullens have had to leave town suddenly

  • one time rosalie slapped emmett so hard his head spun around in the cafeteria
  • alice jumped down the entire flight of stairs causing a small earth quack
  • rosalie tripped edward once, and he landed so hard he broke the floor
  • bella and emmett did back flips off of the school roof
  • jasper lifted their entire fucking car because his pen rolled under it and he couldn’t reach it
  • bella straight up jumped off a bridge for $3 and a harmonica
  • thirteen people saw it, and instead of playing dead, she got up and walked away
  • edward wrote down what someone was thinking, while they were right next to him
  • and they were like
  • “dude wtf how did u know that”
  • and because he’s super awkward he just kinda said
  • “i can read minds”
  • by their next block, everyone in school knew about it
  • emmett and alice arm wrestled in a park, and he took her whole fucking arm off
  • like four families watched it happen
  • esme walked into a wall in a store and her face made a hole
  • all because she was reading a text from carlisle saying they needed to be extra careful
  • jasper and emmett thought it’d be funny to drop kick bella into the air like a fucking soccer ball
  • she landed across town
  • and a huge crater was left in the middle of a busy road
  • bella one time forgot to check herself in the mirror before leaving the house after hunting
  • she smiled at several shop keepers with a bloody mouth
  • jasper wanted to see how many people he could lift
  • so he got a bunch of students to sit on a table
  • and he lifted like twenty four of them
  • it wasn’t his turn with the brain cell that day obviously
  • one time emmett told someone he was a vampire for fun
  • but when they didn’t believe him he just had to prove it
  • that was the last time they were ever in that town
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Random Twilight Rants (RTR) #1 Papercut (NM)

So, I’m rewatching the twilight movies (first three only bc a) I don’t own copies of the other 2 and b) the other two are really not worth watching) since I’ve got literally nothing better to do in the evenings and it’s either that or Dirty Dancing for the fifth(?) time (if Netflix had Pretty Woman I’d watch that instead, but they don’t. At least not here).

And since I’ve got nothing better to do and I thought something about that scene with the papercut was weird in NM, I watched it at half the speed. Then at quarter the speed. And then another time at 1/8 the speed for good measure. And I noticed something.

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How specific are Jasper’s feelings?

I mean, he could sense Bella’s guilt about putting them in danger, acutely enough that he knew she felt unworthy.

That’s more than just like Happy or Sad or Irked or Worried. That’s borderline mind-reading!

So like… can he sense someone’s worried they won’t make it to the bathroom when the diarrhea hits?

Can he feel when someone’s thirsty for the steamy book they read last night?

Can he feel human hunger specifically for a Big Mac?

Can he feel that “aaaah” when someone cracks their entire back in one go?

Can he feel PMS?

This is important to me for some reason and I want to know.

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  • Modernity makes being a newborn easier and harder
  • The vampiric instincts are harder to control, since humans are everywhere
  • Mistakes are also more severe, due to technology (security cameras, more thorough police investigations, etc)
  • The Cullen family would definitely move somewhere very isolated to help you with the first few years, which are the hardest
  • The bonus of modernity is that you can still feel connected to the world through TV and the internet
  • You can help Esme choose furniture online, and take part in Alice’s online shopping
  • In the first few weeks, you spend a lot of time with Rosalie and Jasper
  • Jasper helps you learn how to control your emotions
  • Rosalie is a good enough fighter to defend herself if you get out of control, and she accompanies you when you go hunting
  • Edward and Alice are often on the periphery, warning the others when you might get out of control
  • You don’t like Edward at all for the first few months
  • Esme is a very soothing influence on you after the first few hectic weeks
  • She helps you learn how to act more human and slow down your actions through painting and gardening
  • Carlisle is almost like a step-father
  • You know he means well, but his moral lectures rub you the wrong way sometimes
  • It takes a little while to open up and feel comfortable around him, especially since he seems so perfect
  • Emmett was never truly afraid of you, but after a few months he slowly shows you the fun side to your new life, teaching you all of the fun goofy stuff you can do like endlessly scuba dive and play star wars with trees (Esme scolds you two, but she is happy to see you having fun)
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Cullens and History

Can you imagine illustrated kids books where younger and human versions of the Cullens wittiness wars/events during their human years? E.g. little Carlisle and the English Civil war or little Edward on the Titanic. They also meet famous people who where at these events. All of them are somewhat shaken by the war/event.

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Can you do a Paul/reader where the Cullen’s adopted a human and Paul imprints on them

“We just need pickles and ice cream,” Esme said, running down the list.

“I’ll go pick out the ice cream,” you said. Esme smiled at you knowingly. You always got to pick out the ‘family’ ice cream, since you were the only one in the family who ate it.

The Cullen family had adopted you when you were about 6 years old. You were technically Esme’s great great grandniece. Alice had seen your family reject you enough to consider burning you at the stake at the back of the farm, and Carlisle and Esme had gone to snatch you up while your father had left to buy the gasoline.

You had a tricky gift which made blending in quite difficult. Instead of hearing what people said, you heard what they meant. This was fine when people said what they meant, but that wasn’t always the case. As you got older, Edward and Rosalie had helped you to identify when you were hearing with your power and when you were hearing normally.

You located the ice cream shelves and stood nearby, waiting for the group of boys to choose their ice cream and leave.

“Hurry up Paul! Someone’s waiting,” said one boy.

The glass was so frosted over you couldn’t see him until he closed the door, a tub of chocolate in his hands.

The boy couldn’t be too much older than you, but you realized he had to be one of the boy in the Pack. You’d been instructed to steer clear of them by Edward, since the Pack was already upset that Bella would soon be changed.

The boy, Paul, as someone called him, just stared at you.

“Dude,” someone elbowed him. “Dude, no, seriously? No. Don’t joke like that, Paul.” said one of the other boys. You decided you didn’t want ice cream anymore and quickly retreated towards the condiments aisle. You turned the corner, spotting your adoptive mother, when someone grabbed your wrist. Esme’s eyes narrowed. You turned to find Paul holding on to you.

“Please unhand Y/N,” Esme said, approaching the pair of you.

“Y/N isn’t safe with you,” Paul said, his grip not loosening despite your protests. People were starting to stare.

“This is not the place to sort this out,” Esme said levelly, “and you’re hurting Y/N.”

Paul released you quickly and glanced around.

“When can we… sort this out?”

“Tonight, at our house. You can bring who you want, although I’d prefer you brought Sam with you.” Esme said, wrapping an arm around you.

Paul looked back to you, biting his lip as he looked at you standing comfortably in the embrace of a vampire. Well, now he knew how Jacob felt when Bella hung around the Cullen house. Half of him wanted to pull you to safety, but the other half of him could see how scared you were of him.

“Tonight then,” he said, nodding to you before Jared pulled him away so they could pay and leave.

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