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are you ever like adjacent to a community on here and then gone for a couple months and then you happen to just casually check in on things and half of the blogs are either deactivated or just abandoned and you have no idea why and you just kind of feel like you escaped a country right before a terrible war and are slow motion walking through the battlefield looking at all the bodies laying in the grass bc i sure feel that way that rn

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aye - Cruel World

oh cruel world 

 will you knock me down 

til im begging on my knees

and oh beautiful world 

will you push me til im soaring with the stars?

til im flying with the birds

let me know if i have what it takes

push me to the point my heart breaks and aches 

remind me what im doing this for 

let me go on and fight for more and more 

and when i drift away when i lose my way 

my body starts to decay 

my body starts to decay 

and i put cigarettes in the ash tray

everything will be okay 

let me know if i have what it takes 

push me to the point my heart breaks and aches 

remind me what im doing this for 

let me go on and fight for more and more

when i stand in agony 

absently 

and my thoughts turn bitter and angry 

send the Calvary to my balcony

free me from my insanity 

and even though i hurt and i hurt

i will always be a dreamer at heart 

and even though weve drifted apart

im still a dreamer 

a dreamer with a heavy heart 

let me know i have what it takes 

push me to the point my heart breaks and aches 

remind me what im doing this for 

let me go on and fight for more and more 

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and it’s not unusual. The gut wrenching feeling, the bitter bile in my throat, lumping and blocking out air, drops of cold tear in lieu of pushing out this vile sensation in me. I feel sick. It’s not unusual at all.

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Kezdem úgy érezni, hogy egy igazi túlélő vagyok. Ráadásul, lassan egy Oszkár is kijárna a nagyszerű alakításomért, amiért a környezetem még csak nem is gyanakszik.

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Haha, wouldn’t it be weird if I shaved my head and did one of those cool under cut looking things, with the top staying curly and looooong and the sides maybe shaved?

Jk haha!

Unless….. ……….. 👀

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