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#dane
kaereth · 8 months
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tfw your gf is literally just kitty
(catch me posting my ocs again after 700 years hello everyone I still think about these two daily)
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mrwavellswaps · 10 months
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The Homo-Bomb - Prologue
There was a strong masculine scent in the air. The scent of hard work and passion in the form of sweat wafting through the air. The scent was of course accompanied by the sounds of weights clanging and men grunting as they pushed their muscles to the limits in the hopes they would grow even bigger. It was the sound and smell of almost every gym on the planet. This one in particular however was placed in the middle of a small town by the name of Bellmare.
Just like all the other gyms, it was jam-packed with either massive muscle hunks or men working to become just as huge as them. Amongst these men however was a particularly powerful warlock of whom many myths had spread about. And yet he blended in flawlessly. It was no wonder considering he looked just as much like a meathead as half the guys there. Wearing a fitted tank top and shorts. Owning huge bulging muscles lined with thick veins. Not to mention his handsome jockish face complimented by a short beard. Most guys didn’t even think twice when they saw him bench pressing insane amounts of weight like the stud he was. Little did they know they were in the presence of a borderline god…
Of course Wavell knew he could workout at home in the huge gym he whipped up for himself and Dane back at the mansion but blending into the human world was so much fun sometimes. Even more so when he got to act like a complete meathead which wasn’t hard when using the form of Kyle Wavell, his younger and hunkier looking alter ego. Of course he adored using the form he was most well known for, the mature silver fox suit wearing daddy that was Chris Wavell, but just getting to let loose as a young hunk from time to time was such a pleasure. Getting to use all the physical strength that Kyle’s form granted him just made him feel powerful in a way other than just his unmatched magical might. And he fucking loved it!
He must’ve been in the gym for at least an hour getting a pump for both his back and chest. The feeling of power surging through him with every exercise was addictive. Feeling his pecs swell with every press, every push up. Being Kyle sort of felt like a guilty pleasure after always being such a smart well dressed gentleman in his usual form. Getting to act like a dumb jock who’s only purpose in life was to get swole as fuck. It was pretty easy to do so since his personality usually shifted a little to match whichever form he was using. And right now Mr Wavell was a gym obsessed meathead!
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After finishing his final exercise, Wavell sat on one of the benches and looked around the gym. There were studs as far as the eyes could see. Some lifting weights, some using machines and others using the multitude of other equipment provided to help sculpt their bodies. The pervy Warlock couldn’t help but eye them up. His eyes running up and down each and every hunk. Analysing the curves and contours of their muscles. Judging which one guy had the biggest arms, which one had the biggest chest and of course which one had the fattest ass. Yet as he continued to scan over all the delicious eye candy, Wavell couldn’t help but sigh. He could tell with nothing but a glance that almost every man in this gym was straight. It was a shame, he thought. All that masculinity not getting a chance to be worshiped by other men. In other words, a total waste in Wavell’s eyes…
For a moment Wavell had considered conducting some magical ‘experiments’ on some of these hunks. Perhaps making them more open to the idea of letting other men grope their bodies or even just body swapping a few of them with skinny gays that wished to be bigger. Just then however, he remembered a certain project he’d been working on over the last few months. A powerful spell to be precise. “Yessss… this could be the perfect opportunity to test it…” Wavell thought to himself.
The blond meathead stood up with a stretch, smirking as the scent of his sweaty pits invaded his nose. He’d never get tired of the post workout stench this hulking body exuded. It was a smell that screamed raw masculinity and it mixed in well with the sweaty aroma of the gym. Wavell took one last look around at all the other hunks, grinning to himself knowing they had absolutely zero idea about what was going to happen. With that he swiped up his things and sauntered out of the gym, giving the man at the desk a nod as he passed, with an air of confidence surrounding him that bordered on cockiness. “Fuck… I need to use this body more often.” Wavell murmured to himself before vanishing in a twister of purple smoke.
———
Meanwhile, as Wavell had been lifting weights to his heart's content, Dane had decided to stay at the mansion so he could whip up the two of them a nice meal to eat. Of course he knew Wavell could probably just magic a meal up for them but there was just a certain amount of satisfaction they got out of doing it themselves. He’d been standing in the kitchen wearing nothing but a jockstrap and an apron. Since he could only channel Wavell’s power when wearing just the jockstrap, he’d kinda gotten used to it.
Chicken and Chorizo Risotto he decided. It was a dish he’d always loved and even now after becoming a new man thanks to his boyfriend, he still loved it! He cooked up the chicken first before moving onto the chorizo. The smell of sizzling meat filling the air before he put the rice on with it. As it cooked he tossed a few more ingredients into his saucepan before finally stirring everything together into a delicious looking Risotto.
Wavell still hadn’t arrived home by this point. Typical. Whenever Wavell goes to gym as Kyle he spends ages immersing himself there. With a sigh Dane covered the saucepan with a lid to keep the food warm before making his way into one of the nearby living quarters. He tosses his apron off before collapsing on one of the couches, lying on his stomach while sprawling his bulky body out. He gently rested his head on one of the cushions as he thought about how he must look like such a himbo slut, walking around the mansion in nothing but a jock 24/7. His boyfriend never made any sort of effort to hide the way his eyes constantly wandered over Dane’s form. He didn’t mind though. If anything he enjoyed it! Getting to show off his incredible new body was somewhat liberating.
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While he waited, Dane decided to do a little reading. He thought of getting up to grab a book from the massive library Wavell had created for him but instead he saw it as another opportunity to practice his own magic skills. Without shifting from the sofa Dane closed his eyes and focused. The familiar spectrum colour that was his magic appearing to him. He pulled at the colours with his mind just like he’d practiced to activate his abilities. When his eyes opened again they glowed a familiar gold rather than their usual blue. He held out his hands and focused, thinking of the book he wanted to read and just like that the book disappeared from the library and reappeared in Dane’s hands with poof of golden smoke.
“Haha! I’m really getting the hang of this stuff!” Dane celebrated, glad that he didn’t have to try three or four times to get the right book like he had in the past. With a satisfied grin the hunk allowed his eyes to fade back to their usual colour before opening up the book. The Lightning-Struck Heart it was called. He’d already read the book before and it was easily one of his favourites but when he saw Wavell had gotten him a rare limited edition version of the book, he couldn’t help but start reading it again.
About 30 minutes later a familiar vortex of purple smoke swirled in the centre of the room Dane was in, dispersing seconds later to reveal his boyfriend. Wavell’s bulky muscle bound form glistening with sweat from his workout.
“About time. I finished making dinner half an hour ago.” Dane tsked before turning his attention back towards the book.
Wavell cocked a smirk. “Sorry babe. I just lost track of time was all.”
Dane glanced up at Wavell again with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t try pulling that on me. I know the pocket dimension we’re in runs outside of normal time. You just get sloppy with your magic when you’re all beefed up on testosterone in that form after a workout.” He accused, motioning over Wavell's thick muscular form while trying to hide how much it turned him on.
The warlock let out a deep chuckle. “Alright, fine. Maybe I was a little sloppy when teleporting back.” He admitted while sauntering over to where his boyfriend was laid. “But in my defence I’ve never thought of teleporting back here for a certain time. I’ve always been alone here so it didn’t really matter to me. Until you came around that is.” Wavell knelt down beside the couch, gently running a hand through Dane’s hair before leaning in and planting a soft kiss on the other man’s cheek. He couldn’t help but notice how Dane blushed a little right after. “Heh. I know you can’t stay mad at me.” He grinned while running a hand along Dane’s back until he reached the pert bubble butt his boyfriend sported, groping it playfully.
Dane turned his attention back towards the meathead that was currently squeezing his ass. “It’s fine. No apology needed. Just don’t lie to me about it okay?” He leaned forward and gave Wavell a smile with a quick kiss.
“You sure you don’t want my apology?” Wavell grinned devilishly as his meaty fingers slid closer to Dane’s hole. “It’s a really good one.” Without another word he stuffed two fingers into Dane’s hole, digging them in deep so they could explore the ass he’d grown to love so much.
The almost naked hunk let out a grunt of unmistakable satisfaction. Wavell always knew just how to pleasure his hole. One might say he had magic fingers. And strangely enough it felt just that little bit better when he was Kyle. Maybe it was extra meatiness to his fingers or how his approach was a bit rougher and more… primal. Of course he adored his sex life with the smart, suit loving Chris Wavell as well but he’d really learned to appreciate the occasions he got to have with Kyle. Especially now as he bucked his hips against the couch below, feeling those meaty fingers graze the most sensitive parts inside his ass. He felt like putty in Wavell’s hands as he grunted like a bitch in heat.
“Mmmmpff fuck… not now… save it for later...” Dane just barely about managed to say as his boyfriend finger fucked him.
With a content smile Wavell removed his fingers from his lover's hole as per his request, pleased by how he’d turned Dane into a hot mess with nothing but his touch. “Fine. But you had better get ready to take all this fuckin dick when the time comes bro.” Wavell added, grabbing his crotch a little before giving Dane’s ass a hefty smack.
“Jesus… you act like such a meathead jock when you’re like this.” Dane remarked but once again his blush gave away just how much he really enjoyed it. “And you smell like one too. Go jump in the shower quickly while I set up the table. I don’t wanna smell your post workout musk from across the table as we eat.”
“Why? Because it’ll make you horny?” Wavell teased, lifting up his arms and showing off his sweaty pits. Dane neither confirmed nor denied the claim but that in of itself was enough for Wavell. “Alright, alright. I’ll get a shower.” He laughed before standing back up again. “Can’t wait to taste whatever you’ve cooked up bro!” He exclaimed while striding out of the room, leaving Dane alone with a painfully hard erection pressing against the couch inside his jockstrap.
———
Wavell sat down at the table in a fresh pair of clothes, hair still slightly damp from his shower. Their meals were already set out and it all looked delicious! He praised Dane on how good it all looked before picking up some cutlery and digging in. Of course Wavell never needed to eat but when he was in this body he usually did so as an instinct to get his calories in so he won’t lose any gains (even though his form is locked in shape).
Dane did the same, having a large mouthful of his own Risotto, pleased to see his boyfriend wolfing it down. “Slow down babe. You look like a wild animal that hasn’t eaten in days.” He joked.
The warlock blushed slightly. “Sorry. Habit I guess and this stuff is just so good.” He paces himself a little more, taking a more well portioned mouthful next rather than the mountains worth he was shoveling in before.
As usual the two chatted casually, Dane telling Wavell about the book he’d been reading as to try and encourage him to read it as well. Wavell recalling how he saw some people using some gym equipment horribly wrong and telling Dane about how he went over to help them. But as he got onto the subject of the gym, he remembered about his plan.
“Dane. I’ve got a little something in mind that I need to share with you. It’s a project I’ve had brewing for awhile now and I think it’s finally time to test it out.” He stated before shoving another lump of chicken into his mouth. Dane listened intently as Wavell continued, eager to see where this was going. “Well as you know when we use our magic we usually only use it on one or two people at a time. Sure I’ve bent reality on a global scale a couple of times but I’ve never made personal changes to a large scale group of people all at once before. I know that I can do it, it’s more about just doing it right. Trying to make the same change to so many people at the same time isn’t an easy task. That’s why I’ve been developing a little spell that should be able to accomplish such a feat. I call it ‘The Homo-Bomb’ and if I get it right, the results are going to be fucking glorious.”
Incredibly intrigued by this, Dane naturally had to question further. “And the results are gonna be…??? Come on, you can’t just leave me hanging like that.”
Wavell smirked. “In short, any straight man caught in the radius of the Homo-Bomb should turn completely and utterly gay. As long as I’ve fine tuned the spell correctly.”
“Oh? And what if it isn’t fine tuned? Could it be dangerous?” Dane asked.
“No not at all. It’ll be perfectly safe. What’ll probably end up happening if it isn’t fine tuned enough is that there’ll be some anomalies. People that were maybe affected by the spell in slightly different ways than intended. But that’s why I want to test it. To see if any anomalies occur and if so I’ll know that I have more work to do.” Wavell gave his boyfriend an innocent smile with that rugged face of his before digging back into the final remains of his food.
Dane was slightly taken aback. Wavell had never mentioned this project of his before but he had to admit it sounded interesting to say the least. “Well… I do love a good experiment. When were you thinking of testing this spell out?”
“Tonight probably.” Wavell replied nonchalantly.
The almost naked hunk’s eyes widened. “Tonight!? Jesus, you need to stop telling me these things at the very last second.”
Wavell chuckles before stuffing the last of his food into his mouth. “Sorry babe. From now on you’re all in on this. In fact I want you to help me out afterwards as well with gathering results if that’s alright.”
Of course Dane agreed. After hearing about Wavell’s plan he could help but be excited to see it all go down. He finished up the rest of his own dinner as well before placing the dishes in the sink. After that he headed off to their bedroom upstairs and looked through the huge walk-in closet Wavell made him. Sifting through all the amazing clothes until he found a set that he liked. With that he came back downstairs to see Wavell stood patiently at the bottom of the stairs.
“Wow. I’m so used to seeing you in nothing but a jockstrap that clothes almost look weird on you.” The cheeky warlock sniggered.
“Heh. Wearing them kinda feels weird as well now.” Dane admitted. “But anyway, let's not waste anymore time. I’m dying to see what this ‘Homo-Bomb’ of yours looks like!” He practically jumped into Wavell’s arms, their muscular bodies pressing against each other. Without another word the pair was encased in a spire of smoke before vanishing from the mansion.
———
When Wavell and Dane reappeared in the real world, night had already befallen the town of Bellmare. Most people were already fast asleep and completely unaware of the pair of magical hunks looking down on them. The couple floated in the sky, high enough to get a full view of the entire town.
“This is the town I was at earlier while working out. I thought it would make a good testing ground for the experiment .” Wavell said.
“Well don’t keep me waiting. Let’s see what this Homo-Bomb of yours has got!” Dane exclaimed excitedly before giving Wavell a kiss on the cheek.
With a smirk Wavell drifted away from Dane slightly while looking down below. He took a deep breath, his large pecs heaving as he closed his eyes to focus. Dane simply watched on in curiosity as Wavell put his hands together, causing them to glow purple with burgeoning magic. The glow slowly began to grow brighter as sparks of electricity began to crackle around him. Then after about a minute or so he gradually began to pull his hands apart, a small ball of concentrated magic energy forming between them.
“Woah…” Dane muttered under his breath. He’d never really seen Wavell do something like this before. Usually it was just he’d just wave his hand and it was done. But he was clearly taking a lot more care with this one.
The ball of energy grew bigger and brighter between Wavell’s hands until he decided to raise it above his head. Once he did it started to grow at a much more rapid pace. The programming was all done now and all it needed was a sufficient amount of power to cover the town. Wavell still needed to concentrate though. He didn’t want to accidentally give the bomb enough power to change the entire country or more! Although maybe if this works properly he’ll consider doing that anyway.
Soon enough the bomb had grown so large that Dane had backed away a little further, intimidated by the large mass of magical power before him. The deep purple colour of the bomb was now bright enough to cast a glow onto the town below. Almost like an omen for what was to come.
“Is it ready yet?” Dane asked nervously.
Wavell opened his eyes and glanced over at his lover with a reassuring smile. He looked up at the purple mass of energy above his head and then back over at Dane. “Pretty much yeah! You think I should throw this thing or what bro!?” His smile turned into an almost maniacal grin spreading across his jock-like mug.
Dane glanced at the town below and then up at the ball of energy as it pulsed and crackled with energy. “I mean… if you think it’s safe th-” he was cut off before he could finish as Wavell sent his arms forward, plunging the bomb down towards Bellmare. Dane had no idea what to expect as he braced himself for some kind of explosion. But when the bomb hit the ground it simply burst into a massive cloud of magical mist like one giant balloon.
A thick purple fog quickly settled over the town. It soon invaded the homes of the citizens of Bellmare, being absorbed mostly into the bodies of sleeping straight men. Making changes to their bodies and minds. But of course the homo-bomb was yet to perfected and some anomalies were bound to take place…
“Hahaha! Look at that! An entire town submerged in my glorious power! And I could do so much more if I wanted.” Wavell boasted cockily as he floated back over towards Dane and wrapped an arm around the other man. “You see how powerful your boyfriend is babe? I’m the most powerful being on the planet, probably the whole universe!” He gloated, flexing his free arm and watching his biceps bulge with strength, knowing full well how much power he had contained in his body.
Dane can’t help blushing a little seeing Wavell act so cocky and prideful about his power. He allowed himself to be pulled in tight by his lover as they watched the cloud of magic settle, cuddling against Wavell’s large chest a little. Wavell was usually the one leading the two of them through their magical adventure anyway but when he was Kyle he really took charge. It must’ve been that dominant jock personality in him and Dane had absolutely no problem being submissive.
“My magic should already be taking hold.” Wavell lowered his arm and placed his free hand on his hip. “By morning all the changes should be complete. At that point we’ll need to start gathering results if you’re up for it.” He kissed the top of Dane’s head sweetly.
“Yeah of course. I’m actually pretty excited to see if this spell of yours has worked or not.” Dane replied, looking up at his boyfriend.
“Good to hear my man.” Wavell rubbed Dane’s arm a little. “But I don’t really feel like doing all that boring shit. If I have to listen to dudes babble on about getting hard for other dudes instead of chicks I’ll be hitting my head against a wall within an hour.” He huffed, dreading the idea. “That’s more Chris’ department. So…” Wavell took a deep breath, calming his mind. He reached into his subconscious, disconnecting himself from Kyle before hooking up to Chris instead. The moment he did his body began to change.
His huge imposing muscles began to shrink down into a more compact form. Reducing down until he was leaner than Dane again. His entire body began to age up, going from mid twenties to mid forties but still retaining its vigour. His face started to look less jockish and more distinguished as lines of wisdom and maturity etched themselves across it. Of course he was still as handsome as ever though, just in a more “daddy-like” way, as his short blonde locks began turning more of a salt and pepper colour along with his beard hair, adding to his mature look. His beard even reshaped itself into a more groomed look. Everything from his pecs to his ass shrunk down into a still muscular but less bulky state. “Mmmmm fuuuuuuck ooohhh…” He moaned with a pleasurable grin. Partially due to his voice switching from Kyle’s youthful one to Chris’ more refined but still masculine one and also because his fat 9 inch cock was undergoing some small changes of its own. Losing a tiny bit of its thickness but in return lengthening up to about 10 and a half inches! Before long the sporty clothes Wavell had chosen earlier were hanging off his body as his transformation came to an end.
“Ugh. My other self really has absolutely no sense of style.” Wavell scoffed looking down at what he was wearing, now fully immersed as Chris Wavell once again. “Out of all the nice clothes I own or could’ve conjured up, I decided on this?” He gestured towards the black joggers and black t-shirt which had previously hugged Kyle’s form rather tightly. He shook his head disapprovingly before waving his hand with a magical glow.
Immediately his clothes began to change. Joggers turning into a nice pair of fitted sky blue suit pants while his t-shirt moulded itself into a crisp white button down. A matching blue suit jacket materialised itself around him in spectacular fashion before an ornate watch followed the same example by strapping itself to his wrist. His large pair of dirty sneakers soon found themselves morphing into a nice fancy pair of brown dress shoes that complemented his outfit well.
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“Ahhh that’s much better.” Wavell smiled with relief as he fixed his jacket a little. “Now my love, I suppose we’d better… oh.” He finally looked over at Dane to see the other man’s eyes filled with wonder along with a huge boner pressing against his pants. “I uhhh… forgot how much you enjoy watching me do that.” Wavell chuckled.
Dane didn’t say a word at first, simply floating closer to Wavell again. Then, without warning, he gripped Wavell’s jacket and pulled the silver fox of a warlock in for an aggressive kiss. Naturally Wavell was a tad surprised but he had no problem returning the kiss. “Fuck me.” Dane blurted upon pulling apart momentarily before kissing his lover again. “Fuck me like the other you promised me he would.” He begged, causing Wavell to recall the promise he’d made to Dane after fingering his hole earlier.
“Ah yes. I suppose I did make such a promise didn’t I.” Wavell smiled seductively. “Well it can’t be helped. I guess I’ll just have to give you ‘all this dick’ like Kyle said he would huh?” He grabbed Dane by the hips and pulled him closer, rubbing their crotches together a little, Dane’s excited boner now rubbing against the hard on Wavell was sporting in his suit pants. The only response Dane could give was a furious nod before leaning back in for another kiss. And with that Wavell flicked his wrist yet again causing the pair to vanish off once again. Heading back home for some alone time together in the hopes of returning to Bellmare once the morning had arrived and the citizens were waking up to discover a few changes about themselves.
➡️ Jack’s Interview ⬅️
➡️ Theo’s Interview ⬅️
➡️ Lewis And Jeremy’s Interview ⬅️
➡️ Andrew and Mateo’s Interview ⬅️
➡️ Trevor’s Interview ⬅️
➡️ Conclusion ⬅️
If you love my stories then please consider supporting me on Patreon as well!! ❤️
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icecleats · 10 months
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leona-florianova · 1 year
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FO1 and FO2 compilation 2023
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aemonds-wifey · 1 year
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One shot requested by the lovely @moonchildrenandflowercrowns
Summary: Uhtred, Finan and Sihtric find out Osferth is no longer their timid baby monk
Finan held up his tankard of Mead and swirled it before sitting on the table in the long house, he scratched his head “Uhtred when are we going for another hunt ?”
“Soon Finan. So eager to get away from Ingrid already?” Uhtred teased
Sihtric took a gulp of Mead “He’s not meant to be tied down eh.”
Finan pointed at him playfully “Your turn soon ya runt.”
Uhtred laughed as Finan looked around “Speaking of runts Where is the baby monk? He’d usually chip in with something about now. And ask where we would venture for our hunt…”Uhtred folded his arms “He might be checking on Y/N . See how her injuries are. I said she could heal at the villa when she felt well enough to go.”
Sihtrics eyes darted back and forth before Finan saw
“Something you want to share boy?” Finan said curiously
Sihtric inhaled “they went to the villa already Uhtred….He is not here …they went Two nights ago.”
Finan”: eyes widened in surprise “He took her up there…and he has not returned ?” He grinned like a giddy school boy.
Sihtric grinned too, Uhtred couldn’t help but smile a little too “She must be feeling better then.”
Sihtric mused “Maybe Osferth has a secret to healing battle worn Vikings ?! “ he jokingly said.
“Our baby monk and the Norse warrior.” Finan almost cooed “Gosh I hope she was gentle with him.”
Sihtric almost spat his mead at Finan’s comment
“I’m only saying! He’s our baby monk and she’s a seasoned fighter , remember how twitchy he was when we first met him? And he’s bedded a ferocious Viking!”
Uhtred tutted slightly “She’s not a wild wolf Finan “
Finan out stretched his arms “I’m just saying…she hardly spoke two words when we found her and brought her back and our baby monk is..well…”
Sihtric laughed “I knew he was full of surprises but this is so unexpected.”
Uhtred spoke next “Is it? Soon as he laid eyes on her I knew he was smitten.”
Finan nodded “True…he was determined to change her.”
Sihtric exhaled “Seems it worked …look at how she spared Haesten. Osferth said she altered her goal because of him.”
Finan laughed “Maybe he learned a trick or two on taking Vikings at the monastery?”
Uhtred nudged hun “Come on now boys we need to - “
Just as he began to talk the doors to the longhouse opened and Osferth’s head appeared. Almost in sync all the men watched as Osferth came in, closing the door behind him. His hair was slightly ruffled and his hands clasped together and over his front. He approached his friends and sat beside Sihtric.
“Osferth.” Uhtred said.
“Lord.” He said
Their eyes all watched him as he got comfortable , he noticed and almost blushed
“What is it?” He asked nervously .
Finans giggled which extended into a joyful laugh as Osferth’s ears went pink
“Enjoy your stay at the villa?” Sihtric said as he nudged him.
To their surprise Osferth did not deny this he simply only smiled and nodded. With his face turning into a smirk that stretched from ear to ear.
Finan patted him on the back and lifted his tankard “Well done Os. “ he looked at the others “Our man here is no longer a baby monk! “
Sihtric raised his tankard too “They grow up so fast.” He pressed his hand to his chest feigning innocence. Osferth smiled as Uhtred squeezed his shoulder “Does she make you happy Osferth?”
He opened his mouth to answer but Finan spoke first “The way he is grinning I’d say that’s a yes.”
Osferth nodded “I’m going to Marry her someday…Lord.”
Sihtric and Finan’s smiles turned to those of genuine approval and happiness.
Uhtred held his arms out , Osferth stood up and embraced Uhtred - as if brothers in arms.
“You are good for each other Osferth.” Uhtred said as he let go.
Sihtric hugged him next, patting him on the back . Finan got to his feet “You are a dark horse baby monk. Although I won’t make any more jokes…I’m happy for you my lad.”
Osferth smiled with genuine settlement in his face “Thank you…I am happy.”
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🪄✨
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synintheraven · 4 months
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*screams* Ragnar!!!! (my beloved)
[get a copy] or [see hq in portfolio]
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hoofpeet · 2 years
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Faun guy who intermittently looks around his surroundings to check for tigers while eating doritos in the living room
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icecleats2 · 27 days
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I've been volunteering at a wildlife rehabilitation place! The organisation treats sick or injured native animals and then releases them into the wild. It also holds sanctuary for some animals that are unable to survive in the wild. Some being surrendered pets. This comic is based off a cute interaction I had with the resident emus
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Sexiest Podcast Character — Scripted Bracket — Round 1
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Propaganda
Buddy Aurinko (The Penumbra Podcast: Juno Steel):
Buddy Aurinko is a smooth-talking, cool-headed lesbian crime boss with a voice like straight whiskey and a body that runs off...straight whiskey. Literally, she has organs that run off alcohol. Buddy brings a crime family together to steal a space-age cure for disease from pharmaceutical companies who would rather fight over it than release it to the public. We first meet her breaking her estranged fiance out of captivity, and watch as they mend their relationship and ultimately get married after the heist of a lifetime. She knows a bit of what's going on in everyone's head at all times, and isn't afraid to push them. I would like her to push me.
Redheaded MILF space pirate
Dane (Dreamboy):
I bet out of the whole competition he's one of the only ones who's actually had sex
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kaereth · 5 months
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almost late Halloween doodle of these goobers! :D Hope you all had a good spoopy season
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schmenne · 2 years
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So, like, am I the only one who liked Season 2? Because they did an excellent job. The outfits were much better than season 1. I liked the story, the pairings, the depth of the characters that didn´t have much going for them in season 1, I liked the little twist of who the enemies were, the new characters...
Good job.
I liked it.
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blackkatmagic · 10 months
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Two pathetic lifeforms acquired! Congrats, Obi-Wan, you're just like Qui-Gon
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leona-florianova · 1 year
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Dane and Dark Dane.. 
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aemonds-wifey · 1 year
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Warrior Queen & Holy King
Chapter 1
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Summary: As heir to the throne of your fathers kingdom you have finally won back your crown , now justice is served it is time to pick up the pieces of your old life…and your old love , the baby Monk
The winds howls echoed through the open , cold castle courtyard . A small scaffold was built by the tower, you stood by the small almost ornate wooden block fashioned for the execution.
Your eyes scanned over the crowd, the nobles had gathered to witness this, you stood in your elegant armour- a steal breastplate covered with a cloak made of black and green colours that intertwined with each other.
Then the crowd turned , Two men, arguably two of your best fighters, Finan and Sihtric - followed by loyal banner man brought him to you , Haesten- bloody, battle worn and in chains. Your eyes never left him as they brought him over the light blanket of snow towards you, a rage that had burnt inside you was beginning to dwindle…seeing him helpless and take his final steps up the scaffold- you felt nothing.
When the siege was finished , only Haesten had remained alive, you offered clemency to him- but he openly tried to attack you when you dropped your guard. Only to be taken down by your superior fighting skills, you decided then and there he would answer for his crimes, by execution- by your royal decree.
They dropped him before the block, forcing him on his kneees , he now knelt before the block- at your mercy.
“Do you have any last words?” You asked inhaling the crisp thin air , the wind howled as the light snowfallHaesten ,at spat at your feet - you did not flinch, she only looked down at him pitifully. Finan moved his leg to kick the man about to meet his death but too held your hands up to stop him.
After all these years, all the torment you had suffered- the years in exile you spent away from your home and fighting to survive. Here you stood. Hands firmly on your sword, ready to behead the man who had brought her so much pain and suffering . The man who murdered your parents, tried to kill you in an attempt to take your throne was now going to face justice. Sihtric had offered to behead him by his own hand, but you insisted you passed the sentence, therefore you must be the one to swing the sword.
You gently knelt down , her face inches away from Haestens , your long silver blonde plaited hair that rested over your shoulder almost touched the ground, you paused before
Opening your mouth to speak.
“This is too good a death for you….but I intend to be a just ruler…to show my people that I will not be the wretch you tried to make me….”
Haesten watched as you rose to your feet, firmly holding the sword handle with both hands - you took a moment and in mere moments, you brought the sword down and severed Haestens head away from his body. His head rolled down off the scaffold and into the snow. He was dead. The people watching did not gasp, they looked on as the tyrant they had suffered for five years was brought to a swift end.
Your squire offered his hands to take your sword, you handed it over to him. Watching as the body was taken away to be burnt , after the head was collected you left the scaffold.
Overcome with emotion you sought refuge by the fire in the council room, as you walked through the many hallways of the old castle you were greeted with smiles and bows. This was the first time you had retraced your steps in the castle since that fateful night , It was still so alien to you, when you were named as your fathers heir you were immediately bewildered by the sudden responsibility on your shoulders - your mother was equally proud of this decision, your parents commanded great respect as rulers of their kingdom and they had bestowed it onto you , their only child. Guided by your parents you started your journey onto becoming a worthy ruler …but then it all changed on the stormy late summers night upon your fifteenth winter.
Haesten sought to claim the throne, believing he was more worthy than a girl , he attacked with a cold fury that shocked you to your very core. After he had slain your mother , he held your father atop of the balcony overlooking the large courtyard , you were stood at the iron gate, your fingers gripped on the metal and only watching at the horror before your eyes. Haesten made the foolhardy offer to spare him and let him wallow in exile if you agreed to marry Haesten. Before you could even refuse, your fathers actioned echoed your thoughts. He elbowed Haesten and screamed at you to run, you could only watch as Haesten mortally wounded your father and tossed him aside over the edge of the balcony. The high pitched scream that left your ears only amplified throughout the stone work of the castle, as you were dragged away to safety- the last thing you saw was Haesten crowning himself with the precious crown he had removed from your fathers head after throwing him over the balcony.
A knock on the door turned your attention away from your memory.
“Yes?” You asked removing the cloak from your shoulders.
Uhtred stepped in , bowing his head slightly. Closing the door behind him.
You smiled warmly, Uhtred was the man who saved you from the burning tower the night Haesten sacked the castle, Uhtred taught you to fight and how to prepare to take back your crown.
He looked so proud of you “Haesten is dead I hear?”
You nodded “Swiftly and quickly. More than he deserved.” You said
Uhtred agreed “true…but you have shown you are stronger …takes courage to not butcher a man out of anger …”
He placed a comforting hand on your shoulder as you inhaled slowly
“And now you will be a Queen…the mightiest warrior Queen this land has seen.” He said
“Uhtred I could not have survived without you, Finan , Sihtric all of you…I’m eternally in your debt…” you said humbly.
“You have overcome great odds…to win back your throne is no easy feet but you did it…and now the usurper is dead.” He spoke leaning against the stone wall folding his arms.
You inhaled stepping away from the fire, looking briefly at the table littered with open parchments and rolled up scrolls. So much was to be done. You gripped the table end with two hands, looking at the map that was now your kingdom, you looked at Uhtred “I thought you would have wanted to witness his end?” You asked
“I was taking care of another matter …” he said with a glimmer of hope.
“The prisoners…?” You asked standing up straight.
Uhtred nodded only once. “We found them…housed at the great castle on the coast…” he said.
Your heart churned at his words “You mean…? He’s alive?”
Uhtred smiled “Very much…and very eager to see you.”
Your hands clasped over your chest for a moment and your exhaled “Osferth…” knowing he was alive was the greatest news you could have received. Your hand moved to the gap between your tunic and you fished out the small necklace you wore, on a silver chain the pendant was that of a small cross. You held it closely to your lips.
Chapter 2
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divinita-umana · 1 month
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