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  • Title: Missing Our Same Old Us
  • Created by: noxsoulmate
  • Summary: Agent Dean Winchester of the FBI, one of the most respected and feared men in the classified Supernatural Defence Agency (SDA), is secretly but happily married to fellow agent Castiel Novak. With their romantic relationship and marriage concealed from other agents, Dean and Cas will face the greatest threat yet to their love for each other. A mission in Purgatory leads to Cas losing all his good memories of Dean and reverting back to who he was before they really got to know one another: a gay man with severe internalized homophobia and deep hatred for Dean.
    While the team learns to function with Cas’ amnesia and the challenges it brings, Dean is also desperate to save his marriage and bring back his beloved best friend, lover, and husband.
  • Rating: Explicit
  • Major Warnings and Tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence; Alternative Universe - FBI, Memory Loss, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Cas hates Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Secret Relationship, Married Couple, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Suffering Dean Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Smut, Suicide in a Djinn-World (can be skipped!), Alternate Universe - No Angels (Supernatural), spn verse, Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending

currently being posted (see note on ao3)

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Summary: Cas changes his wardrobe now that he has properly gone shopping. Dean is more than a little shocked by Cas’s choice of dress.

When Sam had volunteered to go with Cas to buy new clothes while Dean finished up a simple salt and burn, Dean hadn’t expected Cas to be wearing the clothes when he returned. The clothes that Dad would have actually killed Dean for if he ever even looked at them for too long. But the smile on Cas’s face as he twirled for Dean (as per Sam’s request) in his black, flowery dress with a tight-necked collar that fanned out so beautifully as Cas twirled, revealing the black mesh and some pumped up shoes. It all perfectly complimented Cas’s black hair and brought out Cas’s eyes with the blue flowers.

“Wow,” Dean whispers in awe, unaware that the word left his mouth until Cas looks up with hopeful eyes that shine brighter under Dean’s steadfast gaze.

After a while, Dean clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck as he looks down, shuffling a bit before leaving the room.

Continue on AO3

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Summary: Dean was injured during a mission while trying to come home to his husband who thinks that he’s dead. Cas visits him in the hospital and they both realize that nothing will be the same, but as long as they’re together, it’s going to be okay.

It was only supposed to be for a few months. Dean was assigned to an undercover mission that required him to cut all communication, even with his husband. His husband that now thinks him dead because Dean couldn’t find a safe way to confirm that he’s still alive with the corporation, so he knows that a year ago Cas got a letter that he wrote just in case he ever died on a mission.

So Dean doesn’t even know if Cas will come to the hospital to see him. Cas could have moved on by now, could have found someone else in the year that Dean was supposedly dead. Dean wasn’t even the one to call Cas because he was unconscious, but his husband has been on his mind ever since he woke up a week ago and Dean figures that Cas just won’t show. Dean doesn’t blame him, but it still hurts like a bitch.

Continue Reading on AO3

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Summary: Cas’s comfort dog runs away and Cas panics. Thankfully, Dean is there to help him find Trish.

Cas is officially panicking. Not in the light ‘oh my gosh I’m panicking’ sort of way, but the 'oh my fucking god my fucking dog is missing because some assbutts fucking hurt her and now Cas’s all alone and is never going to fucking find his dog and die alone like he was always supposed to and…’ well, you get the idea.

And he is panicking so bad that he can’t breathe and usually Trish calms him down but now she’s fucking missing and fuck . He doesn’t swear and now he has turned into a person that swears and fuck.

He doesn’t know anyone and he’s going to pass out and nobody here knows him and his parents don’t want him and Gabriel is going to be pissed if he has to come identify a body and his fucking dog is missing. Fuck.

And then he sees him and tunnels in on the green eyes, the only boy that he’s paid attention to his entire time in college because he calms him with his steady eyes and confident demeanor and yet he’s never talked to this boy.

And yet he knows no one else and the boy is coming closer to him and fuck. He’s panicking again and the boy can totally see because his vision is starting to black out in a series of dots, but the boy only comes faster and drops down to his knees in front of him and he’s talking to him and Cas doesn’t know what he’s saying which is inconsiderate and-

Continue Reading on AO3

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Summary: The one where Gabriel gets himself in a car accident and has to deal with the consequences. Which are dealing with separating his reality from the dreamland he made up when he had been in a coma. His dreams had included his life at home, school, and with his boyfriend Sam Winchester - who was, in fact, not real. (Tags are updated as the story progresses)

Relationships: Sam/Gabe, Cas/Dean, (background) Dean/Anna

Author’s Note: I am not done with it at the moment, but we are almost there. I just would like to do a little shameless self-promotion. Why not? Anywho, I think you should read this because it’s decent. I guess I’m really bad at self-promotion. Good thing I’m not a salesperson. 

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Destiel, and 17

Needing to kiss to hide from bad guys

Dean took Cas’ hand, pulling him into the mall. They ran inside, quickly hid behind a standing map of the mall. The werewolves they were running from, two really big guys and two buff women, ran past them.

“There are more of them than I thought,” Castiel said, looking around furtively. He looked around the corner of the map, then hurriedly pulled back. “I think there are more of them at the entrance. They’re going slowly though, scoping the place out.”

Dean was sweating, out of breath from running through the streets. He was so tempted to pull out his gun, create a distraction, but then the police would be involved. Pulling out a gun in public always got you into trouble, which was fine, really, unless you were using the gun in self defense.

Though, Dean got another idea that wouldn’t cause any violence or ruckus.

“Come on.” He squeezed Cas’s hand, then walked out from behind the sign, merging in with the mall traffic. Cas tried to pull away, but Dean didn’t let go of his hand.

“Dean, what are we doing?”

“Blending in,” Dean said. “If we run, they’ll know it’s us.” He peeked over his shoulder, saw the werewolves that Cas had mentioned. 

“Do you have to hold my hand to blend in?”

“Yeah. We’re being a couple.”

Hm, but the werewolves would still recognize them if they looked. How to draw their eyes away from them?

Dean stopped, turned to Cas. He took him by the hips. “I saw this in a movie once,” he explained.


To quote the movie: “Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable.”

“Yes, they do,” Cas confirmed, quoting the next line without even realizing it.

Dean leaned in and kissed Cas just as the werewolves went by them. Their eyes never landed on them.

And, Dean realized, this was his first time kissing Cas. It was something he’d wanted to do for a very long time, but had never had the guts to. Not to show affection, but of course now he could do it when he was using it as a tactic to not be killed. His mouth was nice, his lips full, though the kiss was hard, awkward.

Dean pulled away, eyes sparkling a little. Cas was looking stunned. 

Dean took him by the hand again without even realizing it. “Okay, now let’s get out of here.”

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Oh no..

I’m scared now.. ;(

But also really excited because, like everyone in the comments is saying along with Misha, Cas deserves to stand up to Dean and they both need to deal with all of the feelings of hurt and betrayal. Dean basically disowning Cas after everything they’ve been through should not be ignored and left behind. It should be dealt with like adults and they should have a real goddamn conversation.

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