Tumgik
#dear journal
lambcafe · 4 months
Text
love really is our strongest weapon. its not cheesy– it's taught me everything i needed to learn, one way or the other. taught me the hardest lessons, the most painful ones, and has lifted the heaviest of weights. love has made me grow. vulnerability has made me strong.
never believe that being angry to the point of distrust and contempt for everyone around you will make you stronger. it hardens you, isolates you. violence is just a reflector. when you're angry, hold love close to it, and you will get farther than you ever thought you would. i thought i had to hold onto hate, never forgive, never trust anyone i met before even giving them a chance, and all it did was make the sickness grow.
and i'll be honest; you don't even have to forgive. not until you're ready, if you ever are. not everyone deserves that from you. but everything you do, at the very least, do it as an act of love towards yourself. and try to extend that to others when you can. it transforms you
22 notes · View notes
villanevehaus · 4 months
Text
birthday :)
15 notes · View notes
Text
love hides in questions, you cannot ask a thing without giving yourself away. how was your day? (i hope it was good) when can i see you again? (i pray it's soon) do you feel safe with me? (i feel safe with you) what is your favorite color? (i wish to enrobe you in all that makes you smile)
– yoursoulispuremagic
Tumblr media
(Journal Page by Poorvi)
8 notes · View notes
riversrawblog · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
Intrusive Memories
When I let my mind wonder there’s a loop of memories that play. Not some happy childhood memories with laughter and squeals. Not some huge defining life moment. Instead it’s a bunch of small time stamps of my anxiety. A constant humiliation playlist. Therapy and medications it doesn’t make it go away. I’m five and I feel a sharp pain and warmness down my legs. The red tumble mat below me houses a puddle that’s pulling at my feet. I just peed my pants because I was too nervous to ask to go to the bathroom. I’m seven in second grade reading out loud in groups of two with my best friend and my teacher yells at me for using my “outside voice” my friend reassures me it’s okay it’s just how I talk but I’ll never speak up again. I’m eight I’m at a birthday party. We all gather around in the living room with plates of hotdogs. On my plate sits half a hot dog with some ketchup. I’m done eating but I just sit there. I sit there until my mom comes to get me because I didn’t know where the trash can was and I didn’t want to ask. It’s every time I went hunger because I couldn’t ask for a snack, every time I said no thank you when I desperately needed something. I want to remember something better, I want to see some smiles I want to hear some laughs. Instead I’m nine in my soccer jersey. I can’t breathe through the snot and tears because it’s picture day and I can’t do it. I’m getting yelled at because I can’t do it. I’m ten sitting in a basket reading a book through tears. I’m grounded because I can’t talk to the therapist. I’m getting screamed at being told it’s all in my head and I need to talk to this lady. The problem is it was in my head, anxiety so extreme I threw up everyday before school. I so desperately wanted to be normal.
-River
7 notes · View notes
averyroundsquare · 4 months
Text
If I wasn’t sure before
I’m sure now.
I don’t mind waiting for you.
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
philosophika · 1 year
Text
In other news, I’m being screened for ADHD on Tuesday after my dad (on a health binge) got diagnosed last month. Kind of excited because if it checks out, it would explain *A LOT* of things... 
11 notes · View notes
vampiregirl2323 · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
11 notes · View notes
euesworld · 10 months
Text
"I think I'm going crazy. I thought I was talking to a guy that had a speaker that could hear my thoughts on the sidewalk below my window. He's supposed to beat my ass on the 1st and I couldn't hear him very well. We had been talking for a couple hours and I couldn't hear him very well most of the time but he was legit answering my questions and I was telling him stuff and he was replying to me for 2 hours. I couldn't hear him at all so I decided to go to the window. There was nobody down there at all. I looked a few more times, still nobody. So I'm thinking there was a speaker in my heater so I go lay on my bed too see if I could hear him again. Then I asked him a question and he responded. I said where are you? I didn't see you down below. All of this in my thoughts mind you. And he says no. I'm in the fan. I said is there a speaker and microphone in the fan. He says no, I am the fan, and then he started talking shit, haha. And I had to post this to tell you."
Most insane thing I have ever done, haha.. the pic of the talking fan is nothing special at all but he talks - eUë
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
djg80s · 1 year
Text
Facts
You have to learn to let go of the individuals who don’t want to help themselves! There surround by to many bad influences, and think the positive people in there lives are the negative ones.
Why waste your time! They will continue to fail and drag you down with them. Don’t put your own success on hold to help a person who doesn’t want to be helped. At the end your just hurting yourself and your own success!
8 notes · View notes
xganjafuckinprincessx · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
• 132 / 365 •
🐟❌🐠
heyyyooooo 🌪️
it was a kinda weird day, must’ve been the mood or smth smh 🌭
i left the house to get groceries and cigarettes 🎆
it’s really weird since i got out the hospital… people are worried and guessing what kind of mental illness i have… outside world is fuckin testin atm 🤧
things really changed for the better cuz i did that xd
i visited my dildo and did some housechores 🤭
money problemis make me cook hahahah 👩‍🍳
my krümmelchen visited me with some vanilla coke 💯✨
as you can hear in the video my music is goin back to the early 00’s hahahah
and it’s 420-0815-normal to gain weight when gettin out a mental health clinic.
all this no-sleep-drug-alcohol-cigarettes-lifestyle is not healthy at all ‼️‼️‼️‼️❗️
my belly and my ass are gettin bigger and i’m slowly gettin used to havin a basic bitch body which’s not underweight!!
sometimes i’m really lonely but bored i have never been 💣🪩🧚🏻‍♀️
🌸🌻🧡
💋12:48am 🍳
{{{GETURSHITTOGETHERUSTUPIDHOE}}}
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
lambcafe · 1 year
Text
just to wait until the end of the month (hopefully) for all of this terrible, terrible pain to end
3 notes · View notes
villanevehaus · 5 months
Text
gonna be real here, idk if nov is gonna get a tme chapter. without going into too much detail november contains 3 very unpleasant dates/anniversaries for me, two of which are back to back, and it's really. a lot. it hits me every year harder than i remember it doing so and this is my first year doing all of them alone bc of my recent move to another province. idk. i might share the poem i wrote for one of them bc im very proud of it but im not sure yet
i know i dont have to like. explain or apologize or whatever, its literally just fanfiction, but ik some of you guys really look forward to it and i dont want to leave you guys hanging? ig?
ill be posting what i have so far to ko-fi as a thank you to my supporters over there but just. yeah. life happens
16 notes · View notes
thewitchesbrewletter · 11 months
Text
You are not a machine. You are more like a garden. You need different things on different days. A little sun today, a little less water tomorrow. You have fallow and fruitful seasons. It is not a design flaw. It is wiser than perpetual sameness. What does your garden need today?
– joynessthebrave
Tumblr media
34 notes · View notes
riversrawblog · 2 months
Text
Thought Of You
I caught myself thinking of you. I’ll admit I talk about you often still, it’s hard not to. You are the one I spent my teenage years with, the one I got my first place with, the one who taught me to drive, we were engaged and had a dog, and my family loved you like their own. You are my ultimate lure. However, you also taught me pain and grief and a lot of my thoughts about you are about the bad times. But tonight I wish I could reach out and tell you how fucking proud I am of you. How I am happy you are alive. Because even though we haven’t spoken in years you deserve to know that I’m so glad you were able to overcome your addiction I’m glad you were able to become a better person even if that better person wasn’t for me. I’m glad your life didn’t end the way so many of our friends did.
-River
2 notes · View notes
averyroundsquare · 4 months
Text
My Dad taught me a lot of things about people and life but I still wasn’t prepared for how horrible this world and it’s inhabitants can be, even the ones you share DNA with. The mistake he made was keeping me wrapped up in cotton wool for too long.
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes