Gert: Could be better! Could be better if I’m gonna be honest. Do you have a phone?
OW: No, I’m sorry, I don’t have one on me.
Gert: Do you know where the police station is?
OW: The police are highly ineffective in Crestfall.
Obituary 01: Wyatt Died
the death by dying podcast is really fucking funny
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Rating podcast men based on how likely i'd be able to beat them in a fight
Jonathan Sims tma: rat man. he's 90 pounds sopping wet. an angry weasel could easily beat him. i feel like one good punch would do him in he only survived the podcast through sheer stubbornness
Cecil Palmer wtnv: he'd trip on his own feather boa and manage to knock himself out before a single punch was thrown. and if he somehow managed not to do that i feel like he could hold his own for like thirty seconds and then get folded
Arthur Lester malevolent: do you think i have a death wish i would die immediately. it wouldnt even be a fight to the death and i would die within five seconds. this man has killed before and will kill again and i am so so afraid of him
Obituary Writer death by dying: i feel like he could hold his own. like i think it'd genuinely be a pretty equal fight. there is a 50/50 chance id die in some entirely unrelated and mysterious way but he'd write me a great obituary and be a great sport about it
Warren Godby red valley: seeing as warren literally killed a man and went to prison i dont think i could rate my chances all that great here. like he's nice and chill now (mostly) but still. like i dont think id die but he would totally kick my ass
Gordon Porlock red valley: okay i know warrens already there and i might not stand a chance against warren but gordon? he would flake apart like a wet napkin. mans is jon sims levels of pathetic. probably worse. i feel like if you bumped into him too hard he'd disintegrate or something
Sydney Sargent ch&t: i would feel soso bad but sydney is going down. like i would hate it. i would want to give him a piece of bread and butter and send him on his merry way but if i had to fight him there is no way in hell he could win
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I literally think about Halloween every day. For the spooky serotonin. The dark dopamine. The necro-neurotransmitters if you will.
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welcome to uhh horror podcasts uhm pick the middle aged lgbtq guy you want to follow do you want type A (literally unhinged. there is something wrong with this dude.) or type B (relatively normal guy in fucked situations. he has no idea what the fuck is going on at any given time)
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I think I got cursed by a monkey paw: all the amazing podcast stories! representation other media can only dream of, so many blorbos somehow encapsulating my exact taste
…and smallest fandoms ever. All of it, just for a tiny bunch of people who know about it. Even less with you can share it
I’m pretty sure in some instead of screaming into the void and catching similarly desperate fans…the only fish around is actual authors of the thing I’m going crazy about
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hello err fans of podcasts :3 im doing a project for school on fiction podcasts so..
if you could reblog this with all the podcasts you listened to in order (if you want to provide commentary as to why you went from one podcast to another (for example, the magnus archives to malevolent as a popular example->the eldritch horror) that'd be really useful! thanks :)
edit: i finished the assignment and got the grade back, it was really great! thank you for all your help!
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you have no idea how much tweaking it took for this drawing not to look like a frail elderly woman
(@subhuman-and-feedable)
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If only Charlotte could write us a haiku about this walrus vs fairy thing I feel like it'd turn the tides on this argument
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Ah yes, first week of the semester. The sudden urge to fake my death and disappear to a very remote location.
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