You’ve grown into someone who would have protected you as a child. And that is the most powerful move you made.
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For old times sake is actually such a heartbreaking and beautiful sentiment. Like, let’s do it for the love that used to be here. It is reason enough.
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The things you create don’t have to make sense! They can be messy and wild! They can be confusing and strange! They can be ugly and weird! Stop tethering your sense of creativity to what other people will accept. You deserve to create without inhibition.
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That feminine urge this, masculine urge that ….
Yeah, okay , cool
But what about the Lunar urge to ritualistically disappear every couple of weeks ?
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you were supposed to be the one. you were supposed to be different. you were supposed to be mine.
and all you ended up being was another lesson.
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Books are a special kind of poison. They soothe every ache inside of you while making you long for things that don't exist. They make you feel alive while simultaneously making life seem more and more dull with every page you read. Reading makes you feel less alone and yet it creates an ache for companionship - the likes of which you will never know outside of those pages.
Books are a poison I wish I had never drunk, but now that I have - it's the one thing keeping me alive.
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I don't want to be in love with someone
I want to be in love with life
so fiercely
that I forget all the pain
and all the days in which I thought
I couldn't do it anymore
- marimeiastories
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Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
Franz Kafka, The Diaries of Franz Kafka
Anne Sexton, Imitations of Drowning
Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
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