#descendants humor

[humaforever]

People that don't know Harry and Uma think he just calls her captain as a pet name. I mean the way he says it makes it seem that way, but Uma would like to make it clear that it's an authoritative title. Harry on the other hand just goes with it and is like "Yeah, it's kinda hot. She just really likes the power dynamic so I just go with it. It's like a kink or something"

Uma is thoroughly mortified and Harry is not allowed to speak to strangers anymore.

#it's his sense of humor it's not his fault if people don't get it #huma #harry hook #uma descendants

[ladystoneboobs]

i present: small and non-verbal but very funny star wars moments:

ep. V: the empire strikes back--the millenium falcon achieves hyperspeed again, despite the imperials' best plans to the contrary. admiral piett and his men are terrified of vader's reaction, all trying to stay out of his path. but he's still too busy brooding on his loss of luke to even force-choke anyone. that's how thrown off he was by his newly-mutilated son running away from him!

the sole exception to this collective terror being this guy, so intent on his own important work, that he doesn't even notice his scary boss until darth vader has walked right past him.

ep. III: revenge of the sith--padme's droids somehow getting her unconscious body back on her ship.

in the novelisation, r2-d2 just drags her up the ramp with his gadgetry, but in the script it's c-3po who carried her up bridal style. which would be impossible to film when 3po could barely manage to move around under his own weight. what makes it really funny for me is that there was no need for any of this. why not just have obi-wan pick her up as he's hurrying outta there after failing to kill her husband? i mean, it's surely not good to be lying out in the open on a volcanic world with poisonous gases, but it wouldn't be good for obi-wan running around out there either, and this lady was about to have broken heart as her only known cause of death. when has science ever held back star wars? and i can't imagine that being dragged by wires from artoo or dropped every few steps by threepio could've been too good for her body either. just makes for an absurd little (offscreen) background detail amid the tragedy of the end of padme's life, imho.

ep. IV: a new hope--obi-wan vanishing into thin air when struck down and vader's (very understandable) bafflement afterward.

by this point in the second screencap, luke is shooting at him in retaliation and the stormtroopers are all shooting back at luke, but anakin is still dealing with this unprecendented vanishing and busy searching for any corporeal remains of obi-wan kenobi with his boot. "where did you go, my old master? how could this happen? i wasn't done fighting with you yet."

ep. V: the empire strikes back--vader inviting lando calrissian, chewbacca, han solo, and princess leia to share a meal with him and boba fett, before taking chewie, han, and leia prisoner and torturing han.

i think a lot of people must assume there was no actual meal, but it's not like vader had to go to all that trouble in the first place of setting out an entire banquet table with proper containers and utensils. just because that was lando's pretext to bring them to vader does not necessitate actually having a table set. darth vader could have had them led into any other room with boba fett and stormtroopers waiting to just arrest them right away. instead, as we can see in the second screencap, (over lando's shoulder and leia's bun), vader did sit down at the head of the table, waiting for his prey to join him. and i swear, in one of the earlier drafts of empire's screenplay there is actually a scene showing their awkward meal together. or rather, han and leia being served food and drinks while darth vader just sits there, watching evilly, explaining his great villainous plan to use them to trap luke. it's like dr. evil making austin and vanessa sit down at his table in the first austin powers movie. darth vader really did always live for drama

ep. VI: return of the jedi--leia telling han that she loves luke, but not that way. he's her brother, silly! as if this is something they all knew all along, with zero follow-up explanation. you can just see han wordlessly processing this bombshell of brand new information through his facial expressions alone. (this lasts so long that i wouldn't even count it were it not likely overshadowed by everything else in the ending of rotj.)

wh-what did you say? your brother? since when?

wait-wait-wait. i've seen you mouth kissing luke right in front of me before. i'm so confused now.

just what kind of weirdo family have i gotten myself mixed up with here?

oh, well, she's only kissing me now. that's good enough, i guess. maybe?

hey, as long as you do love me and luke in different ways ...

i don't know much about families, but i've heard they all have their weird traditions. so who am i to judge you, babe? as long as we're together now, that's all that matters.

#swedit #star wars #anakin skywalker #darth vader #padme amidala #lando calrissian #chewbacca #han solo #leia organa #yes i did use very specific adjectives to exclude most of the st #tho i do think there's some funny intentional and more overt humor in the jj saga #tlj was more marvel-like humor which was its real greatest sin #tumblr won't let you do a numbered list in descending order so just imagine it's a top 5 that way #(c)lsb

[twinkalicious]

no cause the fact that richter thought alucard was a myth is absolutely killing me. he grew up hearing stories of his ancestors' heroism, but for some reason a central figure of those stories was merely a legend to him, an immortal fantasy creature who he never got to meet. honestly i'm willing to bet his own mother and grandfather and any other belmonts before them didn't either. they only told the stories of defeating dracula as their parents did before them, thinking them dramatized and never literal. it became a game of telephone, with each person doubting the existence of a friendly dhampir ally more and more because alucard wasn't there to corroborate it. alucard separated himself from the belmonts at some point. he wasn't there to see trevor and sypha's lineage despite the fact that they merged their houses and literally founded a city together. speculating the when and why is going to drive me absolutely insane, you don't understand.

#i like to think he got sick of watching them all grow old and die #like maybe after he watches trevor and sypha's babies and grandbabies die he says ok i cant keep doing this #dozens and dozens of mortals who all have trevors humor and syphas whit and their eyes and their hair and their faces all bleeding together #alucard probably left after the first few generations because he knew he couldnt keep doing it over and over again #he couldnt lose them time and time again #the fact that richter has trevor's face and sypha's eyes is going to be a problem i think #trephacard #i am feeling angst in this chillis tonight they had BETTER EXPLAIN when and why alucard broke away from the belmont/belnades line #castlevania nocturne #AND ANOTHER THING #wonder if alucard will feel any misplaced guilt about not being there to protect the belmont descendants and their loved ones #god i hope im wrong and richter was just the outlier in not meeting the immortal family friend #also known as the belmonts' living family heirloom that i lowkey headcanon him as 😭

[theamityelf]

In-Universe Descendants Memes, Part 3

#disney descendants #in universe memes #character tweets #humor #long post #uma daughter of ursula #harry hook #huma #anti fairy godmother #anti king beast #mal bertha #evie grimhilde #li lonnie #king ben florian #this has been sitting in my drafts forever #so i decided to post it #freddie facilier

[plushietheplushbearcreature]

Rolfe and Earl reaction.

(CW: Suggestive humor)

"Don't be so crude!"

#rockafire explosion #rolfe dewolfe #earl schmerle #rockafire explosion moon #rockafire explosion sun #rock afire explosion #rockafire fanart #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #mr.moon #mr.sun #dca descendant! au #descendant! sun #descendant! moon #dca au #suggestive humor #cw suggestive humor #tw suggestive humor #sun x moon #mr.moon x mr.sun #my art

[hexenwrites]

Mal: All of your existences are confusing. The Gang: How so? Mal: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

#mal #disney descendants #isle of the lost #isle of the lost incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #mal after she finds out she's adopted tiny henchman wannabes #diego will be so impressed she's sure #when they stop ignoring eachother and he ditches his cousin to hang out again #mal is certian #mal's a good leader... most of the time. #humor #she hasn't learned to not talk like her mother yet.. #isle life #hexenwrites

[chamerionwrites]

I am once again asking the terminally online to stop posting nazi shit because you think it's a funny meme

#in descending order of Fucks I Currently Have To Give i will #(1) check your blog find posts about trans rights billionaires evil etc and sigh in profound irritation #(2) block you immediately without bothering to check #or (3) check your blog see that you're not a nazi and block you anyway for being annoying #(also. even apart from politics. if your sense of humor revolves around copy pasting wojacks #then i'm sorry but you are among the most unoriginal and unfunny people on earth) #my posts

[violetrose-art]

Dinner With the Villains - Maleficent is Back (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1271701892-dinner-with-the-villains-maleficent-is-back?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=ReillyKuhn&wp_originator=3mKV2Mt0EoH5RHmXDgfOV%2BDJ7bPdRfYltP9gmCtC2sAazPYEhATpygQaoEc%2BlgP8zoptrvbKxqLLfYLD9A%2BO5SQoqqJQZHuiVhgMZA%2B6d%2FF92fiOtr1mCPVtJYdkwsrZ In order for their families to get along and make peace, Mal and Ben decide to hold a family dinner party with their parents so they can all get to know each other better.

#ben #cheyennejackson #descendants #disneydescendants #dovecameron #family #friendship #hadeficent #hades #hadesxmaleficent #humor #kingbeast #kristinchenoweth #love #mal #malbertha #maleficent #queenbelle #romance #general-fiction #books #wattpad #amreading

[boborock789]

The Futuristic Four basically are when 2 disney channel kids and disney XD kids become friends.

#violet watched descendants and never looked back #live action disney xd have broken wilbur's sense of humor #the gang often hear penny singing hannah montana songs under her breathe #hiro likes both channels equally #despite this they all know high school musical songs by heart #wilbur is phil from phil from the future #wilbur robinson #penny forrester #violet parr #hiro hamada #futuristic four headcanon #futuristic four

[humaforever]

So let me get this straight, they made Hades a teenager and he just happens to be going to school with his also teenage, possible niece, Uylanna. Nice guys, that really makes a lot of sense.

#Hades should not be a teenager! #Ursula is related to Poseidon this is canon by now #maybe her sisters not tho #i sincerely doubt it #maybe for the sake of my sanity and the humor #Ursula has two sisters but she's the only on that's a descendant of Poseidon #that's why they're so bitter #rise of red

[jazzywazzy89]

Rereading The Summoning for update reasons. Realizing a few things, first how far I've come as a writer, second no one stays dead in this fic, third this fic has an insane number of pairings and potential pairings, and lastly because it's been years since I updated it may feel like a different fic just because I have more characters to work with that weren't present in canon when this fic was written. In any case the way I'm laughing and nostalgic during this reread is just entertaining me right now.

#bonnnie bennett #klaus mikaelson #klonnie #lmao #this fic descends into chaos and humor so quickly #also klaus is hella petty to everyone in the present and I do not blame him #what even was this fic #i cannot

[ginnyrules27]

I know it’ll likely change if/when more guests are announced but I just find it funny that Mitchell’s under Dan’s photo considering they played father and son in Descendants. 

Also, since there are 10 guests so far, why not two rows of five instead of one row of six and one row of four? 

#disney's descendants #mitchell hope #dan payne #dreamitcon #bttmw2 #rostercon #my sense of humor is odd I know #maybe I'm just giddy about three announcements after a small drought of no info

[aerial-jace]

There’s a bit of a difference between skeletons being in such poor condition that archeologists cannot tell the sex, and the fact that when skeletons are in good condition sex is easily observable. I fucking despair that you’re about to graduate and you cannot tell the difference between the two circumstances

Why yes, I can tell the difference. We were talking, afterall, about a hypothetical future in which taphonomic processes and just general decay of the living matter in the bone tissue is going to take place! Did you even think before sending in this ask? You're almost as dumb as the person who said coffins exist now implying they didn't in the past.

#to be completely fair to you #I've excavated in the maya area and most burials are directly on the ground which because the ground is acidic does accelerate the process #coffins and funerary urns and the like do help but decay processes aren't entirely averted #so yeah try harder #I'm only humoring you because I went to see Wakanda Forever today #and I came out of the cinema pleasantly surprised so I'm in a good mood #completely off topic but I was so relieved that movie didn't pull an ancient aliens #it would've been so easy to make the villains atlanteans or some shit #but they didn't! it was a postclassic yucatec kingdom that descended into the water rather than emerge from it! #hollywood be hollywood and marvel be marvel #but it was much better than I expected!

[evilroachindustrial]

Really looking forward to spending my thirties and middle age being illegal in two dozen states.

#If you can't tell I've descended into the pitch black gallows humor of the grieving process

[hexenwrites]

Carlos: Hey, what are you reading? Mal: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself. Evie: Impressive! I must have it for myself! Diego: So it’s just a Notebook? Mal: It’s just a Notebook.

#mal #carlos de vil #diego de vil #evie #evie grimhilde #disney descendants #isle of the lost #isle of the lost incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #mal's an asshole #diego is use to mal's humor #carlos should have known better #evie is a bit of an idiot sometimes #carvie #cousins #bestfriends #mal pines #hexenwrites

[thewordwideweb]

Nieces and nephews

A friend of mine went on social media recently to post a picture of her newborn niece. Cute kid. You all know what nieces and nephews are, right?

Wanna bet?

“Nephew” and “niece” are the Words of the Day. Today, of course, a nephew or niece is the child of your brother or sister. But until the early 1600’s, both “nephew” and “niece” meant a grandchild! (Or any of your descendants other than your own child, including nieces and nephews.)

Nephew and niece came down to us through the centuries from French and Latin. The Old French “neveu” for nephew and “nece” for niece were derived from Latin “nepos” and “neptis,” respectively (or “nepotem” for either). And all those words commonly meant grandson or granddaughter. “Descendant” – male or female – was a secondary meaning.

So, how did your own grandchild turn into the child of a relative? Well, we don’t know for sure, but you may want to blame it on the Roman Catholic Church. Since popes couldn’t marry, any illegitimate sons they might have (holy) fathered tended to be referred to with a wink and a nod as his “nephews.” A number of popes, possibly starting with Sixtus IV in the late 1400’s, granted special favors and privileges to members of his family, his “nepotem.” That’s where we get the word “nepotism.” And it’s possibly when nephews started commonly being referred to as children instead of grandchildren.

#word of the day #words #language #humor #niece #nephew #grandchildren #roman catholic church #nepotism #descendants