Klaus: Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep?
Five: Sometimes I close my eyes when I sneeze
i don’t know how that happened but now everyone keeps teasing me about loving diego from tua and i’m sad hdhdhd
example below (plus other verbal confrontations that happened earlier)
eudora, filling hospital forms: what’s your middle name
diego, concussed: danger
Goodbye Before a Mission
Imagine: Your boyfriend Diego Hargreeves and you are on a mission with his superhero siblings. After everyone establishes the plan and splits up, Diego gives you a smack on your ass as he passes by. He looks back at you and winks. You blow him a kiss. You’ve never met such a fiery man in your life before, and you love him for it.
what do u think ppl think when they see diego walking around in his tactical gear… like, industrial goth teas maybe
It still bothers me that the Hargreeves children got half an hour for fun a week
half an hour, people
Luther: I pulled you over because you have four people on a single moped.
Diego: Wait, four?
Allison: oh my god Klaus fell off
when patch asked diego what was wrong and all he can say is “i don’t know how to” before he just trails off …😔 i really wld have loved to have seen her more. nd honestly i rly enjoyed watched her and diego interact. writers r so stupid for killing patch like what was the point.? also like.. if i was patch n my ex boyfriend just kept showing up n crying on my doorstep i’d be done, how’d she put up w that lol. honestly tho if they had kept her alive i feel like the writers would have done her dirty 🙄
this is so cuteee!!!!! i changed it a little bit to make a little more sense, but let me know if it wasn’t what you wanted.
If there was ever something the whole world could agree on, it would be that Allison Hargreeves hated Y/N Y/L/N. It wasn’t anything the girl did, Allison just knew that she would be trouble. So when Y/N started dating her brother? Allison had never been more upset in her life.
“Princesa, come back.” Diego whined, making grabby hands at his girlfriend, who was currently trying to leave his bed.
“I can’t, as much as I want to,” she giggled, pecking his nose. “I promised Grace I would help her make breakfast.”
“But she can do it by herself.” Diego’s iron grip on her waist didn’t loosen.
“I’ll make your famous pancakes.” She whispered, erupting in laughter when he swiftly let go.
“Promise?” He looked up at her and, somehow, they both knew this wasn’t about the pancakes.
She looked him dead in the eye, both of hers holding so much love for him. “I promise.”
Diego sighed, coming back to the house he had so desperately tried to escape had drained him. Not to mention, being here without Y/N made everything so much harder. He still, to this day couldn’t understand what happened. Everything was fine, wonderful even, but then she just left. No note, no goodbye, it was like she wasn’t even there in the first place. She promised him, promised that she would stay and love him. But maybe he was right, he was never really worthy of that.
“I’m coming Grace,” Y/N laughed, embarrassed she was late. “Oh, I’m sorry!”
Bumping into Allison was something Y/N never wanted to do, but completely flooring her? Y/N was mortified. Allison got up, ignoring her hand before staring at Y/N.
“I heard a rumor Diego cheated on you.”
Y/N blinked, her eyes quickly watering. How could he do that? He knew her ex did that to her, that’s why he was willing to take it slow. Maybe she went too slow and he got bored, had to find someone else to do what she couldn’t. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she bolted out of the house.
Diego walked up to his room, letting the nostalgia fill up his senses before something caught his eye. Wrinkled and crumpled up on floor, a red sweater sat in the corner of his room. Y/N had left it the day she left. He grabbed it holding it to his face, while he sank to the floor.
“Diego! Come down stairs!”
He left the sweater on the floor before walking downstairs, freezing in place when he saw who was next to his sister.
She folded her arms to her chest, rolling her eyes. “Don’t act so surprised, I cared about him too.” She replied coldly.
Diego bristled. “What are you doing here? You don’t have any right to be here after what you did!”
“What I did?” She scoffed. “You cheated on me Diego! You broke my heart and still pretended you cared about me.”
Her voice raised and as tears dripped down her cheeks, she wiped them away with her sweater.
“You know, you almost had me fooled,” she laughed bitterly. “But I was just something to pass the time, wasn’t I!”
“What? I– I didn’t cheat on you, what are you talking about?” Diego choked.
Y/N looked like she was about to explode. She stomped up to him, banging her fists against his chest, not hard enough to hurt, she still loved him.
“You’re a coward!” She screamed.
Diego glanced at Allison, her guilty face was all it took for things to click into place. His arms wrapped around the girl he loved, who had stopped hitting him, and was now sobbing in his chest.
His whispered sweet nothings in her ear, stroking her hair. He hugged her tightly before letting go slightly so he could talk to her.
“I didn’t cheat on you, you heard a rumor.”
Recognition clicked in Y/N’s brain and she leapt into his arms.
“I’m so sorry, I just left you and I promised I wouldn’t, I’m a horrible person! I just thought–”
He interrupted her with a kiss.
A/N: Yay another request!! I tried to make this one as fluffy and wonderful as you are anon! Hope it’s everything you’ve ever wanted ~Keep
Pairing: Diego x Reader
Summary: Diego stutters for the first time in front of you and basically is a dumbass.
Warnings: swearing, that’s about it, fluff
Diego hadn’t been dating you that long. So, when the two of you got in your first fight, he still thought he could handle it.
First off, it was terrible when you were mad at him. He figured that out quick. You didn’t like it either, you found that out quick too.
Second, you were a quiet kind of angry. Which was bad. Very bad. He felt like he’d definitely stutter when he went to talk. The open silence was the perfect stage for him to trip over. Which led him to the third thing.
You hadn’t heard him stutter.
He’d played it off pretty well the times he’d been nervous, you two had never been in a fight before, and there simply was no other reason for him to stutter.
Not until now.
He looked at you, sitting there on the couch, blank eyes staring at the TV screen. He should go talk to you.
But what if he stuttered?
He shook the thoughts from his head, he’d been careful so far. There was no way he would now.
“Y/N,” You didn’t raise your eyes from the TV, but your head tilted in his direction. It was all he needed. “Baby come on I’m sorry,” You were his weakness, he knew that already, you knew that already. So him having to apologize isn’t what threw him off. No it was when you looked at him.
You’d had a hold on him since the day you met. You smile, your laugh, it was enough to drive him wild. But what hit him the most were your eyes. They held so much of your personality and soul, he found himself getting lost in them one too many times.
And now they were filled with tears.
“B-baby pl-please,” He stuttered, then immediately his eyes widened. He could see the confusion in your eyes which was quickly replaced with understanding. He stuttered, and now you knew. Diego clenched his fists so they wouldn’t shake in front of you. He looked down, he couldn’t look in your eyes, not when tears were forming in his own. He was weak. Reginald always said so. His stutter was just the icing on the cake. You were going to break up with him for sure. He couldn’t take care of you, he was weak. Reginald was right. The two of you had gotten in a fight, his fault of course, and now you knew he stuttered too. He started toward the door, sure that’s where you were going to send him anyways.
“Diego where do you think you’re going?” Your voice caused him to stop. He heard you get up and the steady rhythm of your footsteps until he could feel your body heat behind him.
“Aw-away..” He scraped his fingers through his hair, couldn’t he get himself together enough to leave?
“Why?” You put a soft hand on his shoulder, spinning him around to face you. You reached up, wiping a stray tear off his cheek. Why weren’t you still mad at him?
“C-cause…” He trailed off, just wanting to look in your eyes for a few seconds more. Then it clicked. “Y-you kn-knew,” You nodded gently, going to your tippy toes to kiss both his cheeks.
“I was just waiting for you to tell me, or if it came up. One of the two.” He looked at you again, his world. You’d known all along. He cupped your face in his hands, leaning down to gently press his lips to yours. You loved the warmth that spread all the way down to your toes from his kisses.
“You’re…You’re n-not m-mad?” You shook your head.
“No Diego, everyone says things they don’t mean. Couples get in fights all the time. We’re no different.” The knot in his chest was finally relaxing, aided by your warm smile.
“Diego promise me something.” You cut him off, stroking your thumb over his rough cheek.
“Whatever Reginald said or did to you…promise me it means nothing. Promise me that he was a liar and that you don’t have to be the product of your parents. Please?” He wiped away stray tears that floated down your cheeks, nodding silently. “I know…I know it’ll be a process it’s not magic but…say it outloud for me?” He took a deep breath, kissing your left cheek.
“It m-m-means n-nothing,” He kissed your right cheek.
“He w-was a li-liar,” He kissed the top of your nose.
“I’m n-not the pr-product of him,” He kissed your forehead, using the next breath to fill his lungs.
“M-my st-stutter doesn-n’t m-make…” You looked up at him, waiting patiently. You were always so patient with him. He knew he could say it, and maybe believe it was true. Anything could be true if you kept looking at him like that forever.
“M-my st-stutter doesn’t m-make m-me w-w-weak,” He leaned to press his lips to yours, tasting your sweet kiss.
“Of course it doesn’t,” You whispered, brushing your lips against his. “You’re the strongest man I know. That includes when you’re strong enough to ask for help.” Diego pulled you in his arms, burying his face in your hair.
He knew he didn’t like fighting with you and that he hated that you were a quiet angry. But he also knew he was deeply, deeply in love with you.
Diego Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) One-Shot from prompt
A/N: I received an Anon request for prompt 14 - “Everything that’s come out of your mouth has been lies” from the “100 Prompts of Angst” list. It was for either Diego Hargreeves or Matt Murdock and while I’m sure I could get an incredibly angsty Matt story with this, a Diego one popped in my head first.
As you finish up with a simple store break-in, Diego shows up to stop you. Only this crime is nothing compared to what else is happening in the city that night…
Warnings: Language and violence. Spoiler free though.
If you want to be on my tag list for this or any character just let me know!
Everything was going
according to plan which was mildly surprising considering how many
people were involved.
After sneaking into the electronics store, you grabbed everything you could carry. Not that any of it would make you rich, but a buck is a buck and you didn’t see much point in completely wasting a good break-in.
And, although it went against everything in your nature, you made sure to trip the alarm on your way back out.
Turning with a satisfied smirk, you prepared to disappear into the night. A dagger flying out of nowhere and grazing your arm dumped your plan on its head.
“You can’t leave now, the fun’s about to begin.”
Umbrella Academy Puberty Headcanons
Didn’t beef up until he was around 16; until then he was just a super-strong lanky beanpole.
Always wore ill-fitting clothes because he was constantly outgrowing them
Hit his growth spurt first but his voice dropped last
Still tried to put on his “leader voice” but everyone just made fun of him
Metabolism for days
Got hairy first: gave the others fake tips on how to grow body hair (canonically told Klaus that licking a 9 volt battery would give him pubes)
It was literally one chest hair
Extra hair = extra smelly, but he was too proud to admit it. Allison had to rumor him to start wearing deodorant.
Tried to grow a “beard” at age 15 but Reginald made him shave it (one of his only good parenting decisions)
Stuffed his pants on the daily until he was 16
Started wearing a training bra before Vanya and she absolutely milked it for attention. She’d always “accidentally” let the strap fall
Also started wearing makeup first; looked like an absolute clown for a few years until she got it right. To be fair, it was the early 2000s.
Reginald forced her to straighten her hair with relaxer for a good few years; when she left home she finally got her curls back
before it got trendy
She got her first period on a mission and all the stupid boys made fun of her. She locked herself in her room and cried. When she woke up there was a box of Always, a heating pad, pain killers and chocolate at the foot of her bed. And a note from Vanya that said “boyz r dumb xD” (it was 2003).
Licked a 9 volt battery at age 8 but he still didn’t grow any facial or body hair until age 18
Stole all of Allison’s old bras whenever she went up a size (but only the fun ones). Same with her skirts and pretty much all of her clothes.
Breaking his jaw fucked up his teeth too, so he wore braces from ages 12-16
The horniest and the reason all of Vanya’s hand lotion (violin blisters!) kept going missing Did not need to stuff his pants
He and Luther grew at the same rate because twins; height first, then voice
but Five poofed off into the apocalypse so they never noticed
Metabolism for days just like his twin bro :)
They were literally always hungry; frequent secret late night twin peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich parties because they have the same taste buds
Vanya would join in when she had period cravings. That’s how she knew it was his favorite </3
His voice dropped first, but he was so shy and quiet that they didn’t even realize right away
The bentacles went through puberty with him. Mood swings and all.
The bentacles went into heat
Emo as fuck; put a white streaks in his hair and made Allison rumor Reginald into not seeing it
Had the worst mood swings
Jealous of Allison’s titties; she wore push-up bras until she was 16 (and realized no one cared)
But she got her period first so at least she had that… until she started getting it twice a month with the worst cramps and cravings
Horrible cystic acne; Allison taught her how to cover it up with concealer but that just made it worse
Finally she went on Accutane and it was Rough™ but worth it in the end, but by then everyone was leaving anyway.
She found out years later that it was actually all due to endometriosis. Woops.
Hey, sorry it took a while, but I hope you like it! <3
Sometimes Diego wonders why on Earth he decided to move back in the Academy.
Sure, they stopped the Apocalypse and sure, their father is six feet under, but honestly. Look at this shit.
“Is that blood?” he asks Klaus, deceptively calm, because his brother is covered head to toe in it and leaving a bloody trail behind him as he trudges across the living room. Diego would be worried, but if the blood were Klaus’, there’s no way he’d be walking.