#dont do what ive done unless you gotta

[suffarustuffaru]

What are your least favorite ships? Not counting Subaru x one of the minors (i sadly have seen some around)

whew...... least favorite ships..... now thats a bold question HAH and i may have some. ah. Bold answers hah.

im generally pretty open to most ships, its just a matter of like. either i already liked the ship / was really into the ship or im more neutral about it and you just gotta convince me why i should at least give it a shot or be like "this could be good in certain circumstances". i dont usually care if a ship is toxic or "problematic" per say bc 1. this is rezero and sooo so many ships in this show arent 100% healthy lbr and 2. i will like a ship if its like. complex, and if theres problematic stuff, then its done for a reason - like it's not just there willy nilly. but thats just my personal feelings on it yep!! :o fiction is different from real life and all that.

more under the cut!!

that being said like. you know, kinda like you said - the obvious answers would be like subaru x any minors and just any sort of incest ships bc like. i do not see the point of it. that and you know, like a lot of people, i tend to avoid these sorts of ships with 99.999% of fandoms im in. i aint here for incest or shipping adults with minors. and i know theres like fandoms like game of thrones where this sort of thing IS relevant in the story, but with rezero - like it just is not relevant here and adds nothing unless youre into that. i do get that fictional stuff is different from real life and its not necessarily an indication of someone's character. i also definitely know this bc ive cowritten a gluttony if selfcest fic for this fandom as a very extreme crack treated seriously story hahh. but yeah like. ships between family and adult x minor are Not For Me in this fandom. i dont feel like it adds anything to the story and its also like Really out of character.

granted, i cant really say much on that bc ive written and posted selfcest for this fandom but like. in my defense, i did way too much research for that fic (..............i researched a lot of psychology stuff) and also gluttonybaru is Canonically Not Normal about subaru. the more you think about gluttonybaru the worse he gets HAH. like. dude has canonically kissed subaru via emilia's book of the dead....................

but obviously ofc i do not condone any of this ^^^^ in real life.

anyway on a lighter note!! im not a huge fan of most ships between subaru and *insert a female side character here*. like im not a big fan of like. subaru x anastasia, subaru x priscilla, subaru x elsa, subaru x yorna, subaru x pandora, like... the list can get kinda long bc people in this fandom in certain english spaces like to ship him with like any girl ever, it feels like sometimes. it gets to the point where sometimes i feel like subaru is just the self-insert to be shipped with women that people have the hots for.

like with most content about these sorts of ships, its hard for me to see much point to it - and there IS potential there. there is almost always potential in so many different tropes and ships, and theres some cool fanart in this fandom with these ships!! but you know, i hear about people suggesting ideas with these ships or writing fic about these ships and its just not my cup of tea bc it really sacrifices the characterization of all these women. and elsa is like already sexualized enough okay and its almost never nuanced and taking into account her backstory :( like i could be convinced to ship these ships with like idk 20k to 200k words of relationship and character development, but as it stands i personally really dont like them hah ;-;;; and also priscilla is clearly more into women okay (she canonically talks about how men are only allowed to fantasize about her and nothing more or she'll cut off their heads!!) and anastasia seems more into like julius and priscilla so like. HAH.

subaru x crusch is not something im a big fan of but im pretty open to it hah, i just havent seen much fancontent about them that really piques my interest :,)

anyway i also just. dont like the idea of taking a gay subaru ship and genderbending only one of them due to homophobia. and ill emphasize and underline that last part - due to homophobia - bc ive seen really good genderbend subaru content in this fandom where subarus afab and shipped with like julius or reinhard or something and there was clear effort and passion put into it!! and i do think its interesting thinking about how genderbend aus would affect this sort of thing for sure <3 i really really enjoy seeing the well made genderbend aus in this fandom!!

but i see other people suggesting fic ideas or making fics sometimes where its like fem subaru x male side character or like now-fem side character x subaru but it like its only clearly done bc some people just cant ship a gay ship, they gotta make it straight and then not put effort into thinking how this would change more things. and the female character in the duo now is Especially terribly out of character :(( the homophobia is just so so irritating to me. i go on the fic reddit thread sometimes and i see stuff like. i think once i saw a thread about someone requesting ottosuba and someone else immediately went "oh, with femotto right!!" like. ...... please. they are a gay ship :,,,))))))) let them be gay Sometimes at least!! maybe we can genderbend both of them sometimes??? :,)))

also on a less serious note HAH ok like..... ok hear me out, dont kill me for saying this either, but - fredotto. frederica and otto. and - ok dont get me wrong, i think theyd be really really interesting for multiple reasons, right. and ive seen some cute fancontent on them that i liked a lot!! so i really do think they have lots of potential!! like theres the obvious "otto had a crush on a cat as a child and frederica's a cat demihuman", then theres the other obvious fact of otto and frederica being connected via garfiel being their brother/brother figure, and also like personality/temperament wise they could bounce off of each other in interesting ways but like.

the thing with fredotto is that i feel like in english fandom its treated as the "more likely" otto ship to happen, at times. which is Absurd to me after studying otto's lore way too hard bc not only is this dude just way too obsessed with subaru (like regardless of whether you view it as platonic or romantic or not, ottos like Down Bad either way LMAO i just dont see him having eyes for anyone else at this rate)... but also otto OPENLY ADMITS that he'd be bad in a relationship with a woman. like im really sorry but frederica would probably be Too Good for him. and he would Know That.

otto………. can you specify what “the most important thing” is. like do you mean ONLY your career or—

anyway so its like. you want me to believe that otto "i could never be in a relationship with a woman as i am now" suwen. could date a woman????? right now???? i dont think so LMAOO. like i would feel BAD shipping a woman with otto bc barely anyone deserves otto, ok. idk you might be going "suffaru arent you kinda mean to otto" but like being an otto fan also means being his biggest hater and dude is just super super cringe. and even if he had a crush, the chances of him voicing it is Probably Low.

like ships like fredotto, again, need like idk maybe like a few thousand words of development At Least on both ends, bc frederica?? we barely know anything about her at the moment, so its Really hard to approach a ship like this in an in-depth manner right now. like id love to explore fredotto!! id love to learn more about frederica!! id love to go crazy with this ship!! but yeah its definitely kinda hard bc we barely know anything on frederica :< :( and yeah once again. i think shes too good for otto. i think almost every woman is too good for otto. if youre shipping a woman especially with otto you gotta jump through hoops to Really convince me on this HAH. bc i think shipping him with men is just gonna lead to two different possibilities (codependency. and/or otto trying to femme fatale his way through life 👍)

yeah anyway jokes aside. fredotto at worst feels like just a case of pairing the spares and like Clearly they must only be in a straight ship or something HAH.... like i would love to read/write extensive relationship development on them though ;-;;; they got good potential, youd just have to put in the work for me to Believe that they could happen ;-;;;; but most fredotto english fic content atm is just them already being a Thing in the background like ;-;;; this would Not Happen from either of them without development!!!

also i have some fredotto tumblr posts floating around with what i Think would be fun to do with their dynamic…. idk where they are rn hah but yep i think they got potential :,) !!

anyway HAH i hope you did not mind reading about my least favorite ships in this fandom bc this is everything thats coming to my mind now 👍

#rezero #re:zero #ask #i hope all of my explanations here made sense!!! i mean no offense with any of this these are my opinions!!

[pissedpupp]

heyhey i’m another disabled wheelchair user into omo and holding and all that, but i often find that my disabilities get in the way of letting me enjoy it or do it (ie: cant drink enough to get desperate, or my bladder will lock up and not let me pee when it’s time) how do you,, , like navigate stuff like that? i really wanna enjoy this kink but my body cockblocks me😭

wooo boy okay so theres a few things!

part of it for me is like, reframing. bc im not gonna be able to enact most kinks in the ways that able bodied people do so instead of hating that *i* cant do the kink, i rework the kink to fit me. like, i get REAL nauseaus REALLY easily, specifically i get ut really bad from water 🙃 so i will take it slow, or take some zofran or jist drink something else entirely.

another example is im on a medication that helps my kidneys retain water, but that means i dont really get super filled up from the amounts of water it might for an able bodied person. and on top of it all before this developed as a kink i was in pevlic floor physical therapy for urgency and pissing my pants, which kinda gave me some advantages in pissing myself on purpose

like i was told that after toddlerhood, you are ALWAYS choosing to pee. unless you have a disorder or syndrome that specifically affects your urinary tract, you are always choosing to pee. most people are just conditioned on when its acceptable to pee. so like, for example. someone who has REALLY bad urgency right before they get to the toilet has subconsciously ttained themselves to start to pee before they sit down, like a self fulfilling prophecy. if you go "oh god im not gonna make it" youre basically dooming youself. and if you do that often, youve now conditioned yourself, to the point that seeing a toilet right in front of you will give your body subconscious cues ro start to go. so someone who is trying to curb the issue i just mentioned would just wait a few seconds, or a few minutes, before sitting and peeing. (and do control exercises like kegals) until its deconditioned.

so all that being said! something im working on now is that i previously had like, 5-10 minutes after sex where i physically COULD NOT pee. and i will lose urgency while getting stimulated, so like. kinda awful for omo and related things. so ive been doing like, extremely intense (for me) and very long (many hours) holds and then sort of conditioning myself, im into edging, so ill get to the point of bursting, let out a controlled leak and then edge. or edge and then push on my bladder to be forced to leak. over and over, until either im so lost in arousal that ill be able to force myself to piss while i orgasm, or im out of pee and can now orgasm anyway. (for right now, this all happens while im sat on the toilet. less mess, and it gives my subconscious the cue to pee)

and ive made some progress! i had a few open hours and followed omo dungeon and then forved out a few big leaks while masturbating and then pissed for a VERY long time. im not anywhere near done, so if i do end up being able to pee during a sexual act its the smalled of streams. i swear i peed for a solid 90 seconds straight last night

ANYWAYS. you have to accommodate yourself. figure out what really works for you. personally soda doesnt make me have to pee but sweet tea REALLY does. i probably cant make a huge habit out of pissing myself uncontrollably because i spent a lot of time unlearning it, and while the idea of accidentally pissing myself without meaning sounds hot, as someone who has pissed themselves in public its just. real embarrassing. not in a cute way. and now that its a kink? you gotta have everyone who witnessing it give enthusiastic consent. and having genuine bladder issues really fucking sucks for like, being an adult lmao.

and so, if i decide to make this kink a regular thing in doing its gonna be a lot of pretending to wet myself, like getting to bursting but not actually truly losing control. a lot of practicing kink is actually just improv and acting im sorry to say 😬

if you wanna talk more ab it feel free to ask more questions! or dm me! im an open book! and your situation is most likely different from mine mechanically. but i can probably help you try to navigate it, might be better to have more specifics before i can give more pointed advice anyways.

as always! consent is key, dont do things that can alter your life outside the scene, and be kind to yourself if you cant fullfil the kink exactly how you want.

#anon ask #disability and kink #advice #no for real if you have more questions i am totally open !! 🖤 #good luck on your journey #:)

[neutrallyobsessed]

EPISODE 4!!!!!!!!!! COMOOO NO TE ENTERASTE TODAVIA????*

FEET OF SINCERITY

this is visuals are fucking hilarious ngl lmaooo

oh the two face-ness we love to see it!! that reminds me that i wanna see joan recieving a text from topher... yknow, they'd have each others phone numbers~~ uwu♥

oh there WAS a joke about venemous being different from poisonous or whatever MMMMMM ANYWAYS HIM AAAAAAHAJDSJHAHSGH- AY BOLUDOOO AAAAA JSKSJKSJSKSJSK

HMMMM OK GOOD DAY FOR UHH YALL TOO! jjba5 reference ey? he dont have lungs either lolol

YOOOOOO JOANABE??? YEAHHH BABY THATS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR!! THATS WHATS ALL ABOUT WOOOOOOOrse than a disney cruise with extend family omg they're NOT holding back!!! GOOD!

YOURE LOOKING AT HIM! WITH YOUR EYES! THAT ARE BELOW YOUR EYEBROOOOOWS!!!!!!! xd

white jesus edition jsjsksjkjks but like jfk really is one note, he just has a different note each season hm aight :)

SAY WHAAAAAAAAAT

oh no now they're EDGING they are EDGING OUR COCKS WITH GANDHI AAAAAAA THIS IS KILLING MEEEEE

but joannnn girlieeee why you so insistant in taking you backkk topher darling youre from the reboob you know what you gotta do to have her understand that her place is with the misfits no one liiiikesss and that is so much better and whateverrrr

*(esta noche me la doy en la peraaaa)

SE VIENE LA FIESTA DE LA DIRECTORA DE LA SECUNDARIA DE CLONES, JUANA DE ARCOOO!!! SI!!! LA HIJA DE REMIL PUTA DE LA JUANA SE VA A MANDAR UNA JODA DE LA CHOTA DE SU ABUELO!!! VAMOS A TIRAR A ABE POR LA VENTANA!! TENEMOS PARA ESCAVIAR HASTA LOS MEDICAMENTOS DE SCUDWORTH!!! EL FORRO DEL DJ EDISON ENGANCHANDO TEMAS DEL AÑO DEL ORTOOO! LUCES DEL OJETE Y LA COMETRAPOS DE CLEO QUE PARTE LA TIERRA!!!

PREPARA EL CHAMUYO QUE LE VAS A ENCAJAR AL CORNUDO DE TU NOVIO Y VENITE!! NO TE QUEDES AFUERA PEDAZO DE CULO ROTO!!!!

(all of this was done with the keyboard ahre xd)

oh so the bleachers creatures are in the janitors closet? well im sure theres a vent or something so they can get into the real party hehe ;3

ok, bible-humping!JFK is actually the greatest thing it could happend to him, cause like- the bible is super violent and such and thats SO him i love it, its perfect!

Confucius, you really live up to your name because i'm hella confused on what you just said

OH NOOO im getting "best burger in the world" from regular show flashbackssss i dont know if im liking where this is heading!! ToT

OH YEAH THEM OLD CLONES DANCING LA MACARENA THATS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE!!

hell yea Harriet likes her boys MANLY, cause she's so straight yknow~

HELL YEA THE SEXY INTRO!!!♥♥♥

JESUS CRISTO USING HIS POWERS FOR GOOD!!! The good of underage drinking~ but thats for the new clones cause the old ones are 36, so they're legal to do whatever they want, except fucking the new clones unless theyre in a state where its legal, but its a cartoon so they all can do whetever crimes they want~~

OHHHH THEM CREATURES ARE MAAAAADDDD!!! WHAT WILL YOU DO?!

gasp!shush!

TRAITOR GETS WHAT HE DESERVES!!! HMMMMMMMM

OMG MARIE CURIE WITH THE CHICKEN HYDRANT GANDHI AAAAAAAA *EXPLODES IN A MILLION PIECES*

THE AMERICAN RIGHT TO BEAR A BEAR, ok the historical humor its just getting better and better omggg

WHAT IN SCIENCES NAME

AND MORE THAN A FRIEND TOO? EHH? CONCHA DE TU MADRE?

OH SHI- UMMM AHJAKSAKSJKASAKSDJH OKKKKKK HE'S- HE'S HERE AJAM YEP THATS- THATS BUFFUCIUS AJAJAJAJOH but like- its a deep moment woaH niceee

AND OH UM THAT TOO! REALLY GOOD DAY FOR CANDWORTH!

OH SHIT THEYRE IN THE FREEZER NOW! WITH GANDHIIII

Rating: VIERNES DE LA JUNGLA A TODO OJETE/10!

Topher Bus has appeared on screen for 57 seconds and listen mister, just because Joan isn't part of the group anymore that doesn't mean that YOU get to disappear from the show. You're going to BE BACK and have some more MOTHERFUCKIN SCREENTIME GODDAMMIT!!!

#clone high #liveblogging #clone high season 3

[md-confessions]

hey its me evil thad/doori nori/lizzyposting/whatever other goofy shit ive started here anon. i should probably make like a signature or something. ok but im here to talk about how like. human drone designs just kinda. dont work to me. like no shame to the people who make them but ive never really seen designs that truly. work to me?? like i havent really seen a human au that makes the fact they're humans feel.. important to the story. like i havent really seen a human au that makes the fact they're humans feel like a meaningful change.

ik its usually done to put the characters in a domestic environment but.. the drones already kinda copy humanities homework when it comes to the way they're society works for the most part. i think the reason they just dont work for me is mostly because i just. like how the drones look already? like im usually more of fan of characters that arent just. humans or animals compared to characters that are. ill always gravitate to the gobble gook before i go to the normal andy. unless they're a very non normal andy then ill prefer them. human md aus feel like if there was an ultrakill au that turned every character into a completely normal person to me. like they were cool before why did you do that...

also if every character is just like. white its even worse like not ONLY did you make then kinda boring to start off with but you made them even MORE boring by making them all one race what were you THINKING??????? i might not be a very big human au fan but ill PROUDLY STAND with the blasian uzi fans if it means i dont gotta see fucking emo snowman doppelganger looking uzi again jesus LORD blasian uzi save me. its like the race version of the "they would not fucking say that" image she would NOT look like that. ik i went into this saying no shame but if you have a human md au and all of the characters have a similar skintone going on PLEASE try and change up theyre skintones a BIT please im BEGGING on my KNEES fucking SAVE ME BLASIAN UZI AUGUUHUGHGHHGGHGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SAVE MEEEEE AUAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHim ending this. im gettign too passionate. i thingk my point is clear. maybe. ok maybe it isnt i dont care this is too long i QUIT

.

#md confessions #murder drones #uzi doorman

[clonehigh-takes]

sorry gotta send another fandom take

after reading a post on someone’s blog, i truly realized how insane tophabe is. first of all, everyone used to hate abe’s guts in 2020 for the whole cleo and joan thing back in season 1, which was justified. now the 2023 fandom has snapped around and loves abe, which i can see since season 2 is less focused on abe’s selfishness and denseness and instead decides to torture him so the viewers feel bad. this really makes me wonder how many people hated abe during season 1 and now love him in season 2. personally i didnt really hate season 1 abe (i still think the joan and cleo thing was shitty) but i do like abe more after season 2. i think its mostly because of the abe torture and partly because since all the hate is off abe, its finally cool to make and say positive stuff about him

moving onto topher, im not surprised hes popular. even i like him quite a bit (not as much as a lot of other characters though). chronically online short white boy who claims to be straight, his only friend is a boy who he manipulates and blackmails while claiming he has a crush on a girl, said crush having no evidence to prove it unless you squint, and canonically goes to therapy. yeah hes basically van gogh 2.0 where everyone projects onto him and gives him angst that just barely feels in line with the show. i dont hate topher but god damn the fandom really loves him. i made a whole post saying why i think hes so popular but long story short it was most likely because he had gained a fanbase while the show was dropping episodes weekly, and by the time episode 8 came along mostly everyone was too far deep to drop out of liking topher. part of me feels like this may have also happened to abe in season 1 if everyone didnt binge it instead of watching it weekly lmao

and then there’s tophabe itself. tons of fanart and fanfiction, definitely the most popular ship in the fandom atm, even more so than the canon lesbian couple from what ive seen. ive read a bit of tophabe fanfiction since its basically all thats on ao3 at this time, and i find it so interesting that a lot of it have the events of chapter 8 happen. those events have been the most despicable things topher has done, possibly the worst of anyone in the whole show. and many people tend to brush it off, use it as a way to show topher’s supposed crush on abe. what topher did is messed up, and people barely even acknowledge it. whats unfortunate is i can see why, even i dont normally think about how awful topher actually is whenever i think about him. the show itself basically brushed it off in episode 10, something i feel like they definitely shouldnt have done. the oversaturation of tophabe in the fandom also definitely helped wave off topher’s actions

sorry this kinda turned into a rant about topher, so i wont go any further with that. but i find it extremely interesting to see how the fandom has changed from 2020. gone from hating abe for being an indecisive teenager to using topher’s blackmailing attempt as a plot device in their tophabe fanfiction. absolutely astonishing.

okay what in the fucking bible did you just shit into my inbox

#clone high #clone high takes #ch topher #clone high topher #ch abe #clone high abe #tophabe #ship hate #i think #idfk #or care #bro wrote a biography l #i dont know how to REAAAD bro

[hikari-ni-naritai]

3 6 10 11 12 18 21 23 26 27 29 30 31 36 45 50 52 54 55 57 58 59 60 62 69 (nice) 74 76 86 87 90 95 97

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

man . theyre both kinda. painfully sweet. bubblegum i guess? i also like cotton candy tho its just hard to pick

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

i dotn know what like. most of these words mean. how are half of these related even. tomboy.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

man i fucked hard at dodgeball

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

these days shredded wheat

12. name of your favorite playlist?

the fuck is a playlist

18. ideal weather?

yknow, cloudy, warm, smells like its about to rain

21. obsession from childhood?

warriors cats babeyyyy. and bionicles

23. strange habits?

man i KNOW ive got some but i cant think what they are. i do this wrist flick manoeuver to crack it.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

if im actually out in the warm weather? take a nice walk maybe.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

yknow. i havent done it in ages but i really like doing jigsaw puzzles. maybe put some jazz on.

29. best way to bond with you?

i dunno honestly! i dont have an answer to this one. it takes a lot of time and effort i think.

30. places that you find sacred?

the woods. the woods the woods the woods you have no idea. the woods. its the woods.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

i would die if i tried to do either of those things

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

like...... charlie the unicorn i think.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy obv

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

god there was something that destroyed me but idr what it was. the hardest in recent memory was me trying to tell a REALLY really stupid joke that wont make sense to any of you. i did not manage to say it bc i was laughing too hard.

52. favorite font?

i absolutely do not have an opinion on this

54. what did you learn from your first job?

you know at mcdonalds in order to work the grill you have to be willing to put your arms under a hot piece of metal that drips boiling grease on you? thats what i learned.

55. favorite fairy tale?

what IS my favorite fairy tale....... we'll go with red riding hood bc her modern interpretations are always the cutest

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

damn what. uhh ok, having to rebuild my entire social life after the shit that happened a couple years ago, the several year process of going from hyperconservative christian to a . whatever the hell i am now. some kind of far left girl. and uhhhh. figuring out i was trans i guess? idk

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

four??? im good at ff14 raiding, im good at writing, im good at.... uhh... im pretty funny i think, annnddddd uhhh. i dont know that its a talent, but i like to think im good at making people feel safe talking to me.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

heh... guess i shotcha... uhh 'god im fucking tired'

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

ISEKAI OBVIOUSLY specifically something like slime 300 but ill take almost any of them.

62. seven characters you relate to?

SEVEN............ god.... uhh hanako ikezawa, hikari finalfantasy (im cheating), (god i got to ONE and already had to start cheating...) yumiella dolkness, man im tappin out. look at my list of ocs i put way more of myself into them than there could ever be in any other character

69 nice. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i feel like i know how i know most of my fun facts bc if i didnt i would not really know if i could believe them or not.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like 8 or 9 probably. i dont really go below a 5 so. its gotta be like migraine or vertebral artery dissection bad before im like 'i should really get some meds'. unless im doing it preemptively which ive done for like when ive got raid later.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

man fuckin SCALLOPED POTATOES BABEY

86. cookies or cupcakes?

the amount of qualifiers this question needs.... cupcakes tho probably.

87. your greatest fear?

dying.

90. luckiest mistake?

i mean most of my mistakes havent been lucky, the best i can think of is when i accidentally followed my girl @handinvampirichand and now we're mutuals with wildly different taste in things but we're cool.

95. favorite app on your phone?

i like tumblr

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

uhh mine, my moms, my moms house, my brother's, my dads. jg wentworth 877 CASH NOW. so thats 6

[avasmain69]

𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑??

FORMAT: ONESHOT

PAIRING: HANMA SHUJI X FEM! READER

WARNINGS: SMUT/NSFW, mentions of murder, kinda vulnerable Shuji, Virgin!Reader, fingering, unprotected sex, not full smut kinda just the start of it and the foreplay.

SUMMARY: Hanma is your best friend and it’s no secret that he’s been in love with you forever but he doesn’t believe you would want a man like him. You got tired of him not doing anything so you make your move, showing him that you love him more than anything, making him think that you truly are an angel from the heavens above.

He’s well aware of the things he has done, the crimes he’s committed, the people he’s killed. Shuji Hanma is no saint. You, however, he swears your an angel. The way you carry yourself. Your kindness that seems to have no bounds, even reaching out and making friends with someone like him. Before you, he didn’t believe he would ever find a women that would love him as he is. But he’s scared. He’s scared that if he admits the feelings he’s developed, he’ll ruin you. He knows that he’ll ruin you.

“Shuji, what’s going on? You haven’t said anything and you usually never shut up.”, you laugh slightly, showing that your genuinely worried but don’t want to make it awkward in case he doesn’t want to tell you. He can’t help but feel he doesn’t deserve to have you. Any man would be lucky to be yours, you’re absolutely beautiful, inside and out. “Nothin’ princess, just been thinking about some shit ‘s all.”, he moved his hand atop yours and sighs sadly. You know it’s not nothing, somethings bothering your Shuji and you don’t like it one bit. “Don’t pull that bullshit with me.” You pout, not liking how quiet and in his head he is.

He contemplates telling you about his thoughts so you’d stop nagging him but decided against it because he still doesn’t know what to do about his feelings. If it was anyone else, he would simply ghost you and run away like he’s done with all his other problems, but he can’t because it’s you and he would never do anything to hurt you. “Shuji”, you whine, dragging out the syllables in his name and placing a hand on his upper thigh. You know what you’re doing, your goal is to rile him up and make him act on his feelings. He groans laying his head upon the back of the leather couch that you’re sitting on. Your hand begins to slide towards his crotch but he catches it and sits up looking at you with raised eyebrows.

He didn’t expect this to happen when he showed up to see you today. You were now on his lap straddling him with your arms around his neck, playing with the tips of his hair. “Please kiss me.”, you whisper and Hanma honestly thinks he heard you wrong. “Huh?”, he pulls back confused and you take the chance to slam your lips into his. He kissed back with just as much fervor, he’s not willing to miss his chance. The palms of his hands gripping your ass and pulling you closer. When you pulled away, you were left breathless and he was aswell. His pupils are dialated and a sappy smile adorns his features.

“Please Shuji”, you whine while grinding down against his forming erection. “I need you”, he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He thinks seeing you like this might be his new favorite thing. “Yah? What do you need?”, he feigns innocence as you being to pout and turn red. “C‘mon, dont make me say it.”, you grumble, your sudden shyness only adding to his arousal. “You gotta use your words baby.”, Hanma coos, cupping your face and then sliding his thumb across your bottom lip.

It was alluring, the way you wrapped your lips around his thumb and proceeded to suck on it. “Ive never wanted anyone this bad”, you admit, cheeks flaring red and the grip you have on his shoulders tightens. “I’m not going to touch you unless you beg.”, Hanma taunts and with the way your face fell he honestly thought you were about to give up. Truthfully, he just needed to know that you wanted him as badly as he wants you. He needs to know that you wont regret this in the morning and only want to remain friends.

“Shuji f-fuck, please.. want you to be my first.”, you plead innocently as if you aren’t rubbing your clothed clit against him. Hanma smiles at you sweetly and it almost makes you question if your dreaming, “atta baby.”, the way you looked at him so desperately sends blood straight to his hardened cock. He is quick to stand up and throw you over his shoulder to take you to your bedroom. You whimper when his tattooed hand comes down hard on your ass. Once he makes it to the room, he tosses you down on the mattress gently and moves to hover over you.

His gaze flickering between your eyes and your soft and pink lips tells you exactly what he wants. You reach up and grip ths hair on the back of his head, pulling him down to meet you in a hungry kiss. You whimper when his tounge dances with yours and quickly takes dominance. “I can never seem to get enough of you.”, he whispers, cupping your face in his hand and staring down at you lovingly. Your response being cut off with a wanton moan when he brings his knee up to stimulate your clit, the fabric of your shorts not doing much to hide your wetness.

“Are you sure you want this?”, he questions, wanting to make sure your confident in your decision. “I love you Shuji, want you to make me feel good.”, he couldn’t help the shocked expression adorning his features but it quickly turns into one of pleasure as you slide your hand into his pants and begin stroking him. “I dreamed of your legs wrapped around my waist.”, he admits and doesn’t give you time to speak and he tugs at the end of your top, indicating that he wants it off.

It didn’t take long before you were both undressed and his long slender fingers were spitting your virgin cunt open. Your moans are nothing short of loud as Hanma has quickly learned how you like to be touched. His thumb rubs quick circles on your clit while working his fingers into you quicker. You can feel your release approaching quickly and Hanma feels it too as you clench around his fingers and begin moving your hips to match his movements. "Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby. Wanna see you cum on my fingers pretty girl.”, his words adding to the pleasure and moments later the coil in your abdomen snaps, the only thing leaving your mouth was broken sobs of Shuji’s name.

“It looks like you're ready for me, doll”, Hanma says sliding himself up your body and leveling his hips with yours. Your breathing still heavy from your release, “I want you so badly...”, he couldn’t help but chuckle at your given state, your flushed cheeks, eyes burning with lust, and your legs spread just for him. He laces one of his hands with yours and uses the other to pump his cock a few times before running the head up and down your slit, reveling in the way you buck your hips when his tip slides over your clit. “Stop teasing me, put it in..”, you groan starting to feel embarrassed about the situation. "I'm going to fucking ruin you.", he slides into slowly, stretching your cunt to fit his length.

"Just a little more.", Shuji grunts finally stilling himself when he’s all the way in to let you adjust. Tears sliding down your cheeks as you wince at the pain of the stretch. “I know it hurts doll, don’t worry it’ll feel good soon.”, you nod at his words as the pain slowly begins to shift into pleasure. Hanma feels you starting to rock your hips against his and he takes this as a signal to begin rocking his hips into yours. And with the way you’re moaning his name so sweetly, he truly feels as though he met an angel.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers spoilers #tokrev #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev #tokyorev #tokyo rev headcanons #tokyo rev x reader #tokyorev x reader #tr hanma #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers imagines #hanma x you #hanma shuji x reader #shuji hanma #hanma x reader #hanma smut #tokrev smut #tokyo rev smut #tokyo rev x y/n

[blooisasleep]

15 Questions, As Many Mutuals As I Can Remember

thank you to @imaginatorofthings for the tag!

1. Are you named after anyone?

not as far as im aware

2. When was the last time you cried?

YESTERDAY WHEN I WATCHED ELEMENTAL. I DIDNT EXPECT TO CRY, BUT EMBER REALLY RESONATED WITH ME

3. Do you have kids?

nope!

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

only when im annoyed/frustrated/rly done with someone or something! i often dont even pick up on sarcasm when used by other people, so i THINK i dont use it much myself

5. What sports do you play/have played?

basketball, handball, badminton! im out of commission though, since the knee surgery

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

probably their facial features! and their hair

7. What's your eye color?

a dark brown that kinda looks like black unless you squint

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

aw man i gotta choose? probably happy endings. i love horror games, but im not hugely into horror movies. i think i like movies and shows that can get me to cry more than both of these, though

9. Any special talents?

ive been told i pick up information and concepts at a remarkable speed, and process stuff like that rly quickly (this doesn't apply in general conversation, unfortunately). oh, and i read incredibly fast!

10. Where were you born?

in a hospital!

11. What are your hobbies?

i like to read (books, manga) and draw, most commonly! i do also watch the occasional show and write.

12. Do you have pets?

yes, a cat! her name is yuki, and she freeloads while living with me. i love her though and i think she loves me, even if she won't admit it

13. How tall are you?

im not. (short)

14. Favorite subject in school?

i get weird looks for this all the time, but math!! it's just very satisfying, the feeling i get after solving a particularly difficult problem

15. Dream job?

ideally i'd be a writer or an artist of some sort. im still figuring it out really

tagging: @kirii-kitten @dykeyaoi @reddish-wren @sorribu @pawphin @frogeloise @loquaciouscat @ladyofthebookcase (no pressure to do this ofc)

#I STARTED ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS #THEN GOT SIDETRACKED AND FORGOT ABOUT IT #IT IS LATE BUT HERE IT IS!!

[wh1zz3rbr0wn]

me ranting on the marvin triolgy i unironically love the marvin trilogy so much?? in trousers makes no sense. esp the end song/ begginning depends on what like version ur listening too. i heard this theory that in trousers is actually marvin being hypnotised by mendle in therapy and it would make sense!! like it'd explain the inaccuracies between it and falsettos. Like Trina having two kids, as mentioned in your lips and me, 'the oldest drink wine the baby's wailing', while in falsettos Jason is the only child known. And in you gotta die sometime when whizzer says i dont smoke but in whizzer going down marvin says 'he takes me in his arms and he lights *another* cigarette.' Then i love how they re used im breaking down from in trousers and using it in the 2016 revival of it. imo it fits better in falsettos because you go more in depth about both trina and whizzer charaters. In trousers musicals actually is so bloody good??? like every song is great, my favourite song is marvin's giddy seizures. It highlights marvin's suicidal attempts and how it doesn't get noticed unless he acts out., then the whole thing just sounds so good. i wish the lesbians got more screen time though because theyre so radicial. every scene they're in they just light the stage up. I love how all the charaters are wrote. I would like to know if in high school ladies at 5 o'clock/ the r--e of mrs goldurg. are we meant to take that literally? im assuming we are because marvin says something along the lines of for my 14th birthday i was hoping you could show me the wonders of the bed. i think we would be, and if we are what the fuck? like i know marvin is an incredibly abusive person before about time but jesus christ. i didnt expect that. now i do adore that marvin's abusive behaviours are acknowledged and reprimanded unlike another musical that attempts to do something alike to falsettos, rent, where all characters have abusive behaviours. i wont dwell on the failures of rent too much because this isn't about rent. I have saw that 2004 college production amd i find it hilarious that in the thrill of first love that marvin drops whizzer, i hope that was scripted because that seems like such a Marvin behaviour. at the same time it would also be funny if it wasnt. either way i like it. anyway in marvin at the physiatrist, in the og off brodway cast, mendle says its queer mr marvin which is so funny to me. on the topic of the og off brodway cast, i find it fun how chip zien played both marvin and mendle in in trousers and march of the falsettos/falsettoland. marvin in in trousers and mendle in MotF/falsettoland respectably. I genuinely adore everything about falsettos. the openeing number is such a good opening song, i dont think ive heard a better one. Then my father's a homo always makes me laugh and i just love how jason doesn't hate his father for being gay, its how his homosexuality tore the family apart. Then this had better come to a stop is such agood number. i love how in the og of brodway run of it the late again sounds like yapping. then the way that trina and whizzer sort of bond over marvin's abusive tendencies is heartbreaking. A tight knit family reprise is a great song again. then the chess game, marvin my guy you know you agreed to let whizzer win cmon now. i never wanted to love you is heartbreaking. and the games i play makes me violently sob. march of the falsettos made no sense to me until i realised that it was a song to remind you that acts of affection are NOT masculine at all. i honestly dont get why act one didnt end with i never wanted to love you, but father to son is heartwarming compared to the previous songs. i love the second act so much. marvin has done everything to change himself yet the love of his life is stripped away from him. it is like a reminder that due to his past actions he can never like fully be a good person. he changed. he did im not putting that down, but his actions can always haunt him.

#falsettos #in trousers #just ranting #long rant #rant #musicals #the marvin trilogy

[energywarning]

iam so interested. what's the deets on the werewoof Ripley like I gotta know... it's such a cool thing and I'm genuinely wanting to know more

ive talkbed abt it a while ago but a rfresh is good both for me n uheh:

TBH i didnt have much thought at first but "hehe what if ripley but woof" fun fact

ripley is a forest ranger alongside marie, callie and cuttlefish. theyre all meant to take care of campgrounds mostly but the amount of work the other 3 put in is... debatable, now on the other side of the coin, ripley works. Way too much, so she also do some work related to trails n shit. actually ends up on forced paid leave but thats not relevant right now

alex and eight are quite literally just some girls (though alex feels like eight is kind of lying about being marina's cousin even if the later says she indeed is but hey that's her life to live), they are roommates, alex is on unemployment cus of smth that happened at her prev job and eight works at ammo knights still (i guess its more of a paintball shop or smth. unless...)

marina invites the two of them to go on a hike w her and pearl, in the middle of it alex n eight get lost, and upon encountering a ... wolf... they run away like ,very much so. but they end up falling from a distance high enough to knock them unconscious, the last thing alex sees is the wolf... geez, what a stupid way to die

anyway, when alex wakes up she sees someone look at her, in a fit of panic, still seeing the wolf, she decks ripley straight in the face,, yeowch. after about an half an hour or so of frantic apologizing, ripley explains that she just found them passed out in the middle of nowhere ...so she just bought them back to her shack cus like u dont let ppl in the middle of fuck all perhaps?. when alex talks about the wolf they saw, ripley tells them there are no wolves in this area usually. there ARE bears though haha- hey stop yelling??

ripley helps them get back to the campground they were meant to get to and they both thank her blablabla, eight gives her her email and number and like. ripley s job is done by that point so she just leaves.

a month later, cuttlefish is very happy (hes not, callie forced him to) to tell ripley shes on vacation! indefinitely, go to the city and get some (un)fresh air. now, actually. now byebye!!

so ripley is back to the city w no home (i mean she very much did live in her shack but like... nothing in the city) well thats fine shell just sleep ina shitty motel for a week or two and then go back to work

she goes to the closest shop she sees to buy a sandwich and she sees eight picking some pastas, she turns around to walk away and eight taps her on the shoulder, they talk and upon hearing she was about to sleep in a hotel, drags her to her and alex s apartment "consider it as a thank you for helping us out last time ! You can stay as long as needed !"

-"uhhh ok ??"

and yeah they end up living together LOL

Ripley tries her their best to hide the fact theyre a werewolf by hiding away but eight is super in love curious she finds out after some times.

, silly au dont take it too seriously...

Disorganized thoughts:

-Tartar, takes the animals to experiment with sanitized style etc. Covers himself as a private company that deals w wildlife control perhaps.

-Ripley got mistaken as a random wolf, anyway.

-Ripley s dad is also a werewolf. He sucks ass i hope he dies anyway.

-ripley hates shaving. But does so sometimes when in the city cus ppl. Or just wears a mask.

THANK YOU FOR READING. or sorry. Here is some werewoof ripley art

#seriously its v for the lols i have a fun time etc. #anyway ty ty might edit some stuff in later lol

[madisonrooney]

Hi yes hi hello, your Secret Santa has returned! Hopefully you'll get to do more stuff with your parents this month :) I'm going to be very busy seeing all kinds of family in the coming weeks, please lend me some vibes that are good if possible💀 Aside from that, happy Alchemical P1 release! (Screams) !! Now that you've spent a few days with the new tracks, how are you feeling? I'm quite taken with the new stuff but my top I think remain Sand and Lethal Woman⏳ Speaking of music, sorry to pile on multiple questions, but what are your favorite songs to come from Disney Channel projects?? Have an excellent day! - GCWCA Secret Santa

good vibes are sent lol

i really like lethal woman and sand possibly even more. i dont tend to gravitate to the sadder stuff but its just so beautifully done.

as ive said, i do not claim white glove bc im a mostly sex-repulsed ace lol, but i like the other ones a lot and roughly on the same level as one another. maybe ill have a more decisive ranking later on but as of now ill put them at gods game, fragile things, and still, tho theyre all very close. like sand, theyre all somber but still have a beauty to them, which sounds like what she was going for. i have learned i need to limit my listening of them or they make me too sad tho lol.

firstly ill direct you to this playlist i made lol

as far as shows - ofc anything from l&m but my fav is say hey (and gotta give it to froyo yolo) - same for hm, plus that has a lot more songs lol, my fav is rock star - i was thinking about make it happen from wizards when i was in the shower for some reason lol. that slaps and its sad its not on streaming (sure streaming wasnt a thing when the episode premiered but singles were) - WE DONT CARE FROM TVOVV. and to a lesser extent this is where the partys at and a place for everyone, but especially we dont care. that was my #2 song of the year lol. - i dont talk much about my shake it up phase but it did happen. i got two soundtracks from it at disneyland shortly after i finished binging it and i listened to them a ton that summer. my favs were blow the system, beat of my drum, and bring the fire. - THE KC UNDERCOVER THEME SONG. show biases aside, this is my all time fav theme song as i have mentioned in the discord before. it has no right going as hard as it does - partial to step up from the lodge bc dove - let me make you proud and ready as ill ever be from tangled the series bc varian best boy

id ask you the same question but it might give you away lol, unless you have any answers not tied to major favs of yours i.e. me with keep it undercover. your call.

broader question, have you been up to anything fun since we last talked?

#gcwca secret santa

[finagled]

im so frustrated tonight. idk why. my brain is buzzing with an angry burning passion against the system but my body is tired from a long day.

i really wish i had the stomach for politics because like... people who meet me irl tend to like me. im good at educating them and persuading them without them getting the impression that im passing judgement. i have some Very Good Ideas that I think very few could argue with and would at least somewhat improve things, i think. i would not be ready yet but i could one day. there are things that could be said, spins that could be spun, that they are not doing. i wish i could

but i know i dont have the money or connections to keep myself and my family safe. that's probably my biggest hesitation in giving it more thought. i would not play the game. not only can you not win by not playing, but you also make yourself a gigantic target. i really think i could make a difference, but there's a reason why there's not more good politicians! they never make it that far

idk im just sorta rambling. ive been tired and im grieving from the anniversary of my dad's death and im stoned and just thinkin. for me none of this means anything unless im making a positive difference. i feel like ive got to do all i can to help because.... what else am i supposed to do? how can i, with a good conscience, put my heart into anything else when i know there's work to be done and i have this deep down feeling that ive got to help do it

if anyone has read this far, am i crazy for thinking like this? not a lot of people really follow my tumblr so i feel pretty okay posting about this without hate mail but like. it baffles me that we don't have somebody out there already saying some of this stuff. like for people who are so concerned about child grooming and shit, how come you're okay with the age of consent/marriage being below 18 in most of the country?? how is that not more of a talking point if child exploitation is such a worry? no its gotta be the trans

idk what im going to do to change things yet but ive always had this drive in me that im meant to keep going, keep trying until i find the answer. the people have power like never before, but we don't know how to use it yet. we make things go viral on accident. what good things can we make go viral on purpose? social media has been shown to encourage anti-social behaviors in us. how can we change things so they promote pro-social behavior? i mean??? am i just missing something huge here?

#radcurio #genuinely can somebody tell me if im crazy #i want to invest more in these ideas but i always get worried its a bipolar episode or something and im just getting like #crazy #???

[jess-total-mess]

dont want to work in customer service; nobody gives a shit about you. ive only done it once and it was a nightmare; the stories friends have told me are even worse

the main job i worked recently was checking people in at my parents ringette camp. obviously, we have to do screening for covid, so we went out and bought a purple temperature gun, very cool, i had a lot of fun with it

so, they come along, our table is outside, i ask them their full name, i find them on the sheet, i sign them in, i take their forms, i sign those, and then we get to the screening questions

i regularly had to tell parents “you need to step away from the table or wear a mask” at least six times every quarter hour, help them fill out the forms properly because they didnt do it right, and this one lady was convinced the temperature gun would give her daughter cancer

im not joking. she flat out told me she believed that. i stared for a minute, because im alone at the table right now, nobody prepped me for this, and i have no idea what to say to this woman.

at first i didnt hear her properly, and i thought she wanted to take her kids temperature, so i wiped it down and held it out to her. nope, she didnt want it used.

“uh, we have to take her temperature. otherwise she cant come in”

“dont you have an ear or mouth one?”

lady, hell to the no. its a pandemic, thats why we’re using a touch free tempurature gun. i dont say that though. i blink at her and shake my head.

“oh well i didnt bring one”

“she cant come in unless she has her temperture taken”

“we did it at home, shes fine”

“thats not how it works. i need to take her temperature. its not going to do anything.”

“how do you know that.”

at this point im confused as fuck. i have no idea what this woman is thinking, im sweating my weight off as we speak, my glasses are somewhere behind me and im squinting, and i want to go listen to music, not deal with weird white ladies who name their children after rocks.

“well i just want to be safe”

lady youre not wearing a mask. bull. shit.

whatever. i see my mom step out of the rink. i gotta wrap this up, or shes going to get in an argument with this woman which isnt gonna be good.

“if you had brought an ear one, i would use that on her. but you didnt. she cant enter unless her temperture is taken.”

the girl steps forwards and gestures to her forehead. i tell her to move her bangs, and i take her temperature. shes fine. her mom looks horrified. i sign them in, and tell the girl she can go inside, dressing room two.

i turn to the woman.

“if you want to bring your own thermometer tomorrow, then you can. but we have to check the temperature here. okay?”

lady looks red in the face, but her daughter is gone and my mom is here. said mom goes “everything okay?”

“yep!” i say, turning to sit down. i pull out my phone and start scrolling through tumblr, slumped in my chair. i dont want to talk to the lady anymore.

#original bullshit

[fearowkenya]

it's the time of year where I feel very like...boxed in??? okay hold on

so like everyone else who has adhd mine has its own exclusive flavor and weirdness that manifests itself in its own Cute And Quirky Teehee ways that arent universal to everyone w adhd. mine specifically makes it so that the amount of energy / willpower i have to put effort into literally anything is directly proportionate to how much light there is outside. it doesnt have to be SUNNY , just naturally bright.

anyway as you may or may not know im up in canada where it is currently 4:41PM and is nearly dark, and will continue to get darker earlier and earlier until like three quarters through december. so already , not great for me and my fuckign plant-life-wannabe of a brain .

to compound this, i also slow down when it’s cold. that part is normal i think. its not uncommon to want to swaddle yourself in a nest of blankets when temperatures start to drop esp if its like -40 but it DOES make moving around a little more challenging. so like not only do i have to put in the effort to like, do each step of whatever task or activity i am attempting to do, but i also have to pry myself out of Soft Warm Bed which becomes an additional step in making aforementioned whatever the fuck happen. and if u are at all familiar w adhd you know that when the step count gets too high your odds of doing anything other than staring at a wall get slimmer and slimmer unless youve got a damn good workaround for your own brand of brain nonsense

im also one of those ppl who constantly has cold hands , so stuff that requires fine motor skills like art can be tough to start working on when my fingers have the mobility of two fistfuls of freezies.

ive gotten fairly good at finding ways to do things that accommodate my adhd but once winter hits thats when i get boxed in. it’s dark out early, so getting anything done after sunset is like wading thru sludge. then the sludge fucking freezes solid because its cold out, and even if by some miracle im able to like idk draw, my hands feel stiff bc of the cold and makes everything harder. so its like this uphill battle to do fucking Anything when im a sludgecicle. its way easier to do Nothing instead of trying to fight my way out, like the amount of effort it takes is SO frustrating.

‘hey idiot have you tried turning the heater on’ yeah dude i know but i still gotta get outta bed and wait for my fingers to not feel like a bunch of frozen baby carrots before anything gets done, and jsut the thought of that when im nice n warm in blankets is an enormous deterrent and it fucking sucks!!

im super fed up w that happening to me every damn winter so i guess i’ll start to work on throwing together some kinda coping mechanism and hope smth sticks.

since i moved my furniture a while back, my heater is right next to my desk so at least i’ll warm up faster when it starts to be like minus a billion degrees. i have no fucking clue what i am going to do about the uhh (checks notes) reliance that my brain has on the literal actual sun. i have one of those sun lamps that i suppose i can try to use more often?? idk if thats going to trick my brain into thinking it’s actually bright outside so stay tuned i guess. or dont im not your dad

#mattie chatters

[tolerateit]

Moving update: moved but still have things to unpack. They're probably gonna stay unpacked for the next month or so at this rate but that's a story for a different day

Now for a funny story I'm calling: how the hell do you fuck up something as simple as banana bread?!

short answer: eyeball the ingredients, bake on a low temp, do everything in your power not to follow the written instructions

long answer: i set out to make banana bread but my mother in law (smarter than einstein, suffered more than jesus kind of lady) insisted i follow her baking "tips and tricks" like eyeballing the liquid ingredients. i told her no several times, we even got into a debate of how grams and milliliters are two separate measurement (weight vs volume) but she insisted it's one and the same and she told me how much wet ingredients to add according to whatever math she came up with. once everything was mixed and ready for baking, she started messing with the oven temperature and settings, so what was supposed to bake for about 50ish minutes, ended up baking for 100ish minutes and it was still quite raw in the middle. she insisted that's normal. i insisted it's not. she went out of her way to comment on how no recipe turns out the same way twice. i went out of my way to explain how each time ive made this one ~alone~ it's turned out the exact same way. because baking is a precise science, it's not like cooking, which i admit she excels at. it's also why i prefer baking. it's precise, which means unless you don't follow the directions, it's hard to mess it up. so she went to my husband to ask how many times ive done the recipe while we lived in another city. he told her countless times, it's an incredibly easy snack and always turns up perfect. i still dont think she believes that it's not my first time making it.

so she's allegedly making it on her own tomorrow, and she described the recipe i provided in all the wrong ways, including using a blender to mash the banana and then mix ALL the ingredients in it (which you don't want to do because it ends up with too much gluten which makes baking it more difficult) and not using enough honey and even adding the bananas last for whatever reason. cant wait to see what happens.

she kept insisting im upset because i messed up because im inexperienced and it's my first time. i kept telling her im not (im actually not bothered in the slightest and i find it comical because i expected the end result to be messed up as soon as she decided shes a master baker today) but she didn't believe me for one second. i dont have fuck to give about what she thinks is feel honestly, i have other things that i actually need to worry about. and im not touching anything in her kitchen until she's at work anymore. all that talk about "make yourself at home this is your home now" but then you gotta do everything someone else's way, well no it's not, im obviously bothering them with my existence and we all gotta compromise which isn't easy but like cmon, i can do some things right in the way that i like to do them lmao

manifesting the smoothest least stressful unpacking process for you 🥺 also aksksjdjdn it is SO easy to fuck up a baking recipe like why bother following a recipe if you're not gonna stick to it 😭

#you ask for the tab*

[thegeminisage]

ok, i got thirty minutes. i warped to the gerudo tower so i can do the yiga hideout quest...but i also wanna take a picture of spectacle rock for the stable, so up i go

oh wait no scratch that when i spawned zelda was RIGHT next to me i am not taking pictures of shit i am gonna go say hi to (and shoot, and groom??) my girl

OH IT'S NOT ZELDA...IT'S FAROSH.......i haven't ridden farosh yet i don't think bc it took so long to get my rubber armor...rad.......

ok ive DEFINITELY never done this. she's the hardest dragon to ride for sure bc you cant climb in the ran, and of course it's raining and lightning like crazy lol. and i def cant put on any rain ARMOR bc i gotta use my rubber armor. hard mode!!

im so glad i got to do this before beating the game lol

uh oh we are going Down

THERE'S zelda, way off in the distance...but i can't wait ten minutes on farosh if i go get her and i def don't have time to wait ten minutes on her and THEN zelda. sorry babygirl :(

BACK DOWN TO THE DEPTHS....this is what i wanted to get away from lol. maybe its a good thing?? i dont think ive been to where she's gonna take me yet. like yes ive been under lake hylia but i think she flies all the way to the desert. so i can snag my part, and then a lightroot, and then go back to the gerudo tower where i started

god i am literally cruising thru here in SUCH style. i take back every single thing i said about them ruining dragon farming, it totally rules now. i wish some other gameplay elements had been done so cleverly

at least in the depths it isn't raining, lol

got my scale just as i reached unknown territory. sadly i don't see any lightroots from here...

OH there it is...wow, lucky, i would've had to do some serious climbing on foot but farosh boosted me all the way up to the ceiling. thank you girl

lit up a big piece too. this whole area looks like it'd be fun to explore...some other time

a few poes, and i'm outie

ok, got the pic! it's too bad stuff is so hazy up here

there's also a shrine which i might as well get while i'm here

got a better pic now that it's sunset. i'm satisfied lol

and a korok seed so i don't have to come back...ohhhh it's zelda again...i can't let her fly by twice but this sky island has SECRETS

unfortunately a choice for another time, i have to take a break for now lol

ok im back. this is a SERIOUS puzzle to get this sage's will chest...but, if i do it now, i won't ever need to return to these islands. sorry, zelda :( again :(

oh FUCK me there's a shooting star. so i have to miss zelda AND make a return trip to these islands AND i still havent done the fucking. yiga quest. which is what i SET OUT TO DO. these games lol

it landed in a monster camp.

fuck it. i warped out w/o fighting and now im hitting a different tower to catch my girl lol

ANOTHER??? SHOOTING STAR? good FUCKING lord lol

am i really gonna miss zelda three times...

ok. got it. in the NICK of time. now BACK to the highlands tower. and to. MY GIRL! and then to the sage's will island. AND THEN!!! to the yiga quest

i made it to zelda but i missed the fang i shot so i had to take a dive. so i have to warp AGAIN to get back up to her...

MADE IT. so much fucking trouble but anything is worth it to spend a little time with the gf.......

fun visual glitch happening with some water below coming in and out lol. kinda freaky

got my second part and went back to the sky island. this is the puzzle from hell. i fell off and fast traveled to a nearby shrine to come back and the whole fucking thing reset itself. i am SO pissed

ok i finally got it but that was fucking ridiculous

im making myself crazy. multiple sources tell me theres a hudson sign right by this tower but i cant find it anywhere. unless it's fucking underground lol. i give up

HACKER VOICE IM IN......i took off the master sword just in case lol

i like how me and the entire gang can come tromping thru here woth no repercussions whatsoever lol. i wonder what happens if i take off my mask...

SCREAM HE DOESN'T RECOGNIZE ME...... "i feel like i know you from somewhere but i'm drawing a blank" wow he should join the lookout landing search party

anyway. five banana offerings. classic. one down four to go

three to go...

two to go. might as well foght this gleeok while i'm up here on spectacle rock...

one to go!!

I DID IT...now what

lol pay no heed to the glowing ruins. inwant my shrines, pal

is that it...? i thought there was more to it for some reason. maybe vague internet spoilers mislead me lol

wait. wheres that damn frog

omg if you touch trap bananas while dressed up you'll get scolded by the yiga instead of attacked lol. i wanna try chopping a yiga tree down in this getup

ok, i could have sworn i saw addsi9n from a distance, but i went to check a new different sign place and he wasnt there. i think my game is borked

reloaded and there he is. i was literally fucking glitching. i wonder if i could find the other one now...

oh wow yeah here it is. wtf

ok, that's all i can do tonight. more tomorrow hopefully fighting kohga again!!!!!!

#personal #loz blogging #totk lb #totk spoilers