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#dont really know all this yet myself
wasyago · 10 months
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the brainrot won
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dreamwinged · 2 months
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sometimes honestly if you're feeling invalid/anxious/any sort of negative feeling about your selfship , you just have to go back to canon. and i know it seems like such an easy answer but you really do have to. it is always SO comforting to me when i'm feeling bad about things to just see my f/os normally, without any fan interpretation or characterization or opportunities for jealousy involved; to remember why i fell in love with them and that no one can take that specific experience away from me. that other people's thoughts on the character don't matter because at the end of the day, none of it has any bearing on canon and no one can "know" a character any better than anyone else. it really really does work and i wish id realized it sooner
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tangledinink · 4 months
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clenches fist. finally sucked it up and ordered a new ipad...
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skunkes · 4 months
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i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc
#oc text#obvs sparse description of the events bc i dont mean for it to be gratuitous#even if i decided to explore it further in some medium the focus wouldnt be gratuitous ykwim#not that there werent awful stuff within that but my focus with talon is also more exploration of like#even stuff that isnt a big deal (which it wasnt at first) can effect someone greatly#and then once it does get a bit worse the focus is still more on the effects of how he views himself and the aftermath#AS WELL AS LIKE. well. did i do this to myself? i went back. do i deserve this?#he's a lot like me and the reason i like the self insert dynamic is bc he thinks of cheye as Me If It Didnt All Go Horribly#bc ive not gone thru the Extreme but i have had interactions with ppl who very enthusiastically thought i was ummmm underage!!!#while they were already being creepy toward me and making me nervous abt my safety !#so this isnt ''he's umm 400 but looks 12 bc i want to do weird shit with him 😏'' dude drawing him Fed makes me so sad sometimes...#we're also weird eating buddies <3#and grief buddies <3 he actually further spawned out of my need to deal with a lot of family members passing away in such a short time#severe death phobia buddies...#i still dont know how he really feels about his Old Wrinkly Form btw all i know is he feels safe in it#as much as id love to sway toward ''he thinks he's hot like that. because he is.'' i also dont want to convey the wrong message wrt this#form being due to....disordered eating caused by Issues. ykwim#though! he can shapeshift quite well when he's fed and maybe he'd choose that form willingly if he ever got. Past everything#he does hate that he never gets to actually age...! he wishes he cld age normally like a mortal...(still scared of dying though)#but we cant knoww for certain yet ykwim. maybe he'll let me know soon.#my issue with talon other than i suck at plots is well he has too many of my issues. and. idk how to solve them.#he's growing with me.#oh and have we noticed he's mean to me when *im* being mean to me...MANY such metaphors#ok goodnite
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melatien · 2 months
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tiny yoichi (unwillingly) lures out soldiers by being his helplessness little self so his brother can strike
#bases are the most reliable way to find food afo found!#yoichi is crying bcuz he pitys them <3#not because hes nervous#im gonna be honest i made this idea up on the spot when drawing this#pewdiepies new art video awakened something in me I NEEDED TO REMIND MYSELF I CAN STIL DRAW BANGERS TOO#i didnt disappoint myself!!!! competitiveness is my enemy and my bestie literally#anyways his right eye was an absolute horrendous nightmare to draw it was going so well until i did the hair then it ruined the eye#i actually thought yoichi was wearing shoes at this age but then i looked back at those chapters and realised yoichi was shoeless#WITH ONLY A BANDAGE ON HIS FOOT??!?!!?!? agony#can yoichi not make me wish he had something good in life for ONE SECOND#think of this as like how he responded to afo killing those people that (presumably) beat yoichi up beforehand#we dont know if hes crying because his brother is killing or if he was crying before being 'saved'#ill try do some fluff art soon ive been really interested in body horror related art lately so i wanted to play around!!!#i have a BUNCH of ideas written down ive yet to do#i just keep doing whatever i feel like#i am the master of ignoring the instructions and winging it#mha#my art#yoichi shigaraki#one for all#my hero academia#first ofa user#shigaraki yoichi#mha yoichi#tiny yoichi#tiny yoichi in his shabby little clothes#ive actually been dying to draw tiny yoichi again but KIDS ARE SO HARD TO DRAW!!!!!#i had an art moment though#HALLEJUHAH#art gods had my back fr
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lycanthian · 4 months
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they should make a me that isnt Scared
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fraternum-momentum · 2 months
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I CANT I CANTTTTTTT I WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE RJIKNHGKRSBKFUCKNHJHFBNJEA JFHBAEJHBFJHBHBHBHBHBBAZHJDBAJHDBAJKHBDJKNA????A//////!?!!!!!!!!??!!???!?!?!??!! I CANNOT I LITERALLY NOT THE CAN I CANTTTTTT RAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#⚠️WARNING⚠️TAGS R SUPER FUCKING LONG I NEEEEED TO RAMBLE ABOUT LOVE AND DEEPSPACE I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS#SUGGESTIVE ART? NSFW? LITERAL GODDAMN PORN? LIGHT WORK NO REACTION#POV ROMANTIC OTOME GAME SHIT WITH THE TINIEST HINT OF SPICE??? I CANNOT ITS TOO MCUH I ITS AUGHHH IM JNUHJHFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK#IM LIKE FUCKING PLAYING THIS GAME WITH A HAND COVERING MY EYES WHILE PEEKING ITS TOO MUCH#I AM LOOKING AWAY EVERY SECOND IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FUCKUNGBHGJGHJHGHGBJJH#I HATE HATE HATEEEEE (not rly) IT WHEN THEY GET NEAR U ITS AUGH ITS SO WEIRD I PUT MY PHONE FURTHER AWAY FROM ME OUT OF EMBARASSMENT#SOMETIMES I LOSE MY IMMERSION AND GET SELF AWARE AND THINK TO MYSELF THIS IS SO FUCKING WEIRD... THIS IS WHY I DONT PLAY OTOME GAMES DUDE#like no hate to otome games its just way too much for me i get way too embarassed abt playing them its def a me thing#ok first of all the combat is p ok actually it reminds me of pgr and hi3 altho i like pgr better :] (lee my beloved)#i did burst out laughing when i found out abt it cause i thought it would be like mysme and its just visual novel shit but its really okay#also i did a bit of thinking as to why i dont find the charas super appealing & its cause theyre obv manifactured to b 'the perfect guy'#like you know how pugs were bred to be cute but end up deformed and stuff? yea kinda like that#im not saying theyre deformed but thats the vibes im getting#deformed pug vibes#the jp vas are pulling thru though#ALSO I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF GACHA pleaseee i alr play hsr + gi + /occasionally/ pgr and stopppp i hate the gamba aspect of the games#AND IM NOT JUST SAYING THAT BC I DIDNT GET THE CARD I WANT#.................. OKAY SO MAYBE I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANT THE POINT STILL STANDS#i like them (reluctantly) all so far ? idk no one is rlly my fav yet tbf im still at ch. 2 so..#theyre all cute ig zayne is nice maybe i dunno i like his shoulders......? hes very cold tho cause haha ice powers#i call him elsa in my head#xaiver is also nice? hes cute? hes sleepy n shit#rafayel is kinda goofy? aloof? but in the 'she's so crazzzzzzzzzy! i love her!' way (look it up if u dont know) and im not super into that#hes the one whimpering though so it is what it is#overall i think ill keep playing until i get the card i want ill also prolly play it on my laptop instead cause its super laggy on my phone#idk how ill deal with the combat part tho but thats a problem for future me lolol#okay yea idk if anyone is still reading this but i dont want my irls to know that im playing this game so here we r#idk why im using the tags to ramble its way more fun like its more casual i think#OKAY YEA BYE#frambling...?
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guinevereslancelot · 1 month
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eye doctor was trying not to scare me today bc i have a sight threatening condition 🥲 it's probably treatable but i need to go to a specialist
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idliketobeatree · 3 months
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*wakes up in cold sweat from a hundred years long nap* Aziraphale's 1941 love realisation was a LITERAL BOMB FALLING ON HIS HEAD FROM THE SKY that he was forced to MIRACULOUSLY SHIELD THEM FROM and they both have performed so well, he and Crowley were not only NOT discorporated, but ALSO his most precious belongings, the symbols of the human part of his identity, were not harmed in the process. and it was all within mere minutes of their reunion after a major fallout. do you. do you see what I'm
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seariii · 1 month
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*getting out of bed stumbling* let's send the last couple gifts... (< Can barely open her eyes)
Also... I always forget how pretty it feels to gift things to others... Some have big reactions, some have smaller ones, but... Most of the time you get to see them happy, a small smile, a warm feeling.... That's beautiful... So beautiful
And Im still not used to the receiving gifts jajajaja and it's... So pretty... It's such a warm and gentle feeling but so so strong... "This was made for me, thinking about me" "this was chosen for me".... I'm... Heh...
Giving and receiving gifts is always so beautiful.... This is why I love Christmas, Valentine's, birthdays.... I'd love to actually bake everyone brownies... To give them little cards...
Also valentine's is so pretty because it's all about love! And at least where I live is literally called The Love and Friendship Day!!!! So I've always seen valentine's as a good day to show appreciation for friends ... *Happy sigh* I love Love
Jijiji as I was writing the notes, my brother knocked on my door and gave me a small cinnamoroll notepad and it's so cute... Such a cute day
Alr, now let's send those gifts
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soldier-poet-king · 4 months
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U know when u reach that point of mentally unwell that it's like, u realize it's stupid and dumb and your (mal)adaptive coping mechanisms and inbuilt trauma responses aren't helpful and aren't logical and you're complete aware of this and yet can't eradicate it and it's so frustrating and in some way you're more upset about not being able to force ur brain into being normal and stop being Like That, than you are upset about whatever thing happened in the first place
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nerdie-faerie · 3 months
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Currently thinking about the last time I met up with my college friends, and we went around the table reintroducing ourselves with names and pronouns, cus it gets like that. And every time it would come around to me, I would deflect and distract instead of answering because I hadn't actually figured it out yet. It's coming up on a year since then, I still have no idea what the answer would be
#Queer gang#it was literally this time last year cus it was the last time i went home for winter break that i saw them all#i panicked and got distracted the first time i was supposed to introduce myself despite the fact theyre the last people who would judge#but were a bunch of very easily distracted fckers so it wasnt even that noticeable that i hadnt answered at first#but then one of them realised id never actually introduced myself and i cant even remember how i changed the topic#but someone would always realise in the middle of someones story so id just redirect the attention to what we were already discussing#to buy myself time to think but i never actually came up with an answer and im stuck on a coach rn so my brain has all this time to think#and im just. its been a year since that incident its been several years since i started to think maybe my gender didnt entirely fit#but every time i try to figure it out like a puzzle like i did with my sexuality the first time i realise i dont really have an answer#its not that i feel that something else would fit better and i cant figure out why it doesnt feel right in the first place#is it because i was raised hyperfeminine despite growing up predominantly around brothers?#is it because tradition gender roles dont fit anyway when yoyre queer because so much of gender is tangled up in sexuality?#is it because im taking too much of a theoretical/whatever approach to it when i know gender is predominantly a social construct?#is it because its just not that deep and i dont care? or do i care and i just havent figured it out yet? idk
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needylittlegirl · 2 months
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ahh i feel yucky
#just mad about life again <3#mad that my doctors told me not to go to college yet#and now that i probably could if this medicine works#i dont see the point anymore#what i wanted to do wouldnt get me anywhere#i just found that out without even trying it for myself#like i guess its good cause i dont have loans lol!#but i wish i wouldve had one shot to try it out#like. im a kid im supposed to find stuff out the hard way right??#yeah i got the easy way out financially and time wise but. i didnt even get to try i didnt even get to see what it couldve been like#and im mad i spent all of my youth with my shitty stupid ex that just had to rape and abuse me like it didnt even matter#im mad that he gets to ruin any future relationship i have even though he isnt around anymore#it isnt fair none of its fair#im gonna be 21 next month and all i know is not even getting the chance to fail and not even knowing what love is supposed to look like#what do i have to show for any of it?#i look at people i grew up around and theyre all finding their ways and doing things we talked about when we were kids#ive always felt like im just watching everyone grow up like a tv. im just sitting infront of it and theyre all going#and i thought maybe that wouldve changed by now i thought maybe id catch up#maybe i was naive or stupid to think it would change because it hasnt#im scared that im just gonna be one of those people that just doesnt really ever do anything#and it wasnt even up to me! i had such big dreams and then i had to have some stupid pains#and some stupid doctor had to tell me to hold off for a year#and its like the drain was pulled in a bathtub and everything just started to go down#whatever#im done ill be fine#tbd
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silenthillbunni · 2 months
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📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2
#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore#we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life#i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible#if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green#and later this year i think i might change my name#it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random#i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel#really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am#to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate#but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it#but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so#when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy#i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that#also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk.....#rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els#sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w#not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else#but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway#that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but#all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever#i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right?#i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not#im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help#it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning#nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my#feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions#i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary
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earlsjustwannahavefun · 2 months
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My interview is tomorrow and I'm so so nervous but I saw a live possum yesterday and good things always happen when I see live possums (yes dead possums are a bad sign) and I had multiple people put in a good word for me at animal control and I'm really very much qualified for it. Also the snow had completely melted the last few days but I heard on the radio today it is supposed to snow a few inches tomorrow so now I'm worried about just getting TO the interview too.
#my jimmy is poopy garbage in the winter since my dad replaced the back axel with one that does not lock#its rear wheel and the 4x4 is broken and without the locking back all 4 wheels are just spinning independently#i could take the dump truck but its hard to back up and i dont want to make a fool of myself. it has 4x4 though...#i could take the rav4 since we just got it plated but its a temp plate and also like 3 different colors but it is front wheel drive#but the breaks arent the greatest and im not used to her yet#ahhhhhhhhhhhh i hate this also my fiance was supposed to go up north for his uncle tomorrow so i cant get stuck i have no one to get me out#but we dunno if he can go up now since he might have to plow#i could take the plow truck but id rather not i hate driving that. there is also the diesel truck but it doesnt have 4x4 or anything#also i dont love driving it it is huge: see making myself a fool backing up#the parking lot there is tight if i remember right#im just hoping its not really snowing and i can just take my jimmy#i wish my jimmy hadnt been abused#we did get a new new new back axel for it that DOES lock but it has not been installed yet its just. chillin in the yard.#do i tell them i have pigs?? my current job doesnt know i have pigs#what if im judged for breeding pigs thats why i didnt tell my current job but then half the staff went and got breeder puppies so like#thats not a thing there apparently but it would of been weird at my last animal wellfare job
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taeyungie · 6 months
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😺
#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet#i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean#he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today#and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this#its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back#but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason#he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much.#he would want that for all of us right#but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus#the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months.#thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time#and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol#my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most#when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most.#but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway#i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit#i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody#because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right#and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated.#i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do.#to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him#nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it#anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓#please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓#we have esch other and we will be okay 💓#sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓
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