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wahlpaper · 5 months

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Cleat Cute Review

Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner

CW: Internalized Ableism, Vomit, Described Sex, Drinking in Excess, Swearing, Injury Recovery, Money Problems, Sports Violence, Panic Attacks, Medical Transphobia

5/5

Put a red-haired woman on the cover of a queer book and I'm so there. The cover of Meryl Wilsner's Cleat Cute was all I needed to ask my library to get the audiobook. In middle school, I played midfield in soccer. I don't remember much beyond the basics of the sport and haven't picked up much since. I have enjoyed soccer romance stories like Bend it Like Beckham, but it's no longer the special interest it was in middle school. Essentially, I wasn't looking for a romance in it. This novel appeared on some list I saw about upcoming books and it caught my eye. I could tell it would be a romcom that was sweet and light in tone, the kind of story I struggle to put down.

Phoebe Matthews is a rookie in professional soccer, but she gets drafted to the best team in the country right out of college. She has her sights set on joining the National Team Roster next. It's a World Cup year, and Phoebe's team captain, Grace Henderson, is doing her best to look forward to it. It's hard for her to do when she's lost her excitement for the whole profession. Phoebe is full of energy and passion, but not just for soccer. She feels this way about Grace too. Will the women getting close to each other be enough to change their lives for the better? Or will they find out they aren't being honest with themselves?

At first, I thought the writing was a bit simple, but I was quickly sucked in by the characters, the plot, and the setting. Some issues were resolved a little too easily, and I felt that the POV broke its unofficial rules sometimes. These issues were minor when looking at the book as a whole. Wilsner is great at world-building, having created a fully-realized version of Women's Soccer that works as a nice alternative to what we have in real life. I don't get visual thoughts, but I understood the physical settings being used in the books. While there are two MCs, Cleat Cute utilizes a full cast of characters. All of them felt fleshed-out, interesting, and distinguishable from each other. I will absolutely be reading more of Wilsner's books if they're anything like this one.

One thing that surprised me in Cleat Cute was the neurodivergent representation. I didn't find this book on a list of autistic books or ADHD books, so I had no idea it would be a central part of the story. Phoebe has undiagnosed ADHD, which is an important part of her arc. Grace's sister has it, which means that Grace is coming from an understanding and respectful place when she talks about the disorder with Phoebe. As for Grace, it is mostly suggested through traits that she is autistic but undiagnosed. It's only directly referenced in her thoughts once, though. I do wish the narrative had spent as much time on Grace's neurodivergence as it did with Phoebe’s, but I do have other books for that. Either way, I felt autistic joy reading about both Phoebe and Grace living their queer soccer star lives while also getting to be their full selves by the end.

Being realistic to the sport, Cleat Cute has a lot of queer characters in it. Lesbians, a bi woman, a non-binary goalie, and Phoebe's trans brother are all featured in the story. The author, Wilsner, is non-binary and writes their characters from an experienced and loving place. Being a professional soccer player can come with a bit of time in the spotlight. While this makes Grace uncomfortable, she wonders if she should use it to be there for other lesbians. Cleat Cute does a great job of expressing why it's important for famous people to come out while also reminding everyone that consent is necessary. Every celebrity that comes out makes the world a little safer, but it'll never be worth it for them to do something they aren't comfortable with.

Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner is a great queer sports book for those who want that in a New Adult novel. It's a light and easy read with great representation. If you're a foodie, into soccer, or a fan of New Orleans, this book will be especially enjoyable for you! Join Phoebe and Grace as they prepare for the soccer season and try to navigate their feelings!

#meryl wilsner #cleat cute #book blog #bookblogger #queer books #queer characters #wlw #romcom book #nonbinary author #lesbian romcom #neurodivergent books #adhd main character #autistic love interest #bend it like beckham

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algid-star · 8 months

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Oh. My. GOD. okay so,

My burnt-out dumb ass, been working on sewing, and shared this hobby with a friend (who is cute). And like, yay! Friend! I love friends! Community! Love and support and appreciation! You can get all these and more from people with whom you are not romantic!

And she messages me fairly out of the blue, and we get to texting, and talking about hanging out and having craft time and hangouts. Body doubling! Do your own individual projects, but in a group as a fun friendship activity!

And so we go grab boba tea before craft time. And let me tell, you. Respectfully. I know people can dress for themselves and not for others to be leering at them. But also she was wearing the kind of dress I would wear if I were her if I wanted to send a signal loud and clear. Respectfully: the titties were out, and they looked amazing. ANYWAYS, BY THIS POINT I'M ALREADY PANICKING.

"Am I being too autistic about this?". I was genuinely looking forward to crafting together because I really wanted to finish up my muslin and check the fit because this is the first fitted garment I'm drafting myself and like, I'm just kinda excited to have that experience, but also share it with a friend who's also into this hobby?

But then idfk where my mind went. We got back to my place and talked about crafts and I showed her around, but then before it was craft time she had to show me something on the sofa, and then we just talked for hours. And slowly got more and more subtly cuddly. Intertwined legs to watch something on a cell phone, when we easily could have chromecasted the video to the big TV in front of us.

As I'm saying this right now, in retrospect, I don't know how I was not clear in my reception of these signals. But also that's important for the story later. Because. BECAUSE, eventually our faces got a little close and she got flustered and at THIS point I felt confidently clear. And I just smiled and asked, "what?".

"Oh, I just. We just got really close there."

"yeah, we did." just a big teasing smile, with rizz.

After more flustered, I say, "listen, I play by vampire rules. I need an explicit invitation. If there's something you want, you need to tell me clearly. Otherwise I will not push."

"well, okay WAIT, well what are YOU feeling, what do you want?"

"I really like all this cuddling. And I also think maybe kissing could be really fun, too."

She agreed. AND AAAAAHHHH.

I am still buzzing. Can you believe that there are people who actually believe that consent can't be sexy? I bratted/teased/dommed my way into sexy kissy bitey time with a lovely and cute and wonderful woman by simply DEMANDING explicit consent.

And the only thing that ever held me back in this kind of interaction has been all the bullshit expectations of how I should behave as a "man", and now that I accept myself as non-binary, I just have to be ME, and that's enough. I don't need to put on a masking performance in order to start a physical or romantic relationship. If something happens, dope. If not, now I'm friends with yet another amazing and talented and beautiful woman. Woe is me, all of my friends are dope as fuck. How will I ever cope. (that's sarcasm).

Anyways, this was a big firehouse of feelings. Idk if any of it makes any sense. It's nearly 2am (she stayed until we noticed it was midnight and we have work in the morning) and I'm exhausted, so maybe I can't keep a train of thought.

But the fact that my dumbass autistic self was SO GENUINELY STOKED for craft time with friends, and then, only then when I have zero expectations, does such a magically wonderful experience happen.

#personal #actually autistic #nonbinary

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naoko-world · 2 years

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How I relate to (most of) the characters in Encanto

I often say I relate to a lot of characters in Encanto! Not everyone of them, like I'm nothing like Julieta, but a lot of them are like me in their own way. Honestly there are so many it's like this movie was made to touch me.

Starting with Bruno because...He's my favorite so...And I'm the one to decide!

I relate to Bruno a lot! Well, I'm neurodivergeant, I have some mental health issues and honestly I'm glad they cut that scene where we see him talk to his rats. Because it would hit too close from home and could have triggered me.

Like him, sometimes I try to make people laugh and it fails because I'm bad at joking (Bruno is hilarious though) then it gets awkward and I'm hoping it didn't spoil my relationship with people. Well, because like him again I'm pretty nervous and anxious. I often fidget with my hands (or feet) like he does and seriously if I could hide in the walls of my home I totally would to just escape my worries. With some entertainments because it would quickly be a bit boring alone in there.

Also I would totally have tried a joke like "It looks like rain" to try to make a member of my family laughs and it thus lead a big event into a disaster...I mean I know I tried making jokes and it was taken seriously. And I had to apologize. Same thing when I say things a bit too bluntly because I didn't think I'd hurt someone by talking like I did.

I too have a very low esteem of myself. I think I'm not a good person, I'm someone who can feel really dark feelings, someone who can hurt others because of jealousy or because I have one person bothering me so I grow hate and anger.

I also look an awfully lot like Mirabel!

Like physically I have glasses, she has glasses, I have a round face, she has too, short hair like her and curls in my hair. Hers are curlier though, my hair are more wavy. And her skin is darker than mine.

It's not the only part I look like her though since I have the same kind of anxiety of her and Bruno. I just want to be special, want to be skilled, to be useful to the society which I can't do because I don't have a job so some people think I'm just lazy. I'm not lazy though, I'm job hunting but recruiters feel I'm nervous so they don't want to have me in their company because I'd "be eaten" (yes, one recruiter decided to not lose more time and told me that).

Another part I have in common with Mirabel, something people I love know about, is when I love someone I'll show it a lot. If I was in a musical like Encanto I'd have one song for each of my closed friends telling them how wonderful they are!

When I was a kid I was talking really low and I sometimes talk low without noticing it, but when growing up I started talking way louder and becoming more extravert and less introvert, my shyness showing less. I'm still shy though, like I smile a lot and give excited answers to hide my nervosity and uncertainty. Well, now when I need to interact with people I take a deep breath before.

But enough with Mirabel! Time to talk about Pepa!

Maybe it'll surprise people but I tend to be a really bad-tempered woman. Like when I can easily get angry and when I do it's hard to actually hide it.

So yeah I can relate to Pepa. I still manage to contain my anger until I can unleash it somewhere but MAN if I had Pepa's gift I would like get much more upset than the usual because I'd get upset for being upset and afraid people would hate me for getting upset.

Me with Pepa's gift, Paris would very often see hurricanes.

That's all for Pepa now is...Luisa's turn!

Yes, after Pepa, Bruno and Mirabel I relate a lot to Luisa.

It'll be quick though: I can understand feeling I must carry the weight of everything on my shoulders.

I'm not the oldest of my siblings, I'm actually the youngest, but my older brother is autistic. I'm not talking about autistics like @hectic-hector for example who can still be independant, more an autism like can't understand how to (or the point to) use a computer, is yelling instead of talking, and if we don't watch over him he could empty the fridge or go on the road and be killed. It's like that since I was a kid and I always felt I had to be the oldest, be the one in charge to look after him, to literally carry the weight on my shoulders.

I also tend to take very seriously every task I'm given, and I gets desperate when I can't do it efficiently.

But enough with Luisa! Now is time to talk about the one I didn't imagine I'd relate to her: Isabela!

Well, I was never said I should be perfect but I still feel I must, as if any mistake from my part is unforgivable. As if if something isn't perfect from my part it's worth nothing. As if I must always smile and be sweet, never be angry or the one in need of moral support. Like I'm not even authorized to cry because it bothers my dad.

Ah but well there is also what I said in my analysis of the Adults in Encanto on Isabela's character and how she stays feminine but by her own terms at the end of the movie. About how, again, I was the "not like other girls" girl because I like Video games, mangas, hate makeup and shopping...So I was saying I'm not feminine because I'm not a woman according to the society's view of a woman.

However I still identify as a woman and I still have feminine parts. There was the parts asked to me by the society (and especially some other women) which I didn't like and ended up being hateful toward in response to pressure, and there was the parts nobody asked me for but are still considered feminines. Like I like taking care of my hair, I like wearing some hairclips, crunchies, or hairbands. I like jewellery too like I have some in a box. I wear some earrings everyday, as well as a pendant about Bruno because I love it. I love plushies and dolls too or knitting. I'm fond of what's cute! I'm feminine!

This is why I can relate to her as the pressure to be perfect, but also the pressure to be what society says I should be as a woman.

Who else?

I think I can relate to Camilo?

Also have to be the one to smile and reassure the others. And afraid to be a bother when I complain.

Antonio?

Like nobody asks me for anything, especially when I was a kid, but I still could see what was happening and I wanted to help, not let the adults struggle while I was playing. I wanted to show we could count on me! Be of use!

Agustin?

Like I can understand wanting to reassure someone and be afraid for them but still having to smile and then someone else says something and I realise it's what I should have said. Then I'd literally yell on someone else to defend them.

And...Alma.

Yes, I can relate to HER! She's the antagonist but I also said she's an amazing character with a tragic story who doesn't deserve the hate. Today though I realise I can even relate to her in some way. Even while I'm still only in my 30's.

I know a bit the feeling to want to control everything, to have everything be perfect and be frustrated when everything doesn't go according to the plan because I doesn't want errors to be repeated.

Like me not wanting to see hate on the Internet anymore after my experience on Twitter and people hating each other for nothing. But I can't control people, even those I love.

Well, honestly at this point that's all! It's a good way to reflect on myself to say who I can relate to and how! And it's again an occasion to analyse characters I love!

#encanto #encanto analysis #my analysis #mirabel madrigal #bruno madrigal #pepa madrigal #luisa madrigal #isabela madrigal #agustin madrigal #antonio madrigal #camilo madrigal #abuela alma madrigal #alma madrigal #abuela madrigal #abuela alma #very personal

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nkhrchuwuya · 2 years

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✨ Congrats on 500!!!

So I'm gonna state my main three signs as they do play a basic part, but I also elaborate more about myself outside of those. I'm a sun in Pisces, Moon in Aquarius, and Asc in Cancer. I go by she/her...

So I'm pretty much a person that is introverted, but likes to travel or go out to places near by (it can be as simple as going into the backyard to walk around or going to the grocery store with a love one). Though I do get tired and overwhelmed, I can't tell if it's because I'm Autistic or I'm just general like that, but a change if scenery help my boredom or sometimes anxiety.

I'm also a type of person that likes to learn about things and obsessed over it a little? Be it searching up everything about a anime character that I really like, fact about bees or about Neurological disorders including Autism. Although I tend to switch through different things a lot, so while I do enjoy learning about things, I have a hard time remembering once I move onto another. It still doesn't stop me from learning about it and go into an extensive rant about a character analysis I read or about the current problems around the world. This kind of obsessive learning (it can kind of be? Idk) often makes also wanna learn about people and what makes them tick, if you go on a rant about anything... I'll be very much listening and analyzing. GRANTED I CAN'T SHUT UP SO I HABIT OF NOT JUST BEING A LISTENER. So that's also means I'm honest to a fault sometimes and pour my heart out. That also means I have a hard time being tactful at the right times. I'm also sensitive to people's emotions and I'm pretty much quick to support when I hear they've been wronged or hurt. Catch me joking about committing arson because a friends ex is a piece of shit or school is being a bitch.

I'm also a daydreamer and often spend my annoying self thinking of scenarios that are brought up by the help of anime. Sometimes they do get in the away of doing basic tasks, but I do also use it to create ocs or write. I can't say I'm consistent and will always be productive with this creative side of me since I'm a perfectionist and easily affected by my mood, so while I have ideas they take time to come to life. This attitude also heavily affects my art and how much I draw, but I still wanna do it regardless and hope to become a professional one day.

I do notice I can be a people pleaser and I often don't wanna cause trouble so I end up letting people take the lead and let things go with the flow. I also do believe I'm generally very forgiving when a good explaination happens. Though that can change very quickly if you prove to me you're just an asshole no matter what and I'm gonna let you know when I can. I do have a petty/emotionally clouded side to me if I feel greatly wronged, it's very rare since I mostly just... Avoid and mind my business unless I really have too. I usually try to stay aloof and detached from the situation because I know I can very combative if I don't, which can have mixed results depending on my mood and situation. For the most part, if you genuinely don't fuck with me and others then I'll be very friendly and kind with you. I'm still roughly a calm, anxious, dorky ,and shy person when you first meet, but it can... It can change is all I can say.

Especially when I get passionate over my beliefs and interests. I'm easily excitable and crazy just as I am calm and brutally honest. Oh yeah, I get excited over the small of things and suddenly I'm jumping like a little girl when I see a pretty dress/graphic t-shirt or wonder off to look at cool art on mugs or something. I can't help but dance to a song a like in public and I will play one song I'm obsessed with on repeat until like... A love one brings another banger.

This kind of messy mix between calm and well... Pure emotion often makes very insecure of my existence as a "good" person and also rather or not I'm worthy of positive comments like "You're an intelligent woman" or "You have a good heart." I just find it hard to take it when my brain tells me of all the stupid and cruel things I said or done. It does help because... Well It's much easier to analyze and self-reflect so I change it, but I'm also stubborn and can be arrogant so it doesn't mean it'll be easy. I also place a lot specific of expectations on myself only to crush and burn later, which ends up with me being ashamed and irritable. I also place my worth on how useful I am to people and I get distressed when I can think up an answer or solution to a peoples problems. I do truly wanna help people and I'm quick to tell that they're feelings are vaild, but when it comes to myself something's are hard to stick and it doesn't help that my self-esteem can be fickle. The ying-yang part of my personality is something I greatly fear and hate because I can't truly tell who I am as a person and confidently tell someone I'm reliable enough to be worth their time. I'm a constant over thinker on top of that, so I try honest about myself and how I'm very conscious of myself while having millions of criticisms in my head. Hell typing this is giving me impostor syndrome because "this can be a lie later on". My self-awareness that change is natural helps, but god damn some my mind head loves to punch me in the gut when I don't think that first.

I think because of that turmoil, I often seek validation from others since it does ground me even though it's bittersweet. I can also say I can be affectionate towards a lover and needy, but... Sometimes I need to step away because I get overwhelmed easily. So... Sometimes my affection can be on and off. My perfectionism does send me a panic because well... I believe I'm a mess, but I do try to get my lazy butt to give what my love needs. That's also means that I don't play around and while confrontation scares me, I'll be honest about what I want and need. I'll try to compromise because I want my partner to be happy and safe, but I still wanna make sure I'm heard also because being misunderstood is something that will hurt me a lot. Granted, I'm quick to give the benefit of the doubt even when my mind is jumping to conclusions. I do get jealous, but given on how I acted in the past I try to avoid it and hopefully figure out why. SKSKS... I like poking fun, but I try not do it too much unless I get the okay from my partner. I'm also straight up about my Autism and how I know I have it yet there's a lot for me to learn and understand Offending my partner scares me. Also I shut down when people yell at me, I can overcome it, but not all the time which another reason why I avoid confrontation.

I'm also insecure about the fact I rock and forth when I get overwhelmed (be positive or negative stress) or dance random when a song is played in public. I'm on and off about my small chest and god damn my confidence in my body as well as face needs work because I both admire it and then go into a slump because it's "not womanly" enough. At the same time... I'm too lazy to care on some days. Fun times. I can be self-deprecating, but I try to keep it at bay since I don't wanna ruin shit. I am very animated with my speech and I cuss a lot when I'm talking casually. I try to keep at bay when I'm trying to be serious and explaining a point. I also imagining that I do get along with Dazai, but I can get annoyed and snappish when I think Dazai gets a little to much with his teasing. I try to be polite and nice, but idk I imagine that happening at least once if I end meeting him and actually sorta become mutual.

Thank you for the event! Hope this enough lol. Good luck with work btw.

first things first i'd like to give you an award 🎖 for being the absolutely most detailed description ever 😂 at a whopping 1.4k words i feel absolutely embarrassed that i wasn't able to use all the information in these eight headcanons but i hope this is still to your enjoyment!

chuuya enjoys the varying ebbs and flows of your interest. there's always something new to learn from you, and even if you forget eventually. to him- in your case- what's more important is that you had fun swimming through the topic instead of what you keep in your head.

at first chuuya has a hard time adjusting to your talkative and very emotional nature. which sounds weird, because he too is somehow like that, but perhaps that matching energy can get a little too much on occasion. of course in time he'll get used to it and find a balance with you, but expect struggles in the beginning.

your nonchalance to violence is something he finds so gravely amusing but also is so thankful about because, you know, port mafia and all that. of course it's a different level but the fact that you see the "humor" in all of it is a plus.

would like to help you out of your perfectionism, if a little. he understands that sometimes things just gotta be done, regardless of how well it is completed. and he'd like to instill that value in you, in the simplest things, really, like meals being cooked, or items in the home that aren't perfect.

would appreciate if you took the lead for once. he knows you're very go with the flow but he wants you to assert your own desires from time to time. it might be a little hard on your part, but think about it- you gain a little bit of confidence to your own wants and you also please chuuya somehow. it's a win-win situation, really, and besides, chuuya makes sure that whatever it is you're doing, you two will have so much fun in it.

you can't help chuuya all the time. that's just the nature of his context; he's in the port mafia and he will have problems no layman will be able to resolve. it's not that often- as your confrontational but avoidant nature tends to swerve the topic- but whenever you get into it the conflict is very high tension. it takes a lot of apologies to get you two back into shape.

compliments you all the time, even when you don't believe it. it just comes naturally to him, and he really feels like you need the extra boost on a regular basis. he'll tell you the good stuff until you believe it, really, there's no getting away with it.

lastly he's totally neutral about your autism, it doesn't bother him one bit and you don't have to worry about receiving any judgment from him about it. he'll ask a lot of concerned and curious questions because he's not sure exactly what it entails, and no google search is going to be better than learning exactly from the autistic person he cares about.

overall, i think you and chuuya will have a fun, banter-filled relationship, one that is characterized with a lot of high-tension moments that get resolved into peace and calm. so long as you can maintain and return to that balance, you two will stay strong.

#the-ghost-duck #chuuya's special someone event #nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs #chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #bungou stray dogs imagines #bsd imagines #bsd x reader

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idontknowanametouse · 2 months

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Genshin cringe headcanons part 1: the travellers

This post reclaims the term "cringe". If you use it as an insult or is triggered by it, please, DNI

Name: Aether

Gender: trans man, he/him

Pictures of character:

Appearance: white, ethnically english, athletic, has braided long blond hair and brown eyes, scars through his body and face (including burn scars)

Age: chronologically unknown, but is phisically, mentally and psychologically 16

Sexuality: gay

Personality: kind, friendly, easily excitable, protective, joyful, hyperempathetic, trusts people way too much, knows how to read people very well, cries easily, can befriend anyone.

Area of greatest ability: travelling, communicating

Likes: travels, talking, being around people, sweets, gazing at the moon, helping others, being productive, mora

Dislikes: being manipulated, old creepy spaces, when Paimon screams, not knowing what people are talking about

Fears/triggers: the heavenly principles, being alone, someone touching the place his wings used to be

Kins: slime, light, yellow, cooking, stars.

Family: Lumine (biological twin sister) Paimon (found family lil sibling) Dainsleif (found family uncle)

Relationship status: has a crush on Lyney

Friends: basically 99% of vision ielders in Teyvat (non-vision holders don’t like them very much, so Aether’s close circle is limited to vision holders)

Disabilities: autistic and non-verbal, communicates through sign language.

Belief: believes the cosmos to be a god.

Name: Lumine

Gender: trans woman, she/her

Pictures of character:

Appearance: white, ethnically english, athletic, has tanner skin than Aether, short blond hair and blue eyes, scars through her body and face (including burn scars)

Age: chronologically unknown, but is phisically, mentally and psychologically 16

Sexuality: lesbian

Personality: sincere, grumpy, very protective and kind in private, brave, bold, just, hypoempathetic.

Area of greatest ability: Fighting

Likes: fights, listening to stories, hunting (it can be fatui, abyss mages or just some animal), meat, being around her friends, glaze lilies

Dislikes: people who are cruel, people who think of themselves as superior, the heavenly principles, being defenseless, bad parents

Fears/triggers: not being able to fight back, losing her family, friends or girlfriend, cruelty towards children

Kins: painting, nature, white, galaxy

Family: Aether (biological twin brother) Paimon (found family lil sister) Dainsleif (found family uncle)

Relationship status: dating Ayaka

Friends: surprisingly, she gets very well with vision holders and will refer to them as her friends. However, the same can’t be said about those that look on a bad way to them on the streets and later want her help

Disabilities: autistic and non-verbal, communicates through sign language

Belief: is an atheist

Name: Paimon

Gender: agender, she/they

Pictures of character:

Appearance: white, ethnically english, has albinism, white hair, blue eyes, has atrophied legs

Age: chronologically unknown, but is phisically, mentally and psychologically 6

Personality: chatty, communicative, easily excited, petty, naive, egohistical, very worried about her friends even though they doesn’t show it.

Area of greatest ability: learning languages

Likes: food, learning different languages, bright colors, when people are nice to them, talking, hearing Aether and Lumine's stories about other worlds

Dislikes: being yelled at, not understanding things, when she can't help Aether and Lumine

Fears/triggers: the heavenly principles, memory loss, losing her family, being called useless

Kins: plushies, food, sky, rainbow, glitter.

Family: Aether and Lumine (found family older siblings) Dainsleif (found family uncle)

Friends: she says they’s friends with everyone she talks to, but is specially close to Sigewinne, Itto, Diona, Klee, Yaoyao, Qiqi, Sayu Nahida

Disabilities: autistic, hyperverbal, hypermobile, has way too weak legs to walk on her own and uses a rollator when not flying, if human would be diagnosed with a neuromuscular disease and ehlers-danlos syndrome

Belief: believes a little bit in every religion they ever came across

Name: Dainsleif

Gender: nonbinary transmasc, he/they/it/zyr/ey/shadow

Pictures of character:

Appearance: white, ethnically german, pale, tall, has blond hair, blue eyes, eyebags, his scar looks like a Chemical burn one

Age: 554 chronologically, 54 physically

Sexuality: unlabeled

Personality: enygmathic, curious, kind, comprehensive, quiet, very attached to his principles.

Area of greatest ability: writing

Likes: sparing, talking about home, being around his niblings, gazing at the stars

Dislikes: the gods, talking to other people, the Abyss Order, being unable to help his people, sweet food

Fears/triggers: cataclismic events, giving up to corruption, things that resemble the destruction of Khaenri'ah

Kins: blue, black, painting, cleaning, space.

Family: Aether, Lumine, Paimon (found family niblings)

Relationship status: was dating Halfdan before the Cataclysm

Friends: today, the only person it says are zyrs friends are his old knight comrades

Disabilities: autistic, PTSD, depression, aphantasia, partially blind on his right eye, hypocondriac, chronic pain due to the curse, uses a cane to walk

Belief: is an atheist

All pictures are made with this picrew: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1931531

#genshin headcanons #genshin impact #cringe culture is dead #be cringe be free #mogai headcanon #disability headcanon #queer headcanons #aether #lumine #paimon #dainsleif

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moontouched-cryptid · 10 months

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Ooc: Demetra is a questionablly good person, if you look at it the right way. She's got a moral code and compass.

She's also (secretly)* a Giovanni with much of what that entails.

Name: Demetra Philomena Giovanni Nickname: Demi

Pronouns: She/Her Sexuality: Demisexual/Questioning Age: Young adult in appearance. Height: 4'11” Clan: Gangrel** Giovanni

Generation: Unknown Demenor: Feral Nature: Survivor/Feral Path: Humanity (low) Aura: Black veins, very thick.***

Also: Dolche. A creature made from matter/death magic.

General TW for allusions to incest, child abuse, child endangerment, body horror, abuse (emotional), abuse (religious), cannibalism, murder, dealing with trauma, ABA, Ableism, forced masking/pretending to be okay

Demi is somewhat based on me and her family tried to make her act allistic. She is Autistic and was not diagnosed.

Demtra has sensory processing disorders, as well as emotional processing ones. So she will be volatile sometimes and excitable at others. And can get overstimulated quite easily.

There will be references to incest due to her family.

*(got caught because she's an arrogant dumbass) **She is a filthy liar who lies and did the forbidden sippy (mun cannot spell it and doesn't want to look it up every time) ***At least THREE times (god forbid a woman do anything)

#pinned post

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lonelier-version-of-you · 1 year

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Alright, I’m gonna watch S15E12 “Blood Ties”. Luc’s second-to-last episode, and, if I’m remembering correctly, Arthur’s debut. This should be interesting. (And, obviously, I’m excited for the episode coming up next, even though I’ve watched that one like a million times before. 😉)

Edit 1: It looks like Luc is finally getting some decent screentime! Also... yeah, he’s well and truly entered his Gaskell era.

Edit 2: It was nice of Ric to try and apologise to Lilah. Although I’m not sure it’s the wisest idea to set up your apology to the woman who’s accused you of sexual harassment by... asking her to come see you one-on-one in your office.

Edit 3: Luc really is reminding me of Gaskell at this point.

Also, Sacha calling Luc “Spock”. That reminds me of Arthur (who hasn’t turned up in this episode just yet) joking about Henrik being a Vulcan.

Edit 4: Luc’s been sleeping in his lab :(

Edit 5: I’m counting Chantelle being easily roped into Lilah’s “let’s trick the writer patient into signing an autograph to see if something’s wrong with his hands” plan as an Autistic Chantelle Moment, because I’d probably also be easily roped into something like that and I’m autistic so there. 😂 (It does make me a bit sad how often Chantelle’s colleagues seem to take advantage of her naivety though. Although I suppose we don’t know if Lilah picked Chantelle on purpose, or if she just wanted to get the nearest nurse she could find to help her.)

Edit 6: Oh jeez, the patient waking up during surgery!! 😩

Edit 7: So the patient is a lonely, depressed writer with identity issues. Yeah, I can relate.

Edit 8: I love Tara.

Edit 9: Agh, I thought I had enough time to watch the episode all in one go this evening, but then it glitched. I got up to the scene where Sacha and Luc are operating on Dean, if anyone’s wondering. I’ll watch the last 20 minutes of the episode later.

Edit 10: Alright, it’s been like 2 hours, back to the episode! (I figured out another way to watch it, so hopefully it won’t glitch anymore.)

Edit 11: Chantelle to Lilah: “You’re good at doctoring. Being a good doctor. Whatever the word is.” <3

Edit 12: I like Nathan the guest star consultant bloke.

Edit 13: Oh, so this is the episode where Luc has his famous breakdown.

Edit 14: Awww, Ollie giving advice to his patient! :) Awww, Ollie admitting he wants to spend the rest of his life with Tara. :(

Edit 15: Ric’s apology to Lilah was lovely. (I do feel bitter, though, that we never got a scene like this of Henrik apologising to Sahira when what Henrik did was way worse and was actual harassment.)

Edit 16: Oh, Luc :(

Edit 17: I can’t say I’m a fan of the “Hawaiian” party theme with the fake-grass skirts and all that. :/ They could’ve just had a generic beach party and it would fit the same “warm-climate party in the middle of winter” idea.

Edit 18: Chantelle getting a drink named after her at Albie’s is cute.

Edit 19: Ollie is being a bit of a dick. Him trying to propose to Tara was sweet though.

Edit 20: Aaand Lilah’s leaving.

Edit 21: Not Torchwood Boy cheating on Chantelle with Mary-Claire!! Chantelle deserves better!!

Edit 22: Arthur!! There he is! He was cutting it a bit fine there, lol, not turning up until the literal last 10 minutes of the episode. I didn’t realise his first scene was with Chantelle.

Edit 23: “Thanks, Mary-Claire! You deserve him!” 👏👏 You go, Queen Chantelle!! Seeing her stick up for herself is great.

Edit 24: “Happy new year, Tara.” “Yeah, I think it’s going to be.” 😭😭

Edit 25: Next up is “Hanssen/Hemingway”!!!!! I’m so excited.

Also... I’ve just seen Andy Bayliss credited as a script editor!!!!! I honestly didn’t realise he had worked on the show before he started writing episodes but all of a sudden, a lot of things make complete sense. Of course he understands Henrik so well, he was working on the show during series 15, Henrik’s best era!! No wonder all his Henrik episodes have always been so good!!

#holby s15 rewatch #tw;sexual harassment mention

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ourlastbastion · 2 years

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My Sc-Fi Fantasy story stars;

A- An autistic science-focused ruler of a kingdom who was manipulated for most of her life into letting two traitors rule in her stead so she could focus on her passion; studying the hyper-advanced technology of an ancient, dead civilization. (They do get the boot and she does become an active ruler early on in the plotline) A genius, passionate, loves her companions so dearly but not herself. Also part dragonfly, her kingdom is full of avian/bug people and is built upon mountains.

B- A fairly brainwashed child-soldier survivor who spent from ages 8-17 acutely aware that he was going to be executed at 17, but was also went through ten years of brutal military training during that duration like all other children of his homeland. It sucked. He stole a scouting vehicle and fled, lived alone in a forest for a whole year before meeting the above character. Has no experience in a ‘normal, healthy’ environment since his whole life was being stressed AF and on alert 24/7. Doesn’t even know what cake is. It’s surprising how much trauma can fit such a small body. He’s a Beast, meaning he looks more animal than human)

They’ve fairly conflicting personalities. A is an overly-excited woman who wants to collect and study everything, and easily distracted. B is a very pragmatic ‘bare necessities’ person who was conditioned to focus on the task at hand and not be distracted. B is overly cautious, A is blindly reckless. A often forgets boundaries, B tries to keep everyone at arms length and uphold ‘hierarchal respect’ .

But they’re also pretty similar. Both are overly kind, always wanting to help others even to their own detriment, though they show and share their kindness in different ways. Both are reluctant to let go of people who hurt and used them because that person has been a part of their life for so long they don’t want to believe they were being used and don’t know what to do with a new void in their life. They both have no understanding of going to sleep and resting, overworking themselves.

They get along fabulously from the moment they met, trust each other, understand each other.

They also nearly died and saved because the other dragged their half-dead corpse to an amoral scientist with questionable credentials, and each both possesses a shiny, magical space rock.

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daughter-of-melpomene · 2 years

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💕 + Hey! I’m Poppy (she/her), I’m autistic, and thus very shy and easily obsessed. I also have anxiety and depression lol so ✌🏻. Don’t want to overshare, but letting you know I need support. I write a lot and enjoy writing poetry and reading. I love Marvel and Star Wars and everything lol. I like painting! Not like seriously, like just for fun, I don’t worry about it too much. I’m often ‘away with the fairies’ as they say lol. I’m very close to my family and have 4 older brothers. I’m the only girl. I have short, shoulder length, curly, blonde hair and blue eyes. I’d call myself ‘chubby’ lol. Also! I’m bisexual, so any female or male is fine!

Thanks a lot for this! I would have to ship you with one of my MCU OCs, Daniel García!

Wherever you and Daniel meet, whether at Kamar Taj or just out and about, I feel like he would immediately be drawn to you. He tends to be drawn towards quieter people, having not had the chance to be around them for most of his life. He might hesitate to start a conversation with you, not wanting to scare you off, but if he notices you reading poetry? He will gladly take that as an in and strike up a conversation with you about whatever poet you happen to be reading, asking you what your favorite poems and type of poems are.

If you ever show him your paintings, this man will be thrilled you actually like him enough to want to show off your art. Expect a barrage of compliments on the work, and definitely expect him to tell you how jealous he is of you, since he can barely draw a straight line with a ruler. He's completely enamoured with your artwork from there on out, and will ask if you're comfortable with letting him look every time you finish a new piece.

And don't even worry about needing support for your anxiety and depression - Daniel will be the most helpful and sweet boyfriend ever when it comes to that stuff. Having anxiety himself, he knows a bunch of good coping methods for if you're overwhelmed or just not feeling something that day, but if his methods don't work for you, he'll be more than open to trying whatever else does. And if you're struggling with your depression, he will be more than willing to do whatever you need him to do. You need him to bring you things? Remind you to eat and take whatever meds you need? Just lay in bed and cuddle with you all day? All you need to do is say the word, and he's there, willing to do whatever you could possibly need.

Finally, Daniel really loves getting to date a fellow bisexual, so expect him to make (perfectly innocent) jokes about the situation, and buy the both of you bisexual merch for Pride Month. He was shamed for his sexuality by his family so much growing up, it just makes him feel so excited to not only meet someone else like him, but actually get to love and date them. And on top of that, he's dating you, the woman who's made him the happiest he can ever remember being.

All in all, I just think you and Daniel would make an adorable, supportive, loving couple!! 🖤🖤🖤

(SEND ME 💕 + A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF FOR AN OC SHIP!!)

#ask answers #asks #oc ships #oc ask game #ginevranights #ch: daniel garcía #oc: daniel garcía #marvel oc #mcu oc

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corvixa · 3 years

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I am alive! Long, rambly post ahead.

So. I did a thing. After 2 or 3 years on a waiting list of therapy, I got it. Good right? Ahuh...

A weekly appointment at 10.30 am is apparently my kryptonite.

It was fine at first, but I got utterly sidelined with the cumulative effect and the fact I wasn't able to reset my energy. But, I was determined like, I'd breakthrough.

Uh. That did not happen. All I could do was attend that appointment. For the first time since I started writing again post house explosion, I couldn't even write. I managed to not some ideas down. Carry on a few plots in my head. Still, even with my insomnia, I was stuck with my facemask on, desperately trying to get enough energy to eat, and occasionally failing even that.

After I had to take a break for a few weeks running for dental appointments and Covid Vaccines, I gained enough energy back to do that look around and reflect thing.

Hell, I might not have been perfect before this, but I enjoyed things. I chatted with friends. I lurked in the Stark Tower discord plotting new ideas. I got to write. I got to do real-world hobbies. I got to spend time awake with my partners!

So, after my vaccine and several days with a very high fever, I kind of decided. Fuck it. This isn't worth it. I have clawed my little part of this world out, and I am not going to lose it.

Sometimes you have to weigh up the cost-benefit analysis. What good may come from these 16 appointments was utterly stopper by the bomb dropped on my life. So I came out of my fever cave of blankets, had an incredibly hot bath and decided this wasn't working.

The early appointment alone was killing me; I am crepuscular by nature. Not being sarcastic there; this is how I have dealt with severe levels of insomnia since age 12. I tried being an average human that wakes up in the morning and goes to bed at night for decades, and it didn't work. I am most active after 11 pm, and I nap during the day. It's not a perfect fix; if it were, the Gold series would literally not exist as that is my Insomnia in a cape. However, sleeping at least once in a 24 hour period nearly every day is THE WIN. Being not awake at 10.30 am, but already at an appointment, where I was expected to be coherent? Weekly? With no variable illnesses? Even the stint in hospital I had was around me making these appointments... Not getting better from fall.

Honestly, I have no idea what past me was thinking, but after they went to 2 or 3 appointments and didn't feel too bad, they committed hard to this course of action. That was a mistake that I thought I had learned a long time ago, that assessing the work-life balance is critical. This might not be work, but it was the same thing.

So, How am I doing? Better. Not aces, but the Covid fever of doom made me miss last weeks appointment. The week before, it was the Covid.2 Jab and today I had the dentist.

And this morning, before my dental appointment, I started writing. My partners were over the moon. I am not back on full capacitor yet, but I am clawing my way back. Heck, I felt alive enough to prat about in the garden as my partner wanted to take a few pics of me given my pairing of BRIGHT TOXIC GREEN tights and lace trousers. I realised I hadn't set foot in the garden since this therapy thing started. My dog, Loki, was bouncing around like a loon bringing me every stashed ball he could find.

If anything gives you clarity, it's the excitement of a collie confronted with man balls, your partner's joy at you starting something you love again and actually feeling like a human being.

Ness is calling the therapy people when she gets the social confidence points required to deal with bombing me out of this whilst being my stalwart wall, so I don't get bullied onto the phone (hello, Hemiplegic Migraine) or guilted back into just trying a few more sessions.

It's not like my therapist was bad. He was cool. He dealt with this ADHD, Autistic, Severe Insomniac, Asexual weirdo and never once questioned any of these identifiers. I just don't have the energy to do anything back to back, week after week, at 10.30 am—even fun things.

So, I am probably going to sleep a lot. I am not back to my previous form yet; my Hubs is saying I made it out of the cave, but I still have Palladium Poisoning because apparently, I have infected his brain to think of things in Iron Man metaphors.

This is a bit all over, but I felt like I wanted to get it down. Especially for anyone worried about my sudden absence.

TLDR, the road to hell is lined with good intentions; sometimes the good thing becomes the bad thing, sometimes you lose yourself trying to do things the right way, and everything ends up wrong. Sometimes the right thing is the thing people see as wrong. All I know is that I wrote something for the first time this morning because of insomnia, and I couldn't be happier. My mind is starting to pick up speed again, this dense dog of confusion, exhaustion and pain is clearing, and I have goals.

Which I think is what really matters, right?

Oh, side note, some things did get done whilst I was busy being a zombie. After nearly 3 decades of waiting, at 33 (yeah, I've wanted to change my name a long ass time.) I got my name changed! So I can sign this off in a way that makes me smile. I dropped my old first name, and took my first middle name as my new forname. (I was, and still am, one of those ginormous name people.) I also went back in history and timestoned my surname. (So, I was named utterly after my dad. Literally, I have the female version of his name >.< but I wanted to keep that connection to my genealogy whilst not having my dads name.) Boom.

Enjoy the earlier mentioned pictures of me pratting about in the garden. I am a photographer. I do not know how to pose. What you are seeing is sarcasm 😅. (If you want to know where the fabulous tights came from, Google Snag Tights. They are truly a miracle and a gift from the Gods. They have actual sizes and don't tear after one wear, even if you are more leg than human. So you stretch and destroy tights by walking.)

- Morgan / M-Mac-C

#easily excitable autistic woman #i am so tired #therapy #life kicked my ass #sleeping all the time is lonely as feck #name change #MMacC is the new me

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my-child-is · 3 years

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My Child is Neurotypical

So I made a few...dozen...posts on twitter about my experiences being neurodivergent. They’re a roughly 60/40 split between being autistic and having adhd with heavy overlap. They take the form of a parent in denial saying “My child is neurotypical” and the response of “Your child is X” where X is a common neurodivergent experience phrased as if coming from a teacher.

(I’ll be updating these as I make more)

Classroom

Your child was a pleasure to have in class

Your child can’t focus unless they’re playing with something

Your child has awful handwriting

Your child is tapping their foot through class

Your child just needs to apply themselves. They can clearly do the work but keep making silly mistakes

Your child had a breakdown over not getting all their homework done

Your child is quiet and struggling to stay on task

Your child thinks school was indistinguishable from torture but struggles without the structure

Your child needs outside structure or they can’t figure out what to do first

Sensory - Sound

Your child hears the CRT TV noise (double this if they hate it)

Your child needs to cover their ears any time you use a blender

Your child wants to know where that buzzing is coming from

Your child can tell if the fridge has been opened recently from the other room

Sensory - Touch

Your child can’t wear rough or slippery fabrics

Your child hates any texture beyond flannel (any other distinctive texture works too)

Your child hates tags on clothing

Your child overheats in thick socks

Your child wears sportswear but hates sports (@checkerfired1 on twitter)

Your child thinks water has a strange texture

Your child finds showering exhausting but also doesn’t want to get out at the end

Your child can’t stand the feeling of oil on their skin

Sensory - Light

Your child sat in the dark from noon til sunset before starting their day

Your child thinks sunlight is ‘too much’

Memory

Your child forgot they were hungry halfway through making dinner

Your child has had midnight new years pass by because they forgot to wait for it

Your child can’t keep a grasp on time

Your child is confused about how it’s already evening

Your child has over 50 tabs open in chrome

Your child can only ‘wing it’ because they always forget what they planned to say

Your child made a list of what they needed to do and forgot to check it

Your child came up with a ‘my child is neurotypical’ post but forgot

Stimulation

Your child can’t focus without background music

Your child thinks everybody is exhausted after conversations

Your child drinking caffeine is like a roulette wheel in its effects

Your child struggles thinking while seated

Your child likes to constantly be chewing on something

Your child finds crowds overwhelming

Your child finds existing at night less exhausting

Sleep

Your child is reading this in the middle of the night

All of your child’s friends live on the opposite side of the world because they can’t maintain a traditional sleep schedule

Your child had midnight new years pass by because they’re normally awake well past then even as an adult

Your child has trouble quieting their brain to sleep

Dyspraxia

Your child is extremely klutzy

Your child’s phone typing is riddled with typos

Empathy

Your child felt guilty for bumping into the table

Your child is painfully uncomfortable watching shows with awkward situations

Your child cries even thinking about somebody being in pain

Your child is extremely trusting with new people they just met

Emotions

Your child has lots of mood swings

Your child hates compliments because they’re sure they’ll disappoint and alienate anyone who thinks anything good about them (from @MaebyIsSweet on twitter)

Sharing

Your child shares extremely personal experiences with people they just met

Your child can talk for hours about the same subject without getting tired

Communication

Your child learned nonverbal communication from the family dog/cat

Your child gets frustrated because people can’t understand them

Your child has been discussing the same topic for 30 minutes without taking a break to breath

Your child tends to speak repetitively - they may feel somewhat scripted

Your child feels like an alien sent to observe humans

Your child cries when instructions aren’t clear enough

Your child communes with animals because they make more sense than people

Your child doesn’t see the point of small talk

Your child finds comfort in the scriptedness of small talk

Your child is anxious about misreading people’s intentions

Your child is anxious about contacting somebody because they think it’s too last second

Your child gets frustrated when instruction manuals skip steps

Your child is constantly anxious about misunderstanding

Your child needs subtitles to hear anything

Your child has times they struggle to make words

Consistency (Anxiety)

Your child asks for the same meal every time they come home

Your child watched a single movie more than 3 times in one day

Your child feels anxious watching new movies or tv shows

Your child nearly has a stress breakdown if plans change last second

Your child’s anxiety spikes every time you ask them a question

Your child has a favourite song they’ve listened to for a week straight

Your child finds split second decision making stressful

Your child gets anxious if they don’t exactly follow their daily routine

Masking

Your child can pick up accents easily

Your child grew up wishing they could just go live in the forest away from people

Your child gets anxious when you ask aabout their day

Your child emotionally relates to fictional characters more than real people

Your child has said ‘I just don’t have the energy to act human right now’

Your child has described people as ‘just too much’

Your child was so ashamed of being different they tried to reshape their personality so people would like them

Misc ones I haven’t really sorted yet

Your child is protective and doesn’t like anybody new coming into their room

Your child wishes it was easier to get up and do what they need to

Your child is confused by how other people relate to their gender

Your child thinks their functioning is an inconvenience to people

Your child is either ‘on’ or ‘off’ and there is no in between

Your child gets stuck in excitement feedback loops with their friends

Your child is convinced they just aren’t working hard enough

Your child is on their third hobby this week

Your child spaces out randomly during the day

Your child considers every step of getting dressed an individual task they have to do (from @sisi7304 on twitter)

Your child differentiates between food they like and food they think is good (@sweetmoonpigeon on twitter)

Your child has severe imposter syndrome about whether they’re neurodivergent ‘enough’

Your child isn’t sure what they’re supposed to do to be a man or a woman

Your child’s fingers and toes change colour in the cold

#neurodiversity #autism #adhd

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neurodiversebones · 3 years

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autistic brennan !!!

in my autistic opinion... here you go. a SLIGHTLY more organized version of what i have dropped in the DMs of anyone who is willing to listen, copy and pasted from a google doc i have so eloquently named "bones is fucking autistic" !!

this headcanon is like. 95% confirmed, which kind of makes my heart do a little "!!!" <3 idk brennan means a Lot to me and always did as a young autistic afab person :-) so here you go !! (under the cut)

okay SO here is my explanation for my headcanon, explained in bullet points- this took up multiple google docs pages so i hope you're ready

emotional display:

has absolutely zero poker face- we see this frequently. there are too many instances to count where she cannot hide her facial expressions !! it is also referenced by booth in late season 8, and i think a few other characters have mentioned it throughout the series?

this is especially in the earlier seasons, but her response to stress and trauma is Very Neurodivergent. she rarely has an outward response- it's so rare to see her cry before season 7/8 ?? this could also definitely be a trauma thing but like,,, trauma symptoms and autistic traits are unfortunately hard to differentiate between because autistic people tend to go through more traumatic situations

not exactly emotional display, but similar- she clearly has alexithymia, or something of the sort (basically, she struggles to recognize her own emotions). this is exhibited a few times- the one i can remember right now is "i don't understand what i'm feeling" "you understand happy, right?" (conversation with angela, season 9). this is actually something i have rarely seen in a character- at least not done well. it makes me very happy !!!

empathy:

she struggles to understand why others would think differently than her- her view of the world is Correct in her eyes, and she finds it difficult to look from someone else's point of view. this frequently ends in her criticizing those around her- her view of the world is incredibly black and white, so when others disagree with her, she believes they must be wrong.

extension of the black and white thinking- she doesn't understand concepts, no matter how hard she tries. she needs evidence and proof. examples of this would be her views on god/religion, love (pre-season 6), and marriage (pre-season 8)

despite her lack of empathy toward people, she exhibits a lot of empathy toward animals. this is actually a really common autistic trait?? examples of this would be her emotional attachment to the dogs in 4x04, or her explosive reaction to finding out the tiger was killed in 8x04

social/conversational skills:

this is probably her most obvious and easily recognizable autistic trait- it's what made me go "she's autistic" after watching a few episodes

she does not understand jokes or sarcasm very well- she frequently gets confused by jokes, explaining why they aren't funny or don't make sense, especially pop culture jokes. when she does understand jokes or pop culture references, she gets very excited and explains them out loud, even though everyone around her already understands (just adding- i love this so much ?? her explaining jokes is Very Cute. i'm sorry i'm a simple gay who can't go ten minutes without declaring my love for her)

struggles with small talk and social niceties- this is used as a joke in nearly every episode. she doesn't do small talk well- preferring to talk about topics that are actually important or interest her. she doesn't see the need for most social conventions either, which leads to her frequently being seen as rude.

she misses social cues in conversations- she frequently brings up topics that are probably not Appropriate for the setting (talking about dead bodies in a restaurant, talking about sex while standing over a dead body, etc.)

she is incredibly literal, and doesn't understand metaphorical speak. this goes hand in hand with the not understanding jokes- she takes many phrases at face value, sometimes confusing others

tone:

she frequently comes off as cold or blunt without meaning to be- many people read her as "heartless" or just uninterested because of the way she speaks, even when she is very invested.

i don't know how to explain this other than her speaking pattern is Very Autistic- the way she pauses mid sentence all the time, the facial expressions she makes while speaking, it's all autism babey !!!

intense focus on one topic:

okay it's very obvious that her special interests are forensics and anthropology

she gets hyperfocused, often losing herself in her work and putting herself through the ringer for it. she puts her work above (almost) everything, and has stated on multiple occasions that she would be nothing without her work.

she often explains the things around her with references to anthropology and ancient civilizations- she uses these references to explain her feelings, the situations she's in, and frequently, to solve crimes. things make sense to her when she thinks about them like this.

not engaging with peers in an "expected" way:

she is often showed to have difficulty getting close with people- she doesn't like showing emotion to others, and would rather just talk about the task at hand. this could very well be explained by her trauma background- but i believe it's probably a bit of both.

she finds it difficult to bond with her peers over common things, like pop culture, and rather talks about work or other things. she doesn't open up to a lot of people, even those who she is incredibly close with.

other/misc.:

stimming !! this doesn't have enough instances to get its own section, but i like to interpret that wonder woman scene as vestibular stimming, purely because i love to spin and jump !!!!

detail oriented, to the point of obsession. it's common for autistic people to get caught up in the details of things, which she definitely does.

views on sexuality differ from the "norm"- she is very critical of monogamy during the first half of the series, and does not see the point in marriage. also she's definitely arospec, just putting that out there <3

i am autistic and i love her therefore i'm right

final notes:

i think she's one of my favourite autistic characters to exist- i usually despise the socially awkward detective trope, but it's handled well here. the people around her don't expect her to change the innate aspects of who she is- rather, they love her unconditionally (even if they are exasperated at times- which is natural to feel with people that you love)

i very much like that they didn't go with the socially awkward + smart = unattractive trope either- she knows that she's hot, and so do the people around her. i'm so sick of nerdy girls not being allowed to be hot 😭 especially when it comes to autistic-coded characters- let autistic people have sex lives 2k21

she just,,, holds a very special place in my heart. as an undiagnosed autistic afab kid, she meant a lot to me. i saw a woman on screen who was smart like me and sometimes confused people because of her intelligence, who didn't really get social situations, who didn't know how to express how she felt. she was like me- and she loved herself, and people loved her. she's a very important character to me and has been since i was really young <3

thank you SO MUCH to anybody who read this- brennan is the loml and i will infodump about her until the end of time

#bones tv #bones on fox #temperance brennan #bonestv #brennan #emily deschanel #autistic headcanon #autistic pride #actuallyautistic #autistic brennan #autistic bones #autistic characters #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #my headcanons

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butchsophiewalten · 2 years

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pls give us the autistic headanons I have a chronic illness called projecting and if my faves aren't like me I die

Okay so! I actually do have like. extremely specific ideas about the way I think these characters experience autism, but something that permeates through all of them is my thinking that, because of the time period, they'd likely go most of/their entire lives undiagnosed (and maybe not even self-diagnosed). Otherwise I think I will have to split them up into paragraphs, which i will be putting under a readmore because this got very long !

Jenny- I'm starting with Jenny actually because I feel like no appreciates autistic Jenny hcs. I think she experiences echolalia (specifically as in, repeating the last few words of a sentence that has been spoken to you before responding, as a way to process what was said) and that she has a LOT of trouble with volume control. I also think she has a difficult time just, phrasing sentences? Similarly to how autistic people sometimes speak very formally because of the way their brains process speech and vocabulary, except her vocabulary isn't formal, it's just very particular.

She was also (canonically!) a bit of a 'weirdgirl' rowdy-type kid (digs in mud plays with worms) when she was little, and I think for that she was pretty ostracized by her peers, who considered her annoying. And I think as a teenager she learned to like, massively overcorrect for it, and became a huge wallflower who kept her head down and never opened up to people and had very little friends, and absolutely no close friends (i also imagine like, late 60s early 70s internalized homophobia compounding this. just in a lot of ways she felt like the way she was was unacceptable and that she needed to try and suppress herself as much as possible.) And eventually she grew out of it, but i think she still has a problem with looking too far into/being too vigilant about social cues, which is something she does as a self-defensive mechanism, so she can back off when she thinks people are getting annoyed with her.

I've talked about it before on my blog but I really love the idea of Jenny like. connecting with other queer people in her early adulthood. and those relationships giving her like a comfortable, reliable social network and a sense of self-assurance. So as a 26 year old woman I think she's finally settled into a happy middle-ground between being able to mask as a means of self-preservation, but also being confident in herself and not feeling the need to mask in every social situation all of the time.

Jack- Most of my Jack Walten autism headcanons come from my friend Samsa @pespillo, i love the idea that he has shaky, fidgety hands, and that instead of being adverse to eye contact, he's too direct with it and maintains it for too long, and ends up accidentally making people uncomfortable. In terms of my personal headcanons, i think he gets overwhelmed by loud/intrusive noises and bright colors relatively easily, but that instead of making him uncomfortable or nervous, it makes him extremely frustrated, which is where he gets the reputation of having a bad temper.

Which is where i also get the idea that him and Jenny wouldn't get along because of their conflicting neurotypes, Jenny's just too loud and sporadic and excitable, it would really get on his nerves. I remember Martin also mentioning in the discord server that Jack "wouldn't get Jenny's jokes" which stands out to me because Martin generally considers Jack to be like a funny guy who jokes around a lot, and the idea of there just being like a complete mutual (autism-related) misunderstanding between him and Jenny where they just do not get eachother is hilarious to me.

Susan- I really like the idea of Susan having both autism and ADHD, but I don't have any personal experience having ADHD, so I have far fewer extremely specific 'im-projecting-this-onto-her' kinda headcanons for that. I feel like of anyone Susan's the most likely to have gotten a diagnosis, or at least to have figured out on her own that she has some kind of neurological condition, but I don't think she would be able to identify the differences between her symptoms of ADHD and her symptoms of autism (and in some ways neither can I. there's a few things i imagine for her that could be caused by either) especially considering there's already so much overlap between the two.

For specific things, I think engineering is like a lifelong special interest of hers, and she could talk about it for a very long time if given the opportunity. I think the BSI tech support audio logs function for her both as a log of the work she's doing with BSI and as an excuse to infodump about the engineering work she's passionate about. I also think she stims a lot by playing with her hair, and that's really the only reason she keeps it long. Otherwise it's actually pretty troublesome for her since she has to tie it up to keep it from getting caught in the machinery.

Martin's mentioned in the discord server that's she's very blunt, in like an honest-to-a-fault kinda way. She has a tendency to blurt things out to people that end up coming across as really rude, though Martin insists that shes not mean, which is important to me. She also seems pretty deadpan whenever she's not talking about her lifelong passion of engineering, and i like imagining that all of that is autism-related.

Sophie- Ok autistic Sophie is like a classic at this point. Like this is a very widely shared headcanon which I'm appreciative of honestly its nice :) I like the idea that she's generally pretty deadpan and soft-spoken, and I imagine her being pretty low-empathy because I'm. projecting that onto her. I feel like she both masks all of the time and doesn't really mask at all, because she's only ever noticed certain tendencies that seem to make people uncomfortable and tried to mask them, but she doesn't really think to do things like inject emotion into her voice because she doesn't really notice that she's deadpan otherwise. Its like, she doesn't really know what masking is and how to either start or stop doing it. She probably knows that there's something that makes her 'weird," but i doubt she attributes it to autism. I can imagine her rationalizing it as either something her pills are doing, or as a symptom of whatever it specifically is that she's being medicated for.

Random specific things, I think horror is a big special interest for her, I think she bounces her leg a lot and, in private, flaps her hands and rocks back & forth. I think whenever her and Jenny started sleeping in the same bed together, sleeping became a lot easier for her, and she may or may not have connected that part of the reason for that the sensation of being held by Jenny, like the pressure of it and the warmth of her body heat, is really comforting to her.

I also feel like her temperament irt autism is a lot like Jack's, and in that she does actually end up clashing with Jenny a bit. I particularly imagine Jenny getting panicked or nervous when she's seeking out social cues from Sophie to know she's not annoying her, and isn't getting any because Sophie just. doesnt do that. Like, Jenny just isnt used to spending time with other autistic people and there's a huge learning curve for it that she couldn't have expected. Also Sophie just getting overwhelmed with Jenny for being too loud or too physically affectionate. But they're working it out because they love eachother :)

#chirps #i was on a roll writing this and then i got really burnt out by the time i got to sophie imsorry.#anyway. VERY long headcanons post. i dont know if i've ever written one this extensive #I've definitely forgotten things as well. i might add to this or make another post about it eventually #but enjoy muah #ask

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hannah-the-red-head · 3 years

Text

A Third Submission to the Imagines Society”

(League of villains meets an Autistic child with a quirk that is the definition of too good for this world and then some)

You were a tiny thing when Twice, Toga and Magne stumbled across you at the park, staring intently at what looked like your shoes with your back turned.

Magne summarized that you were most likely around 5 or 6 years old based on the kindergarten uniform you wore, the adorable hat hanging on your back while your (h/l), (h/s) (h/c) was out and about. Usually, the tree would lose interest after a while and go about their merry way.

But there was something about you that made them stay, Toga’s curiosity getting the best of her as she skipped over to where you were on your knees, she then peeked over a shoulder to see you staring in awe at butterfly that was softly moving it’s wings while resting on the petals of a blossom planted in the nearby garden.

It was one that she had never seen before, well at least in real life, but the sandy blonde remembered that she had once seen it on the internet somewhere.

It was a monarch butterfly, and last she or anyone else knew, the species were hanging by a thread and close to extinction over the last 56 years. She had admit that the pictures were close to nothing compared to the real thing as Toga watched with starry eyes at how the orange colors splashed with black and white glowed in the sunlight.

Magne herself, followed by Twice then decided to follow toga’s lead when she began to giggle like an actual schoolgirl instead of the blood obsessed vampire they knew and loved. The two peeking at the sight of both you and Toga being the surprising perches of a collection of what looked to be more Monarch butterflies that seemingly appeared out of no where.

And one of them was perched right on the tip of Toga’s nose.

Meanwhile, you had taken notice that you had a butterfly watching buddy the second you felt her crouched down next to you, your glowing (e/c) eyes staring at her with curiosity before deciding that she was interesting enough for you to deem her harmless, despite not knowing the truth.

Because in your young and innocent head, anyone that appreciated butterflies as much as you did was a good person and/or possible friend in your book.

She looked at you when she felt your eyes on her and gave you a big smile, which from what you learned meant that she was happy. So that meant that she likes you too. You smiled widely back and a series of bright rainbow colored balls of light lifted themselves off your little form, your quirk creating more butterflies from them while your new friend’s eyes sparkled.

Your quirk was called Wonder, the specialist who gave it that name having been inspired by the same emotion felt after witnessing you use your quirk at first hand to bring a rat back to life after it had been killed by a mousetrap, and later on when they returned back to the room to see that it had been filled with butterflies flying beautifully above them.

Nowadays, you mainly used your quirk to create butterflies.

Why?

Because butterflies made you happy, they made you calm, they took your worries away... and watching them was akin to what your therapist at the orphanage called stimming, your hand movements if you easily became overwhelmed resembling a butterfly flapping it’s delicate wings.

You were also fond of anything that felt like the texture closest to what you thought butterfly wings looked. However, this obsession was also the reason why your were ostracized by the other children, ignored completely by them at the worst despite how hard the workers at the orphanage tried to explain what your condition was.

You didn’t understand why the workers had the need to get the other kids to like you, if you wanted friends, you’d get some yourself on your own.

And you never understood why you had to take speech therapy, wasn’t writing in your notebook enough? You hated loud noises, they scared away things, things that are... nice.

Things like butterflies and rats and rabbits and deer, which meant that you couldn’t appreciate them anymore if they left.

So, why was there a need to make noise or let alone talk? You could never control how loud your voice was anyways. You didn’t care about how sometimes you overheard the caretakers at the orphanage whispered things about how alien you acted.

Which led to where you were now, little you having completely forgotten that you were separated from the other children heading back towards the orphanage after school had finished when you eyes spotted a flower that looked familiar until your quirk manifested the butterfly.

They sounded as if you were broken as a human.

When in reality you weren’t, you weren’t broken and needed to be fixed. At first it made you believe those words, but the moments where your eyes caught onto anything relating to those paper thin wings that radiated with the colors of the rainbow, you’re mind went to an alternate world where those who spoke about your strangeness were nonexistent.

It was then that you remembered seeing the same flower from the picture book at your school, the pink and green flora being the type of chosen roost for the orange, white and black insect to rest on if they got tired.

You never knew how much time passed when you felt your new friend’s presence near you until you turned around silently to see a schoolgirl older than your smiling peacefully at your creation, who then smiled at you.

Smiles meant something good, right?

Your quirk activated instinctually, your subconscious telling you to make your friend happy again by creating more things that made her happy, like how butterflies made you happy. You watched as the manifested insects flew over to the girl and rested on her shoulders, two nestled on the wild hair of her twin buns and one on her nose, the sensation of it’s delicate wings tickling her skin bringing a giggle out of her.

You copied her, giggling as well as you knew that laughing is what friends did. The exchange between you two led to a pair of others appearing behind your friend, the both of them watching in awe at how gentle you were.

Meanwhile in their perspective, Twice and big sis Magne were in awe.

This was a side of Toga that the pair had never seen before, so their interest in you grew steadily as they approached you both, seeing that the number of butterflies had grown the closer the became, the same orbs of light appearing to change into other species before the skies above the park had clouds of multicolored wings flying above like a piece of artwork created by nature.

It felt like a blessing to witness a sight like this, a much desired peace accomplished after so many months of being on the run from heroes and the police.

Twice jumped up and began to comically twirl about among the flocks of winged bugs, his splitting personalities having been silenced by the Nirvana he felt surrounding him, only stopping when he heard a few giggles left your mouth while you tried to keep up with him and Toga’s free styling dances without a care in the world.

The four of you not caring that you were getting strange looks and even scowls from those who crossed your paths in order to get a better look at the butterflies conjured by your beautiful quirk.

By the time the sun had set, you and your new friends had collapsed onto the grass, laughing in between breaths from all the fun you shared in those hours of innocent fun.

And you were the one to give that sense of childhood purity of fun back to them without realizing it. In your mind, you were happy that you had finally made friends by yourself as with a kick of your short legs you sat up and turned to the one closest to you, a tall woman with sunglasses and short hair the other two called “Big Sis Mag”.

You poked her cheek and she turned her face towards yours. Taking a deep breath, you decided to try something new that you hadn’t done or were comfortable with.

You: (Yy...yourrr n....nnamme!).... (Your Name)!

It was hard at first, being silent for most of your childhood being the reason as to why you sounded like a newborn attempting to say their first word. But the pride you felt as you pointed to yourself when you said your name clearly on the second try was amazing.

“Big Sis’” eyebrows shot up in surprise, and you understood why she was shocked as the only noises you made were giggles and squeals.

You: (Your name)!.... B-big sissy... Mmmmmag! Fr...friends! T-t-too...Toga! Fri..ends! Twi...Twice! Friends!

All three had unknown expressions present while you gave them a wide toothy grin that you had never given anyone except for your mama.

Twice: I think I’m gonna cry.... No, I’m not! Grow a pair!

Twice cartoonishly wept through his mask, tears that would only exist within an Animé pouring from the eyes of his black and grey mask before stopping almost immediately, his face changing to that of a stoic man drawn in comic books.

Toga just smiled at Twice, before a weak tug on her cardigan pulled her attentions to you, your arms held out wide and with an excited glow to you. You always remembered the warmth your mother’s hugs were growing up, how safe and loved you felt when your adorable self tackled her leg in a weak koala hug before she pulled you into her own arms.

Toga: Oh does (y/n)-chan want a hug?

You nodded and tackled the blonde, arms wrapped around her neck with you cheek pressed against hers, something your mother called “cuddle bumps” as you hated it when someone kissed you.

You: C-cu-cuddle bu-bumps!

Twice: I want cuddle bumps! No, I don’t that’s weird!

You nuzzled your cheek against hers, the teenage girl internally squealing and hugging you back as she was overcome with a sense of some maternal need to protect you and the light your little self emanated, both figuratively and literally as your quirk caused you to glow a warm pink color.

Toga playfully stuck out her tongue towards him, when an idea came to her.

—————

Shigaraki: And the most logical thing that you could ever think of in that moment.... was to bring this brat home?!

Toga’s cheeks puffed up as she hugged your little form from behind while you fiddled with your quirk, a manifested butterfly perched in the palm of your hand. You loved the feeling of your big sister’s soft cardigan as she hugged you.

Toga: Of course, Shiggy! I mean they’re an orphan left behind by those “caretakers”, we even waited to see if anyone would come looking.

Twice: Yeah, it was so nerve wracking! I was bored beyond belief....

Shigaraki let out an aggravated sigh, knowing that you had wormed your way into the hearts of the most in the league, Dabi being the first to cave when you used your quirk to soothe the pain in his burnt skin. He didn’t know why, but the fire quirk user’s eyes softened when you gazed up at his skin and your smile faded, a look of genuine worry that he possibly never experienced in some time as your tiny hand went up to hold his hand with the both of yours.

The rest of the already shocked league watching as an aura glowed from your small form, the glow then moving up your arms and finally covering Dabi in the glow before then pulling away into orbs that popped like soap bubbles filled with fireflies.

Dabi reacted in a way that not even he could describe as all the unbearable burning pain his scars brought him disappeared, a strange surge of.... calm washed over him.

It was the kind of calm that one would feel when a powerful storm dissipates, allowing the warm sun to bathe the earth once again.

And it was the type of calm that brought a heavy exhale out of Dabi, almost as if he had finally learned to breathe, tears falling down his cheeks and startling him, a hand shooting up to touch his wet face and pulling it away to see what was falling from his eyes.

This... made the tears fall harder.

Dabi had long forgotten what it felt like to cry actual salt water tears instead of blood. A relieved upwards tilt pulled at his lips as he fell to his knees before you, no words exchanged, just glances and a gentle grip of your joined hands.

You: No pain?

Your concern overweighed your struggling speech, your free hand raising up to hover next to his cheek. He chuckled softly, allowing you to place your hands onto his face.

Dabi: No pain. All better.

Your quirk was befitting for such a gentle, caring and kind being as you.

To put it simply, you could restore a person’s injuries, negative outlook on life due to traumatic experiences, and even their lost sense of morality via through your touch, being in your presence, or even by witnessing your creations first hand.

This was your power, a quirk that purified the evil living within this cruel world.

You could literally restore a person or persons lost sense of morality, your quirk changing a sociopathic killer into a saint seeking redemption just by spending an hour with you.

Your quirk also allowed you to heal any kind of wound or cure any illness, it could even replace missing limbs and the like as long as you kept your focus.

And it was meant to be protected.

Which is why you were taken into the protection of the league of villains, the only group of people who were the first to actually care for you after your mama’s passing, and didn’t speak badly of you or your condition.

Because they didn’t mind that you were autistic, they didn’t see you as broken or wrong. How did you know that they didn’t ostracize you?

They told you.

Twice: You, broken? Ha, that’s fresh! At least you don’t have more than one voice in your head...

Toga: My quirk needs me to drink the blood of the person i’m going to transform into in order for it to work, and because of that, I was pushed away by everyone for how creepy it made me look.

Magne: Anyone would be proud to call you their kid with a drop of a hat. So what if your special needs, it doesn’t make you any less human, sweetie.

Dabi didn’t say anything when you asked, in your broken speech, if you were broken. Instead, he just ruffled your hair and let you wear his jacket all day.

Compress: This world is filled with imperfections, but who is to say that imperfections are ugly and unwanted. To me, imperfections are where true beauty lies as it shows that despite their flaws, they try again and again to make themselves better.

Spinner: Kid, I am a walking talking lizard with pink hair and a desire to follow Stain’s path to create a society where only those who embody the traits of true heroes like All Might are allowed to become heroes.

You didn’t know how to react as he continued.

Spinner: If anything, you are the most normal out of all of us, so don’t go hating on yourself because you’re brain is wired differently. You’re perfect just the way you are.

Magne: Aww, that’s so sweet of you to say, Spinner!

Spinner: BIG SIS MAGNE?!?! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?!

Toga: Enough to know that you give the best pep talks!~

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