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#eel pals
pyriteparasite · 1 month
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Does anyone know what this dialogue is a refrence to if so you getuhhihhh pyrite coin
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cheesenjoyer · 4 months
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GUYS GUYS EVERYONE EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!! PLEASE BE MY BUDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i like a lot of stuff n stuff and im 🆒 moray under the cut:33
stuff i like
vanitas no carte/the case study of vanitas
splatoon (PLEASEEEE PLAY IT WITH MEEEE)
eels
the summer hikaru died
garfield
omori
lots of other stuff just ask :33
warioware games (LIVE LAIGH ASHLEY)
school bus graveyard(the webtoom)
pjsk
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music i like!!!!
the front bottoms
panuccis pizza (GUHHHHHH THE BEST)
the scary jokes
sodikken
splatunes
other stuff too + ill losten to stuff u want me to listen to
stuff about me :3
im reallu bad at typing 💔
i like drawing little critters
i tryan squeeze eels into everything i say
pepper jack cheese is my favorite food
i have 3 cats pitpat the fat and phill the chill and tomfoolery the fool
my birthdays on november 30th and im 15 💥(idc how old u r as long as yr not gonna be wierd abt ir)
i like watching tv and reading stuff
my room is a MESS but theres plants so its FRESH
FRESH MESS
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stuff yiu can add me on :3(most pref to least pref)
discord- pepperjackcheeser
the great great world of tunblr- cheesenjoyer
snapchat- veryinsanechees
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thats it i think (woohoo)
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impmakesart · 8 months
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trapped
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baalzebufo · 2 years
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wow the new little mermaid remake looks great
anyway new fixation means new aus :) heres one weird fish and his new pal hanging out at the beach and scaring the tourists
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leavingautumn13 · 6 months
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oc-tober day 5: relationships
the poll i ran for this ended in a three way tie between three ocs who are, conveniently, all part of the same ship's crew.
rahifa and hrissock argue almost constantly but they are actually good friends. euphemia gets along with everybody.
(have you guys seen swans do the neck hug thing??)
[i have commissions open now]
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lovelygirlnicole15 · 1 year
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Oh! I've read that, and yeah, they REALLY deserve that but my question actually was...
HOW did they captured Rupert and whoever else is therem, was it like... breaking and entering, or kidnapped, or did they set them a trap?
I'm really curious about that
Oh it's really simple, few months after the Midnight-Ninja Clan was created, Henry had send the most highest and sneakiest criminals to capture Rupert, but when they we're about to take him away without getting caught, Victoria and the bounty hunters saw them, and they we're about to inform the general, but they were also capture by the criminals and taken away to the Midnight-Ninja Clan's cell area.
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What You Like
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Marc Spector x F!Reader x Steven Grant • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • MK Bingo 2024 Masterlist • ko-fi •
Summary: Marc gets in his head about being with you, Steven talks him through it.
🌛For @moonknight-events MK Bingo Spring 2024 Event🌜
A/N: There was a post about Marc talking Steven through his first time with reader, which I adored and couldn't stop thinking about. And then my brain went... but what if... the other way around? (I'm so sure I reblogged the post, or maybe it's in my queue, but I cannot for the life of me find it. Please if you know the one I'm talking about, let me know! I really would like to link it here. Also I'm so sorry I forgot who wrote it as well.)
Warnings: oral, fingering, so much swearing, some self loathing from Marc, I have used 'mate' far too much, as well as 'yeah?', kind of Marc being sort of into Steven talking to him, typos, railroad sentences, please let me know if I've missed a warning!
Word Count: 2213
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“She doesn’t like it so much like that, if you tilt your head to the side a little and-”
Marc snaps his eyes open and glares at Steven in the far-off mirror. “Fuck off.” He thinks hard, and Steven doesn’t have to hear him to read his expression.
“I’m just trying to help, mate.” He holds up his hands like all he had done is hold the door open for him or something. 
Marc glares harder, about to flip him off when you pull back from the kiss. 
“You okay?” 
Marc swallows, “Sorry, I, erm…” He hadn’t realised you’d noticed his distraction.
You smile at him and stroke his cheek. "You know, we don’t have to do anything,” you shift a little on the bed, giving him a fraction more space.
“No, no, that wasn’t…” he gives you a small smile in return and leans forward again to kiss you. “Steven, I need you to be quiet now, okay?” 
“I was just-”
“Steven.”
He tuts. “Okay, okay, I promise.” 
Marc inches a little closer, recovering the space you’d previously offered up. His thigh nudges against yours and you let out a little moan into his mouth as he swipes his tongue over your bottom lip. 
He didn’t know why he felt so nervous, anxiety like eels swimming in his belly, you were Steven’s girlfriend (and technically, his now? Or was that too forward?) you’d been in this bed, with this body before. And strictly speaking, Marc had looked in on you and Steven a few times in more… intimate moments. Accidentally, of course. 
This should be fine. Practically second nature. 
He tries to clear his head, to be more in the moment, and runs his hands down your back as he presses closer, leaning into you slightly to urge you to lay back onto the mattress. 
You move with him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him against you. Parting your legs slightly so that he can situate himself between them. 
He nips lightly at your lip, licking softly but confidently into your mouth as he just grinds his hardening cock against your core. Oh, and your barely muffled moan is delicious, the way you dig your fingers into his shoulders makes his head spin, if-
“Oh, that’s a good move. She definitely likes that.” 
“Steven! For fuck’s sake! I trusted you to be quiet!” 
“Sorry!”
Marc tries not to let the interruption show, but he jumps a little when Steven speaks and it’s impossible for you to have missed it. A small thorn of anxiety settles in his chest, piercing between his ribs. 
“Kiss her neck, she really likes that.” 
“Steven-”
“I’m just giving helpful tips!” He can feel more than see Steven shrug his shoulders. “You’re the one without any game.”
“Without any game? I’ve got more game than you.” 
Steven sorts. “Unlikely. When’s the last time you got laid? God only knows. I, however, had sex this morning.” 
“Steven.” 
“Just saying.” 
“Yeah, well, I'm gonna be having sex in a minute, so shut up.”
There was a moment of blissful silence and Marc let out a breath of relief. 
You hooked your legs over his hips, urging him closer and bucking up so that you could grind against him. The heavy drag of his jeans sending sparks of pleasure along your spine. 
He slips his left hand down, sneaking the tips of his warm fingers under your top and stroking at the soft skin of your side. 
“She’s ticklish there.” 
“Steven-”
You can’t help but giggle a little, squirming away from his touch and breaking the kiss. “Sorry,” you bite your lip, “I’m sorry, it’s just-”
“You’re ticklish.” Marc finishes and you nod smiling. 
“Sorry.” You mouth again. 
Marc shakes his head and smiles as he leans back down. “It’s fine, don’t worry.” He moves his hand away from your side. 
He’s barely pressed his lips against you for a second before Steven speaks again. “Told you.”
Marc inwardly grunts, rolling his eyes as he kisses along your jaw to your neck. He nips lightly at your skin, before sucking gently.
“Bit lower mate, that’s the spot.”
Marc scowled but followed the instruction, hatching onto the spot Steven suggested and you moan loudly, arching your back off the mattress. 
“See, she really likes that. Now if you just move your hand down and-”
Marc clenches his jaw instinctively, letting his frustration bubble over. Unfortunately, your neck is still between his teeth when they snap shut. 
You let out a little gasp of pain and Marc nearly blacks out from panic, instinctively moving to jerk backwards and away from you. But your arms tighten on his shoulders, your thighs clenching around his hips. 
You whimper and buck against him instantly. “Marc, fuck, please do that again.” 
He relaxes, tension easing out of his limbs as he growls faintly and does as you ask. 
“It’s okay mate, really. She’s not made of glass.” 
“Steven. I’m fucking gonna-”
“Hey,” Steven protested, “look, I don’t mind when you’re watching us go at it all the time, yeah?” 
Marc flushed. “I do not.”
“Yes, you do. And don’t think you’re being sneaky about it either. I can tell.” 
“I don’t mean to, it’s just…”
“Just what mate?” 
“It just… happens.” 
“Yeah, right.” 
Marc stays quiet, knowing that whatever he says won’t make him look good. He tries to ignore Steven, to just focus on you. To grind against you just right. But he could feel Steven hovering just in the background. 
You run your hands through Marc’s hair, pulling highly as you writhe under him and he can’t help but risk a sneaky look up at you, at how your eyebrows are pinched together, eyes closed in pleasure and…
Was it real? Or was it just for show? Did you always look like that when Steven…? He thinks back trying to recall the memories of watching in as much detail as possible. 
“Marc.” Steven’s voice is soft. 
But he doesn’t answer.
“Stop getting in your head about it, yeah? She’s here with you. She likes you. She wouldn’t pretend to be into something she doesn’t, ‘kay?” 
Marc swallows, trying to take Steven’s words on board and calm his quickly spiralling thoughts. 
But it doesn’t feel right. Nothing feels right, it’s all stiff and unsettled. Like his joints are just a fraction out of place. 
You can tell. He’s so sure that you can tell. Even if you are moaning and writhing against him, you must know. Must sense it. How out of alignment he is. How much of a failure. 
“Steven?"
There’s a fraction of a pause before he answers. “Hmm?” 
“What does she like?”
He can feel Steven’s frown. 
“What does she like? What should I do? You were full of tips a second ago, don’t lea-”
“Move your hand down,” his voice is a little softer than before. Compassionate. And Marc knows his emotions have bled through. “Slower.” 
Marc slowly runs his hand down your body, careful not to tickle your side, stopping just short of the top button of your trousers. 
“Kiss lower on her neck, just above her collarbone... that’s it.”
Marc feels a little warm at the praise, giddy even. 
“And just start to undo her trousers, yeah?”
He flicks the top button open and you whine, bucking up against him. You urge his face up with your hands so you can kiss his lips and slide your tongue into his mouth. A deep shiver runs along Marc’s spine, forcing his hips to buck mindlessly. 
You pull back for a second, just to lift your top up and over your head before dropping it to the side and his breath catches in his throat. 
“Trousers.” 
Marc all but jumps despite the soft tone of Steven’s voice and he quickly snaps his eyes away from your skin to focus on undoing your pants.
You grin at his eagerness and help him by wiggling out of your trousers and kicking them off your feet. You kiss Marc’s neck, your hands moving desperately to his jeans. 
“Touch her.”
Marc lets out a little moan as you suck on his pulse point. “Wha-”
Marc’s left hand moves under Steven’s control, slipping his fingers under the elastic of your panties and pressing two thick fingers inside of your heat. 
You gasp in surprise, your thighs twitching at the sudden intrusion, shifting wider to allow him easier access. 
Steven strokes two fingers languidly against your walls for a second, enjoying the little tremors and flutters before placing his thumb on your clit. “Can you feel that?” 
Marc nods inwardly, “fuck.”
“See how wet she is?” 
“So fucking wet.” 
Steven smiles, continuing the long, slow strokes for a second before retreating back and leaving their hand once more completely under Marc’s control. He falters for half a second before he quickly resumes the tortuous pace set up by Steven. 
You gasp and whine, flinging your head back against the pillow as you arch up your hips towards him, trying to buck and urge him to move faster. 
“Go nice and slow… yeah… like that…” Steven whispers in his ear and there’s something strangely comforting about it, something exciting at having him there, right with him. 
Marc bites his bottom lips between his teeth, watching your face with rapt attention. 
“Nice slow circles and nice slow strokes.” 
“Slow circles.” He mutters under his breath, almost inaudible. He glides his fingers back and forth, barely leaving you before pushing back in, revelling in the sound of your wetness. 
You buck and whine, grabbing hold of his forearm like you were hanging onto a lifesaver. “Marc- ah, please!” Your words are cut off by desperate half choked sobs. 
He continues to circle your clit gently, barely allowing any pressure so that you can only just feel the slightly calloused glide of his thumb. Your thighs started to shake, your movements becoming sloppy. 
“Take her panties off completely, yeah? She’s gonna cum in a second, you’re gonna want to see.” 
Marc obeyed without thinking, using his free hand to pull them down and groaning softly when you lifted your hips as best you could to help him. 
Fuck you looked so pretty laid out all before him- before them. 
You moaned particularly needily, already looking fucked out of your head and Marc hissed, unable to stop himself as he hurriedly leant down and flicked his tongue along your clit. 
Your little high-pitched cry made him go light-headed. 
“Fuck, god yeah, give it to her.” Steven’s arousal bled into his own, making him dizzyingly high. “God, make her cum, make her cum in our mouth Marc, please.” 
“Marc, oh god, please!” You whine at almost the same moment, your and Steven’s voice blending together in a harmony that made Marc’s dick throb. 
He sucked your clit into his mouth for a moment before running board, flat licks over it, continuing his fingers slow pump as he brought you maddeningly close to the edge. 
Steven moaned loudly, “fuck Marc, please, please, need to taste her cum. Then we can fuck her together, yeah? She feels so good, she makes the best little noises,” he groaned again, “she tastes so sweet doesn’t she?” 
“So sweet,” Marc mumbled against your pussy as he kept moving, kept sucking and licking and practically humping the mattress with his eyes pinched tight in pleasure. 
“Marc,” you whimper and pull on his hair with your free hand, urging him on, “you’re so good at this, so good, ‘m gonna cum-”
“Fuck, Marc, yes.” 
He couldn’t help himself, simply couldn’t. Found himself opening his mouth and letting the words spill out before he had even registered them. “Steven’s here too.” 
“Oh shit!” You gasp, your voice raising in pitch as your orgasm crashes into you, seizing your limbs in pleasure and whiting out your vision, before leaving you boneless and breathless. 
Marc stops moving slowly, trying to prolong your bliss for as long as possible. He bites his lip nervously as he sits up, your release and his spit covering the lower half of his face. Fuck, why had he said that, why had he gone and fucked this all up-
You smile up at him, still trailing your fingers through his thick curls. “Steven’s here too?” 
He nods as heat rises to his face. He stares down at your knee. 
“Look at her, mate.” 
He doesn’t move until you gently tilt his chin up with your hand. 
Your soft smile makes his heart ache. 
“I’m sorry…” he whispers. “Is that… okay? That he’s here?” 
You nod, your grin widening as you sit up and kiss him. It’s messy and deep, and Marc just melts into it. He whines against your lips as you wrap your arms around him, stroking your tongue with his own as you lick into his mouth. 
“Now, how about,” you say between kisses, your fingers tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt. “I get you out of these clothes and suck both of your dick.” You pause and pull a silly face at the odd-sounding, but technically correct singular use. 
Marc giggles and nuzzles into your neck. 
“Say yes mate!” 
“Yes please.” He mumbles as he sucks a love bite into your skin. 
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Thank you for reading!
@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @cocodiem @oscarisaacsspit @whatthefishh @mbakubabe @romanarose @pimosworld @jake-g-lockley @saturn-rings-writes @boredzillenial @lonelyisamyw-0love @melodygatesauthor @steven-grants-world  @eyelessfaces @angel-of-the-moons @minigirl87 @queerponcho
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shining-latios · 1 year
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little splatoon 3 salmon run observations/tips? I have made in my time playing (and also splatoon 2 I guess for applicable bosses) - if you fully ink over a flipper-flopper’s ring, no salmonid attacks/passive abilities will be able to re-ink the area until the flopper either is killed or recovers from stun, this includes missiles, steelhead bombs, steel eel trails, and the ink trails lesser salmonids leave behind from moving around. meaning it creates a temporary small area where you can swim freely without having to worry about rogue ink trails slowing you down
- at least in my own experience, drizzlers will typically aim their weather-bomb for the player that’s closest to them when they begin to take aim, meaning that if you are right up against a drizzler when it begins to take aim, you can use this to your advantage to CHOOSE where it aims its bomb, which also means you can just make it shoot it off into the ocean or another unoccupied area of the map where it will do minimal harm to other players
- a stinger will (usually) aim for the furthest player away from itself, meaning if you’re on low tide and want to give your teammates a break from rogue stinger fire, head to the back and for high ground as a way to draw their fire to you in an area where it’s less crowded and easier to dodge (and off of your pals)
- steel eels, for obvious reasons, cannot follow you up fish stick posts. steelheads also have difficulty aiming their bombs at you if you’re on top of a post and will usually just stand there staring at you instead of trying to attack you (UNLESS they’re on equally or near-equally high ground to you). that’s it. that’s the tip.
Some additional weapon tips:
- e-liter can one-shot steelhead bombs, steel eels, slammin’ lids, scrappers (only from behind), and unmasked flipper-floppers. it can also INSTANTLY pop a griller into its stun animation with a direct hit
- dynamo roller is able to run over cohocks without them needing to take chip damage first, prioritize rolling over flicks if you find yourself cornered by lesser salmonids if you get this weapon
- most blasters are able to one-shot stingers by aiming at the middle of their stack, as the explosion will take out the pots both above and below where you aimed. inkjet shots can also take down a stinger in one hit due to the blast radius when the shot connects
- every kind of roller EXCEPT the carbon roller can one-shot chum by just rolling over them, if you have a roller during a glowfly round, just stand in one place with the roller DOWN (preferably in an area the salmonids running at you can be bottlenecked easily) and gently nudge forward to clear out the chum while waiting for goldies
- the tenta-brella chute does enough contact-damage to one-shot both smallfry AND chum. if you’re cornered with this weapon by lesser salmonids, keep the chute open as much as you can until you can get to safety (this, like rollers, can also be used to protect your team during glowfly rounds)
- a fully charged shot from the grizzco bow will do as much damage to cohozuna as a shot from the egg cannon does, so if you’re able to, save power eggs for taking out other bosses rather than using them on cohozuna if you’re given this weapon and just hit him with charged shots instead
- common knowledge I know but explosher is able to take out flyfish bins without the use of a bomb, in addition, the crab tank’s cannonball and a shot from the inkjet gun can also do the same thing in a pinch
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palaeoplushies · 1 year
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A few new noodles join my Pangio Pals tank- this time four Pangio piperata (Peppered Eel Loach). They're only tiny weenie babies right now!
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gerogerigaogaigar · 7 months
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Alright here are ten more albums. These ones are just my personal picks. Some that you prolly don't know and some you definitely do. I think you should listen to all of them because I like them a lot and if you don't like them then I promise I will cry a little.
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Lemon Demon - Spirit Phone
Okay so I know that half of you just checked out because this is a 'meme album' and you simply will not take me seriously no matter what but honestly if that's you then go fuck yourself. Anyway Neil Cicierega is an internet fixture. He has brought us animutation, The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny, Mouth Sounds, Potter Puppet Pals, Brodyquest, Ariel Needs Legs, and probably a lot of other things I'm forgetting. So it isn't really a surprise that his first full album under the Lemon Demon moniker in a decade went down as a piece of weird internet errata as well. The thing is, Spirit Phone is a fucking masterpiece.
The subject matter is the occult, conspiracy theories, urban legends, aliens, cryptids, and conservatives. Nothing too weird, but the way he tackles these subjects is. Let's take Cabinet Man for example, it plays on the urban legend of the haunted arcade cabinet Polybius. But Cabinet Man is told from the point of view of the machine itself. It's about a man who turns himself into an arcade cabinet and about his life as an arcade cabinet. The very next track, No Eyed Girl, is a doo wop styled love song written to a lovecraftian horror. And yes this is all very Quirky™ but Cicierega never wink at the camera, he never lets on that this is a joke. Just like unironically here's a song about sexualizing (even if he insists it isn't sexual) eating mummies. Why not? The frenetic pacing always keeps you off balance too so there is no way to get used to the weirdness other than to let yourself be subsumed by it.
"But wait!" I hear you saying "what was that thing about conservatism? What does that have to do with the occult?" I'm glad you asked because I think the funniest thing this album does is deliver three songs in a row that have nothing to do with the rest of the album's main themes. As Your Father I Expressly Forbid It, I Earned My Life, and Reaganomics all satirize American boomer conservatism. I think putting them there after all the conspiracy theory stuff is brilliant. The paranoid, surreal attitudes of the first half of the album contrasted against the equally paranoid and surreal attitudes of conservatives. Finally I just want to mention my number one favorite thing about this album and it's that I Earned My Life is written in the style of Paul Simon's Graceland. That makes me laugh. What an effortless takedown of a legendary artist and album.
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Ween - The Mollusk
Ween are a pretty weird band. And my standards for what counts as weird are pretty high. So the fact that their least weird album is this nautically themed psychedelic hellscape isn't saying much. The Mollusk sounds how low tide smells. The album is like the rhyme of the ancient mariner but the albatross is replaced by hundreds of barnacles. It is a decaying mess, but it's also jaunty and fun. Purely stupid nonsense like Waving My Dick In The Wind and Dancing In The Show Tonight are placed side by side with the intense and horror tinged Golden Eel and Mutilated Lips.
Musically Ween are uncharacteristically cohesive. Sure they run the gamut of genres from intense proggy numbers to punk and alternative rock and some showtunesy stuff, but it's all mastered as wet as possible. By the way y'all know when I say a sound is wet I mean heavily processed as opposed to dry which is raw unprocessed audio right? There is copious reverb, chorus and especially phasing on every song until they all sound like waves crashing against a rock.
Perhaps the weirdest thing about The Mollusk is that it is, I think at least, the only Ween album to contain a straight cover. Cold Blows The Wind is just a folk song that Gener and Deaner just play dead straight. That is very unusual for a band that prefers to vaguely mock artists or styles rather than just do them. Of course that track is immediately followed by a song called Pink Eye On My Leg so don't take these guys seriously for too long.
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Atom And His Package - A Society Of People Named Elihu
There is no other album that feels more like an inside joke among high schoolers that you aren't privy to the context for. Adam Goren repeatedly name drops his friends and talks about things very specific to his life. The album is a mess of unfettered id where no concept is dwelt on for very long and no hesitation is given before launching into something completely unrelated. The very first track contemplates a hypothetical Punk Rock Academy before losing track of itself and barreling full throttle into an interpolation of Eddie Money's Take Me Home Tonight. This kind of thing happens a lot. Me And My Black Metal friends interpolated Dexys Midnight Runners' hit Come On Eileen for no apparent reason other than that is what started going through Goren's head at the time. This album has three different birthday songs on it, the first of which has the refrain "Happy Birthday Ralph, I love you, even though you are fucking disgusting." Who is Ralph? You aren't asking the right questions.
Oh yeah and this album is entirely just a guy singing over a drum machine and keyboard. But it's also kind of a punk rock album. Atom And His Package don't sound super punk at first glance, but he has the ethos. And structurally, well there's a little more punk rock in here than you might expect. I'll stand by A Society Of People Named Elihu as a punk rock album because it's funny and I think that is what Adam Goren would want.
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TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain
There's a lot of art rock out there that I'm totally in love with. But TV On The Radio are on a different level. They are extremely catchy, but also different than anything else around them. They exist somewhere in between 00s post punk revival and, uh honestly I don't know. I thought something would come to me as I was typing this. There is nothing to compare the unique use of drums and percussion to create both rhythmic and textural elements while the bass guitar makes up the majority of the melody. The members of the band all harmonize beautifully on vocals and when you break the songs down you find just a few instruments being layered into a looping, spiraling current of sound. A Method and Dirtywhirl especially sound like they are physically spiralling. They use looped percussion and bass, repetitive singsong vocals, and thrumming rhythms to create a completely unique sonic landscape that is both overwhelming and extremely addictive. It is too easy for me to finish this album and then put it back on again because there is nothing else that scratches the itch this album gives me.
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Between The Buried And Me - Colors
I don't usually like to be this absolute, but Colors is my favorite metal album. Between The Buried And Me are consistently amazing but Colors is the best showcase of their range and fluidity with which they traverse various styles. At a base level Colors is a progressive metalcore album, a genre which has probably just turned a few people off of listening. But if you aren't usually into metalcore don't fear there is a lot more going on here than bad screaming and bad chugging. No BTBAM weave together intense thrash like riffing, high speed guitar solos, intense screaming, melodic jazzy solos, chromatic breakdowns, catchy clean vocal segments and frequent tempo changes with an artistry and ease that makes it hard to notice when the style does an abrupt change. Every linking segment is so natural that the tech death screams in Sun Of Nothing will transition to the melodic refrain without any sense of tonal dissonance. Even when you hit the end of Ants Of The Sky and hear them go into a full bluegrass hoedown it is just completely natural. No other album makes 10+ minute songs go by so fast. There are so many hour long metal albums out there that drag on for the sake of length alone and Colors just shits in their faces and proves that you can go on for an hour and keep an audience completely engaged the whole time.
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They Might Be Giants - Lincoln
They Might Be Giants are a never ending supply of witty turns of phrase. Some are seemingly nonsequiturs like "tour the world in a heavy metal band / but they run out of gas the plane can never land" others are clever "which one of us is the one we can't trust / you say that I think it's you but I don't agree with that" and others seem like nonsense but probably mean something deeper if you just stop and think about it "how sleepless is the egg knowing that which throws the stone foresees the bone, the bone, our only home is bone". They will get at some wild themes lyrically while still maintaining an upbeat sound. That weird tonal gap is what makes songs like I've Got A Match and They'll Need A Crane into more than just songs about bad relationships. It helps obfuscate the actually bleakness of Lie Still Little Bottle, a song about being addicted to uppers. And it leaves you wondering about the seemingly pure goofy songs like Shoehorn With Teeth and Cowtown. Also you might be interested to know that Where Your Eyes Don't Go is a favorite song of local Tumblr Celebrity™ Neil Gaiman. So there's your seal of approval if you needed one.
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Macintosh Plus - Floral Shoppe
Vaporwave is such a beautiful genre. It is a musical consomme where other songs are melted down until there is nothing left but the essence of the original piece. A distinctly recognizable flavor, but rendered into broth. The idea of taking a song and picking out very specific bits and then slowing them down repeating them over and over until you have turned the ten second sample into a five minute song is incredible.
Floral Shoppe is not the first, and maybe not even the best vaporwave record, but it is the blueprint that a lot of artists would seek to imitate. The track リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー (Lisa Frank 420 / modern computing) made some waves for having a very overt and recognizable sample and leading to people joking that the genre was just "Diana Ross slowed down". And derogatory as that sounds it is also true. The song is seven minutes of just the chorus of Diana Ross' It's Your Move looped, slowed down, and otherwise abused until it just isn't the same song anymore. What Floral Shoppe did was bring the idea of the transformative property of context to a wider audience. The question of authorship is essential to vaporwave. Most vaporwave artists will use one off monikers for albums. In fact Macintosh Plus is a one off project under the larger Vektroid umbrella. Vektroid herself is one of the most prolific and significant vaporwave artists out there and honestly I don't even think Floral Shoppe is her best work, but it is the most important.
But is it good? That's the real question. The philosophical implications of art are nice and all but is it good to listen to? Yeah it's extremely enjoyable. Listening to Floral Shoppe is like living in a slightly fucked up betamac tape that is playing commercials for new shopping malls. It captures a sense of nostalgia, but also warps it into a surreal dreamscape. Parts stutter, they loop just before the part of the song you know plays, they are repeated over and over until you feel like something is wrong. The nostalgia is recontextualized as something artificial. Like it is reminding you that the way you feel about the past is manufactured. Your memories are already corrupted by capitalism and if you could see through the matrix you would hear the broken mechanisms underneath.
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The Field - From Here We Go Sublime
The Field is hard to pin down. While basically a tech-house project it is also quite a bit unlike other tech-house/minimal/ambient techno projects. I was enthralled the first time I ever put on this record. There's something ethereal about the heavily altered vocal samples. Every sound rendered distant and breathy. This is the sound of the sun glaring off of fresh snow in the winter. This is the sound that plays when you transcend your human body to become a being of pure energy. If the obelisk from 2001 A Space Odyssey was a DJ this is what it would play. It is impossible to not feel subsumed by this music, to want to just close your eyes and imagine you are floating. From Here We Go Sublime is one of the prettiest albums I have ever heard and I think even people who aren't into techno might be able to appreciate it.
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The Streets - A Grand Don't Come For Free
Look me in the eye. I'm serious look at me. Mike Skinner is a good rapper. No I'm not joking. No I don't like this album "ironically". A Grand Don't Come For Free is one of my top ten hip hop albums of all time. Right up there with Nas and J-Dilla and Kanye and shit. Skinner's flow is unconventional and, at first glance, very bad. But what he is doing is incorporating a very casual conversational style into his rapping to help communicate the personalities and moods of the characters in the story.
Oh yeah by the way this is a concept album. It's about Mike, his two friends Dan and Scott, and his new girlfriend Simone. Mike loses 1000 pounds, gets really paranoid that one of his friends stole it, and then let's that paranoia ruin all of his interpersonal relationships. The album starts by setting up the list money and various aspects of Mike's life like his new romance and gambling addiction to set up the very everyman vibes. As Mike rambles through awkward small talk, bad decisions, bad relationships, and the slow burn out of his empathy he becomes actually really relatable. Every time Mike does something that is frustrating and stupid it just kinda endears him to me. I want to see this idiot do better. Even on Get Out Of My House where he is trying to explain to Simone that he wasn't at her place while she was hungover because he was picking up his epilepsy medication and is, by any reasonable account in the right, he sucks so hard at making his point that he still comes off as the asshole. This is punctuated by guest rapper C-Mone actually rapping much better than Mike on her verses. In fact how well a character is rapping is very much tied to how confident they are at the moment with Mike being more noticeably on beat on Not Addicted and Such A Twat and sounding really off on Get Out Of My House and It Was Supposed To Be So Easy.
The beats are not just straightforward things for Skinner to rap weird style over though. The beats often contain weird syncopation and odd rhythms that make it feel like rather than not being able to stay on beat the vocals and the beat are just circling around each other. Always in sync but never knowing each other's exact location. The way these two elements come together creates the backbone for A Grand Don't Come For Free's atmosphere of disorientation and lack of control. Mike's story is ultimately about him trying to latch onto any part of his life that he thinks he can control and constantly having those things slip away from him. He finds the £1000 in the back of his broken TV by the way.
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The Mountain Goats - Beat The Champ
I got into The Mountain Goats way back when Moral Orel was airing it's infamous third season back in 08. I listened to John Darnielle's entire discography even the very rough first couple of tapes. And after all that I was pretty sure that this was my new favorite band and that no album anyone released were ever gonna top All Hail West Texas, Tallahassee, or The Sunset Tree. Fast forward seven years and I see he's working on a new album. It's gonna be about wrestling. I figure it will be pretty good, because Mountain Goats albums basically bottom out at pretty good. So the album releases, I listen to it, and instantly I know that I have forever been changed. I don't know how many times one man can keep doing this to me, but by God was I changed. I'm kinda into wrestling now as a direct result of this album.
The beauty of Darnielle's writing is that he can tease the meaning out of literally anything. Mountain Goats song don't have grand concepts. Beat The Champ's songs can be summed up easily. "Retired wrestler drives to the next show" "a biography of a wrestler that Darnielle liked as a kid" "a biography of a different wrestler that Darnielle liked as a kid" "a guy who takes his gimmick too seriously". But this isn't what the songs are about. They are about feeling tired of routine and being resigned to the fact that this will be the rest of your life. They are about how the world looks through the eyes of a child. They are about finding fulfillment in life even once you have passed your prime. They are about shutting out your emotions until you become a toxic person. These songs aren't about wrestling, but also they are. Beat The Champ made me think about how difficult pro wrestling is. You need a hyperapecific skill set that includes acting, athletics, acrobatic, and improv. And then if you are the absolute best at all those things hing and end up being the best wrestler ever? Well no one really respects pro wrestling so you get fuck all for it. The strange place these people occupy and the emotions that come with it are the perfect vessel for analyzing human experience at large. Wrestling, John Darnielle posits, is a microcosm for all life. We all play parts, we do heel turns now and then, we all fear being unmasked. Wrestlers deal with literal manifestations of human fear and Beat The Champ taps into that to create an album that both comments on human anxieties in a very real way and to humanize the people behind the kayfabe.
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RRRAAAHHHH, IL P!NOAH SM‼️‼️‼️‼️ Anyways, I’m wondering..
What happens during the earlier episodes, like Jamaica, Yukon, and even Egypt? 
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PLEASE TELL US WHAT HAPPENS, PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
I think I've already delved into this somewhat, but for the most part the Psycho!Noah AU is canon-compliant (until the point of divergence). So a lot of the plotlines and such that happen throughout Island, Action and World Tour remain unchanged.
There is one key difference, though, in the fact that Noah's regularly toying with the show's audience. So in a lot of the challenges he'll do something absolutely batshit insane in the background- but he's quiet enough to not be noticed by his fellow castmates (save Izzy, or occasionally Owen) because his persona of a 'stoic, bookish nerd' is intentionally uninteresting and unthreatening enough for people to gloss him over.
For example, whilst canon Noah shows visible concern for Ezekiel in the World Tour intro, p!Noah watches him fall and grins, baring fanged amusement directly towards the camera.
Or, in the Yukon episode, when Noah hugs and is immediately rebuffed by Bridgette, he shoots the nearest camera a downright dangerous look- something both eerily blank and drowning in animosity- before motioning to lunge at Bridgette. Of course, Owen's quick to scoop up his little buddy into a heat preserving hug, so Noah's feigned attack doesn't work out, but the threat is there.
He later on clarifies in the confessional that he despises rude people; manners cost nothing, but rudeness might just cost someone their kidneys.
Or in Egypt, when he's left alone with just Izzy and Owen? Your boy plays dress up with his besties. He and Izzy wrap Owen up in the bandages (instead of Izzy herself being the one to 'mummify' herself) which Owen lets happen because he's kind of terrified of his girlfriend and his best friend just that good of a pal. They try to convince Owen to backtrack through the pyramid and scare the others who decided to 'go under', by pretending to be an actual mummy, but Izzy ends up getting too excited by the prospect and running ahead without them.
Instead, Noah and Owen stumble their way through to the other end of the pyramid, encountering mummy Ezekiel on the way. Owen gets spooked by the prospect of a real mummy, but Noah's not scared in the slightest* and even offers to fight it off- to protect Owen, of course. No other reason. (Fighting an actual mummy isn't exactly out there for a show as whacky as Total Drama, and Noah is always ready to throw hands with assumed adversaries.)
Owen, in his fear, runs away before Noah can 'defend his honour', leaving the crazy nerd to trail along in disappointment. Things continue as per canon from there.
(The Egypt change is a little sillier than the others, because p!Noah is primarily concerned with his own entertainment- that's his Top Priority- and he's more interested in playing a fun little prank on the rest of the cast with Izzy than he is using the solitude of the pyramid to torment the audience.)
Then there's smaller changes throughout the other episodes:
In Jamaica Noah's visibly ecstatic when DJ gets hurt on his third run of the course, and the audience can clearly see him holding back laughter when Gwen gets attacked by the electric eels during the diving challenge. He also actually participates in the first challenge, though he fails to uproot any 'treasures'.
In Paris, Noah forgoes the ball-throw trick (though it would've been a backup had his first option failed) by instead growling at the Sasquatch, intimidating it into leaving their team alone. He still dodges the lasers during "Oui, My Friends" and messes up their team's statue, but instead of just giving it extra limbs Noah somehow manages to Frankenstein his creation into something almost eldritch- before Alejandro fixes it.
In Japan, he initially tries to volunteer for the pinball challenge, citing his status as A Gamer as reason for his sudden interest (though it's really because Noah's just as much of a thrill-seeker as Izzy), but the honour goes to Alejandro because the baby panda seems to be inexplicably afraid of Noah. Their commercial has an odd grainy quality to it whenever he speaks in it, and his empty eyes never trail from the camera's lens, but no one on the cast notices.
In New York, he saves his team from an untimely demise by shooting his most deranged smile towards the alligator, though his team are fully unaware of this. Luckily the liability waver Chef had it sign negates Noah from any obligation to reimburse the reptile for the emotional/mental damages. He's still The Baby in the second challenge, that remains unchanged.
In London, he's a lot less abrasive towards his team during the clue hunt. He's also the one who ends up stripping the guard, because he gets bored of him and Owen repeatedly tying in rock-paper-scissors and Tyler's staunchly against it- Noah likes to think of himself as a Polite Young Man, all things considered, so he wasn't gonna make his teammates do something they didn't want to- and they find their first clue faster than in canon. That temporal lead is quickly squandered by Owen slowing down their team in his effort to get Noah to laugh at his jokes. The "eel" comment never happens as, after Tyler volunteers himself for the rack, Noah wastes no time abusing the opportunity to torture someone. Tyler's far too preoccupied to recognise the manic laughter that echoes through the dingy room as Noah's sadistic enjoyment, and Owen is just glad his little buddy is having fun (even if he wasn't the one to make him laugh).
As for earlier seasons... I haven't really thought that far back yet. A lot of the changes listed above were made up off the top of my head, too, so... 😳
But it'd be in the same vein as the differences here; Noah does small concerning things in the background of shots that don't really effect how the rest of the episodes play out, but are just enough for the greater audience to notice and sweat over.
I imagine, in-universe, there's probably compilation clips of "Noah Going Feral In The Background" or "Top 10 Moments Where Total Drama Contestants Almost Fell Prey To Noah", which he and his friends would watch post-season during their sleepovers to laugh at. Thankfully, their fellow cast members are kind of out of touch with the fanbase- save for Sierra, but she's already been discussed.
*I was gonna clarify why p!Noah isn't scared here when canon Noah is, but this posts already kind of long and the explanation is very wordy & science-heavy so... maybe in another 'lore' drop?
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caffiend-queen · 12 days
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Do NOT Say 'Always After My Lucky Charms,' Or I Will Stab You
Welcome to another addition to the Holidays in Hel series! Where Loki and Mina attempt to save the Avengers from yet another catastrophic holiday fuckup.
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I've been cleaning up and adding bits to my Holidays in Hel series because really, it's my favorite. I hope you enjoy, and thank you as always for reading!
Chapter Two: "Why Do I Always Smell Like Something Dead That Washed Up On The Beach?"
In which Mina discovers that the Fair Folk are not only not Fair, they're kind of assholes, and it's looking like another holiday shot straight to Hel.
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Mina...
“Wh- where the hell am I?”
You were in the middle of a miraculous forest clearing with brightly colored birds swooping gracefully and gnarled tree trunks that looked ready to come alive and scold you. The sky was a vaguely eerie lavender and a single, wistful pipe was sending out a delicate tune on the wind. You could just see the sparkling sapphire and golden tints of a wide river meandering through the woods. Anxiously checking, you heaved a sigh of relief to see you were still in your sweater and tartan kilt. And, you were resting on a bed … uh … couch… “Is this like a throne?” you mumbled, “Because there’s that one spiky part that looks like it’s got a crown carved into it, but there’s blankets and… why does this shit happen to me?” The couch/bed/throne whatever you were sitting on was remarkably comfortable and rose grandly above the clearing. “So was I roofied? Loki’s the one who bought the drinks, so… Poofed? Is there someone aside from Loki who can poof people in and out of bars? Ugh. I’m beginning to feel like John McClane in Die Hard, why is it always us?”
One of the tiny, jeweled butterflies ventured closer to you and made an inquiring sort of sound. Admiring its iridescent patterns, you crooned, “Hello, you little sweetie. Don’t suppose you could show me where the exit is, huh?” The glittering creature landed lightly on your upturned hand, and two eyes popped open above the concealing swirls on its thorax. You jumped a little, “Oh! Hey, look at you! I don’t suppose you talk?” There was another delightful, high trill from the butterfly, and then a shocking amount of pain as it chomped down on the sensitive webbing between your thumb and forefinger. 
“OW! You little shit!” You shook your hand furiously but the butterfly had surprisingly sharp teeth and stubbornly hung on until you smacked it sharply on the head with your index finger. “Bad! Bad butterfly!” With a spiteful chitter, the creature fluttered away.
“Babe! You’re up!” Two arms wrapped around you like a particularly stubborn strain of ivy, a hand heading straight for your breasts.
And suddenly you were fighting off the long-limbed advances of a very handsome man.
An extremely gorgeous man with pointed ears.
“Hands off, pal! Who the Hel are you?”
He chuckled indulgently, leering at you - shit, were his eyes silver? - and took a swig of something out of the golden cup with one hand while gripping you around the waist with the other. You managed to eel free from his grip - mainly because you knew his attention was on his cocktail. Stumbling back, you took a wild look around before focusing again on him.
He was beautiful. Beautiful in the perfect, unearthly way that Loki was. Likely as tall and perfectly muscled with long, flowing golden hair and pointed ears.
Pointed. Fucking. Ears.
“Aw, damn it. You’re one of the Fae, aren’t you?” Loki had warned you about those guys.
The elf smiled again, full red lips and so alluring as his lids dropped to half-mast, looking you over thoroughly. "You are so hot. Babe, we are gonna PARTY," he paused, leaning in to whisper in your ear, “and then I'm gonna find your pot o' gold.“ He chortled loudly and for a minute, he reminded you of your ex-boyfriend Ted, president of his fraternity and notorious for the high alcohol poisoning rate on campus.
“I beg your pardon?” you gasped, “Look, I don’t care who you are- just send me back, and- wait, where’s Monty? You didn’t hurt the poor guy, did you?”
He began laughing magnificently, really, no other word would do, his head thrown back and mouth open to show his sharp, white teeth. “I am that shriveled-up old dude. I’m Monty with just a touch of glamour to make me ordinary. Now look at the real me! What a step up in your love life, huh?”
You glanced over your shoulder - was there an exit around here? A portal? A Greyhound bus? “This cannot be happening,” you groaned. “Yeah, uh… your name’s not really Monty, what is it?”
Taking another gulp of mead, or whatever the Hel the Fae drank these days, and giving an extremely rude belch, your supermodel fairy kidnapper offered, "Aengus. Prince of the Tuatha Dé Danan." He winked at you over the goblet he was drinking from, "And your fairy for Youth, Love, and Summer. I know you're honored, 'cause you are my chosen lady-babe."
“Angus?” you attempted.
“No, babe. Just- it’s Ah-hen-gess.” He put his long fingers on your jaw.
“Uh, Ah-hingus?” you tried again.
“Draw it out, gorgeous, just elongate your jaw like a snake and say, “Ah-he- Look, never mind, babe. Here,” he thrust a goblet (chalice? flagon?) into your hand and you sniffed at it. “Uisce beatha. The good stuff. It’s the second most delicious thing to come out of Ireland.” The smarmy bastard had the nerve to look pointedly down at his junk as he said this.
“M’lord, the other humans are totally bitching about getting stuck in the tree castle. You want me to knock ‘em out?” Another spectacularly good-looking elf with the body of a Ken doll and the expression of a village simpleton interrupted your little interlude.
“You- wait, there’s other humans here?” You froze in your efforts to bat away the wandering hands of Aengus and frowned at him. “How many people did you kidnap?”
Glaring at his tattle-tale elf buddy, your captor tried to smooth it over. “Babe, don’t worry about them. Let’s chill, take some clothes off, drink a brew or two…” he leaned forward, his beautiful face wearing a dashing grin. “You show me yours, I’ll show you mine. It’s…” he giggled, “magically delicious!”
“Really? Oh, my god, just- geddoff me! I mean it! You do not want the Hel that is about to rain down on you in the form of my boyfriend Loki!”
Both elves stopped dead and stared at you. Aengus even put his flagon of uisce beatha down. “Did you say… Loki?” he asked hoarsely.
You rarely invoked the Name of Loki. You preferred to handle your own problems. You didn’t expect or even want Loki to get involved in all the petty details of your life because he had a tendency to attempt to take them all over in order to “assist” you. But if it freaked out these douchey Irish Fae then you were going to wield Loki’s reputation like a blunt instrument.
So… “Yes!” you hissed threateningly, “You’ve interrupted a very important night for us and Loki, Prince of Asgard, rightful King of Jotunheim and God of Mischief and Lies does NOT like to be disappointed!” 
You were pissed. You didn’t get your traditional corned beef and cabbage dinner. You did not get lucky with Loki - wait, that sounded like a dating show - but this was really the worst kind of bullshit! You may have been shy when Loki first plucked you off Madison Avenue (literally) but time and a series of disastrous holiday fuckups had definitely helped you find your voice. And your temper. You leaned forward, staring into his startled silver eyes. “And of course, you probably know Loki best as the most terrifying of the ten things that invaded Ireland. Remember the Vikings? I’ll bet you do, Angus!”
“Aengus,” he correctly absently before looking at the other freaked-out fairy. “Get the other babes, I don’t care if they’re hot, this is turning into a total buzzkill, man.”
Your eyes widened, Shit, did I just get us all killed by invoking the name of Loki? 
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Loki...
“Why does this always happen to us?”
It could have been any one of the Avengers whining, and really, Loki had to agree it was a reasonable question. It had been repeated over and over, on every holiday since Stark had first insisted he attend the billionaire’s ridiculous Yule festivities.
“We are cursed,” Thor said, slumped over Mjölnir, which he had been swinging around in an extremely unsafe fashion as he shouted about “Betrayal!” and “Vengeance!” until he’d nearly caved in the skull of one of the terrified bartenders and had been threatened by Tony. 
“I will shave you bald. Point Break, if you don’t put that stumpy piece of shit down! You remember that doorman you put into a coma? Do you? That was Happy’s second cousin’s kid!” 
Trying to ignore them all, Loki was walking through the deeply uncomfortable patrons of the Dead Rabbit, which had been locked down the moment they discovered their dates had been - yet again - abducted. Bucky was following close enough to have scuffed his exquisite Bolvaint onyx dress shoes, but, well, there was more important business at hand. Also, anyone willing to attempt to get testy about being detained was instantly quelled by Bucky’s glare. 
Leaning in close to Loki, he murmured, “What are we looking for?”
Lips barely moving, he answered, “Our women were taken through some portal with that vile troll Monty,” Loki sneered, “so I am attempting to discover this portal. But upon occasion, a creature of supernatural origin might also act as the portal. So no one shall leave until -” His sharp eyes just barely caught a tuft of hair moving stealthily along the mahogany bar, and he vaulted over the shining expanse and seized the tuft of hair and the body attached to it.
“Saor mé nó bás!” The diminutive man was kicking at Loki fiercely, though his legs were too short to make contact.
Holding him up to eye level, he snarled back, “Phooka, I should have known. You must be mad to attempt Maidentheft here!”
“Wait?” Steve poked his head over the bar. “Maidens? Theft? Is this some human trafficking ring?”
“Of a sort,” Loki said, not taking his gaze from the writhing Phooka. “The Fae enjoy stealing mortal brides upon occasion. But the victim must agree to dance with them first before they can be pulled through the portal.” He gave the flailing creature a brisk shake that nearly took his tufted red head from his body. “You are the portal, goblin! Where have you sent them!”
Steve just couldn’t help himself. “Don’t you mean Leprechaun? Or is that rude? Little person? Or-”
“Call him what you want, Capsicle,” barked Tony, “but he’s snatched the girls and we need them back! Pepper’s never going to let me forget this, so let Loki do his mystical mojo shit before she has me sleeping out on the balcony for the next year!”
“Ní inseoidh mé go deo! Lig saor mé!” The glamour was wearing off Phooka and his limbs were lengthening, hair turning long and silver-blond. But then the image shimmered and he returned to the gnarled little creature he’d been before. 
“Oh, no, Cluricaun, I will not release you. In fact,” Loki’s arm raised higher, easily holding the struggling creature at eye level, “I shall bind you into this form forever.”
“Nil! Nil!” he screeched, thrashing like a trout on the hook.
“Oh, yes…” purred Loki, an unholy look of joy gleaming in his eyes, “no longer of the Fair Folk, the beautiful creature who bespells all who see him. You shall be in this lumpy, repugnant form forever. Warts covering every inch of you. Oozing pus.” Phooka shrieked and kicked, fruitlessly waving his stubby arms as Loki’s grip remained steady. 
Bucky pulled an alarmingly large KA-BAR USMC Utility knife from… somewhere. The dim light of the bar glinted off of it as he pointed it at the troll that kidnapped his Darcy. “Let me soften him up for you, huh?” Everyone crowding around them backed up three steps.
“No need, my friend. Is there, Imp?"
Looking angrily between them, the creature slumped in Loki’s grasp. Expertly spinning his knife between his fingers, Bucky looked at the rest of the Avengers. “Armor up. Let’s go get our women.”
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Mina...
“No hard feelings, huh?” Aengus was examining his perfectly shaped fingernails and flicked off a bit of a fish scale. “Your dudes should be here sometime, so… you know.”
“Wait, what?” You were waist-deep in fish guts. Pepper was sliding headfirst off a mountain of what looked like rotting seaweed and slime, and Jane and Darcy were trying to fend off the seagulls who were apparently assuming they were part of the fish offal and thus fair game. “No hard feelings? You kidnapped us, you dick! And now you’re leaving us… where the hell is this, anyway?”
There would be no further information forthcoming from Prince Asshole of the Fae, because Aengus and his fairy henchmen disappeared with a sparkly ‘pop!’
“What the hell just happened?” screeched Darcy, swiping at a seagull trying to get his beak into her hair. “Get off me, you flying barnacle!”
“I’m… I don’t know,” you admitted, trying to raise one foot out of the fish guts and losing a shoe. “Ugh! This is so nasty! But I think I freaked him out by telling him we know Loki and this was really going to piss him off.”
Pepper was gagging as she slid sideways in the disintegrating fish intestines, her immaculate white suit now an unspeakable Rorschach test of nausea. “How long before your boyfriend figures out where we are, Mina?”
“Loki’s not some kind of a magical bloodhound,” you groaned, “I dunno. Did these idiots try to hide us, or is this like just dumping us off on the side of the highway like a carjacker leaving you to die?" Looking around as you struggled to free yourself from the decaying remains of what had to be half the sea life in the Atlantic Ocean, you were getting concerned that this was option number two.
There was no sign of life around you. 
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“Now what?” sulked Hedley Kow, who’d really been looking forward to scoring on this night, of all nights! The Fair Folk were all hot, but man, there was something about bagging a human chick… there was nothing like it. Unfortunately, he’d attempted to woo Natasha, so he was currently sporting two black eyes and a broken arm.
Sighing elaborately, Aengus glared at him. “Ring up the Aos sí. You know there are some serious babes there, especially the Pinkets. Tell ‘em we got barrels of Uisce beatha and a live band. Those chicks will be topless by midnight!”
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Loki...
When their feet hit the ground of wherever they’d been portal’ed to, the Avengers were ready. Armed, teeth gnashing, weapons bristling, and ready to bring down the entire Leprechaun Kingdom to avenge their abducted comrades. But there was no one to admire their ferocious presentation, aside from a couple of listless seagulls pecking at the bloated carcass of what was possibly a seal.
“Are you sure we’re at the right place?” Steve said doubtfully, “I just figured the Fairies would have a… fancier setup?”
“We are in the correct place,” snarled Loki, “but not in the kingdom of the Fair Folk. They have discarded the women in this benighted place.”
Tony was levitating in his suit, thrusters firing randomly as he turned in one direction, and then the other, trying to spot Pepper and the others. Loki could feel a searing headache creeping up his spine as he had to put out the small fire Tony’s suit had created on a dilapidated shed before he set this malodorous fishing slum ablaze. 
“Hey…” Bucky put down his AK-47. “I think I know where we are. This is Port. It’s an abandoned village on this tiny island off the coast of Ireland. Donegal. In World War Two, we were doing reconnaissance on the Nazis…” His ocean eyes went blank for a minute before he seemed to reboot again. “It’s supposed to be haunted. It smelled like fish guts and mildew. That part’s just the way I remember it.”
Spreading his long, pale fingers, Loki created a sizzling rope of green fire. He whispered to it, twirled it in an endless loop between his hands, and then flung it free, like a bird set loose from its cage and it soared toward the sea. “They are here,” he said, “but hidden. The Fae are spiteful, even in defeat.”
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“Hey, what’s that?” Darcy was pointing a fingernail with chipped red polish at the sky.
Sliding free from the pile of fish offal, Jane still managed to slip and fall into a particularly rotted, gelatinous mass. “Damnit!” she howled, Just So Done With This.
Putting a hand over her eyes and trying to shield them from the salt-laced wind, Mina squinted. “That’s…” she knew that signature, the coils of green flame twisting elegantly as it circled around them. “That’s from Loki.” She gave an excited little jump and slipped too, ending up on her ass with a “splat!’ in a decaying barrel of… of course, fish guts. “Ugh! But that means they’re here. They’re looking for us! HEY!” Mina shouted, jumping up and down, waving her filthy arms, “Here! We’re over here!”
Within an instant, the tall, beautiful form of her lover, her god, her Loki stood before her, cradling her face in his cool hands. “And here you are, lovely.” He bent to kiss her but Mina backed away. 
“Don’t! I love you and I’m so glad you found us but don’t touch me! You’ll have to burn that suit and you know I love the Tom Ford jackets on you!” Loki’s elegant nose was wrinkling, despite his best efforts and she sighed. “Why is it that I always smell like something dead that washed up on the beach whenever you rescue me?”
“Ah,” he raised one finger, gently tapping her nose. “I did not rescue you on this particular disastrous holiday. The Fae set you free.” She shivered, looking doubtfully around the filthy pier and Loki chuckled, pulling off his jacket and helping her into it, mourning briefly. It really was one of his favorites… ah, well. “How could this happen? We were prepared for battle.”
“It was genius,” Jane said approvingly, “Mina terrified them into releasing us.”
“How?” asked Thor, clumsily petting her hair and snarling it into dreadlocks with a hint of decomposing marine life lacquer. 
“She evoked the name of Loki” Darcy interrupted, as she always did. “She scared the shit out of the head fairy guy. Man, were those assholes a letdown! I thought fairies were supposed to be so magical and mysterious? They were like frat guys! Even stupider than frat guys, which I did not know was possible.”
Loki raised one elegant black brow. “Really, my clever girl? What did you say that so discouraged them? The group of you are an extremely desirable prize to the Fae.” The women simultaneously looked at themselves and shuddered as one. “Well, not at this moment,” he allowed, “but you are delectable.”
Mina allowed herself the smallest smirk, the tiniest bit of gloating. “I told that dickhead Aengus that surely he remembered that of the ten most terrifying things that invaded Ireland, you were the worst.”
“I was there also!” protested Thor, who’d given up on trying to soothe Jane and was attempting to wipe off the gelatinous fish residue from his hands. “I was very terrifying! The Fae must sing songs of my power in battle-”
“Yes, yes brother,” Loki interrupted, emerald eyes narrowed, “did you say Aengus?”
Mina nodded vigorously. “Yeah, that shut down his sleazy seduction scene in a hurry. You should have seen-”
His elegant hands waved furiously in the air, and they all disappeared from the dilapidated remains of Port with a loud “Pop!” that scared the seagulls.
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The stink from the group was so appalling by the time Loki had “poofed” them back into the Tower that F.R.I.D.A.Y. politely informed them that, “I have taken the liberty of opening the gym showers for your group, and there will be a cart to take your clothes to the incinerator.”
Watching something that might have been a fish eyeball fall out of her hair and swirl down the shower drain, Mina smiled a little to see even Natasha, who had somehow remained untouched gratefully lean into the warm water. “Everyone okay?”
“You know that when the tower’s AI refuses to let you on the residential floors without a decontamination that you smell really, really bad,” sighed Pepper, shampooing her hair for the third time.
But finally clean at last and dressed in warm, fresh clothes, Mina sighed with relief, falling into the firmly muscled arms of Loki. “Thank you for being historically terrifying, sweetheart.”
“But I was there, too!” protested Thor, still upset and looking vaguely ridiculous in borrowed sweats that barely reached his shins. “Did the sprite not mention me?”
“Uh…” Mina was trying to not actually inhale the corned beef and cabbage dinner, grabbing another scoop of creamy Colcannon before Bucky took it all. Tony was insistent that no one was heading off to bed without polishing off the Irish dinner his chefs prepared. “Try the mustard sauce, Loki,” she said, spooning some of the fragrant yellow sauce onto his corned beef. “So, I still don’t get this. Leprechauns are really just fairy guys who use it as a disguise to trick human women into like, dating them?”
Loki shrugged, elegantly slicing into his meal. “There are Leprechauns. But they care for nothing but their gold. Their interaction with mortals is minimal. But their appearance is one easily taken and the Deamhna Aerig can use it to walk among you. No sweet girl like you would turn down a dance from…” he sneered despite his attempts to remain calm, “such as Monty, now would you?”
His Mina’s chin went up, a bad sign. “I won’t ever be sorry for being kind to people.”
Sighing, he tried to backtrack. “I know, lovely. But this is also what these craven fools count on.”
Natasha was finishing off another two fingers of Redbreast 15-year whiskey. Slamming the glass back on the table, she said, “What matters now is what happens to this мудак! How do we teach them a lesson?”
Even knowing he was about to say something terrible, something probably rather evil, Mina still felt a tingle in her girl parts as Loki leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers as a slow, savage grin spread across his beautiful face. “мой друг, this is happening as we enjoy our dinner. Though,” he added graciously, knowing the Russian’s desire to handle her own ‘business,’ "I am happy to deliver the fool who assaulted you to a location of your choice for your own brand of justice.”
She just couldn’t help it, Natasha started laughing, this arrogant сволочь knew her so well. “I’m looking forward to seeing your Evil Genius. I assume you have a way for us to enjoy it?”
“Well,” Loki allowed modestly, “since you have requested it…”
It was as clear as some well-filmed high-definition film, but the scene the highly entertained Avengers were watching wasn’t fiction, though the sight of the ethereal forest of the Fae would seem so. But the vile, sweating mass of Leprechauns were anything but enchanting.
“No, ladies, just hold-” a giant fart ripped through the desperate attempt from Hedley Kow to salvage the evening. Two nymphs reared back, waving their pretty hands in front of their faces as they gagged. “I mean it, we’re just gonna switch back to our real forms and-”
“If thou could have, thou wouldst,” sneered one. “Come, sisters. It is time for the Aos si to take our leave.” Groans rippled through the forest as the silvery forms of the nymphs disappeared.
“What is happening, man?” screamed one of the Fae, pulling at his ratty red hair as he belched miserably, sending up a cloud of fumes so toxic it was almost visible. “This is on you, Aengus! No babes! We’re in Gnome Hel, man! It was Loki, huh? You pissed him off again and shit- I can’t stop farting!”
Their leader gagged, feeling another one of his monstrous pimples spurt pus onto a chest so hairy that he appeared to be wearing a sweater. “He’s just being a dick! I’ll fix it, y’know, when Loki cools down.” The sweating mass of hairy, pimpled, gaseous trolls moaned, a chorus of ear-splitting farts their only answer.
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Mina...
“How are you feeling, sweet girl?” That sly devil you were in love with, the god who’d rescued you yet again from a colossal holiday fuckup that was guaranteed in the company of the Avengers, was stroking your neck very softly and it was doing things to you. 
“Better, I guess,” you were trying to not melt into some needy, shameless puddle because you were standing just behind the rest, who were still enjoying the complete shit show that the Irish Fae had found themselves floundering through. “At least we got our corned beef and cabbage dinner.”
“Mmmm…” he breathed against your ear, the vibrations tingling up and down your spine. “And is that all my darling Mina wanted for her ancestral holiday?”
“Well,” you allowed, “I’d hoped for… you know. A special moment. No matter how godawful our holidays are, the sex afterward is always so…” you sighed mistily, “spectacular.”
His long arms tightened around your waist, and you felt that strange pull at the base of your spine that told you within an instant you would be somewhere else, swept away by this magical god, who for some reason loved you. The room disappeared, and you fell onto your bed, pillows flying in all directions, and in an instant, you were naked and Loki was thrusting into you. You yelped in shock. Usually, it was a production, a slow build as your delicious god toyed and cajoled you into being ready for him. 
But this!
You were ready, oh, god you were ready and you had no idea how it happened so fast.
“W- wait, one minute we’re watching the Asshole Fae Reality Show and now we’re- oh, GOD!” He’d given a particularly savage thrust and you just howled.
“I fear I cannot be patient tonight, cailín daor,” he groaned, “I have wanted to be inside you since I heard of your genius, your terrifying of the Fair Folk until they retreated from the field of battle.”
“Th- th- they dumped us in a pile of fish guts in a haunted village!” you managed, the mattress bouncing vigorously and your hands slipping over the slick skin on his back, trying to hold on. 
“Ah,” he chuckled breathlessly, a deeply arousing growl that made your thighs clench harder against his hips, “you were cunning, my love. You were outnumbered in combat against a well-armored - though profoundly stupid - foe, and you drove them before you like sheep. You used your wit, your cleverness and I have never,” he thrust hard again and your legs flew up, toes pointing to the ceiling as the silky tip of him pushed higher inside you than you knew was possible. “I have never,” he continued, “desired you more.” Loki was speaking with his mouth against yours, not kissing so much as taking in the breath of each other, his body iron-hard and driving fiercely through you, big hands groping your breasts greedily. “So tonight, mo shióg deas, I shall fuck you, as one warrior would another after combat.” Heaving up and back on his heels, he hauled you along with him, still connected as he bent you, back arched over his arm, his other hand pushing gently against your heaving stomach. “I can feel myself,” he panted, “here.” 
You let out a screech as he pressed harder. The feel of him inside and outside of you was unimaginable. It was wild and overwhelming and so fucking sexy and it was turning you into some kind of lunatic because you wrapped your arm around his shoulder and reared up, biting his neck with your sharp little teeth. Loki let out a low, harsh groan and you could swear his cock just doubled in size.
“Do it again.” His fingers gripped the back of your hair and pressed your face to his throat. “Again.”
Grinning, you did, biting into that luscious muscle just over his prominent collarbone and seizing a handful of his thick, silky hair as well.
Loki was always smooth, exquisite, and slick in his seductions. He was not one to lose control but you felt a savage sort of victory as his sinuous hips stuttered, pushing harder, sloppier into you. “Again,” he rasped.
Now both hands were in his hair, tilting his head sharply as you bit into the other side of his neck, and to your shock, your mouth filled with the lush taste of his cool blood as your cunt filled with the heat of his come.
Shivering against each other, Loki’s hands squeezing your ass and your still gripping thick handfuls of his hair, you were still, frozen tightly together. “Holy shit,” you wheezed, “I never… That so goes on our list of stuff to do to each other again!”
Loki began laughing, a huge, hearty laugh that so rarely came from him, an unguarded moment he rarely allowed and it was wonderful. Also, it was making his cock jolt inside your swollen girl parts and rubbing up against some really sensitive places. Wrapping your legs around his hips, you started giggling, too. “Happy St. Patrick’s Day, baby,” you managed, “now, that’s celebrating like a true Ireannach!”
“And to you, my love,” he managed, “and to you.”
Ireannach - Irishman mo shióg deas - my pretty fairy
Deamhna Aerig - air demon
Uisce beatha - from the genius misreall, it means "water of life," early whiskey and the rare thing that the Fae would be guzzling on a night like this.
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I'm starting over with a vague memory of who might like my Loki and Avengers tales. If you would like on or off this list, please let me know! Thank you. Mwah!
@what-is-your-plan-today
@sweater-daddiesdumbdork
@the-soulofdevil
@americasass81
@mdemontespan1667
@sultry-rachael
@myoxisbroken
@gigglingtiggerv2
@notpedeka
@narnianarcher
@sylviefromneptune
@winterslove1917
@kimanne723
@hawkeyes-queen
@grymrayven
@stevihj
@lizette50
@jevans2
@wolfsmom1
@devikafernando
@wegingerangelica
@nildespirandum
@alexakeyloveloki
@thebatshitcrazyfangirl
@thehumming6ird
@archy3001
@iheartsebastianstan
@tomstinkerbell
@wolfpawn
@rayofdawnworld
@thecutestlittlebunbunfairy
@dangertoozmanykids101
@alexakeyloveloki
@nuggsmum
@boredbrooder
@fairlightswiftly
@inkededucatednnerdy
@nonsensicalobsessions
@viv-annelore
@eleniblue
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kollector-of-stims · 9 months
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Yet another updated stim toy collection since I've gotten a good little bit of them recently! This time named and organized by groups under the cut!
🌈Stretchy stims:
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• scented stretchlerz
• sand-filled carrot and banana
• stretchy realistic banana
• monkey noodles
• stretchy textured caterpillars
🌈Various tactile stims:
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• boinks
• wacky tracks
• tangles
• fidget cubes/pads/dodecahedron
• fidget spinners
• textured suction cup strip
• magnetic rings
• infinity cube
• mini slinkies
• curly things
• bikechain fidget
• other various things I forgot the name of
🌈Various stim/stress balls:
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• orbeez-filled strawberry
• sensory fx elements
• "hydrated" and "dehydrated" dna balls
• nee doh popping ball
• nee doh squishy fruits
•glow-in-the-dark sticky squishy dinos
• pig and dino splat balls
• blue textured snow ball
• orbeez-filled lightbulb
• narwhal and berry cat sqweezie petz
• animal dumpling stress balls
🌈Pop-its:
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• Various shaped pop-its
• a pop-it pearl
• unicorn pop-it ball
• pop-it stick 'em pals cow
🌈Articulated stims:
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• Articulated slug, shark, eel, and unicorn
• mini articulated worm
• watchitude octo (articulated octopus)
🌈Squishies/soft things (not all of them but the ones I use the most):
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• Mallow Mallow cat and cow
• squishy tardigrade
• amazing squishee penguin
• squishy stress gear owl and pufferfish
• a cheap squishy ball from the dollar store (my first ever stim toy!)
🌈Textures:
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•big eye squish confetti balls
• silicone brush
• puffer stegosaurus
• mini koosh ball
• prickle balls
•small prickle hedgehog
🌈Auditory/ASMR stims:
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• sensory fx asmr crackle and squish eggs
• crunchy blankets from kittens vs gherkins
•sensory fx suction cup octopus
• pop tubes
• sensory fx asmr pods (exclusive carrying case pods)
• sensory fx bots
🌈Putties:
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•silly putty
•crazy Aaron's thinking putty (super scarab in the purple container)
🌈Visual stims:
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• tsunameez egg
• tsunameez baggies
• liquid motion bubbler
• sensory fx asmr bot
• sensory fx fidget stick
🌈Various stims in one:
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• fidgetz sushi
• squirkies
• sensory fx pods
🌈Weighted/etc stims/didn't know how to categorize:
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• weighted sand-filled lizards
• magic mixlings mini blind bag toys
• rainbow dash fashem
• squishy ball cat toy
• manta ray puzzle erasers
• starfish puzzle eraser
• kinder bike toy
• smooth pendant
• handmade swirly polymer clay pendant
• curly cat toy
• cats vs pickles & kittens vs gherkins plush(ies) (I have many more)
🌈Stims I forgot to add in the post because I always forget to include things but NOT THIS TIME:
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• sensory fx stick
• suction cup squeeze toy
• stretchy slug
• chicken mochi squishy
• mini fidgetz pop-it
• clip-on mini train pop-it
• piece of a sensory fx asmr fidget cube
• bubble stuffed squishy friends shark
• small squishy guinea pig toy
• balloon with rice inside it
🌟Feel free to ask about any stim toy you have questions about! Also if you want, let me know if you have any of these same things!!🌟
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My ebic gamer free business
DNI+Other things under the cut(at least read what's in red pls)
So yeah, I'm Socks and I'll rather be addressed as he/it/star+other neos, I'm also ok with most gendered therm but if you're not sure just calls me masculine ones. Use il/lui in french plz
Here's my full list of neos and other things
POC trans guy👍
I can only draw on the weekend so there is possibly you'll wait very long for your request to be drawn
Art request: open but only rain world and pokemon related cuz I feel like drawing em
I don't mind getting mentioned or dm-ed for anything, really
If you're my moot I WILL send u something stupid in your inbox at some point
I'm a huge vFlower fan
I love when people infodump and ramble in my inbox itz so interesting
Memory issues
Don't involve me in discourse I will explode
I have an nilfruits RP, askblog,pirate-ing ur faves, sona rp blog, zatsune rp, hagane RP, utsu-p dedicated, rain world x3 and where I reblog my favorite things side blogs they're @narou-official @ask-voca-mutant-au @yer-fave-is-a-pirate @socks-is-a-menace @zatsunemiku-official @haganemiku-official @weekly-utsu-p @gourmand-appreciation @valid-iterator-name @invenot and @the-spearmaster
I also have a SUPER MEGA GIGA SECRET pokemon irl blog, try finding it:)
Here I'll be putting hints for it: eel
I also have @the-artificer who just kinda exist
I can do a pretty good mosquito and toad impression
I have autism, adhd n bpd
I can time travel and break the space and time continum/j
I'm a minor don't be weird
Don't sexualise my art, ocs and designs
I like these thang->Warrior Cat(only there for the fan content n designs tbh), Mad rat dead, Kirby, the Stanley parable, murder drones, pafl, biblically accurate angels, sparklecats, Dead plate, Pokemon, Vocaloid, OFF, ENA, Ghost & Pals, Cuphead, pjsekai, Splatoon, bocchi the rock, cult of the lamb, sonic, rain world, and Omori(I don't support omocat), please talk to me about them (there will also be spoiler for all of these)
Also like Genshin impact and Castle cat but like, a lot less into it
You can use my art n designs as long as you credit but PLEASE don't give it to AI, repost it(unless credited and Fanart, don't repost my oc art whiteout permission) or use it in edits!!(the kind of edits where it's just a bunch of pictures in a video, using it as a icon with credit is fine for examples) Thank you
I threw a kinlist here at some point and just saying, I don't mind doubles that's not a problem
Tagging system:
#Paradichlorobenzene is my favorite word:text posts
#random/#rambling: text posts from 2022 to 2023
#socks is scribbling: art tag
#rb: reblog
#oc:[insert name]:the mentioned OC's tag
I also got two personas who are very cools
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Userbox by @sweetpeauserboxes
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DNI : post untagged nsfw things, Rainflower defenders, support AI art, queerphobics, racist, transfobes, zoophiles, irl yandere, proshipper, radfem, like hp or support it's creator, ableist, anti furries, exclusionist, transautistic, pedophiles, nazi, terfs and similar things
And that's it I think
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so, you're basically one of my favorite rarepair developers (or whatever one calls people that come up with rarepairs LOL) and i've been getting really into plas lately, so i absolutely have to ask- what are your thoughts on batplas? i know a lot of plas stans don't like it, but i see a lot of potential in it, even moreso when bits of their history is thrown in! (i admit, i'm soft for the non- main continuity canon fact that eel and matches were longtime associates/pals before patrick became plas.)
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so glad im one of your favorites rare-pair developers!!! come onto my pool noodle, we'll share bestie, no titanic angst here!! imo plasbat is so wildly underrated. And I like get why, there's been a lot of batfam saturation, and sometimes you just dont want to see the batfam butt into your fav comic character!!! but alas its somehow the only way they get attention! I digress... they're wilidly underrated and I would love to see them together on the same frame/comic regardless of romantic tones. I need more plas comics stat! I think Plas and Bats have the ability to have some amazing chemistry, which, is why its a travesty no one has drawn them on the same comic frame for quite some time or in anyyy main continuity in a more social/serious scenario. or even just chilling like on the same rooftop?? Bruce Wayne/The Batman is a very rich hero you think he can't drop by Mammoth City (is plas still in mammoth city??) to visit everyone's favorite stretchy man? he's the only stretchy man they know!! I acknowledge no one else but elastic lad Anyhow chemistry, how do so little people see this?? Batman who is always serious and has contingencies for everything, and Plas who has no contingencies and will probably combust if he tries to take things seriously. theyre the epitome of opposites attract??? It's not that plas doesn't care but he just automatically uses humor and making himself into a joke to cope with his life/relationships. The thought of Bruce being the Straight Man to Plas' punchline is everything!!! I like to think they have the same type of humor too, that Bruce Wayne's sense of humor is just a bit too niche and zany because of one too many traumatizing life experiences and somehow this is what fosters the first spark of their connection. No one else gets it, but they get it and it works. I am giggling into my hands sahdsah im also wacky over the non main continuity canon that Eel and Matches knew each other before Patrick became Plas. Do you think Matches was ever like, man it sucks that this criminal is so funny but he's a criminal and like kind of unrepentant about it? Snickering into my hands I want Matches to take one look at Eel and say 'i dont know how this criminal has a heart of gold and one hell of a sense of humor but i want to be his friend.' And then Eel ghosts him and he hears rumors about a job gone wrong and when he investigated everyone swears Eel is dead... because no one could've survived being dunked into whatever the hell Eel was pushed into. And well, it makes sense that he's the only one who mourns a criminal, a man who tried his best. Batplas has so much damn potential!!! It'd be even funnier if neither of them realized they had super secret 'criminal' identities until they were buddies in the JLA too. Why would they?? Plas is a reformed criminal (now) plastic shapeshifter and it would've been easier to make the world believe Eel died (before he had to resurrect his criminal persona for JLA business). Why would he believe that the man he knew as Matches Malone wasn't actually him but a superhero role playing as a criminal to get information?? All im saying is it would be the funniest identity reveal ever. And such a funny reveal would be perfectly in character for their relationship. Anywho I hope you've enjoyed my rambling and if you ever want to come off anon I will gladly blabber into your ear about all of my batplas headcanons and aus!!! Thanks for the ask!!! <3
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hoziersapphic · 1 year
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inifinite blue boys in stardew valley!!
THE DISCORD HAS ME ACTING UP, BABY
alright so each li will have listed loved/hated items, their loved/hated dialogue, and a few bullet points of in-game behavior and little trivia about them in the world of stardew valley! also, SPOILERS FOR SDV 1.5 UPDATE, STARDEW EXPANDED, AND LATE GAME BASE STARDEW
alexei demidov
loves: iridium bar, quartz, all gems
hates: sugar, ice cream, chocolate cake, pink cake, escargot, cranberry candy
irregular gifting: likes all geodes, coral, sea cucumber, radioactive bar/ore, and super cucumber
favorite movies: natural wonders: exploring our vibrant world
social circle: he’s good friends with maru, leah, and emily. he thinks very highly of demetrius. at higher friendship levels, alexei will tell you about how he thoroughly enjoys his conversations with emily regarding science and spirituality and how they can co-exist and intertwine.
loved gift: "MC, this is fantastic! Thank you."
hated gift: "Oh, uh- sorry. Not for me, thank you."
brooklyn hayes
loves: green tea, wine, tea set, jade, fairy rose, pearl
hates: fried mushroom, all foraged mushrooms, horseradish, void egg
social circle: great friends with olivia, caroline, and elliot. at the night market, he can be seen night 1 with leah discussing the lupini original painting being sold.
sebastian behavior: brooklyn spends a surprising amount of time in his mansion, though at least he isn’t always in his room the way sebastian is. thankfully, that makes getting to two hearts a bit easier.
pen pal: after 6 hearts, brooklyn will send you little trinkets in the mail when he’s away on business! he’ll send baked goods, low level rings, or tea leaves.
loved gift: "MC, this is gorgeous! Thank you. What a delightful and generous gift."
hated gift: "Ah, no thank you. Forgive me."
milo deluca
loves: spaghetti, eggplant parmesan, triple shot espresso, obsidian, amethyst
hates: cloth, life elixir, salmonberry
irregular gifting: likes field snack
favorites movies: it howls in the night
cracking open a cold one with the boys: each friday night, milo sits at the saloon with willy, shane, and clint. he’s good friends with gus.
pen pals: after hitting 6 hearts, milo will send you little parcels in the mail, saying he found this at work and thought you would like it or find some use for it. he sends batteries, iron bars, field snacks, and coffee.
loved gift: "That's sweet of you, MC. Thanks."
hated gift: "No thanks."
leo roselund
loves: super meal, dragon tooth, artifact trove, blue jazz
hates: coffee, triple shot espresso, pickles, bone flute, heavy disk
irregular gifting: likes ancient sword, elven jewelry, dislikes pepper poppers and spicy eel
favorite movies: journey of the prairie king: the motion picture, wumbus
marriage trivia: he wears different hats once you marry him! similarly to in-game children or your farm horse, after you've spoken to him, approach him with a hat to change which one he's wearing.
hubby perks: marrying leo not only will get you a stardrop just as the other marriage candidates do, but also a prismatic rock candy. he found it at a ren faire and thought you would like it. :)
loved gift: "MC, this is awesome!! You're the best!"
hated gift: "MC... you shouldn't have. Really, you shouldn't have."
rory gatlin
loves: eggplant, tea set, cherry, eggplant parmesan
hates: herring, dandelion, hash browns, milk
favorite movies: the zuzu city express, it howls in the night, mysterium
irregular gifting: likes spring onion, survival burger
he’s a working man: rory is employed by the local library, and as you find missing books, he’ll comment on the new titles you found. vincent is scared of rory’s lowkey RBF and low tolerance for loud nonsense, but at a high enough friendship level, jas will tell the farmer that she catches him talking to penny about what books you might like. she asks if you know whether he has a crush on you. this is especially funny if you’ve already married rory.
loved gift: "Oh... thanks."
hated gift: "Nope, get that away from me."
tobias fox
loves: rabbit's foot, piña colada, shrimp cocktail, tiger's eye, diamond
hates: holly, sea cucumber, clay
irregular gifting: likes qi fruit
real gamer: the point total you have to beat for mr qi in endless mode junimo kart is tobias’s record high score.
social circle: he’s friends with haley and alex mostly, but leo (roselund, not child leo) often remarks about how cool tobias is.
14 heart marriage event: this only unlocks if you've accessed qi's casino. tobias wakes you up in a cut scene the morning after you reach 14 hearts, telling you he has an outfit picked out for you, and to meet him at the bus stop this evening wearing it. he drives you to calico desert, where he introduces you to an old friend of his: mr qi. he’s shocked that you’ve already heard of him, but he's glad all the same that he can spend this time with great company. he then takes you to the high rollers table, a speech bubble pops above his head reading, “deal me in!” and the cut scene fades to black.
loved gift: "Hey, this is really something, MC! You've got real taste."
hated gift: "Yeah, no thanks. Better luck next time."
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