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kipog · 1 year

Text

"Did you mean it?"

an Emily is Away fan fiction written by Kipog

Mat x OC

• 1/7/20 • Wednesday • 10.57 am •

Matthew7: dudeee

ColdWeather: yes?

Matthew7: I'm actually gonna die like NOW

ColdWeather: and why is that?

Matthew7: college starts in like a month ugh

ColdWeather: I'm well aware

Matthew7: it sucks that we won't be going to the same school anymore :/

ColdWeather: yeah, it'll suck but I'm sure that we can find some time to hang out right?

Matthew7: yeah I guess ://

ColdWeather: hey cheer up man, wanna hop on some r6?

Matthew7: always >:)

• 30/7/20 • Thursday • 6.08 pm •

Matthew7: SAGE

ColdWeather: yeah? why are we yelling lmao

Matthew7: college is starting in like 4 days!!!!

ColdWeather: yep, I've started to pack my stuff for it, you've started too right?

Matthew7: ...

Matthew7: anyways, we should hang out! this could be our last hang out ever man

ColdWeather: oh don't be so dramatic, we'll hang out during college too

Matthew7: I know but I still wanna hang out before it starts :/

ColdWeather: I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the same

Matthew7: we can get absolutely fucking wastedd on my roof tonight!!!!

ColdWeather: that's one hell of a way to hang out

Matthew7: It's the last day we can hang out before break ends! gotta go off with a bang

Matthew7: so youre coming right??

ColdWeather: yeah yeah yeah I'll be there by 9

Matthew7: hell yes!!!! I'll see you there!!

ColdWeather: see yaaa

Matthew7 is offline

ColdWeather is offline

• 18/8/20 • Tuesday • 4.46 pm •

Matthew7: hey

ColdWeather: yo

Matthew7: soo hows college treating you?

ColdWeather: it's been treating me alright i guess, what about you?

Matthew7: its been super boring ngl ://

Matthew7: make any new friends yet?

ColdWeather: I think so, her name is Casey, she knows how to skate and stuff which is pretty cool

Matthew7: oh thats nice

Matthew7: the people in my class are kinda snobbish so its been kinda tough for me

ColdWeather: oof sorry to hear man

ColdWeather: oh wait I gotta go, I have a group project thing at like 5 ish

Matthew7: oh uh alright, have fun man

ColdWeather: yeah you too

ColdWeather is offline

• 5/9/20 • Saturday • 3.08 am •

Matthew7: hey

Matthew7: I know you're probably not awake right now

Matthew7: sorry for missing your birthday yesterday, I was really busy with school stuff and I literally just finished some homework

Matthew7: I actually wanted to surprise you by going to your school

Matthew7: happy belated birthday man

ColdWeather: mat?

Matthew7: holy shit, you're awake?

ColdWeather: haha yeag I went ouf for somee drinjs wit casee and her boyfreind

ColdWeather: her boyfriend is soooo preeyty

Matthew7: sounds like you had fun

ColdWeather: yea yeah I didd

ColdWeather: bbut I donno

ColdWeather: I wanted yyou to be here but you wenrnt

ColdWeather: and I kept thijnkinf about you :(((

Matthew7: you were?

ColdWeather: yeah!! caasye broght me back when I starrted crying about howw you wernt here :((

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: hey, are you free later?

ColdWeather: yyeah probabbly

Matthew7: I'm gonna visit you since you're a little crybaby who needs to be taken care of

ColdWeather: aawwh youre coming??

Matthew7: you probably won't even remember that I said any of this

ColdWeather: hghhhhhhhhhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

Matthew7: oh my god you fell asleep didn't you

Matthew7: wow.

Matthew7: thats fine, you need the rest anyway

Matthew7: goodnight sage

Matthew7 is offline

[ 7.45 pm ]

ColdWeather: hey

Matthew7: yoo

ColdWeather: thanks for taking care of my hungover ass today

Matthew7: dude, if not me then who else?

ColdWeather: honestly true

ColdWeather: it was kind of weird hanging out with you and casey today

Matthew7: whys that?

ColdWeather: I don't know, like, hanging out with an old friend and a new friend was pretty trippy for me

Matthew7: yeah I can see why u'd think that :p

Matthew7: oh wait did you see my gift yet?

ColdWeather: gift?

Matthew7: I left it under your blanket looll

ColdWeather: let me check

ColdWeather: a bracelet?

Matthew7: yeah, i know youre not really a jewelry guy but idk, figured you needed some type of bling :P

ColdWeather: it has my initials on it too! dude I'm gonna wear this like everyday now

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: yeah you better, I spent good money on it

Matthew7: I uh, wanted to ask you something too if thats cool

ColdWeather: yeah sure go ahead

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: is it true you actually cried on your birthday cause i wasn't there?

ColdWeather: shiiiiit

ColdWeather: did casey tell you?

Matthew7: bitch you're the one who told me

ColdWeather: wait what?

ColdWeather: holy shit i did

ColdWeather: okay yeah, I'll own up to it, I cried because I kinda missed you

Matthew7: "kinda"

ColdWeather: shut up

Matthew7: well im glad we hung out today

Matthew7: you probably would've bawled your eyes out if I didn't show

ColdWeather: oh my god shut it already

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: okay I gotta go, I have to do some stuff now

ColdWeather: oh, okay, good luck with that

Matthew7: see ya

Matthew7 is offline

• 30/9/20 • Wednesday • 11.29 pm •

Matthew7: sage

ColdWeather: mat

Matthew7: woah, wasn't expecting you to be awake

ColdWeather: I was actually gonna go to bed soon

Matthew7: man shut up

Matthew7: what are you doing up so late anyway?

ColdWeather: studying.

Matthew7: riiight, exams are in like a month

Matthew7: its literally just midyears tho

ColdWeather: still need to study for them, you should too

ColdWeather: why are you texting me this late by the way

Matthew7: I wanted to ask you something

ColdWeather: you can ask me tomorrow, go to sleep dude

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: yeah youre probably right, I kinda forgot the question anyway lool

ColdWeather: typical mat

ColdWeather: night

Matthew7: yeah, night

Matthew7 is offline

ColdWeather is offline

• 24/10/20 • Saturday • 1.24 pm •

Matthew7: sage sage sage

ColdWeather: good afternoon to you too

Matthew7: got any cool parties youre going to for halloween??

ColdWeather: I'm like 95% sure that I'll be boxed up in my dorm studying until I die on halloween night

Matthew7: oh c'monnnnn youve worked hard enough! lets go party!!

ColdWeather: mat, as much as i would love to party, I can't. midyears are literally next month

Matthew7: dude

Matthew7: please?

Matthew7: like, I know how hard you've been working and I dunno, I thought a party might take some stress off of you

ColdWeather is typing...

ColdWeather is deleting...

ColdWeather: dammit mat

ColdWeather: you got any parties in mind?

Matthew7: hell yeah I do!!

Matthew7: there's gonna be a huge house party that some kid from my class is throwing

Matthew7: apparently its gonna be at a mansion??

ColdWeather: okay, that does sound pretty sick

Matthew7: right???

ColdWeather: send me the details

Matthew7: it'll be at thomson road street 43 at 8 pm but I'll pick you up so you don't have to worry about a ride B)

ColdWeather: oh okay, thanks man

ColdWeather: wait, do I have to dress up?

Matthew7: well duh, dude it's a halloween party

ColdWeather: uugh I'll need to think of a costume idea then

Matthew7: well in case you wanna match, I'm totally going as green lantern

ColdWeather: I am not surprised in the slightest

Matthew7: well it's not as predicable as batman so I'm pretty satisfied with my choice B)

ColdWeather: I'll probably go as the flash then

Matthew7: that would be dope as hellllll

ColdWeather: while you're here btw, you wanna hop on a game?

Matthew7: holy shit, we haven't played in like forever

ColdWeather: so are you down?

Matthew7: dude always

Matthew7: modern warfare?

ColdWeather: hell yes

• 1/11/20 • Sunday • 8.45 am •

ColdWeather: mat

ColdWeather: can we talk about last night?

[ 2.31 pm ]

ColdWeather: mat please

ColdWeather: are you okay?

[ 7.19 pm ]

ColdWeather: matthew please say something

ColdWeather: anything?

[ 9.50 pm ]

ColdWeather: do you not want to be friends anymore? is that it?

• 2/11/20 • Monday • 12.13 am •

Matthew7: I'm sorry

Matthew7: I'm really sorry sage

ColdWeather: oh my god you're alive, are you okay?

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: I'm fine, I'm sorry

ColdWeather: okay, slow down, can you just explain what happened at the party?

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: I don't know, I was drunk, I wasn't thinking right

ColdWeather: dude, you weren't even drunk, you barely even touched your cup

ColdWeather: if anything, I was the one who was drunk

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: how much do you remember?

ColdWeather: well, I remember being with you for the majority of the night, we talked, danced and drunk with a bunch of people but you didn't drink nearly as much as me

ColdWeather: after awhile you said you were kinda tired so we went out to the top floor balcony and sat there and talked for a bit

ColdWeather: then you said that you thought you were in love with someone

ColdWeather: I asked you who it was, but you just stared back at me like you were waiting for something

ColdWeather: then you kissed me

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

ColdWeather: I had to call casey to pick me up after you ran away

Matthew7: sorry for leaving you there

ColdWeather: dude it's fine it's just... the whole in love with me thing

ColdWeather: is that really how you feel?

ColdWeather: did you mean it?

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: yes I meant every fucking word i said on that balcony

Matthew7: I have loved you ever since high school, maybe even before that

Matthew7: I thought that I just wanted to be really good friends with you but I don't know, during high school, I started to realise that I wanted more than that

Matthew7: you probably think Im a fucking creep now

ColdWeather: I don't think that at all, understand?

ColdWeather: I just need some time to think

ColdWeather: we should be asleep right now anyway, goodnight mat

ColdWeather is offline

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7 is offline

• 24/11/20 • Tuesday • 4.07 pm •

ColdWeather: hey

Matthew7: hi

ColdWeather: how are you dealing with midyears?

Matthew7: It's been okay

ColdWeather: that's good

Matthew7 is offline

• 4/12/20 • Friday • 8.19 pm •

Matthew7: what the fuck are you doing

ColdWeather: oh good, you texted first

Matthew7: I can see you from my window

ColdWeather: yeah, that's kinda the point

ColdWeather: now come down here and snowball fight me

Matthew7: what? why?

ColdWeather: because clearly, whatever we have going on isn't getting anywhere so the obvious solution, is a fight to the death

Matthew7: dude, we aren't in middle school anymore, go home

ColdWeather: not until I beat your ass with some snow

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: fuck you

Matthew7: by the time I'm done, youre gonna be begging for mercy

ColdWeather: finally! a worthy challenger!

• 27/12/20 • Sunday • 8.12 am •

ColdWeather: hey

Matthew7: hi

ColdWeather: are you doing anything for new years?

Matthew7: I don't think so, maybe I'll go out with some friends or something but it's a strong maybe

ColdWeather: would you perhaps like to see some fireworks?

Matthew7: yeah sure, I'll have to think of some gifts for casey and her boyfriend tho

ColdWeather: oh, uh, they're not coming

Matthew7: so it'll just be us?

ColdWeather: yeah, is that cool?

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: does this mean you've made up your mind?

ColdWeather: well, yes, but I wanna tell you in person

Matthew7: with a bunch of fireworks exploding in the background?

ColdWeather: yeah

Matthew7 is typing...

Matthew7 is deleting...

Matthew7: are you asking me out on a date?

ColdWeather: it'll be a date once I very romantically tell you how I feel in front of a million fireworks covering the sky

Matthew7: you are the biggest nerd I've ever met

ColdWeather: I'm glad to hear it

ColdWeather: I'll pick you up and we can go to the park to see the fireworks

Matthew7: how romantical

ColdWeather: that's not even a word

Matthew7: yeah it is, I just made it up!

ColdWeather: and you call me the nerd

Matthew7: and I stand by that

ColdWeather: whatever you dork

ColdWeather: I'll see you on new years :)

Matthew7: see you :)

Matthew7 is offline

ColdWeather is offline

#emily is away #emily is away too #emily is away <3 #mat gursky #matgursky #fanfiction

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keets-writing-corner · 18 days

Text

Alright everyone, buckle up and sit down. I was talking with @nerdasaurus1200 on another post and came to the conclusion that I need to write Sera meta so let's freaking GO

I'm mostly gonna be talking about Sera, what we know about her so far, and what makes her tick (aka her fears) and why she's not a bitch/asshole the way apparently so many people like to portray her? (I've mostly just been hanging out with fan art and headcanons specifically about Lucifer in the fandom so I haven't seen these specifically, but someone approached me about how they liked m portrayal of Sera in my fic which was NOT that of an asshole and apparently multiple people are portraying her that way? Idk I haven't seen any but uh yeah let's talk SERA)

Characters are always the most important part of a story, and even if they're not a main character and/or the audience nor the writer know what they want/need, the writer at the very least needs to know How and Why a character makes decisions, instead of just "oh they're an asshole" So let's do that for Sera. Why is she making the decisions she's making? LETS GO

Let's start off by talking about what we know about Sera

She's at least as old as Lucifer, she was there for the creation of earth given the appearance of her silhouette in Charlie's exposition

We know that the exterminations might have been Adam's idea, but it was HER decision to approve them

We know that she's FOR SURE older than Emily

and the other thing we know for sure about her is that she is the High Seraphim (we don't know WHAT that means exactly but clearly it is a position of authority and rule)

So those are the things we know for sure:

She's about as old as Lucifer

She approved the exterminations

She's older than Emily

and she's the high Seraphim

Now I'm going to circle back to all of these points but I want to start off with her relationship with Lucifer

Unfortunately for all of us, the only thing we can say about their relationship with 100% certainty is that they for SURE know each other, either because they were essentially "coworkers" in the past, or because they're both the respective rulers of their realms (even if Sera has some people above her) and they're implied to interact with each other

(at the very least you cannot convince me otherwise that they don't interact. Someone had to have talked to Lucifer about the exterminations for him to have had "approved it" and we know it wasn't Adam because Lucifer hadn't seen Adam since he fell to hell until the finale, and we know that Sera was not only the one to approve said exterminations but also decreed that no one else in heaven know about them. She clearly must have spoken to Lucifer about it because there's nobody else left who had the authority to do that AND knew about them)

So at the very least in present day Sera and Lucifer have some sort of professional relationship as leaders. And I'll come back to this because it's implied that this relationship isn't a very good one, but first let's talk about the past

full stop, we have NO IDEA what sort of relationship Sera and Lucifer might have had when he was still in heaven. But here's the thing, even if their relation was strictly "yeah I know them cuz I work with them, but that's as far as it goes" Lucifer's fall STILL would have been horrifying for Sera to witness. He was the same rank as her, probably no other angel except the elders likely ranked higher, and they still banished him. Charlie's storybook leaves it at that, but Lucifer implies it was violent in his debut episode.

trauma is a funny thing when you think about it, you're just as likely to develop trauma by watching someone else be assaulted as you are for you to have been assaulted. And Sera was there, she likely saw the whole thing happen. So not only did Sera watch how brutal the elders could be to someone who questioned and disobeyed the order, but the fact that it was done to LUCIFER someone of equal rank and authority as her means that absolutely NOBODY is safe from the elders

and this is without taking into account that on some level, she and Lucifer had to have been close. There are no other seraphim in heaven besides her, the elders (who appear to be rather hands off and uninvolved) and Emily. Emily was likely created as a replacement for Lucifer, so at the time, it was basically just her and Lucifer as the only seraphim up there. They not only worked closely together, they likely had a close bond as well. Now I have my own head canon preferences as to what kind of bond, BUT let's ignore that and look at 3 options (although there are likely more, but huuu this post is gonna be long already so let's not push it yeah? )

option 1: equal peers. You are Sera and you've known Lucifer all your life. You two have "grown up" together, learned about the world and your powers together. You're comrades in arms! You know all of each other's secrets! You lean on each other for support as you lead heaven together. You work together all the time. Sure, he can be a little excitable at times but it's so much FUN right? This guy could be your bestie/brother. And you sit back and watch as the only ones with more authority than you, skewer him and banish him to hell for having questioned the order and now there's a metaphorical spear against your back at all times because you know it could have been you instead, and it could still be you if you don't behave

Option 2: Lucifer is your mentor. He's taught you everything you know. The ropes, your powers, the world. He's fantastic! You admire him greatly. He has such energy you could never hope to match. You put him on a pedestal, and in one fell swoop the only people he answers to destroy your mentor in front of you. You are now alone, without any more advice or guidance other than a warning to not step out of line as your mentor once did

Option 3: Lucifer is your apprentice. He's adorable! A little over enthusiastic but who doesn't love someone who's passionate about the things they like? He brings a wonderful energy and vibe, and... he's your responsibility. You try to reign in his wild energy only for the elders to step in and banish him because you failed him and now you know that the elders could do that to you too

So, I'll be honest, option 3 is NOT the one I'm biased towards, but if it ends up being that one, it would make Sera's behavior towards Emily extra heartbreaking. She already failed one apprentice, she will not fail another one, right?

Either way, Sera is terrified of going against the elders because of what they did to Lucifer in spite of his rank. She knows first hand how harsh they can be and because of that, she will do everything in her power to make sure nobody around her falls into the same fate. No one will ever question the elders again, and she will lie and withhold information to make sure that happens

And we're just talking about the INITIAL banishment.

Now why would Sera bring this up, unless what she was most afraid of wasn't even the initial banishment, but of the suffering she clearly knows comes afterwards? And why would she care or even know about the suffering? Well, if it's true that she and Lucifer were close, then regardless if she was spying on him or not the way we know heaven can do, she still watched a cute enthusiastic little angel go from this:

to this

all because because he suffered.

She watched him question, get banished, suffer, and change into someone she didn't recognize, in real time. And the worst part is, she's not only scared of what happened TO him, she's personally scared OF him and what he's become. He might be fallen, but he's still a powerful angel

And this segways into another bullet: she approved the exterminations, but WHY

Charlie's intro implies it was as some sort of punishment towards Lilith who was rallying the demons and they felt threatened

But clearly there's more to this

So first thing I'd like to point out, Sera doesn't look happy about this decision. She mentions as much in the song "You didn't Know" when she outright tells Emily "It was such a hard decision" and earlier in the same episode she outright tells Adam she wouldn't have approved of this if she had known it'd make things "worse"

But this is incomplete. Something doesn't make sense. Sera clearly meets with Lucifer for certain matters as previously established, and Lucifer, in spite of his initial trauma "NO CHARLIE DO NOT TALK TO HEAVEN" knee jerk reaction, never doubted that he COULD in fact get her a meeting with heaven. He outright tells her at the end of episode 5

He never says, "I'll try to get the meeting". He says straight up, I can do this. There isn't a doubt in his mind that he can get this meeting. He knows Sera will meet with him/take his call (idk how he contacts heaven) and will agree to the meeting. We don't really know WHY Sera agreed to this if she thought it was a bad idea and never really intended to entertain the idea to begin with, going as far as to tell Adam to rig the results and calling Charlie misguided. So what's up? Why on earth would she agree to it? Well...?

Sera is scared of the demons of hell, hence why she approved the exterminations, but she's even MORE scared of Lucifer and folded to his request. (or idk maybe there's more going on here and she feels guilt about what happened to him so she folds to him sometimes idk, but for the sake of this meta, SHE'S SCARED OF HIM)

but here's what's kinda weird. Charlie's storybook only mentions LILITH'S involvement with the demons rising in power, not Lucifer. Sera later claims that they were uprising to Emily as the reason she's scared of them and that it's her job to keep everyone safe.

Clearly SOMETHING happened between the creation of Hell and the exterminations being approved that involved BOTH the sinners AND Lucifer that made Sera scared of both. Sera doesn't seem the type to fear without reason. She fears questioning the order because that incurs the elders' wrath. She fears the elders because of what they did to Lucifer. She fears angels falling because she saw how much it hurt Lucifer. Sera is not the type to fear randomly. Clearly there is some sort of thing that happened that made it clear to Sera that Lucifer is to be feared enough to fold to his requests and that the sinners are dangerous enough that it justifies genocide.

And now to bring back the whole Sera is older than Emily. Emily didn't know this otherwise Sera wouldn't have needed to tell her. AKA Emily wasn't even around when said conflict happened. Sera not only had to go through something that clearly traumatized her to the point where she agreed that genocide was a reasonable response, but she had to go through that ALONE. Trauma is hard enough to deal with, but to have to navigate it alone really gives it some steroids it has no business in having

This genuinely makes me wonder how long the exterminations have to have been taking place. It probably took a WHILE for hell to gather up enough numbers that they started making buildings by the look of Charlie's storybook, AND THEN did something against heaven, so this was not happening from day one of hell, far from it. And this also makes me wonder how old exactly is Emily? She strikes me as extremely young

season 2 come out please, I'm working from CRUMBS here, there is so much we don't know

But yeah, all of this to say, Sera isn't just some alpha bitch who's prejudiced against demons (not to say there isn't bias there, there ABSOLUTELY is, ugh) but at her core, she's a leader who underwent a lot of trauma and she's full of fear and she makes decisions, rational, moral or not, based off of that fear. And yeah unfortunately, fear, especially trauma based fear, messes with us in ways we never would expect

a kind man may suddenly resort to violence. The confident argumentative person, may instead end up frozen. Someone who thought they valued their family all their life instead runs away. We may regret what we do in moments in fear, we might even logically know that we're making bad decisions, or decisions that go against our morals. Sera CLEARLY hates that she made the decision to approve extermination, but she holds onto it steadfast because it alleviates the fear

Funnily enough, I don't particularly LIKE Sera. I dislike her microaggressions towards Charlie and her attempts to sabotage her efforts at the meeting by calling upon Adam. But as a writer, looking at the clues I got to say she's a very interesting character to me. She seems like a reasonable authority figure, but she's so full of trauma that she's letting her fear make all of her decisions for her

#hazbin hotel #Sera #sera hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #Meta #Analysis #character analysis #ugh I wanted to talk about so many other things too #but they would derail the overall topic of SERA #so idk maybe be on the look out for more meta from me?#I almost went off on a whole tangent on how Lucifer and Sera respond to trauma in an eerily similar way #Lucifer was so desperate to just give Charlie whatever she wanted #but the second she said the magic trauma words #there was no hesitation no thoughts on his part just immediate IDEA SHUT DOWN #like the way when you touch a hot surface and the signal of HOT doesnt even reach your brain #your spine just yeets your hand away from it before you can even process what happened #that's what happened to Lucifer #he heard HEAVEN and immediately said NO #Sera is similarly also shutting down ideas from Emily due to #get this #THE SAME EXACT TRAUMA #(lucifer's banishment by the elders)#idk it's pretty fascinating #but yeah Sera isn't a bitch or an asshole she's just scared #for herself but especially for the people she loves

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