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bloodydeanwinchester · 9 months

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god i love the motel scene in on the head of a pin where uriel and cas come to take dean away to torture alastair. it is such a good early destiel scene. dean is so pissed and cas is just standing over in the corner all “dean we know this is difficult to understand” while uriel is saying “and we dont care!” cas looks straight ahead like fuck i messed up again AND THEN the way that dean looks at cas and the way that cas refuses to look back at him. and then when he finally does he looks so conflicted! and then dean just looks only at cas and pleads with him “you cant ask me to do this cas—not this” and cas looks like he wants to give in he wants to give dean whatever he wants but he’s still fighting it! still trying to be the good soldier he thinks he is. this episode is literally such a turning point for cas’s character. he hasn’t quite reached the point of no return yet but this is the episode where he finally takes a big step in that direction

#ive watched this episode so many times now because of my faith dean fic #it’s so important to me #spn #on the head of a pin #spn 4x16 #destiel #jenna.post

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sunglassesmish · 6 months

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his face is a work of art

#my gifs #cas #castiel #spn #spnedit #spn 4x16 #be warned i'm making more from this episode and he looks good in every shot

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hells-plaid-angel · 3 months

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Dean had the lung capacity of a deep-sea diver. After years of holding his breath as he drove through tunnels, he'd honed the skill, only gasping for breath when the Impala's windshield broke through the darkness and into the light. The habit had formed as a child but lingered into adulthood as most childhood fantasies did.

As a boy, his father raised him on superstition. If you made a wish when the world was swallowed by blackness and you could hold your breath until the end of a tunnel, that wish would come true. Over the years he'd wished for a hundred stupid things. He'd wished his mother was still alive, that he lived a normal life or that a pretty girl would look his way. He'd wished his father had been the one who'd died in the fire. He wished he didn't feel that way.

Once Dean had blacked out in the backseat of the Impala when driving the I-90 through Boston. He'd come to with Sammy squealing like a stuck pig and John Winchester cursing like a sailor. For the next year, being in Massachusetts made him feel light-headed.

Kids and old men are similar in their love of rituals. Dean was no longer a child, but he wasn't ready to call himself an old man. The ritual had changed over the years, but at its heart, it was always the same.

Dean found his new ritual each night he woke from a nightmare. That night, he found himself in the bunker. The image of his hands covered in blood lingered in the darkness of the room. He held his breath wishing for the dream not to be true. He only breathed when he switched on the lights and found his hands clean. In his dreams, Cas was always dying.

The nightmares weren't helped by the fact that the angel had died, numerous times. His sleep-addled mind took time to sort fact from fiction. Had Cas come back this time?

Dean Winchester knew better than anybody that death didn't always stick. Dean Winchester knew better than anybody that the universe liked to make him suffer. Both statements were equally true.

In the nightmare, Cas had died in his arms. He'd awoken, held his breath, switched on the lights and choked out a breath, which sounded suspiciously like a sob. When the drowning feeling reseeded he found himself exiting his bedroom, searching for the object of his nightmares as a drowning man searches for land.

Dean would never admit to himself he was looking for Cas, but the knowledge was there. There were many things Dean knew but wasn't ready to admit.

Dean found the angel in the library of the bunker, absentmindedly flicking through ancient texts and Sam's collection of trashy fitness and lifestyle magazines indiscriminately. A heavy weight on his chest dissipated. Cas looked up at Dean's sharp inhale. He could breathe again.

"Hello, Dean," the angel greeted, as though he were late to some prearranged meeting.

"Morning, Cas," Dean spoke, for lack of a better topic of conversation. He collapsed into the seat beside Cas.

"It's currently 3:15 a.m. and the sun isn't scheduled to rise until 5:25."

"Thanks for the weather report, buddy," Dean griped. His tone lacked the usual exasperated edge he used when Cas said something that struck him as particularly alien, which was often.

"How are you, Dean? You seem... unmoored."

People in the twenty-first century didn't use words like 'unmoored'. Dean knew exactly what Cas wasn't saying. Dean seemed upset. If there was one thing Dean didn't cope well with, it was being anything less than 'fine'. They were experts in each other's pathology, which would always feel strange. Dean wasn't used to being known.

"Can we talk about something else?" Dean had been working on the concept of denial. However, avoidance was fair game.

"If I'm going to be staying here long term, I want to buy better magazines," Cas stated, tossing the magazine haphazardly. He'd been staying for longer than usual. Dean kept feeling like he was holding his breath, waiting for the angel to disappear.

"We can drive into town come morning. Need to clear my head anyway."

"You haven't been sleeping well," Cas observed, his eyes shifting their attention to Dean. The blue-grey eyes said more than his words. His eyes were an ocean to an inexperienced swimmer. Not everyone could read them. Dean could. There was something more to them. A strong rip beneath steady water. There was a storm raging beneath the surface.

"It's creepy that you've noticed that," Dean remarked.

"You haven't been very quiet."

Dean wondered how much Cas heard. Did he talk in his sleep? Did he call out Cas' name in the night? Had the angel heard the moments of weakness where Dean had let himself muffle sobs behind his hand?

"This isn't changing the subject."

"I've been changing the subject all week. Evidently, it's not working," Cas' voice was resolute.

He and Dean shared their stubbornness, which always led to unproductive stalemates. They were two bucks with their antlers interlocked, starving and trapped in their own idiocy.

"The thing about being human, Cas, is that things don't magically just get fixed because you want them to." Dean rebuked.

"I'm aware, but have you actually tried to fix it?"

They were fighting. Why were they fighting?

"Talking never really solved much in my line of work. You know that."

"Is this about work?" Cas questioned.

They hadn't had any difficult hunts in weeks. Cas knew it wasn't about the job. He wanted Dean to know he knew.

"It doesn't matter what it's about. That's not the point. You don't get it." Dean felt the truth pushing its way up to the surface.

"Then help me understand."

"The problem —." Dean began before he felt anger or frustration choke the words from him.

"The problem is you keep dying."

He'd expected Cas to baulk at the confession. Dean wasn't one for sharing fears or feelings. What he hadn't expected was the look of horror that settled on the angel's face.

Dean scowled and scrubbed at his cheek, quietly cursing himself when his palm pulled back wet. Over the years, he'd gotten good at crying quietly. He hated that he was able to hide it from himself. Men didn't cry. Dean didn't cry. It was a lie, not so much a superstition, but a fable. A story he told himself.

"Dean I — I didn't realise my death... affected you so much. I apologise for the oversight," Cas spoke slowly, as though deliberately choosing each word with care.

How the hell could Cas not know his death, every goddamn one, hurt Dean? Cas was family.

"Yeah, well, I pegged you for a lot of things, Cas. Stupid wasn't one of 'em. So just... Be careful. I'm going to bed," Dean mumbled, praying for a quick exit.

Cas grabbed Dean's arm as he passed, stilling him. Dean felt the restriction return to his throat. He held his breath. He wished Cas knew what he meant without having to say it out loud.

Neither man spoke. The silence stretched long and loud between them. Cas clung to Dean's arm like a dying man to a life raft. For his part, Dean was just trying to stay afloat. Slowly, almost imperceptibly so, Cas' palm slid down to hold Dean's hand. Dean let him, which was as good as a confession.

There would be no confessions. A confession implied guilt, something that Dean had in droves, but not about Cas. It wasn't a lie so much as it was a fable. If a story was told long enough it became history.

He and Cas were still in the dark, biding time between apocalypses. He wished that when they finally found themselves in brighter times, there would be no need for confessions.

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msbethgreene · 4 months

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#mygifs*#msbethgreene #twd #the walking dead #beth greene #emily kinney #episode: a #the walking dead 4x16 #twd 4x16 #my gifs #my colouring #twdedit #thewalkingdeadedit #bethgreeneedit #judith grimes #juditchgrimesedit #beth and judith #.

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spextronaut · 7 months

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THE FACT THAT HOUSE WOULD RATHER BE DEAD THAN FOR WILSON TO HATE HIM. I AM FIGHTING THE WRITERS WIRH MY BARE FUCKING HANDS

#house md #house 4x16 #greg house #james wilson #hilson #I am collapsed on the floor sobbing none of you bitches prepared me for this episode #I knew I’d be sad but like. what the fuck #Cuddy holding House’s hand??? Wilson checking on House but not saying anything to him??? gonna sob

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denimshortsdean · 7 months

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Hey I’m watching 4x16 On The Head of A Pin do u guys want anything

#4x16 #on the head of a pin #Rach does s4 #I am Thinking extremely hard about this #as always #I am not looking respectfully in the slightest at anyone in this episode

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murcielagatito · 6 months

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can i say it in czech?

#4x16 what a crazy episode i cant believe it ended like this #jetra #jtv #jane x petra #mi arte #art #jane the virgin #jane villanueva #petra solano

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nikki-rook · 10 months

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This had to have been a blooper they recovered, right?

#it doesnt matter i freaking love it #and her hair is just my absolute favorite in this episode #season 4 #4x16 #linchpin #castle #abc castle #caskett #kate beckett #castlegraphics #richard castle #stana katic #nathan fillion #castle tv show #castleseason4 #castle season 4 #season4

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chenfordspiral · 9 months

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Tim and Lucy in every episode of The Rookie 4x16 || Real Crime "Can I be interviewed alone?"

#chenford #the rookie #lucy chen #tim bradford #lucy x tim #tim x lucy #chenfordedit #chenford edit #tim and lucy in every episode of TR #s4 #4x16 #queued

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420technoblazeit · 1 year

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girls when. girls when daddy's little girl broke in 30

#supernatural #spn #spn 4x16 #on the head of a pin #dean winchester #the pig squeals #alastair spn #IM GOIGN INSANE BTW I FORGOT HOW MESSED UP HTIS EPISODE WAS

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bloodydeanwinchester · 1 month

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🩸Bloody Dean Every Episode🩸 ↳ 4x16 || On the Head of a Pin

#literally episode of all time<333 #bloodydeanseries #bloody dean #my beloved<3 #spn 4x16 #spnedit #cowboycoven #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #tw blood #altarofrowena

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littlebluejaydraws · 1 year

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Little (fallen) angel on your shoulder 😈😇

ID: Two images each showing two overlaid digital drawings, of Ruby and Anna from Supernatural respectively. In the first image the background is blue, in the second it is pink, otherwise the images are the same. Both drawings are taken from episode 4x16. Ruby is in front, shown shoulders up, and looking up and to her right. Anna is over Ruby's left shoulder with her body facing away, but her head turned to look back over her shoulder. There are doodles of devil's horn and tail over Ruby and a halo and wings over Anna. End ID

#ruby #spn ruby #anna milton #supernatural #spn #annaruby #spn 4x16 #on the head of a pin #more othoap drawings :)#truly episode of all time

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billiewena · 2 years

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my letterboxd top 4 spn episodes except I made it top 8 because there’s literally 300+ episodes to choose from and I didn’t want the others to feel left out (inspired by the @clairewolf post)

#I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT LILY SUNDER IN MY POST YESTERDAY love that episode #also I adore Baby but Funeralia has billiewena AND the cas scene where he's stuck in heaven waiting room so #I think after great consideration I think my bloody valentine is my favorite episode of the show #something about dean being called empty inside and sam saying 'wait your turn' with a bloody mouth and hamburglar cas I think #anyways this was super fun even if some are meh #ntjdmakesthings #spn #spn 5x14 #spn 13x01 #spn 2x21 #spn 4x16 #spn 3x11 #spn 12x10 #spn 13x19 #spn 6x20

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chiosblog · 6 months

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